#But I watched the show from Day 1 since I was 9. Those clips had came out when I was 11-12.

[kaythefloppa]

Lion Guard Rant: Janja's Redemption

One of the things that annoy me about The Lion Guard [as much as I enjoy the series] even after nearly half a decade of the show being over is how they handled Janja's redemption arc.

You may think I'm referring to how he was forgiven too easily and got no consequences [I'm not mainly talking punitive, but no further acknowledgment of what he's done or having to own up and apologize] - That's part of the reason why I didn't like it [I still like the character and JanjaxJasiri is a guilty pleasure of mine but yeah there's that little hiccup]:

The other reason is something that almost no one talks about and it drives me nuts, so I gonna have my time to shine; Remember back in The Rise of Scar when Ushari joined the hyenas and suggested communicating with Scar? And then he had this little exchange?

The show makes it very clear that Janja doesn't know the real reason behind Scar's death: That Scar dug his own grave trying to sell out the last hyenas who helped him [who, in case you're new to the TLK/TLG pipeline, are ancestors of Janja's clan, but don't expect that to ever have any relevance in the story --- a rant for another day]. This is important because they use this as an in-universe explanation as to why the hyenas [in the series] would want to help Scar.

Then there are moments like this in the series:

Sound familiar?

Scar makes the same promises as he does to his last army as a means of keeping them in line, regardless of whether or not he actually means it. He wouldn't do this if his audience [the hyenas] were smart enough to catch onto Scar's BS. And again, because Janja's hyenas don't know how badly Scar screwed their [presumed] parents over, they go along with it, continuing the vicious cycle.

Finally, there's the Hyena Resistance, in which Jasiri states she knows about the "legend of Scar" being a hyena.

Now setting aside the fact that there's so much missed potential with that line [like say, maybe Jasiri's clan were members of Shenzi's clan before a revolt, and thus they learned the value of the Circle of Life but again, a rant for another day] Jasiri knows about Scar's alliance with the hyenas, and being allied with SImba's family, who played an instrumental role in Scar's downfall, would give her knowledge on the real reason Scar died:

Combine that with Janja saving Jasiri and offering him a place on the good side and it's clear that the story connects itself together like a bow: Janja realizing the error of his ancestors, thanks to the effort of his fellow hyena and breaking the cycle by fighting for the Circle of Life, fitting the theme of the LK movies of "fighting the demons and evils of the past in order to carve the path for a better future" A very clever and reasonable bit of writing.... except it's not and all but one of the abovementioned stuff goes NOWHERE!!!

Was I the only one actually expecting this to go somewhere??: With how everything was set up and with how the show wanted to tie itself in with the movies, I thought the 3 abovementioned episodes were building up to a season finale where Janja learned the truth of Scar's betrayal of his predecessors and chooses to break the cycle of manipulation and treachery by turning against Scar, possibly finding some way to bring the original trio back into the franchise [one of the biggest golden missed opportunities for the show] and starting his redemption from there on out. I was completely dumbfounded at how all of this un-wraveled in actuality!

Janja's ancestry and Scar's betrayal of the first hyenas who served him have nothing to do with him switching sides, and they leave it pointlessly ambiguous as to whether or not Janja ever finds out that this is not the first time Scar was a backstabbing douche to hyenas.

Oh and they apparently offset this through this really awkward retcon where no one knows how Scar died and everyone thinks Simba killed him by yeeting him into the fire... even though Simba is implied to have told Kovu the real story behind Scar's death [because he SAW the motherfucker getting ripped to shreds by hyenas] and there is never an in-universe explanation given as to why everyone thinks Simba did it [and you can't even use the censors as an excuse, they could easily say "they ate him" - gluttony is the motivation of half the villains in this show, you could easily say the hyenas ate Scar and the kids at home wouldn't be traumatized].

This is also slightly off topic, but I almost find it to be somewhat of a double standard that Janja and the other Outlanders got off the hook, yet Ushari, who left the Pridelands because of the Lion Guard's mistreatment of him, is killed off with no one reacting to his death or his prior betrayal [again, both of which are partially the Lion Guard's fault].

[singto-prachaya]

Did I make a banner specifically for this post? Yes I did. This is a post to introduce you to Offroad Kantapon and Daou Pittaya who are currently starring in the BL Love In Translation. Get to know these two and their close soulmates bond through this post.

Let's start first with a short history lesson: Both participated in the survival show Lazicon (started airing October 9, 2021) and it was the first time they met each other. They became close in a short amount of time and you would often see them holding insta lives together. For a compilation of how they acted with each other during those lives as well as some Lazicon clips I made a fanvideo a while back. I never published it because it was just something I wanted to make for myself and one other person.

Now since the post will be long you can find the rest under the read more link.

One thing Offroad wanted during Lazicon was to perform in the final with Daou and some of his close friends from Insight Entertainment. This would have happened if Daou was fully recovered from having covid but he wasn't. So the performance was without him. Daou however was present through a video call. During a performance were all Lazicon contestants sung together Offroad looked at the screen, saw Daou and started crying. A timestamped video were you can see Offroad getting emotional.

Not in front of my salad! Straight to this point. If you watched my fanvideo or at least a part of it skinship between those two is pretty normal. However if you are contantly all over each other it can cause people to want you to get a room! Especially their band members. There is this behind the scenes clip of Rak Diao in which they made an appearance and check out the timestamped part. Watch for about 20 sec.

Close friends! Daou has some close friends. A couple were from Insight and they had no problem with spilling some tea sometimes. Frank who is now DVI said during a live with the boys and some other contestants "It looks like they are flirting". Daou is also close with Joong Archen and he also had some things to say. "What everyone sees is just a little bit. Joong saw a lot more than that". And he mentioned once how Daou has never taken care of someone like this before not even his close friends. Also during a live with Joong and Daou, Daou got called. Joong then was like "Who is calling? Is that handsome boy. The blond haired one".

The part with Joong starts at 1:45

Jealousy what's that? Anyone who has been in the fandom long enough knows how they talk to each other on twitter and IG. One thing is pretty clear, Daou doesn't like it when Offroad shows to much skin. And he will let it know pretty clearly. Ban hammer gifs, talking about how he has the full sized picture, trying to pull Offroad's shorts, you name it. When the trailer of Our Days was released Offroad appeared half naked in it a couple times and fans then took screenshots and put shirts on Offroad to cover him up. Atime26 even released an edited trailer with those shirts on twitter. The inpact! Most recently Offroad wore a shirt with tiny holes in it and Daou called it see through. And during a recent twitch stream of Daou a fan asked if they could buy a see through shirt for Offroad. They could, but fans can only look. Another recent jealousy example here!

Talking about each other! They talk a lot about each other. Good things but sometimes things can also get sad. I will start here around the time Daou posted that he had to go into the army (he had to enlist 1 November 2022). Offroad commented and said "Eat well. I wish you luck, no suffering, no call, no disease. 👏❤️ Send your heart to me. I love you so much. I will do my best here. Let's go". The last day before Daou's enlistment a podcast was posted by The Modernist with the Laz1 boys. There was also a written version and let me copy a part. One question that was asked was "Choose one person and tell him your innermost feelings".

Offroad: But if I want to talk to another person who is very special, that is, I want to talk about P'Wu. Because he was the only person in the group who saw me from the beginning. I want to say that my place is like this. What I want to say is that I want him to see that I'm getting better. (Crying so much that he couldn't breathe) I wanted to tell him that. I have been with him for a long time and he is another person who has fulfilled me to be here as well.

Offroad has said a couple times before that he felt like he was a burden to Daou because he felt like he wasn't good enough.

During the last day they also had last fanmeet. And when Daou grabbed the microphone to talk he put his arm around Offroad's shoulder. And then when he started talking Offroad broke down (video linked there).

And here someone made a tiktok about the enlistment.

They had to work in pairs after the first round in Lazicon and Daou picked Offroad.

Special person talk during EMF fandom live today.

Couple rings! Daou lied to Offroad and said his fanclub wanted to buy a ring so they needed Offroad's ring size. Turned out Daou wanted to buy couple rings. A fan found out it were Cartier rings worth 1500 euro's each. And Daou isn't even rich. During EMF fandom live today there was more couple rings talk.

This was for an interview with Mint Magazine. Full trans for the interview here. As a long term fan I was confused by their answer because for me it's always been a 10. Not sure how it could have gotten more.

Daou talking about how in BL series the characters at least have to love each other but that they don't have to force themselves since they already have a close relationship. Full interview here and you can use google trans on the webpage.

Couple song! Last part. Daou and Offroad's fandom name is Nubdao and they have a song called Nubdao which was written by them and which is about each other. Nubdao means counting the stars.

Translation of this song in a comment here

Edit: Since we have new people joining the fandom and not so nice comments have been made let me throw in a part of a interview they did for MayaTV this year as well some older statements made.

More than just a 'Ship'

Credit: yourstar_94

[silvertsundere]

Silver Talks AniManga (14/04/24)

suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuper late post this week, not only cause I started a buncha new stuff but I was also traveling on the weekend which cut off a ton of my free time (imas could've been last week but subs were late for a whole week 😒) also GBC and BA might not be on the corresponding sunday post for the ep that aired that week cause of their sub situation. Should be fine for GBC, but I ain't putting up with terrible subs for BA so I'd rather wait a couple days for better ones (even if I could watch the bad ones and understand it no problem)

but anyway, lots of yappin this time around, next week should be a lot more chill

green - new series/new to me blue - finale/completed

Anime

Girls Band Cry Ep1-2

this one is quite the ride for me. when it first got announced I was gonna watch it cause nari is the character designer and I love their art and it's a cute girls show. then it was revealed it was gonna be cg and I changed my mind. then the ep came out and people were praising it so I was like, "ok maybe I could watch despite it being cg". but then I saw a clip where it looked really bad so I was like "oh ok I was right not to watch it nvm" BUT THEN I saw a different clip that looked super good so after some deliberation I decided to watch it anyway and it turns out it's actually REALLY GOOD? like if every cg show was this level of quality I wouldn't be such a hater the op and ed(s) were really good too but they better be when it's a show about a band lol. the real ed (the one from ep2) has all the art done by nari which is super cool ep 2 was really good too, ep 1 had already convinced me to watch all of it, but still nice to see 2 being good as well

The Idolmaster Shiny Colours Ep1-2

while I was watcing GBC I was thinking "man the cg being this good is gonna make SC look even worse" and sadly I was right. Now, it's not terrible mind you but just like the ML anime, coming in the heels of something like the U149 anime which not only was traditionally animated but also had incredible direction with the quality art to back it up, it feels very bland. Luckily for it, it has the imas spice and, repeat it after me, I Am Not Immune To Idols. It's amazing how they get my ass every damn time... It's a shame that my lantica girls already had their episode so early since they're my favourites of the launch units but I'm sure they'll get at least one more at some point, along with a little more screentime every now and then like the others did on ep2 but anyway Ep1 was basically teasing the different units while introducing mano and getting her together with the other two. While ep2 was mostly about lantica with some small bits with the other groups spliced in. After ep1 I thought they weren't going to follow the usual formula of dedicating 1 episode per girl and/or unit but after 2 I'm not sure anymore. There's only 12 eps so if they do 1 ep per unit, while having little bits for the other ones, that would take us up to ep 5/12. We already know that there's gonna be a s2 with straylight and noctchill so we know they're not gonna show up in this season. I guess they could do a wing episode for each of the units which would put us up to 9/12 leaving the remaining episodes for big group episodes with everyone but we'll see.. Also speaking of s2, there's still 2 more units that weren't confirmed for it and since this s1 has 4 units you think it'd make sense for s2 to have 4 units as well. However the 2 units that haven't been confirmed are related to each other, in a way, so I could totally see them doing a s3 with just those units, since I don't think they'll introduce another unit any time soon. But anyway I'm starting to ramble and talking too much about meta. TL;DR: show shouldn't be cg and bandai can damn well afford a traditional show but they're greedy. other than that it's good ofc. like I said with ML, if you like any of the imas anime you'll like this. if you like the game/girls you'll like it as well

Jellyfish Can't Swim in the Night Ep1-2

this got announced around the same time as GBC and I posted about it as well. I was going to watch it just because it was a dogakobo original and I like the studio and it seemed like a nice cute girls show. As the season came closer I wasn't sure about watching it anymore but was thinking of giving it the good ol 3 episode rule just out of respect to dogakobo. When it did start, something had happened that caused me to change my mind and decide that I wasn't going to watch it. I don't remember what it was anymore but anyway. However my buddy mega did watch it and said it was really good so I decided to give it a shot like originally planned and... it's really good too. The mains being takarie and mikku is a rare combo but very welcome and the show also has that characteristic dogakobo polish to it and the direction is very good as well. I also appreciate the yuri vibes but I'm me so yknow ep 2 was nice as well, both the op and ed are good, and kimura might be a little freak but she's fun. I guess the next episode will be dedicated to the vtuber girl but we'll see

Kaiju 8 Ep1

that was a solid first ep, there wasn't anything too impressive to show off so I guess we'll see how it goes in the next episode, but it looked good enough that I'm not too worried about it. shame it's only 1 cour but I'm sure they're planning on adapting it all since the manga is almost over too it'll be nice revisiting these early parts of the story, it wasn't that long ago that I caught up but it's been long enough because it's not weekly that I don't remember the early parts with that much clarity but yeah, ep was nice, good voices, good music, good art (for the most part I thought some shots of mina looked off) and the animation wasn't bad either. if they keep up this quality until the end it'll be a respectable adaptation but I hope they at least give us some sakuga crumbs during the big iconic scenes

Manga

Astro Royale Ch1

tokyo revengers' wakui ken as left kodansha to come to shueisha with this new series and you can really tell it's the work of a veteran author I didn't know what to expect since I never read/watched TR, outside of seeing some clips and caps here and there, but this was actually really good. the setting and the characters were all set up very well, along with the main trigger that sets off the story. really great use of spread pages as well I've been saying for ages that wsj needs a new hit with some of their biggest hitters ending soon and they seem to think so too since no recent series have really popped off (except kagurabachi [the power of memes]) so they decided to grab another veteran (there's a bunch more in the mag currently). We'll have to see the next handful of chaps but just from this debut I can see this series having the potential to be a hit for sure. I've been doing this long enough that I got a pretty good intuition for this kinda stuff, tho there's always exceptions like me thinking red hood would last and that nue would get axed but I'm usually right for the most part.. anyway the series seems like it'll be fun so looking forward to it, I know people complain that TR went downhill after a certain point but this isn't TR so no point comparing this to it on chapter 1. just trust that the author learned his lesson from whatever went wrong with TR and enjoy the series for what it is, not like it's a sequel or something

Two on Ice Ch28 (Finale)

well that's over and I don't really got much to say tbh I don't really care about skating so I wasn't interested in this from the beggining and the artist didn't do a great job showing it off either. it was informative but not engaging. there were a few good panels/pages but a lot of big spreads got wasted with tons of expostion instead of showing off the art. I also didn't care about the "villain" at all despite how much the artist loved and pushed him still not one of the worst things I've read on jump that's for sure, just not for me and not interesting enough for me to change my mind and care about. an opposite example of this would be blue box which is a romance series and I thought I wouldn't like it when I started catching up to it and ended up loving it cause it's a lot more engaging

[woodchoc-magnum]

just curious, what about criminal minds upset you so much? i know what almost got me to stop watching at one point.

lol it's kind of a long, boring story

So I got into it really early on; started watching from when Season 1 was airing on TV, joined the LiveJournal fandom probably... during season 2/3, started writing fanfic, shipped Hotch/Prentiss. I was a moderator on the Hotch LJ page for a long time and had a group of friends on LJ, we all loved Hotch the most and I think we all shipped Hotch/Prentiss.

CM was a weird show because the start and ends of the episode would have the character development stuff, but the middle was all about the cases - from memory (I haven't seen an episode since... 2014/15 probably) in the earlier seasons, it was pretty light on character development. You vaguely knew what was going on with the characters outside of work but it wasn't like 911 where there was a balance between work stuff/non-work stuff.

ANYWAY the reason I mention that is because at the time any H/P crumbs were literally crumbs, and I don't think I ever believed that they would go canon (and they didn't).

SO. I was super into the show in seasons 3, 4 and 5, very active in the fandom on LJ, writing fanfic etc. I sort of pinpoint a change in the show at the 100th episode - they built up to it, it was this HUGE thing (I even took a sick day from work so I could stay home, download and watch it) and then... idk. For me, after that, the show wasn't the same but I can't really explain why.

Then in Season 6, they decided to fuck with the formula. They fired Paget Brewster and AJ Cook; they "killed off" Prentiss and sent JJ away and brought in a new blonde FBI agent who was supposed to take their place (this was also around the time they made the first spin-off).

So for me, someone whose favourite characters were Hotch and Prentiss, that was a huge slap in the face. It also felt like the show was very anti-women in general and that the female characters on the show were just interchangeable. There was a huge backlash against it on LJ at the time and it honestly really soured the entire show for me from that point.

I sort of dipped out of the fandom but I kept watching, through the Jeanne Tripplehorn season and the Jennifer Love Hewitt season, but what was really pissing me off at the time was just... the constant, never-ending episodes about women being raped, tortured and murdered. It just felt like it was every single episode, and I was already burnt out on the show but sort of watching it out of obligation, because I still loved Hotch.

And then Thomas Gibson turned out to be a total fucking dick IRL, he got caught out cheating on his wife with a fan and made this super cringey hot tub video that was fucking gross, and then he punched the producer on set or something and got fired (I can't remember in what order that happened though). As soon as that happened, I went, oh, I'm free. I don't have to watch this shit anymore. I think that was right at the end of Season 9, and so I just stopped watching instantly and never went back to it.

And they literally brought Prentiss back to replace him. It was just like, fucking salt in the wound. The whole thing still makes me angry - not TG getting fired, but just the way the show treated the female characters from Season 6 onwards. It was so fucking shitty and there was no good reason to fire either of them - they ended up bringing AJ Cook back super quickly because they knew they fucked up.

Anyway, 911 is the only "procedural" style show I still watch and I don't consider it a procedural in the traditional sense (there's more emphasis on the personal lives than the work stuff, which I like). I will not watch any other police/fire/medical procedural shows, I'm just not interested. CM really burned my bridges on those.

I still think the earlier seasons of CM were probably pretty good and I have considered rewatching Seasons 1 to 4, or even to the 100th episode again, but... I see clips of it now occasionally and I'm still cringing? So I'm probably not there yet. And I've seen clips of the new season that literally make my skin crawl with how stilted the acting is and how cheap the whole thing seems to be, and I feel like I made the right choice in staying away from it.

(I also absolutely grew to hate MGG/Reid as the show progressed, so yeah.)

In conclusion, I hate it and have no good feelings left towards it. Paget Brewster has always deserved better than CM.

[chloeworships]

Quick Updates

Hi babes...

#1. I was shown a racist. I am not sure of the identity of the person but my God is he going to get in some trouble. UPDATE: HE HAS A SOCIAL MEDIA PLATFORM.

#2. I was shown "C h r i s t m a s" - again something good is going to be happening during the holiday season 🎄

#3. I saw the last name "JAMES" on the back of a jersey. It was curved. I found out that Lebron's son Bronny James was selected to play with him on the Lakers. Congratulations!!!

#4. I was shown the word "f a i t h" on a green background. God wants us to continue to have faith regarding our health and finances 💲

#5. I was also shown "VICTORY"... I love that the LORD keeps showing us this word. Don't forget it. He's confirming to you what he has already said. When you are a child of God, the victory has already been won. Everything including the twists and turns are meant to lead us to God's glory. Align with his will and your faith will increase.

#6. I saw the number "7" in red. It was HUGEEEEEE and it came towards me in a special font. Again not sure what that means. Seven is one of the LORD’s favourite numbers. Could something be happening in 7 days, 7 weeks, 7 months or July. The number looked like a 7 on playing cards 🃏

#7. Someone's husband was delivered from homosexuality. This is your confirmation.

#8. I saw a being who appeared as a Black man...he looked as though he was from Ethiopia or Somalia. He has shown himself to me three times. Twice he has appeared (in my dreams) with a sign in his hand that has the name "MARC" written on it. Marc with a C. I could not recall what he was trying to tell me but whoever Marc is, he will find out.

#9. I had a dream where I was shown font's in a different language. They looked like the font below. I have no idea what this means. This looked like a CODE.

#10. I had a dream where I saw a Transformer behind smoke or dust. It reminded me of the a scene in Transformers. I am will try to find a clip and post it. Know this is Archangel Michael. YES, he is coming to help on the ground. Not entirely sure where, but he has ARRIVED. I love Michael 🥲🥰😘😬😇 I know it’s him because I had a dream prior with a heart drawn with a finger on a mirror 🪞🫶🏾 then I found the image below.

SN: For those who don’t know, right before God called me to do this work, AA Michael visited me in a dream. He took me to outer space beside Earth and he gave me a prophecy. Earth looks GORGEOUS btw. I was stunned 🤩 He showed up looking like Optimus Prime. Different voice but the exact appearance.

I have always known the transformers were loosely based on Angels and Demons so to see him show up as Prime was God’s way of confirming that he knew of how I identified them.

I also loved the transformers since I was a young girl 🥰 watching cartoons. I never ever forgot this encounter and neither the prophecy which (to my dismay) was grim 😖 So when the LORD shows me transformers and depending on the eye colour, I know what he’s trying to communicate to me. It always involves the military 🪖 and confirmation that God is with you (US) 😇🪽 an auspicious sign indeed.

[bri1234]

My Favorite Quotes from the Halloween Heists

I rewatched the 8 Brooklyn Nine-Nine Halloween Heists to find the funniest/best quotes!

Season 1 - Episode 6: Halloween I

Holt: Where did you get those birds?

Jake: By using my big fat brain!

Season 2 - Episode 4: Halloween II

Jake: Those guys at the impound. Did they really smash my car?

Holt: No. In fact, I had them wash it.

Jake: Ha. Good one, Captain. You can't "wash" a car.

Season 3 - Episode 5: Halloween III

*wailing at Boyle’s cockroaches*

Gina: If I die, turn my tweets into a book!!!

Season 4 - Episode 5: Halloween IV

Hitchcock: Attention, everyone.

Rosa: Enough. We know. The heist is happening.

Hitchcock: No, my ex-wife just died. No more alimony, baby!

Season 5 - Episode 4: HalloVeen

Holt: You’re not Cheddar, you’re just some common bitch.

Season 6 - Episode 16: Cinco de Mayo

Captain Holt: She's making it up. The pregnancy scam was my idea. Jake: No. No, no, no, no, Amy. Wait, is that true? Did you just lie to me about our baby? Charles: Yeah, did you lie to us about our baby?

-----

Captain Holt: How many cummerbunds are you holding right now? Zero. It's one bund to none, son!

Season 7 - Episode 11: Valloweaster

Amy: Sorry, sir, that no one wants to bone your dusty old skeleton.

-----

Captain Holt: Is this about the surveillance system I set up in your apartment? [flashback to Holt watching Jake and Amy in bed on a monitor] Captain Holt: Sleep, sleep, you ugly morons.

Season 8 - Episode 9: The Last Day

Jake: So the heist is actually going to be the perfect goodbye.

Amy: What does that mean?

Jake: Drama, glamor, shocking twists and turns. And the whole heist ends up with everyone at the Brooklyn Bridge.

Amy: Is that meaningful? Have we ever been there together as a squad?

Jake: Uh, yeah.

[theme music plays over clip from opening credits]

Jake: I'm not sure why we all looked so intense, we were just getting falafel.

Amy: I mean, that falafel stand is really good.

Jake: True that, yeah.

—————

Holt: Well, your intel is of no use since we’re locked in here. Unless… you smash your gigantic body through the wall.

Terry: I AM NOT THE KOOL-AID MAN!!!

Obviously, there are so many more funny quotes from this show. I just love these 😁

If there are any other quotes that you found funny in these episodes, feel free to drop them in the comments!

[feelingofcontent]

DNP Rewatch: I Got Catfished.

Date video was published: 10/14/2021 (X)

DNP Main Channel Rewatch: 447

A Phil story he had never mentioned at all before!

0:00 - just jumping right into it. I mean the title was already quite the surprise and hook. also I love his shirt

0:11 - the annotations! and that old Phil photo

0:24 - oh god the MySpace flashbacks that this video gives me

0:30 - cackling 😂

0:40 - those were some surprisingly normal air-quotes

0:51 - “ah. what a wonderful time” I love Phil

0:56 - someone did once comment during a live show that ‘snow dude’ was the original catfish

1:03 - wow that is quite the set of old photos. I do admire his dedication to decide to “be” someone and then actually do it

1:27 - almost did a spit take during my first watch of this at this point. Dan mention out of NOWHERE. also this particular comment that Phil liked... 🥺

1:41 - “just a dusting of gay” ... “we could make our own gif” I love this whole bit

1:54 - lol at him knowing what specific picture it was!

2:20 - just changed the name there from “Jake” to “Luke” within less than a minute

2:25 - more excellent annotation additions. he really had fun with those throughout his 2021 videos

2:46 - “I can be an eager guy” aww, Phil

3:01 - the sexy music! Phil must have thought “Luke” was the eager one

3:13 - so many questionable things that he ignored

3:36 - “compliments still stick with me, guys” 🥺

3:53 - the “i’m actually a massive gay” annotation 😂 king of comedy Phil

4:00 - Phil seems to remember a lot of specifics about this story

4:04 - oh yikes

4:25 - the contrast of this to the 4-hour skype calls DNP had in 2009

5:01 - very gullible young Phil. at least he realized something was up...although not enough to stop him from going to meet the guy later 😱

5:34 - awww 😕 Phil is putting more of his feelings into the story than sometimes when he’s told stories about his past

5:48 - “I need at least three weeks...” I feel that. I cannot do last minute plans that involve seeing people

6:08 - I mean at least he went for a public location

6:24 - wonder how much he felt this same worry meeting Dan in person for the first time

6:35 - ah yes, a mall food court. many teenage memories I’d like to forget about

6:50 - poor Kath 😂 I’m surprised Phil told her exactly what he was doing, actually; not sure I would have told my parents the truth in that situation

7:08 - Phil boob grab!

7:43 - how strange but nothing compared to how recognizable he would become

7:50 - was just terrified of a stranger...decides to talk to and hang out with two strangers...alrighty

7:57 - lol at his picture editing here

8:06 - DITL clip! and “fetus Dan and Phil” mention. I was so suspicious of this at the time what with them having just filmed up in Phil’s hometown.

8:32 - dun dun dun. plot twist!

8:40 - yeah how would you even react to that

9:18 - “like a villain from Scooby Doo” what a perfect description

9:41 - but that is still creepy. especially the asking to meet part. yikes

10:05 - Phil is almost being too nice about this

10:24 - yeah trying to get away as soon as possible seems like the right move at that point

10:43 - no Phil...definitely no

11:18 - “it’s not the weirdest thing that’s happened to me because of the internet” well yeah I guess he can say that...and then another Dan mention in the next sentence

11:36 - aww a nice message here at the end

12:02 - he had released this merch earlier in the month, but this was the first mention in a video

12:30 - Phil had just started posting Shorts, starting on National Coming Out Day. that “beep tour” is still one of my favorites

12:34 - he flipped the image here for some reason? maybe to match the short? or because he pointed the wrong way?

12:55 - yeah standing and showing the socks doesn’t seem like a good plan...

I love this video. Phil is such a great storyteller and it had been a while since he did a full-length one like this. Also the contrast of this story that really didn’t work out, to the little Dan mentions and the implication that eventually meeting someone off the internet really really did.

[d-criss-news]

20 Questions With Darren Criss: How Acting Has Helped Him Make New Music

While Darren Criss has graced our TV screens with a range of characters, from high schooler Blaine Anderson on Glee to serial killer Andrew Cunanan on The Assassination of Gianni Versace, he was last spotted just being himself, on our For You Page on TikTok. “I’m walking to rehearsal with a guitar on my back with a Trader Joe’s bag ... I did not bring an umbrella because I forgot that it was raining. I’m rocking that NYC musician life,” the Glee alum explained in the hilarious clip posted three days ago.

While Criss’ acting work has earned him acclaim and stardom, he leaned into making music during the pandemic. On Aug. 20, he dropped a new EP, Masquerade, featuring five new tracks that Criss says were inspired by the different characters Criss has embraced throughout his career. After Criss wrote songs for his musical comedy web series Royalties and Apple TV+’s animated sitcom Central Park before the pandemic struck the United States, he then used those experiences as a precursor to his new EP. As Criss continues to promote his new music, he answered 20 of Billboard's questions – giving us a peek into how his new EP came together, and how growing up in San Fransisco shaped him as an actor, singer and all-around artist.

1. What inspired your latest project, Masquerade?

Although I would have preferred that it come at a far less grim cost, I finally had the time. Before the pandemic, I had written 10 new songs for my show Royalties -- along with an original song for Disney and another for Apple’s Central Park. These were all assignments in which I was writing for a certain scenario and character. Go figure. It was the most music I had ever written in a calendar year. This really emboldened me to rethink how I made my own music— to start putting a focus on “character creation” in my songs, rather than personal reflection. The latter was not proving to be as productive. The alchemy of having this time and having set a new intention with my own songwriting and producing made me put on a few of my favorite masques and throw myself a Masquerade.

2. How do you think your background as an actor complements your music?

They are one and the same to me. I treat acting roles like musical pieces— dialogue is like scoring a melody; there’s pace, dynamics, cadence, tone. Physical characterization is like producing -- zeroing in on the bass line, deciding on the kick pattern. Vocal characterization is like choosing the right sonic experience, choosing the most effective snare sound, and mixing the high end or low end. It goes without saying that it works in the complete opposite direction. Making each song is taking on a different role literally and employing the use of different masques to maximize the effectiveness of the particular story being told.

3. On Instagram  you wrote that “Masquerade is a small collection of the variety of musical masques that have always inspired me.” Which track do you identify with most in your real life?

Everybody absorbs songs differently. Some key into the lyrics, some into the melody, some the production, some into vocal performance. When I listen to songs, I consider all of their value on totally different scales. So it’s hard to say if there’s any track I “identify” with more than any others, since I -- by nature -- identify with all of them. I think I just identify with certain aspects more than others. If it helps for a more interesting answer, I will say I enjoy the slightly more classical, playful -- dare I say -- more Broadway-leaning wordplay of “Walk of Shame,” but that’s just talking about lyricism. I enjoy the attitude of “F*kn Around,” the batsh--t musicality of “I Can’t Dance,” the relentless grooves of “Let’s” and “For A Night Like This.” All have different ingredients I really enjoy having an excuse to dive into.

4. What’s the first piece of music that you bought for yourself, and what was the medium?

Beatles audio cassettes: “Help” and “Hard Day’s Night.” I just listened on repeat on a tape-playing Walkman until my brother and I got a stereo for our room with a CD player in it, which was  when I just bought the same two albums again, but this time as compact discs.

5. What was the first concert you saw?It’s hard to say, because my parents took us to a lot of classical concerts when we were small. But I guess this question usually refers to what was the first concert you went to on your own volition, and that my friend, was definitely Warped Tour ’01. My brother and I went on our own— two teenagers going to their first music festival, in the golden age of that particular genre and culture. It was f--king incredible.

6. What did your parents do for a living when you were a kid?

My dad was in private banking and advised really, really wealthy people on how to handle their money. My mom was, by choice, a stay-at-home mom, but in reality, she was my dad’s consigliere. They discussed absolutely everything together. They were a real team, and I saw that every single day in the house. They both had a background in finance (That’s how they met in the first place.) and were incredibly skilled at all the hardcore adulting things that I absolutely suck at. They were total finance wizards together. So of course, instead of becoming an accountant, I picked up playing the guitar and ran as far I could with it. Luckily, they were all about it.

7. What was your favorite homecooked meal growing up?

My dad was an incredible chef. For special occasions, I’d request his crab cakes. They were unreal. I’ve never had a crab cake anywhere in the world that was good as my dad’s.

8. Who made you realize you could be an artist full-time?

I don’t know if I’ve actually realized that yet.

9. What’s at the top of your professional bucket list?

The specifics change every day, but the core idea at the top is to continue being consistently inconsistent with my choices, and to keep getting audiences to constantly reconsider their consideration of me. But I mean, sure, what performer doesn’t want to play Coachella? What songwriter doesn’t want to have Adele sing one of their songs? What actor doesn’t want to be in a Wes Anderson film?

10.  How did your hometown/city shape who you are?

San Francisco. I mean, come on. I was really lucky. The older I get, the more grateful I am for just being born and raised there. It’s an incredibly diverse, culturally rich, colorful, inclusive, vibrant city. By the time I was born, it had served as a beacon for millions of creative, out-of-the-box thinkers to gather and thrive. I grew up around that. The combination of that with having parents, who were unbelievably supportive of the arts themselves, laid an incredibly fortunate foundation to consider the life of an artist as a legitimately viable option. It’s a foundation that I am supremely aware is not the case for millions of young artists around the world. I was absurdly lucky.

11.  What’s the last song you listened to?

I mean probably one of mine, but not by choice. I know, lame. But I’m promoting a new EP, what’d you expect? But if you wanna know what I’ve been listening to, as far as new s--t is concerned: a lot of Lizzy McAlpine, Remi Wolf, and Charlie Burg.

12.  If you could see any artist in concert, dead or alive, who would it be?

The Beatles is an obvious "yeah, duh." Sammy Davis, Mel Tormé, or of course, Nat King Cole. I would’ve loved to see Howard Ashman give a lecture on his creative process and his body of work.

13. What’s the wildest thing you’ve seen happen in the crowd of one of your sets?

I feel like just having a crowd at all, at any one of my sets, is pretty wild enough.

14. What’s your karaoke go-to?

The real answer to this I’ll write into a book one day, because I have a lot to say about karaoke etiquette. I have two options here: I can either name a song that I like to sing for me, for fun, or I can name a song that really gets the group going. The answer depends on what kind of karaoke night we’re dealing with here. So I will say, after I’ve selected a ton of songs that services a decent enough party vibe for everyone else, then I would do one for me, and that would be the Beatles’ “Oh! Darling.”

15. What’s one thing your most devoted fans don’t know about you?

What I have up my sleeve.

16. What TV show did you binge-watch over the past year?

Dave is a stroke of genius. There are episodes that I believe are bona fide masterpieces. Also, My Brilliant Friend is a masterclass in cinematic television.

17. What movie, or song, always makes you cry?

It’s A Wonderful Life.

18. What’s one piece of advice you would give to your younger self?

Get used to sharing everything about yourself and your life now, or more astutely, to the idea that you don’t necessarily get to control how your life is shared. I know it’s not really your thing, but you’re gonna have to get used to it, so start building up those calluses now. And don’t worry, all the stuff you love now will be cool again in your mid-thirties, so keep some of those clothes because you’ll be a full-blown fashion icon if you just keep wearing exactly what you’re wearing. Oh nd also, put money into Apple and Facebook.

19.  What new hobby did you take on in the last year?

I’ve always been a linguaphile. My idea of leisure time is getting to study or review other languages. This past year, I took the time to finally dive into learning how to read, write, and speak Japanese. Other than making music, it was one of the biggest components of my 2020-2021.

20. What do you hope to accomplish or experience by the end of 2021?

I hope I get to play live shows again.

[creatureofmystry]

MLB x DC Universe Headcannons

I just love the idea of MLB and DC (expecially Batfam cuz Mari is such a Wayne) being in the same universe and crossing over. So one night, I just had an idea overload of different ways the Marinette would know the batfam/be a part of the DC universe. And if any of my shitty ideas somehow inspire or prompt you, then please be my guest. 😊 _

1) “Ladybugs of Past and Present”

Hippolyta, Wonder Woman’s mother, was once a previous holder of the ladybug miraculous. When Fu activated the miraculous and put them in circulation, Hippolyta could feel its magic waking back up. Knowing there must a reason for it to be out, she sent a message to her daughter. Diana searched, finding Marinette and Adrien as the present holders of the ladybug and cat miraculous. She vouched and brought them into the Young Justice program while they also made their own team, Project: Zodiac (or something like that).

[Sometime when Diana takes Marinette to meet Hippolyta]

“Great Hera, Tikki, you have not aged a day” -Hippolyta, cause she does know how to make joke. 

“And I would say the same to you” -Tikki

“Mother, you can make a laugh?” -Wonder Woman, honestly a bit confused cause her mom have never not been serious before.

And Marinette is just speechless cause she’s starstruck meeting Wonder Woman’s mom AND a previous Ladybug holder.

_

2) “Rockstar Niece”

Jagged Stone is Marinette’s Sweet Uncle J. During the summers, Jagged Stone would take Mari with him on tour. HIs summer tours are throughout America, so Mari gets to sightsee the country. Jagged’s first tour that he gets to take Mari on (5-ish), he’s also booked for the annual (for whatever reason) Wayne Summer Gala. When Marinette meets the Waynes, they are so enamoured (Dick and Tim couldn’t help it) that they tell Jagged he’s always invited as a guest, Mari of course being added to the permanent guest list too. About 6 years later, Mari is practically adopted, spending the first half of her summers with Jagged, going to the Wayne Gala, then spending the rest of her summer with the Waynes. Overtime, she figured out the secrets of the family and was there to welcome Jason back from the dead (when that happens). Anyways, now 11(-ish?) Mari meets Damian and the two become good friends… after an… impressionable first meeting.

“Tch, let me guess, you’re another one of father’s adopted strays” -Dami

“YOU MUST BE DAMIAN!!! DICK TOLD ME ABOUT YOU!!” -Marinette, who just ignores what he said for a hug.

“hiiiiiiiiissssssss” -Dami, touchy with touch

“...” sprays water in his face since he decided to act like a cat.

“I say, Master Bruce, the children are getting along quite well” -Alfred

_

3) “Pen Pals” 

Jon Kent and Marinette Dupain-Cheng are part of an international pen-pal program, starting when they were very young (maybe like 4 or 5-ish, super super young) where they told each other everything (Jon can’t just say that his older bro is a clone made from Superman and Lex Luthor’s DNA, or that his dad is Superman, or that his best friend is Robin, but yea. Lois and Clark probably proofread his stuff until he’s like 9) with pictures and everything. When they’re old enough to get phones & stuff, they call, text and vid-chat along with their letters (love without blood). When Mari is maybe 9-11 (somewhere around there) she starts flying over during the summers to hangout with Jon (and his friends and big brother). While there, she meets Kon, Bat fam, and Clark (some who she already knew, some who she didn’t) & lightly hints that she knows who all they are once she figures it out (it didn’t take her long to do so). 

Now whenever she visits and is at Wayne Manor (Jon likes to have sleepovers practically every weekend) while they’re on patrol, Mari subtly messes with their minds (super subtle, they’re the world’s best detectives after all) until they finally look through the cams and see Mari giving them one of those smiles (those shit-grinning cause it’s just so hilarious how it’s gone on for so long) & and a playful wink. 

[5 seconds later]

“Mari!” “Pixie-pop!” “Angel!” “Teacup!”

“Seriously, am I the only one with a normal nickname for her?” -Tim

“Ms. Marinette would like to inform you that ‘it took you long enough’” -Alfred (who so knows that the girl has been playing them since the third night she stayed at the Wayne’s)

“Where are my adoption papers?” -Bruce (who is seriously adopting any talented black-haired child)

_

4) “Mari and Mar’i” 

When Mar’i is young, Dick and Kori take her with them to see Paris (btw, this would be during the winter). They’re strolling along through a park and lose track of Mar’i who finds Marinette (9-10 ish). Marinette comforts and distracts Mar’i while noticing the young(er) girl is Tameranian (her hair is very warm and she’s wearing significantly less layers than should be worn for a human of that age during the winter, plus that sun-kissed skin tone. She’s seen Kori in her fashion magazines (and, from time to time, on the news as an ambassador) so she easily make the connections). Dick and Kori finally spot Mar’i with Mari who introduces herself to them. Mar’i asks if she can see her “Auntinette” again and Marinette just goes “if your parents are okay with it.” Dick and Kori are totally cool with it (not many are willing to watch her and have the time to do it) so they ask Marinette if she can babysit Mar’i whenever (with good pay of course) if she’s up to it (cause she’s still pretty young). Marinette can’t say no to Mar’i’s babydoll eyes (and she’s so much easier compared to Manon, who’s only 2 rn), so of course, she says yes. 

Now Marinette is Mar’is official babysitter and sees Mar’i often whenever her parents drop her off (using zeta tubes to quickly get to Paris and back). Marinette gets treated like an honorary Wayne (cause she’s the most responsible) and gets invited to their family stuff (w/ travel pay taken care of, of course). It doesn’t take her long to realize the fact that she babysits Bruce Wayne’s & BATMAN’S granddaughter, but of course, being the responsible one she is, keeps the secret… while also playing with them via Mar’i.

[One Day]

After Marinette leaves for her plane…

“Uncle Dami!”

“Yes, Spawn?”

“Auntinette said to tell you after she left that Robin’s sut needs a major upgrade & that you look like a traffic light… whatever that’s supposed to mean.”

[Another Day]

“Uncle Jay!”

“What’s up kid?’

“Auntinette said that to let you know that Red Hood doesn’t make any sense ‘cause Red Hood wears a helmet. Not a hood.”

[The next time]

“Uncle Tim!”

Yawn. “yea?”

“Auntie told me to give you this” (pulls out super caffeinated coffee) “and that Red Robin’s cowl is a menace to all things fashion”

[Again…] 

“Daddy!”

“Yes, Starshine?”

“Auntienette said she’s proud of Nightwing’s costume ‘cause it’s one of the only in the batfam that isn’t an astro-city to the fashion society.”

_

5) “Marinette, the one who’s always getting chosen”

Before Mari became (becomes(?)) LB, she comes across a different powerful piece of jewelry, from a different order of guardians where her will of mind is not only her shield from being akumatized, but it is also what drives her powers. That’s right, Mari walks past a flea market and activates a GL ring. The guardians pick up on this activity and send Hal (it is his sector) to check it out. Hal finds the ring with Mari but it still needs the light of a GL to charge and fully work. 

[During the explanation]

“Look, kid-”

“Marinette.” 

“Look, kid, I just need to know why you have that ring.”

“You think I know? I was just walking through the market and all of a sudden, this possessed ring, if that’s even what this is, started following me, then zipped in front of my face til i held my hand up so it can put itself on my finger.” 

“Kid-”

“It’s MARINETTE. Get it wrong one more time and you’ll see why I don’t need a possessed piece of alien jewelry.” -Marinette, making sure you get her name right. “Besides, if I stole it, I would remember. I’m a klepto” -Marinette, probably holding his ring too at this point.

Hal obviously doesn’t want the wrath of the Dupain-Chengs (just the kid Marinette scares him enough), so he tells the guardians that JL will take care of most of Mari’s training (once they get her a lamp for her ring, of course) & has her take part in training at Mt. Justice with the Young Justice team and special training with the Bats. Mari does all this under the guise of an international student exchange program for Mari to stay with the Waynes (not yet knowing that it’s the bat fam) and attends G.A. Mari doesn’t do much, but it takes her 24-36 hours to know who EVERYONE is.

[the next week after settling in]

“Hey, Mars,” -Dick, in his Nightwing gear

“Hey, Di-is the GREATEST SHOW!” -Mari, changing the subject(… not really)

“How long did it take you?”

“Not as long as the Kryptonians…” -Mari, going off into a tangent (still trying to change the subject”

[When Marinette meets Tikki]

Back in Paris:

“Sooo… I’m getting powerful jewelry that gives me powers and a suit, needs to be recharged, and comes from some Order of the Guardians? What’s the difference between you and my ring?” -Marinette, who at this point is very confused as to why she keeps getting picked on for this kind of stuff. 

“One’s alien, one’s magic” -Tikki, hoping Mari will end it there & lowkey hates that the GL Corp. got to her first.

“They’re both non-human made energy sources” -Mari, cause once you’ve seen it once, you’ve seen it all before. 

“You can’t heal the Akuma without the miraculous, and there are more than just rings. Yours are earrings, there are hair clips, bracelets, necklaces and more” -Tikki, after having a minute to think

“Fine, only because you said they’re the only way to heal the, what was it again, akuma?”

_

6) “Their Unofficial Official Barista”

Part of Tim’s job as Co-CEO, is to make sure all the branches are running smoothly, sometimes that means he has to fly abroad to manually check in. Tim goes to Paris to check on the W.E. Paris branch. He goes to a nearby Patisserie (Tom and Sabine’s) to see a young Marinette (somewhere from 8-11) drawing in her sketchbook at the counter. She explains that her parents are at a catering event, but she’s there to man the little bakery. Tim asks for a super caffeinated coffee and Marinette makes it with ease, claiming it was on the house with how bad he looks (and how much sleep the man clearly needs). Tim begs for her knowledge and asks if she can teach his butler. Mari’s willing to show him the next time he comes, so he gets the whole fam to go (viz tubes so they don’t waste time) maybe a week later. Everyone gets their own drink (plus a free pastries) and Marinette teaches Alfred her coffee, but it’s just not the same so Tim, using the tubes, goes to get coffee from the girl whenever he can. 

Mari is horrible at getting up on time (the life of an insomniac, never getting to sleep even if you want and then barely waking up on time) that she is up super early, makes Tim his coffee (plus a croissant) and tries to go back to sleep (making her inevitably late). Tim would walk up to the pick-up counter where his cup and to-go bag is while Marinette runs out of the house to get to school. Eventually, the rest of the Batfam (as well as the Laegue, TT, and YJ) frequent the place, slowly becoming (Dami too) Mari hides it, but she knew all the batfam the first day they came and she showed Alfred how to make the coffee. When the others start making more regular appearances, she learns the identities of YJ team, WW, GLs, and others. Obviously when LB and CN appear as heroes with HM as their villain, they immediately reach out to help. Because 1. Batfam clearly notices that it’s Mari and they sure as heck won’t let her deal with that by herself, and 2. The JL is worrying too much about their favorite barista (even though she’s not really one), especially with the Gigantitan scare. So, of course LB & CN (can’t make him bad everytime) get inducted into YJ.

[After Ladybug finishes defeating Gigantitan and detransforms] 

“Bean! Are you okay? You’re not hurt, are you?” -Tim, being an even more protective older brother than Dick, which shouldn’t be possible

“Yes, I promise. I’m fine” -Marinette, who just accepts the fact that she’s adopted an older brother (and his famliy)

“Tube over, we’ll have Alfred make sure” -Dick, already pulling out the medical supplies for Alfred.

“I-” 

“You shouldn’t worry your brothers like that, Marinette. Now come over so Alfred can clear you,” -Bruce, who just happens to overhear the conversation

“I’m sorry, Miss Marinette, they are very adamant that you’re in pitch perfect health before going out again,” -Alfred, who’s not actually sorry

“Fine” -Marinette, accepting her fate of her adopted, protective family. 

_

7) “Thicker Than the Blood We’ve Shed”

Why is Marinette so freakishly strong? Because she was trained to be. Before she could even talk, Mari was taught to be an assassin. She and Damian were frenemies, both competing for top spot as best in the League (of Assassins). They often spared together and became rivals who pushed each other (which sounds great in that context if you forget about the fact that they’re killing people and turning it into a competition). When Damian’s care is turned over to Batsy, Mari also comes along for the ride. She implements herself into Dami’s classes at G.A. & watches him from afar. (Damian, not being an idiot, of course knows all this and knows that it’s probably for Mari to give a report to Talia.) When he becomes Robin, Mari obviously knows, but waits to see if anything drastic would happen (his care was given to the Batfam, they had already expected this to happen.) She then heard word of the bounty Talia put on Damian’s head. Marinette knew there wouldn’t be much she could do to help, but she ave Dami a warning about the upcoming situation before fleeing the country. 

From there she got to France, changed her name (it wasn’t originally Marinette, it was Shénqí, chinese for miraculous/magical (or something else if you want)), was adopted by Tom & Sabine, and left her time in the League in the past. When she received Tikki, she didn’t want to be a hero because she didn’t think she deserved it after her up-bringing. Eventually, she did become LB (being a trained assassin does help with lucky charms, considering she was taught how to kill with basically every and anything), and life was good for her. Then Rossi came.

[Gotham field trip]

While at Wayne Tower…

“How idiotic are they?” -Damian, who after reuniting with his long-lost sister-from-a-different-mister (yes, Marinette was able to convince him to say it once), can’t understand the stupidity she has to deal with.

“Are you Robin?” -Mari, who is too tired, so just goes straight into the analogy

“Yes.” -Obvious and simply is.

“Exactly” -Mari, who can’t even put a limit to the amount of thought the one brain cell the class shares doesn’t use. I mean please, the so-called “reporter” believed that the first cosplayer she saw was the actual LB when they don’t even have the same hair! And let’s not forget the origins arc, where LB’s first citizen save was Chloe.

[blouisparadise]

Here is a list of amazing bottom Louis fics that were posted or completed during the month of January. Between the third month of the Bottom Louis Fic Fest and all the other fics that authors posted throughout the month, it’s clear that this was a great way to start off the year of bottom Louis fics!  Happy reading!

1) Leave It All Here In This Bed | Explicit | 1071 words

One of Louis’s many sleepless nights.

2) Games Are Only Fun If You Win | Explicit | 1554 words

Louis and Harry have a bet. If Louis wins that means he's off laundry duty. If he loses well.

Let's just say Harry won't be complaining.

3) If It Makes You Feel Alive | Explicit | 1691 words

Louis is horny one night on the tour bus so he and Harry fuck while trying not to get caught by the others.

4) Beg Me Silently | Explicit | 2140 words

“So, your boyfriend…is he planning a magic night for you at home?”

Louis snorts. “He’s not, actually. He’s pretty hardworking, you see, so he comes home late.”

“Such a shame.” Harry walks towards Louis, so close that they’re sharing the same space. “You’re so beautiful, Louis. If you were mine, I wouldn’t make you wait for me.”

5) Birthday Wishes | Explicit | 2895 words

Note: This is part 3 of this series.

The one where Harry takes Louis to dinner for his birthday, and gifts him with a vibrating butt plug he wears to the restaurant. Fluffy birthday sex follows.

6) New Year, New Beginnings | Explicit | 3577 words

Note: This is part 4 of this series.

The one where Louis and Harry unexpectedly end up at the same New Year's party. Louis makes Harry jealous, and Harry shows him just how bad of an idea that is.

7) Heaven In These Sheets | Explicit | 3557 words

Bunny Hybrid Louis has it out for his boyfriend’s phone.

8) Pits Of Love | Explicit | 3934 words

Harry smells Louis' sweat for the first time after they've moved in together. His alpha goes a bit wild.

9) First Blow Hits You Cold | Explicit | 3986 words

Louis wears a shirt with a big ass H on it for his livestream, and Harry really, really likes it.

10) Close Your Eyes And Surrender To Me | Explicit | 4209 words

Note: This is the sequel to this fic.

Harry hummed and pressed his lips to Louis’ forehead. “I am very stressed, but I also know you’re stressed and tired too.” He glanced to Louis’ face seeing the confirming nod. “But, if you’re sure you’re up for it.” Harry smirked, waiting for Louis to say it was okay before he laid the boy down on the bed and hovered over him. “I really love this color on you. You look so pretty. Always do.” He spoke quietly, rubbing his hands over Louis’ soft thighs and moving them to his tummy. He then moved his hands up to Louis’ hair. It had been a while since Louis’ last haircut and it was now long enough that he could tie it up in little ponytails and even little braids. Louis currently had two hair clips in his hair. One was gold with little stars on it and the other gold with a moon. “I love your hair princess. Do you feel pretty?” He asked.

11) P Is For | Explicit | 4349 words

Note: The pairing for this fic is Louis/Pedro Pascal.

Louis and Pedro, winter in New York, a coffee machine, and bilingualism.

12) Pull Out Your Heart | Explicit | 5028 words

He wants to apologise, the five letters sit on the tip of his tongue but he does not. It means nothing to either of them.

13) Loving You's the Antidote | Explicit | 5070 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest! Check out the full collection here.

Prompt 302: Alpha Harry & Omega Louis are divorced but still spend each other’s heat/rut together because they only really trust each other but things get complicated when Louis (or Harry, author’s choice) spend it with someone else. Cue angst with a happy ending.

14) Sweet Talk With A Hint Of Sin | Explicit | 5095 words

“What the hell are you wearing?” Harry had the nerve to ask, and Louis bristled slightly.

“Well, what the bloody fuck does it look like?” Louis snapped, breaking his seductive demeanor momentarily because he was wearing this ridiculous get-up for Harry. He had thought that this would go over well.

And now that the moment was here, it was going anything but.

Harry’s brain seemingly malfunctioned, completely unbothered by the fact that he was now standing in an actual pool of red wine, or that there might even be broken glass directly next to his feet. He was focused solely on his boy splayed out on their bed. “Are those ears?”

“Yes,” Louis mumbled, reaching up to finger the burnt orange fur of the fox ears. “And a tail,” he said, shifting to lay on his stomach so that his perky ass was on display, showing the way his lube slicked hole had been prepped and was now hugging the impressively sized plug attached to the fox tail.

15) New York's Beauty | Mature | 5274 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest! Check out the full collection here.

Prompt 104: AU where Harry is an alpha wolf and Louis is a hybrid kitten. They were roommates. While they were arguing about something stupid, Harry wanted to bend Louis over the kitchen table and knot him right there. He slowly accepted his feelings and extreme desire for Louis, so he started to tease the hybrid until he would beg Harry to fuck him. They fall in love.

Louis needs to feel comfortable with the camera so harry fucks him until he is blushing and calm and gentle.

16) I Went Astray To Make It Okay And He Made It Easy | Not Rated | 5537 words

Note: This is a sequel to #17 on this list.

Harry makes sure to put on his blue truckers hat that has 'if you ain't a fisherman, you ain't shit' printed on it to hold back his hair out of his eyes. He remembers when he came home after buying it and Louis went on for days about much he looked like such a Dad. He made sure to fuck him hard that night and show him that he's a fucking DILF not just a Dad. 

17) You Make My Heart Beat Like The Rain | Explicit | 6611 words

Note: This is the prequel to #16 on this list.

"You're stunning, eh?" Harry whispers, his Canadian accent thick with lust. It usually slips out when he gets horny because he knows it turns Louis on. Harry presses his lips into the curve of his neck. His hot breath makes Louis shiver. He opens his eyes and sees Harry's bigger, tattooed arms wrapped around him, completely engulfing his smaller frame—and, fuck, maybe he is up for it.

Why does his boyfriend have to be such a fucking DILF? He blames it on a twitter thread he read a few weeks ago.

18) Baby, Let Me Love You Goodbye | Explicit | 6837 words

Harry and Louis are going through a divorce after being together for 10 years, so Louis comes over to collect his things, and, well…what’s a little goodbye sex, just one last time?

19) A Place To Call Home | Mature | 8113 words

The thing is, he’s pretty sure he’s found home in a person in his life, someone who’s been essential in everything he’s done since he was seven years old. Through every broken bone, through every breakup, through every failure; through every triumph, personal and professional, and every goal he has scored in his time in Man U, there’s been someone there for it all.

That’s his best mate. Harry. A twenty-two year old with the kindest heart known to man, a slow drawl that is entirely too endearing, with the dreams to open up his own flower shop. A quiet and earnest boy with those he doesn’t know, and open and honest and absolutely lovely with those he loves.

It all hits him, really, the night of their final game of the Premier League. Again, timing is not his forté. They’re gearing up, ready to hit the field for the second half against Liverpool that determines their ranking in the League, when his brain decides to come online (after seventeen years, apparently), and conveniently supply him with the revelation that oh yeah, you’re kind of in love with your best friend.

20) To Love Without Reason | Explicit | 8854 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest! Check out the full collection here.

“Come on in, soldier,” Louis pats Harry’s chest and walks away, leaving Harry to follow behind.

Harry stands in the living room, looking around at Louis’ dwelling. Family pictures placed high on a shelf, certificates of Louis’ practice, and other trinkets that make Harry entirely too nostalgic.

“I have to warn you,” Louis says as he puts the kettle on, the water droplets from his hair trickling down the golden skin of his back. “The door jams if you lock it so you'll have to leave it ajar.”

Harry acknowledges with a soft hum, too entranced by Louis’ glistening skin to form a coherent reply.

21) It's A Game We Play In The Sheets | Explicit | 9426 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest! Check out the full collection here.

“Louis is… He’s a boy I’ve been talking to.” He bit his lip, grin evident. “After I watched one of his videos during a Harry Reacts a few weeks ago I messaged him and…”

His sentence was cut short by the sound of a timid little “Hi” being whispered into his ears.

Harry closed his eyes for a second, pausing to take in the online presence of the real-life fairy, before he opened them and smiled. “Hey Lou. Ready to play with me?”

22) One Track Mind | Explicit | 9911 words

“You have a lot of friends, huh?”

Harry nods again. “A few.” The muscles of his bicep flex under Louis’ touch, and the alpha looks a bit drunk from the feeling, his eyes blinking slower and lips quirking at the corners. He’s leaning in, his alpha scent surrounding Louis from all sides.

“Mm,” Louis hums, squeezing his fingers tight, just to hear the sharp way Harry inhales. Then, when Harry is least expecting it, Louis returns the earlier sentiment—leaning up on his tiptoes and pressing his weight into Harry for balance, drawing his lips up close to Harry’s ear, and whispering, “Why don’t you go tell them goodnight.”

23) See You When I Get Home | Explicit | 10308 words

"What are you thinking about?" He repeats Louis' question from earlier.

"You." Louis' reply comes out in a moan. It shocks Harry, and his brain scrambles for the right thing to do, the right thing to say. He doesn't even know how to feel, or if he even heard Louis correctly.

"Me?"

24) Floating | Explicit | 10435 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest! Check out the full collection here.

The one where Louis has control over water in every form but he doesn't know what to do with it. Harry is here to guide him.

25) I'm At Your Mercy Now (And I'm Ready To Begin) | Teen & Up | 10552 words

Where Louis' soulmark was leaked, Harry keeps his private. They're both famous popstars. Louis is waiting for his soulmate, Harry has a feeling it's him but Louis is completely oblivious.

26) You And I 'Till The Day We Die | Explicit | 10807 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest! Check out the full collection here.

Prompt 124: A fic inspired by Groupie Love by Lana Del Rey, where Harry is a Rockstar and Louis is his cute little boyfriend who tries to hide himself in the middle of the crowd. (Preferably set in the 80s)

27) Moonlit Sky Over Gentle Waters | Explicit | 11377 words

Harry left his hometown to sail the seven seas and returns seven years later, yearning for something — or rather, someone — that he isn't sure he can have.

28) Late Night Devil Put Your Hands On Me (And Never, Never, Ever Let Go) | Explicit | 11524 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest! Check out the full collection here.

Harry is a demon that feeds off of people’s nightmares. He finds his next meal in Louis’ dreams where he changes and molds them to become scary nightmares. Soon harry learns Louis is a lucid dreamer- he can act on his own in his dreams. They interact in the real world and have sex in the dream world. when the demon catches feelings for louis, he wants to live.

29) If You're Feeling Lonely | Explicit | 12807 words

The guest list is on the desk. Louis runs through it and stops a third of the way down, a familiar name catching his attention.

Harry Styles.

All he needs to do is confirm whether Harry Styles is the same Alpha whose scent left such a memorable impression on his body.

30) Want You To Play With Me | Explicit | 14335 words

"I'm quite not finished with you yet." Harry whispered right on the shell of his ears and squeezed the girth of his cock, making Louis shudder a sloppy puff of air as the tickling sensation ran through his spine, Harry was intoxicating. "Let me play with you a little more, Lou. I promise I'll give you what you want. Be my good boy, hm?" He slowly annunciated every word and licked a warm line on the nape of Louis' neck — Louis curled in his arms at that. Submitting himself a little bit more.

"Always wanna be your good boy." Louis whispered back and enveloped Harry's hand in his.

31) No Good Unless It's Real | Explicit | 17021 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest! Check out the full collection here.

Louis is a very busy farmer who’s just trying to make it to his next nap and Harry’s the new hot vet that’s determined to infiltrate every area of his life.

32) Tennis Court | Explicit | 18285 words

Louis and Harry are co-workers and Louis is sure Harry hates him because he always refuses to help him with his heats.

33) Joker Is Wild | Explicit | 18444 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest! Check out the full collection here.

Prompt 390: A reality show AU where Louis, Harry, Liam, Zayn and Niall are selected to stay at confined in a luxury mansion for 1 month, where they are required to have explicit, graphic sex at all times, like a porn Big Brother kind of show. Every week there are several different sexual tasks and trials that they must overcome together, which all ends in orgasms for all of them. When the boys all discover Louis is strictly a bottom, and a slutty one at that, they all can’t wait to get their hands on him. Bonus if other hot celebs are there too, like Shawn Mendes, for example. Includes lots of hard gay sex, rimming, blowjobs, gang bangs, ass worshipping (Louis ass, of course) and double penetration.

34) Baby, Let Me Love You Goodbye | Not Rated | 20249 words

Louis almost calls Harry daddy. Cue denial, feelings, and way too much dirty talk.

35) Give So Much (Not Enough) | Mature | 24610 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest! Check out the full collection here.

“For my little lion,” Louis slid the smoothie bowl in front of Oscar, letting him dig in with his little hands. “And for daddy.”

He didn’t process the bowl in front of him, the push across the table causing a raspberry to roll off and fall on his lap, because Louis calling himself mummy may make him feel all sorts of mushy emotions, but Louis addressing Harry as daddy was suddenly having a very different effect on him. Since when did Louis saying daddy out loud render him speechless?

“Daddy’s still sleepy, but we’re up bright and early right Ossie?” Louis’ cooing shook him out of his daze. The man coughed, picking the raspberry off his lap and swallowing it with unintentional, and very unnecessary, eye contact with Louis. “Well, is it better than your protein smoothies and why?”

Harry chuckled, spooning another heap of the strawberry banana goodness into his mouth, “Way better sweetheart.”

A friends to lovers au with tons of mama Louis and domesticity.

36) Short And Sweet | Explicit | 29658 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest! Check out the full collection here.

Louis is a shy university student in a world scarce of male omegas. He's always dreamt of having an alpha despite his sheltered upbringing, fantasizing about being loved and cared for. He's immediately smitten by the mysterious alpha with curly hair, broad shoulders, and the addictive coffee scent.

37) Under Thorn And Bramble | Explicit | 31931 words

Note: The pairing of this fic is Louis/OMC. This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest! Check out the full collection here.

Prompt 445: A historical AU where Louis is working as a servant on a farm. The family that owns the farm is exceedingly cruel to him and he is often exhausted and in pain from his work. A mysterious stranger boards at the farm and is very intrigued by Louis, but Louis doubts his interest in genuine. Any pairing fine.

38) Pink In The Night | Explicit | 32324 words

His finger was tapping on Louis’ chat before Harry could even think about it, eyes reading over the last text he’d sent Louis. I miss you. Do you miss me?

Harry had felt so pathetic that December night, alone in the dark room of the Japanese apartment he’d been staying at, the strong smell of alcohol clinging to his clothes.

Louis hadn’t replied, but Harry wasn’t surprised; he had texted Louis a few times before while he’d been away, but there had never been a response.

It pained him to admit that this was their new normal.

39) Coeur De Pirate | Explicit | 34207 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest! Check out the full collection here.

He tilts his chin up as the Captain strides across the deck, his footfalls falling loudly against the planks. The crew watches them from afar.

Stepping into his space, the Captain wraps an arm around Louis’ waist and pulls him in. He lowers his head to breathe his words against Louis’ cheeks. “I won,” he whispers, “I’ve come to claim my prize.”

40) If The Sun Don't Shine | Explicit | 36330 words

In a world where you meet your soulmates in dreams, Louis has spent the last three years going to bed hoping to finally meet his, only to end up disappointed time and time again. It all changes with a violin.

41) The Pirate And The Piper | Explicit | 38396 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest! Check out the full collection here.

The one where Harry is Hook, Louis is Pan, and nothing is what it seems.

42) Begged And Borrowed Time | Mature | 40198 words

Prompt 60: Time travel AU where Louis somehow gets thrown back in time and ends up in the dark ages, during the reign of the Styles family.

43) I Ain’t Gonna Fence You In | Mature | 40645 words

Louis Tomlinson is a 18 year old city boy who is forced to spend his summer before his senior year at his aunts farm. There, he meets Harry, a 19 year old country boy his aunt hired to help around the farm.

Maybe the farm isn't the worst place to fall in love?

44) Don't Want No Other Shade Of Blue | Explicit | 43285 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest! Check out the full collection here.

Prompt 339: it was foretold that Alpha Prince Harry would be mated to a beautiful male omega with eyes that could rival the stone amethyst, but Omega Prince Louis refuses to believe it.

45) No Easy Choice, But You’re Mine | Explicit | 44963 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest! Check out the full collection here.

Louis is an omega hitman with one last job that goes a little sideways. Harry is the alpha bartender that looks a little too closely and cares a little too much.

46) Sedative Duty | Explicit | 46588 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest! Check out the full collection here.

Pop-star of the moment Louis Tomlinson is on his third-world tour. He decides to hire renowned professional dominant Harry Styles to unwind while on the road. In an effort not to raise suspicion by the crew, fans, and press, Harry pretends to be his bodyguard. He ends up being far more than that.

47) Just Always Be Waiting for Me | Explicit | 46837words

Note: Please be sure to check tags for any trigger warnings.

Harry Styles is a librarian at a private school who is not very devoted to his job but is very devoted to Louis Tomlinson, the resident English teacher, and has been ever since they met six years ago beneath a lonely streetlight.

Louis Tomlinson is a self confessed bookworm whose passion for Peter Pan, the literary classics and Harry Styles' happiness knows no bounds. He's self sacrificing, somewhat self loathing and haunted by a trauma he can't talk about.

Mutual pining abounds in this fic where a Peter Pan quote is never just a Peter Pan quote, caretaking is a love language and a platonic nude is never actually platonic. Louis has a kiss that belongs to Harry but he also has a painful past that might end up hurting them both.

48) Since The Future | Explicit | 48947 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest! Check out the full collection here.

"It's done."

The words were barely above a whisper when they left Harry's mouth, but they hit Louis with the force of a freight train. It was done. Holy fuck. They had created a time machine. And tomorrow, they were travelling to the future.

49) Dirty Laundry Looks Good On You | Explicit | 50581 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest! Check out the full collection here.

When Louis Tomlinson finds his clothes lying in a sad soapy mess on top of the washing machine in which they are supposed to be, he acts upon his anger and retaliates. What he doesn’t expect is having to deal with a six-feet tall, curly-haired and dimpled man in return, who seems to arouse confusing feelings within him and to make his life take an unexpected turn for the better (or worse?).

50) Hamartia | Explicit | 66970 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest! Check out the full collection here.

Six years is a long time for Louis to mend his heart back and erase every lingering, stubborn memory of his ex-lover, Harry Styles. But when news of the war being over spreads across the world like wildfire, and he stumbles upon the alpha he vowed himself to never see ever again, he realises that not even a lifetime will be enough for him to pick up the scattered, broken parts of his soul. He's far from expecting the alpha he loved to be struggling in the same way.

All the ointments in the world might never soothe the pain out, but it doesn't take long for them both to come to the conclusion that, maybe, the only medicine to their heartbreaks are what caused them in the first place.

51) Feeling Borrowed, Always Blue | Explicit | 68214 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest! Check out the full collection here.

Louis has been dreaming of his wedding since he was young - he just never expected it to happen like this. words

52) Mind Over Matter (You Under Me) | Explicit | 73825 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest! Check out the full collection here.

It’s dark outside when Harry finishes practice for the day.

53) Rogue | Not Rated | 94992 words

Louis is a rogue Omega who's suffered through rejection and abuse for the biggest part of his life. He stumbles onto the Styles pack, quite possibly the kindness one he's ever met.

54) Chandeliers And Fake Smiles | Mature | 145010 words

On the brink of winning their first Grammy; up-and-coming rock band One Direction find themselves in the midst of the biggest scandal of their career - right before tickets for their world tour go on sale. in order to save their reputation, Louis Tomlinson must find it in his heart to forgive pop singer and heartthrob Harry Styles after his first impression rubbed him entirely the wrong way. after all, they cannot sell a relationship if it looks like they hate each other.

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

You can find other monthly roundup fic rec lists here.

[tlou-1]

Joel Miller x Reader (Home) Chapter 20

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6| Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13| Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 | Chapter 16 | Chapter 17 | Chapter 18 | Chapter 19 | Chapter 20 | Chapter 21 TBA

Chapter 20 - Joel still hasn't returned from patrol, you set off after him and what you find is beyond what you could have worried about. 

You look at the clock again, 11:15 and still Joel wasn’t back. You had been pacing the kitchen with Patrick playing at your feet, Joel was over an hour late. Another half an hour passed and you couldn’t sit in the house any longer. You picked up Patrick and made your way to Maria’s post for the day in town, “Maria it’s been two hours and none of them are back. Looks at the clouds out there, somethings wrong I can just feel it” You plead with her but she just says they have probably bunkered down with the snow, “and nothing on the radio either?” You ask, she shakes her head. Right that settled it, you turned and made your way to your sisters. Before Molly could greet you as she opened the door you began “Joel has been out since dark this morning and still isn’t back. I need you to take Patrick for me”, you try to hand him to her but she says “No”, there is a pause for a moment “No? What do you mean No, Molly I really need” but she interrupts you by grabbing a jacket and locking her door, “Because I am coming with you. We can drop him off at the day care”. 

You and Molly try to sneak into the stables to retrieve a horse each but of course Maria had you sussed and was waiting for you. “Maria I need to go out there, I know it sounds crazy but I have a bad feeling” you argue.

“You’re right, it does sound crazy“ she responds, she was always so set on rules. 

“Do you know what, maybe it does but it’s your husband out there as well. Tell me you aren’t worried about them being out there with no sleep, in a blizzard with reports of hoards of infected. I am more capable than most folk in this town and I am going out there” you say sternly close to her face and she knew you were not going to budge.

“Okay” she concedes and proceeds to pass you the reigns of the horse and your bag back filled with your gear. “I cant spare many folks to go out with you, Jesse, Dina and Ellie are already out there you can meet them at one of the posts” she explains. Jesus now your worry turned to them but your line of thought is interrupted by the radio, it was Jesse. “Maria, Tommy and Joel didn’t show to trade off” he explained. You take the radio from Maria, “Jesse its Y/N, where were they patrolling? Can you get, Ellie and Dina and meet me there?” You ask, he agrees to your plan. Your sister in laws body language had changed during the exchange.

“We need to go now” you shout to Molly as your get on your horse and take off. Behind you Molly is following and Maria had saddled up obviously now sharing in your worry. 

The wind and snow was harsh and whipped at your face as you rode ahead as fast as the horse would carry you, you must have been not far behind Ellie now. Neither Joel or Tommy’s had been at their post but their tracks had led you to a Chalet you had visited a couple of times on patrols. As you approached closer you could see more than two sets of tracks, they were disrupted slightly from the storm but there was defiantly a number of different footprints, other people were here. You had to be smart about this, the rest of the guys were still a bit behind you. You move into the building as quietly as possible and have to take out one guy standing watch at a patio door, he had a fresh cut right across his face. If anyone finds him they will know someone else is here, you had to move swiftly. As soon as enter the lodge you can hear cries of pain, guttural cries. It makes your stomach churn, you were right to have had a bad feeling. One more girl is pacing in the kitchen, you silence her by taking your small knife down on her. It had been a number of years since you had taken the life of a living person but you didn’t hesitate after hearing those cries.  

You follow the cries to a narrow staircase with a door at the bottom of it, you could feel your heart in you mouth as you took each step closer to the door. You peer through the slight crack and see a group of unfamiliar people and a figure standing above a bloody one. You take a breath remember where each person was standing, attach your silencer and pushing open the door quietly, you take out the three people closest to the door, one dead ahead the other two to your right side. You were still one of the best shots without a doubt, maybe just as good as Tommy. There were three left by the time they realised what had happened and your presence, a young man standing next to a women with cropped dark hair and a large women standing above the bloody figure, it was Joel along with Ellie and Tommy unconscious. 

The man goes to grab a pistol, lying next to the body of one of the men you just shot and without hesitation you reach round to your backpack pocket. Thank god it was still there. 

“Don’t any of you fucking move, or I will blow up everyone of us in this room” you spit out as you hold the grenade in their sight. They each stop in their tracks and the large girl standing above your husband loosens her grip on club. Joel tires to speak but barely a sound escapes his lips.

“You’re bluffing, why would y-“ she begins. 

“Try me”, you challenge her and there is a long pause “You let them go… you leave here and everyone gets to walk away from this or every single one of us just end it here”. This was madness but what other chance had you got, either way the people you loved could wind up dead, the only thing to stop these strangers was the threat of loosing their own lives and if it meant you went with them, so be it. 

“No, not him, not after what he did.” The girl lifted the club but you jump in “What ever he did, I am walking out of here with him, our daughter and that other man alive or none of us are” 

“He took everything from us! Killed my father, ruined any chance of a cure” the women says lowly shaking her head. 

“You’re fireflies?” You ask looking around at them but you already know the answer from what she had said. 

“Were. There are none, left he made sure of that. Killed most of us.” She answers. You speak without thinking, a stupid thing to do. 

“I don’t blame him… Protecting her, I would have done the same. They were going to butcher the brain of a child, our daughter for the smallest chance of cure. If that’s the price for a potential cure and humanity were so eager and willing to pay it, we didn’t deserve it. I know that much.”

She looks like she has seen red and goes to lift the club again but before she can send it crashing down one of the fireflies, the man stops her and you have pulled the pin on the grenade keeping your finger firmly pressed on the clip as he intervenes.

“Abby stop! She is going to kill all of us” he pleads with her looking between Abby and the women behind him with cropped dark hair that he called Mel. Your hand is shaking from your firm grip on the clip. 

“Are you insane?” The man asked, “When it comes to my family, yes” You reply looking down at Joel and Ellie. 

“Figures, crazy man, crazy wife” scoffs the other woman says looking between you and Joel.

“Don’t fucking touch him. I am giving you all a chance, take it. If I let go of this clip, dead or alive it only takes two seconds for this thing to go off”. You try sounding as calm as possible and it seems to pay off but inside your terrified more than you had ever been. In your head you pray, you had never prayed in your life, for them to leave, for the woman to put down the club, for them not to shoot you, for this bomb to be a dud like Joel had said but for them to not find out it was. 

You can hear commission from upstairs as the rest of the search party have caught up with you, you had bought all the time you needed. Owen grabs Mel by the arm and leaves through garage door. 

“You should go with your friends”

Abby looks torn for a moment her eyes fixed on Joel before she flings the golf club to her side and takes off, on horse back alongside her friends but you felt this part of the past would rear its ugly head again. 

As soon as it sounds clear you carefully place the pin back in the grenade and fall to the floor, guess you will never know if it was a dud or you almost killed everyone in this room. Ellie is still breathing but bruised, you look across at Tommy, the same. Your husband, you crawl across to Joel, the ground around him covered in blood you can feel it soaking your jeans. 

“Jesus, Joel can you hear me?” you say softly, tears in your eyes from the sight of him. His right eye swollen, strips of blood pouring down his face from a couple gashes he had taken on the head. You were worried to touch him in case it caused any more pain, it was hard to look at him like this.

“You got to stay with me, you cant leave me, you hear? You promised” you cry just as Maria, Jesse, Dina and Molly enter the room.

“Holy Fuck” Jesse whispers. You beg them to help Joel, Dina checks on Ellie who is starting to gain consciousness along with Tommy. 

“The storm has almost passed, Jesse and Dina find something we can make a stretcher out of. We can strap it to one of the horses and pull him back”. Maria says at her husbands side, it was the best anyone could do in the dead of winter. No one even thought about going after the remaining three strangers, what was important was the three people who each of you loved in this room.

You rode behind Jesse who’s horse is pulling Joel the entire trip, he sometimes groans or shifts and all you want to do is ask to stop and let him rest but there was no time for it, you had to get back as swiftly as possible. As soon as you arrive back in Jackson men are there to carry Joel’s stretcher into the surgery, you follow behind asking Dr Henry if he would be okay. She didn’t respond focusing solely on Joel, she tells you to stay in the hallway and when you start to protest and push forward Jesse is there pulling you back and when you stop fighting him into a hug. You finally let out a cry from everything, the horror of what you had seen, what you had almost done and at the thought of your husband’s life still hanging in the balance. Everything goes to black for a moment. 

*NOTES - I have to say I found this one pretty difficult to write so I apologise if it doesn't land as well as the other chapters. There is just so much that happens. I have decided to deviate slightly from the game, we have all seen the dark ending for Joel in the game so lets try something different 

[lady-divine-writes]

Good Omens - “At Midnight” (Rated G)

Summary:

Crowley is devastated by how smoothly the world continues on after he loses Aziraphale to the bookshop fire. Adam stops the war between Heaven and Hell, and things go back to normal for everyone... except him. Crowley goes from demon to ghoul, haunting St. James's Park every night, caught up in his memories of his angel. Until one night, he comes across something unexpected that makes things a little better... (2416 words) ... and a whole lot worse.

Read on AO3.

The hands on Aziraphale's grandfather clock have crept dangerously close to eleven by the time Crowley steps out the door of the bookshop and into the night. He's not closing up. The shop was never open. 

Not for anyone but him. 

He’d spent the day lurking in the shifting shadows, coiled around the leg of angel's favorite chair, keeping guard. 

Watching for movement. 

Praying for change.

For resolution.

He marked time by the tolling of Aziraphale's clock, the ebb and flow of the commuters outside, and a single ray of sunlight carving its path across the floor, disappearing out the window at the stroke of seven. That’s when he came out of hiding, became his demon self once again.

Crowley pops his collar against the wind and locks the door behind him. He takes one last look at the pane beneath his fingertips, running them lightly over a ridiculous note affixed to the glass. It’s a note he wrote on Aziraphale's behest, proclaiming when customers can expect the shop to open. 

The long and short of it being - don't. 

I open the shop on most weekdays about 9:30 or perhaps 10 a.m. While occasionally I open the shop as early as 8, I have been known not to open until 1, except on Tuesday...

Crowley had written it to irritate his angel - a demonic dig, as it were. But after reading it, Aziraphale couldn't have been more delighted.

"Brilliant!" he'd said. "Masterfully convoluted! Now I can finally relax and finish my crossword puzzle in peace! Thank you, my dear."

Crowley had gone warm at Aziraphale's words. He had never felt so overwhelmed by praise. 

But now, the sign makes him bitter. 

It should have long been replaced with one that reads on holiday, circling the globe, or living the happily ever after life in Mayfair with my husband.

But that wasn't in the cards for Crowley and Aziraphale. 

Crowley snaps his fingers to lower the blinds and snuff the lights, and takes off at a brisk clip to the park.

Alone.

He does this every night - haunts St. James's Park close to midnight when he'd rather be at home asleep. Crowley had planned to sleep the next seven millennia away, wait until the world started over again before he showed his face to the sun, but infuriatingly, he couldn't. It's impossible for him to get comfortable in his bed when there should be someone else beside him, sitting up and reading by his damned holy light.

Crowley never thought he'd miss that stupid light piercing his eyelids and interrupting his slumber, but he misses it more than anything.

There was nothing left for Crowley after he lost Aziraphale in the bookshop fire. 

He'd always felt that if they went their separate ways, it would sever his heart, but nothing more. He'd go on. But the assumption had been that Aziraphale would still be - exist, just not in Crowley's life.

When Aziraphale went, everything good went with him - love, hope, color, and taste all vacated Crowley's world. But Crowley was too much of a coward to call it quits and join him in oblivion, since, as far as Crowley was concerned, that was where immortal beings ended up if they were eliminated from Earth. Heaven and Hell only existed for humans. Aziraphale and Crowley were created for this world. 

For them, this was it.

He thought he would get into his car and drive, but he couldn't make himself leave. He would get as far as Kent or Surrey, then his Bentley would stop.

Whether he was the one pressing the brake or his car - it varied.

Either way, he'd take a deep breath, toss off his glasses, rub the blur from his watery eyes, and the next thing he knew, he was home.

Couldn't sleep. 

Couldn't leave. 

Couldn't escape. 

Yup. This was Hell. Undoubtedly.

Since he couldn't stay put and he couldn't run away, he spent night after night roaming the park - a ghoul shrouded in shadows of the past. Selfishly, he did everything he could to make the park inhospitable after dark, the same way Aziraphale did for his bookshop to deter customers. He made the place dreary, filled it with suspicious shadows, cold spots, and feelings of dread. In his attempt to get rid of anyone who might bother him, he unwittingly thwarted a few mugging attempts and a handful of assaults, which eliminated crime in St. James's Park for the most part. 

Otherwise, he kept to himself. 

It didn't matter to Crowley one bit that Adam had saved the planet from Heaven and Hell's blasted war. Or that, in doing so, neither side seemed interested in Crowley anymore. 

Without Aziraphale by his side, Crowley wanted none of it. 

These nightly walks, re-visiting the spots where they'd met up through time, didn't help. His memories of Aziraphale had begun to erode what was left of his soul.

His regret over the one thing he had left unsaid.

But there was a handshake exchange afoot.

His late-night trips to the park were how he noticed the light, blooming, growing on the bench smack dab in front of the duck pond.

Their bench.

A thread of silver light that lasted one solid minute from beginning to end.

It was spectacular. Unbelievable in its brilliance. Of the few souls who braved Crowley's shield of demonic influence, only Crowley seemed to notice it. And he couldn't avoid it.

It called to him.

Crowley stalked the light for over a week, never getting too close. It seemed like the kind of thing Gabriel might conjure up to trap him. Heaven may not give two shits about him, but archangels have been known to hold serious grudges.

He resisted its pull, but Crowley is a curious demon, and curiosity got the better of him. Besides, what did he care if Gabriel got the drop on him? Crowley was up for a fight, even one he might lose.

He had nothing better to do.

Crowley walked straight to the bench and sat down the moment the light appeared. He stared at it, into it, trying to sniff out its origins, what it was doing there. Being this close to it, he realized he was wrong. It didn't appear out of thin air. It was a consequence - evidence of a seam ripping in the universe, and on the other side...

Crowley only saw him for a second, but that was all he needed.

Aziraphale.

They locked eyes. Aziraphale's face lit up as if he were seeing the stars for the first time. 

Stars Crowley created.

He was quite a distance from the tear. Like Crowley, he avoided it as much as possible. But seeing Crowley on the other side, he ran toward it, calling out a single word. It was all he had time for before the rend closed, and he was gone again.

The word he managed was Crowley.

Every night after, Crowley would arrive at the bench with plenty of time for the two of them to speak. As best as they could deduce, something bizarre happened during that fire in Aziraphale's bookshop. Unprecedented. Crowley assumed, at first, that the flames that devoured his angel's pride and joy had come from Hellfire. But they didn't. And Aziraphale, standing in the center of the transportation portal in his corporeal form, never made it to Heaven. He got caught in between. 

Purgatory. 

A place that many supernatural beings consider scarier than Hell. 

A railway station with a way in but no way out. For immortals, that is. Mortal souls can earn a place upstairs depending on how they behave in this celestial waiting room. But as humans and demons don't concern themselves much with Purgatory lore, there is no book in Hell or on Earth that can help. Crowley has tried finding one - traveled to libraries and broken into collections he would do only on Aziraphale's behalf. But for all of his lofty capers, he found nothing. There might be a book in Heaven, but Crowley has no way to access it.

And Aziraphale is trapped.

Wouldn't Crowley know it, but even under these circumstances, Aziraphale found ways to continue his insufferable good deeds, helping mortal souls trapped with him to move along. Though Crowley believes Aziraphale has an ulterior motive.

Peace and quiet.

Aziraphale has one of those faces that attracts people to him, people who long to share their woeful life stories. So he listens, and then he counsels. When that soul moves on, he earns the most sought-after prize of all - an additional measure of silence.

Crowley and Aziraphale thought Heaven would notice his absence by now. Gabriel’s memos were piling up on Aziraphale's desk, untouched. Or by the massive influx of souls arriving at the pearly gates. 

But no luck.

The angels in charge of the prisoners in the bottomless pits of Hell are more on the ball than the ones who keep an eye on the poor souls stuck in between.

This boundary between Earth and Purgatory dissolves at the stroke of midnight but zips up as soon as the clock strikes 12:01. Then Aziraphale disappears, not returning again till the following day. They are permitted one minute to tell each other everything, and they do their best to get it all out. 

There's one thing Crowley hasn't gotten to yet. Hasn’t for 6000 years. 

His one regret.

He plans on telling Aziraphale tonight on the off chance they can't come up with a solution to this.

Crowley feels the light before it appears. It tugs at something deep inside, ushers him to his seat on the bench. It arrives with a clap like thunder, so loud he’s surprised when it doesn’t shatter windows and crack foundations. Air whooshes by him at hurricane speeds, sucked into the impending rend. 

A second later, Aziraphale appears beside him. 

In a different dimension but beside him, framed by the light as if he's a reflection in a mirror. 

Crowley inches his hand close, knowing without seeing that Aziraphale’s hand rests similarly on the opposite side. They cannot touch. They’ve tried. 

Neither can cross the barrier.

“So, my dear,” Aziraphale starts, looking through the shimmer at Crowley, “how’s the bookshop?”

“Right as rain as always,” Crowley replies. He used to mutter, “Hello, Crowley. How are you? You’re looking well this fine evening,” but realized how immature and hurtful that was when Aziraphale heard him, and his face fell. Aziraphale wasn’t disregarding Crowley by not asking after him first. It was too painful for Aziraphale to acknowledge how far apart they were from one another. “How have you been, angel?”

“Can’t complain. Although I could really go for a plate of crepes. Or perhaps a nice, hearty gazpacho.”

“Don’t you worry. The moment I have you free of there, I’ll take you to dinner. Anywhere you want to go.”

“I’m holding you to that,” Aziraphale says, the longing in his eyes heartbreaking. “It wouldn’t be so bad over here if I had a book or two.”

“I did try passing you one over, but… “

“Yes, yes, I recall.” Aziraphale sighs at the memory of a favorite Wilde hardcover disintegrating into thin air. Luckily, that didn’t happen to either of them when they attempted to cross. “Valiant effort. Disastrous outcome.” 

“Meddled in anyone's affairs today, have you?” 

“As a matter of fact… ” Aziraphale smiles brightly. “A charming lady named Agatha. Lived a good long life. Died at the age of 93, I believe she said.”

“Wot in the world did she do to make it into Purgatory?”

“The usual. Attachment to sin.”

Crowley nods, lips twisting with a knowing grin. “Let me guess… the premarital variety?”

“That’s the one. She also poisoned an abusive stepfather, not her own, broke into a research facility to rescue rabbits, and stole a petty neighbor’s tomatoes on the daily until the day she died.”

Crowley chuckles. “Ah, yes. You’ve got to love old ladies.”

“Indeed.”

“Wot did you do?”

“Same as always. I had her give a proper confession. I forgave her for the poisoning, of course… “

“Of course.”

“... and the rabbit liberation. But we talked through the issue with the tomatoes. I explained that trespassing on her neighbor’s property is wrong even if the woman did dye all her delicates on her drying line puce.”

Crowley makes a face. He has no idea what puce is, but it sounds vile. “Probably justified there.”

“But that wasn’t the crux of her dilemma.”

“Wot was?”

Aziraphale turns, eyes wandering in the direction of the pond even though he can’t see it. “She misses the love of her life.”

Crowley's eyes widen. “Oh.”

“I assured her that her lover would be with her soon. After that, she was fine moving on.”

“Is that the truth?”

“Yes,” Aziraphale says wistfully. “He beloved misses her very much. They make a lovely couple.”

“That’ll be nice. The two of them reuniting.”

“Yes. It will be… for them.”

Silence falls between them. They steer clear of silence when they can, seeing how short their time is together, but it can't be helped. Aziraphale could work from here till eternity joining lost souls, but he can't help himself do the same. 

The weight of that overwhelms them.

Crowley's phone vibrates in his pocket, signaling their minute together coming to an end. The silver frame phases, its light dimming, sputtering like a candle about to go out. As with every time before, Crowley tries to stop it, tries to stop time to keep Aziraphale with him longer. But it doesn’t work. Either this rend works outside of the laws of time, or time has had it with Crowley’s antics, but this can’t be stopped. 

Crowley’s imagination isn’t strong enough.

“We only have a little time left,” Aziraphale says, “and we’re no closer to solving this puzzle!”

“I know,” Crowley replies. “I'll keep working on it. I promise. But before you go, I just wanted to tell you… ”

The air crackles as the rip begins to mend, the noise drowning them out.

"Yes, my dear?"

"I need to tell you... "

“Oh, Crowley!” Aziraphale starts to fade as the gap sutures shut. “I’m so sorry… "

The tear closes, his angel gone, and in the ensuing silence, Crowley’s last words hang in the air, having escaped his lips a second too late for their recipient to hear.

“… I love you.”

[paint-lady]

Vamptober Week 2 Reflection!

Week one reflection

Its a little late- I know. But this week went from everything is manageable and busy to my brain going full exhaustion. But another week down! Another 7 drawings! Lets take a looksie:

Vamptober Day 8: This Clan of Mine

1 HR 30 MINS

A little Goratrix anyone? After making this piece, of course my ST and I sat down and he explained some of the Old Lore for those funky antitribu. I really like the detail I put into this character’s curls and the foreshortening on her hand. It feels like a believable perspective- the proportions don’t feel off.

I should have spent a bit more time figuring out the Goratrix mark- it looks a little sloppy. I don’t think I had decided if I wanted the wound to be fresh, old and scarred, or freshly peeled (gross I know).

Vamptober Day 9: Newly Found Power

1 HR 25 MIN

I have been waiting to use this particular reference image since I found it in 2020. Finally! The movement of this piece is so fun. The hatching on their pants and shirt is incredibly well done.

I think the part I needed to pay more attention to was the proportions for the front leg and foot. The shoe looks a little off. I think the boot needs to have a bend towards the toe- indicating the character is putting weight on their feet.

Vamptober Day 10: Inner Monster

Over 2 HOURs

I went over on this one, but it was well worth it. I spent a great deal of time shading and perfecting the change in the mirror. I am very pleased with the quick render of the mirror- I am definitely getting more used to what Clip Studio can auto-render for me.

I got plenty of comments on this piece and it makes me beam with pride. My favorites include “The stipple shading is superb,” and  “QUEEN SHIT” The only detail I want to pick at is the clothing. I cannot tell if my character is wearing a dress, a dress with an undershirt with sleeves, or some other combo. However, it is such a small detail I do not feel like it is something that warrants an edit.

Vamptober Day 11: Faith that Hurts

1 HR 30 MINS

This was one of my harder pieces. I had a rough time figuring what I wanted to conceptualize, and what story I wanted to briefly tell with the prompt. I commend myself on the following: I did impressively fast research. I knew what I wanted to do- I just needed to see it. I found tons of beautiful mosques and temples, and even considered illustrating the scene through stained glass. However, the more detail I put into the environment, the more the focus was drawn away from the central figure withering to ash. I  did a good job showing scale and perspective with the tiling. The ash floating from the corpse has good movement.

2 HRS

I went over. But LOOK HOW COOL IT LOOKS

I feel like this vibe definitely fits with VTMs new PVP MMO. I won’t deny that it looks kinda fun, but competitive PVP is not my thing. I really like the detail and looseness of the brushwork in this piece. Its so simple yet effective. I am getting more confident. I really like the subtle detail of the character’s hair and eyeglasses. The dimension on their mask looks awesome. I think i did a good job showing how their jacket has weight. The font is fantastic! The notes I give myself are to watch the anatomy of the leg. The loose style of the brushwork does not show the perspective properly. I should have gone back in and adjusted the light and dark strokes.

Vamptober Day 13: Eyes of the Beast

1 HR

I have mixed feelings on this piece. I think the facial features are good. I think the font is excellent. I find the white background is incredibly distracting.

Although many seemed to love and compliment this piece, I think it lacked that particular vampire-ness that is titular to the game. The person is clearly beast-like... but in the way a demon or devil is. Not to say that vampires and demons and devils aren’t all temptatious monsters but they are different.

1 HR 30 MIN

OOOOH This one was so so fun. When I finished it, I immediately spammed my friends with “This is very hot and sexy of me to create.”

The drips of blood with roses superimposed on it was just *chefs Kiss* Maybe its the Toreador in me, but I just knew what was going to look cool and be fun. Additionally, I got to play with another aspect of Clip Studio, I had been hesitate to use its auto-color feature. However, its ability to guess where shadows go was surprisingly accurate. I of course had to do the highlights, but I am pleased with the results. I think I could have spent more time on this character’s hair and the shadows across their nose. I think there needs to be one more shadow or highlight (where idk?)

Week 2 Reflection:

So that’s 14 pieces. WOO! I did it! AND DAMN I AM STARTING TO FEEL TIRED

Schedules are getting the best of me. I would fret If I couldnt get a drawing done. On a friday, I debating eating more of an edible than I ever would just to get my brain to shut up and zone the fuck out. If none of my braincells were working except to let me eat everything in the fridge and lie motionless thinking about the universe- well I wouldnt be on the verge of tears over producing artwork. I am aiming with Week 3 to let myself be a bit more relaxed- but as this is late and we are 3 days in... I am not more relaxed. I am very worked up. Its hard.

I recall in last reflection I was worried about the moment when i mess up and fall behind. I wanted to have the time limit be a way to make sure I wouldn’t spend hours and hours on my pieces and be able to have some time to relax. Apparently, there are not enough hours in the day. 

~Hi, week three steph here, I am not budgeting my time any better, but I’m letting my pieces be a little less of the quality I push myself to. This has spared me a few breakdowns and missed bedtimes. I am really trying to work through this feeling. I really like creating this kind of art, and i expect myself to consistently produce something good. I am trying to recall if last year I was simultaneously feeling so upset, so driven, and so happy at the same time.

I started planning out my pieces earlier, and spending less time on research. I’ve started to make sure I am relaxed and calm before starting up and finding time to take more breaks. I have so much I want to do, and theres time- there’s time- even if it doesnt feel like it right now.

Anyways, week three will be posted soon and I will be going through those pieces. Heres to Week 3 and 4! We got this! I got this!

[marleneoftheopera]

10 Underrated Christine’s!

Was asked by an anon to do this and I absolutely love the idea! Figured I would give it its own post. I also made a companion podcast episode about this topic, which you can listen to here. 

Also put links to some audio/video of them, so those who haven’t heard of them can have a listen! There are definitely other clips of all of these Christine’s online, and on Tumblr some gifted audios. And of course, all of these Christine’s I have a recording of, so I am always open to trade for them.

There are so many I think are underrated, so this was a hard list. But here 10 I will put up for now (in no particular order).

1. Charlotte Page (London 1999-2000):

I wish she had stayed with the show longer. Stunning all around. Lush, full, operatic voice. Some great acting chops, with some little touches in there. She vocally was different from the Christine’s they had at that time, in the best way. While we only have 2 audios of her, we do also have a full video. Praise.

Here is her Wishing.

2. Sarah Pfisterer (US Tour 1991-95, Broadway 1999-2001):

Was Christine for quite some time, and yet there are no videos of her. Maybe 3 audios, and a handful of photos. i hear she was pregnant a few times, so her being out on leave might explain why. But has such a gorgeous, porcelain look. Beautiful voice, with a perfect balance of vibrato and operatic sound. I sometimes call her the Charlotte Page of Broadway because 1) they were in the show at the same time and 2) I think they had similar voices in terms of that bigger operatic quality. I always liked her vocally and look-wise, but I sat down a few months ago and really listened to her, and she has become such a favorite of mine.

Here is her Wishing, and here is the only video we have of her actually singing in the role.

3. Corinne Cowling (London 2019-2020):

Had a lot of shows as the understudy since the principal and alternate were out or doing too many shows. I would love to see her get a principal run, as it seems do a lot of other phans. Pull a real-life Christine. She reminds me a lot of Holly Anne Hull; this really strong voice full of emotion. She really proved that not only was she able to step into the role when needed, but that she could do it well. Her sister Morgan was Meg in the Restaged US Tour, and I dream of a world where they play Christine and Meg together.

Here is her Wishing, though I definitely recommend getting a full audio. It is well worth it.

4. Jan Hartley Morris (London 1988-89):

Another Christine I wish would have stayed with the show longer. But we do have a video of her, albeit being not of amazing quality. Looks so lovely in the part, and has an absolutely gorgeous voice. Full, lush, reminded me a tad of Amy Manford in how she seemed able to just twist each word out just the way she wanted to. Total control. 

Here is her Think of Me and Angel of Music.

5. Adrienne McEwan (US tour 1993-94 + 1996, Broadway 1998-2003):

Was in the show for some 9 years, including being the alternate for the 10th anniversary on Broadway. Had such a beautiful and unique voice, and not a ton of vibrato like some of the US Christine’s at this time had. So pretty in wig and costume. There are a few videos of her, and a decent amount of audio. And yet, we don't talk about her nearly enough.

Here is her Wishing.

6. Maria Listra (Estonia 2015-16, 2020):

A non-replica Christine! She just looks so lovely in the part and sounds gorgeous. There is a video of her in ‘All I Ask of You’, and she is wonderful in it. I would love to see her do the original version someday. A hidden gem.

Here is her Think of Me, but I would definitely watch the ‘All I Ask of You’ of her on YouTube in the part. She’s so good and the Estonian Raoul and Christine are adorable.

7. Astrid Giske (Oslo 2018-19):

Another non-replica Christine! And a blonde one too! The Oslo production remains a favorite in my book, and Astrid is one of the main reasons. She had a real-life Christine moment, being the understudy Christine, but having to take over for Mira Ormala, who had to depart the production early on due to health reasons. Astrid got a bunch of pictures, and a feature on a Broadway site, and did every show afterward until the production. Besides the very last show; Astrid herself got sick and could not go on. Looked so lovely in the part, and has such a strong and angelic voice. I wish someone would put her in another production.

There are quite a few videos on YouTube of her which you should all watch (including the pro-shot clips from the production), but I put her “soar” here because I just adore it.

8. Julie Goodwin (World Tour 2007-09):

One of the youngest Christine’s; I think she was only 19 when she did the part. Absolutely stunning voice; reminds me a lot of Claire Lyon. That full operatic glory. From pictures and one video we have of her, she seems to have been pretty nice acting-wise. Looks really pretty as well.

Here is her Wishing.

9. Elisabeth Berg (Stockholm 1989-91):

For a Christine who was the principal in the first ever Swedish production, and is featured on said cast recording, she is really not talked about at all. I figure it’s mostly due to her being in Sweden and not in one of the flagships in the pre-Internet days. But still, a Christine on a cast recording I would think would have a bit more notoriety. Anyway, absolutely stunning voice. Like, beyond amazing. I would listen to her sing the alphabet. Such control, so much emotion, I adore her. When they invent the time machine I am going back to see her.

Here is the Swedish soundtrack.

10. Isabel Schwartzbach (Copenhagen 2018-19):

I love how clear and light her voice is. To me, she is the perfect ‘modern’ Christine. Meaning she has that lighter, almost pop sound to her voice, but without the squeaky-ness that we sometimes get. I really wish she would have gotten some promo shots or something. But she looks really pretty in the role, and from what I have heard she was quite good overall. 

Here is her Wishing.

There you have it! I could add at least 50 more to this list, so don’t think that these are the only ones I think could use more love. But this is a nice way to experience other Christine’s with varying kinds of voices in different languages. Especially for newer phans, who have probably only heard Sarah, Sierra, Emmy, and/or their first live Christine.

Again, if you would like more clips of any of these Christine’s or some more actresses to have a listen to, feel free to message me!

[franniebanana]

CQL Rewatch - Ep 19

Wow, Wei Wuxian looks so rough here. He’s spent some time under the knife (with no anesthetic), and then after that, he has just been waiting around for Jiang Cheng. It’s been seven days since Jiang Cheng went up that mountain. And of course Wei Wuxian is worried about him. What if something happened on his way down the mountain? What if he’d been captured or killed by the Wens? All the while, he’s basically defenseless here in Yiling (iirc). He’s sweating profusely, clutching at his middle—it’s possible he’s even suffering from an infection due to the transfer surgery. Seriously, the poor guy!

I love the visuals here: all these cloaked figures just filling this tea house, and not another soul in there other than the waiters. It’s both comical and heartbreaking the way that Wei Wuxian tries to immediately nope out of there, because he knows it’s a trap right away. Even with his Golden Core, I don’t know if he could have escaped them all—there were too many Wens, including the Core-Melting Hand. This part always really gets to me, because it truly is the first death of Wei Wuxian. It’s the death of who he once was: that smart, quirky, rascal of a youth, who made a very honest oath that essentially guided him to this point.

No joke, the first time I watched this, I was like, “Is that Lotus Pier? How tf did he get there?! How much did they change the story?!” And then a few seconds later, I realized this was a super sad dream/vision that Jiang Cheng was having and I channeled all my anger into sadness. This part is also super depressing. He has this vision of this happy family: his mother laughing, his father kissing his hand, just the picture of love. But it’s so far from what he had growing up, and you just realize that his greatest desire was really to have that happy family. But his parents are dead, he’s lost just about everyone at Lotus Pier—it’s so heartbreaking.

God, he just looks so broken! I’m sad now.

So even though I know the cost of Jiang Cheng’s happiness is Wei Wuxian giving up his own Golden Core, I still feel so happy here, seeing Jiang Cheng feeling like himself again. It’s because Wei Wuxian knows Jiang Cheng’s heart truly that he could offer up his own future so that Jiang Cheng could have a better one. I also just love this shot of Jiang Cheng kowtowing to the Immortal One, thanking her for healing him, and the camera pans past him, showcasing the beautiful scenery again. And then he walks down the mountain path with such a spring in his step! I love it!

I love that Wei Wuxian is still able to use his mind and play to their weaknesses. Wang Lingjao is extremely superstitious and fearful of the supernatural, and just the idea that he could haunt them scares the shit out of her. It’s just very cool to me that with all the abuse he endures, he still maintains a clear head and is able to fight back with his wit. This is yet another reason why I get annoyed when I see Wei Wuxian characterized as an idiot or someone who isn’t very smart. He proves his wit in just about every scene, so I don’t know why he gets this reputation in fanon. I feel like it’s derived from some overused yaoi/shojo trope where the “girl” has to be less smart than the “guy.” I don’t know how many things I’ve watched and read with a scatterbrained (but not charming) female lead—it’s overused.

This is so cool, because Wei Wuxian is scared out of his mind—he’s terrified of being left to die in the Burial Mounds. He’s heard all the stories: people don’t return, their souls get torn apart, etc. But what is cool is that he turns everything around and makes this place his source of power. He’s the man who conquered the Burial Mounds. It’s very satisfying to see that. FYI, I’m not going to talk about how he falls for like 20 minutes.

But I do think it’s really cool how the dark spirits catch him (and that’s all I’ll say).

This part still gives me major chills: you hear so many people calling out Wei Wuxian’s name, and then a “Wei Ying” breaks through. My breath always catches in my throat the first time I hear it. And then you hear it again, and the other voices have faded away before you hear it a third time. And that all feels nice until the screaming starts, which is hard to listen to, let alone hard to watch Wei Wuxian go through the mental turmoil.

Lan Wangji is back, bitches! He’s got a new title, a new headdress, and he’s hotter than ever. Jokes aside, though, this entrance is beyond epic. Other than that tiny glimpse of him in the last episode, it’s been ages since we’ve seen him, and it’s so satisfying that we get this great entrance, walking up this enormous staircase. Obviously by this point, I’m ecstatic to see him (it’s been way too long). Everything about this scene is great, from his entrance, to the way he uses his guqin as a spiritual tool, to the way he and Jiang Cheng are now a team. I don’t think there’s an awful lot of comradery there, but they have a common goal: find Wei Wuxian.

So we’re not really used to seeing a ton of emotion from Lan Wangji. Even when he’s annoyed, he doesn’t tend to show it. But, man, he is pissed here. Because of the magic of fiction, he’s probably heard the Wens’ conversation as he was walking up the stairs, so he heard them mocking Wei Wuxian (and the Yunmeng Jiang Sect), and he is not happy about it. He even uses the Chord Assassination Technique right off the bat against at least two of the Wen soldiers. Lan Wangji means business, and he’s not leaving until he gets what he wants.

The other great thing is that he doesn’t even need to come up all the way. He defeats them at a distance, while he’s still on the stairs. And the power and respect he commands is so great that they all know him by his face.

What Wen Chao does here is so relatable. His girlfriend is freaking out, having nightmares, convinced Wei Wuxian is going to turn into a ferocious ghost and haunt them until they lose their minds, and he, of course, rationalizes: they’ve sent so many people to the Burial Mounds and none of them have ever come back. In other words, “You’re being ridiculous.” But when he turns away from her, you can see the fear in his own eyes. When something spooky happens, my first step is always to rationalize—there’s a logical explanation for most things, right? And it always makes you feel better to rationalize it to someone else, but when you’re alone and thinking, your mind starts to wonder, your imagination starts to go wild. It’s easy to psyche yourself up in the dark and quiet of the night.

There’s this really gorgeous cello version of “Wuji” playing during this scene—it’s so beautiful, so moving, hitting me right in the feels. The look on Lan Wangji’s face when Jiang Cheng is telling him about how he and Wei Wuxian were supposed to meet in Yiling, how he thought Wei Wuxian had abandoned him to meet up with Lan Wangji in Lanling—he looks so defeated there. Defeated despite taking down the Qishan Indoctrination Bureau. Defeated because he hasn’t found who he’s been searching for. And then he holds Suibian so tenderly and lovingly—I’m emotional, okay?

It’s really cute and heartwarming to see Jin Zixuan starting to fall for Jiang Yanli. We’ve known for quite some time how Yanli feels for him, so it’s quite satisfying to see his walls come down as he starts to care more and more about her. He becomes protective of her. When she gasps at the hanging head at the gates of Qinghe, his instinct is to hold her—of course, he stops himself, but it’s very obvious that he wants to comfort her physically (and not in a dirty way, get your minds out of the gutter).

I love the dichotomy here: on one end, you have Jin Zixuan asking Lan Wangji where Wei Wuxian is, while you have Jiang Yanli echoing that on the other end with Jiang Cheng. Jiang Cheng can’t answer—he’s crying, trembling, emotionally responding to his sister without speaking. And Lan Wangji can’t speak either. His lips part, but no words come out. Again, you get this great sense of defeat from him—he’s completely at a loss, but he can’t or chooses not to show those emotions.

It’s also interesting how they kind of clipped the reunion between the Yunmeng Jiang siblings in favor of showing the conversation between Jin Zixuan and Lan Wangji. In my opinion, it’s to remind us of the reunion that isn’t happening right now—the one that should have been—the one between Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian. And why isn’t it happening? The conversation reminds us that he’s still missing. I don’t doubt the importance of the Yunmeng Jiang siblings in this story—they are obviously instrumental to the plot and to Wei Wuxian—but it’s choices like this where the writers/scene directors remind us that the relationship to focus on is the one between Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji. Lan Wangji, and not Jiang Cheng, holds onto Suibian, the only remaining item that is most spiritually connected to Wei Wuxian. Isn’t that interesting?

“A-Cheng, you’ve grown up. As your sister, there’s nothing I can do but worry about you.” Such a wise line—such a sad line. This really brings out how powerless she feels in the lives of her brothers. She’s a bystander, she has no influence. All she can do is watch and worry, and nothing either of them says or does will change that. It’s something we as parents and caretakers and guardians at some point have to admit: we can’t control our children’s lives, we can’t control those we take care of. Once they reach a point in their lives, it’s them who has to make their own decisions. They must thrive on their own, they must fail on their own. And all we can do is watch and worry and hope for the best. God, Yanli breaks my heart.

Me in bed when I watch a scary movie any time of the day.

She does crazy so well, though.

Other episodes: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 |

[florrickandassociates]

TGF Thoughts: 5x04- And the clerk had a firm...

You can tell I’m enjoying this season when episodes air on Thursdays and I’ve written a recap by Friday night. More under the cut, as always. 

I woke up very early on Thursday morning and couldn’t get back to sleep, so I decided to just watch this episode on my phone (I write these on rewatch). I’m sure the show was hoping that the upside-down clips of fake!Love Island would be disorienting, but wow, did this work on me. Between the lack of sleep and how plausible it would’ve been for me to accidentally have my phone upside-down with rotation lock on... I truly thought it was an ad for Love Island and also had to pause the episode to check my phone settings. Good job, show!

It turns out, however, that Carmen is doing a headstand and watching reality TV on her laptop. Very happy to see Carmen at home. It would be easy for the show to have her just be a mysterious presence at the firm, so even seeing her do perfectly normal things is a good reminder that she is a whole person and not just Associate Who Will Defend Anyone.  

(I wouldn’t have expected Carmen to enjoy reality tv, but then again, I love Big Brother so...)

Carmen lives in a studio that doesn’t look like it is brand new!!! I’m ridiculously excited to see an apartment that actually looks like a place someone fresh out of law school might live. I’d believe it if Carmen lived in a studio in a luxury building or a one-bed on the salary she’s surely making at RL, but it’s very refreshing to see a character who isn’t super-wealthy on this show that tends to be about, well, very wealthy people.  

Carmen is smarter than every other character on this show and on most TV shows: instead of opening the door without taking any precautions, she puts the chain on first. Remember how people used to just show up at Alicia’s door when she was the governor’s wife, and she’d always just open the door and look surprised?  

Charles Lester is at Carmen’s door even though it’s nearly midnight. She tries to get him to leave, but he insists on staying. She closes the door to undo the chain, and uses the privacy of the closed door to grab a makeshift weapon, just in case.

Carmen explains her apartment by saying, “student loans.” So she doesn’t come from (excessive) money. (Or she was cut off by her family, but I feel like the early character description of Carmen said something about her family not having money.)  

Lester has something very important to tell Carmen, but all his notes are on different scraps of paper and, even though he says his information is time sensitive, he takes his time looking for the right piece of paper.

He says Carmen can’t say she heard the info from him, blah blah. He’s there to share that in ten minutes, someone at the firm is going to be searched by the FBI. This info comes, of course, from Rivi.  

Do we think Lester has to reference his notes to remember that the FBI is searching a name partner of Carmen’s firm? Or do we think he’s fucking with her? I think the latter.

Carmen was doing exercises to help with migraines, btw.  

Carmen calls Diane to tip her off. Diane and Kurt are already asleep, but luckily, Diane has her phone on full volume and takes the call. She’s not happy about it and asks if it can wait until tomorrow. Asks is the wrong word—she instructs the caller to hang up if it can wait.  

Even though Carmen can’t say where she got the information, Diane knows it must be from Rivi. Seems obvious enough.

Kurt gets out of bed and starts locking up guns and getting to work; Diane calls Liz. Liz is in bed with a guy we’ve never seen before and she does not really want to talk.  

Liz notes that the info also could’ve come from Wolfe-Coleman, since Carmen is “tangled up with some rough characters.”  

I’m sorry, fake Netflix CEO man... WHY ARE YOU STILL TRYING TO KISS AND PLAY WITH LIZ WHEN SHE IS ON THE PHONE TALKING ABOUT PURGING FILES AND THE FBI????  

I don’t even hold this against the character. This is one of those things the writers of this show LOVE doing to heighten tension. They think people behave like this in real life and that it’s funny to have a million competing priorities at once, so they insist on doing things like this. In reality, I would be concerned about any person who did not hear “FBI” and go, “um, what the hell is happening? I should stop trying to fuck rn.”  

Kurt starts burning papers. Is no one going to point out that maybe being on the phone (after you KNOW you’ve had NSA issues) talking about tips from powerful criminals and asking questions that are pretty clearly about document destruction... is a bad strategy?  

Dude, why are you STILL GOING after Liz clearly tells you to stop!? Do you want me to hate you?!  

Liz adds Jay to the call. He is asleep and also his hallucination from the premiere is (sadly) back. I still don’t get what they’re going for with this, so I’ll just be happy that (1) there is only one hallucination this time and (2) it’s only on screen for a minute.  

This dude is really chanting “Let me see ‘em!” at Liz while she is on a frantic work call! This is how we are introduced to him! This is not funny! If this weren’t being played for laughs/to raise the stakes by having a lot going on I would be calling this man misogynistic!

Liz remembers that Diane has full boxes of files! They spill onto the floor as she tries to hide them! Drama!  

And then the FBI arrives, so Diane asks Liz to take her 9 am with Wackner

The FBI enters, accompanied by... Nancy Crozier! Nancy is now an AUSA for some reason!

Nancy has graduated from “just a girl from Michigan” to using her pregnancy for dramatic effect. I guess she’s aged into being Patti Nyholm, or something. (I would LOVE to see Patti Nyholm show up on TGF.)  

I know the client files are top of mind for Diane, but isn’t it kind of obvious that the FBI would be there about Kurt, given that the FBI was talking to Kurt days earlier?  

9 mins in is early for credits!! (This first act flies, too—did not feel like 9 minutes.)  

I say this once an episode, but isn’t it so fun to see all the characters from season one of TGW pop up in season five of TGF?  

Liz sees her new man, Del Cooper, in reception. He’s a client. They try to be professional with each other. Liz remembers Diane’s 9 am with Wackner and asks the receptionist to tell her when he arrives. She dismissively says it’s “Some judge guy.” Wackner is, of course, already there and watching the interaction with interest. He uses this as an opportunity to “look for the restroom,” observe Liz meeting with someone else, and walk down to the associate floor.

He asks associate Leah (we’ve definitely seen her several times before) where he’s supposed to go for the staff meeting. She asks if he means the partner meeting or the associate one—he wants whichever is more interesting. She says she only knows about the associate meeting, and so he tags along.

Leah and Lucy (the associate from last week; Michael Boatman’s daughter) talk and assume that Wackner is from STR Laurie and thus in charge of the fate of their careers.  

The associate meeting is fairly small—Leah refers to it as their “daily” so I wonder if it’s more like a team meeting than a meeting of all the associates.  

The COTW is about a comedian who isn’t always PC. FakeNetflix is getting a lot of Twitter pushback.  

“Ah, so you’re worried about being cancelled,” Liz notes. “Don’t say the ‘C’ word,” Del jokes. Then he asks the firm to do a sensitivity read of the comedian’s act.

Liz asks why them. David doesn’t get why she’s asking, though obviously Liz knows he won’t be offended by her question since they have a relationship outside of work. Del thinks that RL is the right firm for this task because they are a black firm, and also because this can be an audition for the rest of their legal business.  

This seems like it is better for a PR firm or image consultant? Not a law firm? But sure.  

Diane explains the whole January 6th situation to Liz. Liz immediately understands that if Kurt is in trouble, Diane is the one representing him. Because Kurt is Kurt, I’m willing to accept the “spouses-representing-each-other" trope here. But let the record reflect that, as always on this show, it is a TERRIBLE idea to have your spouse represent you! Just pick someone outside of the firm! JUST PICK ELSBETH, KURT.

Diane asks how her 9 am went; David Lee interrupts to ask Liz why she is being so casual with Del. “David, I am on the phone,” Liz responds. I love that she doesn’t really answer him.  

Leah and Lucy try to turn the associate meeting into a showcase of how great they are; the other associates catch on quickly and all are happy to answer Wackner’s questions. He wants to understand jury trials.

Nancy’s pregnancy act does not work on Judge Farley, yet she keeps it up anyway. Court doesn’t go well for Diane, but it also doesn’t go well for Nancy.

Some of these interactions remind me a little too much of Peter’s trial at the end of TGW, like this one where Nancy goes to Diane with information about Kurt.

Leah gets off the elevator as Diane and Nancy talk, and to Diane’s surprise, Wackner is shadowing Leah! She takes a moment to look surprised before we return to the scene with Nancy.

I like all the little interactions within this Wackner plot. Diane asking Liz to meet with Wackner both connects Wackner to Liz AND shows that Diane would turn to Liz for back-up, and having Wackner/Leah run into Diane in court is a good reminder that even though Diane is dealing with a pressing issue, Wackner hasn’t just disappeared.  

Diane encourages Kurt to talk. She wants to know if he’s not telling her something because she’s his wife or because she’s his lawyer. This is maybe why you don’t hire your wife as your lawyer.  

Kurt says it’s because of politics—Diane doesn’t like that, since this is one issue where their politics should be shared.  

“Diane, this works between us because we don’t let our political judgements overwhelm our respect for each other,” Kurt explains. But... is that relevant to this particular issue?  

Diane asks the same question, essentially, noting that January 6th changed “everything” for her and she can’t treat this like a “chess game” anymore. Kurt wants to know what she’s calling a chess game. She says their marriage is the one thing that’s not a game.  

On one level I understand exactly what Diane is saying and on another level I have no clue what this dialogue actually means. She can’t treat things like a game anymore, but also their marriage is the only thing that isn’t a game? So does that mean she can treat everything else like a game, then? I think what she’s trying to say is that the time for seeing political disagreements as a calm and rational game of strategy is over, and that she values her marriage and won’t play around with it.  

Kurt tells her what he burned—a list of people in his little group. He says he’d protect them just like he’d protect Diane’s book group friends. Oh, wow, I was not EVER expecting to hear about that arc again! This is a pretty perfect time to mention it, though, since Kurt DID protect book group for the exact same reason he’s protecting the members of his club.  

Other than “winning over a new client is important,” I have no idea why Liz and David Lee would gather together a group of partners to do the sensitivity read. I don’t know who IS the appropriate person to do the sensitivity read, given that this is a law firm, but I know this is a bad call.

Oh, they are going to go through line by line dissecting each joke in a group. They get through one joke before Madeline notes that the comedian is “objectifying black men.” A black male partner says he doesn’t mind. Madeline says that doesn’t matter because the joke is racially insensitive.  

Overlapping chatter ensues, and the partners try to make changes to the comedian’s jokes, like substituting Norwegian for Nigerian. This... is not what law firms do. The joke isn’t funny with the substitution, but it also wasn’t funny before. It was low hanging fruit and the correct answer is to just cut it entirely. (Also, if you’re a comedian and all your jokes are about common stereotypes of groups to which you do not belong, you are probably not a very funny comedian!)

Diane has Jay do some more investigating. Jay looks up when Diane says, “ringleader of the insurrectionists,” and Diane is just like, “I know.” Then Carmen walks in.

Diane congratulates Carmen on “hitting the ground running” and then asks again how she knew about the warrant. Diane says she’s covered by the same attorney-client privilege, so Carmen should be able to share. Carmen notes the warrant was actually about Kurt, which does not answer Diane’s question. “So this came from Rivi?” Diane asks. Carmen says she can’t confirm.

“Carmen. You have been here three weeks. You have two clients: Wolfe-Coleman and Oscar Rivi. It’s one or the other!” Diane notes. Yep. I love that they didn’t forget that this isn’t much of a mystery. It’s more about principle than anything. If Diane knows it’s one of two sources and needs more information, I’m sure Jay can figure it out.  

Carmen knows she’s stuck, so she asks if she can make a phone call. “I think that would be smart,” Diane says.  

I’ve noticed that Liz and Diane are both being quite firm with others this season—and I like it. They're spending more time with lower-level characters, and both Diane and Liz have reasons to be more curt this year. Diane is under a lot of stress and it’s showing in all of her interactions; Liz is making a point of seeming in control to establish herself as the leader of the firm.  

Then Marissa walks in. “What is going on with your crazy court judge?” Diane asks. “My?” Marissa asks. “Marissa, I am in no mood for defensiveness,” Diane insists. She mentions Wackner missing his meeting and shadowing Leah. That’s news to Marissa.  

Marissa heads to Wackner’s court to figure out what’s going on.

Wackner is now experimenting with juries. This is interesting to me—I'd wondered before how smart it was to just have Wackner make all the rulings, so exploring the idea of having a jury shows he’s thinking about that, too. Also, it’s another sign that Wackner wants his court to have many of the same structures as a real courtroom. There are still judges, juries, witnesses, trials—he's starting something new, but it feels more like he’s testing out improvements for an imperfect system. I wonder if his end goal would be to set up separate courts, or if he’s more interested in shaping laws/reforming the system? Surely Wackner has ambitions of scaling up whatever conclusions he comes to. So what are they?  

The reason for the juries is that the associates told him that juries are racially biased, so he’s trying to correct it. He also explains how he ended up shadowing Leah, and advises Marissa to go exploring whenever she’s kept waiting. (I have a feeling Marissa doesn’t need to be told this, but then, that’s why she’s Wackner’s “muse.”)  

Marissa notes that Wackner’s court is looking nicer—there must be money coming in from somewhere new. Wackner confirms there’s been a sympathetic donor.

Wackner is dealing with a case about NFT fraud. Marissa says she doesn’t know what that is. I’m going to assume that Marissa is using Wackner’s strategies against him (she had just accused him of playing dumb to get others to talk) because I cannot believe that Marissa, who always knows random facts, ESPECIALLY ones that involve weird corners of the internet, would not know what an NFT is.  

Marissa hears the case is about $4 million, and she’s shocked because this raises the stakes a little more than even she is comfortable with. Wackner has a signed and notarized document saying that both sides will honor the verdict. It is, as Marissa points out, notarized in 9 ¾ court by Wackner about a fictional case. “About a fictional crime,” Wackner adds on.  

I’m a little surprised this is all these writers had to say about NFTs! Maybe they knew that by the time this aired, the actual topic would feel dated.  

Mandy Patinkin is just SO GOOD as Wackner! I’m watching a fictional show about a fictional crime in a fictional court and even I am starting to believe in his ludicrous court!  

Wackner’s jury selection process involves catching potential jurors in traps, like pretending to know the national anthem when they don’t. Smart. Probably super problematic if you think about it too hard and put it in the wrong people’s hands and people start to know the system. But smart, for now.  

Diane is now in the sensitivity read meeting, for reasons passing understanding. They are still talking about the first joke. Jay calls Liz out of the meeting and notes that everyone in the room is old and no one is funny. “I’m funny!” Liz argues. Diane tries to leave the meeting, and Liz tells Diane Jay’s idea about needing younger people. “Oh god yes,” Diane agrees. I’m glad she sees it and a little alarmed that Liz doesn’t! I feel like they should’ve sent the tape to everyone interested in participating, then asked them to write up (separately) anything they found questionable or offensive, and gone from there, ending with a close review of anything that wasn’t previously flagged. If you debate every single line for hours you’re going to get nowhere.

I don’t know why Liz is so concerned that Jay thinks she’s not funny? But she is.

Diane asks Liz to join her meeting with Carmen and Lester. This is a scene I’ve been waiting for! Diane and Liz are both there and so the scene FEELS important. The plot advances. And, most importantly, they address why Carmen is staying at RL!

Lester reiterates that Carmen is super important to Rivi, so if Carmen says she can’t share info, then she can’t share info. Liz and Diane do not accept this. “I am a name partner. Carmen is a first-year associate,” Liz says. “Now, Carmen is free to resign and hang her shingle wherever she’d like. She can even go and work for you. That is up to her. But while she is here, she is subject to the rules and the mentoring of this firm.”

Lester tries to take Carmen out of the meeting. Liz and Diane won’t let him: They need to know if Carmen is staying with the firm, now.  

“You have a lot to learn, Carmen. And you can only do that here,” Diane pitches. I don’t think that’s exactly true, but it’s not untrue.

Here is a question I have about Carmen: she is WILLING to represent drug dealers and rapists. Does she WANT to? She chooses RL, so I’m guessing her interests lie in big law and not in aiding criminals.  

Lester leaves, but not before saying Kurt is about to get a grand jury summons. Diane gets one too. It’s not the usual guy! Too bad.

A bigger group is now deciding on if jokes are offensive or not, and they’re doing so with paddles that are red on one side (offensive) and green on the other (funny). I’m sure this is going to go well.

The group sees the replacement jokes and they are confused. Marissa wants to see the original joke. Julius shows the room, and everyone laughs. The joke is funny—and offensive. Someone from the mail room notes that he would be the butt of this joke, but he finds it funny, so he thinks the comedian should be able to continue with her set.  

Here is where I think I fall on this: Get sensitivity reads to get ahead of any huge issues (like, don’t be Pepsi with the ad with whichever Jenner it was who solved racism). Be aware of the potential issues. Let viewers decide what is and isn’t offensive, and make informed decisions rather than arbitrary rules about what content to show. You’ll KNOW if you are indulging the tendencies of someone with a history of making the same type of problematic jokes (for example, maybe if you are reviewing something by Tina Fey and she tries to write another edgy plot where racial stereotypes are the punchline, you advise her to not do that because, I mean, why WERE there so many episodes of 30 Rock that involved blackface??). You’ll KNOW if you are giving a platform to someone who is actively trying to spread misinformation and be cruel to others. Someone’s going to be offended by everything, and it may be a huge deal and it may not be. IMO, it doesn’t really matter that I can’t make an exact set of rules about what is/isn’t smart to air. I don’t think anyone—not networks, not creators, and not audiences—would benefit from that. Lawyers might, though, for all the billable hours...

“You can’t tell a joke without offending someone,” Jay notes. I do not think this is true! Puns don’t offend anyone!  

David Lee’s counter-example to Jay’s point is Gilbert & Sullivan. Of course it is.

As always, the argument devolves into overlapping chatter. These episodes exhaust me. At least this episode has some fun with the topic of the week and seems to have more of a point of view than some of the past episodes where the only conclusion is, “Wow! Controversy is controversial!”

Marissa ends up in the mail room with Jay and one of the mailroom guys (captions say his name is Jimmy). They are mocking the partner’s ideas of comedy. Jay and Jimmy agree that the best comedy is mean. But, Jay says, now it feels like you need “a permission slip to tell a joke.” Is... this true? This feels like one of those things people who would never actually get “cancelled” worry about because their fear overtakes their ability to understand what really gets someone cancelled.  

Then again, this episode was written by professional writers who would absolutely know better than I am if people are really hesitant to tell jokes.  

Jimmy has started making literal permission slips to allow people to tell jokes about specific groups. Jay and Marissa are down.  

Jay asks Jimmy to make a card for something so inappropriate he wouldn’t joke about it... and Jimmy prints a card that says Greta Thunberg. No one wants to joke about that.

And you know why this joke lands well for me? Part of it is that the vibe of this scene is very fun and laid back. But mostly it’s because Younger tried to make a Greta Thunberg joke this season, and it was quite possibly the worst, most embarrassing thing I’ve seen a TV show do in ages. It wasn’t funny, just mean, over the top, lazy, and never-ending. (Poor Younger. That show had an awful final season.)  

Liz is still worried she’s not funny. She asks Del if she’s funny and mentions Jay’s comment. He says she’s funny, but she’s not convinced he’s being honest. He points out this is a discussion no one will win. Del ends up accidentally saying “I love you” to Liz, which is a big deal for a relationship we’ve seen for all of two seconds. Liz says they don’t have to talk about it, but Del insists on explaining that he meant “affection,” not love. I’m glad they’re talking about this.

“Then maybe we should get married,” Liz says as seriously as possible. She stares at Del and smiles. He laughs and admits that was funny. It was VERY funny!  

Grand jury time! Yet Another Ham Sandwich: The Sequel: The Musical: The Series. (Am I funny? Pls tell me I’m funny and hip with the teens!)  

It’s Diane’s turn first. She does well, but there’s not much to say when Nancy plays the recording of Diane phoning the FBI with the rioter’s name. I did not need the clip from last episode in here. Diane is calm in court, but rushes to tell Kurt immediately. Nancy predicted Diane would do that, so she calls in Kurt before Diane has a chance to warn him.

So, wait, Kurt thought all of this was just a COINCIDENCE? Diane didn’t tell him earlier?! I don’t love this choice, but okay.  

Liz finds a joke permission slip on her desk. Julius has one too. “Did you use it?” Liz asks. Julius doesn’t understand what that even means. Then they trade clothes, because Liz does want to tell a joke about white girl clothes.

Julius suspects the cards are a way to make fun of the partners for being unfunny. The associates are also chatting about the cards, having lots of fun, so it’s clearly not about the partners.

I think now is an appropriate time to mention that TGW and TGF have both been consistently hilarious shows and have been on the air for a combined twelve years. Neither rely on the types of jokes that these cards permit. This is a kind of interesting thought experiment, but... doesn’t it say something that the shows never use these jokes as crutches and still manage to be funny? This is what I meant earlier about people being afraid of cancel culture when they’re not actually really at risk of coming under fire. These writers know how to write things that are funny. They know how to make comedy out of absurdity and subverting expectations. And yet they’re worried about how to have jokes that aren’t mean? Really?

The first laugh out loud funny TGW moment that comes to mind right now is the episode that ends with that obnoxious talk show guy trying to out Diane as a lesbian. That joke deals with identity. But it still holds up 12 years later, because the joke isn’t that Diane could be gay... the joke is that Diane DOES NOT GIVE A SHIT what this pest is saying about her on TV, and so she laughs. And because the tension of the talk show guy’s BIG DRAMATIC REVEAL is cut with Diane’s dynamic, loud laugh, we laugh with her! I’m not really sure what I'm trying to illustrate with this example. I’m just noting that you can be topical, funny, and entirely appropriate at the same time... and these writers are great at finding that balance.

HR starts, like, texting (they TEXT Marissa!!!) employees about the joke permission slips? It’s so bizarrely done that I thought this was going to be a prank.  

Jay decides they won’t go to HR, and Jimmy decides they’ll delay. Why wouldn’t HR just come down and take away the cards?

For this week’s dose of Wackner Wackiness, witnesses will be fully costumed, and it goes without saying that the costumes will be as over the top as possible.

David Cord is the mysterious donor. Marissa spots him and instantly puts the pieces together. Cord explains he met Wackner on the elevator. I can’t say enough how much I like that this season has a lot of moving pieces that feel like part of a whole. Cord showed up as part of a case that caused internal debate at the firm and had a thematic parallel to an ongoing plot, then crossed over into Wackner’s plot once he was established as a character!  

Cord says he’s interested in “disrupting things” so he’s interested in Wackner. I did not need the still photo of where they founded HP that’s used to illustrate humble beginnings, I guess.

Nancy mentions Kurt’s unfortunate last name—she so would. Kurt takes the fifth. Was this thing about needing a reason to take the fifth true in the earlier seasons and just not mentioned? Didn’t Kalinda and Will use this strategy?

Nancy, obviously, plays the recording of Diane reporting the rioter. Kurt conceals his reaction for the grand jury, but he’s pissed.  

Diane tries to apologize and Kurt asks for another lawyer. This is the right move. I can’t be all that sad.

The partners have collected all the cards and are trying to do damage control with HR. (Interestingly, there are certain topics the cards we see don’t touch on. Like, where’s the rape joke card? Aren’t rape jokes what we usually talk about when we talk about comedians getting cancelled? And where are the jokes about minority groups (aside from little people, referred to using the PC name instead of the names that would probably be used in most offensive jokes about little people) not represented in the TGF cast? I find this little bit of self-censorship quite notable, especially given that the writers seem to be arguing in favor of not regulating humor. These omissions, which MUST be intentional, tell me the writers do have their own lines they won’t cross...)  

(My larger point there, and where this funny-but-unnecessary subplot fails for me, is that this whole episode feels like a bit of a panic over cancel culture and winds up being a strawman argument. I don’t disagree with the conclusions the writers come to and I do find some of these scenes funny. But at the same time, I don’t think Cancel Culture is actually about coming after every single joke that makes fun of any person or group (if we must do a cancel culture plot, why not do one about someone who is an odious person and yet still has a following even after they’ve been “cancelled”). And I don’t think that showing HR as a very stern, strict, humorless body is helpful. I’m getting ahead of myself, but all that accomplishes is having Liz win on a point that pretty much everyone can agree on, because no one is actually as humorless as STRL’s HR department! Humor has so many gray areas and if you try to make it black and white, obviously the side that’s saying YOU CANNOT MAKE JOKES ABOUT ANYTHING is going to be the one that is wrong.  

I did just remember that all of these writers have probably dealt with unfun and strict standards & practices departments, and I like the way HR is portrayed more if I try to imagine them as Standards & Practices.

Liz decides she is going to see HR so she’s seen as an authority figure, not someone subversive. But first, Liz has to meet with Del and the comedian.

Wackner and Cord are in Diane’s office. Diane’s skeptical of their alliance. She also points out that it is corrupt for Wackner to be financed by Cord and decide on Cord’s cases. This is true. Cord says he has no vested interest in any of the cases. And Wackner says he’s the “most untouchable man on earth” and quotes a song again. Yet another example of how this court only works if Wackner is in charge.

The comedy meeting does not go well. David Lee is already trying to pitch their other servicces. The comedian finds the censored version hilarious in how terrible it is, and then she starts making fun of it, loudly, and for way too long.  

David thinks it went poorly; Liz isn’t concerned. David is all, “you failed” and Liz asks him to cool it and notes that David isn’t the highest-ranking person at STRL, so he should “stop the shit” and work with her. She’s already sounding more like a boss.  

Julius complements her on being “Boseman-like,” which is true (though I wish she didn’t need to be compared to her ex-husband). “I know,” Liz says quietly, likely because she hates that Adrian is still influencing her this much.  

Del joins Wackner and Cord in the elevator, and this isn’t the end of the episode but I’m going to pretend it is so all the episodes can end on elevators this year. It’s close enough.

Kurt’s new lawyer is Julius. Ah, yes, choose the corrupt judge Trump pardoned who works at your wife’s firm to represent you. Seems smart.  

Liz walks past Diane’s office and the camera follows her up to HR. She tries to get HR to understand humor. They do not. And that’s the episode.

So, a few thoughts to conclude. First, I went into this recap thinking I’d have a lot more to say about cancel culture and the way this episode handled the debate. But I ended up liking this plot—and this episode-- more the second time around. I still don’t think this episode said anything groundbreaking about cancel culture, because I don’t think it actually engaged with the topic beyond the surface. As I noted earlier, coming to the conclusion that jokes should be allowed because we’re all human isn’t really a resolution the real topic. What about accountability? What about allowing for some jokes to be too far without taking the teeth out of every joke? What about the way people panic over cancel culture when they’re not being canceled (this episode felt a little bit like a panic over cancel culture, which is why I reacted negatively to it the first time through) or about how cancellation doesn’t always stick or have meaning? There is SOMETHING to explore here, but I don’t think this episode found that something.  

Second, because I didn’t find a way to work it in above... is it me, or is it actually HELPING the show to not have Adrian or Lucca around!? This season feels so much more focused than the past several, and I think it might be because the writers (who are, as always, very good at adapting to curveballs) had to restructure the show. Lucca always had her own subplots that were separate from everything else, and Adrian’s charisma tended to overpower others’ presence (especially Liz’s) whenever he was in the room. It didn’t help that the writers seemed to LOVE writing Adrian plots, even if it meant neglecting others.  

Don’t get me wrong—I love Adrian and Lucca both. But there’s something to be said for a tighter show with three main interconnected pieces (Liz/firm drama, Diane/FBI and Kurt, Marissa/Wackner’s court) that carry over from episode to episode. Like the titles of the season, these episodes build on each other.  

Also, there’s the right amount of every character this season. David Lee is used sparingly; Jay and Julius are supporting players who sometimes get the spotlight; Wackner is a huge presence but his plot feels like part of the show; Carmen feels important but isn’t being given screentime for the sake of screentime; Liz is finally the type of lead she should’ve been from the start; Marissa has nicely grown into a role closer to leading than supporting; Diane remains a clear lead.  

5x05 next week!!! I am expecting some Hitting the Fan level quality and at least one fan-service-y reference. (Not really, but wouldn’t it be fun?)