#But I want my long fics to be top-notch quality

[rubberduckyrye]

@w@ I know I'll be thanking myself in the future for it, but fuck is editing the prologue of Twins AU taking forever. There's just....... so so much. Aaaahhhh....

[graciereadshannigram]

Five Star Fics: Hannigram Edition

hey fam, welcome to the inaugural roundup of the best hannigram fics i've read this past month! i read over 60 fics total, and these were the cream of the crop.

the ingredients for a five star rating typically (but not always!!) include some combination of a.) believable characterizations of both Hannibal and Will, b.) compelling plot and/or character arcs, and c.) high quality smut.

that being said, my judgment of the aforementioned ingredients is powered almost exclusively by vibes and as such, is incredibly subjective.

in no particular order, let's go!

~

Title: Veins As Fine As Rabbit Hair Author: lovetincture Word Count: 42,953 Summary: After their fall, the little yellow house Hannibal brings them to is a charmed space. It’s easy to forget there, when Will is in the mood for forgetting. In the Pennsylvanian woods, it’s easy as breathing to ignore the life he left behind. Simple to pretend they’re the last men on earth. Molly and Jack, the murder victims and the FBI seem farther away in the sea of tall, sweet grass—an echo from someone else’s dreams. That’s their life now: Will wants to forget, and Hannibal wants to let him. But reality has a way of asserting itself. No one can ignore it forever.

This was absolutely beautiful. And tender. And sweet. This is probably my favorite post-fall fic. I just get Will and love how they figure out their dynamic together. Definitely hit me right in the gut, but in a very very good way.

Title: Peccavi Author: Yggdrastiles (yoingle) Word Count: 30,067 Summary: After a terrifyingly vivid dream, Will realizes that he's going to need to pick a course of action, and the one he picks no longer involves betraying Hannibal. He knows he'll have to confess because if Hannibal were to discover the original plan on his own, it would tear them apart, and Will's not planning on letting him go anytime soon.

I'm a slut for a well-executed daddy kink, what can I say? Long enough to get really invested in the characters and top-notch smut. Nothing more to say here, folks!

Title: Demonstration Author: HotMolasses Word Count: 11,660 Summary: Will goes to a heat clinic a few days before he is due, to determine whether he wants to use the facility. But then he finds himself blindly following the scent of a delicious Alpha. Before he knows what's happening, he finds himself naked, bound, and gagged on an examination table that is being prepared for a medical demonstration, given by Dr. Lecter to a room full of students on how to properly treat an omega during heat. At first he is mortified, but Dr. Lecter's treatment soon has him enjoying himself to the point of begging for more.

This got five stars purely for the SCORCHING smut. If you're into the omegaverse and also enjoy exhibitionism, you'll enjoy this!

Title: Paragon Author: BloodyWar2411 Word Count: 552,462 Summary: When Hannibal met Will Graham (the man who had, three years prior, been mistaken for the Chesapeake Ripper), he expected amusement. What he got was his first taste of obsession. Dark and bitter in the back of his throat but achingly sweet on the tongue. He knew at once that this feeling, this Man, would consume him. And Hannibal would consume Will right back.

Need I say anything? I still don't have words for how much I loved this fic. The plot was excellent, well-paced, and I loved the characterization of Matthew so much! Bonus points awarded for making me truly understand the appeal of primal play.

Title: Realignment Author: HigherMagic Word Count: 23,120 Summary: Hannibal has a daddy kink. This was easy enough when he was younger - plenty of men were eager to take a pretty-faced, arrogant youth in hand. But as he got older, people started to see him differently, even though his own tastes and kinks never changed. He started to attract men who expected him to take the lead, and it just felt awkward to try and broach the subject. Then he met Will Graham.

As I said, I can't resist a well-executed daddy kink, but I was surprised to find out how much I enjoyed Hannibal calling Will daddy.

Title: Mark Me Not A Savage Author: KatherineKrawl Word Count: 401,953 Summary: When Will opens Hannibal's letter, it wakes something primal locked inside of him. He doesn't understand it, but what he does know is that he has to go to Baltimore hospital for the criminally insane, and he has to go now. Dear Will. He could still see the words, written in the curly elegance of Hannibal's hand, burning behind his eyelids. He breathed deeply through his nose to try and calm the unsteady flutter of his heart. A deep breath. One that clawed at his nose, one that penetrated his nostrils like a liquid, a smothering sting he felt intruding behind his eyes. One. Deep. Breath. And then it took him.

An INCREDIBLE omegaverse fic that convinced me hannigram was made for ABO dynamics. Not only was the smut incredible, but the author brilliantly incorporated their canonical mind melding and retooled it for the omegaverse. I think I also set a new reading record by reading this in under 48 hours.

Title: Kindling Author: gleamingandwholeanddeadly (something_safe) Word Count: 10,281 Summary: “You should take a date to your fundraiser." “Yes, perhaps you’re right. It would be improper to invite someone under false pretence, mind, and for my patient to understand, the evidence would need to be… compelling.” “Perhaps an ex-girlfriend,” Will says, unsure why the thought makes him feel flat and remote. “That would be incredibly inappropriate.” “A friend then. Someone you can explain the problem to. You could take-” “You,” Hannibal interjects. The words belly-flop into silence. Will’s mouth opens, and then closes, and then opens again. When Franklyn's advances of friendship become too much for even Hannibal to politely ignore, he enlists Will's help.

Another favorite trope: fake dating. This fic just had me giggling and smiling the entire time and I loved it. I feel moderately bad for Franklyn as a character and yet... I love when Hannibal and Will flaunt their relationship in front of him. Sue me.

Title: Nothing For It... Author: phenobarbital Word Count: 11,360 Summary: ...not thinking to consult Hannibal on the matter, Will went ahead with venting his anger and he thudded the headboard against the wall again, before pressing his lips together and letting out a loud humming moan, which he trailed off into an ‘aaah’ sound as he parted his lips. He didn’t even glance behind him, totally missing the startled and intrigued look on Hannibal’s face as he made another humming moan and thudded the headboard lightly again.

GOOD GRIEF. This fic left me UNWELL. In the best possible way. We love making homophobes uncomfortable, and if it leads to accidentally having sex? Oh noooo. Also, Beverly makes an appearance at the very end and she's great. Love her.

Title: Transcendent Suffering Author: itsbeautiful Word Count: 484,659 Summary: Blue eyes closed suddenly against Hannibal’s searching gaze, sucking in a breath, body going rigid. “You can’t say things like that to me, Hannibal. You cannot glorify the dark impulses inside of me and call them… beautiful.” Will stared up at the ceiling, head thrown back as if struggling to breathe, fragile and bending against the sound of his voice. “You can’t. You just can’t say them.” “Only the celestial moon and I have truly seen you bathed in blood, savoring the darkness, embracing your becoming, and I can assure you it was truly breathtaking.”

I can't remember the last time I read a fic that was as deeply gut-wrenching as this one. I cried. Multiple times. If you like incredibly well done, character-driven stories, this is IT. And the author also wrote some of the most romantic stuff I've ever read, ever. I will be processing this fic for the foreseeable future.

Title: Love Is What You Make It – A two part series! Author: orphaned on ao3 Word Count: 181,771 (both parts combined) Summary: Will and Hannibal make their way to Hannibal's safe house in New Hampshire a couple days after their plunge off the cliff and plot their next move, Will coming to terms with the fact that he is committed to it this time.

A twofer!! And oh my god this was TENDER. I am a sucker for fics that really explore Will and Hannibal's emotional journey post-fall and I think this did an incredible job of realistically portraying that, while still being indulgent. The first fic is very character-driven, and the second part is more plot-heavy. Both are so good! I found myself actively taking breaks just to make it last longer.

And lastly, the honorable mention(s)!

Title: Hannigram: Cuts Unscene -- Season 1 Author: DBMars Word Count: 71,097 Summary: Cuts Unscene is a Hannigram fanfiction challenge – to write one scene for each episode of the series where Will and Hannibal have some kind of intimate interaction that builds their romantic connection. These stories operate on the concept that they were scenes cut from the original episodes, and the attempt is to make them fit into the plot in ways that are as plausible as possible while still having a good ol’ time writing them. The devil is in the details!

Okay WOW, this is the first of four (one per season, and then an imagined season 4), and I am so deeply impressed with how the author made these truly feel like cut scenes from the actual show. The only reason I'm not giving a full five stars is because I want to actually rewatch a couple episodes and pause to read some of the cut scenes to really assess how well they fit into the overall plot. I'll hopefully have an update on this at some point in the future!

~

And that's all she wrote, folks! Feel free to let me know what y'all are reading and what I should read next :)

[fuckyeahgoodomensfanfic]

Good Omens Fic Rec: Time Marches Forward

Our story follows Aziraphale as he toils alone in Heaven to thwart the Second Coming while Crowley, back on Earth, encounters a powerful and frightened 15-year-old Adam Young in desperate need of guidance. One of the infinite possibilities for how the Good Omens story can end. With some twists, and some angst, and lots of character development.

Length: 128,201 words

AO3 Rating: Mature

Best for: Safe in Public, Slight Angst, Post S2

Triggers: Temporary Character Death (kind of)

Read it here, fic by Bellisima_writes

*Minor Spoilers* I need everyone to read this story and marvel at the fact that this is the author's first fic! I am astounded by the quality of this story. It's cinematic, clever, and creative. It constructs a world that fits seamlessly into the canon while introducing its own truly interesting concepts. If you're looking for a Season Three "what if", this is a must-read!

Our story starts immediately after the Final 15. Aziraphale arrives in Heaven and already things are suspicious. I really love that this story goes with the route of taking things mostly at face value. It's not until the Second Coming line that Aziraphale truly kicks into gear, fully understanding the threat he's under. Crowley meanwhile finds himself in Tadfield, where a 15 year old Adam Young is in desperate need of some guidance. I won't spoil the plot; it's best experienced as it unfolds. This is a long story, but the pacing and plotting are brilliant, the time will fly by so easily. I read way past the time I was supposed to stop without even realizing it!

The characterizations are all excellent here. Adam in particular is one of the best uses I've seen with him. There is a character introduced that he will parallel with beautifully. Both placed into positions they did not ask for, tasked with things they do not want, and burdened with unbearable responsibility. It was a really insightful bit of characterization, and made me look at that "new" character in a way I never have before. Adam's new relationship with Crowley was such a beautiful and heartwarming plotline. He needed Crowley in his life, to help guide him, to understand his powers, and how he fits into the world. Crowley needed him just as much.

Crowley and Aziraphale's characterizations are top notch as well. It was effortless to read this in their voices, and just be prepared for this story's 1941...ouch. Actually a lot of what Aziraphale went through here broke my heart. This story creates a phenomenon called, "The Void." It's as ominous as it sounds, and puts Aziraphale through the ringer. As much as it hurt, it was also a really interesting concept. I'm so relived that Aziraphale will be taken care of now.

Seriously, what an excellent story this was. This is a more action based plot, and every twist and turn kept me right on my toes. Safe in public, and while there's some hints of angst, it's not a heavy story. If this is what a first fic can be, I can't wait to read this author's second!

Read it here, fic by Bellisima_writes

[osarina]

I didn't want to comment my reply again on the civilian dazai fic but OMG FYO IT WAS REALLY GOOD

I will say it deffo felt much light hearted and had a friday fellthan waterloo and even wykyk but I think that's cause the ✨️drama✨️ btwn them hadn't started yet and also the fact that I know they aren't doomed by the narrative (you) this time 💀

But I am liking the way it is going it already has me hooked and I am so very excited 😊 and God damn I LOVE love the reader so much. She's much more badass and ahhhh dazai is so cute and pathetic I lub him <3

Also fun fact after my 3 hour exam and after 2 sleepless nights, I did the exam well and came rushing home and held myself to read this awesomeness before sleeping for like 8 hours straight. When I woke up I read it again not in a sleepy haze to get the full experience XD that's how much I love your quality top notch fics

I think the reader's ability is a great and beautiful choice. It's not overpowering to change the plot or invite plot holes but powerful enough to impact everyday life. It really keeps me asking if the reader is using her ability on a certain situation or not and I really love that feature.

Anyways hope your life is going well 😊 and dont forget to eat healthily

P.s. : Do you have a fixed schedule to upload wasteland like waterloo or is it not fixed? And sorry for making the asks so long 😅

TUMBLR USER SILVERSNOW2000 HELLO MY LOVE I ADORE YOU, YOU NEVER HAVE TO APOLOGIZE FOR SENDING LONG ASKS I LOVE THEM

AHHHHHH I'M SO GLAD U ENJOYED IT ive had soooooo much fun writing civzai and pmreader. IT'S DEFINITELY MUCH MORE LIGHTHEARTED THAN ANY OF THE OTHER SERIES SO FAR but don't worry the drama starts in the next chapter LOLLLL and it doesn't slow down from there. THEY DON'T DIE THO i feel like i have to say this every time LOLLLLL

YESSSSS PM READER IS SO FUN TO WRITE like she's alwaysssss fun to write but it's particularly fun being able to write her from the viewpoint of dazai as a civilian who isn't like used to seeing her already. like she's very similar in the original universe but dazai has known her for so long there that he's become used to her yk, meanwhile this dazai sees her in a very fresh light if u get what i mean. it's the change in perspective that's so fun to write here

AND OMG IM GLAD - i was so conflicted about how to phrase/what to make her ability because i didn't want to make it too op but at the same time .. she's a port mafia executive, she needs to have a pretty notable ability, and then i was like wait ... her whole thing is politics and negotiations, so obviously it has to be something along the lines of fucking with ppl's minds/brains, but i needed to obviously whittle that down because mind control is just too ridiculous, so i got the idea of her being able to like induce emotions + states onto people BUT they're able to draw themselves out of it if they have the strength for it.

some things are easier to brush off, but other things aren't. like she can put people to sleep with her ability and they can't really drag themselves out of that because now they're sleeping, and inducing fear in particular is pretty hard for people to draw themselves out of because it spirals quickly. but for negotiations and stuff, when she's making them feel as if she's more trustworthy/more susceptible to taking bad terms, she has to be SO careful & calculated with her every word because any small thing could make them double take and jar them out of the induced state.

actually, in civzai universe, it's going to be really interesting because without dazai there to stop chuuya from using corruption, reader and chuuya had to figure out a way to knock him out of it themselves - which they DID and it involves her ability but it's SOOOO dangerous for her so they end up not really using corruption often. this actually comes up in the next chapter

i dont have a set schedule! i'm going to shoot for every other friday max though!

[asecretvice]

hi 👋 fully and deeply entranced by “and this, your living kiss,” i’ve read it a few times at this point. i was curious about the dennis brutus poem that dean quotes in cas’ office. do you know where one can read the whole thing? my scouring of his work online has turned up nothing! it’s the untitled [the sand wet and cool] one

Actual footage of me reading this ask:

Like, you have asked me about Dennis Brutus! Thank you!! Feel free to ask more!

But to answer your question, I know several years ago I was able to finagle it on google books when I didn't have access to Poetry & Protest: A Dennis Brutus Reader. But why fuss with that when I can just copy it out here for you myself straight from that book? I highly, HIGHLY recommend reading it out loud, as the sonic qualities are top-notch! Forewarning of dark themes. Without further ado:

The sand wet and cool darkening from yellow to where it was damp, from a lioness-yellow to darkness, like ash or the shadowy underside of a mushroom

and to lounge in such sand, by the sea, uncaring scuffing bare heels in the seasand with the hard ridge of the heel, half-calloused, half-feeling the cold cool in warmgold folds, over silkchill skeins

and here to thrust out the legs to feel the jar in thighflesh and flanks and through this breakthrough of thighs to find true fuller freedom of loins and thews a great freedom of the groin— an unfolding upflowering of the flesh—

hair uncaring of sand, of shellpowder broken twigs and dirt; and to feel the keening of the cold the ghost of the spray, the spume, the salt— a cold glitter as of crystals and knives in the brightness and vagrant warmth of the day:

one assents to the brightness of the day, its perfection and warmth acquiescing in the cold in its essence sharp as a shell-blade and menacing while the shadows grow long and gray and cold, one accepts the voluptuous splendor of that day

of an imaginary day and of an untrue innocent idyll that never happened and a perfection of sensuality we never knew but which they created by report by alleging this was our act and our guilt:

and straightway by the evocation of their charge it was real and true; and we entered into that sensual idyll that sunlit sensuous voluptuousness of luxurious indulgence in lush-ripe flesh:

we were guilty then accepting the untrue as the real; so our pursuers, our enemies became our donors, generous friends: one perfect sunlit day was ours: the forbidden idyll became the real: we had our beach, our sea, our sun, the stolen sensuous carnal delight and the spray-bright, spume-chill, bladed air.

[Dated January 19, 1970; published 1973.]

Though you didn't ask, I will copy out the other Dennis Brutus poem mentioned, in case people are curious about that one as well:

Milkblue—tender the moonlit midnight sky; receive me now my sleeping love. Lovelaughter—gentle, a luminous glow arches from circling horizoning hills to this plain your tremulous breast exposes:

So, gentle and tender I brood and bow over your scent, your hid springs of mirth and know here in this dusk, secret and still I can bend and kiss you now, my earth.

[1970]

I will stop there since this fulfills your brief, but seriously...if anyone wants to actually talk about this stuff, or have me go off on a related subject...my inbox is open. (people like and/or reblog the post with all the footnotes and sources and whatnot, but no one ever asks about anything in it...please...)

PS—Absolutely thrilled you enjoy my fic! To hear you've read it multiple times is just incredible. Thank you <3 I hope you enjoy the poetry!

[megamindsupremacy]

Do you have any Spiderman fic recs? (Preferably not MCU but. I'm not picky)

YES ofc. Let me dig through my bookmarks for some. Warning- most of them will be Team Red fics because that’s where I interacted most with the Marvel fandom back in the day. Also, coming back after making this, unfortunately most are at least a little bit MCU influenced but I tried to stay away from the tropier/irondad/ooc fics

-

Inimitable by deniigiq

“Peter, is it supposed to be doing that?” One of his students asked him. He looked up to see the industrial-strength magnets he’d collected for this lab trying to crack through the glass between them to be reunited. The glass splintered.

“Yeah, no. That’s totally fine,” he lied. Then he inconspicuously chased everyone to the corner of the lab, donned a glove, and smashed the glass so that it wouldn’t splinter and stab someone in the eye in its explosion.

His students cheered.

He needed a drink.

(Peter gets called back to the city at the age of 25 to help mitigate the rapidly increasing crime rate. He's in way over his head, so he sets out to re-establish Team Red.)

(Classic Team Red fic, this author got me into the fandom years ago and I’ve been stuck since)

-

Say You Will, Say You Won’t by Traincat

Johnny Storm found him on a Friday afternoon, wearing the kind of beseeching look that filled Peter with dread.

“I need to ask you a favor,” he said.

“No,” Peter said, swinging away.

__

Peter and Johnny get married, really-not-really.

(A classic Spidertorch fic, absolutely hilarious and not even a little bit MCU-touched)

-

Peter Parker: Legend of Empire State by Popjeckdoom

There was a dorm room, at the end of the third floor hallway on the male side of student housing, that was a mystery to all the students of Empire State. #339, Peter Parker.

The dorm itself wasn’t strange. It wasn’t haunted or cursed in any way, or as far as anyone knew. The door looked like everyone else’s; a doodle of Spidey on the whiteboard, a random scratch at the bottom left corner of the door, likely from someone moving in, etc. What made this ordinary room into a legend was it’s mysterious inhabitant, whom many believed did not even exist.

Peter Parker. The Criptid of Empire State.

(Technically incomplete, but it’s a series of oneshots so do with that what you will)

-

Dumpster Fires Verse by deniigiq

Peter and May receive a notice to vacate.

The other guys on Team Red have been there before, they offer a bit of advice.

(Another deniigiq classic, it’s a series of interconnected fics that don’t need to be read together to make sense)

-

Can you hear the drumming? (there’s a revolution coming) by Crescent_Blues

"You know how to throw a punch?"

Peter stops fidgeting and his heartbeat slows as he breathes deep and forces it to calm. The endorphins aren't quite there yet but he can almost taste the excitement, the hopefulness. Like carmel, like yellow, like tacky sweetness.

"Don't tuck your thumb into your hand and keep your wrist and arm straight?"

He has the basics.

That's a good start.

Right?

(Matt accidentally acquires one Peter Parker at the ripe old age of eleven and becomes the mentor he never wanted to be)

(This one comes courtesy of my friend Moon, who will kill me if he knew I was reccing his fic, but the writing style and quality is top notch so I refuse to stop. Also incomplete, but there’s 160k words before you get to the end so there’s a lot to read)

-

Peter Parker’s Home for the Wayward Villain by BeanieBaby

A really long redemption story.

(Another classic, Peter buys a house and adopts+reforms like 90% of the Marvel villains)

-

Roundabout by Gruoch

“Are you being killed right now?” Tony asks. “Am I listening to your final moments?”

“Maybe,” Peter chokes out, weakly pedaling his legs in the air while he futilely scrambles to pry the hand away from his throat.

Tony releases a sharp huff, irritated. “You are absolutely not allowed to die right now. Your graduation is a month away. Pepper’s moved around all her meetings to be free that day, and I’ve already given the deposit to the catering company for your party. I can’t get it back if I have to cancel now because of your untimely demise.”

***

In which Peter attempts to survive long enough to graduate, Tony moonlights as a semi-professional party planner, and absolutely nothing goes according to plan.

(This one is just. Peter Parker’s terrible horrible no good very bad day but in the best way)

-

Spider Season by selador

Peter Parker is Ben Urich's intern at the Bulletin. He's alright, as far as interns go. Bad coffee, but he fights crime bosses who want Ben dead. That wins a lot of points with Ben, that's for sure.

(Mostly follows the plot of DD s1 but still a great fic)

-

WHAT sugar daddy(s)??? By o1nm

"I've never really thought about it," Peter sniffs, gazing sadly into his mostly empty cup. "Maybe uh... maybe somebody who buys me milkshakes whenever I want? I don't know."

MJ's eyebrows twitch minutely. "Really?"

"Yup," Peter says lightly, "really," despite the fact that he feels like he just signed some sort of demonic treaty. "Hey, do you think we could circle back and -"

"I'll go get you another," MJ tells him as she snatches his previous milkshake, dropping it in a trashcan on her way as she sashays back to the ice-cream store.

...Weird.

(*slaps roof of Peter* this boi can fit so much autism in him. But honestly he’s so oblivious throughout, it’s amazing)

-

Always Glad You Came by aloneintherain

Spider-Man is a relatively new, controversial vigilante, and Johnny has a crush the size of the Empire Building. The Four - operating under the assumption that Spidey is an adult - do not approve.

“I just happen to think Spider-Man's cool,” Johnny says, matter-of-factly. “A hero can think another hero is cool without making it weird. I admire his aloofness. And his badass-ness.”

“His aloofness,” Ben repeats, chuckling into his mug of beer. It’s roughly the size of Johnny’s head. “Yeah, sure, I bet that’s all your admire, right?”

(Another Spideytorch classic, with So Many Misunderstandings it’s amazing they can walk straight)

[rays-of-fire-and-ice]

Rays! Not sure if you’ve talked about this already, but it’s always a great time to talk about HitsuHina. This time HitsuHina and music! I love how in the Bleach Musicals, there’s so much HitsuHina (and GinRan) content! Especially in the last of the original musicals/cast Bleach Code:003. I mean Bengara Koushi is a given (an actual love duet between HitsuHina and GinRan) and is almost always sung in all the versions, but I also love how in Code 003 Hitsugaya and Renji sing about their childhood friends in Hajimari no Hi (Those Beginning Days). When Hitsugaya sings about how his heart was enclosed in ice, and how Hinamori gave her days and was like a spring breeze, it’s just so sweet (especially with how he goes back to calling her Bedwetter Momo since he was miffed she didn’t like his glasses, li’l bit of KiraHina there too when Kira was jealous of Hanatarou with Hinamori). “This Light I See” is also obviously a HH song, but I was intrigued with some interpretations that “Momoiro no Hana” could be one too! See in the beginning, Momo sings about being in front of someone she wants to protect (so I’m assuming she’s talking about Aizen), but later on she sings about how she “dimly watches over someone’s valiant back” and how “the scattered flower petals fall on that person’s courageous back” which makes me think she’s singing about Hitsugaya now. My personal interpretation was always how the strong rainstorm referred to Aizen while the frozen winds referred to Hitsugaya, but while the scattered flower petals could refer to her (being that her name and zanpakuto’s name refer to flowers), it could also refer to Hitsugaya’s bankai. I personally think that the line “dimly watching your valiant back” refers to when she nearly died after being stabbed by Aizen and Hitsugaya was in front of her raging against the former. What do you think?

It's outrageous that this has been in my inbox for as long as it has and I have yet to answer it. For that, I deeply apologize! >_<

All of what you said is top-notch! As it's been a long time since I last saw the musicals, I'll just give my thoughts on the character songs. This will probably end up becoming more an appreciation post for the songs rather than an analysis, as you've pretty much covered that part, but here we go!

There's something I want acknowledge upfront: like any piece of media in a language that's foreign to the listen/viewer, it can hard to know about the nuances in said language. The translator for Momoiro no Hana even acknowledges that some of the lyrics may not be as literal as they were translated. Because of this, I'm giving my interpretation as an English speaker looking at the translated lyrics. If anyone can tell me any nuances they see in the Japanese lyrics that might be key to understanding the songs, please feel free to share.

With that said, let's get to it!

This Light I See

Ah, this one takes me back. I come back and listen to it every now and then, particularly for writing fics. I wholeheartedly agree that This Light I See is a hitsuhina song, but I can also understand some saying it's actually about Hyourinmaru too.

Throughout the song, Toshiro is reflecting on a figure who 'believes in everyone' but is also lonely. He also brings up an 'unwavering light', and how it both inspires him to be stronger while also expressing, pleading, for it comfort him in his confusion. He also refers to this light as being 'lonely', calling it a 'lonely light' in the second chorus. He also asks for different things based on the quality he gives the light:

1st Chorus:

I'm believing this light I see Unwavering light, Please guide me as I call out to you

2nd Chorus:

I'm believing this light I see Lonely light, Please embrace me in my confusion

For the first chorus is retty straight forward: the unwavering light is strong and steady, and is thus able to act as a guide to Toshiro when he calls out to it.

In the second chorus, has asks the lonely like to 'embrace [him] in his ] confusion'. First off, loneliness needs company, so hence wanting to embrace the light. But what is this confusion? Is it about what to do with his powers (we'll get more into that below) or about the situation he's in right now (Momo heartbroken by Aizen's betrayal, Toshiro going through his own turmoil and angry at the effect Aizen had on Momo)? I'd love to know your and anyone else's thoughts on this.

There's also lyrics pertaining to his inner workings, with verses such as:

The cold night breeze gets caught in my eyes As meaningless memories flow over me Shouting harsh words to the sky I still have the taste of blood on my tongue

Gradually believing in a daily life founded only on strength I know that this time the only thing I win is emptiness From my tiny heart I laugh aloud Please let me get a little stronger

I'll go over these verses first before diving into whether he is speaking about Hyourinmaru or Momo. The first verse expresses Toshiro being ponderous, but also frustrated, shouting 'harsh words to the sky' while having 'the taste of blood on [his] tongue'. For me, it suggests a battle he recently engaged in and his anger (rage, even) at having lost.

'Meaningless memories' is a hard one honestly, because I remember I had this out-there interpretation once that it was him recalling memories of Aizen (ie remember memories of the Aizen he once knew, before he revealed his entire persona to have been fake, hence any memories of him become 'meaningless') and combined with the fresh loss to the traitor, it enrages him. I'd love to know your thoughts or anyone else's thoughts on what it could mean.

The second speaks to his view on himself, at how he believes himself to be weak and wants desperately to get stronger. Him winning emptiness could again express his loss to Aizen, but I'm think it's that he's saying he isn't strong enough, that the strength he wants and needs just isn't here, or maybe it's both. Him laughing aloud is his way of trying to show external this [perceived] lack of strength doesn't affect him, but the next lyric betrays this by showing on the inside he pleads to get stronger. It could also be a reference to chapter 224, where Toshiro teases Momo and tries to take her mind off Aizen, deflecting away from how he truly feels upon seeing her.

Now, Momo is undoubtedly mentioned in this song (we'll get to the lyrics pertaining to her in a minute), but I've seen a few people say the song is actually about Toshiro and relationship with Hyourinmaru. For the Hyourinmaru argument, we have the fact that he came to Toshiro as a piercing like in his dreams. He is often seen as a guide for Toshiro, as the being who tried to guide him towards his potential and powers. With Toshiro asking the 'unwavering light' to 'guide [Toshiro] as [he calls] out to [the unwavering light]', it's easy to see this as Hyourinmaru. There's aslo the fact that this song is about Toshiro himself, and Hyourinmaru is a manifestation of Toshiro's soul, intrinsically connected to him and who he is.

Now on to the Momo argument. Without a doubt, Toshiro states again and again throughout the song that he wants to protect her; but what do the lyrics have to say about Momo (or at least, how Toshiro views Momo here)?:

'The one who had a habit of saying "Believe in everyone" Is saddened from the depths of her heart Having power that should protect her can hurt her What should I do with these hands?

When I had a habit of saying "I'll live alone" She smiled at me with a lonely looking smile Having power to understand her can forsake her What should I do with these hands?

For the first verse, Toshiro reflects on who Momo is as a person, and how her once happy-go-lucky attitude towards others has been replaced by sadness, to the point that it's to heart now. He laments that having the power to protect her also has the potential to harm her, speaking of the enormity of Hyourinmaru's powers (and acting as foreshadowing maybe?? Or a self fulfilling prophecy??). Here his intention is clear: he wants to protect her, but he fear harming her further with that same power.

Then there's the second verse, and oh boy! Again Toshiro tries to hide how he truly feels, saying 'I'll live alone' to hide his loneliness and the low self esteem he's harboured sine the children and residents in the Junrinan treated him differently. Momo's lonely looking smile could be a show of her own loneliness, or of mayeb feeling rejected by Toshiro when says he'll 'live alone'. However, I personally think Toshiro doesn't realise it, but Momo can see through his bravado; she can see he is a lonely boy who is trying to appear tougher than he actually is, and her lonely smile is a reflection of sympathy or empathy for him.

Now what about having the power to understand her? I admit, I don't really know for this one and I'd love to know anyone's thoughts on it. If I had to take a guess, it's his worry that if he understood her, he might somehow harm her further.

Then there's the lyric that gets repeated in both verses: What do I do with these hands? Toshiro has always been a practical person. He has a lot of emotions running through him, and his emotional immaturity makes it that his temper flies off the handle and he has a hard time expressing himself for most of the series. Because of this, I wouldn't feel surprised if he struggles to comfort or show his others through words (though he definitely has his moments, thank you for pointing this out @troius). As a result, he likely shows his care for Momo by vowing to protect her, using the powers he has and through more practical means. When Toshiro is wondering what to do with his hands, I think he's unsure about how be can protect her, how he can show he cares with harming her somehow.

To him, her physical protection guarantees her mental and emotional protection. He knows how to fight, and he lacks the confidence to console her through words, so he will use these powers, as deadly as they may be and with the potential to harm her, to protect her and understand her.

Another thing to note is, the song is structured as such:

Verse about Toshiro's internal workings and how he's feeling Verse about Momo Unwavering light chorus Verse about Toshiro's internal workings and how he's feeling Verse about Momo (where he mentions her lonely looking smile) Lonely light chorus Chant about releasing his powers and believing in the light Final chorus featuring the unwavering and lonely lights

It's with this structure in we could make the argument that the song is about both Hyourinmaru and Momo. In various materials they are connected in certain ways. On track 8 of the drama CD, Toshiro learns the name of his zanpakuto because of his wish to protect Momo. He strengthened Hyourinmaru to better protect Momo. Heck, we even have this lyric which basically says Momo is the key to unleashing his powers:

The weakest part of me releases the most powerful prayer Up to the place where the heavens end

The weakest part of me releases the most powerful emotions To the place before the darkness

I mean, there aren't many character that release Toshiro's 'most powerful emotions', and the instants we have seen of this are with Momo, soooo...

There's also the fact Toshiro frets that Hyourinmaru's power, his power, can harm her. In the end, without him knowing, it does. But what does he do in response to harming her with Hyourinmaru's power? He reaffirms his will to protect her, trains to have better control of his bankai and strengthen it, and the Completed form is now a thing. The weakest part of him ended up releasing the most powerful prayer indeed.

Momoiro no Hana

I must admit, I rarely go back and listen to Momoiro no Hana. It almost feels sacrilegious as a Momo fan, but I don't know, I don't think the song is my cup of tea. But we're not here to discuss tastes in music!

I very much agree with your interpretation of the song, but I'll elaborate on why.

Momo's song is her incarnate; it can be a heartbreaker to read, but there's hope there and a will to overcome things that harm her. We see moments of her self sacrificing nature and caring for other before herself:

[I'll] Tenderly and graciously bloom with pride With a smile as high as the sky Even if I get all the power And lose it while I protect

Here she is likely referring to Aizen, as [if I'm not mistaken] at the time this song came out, she was still in deep denial about her ex-captain's truly self, so she would still want to protect him, or at least the image she has of him. However, there's also just enough evidence in the manga to show that when push comes to shove, Momo would've protected Aizen from danger.

But there's also this vow to herself that she will get stronger:

Tenderly and graciously blooming with pride With a smile as high as the sky I will always be one step in front of you Because I want to protect you

I want to bloom without fail Even in those overly rainy days Even in those frozen windy days The pink flower petals sway

Throughout the song, Momo goes from saying that the petals 'fall' or 'scatter' to saying they 'sway' indicating that aren't getting caught in the wind of being forced away from the flower. It shows strength and resilience, that she's learning to stand on her own and not get caught up in the turmoil she is going through.

Then there's her use of rain and frozen winds. I definitely see her has being the flower (related to her zanpakuto name and also because she says she wants to 'bloom without fail'), the rain is Aizen (also based on his zanpakuto name Kyoka Suigetsu, 'Mirror Flower, Water Moon'), and the frozen winds is Toshiro (because, you know, ice-type zanpakuto and just him in general). The petals are where it gets interesting, because as you said, we can interpret this as being either Momo and her getting caught up in the turmoil around her, or Toshiro because of his bankai. I peronally think it's used for both at different.

The lyrics I always come back to are these ones:

Inside the strong rainstorm Inside the frozen winds I dimly watch your valiant back The scattered flower petals pass forth

Amidst the strong rainstorm Amidst the frozen winds The scattered flower petals fall on Your courageous back

Since I first read these lyrics, chapter 170 always comes to mind. In this moment, Momo is dying, and all she can do is 'dimly watch' as Toshiro confronts Aizen, his back facing her. Toshiro's bankai has also been translated as 'Crimson Lotus' (so, ya know, petals), and his transformation involved frozen winds. What I find interesting is the petals at first 'pass forth', but in the second verse, they 'fall on' someone. I remember another my out-there takes on this being Momo is giving Toshiro her support, seeing that he too is going hard times and believes in him.

Some commonalities?

What I find fascinating is that both songs start with Toshiro and Momo reflecting on memories, and they aren't really happy ones:

This Light I See: The cold night breeze gets caught in my eyes / As meaningless memories flow over me

Momoiro no Hana: In that quiet moment I remember the times / Wonderful times, regretful times

It shows both of them are reflective, thinking about the past and and as we see the songs go on, trying to come to terms with the present. Both of their songs reveal their weaknesses, and their determination to get stronger.

These songs are about what it means to be stronger and what it takes from them to overcome their trials. Throughout, Toshiro talks about an 'unwavering light', while Momo talks about wanting to 'bloom without fail'. However, Toshiro also brings up a 'lonely light' while Momo mentions 'looking at the sky all alone' and 'scattered petals', showing the moments of turmoil in their journeys to become stronger.

We've also got them both having similar moments involving the sky:

This Light I See: Shouting harsh words to the sky / I still have the taste of blood on my tongue

Momoiro no Hana: Looking up at the sky all alone / Feeling my heart break It shows their reactions to the trauma that's happened to them: Toshiro got angry, Momo was heartbroken.

And that's all I have to say on the songs. I'd love to know other people's interpretations of either song, or just your thoughts in general about the songs.

Thanks for sending this in!

[josiebelladonna]

blood & chocolate

pairing: alex skolnick/eric peterson

warnings : creator chose not to archive

tags: food kink, food as metaphor for love, belly kink, weight gain, weight issues, food porn, body image, body worship, obsessive behavior, obsession, mind manipulation, mind games, sensual play, sensuality, you will get hungry reading this mark my words, praise kink, bondage, threesome - m/m/m, sadism, this is not going to go the way you think

summary: That Skolnick boy, with his stone face and gray streak, he is almost impenetrable. That is, until Eric discovers a slight notch in his armor on a mere whim.

word count: 2326 (so far!!)

ao3 link

notes: THE RETURN OF BLOOD & CHOCOLATE! i’ve been kicking around this arc of what i feel should have been the real thing since early june. i have to confess to you guys, i’m a little uncomfortable sharing this particular kink with the world because it’s one of my main ones (a kinky girl in a vanilla world 🫣). i think i might make some art for this one, too: we shall see and i’ll keep y’all updated on that. i just think about how alex is bit of a health nut—and his protruding tummy will tell you otherwise 😜 (health at every size, sure, but i’ll let the fic be the judge, though). given the nature, i beg that you read at your own risk. the sexuality is very understated but it’s kinky as holy hell, so explicit rating is on. based on my own predilections or not, this is still a work of fiction.by the way, you will get hungry reading this: notably, i write chapters while i’m hungry just to amplify it 😂

He was the kind of boy whom you only read about before in those guitar player magazines on the back shelf in the grocery store. He seemed to have come from another world altogether, a world that gave us the fastest, most fantastic fingers to dream of. That little plume of gray at the crown of his head only further indicated of his otherworldly qualities. The way he sashayed and moved about utterly hypnotized and mesmerized everyone, including me. 

So I was told, especially when I went about with business as usual in the grocery store. I saw him on the cover and I sighed through my nose.

Some day I would have my own moment in the sun. Some day, somehow, by some dark magic, I would do it. I would reach the same top that Alex did.

He was my band mate, my kid brother, my everything. He had those long, spidery fingers that crept and crawled about on the fretboard, and he moved about as if his ass was in fire. Sometimes, I’ll listen to those early solos that he performed for me, Steve, Lou, and Derrick, and we salvaged them on tape, and I’ll get goosebumps all up and down my spine. Though I made a promise to myself that things were decent between me and him, I still had my moments, especially when I noticed how much more attention he was garnering in comparison to me and Louie, the actual founders of the band.

A part of me wanted to merely forget it, because damn it, we let him in. We made our bed and thus, we have to lay in it. He also was like the antithesis of the lead guitarist: where most of them were known for going out and getting some ass with booze and coke rolled into one single cocktail, Alex went home and curled up with a book to read and a cup of coffee, or he went home and had dinner with his parents and his grandmother.

The boy barely turned eighteen: of course he was going to have coffee over the really hard stuff.

And yet, I still had an itch I couldn’t hardly scratch. I wanted to be at the top, and I wanted to be seen for my deeds, and I wanted Lou to be seen, too. Damn it, we expanded the platform and this new boy from the ‘burbs was stealing our thunder with his own properly trained stuff and things.

But let me tell you: the boy loved to eat.

He was Jewish, and so I figured that most of it had to do with the fact that he grew up under the direction of his elder professor parents, who lived on teachers’ salaries and they lived over in the really suburban neighborhood of Berkeley. Everything I knew about Jewish cuisine was the humility of it all: I had had my share of matzo ball soup from the bakery not too far from my house.

Delicious, but quite humble. The same could be said for Challah bread, or latkes, or any kind of babka.

When I was in school, my mom taught me how to cook: being half-Mexican, it’s kind of a big deal. I kind of have to know these things, especially if I wanted to live my best life with the band that I had founded with my cousin and one of my bestest friends. But she taught me how to make tortillas from scratch as well as chorizo without breaking the bank. Given I was often practicing and doing all things musical, I had very little time to go about and make lunch or dinner for my parents or my band mates. I could make breakfast willy-nilly, but I could only do so much with an egg and a piece of toast, or a bowl of cereal with a cup of coffee and a glass of juice. There were some days where all I felt like doing was swinging by a place like the Golden Arches and picking up one of those egg sandwiches on an English muffin, but I also yearned for the tenderness of home, the sweet comfort of knowing where your food came from.

Most of all, the comfort and coziness of home itself.

Home had become more or less of a strange place to me when I thought about it, as I had moved out of my parents’ house about four years ago and Lou and his girlfriend had a little nest of their own in the apartment three doors down. It was strange the more that I thought about it, and the more that I wanted Lou to be in on it, too. He and I had known each other for about that long, and I was eager to make him a little more than my proverbial brother.

I thought for sure that Lou would want to be in on it, especially when we got to discussing homemade food one evening during a rehearsal, back when we were still called Legacy. He was behind his drum kit and I sat there on a stool with my guitar perched across my lap.

“When I was little, my mom would make me spaghetti and meatballs, but she’d make the meatballs in such a way that they almost melted in your mouth.”

“Really?” I asked him, taken aback. “How’d she make them?”

“I have no clue,” Lou confessed. “I do remember that she put a little bit of chili powder and nutmeg in them, too, just for a little bit of a kick, but the meat itself was so tender and lush. It almost melted in your mouth.” He even licked his lips when he said that.

“Reminds me of my mom’s chorizo,” I added. “The one time it snowed by our house when I was a kid, and she made that stuff so well and it fit the whole entire night so perfectly. I had always wanted to make it the way that she did.”

“Makes me kind of curious about Alex, to be honest,” he said.

“How so?”

“Well, I just think about how thin he is,” Lou clarified. “Thin and stoic, too.”

“He’s probably got some stories of growing up,” I suggested with a shrug of my shoulders. “Growing up fast, though. I would think after he’s had older parents and they both hail from the very heart of New York City.”

But then again, I realized that Alex didn’t have very fond memories of growing up. The quiet kid, bit of an outsider with his heritage and the plume at the top of his head, and a kid who was also rather artistic to boot. The kind of kid I myself had bore witness to in the past, and they always got their asses whooped because they refused to play sports and went with the nourishment of the soul instead.

So, I just wondered what on earth was going to make Alex feel this way, the same way that Lou and I did with our mothers’ food when we were young boys. He told us about it, about life in that part of Berkeley and through his eyes, but he never fully elaborated on anything particularly home-worthy. His parents were reluctant in finding him guitar lessons, first with a neighborhood guy and then with this guy Joe Satriani.

To me, it sounded like he had a very stuffy home life, where it almost felt as though he had been raised by his grandparents than anything. Two very distinct feelings, and they both left quite the impression, especially with him.

Nevertheless, I wanted to blow Alex’s mind with something delicious: all the food that we had taken for ourselves was pretty humble, too, paid for by the label and all its own humility in its own rite.

So, because of this very tidbit here, it’s been a long time coming with all of this. It’s been a long time coming since I had been able to look at him and also Lou, and for me to say to myself that this was the right decision for me. Of course, it’s imperative to find the opportunities at first and thus, they will be almost given to me at the right time.

And there I was, at the grocery store, all to pick up some necessities for myself before I threw myself at the wall with the new music for the album. I said “new music”, granted, but a lot of these songs I had written when Zetro sang with us. 

They would be new to the world at large, as Lou and I both would duly believe.

I carried the little basket by my side and, as I made my way past the baking aisle, something caught my eye. I peered over my shoulder to ensure no one else was headed my way, and I reached for the little packet of matzo meal. I had no idea as to what it was, or what it even tasted like: but I thought of him the very second that I saw it there on the shelf. It helped that poked out a bit from the shelf, as if it beckoned me to pick out for myself.

The package was smooth, and about the size of a bag of coffee grounds: indeed, I opened a little corner of it with the expectation to smell coffee inside of there. I gazed on at the back side, at the little footnote there on the back: a footnote about matzo balls and the accompanying soup, but nothing about the making of said soup. I glimpsed up at the rest of that section, that particular corner of the baking aisle that I had always seen while in passing, but I never scrounged up the courage to graze over for myself.

It felt strange to stand there, this stubby little Hispanic boy with his eye on some food outside of his culture. But everything that I had seen there tickled me, and such in a way that my own culture could not suffice for me.

I had an idea right then, to fuse the best of both worlds, to give Alex a little piece of home while I gave him a little piece of me and my home.

I raised my gaze from the bag of matzo meal to find one of the clerks there before me.

“Excuse me, how do you make matzo soup?” I asked him as he sauntered towards the other side of the aisle.

“Nope, but—I think Elle does, though.” He gestured to the other clerk right behind me, a short lanky brunette with a little Black-eyed Susan pinned to one side of her head.

I thanked him and I scooped up the basket from the floor, and I padded over to her.

She turned to me with a smile on her face: I spotted the Star of David medallion around her neck. I hit the jackpot.

“Hi, do you know how to make matzo ball soup?” I asked her.

“Indeed, I do!” she declared: she set a couple of boxes of day-old pastries on the shelf behind her and she returned to me.

“It’s really simple,” she started as she rubbed her hands together. “Like really simple.”

“I worry about messing it up, though,” I confessed to her with a shy shrug of my shoulders.

“Well, you use matzo meal, eggs, and water to make the dumplings, and then they’re simmered in chicken broth for a time. I would recommend all day just to bring out the flavors a bit more. Also—forgive me if I’m a bit nosy…” Her eyes grazed over my body. “May I ask who’s it for?”

“I want to make a batch for my friend,” I told her. “He’s Jewish and I kinda wanna cook for him.”

“Oh, mazel tov! Well—“ She touched the Star of David around her neck. “—you, my dear, came to the right person.”

I looked on at the packet again at that little footnote on the back. Surely, it could be rather easy.

“Now, does he like the balls light or dense?” And I had to double take when she asked me that.

“Uh, what do you recommend?” I asked her.

“I like a nice balance of the two,” she replied. “Light and fluffy, but neatly packed. When they’re dense, they’re full of flavor. When they’re light, they melt in your mouth.”

“Okay, uh… I’ll take best of both worlds,” I quipped to her. She reached into the front pocket of her apron for a little pad of paper and a pen.

“Excellent! I’m gonna write it all down for ya because, like I said, even though it’s simple, you’re a gentile boy and I want you to make it again if you’d like.” She flashed me a wink and rested the paper on the shelf. All the while, I glanced down at the other groceries in the basket.

I had a feeling I was going to have everything I needed for when I saw him again. I watched her scribble it down for me, and all the while, I had butterflies in my stomach. I was eager to make something for Alex, and I was eager to have Lou with me when the whole thing went down.

Elle then handed me the piece of paper with a sly smile on her face.

“Thank you so much,” I told her.

“Any time, bubbeleh,” she assured me. “If you ever need a little recipe of the Jewish sort, I’m your woman.” She bowed back to the shelves behind her and into the back room for something.

I kept the paper in hand as I returned to the rest of the market behind me.

A nice big bowl of matzo ball soup with a big cup of Mexican hot chocolate. 

I hoped it would work for him.

[taestefully-in-luv]

anon who had to re-read the chapter is back! and I'm on my laptop now to TYPE a lot of things lol

FIRST OF ALL, thank you so much for writing and finishing Love Again!!! Not a jab in any way to writers who weren't able to finish their works (I swear I understand them) but it's just so uncommon to me to find GREAT fics that interest me so much and are completed. In the end, fics are free and we have a lot of things going on in life so for me it's not a big problem at all 😆

I'm a silent reader (I'M SORRY) so I have to say now that I'll re-read the whole story for a minimum of 2 times and I hope you know your works are such a gem that people want to re-read them! If not the first, I think your works are one of the firsts I've read here on tumblr after kinda migrating from ao3 AND MAN did you make me stay here on tumblr! 

I started Love Again I think when you were just on the 2nd chapter?? I'm not sure but looking back wow that's a long time I guess? And I just want to say THANK YOU really for the wonderful work. It made me feel a lot of things and realize a lot of things too! The story is very unique for me and your writing style is just so impeccable 😭 I swear like if you were to publish content, I WILL buy them. Seriously running out of words here to describe how great you write and how easy it is to read AND FEEL but the quality is just top notch like??? You're amazing!!

I can't recall a lot from the previous chapters lol but I swear I always had a great time reading. Because it's the most recent, let me talk about the final chapter and just WOW -- you didn't lie with it tying up ends. I also love how everyone had their scenes but I kinda wished there were more y/n & Jimin moments. THOUGH I know that is just self-indulgent lmao because everything aligns and makes perfect sense already but as you said there will be drabbles so please know that we will be here for them 🥰

I was so on edge with Jimin being sus in chapter 14 like I was ready to expect an exes to exes ending lol but it made so much sense. I also recently finished therapy sessions and I guess the last chapter also made me feel seen in some way that therapy doesn't make you weak but it makes you really have brighter days without disregarding the not so good things that happened in the past hehe.

I don't have a line yet from LA that sticks with me (let me insert again my favorite thing you did in red wherein the meaning of the color red became good at the ending 😭 pls my heart), maybe it's the sepanx lol but please know that I'll always ALWAYS remember and cherish this story! Like a favorite book! Everything I didn't know I'd like in a book is here hehe

That's all for now I guess lol. I'm in anon but you'll always have me following this blog and appreciating all your works! I also always hope that you're doing great or okay! Always take care 💜

[buzzcat]

Fic Rec - Geneviève Nikiforova's Easy Guide on How to Get a Son-in-law, by @crossroadswrite

Fandom: Yuri!!! On Ice (Anime) Wordcount: 6,282 Tags: Victor Nikiforov's Extremely Good Gay Moms, attempted humor, Matchmaking, Meddling Moms, Different First Meetings, Pre-Canon, pre-sochi, Canon Divergence, Vicchan Lives, POV Outsider  Summary: “Are you into power tops, Vitya?” Instead of answering, Vitya chokes on his tea. “Mama!” “Well. Are you?” (Or: Local Dramatic Mom Makes Grindr Account to Find Her Son a Husband, What Happens Next Will Warm Your Heart.) Context for Newbies: Victor and Yuuri are professional ice skaters. Yuuri trains in America, and so is away from home (also known as Yu-topia, a hot springs resort in Hasetsu) for a long time. Victor’s moms are OCs, and also delightful. Note: fic contains scenes of drinking alcohol, in case anyone wants the heads-up

okay, first thing to note is that this fic is actually in a series called “Victor Nikiforov's Extremely Good Gay Moms“, and I would heartily recommend anything in that series. Geneviève and Victoria are just so much fun, Geneviève especially in this fic as the point of view character.

honestly, I love this fic so much just because it’s like eight of my favorite tropes all together. we’ve got a POV character that isn’t the main character from the show, we’ve got an ensemble cast, we’ve got happy families, we’ve got dogs, we’ve got two (two!!) pairs of queer character who are mindblowingly in love with each other. i’ve read this fic easily four or five times, and I love it so much each time because it’s so happy. Geneviève as a character just radiates happiness, so getting this story from her perspective lends a real joy to reading it, regardless of content.

if I had to pick something that makes this fic top-notch, aside from the fact it’s delightful and well-written and the dialogue all absolutely sparkles and I love it, it’s on the strength of these OCs. Geneviève and Victoria’s dynamic is quickly and easily established (seriously I’m rereading the fic now and there’s not a single interaction between that doesn’t tell you they’re ridiculously in love), and anyone familiar with YoI canon can clearly see how these two people would have a son like Victor. (also crossroadswrite is just a really great author, 10/10 would recommend, personally also a huge fan of her BNHA fic “fs in the chat and other forms of emotional support“)

Favorite Line: “We could skate together in the rink tomorrow,” Vitya offers.

“That’s nice,” Yuuri says, absentmindedly. He’s been speaking to Vitya with a certain dreamy quality to his voice. It is very cute. “I want to skate against you too, yes?”

“Yes,” Vitya says readily.

“I want to, ah, what’s- what’s the word? Hmm… I want to… destroy you. Gently.”

Geneviève can’t see what sort of face Yuuri is making, but Victor’s face goes uncharacteristically red, eyes wide.

[sweetlemontart]

what she doesn't know | na jaemin [M]

summary ⇾ the memory of your mother fucking a strange man in the same bed she had been sharing with your father is still fresh in your mind. disappointed and angry, you'll do whatever it takes to make her feel the hurt she caused you and your father. what better way to do that than to toy around with her new boyfriend, the young and striking na jaemin.

PAIRING // na jaemin x fem!reader

GENRE // mostly explicit smut, very little to no fluff at all, nonidol!au, ✨bitchy!mc✨, mum'sboyfriend!jaemin (if that's not for you, feel free to not read <3), all characters are of legal age

WARNING // 18+, explicit sexual content, unprotected sex, vaginal sex, fingering, breeding kink, degradation, slight choking, dirty talk, hair pulling, creampie, mentions of daddy kink, mentions of broken family, age gap, basically pwp, cheating, etc

WORD COUNT // 5.5k

AUTHOR'S NOTE // jaemin's not married to mc's mum so he isn't really mc's stepdad i guess, but if that's still not ur thing pls do feel free to just click away, this fic is pretty much self-indulgent and i actually had no plan to publish it at first but then i thought eh why let it rot in my drafts lol, i'm not completely happy with how this turned out but i'm so busy with uni rn and don't rlly have the time and energy to write something that's top-notch quality so, just enjoy <3

The sound of your mother's laughter jolts you awake, and you feel your dream slip away as you become more and more conscious of your surrounding. Another pitchy laugh is heard throughout the house, and you groan into your pillow, eyes feeling heavy as you pry them open.

You're still groggy and on the verge of falling back asleep. Unfortunately for you, school starts in under an hour, you've hit snooze on your alarm far too many times, and you can't afford to waste any more time lazing around in bed if you want to make it to class on time.

Washing up, you slip into your school uniform, consisting of a white blouse and a pleated skirt that does little to cover your thighs and ass. Your mother complains about it on a regular basis, but you can't find yourself to care when Jaemin is always secretly staring at your legs whenever you have them on.

He's never apparent about it, especially not in front of your mother, but you definitely notice it. You feel it more than you see it, really, the prickling of your skin and the pleasant shiver running up your spine whenever you're in the same room as him. When you look up at him to confirm your suspicions, you'll see his gaze is on you, flittering across your bare skin almost hungrily.

He's not afraid to lock eyes with you. In fact, you think he finds a twisted enjoyment in maintaining eye contact, as though he wants you to know what he's thinking. It's not hard to guess what's going through his head whenever he leers at you, and you'd be lying if you said you didn't enjoy his attention.

But that was weeks ago when your mutual attraction towards each other was still just that—an attraction that was evident to the both of you but not acted upon. Last weekend, though, that all changed.

When your mother had proposed spending the weekend at a luxurious beach house rental, it hadn't taken long for you to agree, especially when everything was going to be funded by Jaemin. He hadn't been on board with the idea, but all it took for him to agree was a single glimpse of the bright red bikini you had purposely laid out on your bed for him to see. You had left your door open that night, knowing Jaemin would have to pass your bedroom when he went down for dinner.

Needless to say, your plan worked and thus began the trip of your life where you and Jaemin proceeded to fuck like rabbits every chance you got. The red bikini never made it back home afterwards, having been chucked in the trash the first night of the trip after Jaemin ripped the underwear into two in his rush to pull it off of you.

"Oh, there you are! I was just about to send Jaemin up to fetch you." Your mother's shrill voice echoes through the vast space of the house as soon as she spots you at the landing of the stairs. "You do know you're graduating soon? You really should manage your time better and start waking up earlier."

She's in her work outfit already, faking a smile at you as though she's still trying to convince Jaemin that the both of you have no hostile feelings towards each other. No, you and your mother stopped being civil long before Jaemin came into the picture, particularly when you caught her under a strange man in the same bed she had been sharing with your father. How she got custody of you after the divorce is still beyond you until this day.

You scoff, unable to hide your disdain. "I'm obviously not late enough since you're still here."

She's glaring at you as you set your bag down on the kitchen island, and it's almost enough to sour your mood, but one glance at Jaemin by the fridge has your stomach flipping with giddiness. So that's the reason why your mother still hasn't gone to work yet. He's fiddling with the coffee maker, shirtless, clad only in a pair of grey sweatpants that hangs low on his hips. If he turns around, you're sure you'd be able to see the trail of dark hair leading down into his pants.

You ogle his back, for now, tuning out your mother's scolding as you appreciate the sight of his back muscles flexing whenever he moves. As though he senses your eyes on him, he turns his head just enough to look at you over his shoulder. He smiles, almost a little too innocently. "Good morning, princess."

Your mother starts reprimanding him for the nickname. She's insecure, you know, because it doesn't take rocket science to figure out that Jaemin could easily leave her and find another woman to date in a heartbeat, someone younger and better than your mother in every way possible.

It's only a matter of time until he finally decides to call it quits, but until then, you figure toying around with your mother's boyfriend isn't such a bad idea, especially when the man himself looks so divine and can fuck like a god. Somewhere deep in your heart, you want her to find out about you and Jaemin, want her to feel what your father had felt when he found out about her affair.

Your mother cusses as she glances down at the golden watch on her wrist. "I gotta go," she says, rushing around the counter to make her way to Jaemin.

Jaemin lets her embrace him, albeit rather reluctantly. He's looking at you expressionlessly as your mother presses herself into his chest. He's tired, you can tell. It won't be long until he breaks the news to your mother that he doesn't want her anymore.

You hope you'll be there to witness the scene or the aftermath at least. You want her to cry herself to sleep every night, questioning whether she will ever find somebody half as good as Jaemin. You want her to recall the life she had before the divorce and realise how perfect it could've been if she just didn't fuck up.

Your mother pulls back from the hug, smiling coyly up at Jaemin, who has a smile so obnoxiously fake it almost hurts for you to watch. "Don't miss me too much while I'm gone," she speaks before leaning closer to say something she obviously doesn't want you to hear. "Oh, I have a surprise for you tonight, so wait up for me, alright, baby?"

Your mother doesn't spare you a glance, pecking Jaemin's lips before strutting straight to the front door as if you don't exist. Jaemin doesn't wait until your mother is out of the house to wipe his mouth with the back of his hand.

You turn to watch her through the kitchen window, sneering when you see the wide grin on her face as she enters the car. "Gross. She's such a cougar. Why don't you just break up with her already?" You turn back to Jaemin, slightly taken aback once you see he's already looking at you from across the island, both palms on the marble countertop to support himself up and a cup of steaming coffee on the island in front of him. "Anyways, why aren't you at work yet?"

"I'm taking the day off."

His answer perks your interest. In your months of knowing Jaemin, you know him to be a workaholic, one who wouldn't skip work on a whim. Today's nothing special, just another regular Thursday... or is it?

"Taking the day off... why?"

"And how is that any of your business?"

"I'll tell the school my 32-year-old stepdad likes putting his dick in me if you don't tell me."

He snickers incredulously, and you can't help the fluttering of your stomach when you see him cock his eyebrow. "Then I'll tell them you were the one begging for it in the first place. Besides, I'm not your stepdad, so that's only going to make you look like a little whore, princess."

You slip down from the stool to make your way to him, narrowing your eyes when he turns to face you. He's smiling as you step closer.

Jaemin can feel his lower back digging into the edge of the counter, but he can't find himself to care when you're pressed up against him so deliciously in your tiny skirt and tight blouse. The smell of your perfume is making him dizzy, but he inhales harder anyway, wanting to memorise your smell so he can have something to think about when you're at school and he's left at home to tug at his cock by himself.

When you lean forward, Jaemin wraps his arms around your waist, pulling your hips flush to his. He glances down at the buttons of your blouse and the way the fabric between each button strains against the plump flesh of your breasts. He wants nothing more than to rip your shirt and hear the buttons fall onto the ground in loud clatters.

"Tell me, why today?" you ask, tilting your head up to brush your lips against his. You feel his hot breath fan across your mouth, slipping through your parted lips.

"Hm, put my dick in your mouth, and I might just tell you."

You chuckle before pulling your head back, enjoying the way he chases after your lips when you do. "I have class in 30 minutes, so unless you want to cum in your fist, I suggest you tell me now."

Jaemin sighs, manoeuvring one of his legs to rest between yours. The arms he has around you allow him to pull you even closer, and suddenly, you're all too aware of the thigh pressing right up against your heat. You're not sure whether your lace panties will be able to stop your slick from staining his pants.

"And if I tell you there isn't any reason?"

You scoff, starting to roll your hips forward against his thigh. "I wouldn't believe you."

Jaemin cups your cheeks in his hands, keeping you still as he leans forward. He's staring into your eyes as he lets his tongue slide through his lips, lightly flicking at your bottom lip.

Your breath catches in your throat, body heating up the more you lock eyes with him. His eyes are dark, pupils dilated with lust. "I don't have to tell you. You'll know soon enough," he mumbles against your lips.

"Well, I want to know now."

He glances to the side, and you follow his gaze. He's looking at the clock mounted on the wall, eyes narrowing as if he's debating something in his mind.

With a huff, you decide to take matters into your own hands, grabbing his hand on your waist to bring it under your skirt. Jaemin doesn't seem surprised at all when you guide his palm to cup you through your underwear. The feel of your wetness seeping through the fabric snaps something in him, and he kisses you hard.

You're panting into the kiss, lifting one of your legs so he can have better access to your heat. One of his fingers is effortlessly gliding back and forth against the outline of your slit.

Your knee digs into his hip when he suddenly applies pressure on your hole, prodding you through your underwear. "A-ah, Jaemin..."

He angles his head to press his lips against the spot underneath your ear, biting into the skin and smirking when he hears the pathetic whimper you let out.

He's tugging on the crotch of your panties, fully intent on dragging it to the side so he can touch you without anything blocking his way. You grab his wrist, halting his movement. "I know what you're fucking doing," you hiss accusingly as you lower your leg from his side. "Trying to distract me so I'd forget about the fact that you took the day off today? I know you've got something up your sleeve."

He clicks his tongue, seemingly disappointed as he tilts his head back to stare at the ceiling. "You just had to be a fucking brat this morning, huh?"

He doesn't give you a chance to reply, roughly gripping your hips and turning you around, bending you down on the counter beside the stove. Surprised at his sudden aggression, you yelp, ready to turn around and berate him for being so rough.

Slap!

"What the fuck!" you exclaim when you feel the prickling sting on your thigh from where he had struck you. You twist your neck to glare at him. The man has the audacity to ignore you, flipping your skirt over your ass and kneading it in his palm. "I don't have time for this, seriously—nghh!"

He cuts you off by taking hold of your ponytail and directing your forehead down to rest on the cold counter. In this angle, the crotch of your panties is digging painfully into your slit, but it only makes you ache for more.

You feel Jaemin lean forward, fingers still digging into your scalp, keeping your head in place. His hips are flush against your ass, hard bulge pressing into your clit so deliciously you feel as though you might burst with only a few rolls of his hips. His mouth brushes against your earlobe when he speaks, and the rasp in his voice makes your thighs squeeze tighter. "Keep your head down, you understand? I don't wanna see your face until I'm through with you."

Irritation bubbles in your chest at his words. "Why? Don't you like my face? Remember how many times you came all over it last weekend? You called me pretty when I had your balls in my mouth, remember?"

The grip in your hair only tightens, and you smile to yourself, feeling strangely proud at being able to vex him. Jaemin's not one to be bothered so easily. You revel in the fact that you're the only one that can push him so much his calm demeanour vanishes, replaced by a man eager to put you in your place.

Without another word, he drags your underwear down your legs, letting it settle around your knees. He lets go of your hair to lean back, presumably to get a better look at your drenched cunt. You're just about to lift your head from the counter when you feel his teeth sinking into the skin of your ass. "I meant what I said, princess, keep your head down until I tell you otherwise."

"Screw you," you snap, but obey him anyway. You have class in less than half an hour, and you can't afford for Jaemin to pull away now, not unless you want to get yourself off with your fingers in a grimy bathroom stall at school.

"Watch your fucking mouth," he mumbles before diving in and latching his mouth to your heat.

You cry out when he starts lapping at your core like a starved man. He's devouring you wholeheartedly, fervently delving his tongue into your hole as if he can't get enough of your taste.

You reach back with one hand, raking your fingers through his silky hair to guide him. He grunts, taking both of your wrists in his hand and pinning them to your back. "You're not allowed to touch me."

You scoff as your turn your head, letting the side of your head rest on the surface of the counter. "Why? Did I upset you? Do you want me to apologi—aghh... s-shit, shit!"

Jaemin has wrapped his mouth around your clit, sucking it harshly one second and lapping at it the next. Your toes are curling against the floor, back arching against the counter, overwhelmed by the sudden focus on your bundle of nerves.

Jaemin lets go of your wrists to grab at your ass with both of his hands, spreading you open even more. His eyes flutter shut, cock twitching in his sweatpants as he savours the bittersweet taste of your essence coating his tongue. He's still irritated at you, but he decides that he can deal with that later after he's satisfied with hearing the wanton sounds coming out of your mouth as he eats you out.

"Gonna cum for me, sweetheart?"

"P-please. We don't have time, just fuck me already!"

Jaemin knows you're right. If he wants to get his dick wet, he's going to have to hurry everything up so you can arrive at school on time or reasonably late, at least.

He groans lowly when he pulls away and sees the gossamer thread of your slick connected to his mouth. He parts your labia with two of his fingers, admiring the sight of your glistening pussy and swollen nub.

You're slightly mortified when you realise he's doing nothing but studying you so closely. "Hurry up. I don't have all day!" you snap.

Jaemin rises to his full height, sighing when he sees you hadn't followed his order of keeping your head down. Your eyes are twinkling wickedly up at him, daring him to stop now.

You know he wouldn't leave you hanging, not when you can literally feel his achingly hard cock poking at your upper thigh. "Fifteen minutes left, so you better get on with it," you say almost nonchalantly, but Jaemin is well aware that you would most definitely cry if he didn't fuck you any seconds now.

He clamps a hand on your jaw, hauling your body off the counter and pulling your back to his bare torso. "Plenty of time for me to put you in your place, don't you think?"

The tip of his nose drags across the nape of your neck, breathing in the sweet perfume lingering on your soft skin. Your inner thighs are drenched with your wetness, and the sticky feeling have you arching your ass against his front. "You think you have the upper hand just because you're my stepdad. This is my house, Jaemin, you're just a stranger here."

He growls, frantically pulling his sweatpants down his legs and pushing into you without any warning. You're wet enough to take him, but the sudden intrusion still burns and has you scrambling to grab hold of the edge of the cabinet above you. Your jaw falls slack as he sinks deeper and deeper until you can feel the blunt head of his cock kiss your cervix.

You cry out, reaching back with your free hand to splay your hand against his stomach, digging your nails into his skin to indicate to him that you still need to adjust.

"I'm not your fucking stepdad and I never will be, you hear me?" he mutters against your neck, the combination of his breath against your skin and his cock buried inside you making you feel delirious. "And this isn't your house, it's your mother's. Don't act like you're better than me when you're the one lazing around in bed all day, waiting for your holes to be filled by my cock like the little whore you are."

Jaemin would feel guilty of ramming himself into you so abruptly, but the way your velvet walls are pulsing around him tells him that you're enjoying this more than you let on.

You grin when he starts to move his hips, sticking to shallow thrusts to let you accommodate to his size. "What? You don't wanna be my stepdad?"

Jaemin moves his grip down to your chest, cupping your breast through your blouse as you start to grind back into him, meeting his thrusts halfway. "Not if it means I'll be married to your mother," he manages to answer.

You whine when Jaemin starts leaving open-mouthed kisses on your neck. He reaches down, pushing your panties down from your knees before propping one of your legs up on the counter. "F-Fuck, right there, Jaemin..."

He's grunting as he settles his hand on your waist, controlling your movement. The sound of skin slapping against skin is audible throughout the house, but neither you nor Jaemin care because for the first time since you started fucking each other, there's no chance of your mother walking in on the two of you.

"Should I cum inside, hm? Should I fill your tiny pussy up and have you walk around school with my cum leaking onto your underwear?" Jaemin growls when he feels you clench around him almost painfully.

Your leg buckles at his words, but he's quick to wrap his arm around you to keep you flushed to him. You're holding onto the arm circled around your waist for dear life, moans and whines tumbling out of your mouth before you can stop them. Jaemin feels so good, too good. The coil in your stomach is tightening rapidly. "Y-You want to fill me up?" You stutter, sinking your teeth into your lower lip as you twist around to lock eyes with him.

Jaemin's thrusts falter when he catches your eyes, half-lidded and looking up at him almost desperately. "I do. Wanna fuck you full of my cum." He doesn't waste a second before bringing his lips to yours, an excuse to close his eyes so he wouldn't have to look at your lecherous expression and cum too soon.

He's swirling his tongue around yours, not caring that spit is starting to gather at the corners of his mouth. Your grip on the cabinet in front of you tightens when Jaemin starts imitating sex with his tongue, plunging the wet muscle in and out of your mouth as if he's fucking your mouth with his cock.

His breathing is ragged when he pulls away from the kiss. He peers down to watch his length disappear in and out of you. His strokes are hard and fast, with the obvious intent to make himself cum quicker so you can go to school. He's running out of time, and he needs to do something about it fast.

The hand on your waist glides down to your lower stomach, fingers inching closer towards the spot between your legs. When his index finger finally brushes against your clit, you jolt in his hold, mewling brokenly. Jaemin grunts when you tighten around his dick. At this rate, he'll cum in less than a minute.

"J-Jaemin—please, gonna cum... gonna cum..."

"Hold it. You're not allowed to cum until I say so."

You whine in protest, heart pounding in your ears. "We don't have—ughh—time for this. Let me cum already!"

The slap he delivers to your clit almost sends you reeling into your orgasm, but you manage to hold it back by controlling your breathing.

"I told you to keep your head down, so why didn't you?"

You feel light-headed at the sound of Jaemin's gruff voice. His voice seems to resonate through you, reverberating through your body and making your eyes roll back in bliss.

"Answer my question, and I might let you cum."

"Because you're no one... you don't get to tell me what to do."

Another slap to your clit is delivered, causing you to cry out. "I'm very tempted to leave you here to cum by yourself."

"I've answered your question like you wanted me to." You rush through your words, painfully aware that your orgasm is only seconds away.

"Apologise and I'll let you cum."

You shake your head, tears pricking your eyes the more you try to hold out. You won't give him the satisfaction of your apology, but you're unsure of the consequences if you do decide to let yourself cum without his permission. What's the worst he can do?

As though he senses what you're thinking of, he stops the motion of his hips. You can feel your orgasm slipping away bit by bit as he stays unmoving, and you whine in protest, circling your hips by yourself, hoping it's enough to make you cum. Your movement is limited, though. With the counter in front of your waist, you're unable to move forward too much, and you realise with a sinking feeling that you're never going to cum at this rate.

Jaemin chuckles as you turn your head to face him, eyes narrowed into slits as you glare at him. "I said, apologise."

"Just move already."

His smile drops, and he makes a move to pull out of you. Panicked, you reach back to grab at his waist, preventing him from pulling himself out. The tip of his cock is just resting against your hole, ready to slip back in at the slightest movement of his hips.

"Please, please, just fuck me," you beg with pleading eyes, the epitome of innocence and desperation.

Jaemin sees right through it. "I said apologise, princess, not beg."

You're determined not to comply with his request, but your resolve is breaking the more you look into his eyes. All it takes is one word for Jaemin to continue, but is it worth it? Would you rather keep your dignity or lose it for a chance to cum around his perfect cock?

He applies the slightest pressure on your clit with his fingertip, kickstarting your brain. The pretty smirk on his lips is all it takes for you to break. "Please, I'm sorry, Jaemin, I need to cum, please."

"Hm? What was that? You're sorry, are you?"

You nod, eyes fluttering shut when you feel him slide deeper into you. But it's not enough. You need more, all of him. "Please, make me cum, please. I'm sorry."

Fortunately, Jaemin takes mercy on you, although he lets you know he's far from happy with your answer by pinching your clit between two fingers. "You're lucky I'm feeling especially nice this morning."

He bottoms out in one thrust, burying his whole length without faltering once. The sudden fullness feels euphoric, and your orgasm doesn't feel so out of reach anymore as Jaemin's thrusts become wilder, harder, almost violent.

"That's right, princess. You gonna cum like a good girl for me?"

"Y-Yes, god, yes, gonna cum..."

He's circling two of his fingers on your bundle of nerves frantically, relishing the wanton sounds spilling out of your mouth. It sounds like music to his ears. "Then cum, princess. Cum all over my cock."

He feels you stiffen against him, going completely rigid as you throw your head back to rest it on his shoulder. Your pussy becomes impossibly tight as you arch forward, raising onto your tiptoes as your orgasm washes over you.

Your mouth drops open in a silent moan as the pleasure sweeps through your body. The feeling is exhilarating, and it leaves you in a state of shock even after you've finally come down from your high, still gasping for breath.

Your limbs feel weak as Jaemin kisses your temple and turns you around so that you're facing him. He makes sure to remove the panties from around your ankle before lifting you onto the counter and slipping himself back inside, immediately resuming his brutal pace from before.

You're still trying to come down from your high as you lean your head back on the cabinet, watching him through half-lidded eyes. You feel overstimulated as he continues to use you, balls slapping against your puffy folds.

His gaze is locked onto your sex, eyeing the way your plump pussy so wonderfully stretches around him whenever he dips into you. Perspiration run down his slender neck and flushed chest, but that doesn't stop him from pounding into you relentlessly.

You cup his cheeks in your hands, digging your nails into his skin to gain his attention. When he looks back up at you, you flash him a dazed smile. "You wanted to cum in me, right?"

At your question, Jaemin's eyes flutter shut as he shudders. He doesn't reply, only taking both of your calves in his hands to hold you steady as he chases his high.

Tilting your head, you let your lips skim his just barely. You grin when he attempts to kiss you. You've got him right where you want him. "Five minutes left, Jaemin. You gotta cum soon, or I'm leaving you here with blue balls."

"Yeah? Maybe if you had just shut the fuck up and listened to me, I would've cum sooner."

You pout mockingly up at him. "That's an awfully mean thing to say to your stepdaughter."

One of his hands immediately fastens around your neck, squeezing just enough for your heartbeat to pick up. "You seem to like thinking I'm your stepdad, princess. Is it your daddy issues talking? You still mad at mummy because she made your daddy go away?"

You gasp when Jaemin suddenly buries himself as deep as he can into you, taut balls pressed against your ass. Your slick soaks his pelvis completely as he stays unmoving. "We both know you're the one getting off to the thought of fucking your stepdaughter," you say between breaths.

Jaemin knows he'll cum soon. He starts moving his hips again, choosing to thrust shallowly this time, pulling his cock out only a few inches before pushing forward into your warmth again.

"Look at me," you demand. "You like fucking me like this? Like fucking your stepdaughter?"

His whole frame is shaking. The hair on the back of his neck stands straight up when he comprehends what you said. He doesn't expect the sudden surge of electricity that courses through his entire body. He doesn't want to admit it, but he thinks you've awakened something inside of him he hadn't noticed about himself before.

"Wanna fuck your stepdaughter full of cum, Jaemin? It feels dirty but so right at the same time, doesn't it? Fucking your stepdaughter shouldn't feel this good, right?"

He swallows hard, grunts ripping through his chest as he nears the edge. His stomach and thighs are tensing up. "S-Shut the fuck up."

"It doesn't seem like you want me to stop talking. Just cum in me, Jaemin. Pump your stepdaughter full of your seed."

He lets go of your neck and calf to wrap his arms around your waist, hugging you close to him. You rake your fingers down his naked back, hoping your mother will see the scratches on his skin and start questioning Jaemin's loyalty. There's something so satisfying about the fact that you will be the last person she has in mind when she starts pondering about who had left the marks on his back.

"Fuck, s-so close," he grumbles through clenched jaws. He's mumbling a mixture of curse words and your name under his breath, balls throbbing and aching for release.

"Cum inside me..." you trail off, turning your head to place your mouth right beside his ear. "Daddy..."

That does it. Jaemin growls as he comes undone, coating your walls white with thick spurts of his milky cum. You can't help but moan along with him, feeling so impossibly full as he fills you to the brim, some dripping out onto the floor when he finally pulls out of you.

"Shit..." Jaemin pants, breathless as he swipes two fingers through your slit, causing your hips to jerk up instinctively. He snickers, bringing the same fingers up into his mouth, tasting both his and your cum.

You scrunch your nose in disgust, pushing him by the chest and dropping down from the counter. Jaemin's pulling up his sweatpants as he watches you waddle to the bathroom, presumably to pee and clean yourself up.

You return a minute later. "Shit, I'm fucking late. Couldn't you have cum quicker? Seriously, I should've called you daddy sooner," you grumble as you grab your bag from the kitchen island, slinging it over your shoulder.

Jaemin grabs your underwear from the floor, handing it to you for you to put back on. "Just tell the school your car broke down on the way there."

"Or I could just tell them my stepdad couldn't cum fast enough."

Jaemin's footsteps are loud as he follows you to the front door. "For fuck's sake, I'm not your fucking stepd—"

"I get it, Jaemin, you're just dating my mum."

Jaemin nods, satisfied with your answer. "Right, but not for long."

You freeze in your tracks, turning to look at Jaemin standing on the porch with his phone in his hands, typing away on the keyboard. "What's that supposed to mean? Are you finally breaking up with her?"

He smirks, eyes still trained onto his phone screen. "I took the day off to pack my stuff up. I'm moving out this afternoon."

"Are you going back to your old apartment?"

"Why do you want to know? Scared you're going to miss me?"

"No, I'm hoping my mum will track you down and strangle you to death."

Ding!

"Check your phone," he remarks.

You reach for your phone in the front pouch of your bag, fishing it out and checking the new notification. "What did you send me? Whose address is this?"

"It's my new apartment. But please, for the love of God, don't tell your mother my new address." He turns to walk back into the house but stops abruptly, turning back to you once more. "You know where to find me if you ever need... anything." With that, he turns back around and enters the house.

Oh, shit.

[jerzwriter]

Choices Fandom Appreciation Countdown to 2022 - Day 1

I'm so glad that the rules said the more the merrier and four is not the limit, because there are many that I want to give a shout out to for making my 2021 brighter. This is long, but each of you deserves recognition and brevity will never be my strong suit. 😊

@a-crepusculo GIRL! You have made me laugh, thirst, and cry this year. Whenever you doubt yourself I want to hop a flight and tell knock some sense into you because you are amazing and I cannot wait to see what you are going to accomplish next. It's a blessing to have you in my life and not just because of your writing! 🐑💕

@alwaysmychoices OK, so I have fangirled and gushed enough, and you still haven't gotten a restraining order on me, so I guess once more will not hurt. Charlie is one of my all-time favorite MC's and your balance of angst, fluff, and smut is just... chef's kiss. You are always willing to "go there" so I never know what to expect and that makes your writing so enjoyable. With and WIthout will forever be a favorite. I think I will be distraught when it ends. Thank you! 🌟

@anonymousrookie I've only recently become acquainted with your writing, and I'm glad I did. Your Walk Above the City was just the Christmas cheer I needed this year. 🎄

@bex-la-get I adore you for so many reasons! But when I think back on writing in 2021, I will always remember the mutual angst that bonded us, to begin with. I don't even have to say what it is. You, and your writing, are gifts to me and all who know you! 🐑💕

@choiceskatie - hey, girl? Do I really even need to say anything? lol I'm still just pleased you didn't call the authorities to say you had a crazy stalker on your hands! lol Almost is Never Enough will forever be a favorite. I may have read it 250 times. But that's just me (actually, no it's not). You are like 50% responsible for my Tobias obsession. lol Thank you. 💕

@coffeeheartaddict2 watching your Bloom takedown and re-examination of all PB left behind in canon has been a delight, almost, but never as much as our conversations. 💕

@danijimenezv my sweet friend! I know you feel like you haven't done enough this year, but I'm here to tell you that it is quality, not quantity, that counts and you have delivered there. I have loved getting to know Jill and I can't wait to do more when you can. Right now you have much more important things going on and I am in awe of all you are doing. Your heart and compassion are an example to all (and keep the tea coming girl!) 🐑💕

@dr-colossal-pita now, you know that I love/hate you for No More I Love You's lol. But truly, when I look back at the year in fanfic, this will always be one of the first things that comes to my mind, and not just because it cost me as much in Kleenex as it did in therapists copays! 😊

@genevievemd my sweet, sweet girl! You bring so much love and happiness to this little kingdom (you know who is king...) of ours and, getting to know you, I now understand how. You put so much of yourself into Gen, you have the same sweet, beautiful soul and then you're kind enough to share it with all of us. In this world, there will always be people who want to dull that beautiful shine, but I know you will never let them (and we won't let you). Thank you for all the joy you bring, even when it feels so hard to do (especially then!) 🐑💕

@gryffindordaughterofathena I was introduced to your work this your writing this year through your Five Stages of Grief series which was masterful! How you were able to convey such profound emotion in so few words, I'm still speechless! Thank you for sharing your gift! 😊

@heauxplesslydevoted I adore your writing. It is top-notch and keeps me on the edge of my seat waiting for what comes next. Now, it' blows my mind that when I look at 2021 it's not an E/N fic that is first in my mind (because they're all great), but I think Lost Cherry may have changed me, and not just because I love the fragrance. Thank you for sharing with us! 🔥💕

@jamespotterthefirst where do I even start with you, twisted sister? God put us on opposite coasts for a reason, one coast couldn't handle the insanity. lol You are such a bright, shining star and you give such energy to our fandom, to those who know you and, most certainly, to me. Thank you, amiga, for all you do. I don't think I express it often enough. 6 months later this little fandom is still going, and you are a big reason why. As for your works, Your Biggest Fan is 2021. Pic your fave running GIF to represent me when I see a new chapter is up. Thank you Bree, just for being you. 🐑💕

@josiesopenheart on top of many other things, I love our mutual thirsting over dear Jesse. lol It's always good to have a partner in such things. This year The Way I Loved You stands out, and I can't wait to see where it goes from here.

@kachrisberry Little Sis!! You put your toe in the pond and I love, love, love it. I think collabing with you on Their Plus One was the highlight of the writing year, and I don't know if my bro-in-law has recovered yet. You, my friend, are a gift in every way. 💕💕

@kat-tia801 when I think of the year in fanfic Happier will always come to mind. It was so tragically beautiful. Of course, even though not sequential, Change did heal me a little. Your writing is captivating and I'm always so happy to see a tag from you. I am looking forward to all that is yet to come! 😊

@liaromancewriter Mal. Mal, Mal, Mal. Where to begin? First, I am grateful for your very existence in so, so many ways, including for giving us all a beautiful, happy, soft space to land... particularly after I leave readers on the edge, I like knowing they have your blog to land safely on... hell, I'm glad I HAVE your blog to land safely on. I want to pick one of your works to highlight this year, and I can't because I truly adore everything you write. But I am sharing your Maxenna masterlist because, though E/C are always going to be my OG's, the work you have done creating this couple this year has been a joy to watch. I can't wait to see what you deliver in 2022! 🐑💕

@lucy-268 I will always be grateful to this silly little world for bringing us together! You are such a joy to know, and that joy comes through in your writing... I can't explain it... but it's like the essence of you is in there. You know I'm obsessed with Sami & Tobias, I adore Charley & Ethan, and I NEED to get acquainted with Bryce & Maggie. Our Tobias bond though, girl, that is SPECIAL. Secrets, for the smirkiness (is that a word?) and This Christmas for all the warm feels are two of my favorite fics this year. And I can't wait for the next part... (EEEK). Lastly, there is no one that I'd rather work with on CFWC, seriously, it's like a dream partnership. You are the BEST Kathy! The best (and you even accept my weirdness!) 🐑💕

@potionsprefect when I found out how old you were I said "Nah, cannot possibly be." You bring so much depth, character and emotion to your writing, you remind me of a certain musical artist I adore (do I have to say her name?) who blew me away with her understanding of human emotion so much sooner than most do. You're right there love. I love your work, I'm always so happy to see your tags. You're an incredible writer and an incredible person and my 2021 was much brighter because you were in it, kid sis. 🐑💕

@sillydg I am so proud of you for taking the leap into writing this year! I have your works shared in my 82 (no lie, 82) drafts to catch up on, and I'm praying for time this week. Thanks for being my horny jail partner! 😏

@takeharryandgo I loved your writing from afar before I officially joined this crazy place, and even more since. The Competition is bringing me such joy! I love what you are doing and get so excited when I see my notifications. Thank you so much for bringing this story to us! (even though I know my boy is getting dissed lol) 😊

@txemrn My sweet girl! You are like the trifecta - you're a freaking phenomenal writer, an ever-enthusiastic coach/cheerleader, and an amazing person/friend all rolled up into one. This year you go and introduce me to peach boy, forever changing the way I feel when I'm in the produce aisle, to boot! You know you have me captivated with Ricochet, I'm tagging part 2 here, but seriously, it's all just... oooff. You have me OK with Ethan being with someone other than MC. Do you know what that takes? In fact, I'm not OK, I LOVE them. And girl, your Tobias is 😏 (even if he is a snake). Thanks, Em... just for existing, OK? 💕

@the-pale-goddess your writing is always so provocative in every way, and I just stan Tiffany! While I may not have yet recovered from Scar Tissue, but it was well worth the pain. 😊

@utterlyinevitable Dom! You know how much I adore your writing. You see every aspect of a story and embrace it all, the good, the bad... it brings such depth to your writing and I adore it. If my descriptive writing is ever 1/10th of what yours is, I will consider myself a success. This year, your Just Two People series blew me away and deserves an honorable mention here. Also, THANK YOU for all that you do for the fandom, it is so appreciated. 💕

@writer-ish I only became acquainted with Brooke this year... and... OMG. Is she one smart, badass, firecracker, and I love her! More than that, the way you convey the tenderness and playfulness of their relationship, OK, so you're one of the people that give me imposter syndrome, but I still love you. And not just because you're a Greek sister. lol Thank you Kat, for sharing your talent with us. We're not worthy. 🐑💕

I also want to send honorable mentions out to @mm2305, @satrangee-ray, @monsoonblooms12, @lem-20 and @lsvdw-blog. Each of you have also had works that touched me, made me think, or made me smile this year and I thank you.

I know I'm forgetting people who have written work that touched me this year, and if you know me, these are the things that keep me up at night! But to all the creators in our fandom, thank you for all you do!

Special shout out to @choicesfandomappreciation and the magic behind it @storyofmychoices. You are truly inspirational!

[twopoppies]

[Submission]

Raleigh Concert Report!

Hi Gina -

Thank you for all of your wonderful fic recs & posts. I thought I would send in a concert report!

I was, admittedly a little bit nervous about going this go around since there had been a lot of chatter about the crowds at the concerts and how different they are from the first tour. It is true! The crowds are different. Lots of people were very dressed up. I have never seen so many cowboy hats outside of a country concert. Many Boas as well, LOL.  there were feathers all over the place. I did not encounter any rude people. Maybe it’s just where I was but all of the little groups of dressed up girls seemed to keep to themselves. It seemed like everybody was just dressed up and going and getting ready to have fun. I found everyone to be extremely polite. In line for merch, in line for food, when scooting in and out of the rows. Everybody was just kind.  that was definitely a relief!

Now, Harry! He was the happiest little jumping bean. I was also nervous that he was going to be grumpy but he seemed like he was in an absolutely great mood. Smiling and laughing and genuinely enjoying himself. There was not quite as much fan interaction in terms of talking like there are sometimes is but he seemed like he was having a good time. I cannot believe how much energy he has. He must be in phenomenal shape because he did not stop moving the entire 90 minutes. It would be like running a half marathon while singing on pitch.

Speaking of singing - his voice is so incredible right now. The falsetto in Sign of the Times was so pure and lovely. I am just amazed. His voice is so much stronger than it was for the first tour. It seems like he has worked so hard on it and it has paid off. Kudos to the sound people who make it possible for us to actually hear his voice over everybody singing. I think the sound is definitely improved over the previous tour. And the big monitors had wonderful video of good quality. I was torn the whole time between watching him jump around and watching him on the video screens. You see so many more of his little expressions and funny things if you watch some of the time on the screen. it is really fantastic to watch him dancing. And just having fun.

Carolina is not my favorite song but oh my gosh it was really fun to hear him sing it in North Carolina and more fun with how hard the crowd went for it. The entire stadium was shaking. The floor was shaking. It was bananas. it was really special to be in a room with everyone having so much fun. You could tell that we had all waited a long time for this, including Harry, and that we all wanted to have the most wonderful time.

Before the show started I was thinking about how I have some tickets for the Halloween shows and they seem very close together with this one. But I’m really glad I’m gonna go to those and I’m glad I went to this one. Each one of these shows even though he plays the same Setlist pretty much, is an opportunity for new interactions in new things to happen and new little expressions and new funny pictures. Even with the same set list and not a whole lot of variation in outfits, every night is different. It might not seem different to people watching it on live streams. I have watched several live streams (thank you live streamers!) I think it’s important for all of us to remember that he’s putting on a fantastic show for the people that are in the room with him. He’s not putting on a show for all of us at home. Sure, we can enjoy it from home, but it’s really a phenomenal experience in person.

It must be completely exhausting for him and the crew to do this right now. I know that they have a very strict Covid protocols. I know that they are being very careful. What I got to witness was such a class act top-notch performance that everybody involved took extremely seriously. The band was wonderful, Harry was wonderful, and the crew did an amazing job setting up a big operation.

We should all pray for each other when it is time to buy tickets for the next tour because I think it’s going to be a bloodbath. His shows are not to be missed and I feel pretty lucky to be able to go to them and be alive at the same time as Harry.



----

I literally have NO idea how I missed this, sweetheart. I'm so sorry! I swear things go missing in my inbox sometimes. I'm so glad you have a blast and I hope you had fun at Harryween, too! I am absolutely NOT looking forward to trying to buy tickets for whenever he tours for HS3. It will be The Hunger Games for absolute sure.

[sarahjtv]

BNHA Chapter 322 Spoiler Analysis: Bakugo’s Growth

Oh my god is this real life?  Am I reading Horikoshi’s AO3 fics?  I don’t drink or do drugs, so yesterday felt like a goddamn fever dream.  An incredible one at that.  Seriously, this might be one of my favorite chapters in the series for Bakugo’s moment alone.  I’m probably going to backtrack that later on if Horikoshi keeps this high quality up, but I’m cool with that.  This series has just been so damn good and it keeps getting better.  So, let’s go:

I’m going to get the smaller stuff out of the way first because I really want to focus on Bakugo’s apology this time because that’s the main course:

I love that Kirishima got something to do and say this chapter.  He was right there on the ground ready to catch Iida and Deku when they fell.  And he’s probably one of the more physically stronger kids in the class + his Hardening so Kirishima was a good choice to have on standby. Also, him realizing that Deku was the kid who tried to save Bakugo from the sludge villain at the beginning of the series was a good callback because Deku inadvertently inspired Kirishima to become the hero he is now.

Thirteen actually shows her face since her helmet was damaged in the war and WOW SHE’S PRETTY 😳 That was not on my bingo card, but I will take it happily!

Then there’s Ochako who grabs Deku’s hand to tell him it’s ok and that he doesn’t have to leave again after he, well, tries to leave again.  It’s really cute and feels like a resolution of some sorts of their feelings for each other.  Not a conclusion, but it feels like Horikoshi is wrapping things up.  I don’t know how deep Horikoshi’s going to go into Ochako and Deku romantically, but I like that it’s told subtlety.  And it looks like the next chapter will have Ochako do something cool, so I’m excited to see that.  

THAT UA BARRIER IS MASSIVE DEAR LORD!  And apparently it can do even more than that.  LIKE DOES IT HAVE GUNS TOO?  Hakgakure says it connects to Shiketsu too, so maybe we might see Inasa, Shishikura (Meatball boy), and Camie again.

Also, Hagakure and Aoyama didn’t do anything though during the VS. Deku fight, so take that as you will.

Also Bakugo’s suddenly not featured at the end of the chapter, which is weird.  

NOW BAKUGO OH MY GOD:

I really thought that we would have a Deku Vs. Kacchan Part 3 to be honest.  I really thought we would.  But no.  We got an honest-to-god heart-to-heart between these two boys.  And really, this is probably the best way to go about it.  Maybe we’ll get some D VS. K Prt. 3 one day because there might be more to be said, but if this is how their friendship is truly mended, I’m cool with a 2-parter.

So, Bakugo basically lays EVERYTHING out on the table.  How he’s felt like Deku’s always ahead of him, how frustrated he was, how scared he was, how insecure he was, and more beyond the surface.  Ultimately, he apologizes for everything.  He apologizes for over A DECADE of bullying.  He even bows to Deku.  He can barley look at Deku in the eye for the most part.  This is not the same Bakugo from the beginning of the series.  This is Katsuki Bakugo: a young man who took a long, harsh look in the mirror, learned from his flaws, decided to save the kid he bullied, and became a better person all because of it.

Bakugo also tells Deku that even though Deku did nothing wrong in going down this path, Deku needs him and his friends now.  Deku can’t do this on his own anymore.  Bakugo says him and the other will carry the burden with Deku.  Save to Win and Win to Save 😭.

What I find interesting here is that in this part of his speech, Bakugo says that he and everyone else will carry Deku’s burden with him “In order to surpass All Might”.  Bakugo’s ultimate goal has always been to surpass All Might and become the No. 1 Hero.  That’s been established from the very beginning.  And now, Bakugo will surpass All Might with his friends by his side.  That’s growth, my dudes 🧡

Visually, this whole thing is done so beautifully!  Just the way everyone is drawn and the expressions on the other student’s faces are really well done.  Everyone’s either in shock or in awe of what they’re hearing coming out of Bakugo’s mouth.  This is a side Bakugo hasn’t really shown anyone before (besides Deku, of course).  The reaction that spoke most to me is actually Shoto’s 💙.   He gets like 1 panel this chapter, but his face isn’t really in either shock or awe.  It’s kinda unreadable, but I think ultimately it’s like an “I get it” sort of expression.  Because Bakugo and Endeavor are so much alike.  Shoto knows what it’s like to have someone in their life trying to atone for their actions.  He gets it.  Maybe, one day, Endeavor and Shoto can get there too.

This might be my favorite part of the chapter: During Bakugo’s apology, Horikoshi draws Deku and Bakugo as heroes, then kids, then as middle schoolers, then in their UA uniforms, and finally back in their hero costumes.  Each time, Bakugo and Deku are framed face-to-face with Bakugo talking and Deku just staring in disbelief and awe like he’s trying to process what Bakugo’s saying.  It isn’t until the final one when Bakugo and Deku finally meet eye-to-eye and you can see some light come back to Deku’s eyes.  And finally Bakugo bows and apologize, even calling Izuku by name 😭💚🧡  It’s just so beautifully paneled and drawn.  In the span of a few pages, Horikoshi manages to take us through Bakugo and Deku’s childhoods of conflict and insecurity to their heroic selves in present day.  It’s like a quick recap of everything Bakugo and Deku have been through over the course of the series.  Because even though My Hero Academia is ultimately Deku’s story, it’s Bakugo’s story too (which a little Shoto on the side).  This feels like the culmination of their entire relationship and it’ll only get stronger from here too.

Lastly, as Deku is about to apologize for saying “You can’t keep up” because he realized his friends are actually ahead of him, he starts to pass out and BAKUGO RUNS UP TO CATCH HIM AS DEKU FALLS 🧡💚😭  WE DON’T EVEN SEE BAKUGO’S EYES HE JUST SAYS “WE KNOW” LIKE IS BAKUGO CRYING HORIKOSHI PLEASE!!!!!  BAKUDEKU’S HOW WE FEELING??? 💥🥦

But for real, this is as close to a hug between these two as we’re probably going to get.  There’s something so profound about this.  Bakugo has been trying to push Deku away since the beginning.  He even wanted to keep Deku at arm’s length so he can be protected even from Bakugo himself.  And how these two are together again.  No more pushing away.  

Honestly, I loved this chapter 10/10!  Peak character development, peak storytelling, peak fucking fiction!  It does feel like we’re coming to a conclusion soon with the series.  Ochako is accepting her feeling towards Deku more, Deku’s coming back to UA where the final battle will most likely take place, and Bakugo and Deku have mended their relationship as far as we know.  Again, I would like to see a Part 3 to their ongoing fights, but I’m cool if this is where their conflict ends.  It was really, really beautiful.  Horikoshi’s writing has been top-notch with Bakugo and Deku.  God, I’m truly going to miss this series when it’s done.

Me thoughtout the entiretly of Bakugo’s Apology:  

[twstsimping77]

My asks are open for Twisted Wonderland headcanons and fanfics!!

I've never done this before, so please bear with me, but I'm now taking requests for Twisted Wonderland headcanons for any characters besides Sebek Zigvolt & Rook Hunt, as they are trigger characters for me. Feel free to ask for headcanons!

As for fanfics, Let me know how long you want it (I don't really do word counts) so I can tell you how long it'll take to write! (Ex. Long, medium, short) I know it'll at least be a couple days for fics, head cannons should come out quicker though.

RULES:

•I reserve the right to refuse or delete asks or commissions requests if I feel the need to do so, for any reason. I'll usually let you know if I do.

• If you request something and more than a week goes by, you can ask what's happened, or when it will be done.

• Please be civil. You're allowed to ask for 'cursed' or 'crazy' things, but please remain (mostly) human.

•I can do commissions, headcanons, and fan fictions, but be warned I'm still a beginner artist.

•Comissions are not required. You can ask for a fanfic or headcanons without paying me. I only require payment for my art.

•Art commissions are cheap. I realize that my art isn't high-quality, nor top notch, so I won't charge too much.

• I'll require 50% (or half) of the full price for commissions upfront, and the other 50% when it's finished.

•No NSFW requests please. It makes me uncomfortable and is awkward to write & I'm currently unable to draw it.

•for characters that are (or that look like) children, for example Ortho & Luke, I won't take romantic requests. Platonic is perfectly fine, however.

Fandoms:

•Twisted Wonderland

•Obey Me

•FNAF: Security Breach

•Genshin Impact

•Bungo Stray Dogs

• Arcane (I probably won't take romantic requests for Arcane, as I see most main characters as familial figures. I'll absolutely take platonic though.)

{Requests: Open}

{Commissions: Closed}

Please keep in mind that I'm serious about these rules. If they are broken within an ask, or DM, it will be deleted immediately. Examples of my art for commissions are below.

[Editors note:] My art tablet is currently out of order, so even though I usually take digital and traditional art commissions, I'm only taking traditional at the moment. I have a Venmo for payment. It's @/PyroManiac74 . Thank you.

Thank you.

[brightwanderer]

Fic Snippet: Earthbound

Since I’m thinking about Starstruck, here’s a little sneak peak at the start of Earthbound, the next fic in the series. This one is behind Best Served Cold on my priority list, but that doesn’t mean I’m not working on it...

*

He hadn’t asked to be an Archangel. He’d simply been created, and - just like every other angel in Heaven - assigned to his allotted place. His opinion had not been sought. The first thing he remembered was his name, spoken in the language of Creation, a description of everything he was, a blueprint for everything he would ever be. Heaven required the Archangel Raphael, and he had been made in the shape of that need, every crease and contour of him moulded to it.

So Crowley didn’t understand why it fit him so poorly.

Perhaps that was why he’d been so quick to give himself a different name when he’d slipped away to Earth that first time. And perhaps that was why he’d kept hold of that name even after he returned to Heaven, cradled it in his heart and mind, until somehow -almost without him noticing - it became the way he thought of himself. Even though no-one else ever called him by it, or even knew of its existence.

(Except for one person, of course. But he—)

“Knock knock!”

Doors hadn’t even been invented yet and Gabriel had already found a way to annoyingly disregard them. Crowley rolled his eyes before he could stop himself. Gabriel’s beaming smile dialled down a few notches.

“Hey, now, enough of the attitude, buddy.” Gabriel glanced around Crowley’s chamber, taking in the stacks of celestial paperwork that had devoured most of the furniture. “I’m doing you a favour. Helping you not to be late for once.”

Crowley almost said, Late for what?

He caught himself at the last second.

“Right. Yeah. ‘Course. Wouldn’t want to be late.”

He looked towards the tall window that opened onto one of Heaven’s gleaming plazas, trying to figure out how long he’d been absorbed in what he was doing. There was no sun in the sky, but the light did have that silvery quality that suggested night was on its way. Crowley felt that he’d never really got the hang of Time. Back in the Beginning, it had seemed easy enough, measured by the pulses of stars and the rippling of gravity, but since the creation of the world, everything had somehow started to move too fast and too desperately slowly all at once. He was always late for something, or impatiently waiting for something else, or caught somewhere between the two in an agony of frustration and indecision.

“Especially since you missed the last meeting entirely,” Gabriel went on pointedly.

“I was… caught up in work,” Crowley mumbled. He pushed aside the scroll he’d been reading and stood up. “Lots to do.”

“So I see,” Gabriel replied, now examining Crowley’s desk, which was a big ornate marble slab that he personally hated. It was barely visible beneath the drifts of scrolls and clay tablets and - Crowley was guiltily aware - several small flasks of starstuff that he played around with when he got bored. “You know, no-one else seems to have this much trouble keeping on top of things.”

Shame and a pang of fear curled in Crowley’s chest. He folded his arms defensively across his chest and strode towards the door.

“I thought you didn’t want to be late?”

Gabriel followed him out into the corridor, but then took the lead, heading for the entrance hall. The Archangels were all stationed in the citadel at the heart of the Silver City, to which there was only one entrance and exit, guarded at all times. Some policy change following Lucifer’s rebellion, despite the fact that by definition there was no-one left in Heaven who harboured ill intent towards their superiors. Crowley couldn’t remember if he’d agreed to it at the time, or if he’d even been consulted.

He would have preferred to make himself at home in one of the high towers where he could see the stars. Perhaps then Gabriel wouldn’t have be so quick to come and get him. Crowley scoured his memory for any clue to the topic, and came up blank. He’d missed the last one like it, apparently, but that didn’t help. He missed a lot of meetings. And deadlines. And, not infrequently, entire days, inasmuch as days existed in this timeless place.

There was just… so much, now that the humans had spread all over the Earth. It was amazing how far they’d gone in their first thousand years, and how fast they’d multiplied. There were so many things to think about, so many details to try and keep track of, so few easy answers. He didn’t understand how the other Archangels managed it so effortlessly. The human that Crowley was in the middle of assessing had suffered so many hardships, struggled through so much; could she really be blamed for slipping up here and there, for her moments of unkindness and anger? But she hadn’t hit the metrics for automatic admission to Heaven, nor done anything terrible enough to guarantee her a place in Hell, and so there she was on Crowley’s desk, and it was up to him to make the decision, one way or another.

He didn’t know what would happen if he got it wrong. So far, he seemed to have scraped by. So far, he hadn’t failed…

A great, shuddering wave of fear swept through him. He shoved it away, like he always did. And like he always did, he reached for the memory of sunlight through leaves and the smell of pine, someone who had once looked at him and seen Crowley rather than Raphael, and not found him wanting.

Then he shoved that away too, along with the regret and the sadness and the guilt that were wrapped tightly around it.