#But I think we both deserve better
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As someone with an extremely hyper-religious mother who forbid us from celebrating Christmas because she denounced it as "evil pagan rituals, we don't know when Jesus was born", I have no idea when Christmas is. Like genuinely, is it on the 24th, the 25th, the 26th or the 27th?
I know there's like, pre-Christmas and then Christmas (is there post Christmas?).
Anyone mind telling me about it? I honestly don't know much about the holiday.
#It sucked so bad#Especially when close family would give me stuff and exchange stuff and I wasn't allowed or able to give them anything#And everyone is always so happy#And it just feels so hollow to me because we use to sit in silence on those days#We would sometimes barbecue the day after Christmas but it doesn't feel the same#My dad has been doing his best to celebrate Christmas after the divorse#I love him and the effort#But I think we both deserve better#We were both screwed over so fucking hard
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pokemon trainer kohane anyone?
#i think her dragonair would evolve into dragonite around like kickup if we go by canon story progression#to match up with her growth overall#in a pokemon universe uhhhhhhhhhhhh. something similar with her fully growing into her confidence yknow#regardless. i think she deserves a bunch of snake pokemon#i think the seviper is a gift from her father. count pearl stand in kind of#project sekai#prsk art#project sekai fanart#prsk fa#kohane azusawa#pokemon#dedenne#seviper#scolipede#ampharos#dragonair#silicobra#w1f1 draws#also i dont get people who give kohane a morpeko instead of dedenne. theyre both hamsters and dedenne suits her so much better#ampharos is a reference to kickup (sheep) while also being the kind of pokemon i think suits her in general#and scolipede is here because its snake adjacent enough shapewise that i could see her with it#and kohane with a giant bug is funny and i like it
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She can't keep getting away with this!
[First] Prev <--> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#MDZS#season 1#wei wuxian#lan jingyi#lan sizhui#little apple#I think little apple deserves to cause more mayhem. As a treat#I love how despite her hating wwx they both have the same 'burn all bridges' mentality in gusu lan#little apple would have been able to escape gusu lan if she had thumbs. What the hell is *your* excuse wwx? Huh?#MXY's asscheeks too dummy thick and it keeps alerting hanguan-jun? Sounds like a skill issue#I was too ambitious with wanting to have this scene be on fire. Its a better version of#the fourth comic but still...i have much to learn about the ways of drawing fire#much to learn about drawing in general actually B*( but I'm getting there!#i hope you guys enjoy the preview of wwx showing a little more skin. We still have eons to go until we’re at the dilf era outfit#but its on the roadmap#EDIT: HAPPY INTERNATIONAL WOMENS DAY!!!
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Quick comfort doodles because brains being weirdly mean for some reason
#rain world#rain world downpour#doodles#artihunter#hunting spears#spearhunter#qpr (hunting spears)#rw hunter#rw artificer#rw spearmaster#rw shipping#dw i’ll feel better in a bit! just getting through the weird funky feeling night#listen - spears and hunter are so queer platonic to me and artificer should shake hands with spears#‘yes we both think hunter deserves the best’ but in their own ways as wlw and qpr#powerful#i…need to do more silly doodles with pixel pens actually#it’s fun. don’t mind me-#i’m also playing more of the arti campaign i have no idea where i’m going even when i watched playthroughs lmfao#tbf i used them more as background noise#still think spearmaster fits my playstyle more. dual weild…
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shep I was talking to my brother about dbhc xisuma as one does and mentioned that ask about not being able to puzzle xisuma's face together mentally and my brother joked that the reason you put the spoiler bars and such on his face is cause you cant draw his whole face yet 😂
anyway I might have talked his ear off about dbhc idk tho lmao
LMAOO NOOOO!!! MY SECRET FINALLY IS OUT!!! /silly
#HEHE thats rly fun though i hope your brother is enjoying the osmosis XD#truthfully... drawing xisuma's face is still really difficult for me... bc he's always like. the character whose personality and character#like. comes from the fact that we never see his face? and so there's something about him that feels more... right when his face is just.#a mystery#but i DO have a facecanon for him. esp for dbhc bc its important. even if when i think Xisuma i don't think of his face the way i might whe#I think of other characters. that isn't the reason why I spoiler it though XD when we get the face reveal it'll be obvious enough. i hope#LMAO.#anyway#idk like#some of the first sketches i did of Xisuma's face will still be my favorites tbh#it's hard to capture the same energy of a rough sketch when you try to sharpen those soft edges into a clean picture yknow?#i HAVE gotten better at it though.... square-ish face but soft on the edges... kind blue eyes... hair always tied back tightly and neatly#idk. i think about him a LOT#especially lately but we knew this hehehe#i think he deserves to take the helmet off every once and a while and just. breathe and get out of his own head yknow#i think he gets better at it in s9 even if he only takes it off around people he really trusts (keralis and cleo)#not that doc hasnt seen him or that he distrusts doc but... well. that whole relationship is a work in progress since season 8 was. well#anyway im really and truly rambling <3#xisumas face is both an enigma to me and a soft sturdy shape in my brain... its hard to replicate consistently but those doodles are#just for me anyway =w= <3#(and a few select others. who Know. you know who you are)
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PLEASE DO NOT TAG AS YOUR OWN OC OR PAIRING.
Nathan and Ruben share a bond more powerful than most; mutual understanding through past experiences no one should ever have to go through, and through past actions so horrible they cannot be spoken of. Their grief and the blood on their hands binds them to the STEM technology they created, which has alienated them from the rest of the world— but they give each other the comfort they have both longed for so desperately for years, and that is all they need. They are each other's counterpart; you cannot imagine one without the other, like two sides of the same coin. Through their pain, their grief, their desire, and their regret, they have become one.
anna akhmatova, the guest // bones; equinox // 'i won't become' by kim jakobsson // agustín gómez-arcos, the carnivorous lamb // by oxy // achilles come down; gang of youths // czeslaw milosz, from 'new and collected poems: 1931-2001' // 'extended ambience portrait from a resonant biostructure' and 'migraine tenfold times ten' by daniel vega // a little death; the neighbourhood // marina tsvetaeva, from 'poem of the end' // by drummnist // katie maria, winter // 'nocturne in black and gold the falling rocket' by james abbott mcneill whistler // micah nemerever, these violent delights // body language; we are fury // 'the penitent' by emil melmoth // chelsea dingman, from 'of those who can't afford to be gentle'
taglist (opt in/out)
@shellibisshe, @florbelles, @ncytiri, @hibernationsuit, @stars-of-the-heart;
@lestatlioncunt, @katsigian, @radioactiveshitstorm, @estevnys, @adelaidedrubman;
@celticwoman, @rindemption, @carlosoliveiraa, @noirapocalypto, @dickytwister;
@killerspinal, @euryalex, @ri-a-rose, @velocitic, @thedeadthree
#tew#edit:nathan#nuclearocs#nuclearedits#so much shame in my body but still used my taglist but um let me know if you want to be excluded from oc/ship web weaves#just really wanted to share this one because i'm very proud of it and i want it on my blog. so. :]#recognition of the self through the other + wanting so desperately for the other to be deserving of a second chance#because if there is hope for them than there is hope for you etc etc and so on. that's the core of their dynamic i think#they understand each other on such a fundamental level that no one else comes close to because they are in so many ways the same#like how in in the first game leslie could sync up with ru/vik and all that? nathan would be a VERY good candidate for that as well#and it makes me insane!! and then the added layer of nathan being lead developer of mobius' new and improved STEM system#which makes him the same as ru/vik AGAIN but in like. the way that they're both men of [computer] science#and there's the fact they both have a dead sister. they both killed their parents. they were both mobius playthings for YEARS#and they've happily killed and tortured during all of it. they're angry they're out for revenge they're completely disconnected from#the normal human experience and they're working with what they have. and then after all of that is over then what is left?#their story focuses on them picking up all the pieces. everything that's still salvageable at least. and try to start over in a way#they cannot be forgiven for what they've done but they can move on from the past and do different in the future#there's still things left undone and left unsaid... in my canon at least. i know there's not gonna be any more games. it's fine#anyway they end up going to therapy and then they get better they're not a doomed couple they just like being dramatic#if you read all of this we can get married tomorrow if you'd like
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You still can’t convince me that the whole ‘Steve abandons everyone in the present to go back to Peggy’ thing was a well thought out/well developed ending for his character that made any sense for his post-catfa character arc (let alone all the time travel stuff) bc wdym none of the people who made the movie can figure out the logistics of it??
#quite frankly I think it’s insulting to both of their characters#steve rogers deserved better#peggy carter deserved better#all of the filmmakers getting asked about this when the movie came out#and all of them coming up with different explanations#like did you guys not talk about this at all#just pulled it out of your asses and went with it I guess??#like hmm how do we retire this character after like 6 movies#hmm I guess we’ll just have him go back in time and marry his love interest from his first movie#we’ll just disregard his whole moving on and growing arc it’ll be fine#like all the sudden in endgame he’s suddenly clinging to the compass again and calling Peggy the love of his life#like did he not get over her years ago??#idk make it make sense to me#steve rogers#captain america#peggy carter#avengers endgame#mcu#marvel
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Yk what gets me so mad? It is the lack of empathy and sympathy that some of fandom has towards Katniss reactions towards Peeta’s hijacking. I absolutely think Katniss was unfair and cruel in how she handle his hijacking (at times, she was not always mean to him) but so was Peeta towards her. The fandom can show so much empathy towards Peeta, to the point that we excuse everything with “it’s beyond his control , that’s not him, everything hijsck Peeta does is not real.” Like sorry!? It’s very real. And Katniss should’ve handle it better, but my god she’s just 17 and literally the love of her life, the person she deemed as precious almost KILLED HER!??? she felt betrayed, abandoned, beyond hurt by her peetas treatment towards her.
Could she have been nicer, more empathetic, and more gentle ? yes, but she tried her best during the capitol mission where she planned to die. I just , idk it’s becoming a little bit misogynistic to me atp
#everlark#katniss everdeen#peeta mellark#katniss and peeta#mockingjay#I’m sorry for ranting but I’m so mad#I think both deserve better#not to say she doesn’t deserve criticism but have the same energy with bread boy#I love Peeta so much but he’s not perfect#he’s still baby girl#but Katniss is my girl and I’ll defend her til the day I die#it’s so weird how we can sympathize beyond towards Peeta but not towards Katniss
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CC: [cheers heard in the background] Yes mate!! You did it!! Yes! That–that is a hell of a–[setup talk] Unbelievable.
FA: Copy, guys. This is for you guys, this is for you. This is for all of you, all of you guys. All of the the factory, everyone. Everyone, this is for you. Everyone [unintelligible], thank you very much.
CC: Well done, mate, I'm well impressed.
#for rosie!!! and anyone else whos never seen this bcs i certainly didnt#to me they sound like theyre gonna cry 😭😭😭 dw me too fr guys#and nando dedicating it to eveyrone is sooooo aoft#okay no offense to max i love him sm but god this radio was way better and way more worth it than his#both this and the dotd im salty abt bcs like okay sure they were battling up there for lead#but not for NEARLY as long as nando was defending#like maybe if it was someones first win sure but i honestly think nando deserves literally all the attention for this race#my dad kept making 'go away' hand motions whenever they showed max or lando instead of our guy 😭😭#god this team makes me soooooo unwell#bur yeah idk!!! i didnt see anyone post this!!!!#and yeah its 7 hours or so late but IT MADE ME CRY OKAY#f1#formula 1#fernando alonso#2023 brazilian gp#we do a little bit of f1
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haikyu's dumpster batte is only going to be around 1 hour and 24 minutes, oh it's genuinely bokuakaover
#knowing that we're likely not going to get an ova too is painful <//3#m sorry to go off on a bit of a tangent#but I can't help but feel bitter that an actually good series with coherence and amazing characters just gets treated like this#and series like jjk and demon slayer get to have such good adaptations?#I don't hate both series btw as I watch them myself but even I have more criticisms in their story and charas compared to hq#jjk at this rate is being carried by satosugu shippers and popularity the story honestly is slowly losing substance :'DD#and it's disappointing such a series manages to get to have a consistent adaptation vs a good and inspiring story#which is why I can't help but feel <//3 whenever ppl rant about the jjk animation cause it's better than the hq treatment TvT#don't get me started on demon slayer I have mixed feelings about that series as well but I love it for what it's worth xD#and if people say the hq fandom is being bitter or biased isn't it justifiable?#a consistent and amazing narrative gets butchered me thinks people have a right to feel the way they do#naturally the fandom is not downplaying the efforts of the animators and voice actors but we also have a right to feel the way we do#we feel the way we do out of genuine love for a series that inspired and helped us so much#it's just so unfair TvT#m terribly sorry again for ranting and dropping negativity but I feel really disheartened about this news#and not simply cause ofc we won't get the bokuaka match#but also because my favorite series doesn't deserve this#eli rambles#bokuaka#haikyu#haikyuu#haikyu!!#hq
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This is what I did during my spare time... I'm fine.
Side Notes: I didn't add any of the actual players for simplicity's sake, but I did add characters played by the CCs that aren't their main characters such as Arin, ElQuackity, and Sapo Peta.
It will be too complicated to add ex-alliances and spy-related stuff... but if I did! Jaiden will be between the "knows the federation" and "sides with the players" and Etoiles will be between "understands the codes" and "sides with the players" just because there are no real secrets about it if you watch their POVs.
#qsmp#this is what I did in Valentine's Day because my aro-ace ass couldn't think of anything better to spend my time on#also the thing that shock me the most out of this is THAT THE FUCKING DOG WORKS FOR THE FEDS WHAT#also the Watcher may hate the Federation and stuff but only really knows about Egg Island and nothing else#so he is included in the same area as Cucurucho Mr Duck and the Bunnies#and the Fed workers are in between because they LIKE the players 80% of them are friends or more that the other workers ARE NOT#Creation is so new but I think I'm okay in the placement for now just because is not attached to the Players enough to move to where Arin i#also there's a glee on seeing Ayrobot and SOFIA (Max's robo-daughter) in the same place just for perfectly for my little aymaxo brain#also I'm putting all the Cucurucho's on the Feds because there's not much distinguishing Cucurcho from Osito Bimbo and Ourson#also that's Madagio not naked Slenderman... although both of them would be in the same slot#and all the individual gods like Mine Kristin/Mumza Matt and both Cellbit's and Philza's individual god entities are still there#because we know them as the audience but we don't know what the fuck they know and what they can do even if they canonically exist#also I don't know what the fuck is @v@ so clearly deserves that spot despite being able to infect players federation works and the codes
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love nick and i’m happy he’s getting all these opportunities but it’s so exhausting seeing how easy hollywood is to navigate for him after a breakout role vs how it is for his poc co star. all while nick fans on twitter are saying wild racist shit, some fans off both are deciding blatant racism and people being unkind to nick are basically the same thing and “both sides should stop”. it feels so unfair
I understand the feeling and the frustration, god knows how much it hurts me when I see that hate but there's really nothing we can do about it, right?
and talking about the roles... we just have to be patient, I know his moment will come.
#before you come at me with your usual hate#I love nick#he's so talented and he deserves to work#BUT when you follow both of them i think it's normal being frustrated when we saw how difficult is for one and how easy is for the other#I'm not saying one is better than the other or deserve more#but still it sucks how hollywood works#and yeah the continuing racism and hate is getting exhausting#ask me anything
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who else haunted by an apology you never got the chance to make???? 🤪🤪🤪
#this isn't too serious this is about my college roommate#i was awful and i think about it all the time and wish i could send her a pizza and say any resentment is justified i'm so sorry#but i don't keep track of people. i don't know her last name i don't know how to contact her or if she'd even want that#i just think about it constantly for some fucking reason#if you're out there....man i'm sorry i didn't try harder to be friends i was 19 and at my absolute worst#I'm sorry about the illegal rat cage i never cleaned#literally i wish i could pay you reparations you wouldn't have to say a word to me just receive 'you didn't deserve that' + 50 usd#i think part of why this particular memory is so persistent- and has been for years like it constantly comes up when i'm tired-#is because the stakes are relatively low#like i was just a shit. i was just annoying and unkind. and then we both moved on and i'm better now and i assume she's ok.#the scope of it is just small enough.... like a burr. in my brain.#I'm hoping if i throw this into the ether i won't think about it as much lol#m2a
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just watch your moral puritanism idk. we can simultaneously say ‘mental illness isn’t an excuse or a reason to be an abuser’ and ‘this person is obviously struggling and we can tell by their actions, it’s important we keep anyone they could hurt safe while also approaching with curiosity because that’s the way they’re going to get better, not judgement’
#look I’m biased but when a common fear of parents of PDAers is that we’re gonna turn out abusive#and that’s why they turn to discipline harder which fair enough to some degree. I learned to never take anything out on other people#in the end when you’re operating from trauma brain and desperation this isn’t the right strategy#and if certain substances make you unable to control certain behaviours it’s both true that you need to stay away from them and that youre#not thinking rationally. this is why appropriate resources for recovery are SO IMPORTANT especially ones that aren’t based in. the#Protestant work ethic but actually understand trauma disorders and the need for a feeling of safety#seeing so much ableism because that’s what it is. does it mean that certain things aren’t abuse? no! don’t assume someone condones it#I’ve said time and again if you want to do better and be a better person. you have to learn how not to judge and hate yourself too badly#because if you label yourself as something bad you’re never gonna do better#and even if you don’t care bc someone deserves that label. you don’t want them to hurt anyone else do you?#this is not about one specific scenario btw. this is about; do we want to take care of people properly? look at it systemically#ffs you can’t just lock up one portion of society and forget they exist and everyone else will be happy
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i love vueko but i need to be slightly less vueko* and more belaf. and i don’t just mean i want to be a confident and dignified and intense looking person of unconventional appearance whose gender isn’t necessarily clear upon initial visual assessment. actually maybe i do
#*note: i think she’s a way way stronger and better person than me!!#i actually generally resist comparing myself to Vue for that reason#it goes hand in hand with my frustration with how much o fthe fandom infantilizes or victimizes her#i don’t see her that way! i think she has way more strength and agency than me even if she has no idea#BUT#we are both nervous blobs. this is inescapable.#(i also think that Sex Meta Aside we both love the same way. deep admiration with no expectation of return.)#(it can be dangerous unless you fall for someone that truly deserves it. but that aspect is entirely down to my Belavue Hallucinations)#(anyway i need to be less of a self Doubt Blob even though i love that Self Doubt Blob)#this post wasn’t really about gender it was about dignity and confidence but also if we’re gonna go there#i’m a woman but I want to be a woman like everyone’s favorite Androgynous Woman Version of Belaf#GNC Woman Belaf in Vuebela Yuri..Save Me [All of That Phrase Repeated]…#are there seven gender versions i like for that thing or only six? I forgot. I need to write a list again
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Back on my meds, making a damn decent paycheck despite how many days I had to take off this month, my mom’s feeling better now that she’s home and we’ve figured everything out, our neighbor’s gonna build us a wheelchair ramp for cheap, and my dad miiiiiiiiight be buying a new car as we speak 🤞 (my mom just can’t get into the truck anymore, and she hasn’t wanted to drive her two seater for a while now, so we’re trading it for something practical). Things are finally going fairly well, all things considered ❤️
#she speaks#after the absolute hell we’ve been in all October I think we deserve a fucking break#hopefully this post doesn’t jinx the car lol#we’re keeping the truck obv cuz like we got livestock#but the lil beamer has got to go unfortunately#sad it’s a fun lil car#but it hasn’t been getting the love it deserves and it’s time for something more suited to our needs as a family#kinda exciting really I hope we get it#we all fucking hate spending money so both my parents have been waffling on it for a couple of days#but like I told them mama you got a doctor’s appointment next week for your g tube#and then a hospital follow up with our pcp the week after that#and you’re gonna have to see a gi and a nutritionist pretty regularly#and there’s gonna be more surgeon follow ups I’m sure#and eventually we’re gonna need to take you to outpatient pt cuz we can’t have a home health pt forever#cuz insurance only pays for it for like six weeks#so either we’re gonna have to rent a car every time you go to the doctor#or we gotta buy one#and like this isnt going away you’ll have to go to the doctor often#cuz you’re missing like half of your small intestine#so getting a rental all the time is gonna suck#it would be better to have a car you can get in and out of easily just on hand#not to mention eventually you’re gonna wanna get out of this house just for the hell of it#and it’s not like we can wake up one morning and decide hey let’s go on a day trip#and then waste two hours driving back and forth from the nearest enterprise#which is on an extremely busy two lane highway and is FUCKING terrifying to get to lmfao#so with any luck my dad will keep that in mind and not back out at the dealership lol
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