#But I know I can't.... I have to get a job at some point and it sucks

[sweetiesicheng]

seonghwa - café

word count : 953

-

"y/n, you gotta stay awake," you hear your friend say to you.

you just grumble as you take a second and rest your eyes. you have been studying at a café for hours for exams with a one of your friends.

"why do we have two exams on monday?" you mumble to him.

"beats me," he sighs. "oh damn, i gotta go," he says, realizing that he has to leave. you open your eyes and see him scrambling to pack up his things.

"did you forget about your club again?" you ask him.

"i'm never being an officer for a club ever again," he says and slings his stuffed backpack over his backpack. "i'll text if i go to the library tonight," he says to you.

"okay. see ya."

"bye!" he waves and jogs out of the café.

you look at the time and decide to buy another coffee. you grab your wallet and get up from the table. then, you head to the cashier and wait for one of the workers to come over to you.

"ah, iced coffee, extra sugar?"

one of the workers comes over to the cash register.

"oh, uh no. not this time. can i get a large vanilla latte?" you request, "iced."

"anything else? food?" he asks you. you quickly scan over the half empty case but decide against getting a treat for yourself. you shake your head to answer. "alright, just tap your card here," he instructs, pointing to the card machine. you tap your card and wait for it to process. "you're all set. i'll bring it over to you," he says with a smile.

"thanks," you reply with a smile.

you return to your table and decide to study for your other exam. you clean up a bit and neaten up the table while taking out the textbook for the class.

right before you're about to resume studying, the worker comes up to you with your latte.

"oh, thank you," you say to him.

"no problem," he replies. "kitchen closes an hour before we close by the way. in case you want something to eat later."

you smile at him, "thanks for letting me know."

"of course." he walks back to behind the counter.

you take a sip of the latte and smile at the taste. then, you start to study for your other exam.

—

a few hours go by, no more latte and all of the material studied. you sigh and tilt your head back for a second while closing your eyes.

need more coffee...

you open your eyes and sit up and grab your water bottle. while taking a sip of water, you debate if you want more caffeine in your system but ultimately decide against it since you need to sleep tonight.

just as you're about to continue studying, you see the worker from earlier come up to you with a juice box in his hand.

"want one?" he asks, "i bought a pack on my break."

"oh, thank you," you say to him and take the juice box. "you're really nice."

"ah, can't help it. you've been studying here all day," he replies to you while you poke the straw through the top of the juice box.

"you a student too?" you ask him.

he nods, "graduated last semester actually. i have a job lined up in a few months, so i'm just working here in the meantime," he explains to you. "i'm seonghwa."

"y/n," you reply. "it's nice to meet you."

"yea, you too," he says with a smile. then, he looks over his shoulder, "oh, i need to help them," he says and hurries to help out a customer.

guess i could take a break for a bit.

you wait for seonghwa to come back, but it seems like he gets caught up in working as you wait. you decide to scroll through your phone for a bit in order to distract yourself.

after some time, seonghwa appears at your table again, this time with a small sandwich that is cut into two pieces.

"kitchen made an extra," he says to you as he puts the plate on the table.

"oh, let me pay for it," you say and reach for your backpack to get your wallet.

"don't worry about it, really," seonghwa says to you. "besides, i'm taking half because i'm hungry," he adds and takes one half of the sandwich.

you laugh, "thanks." he hums in response while eating.

"still have a lot to study?" he asks.

"feels like it, but i actually went through a lot already," you answer him.

"i think you need a break," seonghwa says to you.

"i think you're correct, seonghwa," you reply.

all of a sudden, another worker comes up to the two of you. "seonghwa! save the flirting for after we close! you need to mop!" the guy says to seonghwa and hands a mop to him. the guys walks away while shaking his head and grumbling about cleaning.

"i wasn't even flirting with her," seonghwa argues back before eating another bite of the sandwich. "ignore him," he says to you.

you laugh, "alright," you reply. "maybe i should leave so you can focus."

he frowns, "leaving me already? so sad." he sighs.

"you working tomorrow?" you ask him.

"hm? tomorrow? yea," he answers and stands up.

"then you'll see me tomorrow," you say to him.

he nods with a smile, "okay, tomorrow."

"seonghwa! hurry up! i want to go home!"

seonghwa rolls his eyes and stands up. "i heard you the first time," he says to his coworker. he looks at you, "see ya."

"see ya," you say and start packing up while seonghwa starts cleaning.

[whimsyfinny]

He’s a Winchester

Chapter 3

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: It's been a long time since (Y/n) and Dean's paths have crossed. Last time they saw each other it was ‘98 and they were young and living in the moment. Nine years down the Line, their paths cross again, but (Y/n)s longest kept secret is about to become Deans reality.

Slow burn (ish), mom!reader

Warnings: language, anxious Dean, anxious Reader

Chapter Word Count: 2683

MDNI 18+

A/N: another slightly shorter chapter (sorry). Idk why but I rewrote this chapter so many times to try and get it right, so fingers crossed it’s not awful. But the encounter finally happens! Not long now until we get to see Dean doing dad things, and tbh, I’m living for it. Feedback is always appreciated! Love you all

A/N2: GUYS IT GOES WITHOUT SAYING but PLEEEEASE provide your age if you want to be added to the taglist and it isn’t in your blog. This story is tame now but it’s gonna get spicy, and my blog is strictly 18+. So pleeeeease save be a very long job and help a gal out.

Photos from Pinterest

New Readers Start Here: Chapter 1

Previous Chapter: Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Spilling the truth took a lot less time than I'd anticipated, so after a quick update texted to Kat and the much needed coffees, Dean and I decided to head over to the track. Dean himself was feeling every emotion under the sun. He expressed a constant string of heartfelt apologies for nearly the whole walk from Jolenes’ Café back to where we'd parked, despite me constantly reminding him that he has nothing to apologise for. He's here now, and that's what matters. The phrases ‘I have a son,’ and ‘I’m a dad’ seemed to intertwine with the ‘I’m sorry’s’ like a mantra, to the point where I had to stop him in his tracks and refocus his attention before his head got lost in the clouds.

“I get it, Dean. This is so much to absorb right now, and I can't imagine what is going on in that crazy brain of yours. You don't have to come with me right now, we can meet tomorrow if you want-”

“No, absolutely not. I've been absent for too long and I'll be damned if I waste another minute,” he nervously wiped his hands over his face as we approached my truck. I couldn't help but smile. “I mean, what if he doesn't like me?”

I couldn't stop the chuckle from escaping my mouth, earning a raised eyebrow from the man who was working himself into an anxious sweat.

“Dean, trust me, he's going to want to be your best friend. Especially when he knows that’s your car,” I nodded my head to the impala a few spaces away, recalling Levi's excitement when he saw it in town yesterday.

“Really?”

“Really. Plus…” I hesitated, unsure what emotion my next statement was going to stir within Dean, “he's been bullied for not having a dad around, and I think he'll be grateful for that to stop.”

Deans’ brows furrowed as he leant on the side of my truck, dropping his head and muttering a few curses.

“He's been bullied because I've not been there?” He looked up with a pained pinch in his brow. I sighed.

“Yes but trust me, your boy gives as good as he gets,” I smiled a little, bringing Dean some reassurance. I could tell the words ‘your boy’ had an effect on him. “Look,” I reached out to rub his shoulder affectionately, to which he responded with a warm hand over mine, squeezing my fingers. “We need to get going to pick him up. Why don't you come in my truck with me?” He paused for a moment, thinking, gathering his thoughts before standing up straight and nodding. “Great,” I grinned at him, a few nervous butterflies fluttering in my own stomach now. I reached for his hand again, giving it another squeeze, “let's get going then.”

Dean had insisted on driving, mainly for his own sanity and I’d happily obliged, remembering what a terrible passenger he was. After a couple of painstaking minutes of him readjusting my seat, we pulled away and headed down to the track. 

The drive was about twenty minutes, and most of that was spent in a comfortable conversation about Levi. Dean wanted to know everything. And I mean everything. His hobbies, his favourite movie, his favourite cereal, his least favourite cereal, his grades, his favourite subject… the list went on. Before we knew it, we were turning down a dirt road and pulling into a large gravel car park. As we pulled up and hopped out, the buzz of dirt bikes and loud chatter filled the air, along with the intense smell of petrol. Dean walked around to my side, looking around and taking it all in.

“Levi does this? He can ride a dirt bike?” he asked, an impressed tone to his voice. Dean had forgone the leather jacket and as I glanced at him, I couldn't help but trail my gaze over his biceps and the way the grey fabric of his t-shirt stretched around the large muscles. I looked away quickly before he caught me. Now was not the time to let my eyes or thoughts wander.

“Yeah, he's really into it, and he's good too; he has a few trophies at home. To be honest, he loves anything with wheels and an engine,” I grinned, meeting Deans’ eyes with a knowing look. He smiled back.

“Really?”

“You know, he's a lot like you - even though you've never met. It's kinda crazy,” I started heading down to the gathering point, knowing that Levi would be coming off the track soon. Dean was hot on my heels. “He even looks like you.” 

“Poor kid.”

I smacked him on the arm playfully as Dean chuckled.

“You're handsome and you know it, so shut your mouth.”

“Yes ma’am.”

Just as we were approaching the gathering point I heard a familiar voice calling my name. Looking through the crowd I saw Kat trotting up to us in her poorly chosen footwear, Toby nowhere in sight. She pulled me into a hug with a smirk already growing on her lips, and as she pulled back she turned to study the tall man at my side.

“Hmm… you are even finer than your photograph.”

“Kat!”

She ignored me.

“I'm Kat, it's nice to meet you, Dean. I feel like we'll be seeing a lot more of each other. You know, since our son's are besties,” she stuck out her hand and grasped Deans, giving it a firm shake and dropping it before he'd even uttered a word. She turned back to me, her smirk still on her lips.

“Since Levi is coming home with you today - much to Toby's disappointment - how would you feel about him sleeping over tomorrow?”

“Yeah totally, he'd love that,” I grinned at her, forever grateful.

“Great! I'll pick him up tomorrow,” she beamed, pressing a quick kiss to my cheek before turning on her heels and heading back into the crowd of parents. We'd normally wait for the boys to emerge together, but I know her, and she didn't want to step on Deans’ toes. This was a big deal, and in her eyes, she was the outsider here.

“What was that?” Dean looked at me, slightly stunned with a quizzical brow.

“That,” I gestured to Kat's disappearing figure, “is Kat. She's my best friend, and to be honest I don't think I'd have made it this far without her.”

“Kat. Got it,” he seemed to make a mental note of who she was, catching on quickly that she was an important person in my life. In Levi's life. I grinned at him, perhaps a little nervously before grasping his hand and pulling him with me in the same direction Kat had left.

“Come on, he’ll be out soon, let's wait for him.”

Dean flashed the smallest smile whilst taking a deep breath. He looked down at our hands and I noticed his palms were a little sweaty. He gripped tighter, hanging to me like I was a lifeline as I pulled him through the crowd. His silence spoke volumes of his nerves, so I stopped at the edge of the gaggle of parents, fearing that he would soon find this all too much. 

For the whole five minutes that we waited, Dean didn't let go of me.

It didn't take long for the whirring of tiny engines to draw closer and closer before finally stopping, shortly followed by the chatter of smaller, childlike voices. Kids began to filter through the crowd, and it wasn’t long before a familiar outline pushing a small, black dirt bike headed our way. Suddenly Dean pulled his hand away from mine and raked his fingers frantically through his hair, pacing in a small circle.

“Shit…shit- what do I say to him? How do I talk to him? He's gonna hate me-”

“Hey hey hey, calm down, everything is fine! Trust me, Dean, Levi is not going to hate you,” I reached to rub a hand over the back of his shoulders, feeling the muscles tense and flex with every deep breath he took. 

“I've done a lot of terrifying shit in my life but this really takes the cake,” he dragged a large hand over his paleing face.

“He's an eight year old boy, baby. Trust me, you've got this.” 

He sighed before stopping in his tracks, his gaze catching mine with a twitch of his lip.

“It's been a hot minute since you've called me that, sweetheart,” he stepped closer, reaching to touch the small of my back with tender fingertips.

It took a moment for realisation to dawn, and when it did I felt heat bloom across my cheeks. 

“I-I'm sorry- it just slipped out- I didn't mean-”

“(Y/n) it's ok! I don't mind,” he chuckled slightly, his nerves seeming to dissipate. The playful glint had returned to his eye for a moment, but it was quickly replaced with something calmer, more serene. His grin lessened, but the warmth in his features remained. “I don't mind.”

I looked up at him, my heart and stomach feeling warm and light as we seemed to acknowledge our own familiarity between each other. It wasn't just Levi that connected us, and I seemed to forget that Dean and I used to be in a relationship. We were more than just a one night stand - we were intimate on multiple levels. 

“Hey mom!” 

The bubble around Dean and I popped as Levi had crept up on us, crash helmet still equipped and his bike to his side.  I felt Dean tense beside me, the air around him practically sizzling with anticipation.

“Hey there, trouble! You had a good afternoon?” I stepped up to Levi and patted his helmet. He nodded vigorously.

“Great! You can tell me all about it in the car,” I paused and glanced at Dean, frozen in place and not taking his eyes off Levi since he appeared. It took a moment for Levi to realise that Dean was even standing there, his focus still on me and his fun afternoon. After a few breaths, Dean tore his gaze away from his son and he looked over at me, his expression heavy with a whole concoction of emotions. I offered him a small smile before nodding. 

“Hey, Levi,” I crouched down to my sons’  level, “I have a surprise for you. I'm gonna need you to take your helmet off, ok?”

I saw his eyes light up as he nodded vigorously. Helping him to support his bike, he eagerly tore his helmet off, his short brown hair tousling in the process. He grinned at me, his helmet now tucked under his arm as he waited patiently. I heard a sharp inhale hiss through Deans’ teeth from behind me as he laid eyes on his sons’ face for the first time. I smiled at Levi, taking his smaller, dirt covered hand in mine.

“Ok, so… You see this man behind me?” I tilted my head in Deans’ direction, and Levi followed with his eyes.

“Yeah,” he said, his grin unfaltering.

“Well,” I drew in a breath, “his name is Dean. And I knew Dean a long time ago,” there was another apprehensive pause as my own pulse quickened. “Sweetheart… Dean… He’s, well… He’s your dad.”

I watched as the grin fell from Levis’ face, his green eyes widening.

“What?” his voice was all but a whisper, his gaze flitting rapidly between me and Dean, who’d now taken a step closer.

“He’s your dad,” I repeated, reaching up to softly comb my fingers through the front of his wild hair. Levis’ bottom lip started to tremble as my words sunk in, the truth of the situation we were in starting to hit home as tears started to well in his eyes.

“You’re serious?” he squeaked with a sniff.

I nodded, the emotions from my son now bleeding into me, a lump forming in my throat.

“Yeah honey, I’m serious.”

Levis’ helmet hit the dirt with a thud and in that instant he’d thrown himself at Dean, wrapping his arms around his waist and burying his mud streaked face into his shirt. His dad didn’t hesitate to return the gesture, wrapping his large arms around Levis’ shoulders and pulling him into the same crushing hug I’d received earlier today.

“Hey kid,” Dean spoke against the top of Levis’ head, his voice rasping as he choked his words out, “I’m sorry it took so long for me to get here.” 

I stood up from where I’d been crouching, now clutching the small helmet that had been flung to the ground. I drew Deans’ attention as I shifted, and I felt like my heart could have exploded in my chest when I saw the glossiness in his eyes. Tears of joy, relief and perhaps even bittersweet regret were on the brink of spilling over, and the soft smile he threw my way said a million ‘thank yous’.  The quiet sounds of Levis’ sniffling were what pulled on my heartstrings the most. The boy who loved nothing more than to race bikes, watch movies and talk about cars had grown up without a dad to share those interests with. He’d watched the other kids around him down at the track, their fathers joining in with the activities. Other kids had their dads to play sports with down at the park on a sunny Sunday afternoon. They’d had a role model who they could admire, always in the bedroom next to theirs. But not Levi. He’d had me, and I did my best to fill those fatherly shoes, but we both knew it just wasn’t the same. There were times when I think it upset me more than it had upset him, feeling like my child was missing out on something so important. But now… now that Dean was here, for however long he was planning on staying, Levi could finally experience the things he’d dreamt of for so long. I just hoped it would turn out to be everything that he’d ever imagined.

I watched as Levi finally pulled away from his dad, his tears having cleaned tracks through the mud on his face. He sniffed one my time before beaming up at Dean.

“Hey, kid,” Dean smiled softly, ruffling his hair with a hand the same size as his head, “maybe if your moms ok with it, we could hang out a bit. Maybe go and grab some ice-cream? My treat,” Dean shifted that smile to me, and I would’ve had to have had a heart of stone to decline that request.

“Of course,” I smiled back, “ice-cream sounds perfect.”

“Great,” Deans’ grin widened, a refreshed look in his eye as he let go of Levi and stepped towards me, taking the helmet from my hands. My breath caught in my throat when he pressed a warm, lingering kiss to my cheek. I took everything to not let my eyes flutter closed, to not get lost in that moment, but the familiar feeling of his lips on my skin and scent washing over awoke the butterflies in my stomach. My heart leapt in my chest, and I couldn’t help the sigh of relief when he pulled away, stepping around me. He kicked the bike stand back and wheeled the small vehicle forwards, looking at Levi and urging him to come and push it.

“Come on kid, why don’t you tell me all about this beast on our way back to the truck,” he smiled to his son who beamed back, leaping over to him. Dean chuckled slightly as the smaller version of himself burst into conversation about top speeds and engine strokes, and the wide look in Deans’ eyes as he glanced up at me, finally understanding what I’d meant when I’d said they were so alike. And as Levi chatted animatedly to his dad as we walked, my heart swelled as I watched them.

I couldn’t seem to look away as I witnessed Dean gaze down at his son, looking like the proudest father in the world.

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[maleyanderecafe]

Hell Trap (Visual Novel)

Created by: marikatti

Genre: Horror/Thriller

The story and artwork in this game is gorgeous. I think this might be the same artist as Paper Cuts because the artstyle seems strikingly similar. This visual novel goes into rather dark topics like suicide, rape and revenge, and it is really beautiful how the story is written so far. There is a prologue and two parts of the story as of writing this.

The story starts out with Yul recalling a childhood memory of being in the snow and walking home. He is interrupted by his sister who teases him, but feels distressed that he cannot remember her name. After some comments about how they were opposites, yet they were two peas in a pod, Yul points out her mismatched shoes. His sister promises that the two of them will be together and that they will take care of each other, something that Yul is happy about. We get a time jump to when the two are in high school. His sister plays with a friendly cat at the front of the school before the two go inside. At lunch, his sister tries to talk about him getting more friends at school, something that Yul sees as useless as he already has his sister. During lunch, Yul's sister ends up in the infirmary, after throwing up, though tries to reassure her brother it was just lunch. Yul immediately doesn't believe this as not only did they have the same lunch, but his sister has a strong stomach. After school, as they walk home, the two lament about their current situation. The two of them are living by themselves, as their dad refuses to give money for them to live with him. The two talk about their future, about how his sister is trying really hard to study well and get good grades so that she can provide for them in the future, along with the various part time jobs that they've been taking. They know their father will stop sending them money the moment that they become adults. Yul tries to get his sister to tell him what really happened to get her in the infirmary, but she refuses. At night, she has a nightmare, and while Yul is trying to wake her up, she hears her talk about how she no longer wants to be at school. The next day, Yul ends up evesdropping on her sister talking to the principal. We see a flashback of Yul's sister working at school after hours on her homework, when a teacher named Blanche comes to talk to her. Blanche talks to Yul's sister about her troubles, and offers her a way for her to make her money. She agrees, desperate for some more money, but retracts when Blanche suggests her to use her body. Blanche then pounces on her and rapes her. Yul ends up bursting into the professor's office after hearing this, much to the principal and his sister's surprise. The principal doesn't help her and instead berates her, stating that women can't be rapist and that Blanche is a good teacher, much to the sibling's dismay. Soon after, Yul's sister jumps off of a building, dying in front of Yul, with Blanche coming over and scorning him.

After the death of his sister, Yul attempts to change his appearance by dying his hair so that he isn't reminded of her every time he looks in the mirror. He grows extremely agitated and distraught, and even starts killing animals, starting with the cat that Yul's sister petted at the beginning of school. He is still not satisfied, until he sees Blanche's daughter at school one day. Yul upon seeing this starts to formulate a plan on how to cause the most pain to Blanche- by killing her daughter. After graduating, Yul follows Blanche's daughter around. First by seeing that she hangs out with her mother on Saterdays, and then by following her and learning her schedule. He does this for three years, learning everything about her and what she does in order to find the best way to kill her. On the day of the kill, Yul follows behind her, planning to choke her and bash her head in when she goes into the alleyway. All seems to be going well, at least until she suddenly screams out that she forgot her phone charger and runs in the opposite direction, leading to her getting hit by the bus instead. In shock and horror, Yul is completely undone, angry that his kill was taken away from him. He ends up helping to call the ambulance and even gets to check in on her during the accident. In an attempt to revive, her he ends up staying and wishing that she'd wake, and she does end up doing so. While talking to the doctor about who to contact, she ends up responding very negatively to the suggestion to tell her mother, something that catches Yul off guard. Afterwards, she thanks Yul for saving her, even introducing herself as Mila. Yul starts to develop some mixed feelings on the scenario, though still decides to go with his plan of killing her. He ends up sneaking into the hospital and night and tries to choke Mila on her bed, but recoils, as he realizes that her reaction with her mother's mention was unusual. He ends up leaving her alive a bit longer to find out what exactly her relationship with her mother is like.

Starting out, this visual novel does a really good job of setting the tone of the entire story. The artwork is beautiful in each scene, with the start with various exaggerated and cute types of facial expressions from Yul's sister, symbolizing her innocence and her general happy outlook on life, contrasted with later after her assault. Most of the story is told from Yul's point of view, with vivid thoughts on his sister's death and his attachment to her, wanting to stay by her side, not wanting to be friends with anyone else and of course, seeking revenge for her after her death. We see that his sister's death is so painful that he can no longer remember her name, and even changes his appearance so he is not reminded of her when he looks into the mirror. Everything for these two has been pretty tragic for a while, having to live on their own, having little to no help from parents or other relatives and of course, the lead up to the sister's death and Yul's eventual lead to revenge. The dialogue and inner thoughts of Yul really give such a powerful feeling in this entire visual novel, with the kind of tension that really wants to make you see more of it, all with a beautiful and striking black and white artwork. It really is beautiful. It's hard to predict exactly what will happen next, as I did not expect Mila to be hit by a car and fully expected her to die or almost die by Yul's hands.

It's hard to say whether or not Yul is a romantic or platonic yandere for his sister, since she does die pretty early on. I will wager that Yul is more platonic though considering he does seem more dependent on her, rather than lusts over her but regardless, he does very clearly care about and love her. Regardless, much of his revenge plot is driven by the fact that Blanche caused his sister to die, and the agony he feels afterwards. Considering he doesn't kill Mila by the end of chapter two, it is possible that he could develop feelings for her as well, as his realization that her and her mother's relationship isn't as amicable as it seems. As a yandere, he's mostly just a bit clingy initially, but after her death pretty much goes straight into more sinister roles, killing animals to try to sate her hatred of Blanche and of course stalking Mila to kill her as well as meticulously learning her schedule just to kill her. Those last ones aren't specific to yanderes themselves, but he does incorporate a lot of traits from there to get his revenge. If he does possibly fall for Mila, then these traits might come back not to try to get her killed but possibly to protect her. It is always fun to see how these more thriller like stories go.

Overall, while this is still in a demo state, it is extremely promising and is a thriller/horror type story that really keeps you on your toes. As this creator did likely create Paper Cuts, I can see their expertise in writing this as the thriller aspect of Paper Cuts really kept you on your toes. I highly recommend it and look forward to new chapters coming out in the future.

[gingergofastboatsmojito]

Fun Carmy

Fun Carmy is relaxed Carmy, the other one is Logan, his social alter ego.

I was wondering if Carmy ever had a day of fun in whole life because IMO he has always been that anxious lil kid around others, that we saw in Fishes (02X06), I’m sure. He’s better at the tête-à-tête like the one he briefly had with Michelle that evening

OR as part of small close-knit groups, like that scene in the kitchen (Ceres 01x06).

These assumptions, I think, are also completely backed up by his S1 -Emmy Winning- monologue (Braciole 01x08).

And what I ended up realizing is that FUN CARMEN is not the one we might think we haven’t really seen yet, and that fun for him does NOT look like it may look for us or for a more extrovert type of person.

I happen to be listening to Nina as I type this, and she once said:

I think that quote fits Carmy and his "sense of fun" perfectly.

Fun Carmy is relaxed Carmy, and at peace Carmy.

This is fun Carmy

Fun for Carmy doesn't look like this

Fun Carmy is relaxed Carmy

Logan is not "fun", he is actually a source of anxiety for Carmy, and that's why he can't keep him "on" for long. He wasn't lying when he said he wasn't remotely OK at the party (Pop 02x05) because at that point he hadn't turned Logan on yet.

Logan is "The other one", the one most people would label as "fun", because it better fits the social CONSTRUCT of what fun looks like, but Logan Fernello Berzatto is actually his functional alter-ego.

His functional or social alter - ego explained from a behaviorist perspective

We all have functional alter egos, this is related to the PERSONAL constructs concept developed by Psychologist George Kelly. These are formed at a fairly early age, even well within our 20s we are still forming our personalities and constructs or ideas of how the world works and what everything means, and thus how we should interact with and/or react to this world we live in, in other words, how to adapt or not to our environment. Then comes our career that can prolong this formative period even more, for instance, celebs of any age are required to have an alter ego for those occasions on which they have to "turn it on" for the camera or the stage → "the stage persona" that is NEVER the same person as the real one behind the wheel of the "functional alter-ego" and this persona has been formed based on their ideal of what has worked best for them in the past, what their PR team or Managers require of them to get them jobs, etc. They may come across as genuine and relatable but celebs are usually always "on" when we see them even off camera, so they are not, not completely. We all have the "office construct", the "school construct", the "mom chat group construct", etc. That is actually a sign of being well-adjusted to fit in society, and that is why we do not act the exact same way in all those different situations even though we are the same person, because we are not the same "persona" and that's OK. It's not a sign of phoniness, or lack of honesty, although it can definitely turn into that and become dysfunctional when there's an underlying mental health disorder, although it doesn't always turn out like that, thank dog!

In Carmy's case in particular, he can handle Logan and turn him on / off at will, which means he's in that aspect still well-adjusted despite his multiple mental health conditions, probably because none of them is a personality disorder, so it's safe to assume that he somewhat knows what's he's doing, he's choosing it to a certain extent and it's not 100% unconscious, only partially.

His lines are becoming blurry because he let Syd in, whether he admits it or not. And deep down, he knows this but he's not fully willing to go there (yet). That's what S4 is for.

This aligns with the rest of his behavior I already went over in previous posts:

Fun Carmy is the one that California, Copenhagen, and Chicago post-Sydney Adamu brought out in him. He's what most people, not me, would call relaxed, chilled, etc.

Relaxed Carmy, at peace Carmy, coloring Carmy, talking about food and cracking lil jokes under a table Carmy, is FUN CARMY.

We know him already. We've seen him. He just turns him off when he's The Bear or Logan.

Remember to follow my tag #Gingerpovs 💋

[lemotmo]

Let's go season 8! She has answered quite a few things today but this one covers the most detail. I'm so excited!!

Q. Buck and Eddie not having a single scene without the other and Tommy not getting any scenes without the presence of Eddie in some form or fashion is a choice.

A. It was a great four core episode. I absolutely understand why Oliver liked the episode so much. Everything about that episode gives me so much hope for this season. The dialogue. The way everything was framed, the camera work, the cinematography was impeccable and I hope that continues as the season goes along. A beenado (I for one will not miss all the bee jokes, lol) was not an easy premise to pull off successfully and they did a wonderful job of making it fun but also work from a story perspective. That wasn't easy to do and the fact that they managed to do it so well gives me so much hope for the rest of the season.

Tommy isn't allowed to have scenes without the presence of Eddie in some capacity because he has no individual purpose outside of Buck and Eddie. He exists solely to move their plot forward. And the episode and interviews that followed proved that entirely. Oliver says that the beginning of the relationship looks like everything is great, which is what we got last night, and hurdles will follow as they get to know each other more. Eddie will absolutely be the hurdle. They framed that explicitly last night. The cinematography was very intentional across the board last night. The framing of Buck, Eddie and Tommy was purposeful and foreshadowing. Eddie has been in the middle of everything Buck and Tommy have done since day one. Eddie is the point. Oliver went on to say that anyone who dates Buck has to understand that he comes with Eddie and Christopher. They're a package deal. And anyone who can't handle or understand that is not going to be able to be in a relationship with him. That was a very telling part of his interview. Oliver had never explicitly stated that before. Then there was Tommy's one line of dialogue. He once again re-sorted solely to Buck's physical appearance. Given that the overall episode highlighted how intelligent and capable Buck genuinely is (and showing Eddie never doubting or questioning Buck) having Tommy focus completely on the physical aspect of him was a deliberate writing choice. We also know that 3 months have passed and the fact that no meaningful conversations have taken place further proves that their relationship is surface level only. Eddie coming between them will force conversations that neither one of them probably really wants to have. And will force Buck to reexamine what his true feelings for Eddie are.

Oliver said episode 5 was a big episode for Buck he also mentioned episode 6, which Tim already confirmed was a big Eddie episode (rip mustache). That sets up a mutual but separate feelings realization for both of them. Oliver said we would see Buck and Eddie deal with things separately but also be there for one another. I love the idea of allowing both of them their individual journey to realization while still trying to be a good friend to the other. I would imagine episode 4 will contain something for Eddie that allows the audience to be aware of his internal struggle. Giving episodes 5 and 6 the room for their individual part leading to their eventual mutual confession (I know we all agree the script 'leaks' were fake but they all still felt very realistic and after last night they feel even more plausible, so I don't know what to make of those anymore). The fact that they seem to be setting this up with so much care and attention to detail gives me so much hope. They seem to understand what story they are telling and what story Buck and Eddie deserve. And more importantly they seem to be taking it seriously. Pushing it into season 8 now makes even more sense. They want to tell the story with the care it and the characters deserve. It's all in front of us. 💗

Thank you so much Nonny!

Ah yes... I agree with most of Ali's thoughts here. I'm not adding anything on to it, since I would just be repeating what she said and she said it so beautifully. 😋

IMPORTANT! Please don't repost this ask and/or a link that leads straight to my Tumblr account on Twitter or any other social media. Thank you!

Heads up! For anyone who is giving me the shifty eyes for reposting Ali's updates instead of reblogging. Read this.

Remember, no hate in comments, reblogs or inboxes. Let's keep it civil and respectful. Thank you.

If you are interested in more of Ali’s posts, you can find all of her posts so far under the tag: anonymous blog I love.

[yiffos-official]

I am willing to give you or anyone else on tumblr the skills and advice the helped me get my dream job

the idea of working for TEK a few months ago would just be a fantasy

my background in education is English. I learned what I know now on my own and only by random chance.

This is why I am so critical of the linux commumity on tumblr.

They're tagging themselves as -official when they can't provide casual end user support.

They're entirely too horny to be in this sphere. Computers and linux should not be about how much you want to fuck/be fucked by X

it will deter end users

This is very cool that you will help other tumblr users with this stuff; i may actually take you up on this at some point :3

(my tone here is /g, /pos, /nm, /lh)

I do, however, kind of disagree with the other points. I think that for any other social media it's correct, twt or fb does not have the culture to make these sorts of parody accounts viable or not-counter-productive to increasing the linux market share. But I don't think that tumblr is the same.

I think that tumblr does. I think the tumblr community has always been this somewhat ephemeral yet perpetual inside joke culture where almost every user is in-the-know, and new users to the joke are able generally able to catch on quickly to it due to their general understanding of they way tumblr communities operate.

IMO, it's a somewhat quick pipeline of:

\> find first "x-official" blog -> assume it's real -> see them horny posting about xenia -> infer that RH corporate would probably not approve of such a blog

I can appreciate that it might be intimidating to seek out help as a new linux user, and especially a new linux & tumblr user, but looking through these blogs, you do see them helping out people ^^. heck, my last post was helping someone getting wayland working on an nvidia system.

The main goal of these blogs is not to be a legitimate CS service to general end-users. they aren't affiliated with the software their blog is named after, so in many cases they *cant*. The goal is instead to foster a community around linux, creating a general network of blogs of the various FOSS projects that they enjoy.

I think that final sentiment, of these blogs detering end users, is most likely counter to their actual effect on end users who are considering switching to linux.

We all know a lot of tumblr is 20 or 30 something year olds who have just stuck around since ~2012ish, and new users to tumblr join with pre-existing knowledge of the culture and platform. Almost anyone coming across these blogs are going to be people who can see the "in" joke, and acclimate. I do highly doubt that a random facebook mom who's son convinced her to install mint on her old laptop would find tumblr, find a -official blog, scroll through said blog, and be detered from using mint.

The other side of this is that any tumblr users who come across these blogs, be it with an inkling of desire to switch to linux or not, will see a vibrant and active community that fits very well into the tumblr community. They remember, or have heard of, the amtrac & OSHA blogs, and are therefore probably aware that this is a pre-existing meme on here.

In all likelyhood, this will probably further incentivize them to make the switch, as they would be more attracted to a community of their peers over a community of redditors telling them to read the arch wiki repeatedly

I can, on the other hand, definitely see that for people who have difficulties with parsing tone, and especially sarcasm, would have trouble with this. TBH, I have these difficulties (hence when I was speaking to you yesterday I used the /unjerk indicator, as I couldn't tell what the tone of the conversation was), and so it took me a little while of being in this weird "I'm 99% sure these *aren't* official, but what if?". I have been there forI think that maybe being more transparent with the fact that the blogs are parodies is probably important. I'm guilty of this, and after i post this, i'll add it to my bio.

[pkmn-monochrome]

This is an OOC ask too to hopefully help the concern? I PROMISE IM NOT A MANIPULATIVE ASSHOLE ABUSER IM A WRITER PLEASE DEAR GOD!!!!!!!! Also! Somebody's gotta play mean here and there, its what keeps gears turning. Not everyone is going to directly side with Cody and understand them. Sometimes you need conflict, it can't be sunshine and roses and everyone Agrees with Cody every time. And hell, without conflict like that, how are we going to get the moments like Cody seeing the auroras? I really loved that moment, it was sweet, sometimes the bad moments can make the good moments all the more fonder. Also I wanted to state... not every interaction that's a fight like that between two people is inherently abusive, people are going to have arguments and harsh words will be thrown along with accusations, especially since both see the other as strangers, some people aren't going to trust Cody and are going to be harsh and rude about it the same way Cody has been. Some are going to mirror how Cody treats them. What I was going for was Directly Vindictive and Harsh, the fact that you are worried about that shows that I did my job right, and as they said, if Sparks couldn't handle I would hope they would just ignore the ask and hell maybe even say to tone it down. TDLR: Not everyone is going to be especially kind and endeared to Cody, some people are going to act out just the same as they do. AND I AM A WRITER NOT AN ABUSER. PLEASE. The point of this ask is uh: I like to think I know my limits, I stick to the rules and only do what is allowed. It doesn't feel too great being compared to an abuser when I am just trying to help move a story forward. I am not abusive for being mean to a fictional character, and I am in no way attempting to be mean to Sparks when I do so. Sorry about the Novel, I just wanted to help clear some things up, because this has happened before with one of my purposefully persecutory asks and hoo boy! it doesn't feel too great that it's happening again. I promise I am not trying to hurt Sparks. I just like conflict in stories and how the characters react to such conflicts. Okay, I'm done, Sorry again about the novel sparks just wanted to explain for the people that got worried about my asks.

[Agreed. Abusive asks are what keep this blog's ball rolling. Without them, we never would have met PIKACHU, BLASTOISE, or even found out about the hacker's death. While CODY's abuse was not necessary in-universe, it was necessary from a narrative standpoint.]

[I do not believe the words or fictional actions of an asker directly reflect them as a person. Even if an asker plays the fictional role of an abuser, like as ANONYMOUS did (e.g. threatening to kill CODY, then getting angry/offended at CODY for taking that death threat seriously), I do not believe that reflects upon their morals in real life scenarios. Threatening to kill a fictional character, in a fictional roleplay scenario, does not mean that asker would ever do or say something like that to a real person. And if this asker was actually holding CODY in their hands in real life, I do not believe they would be saying such intense or harsh things to them.]

[And the inverse is true as well. Just because I am the author of PKMN-MONOCHROME, that does not mean I morally approve of everything CODY says or does. Sometimes, CODY will say harsh and confrontational things out of paranoia or pride, but that does not mean that I as the author would personally lash out at and attack my audience in the same way. If any asker of mine feels personally attacked by the things that CODY says to you, please know and remember that CODY does not speak for me, and their thoughts are not always my own.]

[Please know that I as an author never intend to hurt my audience with CODY's words/actions, and that I trust my audience to do the same for me when sending CODY their questions. Thank you.]

[thezombieprostitute]

So, unsurprisingly, I haven't been able to stop thinking about IT!Ransom since this week's Tech Tuesday. To go no contact with his parents, give up all that money, that would take a lot of strength we don't often attribute to him.

So, what I'm dying to know is, did he have any help or support in that process? Is he or has he been in therapy? Or was there a rare friend that pointed him in that direction?

I genuinely don't know if I'd be able to handle Ransom in therapy. My sad-boy-who's-trying loving heart would explode.

So you know those scenarios where you realize your lived experience either isn't the norm or isn't "the way it has to be"? That's what happened with Ransom. He realized his family's version of "love" and "support" wasn't how it was for a lot of people, and that it wasn't something he had to just accept for himself. He wanted something better and he's smart enough to know he couldn't get it from his current environment and connections.

Ransom knows he needs money and lots of preparations that require money. He can't let his family know what he's doing or it'll be sabotaged before he's even begun. That means he needs cash. Cash can't be traced by his family. He starts small, pawning cuff-links, watches and the like, but it's not getting him enough money.

He looks at his BMW. It's his pride and joy. It enables him small escapes, a token of independence in the form of getting arrive and leave whenever he wants. But it could also be the key to actual escape and independence. He argues with himself about for quite some time but the numbers part of the plan doesn't lie. He needs to sell it.

The cash he receives for it pays for his little apartment. It's at least a year's rent, as well as food and utilities for while he job hunts, learns to cook the basics, and just lays low until his family stops searching for him. Every day he's out, he's scared. He's truly alone and he doesn't know what to do about it other than his usual cold, irritated demeanor.

He knows he probably should go to a therapist, but right now he's just trying to figure out life without his family and their money.

[mintytealfox]

oh yeah something interesting is there is a real invention, which is a canary resuscitation device. Though using a bird to sense dangerous gases is considered by some too cruel, people still wanted to preserve that little bird's life then treat it as disposable... i can imagine norton seeing a bird in one of these coming back from the brink as they evacuate and draw parallels to what he's stuck living also.

OH MY GOSH I DID NOT KNOW THIS OH MY GOSH

"The result was this cage and its captive canary. The circular door would be kept open and had a grill to prevent the canary escaping. Once the canary showed signs of carbon monoxide poisoning the door would be closed and a valve opened, allowing oxygen from the tank on top to be released and revive the canary"

OH MY GGOOOOSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

these poor babies, I sweaaarrrrr but it is amazing to know that they at least tried to keep them safe despite what the bird's job is ;;

Goooosh the vibe I get is that Norton likely checked on the canaries the most ;; I bet he felt a sense of understanding with them especially seeing that crazy contraption they are trapped in oh my gosh

The alarm when he sees the poor thing passed out one day and so he quickly shuts the door and opens the valve so only oxygen is reaching the bird as he runs out of the mine with em ;;

"they kill ya, just to bring you back to kill ya again..."

-----

I can see Norton pretty much having his own canary because he was always the first in the mines and the last to leave and in his own corners alone ;; it getting to the point he can recognize the canary he picks every time he goes down (and since he is always first he can always grab the same canary). Then him becoming close with the canary and taking it home with him (since no one likely waits until Norton finally climbs out of the mines to say 'no you can't take it home with ya') and letting it out so the bird can chill wherever comfortably. But on the day he is gonna blow everything up, I can imagine him letting the bird go, signifying them both getting their freedom. The bird finally able to fly away, then Norton's freedom through ending it all, or so he likely thought. (I can also see him sleeping in on that day so he can see the sun and let the bird go when it is sunny and bright outside) (like it seems the day the explosion happened, was actually at night, way after hours. wonder if it was a day off and they all met up at the golden cave late and not exhausted after a hard day's work. just primed and ready to find this gold 'nerdy norton' has all mapped out)

[rulanarinrush]

ch2 ep 15 spoilers! My general thoughts below the cut. Some opinions are expressed, but I don't believe that my feelings are superior to anyone else's, so please don't take them as fact or offense to them. It is all just fiction after all.

This is probably my favorite (main series) drdt episode, competing only with visiting graves because that episode is so tailor-made to set off my creepy alarm bells. The voice actors all did an amazing job in this episode and really elevated it.

Chekhov's gun did rule that the resistance band had to be used at some point, but I genuinely did not think it would be so soon. This is not a bad thing, just that it's like Min where it was so in your face that I wasn't expecting that to be the actual answer.

Now that the mystery is solved, I don't really have much to speculate, haha. I assumed that Arei's glove could have been used as a gag, and the reason that it's missing is bc it had teeth marks on it, definitely proving that it wasn't a suicide at least, but Charles would yell at me for speculating way too much lol. I do want to know what the scuff mark was for but I suppose that's relatively unimportant. Same for if David actually saw Arei's body first. Personally, I think the reason that he was the first to notice Arei was missing was because he just had a heart to heart with her the night before. Of course he'd feel her absence. Plus she's kinda loud lol...

Strangulation to make her pass out did not occur to me but it probably should have. I just thought that if that was used, there would be very visible marks on her neck, like rope burn or bruises, but I think the broken neck covers all that up huh? haha. I also wonder how Ace cut the rope so perfectly that none of the ends look frayed lol. Please teach me your ways sir.

This whole time I've been operating under the assumption that the killer's logical skills were very strong, but I guess this proves why there were so many weird inconsistencies(imo) with this chapter. I never assumed Ace was dumb(I can't believe this was actually brought up lol) but the fish were always what led me to believe that this incident was spontaneous rather than planned(which was why before the hiatus ended, I believed that Arei and Levi were foils, and to parallel the first canon DR game, it would have been spontaneous, plus the fact that as many people have pointed out, the way Ace knows all the information in the note is kind of strange, but it makes more sense if he only overheard the first part of Eden-Arei-Arturo and just guessed the second half of the note (promised to do anything)). I also just thought it was an attempt to make Arei suffer less because if you just wanted to get out, there are way easier methods of killing her than all this, as Teruko pointed out. Trying to mimic Nico's murder, especially when they didn't give out the details of that murder attempt, is very odd. It means that only a few people could have replicated it, which narrows it down to again, Ace, Teruko, and Eden(and Nico). If he wasn't so impulsive he might've figured that out. Plus, how could he guarantee that Nico wouldn't have an alibi with multiple people at the time of his murder? Evil as this sounds because of the entire message of this episode, all these inconsistencies really make more sense when you realize Ace kind of got lucky with Rose really struggling and David's entire thing, making this harder for everyone. It should have been a much easier case to solve if MonoTV up and said "I immediately closed the room after everyone left" thus making it impossible for anyone to investigate after Eden and Teruko left that night. Since I thought that anyone could've investigated that night, Levi made a lot of sense to me. I also thought that he would be able to make a two story throw. Sorry Levi. I'll fill out that form that keeps going out for Hu and Eden. I will hereby respect Levi Fontana and I will NOT talk down to the Ultimate Personal Stylist. Didn't know you were so cool. I think you are right about having low empathy but you have a bit more compassion than you think you do. Just less of it than people(in the kg besides Vero) want. It seemed to me like you were visibly distressed by Ace's attempt at appealing to your compassion/sympathy versus your logic.

I don't have any negative feelings on how this case was handled. I enjoyed it a lot. Teruko is sort of right and wrong, in that MonoTV's motives were not what was important, but the motive of the murder was pivotal to understanding all the weird inconsistencies in it. Why even have the fish there to begin with when all it does is narrow down the possible killers? Wouldn't the killer want to minimize evidence that could lead to them, especially something as flimsy as this? Now it makes more sense. Ace got his revenge, but on the wrong person. He can't control his life, what he can eat, his body, his friends, the people who he thought he could trust, his emotions, whether he lives or dies, his self-esteem, and in committing a murder he assumes he'd rather take control of his life and end it on his own terms, but he's wrong. All he did was violently take the choice away from another person who has technically never wronged him(being annoying doesn't count). Now he's not even going to die on his own terms. No one will remember him fondly. Also AceNico foils, I figured that Ace was probably Eden's stalker but the fact that they were both planning murders around the same time lmao....

Don't take this the wrong way it's just my opinion, the only thing I kind of side eye is how often J is used to push a moral message. She's good at ending pointless rebuttals before they start and I imagine corruption may be a part of why she's stands so adamantly for her values and gives no room for excuses, but at the same time I... already get it. Like, I understood even before this that murder and murder attempts aren't justifiable, no matter what circumstances were behind it. What greater point are you making to both Nico and Ace? This is a facetious question, I know why, but I don't need to be told it in such a stilted manner. With David, he's set up already as somewhat pretentious so he can get away with dramatically shoving the point of Teruko's character arc in our faces, but with J it feels like wow alright, the girl who has never suffered through poverty(unless she ran away) is telling the characters how unjustifiable some things are no matter what led to it like ok girl. Mariabella gives off the vibes of a narcissistic parent, but Veronika and many other characters tell J that they would kill to be in her position. Choosing J for this is a very interesting choice that will likely be expanded upon later. It doesn't affect my opinion of her character or the writing, it's just something I find fascinating. Not a negative or a positive.

Ace feels like an inevitable tragedy, and I'm glad it was done this way. He points out his foils to Arei very bluntly lol. He has been given so many chances by Levi but pushed them away each time. He's a coward, always targeting the vulnerable(starting with Eden, though this is technically just speculation on Teruko's part). He made them all suffer by drawing out this trial for the sake of his own cowardice too. I'm glad Teruko could truly empathize with him, even for just a moment. It was good to see. As for the inevitable tragedy part, I think Nico's role in this is pretty obvious so I won't reiterate pointless information, but Levi and Hu played their own roles that helped differentiate his relationships with them from Arei and Eden. Levi's patience could really only last so long, and even then, it seems like Levi hasn't had many positive role models in his life, so he didn't understand that what the "right" responses to Ace's anxiety were(like there are any...). As for Hu, she was very kind to Ace in ch1. I imagine it was somewhat of a shock to see her turn heel so quickly in ch2 now that Xander is dead and can no longer defend Nico. I don't mean that the act itself is shocking, but that it proves her to be untrustworthy. If she really had issues with him, she should've spoken up much sooner, bc it's not like Ace wasn't already bullying Nico from the start. This is the difference between niceness and kindness. Hu's actions are a lot more self-serving than Xander's. (At least, in Ace's eyes). So everyone has turned his back on him because he, like Nico and Levi, has trouble conforming. And everyone proved him right in the trial with their low opinion of him. No one had any logical arguments to defend him with in a scrum debate lol. I think it's actually a good thing that there was no scrum debate this chapter, because it usually boils down to statements that can, vastly oversimplified, be written down to statements that have clear negations or opposites. Ace is the killer!(T) or Eden is the killer!(F). Shuuichi is the killer or he isn't the killer! etc etc. That general option was narrowed down already when Teruko narrowed it down to two suspects. If they had a scrum debate about whether Eden or Ace was the killer it would be like ok, alright, but aren't you... already discussing this? You already know those are the two options anyway. Even if it came down to a detail of the crime like could Eden have taken the fish? That is really dragging out the pacing of the trial for a small detail. So I think not having one was a good choice.

I'll put a cap on it here but I enjoyed this episode a lot. I look forward to the finale and execution! :)

[f0point5]

I still think it's very shitty of rbr/vcarb that they let Danny be hounded by all the media and not be able to confirm or deny anything. Especially if he himself actually knew it was gonna be his last race, and had to say he didn't know. It's just all around a shit show.

And then hiding behind the "he didn't perform" excuse when vcarb routinely fucked up his strategies week in and week out. And when they let Checo lose the constructor's for them with poor performance. I understand the money aspect but does he bring more to the table that it's worth it for them to be second or even third in the standings? But I digress.

Daniel helped develop the car (according to the team) more in a year than Yuki did in his 3? And he's right behind him in the standings. So he was an essential help in getting the team forward.

Yeah I might be biased as a fan of his, but you can't objectively say he's washed and shit when the team compromises his races with shit strategy (which is kinda swept under the rug because we rarely get coverage of Backmarkers so it's hard to follow during the race itself). Even Max can't do wonders with stupid strategy and a shit car combined. If he really was washed how come that up until his promotion to vcarb he outperformed Checo in tests and sims?

I know this is a business at the end of the day but it still doesn't make sense, and I just don't see Liam outperforming him in six races. And as much as I liked Liam last season, his entry is tainted to me the same way Oscar's first win was by the circumstances

(sorry for the long ask, I just needed to vent. All the comments I see are how it was time for Daniel to leave but no one bothers to take into account how the team failed him)

RB not announcing it or letting Daniel tell the media was fucked up. Especially when the head of VISA didn’t even know what was happening and it seemed like neither did Mekies. Whatever went on there, he shouldn’t have had to walk into the media pen not able to answer questions.

I don’t buy this “he didn’t perform” narrative. He drove the shitbox they gave him to the level it is clearly at. What could they possibly have been expecting him to pull out of that car? When frankly he’s used to driving better and had close to a year off between the hand break and everything. They 100% wanted him in that Red Bull at some point.

The keeping Checo is about more than money for Red Bull, it’s about money for the sport. I do believe the rumour that Liberty stepped in when checo was going to lose his seat because he’s the only driver in the grid from latam, my guy is carrying that whole market and that whole Mexico GP on his back. Not to mention apparently Carlos Slim is an investor in Liberty Media. It seems like Formula 1 wants to keep Checo around more than Red Bull, but he’s probably keeping RB in the black as well.

Liam won’t outperform Daniel in 6 races, but Liam has maybe a decade left of career, Daniel doesn’t.

And honestly, I don’t think Daniel wanted to sit around in TR. he was there to get back to RB, when it was clear that wasn’t going to happen, he probably would have walked at the end of the season or the next one.

I think RB did him dirty not allowing him to leave with the proper timing but I also think timing or not timing, his time was up there because of him as much as them.

But helmut hanging him out to dry about performance is so funny when the job he was auditioning for was to literally keep the car out of the wall while Max wins. Because that’s all Checo has been doing…sometimes. And I don’t believe that they didn’t think Daniel could do a better job. I know helmut isn’t keen on Daniel but I do think this is revisionist bullshit from him. He likes to make it seem like RB is still the cutthroat outfit from 2019 when in reality they’ve built their team identity around Max and beyond that everything else has gone to shit.

They binned Daniel because they have tied themselves in knots with their driver management. That’s what I think.

And yes the performance had a part to play but I don’t think it’s even top 3 in the reasons this all happened

[judyprincess]

Too Pink for me- Logan Howlett +18

04: Adam's Apple

"No."

The garden area, where the teachers usually had breakfast, was filled with Logan's bad mood from the early morning, marked by his firm refusal.

"Logan, I haven't finished," Charles said calmly, setting his coffee cup down on the table.

Everyone was watching the scene, but Ororo didn't seem surprised—she had already predicted this would happen.

"Guess what, I don't care."

Logan replied before taking a sip of his black coffee, fully intending to escape Charles' explanations. Knowing what was coming, Charles had no choice but to use his powers, stopping Logan from walking away, which made a low, almost animalistic growl escape from his throat as he turned back to them, frustrated.

"Is this some kind of joke or punishment? Did I do something wrong as a substitute that I don't know about?"

Logan finally spoke, his rough voice like sandpaper, clearly expressing his displeasure.

"Logan, I still don't understand why spending time with Rosellina is a punishment." Charles didn't react to his bad attitude and took another sip of coffee. "The girl is delightful."

"I don't like her. Can that be respected?"

"Do you have a valid argument I might accept?"

Charles leaned forward, resting his chin on his interlaced hands, waiting expectantly. Logan thought for a moment, but no words came out.

"Then, no, I can't respect it. It's just nonsense."

Logan took a deep breath, trying to keep the animal inside him from breaking free.

"This is Scott's job. I don't get why I'm the one doing this."

Ororo glanced at Charles when Logan justified himself to avoid the task, her expression clearly saying, I told you so.

"Logan's right," Scott said after a moment, surprising everyone.

Hank nearly choked on his coffee, having to grab a nearby napkin to wipe himself off as he coughed. The world must have been ending—Logan even raised an eyebrow at Scott.

"Well, that's new," Ororo muttered under her breath, watching the situation unfold.

"Professor, I don't usually agree with Logan."

"Usually?" Logan asked, accusingly.

"Never," Scott corrected. "What I mean is, Rosellina is a new student. I don't think her first day at the school should involve enduring Logan's bad mood. She needs a good experience."

Logan mentally thanked Scott for the intervention, though Scott never missed an opportunity to criticize him.

Charles sighed in his seat, remaining calm and unfazed by Logan's attempts to escape. He waved a hand toward Scott, signaling that his intervention wasn't necessary, before addressing Logan.

"Logan, you have two options," he finally said, unwilling to prolong the situation further. He could already sense Rosellina's thoughts approaching—no, in fact, he could feel her emerald eyes watching them.

"You help Rosellina with her tour of the facilities and try to swallow your bad mood a bit."

Before Charles could continue, Logan cut him off with a challenging tone.

"Or what?"

"Or you'll start teaching history classes first thing Monday morning as an official professor," Charles dropped the ultimatum, taking a sip of his coffee without even looking at him. He didn't need to look to imagine Logan's expression.

"Your choice," Charles concluded, leaving a silence as Hank struggled to hold back a laugh.

"This is the library," Logan grumbled, just like every time he pointed out a new room to Rosellina.

After that trap Charles had set for him, Logan had no choice but to reluctantly accept. As soon as he left the garden, Rosellina was already waiting for him. They began on the ground floor, and after a few rooms, they found themselves in the library where several students were studying.

Logan leaned against one of the bookshelves, arms crossed, as he watched her wander around the room with curious eyes. He couldn't help but let his gaze slide over her, observing how she moved so delicately, like a graceful heron. Her clothes were simple, yet somehow, she made them look elegant and magical—a pink skirt and a white blouse with puffed sleeves. Half of her hair was tied up while the rest cascaded down her back like a waterfall, reaching places he knew he shouldn't be staring at. Logan mentally scolded himself, shaking his head firmly as he tried to focus on the windows.

That's exactly what he hated about this girl—the way she made everyone fall under her charm without even trying. Even he, despite his enduring love for Jean, couldn't stop himself from looking at her. It made him feel like a disgusting pervert.

Logan let out a low growl, tightening his grip on his arms, leaving faint marks from the pressure, though they quickly disappeared. He could hear the murmurs of the students watching her as he tried to keep his mind steady.

"She's beautiful," a rough whisper from one male student made Logan turn his head.

With indifferent eyes, Logan observed the admiration that built up around Rosellina with every step she took. The students watched her with eyes full of infatuation. She hadn't even said a word, but they were all staring at her, though they kept their distance, as if feeling unworthy of approaching her. Logan raised an eyebrow at their behavior. It was like she was a painting they admired from afar, afraid to touch for fear of breaking it. Like she was somehow "forbidden."

He chuckled under his breath, but it wasn't because he found it funny. Not at all—it irritated him. The reverence for someone just because they were pretty, someone who barely said more than two words.

"Uh, good morning," Rosellina finally spoke after hearing the whispers, attempting to greet them.

Logan was surprised by the gesture, but what shocked him even more was the students' response. Shy and embarrassed, they turned away, and only a few managed to give her a small nod in return.

Logan huffed at their ridiculous and timid behavior. Impatient, he pushed off the bookshelf and grabbed Rosellina's wrist.

"She's just a girl," he growled. "Stop drooling and at least return her greeting, you rude brats."

Rosellina was caught off guard, not only by Logan's sudden intervention that caused the students to mutter their apologies under their breath, but by his grip on her wrist—so rough, so abrupt, and of course, without any permission. She hadn't even realized when her legs instinctively quickened, trying to match Logan's long strides as he moved swiftly down the hallway, his towering height forcing her to keep pace.

"L-Logan..." she murmured softly, trying to keep up as they climbed the stairs. "It hurts..." she whispered, wincing as he dragged her down the hallway.

"I really hate you," he spat.

Those words left Rosellina stunned. She could only remain silent, frozen by the sharpness of them. Logan was a man giving her firsts in ways she couldn't understand. No one had ever spoken to her like that before. Why was this man, who barely knew her, so determined to bury her beneath his hatred, to push her away from him?

"The way you draw attention, the way you make people stupid, unable to speak, and yet you don't even say anything back," he continued, releasing her wrist abruptly, letting it drop as she came to a halt.

He turned to face her, his breathing heavy, revealing the erratic pace of his heart driven by the rush of adrenaline.

"I hate it so much."

Rosellina looked at him, feeling a sudden ache in her chest. What was that feeling? Why did it hurt? She wasn't sick, so why did her heart feel this way? In a desperate attempt to ignore that unknown pain, she offered him an embarrassed smile. Even though she wasn't to blame, she was ready to apologize.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, looking at him. "I didn't mean to be such a bother to you today."

Logan blinked, taken aback by her response. It only made his irritation grow. Why was she acting like she was the one at fault? Why so much submission? It was driving him crazy. He hated that unbearably helpless attitude.

"Forget it," he muttered under his breath.

The sharp words, like a blade ready to cut deep, were held back. He was restraining himself, knowing deep down that this girl wasn't truly at fault. Or at least his mind tormented him with the thought of Charles scolding him if she ran off in tears because of his rough demeanor.

"Walk," he grumbled as he began to move, shoving his hands into his pockets. The quicker they got this over with, the better for both of them.

The tour of the facilities continued until they reached the second floor, above the dormitories where more secluded rooms were located. Rosellina remained silent, avoiding greetings but offering a shy smile as the older students occasionally glanced at her. Soon, the hallways were empty, and she couldn't help but fidget with her hands.

"What's your mutation?" she dared to ask after what felt like an eternal silence under the weight of the tension.

Logan didn't respond at first, unwilling to engage in more conversation than necessary, but it seemed Rosellina was determined to go against his plans.

"Healing."

He answered curtly, but he could feel her gaze behind him, quietly asking for more information.

"I've got enhanced senses. I'm like an animal, but with extraordinary regenerative abilities," he explained after a few moments of hesitation.

Rosellina nodded, trying to piece it together. Someone who could heal as quickly as he was injured? That explained why Logan, despite his age, looked so young. His mutation slowed his aging. She observed him subtly, careful not to seem intrusive, until her eyes landed on his chest. A dog tag rested against his shirt, and she could clearly read the name on it.

Wolverine.

She remembered Rogue mentioning that most had nicknames, and she quickly deduced that this was Logan's. It suited him, considering what he had told her about his mutation. Yet, despite everything, Logan didn't generate any ill feelings within her. It was his behavior that caused those tiny stings of pain in her chest.

"Were you in the army?"

Rosellina asked after a while, nervous that she might anger him again. Logan let out a heavy breath in response before turning slightly to look at her.

"You're out of questions."

That was all he said, but his response only confirmed for Rosellina that it was a sensitive subject for him. His expression had darkened when she mentioned it. She followed him closely as he pointed out more rooms, moving at a faster pace, his desire to end the tour evident.

"The professor mentioned an attic," she whispered softly, debating whether she should've said anything at all.

She could've let him go and asked Rogue to take her there instead. She watched Logan stop, fully expecting him to sigh in frustration.

"I... we can finish here—"

"Follow me, it's up the right staircase."

Logan interrupted her, veering off and walking with long strides, though his pace had softened so she could keep up. They ascended toward one of the mansion's towers. When they arrived, Logan turned on the lights, the smell of wood immediately filling the space, mingling with the natural floral scent of Rosellina as she stepped inside, awestruck by the attic's size. Logan lingered in the doorway, watching as the light from the balcony helped him see her move around, as if she were already placing things in their designated spots in her mind.

"Why did the professor give you the attic?"

Logan asked, curiosity gnawing at him. Rosellina, stepping away from the table she had been examining, turned to face him.

"He said I could paint here if I needed space, so I wouldn't bother anyone."

She answered, as kind as always.

"Paint?" Logan raised an eyebrow, not expecting that response.

"Yes, I'm an artist."

Logan could sense the hint of pride in her words when she spoke about her craft.

"Well, I guess that's something you can afford to do when your father's one of the Pentagon's big shots," Logan scoffed, the glint of disdain sharp in his eyes.

Rosellina lightly grazed her fingers across the wooden table before pulling her hand back, a small smile on her face.

"I suppose," she murmured after a moment.

Why did it feel like Logan kept testing the limits of her patience? Was she always going to let people treat her like this without pushing back?

"I really do love painting. It's a way to express myself."

Her words pulled him from his thoughts, as she stared down at the floor.

"Everyone expresses themselves somehow, but for me... well, sometimes it's hard to say what I feel." She confessed, her face turning toward the warm light spilling in from the balcony. "It's so easy to swim and just as easy to drown at the same time. But a lifeline can always be there, something to hold on to and escape from the obvious, if only for a moment."

Logan listened closely. Her words flowed like prose, a melody written in frustration and emotion on the oldest pages of Europe, hinting at something deeper. He wasn't sure if it was just her artistic nature making such elaborate comparisons to things that could've been explained in simpler terms, but something about it held him captive.

"Escaping death is easier than escaping feelings, always finding a way to hide them in plain sight, beyond the understanding of those who can't see past their own pain." Rosellina recited, as if recalling a forgotten tale lost in an untold book.

Logan found himself submerged, drawn into that stormy sea of words that seemed to lead nowhere—yet they consumed him. Because, in his mind, there was an understanding, a connection to what she was saying, even if he didn't fully grasp it himself.

"Maybe... painting is my lifeline." Rosellina turned to meet his gaze with a gentle smile. "But mostly, I love doing it because it makes people happy when I do."

She added, as if trying to steer the conversation away from the previous reflections. Logan looked into her eyes, those emerald gems piercing deeper into him, searching for something beyond what he projected. They were mesmerizing, undeniably beautiful. A truth he couldn't deny.

There was a silence between them as Logan observed her; a storm always seemed to brew whenever Rosellina was around. After what felt like an eternity, Logan finally peeled himself away from the doorway.

"I'm sure you've got other things to do, just like me," he said, turning to head down the stairs. In his language, that meant: time to get out.

Rosellina hurried to follow him, casting one last glance at the space. For some reason, Logan didn't seem as resentful as he had been yesterday or even this morning—that was a small victory for her. They descended the stairs together, arriving at the ground floor where most of the people were gathered. Jean crossed their path before Rosellina could greet her, but Logan beat her to it.

"Hey, Jean," he greeted her with a small smile.

Jean quickly returned the smile and greeting. Rosellina stood there, watching the interaction, noticing Logan's smile and his attitude towards Jean. Was he only resentful towards her? No, surely not. Rosellina mentally shook the thought away.

"Hi, Logan, and you too, Rosellina. I see you've finished the tour," Jean observed after saying hello.

Rosellina greeted her and nodded in agreement.

"Well, you sure took your time. It's already lunchtime."

"Yeah, well, the place isn't exactly small," Logan replied with a short laugh.

Rosellina could feel herself fading into the background of the conversation. Even though they were talking about both of them, the conversation started to feel more like it was just between Logan and Jean. Her emerald eyes watched their expressions, noticing the faint air of flirtation between them.

A flush rose to Rosellina's cheeks. They were probably a couple or at least interested in each other, and here she was, stuck in the middle, feeling like a third wheel illuminating a pair of lovers.

"I've got things to take care of, ciao," Rosellina mumbled softly, excusing herself so as not to interrupt any further.

As she walked away, she glanced back over her shoulder and saw them speaking comfortably, catching sight of Logan's expression as he looked at Jean, noticing the small touches she made on his arm. She quickly turned back.

Intrusive. You're being rude, Rosellina.

She scolded herself mentally, determined not to look again. All she could think now was that Logan probably had a girlfriend, which didn't make him a bad guy, right? Rogue had been right, after all. Not that she had ever thought he was a bad guy anyway.

Logan was so absorbed in his conversation with Jean that he suddenly realized he no longer caught the scent of Rosellina's perfume. He turned around to see that she was gone. When had she left? Jean had distracted him that much.

"Logan?" Jean called, pulling him out of his thoughts.

"Sorry, didn't notice the little annoying rose had left," he muttered, refocusing on Jean.

"You don't like her, huh?" Jean asked as they walked down the hallway and out of the mansion, heading toward the front gardens.

"No," he answered firmly.

After a while, Logan's curiosity got the better of him, and he continued, "Beyond her striking looks, I don't even know what her mutation is."

"Well, you didn't ask her, did you? I'm sure she would've told you. She's not shy about showing it."

Jean teased him, practically telling him it was his fault for not asking her directly. Logan cursed under his breath, glancing at Jean while listening to her. Standing around like an idiot and just listening wasn't exactly his idea of fun.

"I'm asking you so you can tell me, Jean."

Jean raised an eyebrow before giving a sly smile.

"It's in her eyes."

Logan stopped in his tracks, recalling how he had been captivated by her eyes just a moment ago. He remembered thinking they were the most intense emerald green he'd ever seen in his life—like two precious gems. But he hadn't thought much further than that. Beyond her striking pink hair, those eyes were the real pressure that could crush you like the deep ocean's abyss.

"Her eyes? What are they supposed to do?"

"Illusions, she can make your mind see things completely out of reality."

Logan thought that maybe people fell under her spell because of her charm, but that wasn't the case. Her mutation went beyond his understanding. Jean took her time explaining what the professor had told her, along with his hypotheses after conducting an initial test with Rosellina. The Canadian listened closely as Jean talked about the classes Charles would have with Rosellina and how she had agreed to become an arts teacher.

"Art teacher..." he muttered to himself with a faint, mocking smile.

It suits her.

Logan thought to himself. Just then, he felt Jean's hands softly brushing against his, her fingertips tracing the calluses on his palms. That small electric charge traveled up Logan's spine, quickening his heartbeat. He turned to look at her.

"I thought you'd be falling for her by now; she's a very beautiful woman." Jean's words felt strange to him. He could sense a mix of teasing and satisfaction in them.

"I only have eyes for one person, if that's what you're worried about." His voice was lower, more intimate and rough. His hands slipped under her jacket, gently grazing her waist, savoring the feel through her clothes.

Once again, he was falling into something he shouldn't. Into the endless flirtation with Jean that always led nowhere, leaving him with scraps of affection that would never turn into anything more.

"She's not even my type," he clarified.

"She's sweet, pretty," Jean offered, "smart, kind."

"I prefer the strong, independent ones." He shook his head at her attempt, his face leaning closer to hers. "What do I have to do to make you understand that I'm only dying for you?" He confessed, now dangerously close.

Jean placed her hands on Logan's chest, creating some space between them, a small barrier, as she felt her breath catch. Logan's masculinity and boldness always made her tremble—a forbidden man who would only bring her trouble.

"Girls only flirt with the bad boy, Logan..." she whispered softly, looking at him with doe-like eyes. "But they marry the good guy."

Jean crossed that dangerous line, her lips almost brushing against his. Jean could hear the low growl in his throat, feel his hot breath on her face.

"I could be the good guy..." he murmured against her lips, barely grazing them.

He was putting all of his effort into not doing something reckless in the school's gardens, where anyone could see them. It was all forbidden and filled with consequences, a mix that made him both sick and excited at the same time. That little fantasy evaporated when Jean, just inches from sharing a kiss with him, pulled away. Once again, the same thing happened. So close, yet so far.

"Scott's waiting for me," she said as her final words, removing her hands from his chest and breaking all contact as his own hand slipped from her waist. She turned to leave, leaving him standing there. Logan didn't dare say anything, letting her walk away. All he could feel was a toxic storm brewing inside, consuming him—pain, pain and resignation. Settling for the bare minimum, knowing it would never go further, and that he would always be the loser, never the first choice for the red-haired woman he desired so much. Could his healing ability save him from that pain he masochistically confused with pleasure? No. He wouldn't feel so lost and broken, knowing he would never be her choice.

"Damn it."

________________________________________

Why does the forbidden always have to be so tempting?

The human desire to always want what we can't have, that greed that makes us brush against sins we will later pay for dearly.

There is no sin without consequences.

________________________________________

Hello, my dear readers! I'm leaving a little note here for you. I know you're a fan of Marvel, so if you're interested, I've recently published another book, though this one focuses more on the Avengers. In this fanfic, the Avengers' story is rebooted from the first movie, and a new female original character will change the course of the movie timeline in this alternate reality. You can find it on my profile, or search for it by title: Immortal Flames.

If you're also into Japanese mythology, this fanfic will be for you! (Of course, it will be explicit and feature romance between the original character and another Avenger, along with secondary pairings among other Avengers).

I hope you're enjoying Rosellina's story. ✨️

Kisses, 

Judy. 💖

[eddis-not-eeddis]

I need some prayers. My health is really bad right now, and i might lose my job.

[defiledtomb]

you know when you're going through a high stress situation that is prolonged and agonizing but you've put on a brave face and you think you've got this! 💪 and then a week into it you accidentally burn your quinoa and there's smoke and all of a sudden your skin is sloughing off and you feel like alice about to be swept away in a tide of her own tears? mmnnmm yeag.

[burningfaith]

next month me and my grandma are going to visit my godfather who lives in Spain, but instead of being excited (it's gonna be my second time abroad in my life) I'm anxious af, because even though I'm an adult I live with my parents and I need to tell my father about it. normal parents would - y'know - be happy that their children have opportunity to visit another country, but instead he's gonna be insufferable about it, because it's my mom's side of family and he despises my uncle. but what is he gonna do? kick me out of the house even though he promised that as long as I'm studying or working I don't need to worry about such thing, humiliate me as usual, tell me that I'm childish and spoiled or make my mom's life a living hell again? I'm aware of the fact that the longer I'm putting it off the worse his reaction is gonna be, but I'm just not mentally able to tell him that, because I don't know how he will react. I don't need any money from him, I don't have to use my phone during this trip (I dunno how the roaming and stuff work), I just want to be sure he's gonna behave like a proper human being towards my mom and my siblings when I won't be at home and not act like a total asshole while talking with me about it.

[deanpinterester]

reading books translated to chinese got me like PLEASE let me be your proofreader PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE