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Dreaming of a White Christmas

Happy Holidays my friends.

Sam stares at her sister, unnoticed. She’s too busy watching the movie, transfixed by the unfamiliar scenes. The screen buzzes with joy and cheer and laughter, with the kind of life so far away that they couldn’t reach it even in a dream.

Tara’s enamoured with the picture of All-American normalcy, the likes they’ve never known.

It’s adorable.

She loves when Tara gets like this.

Absorbed.

She wishes she could do the same. Forget it all, let reality fade away until it’s only the four walls of this cabin, the hum of the generator and the swish of the wind through the trees, the tv and her sister. She wishes she could give her that normal life, that they could be like the family on the tv.

She wants that more than anything.

But she can’t.

Instead, it’s guilt that fills her ears instead.

“Do you regret it?”

An inside thought spoken aloud. She hadn’t meant to, and yet the quiet questioning hum Tara lets out in response just isn’t enough.

Sam twitches her elbow, nudging it into her sister’s arm.

“Do you regret it?” she repeats, quieter and steadier this time.

She needed to ask this, needed to know.

Tara turns to look at her with a confused frown.

“Regret what? The movie? I mean, if I knew you were gonna go get a bunch of Christmas movies older than me, I woulda made sure you got Die Hard, but this one isn’t so bad.”

In an instant, Sam feels irritated. She knows, she knows Tara’s smarter than this. Her teasing tone betrays the motivations behind her words, yet Sam falls for it, hook line and sinker, just like she always does.

“Die Hard isn’t a Christmas movie,” she mutters, looking away and trying to quell the twisting sensation that rises in her stomach.

From the corner of her eye, she can see the way Tara sits back with a smirk, knowing eyes observing her every movement, every aspect of her reaction.

“It’s set at Christmas, ergo, it’s a Christmas movie.”

Her insufferable, wonderful, little sister who knows exactly how to rile her up, exactly what to say.

“It’s nothing more than decoration, if it’s not a core part of the story then—”

Sam takes a deep breath and makes eye contact once again.

“No, you’re not distracting me. Answer my question!”

There’s silence for a moment that feels like an eternity, it drags on for just long enough that Sam fears the answer might actually be yes, when her sister’s face softens. Knowing grin slipping into something painfully loving.

“How could I ever regret being here with you? I want to be here, Sam, so I am.”

“But–”

“No buts. You don’t get to decide how I feel.”

Tara’s decisive words are heavy, leaving Sam’s tongue pinned in her mouth.

She has so much more to say, to argue – there’s a desperate need within her to convince Tara that she’s wrong, and for a moment Sam straightens up and takes a deep breath… For it to only deflate under her sister’s sharp gaze.

The one that says don’t push it.

She’s become so very familiar with that expression over the past year, as they learned to navigate new boundaries and figured out how to communicate, together. Just like they promised each other all those months ago, bleeding and exhausted, perched on the edge of a stage.

Tara upheld her end of the bargain, she got help, she stopped running.

It’s times like these that it’s Sam’s turn to do the same, to let Tara be her own person.

So, she breathes out, and melts back into the couch instead.

“Okay,” she says quietly.

Sam’s gaze flicks back to the screen, lip caught between her teeth as more words beg to tumble from her. She’s almost swallowed them down when there’s a hesitant touch of fingers upon her own.

Tara’s super power has always been making Sam crumble.

“I’m so glad you are. Here, I mean. I– I’m really happy you’re here.”

She stutters through it, unable to turn her head until the featherlight touch of fingertips morphs into a sturdy grip, fingers threading through fingers.

“Where else would I be? It’s where I belong, by your side.”

Sam doesn’t know what she did to deserve a sister like Tara. Anybody else, anyone else… they’d have disappeared long ago. Let alone after several murder attempts and the graveyard of bodies behind them.

“Besides, you’re kind of a disaster without me. I mean look at your choices!”

The Old Sam would have withdrawn at the words. Would have felt attacked, would have bared her teeth and growled back. Would have run away.

But she’s the New Sam here. With the New Tara. Two people who’ve gone through hell and come out of it stronger and still alive. Together. And New Sam knows New Tara isn’t attacking her, she’s teasing, like little sister’s do.

“You seriously didn’t get Die Hard?”

For the first time in days, Sam laughs.

A pout is thrown her way as Tara crawls forward, movie entirely forgotten. Sam is her beacon of focus now, and she can’t bring herself to do anything but bask in it. She pulls her in, wraps her arms around her until they’re one.

“They didn’t have Die Hard, sorry. I know you love that movie.”

Sam can’t see the look on Tara’s face, with her cradled back to chest, but she can hear it at her next words.

“It’s not the movie I love, it’s the way you hate it. It’s cute, I love when you get riled up like that.”

Sam groans.

Tara twists in her arms to plant a kiss on her cheek. She can feel the way she’s smiling against her skin.

“Happy Christmas, Sam.”

“Happy Christmas, Tara.”

And for once, she means it.

Happy.

[atcarpenter]

hey, I was just at "things got better" island and everyone there is talking about how excited they are to meet you

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Scream (2022) Melissa Barrera | dir. Matt Bettinelli-Olpin & Tyler Gillett

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who wins plushies for the other? it's gotta be JINX

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Sequences from my finished animation. Inspired by a dog named Teacake.

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#25 on Spotify wrapped says how 2025 is going to go. how's it going for you?

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♡ MIKEY MADISON dazed

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creature

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Scream (2022) Melissa & Mikey | dir. Matt Bettinelli-Olpin & Tyler Gillett

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SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS 2x08 - "CHRISTMAS WHO?" (2000) Dir. Walt Dohrn

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(repeated like a mantra while rubbing my temples) i will stay silly and not allow the world to make me bitter and cruel. i will stay silly and not allow the world to make me bitter and cruel. i wi

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"10 people I'd like to get to know better" Tag Game

thanks for the tag 😌 @blackwolfstabs

last song - Time - Harry Pane, Maia Frankowski

favorite colour - blue

last book - Lays of Marie de France (mostly just The Lay of the Were-Wolf lol figures)

last TV show - Doctor Who

sweet | spicy | savoury - savoury

relationship status - 😌

last thing I googled - addiction

current hyperfixations - Scream 5, my OCs that I play with like dolls, talking to friends

looking forward to - getting proper sleep again

Tagging - mutuals, if you like, feel spoken to

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ARCANE LEAGUE OF LEGENDS: 2x09 - “The Dirt Under Your Nails.”