#Bruce loves coffee
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frownyalfred · 2 years ago
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for real though, I like to headcanon that Jason swings by the Cave occasionally with the newest, grossest energy drink he can find to try and get Bruce to drink anything other than coffee.
Bruce holds a bubble gum energy drink up to the light, squints at it, and says, with explicit disapproval, “This is going to give you liver failure eventually.” Jason is like “Right, but it makes you go FAST, Bruce.”
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anonymous-existences · 4 months ago
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DCXDP PROMPT 6 :
And once again, I exist
Wes/Damian + Demon Sibs AU
HC involved : Gothamite Rich Mother of Wes and the person where he got his Cassandra's Curse from, Danny Knows about his past and Damian knows Danny is alive just doesn't know where.
;
The Fentons upon finding out about Phantom's Identity as their Son Danny, they don't have the heart to harm Danny but they don't have the logic to accept him as a Halfa, so they decided to kick him out, Danny and Jazz gets into a fight because Jazz believes She can convince the Fenton's but Danny doesn't.
The School finds out about Danny being Phantom and Wes gets paid for the bets they owe him. But Upon Wes hearing Danny got kicked out, decided to take him in and as it turns out Wes's Mom is rich.
Danny lives Peacefully in the Weston Residence(decently big house) until Wes Gets a message from Tucker about the GIW getting a hold of Danny as Phantom's information probably by the Fenton's.
Wes knows it's only a matter of time before the GIW busts down their door so, he calls up his mom.
They escape to Gotham as that's the safest place and also the only place Wes is familiar with and because his mom is there and she's rich enough, she enrolls them to the same school where Damian is and ofcourse. Demon Sibs reunite, Wes and Damian meet.
The part I like the most :
Damian Believes Everything Wes says and is truly unaffected by the Cassandra's Curse especially after being asked by Wes if he's Robin on the first Day Danny introduces them to each other. Damian is intrigued that no one finds this *Obviously Handsome, Intellectual, Logical Boy* ~~that he's Inlove with~~ at all!
Danny also bypasses Cassandra's Curse, You all get the gyst <33
TLDR: Damian is smitten with a conspiracy theorist that's always 90% right and Always Sassy whilst having been reunited with the twin He knows was alive but doesn't know where that is Danyal
Extra : Wes totally figured out every hidden heroes identities but kept his mouth shut and if this is Tim/Bernard then Damian is in the "I have a better boyfriend than you Drake." Because both are gingers(?), Conspiracy Theorists but only one figured out everyone's identities on the spot.
Extra 2: GIW Shenanigans is decided by anyone and you all can take this free and change the prompt anytime or just inspire from it.
Thank you for listening to my crack.
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the-coffeeaddict-tim-drake · 11 months ago
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Tim Drake Fics On A03
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These are my list of Tim Drake fics on A03. It has everything. Angst, fluff, funny sibling relationship, family fluff, The core four etc... There are few TimKon fics thrown here and there too. Have fun.
Tim Drake (Doesn't) Drink Coffee by BabblingBookends
Every year, Tim goes on a caffeine detox for a month and has to deal with the resulting withdrawal symptoms. He doesn't tell the rest of the Bats about this, because, uh, reasons!
Bang, bang by Ididloveyou_once
‘You shot me!’ Jason gasped, stunned, ‘Holy shit, you actually shot me.’
Tim’s eyes widened and he froze. They stared at each other for a second, dumbstruck and then-
‘Don’t tell Bruce.’
Or: The family enjoy a normal movie night. Except Jason has a gunshot wound and Tim’s the only one who knows and oh- that’s because Tim’s the one who shot him and they really, really need to find a way to leave before anyone finds out.
Play it Again by Jazz020
The manor feels too quiet without music. Tim and Damian bond over music.
Send to All by kerosceene
I, ___________________________, hereby acknowledge that this form represents my wishes should I contract phytoaphrodisiac-induced delirium (hereafter referred to as “PAID”) during engagements with or while apprehending Dr. Pamela Lillian Isley (“Poison Ivy”).
-
The bats have a sex pollen release form. Because of course they do.
This is on of the most funniest batfam fic I have ever read.
four brothers, one crush, and absolutely zero brain cells to be found by Ms_Trickster
Tim: i need to know what’s the best way to a boy’s heart 
Damian: Easy. The best way to someone’s heart is through their ribcage. Everyone knows that. 
Damian: Come on Timothy, I expected better from you. 
Dick: I-
Dick: Try again
-
Tim is having boy troubles.
Tim goes to his brothers for help.
Tim...did not think that plan of action through.
(In which the batbros give Tim advice on relationships, told entirely through texts.)
Their sibiling relationship is too damn funny.
Home by sElkieNight60 
“Why didn't you call home?” the Red Hood is scolding him, bizarrely making his head spin with how unreal everything suddenly seems. “Why didn't you call Dad? You've been missing for three days and he is losing his mind―he thinks you've been kidnapped again―everyone has been pulling double runs all over the city trying to find you! You fucking disappeared! Seriously, Baby Bird, give us one good reason why we shouldn't drag your ass back home right now and have Dad bench you until the end of all days!?”
The two vigilantes are staring at him equal parts furious and equal parts relieved, but there must be some kind of mistake, because:
“Who is Tim?”
Only A03 users can read this fic.
Cork Board Contingencies by PrinceJakeFireCake
If you don’t use a cork board to obsessively plan contingencies for every possible way a date with your best friend can go, how can you go on a date at all?
Excerpt: “Are you free next Saturday?” Tim asked, pretty sure that Kon’s jumble of words was agreement that he wanted to date Tim.
“Maybe!” Kon exclaimed.
“Cool,” Tim commented, taking another sip of his drugged grape soda (“Dammit, Tim,” he mentally told himself. “Do not give in! Buy new grape soda! Stop drinking the drugged grape soda! I’ve shotgunned another can of drugged grape soda, haven’t I? Dammit, that makes five!”) then saying, “That gives me just enough time to pass out for fifty-two hours and plan our first date.”
Bloodlines by chibi_nightowl for exiled-one (mistralle)
“Mr. Drake, I can’t think of a better way to say this, so I’ll just be blunt. This file is for your first adoption. By the Drakes.” 
Tim blinked. “My what?” 
“You were adopted as a newborn by Jack and Janet Drake.” 
“Excuse me, but what the fuck are you talking about?”
No words. This fic is just mind blowing.
fill in the blanks by mindshelter
“You?” Tim blurts. Holy shit. “You’re Kon?”
A nod. “Are you in any pain?” he asks again.
Kon’s skin is sun-kissed, cheekbones dusted with a fine smattering of freckles; he is, without exaggeration, the prettiest person Tim has ever seen. “No, I’m—great,” he says, fidgeting. “Do you, uh, come here often?”
Kon raises a brow. “To the medbay?” he intones. “Definitely more often than I’d prefer.”
Road Rage Robin by heartslogos 
"I'd be doing humanity a favor." Tim grinds out, "And I would get away with it. I could totally get away with it. I've done worse."
Only A03 users can read this fic
Liberal Usage of the Bro-Code by heartslogos for protagonistically (the_protagonist)
“You’re never going to guess who’s blood is on my shirt – similarly, this is not my shirt but these are my pants.”
Only A03 users can read this fic.
Here's a Reminder (That You Haven't Fallen Through the Cracks) by popsunner
If it’s a salesperson, he’ll shove them a hundred dollar tip and tell them to go away, if it’s some religious do gooder, he’ll direct them to Metropolis. If it’s a Rogue, he’ll tell them he’s busy and to please get in the fucking line. If it’s one of his siblings--
“Hey, Tim!” Dick says brightly, forearm braced against the doorframe.
Dammit.
i totally don't have amnesia by impravidus for odd_izzy
Based on this john mulaney bit: “I also think it's weird in movies when someone has amnesia and they wake up in the hospital. A lot of times they'll be surrounded by friends and family, but when they open their eyes they go "Who are you?" Because that's not how you act when you don't recognize somebody. That's very rude. It would be chaos out there if every time you saw someone you didn't recognize, you went, "Who are you?" I always try to be really polite in life, so like if I had amnesia, you'd never know it. I'd wake up and they'd be like "Hi John, we're so happy you're awake." And I'd just be like, "Oh, hey, man, how's it going?", "Oh, hey, dude, nice to see you again." because that's how you act when you can tell that someone recognizes you and you have no fucking clue who they are.”
Detective Timothy Drake and the Mysterious Case of the Unclaimed Dildo by JpegDotJpeg
Tim had a lot of experience with problem solving. Every goddamn day he was solving problems. There was no shortage of problems in Tim’s life. He’d learned how to deal with overbearing parents, underbearing parents, malfunctioning equipment, in-team conflict, lawsuits, emotional breakdowns, financial difficulty, broken ribs, ill-timed boners, and a whole host of other bizarre, anxiety-inducing, or life-threatening issues that plagued his existence.
None of them had prepared him for finding a dildo in the dishwasher.
I had so much fun reading this.
Little Overlooked Dreams by Lunette3002 for Marzue
Tim weighed his options. He was alone at night in some alleyway in Gotham. He had nothing except the clothes left on the ground by someone and the cloak wrapped around his skinny shoulders. His camera was nowhere in sight. His backpack was gone too.
He brought the device to his ear. “Hello?”
Whatever talking had been on the other end of the line immediately cut off at his hesitant greeting.
“Who is this?”
Family Photos by KelpieCodyne 
“I thought you quit your photo stalking?”
“In my defence, I never said I was quitting, and you never asked if I would,” Tim immediately counters. “So really, this is kind of on you.”
Just because Tim became a bat, doesn’t mean he stopped taking photos of bats. Several times Tim took photos of the batfamily, and one time they took photos of him.
One of my all time favorite fic. And only A03 users can read this fic too.
picture perfect memories by Fandom_Trash224 
“I… require assistance with something. I believe you are best-suited for it.”
Tim raises an eyebrow, but motions for the younger boy to enter his room. As Damian does, he slowly closes the door behind him, and Tim notices a small piece of what Tim assumes to be paper in Damian’s hand. Then, he realizes it’s not just a piece of paper: it’s a photo.
Damian approaches Tim, holding out the photo at arm’s length once he’s close enough to do so, saying, “I would like you to explain this photo to me.”
Tim glances down at it, and to both his surprise and mild horror, he recognizes the photo.
Only A03 users can read this fic.
Biphasic Reaction by renecdote
People may have allergic reactions all the time and be fine, but they can also die from them. He has a flash of sudden, morbid curiosity about what the exact statistics for fatal allergic reactions are.
Only A03 users can read this fic.
miles and miles (in their shoes) by JUBE514
Where is Damian? Why can’t he see anything clearly? Where is the little brat? Damian had been by him in the cave when everything had exploded, they had been arguing like always when the two of them had gotten the punishment to go clean the trophy room, stop yelling at each other, stop being at each other's throat for two minutes and go clean the goddamn trophy room-
They had been cleaning, got into another knock out drag out argument, and it had come so close to blows and they had been screaming more than cleaning and-
The stupid fucking shoe, in the magical section- exploded out-
--
Tim and Damian switch bodies, the two of them realize exactly why the other does the things they do.
The Waynes, Damsels in Distress by hitthedeck
Roses are red, violets are blue, Bruce Wayne and his kids get kidnapped every other week. Some things are just universal, undeniable facts of life.
Or, in which Bruce Wayne is still Batman and his kids are still Robins, but they keep letting themselves get kidnapped because they think it's funny.
Have You Seen My Kids!? by Cute_Bear
Five Times Bruce's kids interrupted him as Bruce Wayne and One Time they interrupted him as Batman with the Justice League.
This is not Tim - centric, but it has really nice batfam fluff.
ten cents richer by Ms_Trickster
You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.
That’s how the saying goes. Take enough punches from the universe and eventually it becomes harder and harder to pop back up, to see the worth in fighting back, to stop yourself from turning around and delivering some punches of your own.
Tim never wanted to become the villain—
“Appendicitis,” Tim breathed in disbelief. “Are you fucking kidding me?”
—but he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t tempted to burn the world to ashes when shit like this kept happening to him.
A Saturday Evening by malcyon
Jonathan shrugs, catches the expression still on Tim’s face. “We did throw out the cyanide.”
“Only because it expired.”
“Marty.”
“Well, it did.”
*****
Kon invites Tim over for dinner. Tim's not sure if he should have accepted that invitation.
unfurl by shipyrds
"Hey, Dick," Tim says. He's in costume, and fiddling with his gloves, but he doesn't remove his mask: nervous, and trying to hide it. "You've had sex with aliens, right?"
"I'm not going to like where this is going, am I?" Dick says, resigned.
"How did you deal with the whole. Junk situation," Tim says, in his best professional Mission Report voice. Its success is kind of undermined with how red his face is below the domino. — Tim asks some questions. Bruce and Clark come to some realizations.
The Conner Kent Conspiracy Board by Hayleythewriter
Tim figures out Kon’s feelings before Kon does.
His Baby by Musafir
Bruce once made Tim a promise that he would never break, just have to reaffirm later in life.
“Hi Tim. I’m Bruce and I am always going to be here for you.”
Banshee In A Well by liverobinreaction (bugbee)
Tim is five years old when he drowns in his parents' pool. He dies quietly, waiting for parents who love him, but will never be there, to realise that something is wrong. They never show up, and he sinks into oblivion.
When he wakes up and claws his way out of the water, the sun has set, and the lights of his house are on. He is cold and wet and his lungs burn.
But most of all, Tim is alone.
(If you die and no-one is there to see it, were you ever alive in the first place?)
The Return by lurkinglurkerwholurks 
What the comics neglected to cover after Bruce returns from being lost in time.
Only a03 users can read this fic.
charity by Valkirin for Ms_Trickster
The biggest downside of being adopted by Bruce Wayne is putting up with rich people events, including one where Jason will be in a room with a bunch of rich kids for a couple very long hours while Bruce goes to the adults' meeting. Jason is ready for a very bad time but the Drake kid listens to him from the start and keeps backing up Jason's ideas even though they've never met.
Jason warms up to Tim Drake long before Mad Hatter tries to take over the meeting and Tim backs him up again.
city of stars by lovelyre
College friends-to-lovers AU with Tim Drake.
This is Tim drake x Reader fic. Trust me its really good.
Tricks of the Trade by Jazz020
Jason and Damian learn about Tim's fool proof method of getting what he wants from Superman
Security Updates by Jazz020
Hal, Clark, and Barry find an unexpected guest playing with the watchtowers security.
Vacation at the Watchtower by Jazz020
A continuation of Security Updates
It may have been a mistake to let Tim stay at the Watchtower while he heals from his injury but the kid really needed to get away from his brothers.
“Wait, what if I go to the Watchtower with you.” “I don't think-” “It’ll be great. I'll even help out if you need me to. I'll be the best unpaid intern the Justice League has ever had.”
Birthdays by Jazz020
Bruce was always aware that Jack and Janet Drake were bad parents, but every once in a while they give him an unfortunate reminder.
Loss by Jazz020
Out of all of Tim’s self-destructive tendencies, it was his willingness to die for his loved ones that frightened Alfred most.
Sick by Jazz020
Tim’s never quite figured out the proper behavior for someone who’s sick. Instead of resting, he often makes his way to the Watchtower.
We Can Work It Out by blackash26, Tigrislupa
Damian endeavors to make up for his treatment of Drake and apologize properly; however, Drake refuses to forgive him no matter what he does. Tim does his best to deny, avoid, and ultimately deal with the fact that the demon brat has a crush on him of all people. (Pulling pigtails never felt like quite such an understatement.) Meanwhile, the rest of the family takes sides.
In all of this, there's only one thing everyone agrees on.
Don’t tell Dick.
Only A03 users can read this fic.
you'll never find a thing like today by remrose
"I'm just saying, I don't think I've ever been to one of these things that hasn't ended in explosions," Bart tells them, eyes on the crowds as he tugs at the ends of his cuffs.
To the Boy Who Called Yesterday by Shirokokuro
Bruce wonders when six-year-old Tim changed, when he shed that sad look he’s wearing now.
Or, perhaps, when he got so good at hiding it.
Cough syrup by Stardustwrites17
It’s the coldest night in the year. So of course Tim falls into the Gotham-fucking-harbor.
Featuring a worried dad, Tim's missing spleen, and of course, Tim battling with himself between being independent and letting himself be loved.
Chili dogs seasoned with tears by Robin_The_Robiner
Ever so slowly, Tim looked down at his plate. On it was a steaming chili dog, topped with fried onions and fresh parsley.
“Oh.” he whispered.
· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·
Taking the place of a beloved dead boy was difficult, but Tim managed to do a decent job. He's smart, confident, and put together, so he wasn't effected by their devastating grief at all.
Tim is also a dirty little liar when it comes to his mental health.
A Pile Of Pillows By The Couch by reinersbigtits
Tim has always hated getting sick. He hates the haze and the pain. But, when he finds out his family is sick he jumps in to help without a second thought. However, without a spleen, he's incredibly susceptible to the illness and quickly realizes just how much he's missed out on.
Or: Tim Drakes repressed trauma followed by worried family feels and lots of comfort.
stepping on landmines by Ms_Trickster
There is a scar curved around Drake's neck that Damian does not understand.
So he asks Todd.
the butler's neighbor by deargalileo
It starts with a baseball, thrown onto the wayne's property. it's alfred's job to deal with such happenings, of course. but over tea and galas, it turns into so much more.
after all, why should bruce be the only one allowed to adopt any child that he finds?
Stranger than Fiction by foxy_mulder
"There are details in this document that absolutely no one should know unless they have inside information on us. There’s hints that they know our patrol schedules and regularly keep tabs on us. I don't know who's behind this, or what they want with Batman, but tracking the writer needs to be a priority."
"And this document is… a fanfiction?"
_________
(Tim Drake writes Batman fanfiction. He doesn't expect Batman to actually find it.)
There are many many more fics which i will post later. Have fun reading
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julezo · 5 months ago
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i feel like no one’s making crazy shit in fanfiction that isn’t weird smut. stay with me here ok i don’t mean that the quality of existing ff is poor bc it’s not. my issues that the existing stuff is v tropey. “mafia au” “coffee shop au” “royal au” yeah maybe but we can do better than that. each of those has a cooler version that i don’t see at all.
examples:
1. batfam au where the batfam = the Romanovs right b4 the russian revolution (there were five girls and 1 boy irl, but flip it to make the robins and steph or cass? idk who the queen would be)
2. instead of a “harry potter goes to 1942 and fucks tmr’s shit up”, send both those suckers to the fucking roman empire. could make them friends, mortal enemies, incredibly reliant on one another.. or lovers WHO SAID THAT
3. lawlight wherein L is one presidential candidate and light is the other. they break many laws and end up either both losing or with one as the other’s veep. (or they were both vying for their mutual party’s nomination, one got it, the other’s the veep, watch the US burn)
4. hannibal au where it’s the aztec empire and Will is going to be a human sacrifice to Hannibal (who’s a god here). idk how to do this with proper grace to the culture but i’m sure it could be done
so yeah
ANYways the point is that coffee shops are cool but bland. i love lattes and “can i take your order” but jfc Live a little
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puppetmaster13u · 5 months ago
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Prompt 351
Bruce is Exhausted. Capital E and everything. He can feel himself get older, even with how Gotham’s aging worked. So perhaps it was less getting older, and more of his body finally rebelling against the abuse he put it through night and day. 
Way too many old injuries flaring up and bones full of steel aching. The issue, really, is that his kids are starting to complain about the same things. And if they’re actually complaining about it, then it’s bad, that’s just how everyone in the family is. 
They make a fuss about each other’s injuries, but don’t so much as talk about their own unless it’s an active issue. So. It’s a big issue. 
Which meant actually wrangling them to the doctors…
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cherrycoke1818 · 25 days ago
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A bunch of Bats
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Little doodles I made while waiting for my dads court case to start ❤️
it was lowkey boring af but there was this massive cockroach on the wall so I just stared at that as it crawled all the way from the floor to the top of the 10ft tall ceilings and fall onto the opposing councils table cause they took my pen away 💔
I drew sad batblob when I got it back
anyway yeah, I’m highkey suffering with my insomnia and I lost my tablet charger so I can’t draw digitally for the time being (I still technically can but I’m rationing my battery for my lit finals digital draft of the traditional piece due in three weeks, the book it’s about is Les Miserables, I might start posting some classical lit stuff cause that’s what I’ve been thriving off of)
who’s y’all’s favorite bat?
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jaybirdhaswings · 22 days ago
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robin is supposed to be the light to batmans darkness
robin reminds batman what hes fighting *for* when batman forgets and just focuses on the fight
dick was good at that, but that wasnt what his time as robin was about
his time as robin was about him joining the fight too
jason was there to remind batman to be bruce
tim was there to remind batman to be *human*
tim was batmans biggest support and he continued to be that, even after bruce ‘died’
i just love tim fitting with bruce in a way no other robin ever had or ever will, but bruce doesnt realize it
bruce was focused on his grief for jason for years and by the time he got it into his head to really appreciate tim, tim was already red robin
still there to support, but with his own life and fight now
bruce reminiscing on all the missed opportunities to tell time that he loved him because he was too caught up in the past
and that leads to bruce realizing that thats always what hes done
hes always bedn trapped in the past, unable to move on and appreciate the present
tim being imperative to bruce becoming a better father, batman, and just person in general but it comes at the cost of tim
tim will never be the same either
hes been irreparably changed by bruce in the way bruce had been irreparably changed by tim
tim has blood on his hands thatll never wash away
his brain will always jump to how he can defeat whoever is in the room with him
he cant sleep without worrying about the criminals of gotham and what theyre up to
i just love tim and bruce
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officialbruciewayne · 5 months ago
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came fa tha tea ((bruce)). stayed for tha cookies.((mun))
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ooc. aww you think I'm a cookie /)//v//(\
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touchoffleece · 9 months ago
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what came to me after watching the Kaela "adopting" ReGloss-but-mostly-Hajime arc on the Minecraft Hardcore Server
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addendum: I had initially written the text in "normal" speech, but thought to commit to the bit and try my hand at decyphering Hajime's dialect?/accent? to properly replicate it. I ended up researching japanese dialects, slang, and pronunciation for about an hour or hour-and-a-half to make what was essentially those 3 sentences she uttered to replicate Terry. Localizing/Translating is hard. If my Oya/oYA pun, does not work please let me know, because I was confused and just took a shot at making the joke hoping it works based of some reddit post I found explaining the differences and meaning.
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cherrysnax · 1 year ago
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autisming but my biggest pet peeve abt Batman is when someone who only ever consumed fanon is like “why doesn’t Bruce do *insert thing that he’s done since nearly his conception*
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zeawesomebirdie · 1 year ago
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"I've heard some horror stories about Bruce Wayne's latte order." EXCUSE ME HELLO
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starryaugust · 7 months ago
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The moment I master my macaron making skills I'm so making batfam macaron
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emotional-piece-of-meat · 3 months ago
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Let me introduce you to this concept: batkids pick a silly t-shirt of the week, in which Brucie will be “accidentally” caught by the paparazzi.
Dick, as a millennial he is, chooses something with mottos like yolo or jokes about coffee. He also has a special love for quotes and puns, which nobody but him finds funny.
Jason does not participate, because he refuses to think about Bruce more than it’s absolutely necessary. And if some t-shirt reminds him of his dad Bruce, well, he just passes by.
Barbara, although she has a wonderful sense of humour, uses her power to spread awareness instead. When an important social or political event takes place in Gotham and beyond its chapels, the choice is hers.
Cass loves matching t-shirts, because it makes her feel that she belongs. Every time it's her turn to pick, newspapers spread out the touching headlines like “Bruce Wayne was caught with his daughter in I'm with stupid t-shirts”.
Steph simply goes to the women's department and chooses one of those ugly Eiffel Tower or a rhinestone “princess” t-shirt. They're also usually pretty tight, and, trust me, the press just loves it.
Tim wake up and choose violence Drake prints t-shirts himself, always putting some brainrot words on them. That's how “what a sigma” and “skibidi toilet rizzler” appeared in Bruce's wardrobe.
Damian takes great pride in his t-shirts, because he draws pictures on them by hand. Nobody could convince him that it's not, in fact, a competition, and he has to make sure that he is winning.
Duke always gives Bruce some niche band t-shirts. Plot twist? These bands do not exist. He just creates them himself and then proceeds to gaslight people, because “what do you mean you don't know batshit on the rooftop? You, uncultured pig! Their music literally changed my life!”.
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terrestrialnoob · 2 months ago
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Gut Feeling
DPXDC
Commissioner Jim Gordon meets an odd kid in the precinct.
--
“Come on, you really don’t have a way to directly contact Batman?”
Jim smiled. Kids came to the station and asked that all the time. Usually, it was just curiosity and showing them the signal was enough to get them to sign up for the Junior Police program. This one looked a little older than most, teenagers were often “too old” to believe in Batman, but again, give them a little faith now and they’ll never loose it.
“Lookin’ for the Bat, kid?” Jim asked, knowing he was about to make this kid’s –
Jim froze. The kid turned to face him and it was Bruce Wayne. Not playboy billionaire Bruce Wayne, but freshly a teenager Bruce Wayne. The Bruce Wayne who Jim had checked in on time and again from age eight until he ran off on a globetrotting trip to find himself. The little Bruce Wayne with too pale skin and dark bags under his eyes, and not enough love to make up for all the grief weighing him down. And he didn’t look like Damian either, where Bruce was obviously his father but there were distinct traits from his mother. This was a carbon copy of a boy Jim remembered vividly.
“I am.” He even sounded like teenage Bruce. All business, like he was on a mission.
“I might be able to help you, but it’ll take a while.” Jim said and the officer the kid had been talking too gave him an odd look. He waved her off and told the kid to follow him to the commissioner’s office. Normally, he’d be more dramatic, put on more of a show for the kid, but his gut told him this was different, this was important. He offered the kid a styrofoam cup of water then closed the door behind him. “So, what do you need to talk to Batman for?”
“It’s personal. I need to talk to him in person.”
Jim took a sip of coffee from his cup. “He doesn’t appreciate me calling for no reason in the middle of the day.”
“So you do have a direct line?” The kid nearly jumped out of his seat. “If he’s upset, it’ll be my fault, just call him, please.”
“Who should I say wants to talk to him?”
The kid hesitated. “He doesn’t know me, but I have to talk to him.”
Jim frowned. “What’s your name, kid?”
He swallowed and looked like he wasn’t going to answer for a moment. “Danny.”
“Danny…?” Jim wanted a last name but Danny kept quiet. Jim sighed, “He’s likely not going to show up until sundown.”
“I can wait, as long as you guarantee he’ll show.”
“And you’re not going to tell me why you need Batman?” Jim just got a glare in response. “What about one of the other heroes?”
“Only Batman, no one else can help.”
“You sure about that? Not even Superman?”
“Not unless Superman can get me in the same room as Batman.”
“Why’s it so important that you meet him in person?”
“It’s personal.”
Jim liked this less and less by the minute. “Do your parents know you’re here?”
Danny looked away but right when it looked like he wouldn’t say anything he mumbled. “They wouldn’t care anyway.”
After another moment to give the kid time to reconsider, Jim pulled out the Bat-phone. It was a normal Wayne-Tech cell phone, but Jim had been given very specific instructions on how and when to use it. The phone listed all the Gotham Vigilantes without visible numbers so they couldn’t be copied and handed out. He pressed the one for Batman.
“Stand outside, would you?” The kid gave him a look, but followed the request. Jim could see his shadow in the door’s window, not so subtle eavesdropping.
It rang a few times, and Jim sat there awkwardly with a teenager listening to his every move. Finally, a familiar voice picked up the other end of the line. “Commissioner Gordon.”
“Sorry to call you out of the blue Batman, but I’ve got a kid here who needs your help.”
“Who?”
“Says his name is Danny, that you’ve never met him but you’re the only one who can help him.”
“Why?”
“Refuses to tell me.”
“What’s your best guess, Commissioner?”
Jim looked at Danny’s shadow, it looked like he was straining his ears to try and hear what he was saying. Danny had given him almost nothing to work with. Just his name, that he’s never met Batman but needs to talk with him in person. But Jim was here because he listened to his gut. A feeling like when you see a random rock on your neighbor’s doorstep but you’d never go in without an invitation. A feeling like you know what’s in the present and are preparing your surprised face. A feeling like when you cheated on your wife and you know she knows.
“He looks like Bruce Wayne.”
A beat of silence. “What?”
“Danny looks exactly like Bruce when he was a teenager. Exactly the same.” Jim hoped Batman would get it, feel in his gut what Jim felt.
“And he wont say why he’s there?”
“No, and he demands to see you in person.”
“I’ll be there in an hour.”
“10-4.” The line cut off before Jim had finished saying it. He called Danny in again. “He’s on his way.”
Danny glared at him. “If he’s not, if you called some social worker or something, you’ll regret it.”
“I’m sure.” Jim sighed and downed the rest of his now cold coffee.
The sun hadn’t set, but only just barely. Jim ended up taking Danny up to the roof in the end after all, if only to save his window from being broken into. The kid had a red hoodie on, but he was still shivering in the autumn chill and it was just going to get colder by the minute as the sun made its way behind the horizon.
Jim checked his watch and, at exactly an hour from when he called, he acted surprised when Batman and Robin appeared out of nowhere. “Bats.”
“Commissioner.” Batman greeted but his eyes went straight for Danny. “Danny, I assume.”
“Yeah, I…” Danny hesitated, looking at Jim and Robin.
All it took was four words from Batman. “What do you need?”
The kid held out his hand with a flash drive in it. “I’m your clone. My par- The people who made me wanted to make a stronger version of you, but they got ahead of themselves. My DNA is degrading and I’ll die if I don’t get your DNA to stabilize me.”
Holy cow.
“You don’t expect us to believe that, do you?” Robin sneered at him.
“The flash drive has all the info on it. All the data about the cloning process and the, uh, relevant experiments after that.” Batman gave the kid a look. “I didn’t want to waste time on unnecessary data.”
“If what you’re saying is true, why are you here, alone? Are they working on a different solution?”
Danny’s shoulders hiked up. “I’ve been a failure for a while now, I’m not worth the resources and they’d learn more from an autopsy.”
Oof, kid. Jim looked at Batman who seemed to feel the same… if Jim was reading him right.
“So, you wont object to a DNA test?” Robin asked with a cocky head tilt, at least he was relatively easy to read.
“You can try.” Danny said, and then realized what that sounded like. “I mean I wont stop you, but my DNA degrades faster outside my body. You’ll have to take me to whatever lab you plan on using.”
“Then we will.” Batman said and jerked his head towards where they’d probably parked that ridiculous car of his. But then he looked at Jim with a nod. “Commissioner.”
“Batman.” Jim returned the nod. “You’ll tell me how things turn out, yeah?”
“I’ll give you a report.” Batman joked – Jim could tell, it was gut feeling.
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dc-gotham-instincts-wild · 8 days ago
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Headcanon that Jason just kidnaps his siblings instead of asking them to hang out sometimes.
Sometimes he does the normal abduction thing and other times he has his methods.
Dick: Jason sneaks into Dick’s apartment in Blüdhaven at 3 AM, throws him over his shoulder, and drags him to his motorcycle. Dick wakes up mid-ride, half-conscious, groggily mumbling, "Jay, what the hell—?"
- Jason just shushes him and tosses a burger into his lap. "Shut up and eat, Goldie. We're bonding." (Jason, allowing his big brother to ruffle his hair? Nooooo, absolutely not...)
Tim: Jason straight-up drugs him asleep him when Tim refuses to take a break. He wakes up in Jason’s apartment with a cup of coffee and a sandwich waiting for him, while Jason sits on the couch reading a book.
- “You looked dead on your feet, Replacement. Either you napped willingly or I made you. Guess which one you picked.” (Jason totally doesn't rake a hand over his lil bro's hair during this time)
Steph: Jason knows Steph is a wild card when it comes to hanging out, so he has to be a little sneakier with her. He'd show up at her place unannounced, pretending to just be casually passing by, and in one smooth motion, he'd grab her and yank his little sister into his car or bike before she even realizes what's happening. (He totally doesn't do this in time with hard school, noooo)
Damian: Jason scoops him up mid-battle and just walks away with him. Damian kicks, bites, and yells, "UNHAND ME, TODD!" but Jason holds him like an angry kitten.
- They end up at a rooftop picnic with Alfred’s homemade food. Damian eventually eats while grumbling about Jason's “barbaric methods” but secretly enjoys the attention. (Jason maaayybe ruffles his hair a lot.)
Cass: She just lets it happen. Jason shows up, gestures toward his bike, and Cass just hops on without a word. They go on long road trips in comfortable silence, getting ice cream at 2 AM and scaring off criminals for fun. (Jason totally doesn't take the time to help her with her speech-)
Duke: Duke gets fake-napped. Jason tells him, "Be outside in five minutes," and when Duke says no, Jason still shows up, grabs him, and hauls him into a car.
- Duke just sighs and texts Bruce: "Jason's 'kidnapping' me again. Back later." (Jason totally doesn't get the names of school bullies from him and uses them, noooooooo)
Bruce knows this happens. He just sighs and lets it happen because, honestly? It’s Jason’s way of showing love. And at least the kids are getting along.
Jason kidnaps his siblings because it's his way of saying, "You're important to me, and I'm gonna drag you into ridiculous situations whether you like it or not."
He also, however, does it to Bruce.
In fact, it might be one of his favorite things to do, just because Bruce is always so serious and “responsible.”
Jason thinks it’s hilarious to force Bruce to take a break. He just shows up at the Batcave, probably with some kind of overly complicated plan to "kidnap" Bruce without him realizing.
Step 1: Jason would distract Alfred with a "Oh, just a quick check-in, you know, 'cause it’s been a while.’"
Step 2: He would wait for Bruce to get fully immersed in some case files and then sneak up behind him, tap him on the shoulder, and when Bruce turns around, Jason’s already got him in a headlock, pulling him out of the chair like, "Get up, old man. We're going to a diner. No arguments."
Bruce would protest, of course. He'd probably try to get out of it with his usual grumpy “I’m too busy” routine. Jason might fake-sigh and act like he's just trying to help Bruce loosen up, reminding him, "I know you think you’re invincible, but you still need to eat, Batman."
And if Bruce insists on not going, Jason would just drag him anyway. He might even grab the Batmobile for a joyride (he's always wanted to), making Bruce sit shotgun while Jason drives like an absolute maniac (Jokes on both because Bruce taught him to drive-)
Bruce would probably be scowling the whole time, but Jason would know his dad is secretly enjoying it, even if he won't admit it.
Eventually, Bruce would probably give in and get his grumpy little “dad” lecture—“You’re so reckless, Jason—” but Jason would just smile and be like, "Whatever. You’re welcome.”
Jason totally doesn't like it when his dad just ruffles his hair at some point.
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luv-lock · 2 months ago
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ㅤֹㅤ⊹ㅤ #ㅤA 10/10ㅤ.ᐟ ֹ ₊ ꒱
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☆⁠ PAIRING : Batboys x Fem Reader
☆⁠ CHARACTERS : Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Damian Wayne.
☆⁠ HEADCANON : General thought about their d!ck.
☆⁠ NOTES : Minors DNI. Yes I'm ashame of myself... And for people that says "but Damian is 14-16" we literally have at least 5-6 version of him as an adult, so yeah. English is not my first language. Hope you enjoy!
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— BRUCE WAYNE ⋆
Let’s be real here—Bruce is packing. Not just in the Batmobile but in his pants too. You knew Gotham’s favorite billionaire had to be compensating for all the emotional repression somehow, right? Soft, he’s a solid 4.5 inches, but when he’s hard? This man is pushing 7.8 inches, and girthy enough that the first time you see it, your eyes might widen just a little (and he notices). Bruce is so well-kept it’s almost infuriating—clean-shaven, smooth, with a slight curve upwards that hits places you didn’t even know existed. The veins? Immaculate. He looks like something out of a sinful art gallery. And oh, he’s so smug about it. The type to whisper in your ear, “You’re taking me so well,” while his cock stretches you open in the most delicious way. His stamina is next level—he doesn’t cum quickly, but when he does? It’s thick, warm, and comes in heavy spurts. Not too salty either, with a clean taste (you’re welcome). He’s also quietly obsessed with how you react to him—it feeds his ego.
— DICK GRAYSON ⋆
Alright, ladies, let’s talk about Dick. The first Robin, the golden boy—of course, he’s a damn gift in the bedroom too. Soft, he’s a respectable 4 inches, but when he’s fully hard that’s 7.5 inches, sleek and just slightly slimmer than Bruce’s (he jokes about being “aerodynamic”). Dick’s cock curves upward just right, a natural curve that always hits your G-spot perfectly, and his veins are prominent enough that you feel every ridge as he moves inside you. He’s smooth down there, neatly trimmed, and he has a little beauty mark just above his shaft (you discovered it while going down on him one day, and now you can’t stop kissing it). His tip is super sensitive—run your tongue along it, and he’s putty in your hands. And when Dick cums? It’s a lot. Like, a lot. He’s a messy boy—warm, thick, and he always gasps your name when he finishes, pressing his forehead to yours like it’s the most intimate thing in the world.
— JASON TODD ⋆
Jason’s cock matches his vibe: thick, heavy, and absolutely commanding. Soft? This man is 5 inches, and when he’s hard? He’s a beast at 8.5 inches with a girth that’ll make you question if you can handle it (spoiler: you’ll love it). He’s got a slight downward curve, which hits your walls just right when he’s thrusting deep. And god, the veins. Jason’s dick looks like it was carved by a lustful Greek god—thick, prominent veins that press against every inch of you in the most obscene way. He’s not as neatly trimmed as Bruce or Dick—just enough to stay presentable, but it’s Jason, so you’d expect a bit of ruggedness. His tip is flushed and sensitive, and when you wrap your lips around him, he curses low and filthy under his breath. Jason cums hard—his orgasms are so intense that he growls through them, his whole body trembling as he empties himself inside you. His cum is hot, thick, and just slightly salty, like he’s been drinking too much coffee (which, let’s be real, he has).
— DAMIAN WAYNE ⋆
Listen, Damian might be the youngest of the bunch, but don’t underestimate him. His cock is a masterpiece. Soft, he’s around 4.2 inches, and when he’s hard? A respectable 7 inches—not as long as Jason or Bruce, but he’s thicker than Dick. Damian is proud of what he’s got, too, the type to smirk and tease you about how flustered you get every time he pulls it out. His tip is a little darker than the rest of his shaft, and the veins are subtle but enough to feel every time he slides into you. He’s meticulous about grooming, of course—everything is perfectly trimmed, and he smells so damn good it drives you wild. When Damian cums, it’s deliberate and controlled—he’s not the type to lose himself completely, but that just makes it hotter. His release is warm, thick, and there’s always a smug smirk on his face when he watches you struggle to catch your breath afterward. He’s the type to kiss you deeply and whisper, “You can take more, can’t you?” because he loves pushing your limits.
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— MASTERLIST ☆
— © luv-lock. Don't copy, repost or translate any of my works here or any other websites ☆
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