#Bruce cries whenever Steph wants him to

[hehether]

INSIDE OUT ROBIN EDITION

Robin!Steph suffered so many terrible traumas too, let's acknowledge it 🤼‍♂️

[gay-dorito-dust]

Would they or would they not catch you…

Dick: yes. 100% yes but he’s -no pun intended- a little bit of a teasing dick about it.

He will catch you but then act as though he’s going to drop you by loosening his grip, making you scream out of surprise and cling onto him tighter, all the while beaming that bright and beautiful smile of his as though he wasn’t about to willingly let you fall flat on your ass on multiple occasions.

‘I fucking hate you!’ You whined, smacking Dick on the bicep.

‘Oh do you now?’ Dick inquires as he slowly begins to losses his grip on you, smirking.

‘Did I say hate you? I meant love you, a lot! Please don’t drop me.’ You cried as you tightened your grip on his neck whilst struggling to keep your feet from touching the floor. ‘Awww I love you too gorgeous.’ Dick coos as he pressed kisses into your face as you could only glare at the cheeky bastard.

You hate him sometimes but you weren’t going to complain about the affection you were being given. So you guess you’ll suffer for now.

Side note: he might even try and see if you can catch him. 💀

Jason: He will catch you but makes it a big deal whenever he can. He loves holding you in his arms.

He could keep you in his arms forever if he could but knew that he can’t, so he settles for going about his day carrying you throughout the apartment instead.

‘You can put down any day now.’ You’d tell him but that only makes Jason tighten his grip on you as he moved in his makeshift library for a book to read.

‘No.’ He simply replied, scouring the many book titles in front of him in the hopes that one might speak to him. You pout. ‘What do you mean no?’ Jason then looks at you and says. ‘No means no. As in no I will not put you down because I do as I like and will not be told otherwise, so the cutie currently in my arms has to deal with it.’ He then smiles as he presses a kiss to your forehead before looking back towards the bookshelves.

You end up falling asleep in his arms and Jason couldn’t help but smile at how cute you were, even if you did look like the living dead.

Damian: says no but will in fact catch you without hesitation.

However if you do try to tease him about it, then he will drop you without a second thought. ‘You can catch yourself next time.’ He would say as he walks away, leaving you with a bruised ass. Titus -who saw the whole thing- would come up to you to make sure you weren’t genuinely hurt and encourage you to get up by nudging you with his head.

Don’t test him because he will do it and then act like the whole thing didn’t happen if you were to bring it up.

‘Dick.’ You’d say as you stood up.

‘I heard that.’ He’d call back, his voice echoing off the walls. ‘You were meant to.’ You reply. ‘And at least Titus came to check up on me to see if I wasn’t hurt.’ You’d add while scratching Titus behind the ear.

Needless to say you were more cautious when choosing Damian to catch you. However he does apologise for dropping you on your ass by gifting you something he himself drew by hand; He secretly doesn’t like it when you’re upset with him and will do anything to rectify it.

What a sweetheart.

Bruce: he’s too use to you pulling this type of shit that it’s basically muscle memory for him to catch you as you’re running towards him, all with a straight face mind you.

Be grateful because he risked a much needed bowl of Mulligatawny soup just to catch you in his arms, but then again the kisses you bombard his cheek is more than reward enough, a small almost missable smile appears on his lips as he then proceeds to carry you for the rest of the day as “punishment.”

( this only occurs when Bruce is feeling particularly affectionate or playful)

Much to your batkids -Dick, Jason, Tim, Damian, Duke, Cass and Steph- dismay. They’d want to use this as blackmail, but they know that it will backfire as you’ll probably hang the photo on a wall somewhere in the manor, reminding them of how disgustingly their parents can be when given the opportunity.

[miryum]

☆ 18+ minors dni ☆ (ish. Not descriptive at all)

So I’ve done Brother’s Best Friend!Jason Todd, right? Well, what about Best Friend’s Brother!Jason Todd?

Best Friend’s Brother!Jason Todd would have a totally different vibe and I will die on this hill

Best Friend’s Brother!Jason Todd who, instead of playing the long game like Brother’s Best Friend!Jason Todd, would think to himself, right when he met you, “that’s who I’m gonna marry”

Best Friend’s Brother!Jason Todd who, from the moment you entered his home, would have his eyes set on you because holy shit you were so innocent and lovely and had no idea what you were walking into 

Best Friend’s Brother!Jason Todd who would be envious of his little sister, Stephanie, for being friends with you, but also extremely thankful that you two were friends because it’s how he met you

Best Friend’s Brother!Jason Todd who would hang around Wayne Manor more and more often just for the chance of seeing you. Of course, Alfred was the first to catch on. Then Steph, then Bruce, and slowly the rest of the family

Best Friend’s Brother!Jason Todd who didn’t care that you were only in college and he was nearing thirty – you were his

Best Friend’s Brother!Jason Todd who would stare at you when you and Stephanie were studying together in the Wayne library. He would literally just stand in the doorway, arms crossed and staring in your direction, a deadly smirk on his lips. How else was he supposed to flirt with you? Ever since the Lazarus Pit, his perception of… social awareness was off

Best Friend’s Brother!Jason Todd who would contemplate whether or not he should ask you out because you were Steph’s best friend and he didn’t want to insert himself into your friendship

Best Friend’s Brother!Jason Todd who would take his contemplations out on one of the punching bags in the gym. Dick eventually had to come in and check on Jason after he had broken two punching bags

Best Friend’s Brother!Jason Todd who hung around Steph for days on end, gaining up courage to ask her if she was okay with him asking you out. Steph was definitely suspicious and finally just bluntly asked him what was wrong

Best Friend’s Brother!Jason Todd who breathed out a sigh of relief when Steph squealed happily and cried out, “of course! Oh, you two will be perfect together!”

Best Friend’s Brother!Jason Todd who then waited two and a half more weeks to ask you out because he was too nervous. He would send you winks and even drove Steph back to Gotham University after break just on the off chance of seeing you. He did and he had never smiled more widely in his life

Best Friend’s Brother!Jason Todd who groans and burrows his head in his hood whenever Steph teases him about you or when Dami asks, “I do not see the problem. If you cannot ask a girl out, Todd, then perhaps you are not fit to fight villains”

Best Friend’s Brother!Jason Todd who finally asks you out after you and Steph had a sleepover at Wayne Manor. He got up extra early that morning and began stress-making pancakes, as any rational person does

Best Friend’s Brother!Jason Todd who, after sliding you a plate full of pancakes, stutters over his words and scratches his neck and heat fills his cheeks, is relieved when you’re the one to ask him out

Best Friend’s Brother!Jason Todd who, later, would insist that he wasn’t nervous and would tell everyone, even your grandkids, that he was the one to ask you out

Best Friend’s Brother!Jason Todd who caved under your smirking glare and eventually admitted to your grandkids that he didn’t have the courage to ask out the love of his life

Best Friend’s Brother!Jason Todd who takes you wherever you want with Bruce’s money – even if you only ask to go browsing at the bookstore, he would buy you any book you looked at

Best Friend’s Brother!Jason Todd who, as I’ve said earlier, doesn’t really know how to act at first and doesn’t know how to show his affection. So, he buys you gifts and gives you the key to his apartment two months in

Best Friend’s Brother!Jason Todd who, after spending the first (non-sexual) night with you, suddenly realised how touch starved he was

Best Friend’s Brother!Jason Todd who then did not spend another second not touching you. Whether it’s an arm over your shoulder, holding your hand, or pulling your feet up onto his lap when you two are sitting on the couch

Best Friend’s Brother!Jason Todd who would slowly move you in without you even knowing. At first it was a couple clothes, and then a book or two, and then a couple picture frames here or there, and then oh well, it just makes sense that you move in

Best Friend’s Brother!Jason Todd who would decorate your skin with open mouthed kisses after your first (sexual) night with you, whispering over and over again how much he loves you

Best Friend’s Brother!Jason Todd who wouldn’t have to introduce you to his family because luckily, you already knew them all! 

Best Friend’s Brother!Jason Todd who would join you and Steph for girls night and paint his toes and gossip and let you run your hands through his hair (and maybe braid it)

Best Friend’s Brother!Jason Todd who would be the epitome of a gentleman and open doors for you, stare down other guys who looked at you, and gave you his leather jacket when he took you out riding on his motorcycle (and if you got a little handsy, he wouldn’t mind)

Best Friend’s Brother!Jason Todd who didn’t dare get you into the Red Hood/vigilante business and god forbid a villain got ahold of you

Best Friend’s Brother!Jason Todd who wouldn’t hesitate to kill anyone who threatened your safety and then afterward hold you close, whispering sweet nothings as he lets Tim and Cass take care of it

Best Friend’s Brother!Jason Todd who, even after years of being together, would still kiss you like there’s no tomorrow and remind you that he loves you every five minutes

[brucewaynehater101]

okay so I think I recall an ask here about Jason and Tim who got JJ'd having to work with an alternate Good Joker and it got me thinking about those actor AUs where canon is just a live-action piece of media, specifically this post

So now I'm thinking of Actor!Joker having just left the bar after a good day of drinking, not drunk enough to not get home by himself, only to get non-lethally isekaied into DC

From his perspective, one minute he was walking home, the next he started seeing himself playing the most lucrative role in his career. Dissassociation if he had to guess. He might need therapy

Oh, the Joker he plays is trying to kill him. Self defense it is-- he killed him. well he can't fault himself for it if he never learned self defense now can he :/

Is that a camera? Oh yeah, Joker and loads of his other roles break the fourth wall, and improvisation is expected of him

He looks straight into the camera, the audience, "this is why we don't method act kids. hallucinations" he points at not-him with that final word

"but you all see me pointing at nothing, don'tcha?"

Fuck it, for added humor, the minute Batman gets on the scene & Actor!Joker lays eyes on him, he say "now I'm hallucinating my fiance's role too, what a day," and also Jason and Tim and Duke are there for maximum psychic damage

Hey maybe the three were hostages because the Joker wanted to torment the top three bats he fucked up the most on live television for all of Gotham to see only for Actor!Joker to ruin everything

But also the three seeing this go down through the screen would be funny as shit too

Actor Universe lore; Actor!Joker and Actor!Bruce met through previous roles, kicked off a friendship that became a relationship and soon to be marriage and thats how Actor!Joker met Actor!Bruce hoard of children

this would lead to much of the quote on quote Batfamily Plotline being concieved, through Actor!Joker and Actor!Batkids scheming together to make the most drama-filled superhero story they could

So Actor!Joker and Actor!Batkids would cook up the most gutwrenching ideas, building of eachothers ideas, and cheered eachother on as the Batfamily lore became more and more emotionally devastating

Actor!Bruce can testify because years later into Batman, he still cries fountains of tears when he reads the script and something awful happens to the roles his kids plays, or Bruce Wayne is a shit father

actor!joker: my love, I have propositions the directors will grovel for

actor!bruce: oh no

his kids: daddy I have a new idea for my role >:3

actor!bruce: OH NO!

I think it goes without saying that the actors and characters they play don't have the same name, but I can't be bothered to come up with any mysel lol

Yo!!! This is a wicked cool idea. I dislike Joker/Batman (unless it's the Lego Batman), but I am vibing with this one.

To add on, what if Bruce and Joker became directors specifically so they could sort of adopt their kids? They would be those actors that also direct and screenwrite their own movies.

I want to see Crystal Brown being on set (not necessarily on scene) whenever Steph is, and Bruce and Joker chatting with her when they aren't working. Arthur Brown makes plenty of jokes and pulls pranks on his daughter.

Willis and Catherine cheer on Jason (and sometimes *can't* be on set when certain scenes play out) and smother him in affection after he's done.

The Drakes have their own careers they have to pursue while Tim is filming, but they try to make it on set at least once a week and watch every premiere with Tim. They are good friends with the other parents and only allow Tim to be on set without them because they trust Bruce and Joker.

The Graysons are acrobats in real life as well. Dick wanted to pursue a career in acting instead. They support their son, and he often does performances with them.

Would Damian still be Bruce's kid? If so, I wonder what Joker and Talia's relationship is like. Talia is obviously a fierce but loving mom in this AU. She viciously protects Damian, his privacy, and his ability to stop acting at any time. Damian enjoys acting and being on set with his dad. I also hc that Talia is famous as well. Maybe a model, maybe another actor, or maybe something else. Ra's is the owner/head of a really famous entertainment business. It has branches all over the world, including America.

The Thomases take turns with who's on set with Duke. They both work as well so that a majority of the income Duke makes goes towards his savings or his own spending.

I didn't talk about Barbara or Cass or Alfred or Kate or etc., but feel free to add more!

Actor!Joker would be appalled and disgusted with Batman. Actor!Bruce was playing a role. Yes, the role was somewhat based on Bruce, but he would never harm his kids. He would rather kill than allow them to come to harm.

When Actor!Joker gets transported to that universe, his distaste for Batman is the truly jarring piece of it all. He's not obsessed like their universe's Joker. Actor!Joker shows understanding for their hatred/distance from him. He accepts their boundaries and considers their feelings (in his own very weird way). He doesn't torment. He killed the other Joker.

Just Joker's mannerisms of "whelp, what can you do?" as he murders the other Joker. He still laughs a lot, does harmless pranks, and makes a ton of jokes. Somehow, he does this while lecturing Batman on treating his kids better.

[cuephrase]

Of the DC comics you've read so far, what would be your top recommendations for people to check out/what have you enjoyed the most?

when i tell you i have been thinking about this all day- i have been thinking about this. all. day.

so disclaimer, as of writing this, i have only read 31 runs from start to finish and 18 arcs/events outside of those runs. on top of, everything i've read so far has been strictly robin-centric, so dick, jason, tim, and damian. (i have read all of steph's robin appearances lol, but i haven't gotten to reading material for her, like say batgirl 2009, yet.) i've also decided not to rec from any run i'm currently reading, so for example, you won't see any batman: gotham knights recs here. because i'm most well-read on the robins, i'm only going to rec for them.

also, i'm going to operate under the following assumption: you've got a basic knowledge of the robins. none of these are where i would necessarily recommend anyone start reading about the boys, but i do think they'd be pretty interesting if you're already somewhat familiar with them and don't want to commit to reading whole character backlogs. does that make sense? i hope that makes sense.

alright, let's do this!

DICK GRAYSON

oh god. this one is actually so hard because he has so much great stuff, but then also i have like a love/frustrate relationship with so much of it. like for instance, i really enjoyed The New Teen Titans, but also lowkey can't stand space adventures so whenever that went down i was like 😀👍. but okay. hmmmm.

i have two preboot recs, with explanations + caveats.

devin grayson's mob!dick arc, so Nightwing 1996 #99-100, 107-117. caveats: it doesn't really get to finish playing out/wraps up weird because of editorial changes/infinite crisis. but!! it's a super interesting look at how dick handles...failure. how he values himself in light of that failure.

tomasi's run, but specifically #147-153. (listen, i love the dick and tim moments in 'freefall' but the whole eternally pregnant lady thing was too weird.) this is classic, hyper-competent dick, okay? he's such a bad-ass. and an idiot- bro literally flops his severely injured ass over the bars of his glider and rides it UNCONSCIOUS back to the batcave. i can't with him. poor alfred. anyways, he deals with two-face, always a good time. and then at the end, as a treat, he cries because bruce is dead. so fun!! what was my caveat here? oh yeah, he has a girlfriend. i don't remember her name, she serves like...very little purpose, the whole relationship is very minor/background okay, but like it was so unnecessary. he can be single, dc, it's okay.

for post re-boot, just read tom taylor's run!! it's the best thing ever!! zero complaints!!

HA. yeah, just kidding. that run is very like/frustrate for me lol. oh man i'm struggling here. it's not all bad okay, i'm just really picky, and i haven't re-read any nightwing n52 and onwards since my first foray into comics (8 months ago) so my memories of these are the foggiest and i'm not sure how i feel about all of it in light of what i've read now. yk what, i'm just going to...not rec anything. sorry!!

JASON TODD

his comics either go so hard or they're absolute ass, why is there no in between. istg, i can't figure out why writers struggle with him so much?? well. i mean, i do have theories. but you didn't ask for those!

pre-boot:

detective comics #569-574. robin!jason in the hands of writers who like him is so much fun. which, don't get me wrong, i don't flat-out hate how starlin writes him, but i think you get a more well-rounded view of jason as robin when you also see him in 'tec. jason and bruce tangle with the joker, scarecrow, + mad hatter, and all of those adventures are...idk if they were intentional foreshadowing okay, but reading those and knowing where the story goes? oof. especialllllly #574. caveat: #572 is pretty light on jason, but he is great when he's on panel!

reboot:

probably a very basic answer but rhato rebirth (2016) #1-13, annual #1. i abhorred n52 rhato so i almost skipped rhato rebirth since it was still written by lobdell, but i'm really glad i didn't. i really enjoy jason's relationship with bizarro + artemis, but especially with bizarro because i think jason struggles a lot with feeling like a doomed creation, so yk, parallels. i want to say more but i know i'll get too wrapped up in discussing jason so i'm just going to stop myself.

i actually really enjoyed task force z, too. i think about tfz #8 so much, jason is such a manipulative little shit and i love it. he's so- i can't. i can't get into this rn, it deserves its own post(s).

overall for jay, i need people to read something other than utrh/lost days/b:ul 1-6. i love those, i do, but they aren't the only good pieces of jason content!!

TIM DRAKE

MY BELOVED!!!!!!!!!! in my heart of hearts, i just want to rec his whole robin run lmao. dick was my intro, okay, he is why i decided to start reading comics, but tim, specifically his robin solo is why i'm still reading comics. hooked me fr. and young justice 1998, ugh love. but it has been a minute since i read these as well, so hmm. okay okay okay

pre-boot:

batman: prodigal. short version, tim is robin to dick's batman. super fun. there's a solid amount of dick and bruce angsting too, which, love. tim is honestly just thrilled that jpv is out of the batsuit and even happier to working with dick. very cute.

robin #46. listen. they're all superheroes okay, they all feel pressure to save people. but tim...losses get to him. the amount of times that he gets shoved to a breaking point and then...gets back up. keeps going. *screams*. anyways!! this is not tim getting back up, okay? this is him being shoved way, way down. it's so good.

teen titans 2003 #20. tim's dad has died. he shows up for his weekend at the tower anyways. he is not okay. that's it, that's the pitch. i did not like...mmm at least 80% of this run okay, but a few of the issues HIT and this was one imo.

reboot:

*deep sigh*. look. tim is not tim for like basically all of n52, although there are moments here and there were he feels like himself. i did not like his 2023 solo, the best parts of young justice 2019 imo are the character designs, (except for his drake costume, what was that omg), and i haven't read any rebirth batman/'tec yet. except for zdarsky's run. which. tim is good there! but yeah, not really a whole lot of material to work with + very limited reading experience atm.

DAMIAN WAYNE

god, i love this kid. nature vs. nurture fascinates me, and so much of his story digs into that on top of trying to figure out who he is apart from all of that. i will say, i'm not a huge talia fan and by that i mean, i have no idea who she is "supposed" to be, like i have no frame of reference for that atm, so if you are a huge talia fan these recs might not hit for you because from what i've observed from her fans she is not well portrayed a whole lot since becoming his mother? i think one of the things that is normal is dick absolutely disliking her though, which cracks me up. there's this older batman story (batman #322-335) where bruce works with talia and dick goes running to selina and i was so entertained. what were we talking about? oh! damian!

preboot:

batman and robin 2009 #10-12. damian is struggling, with a lot of things. the fact that bruce might be alive, what that means for him and dick, and his mother's puppeteering. there's this line that kills me: "can't you just love me for who i am? not what you want me to be?" and the thing that gets me, is the use of who vs. what. because he could have said, "not who you want me to be", but he doesn't

reboot:

batman: shadow war. this is post-alfred's death, and honestly, most damian stuff post city of bane is pretty juicy, but there's this specific moment in shadow war: alpha #1 that had me speechless. just like 😧 i love bruce, but that man has some of the most chronic foot-in-mouth disease. oh but fair warning, for whatever reason they don't draw dami's mask connecting?? it's so- it drives me nuts.

JUST FOR FUN

these are just two issues that i enjoy for the brother content!

nightwing 1996 #25. dick and tim's relationship makes me ILL. *ahem*. this issue is mostly just super cute and fun, (there's like 0.2 seconds of angst when tim asks dick if he ever thinks about jason 😭) and i adore it sm. fun fact, it's actually one of the first comics i ever bought!

batman 2016 #16. unfortunately, tim is not here for this, but duke is! jason and damian's interactions in the background of bruce's Very Serious Speech are excellent. bruce is so dramatic and his kids are so unserious.

what i've most enjoyed

i've enjoyed the majority of what i've read, even titles/events i wasn't particularly looking forward to but had on my tbr for whichever character. i'm going to break down most enjoyed into two catergories, arcs that i loved top to bottom and then the guilty pleasures. this is not an exhaustive list, just what immediately came to mind.

top to bottom

bruce wayne: murderer?/fugitive. shocker, ik. but it's just, it's just so frickin good. i've said before, and i'll say it again, gotham war could NEVER. this right here is peak batfamily drama. the tension? the mystery? the angst? i knew nothing going into this okay, and truth be told, when i started it i was like "oh joy. another event." because i was just trying to read the 1996 nightwing run, but i'd committed to reading in full all the events it crossed over with. but i was invested so quickly. and like, i loved how the narrative supported the possibility that bruce was the murderer, because like, you know there's no way, but the more that comes out the more damning it is, and so you're like really dying to know what actually happened and i feel like the reveal was satisfying.

batman: city of bane. i'm going to cautiously put this here, because there might have been something i didn't like but i cannot recall it for the life of me right now. something about me is i love when the heroes lose. infinity war, empire strikes back? love. and ik bruce takes back gotham, but they lose alfred, okay, they lost. i also didn't expect to like this arc, i decided to read it because i wanted to know how alfred died. and first of all, i was shocked, even though i knew it was coming because i expected it to like happen towards the end. but nope. just *snap*. and then later when bruce is back in the manor and is confronted with alfred's body and his good-bye message? oh. my. god. i was bawling. despite my penchant for sad narratives, i don't tend to cry that much, but this got to me so bad. like i had to pause because i couldn't see. amazing.

red robin. his cowl is so ugly, but i really do love the run. i see a lot of discourse about it and also a lot of...interesting fanfic takes, so i don't really talk about it a lot here because it feels like most people are kind of tired of hearing about this run, which fair. i really enjoyed it as a sequel to his solo robin run. tbh, i almost put this in the guilty pleasure catergory, because there are a couple things i don't totally love, but like if the others are 10/10, this is 9/10.

young justice 1998. i love this comic so, so much. i don't even know what to say, i get so overwhelmed with joy when i think about this comic. nothing has hit the same way with this group since either, which is a crime. i need a title with this team so badly.

guilty pleasures

these are all runs/events i know some/most? people cannot stand and i totally get why, and i have problems with them, so i'm probably never going to rec them in good conscience but also like i can't lie and say i don't like them. these are not recs, okay? okay.

robin war. is it a hot mess? yes. but there is not a whole lot of canon content out there with all the boys working together, okay? so much of that event had me banging my head into a wall, but for me, there were a handful of pearls in there. i mean honestly, if i listed out pros and cons the cons list would be way longer but those pros are very precious to me.

batman and robin: eternal. very similar reasoning overall to robin war. plus cass finally came back!! i missed her. i love robin!dick and batman content, and the kids working together. this is probably my least favorite guilty pleasure though, okay, it's on thin ice.

grayson. listen, i love janin's art sm. i'm pretty neutral about spy stuff, so like i don't engage with it a whole lot. meaning, although i've heard it's tropey af in regards to the genre, i'm not familiar enough with the genre to be like trying to dig my eyeballs out with blunt spoons at the cliche of it all. the constant sexualization of dick got old super fast, and her name may have been helena but she wasn't- my list of dislikes is lengthy. but idk, i had fun with it. and imo it does have some genuinely great moments, i love dick in the desert with the baby, the ache i felt when dick wanted to come home and couldn't get ahold of bruce, issue #12 stabs me in the heart- the dick and dami reunion? stoppppp. i feel like this run and the ric grayson era are dick's most out there lmao

so yeah!! thank you so much for this ask, i had sm fun answering it. if you have any recs for me, feel free to drop them :)

[hypewinter]

Ok Tim next: Now due to his upbringing, Timbo is an insecure little nugget. This leads him to surrounding himself with a less than ideal lot who basically just treat him as entertainment. There's a problem with this arrangement though. Tim is absolutely boring. Either he doesn't realize they're insulting him with backhanded compliments or he doesn't care. Plus it's not like they need his money or anything since all their parents are rich socialites too. This leads to Tim's "friends" slowly distancing themselves from him. Desperate to get them back, Tim unleashes his last trump card: he knows the secret identity of Batman and his gang.

Naturally the friends don't believe him because why would this tiny nerd know one of the most coveted secrets of Gotham? So Tim sets out to gather proof. He snaps pictures of the Waynes both in and out of uniform to prove that they really are the same people. This leads to him getting caught up in a rogue attack where he gets injured. Duke notices an injured civilian crawling into an alleyway and immediately goes over to help only to recognize the civilian as not only Tim Drake, the only son of the Drake family but also as the unknown nonthreatening presence that's been loosely following him and the others for the past few days. When Tim wakes up in the hospital with the Wayne children surrounding him, he thinks he's been caught and proceeds to babble out everything. As if that wasn't already concerning enough, Bruce can't get ahold of the Drake parents and even when he eventually does, they insist on finishing their dig site first... while their child is in the hospital. As you can imagine CPS is promptly called and before Tim can blink, he's now the Wayne family's new ward. Additionally seeing no reason to hide their identities, the Waynes let Tim into that Batcave whenever he wants (this leads to him helping out behind the scenes with Alfred).

As for Steph: Similar to Duke I'm not really changing much as her story takes place outside of the batfam. She ends up meeting Tim outside of school and they become friends. After noticing the tale tell signs of her being a vigilante as well as the others complaining about someone new running around Gotham, Tim puts two and two together and invites Steph to meet the family.

Alright who's next? Ah yes Jason: Bruce has met this tiny ball of rage multiple times as he often visits Jason's school for charity events. He immediately clocks Jason as not having a great home life and decides to keep an eye on him. Which is why Bruce is one of the first to know when Jason stops coming to school one day. He's also the one who pressures CPS to do a wellness check at the boy's home where they find no one. The address on file for Jason Todd is an old ratty apartment that has long since been empty and cold.

Bruce panics and immediately puts everyone on the look out for the kid. They're checking alleys, they're checking shelters, heck some of them even check the sewers (you never know). But Jason is nowhere to be found. After another night of fruitless endeavors Bruce tiredly makes his way back to the batmobile. It is only then that he notices in his desperate search for Jason that he parked in the one place in Gotham he avoided like the plague, Crime Alley. It is also in this place Bruce vowed never to near, that he sees Jason, trying to break into the batmobile. He almost cries with relief. Instead he carefully approaches the boy. It takes a long time (and a lot of bribes) to convince Jason to come with him to the police station. It takes significantly less time to get emergency custody of him. And it takes somewhere in the middle for Jason to warm up to the Wayne family. (While he does warm up to them, he does remain a little suspicious. Suspicious enough to find a clock in the study that leads to the batcave. This leads Jason to using practically every threat in the book to get himself added to the roster)

Part 1 Part 3

[sadlybeans]

good morning i say even though it’s nearly five pm ladies and gentlethem, today i bring you…

✨Damian Wayne’s quirks with physical affection✨

(sorted by how he reacts with each family member)

Bruce: Damian looks up to his father a lot, but they clash because they’re too alike so they’re not overly affectionate. Still, whenever they’re not being jerks to each other he will accept hugs or a kiss in the top of the head.

Alfred: they both keep a very ‘formal’ and polite relationship. People normally assume Damian doesn’t show affection to him but the trick is that he does it when nobody else is watching. That’s his grandfather, ofc he’ll hug him anytime he wants.

Dick: Now, the thing with Dick is that Damian has given up on stopping him, so even though he rarely hugs back, he will no longer try to stab Dick when he grabs him without warning, he just sort of hangs from his arms like a pissed little kitten. He will only hug back if he’s in a particularly good mood, or if he notices Dick is sad. (Dick has also, somehow, managed to smooch his cheeks a couple of times).

Tim: physical touch between these two is throwing hands. Sure, Damian doesn’t really like being touched too much and he certainly dislikes Tim the most, but I personally think he keeps his distance because he knows Tim doesn’t like him.

Duke: Damian certainly tolerates him the most out of all his brothers, but they’re not the type to hug or anything. They do have a secret handshake though, and Duke helps him get to the higher shelves by getting on his shoulders. (And by secret I mean secret. It’s important nobody else knows Damian does something of the sort).

Cass: Cass is the one person in the house who has always been able to go up to Damian, hug him, and be hugged in return. Like seriously, always.

Steph: She’s never really dared hug Damian, but he’s never denied her a fist-bump or a high-five.

Jason: ok I left the best for last. Now, everyone immediately assumed they would get along like a house on fire and to an extent, it’s true. BUT!! As much as Jason is purposefully annoying and always stirring drama around the house, Damian rarely gets truly mad, for everyone’s confusion. He’s at most, mildly fussy when Jason ruffles his hair or picks him up like a sack of potatoes. And then, it happens: maybe one day something really exhausting happens, maybe one day Damian’s having a really bad day because of Talia-related drama, and not even Dick has been spared from his pissy behaviour. Enter Jason: he picks him up, and Damian… lets him. No fuss, no protest, just hugs Jason’s neck and that’s that.

(And yes, no matter how much Dick whines and cries, Jason’s the only person in the house -or maybe the entire world- allowed to carry Damian on his hip)

[thisiswhereikeepdcthings]

Each of Jason's hellspawn have their own favorite relative (aside from dad, obviously. Jason is their dad, they love him, and they will not leave him alone for five minutes)

Nadiah is a grandpa's girl. She gladly stays in Bruce's arms for hours whenever he babysits, and has learned how to mimic his Batglare around people she doesn't like. She has figured out the best way to wheedle whatever she wants out of him, whether that be more ice cream or a new dress, or when she's a bit older, combat training. She gladly listens to his stories about his adventures, and is a perfect angel whenever a newspaper wants to interview her grandpa about his growing family, smiling serenely and answering questions with all the poise and dignity of a young Wayne.

Darius likes his Aunt Cass the best. She's quiet and kind and seems to understand when he needs his space and when he needs a hug. He loves to watch her dance, and begged Dad to let him try ballet so that he could move like Auntie did. He doesn't judge her for her stilted speaking habits, and she doesn’t pity him for his trauma regarding his mother.

Katina will only let a few people hold her- her Dad, her siblings, and Great-Grandpa. She loves to tug on Alfred's lapels and pull on his tie, and will slobber all over his suit. Her first word was "Afa". One time Alfred had to hand her off to one of the Batkids for a few minutes, and she screamed and cried so loud that the animals of the Batfam were sent running.

The twins each have their own favorite. Darshan favors Aunt Steph, who lets him tag along on all her adventures and who lets him stay up past his bedtime. Karan, meanwhile, is more fond of Uncle Tim, who doesn't treat him like a baby and will ask for his input on things. Whenever Steph and Tim are asked to babysit it quickly turns into Mischief Time, as the twins rope their respective adults into shenanigans and their siblings Help.

Xinyi gravitates towards Uncle Duke. She appreciates his unique way of seeing things, as well as the fact that he's an early bird like she is. He'll take her up to the highest places in Gotham and just let her watch, the two of them looking down on the people below and making up wild stories about who they must be and what they're like. She admires him for his courage in joining the We Are Robin movement, and has told him she wants to be just like him when she gets older (to Jason's horror).

Alon loves his Uncle Dick. No one, including Dick, can figure out why, since they're so different in terms of personality. Dick is the only person that Alon will seek physical affection from, rather than just passively accepting it. He will follow his Uncle around like a little duckling, copying him at every turn and watching his every movement.

Emma is closest with her Uncle Damian. The two are only a year apart in terms of age, and treat each other more like distant cousins than uncle and niece. Emma doesn't judge him for his violent tendencies- after all, who is she to judge? One time a passerby said that they made such a cute couple, and Red Hood swooping in was the only thing stopping the two of them from doing a murder.

This is adorable. Can I get like 12 fics of this?

[pentrologram]

my ideal batfam hcs but i suck at hcs :3

Dick

he’s fifteen, the eldest kid in the batfamily

his parents died when he was 8 and a half, 

the half is important because i’ve always thought of Dick being a sassy child. like if asked what his name is he will CONFIDENTLY say ‘it’s *Richard*. R-I-C-H-A-R-D. but my parents call me Dick :D’

so therefore if asked his age, if he thinks it relevant, he’ll tack on an ‘and a half!’ to the end of it or ask his parents for a more precise fraction.

“how long until my birthday, dad?”

“five months.”

“…can you put that into the halves-thingy, please?”

that was when he was younger, of course. he’s old enough to put it into fractions himself now

being a entertainer and all he’s got to be charismatic but a lot of it is natural for him.

adults find his quips endearing and his habits loveable

adored all around!!

he brought Barbara home once and Bruce was freaking out to you because that’s his (the Batman’s) best friend’s daughter!!! 

he was very nice to her and Dick seemed happy that neither of you made any offhand comments about her

that was three years ago. they’re still going strong

Kate

I’ll be real, i don’t know much about her

most of this is probably ooc…

she’s fourteen, younger than Dick by I think seven months?

i think you and Bruce would have adopted her when she was older than Dick, like eleven or so

she’s really chill

she balances out Dick’s louder side, and she’s a good listener when Dick wants to talk

i hc her as autistic here but maybe im projecting

she doesn’t directly interact with a lot of family events and just watches from the sidelines because she’ll get stressed out if thrown into them

i also think she loves witchy things. but not for the witchy pagan side of it. just because the crystals are shiny and the jewelry is cool

(me projecting)

i think she’s like the super cool super hot lesbian at school. like she skates to school and listens to paramore and tv girl and knows a lot about bugs (not enough to be seen as a nerd, but enough to be cool)

Bruce takes her to get her hair dyed and to trim up her fuzz? buzz cut side? every month

it’s like a daddy daughter bonding moment. they get ice cream before and then watch a movie after

Bruce has defo invited you but you declined, because it’s their special time! you don’t get that a lot in a family of ten

Steph

another girly I don’t know a lot about…

probably ooc too :(

i think you and Bruce adopt her when she’s also eleven and she’s currently twelve. so in some ways she’s still settling in

I think she has her fair share of behavioural issues for a kid her age, but not to the point where her future seems worrying

just enough to warrant behavioral therapy 

which she loves btw. her therapist has hotwheels and its the BEST

(her words, not mine)

she’s calmed down a ton and her therapist seems impressed with her progress

like, she doesn’t throw tantrums anymore, she doesn’t hit, she doesn’t say words she knows she isn’t supposed to (much) and she gets along a lot better with her siblings

i hc her with adhd

i also think she really likes sharks

she has a shark tooth necklace she found on the Gotham beach (how? you’ll never know)

Cass

Cassie is ten, adopted at eight

she’s autistic and she has selective mutism

shes not mute. she can hold a conversation within the family just fine at home but she just can't talk a lot of the time outside the house :(

she loves being babied

like she adores cuddles and hugs and she’s pretty clingy

like when she started second grade she cried because she didn’t want you to leave you alone :(

she's going to therapy and she got diagnosed with selective mutism and separation anxiety, but she’s doing better and rarely ever gets upset over her anxiety

we're still working on the selective mutism tho

Jason

he’s also ten (he’s four months younger than Cass and HATES it) but got adopted when he was four

he’s also a grade below cass since he was born on the cut. he’s really salty about it and hates whenever someone teases him about it

this is the curly haired, big smiled little baby boo boo that a bunch of people voted to kill a few decades ago

he's sweet and charming with strangers but easily riled up at home

always down for a fight, though he’s easy to fling like a bag of rice (which Dick LOVES doing)

he has small dog syndrome when he gets too much sugar in his system. 

also he plays CoD on Dick’s ps5

he sucks at it and calls everyone all the curse words he knows

(damn, crap, and ‘The F-One’)

Dick records it and posts it on his private story

Tim

he got adopted at five and is nine years old now

if asked, he says ‘i’m nine years, seven months, two weeks and three days old. and seventeen hours, fourteen minutes, thirty-two seconds and counting 🤓'

and he’s ALWAYS right to the dot

like what...

basically young sheldon (i’ve never watched the show, this is all from speculation and what my friends have told me about it)

he’s sleep deprived

no matter what you do… melentonin, reduced lights, less sugar, less screen time, reading to him, white noise… it never works. he’s perpetually tired

(in reality it’s a flashlight he keeps hidden in his bedroom drawer and a good book from his bookshelf that keep him up but he’ll never admit that)

he has a reading/writing level of a senior in high school at nine years old because of all the books he reads

Bruce is SO proud of him

he’s already planning for tim’s college career

Duke

he’s eight and just got adopted

he’s everyone’s baby brother despite Damian being the youngest

he still has a baby face too!!!

Dick loves taking silly photos of him or letting him play games on his pc

Tim and Duke share a room because Duke’s afraid of the dark and he doesn’t like sleeping alone

it’s a win win for the both of them since Tim reads Duke to sleep when he can’t fall asleep and Duke lies to their parents if they ask what Tim was doing all night

(‘Duke, what was Tim doing last night? I heard him shuffling…’

‘he was asleep, dad! he just had to get some water. he woke me up on accident.’)

cue cartoony wink to the camera 

Daimain

Talia abandoned him to the two of you when he was three

he didn’t fully grow into the role of an assassin, but it still happened

he’s six now and his upbringing is apparent 

he’s blunt and cold (not unlike his father) and sneers easily

let me repeat: he is SIX

he roasts everyone in the house like there’s no tomorrow 

indecisive about an outfit? just ask him

if he uses more than three bad describing words, it’s best if you change

under three means its good

none means he likes it

Bruce always gets a kick out of seeing everyone get stunned to silence by a sharp-tongued six year old until that tongue is turned on him

i swear he just sits there like 😲while damian is telling him that his shoes are creased, his hair is filthy, and that he has no self respect

(dick records all of these encounters, but you have him under oath to not post them under ANY circumstances)

[starspatter]

Heroes and Thieves, Ch. 24

Title: Heroes and Thieves Fandom/Universe: BTAS, pre/post-RotJ flashback

Summary: A story about second chances, healing, and having hope.

Rating: PG-13, for references to character death, child psychological torture and trauma.

Genre: Romance/Family/Friendship/Hurt/Comfort

Word Count: 3,040 Previous Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23

Also on ff.net and AO3.

For the nights I won't make it through, I spend beside you, while holding onto your hand Telling me I will and I can, I pray every night that days like this will never end Painting colors vivid and bright I see every time I go ahead and close my eyes Just what should I do so everything remains the same?

-Kenshi Yonezu, "Eine Kleine"

————————–

Now.

Tim was bored.

The heat of midsummer had settled in, and things had gone back to… well, as “normal” as things could be for them, considering.  It had been a few months since Steph found out.  Since he’d said all those things to Bruce and walked away, never hearing from him since.  …Since he’d proposed.

Tim rolled over on the bed and buried his visage in a pillow in embarrassment, still hardly able to believe he let such a thing slip from his lips.  There was no taking it back now though, as Steph was keen on constantly reminding him in confidence, whenever they were alone.  …Still, they managed to keep up the appearance of “regular students” on the surface at least.  They – all four of them – made it through the rest of the semester, survived finals; even Steph and Conner successfully scraped by without requiring remedial lessons, thanks to intense tutoring combined with cramming in the last couple weeks.

The latter was now living with Cass in their own place, so that left Tim moving back to the loft by himself until fall.  Dick had warmly welcomed his brother back, saying his room was always available anytime he needed to crash, but Tim still couldn’t help but feel like he was intruding.  With little else to do to kill time during the dull season’s doldrums, he found most of his days were now spent looking (desperately) forward to a phone call or text message, inviting him to hang somewhere, or even simply just to talk.

…

He wanted to see Steph.

She had replied to him this morning though stating she was “busy” today, apologizing complete with cute emoticons.  …Or so he thought, but right at that moment his mobile buzzed again, and he greedily grabbed the device, scanning the screen for updates.  Apparently her plans had freed up for the afternoon, and she was wondering if he’d like to come over now.  Fist pumping, he fired back a rapid response, before dashing for the door – nearly bumping into his brother on the way out.

“Whoa, where are you off to in such a hurry?”

“Just over to Steph’s house.”

“…Ah.”  Dick regarded him with an odd look for an interval.

“Something wrong?”

“Nothing, it’s just…  I wanted to say…”  Dick massaged his neck, before sighing.  “Nevermind.  It can wait.  Go, have fun on your date.”

Tim cocked his head in mystification, but nevertheless acquiesced.

“Okay…  See ya.”

“See ya.”

He cast one more curious look back as he descended the steps, and Dick simply smiled and waved.  …It might have been his imagination though, but the other’s expression seemed just a tad strained.

…

When he arrived and rang the doorbell, Stephanie’s mother was the one who answered.  Tim shuffled in the entryway as he greeted nervously, still self-conscious around her presence.

“Ah… Hi, Mrs. Brown.  Steph called and asked me to come over.”

“Of course, dear.”  The woman beamed as she stepped aside to allow him in.  “It’s always nice to have you here.  She’s right this way, in the kitchen.”

She led him towards the unit, which was strangely dark for some reason.  As soon as he entered the room though, the lights suddenly switched on, and three voices (well, more like two shouts and one mental whisper) all cried out in unison:

“Surprise!”

Tim blinked as he took in the image of Steph, Conner, and Cass all crowded around the table, where a large cake was laid out, confetti and streamers simultaneously raining from the ceiling onto his shoulders.

“What’s… all this?”

Stephanie bounded up to him, brushing colorful strands off his hair before planting a peck on his forehead (since she was already standing on tiptoe).

“Silly, don’t you know what today is?  Don’t tell me you forgot.”

Tim ran hastily over a list of important dates in his mind, trying to figure out what she could possibly be referring to.  It couldn’t be something related to their relationship, could it?  They hadn’t even been officially “dating” a full year yet, and besides why were Cass and Conner here then…?  It had to be something personal, something specific…

…Then it struck him.

July 19th.

His Birthday.

“Conner told me when your Birthday is.  You’re not… mad, are you?”

She gripped his hand, a little worriedly – and he glanced towards Kon, who was also anxiously awaiting a reaction.  He grasped back in reassurance.

“No, I’m not mad.  Thank you, for doing all this for me.”

Relieved, she steered him to a seat and gestured eagerly towards the candles.

“Come on now, make a wish.”

Tim thought about it for a bit.  …There were a lot of things he might’ve wished for, once.  But, gazing around at the smiling faces of his friends – people who cared about him – accepted him despite everything…  He realized that the thing he had dreamed of most since then had already come true.

…

Later, as Stephanie was serving slices and chatting up a storm, she casually turned her concentration to Conner as well.

“By the way, when’s your Birthday?”

Both boys stiffened, eyeing each other and the single elder in the room surreptitiously.  Although the revelation of Tim’s past had made it easier for the others to come forward with their secrets, Steph’s mother was the only one not in the know now.  Still, Stephanie’s question stood sincerely.  As far as her mom was concerned, all three of her daughter’s college-mates just so happened to be orphans from a young age, and she would ensure they each received proper loving attention and care while in her home.

“I… don’t actually know.”

Conner admitted, poking at the frosting with his fork, and both hosts’ hearts broke a little bit.

“You mean you’ve never even had a Birthday party?”

She shot a sharp glare towards Tim, who shrank into his chair.  Sympathy for his “circumstances” had run out by this point it seemed – at least when it came to ignoring others’ needs as a result.

“It’s okay, really.”  Conner hurriedly leapt to his pal’s defense.  “It’s not a big deal.”

“It is a big deal.”  She clenched her fist determinedly.  “We’ll just need to pick a date to celebrate then.”

“March 21st.”

Cassandra spoke up softly all of a sudden.  All four stared at her in surprise.

“Eh?  But that’s already passed!”

Cass fixated firmly on Conner though, and so Steph nodded.

“March 21st it is then.  We’ll just have to have a belated celebration.”  She enthused with a grin, growing more and more excited as she already began scheming, rubbing her hands together gleefully.  “And make it a big one.”

…

After the festivities died down and Cass and Conner had politely taken their leave for the evening – in order to give the pair of “lovebirds” some privacy – Steph ironically had to search the house for said lover/Birthday Boy, who had somehow managed to disappear during the farewells.  Scratching her skull in puzzlement, an idea eventually occurred to her, and she headed up to her bedroom, waltzing over to the open window and poking her head out.

“There you are.  Thought I might find you up here.”

She exclaimed upon twisting around to spot a familiar shadow crouched overhead.

“Guess you can’t keep a Robin off the roofs after all,” he shrugged.

“Or him from ninja-vanishing all of a sudden,” she rolled her irises, climbing out to come join him.  “Didn’t know ‘hide-and-seek’ was on the games roster for entertainment tonight.”

“I wasn’t… hiding,” he sulked, scooching aside to provide her space.  “I was just… remembering something.”

She scanned his hunched form, reaching out for his hand as she gently laid a palm on top, imbricating digits like the tiles beneath.

“Sorry.  Was it too much?”

“No, it’s not that.  Everything was great.  I really appreciate it.  It’s just…”  He exhaled, examining the stars above, half-envisioning witnessing a bat-shaped silhouette against the moon’s bright backdrop.  “Getting to wear the suit – officially – and go out on patrol for the first time was the first Birthday present Bruce ever gave me.  …The best, most awesome gift in the world, I thought.”

Her spirit sank again as she squeezed his fingers, and he shared the grip.

“For the longest time,” he continued spitefully, “I hated the fact I was even born.  I never even wanted to think about it anymore.  I mean, why the hell did God – or whoever – put me on this earth, just to take everything I ever loved away from me?  Hurt everyone I’ve come in contact with?  First my mom, then Dad, then the very thing I had worked so hard to achieve…”

His gorge corked with a wounded choke, capping speech.  Vision lowering, he rotated slowly towards Steph, who was watching him with wide, wet pupils, overflowing with compassion and concern.  At length, he managed a comforting smile.

“But, for the first time since then – I’m glad I was born.  …Because I got to meet you.”

She beamed back, and flung her arms around him in an abrupt embrace, nearly knocking him off-balance just like a certain someone did all those years ago.

“Hey, careful!  Or we’ll both fall.”

“Please.  It’s not like we can fall any further than we already have, right?  That means things can only start looking up from now on.”  (…And besides, if they did fall, at least they’d fall together.)

Tim couldn’t help but chuckle mildly, reciprocating the gesture.

“Man, where do you get all that optimism from?”

“Definitely not my father,” she retorted, snorting.  “I only inherited his hair.”

She leaned those golden locks against his breast, closing her eyes as she listened to his heartrate, confirming that there was, indeed, a life still beating inside there.  A life she promised to treasure from now on, honor and protect no matter what – even if the rest of the world had forsaken it.  A life that deserved to live.  …And to love.

“By the way, that reminds me – I still haven’t given you your Birthday kiss yet.”

“Eh?”

She grinned, and clutched his T-shirt collar, pulling him down into a powerful, passionate kiss – nearly a minute long.  At first he seemed to awkwardly ache to avert away as usual, but after the first thirty seconds his brain just went totally blank as he stopped flailing and let her keep going, melting into her mouth.  She smirked inwardly in satisfaction, aware this could probably be considered more of an assau- er, “present” to herself; a “reward” for all her patience.  Knowing he’d never actually take this kind of forward initiative on his own unless she prompted him.

As they separated at last, Tim gaped at her in marvel, still reeling.

“Holy cow.”

“Some present?”

Perhaps she couldn’t compete with costumes and crimebusting, but she did take pride in being able to render him speechless at least.

“I, uh- wow.”

Stephanie giggled as she jabbed a teasing poke at his chest.

“Congrats, you’re a real man now.  Which means you’ll take responsibility, right?”

“Yeah…  Wait, what just happened?”

Steph could hardly suppress her snickers as it seemed her poor “prey” had lost all capacity for reason – in essence mentally regressing to a shutdown state, even though he was supposed to be a fully trained “detective”.  …Her laughter faded though as a vision of said “victim” – mute and confused – crossed her consciousness, and a gnawing sense of guilt for letting her selfish impulse run rampant overtook her conscience instead.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to force you…  I’m not trying to put pressure on you or anything…”

Detecting her regret, Tim shook his head.

“No, no, it’s okay.  I don’t mind.  I… like that spontaneous side of you.  Besides,” he scratched his scruff sheepishly, recalling his own rash declaration of devotion, “…We’ve been doing this all out of order anyway.  And, to be honest, I’m kinda relieved you took the next step.  I know you’ve been trying to be considerate, but… You don’t always have to hold yourself back around me either.  I told you, I’m not a kid – so you don’t have to keep treating me like one.”

She relaxed as he clasped her wrist consolingly, standing up with a wink.

“Even so, I doubt my mother would approve of us staying up here and making out all night.  Come on then, Boy- sorry, Man Virgin, let’s get back inside.  Before Mom sees us together up here and throws a fit.”

…

When Tim returned to the loft, he could hear the T.V. on upstairs.  Checking his watch, he was rather impressed that his brother wasn’t already out at some bar right now.  Tiptoeing up to the higher level, Dick swiftly swiveled around upon perceiving his passage, shutting off the box before his lil bro could see.

“Oh hey, you’re back.  Didn’t hear you come in, you’re getting pretty good at that stealth thing again.  Have you been practicing?” he babbled, clicking his teeth in commendation, but seeming extremely tense for some reason.

A shrug.  “Just a bit, I guess.”

“So, uh, how was the party?”

Tim startled.  “You knew about it?”

“Conner called and told me beforehand,” he confessed, “just in case anything went… unexpected.”

It was then that Tim noted the number of alcohol canisters on the table…  Yet none of them seemed actually opened.  The keys to the cycle were also laid out beside them, and Dick’s eye flicked towards the target of Tim’s sight, attempting not-so-subtly to retrieve and replace them back in his pocket.

“…You could’ve come too, you know.”

“Nah, figured you’d probably want to spend it with your friends.  …I got you something though.”  He fished for a small, square package, thinly wrapped.  “I know you don’t usually like to celebrate, but I figured it’s as good an opportunity as any to give you this.  …Happy Birthday, Tim.”

Tim bewildered as Dick handed him the packet, and he tore it open cautiously to reveal a CD case – the very same one he had broken back in autumn.

“This is…  How did you find this?  I looked everywhere online to try and get you another, but they were all out of printed stock, and no one else was selling it – not even in digital format for download…  Plus, you should be the one to have this…”

“I have my resources,” Dick murmured mysteriously.  “Anyway, don’t even try to give it back to me.  Keep it, it’s yours.”

Tim swallowed, but gratefully received the gift.

“Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it.  What are big brothers for?  Although…”  Dick’s tenor lessened a little.  “I guess you don’t really need me to look after you anymore.  I mean, you’re practically an adult now.  With a fiancé and everything.”

Tim blushed as his inescapable humiliation was once again brought up.  He was never going to live this one down, was he?

“Look, that was just something I blurted out in the heat of the moment.  You don’t… need to take it too seriously.”

“Are you kidding, you two are gonna make a great husband and wife couple.”  Grayson gleamed, goadingly nudging an elbow into rather conveniently located ribs.  “You’ll get married, move out, and have a bunch of adorable ickle egghead kiddies so their Unkie Dick can spoil them rotten.”

“Oh my God, stop.”

Tim’s complexion flushed a full tomato tone as he punched insistently at Dick’s shoulder.  The older male kept sniggering despite the pain though, and as revenge, Tim snatched the remote from the sofa.  Dick’s eye enlarged in alarm as he endeavored to wrest it back, but Tim triumphantly held it out of his range, possessing the current high ground advantage.

“So what were you watching before I came in anyway?  I bet it was something really dirty…”

He mused mockingly as he turned on the tube again, aiming to find out just what the guy had been hiding – figuring it was probably porn or some shit.

The footage that flickered on wasn’t what he anticipated though – it was an old, black and white film.  A young man and woman were singing together (horribly out-of-tune) amidst hydrangea bushes, the latter dressed in what appeared to be some kind of bathrobe.

“What is it you want, Mary?  What do you want?  You want the moon?  Just say the word and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down.  Hey.  That's a pretty good idea.  I'll give you the moon, Mary.”

“…It’s a Wonderful Life?”  Tim raised an astonished eyebrow.  “In the middle of summer?”

“You’ve seen it?”

Dick rejoined, equally amazed.

“Bruce always made me watch it with him on Christmas.”

“…Did he really now.”

“Yeah.”

There was a beat of brief silence between them, as an old man on the monitor berated the boy for his woeful efforts at wooing.

“Why don't you kiss her instead of talking her to death?”

“Want me to kiss her, huh?”

“Ah, youth is wasted on the wrong people!”

Tim finally cleared his throat.

“…You mind if I join you?”

“You sure?”

Dick glimpsed uneasily at the monochrome motion picture.

“Yeah.  It’s fine.  …It’s a good flick.”

Tim came around the couch as Dick obligingly shifted over to offer a spot on the cushions.  He also picked up a can and passed it towards Tim.

“You… do realize I’m still underage, right?”

“Consider it an advance on your next couple Birthdays.”

Tim took it, and the two concurrently cracked open their drinks and downed a shot.  Dick looked down at the remaining liquid, swirling sullenly.

“You know, Christmas was kinda lonely this year.”

“You mean you didn’t bring some chick back to your place?”

“Nah.  Didn’t seem like the right mood.”

Tim studied him for an extensive interim.

“I hope you know…  No matter what, you can always think of the two of us as family.”

Dick’s lid batted once as he heard his own words echoed back at him, followed by a light thump on his backside.

“Us guys, we gotta stick together, right?”

Dick lifted, and radiated wryly as he ruffled his younger sibling’s scalp.

“Heh.  You really have grown up, haven’t you, huh?”

Tim smiled back, and hoisted his beverage, connecting to his comrade’s with a clink.

“Here’s to survival, old chum.”

————————–

In the moment I was born, I wouldn't stop screaming Saying that I wanted to fade away and disappear Ever since the day I stopped, I had always been searching, For the one I'd someday meet, For the you that has to leave With this endless pain in my heart, tearing me apart, but also you beside me Can't you see how happy I'd be? I'd smile and I'd say, "It was all for the best you see" As the world in front of me melts and fades away, I only have one thing to say: These miracles flooding me won't make it go away Because I can still hear your voice calling out my name

[alchemist-of-altoids]

Okay but imagine this:

They have three kids. A daughter, and then a twin boy and girl. I’ll say they’re about a year and half apart. They let the Batkids pick their middle names, so long as they all agree and the name isn’t a dumb joke. Of course they float around some stupid names, but they don’t go through with and of them. The eldest daughter is Annika Mary Kyle-Wayne, (after Selina’s friend (I’m pretty sure that she was made up for The Batman but I like it), and Dick’s mom) and the twins are named Thomas Jack Kyle-Wayne (After Thomas Wayne and Jack Drake) and Martha Catherine Kyle-Wayne. (After Thomas Wayne and Catherine Todd)

Now, naturally these kids would all have favorites. Besides Alfred, because he’s everyone’s favorite by default. (Dick called dibs on naming a kid after Alfred back when he was still 9 so Alfred wouldn’t let them name any of Bruce’s after him. Afterall, Master Grayson did indeed call dibs) But I imagine Annika’s favorites would be Dick, Damian, and Tim. She literally wants them all the time. She loves watching Dick flip around. She giggles at everything Damian does and absolutely ADORES his veritable menagerie. And s whenever she’s sleepy she wants Tim. She falls asleep on top of him and he can’t help but fall asleep too. Then the twins are born. Martha is a daddy’s girl in the same that Thomas is a mama’s boy. Martha loves her daddy, and her other two favorites are Jason and Cass. She loves dancing with Cass and watching her spin around so gracefully. Jason probably held her more than anyone else. Everytime he saw her he would just scoop her up and she LOVES it. Her first word was Jay. Meanwhile, Thomas basically clings to his mom nonstop. For that first month, pretty much the only other people who can hold him for more than 10 minutes without him crying are Steph, Duke, and Barbara. He quickly takes after Steph’s type of humor. From the moment he can walk Thomas is waddling around after Duke and he wants to be Signal for Halloween basically every year. This is not helped when they discover Thomas is a meta with powers VERY similar to Duke’s. And Barbara can get him to sleep like no one else. He seemed to have taken to insomnia early on, and he would just sit with Barbara and watch her work.

Don’t get me wrong, these people are human disasters and have no idea how to interact with babies. ESPECIALLY ones that are part of their family. Because literally none of them have ever had the experience of having a literal baby sibling. But these babies are getting all of them to take better care of themselves. Dick realizes that Annika has started bottling up her feelings and hiding injuries like him, so he stops doing that. Jason sees Martha start being rude to people for no reason, so he tries to find healthier ways to communicate. Tim can’t NOT fall asleep when Annika is on top of him and he sleeps through nights because of it. He’s pretty much only drinking coffee because he likes it now. He doesn’t even complain (too much) when they switch him over to decaf. Steph sees that Thomas starts to distance himself from everyone else, and realizes that she’s been acting like she wasn’t adopted into the family years ago and starts to mend that. Damian sees Annika playing with one of swords and realizes that maybe he needs to keep those locked up and start practicing more restraint. Everytime Bruce lies about his condition or gets too worked up or any of his other millions of bad habits Martha just cries until he stops doing it and holds her. Duke realizes that Thomas is doing the same thing he does, waking up at about five or six in the morning and then not going to sleep until one or two in the morning and realizes that he needs to stop doing double patrols. Duke also helps Thomas (and by extension himself) understand that just because he’s a meta, doesn’t make him any less part of the family. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, and using their power is only natural for them. Barbara takes way more breaks and gets away from screens WAY more often now that Thomas is always around. Selina and Alfred are so grateful to these babies for inspiring the Batfam to get healthier.

This didn’t even get into the INSANE skill kits these kids would have and not even realize were unusual to have. I’ll probably write that later bc that was actually the thought that sent me down this rabbit hole but it’s getting late and this is already long enough.

The BatKids when Selina’s had the baby are so confused. Like…. They have no idea what to do with a sibling this age. They’re used to them just…. Spawning fully formed one day. No introduction period, just bam, sibling number seven, eight, nine, whatever.

They’ve never had an introductory phase where the sibling isn’t able to run around in spandex already. How do they interact with them????? They’re scared they might break the baby.

Bruce and Selina just let them bumble through it because it’s adorable and also hilarious revenge for the weird shit the kids have done in the past.

[niphredil-14]

What Does the BatBoys' TikTok Look Like?

A/N: I now write for the batfamily as well. Mainly Bruce, Dick, Jason, and Tim, but I will attempt writing for Steph, Cass, and (AGED UP) Damian if anyone wants to see it.

*********************************************************

I am a firm believer that Dick's FYP consists mostly of comedy and true crime, though he would probably follow a few acrobat tiktokers as well. The comedy that he sees isn't very good, in fact it's just what you would expect from him, bad puns and dad jokes. What his FYP is absolutely filled to the brim with though? Nightwing thirst. Man's wantsbhis ego fed and who can blame him. Most of his posts are him doing flips and/or parkour, and him with his brothers, and popular trends. Though you cannot convince me that he doesn't post thirtstraps of his ass.

Jason is so far deep in booktok it's concerning. A huge fan of queen_astraea. He gets so many LARP videos too. He also gets a lot of red hood videos on his fyp, ironically enough. He gets so many "what your favorite (category) book says about you" tiktoks and gets so mad whenever they are completely inaccurate or too accurate. Isn't as active and doesn't post often, but when he does, it's to gaslight people into thinking that he never died and to argue over dumb things.

You'll mainly find superhero and vigilante fan edits on Tim's FYP, but there's also a good amount of conspiracy theories as well, which are mostly just for sending to Bernard. There's quite a bit of tech stuff, and that guy who 3D prints stuff and makes dark jokes. Tim is the most likely to be on mentally ill tiktok. Occasionally a latte art video shows up, or a science pun. Most of his time on tiktok is spent during his sparse free time, so he doesn't post often but when he does it's a meme, or candid Wayne family moments. He is the most likely to go viral other than Dick and Stephanie.

Though he's not active a lot, Damian's FYP is nearly all animals. Cute, sleeping kittens, those zookeepers petting giant animals, that one guy with the wolves, the German shepherd that does crazy tricks, and so much more. He follows Noodle the Pug's prophecies and believes them wholeheartedly. He almost cried when Potroast died. He cyberbullies anyone who says that pitbulls, rottweilers, and dobermans are inherently aggressive, bad dogs. He also gets a few videos of weaponry and art. He does post semi-frequently, but most of his videos are just of his pets, and of him shit-talking Tim.

[flashflashhundredyarddash]

batfam and the Cain Instinct

dick will fistfight jason no hesitation. jason says one (1) annoying thing and dick is ready to kick his ass

dick and tim will be totally chilling and then dick will just full strength punch tim out of nowhere tim hates it

cass kicked dick's ass when they first met BUT!! BUT!!! cass is still his little sister so he IS legally obligated to fight her so it's like playfights + randomly shooting cass with a nerf gun

EVERYTIME they are driving together dick will punch duke when he sees a buggy and duke doesn't understand because he feels like he's ALWAYS getting punched.

dick will kick damian's ass

steph will also kick damian's ass

steph and cass have cain instinct but it's very small so they fight over snacks.

jason's cain instinct is fucking literal eiowiewoe. THEE biblical jason

deliberately goads dick into getting annoyed and then as soon as dick gets close to him jason is always like BRUCE DICK IS PUNCHING ME and bruce is like you deserve it

jason had ONE drag out KNOCK OUT fight with cass and bruce banned them from fighting ever again so now they just do aggressive stareoffs

jason will jump tim anytime anywhere. tim is drinking a smoothie in the middle of a forever 21 while bart decides if he wants the pink sweater or the yellow sweater and then BAM body tackle into the clothing rack. everytime anyone questions them they're just like it's exposure therapy.

on the other hand, tim will ALSO jump jason anytime anywhere. he doesn't even stick to gotham. jason is in madrid for a case and when he gets to his hotel room, BAM 153 pounds of tim drake just starts whaling on him.

jason will just walk into dukes room and stand there for a moment and when duke is like what jason is like you're a fucking nerd and walks out. i am the eldest sibling so i have never been on the receiving end of this but i understand that it is psychologically devastating

jason walks back in five minutes later and is like oh yeah alfred wanted to know if you were hungry

jason and damian fight literally all the time, and every single time jason critiques damian which is. infuriating

cass will just walk up to dick and wrestle him to the ground until he cries for mercy

cass is only like several months younger than jason so whenever jason is like i am your BIG brother cass gets genuinely angry about it lol.

tim and damian are the only ones who actually try and fight cass. tim + cass like once a day have an argument that devolves into them wrestling and screaming on the floor while they pull each others hair. true love.

cass just punches duke out of nowhere for no reason. she learned it from dick.

damian tries to spar with cass but it's very obvious that it's like. an adult tiger pretending to be scared by a baby tiger. that vibe.

[river-bottom-nightmare]

you know what i’m curious about? jason reacting to dick after red hood.

and by “after red hood,” i mean after he’s become a more of an anti-hero, teaming up with the bats when it fits his convenience, looking out for the underprivileged and lower class of gotham specifically, not turning to killing as his first thought but not shying away from it if required either.

and that’s roughly how the bats are pulling him back into their little universe: it’s not their first priority anymore now that jason’s established himself as someone who uses lethal violence but has still managed to gain the trust of gotham’s people, but they aren’t shying away from how they clearly want him back either. so jason isn’t plugged into the bat’s central mainframe, but oracle passes on knowledge whenever it’s deemed important. and tim made jason a couple of fake ids as an olive branch, he returned it with the keys to a safehouse he never uses but tim may find useful. steph doesn’t seem too terrified of him, cass doesn’t seem to hesitate talking to him. and bruce is awkward and fumbling and manages to completely screw up almost every interaction the two of them have, but goddamnit he’s trying, jason can see that bruce is really, really trying. so he backs off bruce’s neck, knowing that he won’t ever be accepted into the family again, knowing that bruce has made it clear he won’t ever see jason as his son again, but maybe he can establish himself as an ally. someone they don’t trust with their hearts, but they trust with their lives. 

(and jason’s okay with that. he really is.)

the one person that doesn’t sit right with jason is dick.

because the dick that jason remembered from his scattered, ash-blown mind was nothing like the dick he saw parading around the manor.

for one. he was in the manor. jason’s formative years as robin were filled with the most agonizing screams he could ever think of. his father’s drunken yells, the gang boys that busted up far too near jason’s dilapidated little home, the yowls and howls of a thousand voices in gotham city screaming in pain, all of that had nothing on what jason heard. because sure, he’d heard from the people bruce and dick took him to meet that dick was so kindhearted, so good, so passionate. and,,,,passionate certainly seemed to be a word for it. there was nothing more terrifying, thirteen-year-old jason decided, then the harrowing, angry screams of a sober man screaming at someone he loved. because bruce and dick loved each other. loved each other so much that love turned to hate, rolled around until it became black and blue like an ugly bruise, except dick decided to take that black and blue and smear it across his chest so the whole world could see his pain. 

now? now, dick smiled at bruce like a mischievous little boy, corrected his form during spars, pointed out things he missed in the field. and bruce,,,,,acquiesced. he rolled his eyes longsufferingly at dick’s antics when previously, a hint of that humor would have bruce sneering at dick’s childishness that he should have outgrown. bruce corrected his posture on the mat, then struck again calmly. bruce nodded his head at the correction, thanking dick for his insight with a glance and a nod, then carried on with the investigation. that easy trust the two of them fell back on, previously only seen during a combat situation when jason was robin where action was instinctive, was now present in almost every interaction the two of them had. seemingly overnight, bruce had learned to respect dick as an adult, and dick had grown around bruce’s paranoia and obsessiveness instead of rushing straight into it. 

for another thing. he wasn’t joking when he called dick the “golden child.” he’d joked when he was a kid, calling him every iteration of the nickname his team had given him, because in his mind it was ridiculous. over time, dick had warmed to him, though it had taken a while for the man to stop seeing robin every time he looked at jason and started seeing jason. the death and the resurrection and the impromptu swimming lesson in the world’s most dangerous indoor pool had mixed up jason’s memories, but he was slowly getting back flashes of a laugh, a hand on his shoulder. dick teaching him how to train surf, dick taking him out for ethiopian and scoffing at how americanized it was, dick stitching up a nasty gash on his calf. but those incidents were rare, few and far between, and dick knew it. the two of them knew dick wasn’t as perfect as the world made him out to be, and dick shot jason a rueful smile every time he called him “goldie,” because jason seemed to be one of the very few people in the world that got to see how imperfect dick really was. 

when jason was younger, he used to think that made him special.

now, jason couldn’t decide if dick had stopped thinking of him as one of the select few that actually saw dick grayson and not a picture-perfect mask he presented, or if dick had taken a dive in his own personal lazarus pit, only this time instead of anger issues and trauma, he got a fat ass and brilliant big brother skills. the guy managed to connect to cass on a level no one else could, the two of them using their bodies as a language few others could read. he coaxed laughs out of steph even though the two of them didn’t see each other that often. but the biggest change? timothy goddamn drake. his replacement, only you can’t replace a position that never existed in the first place, can you? to dick, jason was only ever a kid he babysat sometimes, someone whose hair he ruffled on occasion and bought hot chocolate for, but nothing more. dick tugged tim into hugs so naturally, jason almost believed they’d been doing it all their lives. dick’s teachings were evident in every fluid line of the kids arms twirling a staff, dick’s influence in his not-as-beautiful-and-smooth yet practiced acrobatics, dick’s mark on the kid showing up even in his ice cream order. tim was dick’s brother, someone that looked up to him with stars in his eyes, someone that dick actively strived to be perfect for. 

the stars in jason’s eyes had burnt up into a supernova of tears the first time he’d met dick, that tiny flame of hope snuffing out immediately as he curled under dick’s harsh gaze and spiteful words.

the thing is, people don’t just change like that. jason liked to convince himself that he’d become someone new, someone different once he came back to gotham, but he knew deep down he was that same scrappy, street-smart kid. jury was still out on whether that little kid had the same inky darkness drenching his soul that jason was covered with now, or if robin’s wholehearted goodness still shone through in the cracks of red hood’s armour. 

dick sure as hell hadn’t been the perfect big brother back then that he was now. he wasn’t the family mediator, translating bruce’s gregorian knot of emotions to something the others would understand. he wasn’t the calm, cool, collected crimefighter with a powerful name stretching out in front of him and the biggest legacy ever created behind him. 

dick was human. he screamed and raged cried and hated and made mistakes and broke like a dying star. this glossy, picture-perfect mask he seemed to have drilled to his face wouldn’t stay on forever. and jason wanted to be there when it cracked.

who even knows what the fuck this was. certainly not me. i was just having some robin!jason feels. 

tag list: @woahjaybird @birdy-bat-writes @anothertimdrakestan @screennamealreadyused @subtleappreciation @pricetagofficial @catxsnow @bikoncon @maplumebleue-blog-blog @sundownridge @iwhumpyou 

[shyestofhearts]

I love these types of aus so

Actor AU

Where the DC Comics plotline is a show and the characters are the actors for said show!

Bruce began acting at a young age

He is good friend with all his kids' parents and the cast and their families quickly became close

Bruce makes sure to take of his kid co-stars

(Even if most of them aren't kids anymore)

(They'll always be kids to him)

Damian is Bruce's biological son still and took to acting because he wanted to be like his dad

(He's also one of the few children who isn't afraid of Bruce when he's in costume and in serious actor mode because Batman can be intimidating)

There's a ton of bloopers

Damian has known all of the actors since he was very small because the cast and their families would have dinners together

Besides his father, he likes it when Dick holds him the most

He cried the first time he was mean to Tim on set for a scene

Tim had to hold him for like 3 hours and give him a donut

He also cried the first time Tim was mean to him in a scene

Tim once again had to hold him and give him a snack

The siblings all play pranks on each other on set

Dick likes to do spontaneous trust falls and at this point only Duke and Bruce still catch him, the rest watch him fall on his butt and laugh when he pouts at them

(Even then Duke only chooses to catch him like 50% of the time)

All of the animals are Damian's actual animals brought on set because he was distraught at the idea of them not being involved in such a cool thing with him

Even the cow (when asked about it Bruce just said it was a moment of weakness he could never take back)

Alfred is actually just a family friend that got brought into the show because of the easy friendship he and Bruce have

Damian's death scene was hard to shoot because he kept giggling

And his giggling made other people laugh

Including a supposed to be unconscious Nightwing

Cass is Damian's favorite person to do scenes or practice lines with because of the similarities between their characters' origins

His favorite character is Duke's though

All the batsiblings act like actual siblings off set much to all their parents' amusement (and sometimes chagrin whenever they get into trouble together)

Steph convinced them to keep the bouncy house even after that scene was over so Damian could bounce on it for longer

[batarangsoundsdumb]

guess fucking what? my inbox is so fucking full right now i'm unloading all of this shit in one post.

For the 11th gotham memes: gothamites react to bruce being jacked in a tiktok he made with kids, like super yoked, ripped as hell

fucking hilarious thanks. i think i did it in one meme post, but i genuinely don't remember which one

i dunno which of the batfam would do this but one time i was sleeping over at a friends house and ended up on the floor bc the bed was so very small and i just stayed there because the rug was soft

that's a drunk jason move i don't know what to tell you

tim and jason are "i listen to pop punk" solidarity. whenever jason highjacks the batmobile theyll go on long ass car rides blaring mcr and paramore and then never talk about it again

as they should!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tim: no jason it's my turn using the aux cord i gotta put on my jams jason: don't you dare put on weird shit tim: don't worry, you're gonna love this *plays fearless (taylor's version)

hear me out hear me out, red hood stans 🤝 nightwing stans t h i g h s

holy shit yes.

SNL au: Bruce breaks character when pretending to superman and says something like "I'm not superman! You've seen his gps!! It's from 2001!!!" @sabeanybabe

superman flies past the snl building the next day just to say 'actually it's from 2005, i'm not a heathen'

does your back hurt from carrying the batfam fandom

it hurts more from the exotic rock collection i keep in my backpack, but thanks for the concern.

I love your posts by why would you always leave the best parts in the tags?

as a treat for the people that check the tags ;) (and also because i'm committed to the short post aesthetic)

somehow your playlist was everything i never knew i needed. i mean it. this is my new favorite playlist.

and don't you dare get a new favourite playlist!

babe ur stoner tim playlist is exactly too perfect, earth is literally blessed by ur existence

babe thanks so much! i love my stoner tim playlist because it's just my usual playlist but people think it's an artistic choice that i put taylor swift and britney spears in there, when it's just what i unironically like listening to

JANDKSKDK BILLY RAY CYRUS ON THE STONER TIM PLAYLIST I LOVE IT IT

again it's not even an ironic choice, i know every single word and i genuinely like the song

The last chapter of Fundamentals of Casework has me crying at work. Thanks I love it @dudelookitsalesbian

oh babe, i'm sorry, but also, not sorry i love chapter 4 so much it's my lovechild with the 'mental illness' tag

soooo....stumbled on your tumblr by some stroke of fate??? read your DC fanfic first. which is PHENOMENAL btw. then found all the batmemes; the funniest thing EVER bc everyone forgets about regular old gothamites. kept scrolling and your blog pops up as recommended. clicked on the ao3 for shits and giggles and waddaya know?!?!? it's YOU!!! you're LEGEND!!!! ever seen that meme? it's a video of a cat that got into a baseball field and the two announcers get really invested in his escape attempt and start giving a play by play of the cat instead of the game. memeable moment: "GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!"

i seriously think about this ask every single day and it's so fucking funny to me that i've never seen the meme you're referencing, but i still find myself going 'GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!' whenever i see something funny. but wow i'm glad you liked this steaming pile of garbage

Fav dc character overall? And fav batfamily character?

don't ask me to pick between the loves of my life, but i can tell you i've cried about every single batfamily member and also wally west (my beloved)

What's your opinion on fans having a problem with batfam being "too big"? And some even claim that batfam is just "Bruce Alfred Dick Damian" and the rest of them are just "friends and allies" (source: reddit) Personally, I like batfam because of this reason but idk

stupid. a family can never be too big. i'm not that big a fan of like huge batfam stuff with everybody from every single universe, because as much as it's funny for bruce to have like 30 kids, it just feels a little too OOC for me.

This is the best tag I've seen involving the batfam, thanks for thinking of it

This is canon now @nctxrejects

lmao yeah i think at that point alfred has had to sit through like at least a dozen coming out talks and just has a pride flag collection in the attic that he pulls out whenever a kid comes out

idk why batfam hits different as compared to any other superhero family

bc it's found family and usually the other superhero families are almost all genetically related in one way or another

I don't know if you watch the umbrella academy but I saw your last post about batcest and saw the similarities. But the thing is (although I think it's weird) in TUA, they addressed it by saying "they were raised as weapons, not siblings" or something along those lines, which is simply not the case with batfam.

yeah i watched tua but i also thought it was ridiculous and they still treated each other as siblings so i didn't like the luthor/allison thing, and am glad they stopped doing that shit bc it fucking sucked.

Hot take: Batcest shippers are the same people who believe adopted siblings are not actual siblings

smoking hot take: batcest shippers are the people who watch 'my sister got stuck in the washing machine' porn

Duke was adopted by Bruce?

not technically no, but do i, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb, look like i care?

True story but I had to change my freaking name because it used to be "Damien" and most people would go "OH LIKE DAMIAN WAYNE" like please I'm just tryna live

true story, but i don't actually think of damian when i hear the name damian, literally the first thing that pops up is damian darkh like bruh what?

apparently dc comics company supported comic stores by giving out new titles and stuff during the beginning of the pandemic to help them run and I just think that's wholesome

ah yeah that's so fucking cool, still don't like dc, the company, because this world is a capitalist hellhole and we're all owned by warner brothers or disney with no in between.

ayo looking at tumblr head canons and finding out bruce is actually a terrible father is a punch in the gut

lmao yes, in like 50% of comics bruce is a terrible father and it gives me whiplash

oooh I just saw the jason todd vs winter soldier post and the real question is: batman vs iron man

while iron man has like hundreds of cases of armor, batman could throw out an emp and have the guy dropping out of the sky in 2 seconds.

dickfast = fastdick = quickdick = quickie

magnum hot take

hey bata(?) just thought I'd let you know I have copied the obnoxious emoji and Billy Ray post for use on simping men going forth

thank you 😘🌷 (@spacebarsidecar)

why would you do that to your followers???? i get why i did it, but why would you???

what is scarecrow made the nightwing funko pop himself, like those diy-ers that paint over other ones

oh god no, horrible take, horrible take, that's a disgusting thought oh no

I see your HC that Bruce and Oliver fucked and raise you this: Dick and Roy ALSO fucked

yes they did and it was a horrible moment for jason to find out dick has fucked both of his best friends

"at this rate bruce adds like 1 child to his family every decade or so" Duke is introduced in 2013, Damian as Damian, not as an unnamed child, in 2006. And he is already 14 years old, Robins rarely remain Robins after 16 😬 It looks like a new Robin and Batkid will appear in a couple of years

i mean i can't wait? but somebody will probably die first tho, we're due for another major character death. my money's on either cass or duke this time.

BRO you're so right all of your Bruce's ex headcanons are amazing but they aren't ships, that's kinda wild. Like I don't want any peeks into how their relationship was I just want to see everyone make fun of them

lmao YES it's just i love bruce being a slut, like good for him.

I am in love with your posts your honour thank you

omg thanks are we like,, gonna kiss now?

The justice league needs to have a meeting to discuss how many of their members/partners have slept with bruce. Because through a combination of cannon & fannon (if DC wasn’t homophobic) we have AT LEAST: 1) clark 2) lois 3) oliver 4) dinah 5) john

Thats not counting villains or random civilians @dudelookitsalesbian

yes yes yes, they'll have a yearly meeting about how many of their collective exes could be out for revenge and batman's list just keeps getting longer.

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

and what about it?

when steph's fighting livewire and she zaps her with lighting and nothing happens and then they both just. stand there awkwardly for a second and talk. yeah i couldn't stop laughing at that batgirl steph is the BEST

oh yeah that was fucking hilarious and i think it would be so cool and sexy of dc to give steph a little comic series,,, as a treat

Hi I absolutely adore all of yours "Bruce and Oliver very badly pretending they didn't fuck each other" memes

lmao i do too

I need you to know that “Bruce Wayne had frosted tips” is one of my favorite Bruce takes of all time it’s so galaxy brained. you’re right and you should say it

he also painted his hair blonde once when he was travelling and in conclusion, this is why he's being blackmailed by the gotham gazette.

you know my thing about gordon being branded as the only good cop in gotham is its a load of shit like arguably he's a good person and not working to screw people over or anything but the fact that he also works w. batman makes him a shit cop. like yea batman is better than the mob but its still illegal its still an abuse of power he just not making bank

babe, all cops are bad cops. (but yeah youre absolutely right, working with vigilantes makes you a shit cop, but also working against vigilantes just makes you an asshole cop yanno?)

ruh roh i think i’m about to add “so not yeehaw” every time i don’t like something

that's a very good vocabulary upgrade

somehow i feel like steph already knew. like babs obviously knew but i feel like bruce got high/drunk in front of steph and started telling his boarding school stories and steph was just like “oh you fucked up i’m never gonna forget this”

steph and bruce have weird uncle/rebellious niece dynamic and they just hang out sometimes and bruce will be like 'i once broke my arm when i tripped over a hedge when i was drunk so oliver drove me to the hospital on an electric scooter' and steph will just have to sit there with that knowledge in her head.

Hello I just wanted to tell you you are So right in all your steph opinions bc she is, in fact amazing and I think that's very sexy of you. Ps. Your Bruce/Oliver fic is hilarious

babe, thank you so much and yes steph is amazing and i love her and she deserves the world and she's the best member of the batfam hands down. also thanks

In Supersons we see a couple of kids that are implied to be Damian and Jon's children and the boy has laser eyes and can fly, so I asume he's not adopted. The girl, who calls Bruce grandpa, can also fly, btw. So it's canon (probably by accident) that Jon can have kids and he must have married one of Bruce's kids. (I'm hoping for Damian, mostly because any other of his children would be waaaaaaaaaaaaay too old.) @artemisa97

lmao that was probably an accident seeing as jon is a 17 year old superhero in the year 3000 (by the jonas brothers)

You know, I'm a die hard fan of your memes, but I gotta say one thing: if Gothamites actually took gas mask everywhere with them, then the Scarecrow would just be a weird dude in a weird costume, and not a villain oh so scary. DC really should just takes notes from you.

bold of you to assume there's no gothamite anti-maskers

How does it feel being the funniest person on this app?

horrible, next question.

I can't listen to Green Day or Billy Joel without thinking of your post about how Bruce got arrested at a Billy Joel concert @nightwings-kid

yeah that's your mistake, i on the other hand can't enjoy billy joel without thinking about the glee rendition of 'uptown girl'

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

superman: so what do you do in your free time? batman, thinking about the superman fanfiction he's writing on the batcomputer: i have no free time

bruce and oliver be like boyfriends to co-workers 401k (do the justice leagues get 401ks??? not that bruce and ollie would need them, but-)

lmao yes just 400 thousand words of bruce realising 'oh dip oliver is such a fucking dumbass' (also i don't know what a 401 k is but i assume they don't?)

Gothamites would totally boo superman as he saves Gotham while batman is out. @meenje

he's like 'okay think about that next time you want to be saved from an alien octopus'

I just took long break from dc comics and I come back to see ric grayson ??

i think it's very cool and sexy of dc to see dick and just think 'you know what? let's just give him a traumatic brain injury' and then didn't develop his character in any real way

SPEAKING OF RIC GRAYSON, gothamites making confused memes out of ric grayson is much needed

'dick grayson is my taxi driver? can anyone explain what the fuck happened he looks like an italian plumber?'

i hate to say it but batfam are def "marvel characters" in that sense they are characters who are human but become superheroes unlike most dc characters who are gods trying to be human maybe this is why I like batfam

fair enough