#Brian celebrates every day

[julikobold]

Brian: We all have our way of celebrating. Some people take it to the streets …

Ted: Other people take it to the sheets.

[halothanic]

“a thousand wasted hours a day, just to feel my heart for a second”

happy 50th anniversary to brian depalma’s “phantom of the paradise”, a brilliant work of art that will forever move me beyond words.

i cherish each gorgeous frame, each note, and will never be able to articulate fully how much winslow as a character means to me.

hopefully i'll be around to celebrate its 100th. i bet by then i'll have every line memorized.

[guxciestone]

🥂 ❛ SATURN AND THE 27 CLUB ༉‧₊˚ ˚୨୧

(how saturn affected the lives of the members of the 27 club)

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the 27 club and the conspiracies behind it have always intrigued me. i always wondered if there were any astrological connections between the members and their consequential deaths. if you have any post suggestions, i’m willing to consider them. i hope you’re having an amazing day and enjoy !!🫶🏽🤍

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what is the 27 club?

The 27 club is a popular informal list of musicians, actors, athletes and other famous people who consequently died at 27 due to overdoses, suicides, homicides, addictions, and other mysterious circumstances. The first ever recorded member of this club was Robert Johnson, the first ever rockstar. There have been multiple theories surrounding Robert’s rise to fame and his death. The most popular story was that Robert got his immaculate guitar talent from making a deal with Satan at a crossroads.

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This club has developed the notion that most celebrities tend to die at that age. Additionally, most celebrities, especially the musicians, had high-risk lifestyles. The 27 club has become a cultural phenomenon and conspiracy theory that the public and other celebrities have become aware of. In Mac Miller’s song “Brand Name”, he mentions, “To everyone who sell me drugs: Don’t mix it with that bullshit, I’m hopin’ not to join the 27 Club.” Mac Miller passed away at the age of 26 on September 7, 2018 due to a drug overdose, 4 months from his 27th birthday, almost making it into the club. The celebrities from the 27 Club I am including in this blog are: Amy Winehouse, Kurt Cobain, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Brian Jones, and Jim Morrison. They were all popular musicians.

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the theory of saturn and selling your soul

The main conspiracy that goes around as to why these famous individuals made into this club is because they may have decided to attain their desire of fame and fortune in exchange for their soul and tragic death at the age of 27. Although I do not wholeheartedly believe in this theory, it is still fascinating to consider what if this could’ve been the case for all of these stars’ deaths? Especially when there may be an astrological theory that supports it.

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Saturn is the planet of contracts, deals, and promises. This planet is infamous for bringing back karma or lessons when an obligation or promise has been broken or put to a halt, which signifies the “deal” that these celebrities make with the devil, and if the deal doesn’t perform the way it should, the person has to endure the consequences. It makes it even more convincing that in tarot the “Devil” card is ruled by Saturn.

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my theory on saturn and the 27 club

It is intriguing how all of these celebrities died at the age of 27, it makes you wonder, “What is significant about that age?” and “What did these celebrities specifically do differently than other celebrities to experience a death at that age?” After researching articles and creating my own observations, I’ve made my own theory as to how Saturn could have affected the 27 Club.

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Saturn is the planet of responsibility, maturity, and obligations. It is the reality that catches up to us when we have to grow up and take accountability for our true duties. It is the planet that we are so afraid of due to the harshness and honesty it beholds for us when it is time. At the age of 27-29 years old, every individual undergoes a Saturn Return—which is when all of that exactly happens. It is the time in which you have to take responsibility for your problems, issues, and wounds, and realize that it is up to you to create the life you need and deserve. This return is a wake-up call for individuals who suffer from addictions, mental health issues, self-esteem issues, and much more. Saturn gives you that wake-up call by giving you the karma for the reality you’ve created for yourself so far, because karma isn’t necessarily just about what you do to others, but also what you do to yourself. This may pertain to the deaths of the members of the 27 Club.

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Next, I am going to interpret each of the members’ Saturn placements to see how their Saturn Return affected them personally.

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NOTE: I am simply reading the aspects of these celebrities for entertainment and curiosity purposes; I obviously did not know them personally, and these interpretations may be incorrect. I hope you enjoy it.

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♡ amy winehouse ♡

Saturn in Scorpio in the 6th house

This indicates that Amy Winehouse may have had deep-rooted issues involving her self-care, habits, and health. There was this struggle to develop a close and intimate relationship with one’s personal wellbeing, and anything that interfered with that could have affected her. It is publicly known that Amy struggled with drug and alcohol addiction during her time and additionally dealt with other health problems such as bulimia. There were times where she repeatedly refused to go to rehab or get help. Before her Saturn Return, there may have been subconscious refusal to accept the problems that would’ve come from not taking much care of herself, and the only time when there would be acceptance of these problems is when it is too late because Saturn allows you to pick up the pieces of what you’ve put out for yourself as an adult. However, with maturity, this placement gives the individual the ability to dig deep into the depths of their nature and spirit to get to know themselves and satisfy their needs, wants, and desires in the most healthiest and effective way possible.

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Moon in Capricorn in the 7th house sextile Saturn

There is a sense of maturity and seriousness when it comes to one’s emotional fulfillment. Winehouse valued her personal relationships as it gave her a sense of security and personal contentment. It may have been particularly harder for her to express this to her closest people, considering the fact that emotions and vulnerability might have not been her forte (Capricorn) However, she also held her personal connections to a high standard–she might have held boundaries, rules, and restrictions towards her loved ones. If she sees that someone is not behaving in the way she desires, she could easily cut them off. This would have been helpful for her in developing a sense of self-respect and maintaining her well-being and health as it could help prevent attracting people into her life that could influence her in the worst ways, such as developing addictions from partners.

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Uranus in Sagittarius in the 6th sextile Saturn

Amy may have been an individual who was interested in sudden changes and unique circumstances in her work and routine. She would likely struggle in a workplace or environment that requires her to hold order and normality. She worked better in areas in which she can be independent, make her own schedule, and create her own flow. However, this placement can indicate unexpected changes in health as well–considering Amy had a 6th house stellium, health could have been an important part of her life. It seems that Winehouse would be able to maintain her sense of wellbeing and habits in a progressive and helpful way by allowing herself to create her own sense of routine. Perhaps using unique and healthy mediums of self-care would have helped (such as meditation, journaling, herbs–anything unconventional, but promising for her)

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Pluto in Libra in the 6th conjunct Saturn

This indicates that Amy had a strong sense of ambition, focus, and determination. She might have had a strong need to succeed, worked hard and pushed herself to her limits. This willpower is beneficial in helping her progress in her wellbeing and habits, especially considering that this aspect indicates sudden changes and transformations in health–either for the best or worst. However, Winehouse may have easily worked herself to poor health such as burnout and exhaustion. Additionally, individuals with this placement are often good at keeping secrets and holding their ambitions to their chest. Not to mention, they are more than likely to struggle with pessimism and this aspect can magnify realism to a huge extent.

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♡ kurt cobain ♡

Saturn in Pisces in the 7th house

This indicates the struggle to allow vulnerability and unconditional love submerge into one’s interpersonal relationships. Cobain was a sensitive, emotional, and imaginative individual who desired to hold his connections and loved ones closely. However, he might have had an issue with developing closeness in these relationships due to the fear of intimacy and being loved. Cobain could have had habits of isolating himself, distancing himself from potential connections, or developing loneliness. It was known that Kurt dealt with mental health issues such as depression. Although we are not sure of what caused Kurt’s depression, there are things we know about his life. Firstly, his parents divorced when he was young, and secondly, he also struggled with drug addiction with heroin.

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Venus in Pisces in the 7th conjunct Saturn

This indicates that one presents a loving and compassionate nature to partners and interpersonal connections. Cobain handled his relationships with a sense of selflessness and often held a huge imagination about and glamorized his partners. However, with this particular aspect, it may have been harder for him to express this true character to the people he loves and cares about–as transparency may have been one thing he struggled with. It seems that there is this fear of becoming codependent, needy, or illusioned in the realms of romance, so one tends to push themselves away from the possibility of connections with others. Furthermore, with the energy in Pisces, there could be a sense of melancholy or loneliness when he separates himself from the very relationships he longs for.

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Jupiter in Cancer in the 10th house trine Saturn

Cobain had an excellent sense of discipline as well as optimism and faith in his goals and aspirations. He was meant to be successful in the realms music, art, and creativity as he had the ability to deeply connect with the public and accentuate special emotions and feelings in the audience while maintaining a sense of realism within his imagination. He was fairly hardworking and career success came to him naturally; and it seems that Cobain would have benefited vastly from doing this. He could have found that developing professional yet close connections with the public, his audience, and business partners would have helped him miraculously in his journey towards being vulnerable with others and developing knitted and unconditional relationships.

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Midheaven in Gemini square Saturn

Kurt had the ability to communicate and express himself through mediums in his career, whether that be music, writing, teaching, and much more–it was in his path. However, it is possible that there could have been particular career blockages. Perhaps Cobain refused to integrate with the people and develop business connections with others, which could have made him struggle with expressing himself successfully to the public. He may have felt like he could not portray his image too well because of this, and it may have felt like nobody understood him and his image. Due to this, it could have been easy for Cobain to fall into deeper depression while in the public eye because it may have been another reminder of his lack of connections.

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♡ jimi hendrix ♡

Saturn in Gemini in the 6th house

There is this struggle of learning and taking advice from one’s peers in regards to your nature of order, routine, health, and responsibilities. Perhaps Hendrix lacked a sense of accountability in how he took care of himself or the habits he adapted. Perhaps he was the type to not be that interested in the regular workplace, schedules, or environment. He struggled with maintaining order in spontaneousness and control. However, it may be the other way around–perhaps there was a lack of accountability in being a workaholic, overworking himself, or pushing himself to his unforeseen limits. Peers, friends, or family members may have tried to consult him but there could have been the refusal to listen or abide. Apparently, although Hendrix did not suffer from drug addiction like most of the 27 Club members, he did have a fair fixation with alcohol, and there were times when he would get violent and abusive under the influence. There was even a time in which he had a physical altercation with his girlfriend while drunk.

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Sun in Sagittarius in the 11th house opposition Saturn

Jimi was a bohemian at heart. He lived his life in authenticity through rejoicing with others, exploring the horizons, and taking in a huge amount of knowledge. Hendrix had the core value of enjoying the present and taking in all that you can; however, he also was an advocate of being involved and gaining experience with his community. He could have been fairly popular and likable. Nevertheless, this aspect can indicate that the influence of friends or social groups could have easily led Hendrix to an irresponsible and careless path in regards to his obligations and wellbeing. There would not be a surprise if he got into alcohol or drugs though friends, cousins, communities or peers. Matter of fact, during his drug trial, Hendrix admitted that he found doses of LSD and marijuana through gifts at a fan club meeting for the Beatles.

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Mercury in Sagittarius in the 11th house opposition Saturn

Hendrix had the ability to attain incredible amounts of wisdom and was more than likely an intelligent individual. He was an expansive, open-minded, yet benevolent thinker; he was always willing to learn and challenge new customs and ideologies. He may have been particularly interested in social issues, his hopes and dreams, and connecting with communities. Furthermore, he could have been involved with many different groups of people, making him fairly known. However, there is a struggle with expressing himself through his means of communication, learning, being heard, and verbal expression. There could have been an imbalance in where to put his mental energy–either in expanding his horizons and indulging in new learning experiences or restricting himself to his duties and responsibilities. It may have been difficult for him to connect with others and he often felt distant from his peers, friends, and communities. He struggled between handling his work and advocating with his people.

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♡ janis joplin ♡

Saturn in Gemini in the 3rd house

This indicates an individual struggling with expressing oneself, connecting with others, and learning through peers when it comes to areas of communicating, their mindset, and thinking processes. Joplin was a mature, disciplined, and rigid thinker; she was wise and precise in the facts and messages she took in. She could have been an eloquent communicator as well. She was known for her strong and enduring three octave voice. However, this placement could manifest as her possibly struggling with communicating with others or developing connections with her peers and social groups. She may have been stubborn in receiving advice from her equals, and could have also struggled with negative thinking or pessimism. Apparently, when Joplin was in high school, she was one of the few to vocally oppose segregation amongst students, she endured bullying from racists and her peers. Furthermore, she was fairly a good student and popular until highschool–when she started to rebel and dress differently from other girls.

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Chiron in Leo in the 7th house square Saturn

This indicates that Janis has a wound surrounding self-expression and connecting with her true self in her interpersonal relationships. She may have struggled with feeling genuine within her romantic connections; she could have felt that she had to fight to be heard and understood by her partners. There could have been conveniences in which she felt the need to distance herself from her love affairs due to feelings of being misheard or misunderstood.

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Venus in Aquarius in the 12th house trine Saturn

Joplin was an electrifying, unpredictable, and quirky partner. She might have chosen different and special kinds of people to integrate into her love life. She thrived from eccentricity, and she desired to try new things in the matters of romance. However, she had a mystifying quality in regards to love. She was an idealist, and often had a huge imagination for her partners. She could have idolized them or put them on a pedestal. She may have dreamed about having the “perfect” lover too. She was fairly compassionate and giving towards the people she loves and cares about. This placement could also point to being a part of the LGBTQ+ community because Janis strived for unique partners and may have preferred it behind closed doors. There were tons of speculations that Joplin was lesbian, or at least bisexual, considering she had a long-term relationship with Peggy Caserta and went to gay bars before marrying her fiance Seth Morgan. Nevertheless, Joplin has innate ability to express her opinions, thoughts, and mind processes through these distinctive and thrilling connections because perhaps she felt could demonstrate her true self. This also made her a mature and stable lover as well, she was persistent and thoughtful in the matters of love.

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Midheaven in Sagittarius opposition Saturn

Janis was seen as a rebellious, hippy, jubilant, and outgoing individual in the public eye; however, the issue surrounding the relationship with her peers growing up and her struggles with feeling heard, connected, and understood by them still ran deep in her heart. She might have compensated for this lack of community or fellowship by pursuing his career endeavors, which could have been beneficial to her to an extent. It was mentioned that Janis escaped her day-to-day issues in school by diving in her passion for music and art. However, this aspect calls for one avoiding the actual issue and not being willing to fix it, which could have hurt her in the long run. There was a need to resolve the broken connection there is with associates and her immediate community and allow herself to express her thoughts and be understood and comprehended for who she is.

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♡ brian jones ♡

Saturn in Taurus in 9th house

The Rolling Stones member had a deliberate, cautious and organized mind when it came to his materialistic and mental assets in life. He may have had the fear of losing his financial security, depending on others, or lacking foundation in his life whether that be with money, relationships, or success. Furthermore, Jones had a firm and solid foundation of values and morals that he was stubborn to changing. He was intelligent and had the ability to maintain his views. He may have grown up with rigid beliefs in the household, and it may have been particularly difficult for him to change the beliefs he had surrounding security, stability, and his foundations. It has been said that Brian dropped out of college due to the fact he disliked the conformity and discipline of it, although he performed very well and was intelligent at a young age.

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Mars in Taurus in the 9th house conjunct Saturn

Jones was a disciplined, fairly motivated, and meticulous man. He was persistent and consistent when it came to his goals and aspirations. At some point in his life, graduating from college may have been an important thing for him to accomplish. This also indicates that he pursued his dreams and ambitions with the desire for security and stability in mind. However, this aspect can point to one being stuck in accomplishing their goals, whether that be from overworking, refusing to learn from failures, or pessimism.

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Mercury in Aquarius in the 5th house square Saturn

This indicates that Brian Jones struggled with mediums of communication, learning and interacting with his immediate community. He could have had issues with expressing his unique and exciting talents due to his inhibited and stubborn views and morals. Perhaps at some point, college may have prevented him from pursuing music and producing, and it made him feel misunderstood and disconnected from his versatility and creative processes. This could also point to using detrimental vices to compensate for the lack of connection with one’s hobbies and pleasures (such as addictions, investing in endeavors you aren’t interested in, punishments, and much more)

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♡ jim morrison ♡

Saturn in Gemini in the 5th house

Morrison was an intelligent, critical, and versatile individual. His special abilities were being creative and deliberate in solving problems, speaking his mind with eloquence, and handling long-term projects. However, there seems to be an issue with balance between being too reckless and feeble-minded and too critical and stubborn in the acts of creative endeavors and joys in life. It may have been hard for Jim to indulge in his hobbies, affairs, or even considering children. Morrison did not have any children nor did he have a good relationship with his parents, so all of his will went to his girlfriend.

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Chiron in Virgo in the 7th house square Saturn

Morrison has a wound surrounding the criticality, order, and sensibility. He may have had a strong sense of perfectionism and judgment when it came to his interpersonal relationships. Perhaps growing up he had to deal with harsh and fault-finding parents, friends, siblings, or partners. It could have caused him to develop a feeling of inadequacy–like he is not good enough. According to Morrison, his parents had “immense discipline” growing up and would have military-like punishments such as dressing down. He reportedly mentioned how he distanced himself from his parents over the years. This feeling of inadequacy may have caused Jim to develop a critical, self-inflicting behavior when it comes to him enjoying his personal endeavors, affairs, casual relationships, or hobbies.

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Sun in Sagittarius in the 10th house opposition Saturn

Morrison was a career-oriented individual who valued learning new things, expanding his knowledge, and experiencing new excitement through his professional endeavors and public image. However, he may have noticed that over time, prioritizing his legacy, image, and success could cause him to distance himself from his true passions and leisures. This may have influenced serious, “wet blanket” behavior and possibly becoming overly critical and strict himself.

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[roosterforme]

Adult Education Part 22 | Hangman x OC

Summary: After visiting Jessica's family in Massachusetts and his family in Texas, it's time to officially finish moving in together. It's also time for Jake to take his girlfriend on a little adventure she has always dreamed about.

Warnings: Fluff, sex in public, language, 18+

Length: 2000 words

Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Female OC

This story is part of the Beer Boy and Sugar universe but can be read on its own! Adult Education masterlist

Seriously, who let Jake on my masterlist!? Banner by @mak-32

Epilogue Part One

Three months later...

The airport in San Diego was absolutely overrun with business travelers and families on summer vacation. It seemed like there were people rushing in every direction, trying to catch connecting flights or grab their luggage and go. But Jake was in no hurry at all. He'd just left the laidback state of Texas. Tomorrow was Saturday. His girlfriend was on term break.

In fact, he missed his luggage going around the baggage carousel twice because Jessica had her lips pressed to his. "You know," he murmured after the second time, "we would already be home by now if you weren't so damn distracting."

She shook her head. "We have to stop by my apartment on the way and pick up the last few boxes."

Jake smiled. "I know. Then it's official, Baby." Her lease was ending on Monday, and they left those boxes of old textbooks and scientific journals so they could still claim she was going to be moving in, not that she essentially already had. Jake didn't want to make a poor impression on her family, but it turned out he didn't have anything to worry about. And neither did she.

"So Thanksgiving back in Massachusetts and Christmas in Texas," she murmured against his neck as she let her head rest on his shoulder. "We're going to be very busy this year."

"There's no escaping my mom now," he told her. "She's probably already crocheting a Christmas stocking with your name on it. I think she almost evaporated into thin air when she hugged you. Physical proof that her son is dating someone with a PhD who looks like a supermodel nearly took her out."

"Jake," she whined with a laugh. "Supermodels don't wear glasses or read the science joke of the day emails."

"Mine does," he insisted. "There's my bag again. Now can we please go home?"

"Absolutely," she replied as he grabbed his luggage before it could sneak by a third time. "I'm determined to cook an edible dinner one night while I'm off. Plus, I really wanted to spend this week while you're at work organizing all of my stuff at the condo."

He grinned as they exited the airport holding hands. "Actually, you're coming to work with me on Monday."

"I am? For what?"

"Well... that's a bit of a surprise."

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Jessica watched Jake stack the three remaining boxes of her things in his arms and carry them out to his truck. She could have only managed to take them one at a time, but he even humored her barrage of questions while he went.

"When are you going to tell me what the surprise is? Will you tell me now? How will I know what to wear to base with you on Monday if you don't tell me what it's for?"

He was silent for the first part of the ride from her old neighborhood as they made their way toward the pacific coast and his condo, and she looked out the window while she tapped her foot anxiously. When he took an unexpected right turn instead of a left, she turned to look at him.

"You really want to know?" he asked, his face just gorgeous in the orange and purple light as the sun finished setting.

"Yes!"

He chuckled. "Well, I thought this would be a fun little celebration of sorts since you found out Brian isn't coming back in the fall. And I think it's something you've been wanting to experience." 

Jessica tipped her head back against the headrest and smiled. Advanced Calculus had texted her when they were at the airport in Boston about to fly to Texas, letting her know Brian took a position at the local community college. She wouldn't even have to look at him when her classes started up again next month. She had been so excited, she and Jake had very awkward but enthusiastic sex in the airplane lavatory as they flew over Pennsylvania. 

When he pulled his truck off the main road and along the bay, Jessica had to hang on as he drove down an unpaved street as the sky darkened. "Where are we going?" she asked, as they bumped along, driving parallel to a tall fence with barbed wire across the top of it.

"I want to show you something," he muttered, coming to a stop between the rocky bay beach and the fence. "There's the hangar, and there's my jet."

Jessica looked to where he was pointing, and she could barely make out HANGMAN printed across the side of one of the aircrafts. "Oh!" she gasped, realizing she'd never even visited him on base before. 

"Come here, and I'll tell you the surprise," he crooned, killing the engine and unbuckling her seatbelt. He coaxed her to his lap and said, "If you want to fly with me on Monday, I got special permission to take you up since you're a physics professor."

"What?!" Jessica's eyes went wide. "Are you serious?"

His smile was soft and genuine as he nodded. "Does that mean you still want to do it?"

"Jake!" She pushed his shoulders back against the seat and shook him slightly as he laughed. "I wrote my PhD thesis on jet propulsion in military aircrafts! Of course I want to fly with you!"

"I know," he drawled as he smirked. "I read your thesis, remember? Barely understood a word, but I did read it."

"Smart Boy," she moaned as she kissed him. "I can't wait for Monday." As she raked her fingers back through his hair, his hands came to rest on her hips. She kissed and nipped at him, pausing to say, "I'm so excited."

When Jessica's tongue slipped between his lips, she rolled her hips against him. He groaned and cupped her butt, guiding her to do it again. He was so obviously hard in his jeans now, and she didn't want to wait until they got home. "Feels like you're excited, too," she said with a grin before she licked his lip.

"Fuck, Jessica. If you're like this today, you'll be a mess on Monday after we actually fly together."

She gasped and nodded. "Oh my god. You're right."

"I know I am, Baby. You'll be dripping wet for me by then."

When she clenched around nothing as his hand snaked up the front of her shirt, she admitted, "I already am." She ground down against his cock and whispered, "You know how we had that quickie the other day way out on your parents property?"

Jake moaned and said, "I'll remember that for the rest of my life. Bending you over the tailgate of my dad's old truck."

"Well," she murmured, licking a stripe from his chin slowly back to his ear. "It's pretty dark now. You could bend me over your own tailgate."

Jake's hand was opening his door before she finished her sentence, and he hauled her back behind his truck. He was a little rough, pulling her against him and making her stumble as he dropped the tailgate down. He kissed her lips and rubbed the front of his jeans against hers before he said, "It'll have to be quick again. Before any of the guards drive by."

"Okay," she agreed, and then Jake had her pinned down from behind as she made a surprised noise. She let her head rest on her folded arms as she turned toward the fence. It was now too dark to see the hangar or any of the jets as Jake reached around and undid the front of her jeans. He yanked them down along with her sage green thong before unzipping his own pants and letting his cock rest against her butt.

"You weren't kidding, Smart Girl," he whispered, teasing her clit and running his finger through her slit. "You're soaked."

The evening air was cool on her bare skin, and when he separated her with his long fingers, she shivered for so many reasons. Then he connected them together, plunging inside her as she cried out.

"Shhh," he warned, and she bit her lip. "Be a good girl. I'll make it fast."

"Oh god," she groaned softly, her whole body bouncing against the tailgate with each of his rapid thrusts. She couldn't stop the little grunts and needy sounds she made for him every time his hips slammed into her butt, but he was moaning her name softly too as he fucked her. 

He just went harder and harder, and Jessica had to hold onto the tailgate with quivering fingers as he hit the spot that made her shake for him. "Jake," she whispered as he leaned down over her back as she came. But he wasn't done yet.

His voice was rough like the gravel beneath her feet. "I love you. I love fucking you. I can't wait to take you home. I can't wait to fly with you." He grabbed her hips and drove himself deep as she continued to clench softly around him, and then he came too. And this time she had to remind him to be quiet.

"Jake, you're so loud," she warned as his thrusting grew shallow. "And I see headlights," she hissed.

"Fuck," he growled, pulling out of her and sending his cum dribbling down the insides of her thighs as she yanked up her underwear and jeans. There was definitely a security vehicle headed past the hangar on some sort of patrol route. "Let's get out of here," he said, pulling her toward the driver's side door. 

Jessica scampered inside, barely making it to the passenger seat before Jake had the engine roaring to life and the truck shifted into reverse. Deftly and with a smile on his face, he reversed back down the bumpy road like it was nothing. "That was a little close," he said as he slowed down before making it back to the pavement.

She bit her lip and said, "What if I said I kind of love tailgate quickies?"

He glanced at her as he slowed at a stop sign. "Well then I would say I'll come up with a list of places we can sneak off to."

Her hand stroked his thigh as she said, "Get to work on that."

-------------------------

The fact that Jake managed to pull this off after weeks and weeks of planning left a smile on his face. On Monday, he watched as Phoenix helped Jessica into a flight suit in the hangar, and then he handed her a helmet. She was grinning at him as she slipped it onto her head. "You look like you're ready to go, Dr. Reed," he said as he fastened it into place for her. 

"I'm so ready, Lieutenant Seresin," she replied, bouncing slightly on her booted feet as she ran her fingers along the HANGMAN patch on his own flight suit. "How many Gs do you think we'll hit? Can we roll upside down?"

"Jesus," he laughed. "Next thing you'll be leaving me in the fall to go to flight school."

She pouted and said, "My eyesight is too poor."

He kissed the tip of her nose before picking up his own helmet. "Not to be a WSO."

"Oh my god, Jake! You're right!"

She asked him a million questions in a row as she followed him across the tarmac, and he could only answer about half of them for her. "Why don't you tell me, Reedy," he finally said as she climbed the first rung of the ladder. "You're way smarter than me."

She turned back and looked at him. "Maybe just a little bit. But you know how to do the one thing I'll never get to do. Actually fly this thing!"

He placed a hand on her waist, giving her a squeeze through the rough fabric. "I just want you to relax and enjoy yourself. I'll try to answer any questions you have when we're in bed later. How does that sound?"

She nodded at him as her eyes went wide. "That actually sounds great. Let's go." She then climbed the ladder in record time, leaving Jake laughing on the tarmac before he followed after her. 

He would be happy to follow her as long as she would let him.

--------------------------

Jessica Reed is just winning so hard now. Fuck off, Brian. One more filthy part of this story to come. Thanks for reading! And thanks @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls

PART 23

@blahehblah

@sotalife

@desert-fern

@furiouspiespytaco

@rosiahills22

@daggerspare-standingby

@je-suis-prest-rachel

@callsign-joyride

@theharddeck

@withakindheartx

@roosterscockpit

@whatislovevavy

@hangmanbrainrot

@neferpatra

@sehnsuchts-trunken

@averyhotchner

@thedroneranger

@cherrycola27

@mygyn

@gennyanydots

@callsign-magnolia

@whisperofsong

@seriouslyseresin

@hotch-meeeeeuppppp

@katiebby04

@supernaturaldawning

@chassy21

@tylerjones98

@captainjaspenor

@gigisimsonmars

@fanboyswhore9

@angel-w0nderland

@abaker74

@idontcare-11

@isaebellaa

@bringnattolife

@xoxabs88xox

@djs8891

@hufflepufftruffle

@cottagecori

[hearts-hunger]

Read on AO3 | Masterlist

Summary: Under the soft glow of the purple Halloween lights, Danny is sweet to you like he always is. || Sequel to Kitkat and Honeyglow

Pairings: Danny x Reader | Genre: fluff, hurt/comfort | Word Count: 2.4k | Warnings: drinking, smoking, mentions of wacky tobaccy, me not knowing anything actually about tarot cards (sorry)

A/N: Everyone say thank you to @spark-my-nature and go look lovingly upon this Kitkat 'verse Danny fanart she made that made me cry!!! Every Danny and Kitkat fic is dedicated especially to Miranda now :) I have at least one more fic for these two sweeties up my sleeve this spooky season, and I hope you like this short little fic! ♡

“Damn, Jake, how much tequila did you put in this?”

Jake laughed when you winced after the first sip of your drink, clinking his solo cup against yours.

“Beats me, kitkat,” he said. “You know I measure liquor with my heart.”

“Should start measuring with your liver,” you said, taking another drink anyway. “Lordy. I'm gonna be slap-out drunk after one drink.”

He cackled. “Slap out? That's weird. You're funny, honey.”

You grinned at the sloppy kiss he bestowed on your cheek as he went to rejoin the party, knowing Jake was well on his way to being slap-out drunk already. Most of the partygoers were in various states of intoxication, whether from the counter littered with half-empty bottles of booze or the weed that was being “discreetly” smoked in the back yard. One of the boys' friends had planned this bash to celebrate the beginning of the season at the haunted house attraction they worked for; this was sort of their last hoorah before nights and weekends became dedicated to scaring the bejeezus out of people for the next two months. You knew your boys were looking forward to getting back to work, and even though you weren't the biggest fan of haunted houses, you were happy to come and celebrate this year's reign of terror on the folks of your small town. 

You fished a Corona out of the cooler and went in search of your boyfriend, weaving through rooms filled with people talking and laughing and singing along to the Ghostbusters theme song playing at a blinding volume. Some were dressed in their costumes for work, getting in the spirit of things, and you politely sidestepped a ghoul and an undead nurse making out in the hallway. You spotted Danny in the living room, sporting a black hoodie and a backwards ball cap that somehow managed to tame his thick head of curls. He was talking animatedly to Sam, who was giving him a vaguely drunk but comically serious look of attention and consideration.

You'd almost made it to them when somebody in a clown mask started razzing the crowd, hollering and getting up in their faces. They all seemed to like it — it was just another day at the office for them, after all — but you stumbled back a little when he turned to you and held his hands up as if to snatch you.

“Hey, Bri, easy on the fright night with my kitkat.”

Your boyfriend’s kind reminder from behind you had Brian backing off with an applogetic laugh.

“Sorry, kid,” he said, muffled through his mask. “Forgot you weren't into all this. My bad.”

“That’s okay,” you said with a smile, thankful for the quick response. The actors who worked at the haunted house were very good about keeping things light and fun for all thresholds of thrill-seeking, even those as low as yours. Still, Danny's hand on your waist was a welcome comfort as Brian went off to scare somebody else.

“Thanks,” you said, turning to Danny. “I guess I should be used to this sort of thing by now.”

He smiled. “No sweat, kitkat. Brian's just funning you, but it's okay if you don't like it.”

You handed him his beer, and he accepted it with a word of thanks.

“This is my last one tonight, though,” he said, looking at your cup with a wry smile. “Somebody’s gotta drive us home, and if you're drinking some shit Jake made, no way should you be behind the wheel.”

Sam held out his hand for a taste of his brother's concoction, and when you let him have some, he coughed and spluttered.

“God damn, kitkat,” he said as you and Danny laughed. “You’re gonna be on the floor after that.”

“That’s the plan, Sammy boy,” you said cheerfully. You knocked back another swig and shuddered with the acrid taste. “Goes down real smooth.”

Danny chuckled and hugged you close to his side. “Having fun, kitkat?”

“Yeah,” you said with a smile. “Are you?”

He hummed in agreement around a sip of his beer. “It’s fun to be back with everybody. It's gonna be a good season, I think.”

The music crescendoed, almost rattling the windows with the volume of the synth.

“Do you know who you are yet?” you asked.

Danny leaned closer to hear you over the noise. “Do I know what?”

You stood on tiptoe and leaned on his arm. “Do you know what part you're playing yet? At work?”

He nodded. “Ah. Yeah. Werewolf again. It was such a big hit last year that they want to keep it around.”

You gave him a cheeky smile and a kiss. “It was a big hit for me too.”

He pinked a little, liking the compliment and the reminder of how you'd met. 

“Glad you're happy, sweetheart,” he said, a little bashful. 

Some of his friend wanted him to play a game of darts with them, and you stole one last kiss before you sent him on his way. You knew enough of his coworkers to hang out on your own, and the Kiszkas were milling around somewhere; you went to mingle and talk to some of the friends you'd made over the last year as you'd frequented the haunted house in the off season of repairs and updates.

Cindy, one of the girls who’d worked the zombie maze last year, took you by the arm and let you to where she and a couple other girls were messing around with tarot cards in the dining room.

“Your turn, kitkat,” she said, ushering you into the chair at the table laid with cards and fairy lights. “Time to seek your fortune.”

The girl telling fortunes shuffled the cards and fumbled a few with tipsy hands, and you laughed.

“Off to a good start, I see,” you teased.

“Just you wait,” she said with a grin. She laid three cards in front of you, and you watched curiously as she presented the lovers upside down, the tower, and the moon.

Your draw earned a low chorus of “oohs” from the girls around you. You didn't have the slightest idea what the cards meant and looked around at their faces to see what you could glean from their expressions.

“Bad news?” you asked.

Cindy gave you an uncertain gesture with her cup. “Dunno, kitkat. Looks like your love life is gonna get fucked up, your carefully laid plans are gonna get blown to shit, and you're in for some fear and confusion.”

“Aw, what the fuck?” you protested with a laugh. “Gimme some new ones. I don't like those.”

She waggled her fingers at you. “The cards tell all, babe. Better get with it.”

You let someone else have a turn, and though you enjoyed spending time with your friends, you couldn't help thinking about the cards you'd been given. You didn't want your love life to implode; you liked it just the way it was. 

When the girls pulled out a Ouija board, you declined being haunted and excused yourself to find Danny again. He was out on the porch, smoking a cigarette and finishing off his beer; you snuggled close to him in the chilly night air, thankful for his warmth.

“Saw you in there with Cindy,” he said. His handsome features were sharp in the purple lights strung overhead. “What were y’all getting into?”

“The future,” you said mysteriously.

He smiled. “Oh yeah? What'd you find out?”

You downed the last of your drink. “Well, we're about to break up, and then I'm gonna explode and die, probably.”

He laughed. “Well damn, honey. Is that all?”

“That’s all she wrote,” you agreed. 

He leaned his elbows on the railing, looking out at the spooky decorations in the yard, and you hugged his arm.

“Dan?”

“Hm?”

“I don't wanna break up and explode and die.”

He turned his face to yours, nudging the bridge of his nose against your cheek. “We’re not gonna break up, kitkat.”

“Are you sure?” you asked, half-serious. Maybe — certainly — it was the alcohol making your head fuzzy and your emotions wobbly, and you knew you were worried way too much about some drunken tarot reading that none of you had done correctly anyway. But you still wanted reassurance, and as he always did, Danny gave of his kindness and patience very generously.

“Kitkat,” he said gently. He brushed his thumb over your cheek. “I’m sure, sweetheart. I'd have to tear my heart out to ever live without you. You hear me?”

You blossomed under his touch, leaning close. “I hear you. I love you, Danny.”

He kissed you, and you felt his smile. “I love you, my sweet kitkat.”

You shared a cigarette under the soft violet lights, talking about the upcoming season and your plans for your anniversary that was only a few weeks away. 

“I think we should make it official and start a family,” he said.

You blushed, partly out of surprise and partly out of some insane pleasure at the idea. Of course you weren't ready for kids and he was only messing with you, but you didn't mind the thought of starting a family with him one day.

“Little Danny junior, huh?” you teased gently.

He grinned. “Later, kitkat. Let me marry you first. But maybe we could get a puppy and start practicing.”

You laughed. “Okay, honey. I like that idea. And the one about you marrying me.”

He pulled you snug against him. “I’m working on it. But, you know, rings that a haunted house actor and part time drummer can afford are kinda scarce.”

You slipped your hand under the purple lights on the railing and showed him a light resting on your ring finger.

“There,” you said. “Found a free one.”

He chuckled and kissed you. “You sure are silly, kitkat. I love you. And your free ring. It's very generous of you to find one.”

“Just doing my part,” you said, smiling up at him. You untangled your hand from the lights to brush your fingers over the curls that peeked out from his ball cap. “I love you too.”

When you ventured back to the party, you found that most everybody had settled out in the back yard for a showing of some horror movie on the projector. You and Danny found a spot on the grass to watch, and the Kiszkas joined you. You hoped it would turn out to be a slasher, since you were getting braver with that kind of scary flick, but you quickly found out it was something about ghosts or demons; you didn't watch it closely enough to find out. You hadn't quite gotten over your innate scaredy-cat nature to handle that kind of movie yet. Danny was absorbed in the movie and talking to the boys about it as they all enjoyed it, so he didn't notice that you were hiding behind your hands for a large portion of it.

Halfway through, when the movie was paused to let people refill drinks and snacks, Danny did lean over to check on you.

“How’s it going?” he asked. “This one’s not so bad, is it?”

“Um...” You didn't want to spoil something he was obviously enjoying, but you’d just about reached your limit for terror, even on a movie he thought was tame.

His expression softened with chagrin and worry. “Aw, honey. You don't like it, do you?”

His understanding made you brave enough to tell him the truth. “Not... not really,” you said apologetically. “I’m sorry, Danny.”

He shook his head. “You don't have to apologize, kitkat. I'm sorry I didn't notice earlier. We can go home if you want.”

You looked up as he stood. “Are you sure? I don't mind staying if you want to finish the movie.”

He offered you a hand up. “I don't want to stay if it's scaring you, honey. I'm happy to go home if you're ready.”

You took his hand, grateful for his kindness to you, and you said your goodbyes to the Kiszkas and the rest of your friends. The boys gave you some ribbing about still being a scaredy-cat, but you knew it was in good fun.

On the way home, you and Danny stopped to get something to eat and ended up camped out in the living room at the house he shared with the Kiszkas. You divvied up your Taco Bell orders as Danny queued something up on the tv.

“I think this one's a little more your speed, kitkat,” he said. “But you let me know if it’s too scary.”

The opening to Halloweentown started to play, and you nudged your elbow against his ribs and earned a sweet little giggle.

“Sorry, kitkat. I’m only teasing.”

He consoled you with a kiss, and as you sat together and enjoyed the movie that was indeed much more your taste, you found yourself watching him more than your were watching the movie. 

He chewed on his straw. “What?” He offered you his Baja Blast. “You want some?”

You smiled. “No, but thank you. I’m just admiring my lovely boyfriend.”

He grinned. “Yeah, I'm a real hunk eatin’ my weight in tacos and nacho fries.”

You patted his shoulder. “I like a man with a healthy appetite.”

He laughed and gave you a goofy smooch. “Good to know, baby.”

You broke out the candy after a while, grabbing a bag of the fun-sized Skittles and Hershey bars you’d been planning to save for trick or treaters in your more proactive moments. But you could buy more, and the boyish smile on Danny’s face when you tossed the bag in his lap was priceless.

“See, this is why I keep you around,” he said. He fished out a candy for you. “Your special candy, my sweetheart.”

You smiled when you took the Kit-Kat that looked impossibly small in his big hand. “Thanks, honey. I guess it is my special candy, isn't it?”

You broke off half of it and gave it back to him. 

“I didn't mean for you to share it with me,” he said, amused and kind. “But thank you.”

You gave him a quick kiss, candy-sweet and full of the easy love you shared, and he smiled as he pulled you close and deepened it.

“I love you, kitkat,” he said. “You know that, don't you?”

There was no way for you not to know. In his kindness and patience, his selflessness and sweet nature, Danny showed you he loved you until you thought your heart would burst with it.

“Yeah,” you said softly. You smiled. “I know it. I love you too.”

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[slippytapeworms]

Jonathan Davis + Head + Munky -> scenarios/head cannons

Jonathan Davis -> head cannons

before jonathan and you got together, he would always be a bit of a shy and self doubting king. always listening to you whenever you talked and pitching in on your conversations as you were on the record producing team.

jon was always overjoyed whenever you would head over to the studio during the early days of korn. (he always tried to hide his bright smile whenever he saw you sitting on a couch in the recording booth.) man was grateful for your supportiveness towards the band.

after their successful self titled album, he decided to finally ask you out with some encouragement from his fellow band mates and he asked you out when he had gotten drunk and you were dragging him home.

scenario :

jon's arm was slung over your shoulders while you held him up as he was drunk off his ass where he could barely walk. it was the celebration for their first album's' release and everyone decided to get drunk at some bar.

unfortunately you had to get stuck with dragging jonathan home as he was a bit of a lightweight. jon was leaning heavily onto you and muttering about something that you couldn't quite hear, however you could see his face was flushed red from your closeness.

"hey y/n?" he called out to you, his voice slurred obviously as he looked up at you, a gleam in his eyes. you let out a hum, noting that you were listening. "you know i've been thinking about you a lot, and i..."

he stops walking which makes you stop too as he looks down at the ground, flushed. "is something wrong?" you ask before he cuts you off and just kisses you. the kiss was gentle and not forceful at all, him giving you ways to pull away if you wanted to.

as he pulls away he looks into your eyes with the most sincere look in his eyes. "you don't have to say anything... i understand if you don't like me like that, but I just want you to know that I like you." he looks back down at the ground again and kicks his feet slightly. "I hope this doesn't make things awkward between us."

you take him by surprise and you give him a kiss of your own, he, surprised at first, kisses back sloppily.

after that you two became a couple. jonathan loved holding hands and you giving him small pecks in public. he felt like the luckiest guy on the planet around you.

sometimes when you two were cuddling he would start twirling your hair around his fingers instead of his own hair. once in a while kissing your brow.

jonathan wasn't that much jealous of a person. he would never be jealous of his friends being friendly with you, because he trusted them whole heartedly.

while the band was recording their second album 'life is peachy', the band had written a song called a.d.i.d.a.s. (😬) no, that song wasn't about promoting adidas. whenever you were in the studio as the band was performing the song, jon would give you subtle looks as he sang the lyrics. you always noticed whenever he did that.

whenever he came back from tour, his first priority would be getting in bed with you and ya know ... he kissed every single place he could reach and kept whispering how much he had missed you. after that it would be showers, kisses, hugs.

Brian ''Head'' Welch -> head cannons

you had met brian while the both of you were at a guitar store. brian was there because he needed to buy guitar strings since all his backups had snapped. him and his starting out band was touring through the area.

scenario :

as he was browsing through the sections, he noticed you struggling to pick out a guitar pick. brian walked up beside you. "you play?" you turned to look at him, surprised that someone was talking to you. you shake your head, no.

"it's for a friend of mine. they asked me to buy one suitable for their guitar, but i have no idea what kind they want..."

brian smirks. "what kind of guitar does your friend have?"

brian helped you pick out a guitar pick and you two engaged in friendly banter until the two of you went to the cash register. you paid for the pick but when it was brian's turn, he didn't have enough money to buy the strings.

he knew this touring didn't give the most money, but he couldn't play without guitar strings. that's when you decided to pay instead of him.

brian was shocked when you offered to do that. you didn't even know him for christ sakes. however he accepted it and decided to pay you back somehow.

you two kept in touch over the months, sometimes meeting eachother, you going to his band's concerts, getting high together, you persuading him to play his guitar for you. (he always thought it was a bit embarrassing but when he saw your dreamy gaze while he played, he quickly got over it.

after a while of hanging out, he developed a crush on you. (all his friends thought it was about time.) so when you two were getting high, he decided to be bold.

scenario :

you were laying sprawled out on the couch while brian was sitting on the floor next to you. he was pulling at your fingers as he was holding your hand. brian was just admiring your hand in his high state.

"what are you doing??" you ask him, but he doesn't stop.

"nothing..." he drags out the ending of the word, smirking at you. as he's thinking, he takes off one of his metal rings and slips it onto your finger instead, it being a perfect match. "keep it." you just look at him a bit surprised.

"are you serious? i can keep it?" brian nods and looks up at you, his smirk still permanent.

"it'll always remind you of me, won't it?" he teases before leaning in slowly. you reciprocate the gesture, leaning in two and the two of you share a kiss.

brian was super happy when you agreed to be in a relationship with him. for some reason he was a super clingy fella. he would hug you from behind and place his chin atop your head. if you two were sitting somewhere he would place his hand on your thigh even around his band mates.

he adores kissing you all over your neck, it's just your sweetest part for him. kissing your stomach, kissing anything really.

you had mentioned how he had a huge ass tongue and because of that he loved teasing you with it. licking your lips while making out, licking your neck and thighs.

he would always let you take the wheel if you wanted to be the dominant one. brian didn't mind one bit, he still loved you all the same.

James ''Munky'' Shaffer -> head cannons

the cutest son of a bitch.

you met munky working as a staff worker, setting up equipment for concerts and shows. munky was a bit shy to approach you first so he would just stare at you from afar, silently admiring you. once you caught him watching you and he quickly turned away, going back to tuning his guitar with a flustered face.

one day he decided to finally talk to you, once he did he became way more confident talking with you. munky would come up to you many times before the shows, giving you small gifts. some of them were small rocks with cute little paintings on them. (which he did himself.)

at home you had a specific shelf for all of his gifted rocks and sea shells.

he absolutely adored being around you. he would focus on all of your small habits that you had. how you played with your nails and twirled your hair around your fingers, how you kept your hands in your pockets, playing with your keys slightly.

once he finally confessed, you, of course, accepted. for the first few weeks of dating he would always hold your hand while going anywhere, showering you in kisses, taking you backstage after shows and just making out.

he would love having small little romantic dates together, either if it would be going to a cute café or having a movie night at home with you.

munky loved giving short but passionate kisses, never failing to miss a single spot on your face. he would kiss the ends of your hair strands, almost like he was worshipping them.

his go-to place to put his hands would be to tangle them in your hair and never let go.

speaking about hair. you sometimes convinced him to let you untie his hair and when you did, his hair would be all frazzled out and poofy. you always combed his hair down, being mindful not to comb roughly. he would just sink into your hands as they worked away at his curls, closing his eyes and relaxing.

-> that was all for this post, I'm definitely gonna do a lot more of these in the future. they just take real long to do... hope you guys liked it!!

[eileen-crys]

Happy birthday Freddie! 💕

With nefarious intent, the foursome observed the procession of creatures below them. Meadow and Dique kept eclectic company. Beside them sat an altogether different creature. He appeared as a dragonfly, which indeed he was. Few dragonflies owned names, though this one called himself Herald, in deference to his beloved trumpet, which lay on the grass beside him. Upon meeting the dragonfly, Meadow misheard the name as Harold - and the altered moniker stuck. Harold did not drink. Instead, he stood, stretching his insectile legs, revealing himself as the tallest of the group. "Midnight is not far off", observed the dragonfly. His eyes darted about, taking in the new moon, the surrounding forest and the steady stream of creatures entering the space from every direction. [...]

"What about you, Mustapha? Need a drink?" The fourth companion absorbed their exchange in silence, waving the bottle away with a shake of his head. Mustapha sat with long legs drawn up, chin resting on his knees. From beneath a dark curtain of hair, his pensive gaze fell upon the growing assembly. Mustapha's summons, the previous day, brought the group to this glade, deep in the forest of Petrichor. A grand heist required trustworthy co-conspirators.

This year I celebrate with an illustration that was kindly commissioned me by Craig Mulhall, the author of the novel "The King of Rhye" a Fantasy book based on Queen's songs and lore 🥰 I feel honored and I'm grateful that Craig gave me such freedom for this commission, it's been a lot of fun! I'm still halfway through the book, so -no spoilers!- I wanted to depict its very beginning, with Mustapha (Freddie) together with his friends: the pixies Dique (John) and Meadow (Roger) and the Dragonfly Trumpeter, Harold (Brian), all ready to start their mischievous plan! 😌💕 I hope you'll like this as well and don't forget to check out The King of Rhye and its sequel Metropolis, that just came out!

Here's some steps of the work, if you'd like:

Please do not repost! Reblogs and comments are welcomed 💜

[the-hottest-band-tournament]

Round 7 of The Hottest 80s Bands Tournament

Queen

Defeated opponents: Green Day, Earth, Wind & Fire, The Psychedelic Furs, R.E.M., Duran Duran, INXS

Formed in: 1970

Genres: rock, glam-rock, hard rock, pop-rock, pop, disco

Lineup: Freddie Mercury- vocals 

Brian May- guitar 

John Deacon- bass 

Roger Taylor- drums 

Albums from the 80s: 

The Game (1980)

Hot Space (1982)

Flash Gordon (1982)

The Works (1984)

A Kind Of Magic (1986)

The Miracle (1989)

Propaganda: “HAVE YOU SEEEEN THEMMMM???? these men never lost their looks as they aged. smoking hot 20 somethings to smoking hot 40 somethings. in their own words, "we was glam" and "we were all stunning". all four had impeccable style choices 99% of the time, from leather jackets and wraps to monochrome to undone blazers and ties to brightly coloured /everything/. Deacon changed his hair style every few years and even in just tshirts and booty shorts, never missed. Roger had a sleazy mullet and sunglasses for what felt like forever, hot Persian dad, did not miss. Brian forgot how to fully button shirts. bell bottoms. same hair for 50 years. no misses. even after Freddie got sick and started wearing makeup and had to grow a beard to cover up, MAN NEVER FUCKIN MISSED. he was beautiful to the day he died. and thats not even touching on the leather daddy look from the early 80s.king shit. we love wrinkles and laugh lines in this gd house. if they don't sweep I’m blowing this whole website up we was glam”

“a few years back i was obsessed with these guys and i would find it hard to not have a crush on all of them. in the 80s especially Brian was GORGEOUS.. BEAUTIFUL”

Depeche Mode 

Defeated opponents: Anthrax, Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band, The Kinks, Wham!, Joy Division, Warrant

Formed in: 1980

Genres: Synth-pop, electronic rock, new wave, dark wave, alternative rock

Lineup: Dave Gahan - vocals

Martin Gore - guitar and keyboard

Alan Wilder - drums and keyboard

Andy Fletcher - bass

Albums from the 80s: 

Speak & Spell (1981)

 A Broken Frame (1982)

Construction Time Again (1983)

Some Great Reward (1984)

Black Celebration (1986)

Music for the Masses (1987)

Propaganda: The music. The LOOKS. The voice. (The sexual tension?) And they’re still going strong. My colleague saw them in the UK when they were only starting out and said they were so nervous. I find the juxtaposition of the confidence of their sound (not to mention the black leather) and that anecdote really endearing.

idk how much this counts as propaganda but I feel like it's very important to acknowledge that Depeche Mode specifically makes kinky synth for bisexual sluts. Like that's it, that's the band. They even managed to make their cover of "(Get Your Kicks On) Route 66" sound like it's about selling ass on the interstate. Slutty legends.

Visual propaganda for Queen:

Visual propaganda for Depeche Mode:

[intimidating-fettuccine]

Thanksgiving in the mansion

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I almost took today off because I have a lot of cooking to do, but I got the idea for this and wanted to do this instead. Happy Thanksgiving to all my fellow people that celebrate it, and if you don't celebrate I hope you just have a great Thursday and eat something yummy.

Thanksgiving in the mansion is one of those holidays that almost always turns into absolute chaos. There's people trying to bake and cook things, there's people trying to steal all of the food while it's being baked, and then there are the people who intentionally try and annoy Slender while he's focused on all of his cooking and end up getting whacked with a wooden spoon because they pushed him too much and made him angry. Needless to say, it's your standard holiday in the mansion.

When it comes to food, Slender cooks a FEAST for Thanksgiving and it's one of his favorite holidays because of that. He makes a giant breakfast, he makes appetizers for people throughout the day, and when it comes time for Thanksgiving dinner, that giant, long ass table that everyone sits at is PACKED with yummy delicious foods and desserts, and Slender fucking loves it because cooking is his passion and he would do this every day if he could. There are also so many desserts??? Slender and Tim both make apple pies, Slender makes a pumpkin pie, Jane bakes a cheesecake, Jason bakes an actual cake, and LJ makes a bunch of candies for everyone, they're really lucky the mansion has so many people living there with how much food there is.

Toby is BANNED from the kitchen. Toby is not allowed in the kitchen because he will eat all of the ingredients and food before it's fully ready or on time, and Slender and Tim get tired of yelling at him to stop so he is simply not allowed in the kitchen, much to his disappointment. This leads to people trying to sneak out a few snacks for Toby to try and cheer him up, and then THEY get banned from the kitchen and eventually, everyone is just hungry and grumpy because they can smell all this yummy food and none of them can go in there unless they're part of the cooking team, which none of the people that were stealing food are. 

Also, Slender does the white mom thing of making everyone say one thing they're thankful for before they're allowed to eat dinner. Everyone is sitting down, plates completely filled up, ready to finally gorge themselves on all of this food, and then Slender's like "Now, hold on. None of you have told me anything you're thankful for yet!" And he clasps his fucking hands over his knee as he sits down and waits for every single person to say something, and most of them end up speedrunning through it to get to the food, but he allows it so long as it's an honest answer.

I think after dinner they all probably get pretty comatose from how much food they all ate, and they'll go to the big living room and either take naps together or just watch shows and movies together as a group. I think when they aren't quite as tired, some of the creeps like Jeff, Tim, Toby, Brian, Liu, Natalie, and Pup will go outside and throw around a football or play some soccer or something to relax and have a good time. Sometimes the others will come out and watch or join in, and Slender usually tries to take pictures and videos of it to save it as a good memory for later to reminisce with.

Thanksgiving is one of those days when everyone is getting along and having a good time together, so everyone is usually much friendlier and happier to be in each other's company. It's a day when there's no sadness, or resentment, no inner turmoil. Everyone comes together and bonds as a family and it's a very relaxing, happy experience, and that's the actual main reason that Thanksgiving is Slender's favorite holiday. Not just for the cooking, but the fact that these people he's come to love as his family are all happy, loved, and cared for. If only Toby would keep his hands out of the cake, maybe then Slender could be at complete peace.

[stephaniebrownslover]

Hİİİİ YET ANOTHER ANON

Can I ask about Creepypasta ages headcanons in your main AU??

THANK YOU FROM NOW <333

HIIIIIIII NEW ANON, YOU'RE SO SWEET<3333

Okay thank you so much for asking, you guys are literally spoiling me, like I'm having a little heart attack whenever someone asks me something.

I don't want this post just be numbers so I'll give a random fact about main characters' most important birthday day and something about non-human characters, hope you don't mind. It's mostly angst and I'm so sorry about that.

YOU'RE WELCOME AND I REALLY HOPE YOU LIKE IT<333

I know most of the ages sound ridiculous but it's really hard to attach them all together :(

Characters' Ages And Facts About Main Characters' Most Important Birthday

Au's ships: TicciWork, NinaKate, MaryJane and Bloody Angel(probably should've said this earlier)

Current year: 2014

Main characters

-Jeff The Killer: 20

Jeff got burned at the age of 15, at his most important birthday. His parents were seeing a therapist while Liu was still in prison, and his therapist made a suggestion to Jeff's parents to organize a birthday party for cheering Jeff up. Jeff can never forget the day he was burned alive because his whole life was shaped by it. That's why he hates his own birthday and attacks if anyone tries to celebrate besides Liu.

- Clockwork: 20

Clockwork's most important birthday is the 18th age. Because that was the first year she wasn't on her own. Jeff, Toby, Nina were close friends of Clockwork at the time and each had their own small-scale celebration. For the first time, Clockwork didn't hate her own birthday. That's how she got into the habit of celebrating other people's birthdays, if she felt good about something stupid like that, the people who cared about her might also deserve to feel good in a stupid way, or something like that.

- Hoodie: 25

According to Brian, the most important birthday is the one he celebrated at the age of 10. His family had taken him to see a theater as a gift, and little Brian was so impressed that he was literally obsessed with theater performances and musicals after that show. Even though 10-year-old Brian is the reason why he is where he is right now, Hoodie never blames him for following his dream.

- Masky: 26

His most important birthday is the 20th, when he started working under Slenderman's orders. The year he realized that his life would be like this and that he would have to spend more than he hoped in this job, that fighting would only cause him to die sooner. Obviously, he didn't care about himself, he'd rather die than live this way, but he didn't want to leave Brian alone.

- Ticci Toby: 19

15th birthday. The last year he celebrated with Lyra and his mother since he was a proxy at the age of 16, he celebrated rest of his birthdays as a proxy. Toby doesn't remember all of his memories, and although most of the time his memories are more like pieces, he knows that two women named Lyra and Connie are worth worlds to him. And every time the fragments of that birthday come in front of him, he feels nothing but happiness.

-Eyeless Jack: 21

↺Actually, if he was still alive, he would have been 34. Because he was 21 when he died during the ritual in 1980.

The most important birthday is the year he received the letter of admission to medical school at the age of 18. He had received this letter a few days ago, and he and his family had thrown a big party to celebrate it. Although he spent his 19th birthday, his first year of studying med, with his family, the most important thing for him is his 18th age.

-Jane The Killer: 22

21, when Mary proposed to her on her birthday. Jane was in a very emotionally repressed state after all her trauma, and Mary could no longer control her feelings for her. While Jane and her lover Mary were sitting in a fashionable restaurant, Mary proposed to Jane. And when there was a lot of opposition because the age group was generally old due to the cost of the restaurant, Jane kissed her on the lips so as not to discourage Mary. The best birthday of her life.

-X-Virus: 17

7th age. That year, he had gone to the zoo on a school trip and celebrated his birthday with the animals there instead of people. This is the biggest proof that he prefer animals' existence to humans. Of course, he might have been happier if a monkey hadn't stolen his food, but little Cody wasn't mad at the monkey then. And when the monkey saw that Cody was upset later, he gave him some of his food anyway.

-Nina The Killer: 19

16th birthday. She and Jeff hadn't made up yet and it was a day when she was really hurt emotionally by him. Her close friend Kate, who saw this, tried to kill Jeff. Although Nina could hardly stop her, Kate was convinced later and they went to hang out at Kate's special place together. Kate was a really special friend to Nina, and she liked that she knew that Kate opened herself up so much. And when Kate dropped her home in the evening, she found Toby and Clockwork were clumsily trying to celebrate her birthday, she cried because of cuteness.

-Kate The Chaser: 20

The first year she spent with Nina as a lover, 20th age. They had become lovers a few months ago, and unlike other proxies, Kate did not remember anything about her past, so she had no memories to miss. Nina had known her since she found Jeff at the age of 15 and was after him. They became close friends when Kate was 17 and Nina was 16, and they started dating when Nina was 19 and Kate was 20. Their relationship began when Kate took pity on Nina and helped her, and Nina helped her during difficult times where Kate tried to expertize in proxy work. The year they became lovers, Nina organized a special day just for the two of them, knowing that she wouldn't want a big party, and Kate's favorite moment was when they watched the sunset with one head phone.

Main supporting characters

-Homicidal Liu: 18

-Sally: 13

↺If she was still alive, she would have been 55 years old. She died in 1972.

-Ben Drowned: 12

↺If he had continued to live, he would have been 32 years old. He died in 1994.

- Puppeteer: 23

↺ If his heart was still beating, he would have been 37 years old. He died in 2000.

-Zero: 24

-Nurse Ann: 27

↺If her heart had been alive, she would have been 33 years old. She died in 2008.

-Bloody Painter: 17

-Judge Angels: 17

-Mary Vaughn: 22

Supporting characters

-Lulu: 16

-Laughing Jack: 214

↺He was produced in 1800.

-Nightmare Ally: 15

↺If she was still human, she would have been 55 years old. She died in 1974.

- Kagekao: 29

↺If he was still a human, he would have been 34 years old. He died in 2009.

-Rouge: 32

-Jason The Toymaker: 134

↺He was produced in 1880.

-Laughing Jill: 114

↺She was produced in 1900.

Background characters

-Slenderman: 2500+(?)

↺It is not known exactly when he was born, some say that there are drawings of him even in ancient Egypt.

- Emra: 25

↺If she was still alive, she would have been 37 years old. She died in 2002.

-Dr. Smiley: 33

-Cat Hunter: 30

-Zalgo: ?

↺It is estimated that his existence endured back even before the earliest times of humanity.

-Weeping Forest: 16

↺If she had not undergone this change, she would have been 56 years old. She died in 1974.

[deadpanwalking]

The cancellation of the 2024 World Voices festival reminded me that I meant to make a post about this last week, when PEN America announced that it could not hold its annual literary award ceremony because so many authors and translators had withdrawn their submissions.  I don’t doubt that there's another post of this sort making the rounds, but since the ceremony was going to be tomorrow, I wanted to celebrate the literary achievements of every Finalist with a demonstrable backbone.

This is a list of writers who acted with integrity by withdrawing their work from the American subset of PEN International, an organization which has served as a bridge between literature and human rights for over a century.  PEN America has largely built its reputation by supporting persecuted writers, and has let down the entire international literary community by failing to take a meaningful public stance against the ongoing genocide of the Palestinian people. 

The following titles have been withdrawn from consideration at the request of the authors and translators:

PEN/Jean Stein Book Award

To a book-length work of any genre for its originality, merit, and impact, which has broken new ground by reshaping the boundaries of its form and signaling strong potential for lasting influence.

Hangman by Maya Binyam 

Biography of X by Catherine Lacey

Poem Bitten by a Man by Brian Teare

Blackouts by Justin Torres

PEN/Robert W. Bingham Prize for Debut Short Story Collection

To an author whose debut collection of short stories represents distinguished literary achievement and suggests great promise for future work.

The Sorrow of Others by Ada Zhang

PEN/Hemingway Award for Debut Novel

To a debut novel of exceptional literary merit.

Promise by Rachel Eliza Griffiths

Natural Beauty by Ling Ling Huang

PEN/Voelcker Award for Poetry Collection

To a poet whose distinguished collection of poetry represents a notable and accomplished literary presence.

Couplets by Maggie Millner

suddenly we by Evie Shockley

PEN Translation Prize

From From by Monica Youn

For a book-length translation of poetry from any language into English.

Owlish by Dorothy Tse translated from the Chinese by Natascha Bruce

Trash by Sylvia Aguilar-Zéleny translated from the Spanish by J.D. Pluecker

[crushedsweets]

It’s that time of year so I gotta ask;

What Christmas gifts do you see the Creeps getting for each other if they did or were capable of celebrating Christmas?

BEAUTIFUL ASK BEAUTIFUL ASK OK IM EXCITED. merry christmas guys :)

btw: the proxies, natalie, nina, and jack are often in contact

liu, jeff, ben, jane, sally, lulu, and ann do their own thing with their own families (or theyre undead and cant comprehend time passing.. or have nobody...etc)

GIFTS:

brian would try to get something small for a lot of the creeps (the proxies, natalie, jack, nina). candy, candles, lighters, watches, pocket knives, etc

tim might give cards but like... he'd only get brian and maybe toby a real gift, again something like cologne or whatever 'manly' shit LOL. gloves etc

toby would try to get something bigger for his friends. he's petty so he'd get tim something like socks. but he'd steal makeup for nina, a bike he would fix up and paint for natalie, CDs and tapes and stuff for jack, hoodies and hats for Kate. he'd buy brian a gag shirt every goddamn year. something with a stupid quote or ugly photo. every. year. brian eats it up everytime. also gets ben gag gifts, but really cheap ones cuz he..doesnt really use anything... but he likes to laugh

kate doesn't get anyone anything, but she like. cries really easily when she receives something. not like bawling 'OMG THANK U' but like she sniffles and has to walk away (if they don't hug her first) and then come back to say thanks. toby thinks its hilarious so he'd never leave her out even if she doesn't get him something

jack would have to ask nina and natalie if he could use their address to order gifts from amazon with his dark web money..... natalie is a safer bet, but he doesnt trust her not to open her and toby's gift, so he sends that to nina, then ninas gift to natalie, and its kind of a pain in the ass. but he's hella awkward and just outright is like 'can you guys just tell me what you want' so he'll get them exactly what they ask for. even if its kind of expensive. he makes plenty of money ...

natalie only buys stuff for toby, nina, and jack. but she'll get cards for jeff, ben, and kate. she spends a lot of time in thrift stores to get toby and nina stuff specifically for their style and size, and would even learn to do basic tailoring (like hemming) for it. she'd also paint something for/with nina, but she'd feel awkward doing it for toby. she'd get jack candles and pillows and like.. stuff to make his cabin feel/smell nice. since he can't really see it. ALSO AUDIO BOOKS FOR HIM.

nina goes all out. she's broke as fuck during november/december cuz of it. she's buying expensive jewelry, perfume/cologne, hoodies, shoes, consoles. she was fucking SPOILED growing up by her dad, and loves giving it back. one year she'd be dramatic as fuck and buy a whole ass console for kate and toby at the cabin. then realize toby and kate now wont text her back cuz theyre fucking gaming. LMFAOOOO . she'd make a ton of kandi and paint shirts and write letters and stuff.

liu would buy nina something nice, flowers and earrings and hair products and stuff. he'd mail jane+mary a card and chocolates, visit his parents graves and go see some cousins/aunts/grandparents for the holidays. he'd be out of state for the holidays, every time. he can't stand to spend the holidays alone

jane goes all out with her family too. she spends christmas eve with her family(and brings mary), aka her grandparents and aunts/uncles. she spends christmas day with mary's family. she would send liu a card back out of respect. she'd also spoil sally. sally is completely content spending christmas alone while jane goes to mary's family, but jane sets up netflix and toys and dresses and stuff for her.

sally lives with jane/mary fulltime, but she refuses to go anywhere other than the forest and jane's house. she'll draw cards for jane and mary every year and help them decorate. jane is grateful for sally, since she doesn't know if she'd have it in her to decorate without a child's joy motivating her

jeff doesnt do shit. he gets kinda depressed and hangs out with ben. might snag a card and some chocolates for natalie, MAYBE. if he's still "with" nina, he'll steal random stuff for her but not take into account her actual tastes. but him and ben just sit around and game while jeff smokes and eats hella . LOL

ann, lulu, sadie, and dina don't celebrate at all. again, they're stuck in timeloops or constant hazes, or have legitimately no interest in the holiday

extra random stuff:

nina forces kate, toby, and natalie into ice skating every year. photo booths, driving to see christmas lights.

toby tries forcing everyone to go over to jack's cabin ..cuz he doesn't wanna invite them to his LMFAOOOO. he says it's nina and brian's idea, but he's the one who sets the date and texts invites. him, jack, and natalie put together some dinner and everyone just kinda hangs out and eats.

nina decorates the fuck out of her apartment and goes to toby's cabin to put up some stuff. she hangs mistle toe and literally nobody listens to the 'rule' but she's always like "omg...kateeee...you and i just so happen to be under the mistle toe... >.<... what now..?" LMFAOOO

anyway merry christmas and happy holidays guys :) have a good day luv u

[that-one-enby-ranger]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROGER TAYLOR

It is Roger Meddows Taylor's birthday today so of course I have to make it all of yours problems and yap about it.

We've gotta start off with how talented this man is. He is the KING of drummers in my eyes and will always be. Watched a full concert today to celebrate, and I was just focusing on how fast he could move, and he wasnt always looking at the drums. And his little solo in the Montreal concert and I was staring at him and oh my gosh he can move fast. He looked tired afterwards. And his voice is amazing in its own unique way. I love it. I love listening to live songs and looking out for his baking vocals. I died everytime. My favourite song to hear live is Crazy Little Thing Called Love just because of Roger's rEaDy FreDdIe 🤠. I die every single time I hear and go insane you don't even know. His backing vocals are just *mwah* CHEF'S kiss 🤌.

And his high pitched screaming in In the Lap of the Gods is amazing. Theres a video of Roger Taylor blessing your ears for an hour and a half and it's just him screaming in that song and it really does bless your ears.

Plus he's got solo albums. And unless I'm horribly wrong, he has the most solo albums out of the entire band. I don't have a favourite album but a couple of my fav songs are The Key, Man on Fire and Strange Frontier.

He's written lots of hits and great songs including Radio Gaga, A Kind of Magic, One Vision, These are the Days of Our Lives, The Invisible Man and of course, I'm in Love With My Car.

Then there's the underrated songs that I love like Drowse, Action This Day, Ride the Wild Wind and others that I forgot and I cant be bothered to look up.

He also studied dentistry in uni. I don't know if he would have actually ended up being a dentist if he hadn't joined. But just think if he did.

THIS MAN RIGHT HERE COULD HAVE BEEN YOUR DENTIST SHOVING HIS HANDS IN YOUR MOUTH.

I just watched a video while writing this called the genius of Roger Taylor and they talked about how good he is on drums and used drum talk that even though I play drums, I haven't been playing long enough to understand, so they go into more depth on how talented he is on the drums. Its called The Genius Of Roger Taylor by Drumeo.

And you've gotta talk about his heart warming lyrics.

"With my hand on my grease gun,

Ooooo it's like a disease son."

Magical.

And what makes that even better is that sometimes during concert he would mix the lyrics around, whether on accident or purpose, I don't know, but he would say "with YOUR hand on MY grease gun." Life changing.

But seriously you wanna know some good lyrics listen to the whole of These Are The Days of Our Lives. And then try not to cry.

Moving on from talent, we gotta talk about some more amazing things about him.

He's a funny little boy. Watch some clips of him and you'll see what I mean. I don't care if you don't agree with me, I know he's a funny little boy.

"He threw my best fucking pair of maracas. Great sounding maracas, took me HOURS to steal them, and he just..." I can't write the next part without it seeming like it's a roleplay because it's a motion he makes of throwing stuff away in the air.

Anyways, it was his idea to dress up in drag for the I Want to Break Free video and that was one of his best ideas ever. Rogerina looked amazing.

What a goddess. And when I Want to Break Free got canceled in America, he would help stand up for the video and wouldnt feel ashamed that they did it and said they had a great time and it was fun.

And somewhat similarly, but more importantly, after Freddie died, and the press were being homophobic perverts and saying stuff like Freddie had it coming, or he lived a promiscuous life style, Roger (and Brian) would go on TV and stand up for Freddie and would be like "thats not true at all, you fucking pricks." That's not what they actually said. And he would then go on about how the press were massive dicks to Freddie while trying to get into his private life especially towards the end.

Hes adorable. Sweetie. My love.

"I'd like to make it.. naked 😏, and raw."

"1 and 3/7ths sugars please." "No one and 3/7ths 😠"

"I've just written this new one, WHICH IM REALLY EXCITED ABOUT"

"ITS PERFECT"

Just some quotes there.

Also, APPARENTLY, my sources are shit, I've only heard this once, has not been backed up, but I'm including it anyways, but apparently when Roger wasn't allowed to have Stone lions out the front of his house, he thought outside the box and put up hundreds of glow and the dark gnomes.

He also apparently had to legally fight his neighbour to keep his giant statue of Freddie Mercury he had in his backyard because the neighbour APPARENTLY thought that it was "rUiNinG tHe laNdScApe"

He kissed Brian when he was drunk.

He was called sex on legs.

Grew a beard because people kept mistaking him as a girl.

His eyes.

"There was lots of sex and drugs. Actually there wasn't that much sex and ... Well there wasn't much drugs"

There's also some lovely sad stories with him. Mainly the 300 yards and I don't feel like crying again so I'm not gonna write it out.

I'm gonna stop this here because my finger feels weird from having a plaster on it for three days and I wanna focus on more Roger videos that I've been watching in the background for about an hour now. I'm just gonna say he is shemxy.

And then you've got this:

Love him. Appreciate him. I'm gonna marry him one day, mark my words.

There is a lot more on him. This is all I've got. For now.

[medusas-musings]

YOUR BRIAN QUINN X READER ONESHOT WAS SO GOOD, HELLO?? Anyways, I was wondering if it was possibly to do a Q x Gender Neutral reader? Nothing fancy but maybe and established relationship and some fluff y'know?

THANK YOU????? OMG?????????? Anyway I think I'm gonna try to write in a more Gender Neutral friendly way anyway for one shots, everyone deserves to fantasize about their celebrity crushes <3 Hope y'all enjoy!!

Movie Night (Brian “Q” Quinn x GN!Reader)

Summary: Q is late from filming. Again. But you could never stay mad at him, it's almost impossible. Slight angst-ish??? But overall fluff!

As I finish washing the dishes, I can't help but shut the door to the dishwasher with a swift thud, causing some of the dishes inside to rattle. My lungs fill slowly then release the air in huff as I look at the clock to the microwave: 11:23 pm. I can feel my heart drop with every minute that passes across the face of every clock in our house. Q was late, again. But this time, it hurt just a little bit more.For the past month, Brian’s been staying later on set, whether it was to catch up on busy work or to simply squeeze in some quality time with his friends. At first, I really didn’t mind; I knew what I signed up for when it came to dating someone who has their own tv show. However, one hour late becomes three hours late and I end up waiting by the phone in bed for a “coming home” text from him. He still cares, I know that at least. There’s been a lot of morning coffee talks about my feelings and I know he had his full attention on me and my new worries. He suggested that the next night he’ll get home as soon as he can and we can have a cozy movie night in. It was such a simple idea but I couldn’t help but feel a comfort wash over me. I had set up our living room with warm blankets, lavender scented candles and popcorn that’s lost its heat. The screen of our TV was on a selection of movies I picked out for the night, but it’s been replaced with the scrolling Roku cityscape. Now as I find myself trying to distract myself with any busy work in the house, the soft fuzzies I had for this plan have been replaced with anger. Before I was about to pull out a broom from our pantry to start sweeping, I heard the locks of the door move around. Most days this was music to my ears but right now it was nails on a chalkboard. I wait for the door to open then close behind him; I don’t need the neighbors to hear me chew this man out. “You are…” I glance at the clock on the microwave again and do some mental math before continuing my sentence. “Three hours and 30 minutes late, give or take.” I inform him, my voice calm but laced with ice. I close the door to the pantry and start to walk toward the entryway, my tone shifting to release the pent up frustration from the hours. “Really, Brian, I get you work hard and can’t always text me but you can’t-”

As I turn the corner to look at him, the first thing that catches my eyes are the flowers. They’re classic roses, a flower I enjoy because it’s safe for our cats. The next thing I see is the plastic bag in his other hand, stacks of styrofoam boxes inside. I recognized the smell instantly as one of my favorites from a local restaurant nearby Q and I had our first date at. There was a second bag, this one from the grocery store down the street; I could see from the top of it a bag of one of my favorite sweets and a pint of ice cream clinging to the bottom of the bag. Brian’s face is what I noticed last, and it nearly broke my heart. His eyebrows were together and his eyes filled with anxiety. The confidence he usually carries about him is dissipated, as if it was gone for the season. I didn’t want to immediately forgive him, but seeing him so worried about receiving my disapproval almost made all of my anger vanish.

“Baby, I know.” Q finally manages to find his words. “I’m late, but I promise I didn’t mean it. I really wanted to get home on time but the producers were up my ass about some final details for the season.” He walks towards me, as if he’s holding out his hand to pet a snarling dog. I didn’t let my expression soften yet; I wanted to see just how much he was willing to put into this little apology.“You couldn’t call?” I ask, finding an excuse to let my anger be for more than nothing for a second longer. My eyes try to stay off the gifts, not wanting to put my guard down just yet. “I wanted to, I promise. But once I realized I was still there at 9 I couldn’t think of anything but rushing around to get ya all this.” His broad shoulders raise, motioning to everything in his arms. I can’t help but imagine myself there instead. “I guess trying to make it up to you worsened the damage, I’m sorry. He notices me looking at the ground, avoiding his eye contact. His confidence was returning; he knew I didn’t want to be mad at him, and he knew exactly how to fix it. He gently lays the bags onto the ground and walks over to me, placing the bouquet onto the end table next to us. His arms now vacant, Q’s places his hands onto my cheeks, gently tilting my head up to meet his. His eyes had that special glimmer of softness to them, one I’ve only noticed when he looks at me. I pursed my lips slightly, trying to keep a serious nature to my face, but the mask was slipping. And he knows it. A small smirk creeps up onto his face, his facial hair framing his smile perfectly. At times like this, I hated how gorgeous his eyes were. “I’ll let you pick the movie.” he teases, his lips forming a real smile. I can’t fight the gentle smile that appears on my face as he leans down to give me a gentle kiss onto my forehead. My hands snake their way around Q’s waist and I tilt my head up to place a chaste kiss onto Q’s cheek, a white flag in this battle that’s only transpired in my head. “You’re too good at diffusing my anger, you know that?” I ask, moving one of my hands to his face, the fuzz of his beard scraping against my palm. He smiles back at me. “I hate seeing you angry with me, Sweetheart, I gotta do what I can to fix it.” He breaks away from our embrace and grabs the bags he carried into our home. “Look, you go relax in our living room that you worked so hard to make all cozy and I’ll get these roses in a vase for you and get our dinner situated, don’t you do another chore, baby!” I smile at him walking to our couch and sit down, getting myself comfortable with the blankets and pillows. I watch as Q puts the ice cream away and fills a vase with water, looking at his phone from time to time about how to properly prepare flowers for a vase. Watching him try so hard to salvage this night made every angry thought I had 30 minutes ago seem so irrational. I wondered how I could ever be angry at the man who fills my heart with so much adoration and makes my world more colorful. In about 5 minutes, he shuffles into our living room area placing down the containers of our dinner onto the glass coffee table and lays a couple bags of snacks on the floor by our feet. From muscle memory, I cuddle into him putting my head onto his chest and then feel his arm wrap around my shoulders. He gives me a kiss on the top of my head as I take in his scent and I couldn’t describe it as any more than just “home”.

At this moment, I understand now that I wasn’t mad at Q, I was really having withdrawal symptoms of him. Getting my fix of my beloved set everything right in my world, and it felt as if anger wasn’t a feeling, but a distant memory.

[psychelis-new]

pick a pile: "Your next birthday"

take a breath and choose the photo/number that calls you the most to read about your next birthday and what may happen for you on that day (or in relation to that day). for some of you, the reading could also refer to the start of your new life, your new self, a new cycle: so yes it could be an actual birthday or just a figurative one (see accordingly to your situation).

side note. blame red velvet for posting the mv for their "birthday" song the day I wondered about making a pac with this subject lol. this aside, my wish is to try to make you smile and hopefully not spoiler too much but still make you excited about good things coming exactly for you, to celebrate you.

don’t take the reading too seriously. only take what resonates with you and leave the rest. remember that is a general reading and some things may not resonate with you. remember things can always change and you're in charge of your life.

(photos found on unsplash)

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pile 1

Pile 1, I'm super excited and I honestly cannot wait to start your reading so here I am. I think things on your birthday will go extremely well and unexpectedly, like there's gonna be some kind of surprise, also from the Universe. Just keep being optimistic and think for the better (no fake positivity, be positive about that day and yourself, especially if it's a day you don't enjoy particularly. You deserve some type of celebration no matter if you think the opposite or that you're a failure: you're not). My heart chakra is opening (I almost wrote it with an H? "Hope" is your word. Or maybe "happening"). I think a good news will come for you, maybe even just the wishes of someone unexpected (maybe from your past) or you'll get to celebrate with your fav people (or new ones you love and love you back). It's gonna be a very successful day for you (maybe also concretely, not just emotionally: like you may get some improvement in your finances). TBH it feels like you've asked for something to the moon, maybe a wish or a manifestation, and she's bringing it to you. It's gonna be the start of a new life experience, and even if you cannot see it now, it's gonna sign the start of your transformation into your best self; your life is entirely transforming with you. Be positive about it and trust. You will be able to see the whole picture soon but remember every good path must be walked step by step, especially when we cannot see much of it. Your Guides are by your side, and you have all that you need to start this journey. Remember to take care of yourself and don't eat too much or stress too much: take a breath, take your time. You don't have to rush anything, you have time to do everything slowly. You have time (x2). It's gonna be okay. You're gonna get back what you gave. Start having faith and believing in yourself and Universe. And be patient please: rushing things, being impatient, will only cause you more pain. Trust. It's all okay.

songs: funny happy birthday song*; god gave me you | blake shelton; still | brian mcknight *channeled in my mind. don't listen to this one if you aren't feeling too well? (even if it's just pure irony about life and lol this could be for me as well thanks guides). honestly it could be your mood talking (are you a little sad, depressed, lonely? or indeed you don't like much about your birthday as it makes you think about the negative sides of your life. don't worry you have time to make it better and I think this is the right one)

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pile 2

Your reading is really something: y'all need to chill lol; beware of the TW signs btw. You're gonna be at the center of the attention, pile 2. As it's supposed to be on your day. I think it may be a passionate day too, or even a romantic one for some of you (especially if you have a romantic partner, they may take you out on a special date or even vacation/trip). It's gonna be emotionally fulfilling; probably, again for some, even physically (no details, sorry it's a reading for everyone). You may be going to a club with your friends (and maybe find or meet someone interesting there) or just simply enjoy your time dancing at home or in any other place (see the songs' section for further infos), cause music and dancing stand out a lot here. You may be doing a lot on your day, like you're booked by your friends, partner, family, colleagues, school/class mates... or even you have plan to celebrate a bit by yourself as well, maybe shopping or going to a spa or something. I feel like you'll need to take a break at some point (but for a good cause lol y'all reckless). Yeah, on that day your only goal is gonna be to have fun and enjoy, whatever that means for you. Being a collective reading, there's gonna be people focusing on themselves and maybe partying with friends and family, and others partying a lot more... you name it. But you're gonna have fun the way you like it, that's for sure. And maybe meet someone too, as I said (ofc only for some, not those in a relationship though). [TW alcohol mention] Beware of not drinking too much cause you may get an headache and that's not what you want (even if it's your day and you want and deserve to celebrate, try to stay balanced -don't wanna sound as your mom but that's a message I got) [/TW]. Also, it's okay if you need to get out to breathe some fresh air, it'll help. You may meet someone there (for a few). Again lot of passion and emotions, you may be trying to improvise something or do something you haven't done before like dancing on a stage in a club, getting attention, and being happy about it. You're totally feeling it. You will dominate your day and enjoy. And you'll take every chances you're gonna be offered, like you're going to start seeing things differently on that day: even something you would have never done (e.g. dancing alone) could bring you something good (e.g. someone you like's attention).

songs: music* | madonna; worship | years & years; because of you | ne-yo (18+) *channeled in my mind (my guides on fire today). I think there might be music involved, dancing with your friends (you may hit a club), or even dancing with your partner (both actual dance or figurative. Now this is a reading for everyone so no details)

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pile 3

Your birthday is gonna be luxurious. You're gonna be the star but differently from the 2nd pile, your energy is more "elegant" (pass me the word, even if it's not right... uhm, reserved? Yeah, kind of). Like, you may be throwing a party and you're ofc gonna be the center of the attention, opening the gifts and all, but you won't be loosing yourself too much. You'll take car eof your guests too, helping them having fun, offering good food, music, planning nice games... I feel grace from you and... you seem composed, regal. You may even wear a small crown and have a white dress. You're the empress, basically. I think something fated or unexpected may happen on that day. Maybe you want to travel somewhere or someone from abroad may come visit you: whatever that is, you're gonna get that. You're gonna get ticket for your dream place or your desire of seeing this person will be manifested. It's gonna be a very happy moment, you'll be moved to tears of happiness. I do feel there's a wish of yours you may have confessed to someone, just a few people though. You're gonna get that even if you won't understand how or why. Maybe, you'll feel like you're not deserving of that. That's not true: your Guides want to take care of you, and also your friends (or the people you confessed this dream of yours) want to celebrate you, so stop self betraying yourself and go on wishing whatever it is that you want. You may even get it. (BTW be open to receiving: it's not up to you to decide if you deserve a gift or not. Let the Universe decide, it knows better and can read you objectively, even when you don't). You can talk with someone in the 3d or ask to the Universe/Guides, you can write (as a Santa's letter), you can hold your vision in your mind... just let your heart be open and stop letting the past hold you back: you can get out of that rut/cycle. End it by being open (with thos eyou trust though: not everyone will want your best, remember that. Trust your guts. even if your Guides are protecting you, just beware). Also, if you don't think your birthday is gonna go well, remember you can make it anyway you want it to be. Ask your Guides for support and positive vibes, and just plan to do something for yourself. You have no idea what can happen the moment you give out some good vibes in the Universe.

songs: imagine | ariana grande; just an illusion | imagination; i love u | the chainsmokers sorry no mind-channeled song for you but I added a 3rd one anyway :)

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pile 4

Your birthday seems freeing. In particular from some kind of weight, maybe even from your past. You're gonna feel relieved. Happy. Calm and content. Serene. I see someone dancing with their arms open in the sun (could be in winter or spring). You're gonna be playful, joyful, maybe even start running around as you haven't done in a while. It's gonna feel like a real new start. You have confidence, you're strong, you know you can do anything and be anyone you want. You'll feel poweful, but not prideful. You'll know it, and that's gonna be enough. You will enjoy your day, alone or with some friends, you'll probably even gift yourself something (some free time, a walk, music, a book...): well done, you deserve that kind of self love and appreciation. You cannot see it now, but there's gonna be a miraculous change in your life, even through a message or news. All very sudden but all very fated. Maybe a fated meeting... could be different things for each of you. But it's gonna be a beautiful surprise, just for you. A great new start, maybe in love or in your creativity. It's a farewell to the old, a total change from what has been, a total complete goodbye to the old cycle. And it's gonna feel so beautifully liberating inside. You know and are aware that you can trust your Guides and inner cycle of friends/fam/people to support you and even if now you can't see much of it, just know that deep inside you're already changing toward that energy. Start looking at what you have, not what you miss, be grateful, embark on this journey knowing your worth and all you have, and remember that things can always change for the better. And you'll be able to receive too. Believe in magic and in your abilities. Start looking inside of yourself and putting a light onto your darkness. You know you can embrace it and make it better. You are that powerful. You don't need to be scared of it, you can hug it, and make it something different from what it's supposed to be. Take care of yourself and remember things may go well even when they seem to (or you perceive them as) go in a negative way. Or you struggle to find the positive side. After your day though, you'll be able to see all this and stop the negative to get to you too much. (angel number 1551) Some of you may come from other piles or you may be attracted to other piles too. Cannot see much more about the actual celebration (or maybe you just like to keep a low profile and spend time by yourself or e.g. meet with a couple of friends for a coffee), I think things may still change and be different for many of you, or the surprise may make the whole day... just know it's gonna be and feel good.

songs: unbelievable | craig david; silver spoon | bts; rescue me | ultra sorry no mind-channeled song for you but I added a 3rd one anyway :)

[nerdygaymormon]

Queer Gospel Music

This past year I came across several songs that I enjoy listening to on Sundays. I created a playlist for myself for Sundays and thought I'd share with y'all.

Yet : Ashley Hess - Ashley Hess was a finalist on the 2019 season of American Idol. I heard her perform this song at the Gather Conference where she introduced it by saying, "The next song that I'm gonna play is a song that I wrote in my lowest time. But it's a song that's so special to me because it was the moment that I felt like I finally came out of hiding, and that the Lord not only saw me, but loved me and embraced me." I can relate so much to that. Plus, I don't hear many songs from the perspective of "I'm trying, so God please don't give up on me."

God Loves Me Too : Brian Falduto - Brian played the gay kid in the movie School of Rock, and catapulted the character into an LGBTQ icon when he delivered the line “You’re tacky and I hate you.” Now as an adult, Brian is back and singing that no one has to earn God’s love. Brian wrote the song after visiting a church that was welcoming and accepting of queer people. I look around and see I’ve found a place where peace and love abound. I’ve waited my whole life for the truth. It is true, God loves you. It don’t matter if you’re LGBTQ

My Little Prayer : David Archuleta - David wasn't out yet when he recorded this, but I imagine he really related to some of these lyrics, such as I'm beginning to understand that you (God) have a plan for me.

The Queer Gospel : Erin McKeown - I love these lyrics. There are those who think we're wicked. There are those who call us names: depraved, lost and sick, and would rather bathe us in shame. But we put the "sin" in sincere, we put the "do" in the doubt. God is perfectly clear. We are perfectly out. Love us as we are. See us and we're holy. In this shall we ever be wholly ourselves.

Good Day (feat. Derek Webb) : Flamy Grant - Matthew Blake was a worship leader for 22 years who has become a “shame-slaying, hip-swaying, singing-songwriting drag queen” named Flamy Grant (it's a play on the name of gospel singer Amy Grant). The lyrics talk of coming back to church after having left for feeling oppressed. They’ve come back to church because despite what some say, God’s love is expansive enough for everyone. God made me good in every way, so I raise my voice to celebrate a good day. 

Believe : GENTRI - The pianist for this group is gay. After coming out, he was having a hard time with faith and was angry at God, and he felt God gave him this song as part of his healing process. Believe there is an answer. And while you feel you're buried deep in a disaster, believe more hands are waiting, ready to lift you up and carry you back to safety. You're not alone, keep holding on. And believe.

Explaining Jesus : Jordy Searcy - In 2014, Jordan was a contestant on The Voice. He grew up active in a church and since being on the television show he has written several religious songs, including this one. Jordy discusses the shortcomings of churches, comparing the ways in which church members act and interact with each other, including how they treat the gay community and oppress women. If you're gay and over 85, you've felt for your whole life that when God made you, he just messed up. In the chorus he apologizes that this has been the experience, I'm sorry no one explained Jesus to you.

Satan's Tears : Kyler O'Neal - Did anyone ask how real you are? Has anyone said that you are loved, or that you’re the one they’re dreaming of? Those questions start this beautiful song by trans woman Kyler O’Neal. The song addresses a young gender non-conforming person unaccepted by their world, and the singer promises to wipe away Satan’s tears which were created by a cruel society

Same Love : Macklemore & Ryan Lewis feat. Mary Lambert - Macklemore sings that his gay uncles should be allowed to marry, and speaks of how Christianity has hurt gay people. "God loves all his children" is somehow forgotten, but we paraphrase a book written thirty-five hundred years ago. The song concludes with Mary Lambert singing I’m not crying on Sundays, which I think means not letting religious intolerance and churches harm us anymore

No Place in Heaven : MIKA - Mika is singing about how religion teaches there’s no place in heaven for gay people because the way we love is sinful. Father, won’t you forgive me for my sins? Father, if there’s a heaven let me in

God Is : The Outer Banks - I don't know that they had queer people in mind when they wrote the song, but the lyrics relate to the conflict between one’s queerness and relationship with God. God was never angry. God was not against me. God was never far away. God is not disappointed.

I Know it Hurts : Paul Cardall & Tyler Glenn - I just wanted to believe, but how am I supposed to believe this about me? And then we find each other, queer church members who can understand what we’re going through, who know the hurt. For most queer people, they leave church and go on a different path. They’re not lost, a faint light at the end is guiding their way, they’re finding another way back home.

Losing My Religion : R.E.M. - The song was interpreted as the struggle of a closeted gay man coming to terms with what his religion taught about gay people and is seen as an example of queer coding in the era of “don’t ask, don’t tell.” Lead singer Michael Stipe had declined to address his sexuality, so when “Losing My Religion” came out, people assumed Stipe was coming out as gay. Consider this the hint of the century. Consider this the slip.

HIM : Sam Smith - This is a song about a boy in Mississippi coming out and the conflict between his sexuality and his religious upbringing. He is grappling with the feeling that there’s no place in church for him because he’s gay. Holy Father, we need to talk. I have a secret that I can’t keep. I’m not the boy that you thought you wanted. Please don’t get angry, have faith in me.

Pray : Sam Smith - You won’t see Sam in church, but they say they’re a child of God at heart and are begging God to show the way. I’m not a saint, I’m more of a sinner. I don’t wanna lose, but I fear for the winners

Faith : Semler -  This song reached No. 1 on the iTunes Christian music chart and is about growing up queer in a faith community and how the rejection by the church left them scarred. When my religion turned against me, they said my hopes and dreams were faulty. I showed these holes inside my hands, and they claimed they couldn’t see.” Even as they struggled with the church, Semler kept a relationship with Jesus and flourished far more than she did in any church building. But I don’t wanna get small to be in those rooms

Hey Jesus : Trey Pearson - Trey made headlines in 2016 when as the lead singer of the Christian rock band Everyday Sunday, he came out as gay. Three years later and Trey has a question: Hey Jesus can you hear me now? It's been awhile since I came out, I was wonderin' do you love me the same? As a person who struggles to reconcile faith with sexual orientation, I find this song quite moving.

Heaven : Troye Sivan feat. Betty Who - Troye sings about what it’s like for a religious teenager to come out as gay. Without losing a piece of me, how do I get to heaven? Without changing a part of me, how do I get to heaven? All my time is wasted, feeling like my heart’s mistaken, oh, so if I’m losing a piece of me, maybe I don’t want heaven? Troye explains “When I first started to realise that I might be gay, I had to ask myself all these questions—these really really terrifying questions. Am I ever going to find someone? Am I ever going to be able to have a family? If there is a God, does that God hate? If there is a heaven, am I ever going to make it to heaven?” The video features footage from LGBTQ+ protests throughout history.

Revelation : Troye Sivan and Jónsi -This song was written for the movie Boy Erased, which is about a young man being sent by his parents to a conversion therapy camp to try to change him to not be gay. The lyrics are about feeling liberated from the toxic teachings he learned at church about LGBTQ+ people. It’s a revelation. There’s no hell in what I’ve found, and no kingdom shout. How the tides are changing as you liberate me now and the walls come down. In other words, God doesn't condemn me for my queerness.

Orphans of God : Ty Herndon & Kristin Chenoweth feat. Paul Cardall - The message of the song is we are all loved by God, we are all thought about, we are all created equally and God loves us all the same.

Midnight : Tyler Glenn - The Neon Trees frontman gives an emotional song about his departure from the Mormon church but not from God. The ballad is accompanied by a video that shows Glenn removing his religious garments and replacing them with a glittery jacket, which is such a powerful metaphor.