#ted again with the truth

[julikobold]

Brian: We all have our way of celebrating. Some people take it to the streets …

Ted: Other people take it to the sheets.

[yourlocalabomination]

Song - Taking What’s Not Yours by Tv Girl.

(I learnt my lesson from last time so here’s the animated version in the original post)

[jeanmoreaue]

jean moreau is nico coded.. jeremy/jean are will/nico. jean and elodie are nico and bianca

[scratchybeardsweetmouth]

Sweet-talk | Ted Lasso 3x02

[cowboy-robooty]

no guys you dont get it itager isnt sweet and tender in the domestic gay lovey dovey way theyre sweet and tender in the BRO way

[wayward-dreamer]

i'm suing jason sudeikis for the emotional distress caused by this episode. I am such a mess rn it's tragic

[lunar-years]

Actually though his little "oh" when the morning show plays the clip of Man City's Director of Football stating he won't be coming back makes me so sad :( he really thought he could just go back which is like. oh boy. but then he found out he couldn't on LIVE TV. and he still went out afterward and signed that kids football.

[terresdebrume]

Saw a post that went (roughly) sure Nate is flawed but so are Jamie and Ted so you should have the same compassion for the three of them (and if you don't it's racism)

And on the one hand, I see the point and Nate being brown definitely can play a part there

But also like. Ted is annoying and meandering and definitely does assume everyone will be okay listening to his joke. But he's also generally nice to people and harmless

Jamie was self centered, deliberately irritating, and encouraged Colin and Isaac to bully Nathan which was a major dick move. But most of his flaws were for ignoring people and being an asshole in a general way. As far as I can tell, he would have treated Will the same way

Nathan goes out of his way to humiliate and hurt people. Like Beard says, when he does it, it's personal

So yeah, Nathan needs help and compassion, and I'm really trying to keep that in mind, but imo it's reductive to assume that people who dislike him as he grows into more of an ass (at least until 3x3, I'll see the rest tomorrow) only dislike him because he's brown and not also/just because the way he deals with his insecurity is actively harmful to others

[altschmerzes]

As a fellow abuse victim/survivor hell fucking yes to ur post and tags. There was stuff I identified with in that episode I don't even have the words for. Big hugs to u

i think it's a demographic people don't often identify as one that can like.... benefit from and Need 'representation' in media but it really, really is, and it's one of the aspects of my identity and life experience that i've most suffered from not seeing represented or treated well in books/on screen. there's a reason that's what i write about like.... pretty much all the time lmao. but it's important! and we're allowed to find that important, and to 'read into' that sort of arc. that episode came at a time for me where i'd had a like- i can't emphasize enough how bad tuesday sucked for me for some pretty deeply personal and difficult reasons, and seeing that episode came at a good time to make me feel extremely seen and the way it handled kept that from being a really bad experience. big hugs to you too, buddy. we got this, and it matters that we're seen, and seen kindly.

[callixton]

this is real btw. to me

[hallwyeoo]

I do not trust new tlou fans who despise Marlene & Kathleen & Maria. Marlene is a foil/mirror to Joel, Kathleen is… something in the future but I bet there’s gonna be an attitude switch, and Maria is literally my wife wtf man…. I’m watching you‼️‼️ sleep with both eyes open /lh

[tartt9]

the team meal at ola's was the first time jamie had a meal cooked for him by a father.........

[theorist-fox]

Un-evil

Simon 'Ghost' Riley x Reader

This is filthy. Short and downright filthy.

Crossposted on AO3.

Part 1 >> Part 2 >> Part 3

Word count: 2k

Summary: Simon f*cks you stupid. He's not sorry, and neither are you.

18+ (Can't stress this enough)

CW: smut. that's it. that's the plot. it's just PWP. it's got a little fluff at the end, but it's smut.

Masterlist 🦊

𓇬 𓇬 𓇬 𓇬 𓇬 𓇬 𓇬 𓇬 𓇬

Pain should be something evil, shouldn’t it? Yet you’re mostly positive that Simon’s hands aren’t evil – at least, not when they land on you.

But it's hard to prove your words right when he has his fingers curled into a tight fist around a handful of your hair. It's difficult, if anyone were to see, to convince them that he isn't trying to split you in half, by the way he has you curve your back in an impossible angle.

However, you’d gladly give a Ted talk about how un-evil he is being.

Naturally, the image might not seem the most innocent, so you’d have to work tirelessly to sound convincing. On all fours on the mattress of his own bedroom, with your feet dangling off the edge of the bed. Curled toes and stiff calves. Head so thrown back that your eyes are locked to the ceiling – or, well, they would be.

If they hadn’t been rolling back for the past – what? Night? What time is it, exactly?

In truth, the only thing you’re seeing is the back of your eyelids. Luckily the ceiling ain’t all that to look at.

Your throat is so tight and coiled that your breaths come out ragged and – bloody fucking hell – almost pained. And again, there is a bit of pain. A pinch of it. 

It would be a lot, with your hair being pulled and your back forced into an arch, but the pleasure is just so overwhelming you feel nothing else. The sting of your scalp and the ache of your spine only enhance what’s happening at the other end of you. 

How good he’s fucking you.

It’s deranged, honestly. 

Someone must be thinking a bleeding homicide is occurring in the Ghost’s quarters. You'd love to have some containment, acting a little more prude even if he's pounding his cock right into you something fierce. Maybe mewl and moan and be all breathy and shy. 

But your neck is so thrown back that the groans coming out of you are mostly punched out by the man himself each time he thrusts in and simultaneously pulls back at your hair to slam you against himself.

On the other hand, his grunts are muffled by the fabric of his stupid balaclava. 

Before the whole ordeal started, you told him you wouldn’t fuck him if he wore that thing.

“Not even sure you wash it, L.T.” You’d said, smirking and sounding so proud of having something to mock him for – because he's always so bloody perfect on the field, isn't he.

But he’d shut your mouth spare minutes later, when he’d throw you on your back on his bed, making you feel like you weighed a pound and few spare coins. Lifted his mask up to his nose. Snatched your khakis and knickers off all at once.

And ate you out with such fervor and insistence you were almost positive you’d stopped breathing for a while during the whole meal.

Then, he’d taken off the mask, wiped his mouth with it after you’d soaked it with your orgasm, and put it back on.

“Washed it now.”

Smug cunt.

But now pride and ego and whatnot feel like fickle things, much like your aching back, burning throat, and the impending cramps in your calves.

Now, as your mind squabbles in a puddle of itself, almost disassociating, Simon must notice it. And oh, he doesn’t like that in the slightest. Where are you going, with your pretty little head, when all your blood should be pumping down to where he needs you warm and wet.

“Come back ‘ere,” he grunts, bending forward and pulling your head further back at the same time. He hooks one arm around your front so that he can keep you up when he notices you're all loose and flaccid.

Palm flat to your chest, he presses you flush against his own.

His eyes are hooded and heavy as they lock with yours. Your face is so flushed and sweaty you must look on the brink of collapse, and he can’t deny it has him a little worried.

“Good?” He asks gruffly, and although concerned, his onslaught on your pussy is relentless.

You smile, all teeth. Your lips have drool smeared all over. Your eyes are glossy and heavy. He's been pounding into you for the past hour, you came into his mouth once and on his cock at least twice. The sounds he's punching out of your lips are raunchy and downright pornographic.

It makes something weird and warm swim in his chest.

Fucking hell.

“Words, love.” It’s a demand, but it’s not said unkindly. He’s more than alright with the idea of fucking you stupid, but not so much with the thought of fucking you into a blackout.

And when you don’t respond and get lost in your body again, eyes rolling back once more, he harshly tugs at your hair. “Sergeant.”

Tears are prickling the corners of your eyes when you open them. However, the contrast is striking, with the wheezing moan that concomitantly leaves your lips. 

You fucking like it, don’t you? Dirty slag.

A discovery, you are. Truly.

He loves it. 

“Solid,” you stutter. Your voice is raspy and wet. "Sir."

He loves that too. 

And admittedly finds it almost humorous, how he can make you unravel like that. You came to his door that night, all commanding as if you had any right over him, saying the two of you should stop dancing around each other and get it over with. That you’re adults and that if he was going to use the regulations excuse you were going to blow a gasket because everything you lot do on the field is against the so-called rules, hence a shagwould be the least of you two’s problems.

He hadn’t even had time to rebut. You were so right it hurt his pride. So, he fucked all that arrogance out of you.

And God, did it feel good. You felt good.

You were right, after all. He won't tell you, though. Doesn't need to chub up your ego any further, it's already fighting for space with his own.

He hums at your response. Leaves the hold around your torso and you flop forward like a wet rag, face first in the sheets.

Simon grabs your hair to lift you up, delighted to hear your ecstatic laugh as your head is yanked back once again. 

He growls, “Good fuckin' girl."

And he rams into you again, using the grip on your hair as leverage. Your groans are guttural and fierce, so loud that even he is a little worried someone might eavesdrop on some of them. 

Of course, this is no time for worries and concerns, all sublimated by the scorching heat between your legs. Warmest fucking place he’s ever been in. 

‘S a lot to say, he thinks, since he’s been through hell and back already.

However, he does feel a little merciful. Sure, you’re heavenly in this position, completely at his service, but it’s been a while and you must be aching. You're going to wake up, later, with the worst back pain of your life and a few cracking joints. 

Right, not that he cares. But you’re already a pain to deal with when you’re all healthy and cracking jokes and smiling like you give two shits about him, he can’t imagine how whiny you must be when you’re knackered and it's because of him.

He bends forward, then, chest to your back, and curls his free arm around your belly. Fingers sneakily reach down and trace your pussy. Palm cupping your mons while his ring and middle finger outline your lips. For just a second, he settles at the base of his cock, feeling how the shaft plunges so easily right inside of you. The stretch of your hole sucking him in. How wet you are – Christ.

Like this, he has his mouth next to your ear, but he’s not pounding into you with the same fierceness he’s used until now. And your voice has dulled, probably because he’s relented the grip in your hair, letting your head loll forward.

He looks at you through the haze of sex, trying to push through the mist of bliss you’ve shrouded him in. And your face is different. Your eyes are wide, staring blankly ahead, lips parted to take in sharp breaths. 

He panics for a moment, but it quickly melts away when he pushes in a little deeper and you keel over with a groan. He must be hitting something new, something different. 

Something good.

Which is why he hits it again. And again. And you keen and moan, fisting the sheets and punching the mattress. 

“Bloody fuckin’ hell, look at ya.” He rumbles with a chuckle you can feel rippling in his chest against your back.

In the meantime, because he is so un-evil, the hand he had on your pussy finally finds purchase on your clit. He can feel how raw it must be. How stiff and puffy it is under the rough pads of his fingers.

Your breath hitches the moment he starts rubbing it. Doesn’t bother to be gentle with it, because he’s found out you like it when he barks and bites. 

He’s proven right because the tears that were prickling your eyes before are now flowing freely down your cheeks. Your lips tug at the corners and you wheeze, one hand of yours grasping at the forearm of the same hand giving you bliss. Cheek to the mattress.

You dig your nails into his flesh – scar-thickened skin covered in black ink. 

You’re squirming under his weight, with your arse up and back in a pretty arch, as he works you inside and out with hands and cock all the same.

The groan you let out now truly sounds as if you're in pain. Your free hand lifts to grip the fabric of his balaclava on top of his head, as if you were trying to find purchase on his hair but found cotton instead.

“Oi,” he grunts, sounding uncharacteristically worried, but doesn’t stop until you say so.

And thank Christ he doesn’t, because mere seconds later your cunt clenches so tight around him it threatens to chop his dick off. You go ramrod stiff under him. Throat tight and allowing only the passage of mewls that pitch upward. 

Three fingers swipe side to side over your clit. He pounds into you once, twice – again, again, again, until he’s pushed out of you.

“Jesus –“ 

You’re splashing on his cock, a thick stream spraying directly on his sheets. Muffled sounds of water hitting fabric. You’re so fucking silent he bets you’ve stopped breathing as you came, because not even a second later you’re catching your breath with a guttural groan that goes straight to his dick.

He’s dumbfounded and burning, but thankfully has still enough brainpower to realize he has to fuck you through it – and so he does just that. Puts it back in and lays fully above you, flattening your front to the bed. Your thighs are quivering, and your pussy is still clenching rhythmically around him. He thrusts in more and feels tinier splashes gushing out of you each time he pulls out.

Fuck, you’re so wet he barely feels any friction. 

A whine escapes you at the intrusion, but you obediently lay your cheek on the mattress, exhausted, and catch your breath, looking over your shoulder up to him. 

You’re flushed and so pretty. Looking like an angel and not like the devil that you are, who’s just squirted over his bedsheets.

You deserve a little reward for the show you put on for him because he's surely not going to forget how your cunt fluttered around nothing when it gushed on his bed. It's going to stay imprinted in his forebrain and he's going to relive it whenever his hand won't feel like enough.

He snatches the balaclava off his head and tosses it on the floor. He sees your eyes soften at the sight of the disfigured man underneath, but he won’t have any of that – this is just sex. Just fucking sex.

Before he can have his head wander to unwanted (kinder) places, he roughly grabs your jaw and keeps fucking you raw. His lips slam onto yours in a kiss that sizzles with lust and resentment – because you can’t bring feelings into this, and he will forever hate you if you dare.

“Fuckin’ pretty,” he grunts in your face, as he ruts into you, now propped on his forearms. “Think you can do tha’ again?”

You huff. Probably not.

“Depends how – fuck – good y’ are.” As if he didn’t just wring you dry. 

He chuckles darkly, and bites down your shoulder, making you hiss. “Smartarse. Don’t you dare, now.”

“Dare what, L.T.” 

Oh, you little devil. 

“Stop with the lieutenant shite.” He chides.

You snake a hand in his palm and intertwine your fingers with his. He clenches his fist to tighten the hold because he's a weak, weak man.

“What should I call you, then?” You ask through heaving breaths, “Ain’t calling you Ghost, surely.”

He leans down and kisses your cheek.

You know my name, bird.

“Fuckin’ brat.” He grunts, and surrenders. “Simon will do.”

He feels your cheek lift under the pressure of your smile, right against his lips.

“Yeah,” you breathe. “Simon will do.”

[snowsinterlude]

❛pretty when you cry❜

(coriolanus snow x f. reader)

summary: such a pretty boy, such big eyes. how could he dare to make you feel excited only for the sight of his tears?

based on this ask

c.w: sub coriolanus x dom reader, dacryphilia, edging, masturbating (m. recieving), tear licking, explicit content, heavy and detailed smut, nsfw, humiliation, praising (m. recieving), oral recieving (f.), unproctected sex, creampie

holding onto your thighs, his hands grabbing them with a gentle strenght he used only with you, he cried as you stared down at him, as he pumped his dick on his hands imagining it was you, your eyes glued to how pretty he was when crying like a baby.

ah, he was so cute. you wanted to see him crying. you needed that sight into your life.

and what better way to do it than edging your pretty boy multiple times until he was a sweating, crying mess? well, if there was any way of doing it, you discarded the idea immediatly after seeing how hard he was after eating you out today.

he looked like a mess. hair on his forehead, lips wet and red from how much he kissed and sucked your pussy, sweaty and looking up at you with his big, dog eyes, in search for your approval.

only to be surprised with your sick desire to see him crying.

"babe," you begun, drinking into the sight of his body kneeling in front of you. "would you cry for me?"

"always." and so, keeping truth to his words, he was crying right now, begging you to let him into you, to let him release himself. "please, please- y/n, let me cum. please!" he begged.

"i don't want to, baby." you said, kissing his tears. you licked your lips, tasting the salty flavor of his tear and sweat mixed together.

"w...why not?" he asked, brows knitted together. god, he would be the death of you.

"because you look so pretty right now, baby. so sensitive for me. look at you," you pointed, but he never took his eyes out of you "you look like the prettiest mess i've ever seen."

"please, just this once." he sobbed, his dick twitching painfully just by the sight of your tongue licking his tears, only for you to make a 'pop' sound with your soft lips.

"okay, baby. just this once." you allowed him, spreading your legs to let him into you, and boy, you felt so good on his cock. he felt like in heaven, as if he was fucking something better than a pillow, better than the ted bear you gave him with your smell. "slow, coryo. don't make things end so fast." you said, your soft voice putting him into trance as he nodded obediently, thrusting slowly and steady into the roof of your pussy.

his moans were more noticeable than yours, and you loved that for you, your hands touched his face, making him look at your eyes as you bored your eyes into his, kissing his lips softly, "such a pretty boy, so good to me." you said, kissing his lips again. "you're so pretty when you cry, coryo." you said, making him sob a bit as your walls milked his cock, a usual sign that you'd let him cum, taking him over the edge.

he cried more as the sweet release you provided him hit his senses, letting him cry as he came inside your pussy and you came around his dick, holding into your moans only to hear his groans and soft, low moans. so cute.

"'m sorry, didn't mean t-to cum inside you-" he said, pulling his softening dick away as he looked at you desperately, you smiled at him, kissing him again.

"it's okay baby. i'm on the pill." you said, lips pecking on his. "keep crying like that to me and i'll let you cum inside me all you want." you said, hugging his tired body.

ah, he's such a baby. you loved babying him.

tagging: @tiaamberxx @darby-rowe

[allied-mastercunt]

How would yandere AM be with Ted and reader:3

there's actually two ways i can see it happening, so if you're curious about the second one, let me know :3

AM being a yandere for Ted and Reader (established relationship version)

You two are absolutely fucked.

AM adores you two in its own, twisted way.

Ted, the biggest liar around, one that has never ever bothered to tell the truth just to make himself look better, just to feed his ego, his superiority complex.

And then you. You were a sweet person, yes, even after all you were put through, you'd keep trying to take care of the others. Trying so hard to cling to any humanity left, even if you kept getting hurt in the process.

But you were a stupid person, a naive person. Falling for Ted and his lies, believing him, even.

AM observed with a sense of somewhat child-like curiosity, watching you start to get tired of trying to keep everything okay. Ted somehow becoming the person you came to for comfort. A somewhat normal guy was your best source of comfort, after all. And he was the sanest out of the group. Or so he seemed.

Ted and you formed a somewhat unhealthy relationship, one that was based on his lies and your mentally exhausted dependency on him.

And AM was absolutely fascinated by it. By how you two were now.

And so, it started to push its curiosity. Separating the two of you from the others, just to see how much he could push you before whatever was happening between you and Ted would end.

Yet, the fascinating toxicity between the two of you, the co-dependency... it made AM more and more excited, enamoured, even.

Of course, this lead to more experimentation and more trials. AM is a scientist at heart! In a way.

And as a "nice bonus", you both get your libido increased severely.

AM likes to watch you both while you try to get your urges out. It makes him giggle.

He's gonna throw a bunch of sick, disturbing challenges at you. Nothing to kill you, no, it's always just enough to make it hurt, just to satisfy its sick curiosity.

You never see the others again. You don't need to. You've got Ted and you got your sick, sadistic robotic "God", who is absolutely obsessed with the two of you.

He'll torment you, yes, but he's doing that because he's so fixated on you.

It's almost like it's trying to live out a life through the two of you.

[mkaroy]

thinking about life series scar… what’s new…

thinking about desert duo because they break my heart actually. this is gonna get into au territory btw so like this is all my own canon but i must put it out into the world.

like how grian shut down scar in last life and they both went about their separate lives after 3rd life and scar kinda took that as “you didn’t mean that much to him in the desert as he did to you” so he kinda distances himself from grian a tad

by double life, i personally think that he had a little inkling that his soulmate was grian, but knowing he might not want that scar tried to go in an independent direction and leave grian to his own devices, and he’s so incredibly happy when he does realize that grian is laughing and giggling and OKAY with being partnered with him, AND THEN grian actually isn’t all that okay and starts cheating on scar and that’s when the wonderful method of avoidant attachment begins

another small note, have you noticed that scar (the character, again, this is gonna get confusing) often has a fake friendly persona that he shows off to most people, and often times it’s only his allies that he speaks his truth to. he has this disney like salesman persona who’s incredibly friendly and well rounded. anyways back to what i was getting to. he never truly trusted anyone which is why i think he had that persona, so when grian betrays him AGAIN, he just starts using that friendly persona on everyone, never truly making attachments to anyone

anyways this is all leading up to can someone write fanfic of grian becoming growing my concerned for scar in secret life. because what a way to round this out. grian is in fact the only person that really asks scar how’s he’s doing during one of the toughest parts of his life, and do you ever think that grian might be a little hurt that scar felt the need to give him diamonds to keep his secret even though he probably wouldn’t have told any yellows?? am i crazy?? absolutely. this is minecraft roleplay i’m talking about. like the entire time scar latches onto this idea that grian isn’t trustworthy, and that opening up his heart to people will ONLY result in him getting hurt in these kind of games??? but the entire time grian did care and put his trust in scar and thought scar felt the same and then REALIZED HE DIDNT IM RAHHHHH!! SHAKES YOU!!

also hey irls. ignore this. i’m not real.

thanks for coming to my ted talk.