#Blue can tell you all about her tomfoolery

[tobyfobywoahby]

I’m . fucking

taylor swift we’re really in it now what are we gonna do…..💔💔💔💔💔/vent

[todorokies]

2:48pm - satoru gojo

contents: fluff, established relationship, fem!reader, teen!gojo or adult!gojo u can imagine whichever, found family trope, megumi & tsumiki are some vv young lads here (they’re like 8 & 9 years old), this is a kinda unserious ngl

a/n: the found family trope will always hold a special place in my heart

“what the hell are you doing?!”

the sight in front of you was absolutely distasteful, nothing could’ve prepared you for the horrors that displayed in the comfort of your own home. not even a trip to the ninth circle of hell could mentally equip you with strength to deal with this troublesome…mess.

satoru’s elongated body currently rests in a downward dog postion as his hands are occupied with his left being on a red circle and the right on a blue circle.

you would think the children that you left in his care would be participating in the child’s game of twister, but that was far from the truth as satoru’s hostages —megumi and tsumiki— sat criss-crossed off the game mat as they shared the same puzzled look with you.

“oh hey baby! we missed you- megs gimme a hand here and spin the wheel for me.” your mouth comically drops so fast you’d think you were in an episode of a cartoon.

with a deep scowl present on his face, the young megumi reluctantly shifts closer to the spinner giving it a weak twirl that eventually lands on ‘right foot, green.’ miraculously, satoru is able to cross his foot over on a green circle in a way that shouldn’t be considered humanly possible.

your boyfriend is gonna break a bone or two if you don’t stop this tomfoolery.

you crouch down to be face to face with him. “you do realize you’re supposed to be looking after the kids while i was gone…not traumatizing them, right?” he raises his head to look at you, “traumatizing them? nonsense! a good game of twister always builds character.”

“a good game of them watching you play alone will build character for them how exactly?”

“well obviously i couldn’t let them play. i wouldn’t want to risk toppling them over and letting them lose in a game that requires skill.”

with that, tsumiki and megumi gets up from their spots on the floor and make their way to the entryway to pick up the snacks you dropped in disarray upon arrival. “but you lost to both me and megumi before…i don’t know why he’s lying.”

ego bruised, he dramatically collapses on the twister mat, “you weren’t suppose to tell her that!” a genuine belly laugh escapes from your mouth, heading towards the couch to high-five the kids who just finished putting away the groceries and had two family sized potato chip bags in their laps.

“good job guys! next time record it on his phone for me.” they both nodded with enthusiasm.

satoru dramatically whines while planting his face in the palm of his hands while striding over to your dvd rack to choose a movie for the night. “cut me some slack, did you really expect me ruin the game for the kids?”

you quizzically contemplate your answer with a finger on your chin and satoru could practically see the sfx question mark above your head. “oh come onnnn!”

you then walk over to the now sulking white haired boy to delicately place both of your hands on his smooth face earning a groan from megumi combined with fake gagging sounds from tsumiki.

“if it makes you feel any better i think they secretly enjoy your antics. tsumiki told me about the tea party you guys had; with tiaras and everything yeah?” he slowly nodded unsure of what you’re trying to get at.

“and you bought megumi that nintendo ds he was subtly hinting for…my point is that they appreciate you so much even if they act like they don’t; i appreciate you.”

satoru’s whole demeanour does a turnaround. smiling gleefully at you as his dimples showcase in all of it’s glory. “i mean, yeah, they don’t wanna admit it to your face in case it’ll hurt your feelings…” his hand inches towards to your neck lightly ghosting above your velvety skin whilst slowly leaning in as his eyes flicker to your lips. “…but i think i’m their favourite parent.”

before his soft lips could capture yours two potato chips come flying in your direction as a sour expression sits upon tsumiki and megumi’s face. “ewww guys! remember we still need to pick something to watch.”

megumi huffs, “and can we not watch ice age for the millionth time i don’t care how much gojo likes that movie.”

reblogs & feedback is appreciated!! <3

[possibilistfanfiction]

I love your butch!Bea AU, so maybe something where Ava is just a silly little guy and Bea is just so done with Avas tomfoolery

‘do you have to be so…’

you grin. ’so what, bea?’

‘it’s just not going to work,’ she says, utterly worn down. it’s fun, though, to be honest, making her huff and roll her eyes and laugh at your antics with no stakes involved.

‘well, how do you know?’

you watch with a fair amount of delight when she goes through, quite passionately, a list of everything known about the halo and its healing capabilities, its protective nature over you and the ones you care for. she’s in a soft, big hoodie and blue socks that are wearing out at the heels — her favorites, so she’s reluctant to part with them, you think — curled up on the edge of the comfortable couch in your living room, a pillow in her lap. she’d gone to the barber yesterday, as she does every three weeks like clockwork now, and her fade is as neat as you’ve ever seen it, the short top, an inch long, perfect for you to run your fingers through, as far as you’re concerned, messy from sleep. her glasses are a little smudged and she’s languishing with her cup of coffee so, even though she could kill a man in less than a second and has been into triathlons (terrible) lately — you are not intimidated or deterred by her in the slightest.

there’s a whoosh of sulfur and then mary and lilith are popping into your house, effectively stopping beatrice’s laundry list of reasons your plan will never work.

‘what’s he trying to do now?’ mary says, headed to the kitchen while lilith settles into her favorite reading chair, seemingly disengaged but you know she’s listening.

beatrice looks pointedly at you. 

‘i’m feeling like doing something impulsive,’ you announce.

‘you? impulsive?’ lilith scoffs — a point for you, though, because she was paying attention. ‘who would’ve thought?’

‘whatever,’ you say, no bite in it. ‘i thought it would be fun to get a piercing, but beatrice is claiming i can’t.’

‘you want to pierce your —‘

she turns red without even saying it. ‘nipples,’ you finish for her, a grin on your face.

‘never mind,’ mary says, walking over to lilith with two cups of coffee. ‘i can’t listen to this. beatrice, text me,’ and then they’re gone.

‘did they just abscond with our mugs?’ 

beatrice sighs and pinches the bridge of her nose. ‘what’s this really about?’

‘uh, it would be hot, i think. obviously.’ you roll your eyes. ‘and, like, everyone normal can do all kinds of impulsive shit that i can’t. what if i just really wanted to, like, skydive? or get a face tattoo?’

‘ava,’ she says, undeterred and a little weary. ‘what’s wrong?’

you swallow, the question hitting you square in the chest in a way you didn’t expect. it’s something, to be so seen and understood by someone. ‘nothing is wrong, really, i guess. i don’t know.’ 

she reaches for your hand and you sit next to her, lace your fingers together.

‘i just — with everything going on with my back, i guess i just feel, like…’ 

‘a loss of control?’ she asks, patiently after you’d been quiet for a while. 

you feel yourself let out an honest-to-god whine before you can stop it.

she smiles, a little sad and a little determined — she’s been waiting for this, you’re pretty sure, which is equal parts sweet and annoying. ‘i have an idea that i think might work better than nipple piercings to help you feel better. we can leave tonight even, if you want.’

you perk up and her smile blooms even further. ‘while i do definitely want to hear your idea of impulsivity, i just also need you to know that nipple piercings would be hot.’

she really does consider it. ‘perhaps,’ she offers.

‘i’ll take that as a yes,’ you say. ‘tell me about your idea.’

she sits up a little straighter and explains, hesitant enough at first to gauge your reaction, that she’s been researching adaptive ski and snowboarding programs. 

‘the alps?’ you ask, immediately a little teary.

‘if you’d like.’ she picks at her nail for a moment. ‘i’ve found ones closer to here as well, so wherever you’d like to go, we can go. just say the word.’

‘you really mean that?’

‘of course i do,’ she says, so sure, so steadfast. ‘and, plus, you know i’ll enjoy myself too.’

‘ah, yes, with your double black diamonds. insane.’

‘well, and the aprés ski with you.’

you grin and kiss her cheek. ‘as long as you promise to dance with me.’

‘i’ll do anything you want to make you happy, ava,’ she says, and it hits you in the chest that she means it. she means it, even though you’re mostly full of nonsense half the time, and you like to play pranks on her, and sometimes you get stoned and pester her to watch grace and frankie with you even though she’d been trying to read. she loves you through it all, the worst days, and you love her the same: when her hands shake; when she’s frustrated; when she worries so much about decisions she’s immobilized; when she’s too strict, even now. partnership, you’ve realized, is a practice.

‘switzerland, then?’

she smiles and kisses you. ‘i’ll book everything now.’

‘you have a spreadsheet, don’t you?’

‘of course,’ she says, as if there couldn’t be any other option. you laugh and she pulls it up on her laptop — there really are tabs on the sheet for at least six different programs that vary geographically and by difficulty level, and she’s also mapped out places to stay and restaurants you might enjoy, as well as other local attractions. 

‘this is so extra,’ you tell her, your voice a little shaky and the glance out the side of her eyes telling you, without words, she’s onto you. but it doesn’t matter: she gets everything all set up for tomorrow morning, and it’s there: love greater than this world, laid out in confirmation emails and conditionally formatted columns. ‘maybe we can visit jillian after,’ you say, the alternative being bursting into tears.

beatrice hums, never opposed to the idea of a trip to spain.

‘she could figure out how to pierce my nipples,’ you say, and beatrice groans. it’s the little victories.

[some-beans]

Hi! Okay can I request a Twisted Wonderland X Stitch!fem! Reader? Basically the reader is a female Stitch(experiment 626 also has human form) I can just already imagine the chaos she would bring being able to switch from her human form to her fluffy alien form.

le gasp !! my first request !!

that's not a problem !!

sorry if it took a while to come out ^-^

✎...pairing: twisted wonderland x stitch!fem!reader

✎...themes: chaos, general tomfoolery, can be seen as

platonic or romantic, ace slander [affectionately]

✎...enjoy !!

✎...notes: can you tell which characters are my favourite

𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐒𝐋𝐀𝐁𝐘𝐔𝐋

𝐑𝐈𝐃𝐃𝐋𝐄

what in the great seven?!

iー

praying for riddle fr

but besides the fact that you like to cause mayhem, especially in your alien form, he finds your. . . habits are interesting, to say the least

from dressing up as this so-called elvis presley guy and playing the ukulele to consuming a concerning amount of coconut cake and coffee

seriously, how do you survive??

he does watch his temper as the absolute discord you cause breaks multiple of the queen of heart's rules

help this short boi

well, at least he does find your adorable alien form ー it reminds him of hedgehogs

and yes, you do weaponise your cuteness from stopping him from collaring you and other students ー mainly ace and deuce

𝐓𝐑𝐄𝐘

another one growing grey hairs

however, unlike jamil, trey sees this chaotic energy similar to his younger siblings so it's easy to get you to stop

a.k.a bribing you with his baking

his coconut cake is your favourite and you would kill for a slice

he always makes sure you brush your teeth

always

besides baking for you, his favourite thing to do with you is to cuddle you after a long day ー either form is fine with him, so whatever makes you comfortable

trey also thinks your enthusiasm is like a breath of fresh air at nrc

𝐂𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐑

photos

constantly

albeit selfies or pictures of just you, cater has a whole ass folder in his phone for them

but those are his eyes only ー is it for blackmail?? who knows

he loves to cuddle with you in your alien form and post it as if you were some ultra-rare teddy he managed to get

nope, you're real

he loves to dress your alien form intro costumes and do photoshoots

he has a whole ass lighting and set-up for this

𝐀𝐂𝐄

this man giggled like a menace when he saw the potential of pissing off riddle with you

redhead behaviour

uses you as a scapegoat a lot, especially from riddle

however, you notice this and leave him to suffer unless it's serious

he learned his lesson real quick with that

𝐃𝐄𝐔𝐂𝐄

this poor himbo

confused on so many levels as he tries not to make sure you don't get in trouble

newsflash; he ends up joining you anyway

as being the embodiment of chaos, deuce did not expect you to be very cuddly and protective

like, some upperclassmen were harassing him, which would be able to deal with, but you came in your alien form extra arms and all and latched onto their faces

safe to say nobody messes with him anymore

𝐒𝐀𝐕𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐂𝐋𝐀𝐖

𝐋𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐀

at first, he didn't give two shits about this blue alien that tried to bother him in his sleep ー it was too easy to swat it away

but when you transformed into your human form, leona could swear he heard his sister-law and mother scream for high hell for the blatant disrespect he showed you

lowkey almost shat himself

so to make up for his behaviour, leona would allow you to get all your energy out of your system ー a blur of blue would zip past him as he lazed

despite his lazy and not giving a fuck nature, he very much gives a fuck if anyone tries to disrespect you

finna turn them into sand real quick

𝐑𝐔𝐆𝐆𝐈𝐄

partner in crime and 4lifers <3

you two cause so much chaos ー with his unique magic your ability to escape in your alien form is chef's kiss

you two steel a lot of food together

like, a lot

ungodly amounts of food

ruggie also likes the fact that you're really family oriented you would go to great lengths if it meant they were happy

𝐉𝐀𝐂𝐊

to jack, you first reminded him of his younger siblings with how hyper you could be at times

but then he realised that you were not

especially when he heard you cuss out another student for trying to look up your skirt

jack also paid them a visit

he won't admit it ー his tail does that just fine ー but he loves when you cuddle up to him in your alien form, especially when it's his tail

𝐎𝐂𝐓𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐄

𝐀𝐙𝐔𝐋

he tried to create a contract once after you straight up almost destroy his lounge but asked him for a favour;

azul: WHAT? After all, you put me through, you expect me to help you just like that? JUST LIKE THAT?

you: [alien language] ih

azul: fine!

jade: "fine"? you're doing what she says?

azul: she's very persuasive!

met you in your human form and was flustered obviously, but still kept his professional air around him

but that crumbled when you smiled duh

however because you are a woman, azul was actually very stand-offish and lowkey afraid, considering female octopi tend to be on the violent side

a.k.a committing murder but we don't talk about that

essentially he does try to form other contracts with you but you're big brain and don't sign them unless the terms are in your favour

𝐉𝐀𝐃𝐄

he loves to study you

like you're a mushroom or something

your chaotic behaviour reminds him of floyd, especially when they were kids

jade loves it when you join him on his mountain hikes and easily talk your head off while doing so

lowkey, but not really, a babysitter when you and floyd are together ー however, he may instigate some of the chaos you two cause

lol pray for the rest of nrc

𝐅𝐋𝐎𝐘𝐃

you + floyd = nrc possibly burning down

but honestly

he loves it ー from the chaos you bring to the fact you can transform

expect constant squeezes from ー alien or human forms regardless

lowkey gets pouty when you escape his grasp by transforming and zooming away

lowkey reminding him when was smol child

but you're not a child

he calls you shrimpy of course, but also angelfish after the asfur angelfish cuz ya a blue lil alien too

𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐁𝐈𝐀

𝐊𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐌

both of you together = maximum chaos

praying for jamil and the rest of nrc

magic carpet rides whenever he manages to lose jamil

i could see kalim easily dropping big-time money on whatever your little chaotic heart desires

kalim adores both forms of yours and just loves to spend time with you regardless of what's happening

likes the fact that you don't treat him differently based on his wealth and status makes him very happy

𝐉𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐋

he's getting grey hairs as we speak

please save this man /srs

despite the shit he has to go through when looking after kalim, he was ready to commit crimes when you showed up

almost had a mental breakdown

however, once he saw that fact you were practically indestructible, a weight lifted off his chest as he didn't really have to worry about you injuring yourself

but still doesn't mean he looks out for you ー considering you are the only girl in an all-boys school

𝐏𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐅𝐈𝐎𝐑𝐄

𝐕𝐈𝐋

iー

how much mess can you make??

it both surprises and annoys him greatly

though, the one thing he does appreciate is that fact you know the ins and outs of performing for a camera

and can be surprisingly still when needed

he does enjoy doing your make-up when you allow it, which makes him giddy on the inside

don't tell him i told y'all that

similar to cater, he too loves to dress you up regardless of form ー he also sometimes tries to get you on some of his shoots so he doesn't have to work with neige

𝐑𝐎𝐎𝐊

he finds you fascinating

but also one of the hardest things to hunt

so he finally found something he has trouble tracking down

calls you reine du chaos [ queen of chaos ] or reine du moelleux [ queen of fluffiness ] ー yes, i am using google translate, please don't bite me

sometimes you'll come up to him, and stare blankly before giving him a quick peck on the cheek, then transforming and zooming off

his eyes widen before he swoons and chases after you

𝐄𝐏𝐄𝐋

you truly bring out the rebel in him

shit eatin' grin on his face

especially when you get on vil's nerves

he be eatin' that shit up like macarons

however, when you're in your alien form and speaking, epel gets so frustrated but realises this must be how vil feels when his accent slips through while using slung

lmao, get a taste of your own medicine <3

𝐈𝐆𝐍𝐈𝐇𝐘𝐃𝐄

𝐈𝐃𝐈𝐀

um??

how the fuck did you even get into my dorm??

legit the epitome of your relationship with him ^^

no matter how updated his security you always somehow managed to get into his dorm room

he actually first meet you in your adorable, blue alien form, so imagine his surprise when he sees you in his room but as a hot anime girl

he fainted

what shoes he got on??

dead as hell

after getting over his social anxiety ass, idia lowkey highkey wants to study you, but when he mentions it, you lowkey highkey threaten to destroy his work

he shut up real quick

𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐍𝐈𝐀

𝐌𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐔𝐒

he is bewildered

astounded, to say the least

like lilia, he has never come across an individual such as yourself

malleus loves the seamless amounts of energy you harbour as it allows him to hold long night walks with you

you often exchange stories with each other ー mostly your stupid ones

he noticed that when you get affectionate you either act like a hyperactive dog or cat doing the smoosh a.k.a rubbing against something

he's very fond of the smoosh

𝐋𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐀

never in his long ass life has he met an individual such as yourself

so fucking curious

and gets so excited when you managed to eat his cooking without almost dying

turns out, you're quite the indestructible being and the same goes for your stomach

similar to malleus, you two share stories, however, it's more of your stories from back home from when you were created

that's why he was impressed when you could out-think rook

𝐒𝐈𝐋𝐕𝐄𝐑

confusion

100%

like, he went to sleep with you as a human and he wakes up to find you've been replaced with a fluffy, blue alien ー spoiler alert, it was you

lowkey panicked but calmed down when you poofed back and giggled at his confused face

whenever he falls asleep in your dorm, instantly cuddle time in any form

𝐒𝐄𝐁𝐄𝐊

screamed the roof down when he first saw you because you managed to sneak up on him and started to speak your gibberish

screamed bloody murder he did

massive blush ー from anger or embarrassment, you can decide ー as he shouts at you

you just poof back into your human form, which shut him up

you could hear the blue screen of death playing in his head

does chase you around but eventually loses you cuz no one can catch you <3

[talesfrommedinastation]

My redneck neighbor Doug on Tech's Looks

(Me: "Doug, so you know, a lot of people are unhappy that the Bad Batch was made to be lighter then the regs. It's a hot topic."

Doug: "Well, here's my theory on the matter. I hope the kids on the Internet (his words for Tumblr) don't get too spicy over this. It's all in good fun. I hope it makes 'em smile and think a bit.")

After having a firm, peer-reviewed discussion (and by that, I mean endless texts with Doug) it has been concluded that Tech has lighter skin and hair, and a slimmer build, due to the Kaminoans leaning harder into the hillbilly part of Jango Fett’s genes, whereas the regs got the nicer, prettier, more amenable genes. 

In short, Tech looks the way he does…because he is a blue-collar white guy from the American South.  

A Florida redneck, specifically.  

And let me (by way of Doug) tell you: rednecks do not have beautiful tans, flawless fades, snatched waists, muscular thighs, diamond-sharp cheekbones, the ability to follow directions, or perfect matching armor, all of which a reg has. 

(Sorry, Howser, go back to guarding Ryloth or posing for GQ or whatever it is you do.)

Back to Tech. Look at that man and tell me the shit he gets up to would not be constantly at the top of r/floridaman

A lot of people might clutch their pearls, and be shocked at this revelation. 

“He has a fancy accent! He’s persnickety about certain things! He’s my fancy pretty boi and I’m going to dress him up in a gold thong in my fan art!”

You do you, kid. But let Doug and his neighbor here, Dr. Meat Muffin, defend this deranged argument, here. Using anthropological research applying autoethnographic methodologies that they conducted independently at one point. 

(By that, we mean that Doug is from the bayous of Louisiana and has lived in the Florida Panhandle before moving Up North. Dr. MM attended graduate school in a redneck hot zone, lived in said redneck hot zone for a while, and married a Texan as well. Hook 'em gig 'em and wreck 'em)

After all, if you want an army to win over the galaxy and work with the Jedi, you want well-mannered, shiny, handsome men with melanin and agreeable personalities.

You do not want a pale-assed weirdo in jeans and a receding hairline who can’t get off his phone to work closely with orphaned space wizards. 

Tech’s an anarchic Floridian piece of tornado bait and that’s why he look the way he do, says Doug.

Here's why Doug says Tech is a Redneck:

Mandalorians are Space Rednecks: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Trx7fDdlIo0. I do not own the rights to the video, but my God, it is perfection. A masterpiece. Mandalorians are rednecks in space, who end up colonizing Space Florida, no questions asked. Our theory is Tech is merely the concentrated, Waffle House-fistfighting, chew-dipping, Mountain Dew chugging, part of that. The Kaminoans just leaned into the trailer park part of Jango Fett hard when designing Tech, because no one can fix cars while shooting a gun and yelling at his crazy brothers like a redneck (more on that below). 

Hell, all of the Bad Batch are different brands of Florida Man:

Grizzled long haired tan guy with skull tattoo, obsessed with tracking, knife fighting, and hiding from normal society? Hunter.

Bald tanned dude with weird scars who loves blowing shit up and screaming for no reason? Wrecker

Pale, freaked out man who was kept in a cult’s closet for years? Echo 

Creepy, old, Second Amendment loving white guy with a gun themed tattoo who can’t seem to die? Crosshair 

Maladjusted orphan left behind at a bar by her inexperienced caretakers and almost drowns in the ocean? Omega 

His love of vehicles: We never see Tech whip out a manual to fix anything. The man says it’s because he has an exceptional mind, but that’s edging dangerously close to “Ah don’t need no schoolin’, hoss, I can fix any Ford!”.  Doug thinks it’s just because Tech loves playing with car parts, which is some grade A, hillbilly tomfoolery. And what is more redneck than some white guy ripping apart a vehicle in the dirt while the rest of his family bitches at each other in the heat? It happened right here in Season 2 (this exact scenario has played out many-a-time in Pensacola, trust me). All they need is some Lynyrd Skynyrd blasting in the background to make the picture complete. 

His clothing color scheme: “Oh, no!” you wail. “He just changed his colors to reflect Mandalorian heritage!” 

WRONG. 

Tech’s redneckery is blatant here, because his colors switch from 

Hot Topic goth to…UNIVERSITY OF FLORIDA. 

“We’re loyal to each other,” says Hunter. And by that, he means the Gators, beloved of many an NCAA following redneck in the Sunshine State and beyond. Orange and Blue, indeed.

Notice how we first see him in these colors, is while he’s parked his stolen work vehicle on a beach while his brothers are busy being chased by huge-ass crabs as their sister is quietly fishing?! 

This is PEAK FLORIDA MAN. 

Tech was probably trying to get ESPN+ to work on the Marauder, because the Devil works hard, but the SEC works harder during football season. I wonder if he has a tattoo of Tim Tebow on his buttcheek.

His home is his car: Tech, as well as his unemployed brothers and underaged sister who the cops are looking for (how trashy is THAT sentence), live in the Havoc Marauder now that their home was destroyed in a fire fight with the government. 

("Jesus Christ, this argument just writes itself now, don’t it," -Doug) 

This attack shuttle, for all intents and purposes, is a stolen work truck that they live in. It’s filled with posters of guns, as well as other weapons and explosives, and has all the comfort of a Jacksonville gas station at 2 AM. All you need is some cigarette burns on the fender and some empty take out bags from Bojangles and it might as well be parked down by the river in Suwannee County. Just Florida redneckery. Speaking of which….

He loves guns and explosions: Won’t go into detail, but the man knows how to use multiple pistols, rifles, and different tactile maneuvers with glee. Tech’s only notable complaint regarding explosions is making sure Wrecker’s new fancy boom-booms aren’t parked next to his bunk. And the look of calm joy when his sister tells his brother ‘Do some damage, Wrecker!’ as Tech pulls a Bo Duke and flings his vehicle across a locked up work site, while his deranged brother giggles and fires some guns at a government-owned power plant from the back seat. PURE. UNADULTERATED. REDNECK. 

He’s a racer: It is a fact (with peer reviewed research) that rednecks really, really love them some racing. NASCAR, motocross, BMX, you name it. And if you’ve seen ‘Faster’, well, that’s all you need to know about the man. 

He has no fear of large animals: We’ve never seen him hunt, but Tech knows how to distract massive amounts of nasty animals using light, and the first response to seeing a terrifying monster isn't running away screaming, but whispering ‘FASCINATING’., before, ya know, firing a gun at it. It’s one step away from ‘IT’S COMING RIGHT FOR US’. You KNOW that man would be sponsoring gator wrasslin' contests if he could.

His actions towards His family: This is where Tech truly differentiates himself from the typical ‘geek’ character and leans hard into King of the Hill territory. Whereas a normal nerd character might nag and panic when his sister falls down a hole while drilling for explosives in a cave (dear God Doug, how much more redneck examples can you keep pointing out, I’m exhausted), Tech merely YEETS HIMSELF down into the abyss. Or when his brother picks a fight in the mess hall? Does Tech run away, or just start punching people like it's past closing time in the Applebee's parking lot in Daytona and the Dolphins lost? And let's not discuss the season finale :(. Rednecks are some loyal folks, family first, and that’s our man’s right there. 

There you have it, says Doug. Tech isn’t lighter because he’s better than the regs. The opposite.

You can not be a deranged, adrenaline filled, sassy, goggled weirdo flying throughout space and blowing shit up and not be pale AF with twiggy legs and a receding hairline that’s edging towards Hunter S. Thompson level, born out of America's Sunshine state while a hurricane chases you out.

::turns up ZZ Top::

[heycerulean]

(This is for the OC travelling ask game. I'm not too sure about the rules but I'm under the impression that I'm the one giving a description of one of my OCs and you'll tell me which of your OCs will get along with them.)

*You encounter a young man with blue hair and blue eyes. He sports a pair of stubby horns, with one having an accessory dangling from it.

*There was mischief in his eyes but he allows you to approach. He sports a dark blue cardigan and navy blue pants. You take notice that his tail was had some feathers, yet occasionally, you do see a poisonous stinger sticking out of it.

*He refuses to give you a name. (You'll later find out his name is Kazuya. But that is for another time.) His first instinct was to pull a prank on you within the first 5 minutes of meeting you.

*Depending on when you meet him, he could either be an antagonist or just a headache. You later realize that it's mostly because of his creator that he's civil. No matter how much he would rather sow discord and chaos, he would listen to her word. Her word is law to him, despite her obvious discomfort of the fact.

*However, despite that, he often tries to provoke her anger by causing headaches from his misadventures with his spells and potions. Should you participate in these pranks, he will teach you some tricks and give you magic lessons. (Or you could just ask. He'd indulge you but be prepared to have a strict teacher. "All that talent for magic and he uses it for pranks," his creator would say despite smiling.)

*He prefers not to talk about his feelings but he does occasionally give you things you mention you wanted in passing. If he does leave you a note with the gift, he puts his words in the most annoying way possible.

*He's not one for dates but he can arrange an outing to cheer you up should you have bonded enough. Bond with him even more and there is a chance he wouldn't mind destroying the world if it means you are safe and happy.

TL:DR : Kazuya is a powerful prankster who has a lot of talent in magic. He would rather be chaotic but he wants certain people to not be upset with him (still pulls pranks on them though). He carries hints of "villain who'd destroy the world for you" sometimes.

(Haha. Whoops. I gushed about him a biiit too much. XD I hope you don't mind. I'm curious which of your OCs would get along with him should they meet.)

(thank you so much for the ask! kazuya sounds super cool, i love to hear about other people's ocs.) I'd have to say Az, or maybe a young Lexi Mayridge. See, on one hand, Azalea Xirelle could probably relate to him the most; they're both powerful people with a penchant for general mischief and tomfoolery, though Az might find his loyalty to one person a little unsettling. However, a young Lexi- before all the government stuff, maybe back when she was still a student athlete with the world before her- they'd get along great too. He's got spells and potions, Lexi works with magic chemistry; and thought Lexi doesn't exactly have something to be loyal to, she's very determined to reach whatever she sets her eyes on, and i think he'd respect that. Also, third option; Teq Quetzeve. They've probably got the most in common; Teq's a heavy weapons specialist that further specialized into integrating magic into weapons, so I think they could pull off some really cool stuff. Add that to their extreme loyalty and love for jokes, and they'd be a pretty powerful duo. I feel like most of the cast wouldn't be immediately hostile, just very distrusting. Again, thank you so much for the ask- your ocs have always seemed cool and i love Kazuya's design.

[jessicas-pi]

WIP tag game

Tagged by @tarisilmarwen

Rules: In a new post, list the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them and then post a little snippet of it or tell them something about it! And then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

I have a terrifying number of WIPs so I'm not going to do every single one but here's most of them, semi-organized by time period:

TCW fics:

Matchmaking, Mad Science, And Accidental Child Acquisition: How To Bother Your Bodyguard, Befriend Some Social Outcasts, Raise A Foundling, And Survive The Ongoing Sheevery (You Might Just Fall In Love, Too)

Ugh, look what you made me do

Jaig Eyes and Diamonds

Midnight Snacks, Space PowerPoints, And Jedi-Nightsister Intercultural Relations

the sheevery ends and the shenanakins begin

Fives' Blyla Fic (Feat. Jesse's Beta Reader Notes)

A Friend in Need (of therapy and maybe a nap)

The Secret Life Of Queen Apailana

mandalorianakin

The Pad(awan) Batch

Rebels/OT fics:

Paint Bombs, Pixie Cuts, And Elopement: How To Spite Your Mother, Troll Your Friends, Scandalize High Society, And Escape An Arranged Marriage (You Might Just Stop A War, Too)

rebelvengers assemble

Licorice offerings (and other ways to cope)

Graveyards and ghost towns (and other stuff you wouldn't expect to be bonding experiences but were anyway)

that awkward moment when your bf's family is a bunch of oversized judgy canines

Starbirds and Wolves

Yes, I’ve Been Brokenhearted (Blue Since The Day We Parted)

All I've Learned Has Overturned

It's A Rich Man's World

We're In This Together

April's Tomfoolery

In Hindsight, This May Not Have Been The Best Idea

iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii'm hOOKED ON A FEEELLING

Local Teenagers' Vacation Ruined By Tropes, More At Six

the jetpack fic

This Is Fine

The Phantom(s) Of The Eclipse

this is getting out of hand now there are two of ALL of them

and they were CELLMATES

Commit To The Bit

The Promises AU

How To Train Your Mythosaur

It's About Time

Lost In (Wild) Space

Frances Hodgson Burnett Star Wars Rebels Crossover

Parenting For Dummies

Philosophies, Prophecies, And Even More Found Family

road trip! road trip!

Twin Blades And Beskar

Runie Kressa Wridger’s Guide To Human-Merfolk Relationships: Friends, Enemies, Family, And Really Hot Guys You’re Gonna Marry Someday.

The Rebel Chronicles

AAAAAANGST

even more adoption

Ship Wars

You Could Do Better

she would not, in fact, Let It Go

Other fics:

Time Heals Old Hate (put your armor on)

Time Heals Shaken Hope (brave the coming night)

Time Makes Things Known

Time Tells Most Secrets (and quinlan tells the rest)

What Time Cannot Take (long as we are loved)

bo-katan and her tin can man

Befriended!

MandaloREYan

untitled modern au

local goth space prince adopts 31 assassins: could this be a redemption arc?

And since there's no way I'm going to be able to tag 56 people, I'll do an open tag to literally anyone who wants to play!

[randomwriteronline]

part of @cantankerouscanuck's Bionicle/LU AU

Something was definitely fishy.

Now, perhaps, an excessively clever fellow Nudge was not - which was fair, considering Bruisers were as renowned for their intelligence just as much as Kanohi Dragons were for their affability (that is to say, not at all) - but even a thick head like his could tell that the rest of the crew was acting mighty odd in these past few days.

He'd chalked it up to the whole reuniting thing at first: after all, Wind's usual demeanor had been off the closer they'd gotten to the prison his little Ga-sister had been locked up in for the crime of looking just a little bit too much like some other unknown blue armored being, and the frenzy of the rescue had fully exploded once the Air Matoran had swooped Aryll right in his arms in the safety of their vessel as it sailed away, both squeezing each other tight between the tears and the laughter while the cannons roared as they set the water ablaze to scare off anybody else who might have gotten the bright idea of trying to follow their tracks.

But by now everybody had calmed down, even their sweet new guest who had been so scared of him at first.

And yet the tomfoolery had not stopped.

It had started with Niko, of course - because everything started with Niko.

That sneaky little Matoran of Sonics had been struck by one of his bouts of frenetic, inexplicable, incomprehensible inspiration and as a result he and that pesky little Plasma pest that was Mako had begun getting really into booby trapping the whole ship, it seemed: everywhere Nudge tried to walk to was now a minefield of tripping wires and false planks, meaning he would be stumbling everywhere whenever he wanted to so much as go from below to above deck or vice versa.

How anybody else managed to find their way around his tricks was beyond him. The only one who also ended up tripping all around the vessel seemed to be poor Senza, in whose arms he was often caught just before slamming his face on the boards whenever he was not the one rescuing the Skakdi from the same fate.

Come to think of it, it was mighty suspicious that this never happened to his equally large and bulky cousin Gonzo...

As it was that the little incomprehensible stone (Magnetism) rat, Zuko, had begun taking his eyes off of the horizon he was supposed to surveil in order to put his looking glass at work intently following something right on the deck...

Or that Tetra and Link had been scampering off from his sight muttering gibbersih a little too similar to snickering and chuckling for his liking...

Something was afoot.

If only he could figure it out.

In the end, his only clue on this head-scratching mystery finally arrived from nobody other than little ol' fearless Aryll herself.

He heard her stifle a giggle as she hurried over to him so fast that her mask almost bounced off her face one she stopped a few feet from him, eyes curved in a little smile that knew a lot but seemed a little too keen on keeping it all to itself. She held her arms behind her back and swayed a little, laughing a few times as he raised his brows at her to make increasingly silly inquisitive expressions.

At last, Nudge kneeled down to be face-to-face with her: "What are you lookin' for, sister?" he asked in the sharp tone that amused her so much, "Somethin' between my teeth?"

The Ga-Matoran giggled some more and shook her head.

"Oh? Then what is it?"

"It's a secret!" she laughed.

"Is it one you can tell me? I'm good at keepin' these things!"

Aryll shook her head again, but waved her hand towards herself as she began skipping away: "You can see it!"

See it? What sort of secret needed seeing? His mind went to important dates, to figure out if there were any Matoran or Skakdi festivities coming about, but none came to mind. Had they found a treasure map with something he might've liked and kept it hidden from him to regale him with a surprise? But why hadn't Niko let it slip, since that was exactly the sort of thing he just couldn't have shut up about no matter how much he or anybody else might have wanted him to?

Even more puzzled (and taking great care not to trigger any traps on his way), the Bruiser took off after the little one running above deck.

Dang those tiny Matoran legs! Who gave them the right to be so quick and nimble? He was struggling to keep her in his sights with how fast she was moving! And her height definitely wasn't helping - she was so small that he couldn't even raise his head a moment, keeping it down before he lost track of her--

Bam!

His head collided with another one, producing the classic sound of a tough Skakdi skull slamming against something just as hard.

Both him and the unfortunate goon he'd crashed into began blathering loudly at each other, screaming insults at each other before even opening their eyes. Of course that meant that when he actually had the time to look at who the hell he was yelling at him and found that it was not Gonzo, but Senza, he immediately shut himself up in mortification - which the other also did, clenching his beautiful toothy face in a comical grimace of guilt.

They held each other's gaze for a long moment; then, realizing neither had meant to hurl the worst names possible at the other, they both broke into matching nervous laughs.

"You scared me," Senza apologized, rubbing the spot where they'd collided a little more gently. "I didn't mean to ram into ya like that..."

"Ah, that's my fault, my fault," Nudge hushed him: "I wasn't lookin'-"

"Neither was I! I was chasing Wind, and ya know how those little scamps are - they make 'em far too small, I say!"

The Bruiser perked at that: "Wind?"

"Ye, he was insisting I had some business here-"

"I was chasin' his sister!"

"And why's that?"

"Took me to see a secret, she said!"

The two hulking figures stared at each other for a moment, brains slowly working together to come to a similar conclusion.

The voices were faster than them.

From right above them, a far from angelic choir arose in a barely harmonized cacophony to delight them with an old sea shanty typical of some far off Xia ports where sailors heckled at the lowly dock workers (because if they tried that on the females in charge they wouldn't survive to tell the tale), which told the tale of a poor male holding tight onto his raft as a water-dweller asked him for his hand to either save him or drown him - which option was the true one being source of wild speculations among academics of lowly pubs and cabin girls alike.

It got through the first four verses and refrain unhindered, but only thanks to the surprise factor; at the start of the fifth Tetra was already giving up on the lyrics to just laugh at Nudge's embarrassed wrath, Aryll was giggling too much to keep her singing stead, Niko and Wind were throwing dried petals into the Bruiser and the Skakdi's faces to shut up their indignated shouts, and Mako was hiding behind the other Matoran to evade their wrath. Only Zuko and that traitor Gonzo were still singing loud and proud, the former's awful pronounciation mixing with the other's excessively forced basso buffo to concoct the worst sound available to any being capable of speech.

Nudge and Senza snorted furiously to keep themselves from laughing, because by the Great Spirit they were real damn mad - trying to set them up like that! Again! For the fifth time! - but oh, if this wasn't just the funniest possible thing.

[noisester]

LITTLE MUSE FACTS.

Instructions: Fill out the questions about your muse, repost, tag as many people as you want.

1) What does your muse smell like?

Depends on the crime activity he's performed. On a non-hectic day he smells like sweets and candy corn, since he carries a few thousands of them to use as projectiles for his slingshot. If not then bomb powder and engine oil whenever he's messing with explosives and machines. Bastard.

2) How often does your muse bathe/shower?

Twice a day. One before work and another one after the daily tomfoolery. Believe it or not, he does care about looking nice and clean in front of an audience (even drinks mouthwash after his smokes so his girlfriend doesn't give him an earful!). So much so that he makes sure to use the highest quality skin care products available in the market™ (I haven't known peace ever since you sent me this, Kirm).

3) Does your muse have any tattoos or piercings?

Nuh uh! Though he does magically get a tattoo on his right arm during funny moments, say when he's wielding a rocket launcher (check rocket HUD). In true cartoon fashion it disappears in the next shot.

4) Any body movement quirks?(EX: tapping heel, shaking knee)”

When does this creature stay still. Tell me, when. Other than when it's funny. Drumming his fingers, tapping his foot when irritated/impatient and jumping in place when he's livid are amongst the HUGE list of gestures he does. He also has a bunch of fidget toys lying on his desk at all times to keep his hands busy.

5) What do they sleep in?

Gotta be those cartoony PJs you see on TV, with the night cap/mask and eye cover to top it all off (would he have slippers with his face on it? Rats, maybe? I don't know. I'll have to figure that out later).

6) What’s their favorite piece of clothing?

His hat and his cape, of course! They're the signature Noise™ combo you almost never see him without. His cape especially is handy for gliding and parrying... somehow.

7) What do they do when they wake up?

Obnoxiously loud alarm that only does its job when it's comedic because *checks name* yeah. Wake up. Big annoying stretch and yawn. Take a shower. Get a warm drink with treats or a stupidly large bowl of 99% sugar cereals that somehow exists in his place, then head off to work with whatever means of transport you're in the mood for (usually his skateboard). It's essentially your basic routine with the Noise twist added to it, and although he often leaves before the missus for his early morning broadcasts, he does make sure to do small checkups on her beforehand.

8) How do they sleep? Position?

I need you, the reader, to listen to me. Okay. It’s important that you listen to me. I am speaking directly in your ear right now. Okay. Listen. Do not invite him to a sleepover. Ever. Maybe in certain nights/once in a blue moon he's oddly still and quiet but? I cannot stress how loud his snoring can get when he finally drifts off, let alone all the turning and idiotic positions he does. Sometimes it gets so bad he finds himself upside down in bed or even face-down on the floor. Good lord.

9) What do their hands feel like?

Surprisingly soft! At least not entirely considering the myriads of schemes they're involved in, but also not so rough that they're completely worn down, either. To no one's surprise his grubby hands often steer trouble in a multitude of ways, yet through the sheer power of cartoon physics he can just. Look bruised and battered on cue, then completely fine in a few minutes.

Tagged by: @thetravelershub! Tagging: I DON'T KNOW I'M PRETTY SURE REINA TAGGED THE WHOLE WORLD

[poisoned-peppermint]

Part 4 of incorrect quotes because i feel obligated to make more due to the sheer number of people who liked it

Dream: My dearest beloved fuckos, is a fun, gender-neutral way to begin a speech

George: See also, esteemed bastards

Bad: Gentlefolk, Ferals, and Domesticated cryptids. 

Sapnap: My fellow yees and haws

~~~~~~~

Techno:Hey I know skyrim is revered as a classic but are we just going to ignore the fact that the entire game only had like 3 voice actors

Wilbur:Stop right there criminal cum

Techno:My ancestors are smiling at me, bastard, can you say the same

~~~~~~~

Foolish:When's your bedtime :)

Purpled: Whenever I next collapse in purely up to the gods

~~~~~~

Ranboo:Human skin is a fursuit for skeletons 

Tubbo: i’m going to debone you like a fucking trout

~~~~~~

Bad:You’re enough

Bad: love yourself!!!!!!! or suffer my wrath!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dream:And by wrath I mean love!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bad:no I mean wrath!!!!! You reading this, if you don't love yourself I’ll beat you with a stick!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~~~~~~~

Bad:I hope everyone is today well! And tomorrow!!!! After that you’re on your own.

~~~~~~

Bad:what am I supposed to do all day while you’re at work

Skeppy:I don’t know, what do you normally do while I’m gone

Bad: wait for you to get back

~~~~~~

Velvet:For my next stunt, I’ll wake up at 5am on the day I can sleep in

Ant:Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.

Velvet:Early to bed and early to rise makes me a massive bitch

~~~~~~

Tubbo: 3:23 AM make a wish

Ranboo: I wish that you would go to sleep

Tuddo: Yeah well I wish I grew an inch taller every day as you get an inch shorter until you’re as flat as as a piece of paper and I’m 11 feet tall

Ranboo: You’re going to die of a mixture of skeletal instability and heart disease.

Tubbo: Yeah but I’ll look good while doing it.

~~~~~~

Bad:Disrespect me again and I’ll determine your bodies resonant frequency and play a jaunty horn solo that boils your miserable organs inside out 

~~~~~~

Quackity: If I were dating you?  Well, heh. Let’s just say horses wouldn't be called horses anymore

Karl: hey what the honk does this mean…..I’m shaking what does this mean!

~~~~~~

Skeppy: Are you ok?

Bad wrapped in a burrito blanket drinking his 6th cup of coffee: Yes, this is exactly what mental stability looks like

~~~~~~

Sam: My hands are cold

Ponk: *holds their hands*

Ponk: better?

Sam: My lips are cold too

~~~~~~

George at dream’s funeral: can I have a moment alone with them?

Sapnap: of course *leaves*

George leaning over dream’s casket: Now listen, I know you’re not dead.

Dream: yeah no shit

~~~~~~

Skeppy, jokingly: I should have Bad kill you for that.

Bad, peering around the corner: Who do I need to kill?

Skeppy: Wh- no, I was just kidding around.

Bad, pulling out a switchblade: No, who’s bothering you

~~~~~~

Bad *watching the news*: Some idiot tried to fight a squid at the aquarium.

Skeppy *covered in ink*: Maybe the squirt was being a dick.

~~~~~~

Peacock: *spreads feathers at Bad*

Skeppy: It’s trying to attract a mate

Bad, extremely confused: *shyly lifts top*

Skeppy: No!

~~~~~~

Sapnap: Karl, do you eat olives? My dad wants to know

Karl: No, I hate olives. Olives are the spawn of satan. I hate olives so much my mom forced me to live in Mount olive for the rest of my childhood as a curse from the olive gods. Do you understand how much olives have ruined my life? I'm so offended that you asked me that have some consideration for people who have been abused by olives please!

Sapnap: K A R L ……….they’re just olives!!?

Karl: JUST OLIVES EXCUSE!

~~~~~~

Tommy: If you’re bored you can simply close your eyes and rotate a cow in your mind. It’s free and the cops can’t stop you

~~~~~~

Wilbur: is there anyone even named sheldon irl?

Tubbo: my class turtle from 6th grade :)

Wilbur: that’s a turtle

Tubbo: When god sings with his creations, will a turtle not be part of the choir?

~~~~~~

Ranboo: No bcuz why do ppl like salad?? What’s so good about it

Tubbo: chew leaf like god intended

Ranboo: No

Tubbo: Abandon god and see what he does next time you lift your hands in prayer

~~~~~~~

Tommy: Guys, there’s a monster under my bed and it’s really ugly.

Wilbur, on the bottom bunk: Honestly, fuck you.

~~~~~~

Quackity: So according to the cease and desist order I got, apparently you can’t ‘legally’ be a lawyer if your license is ‘cut out of a cereal box’.

~~~~~~

Puffy: If you had too, what would you give up food or sex?

Bad: Sex.

Skeppy: Seriously, answer faster.

Bad: I’m sorry honey, when they said sex I wasn’t thinking about sex with you.

Skeppy: It’s like a giant hug.

Puffy: Ant, what about you? What would you give up sex or food?

Ant: Food.

Puffy: Okay, how about sex or dinosaurs?

Ant: ……...Oh my God it’s like the movie Sophie’s Choice.

Gumi: What about you Velvet? What would you give up sex or food?

Velvet: Oh… um… I don’t know, it’s too hard.

Gumi: No, you gotta pick one.

Velvet: Um, food… no, sex… no, food…sex… food. Ugh! I don’t know! I want both! I- I want Antfrost on bread!

~~~~~~~

Tommy, holding a gun: If the conspiracies about life being a simulation are true WHOEVERS CONTROLLING MY SIM I JUST WANNA TALK.

~~~~~~~

Bad: Why are you guys acting like this?

Boomer: Oh, we’re not acting. We really are like this.

~~~~~~

Techno: Dream has only knocked me out three times this week. Our friendship is really developing.

~~~~~~

Tommy: You’re pathetic!

Wilbur: You’re pathetic-er!

Techno: You’re both losers.

~~~~~~

Bad: I wish I could help you, but I shorn’t.

Skeppy: Bad, please!

Bad: What part of shorn’t don’t you understand?

~~~~~~

Tubbo: Why did you leave Wrestlemania on for Michal?

Ranboo: They need to learn how to protect us.

~~~~~~

Antfrost: I regret getting dragged into your heterosexual tomfoolery.

~~~~~~

Bad: Strawberry milk doesn’t taste like strawberry OR milk.

Skeppy: Go the fuck to sleep Bad!

Bad: LANGUAGE!!

~~~~~~

Ranboo: Tubbo, please calm down.

Tubbo: I asked for two large fries!

Tubbo: *dumps fries onto table*

Tubbo: But all they did was give me a MILLION FUCKING LITTLE ONES!

~~~~~~

Bad: That was the worst throw ever. Of all time.

Skeppy: Not my fault. Somebody put a wall in the way.

~~~~~~

Wilbur: When you’ve been on the internet for as long as I have, you develop thick skin.

Tommy: Navy blue isn’t your color.

Wilbur: Navy blue brings out my eyes you prick! *Chases after Tommy*

~~~~~~

Bad: *Pulls a glass a water from out of nowhere*

Puffy: Where did you get that?.

Bad: My pocket.

Puffy: How do you keep a glass of water in your pocket?

Bad: Skills.

~~~~~~

Tubbo: I will come to your house after work and knock on your window at 11 AM. You will not open the curtains, knowing full well what awaits you, but the knocking only grows louder, more demanding. Finally it stops, your ears ringing. You nervously let out a breath you didn't know you were holding. You're safe now. Minutes pass by and you start to relax. And then you hear a knock at the front door. Like before, you stay still and clutch the blankets around you. You try to tell your self that it's just your imagination. Maybe the milk man? But why would he come so late? Everyone else was asleep, save for Naomi who was playing video games down stairs. To your relief, the knocking stops after a few. Minutes and you breath easy once more. Until you hear a knock on your bedroom door. You don't move. It's just your imagination. She isn't here. She can't be here. You tell yourself, shutting your eyes and willing yourself to sleep. The knock comes again, but with horror you realize that it came from the closet inside your room. You know that you have no choice. You get up, climbing out of bed with shaking limbs. You walk to the closest, trembling, and holding back the tears threatening to spill over your porcelain cheeks. You hesitate with your hand over the closet handle. Maybe it's just your imagination? She's not really there. You can go to sleep and laugh it off in the morning. Your naive thoughts are cut off by another, more demanding knock on the closet door, inches from your face. You know what you have to do. You open the closet door, and there she stands. Chuck e cheese, the mouse looms over you in the dim light. It's soulless eyes boor into you. It raises its arms, and you flinch as it begins to floss at lightning speed. Tears spill over your cheeks. This is the last thing you'll ever see.

Ranboo: Wait, Chuck e cheese’s pronouns are she/her? Trans Chuck e cheese? Good for her.

~~~~~~~~

Bad: Would you like something to drink? *They opened the fridge* We have water, milk, juice, spiders, Dr. Pepper-

Quackity: Spiders?

Bad: Spiders it is then.

Quackity: No, that wasn’t-

*But they were already pouring him a brimming glass of spiders…

~~~~~~

Puffy : Make her pussy wet not her eyes.

Velvet : Make his dick hard not his life.

Punz : Break her bed not her heart.

Skeppy : Play with his boobs not his feelings. 

Ant : Get on his dick not his nerves.

Bad : Always salt your pasta while boiling it.

~~~~~~~

Wilbur: Bet you can’t eat 15 crayons!

Tommy: Bet you I can!

Phil: *sips coffee, checks to make sure 911 is still on speed dial, and goes back to reading the paper*

~~~~~~~

Ant: We need a way to lure in new customers?

Ponk: Maybe we could have some fun, interactive events!

Skeppy: Badboyhalo bath water.

Bad: ABSOLUTELY NOT!

~~~~~~~~

Fundy: GET BACK HERE YOU DUMB FUCK!

Wilbur: LET ME RUN FROM THE CONSEQUENCES OF MY ACTIONS!

~~~~~~~~

Bad: Mint is just cold spicy.

Pummel party Squad: …

Gumi: What the actual fuck is wrong with you.

~~~~~~~~

Quackity: Isn’t it amazing how I can feel so bad and still look so good?

~~~~~~~

Tommy: Why does my arm shake and turn bright red when I’m eating dirt?

Phil:

Phil: Why are you eating dirt?

Tommy: Did I ask you if I should eat dirt? No, so answer my question.

~~~~~~~

Tubbo: I wish I could control wasps and bees to sting my enemies.

Quackity: You’re too young to have enemies.

Tubbo: You don’t even know.

~~~~~~~~

Skeppy: Is there a cactus where your heart should be?

Puffy: What’s up your ass this morning!

Bad: *walks in* …Hi!!

Puffy: Hmm… nevermind.

Skeppy: WAIT NO!

~~~~~~~~

Skeppy: Ha! Don’t you know the trappers trap can trap the trapper?

Skeppy: I must be losing it, I’m quoting Bad.

~~~~~~~

Skeppy: Bad, I sense hostility.

Bad: Good, because I hate you

~~~~~~~

Bad: Are you a painting?

Skeppy: What-?

Bad: Because I want to pin you to a wall.

Skeppy: OH GOD I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO SAY YOU WANTED TO HANG ME OR SOMETHING-

~~~~~~

Tommy: You’re giving me a sticker?

Phil: Not just a sticker. That is a sticker of a kitty saying “me-wow!”

Tommy: I’m not a preschooler.

Phil: Fine, I’ll take it back-

Tommy: I earned this, back off!

~~~~~~

Dream, sweating: George, there’s something I need to ask you-

George: Finally! You’re proposing!

Dream: How’d you know?

George: Dream, you’ve dropped the ring five times during dinner.

George: I even picked it up once

~~~~~~~~

*Bad and Skeppy looking at a locked gate into a park*

Bad: Aw. :(

Skeppy: You know what they say.

Bad: Please don’t-

Skeppy: BE GAY DO CRIME! *hops gate*

Bad: Frick-

~~~~~~~~

let me know if ya’ll want more <3

[fandomwriterstuff]

“We’re a well-oiled team of military-grade kindergarteners,” his best friend, and the only other human on the ship who would understand what kindergarten was, continued chastising him and his companions. “The level of education and training among the three of you eclipses that of the entire rest of the members of this operation,” Annabeth continued, pointing her finger individually at himself, his pilot Jason, and his Chief Science Officer Nico. “You know, I’m not that surprised with you, Percy, but you are our XO so you should really be more responsible,” he winced at that, still feeling a bit of imposter syndrome at being the Commander of the USS Olympus. “Jason, shouldn’t you be piloting a ship or something?” At that, he saluted her and did an about face before scampering off to get into more trouble. “And you, you’re definitely way too responsible to have gotten mixed up with this Seaweed Brain and Sparky, so what’s in this tomfoolery for you?”

Nico, the only Neptunian on the ship, shifted his large black wings self consciously under the scrutiny of their Chief of Operations. Percy, as the Commander of the vessel, felt obligated to protect his usually stoic and well-behaved… acquaintance? Di Angelo was reserved, almost standoffish, and resented anyone who tried to stick up for him for some reason, but that didn’t stop Percy’s stupid seaweed brain from doing so. Hence the acquaintance. Percy was 99% sure Di Angelo didn’t consider him a friend. But he was nice to Percy and a great officer, so Percy considered him his friend.

“It was my fault, Annie,” he used her childhood nickname carefully, not knowing whether it would soften her up or piss her off more. He was hoping for softening. “It was just another one of Jason and my dumb ideas that we thought we would need a scientist to help with, and we didn’t want to piss off Leo by involving him in it. You know how he is about his engineer and warp cores and whatnot,” Percy held his hands up placatingly. “Leave Di Angelo out of this, he has sciencey things to do, isn’t that right?” Percy side-eyed his companion who (not surprisingly) rolled his eyes.

“I try not to get involved with human pranks or even Jovian mischief, but Officer Grace and First Officer Jackson were about to be meddling with my linguistics team. It isn’t my duty to tell my superiors what to do, so I sought out the next best option, supervising and ensuring no lasting damage was done to the physical or emotional state of the linguistics team. Now,” Here Percy held in a smirk as Di Angelo shrugged. “If they caused interference with the machinery of the ship, that wouldn’t be my expertise, so I allowed it to happen and-” Percy held back a laugh as the other male started speaking even faster to get everything out as Annabeth turned redder and redder. “I’m very sorry about that, truly, but I had no control over the situation.”

“No control over the situation? You three broke our LIT machine and now we have to go back to Earth as soon as we pass close enough to fix it. Soon enough nobody on this ship will understand each other,” the woman across from them crossed her arms and Percy shrunk back a bit.

“I want to make a joke about a machine being called “LIT,” but I feel like it isn’t the right time,” he muttered. “I know the Linguistic Inhibition Technology is important, but most of us have a working understanding of at least one other language, so it shouldn’t be a huge issue, right?”

“You know it works by connecting to the implant technology in our brains, so as it shuts down one by one, members of this ship from spaces stations and planets far and wide will have no clue why they suddenly can’t understand their XO, or their Chief Officer, or their best friend. So you better explain this. And you have to tell them that we’re going straight back to Earth to fix it because no nearby planets have the same brain implant tech as us. Damn Terrans and their brand name technology copyrights,” Annabeth grumbled and finally turned around to walk off.

“Hey, you’re Terran, too!” Percy shouted after her, but she just flipped him the bird.

“She can do that?” Di Angelo asked, side-eyeing Percy.

“Yeah, she’s been my best friend since we were twelve. As long as she doesn’t undermine my authority in front of everyone else, I don’t really care. I’ve done way worse to her,” Percy laughed at the other man’s frown. “Nothing bad, just pranks and things of that sort. Maybe when we get back to Earth we can show you where we’re from. You never set foot off of the training grounds while you were in school.”

“I would… like that,” Di Angelo paused and gave Percy a soft smile.

“Great,” Percy patted the younger male on the shoulder and made his way to the Command Center.

Percy sat himself down in the rotating chair and pressed on the comms device.

“Gooooood evening crew of the USS Olympus, this is your Commanding Officer, Percy Jackson, speaking,” he smiled at the engineering crew that was scuttling by, only for one of them to pause and look at him like he was speaking a different language… Whoops.

“There was a malfunction with the Linguistic Inhibition Technology and we will be returning to Earth henceforth to repair it before the damage becomes problematic. You may experience glitches with your implant technology and may revert to only understanding your first language and those you have studied extensively. If somebody looks like they’re not understanding what I’m saying right now, please escort them to the linguistics team in Science Bay 3. Carry on. Jackson, out.” He clicked again and the mic turned off.

He sighed, this would be one of his bigger mistakes. They were supposed to be exploring, but they couldn’t do that if nobody could speak to one another. One trip home couldn’t hurt him, and he was sure Annabeth would be happy to see her father.

It wasn’t until later after the Chief Officer meeting when someone finally asked Percy about Earth. For many of the non-humans on the ship, Earth was a place to get education and training to go out in the star fleet, and they never set foot outside the campus grounds, just like Di Angelo. But people had stopped asking him questions because Earth was basically “Space Australia,” as Annabeth had explained to him. The adaptability of humans and their need to pack bond astounded many and horrified many others. So, he stopped talking about home.

It was a new member of their ship, Novax (a Vulcan who was a part of Leo’s engineering team), who asked him about it first.

“I hear Earth is 75% made of pure salt water, and is filled with animals of all kinds. Do you have a favorite water animal?” he asked Percy excitedly.

“Definitely dolphins, though they aren’t underwater creatures. Like humans they need oxygen to breathe, and come up for air very often. My favorite actual underwater species would have to be a hippocampus from Neptune. I’ve always wanted to go and see one, but my human anatomy prevents me from going on-planet,” Percy explained and sipped on his hot tea.

“There are a million creatures in the ocean and you pick one that doesn’t breathe underwater?” Clarisse grunted. His Chief Tactical Officer was a brutish Martian, but very specialized in weapons. “And your second favorite isn’t even Terran.”

“What else do you know about the ‘ocean’?” Novax breathed, leaning forward.

“Eh, not much,” Percy shrugged.

“I’m not sure I heard that correctly, maybe my LIT unit isn’t functioning well,” another member of engineering asked, Nyssa. “Your planet is 75% water and you don’t even know what is inside it?”

“I could tell you about the people who spend their life learning about what survives in the deep depths,” Percy looked up, knowing he had all of the non-Terrans hooked on every word. Even Di Angelo had paused in his note taking and was staring wide-eyed at Percy. “But I don’t know if you’d want to know.”

“No we do!” Nyssa exclaimed. “There are people who dedicate their lives to a place that’s literally not navigable by humans, the main inhabitants of the planet?”

“Well as you said, most of the planet is water. Which means that coastal communities are filled with fisherman, whalers, swimmers, and more. I could tell you about some of those. I could also tell you about the scientists that spend years of their lives building bots that can’t even come close to withstanding the pressure at the deepest depths without imploding, or I could tell you about those that do come close,” he shrugged.

“What happened to those?”

“The video feed cut out after only seeing multiple rows of sharp, jagged teeth,” Annabeth answered, her sharp grin frightening those who hadn’t noticed her. Some forgot that she was Terran, because she was also half Minervan.

“I could tell you about whales. Beautiful, they come in black and white or grey or blue. But they can be as big as almost 100 feet long. That’s as long as most pirate ships. And they could fit about 400 average sized humans in their mouths. You don’t want to cross one of them. And they only live on the surface. The things that live in the deep,” Percy shuddered for effect. There were no Neptunians on the ship, so there were no natural water dwellers there, so all of his rapt listeners were shocked by this information. “There’s the anglerfish. They light up the dark with an antenna on top of their heads, and the light lures in prey. But it’s so dim elsewhere that you don’t see their big sharp teeth until you’re right up against them,” he murmured. “Giant squids are almost as big as whales but not nearly as peaceful and beautiful. They have eight arms and two tentacles that could wrap around any boat and crush it.”

“Ten limbs?” Nyssa whispered, clearly disturbed.

“Plus, the Portuguese Man o’ War,” Percy shrugged nonchalantly. “Also known as the floating terror. It’s like a big blue jellyfish that sits innocently on top of the water with huge blue tentacles that sit just underneath with a sting strong enough to kill a full grown human.”

“Don’t worry,” Annabeth grinned that shark grin again. “Percy won’t tell you about the stories of the old days. He doesn’t want to scare you.”

“That was the not scary part?” Novax gulped.

“Anyway, I just got notified that we’ll be back on Earth in a few days, so brace yourselves,” and with that, she stood and left them all staring after her. When the door clicked shut, Percy had all eyes back on him. He shrugged.

“Don’t look at me. I wasn’t going to tell you about the kr- nevermind,” he stood. “Di Angelo, with me,” the younger officer stood, back to business and was at Percy’s side again in a moment. “Clear your schedule, you’re spending shore leave with me, pal.”

“Great,” came the deadpan reply.

“Don’t sound so somber,” Percy rolled his eyes. “I’m just going to show you the beach and maybe a good gay bar. You need to let off some steam my dude.”

The other male reddened.

“That is so… That is…” he huffed. “Highly inappropriate.” he glared down at the ground and Percy felt a little bad, maybe the guy wasn’t out? But it was clear he had a preference for males. Oh well, that foot was already in Percy’s mouth.

“Fine. But I will be attending and I am a great dancer so you’re missing out,” he winked at the flustered officer and made his way back to his cabin. It would be an interesting few days.

He made a plan with Annabeth. Day one before shore leave, Percy would spread a rumor to Novax about the kraken. Bigger than a giant squid and meaner. Known to crush entire pirate ships in the olden days.

Day two, Annabeth would mention sirens to Nyssa. Hideous creatures that could lure you in with their voices and lead you to believe you were bringing your ship in to everything you ever wanted, when in reality you would crash your ships and then drown.

Day three, Percy would tell Leo about the Megalodon. A definitely very real shark so big you couldn’t even imagine it. Percy shuddered at that one.

“But, there are some good things,” Percy was speaking to Nico Di Angelo from his Commander chair, in ear shot of some of the participants of the conversation a few nights prior. “Mermaids, the siren’s nicer cousin species. And the lost city of Atlantis. Known to be a great and bountiful city, lost to the sea and cursed by the gods to be stuck down there forever. Some believe it still exists, but it’s within the Bermuda Triangle.”

“What, pray tell, is the Bermuda Triangle,” Clarisse sighed.

“Hard to explain. Ships just… go in… and they never come out,” Annabeth shrugged. “Planes go down. Ships wreck. People who go in don’t come back out, so we don’t know if Atlantis is really there or not.”

“That’s… terrifying,” Novax whispered as he walked by.

Percy was sure he had created a healthy fear of Earth’s oceans in his crew. And he meant to, because while he loved the beach and swimming, he did want to make them shy away from the depths. They wouldn’t do well to explore it.

[alicemitch09writes]

(un)loving miya atsumu

one.

the beginning of everything

then...

The place was new, that much was clear.

The buildings, houses were comparably bigger than the ones you’re used to.

And it was a lot less cold, since you weren't in Miyagi anymore.

It had been a long drive to Hyougo.

"Nee-san," you poked at your older sister's shoulder, she lazily stirred. On your other side was your younger brother, who dozed off as well. And then there was you, awake. For 12 hours. Not a wink of sleep. For some reason, you couldn't sleep during trips. Your uncle had said maybe because you were an anxious traveler, your mom would like to think that your mind was too active and liked to take things in.

You didn't know.

Hey, you were only 9.

A long way from home and into your new home in Kobe, Hyogo.

The whole trip - process, included, had been a blur. You could make out holding your sister and brother’s hands, hugging your crying kind neighbors and playmates, but feeling like a robot throughout the process.

And now, with your feet planted on the ground, (e/c) eyes just taking everything in - it was a lot to take in.

As was the house, the house you visited a few times – maybe once or twice. It was bigger, much bigger than your old one – wider, a two-story building, but enough to house four more guests.

On the way, you caught your uncle and mother’s conversation about how the suburb they’re living in is one of the best in Hyogo, boasting a view of the Sakuras which the youngins (you included) will definitely enjoy in time for spring, and was close to the station and the few minutes’ drive away from his work, where she’ll be joining soon.

You stand in front of your new home, examining the streets, noting the abundance of trees – sakuras, especially, like your uncle said. Leaning to your side, lifting your one leg away, you found a park just five blocks away, your brother would surely love that.

Planting your feet back, you gaze back into your house. Taking a deep breath, as though to have a feel of the area, a voice suddenly called out.

"Hey, who're you?"

Blinking, you turned. 

"Oi, don't be rude, Atsumu." another voice says next to him.

You blink again.

Twins.

Twin boys.

They looked to be about your age, standing a few feet away from your home, peering curiously at your uncle's truck, the boxes, and you.

"But hey, who're you?" one of them asks.

"Are you new here?" says the other.

Their accents were rather thick even for their age, rising with every syllable and somewhat airy compared to the standard Tohoku dialect you were used to.

"Yes." You reply simply.

Before another word was said, your uncle appears from behind you, a gentle hand on your head. "Well, if it isn't my favorite Miya boys - Atsumu and Osamu!"

"Uncle!" the twins says in unison, rather energetically.

Laughing, he wrapped an arm around you as he stood next to you. “What’re you boys up to, eh? Trouble?”

“No way!” says one, pitch rising. His twin beside him murmurs, “Maybe.”

“Oi, Osamu, way to keep a secret.”

Amused by the twins, you let out a chortle then a smile. It lasted for a quick second, but the two caught on it.

"Aha, so you can smile!" one of the twins pointed at you, his stubby finger just inches from your face.

"Atsumu, don't point!" his twin slaps his finger away. "s'rude, and ya might poke her eyes out!"

Beside you, your uncle chuckles at the two, seemingly used to their antics.

You just stare at the twins - at their identical features down to the littlest details. And then it came to you.

"You're Atsumu," you looked at the boy to your left, who jumped at your voice. "And you're Osamu." you say to the boy to your right, who blinks twice at you. "Right?"

The twins blinked at you, eyes wide like saucers, then looked at each other in silence, then to you. It was almost comical how the twins reacted to something like this, and just how in sync they were.

Beside you, your uncle throws his head back and lets out a guffaw. "That's my (Y/N)! Such a smart cookie!"

Feeling his large hand ruffle your head, you ducked your tiny head and smiled a little, feeling warm and proud all at once.

"How did you know!?" Atsumu yelled, demanded, stepping in front of you.

"Atsumu," Osamu said in warning, pulling him back harshly. "sorry 'bout this one."

You smile at Osamu in understanding, already liking his calm demeanor as opposed to his twins.

You shook your head at the two, leaning against your uncle as you continued to stare the twins down. Man, they sure were full of energy and perfectly balance each other out. Without even knowing, the corners of your lips quirk into a smile.

now...

A blur of blue, yellow, and red slowly lands on the ground, just inches away from the line, as players desperately try to save it. But it was for not. The ball lands with a smack.

The referee raises a flag, an in.

The whistle blows.

And then the stadium bursts with joy.

Inarizaki has won the first set.

“Hey, manager-?!”

“Service ace is in favor of Atsumu.” Just as he threw his fist in the air to celebrate, you added. “More than half were fails, by the way." At that, the teen flinches. "You got way too excited for the rest.” The team snickers, Osamu gloating in the background.

“The fact that she actually kept score is amazing.” Ginjima said in awe.

“Nothing escapes her, what a reliable manager!” Kosaku praises with a smile.

"There's nothing noteworthy about that," Kita adds, arms folded over his chest, the two players quickly silenced and felt a shiver run down their spine. "but if it helps boost morale and keep the peace, then it's fine."

“Kita-san and Manager are always in sync, that's just creepy,” Suna thought aloud as he took a sip.

Someone’s hand lands on your head as you check your notes one last time, it was the captain’s. “Well, when you have a reliable manager, all is well!”

Thinning a smile, you nod at everyone. “Come on now, we should head to the other court.”

Although he was not a regular player, Kita was there beside you to act as an assistant manager. He’d also be there to give tips and give the team a much needed scolding that their lax captain couldn’t give. It was both coaches and the vice-captain’s idea. It also helped that you were there, too. Ever the hard-working, illustrious and known for the moniker – ‘Inarizaki’s Fox Keeper’.

Just as you turn, you felt arms wrapped around your shoulder. “Let’s win this shit!”

“’Tsumu, get off (Y/N), you’re tainting her with your stupidity,” says Osamu, appearing beside you.

“Ha!? Shut up, ya scrub!”

“Why don’t you say that to my face!”

“I am in your face, you asshole!”

The twins’ yelling sounded off, their noise adding to the excitement of the tournament. Practically all eyes were on you, because of the twins.

Used to this, you decide to speak your mind. “Guys, I am in between this childish tomfoolery.”  To which the twins flinch at, comically look at you in unison.

“Oi, that’s foul play, (Y/N)-chan.” Atsumu says, pulling you close.

“Yeah, you know we’re both too stupid to understand complex words.” Osamu seconds, pinching at strands of your hair.

“Yeah- HUH!? WHO’RE YA CALLIN’ STUPID?”

Reaching the other side of the court, you were stuck between the twins as they fought for the nth time as the rest of the team watches.

And then there was you, a faint smile on your lips.

You wouldn’t have it any other way.

Wriggling out of your uncle’s arms, you announced that you were heading inside, barely sparing the twins another look.

Suddenly, out came your sister from the car, rubbing at her eyes as she walks towards you. "(Y/N)!!!!! Why didn't you tell me we were here already?"

“You looked like you needed the extra sleep,” you told her, taking your still sleeping brother from her arms. “Seriously, he sleeps like a log.” You comment on your baby brother, tucking his head on your shoulder.

Looking behind you, your sister asks, “Who’s uncle talking to?”

“The neighbors.”

She perks at that, ever the social butterfly that she was. “Oh! Let’s go say ‘hi’ then!”

“You do that, I’ll get inside, get Kaoru into a bed or something, then help mom out.”

Pouting, your big sister grabs the back of your shirt. “Geh, come on!!!! You’re no fun, (Y/N)!”

“Oya, Mika-chan, you’re awake! Come, come, say hi!”

Smiling at your uncle’s words, your big sister practically skips to his side, grinning toothily as she introduces herself. “Hi! I’m (L/N) Mika!”

“Nice ‘ta meetcha!” Atsumu grins back, swiping the underside of his nose. “The name’s Atsumu.”

“Osamu,” his twin says with a small smile.

As one, the twins look behind your sister, meeting your gaze, almost expectantly. Not long after, so does your big sister.

With a sigh, you hoist your little brother in your arms, walking towards them. “(Y/N),” you mutter. Your big sister bumps her hips to yours, you cry in pain softly. “Hi, I’m (Y/N).” She bumps again, with a slight frown on her face, you paid no mind. “And this sleeping lump is Kaoru.”

“Ain’t this adorable, the youngins catching up!” your uncle exclaims, happily.

Mika grins widely at the two boys, who grin back at the you all in turn.

From that moment on, you knew these twins would be a part of your lives, yours, especially, for better or for worst.

masterlist • two

[luna-the-shark4254]

Back with more incorrect quotes

Kiki, handing out popsicles: Which flavor do you want? 035: Blue flavor! Kiki: Uh, you mean Blue Raspberry? 035: Blue flavor! Blue flavor! Kiki: Blue is not a flavor! 035: BLUE FLAVOR!

Shapeshifter: *transforms to look like Kiki* Kiki: Okay, are you like BLIND? You look nothing like me. First off, I'm way taller. Secondly, I DO NOT look so sleep deprived and lastly, if you could drag comb through that hair you're like a 7 on a good day and I've been told I'm a constant 10.

035: *walks to cabinet, removes oreo box, takes half a sleeve, throws empty box out* Hi! Catgurl: Hey- what are you doing-? 035, shoving an oreo into their mouth: I am saving space :D

Kiki, looking at their reflection: Now, that's rubbish. Who's that supposed to be? 049: Well, that's you. Kiki: Me?! Is that what I look like? 049: You don't know? Kiki: Busy day.

079: Please enter a password. Kiki: *types in Catgurl* 079: Your password is too weak. Kiki: How fucking DARE YOU-

Kiki: Where is 035? Andy: I'll do you one better, who is 035?? Catgurl: Here's a better question, why is 035?

Catgurl: Clownery. Tomfoolery. Absolute fuckery, I am going to revoke your life privileges.

Catgurl: I’m gonna die alone. 035: Catgurl, you’re not gonna die alone. Catgurl: Kiki, was my safety net, okay? She got married and now I have to get a snake. 049: Uh-huh. Why is that? Catgurl: If I’m gonna be an old lonely person, I’m gonna need a thing, you know? A hook. Like that guy in the subway who eats his own face. Catgurl: So I figured I’ll be “Crazy Girl With A Snake”, you know? Crazy snake girl. Catgurl: Then I’ll get more snakes, call them my babies. Kids won’t walk past my place, they will run! RUN AWAY FROM CRAZY SNAKE GIRL!

Kiki: FIGHT ME, YOU NERD ASS SLUT! 035: At least try to sound slightly more sophisticated when you threaten someone. Kiki: Oh, I'm sorry. I should ask; dost thou want to engage in a duel, my good bitch? 035: Somehow that's worse.

035: Kiki... you've been cuddling with me for over and hour now. Kiki: *muffled* mm hmmm :) 035: Fuck. I should be annoyed but you're adorable.

Catgurl: I will send my army to attack! Catgurl: *releases a dumpster of raccoons*

Teacher: Your child was in a fight. Kiki: Oh no, that’s terrible! Andy: Did they win?

035, hungover: Please tell me I'm imagining that I claimed I was king of the ducks. Catgurl: I would, but then I would be lying to the King of All Ducks.

Kiki: I woke up and chose VIOLENCE. I WILL COMMIT ARSON AND BURN EVERYTHING TO THE GROUND!!! I AM ANGRY- 035: Awwww, you’re so adorable! Give me a hug~ Kiki: Wh-What? nO, yOURE SUPPOSED TO BE SCARED OF ME! TREMBLE BEFORE MY WRATH- 049, recording: This is so cute.

035, in a horrible German accent: Bill Nye is on break, I'm Bill Nein. Andy: Can I go to the bathroom? 035, in the same horrible German accent: Nein!

Kiki: Valentine’s day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos- 035: I wrote you a poem. Kiki, already crying:You did?

Catgurl: 035, can I speak to you for a minute? In private. 035: Ooh, someone's in trouble. It's me. I don't know why I did that.

*Andy recording whilst 035 and Catgurl are arguing* 035: HOLD UP, HOLD UP, HOLD UP, HOLD UP!! HER SISTER WAS A WITCH, RIGHT? AND WHAT WAS HER SISTER? A PRINCESS! THE WICKED WITCH OF THE EAST, BRO! Andy: *wheezes like a tea kettle* Catgurl, pulling out a knife: I'm gonna stab them. 035: YOU'RE GONNA LOOK AT ME AND YOU'RE GONNA TELL ME THAT I'M WRONG? AM I WRONG? Catgurl: It's my favorite movi- 035: SHE WORE A CROWN AND SHE CAME DOWN IN A BUBBLE, CATGURL! Catgurl: I'm not fighting with you, I'm not fighting with y- 035: GROW UP, BRO. GROW UP!

Catgurl: If the thought of something makes any of you giggle for longer than 15 seconds, you are to assume you’re not allowed to do it.

Kiki, talking to 035: Well 035, whenever I’m about to do something, I think ‘would Catgurl do that?’ and if they would, I do not do that thing. 035: … Catgurl, from the distance: They’re not wrong though!

049, throwing a pokeball at Kiki: Kiki, I choose you! Kiki, not looking up from their book and catching it: You need an Ultra ball to catch this Legendary Pokémon.

Kiki: Two years ago, I married my best friend. Kiki: 049 is still mad about it, but me and 035 were drunk and thought it was funny.

Andy: What has the galaxy ever done for you?! Why would you wanna save it?! Kiki: Cause I’m one of the idiots who lives in it!

Catgurl: Ah, Hello again. We really need to stop meeting like this. 035: Maybe we would, if you would sTOP BREAKING INTO MY FUCKING HOUSE!!!

[loving-jack-kelly]

can you tell us about your oc francis

Hehe yes I can !!

Francis is spy/superhero (kinda) whose whole deal is that hey, this has to be a 9-5 job for me because I have three pretty young kids to take care of

He was a spy kid when he was younger and he wore a striped shirt, red converse, and jeans while fighting with light up yoyos and chewing bubblegum people loved him enough to forget that he was a literal child being put in life threatening situations

His wife was one of his gallery of villains who ended up as a "bad guy" on accident and longed to leave the tomfoolery and jellyfish branding behind. She always wanted to be butterfly themed which is why all three of Emmy and Francis's kids have (somewhat subtle) butterfly themed middle names (Hugo Blue, Jamie Atala, and Cleo Rose)

Before Emmy died, Francis was more of a classic going out on adventures gone for days if not weeks at a time type guy but essentially after he went back to work after her death he was like look. You guys are fun and all but I need to stick around town and preferably away from the hard-core assignments. Give me the silly goofy distractions and I'll keep the public happy with flashy fights and low personal stakes and make it home in time to make dinner.

[masterjedilenawrites]

Mandalorians: As Friends

Just felt like writing for some of the Mandalorian characters...

Din Djarin

Mom of the friend group. Momma Mando.

Would drive a mini-van if they existed (they're practical okay)

Somehow always knows everyone's allergies and food preferences

Makes sure everyone plays by the rules

But will break the speed limit to get you home in time for curfew

Checks in if he hasn't heard from you in a while. And no matter how often you may turn things down, he'll still extend an invitation the next time.

Gives the best hugs.

Has a lot of responsibilities so may not always be able to help right away. But he'll try.

Need a ride? Extra cash? Cookies for the bake sale? Help moving a body a couch? He gotchu.

Tired. Always. All the time.

You don't actually know a lot about him. He sometimes shares little stories or makes comments that suggest he lived a very different kind of life once. But no matter how hard you press for details, you'll never truly understand what all he's been through.

Generally pretty calm and caring but will go ape-shit if his friends are being threatened

Bo-Katan Kryze

Hot-and-cold kind of friend.

You know the type.

For one whole weekend wants to do everything with you.

Movies, mini-golf, pub crawls, road trips, video game tournaments, you name it. Let's do it all.

Will even have deep, meaningful conversations about life and her innermost hopes and fears.

But then...

She's MIA.

Doesn't answer your texts or calls.

Weeks will go by with no word.

If you do run into her in public, she'll act distant. Will make vague excuses.

But then...

Out of the blue...

She'll hit you up again.

Did you know this town has a drive-in movie theater?! We're so going tonight!

And she'll show up with all your favorite snacks, and she'll ask about That Thing in your life and listen to you vent about it, and she'll reimburse you for gas, and she'll share another little secret with you that she's never told anyone before, and you'll laugh and cry together...

Rinse and repeat.

You might be annoyed at first, but somehow find yourself forgiving her and just enjoying what time you do get with her.

Boba Fett

A very chill friend.

Doesn't initiate much but is always down for whatever you suggest.

Prefers more one-on-one stuff but will tolerate groups/parties if he has nothing better to do.

More of a listener than a talker, but if he really trusts you he will occasionally open up about what he's really thinking/feeling

He's quick to pick up on your body language and adjusts his behavior accordingly

You can give him a look from across the room and he'll know exactly what you mean

Sometimes you have whole conversations just by looking at each other

Lots of inside jokes

Lots of low energy activities

Very comfortable just sitting in the same room without talking or doing anything

It's the little things for him

Doesn't like to commit to things too far into the future, but also doesn't like spur-of-the-moment plans. Give him like a day or two advance notice. Nothing more, nothing less.

Is 110% the friend you call to bail you out of jail

He won't judge

Paz Vizsla

A solid, albeit unamused friend

Sighing. Frowning. Eye rolling. Grumbling. 

Looking into cameras that aren't there whenever someone does something ridiculous

I'm surrounded by idiots...

But it's all a front.

He likes being surrounded by idiots. Because they're his idiots.

Secretly scared of being alone

So he'll put up with the antics and tomfoolery, even if he doesn't quite get it

Whatever makes his friends happy makes him happy

He just won't admit it

A total softie deep down, and there isn't anything he wouldn't do for a friend in need

Might complain about it, but he'll do it

Is the best at just being there. To comfort you if you're feeling down, take care of you if you're sick, or be a punching bag if you need to blow off some steam

Is also the best if you need a quick reality check. Won't coddle, he'll tell you what you need to hear and help you move on

Get past the rough exterior, and you got yourself a reliable, honest, and caring friend

[zankivich]

An Unexpected Romance: Chris Evans x Black! Female Reader Part 1

a/n: *sticks head out* omg hi. It’s been a while. A long while. Somehow I am back writing for another white man, a different one this time. We can only hope he does not disappoint as drastically as the last one does. I genuinely have no idea if this is good? I think it’s kinda cute, and I’ve been feeling very traumatized in regards to blackness lately so I really needed some black and brown women having a good time and being happy. We deserve that tbh. There could obvi be another part to this. Let me know if anyone even cares enough for that lol. Okay bye now. 

Part 2 Part 3

There’s an unspoken rule amongst you and your friends. Like a secret code, if you will. If a man hits on you at the bar and you’re not interested, and friends always know when you’re not interested, swarm and diffuse the situation. But? If a man hits on you at the bar and you are interested? Then that is a different story entirely.

It was a Thursday night out with the girls. You were at your favorite bar. It was quiet and quaint but still modern enough to attract a younger crowd. Sometimes there’s nothing better than getting dressed up and sipping on drinks with your girls. No dancing or club hopping or excessive uber rides. Just one bar, shit talk, and a lot of bacardi.

You were all sat directly at the bar in high standing chairs, Your back was turned to the entrance as you listened intently to your friend Tanya complain about her latest Hinge hook up.

“Can you believe I took my fine ass self all the way over to that nigga’s house in satin shorts? Satin! And he had a pizza box on his bedside table and the second he laid me down my back hit a bong. Make it make sense Jesus.”

Tanya was a beautiful Black woman. She was taller than all of you at six feet, and she strutted every step. Her skin was deep espresso and she was almost always rocking a vibrant colored wig that matched a vibrant colored outfit. Tonight’s color was lavender.

“I don’t know how many times we have to tell ya ass to stay away from them white boys.” You snorted, sticking your tongue out in search of your straw.

Your friends, Tanya, Raya, and Jesse all did a collective eye roll in your direction that did not go unnoticed.

“Yes ladies?” You asked with a straightened spine and arched brow.

Jesse was one of them girls you would have hated in high school. Skinny waist, slim thick thighs, and skin so clear that her Puertio Rican skin was only left to dazzle and shine. She had long, tight curls that hung all the way down to her belly button, and she always kept them gelled down and tied back. She, like all of your friends, did not hold back when it came to the group. You were honest, thick as thieves, and frankly a little brutal.

“You don’t even count. Your refusal to go near a white man is excessive and weird.” She cackled. “You're just as bad as Tanya, just on the other end of the spectrum sis.”

“Excuse me? Now Tanya dates boys...I date men. You see the difference? And if I am gone lie in some ivory sheets there’s gonna have to be some extra special attention being paid to me. And trust, there always is.”

You stuck your tongue out lewdly and laughed sending the whole table into a fit of giggles. You all clinked your glasses together and revelled in the atmosphere of melanin, acceptance, and tomfoolery. What a group.

“You tellin’ me that if a fine ass man walked in here right now and checked every box: his own money, his own car, intelligent, funny, etcetera,  and he just happened to be of the vanilla variety you wouldn’t bite?” Raya asked.

Raya was the thickest of the group, voluptuous in every sense of the word and also the only one happily married. She just put up with y’all honestly.

You rolled your eyes through with the conversation already.

“I’m saying...he’d have to be pretty fucking special and pretty fucking dedicated. Men are a headache as it is. I don’t need the added layer of some man pulling at my weave like I’m Lilly Ane from his hometown,  or asking me to do race play in the bedroom. Now I’m going to the bathroom and when I come back I’d like for us to talk about literally anything else? Okay? Okay.”

You slid out of your seat and headed for the bathroom with the grace and power of a woman in her thirties who had managed the insecurities of her younger self and had decided to only live her life revelling in her own excellence.

If Tayna was the darkest of the group you weren't at all far behind. If she was expresso, you were simply an americano with a dash of cream. And you rocked it with a full head of curls that ranged from nappy to bursting with life and moisture depending on both the day and temperature. It was all set upon the shoulders of a woman with curves and hips and chest. It was your body and you loved it endlessly, a matter quite evident in the way you walked.

That night you were wearing a coral pink jumpsuit with a long, flowy kimono and heels to match. Your kimono billowed behind you and made you feel fierce, even on the walk to the bathroom, which is perhaps why you weren’t paying that much attention. One second you’re strutting in the heels that you only wore when there wouldn’t be too much standing, and the next you’re slipping on some liquid that must have been spilt on the floor. Your whole life flashed before your eyes. The wind flew out of your lungs. This was the end…

And then you were caught by the waist. Not caught, more like gripped. Firmly. And perhaps not the waist so much as the hips. You expected to be lying straight on the floor staring up at the ceiling, and instead you were staring at a chest. A firm chest. No not firm. Chiseled might be a better description. So chiseled that your hands began to wander amongst the suit clad flesh before your mind had caught up with you. Heafer.

“Oh my god. Thank you so much. I’m so sorry I can’t believe I--”

You peered up into deep blue eyes and let’s not forget that your fingers were still wandering along that chest. Had a chest ever been so broad? No. Not unless you count Captain America apparently.

“Please, I always like to pull a rescue mission before dinner. Makes me feel like I earned my meal.” He grinned down at you.

Chris Evans. What are even the statistical chances? You wouldn’t know, you were too busy drooling.

His hands were still on your hips. Yours still on his chest. And now you were just plain staring at him. Good look.

A waiter with a towel to clean up the mess broke up the moment by clearing their throat and alerting the two of you that you were way too close to one another still.

“Oh--Oh.” You mumbled idiotically. “You’re…”

He nodded. “Chris. And you are?”

“I’m...I’m…”

The waiter snickered under their breath and you realized just how much you were ruining this moment. You straightened your spine and tried to act like you had some sort of sense.

“I’m y/n. Thank you again for the save. I was actually just on my way to the bathroom so I’ll uh let you get back to your night and try not to fall on you again.” You smiled.

“Yea, we definitely wouldn’t want that would we?” He asked.

But the way his face was looking told you maybe he might not mind it after all. Sheesh.

“Okay well uh you have a nice night, Chris.”

You tapped at his hands on your hips and he quickly stumbled back with an apology. It was the first time he looked even the slightest bit flustered in your interaction with him. You found that you liked it.

“You have a nice night too, y/n.”

You smiled at him one final time before walking to the bathroom as you had intended. But he didn't leave your mind the entire time you were there. And not just because it was Chris Evans, it didn’t feel fair to call it star struck. That was too simple, too miniscule.  Instead it was the way his hands had felt on your hips. You had the tendency to lean away from men, didn’t feel comfortable with them when you didn't know who they were. And yet there you had stood, completely at ease in his hold. You couldn’t explain it even to yourself. He had just felt right.

“Of course he felt right, he’s practically a figment of your imagination.” You mumbled to yourself at the sinks.

That was it. He didn’t even count. The only time you ever saw him was on your netflix account, so surely your perception was warped. The reality was that Chris Evans was just another white man who looked good in a sweater. The end.

That’s what you convinced yourself as you walked back to your friend, but not without taking extra precautions against the floor. By the time you arrived back at your table you had done the mental gymnastics needed to completely eliminate him from your system. Good girl.

“Now, I trust you all found something better to talk about while I was away.” You grinned as you slid back into the table.

All of your friends were snickering behind their hands and they wasted no time at all laughing at you.

“Oh did we!” Jesse laughed. “You see we had just moved on to a new topic when a little someone got a drink delivered to the table.”

Your eyes widened as Jesse pushed a glass of what looked like processo closer your way. She then pointed over by the bar leading the entire table to turn that way. Seated by his seat with his arms leaning against the bar, shoulders even broader against the wood, was none other than Chris Evans himself. As if on a Hollywood cue he turned to look at you with a smile that was both innocent and filthy at the same time. He lifted a drink of his own in the air and tilted it in your direction in silent cheers. If you had been ten shades lighter you’da blushed like a schoolgirl. It was ridiculous.

“Now...What was that you were saying about white boys sis?” Tanya asked.

You groaned to yourself softly and plopped your head down in your hands in embarrassment. This was only to notice that your sparkling glass of prosecco was perched upon a napkin with his phone number written upon it. Home boy was slick and he was bold. A man confident enough to come put himself out there, and respectful enough to do it in a way that wasn’t disruptive or rude to your friends nor yourself. It was the sort of thing that made you take notice for sure, which explained why your girlfriends were looking at you like cats that had just discovered the canary.

“What? What?! What?” You gasped at the table, clearly annoyed.

Jesse grinned. “What’chu mean ‘what’, mija! You gone get your mans or what?”

They all giggled and looked clearly in his direction, only embarrassing you further.

“Stop it!” You hissed. “He is not ‘my mans’ by any stretch of the imagination. He probably just feels bad for me slipping. I fell and he caught me. Clearly he’s a gentleman, which is nice but that don’t mean nothin.”

“Girl please! This man done sent you prosecco and a phone number. That’s like a rich modern version of a love letter. You better go talk to that man.” Raya snorted.

Women who hype up other women are the world’s greatest treasure. You loved your friends with everything in you, and you valued all of their intellects greatly. However, this was not a regular-degular man. This was literally a superhero. You had confidence for days, but this was simply a different stratosphere. You were just about to silence your friends again when a ghost must have descended because everyone else began to gasp.

“Girl he movin’. Captain America is comin in for the landing.” Raya stage-whispered.

“Oooo you know what? Suddenly I have to pee.” Tanya mumbled.

“Oh me too!” Jesse nodded.

And just like that….your table was empty. The audacity!

“Wow. I sure can clear a room huh?” He chuckled, stepping up beside you. “I hope I don’t offend too much.”

You sighed turning to face him head on.

“You certainly do not offend. In fact, I think my friends are around some corner cackling like the witches they are. They just wanted to give you space to shoot your shot.”

He smiled with a raised eyebrow. “My shot, huh? I better not fuck it up them.”

You shrugged, eyes raking gently over him. Beyond the obvious attraction, it was important for you to search for any warning signs. His body language was good. He had one hand draped over the back of your chair, but he stood two steps back from the table so that he wasn’t over-crowding your space. He seemed to be aware of himself physically, an important marker in your estimation. He was playful enough, but also clearly interested if he’d decided to come up to the table after all that. This did not bode well for you at all. The man was kinda nice.

“I just wanted to see if you were enjoying your drink is all.”

Your fingers flitted with the glass before pulling it to your lips for a sip. The way his eyes seemed to follow the motion had a heat pooling in your gut.

“I do enjoy a good prosecco.” You nodded. “Thank you.”

“It’s my pleasure. I didn’t want to be too forward but uh--I think you’re stunning and  I was wondering if I could take you out sometime.” He murmured.

Your legs were crossed in your seat, and you bobbed your leg a little, anxiety coursing through you.

“Were you afraid the number on the napkin was too subtle?”

He chuckled softly, eyes falling to the ground in an almost...embarrassed fashion? Lord, please.

“Sorry, I tend to second guess myself. I never know how people are gonna take me with my line of work. I didn’t want you to think I was trying to set up a one night stand or something. Wanted to show you I’m genuinely interested.”

Well that was unnervingly wholesome. Where they get this man from?

You let a small grin form across your mouth, a metaphorical step forward closer to his very inviting energy.

“Well, I do like the sound of stunning.”

“Yea? I think I could say some other stuff you’d like too if you give me a chance. What do you say?”

He licked the edge of his lip and it really was so miniscule but it had your thighs tightening in a way that was unholy. Rude.

You couldn’t say yes just off principle. Ten minutes ago you had just shamed all your friends for their white proclivities and the first one that walks off the street and bats his eyelashes at you causes you to cave? The hypocrisy! But...he was fine. Like capital “F” fine. Fwine with a “w”, fine. And it’s not like he was going to take you home to pizza boxes and lost bongs and then hit you up for gas money later. He was more set in his life than you were. Him being rich wasn’t even for you to utilize; it just felt good to know that he was accomplished and secure for himself. Again you dated men...not boys. And yet still you found yourself in such a conundrum.

“You look hesitant.” He noted, eyes locking onto yours.

You nodded. “I am...Excuse my bluntness but I had just gotten done explaining to my friends that dating white men often comes with more hassle than good. It can be difficult to connect cross-culturally. And quite frankly y’all are usually racist and/or fetishists. I’m not looking to upset your mama, nor am I looking to play slave master in the bedroom.”

Honestly the little speech was usually enough to send weaker men running. You say the r-word to a white man when you’re a black woman and he either calls you the n-word or gets upset and walks away. That had been your experience thus far. Not always, but enough to set precedence. The fact that he bothered to stay at the table further already separates himself from the pack.

“I can understand where you’re coming from.” He nodded, and a crease formed subtly between his eyebrows. “Not that I could ever really understand, just that I understand your hesitancy towards me. And I understand that it’s more complicated for you than it is for me. I really wish it wasn’t that way, but obviously that isn’t exactly something you and I can fix together in this very moment.”

You steadied for yourself for his next words, sure that he was about to leave you with, “have a nice life, I’ve got a spandex fitting in the morning.” There was a feeling in your tummy that felt out of place. You noted absently that it was a flutter of disappointment. And then he kept speaking.

“I don’t want to change your opinions on all white guys. I’d be willing to wager that most of us suck, and you probably should definitely steer clear.”

This caused you to snicker a little bit, a smile coming back to your face. He practically beamed in response, teeth coming together in a megawatt smile.

“However, I’d truly hate to never see that smile again.” He groaned and layed a firm hand against his own chest. “I don’t wanna change your mind about all of us...but maybe I can change your mind about me. I don’t want to feshitize you, I don’t want some weird power play between us. I don’t wanna do anything that would hurt you or make you uncomfortable. I just wanna take a really beautiful woman out if I could, if you’ll have me? Please? And if not, I take no as my answer and I walk away a little wounded, and you’ll still be here, stunning as always.”

Ooof. Boy was good. Real good.

You twisted your lips together and eyed him another time as if you were seeing each other for the very first time. Seemingly good guy. Persistent, not demanding. Willing to have conversations about race? Biceps the size of your head. Damn it was like the devil had crafted him especially for you.

“You know I think my friends have been spying long enough. I should probably meet up with them.” You mumbled.

You reached for the check in front of you adding your tip to your total and squaring out your tab. The way his eyes raked over you did not go unnoticed, unfelt. With the check closed and on the table you reached for one of the cocktail napkins on the table, pen still in hand, and wrote a note of your own. Sliding from your seat, you reached for the prosecco and downed the fizzy beverage before pressing the napkin to his chest with your nail. There was confusion, and perhaps a bit of hurt, in his baby blue eyes. This was gonna be some real trouble for you.

His palm came to rest over yours, trapping your fingers against his chest. There was a warmth there that seemed to leave your fingertips tingling. Definitely trouble.

“You have a nice night Chris.” You grinned.

His hand fell away from yours at the slightest movement on your part. He stood there, seemingly shell shocked, as you reached for your purse and his cocktail napkin. You almost thought he was going to let you get away as you went to step around him, only for his palm to grab gently at your hip.

“Good night y/n.” He whispered and reached to kiss chastly at your cheek.

The warmth of him was more intoxicating up close. He radiated heat like he radiated pheromones. And the smell of him was absolutely ridiculous as well. Was that gucci? Dior maybe?

It was a miracle you made it around the corner.

As to be expected, your awful ass group of friends were all standing by the hostess booth peaking around at you like a couple of dumbasses. They were lucky you loved em. You had an exit to execute though, and for that at least, they were useful.

You resumed your power walk, matched with clicking heels and a teasing pop of your hips, towards them.

“Is he watching?” You asked quietly.

They all nodded in various levels of incredulousness.

“Good. Let’s go.”

And then you walked your ass out that bar only to collapse the first second you cleared the doors. Your girls descended the way only women do, like fucking superheros of their own, and helped you float back to the car.

“Girl if you don’t start spilling A-S-A-P I swear fo’ God!” Raya gasped hands shaking on the steering wheel.

“What happened what happened what happened?!” Jesse screeched.

Your head nestled against the headrest of the car, your breathing having gone unsteady by the little game you’d just played.

“I think I just told him he can take my black ass on a date.” You mumbled in shock.

The tension in the car hit an all time high as everyone went silent...And then they all bursted out laughing as if you’d mentioned the funniest joke in the damn world.

“I KNEW IT BITCH!” Tayna screamed. “OOOOOOO BITCH I KNEW IT!”

“She finna be down with the swirl tonight, y’all!” Raya cackled.  

“In the category of white boys y/n will fuck with, this one has a networth of millions and the highest grossing movie of all time.” Jesse spoke in her best game host voice.

“I’ll take Captain America for six hundred, Alex!” Tayna snickered.

And they all continued to laugh.

“I gotta get some new friends.”

TBC?