#Binding of Beau

[yashley]

"Beauregard, yes. We are quite familiar."

[dirtyassvoiceactors]

Omg the brjeus start so early i forgot c2e2:

Beau *in masc drag per say*: “Wait Fjord how do you sound? Say word, you’re manly”

Fjord: “Manly words”

Beau *with a deeper voice and yehaw accent copying Fjord*: “Manly words”

Fjord: “Mirror image”

Beau!yehawfjord: “Mirror image”

Fjord: “i got nuts”

Beau!yehawfjord *slowly smiling*: “I got nuts”

[gothamghostwhispers]

To anyone getting any funny ideas about hurting the kids while Beau is small

I am on edge so I promise you, there will be no mercy to be found within me if you try to take advantage of this situation and I will in fact rip your medulla oblongata out through your ears for even attempting to do so

[edenspoem]

neck kissing with ellie.

gif creds: elenaxnate/tumblr. short indulgent fic :P romance/fluff.

Like a bee to nectar. Kids to sugar. Sunflowers to sunlight. Your neck is a preserved pollen: captivating, entrancing—it entrances that reddish-haired beau prancing around your kitchen searching for warmth. Branches to perch. Nooks to kiss.

Dying suns encapsulate the hours she feeds; in the evenings, devotion. At your neck, a prayer.

"Wish you'd lay the work off after dinner. Told you I'd get it," she kisses you there, too sweetly.

Cheeky prayers, muffled in your ear, and more so mundane covets. To save you trouble, is her duty. To prove her fondness, is her life's dream. And you never found your place amongst her forests to learn and understand why fleeting dreams of you are what motivated her all those years ago. First at your service, then your door, then your hands, lastly your neck.

For all you know, minds assume reason, and instinct falls short of it. Now, in the resign of autumn, reason dies, and tendency prevails. Tender tendencies.

"Why not together then?" you suggest every once in a while, and your tone curls as you do, "Dishes would get done much faster with four hands."

You fail to see it, but her eyes smile. "Because you distract me," laughingly, she says.

She isn't lying; your presence abstracts her thoughts, and the threads of what she was going to accomplish tangle and fray. Be it reading, painting, or guitar— a cacophony of silvers, oaks and water will languish her focus, and suddenly phantom imagery of you and whatever it is you're doing fills her every nerve. Contemplation departs.

But she loves to distract you more.

And because her laughs are stuffed in the crevice binding neck and shoulder, you giggle too. Not because her words are ticklish, or laughable—other days, her silly dad puns are— but because all you can feel is her mouth and her teeth and her chest to your back and everywhere her hands wander and fuck is it overwhelming. Almost facetious that she is doing it intentionally. An elaborate ruse to convince you time is worth wasting.

Her intentions lie between the fangs. Amusedly love-biting.

It fosters a slight shiver, a love-cringe. "Ellie," you weakly release, and roll your shoulders up as a way to peel her off. "That tickles.."

Don't you dare, babe.

Her nips get noisier. "'Spose to.." she insists in a whisper, laying the boundaries for her lips. They creep up, and up, leaping after your shy-away. "Do you hate this?"

"So much." you quip.

"Then it's working," her breathy giggle is hot against you, and it's contagious. A sound you want to eat and nourish from. "Will this take long?" Doubt already inhabits that antsy tone of hers. "I can't wait to show you what I found on patrol. Like, seriously can't wait."

"Can the kissing wait?"

".."

"Right."

"Shut up," her brows tweak against you, mouthing sass. "Pretend 'm not here," speech dimming, her lips lower into you once more, and find reason again. They pucker, suck, and pepper across plains of damp skin gone cold. Hungrily pulling the taste of your skin through her teeth, and down her throat; soft animalism.

It never stops—she never stops. Not for the moon, not for the sun, not for breath or silence.

"You're weird."

You can feel the evidence forming on your skin already. Phantom marks she embeds so she can admire them later. Revisit and reintroduce her tongue to them in bed.

"I know."

[you-poopin]

All 3 Critical Role campaigns are a celebration of love, of kindness, of friendship.

Vax made a deal to save his sister's life.

Percy gave Vex in his home city a title to prove to her that she was worth way more than she believed.

The Mighty Nein helped a little girl find a loving family.

Beau was ready to give her happiness away for Veth's happiness.

The Mighty Nein restored the memory of a stranger and sent her home to her family.

Bell's Hells chose their name to honor a dead man they had known for a brief time.

Vex and Percy were ready to help revivify Laudna, who they barely knew.

FCG blew himself up to save his friends.

Keyleth gave Bell's Hells titles.

And so, so many more things.

Critical Role is, at its core, a celebration of how acts of kindness bind us together. It's a group of friends who love each other so much, that they love each other deeply in all and any universe.

It's beautiful. I love it.

[utilitycaster]

beau's backstory arc really does take 2 episodes and its not even motivated by beau. its nott why we even go up there. beau, like laudna does not desire to solve anything in her backstory. but unlike laudna she does have current goals (learning to people, learning to monk, impressing her teacher, her spy gig, just learning in general) and future goals (cobalt soul, mage rangling, kid having).

Correct...I'm not sure why you mentioned this? Like, I said as much as well, and that's not a problem because Beau has goals and interests, and she could have still had a meaningful story without visiting her family (though it certainly adds a lot).

With that said however this does feel kind of inadvertently an opportunity to point out the care with which Matt treated character backstory in the Mighty Nein vs. the lack thereof with Bells Hells. Beau said she was taken to the Cobalt Soul and her father paid someone off. She was on the run from her home with no reason to return and plenty of reasons to stay away.

In the Mighty Nein's story, not only is she carefully brought back to her home by a thoughtful interweaving of her and Nott's stories; Matt also looked at her cobalt soul backstory, said "does this match up with the Cobalt Soul as it exists in the world," came to a conclusion of "no, this isn't how the institution generally works," and had Dairon look into it, leading to a very satisfactory conclusion that happened without Beau's involvement but still meant a lot to her! Hell, you could even call it a consequence; Beau complaining about it all the time eventually got through to someone!

For Bells Hells, it was always just "YOUR abilities are ALSO kinda tied to the moon and/or you need THIS macguffin." The shards were nice but like...it felt this was a golden opportunity for Fearne and Ashton to serve as heirs to the titans in a re-binding or proper banishment of Predathos but in the end they were just essentially a variation on Cool Magic Items. Neither of them even did anything significantly Titan-related in the end; the But The Titans refrain meant jack shit. And you know, I felt that Imogen, Laudna, and Ashton's complaints about the gods rang hollow...but what if they hadn't? My argument was always "this doesn't match up with what we know of the gods from all other lore" but I think what is notable is that I wasn't proven right...but I wasn't even proven wrong. What if the gods had addressed this? What if Imogen being a Ruidusborn DID mean she was either beyond the reach of the gods/could not be heard or that they felt it was better she suffered? What if the gods feared what the Hishari had done in terms of resurrecting the titans? What if Ashton were textually unable to spend time in temples, rather than this just being theorized by people desperate to prove the gods were bad?

The problem is that, on some level, improv was barely happening. Matt didn't say Yes And or No Actually, he just sort of barrelled on with his original plans and world without addressing any of the things his players brought up (again, lack of consequences, good or bad) and so we have no real answers, Bells Hells do look like selfish jackasses because in the absence of new information I'm continuing to believe the old, certainly when the characters were so unkind in the end, and everything feels flat, unexplored, and dull as compared to the lively and rewarding and meaningful stories of Vox Machina and the Mighty Nein.

[artsy-hobbitses]

The third edition of printed media for Ties That Bind’s lore and timeline, featuring Jace Zayden (Jazz), Hanley Riordan (HotRod), Seth Wagner (Swerve) and Carina Morales (Chromia) gracing the cover of Rolling Stone! Stories inside feature Laila Badrolhisham (Lightbright) and Beauregard 'Beau' Laorou (Blurr)

Rolling Stone is more streamline in style, so I CAN offer this as a template for those interested.

This is part of a series!

First Edition: TIME Persons of the Year feat. Megatron and OP

Second Edition: GQ feat. Mirage

Third Edition: Rolling Stone feat. Jazz

Fourth Edition: Vanity Fair feat. Blurr

[yanoverload]

hear me out! your OCS with a single father!darling.

who would handle it the best? who would handle it the worst?

OK SO THIS IS YUMMY TO THINK OF

The best would for sure be Beau!

He really wants a family with darling, but it doesn't need to be his! He would adore the child as his own because well, they are now :)

Their other parent is gone. Doesn't matter if they are alive or not, if they're an ok person or awful, your kid will be calling Beau "mama" and their other birth parent by name.

The kiddo's parent may try to say you've alienated them against them, but a lot of people in town care and feel some pity for Beau for being a hybrid, so even if they know the truth, they will back HIM up.

As a parent though, Beau is very sweet! He is patient with kids, because thats how he would've liked to be treated as a kid. He will spoil your child tremendously. Not with money or anything but with the whole "my baby is the best around" mentality.

Def a toxic soccer mom where your kid can do no wrong in his eyes.

And the worse would sadly be Mono.

He is very sweet and kids love him, but he is not a great parental figure. He's immature and forgets stuff sometimes, not only is he clumsy.

Him with a young kid is a nightmare waiting to happen.

Also you would have to look for a witch to make sure the binding between you both extends for your kid, or else he could accidentally burn them.

You could teach Mono about caring for kids sure, but it won't last long term.

You might lose your house privileges if you keep them together unsupervised.

And as a bonus because I was laughing about it, Ramune is a 50/50.

Ramune never interacts with kids like.... At all. He knows they are tiny humans though, and can't help finding them cute. One that looks like darling? Absolutely adorbs!!!!

However, he can be a bit of a pushover to your kid. He can't help it!!! He wants to get along with them!

If your child is more into feminine things like dolls and makeup, then they'll have a grand time. If your kid is more of a sportsy kind, he's fucked. Can't play soccer to save his life.

He may entertain your kid by showing how he can run in high heels though!

Overall Ramune is a "I tried my best parental figure", but your kid probably saw him downing a shot of vodka once, his eyes dead exhausted after playing with them.

[gotham-its-too-early-for-this]

Artem arrives on the scene, scouting out the area near the trackers to start the search while they wait for Beau to arrive

They know that more then likely the trackers were disposed of. After all even the most halfwitted of goons knows to toss the bags if they have gadgets in them and not cash

…maybe they can make the next version of the go bags will have some cash with trackers in…?

Not the time.

Artem focuses on planning the search. If they could get a scent of the kids or even a scent of the bags connected to one of the goons…

There’s a few warehouses by the harbor they can pretty much eliminate right away since they know there’s different goon work going on in them but there’s still a lot of buildings..

[ @gothamghostwhispers @bugboi-of-gotham ]

It was in one of the the nearby apartment buildings where the girls were held.

“Hold still you brat!” Their mother yelled at Sophia as she tried to secure the veil on her head. “The wedding ain’t even for a few days, no need to be so upset!” Jonnas heart broke as he watched her sister struggle, though that was hard to do in a wedding dress.

“I don’t wanna get married to some old bastard!” Sophia screamed, hoping someone nearby heard her. Even though she knew there wasn’t that big of a chance.

“Well that “old bastard” is offering us a heafty fee for you! So shut up or I’ll drug ya again!” The woman shouted.

Jonna sobbed as she tried to break the bindings. She needed to her to her sister. “Stop! Don’t hurt her! Please-“ she was met with a kick at the chest from her father.

“Shut it, you disgusting filth! I’m surprised someone wants to pay that pretty of a penny for ya. I can barely look at you!” The man yelled, pulling what was left of Jonnas hair back and forcing her to look at him. “He ain’t offering us nearly as much as he’s offering for your sister. We’ll be set for like if we just go through with her deal. So don’t think I won’t rid Gotham of scum like you.”

[joffyworld]

Fui Quod Es,

Eris Quod Sum.

It's frighteningly instant,

The jump from reality to some other realm.

One moment I close my eyes;

Hear the faithful's hymns as they condemn me to death.

The next, I open mine own eyes again;

Greeted by some incorporeal realm,

Of which nature I cannot decipher.

I walk seemingly endlessly,

Through the plain plane of white that spans before me.

It engulfs me so thoroughly,

Every step feels purposeless, yet driven onward,

Not by my own initiative,

But by the instincts borne of us all;

To survive no matter the cost.

There's a strange quality to the air,

It flows and sways in ways I cannot quite describe.

There's a cacophony of silence that surrounds:

It confounds my mind and fills my ears,

A painful shriek you feel, not hear.

There is suffering within these arid wastes.

It fills every single step you take.

All it takes is to turn around;

Suddenly greeted by a towering behemoth.

I meandered for what felt like hours,

Most assuredly accompanied by naught but myself,

Only to turn and find:

A shadow in every step,

A demon lurking ever so closely

This creature looks familiar in a way:

Inhumanely humanoid, a giant of no name.

Divining what this thing desires takes no time at all;

But a moment passes by until it calls -

It utters its first words twice over:

"Come closer, come closer,"

"Be not afraid."

"I still have need of you."

It's voice booms so loudly.

Who is this deity who looms?

This deity that lies in chains that bind.

Every word they speak reminds of those,

Who took my head and sought me.

Do I now stand before,

They who commanded my species' doom?

It quickly becomes apparent,

Our predicaments both lie running in tandem.

They, he, is chained just as I was.

It doesn't need to be explained.

There's an unspoken air of desperate confidence in his voice,

The being proposes a choice to which only few would deny:

"I will give you life again."

But every boon has its own burdens.

"All I ask is that you start a cult in my name."

There it is, life as a servant.

A chance to serve a higher purpose faithfully,

To exude a sense of tremendous leadership to the lost.

Like me, the needy, and mundane.

There comes a time in life where one must choose:

To fight or die, to win or lose,

To find the light, to push on through,

To do what must be done for you

To find that hope that time accrues,

The chance to know the highest views

That heal our hearts, and hope renew.

But it's not always so easy to feel.

I stare upon this deity with blood shot eyes

That question what is real.

I gaze upon these two lonesome companions of his

In wonder of how they feel.

I wonder,

"Has a life after death treated them so kindly?"

"Next to this God,

To whom they now kneel?"

Am I a fool for believing in these honeyed words?

For taking heart in this beau ideal?

The forgotten God offers one last refrain,

One last chance to turn away,

"Do we have a deal..?"

[finitepeace]

3 months since I finished Hannibal tv show. Not moving on at all from hannigram.

and here are the fics that i read to soothe the pain and pretend that the mess that is hannigram relationship has been tidied up.

Personal favorites are marked with 🦌 <this is supposed to be a stag but then it turns out to be a goat???>

arranged by time setting.

11 season1 fics, 11 season2 fics , 2 season 3fics, 14 post/before canon fics, 5 fics AU, 2 missing scene fics, 2 collections.

Season 1 divergence

Kissable by FragileTeacup |2,5k words | A Season 1 AU ficlet which explores a simple premise: what would have happened if, after Will had gone to Hannibal's house and confessed to kissing Alana Bloom, he had ended up kissing Hannibal? 

Consenting to Dream by emungere | E, 38k words | A seduction through physical objects. It starts with a scarf loaned to Will on a cold day, but Hannibal, as usual, isn't satisfied with anything small.

🦌 Marriage of Inconvenience by FragileTeacup | 3,5k words E | When Will Graham hears that Hannibal Lecter has been threatened with deportation, he's far more dismayed than he ever thought he would be. But a flippant suggestion from Brian Zeller gives him an idea...

Beau Ideal by Gweezle | E, 21k words | will used to be a model -who might be attracted murder-

🦌 Dancing with the Beast by proser | E, 86k words | In order to catch a mediocre serial killer, Will must pose as Hannibal's date for a series of pretentious social events.

La Maison Rouge by Randstad | 2k words, Hannibal starts to show up at Will's house at the crack of dawn to make him breakfast, killing two birds with one stone: cooking is one of his many passions, and, honestly, Will Graham is climbing up the list.

Hyacinth House by bluesyturtle for Azremodehar | 80k, E,  It all starts with an injury Will sustains while sleepwalking. [Podfic] read by justbreathe

Kindling by gleamingandwholeanddeadly (something_safe) | 10k words, e | When Franklyn's advances of friendship become too much for even Hannibal to politely ignore, he enlists Will's help.

🦌 Separately to a Wood by emungere | 13k words, T, canon-divergence in which hannibal proposed to will on their 2nd day meeting. 

Demolition Lovers by thefangirlingdead | 76k words, E, hannibal got found out early, kidnapped will to run with him and will struggled with the usual ‘i love him but he is a murder’.. 

🦌 Small Repairs by Devereauxs_Disease | E, 20k words, divergence season 1, hannigram keeps finding reason to meet each other 

Season 2 divergence

🦌 The Fox's Wedding by thehoyden | E, 11k, post S2 finale fix-it, hannibal took will to japan

Amourette by Petronia | 3k words, E, divergence on season 2 

I shouldn't feel lonely when you're gone by Angelic_Disaster | 28k words, E, amnesiac Dr. Lecter,

Slip the Veil by ThisBeautifulDrowning   21,844  Post-Mizumono, Will heals, and thinks, and follows his heart. 

🦌 each according to its kind by chaparral_crown | 192k words | Season 2 divergence | instead of taking revenge and planning to expose hannibal, will drop everything and run away 

Where All Ladders Start by emungere | E, 43k, season 2 divergence, hannibal regrets and releases will from prison 

Pattern Break by ThisBeautifulDrowning | e, 72k | No, Will was going to deal with Hannibal Lecter on his own terms. The man deserved to reap what he'd so carefully sowed, didn't he? After his release from the Baltimore State Hospital for the Criminally Insane, Will doesn't return to work for the FBI.

🦌🦌🦌 if you will come all the way down with me by coloredink | 7k words, M, they left together with abigail, but at what cost??? 

Season 3 divergence

🦌 their beaks not yet turned red by chaparral_crown | M, 130K words, magical realism, baby lecter!! post 1st half of season 3, hannibal went to trial but his conjugal tryst with will brought a stork delivered gift | After Hannibal is arrested and the trial dates are set, the stork visits Will Graham. With it, it brings a baby, a legally binding birth certificate, and a hope chest full of gifts for her. Nobody except Will thinks this is weird.

A Postcard and a Knife by Canis_cosmos | E, 37k words, divergence from season 3 when chiyoh threw will out of the train to the past and met young hannibal 

post S3 / before S1

God and Glasses by purefoysgirl | 1,1k, G, domestic life of married hannigram 

Lean On Me by OneWhoSitsWithTurtles | 2k words | Written for the airport-related AU prompt: "I fell asleep on your shoulder and you were too polite to move or wake me up AU" with a Hannigram twist.

We Killed a Dragon Last Night and  Sounders of Three by  inameitlater | time travel/loop/groundhog day

🦌 Hear My Soul Speak by DarkmoonSigel | 130k words. WIP. Last updated early 2022.  | An AU about how Will might of met Hannibal differently since they both knew Alana. A dinner party gone wrong or terribly right. You decide. Not Beta Read.

🦌 When the Devil Smiles Back byGoldenUsagi | 26k words |  A remix of Silence of the Lambs, where Clarice finds herself occupied not only with catching Buffalo Bill, but with unraveling the mystery of what exactly happened to Will Graham. And Hannibal knows more than he’s letting on about both.

🦌🦌🦌Bigger than a Breadbox by KatherineKrawl | 4k words, E | Every day at work, Will's lunchbox is filled with decadent creations, prompting questions from curious coworkers. Hoping to solve the matter, he asks Hannibal for a 'simple' sandwich, but quickly learns Hannibal doesn't quite grasp the meaning of this. Or does his boyfriend have an ulterior motive for his lavish lunches?

TKO by sidnihoudini | 16k words Molly deals with the aftermath.

The Shape of Me Will Always be You by MissDisoriental | 279k words, 1st person POV, | post-fall, hannibal left will so will could return to his old life

A Discreet Madness by emungere | 4,4k words, M, post-fall | 

A Damn Slippery Life by Magical_Destiny | 2k words, T, post-fall, molly reacts

Something Else by HotMolasses | 2,1k, T, hannigram talking about that gutting scene...  

🦌🦌🦌 Say Cheese! by Devereauxs_Disease | 6k, M, murder husband’s vacations keep appearing in freddie lound’s tattle crime 

Cold Beds and Warm Cannibals by Devereauxs_Disease | E, 4,4k, smut and overcoming distrusts

🦌Fruitful by Everett_Harte An AU remix of 'Hannibal'. Where they both meet several years before the show, start dating, and get married. And bang, a lot.

AUs

🦌 the true kingkiller by ORiley42 | 41k words, M, there’s even a very well made podfic for it!, hannibal is a mummy and will accidentally freed him. consequence: will fell in love with him.

Ethics & Aesthetics by FragileTeacup | 106330 words, a Regency A/B/O romance | pride and prejudice au

🦌🦌🦌 Remember (that you are) to die by  13empress | 230k words, WIP last updated  2017 | ABO au, amnesiac will woke up with 13 years past experience including being a parent, a one half of murder husband, and a wrongly incarcerated FBI agent 

Oddbodies by toffeecape | E, 72k words | Will is an off-brand sentinel. Hannibal is a reputable guide. What could go wrong?

🦌🦌🦌 Overcoming by purefoysgirl | 547k words, E, A/B/O victorian AU, MY VERY FIRST HANNIGRAM FIC! brought me here and now i'm stuck

Howling Outside Your Door by nobetterlove | 14k words | Content to spend his days on the surgery floor, Hannibal is tasked to present emergency room policy to a Cognitive Science class. He's somewhat reticent, but a single whiff of air changes everything. The professor, Will Graham, is an enigma. A dark bruise covers his right eye and the ripe burnt-sugary sweetness is tainted by a tang of suppressants. How much can finding his true mate really change Hannibal? And when it comes to darkness, where does acceptance lie? 14k words

missing scenes

My Husband by VictoriaAGrey | G, 3,5k words, hannigram being sweet married couple

Mise en Place by WrathoftheStag for Devereauxs_Disease | G, 1,8k, outsider POV -one of the kitchen staff in hannibal’s dinner party- 

collections i'm checking out

In Which Loverboy Lecter Prostrates Himself at the Altar of Will Graham 

Fresh Meat Friday

Hannigram Extended Universe

Trope: From Sex To Love (Valhalla Enchanted) by TigerPrawn | 14k words | the omega prince Charmont is in need of an alpha to see him through heat until his betrothed arrives from a distant kingdom. The recently freed slave one-eyed mute is just hideous enough to be the perfect temporary alpha to service the prince.

Forgemaster by Llewcie | 11k words | Charmont, the newest Dionysus, loses a bet to his roommate Aphrodite, and is required by her to go on three dates with a god of her choosing. Before he even gets out the door, he scathingly insults the gentle, mute Hephaestus, and then must scramble to make amends.

Blood on Steel by MonstrousRegiment | Ella Enchanted/Valhalla Rising crossover, series of 24k words work

[gothamghostwhispers]

You already have a place with us if you need one

HOLY SHITF??>@?!?!?!?@!

[mariuslepual]

the fact that ikithon could've just. escaped. lived his shitty little life until his shitty little death, probably delayed with some dark magic. the chaos of the solstice would be more than helpful for that and with the access to the soul's vaults he definitely could've found a spare little anti-scrying necklace lying around. but instead he decided to go after the people (pretty well established that caleb exclusively comes as a package deal, and also he started by fucking up beau's place of work) who got his ass in jail the first time, and when he was rotting away they studied the blade and got even better. the level of living rent free in one's head is astronomical. he organised a whole guided tour of that vault for them. now that's just unhinged. he threatened to reveal the treason of the man who's been suspected of treason, and as a result already in hiding, for almost a decade. icky for real lost his last critically thinking brain cell in that cell. what does he do when his greater invisibility gets dispelled? (very creative btw. truly never before seen. wow) he decides to kill civilians instead of, you know, using his OP demon powers to face his nemesis head on. very mature. what does that get him? he gets bitten in the ass by an enlarged t-rex that's being ridden by a halfling tween of undeterminable age. way to destroy your reputation of a cunning evil genius, mate. you'll forever be known as the kaiju that got its ass bitten. and, in fact, the nein didn't even get him this time! he decided to bind himself to a chaos demon and it imprisoned and/or devoured his withered little ass. now that's just textbook consequences of your actions. that's just a cause-and-effect relationship, babe. cringefail loser. the wizard hubris truly knows no bounds.

[oddityartz]

the refsheet for the exorcist i'm playing in a Cain campaign, Beau. it sucks baad to manifest binding as a blasphemy in this seetting but giving yourself a sheep head frame one is pretty uniquely terrible

+her photo id

[gothamghostwhispers]

“Sorry… I’m back now” Artems breathing is still in counted measures but it’s not hiccuping anymore.

They don’t let go of Beau, recognizing that he needs this embrace as much as they do to keep steady in this moment. Especially with how both the Beau and the manor are trembling. They do however turn and look towards their friend.

“Alvi”

The manors kitchen is rather large, Artem is pulling a screaming kettle into a cup filled with dried Artems Rose petals,

Meanwhile the cup across from them is still empty, and several options for tea are pulled out near that cup, including a jar labeled artems rose.

“Hey Alvi” they smile to their friend

“Pick whichever kind of tea you’d like, we have a lot of options now”

They take a sip of their tea with a content looking smile “So how are you?”

"You too?"

Alvi voice was uncharacteristically solemn. It hadn't been very long since Art offered the same food. Did the two talk? The beginning of something like hatred unfurled in his stomach.

[violettathepiratequeen]

March 22nd, 2025

Hello there, gentle viewers! Welcome back to Buffy Slays, where I’ll be going through all 144 episodes of BtVS over the course of a year, highlighting as many of the GOOD moments, lines, character choices, worldbuilding moments, etc. etc. as I think people will have the patience to read. 

So, here we go! 

Season 1, Episode 8, “I, Robot… You, Jane.”

Buffy and Giles face a demon spirit who has been trapped since the Dark Ages and is unleashed into cyberspace. Meanwhile, Willow has fallen for a cyber-beau whom she met online and Xander and Buffy are wary of who this anonymous wooer may turn out to be. (Pulled from the BTVS Wiki.)

If you're reading along and haven't finished the show, consider this your Spoiler Warning for discussion of future episodes and major plot points in any and all of these posts.

Episode Number: #8 Episode Ranking: #127 out of 144. Writer: Ashley Gable & Thomas A. Swyden

Top 5 Quotes:

“Let’s face it. None of us are ever gonna have a happy, normal relationship.” —Buffy

Oh, I know, our ways are strange to you, but soon you will join us in the 20th century. With three whole years to spare!” —Miss Calendar

“To read makes our speaking English good.” —Xander

“I’ll be back in the Middle Ages.” “Did you ever leave?” —Giles and Miss Calendar

“The knowledge gained from a computer is... it has no texture, no context. It's there and then it's gone. If it's to last, then the getting of knowledge should be tangible, it should be, um... smelly.” —Giles

How “I, Robot… You, Jane” Slays:

The introduction of Jenny Calendar! Someone who is young and hip, teaching the class that probably everyone older than her is too scared to teach. But also she dabbles in the supernatural, and can exorcise a demon if need be. She keeps an eye on portents, she has a good enough grasp of demons that when Giles says the name “Moloch” she can instantly fill in the rest of his title: “The Corrupter?” She and Giles start out bickering… but I think it’s clear that there’s never any malice, at least not on her end. Future episodes will show that she enjoys books and reading and history and lore just as much as he does, she just teases him for being old-fashioned and never risking anything new and dangerous. And he’s flustered by someone spinning his world and forcing him out of his beloved library, but neither of them sabotage or are really rude to each other. It’s playful bickering, until they need to help each other. She’s friendly with her students and talks to them as equals, she waltzes into her classroom in sunglasses like a boss, and she does help Giles get Moloch out of the computer and into a body that Buffy can kill.

The monks in the beginning, who bind Moloch in the book to begin with, are portrayed as the good guys. The monks who will create Dawn are shown as the same. Both episodes have the monks risking their lives to perform an act that will halt or slow down the murderous actions of something supernatural, even if they can’t kill it themselves, and it’s just nice to see them shown this way.

When Buffy pulls a dusty book out of a box in the library, she makes an ick face that Spike would melt on the spot to see. When Miss Calendar corrects Giles on his use of “the idiot box” he makes such a sneering face at her that I don’t think he does for the rest of the show, and it’s just so petty and delightful. And when Willow breaks up with Moloch, beating his metal chest with an oxygen tank, she shows a rage that’s always amazing to see from her in early seasons.

Xander is pretty sharp in this episode. He knows what CRD is, the building where Moloch is getting a body built for him, and he’s the first to point out that Malcolm could be lying to Willow about who he is since he’s online… which is true. He tells Willow in a best friend way that he loves her, but, knowing by now of her crush on him, tells Buffy he’s not interested in Willow like that. And at the end of the episode, when Willow is bummed about falling for a robot-demon who lied to her, Xander wants to bring her to the Bronze, to make her smile. He and Buffy also try to encourage her by reminding her of their own failed relationships in the past couple of episodes.

Dave, sweet and shy Dave, offers to carry the heavy book for Buffy, is so clearly delighted with her when she asks him to help her with a computer problem, and stands up to Malcolm to save her life. I have more to say about him later on, but yeah, he’s just such a good kid. And the fact that Buffy doesn’t blame him for telling her to step into an electrified shower, but gives him the benefit of also trying to warn her to get out, is also great. She knows he’s not as messed up and brainwashed as Fritz.

Buffy’s little undercover outfit. She scoffs at Giles’ suggestion to tail Dave, but then does just that, in her leopard print trench coat and pink sunglasses. She will say in a future episode that she sucks at undercover, and boy does she, but I’m always excited when she tries.

Electrical, robotic, digital, or computer-related issues obviously aren’t really Buffy’s wheelhouse, but she manages to slay robot-Moloch anyway. And when he is electrocuted and his head flies off, Buffy crouches in front of her friends to protect them.

Buffy’s quiet disapproval of Malcolm. She’s clearly, and understandably, bothered by the fact that Willow is talking online to someone she’s never met in person and doesn’t know what he looks like or sounds like, but she’s gentle about it. She doesn’t lie and express her support for the guy, but does say she wants to be happy for Willow, and is trying to make sure he’s good enough for her. She points out her concerns, but doesn’t actually fight with Willow about it, even though Willow is very defensive about him and self-deprecating about herself. And though Buffy investigates the problem on her own, she does let Willow come to her own conclusion that Malcolm is up to no good.

Unsung Hero:

Dave is another death that is one of my LEAST favorites in the show. Because he’s so young. Because he’s so clearly scared. He’s someone shy and nervous and sweet, someone you can tell doesn’t really have a lot of friends or talk to a lot of people. The fact that someone like Buffy speaks to him with kindness and gratitude makes him look at her so admiringly. Unlike Fritz who is so absorbed in the computer thing that he willingly becomes a Moloch follower and murderer, Dave I think is someone who got stuck there, and was too terrified to back out.

But then he does. He does back out. He leads Buffy to the showers where an open wire is waiting to shock her, but then shouts at her to get out. He immediately runs to Moloch, wiping tears off his face, and announces that he’s out, that he can’t do this anymore, that Buffy is not someone who needs to die for this, because she’s not a threat. 

And Moloch has Fritz strangle Dave, and leave a suicide note pinned to his chest. Buffy finds his body and immediately knows the truth, but no one else ever will. No one will know that in his last few moments, this scared kid stood up to a demon to save the Slayer’s life, and was murdered for it. It’s the first sacrificial death in this show, the first time someone dies for Buffy, the first hero to lose his life.

Which is why he gets a segment in this post, because he deserves to be remembered.

A Demon in the Internet:

Giles: There’s a demon in the Internet. Miss Calendar: I know.

This episode gets a very, very bad rap, haha, and while in some ways I understand why… in other ways, I don’t. ALL of Season 1 is very campy, late 90s/early00s, and I’m not sure why this one is considered worse than some others. It’s definitely not one of my faves, but I ranked it higher than some others that we’ve already seen this season, and that’s because I think the issue presented is actually a really good one.

Computers were super new, at the time of this episode. The Internet was just a baby, people were wary and cautious of it, or just excited at the magical possibilities it presented and naive of the dangers it could present. And this episode may look dated, but I think it’s important sometimes to showcase the problems and dangers of the era it was created in.

Willow catfished by a demon who claims to love her. A demonic entity gone binary who erases student files and changes their essays to promote Nazis. Blind devotion to a god who slaughters its followers. It works because even today, the Internet is still dangerous, people still do get catfished and scammed and threatened and bullied and brainwashed, and AI becoming more mainstream is a dangerous and terrifying thing for so many of us, even if it was created for good.

I know this is coming off as very anti-Internet, lol, which Giles would be proud of. And here I am, definitely an active presence on it! Bottom line is, I think the message here is just to be careful, because there is a demon in the Internet. And this episode doesn’t deserve to be knocked down to the bottom of the list for saying so.

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And that’s a wrap on Episode 8! Thank you so much for reading this far!

Previous: “Angel.”

Next up: “The Puppet Show.” 

(Credit for GIFs in this post: @detectivedawnsummers)