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thenationaltreasuregazette · 6 months ago

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The 2003 Script, Act 2a

← Act 1

Previously on the 2003 script: Ben has committed to stealing the Declaration of Independence, after not as much prompting as I would like.

We resume in the National Archives, where Abigail enters her password to access the Declaration’s vault. Unbeknownst to her, she has UV ink on her hands, courtesy of her meeting with Ben. (This is page 35, scene 74 for those of you playing along at home.)

She enters with DR. STANLEY HERBERT.

Some important facts about Stan in this version are:

He’s in his 40s

Abigail is 26

He’s her boss

He’s asking her on an “I promise this isn’t a date” to the gala

Abigail says she doesn’t date coworkers. He responds with, “I’m not a coworker. I’m your boss.”

Dude.

The guards are more active in this version of the story. Head guard JOE WOODRUFF

(That’s this guy)

watches over the closed circuit cameras as…

… the Declaration gets lowered on its scissor-jack.

→ This is a real image of the old vault btw! It was changed in the early 2000s while the movie was in development and at some point (unclear to me if this was before or after the 2003 script) they had to change the method of the heist.

Abigail tests the case with a handheld gas chromatograph as she asks Dr. Herbert if he thinks there could be anything on the Declaration that’s gone overlooked. He tells her if she’s angling for a grant, this isn’t the way to get it.

→ I like that we get to see a little bit more about what Abigail does, (and would like more!) but all that’s actually important here is the fact that you can get right next to the case as its lowering.

The process finishes and the Declaration gets locked away in its vault.

In the subway, both Ben and Riley sneak down a subway tunnel and into a utility room.

Riley has a toy truck that’s actually an ROV with a camera tapped to the hood.

This next scene is very stylized as we jump up to a birds eye view of the street and then dive through the ground to meet the ROV.

→ This is cool, but almost too cool? While this definitely matches the tone of the script, it would feel out of place in the finished film, where the simple cutting between Ben and Riley’s preparation activities (to that jammin’ score) provides plenty of tension. The final movie tones down this "digital jumping effect" so it feels more seamless with the heist. This is also another example of the differentiation between Ian and Shaw that we discussed in Part 1. Ben and Riley also got differentiated more by the final version, so Riley handles tech activities alone, and Ben does the history and man-on-the-ground stuff. It helps the characters not blend together so much, and makes it clear why these guys needs sidekicks in the first place.

The 75th Anniversary Gala is tomorrow night, and it’s both Ben and Ian’s target. Ben also plans to use the glitch-the-system method to get the Declaration to lower automatically.

No other preparation is required, as Riley is going to add Ben’s name to the guest list while he’s hacking the Archive’s security system.

The Gala

Abigail stands with Dr. Herbert and they have this conversation, presented here in its entirety.

ABIGAIL What do you think Thomas Jefferson would say if he were here? DR. HERBERT He’d say, “Abigail, you need to find a man of whom you are as passionate about as you are of me…who’s not dead.”

→ Screenwriting is a constant balance between making sure things are “on the page” —that is, actually apparent to a reader/viewer and not existing only in the writer’s head—without being “on the nose”—excessively obvious. I think the way Ben and Abigail’s relationship statuses (or lack thereof) are presented in this version are a bit on the nose. Ben’s landlady told him point blank, “You know when you talk about Charlotte all the time, it scares the girls away.” And here we have Dr. Herbert’s comment to Abigail. Like, okay. We get it. They’re both so obsessed with history they’re forgetting to live their personal lives. If only they could pair up with someone as dorky as they were… Basically, this is still true in the finished movie, but it’s much more subtle. It’s subtext rather than text. So is Dr. Herbert’s interest in Abigail. Making those things present but asking the viewer to work for them a bit instead of force-feeding them makes the story more engaging, at least imo. You get to go on a little treasure hunt of your own to piece their personal lives and backstories together.

In the van, Riley watches the surveillance feed on his laptop. His sings this jaunty little tune:

ON THE SCREEN, he ZOOMS IN ON the FAT SENATOR. RILEY (sings to the tune of Santa Claus is coming to Town) "He sees you when you're drinking…" He pans to a smarmy MAN flirting with a pretty LADY. RILEY (CONT'D) "He knows when you are cheating…" He ZOOMS in until the pretty lady's butt fills the screen. RILEY (CONT'D) "…He knows when you left your panties at home…" As Riley zooms in on the butt, we transition to…

→ Again, Riley is a significantly different character, and we will discuss in a different edition.

Ben takes a champagne glass and toasts with Riley through the security camera.

Ben wants to bail on the heist, until Riley spots Ian and his crew on another camera.

→ In the final film, Ben’s absolute conviction that this is the right thing to do is doing a lot of work to both move the story forward and convince the audience that this is also a plausible course of action. His passion for the whole thing really gets us behind him.

Abigail comes up to Ben and they exchange a similar flirtation to the final movie. However, in this version, Ben doesn’t need to get anything from her.

Abigail asks about the “pipe that Bigfoot took,” and Dr. Herbert arrives with two champagne glasses and a boatload of jealousy.

Ben flatters Dr. Herbert by recognizing him and his work, saying that he cited one of Dr. Herbert’s papers in his thesis. (In this version Ben very much has a Ph.d and it’s mentioned several times.)

Meanwhile, Ian’s crew gets their heist going, starting with Shaw tasering a camera at the service entrance. This alerts the guards to a malfunction, and one, FERGUSON, is sent to check it out.

Back at the party, Ben gives his wacky toast (The burned entrails are still his favorite punishment) and offers a toast to “The brave men who did what was considered wrong in order to do what they knew was right.” He leaves.

Dr. Herbert is kind of a buffoon, and thinks Ben was great. Abigail is suspicious.

Below, Ian and crew taser Ferguson, and Riley notices the busted camera. So they know that Ian is here and attempting the same thing, but Ben believes he can beat Ian to the Declaration.

While having the bad guys show up earlier seems like it should make the story more tense, not less, in this case I think it deflates how intimidating Ian and Co are supposed to be. I mean Ben and Riley are basically ignoring them. The decision to let us the audience know Ian and the gang are on the scenes without tipping off Ben and Riley was a much stronger one. It makes us worry about Ben’s safety and puts him off guard when he and Riley learn Ian’s already here. This sequence in the final film is a good example of both “dramatic irony” (we know something the characters don’t) and “parallel action” (quickly cutting back and forth between two sets of actions to build tension—in this case Ian’s heist and Ben’s heist.

Riley overrides the camera feed and Ben takes the elevator down to the vault room. He’ll have exactly 2 minutes to get the case.

Meanwhile, Ian uses a remote to blow up a transformer outside the Archives. The lights go out and the guests react.

Ben’s elevator stops. He and Riley realize this was Ian’s doing, and that the 2 minute countdown started as soon as the power went out.

Ben asks Riley to trigger the alarm to get Ian caught, but Riley can’t since all the alarms are already going off due to the outage.

At the party, the documents all start lowering. A guard tells the guests this is normal procedure, but Abigail is suspicious.

Auxiliary power kicks in with 96 seconds remaining.

We intercut between Ian and Co making their way to the vault (cutting through steel doors and all that), with Ben exiting the elevator and going to the vault.

57 seconds remaining, and they need to get Abigail’s password first. This procedure, password, and anagram are the same.

Ben rushes in, and the vault doors are already starting to close. He yoinks the case with barely a moment to spare.

This moment happens almost exactly the same:

In the elevator, Ben uses to droppers of chemicals to burn through the bolts on the case.

The gift shop scene is also basically the same. He even still has $32.57 in cash.

Meanwhile, the guards go looking for Ferguson, who never reported back.

Woodruff sees that the Declaration is missing, orders a Code Red, and calls the FBI.

Abigail follows Ben out.

When Abigail calls for the police, Ben grabs her and she bites him, coming away with the Declaration.

She makes sure to tell Ben he’s pathetic before crossing the street.

Abigail gets abducted by Ian and his crew.

Inside the catering truck, a sudden turn causes Abigail to fall and lets Ian snatch the Declaration.

Ian says, “No witnesses” and Shaw pulls his gun on Abigail. That’s when they all see the price tag.

Shaw stumbles while Abigail stalls and gets to the back door. She manages to get the door unlatched just as the catering truck crashes into Ben’s van. The doors swing open with Abigail on them.

Then there’s this just fantastic cutaway. I love this trope.

The rest of the rescue is similar, though the obstacle is traffic, not a construction zone.

The doors swing shut, leaving Abigail in front of a firing squad. Ben yanks the door pack open in the same moment Shaw shoots…

…and hits an oncoming tanker truck.

The tanker jackknifes, and Ian, Shaw, and Powell dive out of the truck. Shippen, who was driving, dies in the resulting crash.

→ Killing off henchmen adds stakes to the heist, kind of. We know due to the rules of PG-13 Disney movies that our heroes aren’t in any more danger than before. However, it paints the world with a slightly more violent tone, and again, focuses on much bigger action sequences than the final film.

In the van, Ben tells Abigail his name, and rather than recognizing it, she thinks “Benjamin Franklin Gates” sounds fake.

→ The academic disgrace of the Gates family isn’t really present in this version, and I think that aids the final film a lot. With just a few lines about it, we get a much clearer picture of who Ben is, what he’s up against, and why he can’t consider going about this mission through more reputable channels.

Back at the Archives, Sadusky comes in and is a man in charge. He’s more detailed in his orders than in the final movies, asking for footage, logs, car in the parking garage, and anything unaccounted for.

Poor Woodruff can barely choke out and answer to “What exactly was taken?”

In the van, Ben and Abigail go back and forth about the history of the Templar Knights, actually in some detail. Ben shows her a dollar bill as “proof.”

She’s about to attempt to escape this vehicle too, when he asks if she still wants to hear the riddle from the pipe. She agrees and he recites it.

Abigail agrees to let Ben examine the Declaration, because this would be a major historical find. However, if there’s nothing there, he turns himself in. Ben agrees, because if there’s nothing there, the Declaration is safe from future treasure hunters.

Sadusky’s investigation goes pretty much the same, although Dr. Herbert is practically in tears when he learns someone used acid near the Declaration.

The FBI also sees that Dr. Abigail Chase access the vault at 9:32 that night. Dr. Herbert says that’s not possible since he was with her at the time.

→ BTW, her title that I couldn’t remember in the Timeline articles is “Charters of Freedom Custodian.”

She’s the only staff member unaccounted for.

The FBI raids Ben’s apartment, per his credit card record, and find the clear room environment. The major difference here are that they give more background detail on Ben:

He bought a one-way ticket from Toronto to D.C. two days ago after spending seven months unaccounted for.

Before that his paper trail put him in Boston, France, Boston, and Greenland.

The landlady likes him and he always pays his rent on time.

They also believe they’re looking for an anti-government terrorist, btw. This is the second time this theory is brought up.

→ I like that in the movie Sadusky doesn’t make assumptions about what Ben’s doing and why. He starts by studying him.

Ian catches up with the same “Silence is a name” realization.

Since the police and FBI are swarming around Ben’s apartment,

RILEY What do we do now? ABIGAIL Turn yourselves in.

→ Abigail is snarkier in this version, and gets in a few good zingers.

Ben tells Riley to head to Hillcrest, and Riley rebuts without telling Abigail who they’re talking about.

RILEY He hates you. He'll turn you in. ABIGAIL Whoever it is, he sounds like a good man.

→ Hillcrest is a well-off neighborhood in Washington D.C. I always assumed Patrick lived in or around D.C., perhaps even inheriting the same house we saw in the film’s opening flashback, which is clearly labeled as in D.C. I’ve only listened to a few episodes of the National Treasure Hunt podcast, but it struck me as strange that the hosts assumed Patrick lives outside of Philadelphia? What did you think?

And thus we arrive at Ben’s father’s house. Their relationship is worse in this version, so much so that Patrick slams the door on Ben before Ben can say a word.

We also heard Riley bring up Ben’s father—and the fact that he wasn’t supposed to bring him up—in an earlier scene.

→ The change here is once again about letting Ben have to struggle to make the decision. In this script, he just decides that visiting his father is what they need to do, and Riley brings up the reasons why that’s a bad idea, but Ben won’t be deterred. Once they arrive, Patrick can’t deter him from his quest either. In the film, Ben has Riley pull over at the park while he struggles to make the decision. He knows it’s the best move he can make right now, but he sends valuable time looking for alternatives. That’s how much he doesn’t want to have to see his father and tell him what he did. That makes his upcoming confrontation with Patrick hit harder, since we saw how hard it was for Ben to decide to do it in the first place. I also think toning down their estrangement was a good choice too. In this version, Patrick is actively angry at Ben. In the final, he’s just disappointed, and we all know that’s so much worse.

Ben asks for the Silence Dogood letters right out of the gate, without having Patrick welcome them into the house first. Again, their relationship is not even at the “offering cold leftover pizza” stage in this draft.

Patrick knew there was a ship called Charlotte and spend seven years searching for her off the coast of France, where she was headed.

The FBI finds the Silence Dogood clue, and release Ben and Abigail’s pictures to the press.

Back at the house, Abigail is surreptitiously looking for a phone. She pulls the old “where’s the bathroom?” trick, and Ben catches her, having gotten to the phone first.

Ben says they had a deal; Abigail says she can’t trust him. Ben considers this, hands her the phone, and leaves.

→ While this gesture of trust is nice, I think the choice to have Abigail make a big decision in the park at the same time Ben does works much better. It puts them on a more equal footing and shrinks the time when Abigail is ostensibly kidnapped by Ben to as little as possible. Not a good look for your leading man to hold the love interest hostage. (Though not as uncommon as it should be) Having Abigail take an active role in the treasure hunt that much sooner gets Ben out of a yikes-y spot, and makes Abigail more interesting as well, since we she that she’s not just a victim of circumstance, but actively willing to put herself in further danger for the Declaration.

Abigail doesn’t call the police.

Patrick nearly puts a tray of tea down on the Declaration…

…until Ben quickly intercepts.

A similar discussion about putting it in the oven, and then Ben uses the lemon juice, and Ben alone breathes on the parchment to reveal part of the map.

→ Again, since Abigail has not actively committed to protecting the Declaration at all costs, she’s just a passenger in this scene, but the one in the final movie is so much more effective. After all, Ben just stole the thing; we know what lengths he’s willing to go to, and lemon juice doesn’t seem like too big a deal. But we have no idea what lengths Abigail is willing to go to until this moment, when she throws her whole career away to keep Ben from damaging the document any more than he has to. That’s a huge character moment! And it’s totally absent here.

They reveal the rest of the map, and then Patrick finds out what it’s on the back of.

Riley spots Ben and Abigail’s pictures being broadcast on the evening news.

→ This press subplot adds a little bit of pressure, but it doesn’t result in anyone recognizing them or meaningfully changing the plot in any other way, so I see why they cut it. One of the Save the Cat! recommendations is “Keep the press out of it” for pretty much the same reason. If the press in not an active subplot, or part of the theme of the story, they’re a distraction that can end up opening more questions than they answer. Involving the media can make a story world feel too big in a bad way. It’s generally better to keep things focused on the immediate characters. Which is the direction the final film chooses to take, and I think it’s the right one.

Abigail wants to turn themselves in now that they have proof. Ben thinks the FBI with think he planted the map, and the Declaration will remain in danger. The only way forward is to find the treasure.

Abigail says they should change clothes, but there’s no scene in the car, and no scene at the clothing store.

→ I miss this so much! That scene in the car is one of my favorites in the whole movie. It goes such a long way in building trust between Ben and Abigail. I’m also just a slut for quiet moments in general, but I love love love how it establishes and builds the dynamic between all three of them as they move into the “active treasure quest” portion of events.

This isn’t an article about story structure, but I consider the reveal of the cypher to be the midpoint of the movie. That’s when the mission of the story shifts from trying to prove a theory to wanting to see the quest through.

So onward we go!

#the national treasure gazette #national treasure #ben gates #abigail chase #riley poole #stanley herbert #nt fanart #peter sadusky #patrick gates #the 2003 script

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