#Because there is no difference between how tired I am at night Vs day

[caterpillarinacave]

I don’t think everyone understands like just how tired I am when I say I’m tired. Not like in an emotional way I mean I’m literally just so sleepy

[mysticbewitched]

Exposing Misconceptions:

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{Note: The hissing cat above represents all this misinformation getting under my skin. Some people are making my claws come out.}

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I wanted to write this post because I am beyond sick and tired of all the ridiculous amount of misinformation being spread on this platform.

Day after night, there are so many different manifestation blogs from people who clearly do not understand a single damn thing about manifestation spreading misinformation and misconceptions about how all of this jazz truly works.

The blogs doing this do not actually understand the inner process of how natural operation of manifestation and how we manifest all the time as creators of our own reality.

There's a lot of misconceptions buzzing around here and concepts that I have been seeing people take in an actual literal manner instead of truly seeing and understanding the greater picture here, especially when it comes to Neville's teaching of imagination creating reality.

On that note, don't even get me started on the misconceptions that so many anons and bloggers have about the understanding of states.

The ignorant lack of understanding and misinformation people spread about Neville's teaching of states truly makes me want to throw a chair at some people.

I'm not kidding when I say that I could have an absolute field day with those people. Lock me in a room with them, and I'll tell them how it is. It's time to clear all this shit up right now.

It seriously drives me up the damn wall when people view states of consciousness as an optional method.

Honey, no. I cannot possibly express the amount of frustration I feel when I see blogs advertising Neville's teaching of states as a manifestation method. It's such a simple truth of how unconscious manifestation occurs all the time, and people either completely misunderstand the concept or overcomplicate it to hell.

To the people doing this: stop spreading misinformation and confusing people who actually want to understand the natural operation of manifestation and how to truly succeed with manifesting their desires.

It makes everyone frustrated and confused as hell because they're not receiving the right information they need in order to truly understand manifestation and manifest their desires.

I just want to completely clarify everything once and for all, so my awesome and beloved followers can receive the right information they need in order to help them succeed on their manifestation journey and feel inspired to stay away from blogs who have no idea what they're talking about.

It's clearly the blind leading the blind all over tumblr. The annoying misconceptions and misinformation need to come to an end.

Without further ado, let's dive in.

"3D vs. The 4D / The 4D is more real than the 3D"

People who are preaching this bullshit. Seriously, stop. Listen to me closely, I'm about to blow your mind.

There is absolutely *zero* separation between the "outer world" and imagination. I will be making a post on this to dive into this concept deeper, but to summarize this all up: the "external reality" and imagination are *one*. Separation is an illusion, and absolutely everything you're experiencing is coming from *within you*.

"External reality" is coming from your inner state of consciousness. All comes from within.

The "external" is the manifested expression from the internal because they are simply the same.

Your reality is an expression of *yourself* pushed out.

Imagination creates reality. It *is* reality.

There is absolutely no separation.

"I don't know how to feel emotions for my desire -"

Emotions have absolutely *nothing* to do with manifestation, so you can chill out and take a deep breath. First of all, when Neville spoke on "feeling is the secret," he is simply speaking of the acceptance of the fact that your desire is fulfilled.

"When I speak of feeling, I do not mean emotion, but acceptance of the fact that it is fulfilled. " - Neville Goddard

"Feeling the wish fulfilled" is only embodying the confident mindset of knowing that your desire is a done deal. Secondly, conscious manifestation is seriously all about your mindset. Transform your mindset into one full of confidence in your own abilities, and then deliberate manifestation becomes a smooth and easy breeze for you.

Your mindset is the key to experiencing Heaven on Earth. Seriously, just change the damn mindset, and you will never have to struggle on your spiritual journey ever again, I promise you.

"But not everyone likes using states-"

People who say this shit, do you hear yourself? Are you serious right now?

The complete ignorance and misinformation about the concept of states absolutely astounds me.

I'm only going to say this once, and I'm going to need you to listen close.

*STATES ARE NOT A DAMN METHOD*. Stop spreading this bullshit lie and misinformation.

States are a mental state. A state of mind with a certain perception. Your mindset holds your perception of everything you are aware of about yourself and the things you experience in your reality. You either have a "victimized" perception of yourself, or you have a truly confident perception of yourself in regard to conscious manifesting.

Either way, you are *always* in a state. There is no escaping that fact.

You always have a mindset.

States of consciousness are a mental attitude, not a motherfucking method and this is not something to "apply". Your state contains the beliefs/assumptions you have about yourself which is expressed right back to you in physical form.

You are unconsciously manifesting your reality all the time from your dominant state of consciousness. So no, it's not something "you can try to see if it works for you." You are always in a state of consciousness, whether it's a good one or a negative one.

This is not a matter of "well, whatever works for you. You decide-" No, no, no. One more time, you are *always* in a state, and you hold a dominant state that determines your perception of yourself and the "outer world" around you.

You are God experiencing the game of life through different states of consciousness.

The dominant state you hold is whatever manifests in the physical, and you are manifesting unconsciously all the time.

You are not your state. You are the pure awareness behind those states. You embody a state of consciousness, and the physical manifestation is expressed in your reality.

For more information on the truth about states, check out my post on Infinite States.

"Affirmations are thoughts"

Affirmations are simply positive statements for the assertion that something is true for you. These statements are expressed through thinking, speaking, and the use of subliminals/supraliminals.

Affirmations are a only a tool for reprogramming your beliefs in your subconscious mind to change your perception and they can also be used as a helpful tool for reminding yourself of already having your desires when you are living in the end and embodying the confident mind state of the wish fulfilled.

"I don't need to work on self-concept"

Love, you have got it twisted.

It's not about self-esteem or seeing yourself as a sexy goddess.

Your dominant state of consciousness is formed by your self-concept. Your honest conception of yourself is who you believe you are, the idea/perception you hold about yourself, and what you believe about yourself to be true.

Your self-concept forms your dominant state of mind which means it is the root cause of any underlying patterns you experience in all categories of your life. (health, jobs, money, relationships, spiritual journey, etc).

Your "outer world" simply is *yourself pushed out* and that is completely filled with your honest deeply-rooted beliefs/assumptions about yourself (and others: everyone is yourself pushed out).

Changing your self-concept only means to evaluate your inner beliefs/assumptions about yourself and change it all in order to experience your desired experience of reality as a result to match your new beliefs.

At the end of the day, improving your self-concept is solely about transforming your mindset from victimhood to the mindset of a confident creator who is aware of the manifestation power within.

Self-concept is always the most important.

Change the way you see yourself = your reality expresses the new change. There is *no* separation.

"But I need to reach the void! - blah, blah, blah"

No, you don't. You want to reach the void state, and your obsession with the void state needs to end.

You can manifest anything you desire with or without experiencing yourself as pure consciousness. It is all up to you.

You do not need to experience the void state in order to manifest your desires.

Let me tell you something, the void is actually *you* in your truest form. You are awareness.

The same awareness that manifested this whole entire universe.

And hear you are tripping out over "needing to achieve" the void state in order to manifest your specific person or a smaller waist.

You need to stop putting the void state on the pedestal and your mindset seriously needs to change, it's not helping you in reaching the void. You *are* the power of the void itself.

Take it down from the pedestal and put yourself on the pedestal instead. You are the God of your reality.

What are you tripping for? Simply turn within.

You can manifest *anything* you desire.

There are no limits for your power.

*You are the power*

You are the whole damn universe expressing itself in physical form. Get it together and chin up.

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Ending note: Please stop following blogs or listening to anons who are spreading these misconceptions and all this misinformation.

These people are sadly ignorant of the true workings of manifestation and how the law of consciousness naturally operates on autopilot.

Be careful with the information you consume on here or any other form of social media. Too many people have seriously got it twisted, and they're just regurgitating information from concepts they do not understand. It is absurd.

Thank you for reading. ~

[sirhamburrger]

𝐢𝐢: 𝐩𝐞𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐫 (𝐧.)

𝐩𝐞𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐫 (𝐧.): 𝐚 𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐬𝐦𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐟𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐜𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐦, 𝐝𝐫𝐲 𝐰𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫

𝐚𝐤𝐫𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐚 (𝐧.) [𝐚𝐤𝐚𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐢 𝐱 𝐟!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫]

word count: 1191 || prev || next

“so, i take it the meeting with akaashi went well?” hitoka says almost slyly, as if she's trying to elicit some kind of flustered reaction from you.

you feel your face heat up at her tone of voice, even in the cool of your air-conditioned apartment. it's always been like this - the second you show even the slightest interest in a guy, they pounce on you like predators do their prey, and dissect you like a biology experiment.

which isn’t great for you at the moment because keiji akaashi… is kind of cute.

you simply frown, averting their gazes. “he's a nice guy,” you say evenly, not looking up from the fingerboard of your guitar as you position your hand in the correct chord shape. just thinking about his nervous demeanor on monday morning makes you want to giggle a little. “a little too quiet for me, though.”

“maybe you made him nervous,” alisa suggests mischievously, feeding you a handful of koshu grapes. mouth full of pink fruit, you glare at both your blonde friends. “i wouldn't be surprised if you did.”

knock it off, alisa,” you grumble, swatting at her head with your free hand, which she dodges immediately. 

“not the face!” she gasps dramatically. “how am i supposed to make money without it?”

“nothing some aptly applied concealer can't fix. plus, you've still got the rest of your body!” hitoka says brightly.

alisa’s about to bite back with a quick remark, but her demeanor quickly changes as she seems to have suddenly remembered something important. “hey, isn't he the guy from fukurōdani?” she says suddenly, to which hitoka nods. “they pissed levochka off to no end,” alisa adds, shuddering at what must be some horrible memory of a nekoma vs. fukurōdani match.

“he was a pretty great setter back in the day. he played with bokuto for two years,” the former karasuno manager explains.

“kotaro bokuto? from the jackals?” you say incredulously. “they couldn't be more different!” hitoka and alisa laugh at your surprise. you can’t even find it in you to be embarrassed at the fact that the msby player was one of your hyperfixations a few months back.

distracted as you laugh along with them, you play a wrong chord. it rings out discordant in the still night air, and you let out a tiny noise of annoyance.

it's only now that you realise it's ten minutes to midnight, and the numbers on the tabbed fingerstyle score seem to swim between the lines with how tired you are. you've been trying - and failing - to nail this section of the piece for what feels like hours, and now you're positively despondent. the deep-seated ache in your muscles caused by your poor posture does little to lift your spirits. you touch the fingers of your left hand together, feeling the hard calluses.

almost unconsciously, you think of akaashi. you hope he's not as fatigued as you feel right now. you reach for the cup of cold coffee on the tabletop, yawning, only to have your hand batted away by a disapproving alisa. she tsks at you as she stares down at the concentric brown rings lining the inner surface of the cup. 

“hey!” you protest, grabbing at her hand. she's got the advantage of her longer arms, though, and sets it aside quickly. 

“you drink way too much coffee,” the japanese-russian model huffs. “that cannot be healthy.”

“yeah, well, my job doesn't exactly demand much of me in the physical aspect,” you retort, strumming idly at your guitar. “i bring money in as long as my hands can type on a keyboard.”

an abrupt snore from hitoka startles you both, and you exchange smiles as you look at her peaceful, sleeping form. “i think your music lulled her to sleep, solnyshka,” alisa chuckles.

little sun. she calls you that all the time, and you miss her saying it whenever she's away. 

as she hoists hitoka into her arms, you almost forget alisa's due to leave for switzerland in a week's time. it's for some kind of fancy photoshoot with her new agency, and she'll be there for the next few months. she'll go back to her busy life, and you and hitoka will go back to your own. 

what a rat race the modern world is.

“you two should go to bed first,” you tell alisa. “i’ll be staying up a little while longer.”

“if you're not in bed in the next fifteen minutes, i will drag you by your feet into your room and tuck you in,” she threatens.

you nod, your lips curving up in a small smile. “dobroye nochi, alisa.”

“dobroye nochi.”

“dobrobabada gnocchi?” a sleepy hitoka murmurs, causing alisa to gasp dramatically at how her native language has been butchered. with a wave of her hand, they disappear round the corner into the guest bedroom they share when they stay over at your place. their giggles and whispers die down after a few short minutes, replaced by loud snores. so much for making sure you sleep on time.

you bring your hand up to the neck of the guitar again. settling your fingers in fifth position on the fretboard, you prepare to pluck the first note -

and then your phone pings loudly. 

five times.

your concentration broken, you mutter a quiet curse and snatch the device off the coffee table. the sound of the notification tells you they're messages from an unknown number. 

damn right, you think irritably, saving his contact name in your phone as simply “keiji akaashi”. he’s so polite about it somehow, that you find it hard to stay mad at him. 

hitoka, though? you can't believe she gave him your phone number without even asking. you huff to yourself as you type out what you hope is an acceptable reply.

the sound of light rain pattering on your windowsill gently pulls you out of your dreamy thoughts, and you look out over a moonlit tokyo. stepping out onto the balcony, you take a seat on the rattan chair.

the lone plant on the balcony, a little olive sapling, collects rainwater in its pot. an earthy smell wafts towards you - petrichor. a sliver of nature in this concrete jungle. it smells like warmth and love and home.

there are different kinds of quiets you like; comfortable, warm silence as you watch a chick flick with alisa and hitoka. tranquil autumn days when you wake up to spectacular showers of golden leaves. peaceful afternoons spent in the quiet of your room, typing away at your computer.

but this? this is your favourite kind of quiet. 

secretly, you're excited to see akaashi again. he's smart, he's sharp, and he's cute when he's flustered. if you close your eyes, you could picture perfectly his deep blue eyes widening in surprise at just about anything you said. 

they were pretty, just like the rest of him.

you don't remember how long you sit there, or what time you drift off exactly. what you do remember is your very last thought before succumbing to a deep, peaceful slumber -

i wonder if he likes the smell of petrichor too.

[m.list]

author's notes:

this chapter was almost named accismus (a feigned refusal of something earnestly desired), but i think i'll save this word for a later chapter instead heh

i love the idea of reader knowing alisa from some kind of fashion magazine she used to be a columnist for

can i make reader a language nerd. please.

bokuto's my absolute fave and i dragged him into this mess of a fic because why not! we'll see what happens with him later on

likes, comments, follows and reblogs are greatly appreciated :) don't hesitate to correct any factual discrepancies or ask questions about this fic!

© sirhamburrger 2024

[wejustvibing]

Here to vent. Everything you said was perfectly said and I agree. The issue is and has always been (imo) is that no one stands up for lewis appropriately. Just a lot of empty words. And I don’t even mean just his team and teammate I mean in general. I don’t trust a single person around him in that sport. It’s tiring sad and exhausting because every week i anticipate abuse or bias against him with little to no support or backlash for certain actions against him. Even other drivers that are nice to him I don’t believe it. Maybe I’m being far too cautious but no one around him has given appropriate levels of support in all situations that require it. Irrespective of who Lewis is and how he wishes to deal with things, his team have a duty of care to support him, treat him equally and protect him and I feel like because he can articulate himself rather well most of the time, has a mindset of rising above and a good work ethic / strong will - they assume he doesn’t need the support. Everyone needs it. And the difference between how they treat George Vs him is like day and night, very different and very gross. It may be unconscious or deliberate, but regardless of which it is it’s worrying. The team in a general sense hasn’t been the same since 2021. The dynamic has shifted, the strengths that made them a force have disappeared, social media has been a mess etc i could make an entire list. What’s happening here isn’t something a fast car is going to fix. That being said i don’t think Lewis needs to leave the team per se but I do think there needs to be some changes and fast. You don’t necessarily need to quit a job straight away, sometimes what’s obvious to us isn’t obvious to everyone and can potentially be solved. He clearly gets along with many of the people there and feels comfortable there, and amongst thousands of employees there are only some that need to be better in regards to the problems I am discussing so I won’t dictate to him about whether he should go elsewhere or leave. He’s grown he can make those choices himself (not saying you are trying to talk for him btw i hope that doesn’t sound rude to you) but I do think he may need an eye opener as does the team that they are just not working well lately. For a while. Things need to change. I think these issues are fixable though with the correct support and people. Honestly as a black person myself this is tiring seeing things play out like this as all too often I have experienced these things too. Merc has some gems in their team for sure but that’s being overshadowed by a colossal pile of problems. I want Lewis to have support. It’s not about babying him. It’s about the fact that he rarely gets support sufficiently (and it’s still lacking) until he’s being called slurs. This sport is rotten and I wish I could tune it out. Every race week I’m anxious.

thank you and i agree

you're not being too cautious, i feel you there. this perfectly describes the conditioning we've had through microaggressions and racism irl. you just can't let your guard down. it's instinctive and it's stressful especially when you know there's nothing you can do about it.

the number of times this team has failed to show up for him is concerning. and really, we (i) don't expect a special treatment or babying, in fact, there's no need for a pedestal they keep putting him on when it suits the brand. just let him be a fucking human? back him up when you know everything he does invites insane levels of hatred and abuse.

and you're so right! if anything, a fast car is going to make things worse for them given the team dynamic they're cultivating, quite evidently through social media at least and often with strategy. i get that the car is shit but they can easily put effort into sorting these issues out. they're just too casual with the way they leave him to fend for himself just because he can. but are quick to exploit his success, emotions and words.

and many are failing to see why we are unhappy. george is a selfish asshole which well all the drivers are. but he is not a threat to lewis in terms of race craft or talent. it's what this team is actively trying to portray that's damaging and pissing us off. i get it, it's not a portrayal of the entire team but then they need to stop taking advantage of lewis' character and show him the support he deserves.

[mischievous-mayhem-is-upon-you]

Definite Triggers: US E*lection

If you fuck with Trump or if you’re a Canadian conservative leaning towards Poiliere GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY BLOG PERIOD.

After this I won’t post personal rants on politics but I am tired and pissed off and I’m sorry to all of my American friends, followers and mutuals. I am here for you in support.

As a Canadian who’s watched this current election unravel all day/night, this election has to be the most mind boggling thing I’ve ever witnessed.

The amount of people who threw their vote to 3rd party during THIS ELECTION??? Why? What was the fucking purpose for damning the lives around you and very well your own for ANOTHER 4 years with a man who’s unfit for office - who used white supremacy/ racism / sexism to name only a few things? A man who’s only purpose in politics is to blame immigrants, POC, Women, LGBTQ, people with disabilities and the low income / working class for the countries problems when it’s the rich and elite pulling the strings across the country to HURT YOU and privately profiting off of it??

There’s also people coming forward in a panic saying they tossed him a vote because “they thought it would be funny, and didn’t think he would win”. Fuck you, regardless if you think the elected candidates are a joke and would never win (which clearly already happened), if you’re not voting on policies for the betterment of the country and counties/cities you’re in, then don’t fucking vote because it fucking matters. There are states with less than 100 ballots of a difference between Kamala and Trump…LESS THAN 100! Your voice did matter!!

Under “normal” and I’ll say that loosely circumstances I am all for voting on your own personal values for policies on a country wide scale even if it means a vote away from the primary candidates as changes have to start somewhere if you want to see any hope of breaking free from the constant 4 year cycle of typical shit vs shittier…but this was not the fucking time. In the states she needed, those 1-2% third party votes would have changed the outcome in the states she needed to hang on.

I am livid, frustrated and tired of what feels like big project social engineering experiments happening across the country in the USA to see how gullible and malleable the people are. And this is a call for the next 4 years to make yourself HEARD, part take in your local government and help make your local community safer for you and your loved ones.

I am typically apolitical due to family stresses in my own country, but I have watched since the first presidency of Trump, my family loose themselves in to believing this man to be the true saviour of the USA, and the world. I’ve gone from a left wing family many of which who once used to be and still are gay/lesbian/bi, once had friends of many cultures and religions who once said they would vote on the protection of the minority and people who are at harm by big government no longer stand by that practice and are actively looking to vote conservative which is now forming to align with the USA’s right wing ideology. If we were in the states it would be my vote against 15 and I just don’t know how to stomach it.

And this is exactly how it will play when it comes to our elections for Prime Minister. Which is why I’m not going to back away - even if I can’t break through to my family. Showing solidarity and support for the people in my community that could suffer from a conservative flip during our election is now the only thing I’ve got left. For any Canadians who are new to voting or are struggling with their thoughts on what to do. Research policies, pay attention to unbiased news outlets, and vote on issues that matter most to you on a country wide scale.

My family is celebrating today in Canada that he won…so I am with you for anyone who is hurting and feeling lost right now. This is unacceptable and I am sorry.

[autocann1bal]

part three of my playlist analysis!!

part 1 &lt;- part 2 <- back into the pit we go!!

therese - maya hawke kipps?? trying to rizz up lucy?? lockwood thinks not he comes to the rescue 'therese does not belong to you/the horses, cars, and cowboys do' type beat (ps ik what the song is about its for locklyle purposes)

youre somebody else - flora cash imagine how different norrie would be if she came back :) atlantis - seafret oh my god lucy is losing her SHIT after a more intense case where lockwood almost died (again) and they had gotten in a fight just before he put himself in immediate danger and shes just sitting on her bed thinking about it and how if he died the last words she said to him wouldve been harmful. shootout - izzamuzzic eepy vibes after a talk that lasted late into the night. apocalypse - cigarettes after sex this is self explanatory methinks?. tried - beabadoobe hes so tired of living. he just wants to rest [read as: die] lucy said no. they talk for hours one day, george is also there chiming in at appropriate times, they all fall asleep on lockwoods bed and lucy wakes up before the rest of them to make tea and brings it back to the room and they talk more :). telephone - waterparks au where lucy was on fittes team before joining lockwood and co and theyre btoh just watching eachother from afar for a bit <33. cough it out - the front bottoms the repeated 'i am delusional with love' is so both of them :( they both think the other one doesnt like them back. headache - rigby this could be both lockwood and lucy feeling like theyre weighing the other/the team down. it fits very well with either of them. god must hate me - catie turner very much stemming from lucy's in depth descriptions of her insecurities in the books, especially about "not being as pretty as other girls". (this doesnt relate to the song but the fact that we're outside of her head for the show is so nice because we can see that lockwood has literally been head over heels for her since the beginning and he loves her just the way she is). fool - frankie cosmos lockwood feels like he'll never be able to have her. he thinks shes to good for him :(. haunt me 3x - teen suicide lockwood braiding lucys hair after a panic attack, it helps him feel grounded <33 (im so unoriginal im sorry). listen before i go - billie eilish im not even gonna explain this one. figure it out. your hint is: lockwood. anyone else but you - the moldy peaches theyre so perfect for eachother. they dont even think other people are attractive because theyre so engulfed in their love for one another. i want what they have. funny you should ask - the front bottoms the in between stage before they where together and lockwood is. being angsty as usual. style - taylor swift THEY NEVER GO OUT OF STYLE!!!!! back to the old house 2011 remaster - the smiths lucy talking about the town she grew up in, telling lockwood about her mom, about her friends, more about norrie, about everyone else. shes crying, hes crying, george is crying. theyre all crying and drinking tea. leni (crystal castles vs goodbooks) - goodbooks, crystal castles mmm yes i sense yet another lucy panic attack in the shower after a rough job where lockwood put himself in direct danger once again. iris - the goo goo dolls oh my GODDD ITS SO LOCKWOOD 'id give up forever to touch you' WITH HIS LITTLE 'forever is composed of nows' ON THE THINKING CLOTH PLEASE LUCY MEANS SO MUCH TO HIM. brazil - declan mckenna them being Teenagers TM beach episode edition just imagine them all playing in the water at a nice beach on vacation (obv they arent still in the uk bc their beaches are Sad but like they went somewhere with nice beaches for a well deserved vacation. does london fall to shit without them? probably!! do they care? no!!). jesus this is such a ridiculously long series i am so so sorry go to part 4!!

[suna-reversed]

HQ boys as Taylor Swift songs-folklore

characters- Oikawa (exile), Atsumu (my tears ricochet), Meian (illicit affairs)

tags/warnings- ANGST, breakup, heartbreak, cheating, mentions of alcohol, manipulative behaviour, fluff in Meian’s if you squint

suggestions for pt2 would be appreciated (currently thinking of cardigan with Bokuto and hoax with Tsukishima)

Oikawa

“I can see you standin', honey

With his arms around your body

Laughin' but the joke's not funny at all”

He had told himself over and over again to not look; in the flight, in the ride to the hotel, even as he passed the entrance gates of the exquisite banquet hall where the reunion was being held. All he had to do was keep his eyes away. 

But you were here, and he had never been good at withstanding the cosmic pull you always held. Even if you were in the arms of another, laughing like you always used to, with him. 

I think I've seen this film before

And I didn't like the ending

“What changed, Tooru?” Your eyes were red and puffy, you had exhausted all your tears while he simply stood in the corner and watched. 

“This isn’t going to work out y/n. We’re both miles away, with different lives, in different time zones, around different people; we can’t have a relationship built on nothi-” He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose,  “...I’m saving both of us from the pain that would come with splitting a few years down the line.” 

“Do you still love me?”

Oikawa was familiar with the grief that came with loss; the grief of giving something every single bit of your soul, only to come out empty-handed and wounded. 

“Go back home, y/n.”

You're not my homeland anymore

So what am I defendin' now?

You were my town

Now I'm in exile seein' you out

Perhaps he had damned himself to ruination. Given up without a fight. But that didn’t matter now. 

You look ethereal, with stars in your eyes and glee in your smile. It doesn’t matter if he’s not the one behind it. You would have been a shell of who you are right now if you had stayed with him anyways. 

He turns around, heading for exit.

Just one last time. He promises himself. His lips curve upwards into a bittersweet smile as he turns around to get his last look. Instead, he finds himself staring into the expanse of an entire galaxy. A cosmic explosion coming his way as the floor shifts from beneath him. 

No, you definitely don’t sound the same.

How long has it been since he heard that voice?

“Not even gonna say goodbye before you leave Oikawa?”

What happened to your precious “Tooru”?

Atsumu

Even on my worst day, did I deserve, babe

All the hell you gave me?

The clock reads 01:27 am. You’ve been sitting on the couch for the past 3 hours, the untouched dinner on the table gone cold long ago. You hear the sound of a door slamming shut, hushed footsteps making their way towards the center of the apartment, coming to a halt at the sight of you.

“Why are you still awake?” 

“You promised we’d have dinner together tonight.”

“Listen, it got late at practice, you could’ve just eaten without me.”

“You could’ve at least dropped a text.” You murmur, trying to keep your voice from breaking. This wasn’t the first time he had stood you up.

“It’s not that big of a deal y/n. You realise how important the upcoming match is to me, don’t you?” He sighs, shaking his head in disappointment, “Let’s just go to bed okay, I’m tired.” 

“Okay.” You mutter, loosening your grip on the 2 year anniversary gift hidden below the couch cushion. A platinum ring with yours and Atsumu’s initials carved on the inside.  

You wear the same jewels that I gave you

As you bury me

Atsumu’s vision is blurry, shirt drenched in sweat, his head pounding as he’s pushed against the wall. He doesn’t know whether it’s from the screaming match he just had with you, or from the two bottles he chugged at a shady bar right after he walked out. 

All that matters right now is the feeling of the hands of the girl that’s kissing his jaw. The same spot where you had pressed a chaste kiss not too long ago as you told him that you were going to leave- 

No, he’s not going to think about it. All that matters is the touch of skin against skin, filling in the void you caused as he kneads the supple flesh of her thigh with his hand. The same hand that bore a platinum ring, the letters engraved inside of it now fatuous and futile. 

You had to kill me, but it killed you just the same

Cursing my name, wishing I stayed

You turned into your worst fears

No, no, no. 

Why are you here?

Why are you back?

“I had hoped we could talk-” You take a deep breath, feet stuck in place as you lay your eyes upon the marks littering his jaw, his neck, going much farther down-

A sob comes out from deep inside your chest. 

No, no, no. 

He’s looking at you, your crestfallen face, tears falling off of it like british showers. 

He’s acting before he can think, falling to his knees, grabbing onto your waist as you try to walk out. 

“No! Angel, please just let me explain. I thought you were never coming back- I would've never-”

“Never what Atsumu?!” Your voice is louder than you expected it to be. 

“Never what? A single fight is all it takes for you to discard everything we ever had? For you to step over everything I put into a relationship that has barely even existed for so long!” 

He’s never heard you shout before. But it's okay, it’s okay if you shout at him, if you break a few things, hell you can wreck his whole apartment if it means that you’re staying for even just a moment longer. 

But you’re not. You’re pushing him away, movements stern, as you try to make your way to the door. All he can do is cling onto you, crying your name over and over again as he racks his brain for a way to make you stay. 

Why was it always you who knew what to say when it came to fixing things?

Meian 

Make sure nobody sees you leave

Hood over your head

Keep your eyes down

Tell your friends you're out for a run

You'll be flushed when you return

You knew there were aspects of his life he had no control over. After all, he was watched by thousands of eyes everyday; the star player, the golden boy; the captain of MSBY. So how does it matter if you had to go a mile extra to hide what you had?

You loved who he was as a person and how he made you feel. Good-morning and goodnight texts, warm cuddles after matches, dancing in the kitchen to songs you don’t know the name of, late night drives to get takeout or go stargazing, laughing till you were on the floor crying. You loved him so much.

And that's the thing about illicit affairs

And clandestine meetings

And stolen stares

They show their truth one single time

But they lie, and they lie, and they lie

A billion little times

“Volleyball player Meian Shugo spotted with a blonde beauty at the MSBY vs Adlers afterparty. Could she be his rumoured girlfriend that we’ve been kept in the dark about all along? Read more for exclusive deta-”

You can’t shed a single tear staring at the cover of the magazine. Not because your heart hasn't just been ripped out of your chest, but because you’re in public, standing in line at the grocery store picking up snacks for you and...Meian. 

Why did you not see this coming? What hurt more was that you knew the girl. Meian had introduced you to her as a friend, and her as his social media manager. So this was clearly a misunderstanding right? It had to be. Despite telling yourself that over and over again, you still couldn’t get the picture of his arm wrapped around her waist and the smile etched onto his face out of your mind as you drove home, tears blurring your vision.

Don't call me kid

Don't call me baby

Look at this godforsaken mess that you made me

“Baby please listen to me-”

You’re sitting on the edge of the couch. You don’t know how long ago you stopped screaming, how long ago the anger dissipated and the rage turned into silent sobs, leaving behind a gaping hollow feeling in your chest. 

You feel him shift closer to you but you don’t at him, still sniffing, your head buried in your arms. 

“She was at the party because she’s our manager, you know Jessi-”

“Don’t say her name.” you hiss out. 

“I wish I never met you, I wish I never got into this stupid arrangement. I wish-” You’re rambling now, sobs escaping between every few words as you try to comprehend the situation, “I hate this. I hate you.” 

Heavy silence hangs in the room. 

And you know damn well

For you I would ruin myself

A million little times

You find arms being wrapped around you and your head being pulled into a warm chest. You try to fight at first, but you’re tired; your throat hurts, your eyes burn and everything feels so cold, so you let yourself guiltily fall into his comfort, pathetically sobbing into his neck.

He patiently waits for your sobs to quiet down, one hand rubbing gentle circles onto your back while the other cradles the back of your head.

“She was at the party with the whole team and the publicist used it as a way to create gossip. That’s all there is to it. I had not given my consent for them to go ahead with this, but they refused to make our relationship public. Apparently, they didn’t think that the age gap between us would reflect well on my reputation.” 

Meian’s heart breaks at the sound that leaves you as he says that, your hand gripping onto the fabric of his shirt as you start sniffing once more. 

“I don’t care about what they say princess, you know that.” He kisses the top of your head, pulling you even closer to himself as if he could absorb the pain from you. 

“I’m so sorry, give me another chance please. I didn’t tell you because I knew it’d hurt you. I promise I’ll make it up to you, please?” 

You look up at him. His eyes are filled with tender love and pure adoration, it makes your heart melt. You nod, burying your face into the crook of his neck. Of course you would, he's your precious Meian, you’d always forgive him. Why did you ever think he’d do anything to hurt you?

Meian smiles into your hair, ignoring the sound of the notification popping up on the phone kept on the table, 

Jessica: hey, we're still on for tonight right ? ;)

[tare-anime]

SxF Chapter 49

(Beware spoilers)

We're almost 50 chapters!! Wohoooo 🥰

Still.... after the ending of chp 48, I have no clues at all of how the story in this chapter will go.

Thus, I am not prepared at all, when Endo slapped me with this much angst 🥲

I mean, I love hurt/comfort. But this chapter is all about hurt without comfort (yet)... I'm....🥲

Ahem. Okay, let's see the lighter part of this chapter first.

Anya being worried for her mom's safety is sooo cute!! She really tried her best, but after playing all day, she got sleepy.

And day by day, she started to took her parent's trait, I found that cute 🥰

Like mother, like daughter.... LOL

On Loid's side.... a bit of TwiYor content here. Loid really misses his wife. Especially, since he had to watch over Anya all day long, and he got really tired from doing so.

Now you understand how Yor feels when you went all around town for your mission, eh???

I can't wait to see his expression when he reunited with Yor 🥰

(The rest will go under the cut, because this is a loooooonnngggg post.)

Now unto the villains...

It looks like Steve Jobs is a sniffing freak! That's one scary ability there..... yet, that ability could become a weakness too. But by the his inner monologue... apparently this man was one of those who responsible in eliminating the Gretchers. Which means, he's one formidable enemy. The "boss enemy" of this arc.

I am both excited and terrified in anticipating the match between him and Yor 🥶

But, I say, the most terrifying enemy is the "evil Frankie". Informants always works in the shadow. Made them those with higher chance of survivals, and yet they held the important things/cards in their hands. With enough strategy, they will able to use it to evil deeds. Scary. And just look at this. He already prepared to save himself, should things went south.

Now, on the lighter note...

Soft boy detected!

Furseal, whose real name turn out to be Zab, already admired Olka for a long time!! Awww... and he even noticed how distressed Olka (and the baby) are, and thus take action to be the goofy one, so that they could relax a bit.

Olka knows this, which made her commented that he’s a nice guy. 

Awww.... I just hope.... really hope.... Zeb didn't die protecting Olka. After what had happened to Olka, I want her to at least has someone she could rely on, someone that will not betrayed her under any circumstances. That person being Zab here. (Please Endo....hear my praaayy....)

From his backstory, however.... now we get a timeline. We are currently around 10 years after the war.

And that apparently the Gretchers were not at the same side with the current government, despite their enormous power. Which might be one of the reasons why they're eliminated. The government needs their resource for weaponry, but they refused to cooperate. Thus they're eliminated.

This made me think.....

The Gretchers are friends with Garden. Garden was said to serve the shadow government. And in that term, Garden might also be at the side who don't want any war....

Which means.... Garden and WISE might be at the same side!!

I really hope so.

That means we have a possibility of Loid and Yor doing join mission, buuuuttt then we might have a Yor vs Yuri??? (Okay, I'll stop here)

Continue to Garden member. I am awed by McMahon.

He is one awesome character!! By the way he act here, we can conclude that he is one with enough experiences. Good one and bad ones. He might had seen so many things in this world, thus he understand the nature of human beings. Him being the soldier who would do things necessary for his country? Ugh... total badass!! And unlike Yor, he knows how to use different type of weapons. Fire weapon, close range weapon, throwing weapons.... wow!! wow!!

And once again, I got the feeling that he’s Yor’s mentor. He knows when to scold her (forgeting the knocking code?? Yor!! Don’t be too nervous!), but he also acknowledge her as one of the strongest assassins in Garden.

Btw, somehow I got the feeling that McMahon is there to watch over Yor too. He seems like the loyal butler of Shopkeeper. And Yor is the princess (Shopkeeper’s daughter). And thus Mc Mahon is responsible of her safety too. I mean, look at him. Cleaning after the mess, preparing them food, smoothing their cover story, and for the night, he asked “the three of them” (Yor included) to ‘rest’ while he ‘cleaned’ the enemies. 

He really got the ‘loyal butler’ and ‘mentor’ vibes here.

Now aside from Furseal, I am also afraid that he might die in doing what he has to do (protecting Yor). 

Uuuhh but please Endooo!! If you want to kill someone, let it be Steve Jobs!! pleaseeee!!! 

(btw, could we have McMahon at the cover of the 8th volume?? but we haven’t even got Handler yet!!)

Leave it to Endo, to make this supposedly warm panels, hurts so so so sosooooooo muccch T.T

Now, the last but not least, the source of this chapter’s angst...

Yor... oh my dear Yor...

She’s so afraid of getting hurt because she thought it might hindered her to return to the Forgers. She was reminded that the Forgers are just ‘fake’ family. 

Yor is a simple person. All this time, she do whatever she has to do, doing all the dirty jobs, all for one purpose: Raising Yuri.

Now that Yuri had able to stand on his own two feet, suddenly Yor felt lost. And for the first time, she also has wants. Yor wants something, that is to be loved by a family. Yet she felt that she isn’t allowed to have what she wants. Ugh!! 

Not having a goal in her live, currently doing an unusual job, and now she also wants to be with the Forgers but she felt she wasn’t appropriate in doing so....  And by sitting alone in the dark quiet room, her mind wanders: She felt lost and she is depressed T.T  (and my heart breaks!!)

But by the next chapters, I hope she realized, that the Forgers are not ‘fake’. At least, Anya really see her as the mother. Anya needs her. And that getting hurt to protect her family is worth it. (I have a feelings that Yor might get hurt in protecting Anya, who in her own way tries to help, but the kid didn’t realized that these assassins are dangerous.)

So, all in all, this chapter really make me feels.... (still a wonderful chapter though!)

In next chapter I think we’re finally entering the climax of this arc (the countdown begin!).... I can’t wait! 

[ithinkilikeit-reactions]

NCT 127 “They realise they love you”

NCT 127 masterlist                                              Group Masterlist

Not requested, but I needed some fluff in my life ♥ 

Taeil: 

(I’ve been so attracted to Taeil lately) 

It started off with simply sitting in the same room and listening to music as you both worked on your computers. But it progressed quickly, singing along to the random tunes on the radio. Moving on to standing and dancing around to them, quite horribly. 

Grabbing onto Taeil’s hand and spinning into his chest, making him laugh. You couldn’t help but do the same as you wrapped your arms around his neck. Taeil tucked his face into neck and started swaying you back forth, slow dancing to fast music because you could. 

Taeil realised he could be as weird as he wanted with you and that you were just as weird him and he loved you for it. 

Johnny:

(I am mad that this hoody is not in my posession) 

Walking between the aisles, Johnny was looking for you attentively after he found the drinks he was looking for. He spotted you in an aisle, standing on your toes and reaching for something on the top shelf. You were just too short to reach. 

“Need help?” He asked, placing his drinks in your shopping cart. “That would be great.” You answered, smiling at him. He reciprocated a cheeky smile before crossing his arms. “Hmmm, tell me that I’m the best man in the world first.” You snorted at his words, needing to stifle a laugh. “You know what, I got it.” You told him, placing your feet on the lower shelves to reach the item you needed. Jumping down with it in your hands, you shook it at him triumphantly making him laugh. 

You weren’t shy to put him in his place with his bad jokes when you needed too and you were completely dependant on him, it made him absolutely love you. 

Taeyong: 

“It’s going to be a late night again.” Those seemed to be the words you had been hearing a lot lately, but it didn’t bother you. You were understanding that his job wasn’t like a regular 9-5 job, you knew that when you said you would date him. This time wasn’t any different for you, you accepted it and simply watched your show until you were tired. 

However it was diferent for Taeyong this time, he felt guilty for not being there and it was evident when he came home to find you simply watching your show. Taeyong walked over to you and hugged you tightly, catching you off guard. “Thank you for always understanding when I need to work. Thank you.” He felt the need to tell you, even if it was out of the blue. 

He realised every time he came home to find you still there, he loved you. He loved that you understood and that you never blamed him for his schedule. 

Yuta:

Yuta was feeling the need to be productive, tidying up the house slightly and doing some of the general housework while you were out. But when he got to your room, he found some interesting reading material. It was all about Japan, recipes, popular things to do, important culture information. This was normal, but what stood out to him were the sticky notes placed on the pages. Places he had mentioned being fun and food he had mentioned being good had little notes written by them. 

“Oh you found my book.” You remarked, looking at him from the door frame. “Yeah, what are all these notes?” Yuta asked with a smile. You moved to sit down by him and took the book from his hands. “These are places you have talked about, things you said you enjoyed doing and eating. Because well, I want to learn about what you love and what you enjoyed doing and stuff we can do and try together in the future.” Your words made Yuta smile even wider. 

You wanted to know about his interest, you cared enough to study on these things and make future plans. He loved you for it. 

Doyoung: 

The little projector in his room was perfect for movie dates, broadcasting your movie onto his wall as you both laid in bed and watched. Doyoung’s commentary was witty, the movie not really being that good... quite bad actually and deserving some harsh commentary. 

There was a lul in the film, making you slip your hands under the hoodie he was wearing, not for any other reason than he was nice and warm. Doyoung knew that and accepted your touch. “This acting is so-” He stopped midsentence once he looked at you. Seeing that all you needed was his body heat to get you to fall asleep. His lips curled up into a smile and wrapped his arms around you tightly. 

It was a small action of dependency on your end but it made Doyoung’s heart swell. He loved that you were started to depend on him, because well, he was depending on you too. 

Jaehyun: 

The record store had music playing softly in the background when you both entered. It really had a nostalgic feeling, old records filling the racks and old band posters lining the walls. You both spread out through the store, taking your time to look at records and cd’s. You were great at spending time together but not necessarily needing to be right next to each other. 

Jaehyun looked at you from across the store, simply watching you flip through the records with a little smile on your face. You looked up and locked eyes with him, waving softly once you noticed he was staring. Jaehyun laughed to himself and looked away, only to find himself staring at you once again. This time you were oblivious to it and simply flipping through cd’s. 

You always caught his attention, you were effortlessly beautiful to him even doing the bare minimum. It was something he loved about you. 

Winwin/Sicheng: 

Sicheng had noticed you had been studying something over the course of the last few weeks. That your nose was stuck in your books and it was clearly a subject you were interested in. one day, curiousity got the better of him and he couldn’t help but flip through your study books. 

“Why didn’t you tell me you were learning Chinese?” Sicheng asked you, holding your books. “I was going to surprise you. I know you’re more comfortable speaking Chinese and I want you to be completely comfortable with me.” You said softly and you could see his ears turning red. “That- I- I want to help you then! Be your teacher!” He stuttered, trying to hide how happy it made him. 

You wanted him to be incredibly comfortable with him, you wanted to be able to communicate on the fullest level and it was something he really cherished. 

Jungwoo: 

“Shhh you don’t want to wake anyone up.” You said, looking at Jungwoo’s face as you tiptoed through the dorm. “You shhh, this was your idea.” He laughed and you raised your fingers to your lips, trying to stifle your own laughter. You both made it to the kitchen and turned the lights on. Jungwoo went to the fridge and opened it quite agressively, a bottle of juice rolling out and hitting the floor with a loud thud. 

You both couldn’t hold back your laughter anymore, your adventure for a midnight snack being nothing short of a disaster and comical. Jungwoo grabbed what he was originally looking for from the fridge and handed it to you to turn around. “What are you two doing?” Taeyong asked, arms crossed and staring at you both. “Nothing.” Jungwoo quickly said, brushing past the older male and sending you into giggles. Once you both reached his bedroom with your snack you broke out in a fit of laughter. 

Jungwoo looked at you as you settled in his room, still laughing. He loved that he could make some lighthearted trouble with you. He loved that he could laugh with you. 

Mark: 

You had been considering asking him for the longest time, but you knew Mark was very busy and probably didn���t have the time too. But you still wanted to learn, so you finally took the step. “Mark... can you teach me how to play the guitar?” You asked, holding his guitar by the neck gently. The question caught him off guard, making him look up at you with wide eyes. “I didn’t know you wanted to learn how to play.” Mark said, gesturing for you to sit by him.

“I’ve been wanting too, but you’ve just been so busy. I didn’t want you to feel like you needed too.” You explained, allowing the guitar to rest in your lap. Mark wrapped his arms around you after moving the guitar. “I mean I don’t need too, but I want too. It would be really fun to play together.” Mark said and you smiled not being able to contain your own excitement. “Ahh thank you!” You hugged him tightly, making him turn pink. 

He loved how excited you got over small things and how eager you were to learn something new. It was just so endearing to Mark. 

Haechan/Donghyuk: 

You had both made yourselves comfortable, laptops and gaming computer ready to go. It was you and Donghyuk vs. Johnny and Jaehyun and you were both not planning on losing. “Y/N’s like impossible to kill!” Johnny said in frustration and you simply laughed, bouncing around the map happily. Donghyuk laughed, taking out Jaehyun as you swiftly did the same to Johnny. 

“There we go! That’s my baby!” Donghyuk cheered, knowing that the fact that you two won meant that you wouldn’t have to pay for snacks that night. Annoyed, the two older guys left to go pick up the order while muttering things under their breath. “I keep telling them to stop challenging us as a duo, but they don’t learn.” You said, settling into Donghyuk’s bed. He joined you with a small laugh and rested his head on your chest. “You’re right, we’re just too good.” You both laughed and allowed your fingers to toy with his hair. 

In that moment he realised that you and him had so much in common, even in teasing it made him realise he was head over heels for you. 

[mermaidsirennikita]

Regarding your post about Yuzuru and Nathan:

NBC talks about this HUGE rivalry between those two to the point where they don’t even stand each other. When it’s the contrary, those two have immense amounts of respect for one another and the media doesn’t portray that friendship. I didn’t even know Nathan said some incredible things about Yuzu after the short program because NBC didn’t show that. Also Johnny Weir and Tara being the biggest hypocrites ever, they spent almost all night hyping up Yuzuru, the moment he made a mistake they switched on him (they’ve done it with others as well). And yes they way they portray Yuzuru as basically being wrong for being more flamboyant when you have Johnny a gay man on your commentary team is disgusting. I had to watch the stream with no commentary on Peacock, I got so tired of those 3 talking.

Completely agree. Cards on the table, as I'm sure anyone could tell based off my posts, I am a Yuzuru fan. I prefer his style, I think he's probably the GOAT (or in contention to be the GOAT), he seems like a nice person, and I was devastated by the short program. But I also think that Nathan is an incredible skater, even if his approach and style is not my taste, and if he deserves the gold medal after his long program, he deserves the gold medal. (I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't rooting for Shoma to do something crazy and get it, but what can I say, I've loved Yuzu and Shoma for a while.). I don't think there's any ill will between Nathan and Yuzu. They're human, and I'm sure they can both get frustrated when things don't go their way, but they both work hard, they push each other, and they are great, great skaters. There's also, imo, a level of generational shit with regards to their skating? Yuzu is honestly getting to a point where even if everything works perfectly, Nathan is about 5 years younger than him, and in this sport that matters a lot. Yuzu brought the sport to a point where Nathan would be expected to reach a certain level to beat him--he broke through barriers that brought it to another level. In an ideal world, I'd always love to see a clean Yuzu vs. a clean Nathan but unfortunately that basically never happens lmao, and them's the breaks. In terms of sportsmanship, I've never seen anything truly unsportsmanly from Yuzu and Nathan towards each other, and that's the way it should be.

Now... Johnny and Tara lmao. Listen. NBC commentary is trash, and while I won't deny that Johnny and Tara have the technical credibility to be commentators, the way they approach commentary is awful. Sometimes I wonder if Johnny has a personal beef with Yuzu--I know that back in the day he made at least one costume for him, and I'm like ??? Did he not like your costumes??? What happened???

I actually love old videos of Johnny skating--I think he was incredible to watch. But it's a bit tainted now knowing that he's a part of this team pushing this narrative about what a male figure skater should be, when Johnny was instrumental in redefining, for many people, what a male figure skater should be. I'm not saying he has this moral obligation as a gay man, that's not on him. It's just hard to reconcile, I guess. In hindsight it does make sense as he was very "hmm hmm hmmmmmmm" silent about the controversy regarding gay athletes going to Russia during the Sochi Olympics (never mind him being a self-described ~Russophile~ and how that figured into it). I get the vibe that he's very about his bag first and principles second, which... whatever, that's his right, but when it plays into this fake rivalry and the gendered nature of it... I just don't love it.

The reality is that with a sport like skating... There's a lot of subjectiveness involved, and narrative pushing does matter. And at the end of the day, even when there is a big difference between the way two competitors performed one night because one made mistakes and the other didn't--you lose nothing by just... not being shitty about them. All of these people worked really fucking hard to get to where they are, and at the end of the day, all of them are eventually going to be retired and much of the impact they have on the sport will be determined by legacy. Nathan would be very unlikely to be where he is today if Yuzu hadn't gotten where he did before him, and Yuzu wouldn't have gotten where he is if Plushenko hadn't done that before him, and so on and so on and so on.

[ericmun]

210314 Shinhwa’s Eric and Dongwan’s Instagram Updates

Just a quick note as what might transpire this. There have been posts from fans pressuring about the lack of Shinhwa activities and Eric got the flak usual. One post in particular on the day before (Saturday night) that tagged all the members that probably why this happened, why he feels he’s been treated unfairly, as well as explaining why he had to go on SNS.

The clash between Eric and Dongwan is nothing new. It is mostly personality differences and ways of doing things. We are posting this because everyone has the right to understand what’s going on with a full and accurate translation (as accurate as possible) of how things went. Thanks so much 6crystalis for these long translation.

Eric’s 1st post:

I was keeping track quietly, but the problem is that the gap between internal affairs compared to external perception is too big, and so, there is constant conflict between the two. I thought if just leave it, it would slowly disappear by itself. Instead, the difference became so big, these was nowhere left to take a stand. I always thought that when it came to problems, the right thing to do was to dig it up by its roots and untangle it bit by bit; you shouldn't try to cover it up and pretend nothing happened. But in the end, I chose to listen to the opinions of different people and left it alone. One guy who always put group activities before all other work. Another guy who puts certain emphasis on solo activities, but during this period is emphasizing on Shinhwa activities. Although, it caused problems for group communication and schedules, but to fans, he is an intimate and gentle guy. Two people with different thought processes, so I've decided I need to go find and understand each person's differences. But everyone is too one-sided on who they are listening to, to the point that only support the one saying nice words to them, and cursing the condition of the person who is quietly working hard for the group. Isn't that too much? If the problem only stopped at supporting VS not supporting, it doesn't matter, but is it really necessary to go to the extremes of praising one side to high heavens and making personal attacks on the other? Right now, it's not 50/50, it's more than 90% of the people who think the latter's style is correct. Then that means everything I had been doing during that period is wrong. Just let me switch places with the later then, it's easy. But, can you put on some restraint, the group of people on DC? Aren't you tired? Stop gathering in groups in places I'm absent and discussing things that aren't set? If you want to talk about those things, then say it when you come join the group meeting. Didn't I already ask you guys (the members) 3 weeks ago about setting the schedule? If you actually want to resolve this, then let's talk. I have no way of contacting you, so I'll tag you, and I will also let Andy know. You'll invite me to tomorrow's live right? I'll be there.

Note: Eric tagged Dongwan for this post as seen in the photo

Source: muneric Translation: 6rystalis

Eric’s 2nd post:

Because I was afraid of causing conflict, I thought just leaving it would make it disappear, so I chose to say pretty words filled with hope that were false to make people happy and just leave everything. I think that’s just making me doenjang (superficial/full of BS)

Text on the chat:

ERIC: What time is the live tomorrow, Andy? ANDY: The time is not set yet, hyung. We'll set it after meeting with Dongwanie hyung tomorrow. ERIC: Can you tell him to invite me for tomorrow liveㅎㅎ ANDY: Okay ERIC: ㅋㅋㅋ ANDY: ㅋㅋㅋㅋ ERIC: I'm curious what he'll say ㅎㅎ No matter what he says, just forward it to me. I'll also adjust as needed. If it's really too convenient, then I'll think of a way to adjust it. ANDY: eung eung (yes yes)

Source: muneric Translation: 6rystalis

Dongwan’s post:

I am Kim Dongwan.

First of all, I feel very sorry for all the Shinhwa Changjo who got shocked.

Tomorrow, I will meet the members and have a good talk. Because it is internal affairs, we should discuss it among ourselves first.

The previous announcement about holding a live with Andy will go ahead as planned.

The conception of Shinhwa albums and concerts require the investment of a lot of manpower. This isn't completed by members on their own, or can be completed by just any member. To members, Shinhwa activities are very important and something they really look forward to. So, I have always taken into account the opinions of all six members, and after adjustments, produce a conclusion that is satisfying to all members.

Before getting this conclusion, other than the members' opinions, communication with the production team is also very important. It requires the polishing of time and opportunity.

Apart from the problem about contacting me... If we could've had a little bit of communication with the production team beginning last year, if we could've communicated so that they could feel at ease, then Shinhwa and Shinhwa Changjo wouldn't have had to encounter a situation like this... This is a point that I feel a bit regretful about.

We work hard together to be the Shinhwa that will paint a beautiful painting for Shinhwa Changjo.

Thank you, everyone.

Source: danedkim Translation: 6rystalis

Eric’s 3rd post:

Starting from 3pm, I had been asking Dongwannie and constantly checking with Andy for updates, but there was no answer at all about whether he was going to accept or reject my request to be there. Said it was because the production team couldn't contact me, so that's why they couldn't go forward with their work. Then let me tell you about my position. It started around "Sniper" activities? Around 2015-2021, he hasn't been in our group chat for 6 years; and after being blocked, I never got his new phone number. During the time I announced my marriage, because of "whether I let the members know I was getting married", I was being attacked. There was that brother that came out and loudly said, "Eric definitely has his own reasons~ Please understand~" Kept getting cursed or something. From the blank period in the military to album production in the years that followed, schedules and venues were booked one year in advance by me. I wouldn't know how to keep in contact with the production team? In those 6 years, I'm always telling everyone we should hold a meeting. Every time, the schedule is adjusted weeks in advance so that we can have this hard-earned chance to meet up. Even like that, we weren't able to see each other. There are too many times where there was no other way because of deadlines to just hold a meeting with 5 people.

Last year was the same. Again, I told the members that we should meet, everyone should open up some time in your schedule. And then the date was set, but on the day, we were stood up. The kind-hearted members were finally able to meet up after so much, but weren't even able to take a picture for proof before we separated. I was also really tired, so I suggested if it's hard to find time in your schedule, then let's use group chat to to figure things out, it'll be more convenient. I'm also really busy with work. Each time I have to adjust my schedule so we can meet, but if it gets cancelled on the day, I'll also feel really tired. Even so, he still refused to use group chat to discuss things. I'm also human. I thought, "We're in pandemic conditions and I still have dramas to film. If it continues like this, just leave it, stop pretending to be close." And so, at the end of last year, I stopped joining the group chat. But the root of the problem is here. In the 6 years that I have been doing all this, where I was constantly cursed, after I left group chat for a mere 3 months? Under the circumstances where I was absent, you had a meeting in a chat, in the way where you are comforting others and telling them to air out their raincoats? At that point, I couldn't hold it anymore. A few days ago, a Shinchang chat was established in Clubhouse. Like it was an official channel, you talked about things that members have never discussed or confirmed. There was even content that we haven't even heard of before. Yesterday, you said, "It wasn't you. It was because there are a few members who don't want to hold Shinhwa activities that these activities weren't confirmed in the end" ?

I'm not playing that despicable SNS where you can say things without leaving any evidence, talking about things that don't exist or politics where people criticize you. But to be different from being like that despicable SNS. I chose to leave a record of what I'm saying to be criticized. I guess it can be considered me saying what's on my mind. 6 years and 3 months. I'm too angry, so I suggested in the past that for 3 months, everyone should calm down on their own and think about what our things mean to us. If suggesting these 3 months is wrong, then I admit it, I apologize. But, in the post, it brought up the production team. I really want to ask, am I really the one affecting Shinhwa's schedule? Up until now, I've asked another members about this situation, yet I'm still unable to get a solid answer about whether you're accepting my arrival. Instead, you confirmed on Instagram that it's Eric and the production team's miscommunication that things couldn't be confirmed? I'm preparing to take a rest right now. I'm going to treat it as you rejecting to invite me to join you tomorrow. If members discuss things in the future and really want to make our dongsaeng, who's caught in the middle, uncomfortable, then just continue to do so. The person I wanted you to invite was me, so why are you replying to the fans? It would be great if I also had the ability to omit the main point and say words that sound nice to the ears. But, I'm also human. I apologize to everyone for having to listen to such tiring story.

Dongwan’s reply: I had a phone call with Andy around 6pm. I said that the 3 of us should meet and talk together. Perhaps he hasn’t told you yet.  I’m coming to Seoul tomorrow. We’ll talk face to face.

Source: muneric Translation: 6rystalis 

============================================================

Eric also did 2 more posts about the hate posts from Shinhwa DC Gall. We might translate it later if translator has time.

[fedonciadale]

Hey fedon! I just wanted to say that I find it so tiring these people who throw around the word hypocrite when it comes to shipping things like Darklina whilst being anti S@ns@n etc. You handled that anon very well and I'm always impressed by your level-headed replies. With Darklina, I've sort of grappled with why I find them so compelling, and your thoughts on fanon vs canon really helped me, and I agree that it is an important distinction to make. For instance, because of the narrative/character choices, I don't "ship" Darklina in the show so much as I ship a fanon what-if version of them, but that being said, I'm still drawn to them. If I was Alina's friend, I'd be all gurl RUN, but as a viewer, of course I want to see them on screen together again because Ben and Jessie's chemistry is so magnetic!

I was thinking of what exactly that dynamic/magnetism is comparable to and... well, I don't know if you listen to Fleetwood Mac, but for me it's akin to watching a live performance of a song like The Chain, which is about the breakdown of Stevie Nicks and Lindsey Buckingham's relationship (as is many of their songs). Their relationship was evidently not good, it was destructive and volatile, and I in no way would want what they had irl, but... I enjoy the music all the same, I love it in fact. Because when they perform, no offense to Mick Fleetwood, Christine and John McVie, everything else but them falls away and you become caught up in the way they are singing at each other, years after the fact, and you can still feel all that pain, love and burning chemistry. That's sort of how I felt watching Ben and Jessie in the tent scene — I wasn't thinking wow couple goals, in fact I was feeling Alina's hurt, but still I was thinking that when these two are in a scene together everything and everyone else just falls away. So, even though I'm getting into the other "healthier" ships more and more, at the end of the day... Darklina is The Chain for me in terms of complexity, how compelling it is, how powerful it is to me as a viewer, and it's not about me wanting them to be "together", it's just about how they make me feel when they are, in whatever way they are. I mean... just look at these lyrics:

Listen to the wind blow, watch the sun rise Running in the shadows, damn your love, damn your lies

And if you don't love me now You will never love me again I can still hear you saying You would never break the chain (Never break the chain)

[...]

Listen to the wind blow, down comes the night Running in the shadows, damn your love, damn your lies Break the silence, damn the dark, damn the light

I'm sorry but... that's show canon Darklina for me — elemental, deeply connected despite it all, passionate, fierce, volatile, painful, nothing I would want in real life but everything I find fascinating in fiction. By comparsion, I don't find relationships like S@ns@n equivalent to Darklina because at its core... there is no mutual attraction between the Hound and a literal child, there is no chemistry, there is no suggestion of (future) equality, there is just the problematic stuff. Now, Darklina is problematic for sure, but the strength of their connection hurts me in the feels because they could have been something different — "We could have had this. All of it. You could have made me your equal." By contrast, there is no explicit equivalence of feeling in the specifically asoiaf ships that angry anons throw about as comparable. They're not comparable (to me at least). But anyway, at the end of the day, what I always try to bear in mind when thinking about ships, and characters I like, is this famous Walt Whitman quote, from his poem Song of Myself:

Do I contradict myself? Very well then I contradict myself, (I am large, I contain multitudes.)

I think people in fandom, for all that we try to be conscious of real life issues and the impact of fiction... we often forget this fundamental truth that people can like seemingly contradictory things. People can like complex things and have equally complex emotions about them. That's just life and it's not something that needs to be lectured out of you! It's when people start reducing things to black and white binaries that there should be potential cause for concern. But also... fandom is for fun, so have fun people!

Anyway, sorry for this strange ramble, I'm just a bit reluctant to talk about Darklina on my own blog because the S+B fandom seems possibly more volitle that Stevie and Lindsey on cocaine at the height of making Rumours... and that's saying something, lmao.

Hi there!

Thanks for the heads up!

You know you can enjoy compelling storytelling and chemistry and that is something that might make you ship a couple!

When I first read the books I thought that Darklina was headed for disaster. I thought that Alina would get over Mal, that the Darkling would sacrifice himself for her and in an act of redemption to destroy the fold and save Alina and that Alina would marry Nikolai. Sigh!

Not a healthy ship but a compelling story. And we can like compelling stories.

I actually think that Sans@n might be headed that way : it might end with his sacrifice but without the element of reluctant attraction that is there with Darklina.

Anyway, I like this sort of chemistry. I loved all the times President Snow and Katniss Everdeen were on the screen together. A connection between the characters, something twisted but still they understand each other, compelling actors chemistry. I just loved to watch that (without shipping).

And I really like how compelling Darklina is in screen. You don't really want them together, or just in a tragic ending, but it's a good story.

That does not mean that I think they would be good for a HEA - not in canon.

I can like how Elizabeth Bennett almost falls for Wickham and I can still enjoy her getting with Darcy in the end.

Very often it is about the 'what if'.

I really think that the distinction between canon and fanon is important in that regard.

I ship these people with my headcanons as characters inspired by the canon is as valid as I ship these people because I like the dynamic/ find the dynamic compelling, even if I know it's toxic.

I think it is a bit problematic if people insist their headcanons are canon.

I've seen a bit of the SaB fandom around here and I think Darklina shippers do not claim that the Darkling is actually good.

It's different with Sans@n shippers (or at least the ones that come into my ask box). They insist that the H0und is good and that he is the best that could hapoen to Sansa. On this I will always disagree with them - at least when it comes to canon. If GRRM writes that ship (and I doubt that) it's not good for Sansa.

And yes, I agree I can like different dynamics in different ships. I can like enemies to lovers in one universe and I can think that Sansa would never love the enemy of her family in ASOIAF. Different worlds, different characters... What I can imagine for one character might be unthinkable for another. I can ship Hermione with Draco picturing him asking for forgiveness and I cannot fathom Sansa ever forgiving an enemy who is responsible for her father's death, like Littlefinger.

To me - and that's just my opinion - it is about how guilty these people are: Draco never killed anyone, he can be redeemed and live (preferably getting on this path on his own and then getting with Hermione), the Darkling can only die in the end but maybe after remorse? And in ASOIAF villains really should stay villains and not get a redemption via Sansa.

I really don't know why it is so difficult to understand that different characters and worlds also mean different shipping?

And apart from Jonsa I don't care about my ships being canon. Neither JKR nor Leigh Bardugo ever hooked me as much as GRRM. I can make my headcanons about the characters because I am just not that attached to their canon version. Both authors do not write completely consistent anyway - so it's easy to twist and experiment. With ASOIAF I cannot get behind any ship I cannot also picture in canon.

Thanks for the ask!

[tarantulas4davey]

HELLO BESTIE I am currently having Ralbert Brainrot and you're the best person go come to for this, obviously,, so PLEASE share! I would like to hear about ufc albert or youtuber race, or dancing partners!! I love them smm

HI YES HELLO USING THIS AS AN EXCUSE TO WRITE UFC FIGHTER AL PART 2 THANKS BABES

i just witnessed a literal crime and i’m Feeling The Rage (boxing judges at mma events can catch these hands) so here is. my brain on anger.

also the first half of this is pretty fight-talk heavy but the second half is more al/ralbert central so message me/send me an ask if i don’t explain something well enough <3

here is the ask i sent to @we-are-inevitable (thanks jac i’m in love with you mwah) and here is part 1 for this au if you haven’t read that one yet !!

also,,,,, this is fairly obvious. but trigger warning for violence/physical fighting, as well as blood. (it’s a rough gig y’all fjdhdb) oh and swearing but that’s pretty much just me LMAO

here i am, bein mad and writing ralbert. therapy time with chandler ig

OK SO

this is after his debut. duh. continuation

i think he’s probably 5 fights in with 5 wins. he’s been running people through, especially with four full camps after a short notice start, and he’s never even seen a decision in the ufc

let’s just say the hype train is moving FAST and it’s moving LOUD

everyone has to have those people that watch their fights just to see them lose, on top of the majority male fan base that have to have a little bit of toxic masculinity and homophobia in there

so there’s A LOT of people that are waiting for him and his hype train to get derailed. but there’s also a fair amount of fans, so you win some you lose some (the way i would die to see this be a real fighter pls)

now albert’s not always the most confident guy, and he’s never been cocky, but none of this shit gets to him. he’s got his coaches, he’s got his friends and he’s got race behind him. he knows he’s got the skills, and he’s got his support system, so who gives a shit what a bunch of cowards on the internet have to say?

and then they put him against someone known for his grappling and stamina. and the “it’s a wrap for dasilva!” bandwagon starts. it happens every time a rising striker and early knockout artist fights a well known grappler with any semblance of later round power (even if al has a background in wrestling and has gone 5 rounds and won outside of the ufc. it’s a bandwagon for a reason)

and it’s not Upsetting, it’s not really getting into his head in any way that’ll make him do worse, but it’s kinda pissing him off. which is bad for his opponent

the last person on earth you want to be fighting is an annoyed albert dasilva who thinks he has something to prove

he works his ass off in camp, and the press tour is a self-assured albert vs. a loudmouth who thinks he’s hot shit cause a few people on twitter think he’ll sweep

and, to be completely honest? it’s starting to look that way 2 rounds in.

it’s a 5 round fight, co-main event on a big card, and so far all al’s opponent has done is pinned him to the cage and kept him there. a few strikes worth anything - at least enough make al’s cheek bleed, no takedowns, which would at least give him some activity, and so submission attempts, so he can’t even gain any ground that way. he’s just- Stuck. and if THIS is how he loses, he’s gonna be pissed

the bell for the second round sounds, and you can actually see al’s chest heaving on camera as he walks to his corner - not because he’s tired or out of breath, but because he’s MAD, and fuck if he’s not going to do something about it

not only that, but he can not only see race and jack standing up by the cage - plus race’s expression, which is slightly annoyed and super anxious, which hurts his chest to think about - but he can hear them too

jack is yelling profanities, as per usual. he doesn’t that regardless of how the fight is going, but it’s less encouraging when you’re the one losing.

race though,,,, race isn’t really yelling, he’s more talking to himself than anything, but he’s close enough to cage and al knows him well enough to figure out what he’s saying. and if the muttered almost-prayers while he paces back and forth weren’t enough, the shiny gold engagement ring on race’s hand definitely is

round 3,,,, let’s just say it goes a little differently than the first 2 had gone.

he opens with a spinning back kick, of all fucking things, and that truly sets the pace

he’s the taller guy by a few inches, like usual, which makes his arms longer. the only reason crushing his against the cage worked is cause the guy he’s fighting cuts weight like a wrestler, so he’s easily got 20 pounds on albert come fight night

but once he finds his rhythm and starts throwing, he starts connecting too. he manages to stay out of range of his opponent and stay his comfortable distance to start t-ing off

this isn’t a one punch power ending. this isn’t a beautiful head kick, or a giant knee, or even just a clean right hook.

this is albert, who’s arms are starting to feel the 3rd round a little bit, hitting this guy with everything he has cause he refuses to lose this fight.

i mean- everyone watched him get up at the start of the round with a set jaw and a scary determined glint in his eye. he’s not a person you fuck with, and he’s definitely not a person you publicly ridicule before being locked in a cage to fight with

the guy he’s fighting is absolutely battered, but he manages to survive until round 4. the first of the championship rounds, something al’s never seen in a ufc fight before, and it feels like the arena is holding its breath

so when al comes out and does the same thing as round 3 to better results - fight ending results - everyone’s a little shocked, honestly

the commentary team’s in disbelief, cause albert is NOT a slow starter, regardless of what this fight would tell you, and the fact he managed a win at all, let alone such a phenomenal one, is fucking astounding

he gets his hand raised, obviously, but the really interesting part is the post fight interview

“albert, man, what changed between round 2 and 3? what second gear did you find?”

“bro, i just— it was pissing me off, honestly. i don’t come in here to get pinned down for 25 minutes. and, y’know, my team gave me good advice. i had all the pieces, straight from the jump, someone just had to force me to put them in place…”

and then he looks over at race, who gives al one of those half grin, half smirks and winks at him, and al just chuckles to himself and finishes answering the question

“the thing that really forced my hand is race. i won’t get cheesy on you, but watching someone who loves and supports you through everything panic cause he’s scared for you - it’s a big motivator. everyone would figure out a lot more of my motivations if they went and watched race’s expressions back instead of whatever the hell i’m doing in here. he’s always been the brains, i’m just the brawn.”

and that’s a better answer than anyone was expecting, plus he’s just had the fight of a lifetime that’s probably earned him a title shot, so he’s done soon after that and gets to have his little in-cage celebration

he hugs his team and jack, who razzes him a little bit as per usual, and makes some dumb quip about going over tapes later like he’s a coach. and then comes race

he hugs him, all tender and cute and also very sweaty cause That’s How It Works, and the camera’s focused on him, so they can tell they’re whispering back and forth. but there’s no mics on them, so what’s said is missed entirely on the audience, but it’s their usual cheesy, in love mess

“congrats, baby. i’m proud of you.”

“oh please. it was 90% you anyway. i meant what i said, it wasn’t just for the cameras.”

“i know that. i’m gonna have to get you back somehow for telling everyone to go back and watch my awful anxious expression. i’ll think of something.”

“i’m sure you will, sweetheart.”

and then al does that awful, adorable lil nose bump thing, and then kisses race. and then jack covers his eyes and whines until they stop like the actual 12 year old boy he is inside

and then they leave the octagon, race and al holding hands, and al throws his arm over jack’s shoulder and shoves his head down and pushes him, cause even though he was just in a literal cage match he’s still a roughhousing teenager at heart

and he’s got interviews and press shit that separates him from his people, and he’s gotta slide that bulletproof mask back down over all the happy and in love shit he’s feeling so he can not smile like an idiot on camera constantly

but every once in awhile he’ll catch jack giving him the finger and laugh before returning it below view of the camera

or he’ll catch race’s eye from where he’s standing behind all the studio lights and do a little wave under the camera and return the wink from earlier, and the unbothered fighter facade will crack a little bit

but he’s not completely convinced that’s such a bad thing

GOD THIS POST IS SO MUCH LONGER THEN I MEANT IT TO BE IM SORRY

but Yeah. Them.

i love this au a helleva lot more than i should but that’s Fine cause i’ve got thoughts for days on it

[ladyeliot]

Sergeant Barnes.

Superhero vs Villain!Reader Prompts

Request: @imerdwarf  Ooooh I love your prompt idea!! Could I request #6 with Bucky Barnes please? 💜

Prompt #6:  "Wait, are we supposed to be enemies?"

Pairing: Superhero!Soldier!Bucky Barnes x Villain!Fem!Reader

Summary: You joined the Strategic Scientific Reserve with the sole intention of avenging your father's death.

Warnings: Violence. 💔  Angst. II WW.

Word count: 1761

A/N:  Sorry for my spelling and grammatical mistakes, English is not my native language, I am learning.

The day a Colt 45 M1911 pistol was pointed at your face, you realised how long the journey to that moment had been. Events in your life had led you to become a Hydra agent, infiltrated as an agent of the Strategic Scientific Reserve, a top-secret US agency during World War II.

The world seemed to have gone mad, war was turning people upside down, people were fighting each other for the honour of their country, and you were in the middle of the chaos.

You were born in the United States, your father had dedicated his entire life to honouring his country, practically gave his life in World War I, and in 1940 he and Chester Phillips founded the Strategic Scientific Reserve. However, all his efforts were in vain when he was sent on a secret life-and-death mission, causing him never to return. Your father was the only thing you had in your life, your guide and your hero, so you wanted to follow in his footsteps, to make him proud of you. Chester Phillips took you under his wing, as his right hand. He was the one who instructed you, who taught you everything you know, who allowed you to complete your first missions as SSR agents and who opened your eyes.

The United States entered the Second World War in 1941. During your third mission in Europe, in which you were to enter the secret Hydra base, Arnim Zola and Johann Schmidt were waiting for your arrival. After hours of suffering, both physical and mental, they made you understand that the mission your father was sent on was a trap, set by Chester Phillips who wanted to take over the supreme command of the SSR. It all made sense to you, everything was connected, your father could not have made such a stupid mistake as the one you had been led to believe he had died for, it must have been a trap.

Having brainwashed you, HYDRA let you return to the United States. You arrived with an idea in mind, an idea that Schmidt himself had introduced to you and that made you change your attitude, thinking of your revenge.

You had been in Italy for two months, where the 107th Infantry Regiment, led by Chester Phillips, was based. The American soldiers were fighting continuous battles against the Germans, managing to extend the frontier line. They were exhausted, hardly had any rest and their spirits were gradually failing, but your thoughts were elsewhere, not far away.

During the little missions you had done in Europe, you had had the occasional encounter again with Johann Schmidt. His level of persuasion was unmatched by any other your mind had ever felt, and inside you let yourself be carried away by his words. No one in the SSR knew anything, no one in the camp had any inkling of the situation and that was a plus for you.

One morning like any other you emerged from Colonel Phillips' tent, having been lectured on the importance of discipline because of his morning moodiness, having encountered two soldiers who had broken the time regulations. You were on your way to the intelligence tent, where, together with the regimental superiors, you would begin to analyse the German army's progress through Italy, but, as it happened, Sergeant Barnes accosted you.

"Lieutenant," he said, coming to your side and giving you the rigorous salute.

"Sergeant," you replied without looking at him and quickening your pace. "I don't have time for your games Sergeant Barnes, I have a lot to do this morning."

Bucky let out a small laugh and continued to stand next to you, combing his hair back with his hands, trying to look as decent as possible in front of you.

"As you know, there's a screening of Casablanca tonight, and I was wondering if you'd like to join me," he said with a crooked smile on his face. "I can pick you up at 8.00 p.m. if that's all right, Lieutenant.

You stopped dead in your tracks and frowned as you turned to face him, Bucky pulled himself upright without removing the half-smile from his face.

"Are you asking me out on a date, Sergeant?" you asked authoritatively, causing the smile on your partner's face to fade.

"Uh..." he hesitated. "That's right lieutenant."

"I don't think it's appropriate for you to ask me out on a date, Sergeant," you said, crossing your arms.

"And why is that, Lieutenant?" he asked amused. "Wait, are we supposed to be enemies?"

You arched an eyebrow in response to his question, and with extreme straightness you inspected every part of the soldier in front of you, and could see the lack of decorum in his uniform.

"And do you plan to come looking for me with the shirt tails out, the gallons askew and the tie not buttoned properly?" you asked, arching your right eyebrow, but your words elicited another smile from Bucky.

"Of course not, my lieutenant," he lifted his chin as he licked his lips.

"All right," you said, nodding. "Don't be late Sergeant Barnes."

With those last words, you made your way towards the intelligence tent, listening to the applause and cheers that the other soldiers offered Sergeant Barnes for getting an affirmative answer from you. The relationship between you and James could be described as one of mutual interest, but much more explicitly on his part, for since your arrival at the camp there had hardly been a day when he had tried to get your attention, and although you did not show it, you liked it.

Over the next few hours you found that the German army was slowly retreating, just as Johann Schmidt had informed you. Your plan was only to get Chester Phillips to him, but you had no intention of anyone else getting hurt in your revenge.  

By late afternoon, the sun was low enough to enjoy the screening. The regiment had not been able to take a break for months and this was their first entertainment, so spirits were high. Your first thought was to put your uniform back on, it wouldn't do to go out without it, but you decided that a night was a night, and you needed to take a break too, even if it was only for a couple of hours at least. In your suitcase you found an evening dress, which you wore during your mission to the French capital, it was discreet, but perfect.

You were just finishing your hair when a voice was heard just outside your tent.

"Lieutenant Y/L/N?" exclaimed Sergeant Barnes' voice.

"I'll be right out Sergeant."

After taking a last look at yourself in a small hand mirror you took a deep breath and headed for the exit. As you pulled back the curtain James Barnes' blue eyes swept over your body, making a sweeping inspection and taking his breath away. You arched an eyebrow in recognition of the event, while at the same time downplaying it due to the situation you were in. You more subtly noticed that he looked completely different from that morning, his uniform was impeccable and there were no longer any locks on his face.

"You're..." his mouth was still open without providing any words.

"Shall we go, Sergeant?" you asked waiting for him to react.

"Of course, Lieutenant," he finally said offering you his arm but not taking his eyes off you. "You look really beautiful."

"Thank you, Sergeant," that was one of the few times you gave him a smile. "You're not bad yourself."

You were both heading towards the central esplanade of the camp, where the film had been set up to be shown. It all happened very quickly, the siren started to sound, the spotlights around the area flashed blinding you and countless shouts from the soldiers filled the air. You looked around you, it was an ambush, James pulled out a weapon he had on him and wrapped his arms around you. It didn't take you long to react, because you quickly pulled out a revolver you had hidden in the garter of your stockings and took aim, looking for a shot. Bucky looked at you a little surprised.

"Don't lose sight of the target, Sergeant," you said, taking him by the arm and hiding behind your tent.

The HYDRA soldiers were numerous, perhaps even double your numbers, and you had to take into account that you were unprepared for this abominable ambush. You pulled a knife from your cleavage and slit the back of your tent so that you could both quickly reach inside and grab the weapons you kept inside. Bucky had your back and you quickly made your way to the boot hidden under your desk.

"Don't you dare take another step," Sergeant Barnes' voice drifted towards the entrance door.

In front of you stood Johann Schmidt with his hands raised and a smile on his lips. 

"I see you have security," he said in a thick German accent. "But don't worry, she doesn't need it."

You stood up slowly and looked at him seriously.

"This is not what we had planned," you said hating yourself that Sergeant Barnes heard those words, making you known as a traitor.

"I was tired of waiting," Schmidt shrugged.

James, completely stunned and lost for words, didn't know what to do or which of the two of you to watch. 

"I told you I would hand you over to Colonel Phillips," you reminded Schmidt, filled with hatred inside you. 

"And I have come for him," he approached you.

"Then take him and go," you spat those words. 

"I will," he said, smiling, slowly walking past you, approaching Bucky.

You stood watching the situation, you knew you were lost, the power you possessed had fallen from your hands, you were in no man's land. James who all that time was pointing his gun at Johann Schmidt suddenly looked into your eyes and changed his aim, you had his gun pointed directly at your face. Your countenance did not change, you kept a serious look on your face, watching him. His hands were shaking and his breathing was rapid, he didn't know what to do. Schmidt looked amused as he watched the situation in silence. 

"Do what you have to do sergeant," you said, clenching your jaw tightly. "My mission is accomplished.

Tag list: @imerdwarf​ @mycosmicparadise​ 

Requests/Taglist Open (DM)

MAIN MASTERLIST

[seoafin]

Sooo i may or may not have become obsessed with the rip!verse (each of your posts make my day and white lighters what a delightful read, holy shit) and i have so many questions! (Pls ma'am... feed us... we need the high quality content you provide...)

1. What is reader's cursed technique? I remember toji saying she had potential upon (brutally) trying to kill her and her examining yuji to... idk, try to seal sukuna, but you've never explicitly said anyting and i am dying to know more (pls help)

2. We all know poor, poor Megumi suffers from the incessant pining between reader and gojo. But what about Yuji and Nobara? And the second years? Do they try to set them together, crossing out the ideas/plans they've already tried, becoming more and more desperate each time it inevitabely fails in the most improbable way? Or does gojo asks for their help?

3. And how could i not talk about the Shibuya Arc? (also known as "gege please for the love of god stop" arc) Where is reader? Did she manage to follow gojo abd watch the... incident unfold? Did she stay behind with Shoko? Did she go with the students? Did she join the kyoto school? How did she react upon learning that gojo was chillin' in his lil cube while the whole world was going to hell? (And did she see Getwo??? What was her reaction??? I have whole scene in mind and am now itching to write it down although i must sleep?? Why??)

(Yep, the rip!verse leaves rent free in my mind. Not that i complain though. It never ceases to amaze me no matter how many times i read it. Plus it inspires me for my own writing so *bows* thank you so much for creating such a bloody brilliant masterpiece! Have a lovely night/day!)

THIS ASK??? Hxhsbndnd i’m so glad you like the ripverse!!

prepare for an info dump + general information on rip!mc which I probably should have typed out/ elaborated on earlier LOL

1)

honestly i'm still working out the details but it's probably going to be something along the lines of the ability to suspend time for a person/object with certain conditions that must be met. but once they're met you can hold it for as long as you wish. It’s not exactly an offensive cursed technique, but deadly if utilized properly! it also comes in handy when trying to study curses!

rip!mc is a historian/researcher who classifies curses which is a fascination which was born after geto left. weirdly, it helps you feel closer to him. your research takes you around the country, and even abroad some times (which gojo despises), but you’re more than well equipped to defend yourself. you trained maki with the polearm!!

I also like the idea of them occasionally teaching as an adjunct professor at Tokyo University (grad student MC ftw), so they know what it’s like to be a teacher, although it’s not exactly the same! the semesters you do teach—you occasionally stay with gojo

the reason why toji said that is bc rip!mc caught toji's eye a split second before he stabbed gojo. since you’re very very sensitive to cursed energy and by default, other people, the pure absence of cursed energy made you instinctively turn. toji was referring to the fact that if you honed your skill a little more, you maybe would have even sensed him!

also the reason why rip!mc is more sensitive to cursed energy than gojo is because he probably automatically filters out the sheer number different cursed energies (since the sensory overload would be crazy while rip!mc never really learned to do that and as a result became more attuned to cursed energies in general)

Also more about the cursed seals! Rip!mc is exceptionally good at making seals because of how sensitive they are to cursed energy. In harmonious, you had to gauge sukuna’s overall (at the time) power in order feel out whether or not you could make a good enough seal (the higher ups requested it) to contain sukuna.

2)

Everyone is tired of gojo’s pining. And suspicious at how oddly ignorant you are. When gojo makes himself at home on your lap in the middle of a meeting for the umpteenth time, and you’re completely unfazed, everyone’s like?????

It kinda goes back to how rip!mc refuses relationships because she knows she’s going to die (hazards of the job), and she’s afraid of leaving a lover behind more than anything (childhood trauma. involves parents), and in her head, friends and lovers are two distinctly different things (they really aren’t). Getting over a friend's death is different from getting over a lover’s death (once again, not really, who’s going to tell her???)

And gojo, for as much as he lacks boundaries (ie; has none) tries to accommodate it the best he can although you’ve always been his. shoko always tells gojo that (like always when it comes to rip!mc) he’s jumping the gun, but he shoots her with finger guns and says that he has no idea what she’s talking about :)

Maybe the reason why you’re never home is because you doesn’t want to confront your feelings haha

When it comes to the nosy students. Nobara likes you but can’t fathom gojo in a relationship. Yuji automatically assumes you and gojo are dating. Maki thinks that you can do so much better than that idiot. Panda thinks it’s cute. Inumaki: Salmon. Yuta sees the way gojo “looks” at you but thinks he’s overthinking it, and doesn’t want to say anything.

Megumi, on the other hand, tells everyone to leave it since he’s a bit protective over rip!mc.

3

You’re not the only one!! I’ve gotten messages on ao3 asking about the shibuya arc LOL 😭

the reader was called back from Okinawa as backup and reached tokyo as soon as gojo entered the curtain. he texted her saying not to worry (haha). They entered with shoko and yaga to protect her and the patients. And when she hears that gojo’s been sealed, she’s completely bewildered. Gojo can take care of himself wherever he is, she’s more worried about the students than him tbh LOL (gojo is definitely going to whine about that later)

When megumi’s dropped off by yuji (ugh!!!) this is where it could go either way.

1) Shoko sees how worried you are about yuji, whose cursed energy you picked up before he ran away, and tells you to go. You find him but he runs away from you. If this happened I could see a getwo reunion (I’m hurt, did you already forget my face?) where getwo reaches out to touch your hair and gets stopped by surprise, surprise, original geto deep inside. Cue some more body vs soul philosophical talking points before you eventually meet up with the kyoto gang AND utahime!!!

2) Stay with shoko. Eventually get called to the Kyoto group.

Meanwhile inside the prison realm gojo is playing with a ring the size of your ring finger (how he got the measurement nobody knows)

[bisexualoftheblade-old]

how many wips do you have? like what are they all, and not the number of wips in a fandom? what are all the names?

okay. fuck you. fuck you so much. fuck you.

i’m putting this under a read more cut no one else deserves to see this shit. a lot of these are requests, and for those i will just write out the request itself

Shadowhunters:

domestic polycule fluff with tem, jessa, and will because im not a coward

Supernatural

- hehe hoho i request destiel hehehe

- request 61/? cai cai cai cai i need you to rewrite the destiel scene but yk. GOOD. not like i'm in the know about the spn fandom or anything, it's been years for me. but DO IT

Bright Sessions

- caleb/adam grisha AU

- mark bryant vs. united states aka sue the AM

- caleb/adam college fluff

Umbrella Acaademy

- request 31/? i want a ben and klaus drabble please spare me some brotherly bickering

- AND SO BEGINS NIGHT 4 with request 13/? oooh oooh can i get a raymond and allison playlist??? i think their vibes together would SLAP

- hi there night 2 is technically morning 3 but who's counting not me anyway request 5/? can i get a ben moodboard? gotta rep my tua bb

Percy Jackson

- request 9/? can i get a percabeth moodboard or quote edit?? like god they're the og couple goals take me back to high school cai

- For the 100 follower things :D Jercy getting caught in the rain

- request 29/? a drabble about literally anything to do with pjo. i’ll be happy with anyone and anything i’m love these children

- *somersaults in like I’m a real fancy acrobat* hello ello ello may I request some camp half blood chaos possible involving *does a flip* ✨side characters✨ <3

Penumbra Podcast 

- request 52/? drabble about the penumbra podcast. this is for ren bc ren likes it and i don't actually know anything about it. juno? i think? that's the one ren likes. write it for ren

- Tpp ghost hunting / buzzfeed unsolved au

- sad juno smut

- final resting place fic go brrrr

Marvel

- request 6/? i'm going to my roots y'all can i get a spider-man playlist? if not a playlist then i'd honestly be happy with literally anything involving spider-man

- request 15/? i'm going crazy this is recorded evidence of me actually losing it ANYWAY can i get a quote edit for something from iron man? literally anything that man says is gold so cai's choice :D he deserved better in endgame i'm still bitter

- request 42/? do another spidey thing that differs from the other spidey thing

- request 73/? you have Opinions. rant about infinity way and/or endgame. go.

- request 74/? quote edit for deadpool!!

- spideytorch relationship character study

- peter parker as a tired grad student monitoring the young avengers (send help)

Six of Crows

- okay listen i wasn't going to request anything bc i worry about you but also? if you want to/have the time hit me with a playlist for our girl nina zenik

- request 43/? fuckin give me the ending anya should have had. she is alive and with her new son and having a great time

- request 45/? inej moodboard?

- request 47/? will you make literally any meme of your choosing for six of crows?

- request 48/? write a drabble for kaz, my favorite bastard

- okay so i don't actually like nina or mattias that much but i still wanna hear about your thoughts (and also see if you'll change my mind)

- kaz brekker turning 18 fic. birthday party, everyone singing, whole shebang. i need it stat

- religious trauma fic aka i started shipping kaz/alina/inej and i can’t stop

- kaz trauma soup (he has D.I.D. and you can’t prove me wrong)

- my two redacted fics for @grishaversebigbang​

- wesper fake dating

- six of crows bright sessions crossover: everyone gets therapy

TMA

- uhh... s1 gang having a nice time? melanie getting to have some Pride™️? some "fun" horror thing?

- request 7/? spare steph and jason bonding? please sir? spare some for a humble child such as myself?

- okay so this was meant for night 3 but i had midterm shit SO this is honorary night 3 let's DO THIS request 8/? i want a moodboard of extremely out of context magnus archives shit like i mean confuse the FUCK out of me i don't go here i know Nothing about it

- request 11/? OKAY so i need tim stoker meeting tim drake now i need my timmy to meet your tim plus i want to see character differences no i'm not trying to create a tim stoker in my head so i can read a's fic while NOT thinking of tim drake whaaaaaat you're crazy

- request 18(i think)/? i need a quote edit of every time within the first like. 15 eps of tam where jon is like “sounds fake but go off” thank u bb

- request 40/? i challenge you to write a tma drabble based only on the episodes i've heard. i'm currently halfway through episode 23

- Jon being lovingly bullied into taking a break. I'm aware this has been written a million times but it is one of my favorite things.

- spiral!sasha AU

- extinction martin go brrrrr

- high school era timsasha. they've both been friends for years, and everyone always asks when they will be a couple. they decide to fake date, to prove everyone wrong and show what a bad couple they would be. turns out that's a bit trickier than they thought

- after sasha comes back, tim is broken. he can't let go, scared that if he looks away for even a minute he'll lose her again. sasha suggests shibari as a way for him to give up control

- sasha pov mag 19 au, sacrificing herself to save the others, knows that if she gives herself up to the not!them it will let the others live

- this is the "tim finds a polaroid of sasha" trope

- early archives days,, long nights in research,,, clothes sharing,, somft. late nights and falling asleep at their desks warm and safe in the other's presence

- two parts: timsasha as kids, each picking a constellation that is "theirs". just soft kid antics. tim at sasha's grave glancing up to see their constellations

- continuing your job’s a joke (you’re broke)

DC Comics

- TIMSTEPH HADESTOWN AU,,,

- my redacted fic for @batfam-big-bang​

- request for you to get a decent amount of sleep? serious answer, dickkori, SAL's Venus

- request 4/? timsteph morning after 👀 mayhaps?

- a concept: nonbinary stephanie brown

- teehee hi mom, you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to, but can i request damian angst for your accomplishments 100 followers?

- hi you can ignore my first request if you want, or you can ignore this one. but bls possibly write some bikini ra’s? -the bikini bitch

- request 27/? jay is asking through me for a jondami playlist but tbh i also want it so win win yk?

- "I don't know how to help you but I can help you find someone who does" with bruce and jason? im just craving bruce being a good day to jason for once

- “I am putting you in time out because you need to understand the consequences of your actions.” with steph and jason as dumbass disaster bi best friends pretty please?

- request 32/? timsteph patrol date!!!

- request 33/? timsteph *gala* date? mayhaps??

- request 37/? tim drake drabble but make it Edgy cai

- request 39/? drabble of a prank war between tim and damian

- joyfire cuddly fluff please? or like just any outlaw fluff if joyfire isnt your thing (feel free to add every member of the outlaws, dont feel like u gotta stick with jason, kori, roy i love them all)

- barbara and robin! jason fluff? bonding over books or something?

- request 62/? i need a drabble about the chaotic trio jason, tim, and steph i'm love them ty

- request 63/? batfam x mcu crossover. batfam meets ironfam. give me ALL the cliches. ALL OF THEM

- request 64/? young justice x young avengers - jay cuz idk SHIT about the young avengers

- request 66/? jondami moodboard pls and ty

- request 67/? timsteph moodboard!!!!!!

- request 69/? HEHEHE kinky 😏 i would v much like a timsteph drabble of the almost first time. does that make sense? like i don't want you to go all the way NSFW cuz i know that's against the rules and i'm a rule follower. but like they *almost* go all the way. this could be fade to black or some shit i don't care just make it a lil steamy and have Fun

- i request damian angst! all of it

- hmm... maybe i request? jondami?

- mayhaps,,,,some batfam,,,,,committing crimes? ily be gay do crime <3 - lu

- How about a ficlet with Steph and Cass?

Found Family Bingo Prompts

- no powers au

- tunnel

- first day

- join the club

- hurt/comfort

- experiment

- playing favorites

- hold on

- possession

- 10 o’clock

- singing

- road

- snitch

- curfew

- timer

- fantasy au

- zombie au

- dreams

- campfire

- are you okay

- movie night

- games

- scared

Miscellaneous

- a request: Write A Drabble, Coward

- is it too late to request a moodboard for me?

- request 20/? i’m going off book because i’m in a Chaotic Mood™️ can you just absolutely vibe check me like go off cai demolish me

- request 21/? i formally request that you pick a favorite cai. i don’t care what that favorite pertains to, just pick a favorite something

- request 23/? roast me

- request 24/? can i have a buzzfeed unsolved spoopy playlist but spoiler alert it’s not spoopy bc shane doesn’t believe does this make sense it has been a Day™️

- request 25/50 i want a jake and amy fic make it Soft cai i’m love them b99 is so good

- request 28/? i know nothing about the lord of the rings so make something that will confuse the shit out of me

- request 34/? malvie and jaylos moodboards 😈

- request 35/? a moodboard for the bbb mods!! perceive all of us!!!

- request 36/? moodboard for the tua mods too???? mayhaps??

- request 41/? doctor WHO? idk but i want a drabble of him and the one character i know from doctor who which is rose

- request 46/? make an alignment meme with our group, have fun!!!

- request 49/? i want you to kin assign me a character from every fandom you can/want to. go feral

- request 50!!!!/? this is a special request. the most special request. can you make a bastards tbh playlist? i want our vibes encapsulated. i want us in music form. i want to hear those songs and be like "that's me and cai" and smile.

- requests 51/? i know jack shit about good omens. explain it to me in the most confusing way possible. make me know less by the end than i know now

- request 53/? can you write a mel aesthetic? i'm Curious

- request 54/? give me a list of book recs cai i want some good book recs pls

- request 56/? edit a picture of US together too

- request 58/? oooh can i have a disney edit? like. hm. i just really love disney and i want anything to do with disney. like a quote or an aesthetic or an aesthetic edit i just want disney.

- request 59/? i would v much like a recipe for carbonara. i've never had it but it sounds fucking delicious

- request 60/? ooh hey can i get a makeup tutorial? i know you like makeup, i'm shit at doing makeup. teach me

- request 65/? i need the most emo playlist you can make that vibes with dear evan hansen thank you

- request 68/? i want a superwholock moodboard. this can be serious, with the actual fandoms in mind, or literally what the era felt like. the insanity. the horror.

- request 70/? ooh ooh ooh do you have a good bread recipe?? i wanna get that bread

- request 71/? i want a playlist with the vibes of summoning a demon. please don't ask questions. i don't have answers. and if i do, no i don't.

- For the requests, how about writing something based on a friend?

- request 75/? MMMM i want literally anything to do with natasha, pierre, and the great comet of 1812

- request 76/? i want some healthy recipes. help a girl out

- a feral bbb quote or two?

- you perceive my plant but now I dare thee to perceive mine own visage

- okay this is a two for one request. 1. you did the bee movie script so now we need a shrek two script edit 2. sleep please

- Pansexual mb for my lil queer soul?

- my (probably) final request is just for you to ramble about something, i don't really care what

- HI ILY CONGRATS AS WELL CAUSE IM LATE BUT CONGRATS. could i request a pirates of the caribbean (or just pirates) or whatever you what to do, free range.

- mood board for the beluga whales who got brought to the animal sanctuary in Iceland please?

- 100 follower request: Moodboard for my stuffed cow Oaky?