#grandmaster-xoloto

[marvus-xoloto]

Can perhaps write mallek and/or lanque with a sick troll s/o who is just completely fucking miserable when sick??

So sorry I'm late anon; I wanted to finish up my last WIP before getting into another. I hope you're feeling better!! I wrote a silly little Mallek drabble FOR YOU! I am also residenting absolute evil when I'm sick, so I totally get it <3 This was a super fun lil fic to write, thanks for the prompt!! EDIT: Sorry, I missed the troll part of this ask! I really don't write that for future reference, unless it's either a headcanons only post (i.e. not fic) or canon chara x canon chara.

Osmosis Jones Was Blue, Too | G | 1426 words | AO3 link

___

It's a well known fact that an object in motion stays in motion. What they don't tell you is: an object at rest is rarely allowed to stay resting.

You, however, have found your ace in the hole, your golden ticket: the word sick? Hell, even just the implication: it always brings the conversation to a grinding halt.

POLYPA: hey * me and tegs are * having movie night * POLYPA: subs * not dubs * YOU: Sorry Polypa, but I don't think that's a very good idea... POLYPA: i think it's * a great idea * POLYPA: do you know * how hard * it is to get * teg to agree * to * subs * YOU: I think I'm getting sick :(

Bam. Nipped that right in the bud.

VIKARE: ~ Heigh-ho old chum! ~ VIKARE: ~ How fares the winds your way? ~ YOU: Not great. I feel like teeth are growing in my throat and my nose is runny and dry. VIKARE: ~ Ah, yes, the dentification of the swallow collumn. We've all been there sport chin up.~ VIKARE: ~ And my word guy have I got some advice for you! ~ MSPAR: I think it's just, you know... VIKARE ~ Hey now chum why the sudden reticence? ~ YOU: The "s" word... you know... VIKARE: ~ What on Globgolyb's shifting seas man you put that word away. ~ YOU: I'm S VIKARE: ~Cease this at once. ~ YOU: i VIKARE: ~ Skies above! You don't have to do this!~ YOU: ck :( VIKARE: ~You WHAT!~ - VIKARE'S HUSKTOP HAS EXPLODED -

Second time proves the hypothesis.

Zebruh: ♦️ Good evening, my lovely, hornless friend. ♦️ Zebruh: I saw the video of you and the Grandmaster on chitter earlier this evening. Zebruh: Might I say you managed to look raidant. ♣️ Well, as radiant as one can next to the splendor that is Marvus Xoloto? ♣️ YOU: Gee, thanks for the neg. It's not just my legs that are running... Zebruh: Ahem. ♠️ Pardon? ♠️ MSPAR: Would you like a sinus infection, free of charge? Zebruh: Depends, ♦️ which sinus? ♦️ YOU: I'm sick, dunkass

Even though he seems to be feeling particularly conciliatory this evening, Zebruh hasn't responded to you in the twenty minutes that have passed since you dropped the dreaded S word.

But, ah here's the tricky part.

MALLEK: yo; MALLEK: sup; MALLEK: hey; MALLEK: i know you = there; MALLEK: i can see you through my viewfinder; you really need to update your passwords; MALLEK: wait; MALLEK: forget i said that; MALLEK: you = uh; typing a lot; MALLEK: i have a keylogger on your palmhusk; MALLEK: that = less creepy and invasive; MALLEK: right? YOU: No, not really. MALLEK: damn it; MALLEK: well i can see you through my viewfinder; MALLEK: and you look different; YOU: Yeah? Like what you see? MALLEK: did you secretly start the cyborgization process? YOU: Yes. That is definitely what's happening. MALLEK: without me :( MALLEK: actually can you ignore the frowny face; YOU: What frowny face? MALLEK: heh; MALLEK: so seriously; what = with the new look;

Ah. How do you drop the news without halting this conversation in its tracks?

YOU: Okay. YOU: Promise you won't freak out. MALLEK: "freaking out" =! in my vocabulary babe; YOU: I have noticed that trolls really do not like this word. MALLEK: uh-oh; MALLEK: = the word "intimacy" or "self-reflection?" YOU: Self-reflection is two words, Mallek. MALLEK: so; who = it exactly that you = getting intimate with; YOU: Besides you? This box of tissues is really getting a run for its money. MALLEK: heh; nice; MALLEK: i usually use a sock; YOU: OKAY?? That is not what I meant. GOD!

If you weren't flushed already from being sick, you are now.

MALLEK: okay; i = lost now; YOU: I just want to remind you that "freaking out" is not in your vocabulary. MALLEK: that = also two words; YOU: Yes. Glad we're on the same page. YOU: I am. YOU: Not. YOU: Unsick? MALLEK: what; YOU: I'm sick, okay?? And I'm miserable and nobody seems to care. MALLEK: i wish you would have told me; MALLEK: i could have spent more time with you; MALLEK: :( MALLEK: don't ignore that emoji; YOU: Sad face. Noted. MALLEK: should i get a hold of that rustie; MALLEK: you know; the one with the shovel? YOU: Unless he's the sole provider of benadryl and chicken soup on this planet, I think we can leave Fozzer out of this one.

And like that, the theory is concluded. Mallek does not text you back. You make a few silly faces into the view finder, but even that doesn't entice him to talk to you.

Frowny face. Not noted. Sigh.

___

You only realize you've been dozing when a knock at your door wakes you up. The fatigue is like a physical thing, a weighted blanket sewn into your body.

The knocking is mostly a formality; each strike against the wood pulp sends the door rattling forward a few centimeters. This unexpected guest must be a friend.

But, as you open the door, a scream builds up in you so intense that you just. Scream. There's nothing poetic about it. It's been a long time since you've seen ET, but you do know "aliens" and "the dominant population, now in a hazmat suit" is never a meet cute.

"Who is in here!" you shout on instinct. You grab a paper cup of water and throw it at the intruder. It splashes harmlessly against their hazmat suit.

"Whoa! Hey!" calls a muffled but distinctly masculine voice from within. It gives you pause for all of about five seconds; why do they sound so familiar? Until the six foot long forceps come out.

"Get the hell," you pause to wipe your runny nose on your sleeve, and then cough for good measure, "away from me!"

It doesn't work; the forceps are headed your way. They grab you expertly by your midsection, you you simply flail around until you flop on the ground. Like a rabid fish out of water. The intruder gets in your space. You stick your middle finger up at them.

Then you kick them square in the belly.

They makes a noise like "oooaauuugh," and then "damn, you kick hard. It's me!"

Mallek unzips the front of his ventilation hood; beneath he is wearing an n-95 mask with the zig-zag of scorist. How did he get that on such short notice?

"What are you doing here?" you ask as he zips his hood back up. If you weren't out of breath from your stuffed up nose, you certainly are now after the fucking alien escape olympics.

"If I tell you, promise not to kick me again?"

"No," you say through a wry smile.

"Well then, maybe this will explain it." He sets down a lock box of some sort, roughly the size of a six pack. He fiddles with the top for a moment before it lets out a beep, and then the lid opens with an outpouring of steam. He takes the forceps again, uses them to remove the contents, and then sends them your way.

A perfect, plastic bowl of chicken soup, a two pack of pink and green sludge that you suspect is Alternian day and nyquil respectively, and a cellophane package of spoon, salt, and pepper is thrust your way.

"I'm the sole provider of chicken soup and benadryl on this planet," Mallek says, full of lumpy pride in his ill fitting hazmat suit.

Oh, he wasn't freaking out because you're sick. He's freaking out because he isn't 100% your sole provider, and also anxiously desperate to prove how much you need him.

"Nerd," you say, throwing the cellophane wrapper at him. It sails about two inches through the air before floating pathetically to the fround.

Well, shit. You're floating pathetically down, too.

You eat your chicken soup on the group, Mallek hovering over you from six feet away. Every cough and sniffle sends him lurching for the door; you make sure to do it as often as you can.

About halfway through your soup, Mallek asks, "are you going to die?"

The only part of his face you can see are his eyes, as large and shiny as porcelain plates.

Only Mallek can out-drama you regarding your own illness.

"Yes," you say. His face crumples even as you smile.

"Is the soup helping? I made it myself."

"Hm," you slurp your way through a thought. Surely, for all the mess and nastiness in his kitchen, he must have invented some super strain of anti-sickess, alien mold by now, right?

Mallek keeps staring at you with his big ol' eyes.

You smile. "Feeling better already."

[elizajakkbeth]

I just wanted to say thank you for the kind words you left in the tags of my fic!! I just checked the notifs on it today and i reread your tags a few times throughout my shift at work :') They really made a long day feel a little easier. Anyway, I'm so happy you liked it!! ❤️

You’re welcome!! I didn’t realize it before but I read a couple of your Marvus fics and I gotta say out of all the ones on the cursed website we call Archive Of Our Own, you gotta be my fav marvus writer!! Love how you write him and overall the style of your writing!! I look forward to whatever cool ideas you are gonna write next!!! 💜💜 thanks for da marvus food

And here just because X) a lil marvus doodle for ya

[popcorn-kitten]

C F I J M T and X (just clearing up that I'm interpreting that as "what kind of lingerie / underthings would they wear") for Marvus? Sorry if that's a lot, I'm thinking about that clown tonight 😔

Silas, my dude, it is always clown thoughts here @grandmaster-xoloto

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

Fascinated with it, it’s liquidly but a little sticky and everyone’s is a different color and flavor.  He’s not going out looking to sample cum all over but when he’s with someone he notices the subtleties and differences in theirs vs his vs other’s. Would 100% use his to draw a :o) on his partner’s stomach.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Cowgirl, he likes watching his partner move on him and putting them in the position of having to do a decent portion of the work.  He’s tired after a long day of being Marvus and someone just lavishing him is a gift from the Messiahs.  It’s also a great position for his partner to lean forward and give him lots of kisses and eye contact.  

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Oof...depends?  If it’s a hook up because he needs to get stress out, that’s all it’s going to be - a  quick in and out with almost no talking or eye contact.  When it’s someone he is actually interested in he likes to take things much slower.  He’s a person of sensations and showmanship so he’s going to make sure he and his partner get a good experience out of it.  He struggles not to crack jokes and just be in the moment - he gets really caught up in how he is appearing; not even necessarily to his partner but to the image in his mind of how it should go.  Breaking down that barrier is going to be a challenge and at the center of it is a large clown with no idea what genuine intimacy is. 

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Doesn’t have much time for it.  Sometimes will try to sneak one in before sleeping but he would honestly just rather go to bed at the end of the night.  Has ABSOLUTLY passed out mid wank.  More likely to do it when he’s on tour because there’s less going on that he needs to be involved in - it’s already all set to go and he just has to show up.  It’s more of a way to make time pass.  BUT if he’s got someone he’s thinking about while doing it then it’s a different story. He rarely will jack off alone and likes to video chat you while he’s doing so to get you to join in.  

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Being listened to and asked about his thoughts on deep topics, genuine compliments about him as a person, genuine soft words of affection with light kisses, flipped scripts are fun for him so you being the one to take him out or even just having a date night at home where you cook for him. Playing hard to get, some teasing while in public that isn’t too obvious to others.  Quickies in the limo between events

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

OK I defs am reusing my own HC but he owns A LOT of toys, none of them he purchased or really wanted?  Companies are always trying to get him to endorse them or let them make a mold of him and they send products to butter him up and show what they can do.  He sets them on pedestals like modern art or sticks them to walls for coat racks.  

If he has a partner who is interested he’ll try to get more invested.  If there’s something that really brings that person to the brink he’d be intrigued to see just how far he can push them and then be more willing to try it himself and see what the big deal is.  On a whim has you controlling a vibrator inside his nook during an interview because it’s funny and to see how you’ll play the game.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

On a regular day to day he’s going for a comfortable and breathable boxer brief.  His pants are tight so he doesn’t wear anything too bulky.  When he’s get dance practice there’s usually nothing under his sweats because it gets too hot and uncomfortable.  For a show may go a little more risqué and wear something lacey or a thong - he’s often barged in on and has to look good at all times for the camera that follows him everywhere.  If he were to wear a lingerie set it would probably be a mix of delicate lace and some outlandish feathers and gold chains with a purple leopard print crop jacket over it.  Mismatched thigh highs from Gucci and some ugly ass expensive Jordan's.  When he does get that coveted free time he’s wearing loose basketball shorts and nothing underneath

I mean I can talk about his bulge and nook too if you want tho??? 

[heuristicallyinclined]

Polypa for the character ask!

First impression: I didn’t really think much of her other than Naruto joke tbh. 

Impression now: I love her. She had been through so much and still opens up. I like that getting her comfortable and to be open is the key to being her friend. That and she’s pretty ride or die.

Favorite moment: Watching a movie with her in her good end and that side comment in Kanaya’s route where Mspar isn’t sure how they know what a moirail is or why they’re thinking of popcorn and movies. That one hurt. 

Idea for a story: Going to a con with Mspar and Tegiri would be wild and has humor potential. She has a few panels she wants to see and wants to walk around booths. Tegiri has signatures he wants to get and a few con exclusive things he wants. Mspar is along for the ride. I’m not saying they go as team seven, but they all have valid troll first names. I don’t know who going as what is funnier. Probably Mspar having to go as troll Sasuke to prevent a fight lmao.  

Unpopular opinion: Idk that I have one? 

Favorite relationship: Polypa/Mspar. I keep putting off making a coherent post about it, but that whole route was a wild romcom for her and you know she was had to take a moment after like, did that really just happen? In a way different from most people’s encounters with Mspar lol. I do have a soft spot for pale Polygiri though, unreciprocated red? I’ve seen it, but the canon unreciprocated pale is a very interesting thing to me for some reason.

Favorite headcanon: That she has a soft spot for cute things. It doesn’t really go with her aesthetic so she is stealthy about it. She keeps around some cute pens and stationary and wears cute socks under boots or something.  

[disegnidipizzo]

🐻 🎁 🌈 for the ask game!

🐻 Your go-to things to draw when you need comfort?

what havent i drawn that isnt a comfort drawing, tbh

but in all seriousness, i really like to design the characters whose description/backstory i have in my fantroll folder. theres enough to make a fanventure but im a terrible writer and i dont have the time/attention spawn for one (unless we wanna follow the vast error arc 1 update schedule)

🎁 Do you prefer drawing fandom stuff or your own characters?

my own characters of fandom stuff depends really, i have more freedom with my own characters, but also nobodys gonna care abt em because i dont have a large enough audience.

whereas, when has anyone ever gone wrong with drawing aradia?

🌈 Do you use more warm or cold colors?

ok ive been looking at my portfolio and im gonna guesstimate im 60% cold and 40% warm. cold shades just look better to me, im not really one for warmer colours

[shadowdemon101]

THANK U FOR THE MARVUS SANDWICH HEADCANON INDULGENCE!!! Truly I love your art and I've been meaning to say that I always enjoy your commentary and thoughts on stuff!! You're a real joy to see on my dash <3

THANK YOU FOR THE HEADCANON I REALLY LOVE IT!!!  ❤ ❤ ❤

Oh!!! You're so kind that means so much! I'm glad that my ramblings make you smile, I know that there is like, so much word dump sometimes in them tags quq

[heathcliff-the-unworthy]

[autisticsupervillain]

Does anyone know why I've been blocked by Grandmaster Xoloto? Or, at least, I assume that's what happened. I can't reblog any of their posts, even indirectly, and I can't even follow them or view their blog anymore.

It's a damn shame. I really loved their content and if I have been blocked then I have no idea what I've done to offend them. An explanation, at least, wouldn't go amiss...

[chachahutslide]

karako or chahut for the ask game?

since i got chahut in another ask-

First impression

who is this little bastard

Impression now

PLEASE LET NOTHING HAPPEN TO MY BABY BOY

Favorite moment

oddly enough i got very excited and very scared when he popped up in pesterquest

Idea for a story

Look I just want grown up karako being an honorary jade

Unpopular opinion

I dont think i have any??? it’s more of a fucked up hc he might be connected to some absolute bullshit

Favorite relationship

w bronya but i want to see it more!!!!!! LET THEM INTERACT THEY WERE IN THE SAME FUCKING TRAIN

Favorite headcanon

uncle marvus

[headcanon-fodder]

Grandmaster Xoloto ✨

[ihasafandom]

This was one of the inspirations for my troll feet! Also, beetle feet.

i see your troll feet hcs and i raise u: trolls have lil tarantula feeties

[gem-tavvy]

thank u @grandmaster-xoloto for the idea!!

[friendsim-more-like-lovesim]

Can I request some nsfw headcanons for Marvus, Mallek, Cirava and Zebruh (separately) with a human s/o? I honestly loved your blog ahhhh 😤

thank you aaaa!!! also i did the most for marvus but are we surprised

warning: NSFW (18+)

Marvus:

��� I saw @/grandmaster-xoloto mention this in one of their fics but this mans got a wet ass pussy. Depending on what parts you have as a human, he can go either way

• His bulge is very sensitive at the base and he LOVES your human heat as you clench around him. He’s quite large too, even for a clown, so you’re sure to have a good time

• Due to his size you’re probably not able to take him all the way, at least not at first, so you can put your thighs together if you’re riding him and he’ll go crazy

• 1000% up for a thighjob now that i mention it, though he produces a lot of genetic material so it will definitely get messy. He loves seeing the purple stains all over your nether region the days after, you’d be surprised at how difficult that is to remove...

• Also if you eat him out (after which he will love you forever) you can’t really go out the next night because you face will be quite purple. Marvus just laughs at you lightheartedly, he secretly finds it endearing in a weird way

Mallek:

• Pretty average bulge and nook, but average to a troll his caste. That is, a lot bigger than a human still. He’s got some little bumps on the underside of his bulge that he likes to grind on you when he can

• He’s too shy to admit it, but he really enjoys dry-humping. It ends up not being so dry by the end of it, but there’s something about it that just really turns him on

• Loves loves loves when you ride him, you don’t even have to do much work cause he’ll get too exited and start grinding his hips and fucking up into you

• Is another one who craves intimacy, and enjoys cockwarming (bulgewarming?) because you can just straddle him in his chair and you can cuddle up together and he gets peak access to kiss all over your neck

Cirava:

• Their bulge is more long than it is thick, but since tentabulges can curl in on themselves it’s not really an issue

• They prefer nook over bulge stimulation anyways, and adores when you go down on them

• Likes riding you/a strap-on while listening to or even making music. you’ve also definitely gotten high together while fucking, it’s not an uncommon occurrence

Zebruh:

• A thick boy in the bulge department. Not the longest you’ve seen but he fills you up good.

• He uses his bulge almost exclusively, as he feels very vulnerable when you stimulate his nook. You’d have to have a very strong relationship before he’s comfortable with that

• A horny boy let’s be real, he’s ready for you 24/7 and if you’re ever the first to initiate he’ll be over the moon exited

• He’s maybe not so surprisingly touch-starved and gets very emotional when you have sex, will try not to cry in front of you but don’t be surprised if it happens

[disegnidipizzo]

fountain ending fancard for @grandmaster-xoloto ‘s Stars are Blind I was gonna make more and release them all at once but given the pacing ive been able to work on them i figured i’d release them as they’d get completed (and so that this blog isnt totally dead)

[heuristicallyinclined]

I got tagged by the lovely @grandmaster-xoloto for the fanfic meme. Thank you so much! You’re always such a pleasure to see and you’re one of the most creative people I’ve met in the fandom. Your characterizations are *chef’s kiss.* Apologies for the late response!

Under a cut for length!

what's your all-time favourite ship?

In Hiveswap? Not really a surprise but Mallek/Mspar lol. Also really like Stelzias. Otherwise, Rosemary is one of my favorite og ships.

how many works do you have on ao3?

Only five!

Nobody Knows | MallekWeek2021 Writing Prompts | Becoming One with the Capri Sun | SPF Five Million or Whatever | MallekWeek2020 Writing Prompts

what's your total ao3 word count?

122,176 

what are your top five fics by kudos?

I only have the five from above but from most to least is: Nobody Knows: 590, MallekWeek2020 Writing Prompts: 119, SPF Five Million or Whatever: 78, Becoming One with the Capri Sun: 53, and MallekWeek2021 Writing Prompts: 26

do you reply to comments, why or why not?

I try to get to all of them. After I post something I check it frequently and try to reply. I fall off of it though and then do another burst of the previous comments I didn’t get to when posting a new chapter. Ngl I’ve been bad at this recently where I look at something, say “I’ll get to this later.” And then I don’t.

fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

Probably the Day 2: Sacrifice for MallekWeek2021 Writing Prompts

fic you've written with the happiest ending?

SPF Five Million or Whatever just ends with real dumbass hours and that makes me happy at least lol. 

do you write crossovers?

Nope, not really my thing. 

have you ever received hate on a fic?

Nope. 

do you write smut? if so what kind?  

Yes, though none that I’ve ever published anywhere. It’s nothing too crazy, I’m just kinda self-conscious about it. 

have you ever had a fic stolen?  

I don’t think so.

have you ever had a fic translated?

Not to my knowledge.

have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not really? I’ve played with ideas with others that fics came from and asked about realistic dialogue, but the end fic is in my writing. 

what’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I have several I have open that I come back to randomly and am trying to stay optimistic about. The Soleil twins one is the current one I am trying to wrap up. 

what are your writing strengths?

I think I’m funny? I try to be at least.

I think I’m decent at characterization?

what are your writing weaknesses?

Staying motivated and/or having time

I have a narrow scope of characters I like to play with and it’s hard to get out of my comfort zone

Going back over things I’ve written and picking it apart

Serious names lmao

what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I think it can be hard to do well but am not inherently against it. 

what was the first fandom you wrote for?

Homestuck. I wrote fics of me and my friends having our own session in like tenth grade? Great to know fucking nothing has changed since then lmao. 

what's your favourite fic you've written?

Nobody Knows. It’s kinda what started writing for a fandom for me. I do look over it from time to time and want to edit it constantly or cringe at some parts, but cringe aside I don’t regret it. I made a lot of friends, had fun making it, and started interacting with others in the fandom because of it and I know I would have kept to myself otherwise. 

Thanks for tagging me!

[ignoranceshaft]

behold: a clown

commission for @grandmaster-xoloto!