#Because I like being sad
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Mizu, femininity, and fallen sparrows
In my last post about Mizu and Akemi, I feel like I came across as overly critical of Mizu given that Mizu is a woman who - in her own words - has to live as a man in order to go down the path of revenge.
If she is ever discovered to be female by the wrong person, she will not only be unable to complete her quest, but there's a good chance that she'll be arrested or killed.
So it makes complete sense for Mizu to distance herself as much as possible from any behavior that she feels like would make someone question her sex.
I felt so indignant toward Mizu on my first couple watchthroughs for this moment. Why couldn't Mizu bribe the woman and her child's way into the city too? If Mizu is presenting as a man, couldn't she claim to be the woman's escort?
However, this moment makes things pretty clear. Mizu knows all too well the plight of women in her society. She knows it so well that she cannot risk ever finding herself back in their position again. She helps in what little way she can - without drawing attention to herself.
Mizu is not a hero and she is not one to make of herself a martyr - she will not set herself on fire to keep others warm. There's room to argue that Mizu shouldn't prioritize her quest over people's lives, but given the collateral damage Mizu can live with in almost every episode of season 1, Mizu is simply not operating under that kind of morality at this point. ("You don't know what I've done to reach you," Mizu tells Fowler.)
And while I still feel like Mizu has an obvious and established blind spot when it comes to Akemi because of their differences in station, such that Mizu's judgment of Akemi and actions in episode 5 are the result of prejudice rather than the result of Mizu's caution, I also want to establish that Mizu is just as caged as Akemi is, despite her technically having more freedom while living as a man.
Mizu can hide her mixed race identity some of the time, and she can hide her sex almost all of the time, but being able to operate outside of her society's strict rules for women does not mean she cannot see their plight.
It does not mean she doesn't hurt for them.
Back to Mizu and collateral damage, remember that sparrow?
While Mizu is breaking into Boss Hamata's manse, she gets startled by a bird and kills it on reflex. She then cradles it in her hands - much more tenderly than we've seen Mizu treat almost anything up to this point in the season:
She then puts it in its nest, with its unhatched eggs. Almost like she's trying to make the death look natural. Or like an accident.
You see where I'm going with this.
When Mizu kills Kinuyo, Mizu lingers in the moment, holding the body tenderly:
And btw a lot of stuff about this show hit me hard, but this remains the biggest gut punch of them all for me, Mizu holding that poor girl's body close, GOD
When Mizu arranges the "scene of the crime," Kinuyo's body is delicate, birdlike. And Mizu is so shaken afterward that she gets sloppy. She's horrified at this kill to the point that she can't bring herself to take another innocent life - the boy who rats her out.
MIZU'S ONE MOMENT OF SOFTNESS AND MERCY, COMING ON THE HEELS OF HER NEEDING TO KILL A GIRL TO SPARE HER THE WORST FATE THAT THIS RIGID SOCIETY HAS TO OFFER WOMEN, AND TO SPARE A BROTHEL FULL OF INNOCENT WOMEN WHO ARE THE CASTOFFS OF SOCIETY, NEARLY RESULTS IN ALL OF THEIR DEATHS
No wonder Mizu is as stoic and cold as she is.
And no wonder Mizu has no patience for Akemi whatsoever right before the terrible reveal and the fight breaks out:
Speaking of Akemi - guess who else is compared to a bird!
The plumage is more colorful, a bit flashier. But a bird is a bird.
And, uh
Yeah.
I like to think that Mizu killing the sparrow is not only foreshadowing for what she must do to Kinuyo, but is also a representation of the choice she makes on Akemi's behalf. She decides to cage the bird because she believes the bird is "better off." Better off caged than... dead.
But because Mizu doesn't know Akemi or her situation, she of course doesn't realize that the bird is fated to die if it is caged and sent back home.
Mizu is clearly not happy, or pleased, or satisfied by allowing Akemi to be dragged back to her father:
But softness and mercy haven't gotten Mizu anywhere good, recently.
There is so much tragedy layered into Mizu's character, and it includes the things she has to witness and the choices she makes - or believes she has to make - involving women, when she herself can skirt around a lot of what her society throws at women. Although, I do believe that it comes at the cost of a part of Mizu's soul.
After all, I'm gonna be haunted for the rest of this show by Mizu's very first prayer in episode 1:
"LET" her die. Because as Ringo points out, she doesn't "know how" to die.
Kind of like another bird in this show:
#blue eye samurai#mizu#akemi#kinuyo#bes#women are birds okay they are BIRDS#the let me die line is so SCARY AND SAD like a part of Mizu wants death but she cant? she doesnt know how?? excuse you show???#when all these other delicate birds are dying all around her#akemis character gets more and more gutwrenching upon subsequent rewatches because whenever she says her life is in danger#NO ONE BELIEVES HER - certainly not other women#because shes rich and pampered and that means shes safe and is worrying about nothing right? right?????#and it turns out that all of akemis instincts were right and she was in danger the ENTIRE TIME#also I need to make a post just for kinuyo because I am sad
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fionna and cake drawings before and after watching the episodes so far. it’s nostalgic and somehow cathartic and poignant and relatable and—it just started
#i’m part of the demographic where i was a kid when adventure time started and now watching fionna and cake as an adult makes me emotional#because did they keep us in mind when writing fionna and her attitude towards life#the dissatisfaction#the hoping for something more#something more magical than this dreary life filled with working to live and living to work#it’s so reflective of how life feels for me and perhaps many of us#and also Simon’s episode was so sad but so well thought out#exploring his feelings after the events of the adventure time finale is something I’m glad we get to see#there were already so many layers to his character in AT but now it feels like we get to dive deeper#I also felt emotional hearing Rebecca Sugar singing and writing a song that encapsulates his feelings so well#😭 it’s been awhile seeing her work exist alongside these characters#and all of these emotions get stronger because I remember AT being the one to inspire me to be a storyboard artist#when I was younger I used to follow many of the board artists here in tumblr and would get so inspired by them#to create simple but powerful boards that can capture the feelings of characters so well#Rebecca Sugar’s songs for the AT characters inspired me so much too#I’m sorry this is long I’m just feeling so many things experiencing all of this again as an adult#my art#fanart#adventure time#fionna and cake#fionna the human#cake the cat#simon petrikov
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Pain's Like Cold Water Your Brain Just Gets Used To It
No Complaints - Noah Kahan/That Funny Feeling - Bo Burnham/Ask Polly: Help I'm The Loneliest Person In The World - Heather Havrilesky/Ladybird (2017)/Tennessee Williams/unknown/No Complaints - Noah Kahan/Perks of Being a Wallflower (2012)/Ask Polly: Help I'm The Loneliest Person In The World - Heather Havrilesky/That Funny Feeling - Bo Burnham/No Complaints - Noah Kahan/That Funny Feeling - Bo Burnham/Unknown/Perks of Being a Wallflower (2012)/'Ectesy' - Georges Bataille/Warsan Shire/Ladybird (2017)/How to Cure a Ghost - Fariha Róisín/That Funny Feeling - Bo Burnham/No Complaints - Noah Kahan
#listen#i made this because i was sad yeah#im exhausted anyway#but i love the way this is structured as a repeating thing#it's the inverse of each other#everything is just repeating#again and again and again#there is is again that funny feeling#i saw the end it looked like the middle#and again#also it's all grey#devoid of color#it worked#anyway#web weave#web weaving#quotes#words#noah kahan#bo burnham#the perks of being a wallflower#ladybird
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C'MON TO THE THEATER!
I love these guys so much. forget NRC, I want to attend their terrible disaster school for disaster children that might actually be plastered on top of the smoking remains of an actively sinking ship. I may or may not actually learn anything, but I will have the time of my life.
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#stage in playful land#stage in playfulland#unique magic posters#so it was fellow after all and not gidel? whoops#i was merely overthinking it#me? overthink fictional characters? surely not#god though#i can't not love a guy who gets the cutest most adorable power#and instantly goes 'i shall use this for Crimes'#also every time he was like 逃げる! my brain auto-translated it as CHEESE IT!#accompanied by twst's running-away sound effect which is just the quintessential sound of someone cheesing it#if i could have (1) twst spinoff it would be the adventures of these two idiots trying to do an education#they would have a stodgy bureaucrat antagonist who keeps trying to catch them in their sleazy corner-cutting ways and shut them down#(OF COURSE there would be a bit where they are trying to host an unforgettable luncheon but egads! their roast is ruined!)#and all while they're trying to evade being hunted down by the playful land investors#the hijinks would be SO wacky you guys#i've made myself sad now because this will never exist#it's real in my HEART
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I recall saying this before, but it bears repeating:
There could be a billion trans people in the world and it still wouldn't be a bad thing because being trans is not a bad thing. Even if the rate of people discovering they are trans is "disproportionate" to trends from decades ago, that is not a bad thing. In fact, it's a natural consequence for there being more trans people being able to stay alive, and, overall, being able to live in a slightly more tolerant world. You'd only see that as a bad thing if you actively didn't want trans people to either live or live a life that facilitates wellness.
#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#mtf#nonbinary#like even with there being more OPEN AND OUT trans people there are still more cis people by volume#even in my high school with three trans girls and three trans guys (including me) and a few NB people...#...there were still a THOUSAND cis kids going to school with us. imagine complaining when cis people are still 'dominant'#i don't know what my secondary school's population is because it's a big campus so you can deal with high school stats lol#like thank gd we are beginning to live in a world where the trans population CAN grow#i want there to be more trans people. because trans people will continue to be trans#we will continue being trans no matter what laws you put into place. no matter how dangerous you make the world for us...#...we will continue to be trans whether or not you approve. and that's fucking beautiful. i want us to live. i want us to eat well.#i want us to not worry about anything in this world. and that's going to happen one day. it will happen just like the sun rises each morning#if that is a threat to you then that is your own fault - your own self-destructive and sad thoughts about people and our world#and that is not my burden to carry - i have my own.
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Scientists and professors have begun documenting wild Eevee with little to no human socialization that are becoming reclusive, feral, harder to capture, and eventually growing to undocumented sizes.
It's a well known fact that Eevee's normally unpredictable and Volatile DNA stabilizes after evolving. However that seems untrue for Eeon, as it retains a largely diverse moveset, embracing its constantly changing genetic structure.
This instability and lack of human interaction makes Eeon threatening to stumble across in the wild, and caution is advised.
#Pokemon#PKMN#fakemon#PKMN oc#Eevee#eeveelution#PKMN Eeon#fizzles draws#Eeon of course being the beginning of “eevee” and the “eon” suffix for eeveelutions; but also meaning “eon” as in a very long time#And now with the wide amount of different kinds of rare candy sizes; it should be relatively easy to boost a low level eevee to level 50#But if you're looking for a different evolution you had better put a bit more work in first <:)#I also like 'the perpetual pokemon' for it because it sort of implies 'this is all you'll ever be. unfinished. unstable'#which is kind of sad in its own right#also have you noticed that flareon is the only fluffy eeveelution we get. thats a god damn shame !!!!
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Firefox-official vs electronicmail
Hydrogen bomb vs coughing baby
okay come up with a better idea then. firefox-official is gone asshole it’s electronicmail or nothing
#this one was hard to respond to because it elicited the usual anon rage in me#but i had to think about it anyway.#this blog has been around for less than a month and it is driving me fucking crazy#don’t you think i know?#dont you think it hurts enough already#i dont want this blog either i want my old blog back with all my stuff on it#i would like to stick around#because i loved posting#and i get that you’re just having fun#but i’m making an example of you#less than a month vs five years#‘household name’ firefox official#spent five years building that thing#and now it’s just this.#i keep forgetting#and then i’m here again#not home#i know you all feel bad enough for me already#but it’s so hard to be myself because the environment on here is SO different#we were HAPPY#WE WERE SO HAPPY#Umm… Or whatever.#guess i could go back to firefox unofficial#but that feels far too close to the sun. and i’m done with the wings i think.#i dont mean to be so serious#a total mood killer i know#i just dont know how to proceed exactly#because when i post like normal i cant help but feel sad#and when i post about being sad its just sort of obnoxious#i’m not really asking for pity i just want to explain where i am at
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4 MINUTES (2024) I 1.03 "I didn't think you were like this. Like what? Like this..."
#4 minutes#4 minutes the series#userfaiza#userrlaura#uservix#userrlana#tonkla#win#win x tonkla#wintonkla#tonkla x win#jjay patiphan#fuaiz thanawat#thai drama#bl series#thai bl#after this episode i feel that 'the woman was too stunned to speak" meme because whew girl....#jeez louise tonkla is kinda self destructive tho#but i kinda get it: he's grieving and korn ignoring him must sting extra hard#but win seems to be quite self-destructive as well if we're being honest....#also tonkla's sleeping with win is not only because he's sad and wants to distract himself#it's also maybe a way for him to punish korn.... like 'look what i'm doing while you're not here' kinda stuff#but im still rooting for them to fall in love bc that would make things EXTRA complicated soooooooooooooooo#plus kinda interesting how he's acting completely different with win - he's not faking anything the same way he does with korn hmmmmmmmmmmm#and i kinda respect win just going with the flow tho - my man was not complaining and doing whatever he was told#love that tonkla kinda looks like the mafia boss and win is his boytoy - surely this doesn't mean anything....#mywork
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Perimedes and Elpenor designs?
yes sir right away sir
#awnrii art#epic the musical#the odyssey#TECHNICALLY!#elpenor#elpenor epic the musical#perimedes#perimedes epic the musical#epic the musical fanart#i think elpenor being leaner is funny because like#what if hes bad with alcohol.#please notice elpenors longer chiton i think its fun#i do think with peri i gave him a cape because jorge depicts him as Sad#and i was like. ok lets close him up. cape style#asks
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breaks my heart how often i see people posting yoi fanart/fanfic after a long time of not engaging w the fandom say that they "know the fandom is pretty much dead". like babes i get why you'd think that but we are very much still here alive and kickin!! sure there's less of us now but i see new fanfics being posted on AO3 almost every day. not even just oneshots either, there's super elaborate multichapter fics too! people are still writing meta and drawing amazing fanart and translating interviews and doing art collabs etc etc. there's even an active discord server (maybe even more than one but i don't know about the others). that's not what a dead fandom looks like. we're LOYAL
#this isn't meant as criticism of those comments btw like i said i understand why sb would think so!!#it just makes me sad because i know the fandom is still active. fandoms don't have to die once official content stops being made!!#especially when it's something like yoi which so many people were (and continue to be) deeply moved by#there's even new people coming in saying they just watched it recently and they're so glad the fandom is still here!!#basically i want people to know that there is still Plenty of fresh yoi fandom creations to discover and enjoy#because i love yoi and i love this fandom!! v v deeply#yoi#yuri on ice#neptalks
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Eloise Bridgerton being an absolute mood:
and Cressida's reaction of 'this girl is so weird, but I'm into it??? Wait am I into this??'':
#i was so sad that no one had made gifs of this moment#that i simply made one myself#i just love this almost smile cressida has here#like she can't believe eloise would just say and do this sort of thing#which kind of also adds to what she says in a later episode about eloise being courageous#she means this; eloise just being unapologetically herself without caring about whats appropriate#something cressida doesn't have the freedom to do (because she lacks the family support eloise has) but probably wishes she could#i love finding these little moments bc you can interpret so much from them even though they're only seconds long#yes i am autistic why do you ask?#eloise bridgerton#cressida cowper#creloise#bridgerton#bridgerton s3#bridgerton 3x02#gifs#my gifs#(also i don't know how to gif i did my best with what gimp can do)#bc id rather die than using something adobe makes
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re last reblog I do see fanfic culture pushing/replicating a certain model of "what trauma looks like," "how trauma works"
this is a problem across all areas of society obviously, but transformative works are, well, transformative. they're about crafting and modifying narratives where the fan-creator sees a flaw or a lack -- often for the better! don't get me wrong, I've done my fair share of "I take a hammer and I fix the canon," it's the main thing that gets my creative gears spinning -- but what happens when that "flaw" is simply a narrative not conforming to popular expectations?
some people just don't get PTSD from events that sound obviously traumatic. they're not masking, and they're not coping; they just straight-up didn't get the permanently-locked stress-response that defines PTSD. they walk away from a horrible experience going "well, that sucked, but it's over now." some people do get PTSD from events most people wouldn't find traumatic. we don't really know why some people get PTSD and others don't. but fandom has an idea of events that must be traumatizing, of a "correct" way to portray trauma. you see the problems with this lack of understanding in e.g. fans pressuring the devs of Baldur's Gate 3 to add dialogue where the player character badgers Halsin about his own feelings on his abuse -- because he must be traumatized, and his trauma must fit a certain mold and presentation of sexual trauma, under the mistaken impression that anything outside that narrow window is somehow "wrong" and disrespectful or even harmful to survivors.
take, for another example, the very common trope of a traumatized character who hates touch or sex "learning" to like touch or sex as a part of their healing process. certainly that can be healing for some people; other people will never like, or want, touch or sex, because of trauma or because they just don't. the assumption that someone who doesn't want sex or doesn't like to be touched must be traumatized, must be suffering from this perceived lack, is seriously harmful -- to asexual people, to people with sensory issues around touch, and to people for whom healing from trauma means freedom to refuse sex or touch.
and there's a secondary trope, one that's slightly more thoughtful but ultimately repeats the problem -- that once someone has learned that their boundaries will be respected, they'll feel it's safe to soften those boundaries. once they feel safe refusing touch or sex, they'll feel comfortable allowing it on their own terms. but many people don't, and many people won't! many people will simply never want to be touched, and never want sex, and they are not suffering or broken or lacking because of it. the idea that proving you'll respect someone's boundaries entitles you to test those boundaries -- the paradox is obvious, and yet this is something i've seen hurt (re-traumatize) people i care for.
people are imperfect victims. people don't heal in the ways you expect. many people have positive memories of their abuse, of their abusers. many people hurt others in the course of their trauma, in ways that can't easily be unpacked in a 5k oneshot. very few narratives of trauma and recovery actually fit the ones put forward by popular children's media and romance novels -- which are the ones I most see replicated in fandom spaces, because they provide the clearest narrative and easiest catharsis, and so they're easy and soothing to reach for.
that's not necessarily a bad thing! i am not immune to goopy romance tropes. i am not immune to teary catharsis. not every fic has to grapple with ugly realities. but there's a problem when these narratives become predominant, when people think they're accurate and realistic depictions of trauma, when the truth of trauma is unpleasant and uncomfortable, and doesn't fit any single narrative, let alone one of comforting catharsis
#bird original#see also: the murderbot diaries#murderbot does not like to be touched. murderbot does not like touching other people#physical contact is an unpleasant necessity in emergencies or to feign being human (something murderbot also hates)#at one point murderbot uncomfortably offers a hug to someone it cares for because she's upset and needs one --#and she refuses. because she knows it doesn't really want to; she won't ask it to do something it hates for her benefit#& yet murderbot fic often has it learning that touch ~isn't so bad~ and maybe there are a COUPLE people it likes to cuddle with.#the differences between vash in the original trigun anime and trigun stampede --#tristamp!vash is your woobie who hides his sad and traumatized heart under goofy behavior;#who copes and avoids through silly indulgences#2011!vash ... is not that#2011!vash isn't coping or masking. he feels immense grief yes; he also feels immense joy; the two are inseparable#he pursues joy moment to moment because he knows how fleeting each moment is#he loves people so intensely because he knows that he'll lose them -- so he has no time to waste with them#his grief is real and profound; so is his joy#i find that much more compelling and i feel like that's not a character i'd see in today's media environment#anyway#fandom#trauma#fanfic#throwing a golden apple into the tags with this but fuck it we ball
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Been four years, time for this again.
With the trajectory these redraws are going, Merlin and Gwaine are going to end up just,,, making out. Full on sloppy style right in front of Arthur.
And honestly? Good for them they deserve it lmao
#bbc merlin#merlin#merwaine#merthur#arthur pendragon#sir gwaine#ot3#redraw#re watched “Gwaine” recently and the heart eyes they all have for each other#Arthur vouching for a man he's know for like two days max against a knight he's apparently been friends with since his childhood#Merlin being sad eyes and telling Gwaine he thinks he's fun and he's going to miss him when he leaves#Both of them recognizing his fighting style and being excited that he's there at the melee :3#It's Gwaine my Good Friend Gwaine he's here I Love my Good Friend Gwaine whom I've known for three days he's my Favorite Guy :) :) :)#Says merthur#Gwaine very famously being Anti Nobility but risking his life anyway for Arthur#and then literally just about every damn interaction he has with Merlin period#which in his defense isn't his fault because that's just the Merlin Effect but still. Gwaine is Not Immune.#anyway fuck these guys <3
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I just feel like she hopes she'll become someone better but cries knowing she won't.
#sorry if it feels mischarcatery its just been stuck in my head#missy makes me so sad you guys :(#the doctor didnt even really know who she was in the end#and i feel like she wishes that he did. and that she got to keep being herself because Missy was someone she enjoyed being#compared to the master yknow?#doctor who s8 ep11 spoilers#shes so :(#missy#doctor who#the master#myart#im so proud of this actually i did it in ibit paint with a soft zero texture brush which is like woah#its a little dramatic for mtly tastes but oughhhh
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Zionists want you to conflate Judaism and Zionism. Zionists want you to believe that Judaism cannot exist without Zionism and that all Jews are Zionists. Zionism would have Jews believe that a Jewish state is the only way that they can be safe from antisemitism and will point to any instance of antisemitism as proof that Zionism is the solution- so Zionism wants gentiles to be antisemitic in their support of Palestine. They want you to conflate all Jews with Zionism and the state of Israel, and they want you to treat all Jews regardless of political affiliation as the face of Israel. Antizionist Jews exist, and incidences of antisemitism ostensibly acting against Zionism will not help dismantle the forces propping Zionism up.
Don't do their work for them.
#red rambles#viva palestina#antizionism#i haven't actually seen a lot of antisemitism personally. not recently anyway. but that's more a feature of me not following antisemites#i DO however see a lot of people talking about the people they're seeing throw their support behind antisemites using palestine#as an excuse to conflate all jews with israel#and i cannot stress enough that that is literally what israel and zionist forces abroad WANT.#i am jewish. my entire family is jewish. i want to see palestine free. and i have SEEN how the jewish community gets conflated with israel#both from the inside and out#and i am dead serious when i say that every time someone is antisemitic it strengthens the conviction from people abroad#that it's a terrible sad situation but there's 'no other choice'#if you're being antisemitic you are doing the enemy's work for them. Stop it.#like... look. i am putting this in the tags bc im talking in the tags but i mean this. I do not give a single flying fuck if you personally#are a giant raging antisemite at the moment. Your personal beliefs are your problem and not mine. I do not fucking care. But if you are#being openly and loudly antisemitic *in your support of palestine* you are absolutely not fucking helping. I am so dead serious right now#if you want to raise awareness and you're being antisemitic because of deep held beliefs or whatever i want you to look around and read the#fucking room. Do you understand how much of Israel's international support comes from the idea that they are the only country where jews ar#safe from antisemitism? do you see how every time palestine comes up people point at incidences of antisemitism in anti-genocide actions to#discredit the entire movement? do you not understand how your actions are cutting the movement down at the knees?#i'm jewish and proud of it. i don't like antisemitism. but there's a genocide on and i'd rather work against it than quibble over who i#work alongside. i dont fucking care. you can be as antisemitic as you like in private. stop fucking the movement up.#there are bigger things to worry about here. if i can put aside my own concerns as to who i'm talking to you can hold your tongue#and fight the good fight instead of handing weapons to the people who are trying to fucking flatten gaza.
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I always wondered why Katniss factored marriage and children into the equation when it came to reciprocating Peeta’s feelings for her. It’s a rather large leap, especially when Peeta himself never expresses wanting children at any point in the story. He uses children as a tool to persuade Katniss and the Capital to save her life, but the only time we see him express any desire/feelings of having one of his own is when he’s crying after the baby bomb. But we never hear his real thoughts.
But you wanna know who does express wanting children? Gale.
It’s one of the first thing he mentions in chapter one. And it pisses her off so much.
(I also want to add that Gale reframes/establishes the dynamic of Katniss and him caring for their siblings from something that is sibling-sibling to parent-sibling. And he is not wrong. Katniss doesn’t refute him. Both Katniss and Gale are surrogate parents to their siblings. Which is also why Katniss love and affection of Prim, is not just sisterly. I’ve seen people say Katniss is only sisterly to Prim- but she’s not. She’s parentified their relationship to the point she subconsciously see Prim as her child, which makes this a tragedy because she’ll loose her first child no matter what she does by the end of the story.)
But Gale’s phrasing here elevates himself as a potential suitor to Katniss by placing them both as the parental roles to these children. (Which irritates her a lot ). Which is why she brings the topic up with her relationship with Peeta. Because she’s subconsciously aware of Gale’s efforts and knows it will be a point of contention between them. It hangs over her head in a way.
With Gale, children are extra mouths to feed. (But Gale will do fine. He can work. He can hunt.) It’s all framed with calculated survival in mind. But it’s also not something she had planned in the future at any point.
But Peeta’s children? Oh they deserve to be born because Peeta deserves to be a father. He would be such a good father. They deserve to exist in a world where they can be safe and happy. (Even if it’s not with her.)
This is also why I think she subconsciously sees Peeta’s baby as her own. And I don’t think of it as a cruel/heartless thing, it’s just you’d be more protective of your own child compared to someone else’s. Katniss sees Gale as a reliable person who’s equipped to look after a kid. She doesn’t express the same kind of maternal instinct/yearning for the Baby Hawthrone’s safety as she does with the idea of Baby Mellark, because she doesn’t think of Gale’s child as her own. She never hopes for a better future for them, but she does with Peeta because he and that baby gives her hope. And she loves him that much.
#I’m just rambling#sorry if it’s obvious from the get-go#but I just realized the whole Baby+marriage and Peeta is Katniss dragging her issues with Gale into her relationship with Peeta 🤣#I don’t want to be mean#but Katniss does not give a shit about Gale being a father#she’s all like- yeah go find a partner#but I still want my hunting buddy#but Peeta???#he should be a father (says nothing about finding another woman) and his baby deserves safety#she also doesn’t mention jealous with Peeta#but does with Gale (I wouldn’t be jealous. but me hunting partner…)#which yeah#she plans on dying#but she also blocks out the topic of another woman completely#because I think it would make her sad/jealous#everlark#katniss everdeen#peeta mellark#thg#the hunger games#not tagging Gale lmao
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