#Battle of Metropolis

[chernobog13]

Superman faces-off with General Zod during the Battle of Metropolis in Superman ll (1980).

[gummybearstastelikesadness]

When Danny enters the Fenton portal for the very first time, he still trips and shocks himself but at the same time damages the inside of the portal enough that it can’t sustain itself past the point of changing Danny’s molecules.

The electricity and damage done to both Danny and the portal isn’t something Danny, Sam, and Tucker can cover up and his parents find out immediately. They’re more concerned about their son then the portal (they have the blueprints for the portal and can rebuild it later but can’t replace their son if something happened to him) and go through a lot of things emotions regarding the existence of ghost human hybrids.

Danny’s new biology could easily be passed as meta human traits. Unfortunately President Lex Luther had just recently passed laws against meta humans. Meaning they can’t risk people find out about Danny’s new powers, at all. The Fentons decide that Danny should live with one of Maddie or Jacks relatives off grid until he can control his new abilities better.

luckily Jacks sister, Martha, and her husband have experience with a super powered child and after their son moved to the city could probably use a hand on their farm. All Jack needed to do was call.

[sixpennydame]

Just thinking about postwar!Levi and him watching a film in a movie theater for the first time. It’s well after The Rumbling, and everyone was talking about the new “moving pictures” showing up in these newly built movie theatres. Levi had never been one to attend theatre productions or music concerts before, but he was curious to see what the fuss was all about, so he goes one night with Onyakopon and Yelena.

And what he sees is nothing short of spectacular to him.

People in fantastical costumes traveling beyond this world and meeting new creatures Levi had never thought of in his wildest dreams. After that first time, he started going every weekend with Onyakopon, eager to view new stories and places long gone, forgotten, or never created.

But one afternoon, he sits in the theater and watches as the screen fills with soldiers attacking innocent, unarmed people. A woman holds a child with tears in her eyes, but the soldiers march forward. There’s no sound, but Levi can hear every pop of the guns, every cry of the women and children. He stands up and leaves.

Onyakopon finds him sitting in the lobby, his head in his hands.

“You ok, Levi?” He asks.

Levi looks up, sweat on his brow. “Yeah…it was just a little too realistic.”

[superman86to99]

Action Comics #701 (July 1994)

"THE FALL OF METROPOLIS," Finale! The final (for now) battle between Superman and Lex Luthor! Wait, isn't Luthor practically a vegetable now? Is this just 22 pages of Superman beating up a cripple? No, it's actually a fair fight because Lex is back to his old Pre-Crisis habit of wearing purple robot armors (I guess they're traditionally more green than purple, but still).

As seen last issue, Lex's paralyzed body is being taken to S.T.A.R. Labs in an ambulance so they can administer the cure to the Clone Plague that left him in this state, but he's got other priorities: mainly, punching Superman. Following Lex's programming, a Kryptonian Battle Suit (the same one that Superman just sorta left laying around in Metropolis during "Reign of the Supermen") comes to retrieve him, trashing that poor ambulance in the process.

Now able to see and hear again thanks to the armor's sensors, Lex witnesses the destruction in Metropolis for the first time and is like "I can't believe I accidentally destroyed the city I love... anyway, let's destroy it some more!" More specifically, he wants to destroy the statue of Superman that stands atop what was once his tomb.

Superman comes to stop Lex from causing even more property damage (and prevent him from showing what's inside the tomb and spoiling a storyline that isn't supposed to start yet...). Superman evades the armor's punches and missiles, but Lex is able to club him with the statue itself -- which you already saw on the cover, but I'm showing it to you again because it's such a cool image.

Lex tries stepping on Superman and burning him with ignited rocket fuel (so hot that it turns the armor's hand into a stump), but Superman is Superman, so he ends up ripping the suit open, taking Luthor out... and flying him to S.T.A.R. so they can give him the cure. Because, again, he's Superman. But, unlike Superboy and other Clone Plague victims, Lex doesn't simply go back to normal after getting the cure: he's still paralyzed, probably because his clone body was "grown more quickly" than the others (he should sue that Dabney Donovan fellow for his shoddy rush job).

Of course, Lex blames Superman for the results of his own dumbass choices and swears that one day he'll make him pay...

...but, for now, he better get comfy in that bed, because he's gonna be there for a good while. THE END!

Plotline-Watch:

That closes the actual "Fall of Metropolis" storyline, but Metropolis will remain fallen for a little while longer.

This is also the end of the Clone Plague storyline, since Lex was the last surviving clone to get the cure. If you're wondering what happened to the Underworlders: at S.T.A.R., Dr. Kitty Faulkner says they all "seem to have perished." Damn, even the babies? That's brutal. Considering they never appeared again except in flashbacks, Kitty is probably right, but I prefer to believe they simply retreated even deeper underground and never had to deal with the surface world's bullshit ever again.

Lex wearing a green/purple armor finally fulfills the tease seen on the first page of 1986's The Man of Steel #5, when we're made to think a random goon in a proto-Lex-Men suit is Lex. Then we see businessman Lex himself and it's like "Ha! You thought this Lex Luthor would ever be caught dead inside something so corny? Dream on, nerds!"

This issue is written by Karl Kesel (plot) and Louise Simonson (dialogue) since Roger Stern left in Action #700 and the new guy hasn't arrived yet. Speaking of Stern, that blurb at the end saying that hopefully both he and Lex will return one day is exactly what's gonna happen, but it won't be in Action or any of the existing Super-Titles...

Shout Outs-Watch:

Awesome Kryptonian Battle Robot-sized shout outs to our supporters, Aaron, Chris “Ace” Hendrix, britneyspearsatemyshorts, Patrick D. Ryall, Bheki Latha, Mark Syp, Ryan Bush, Raphael Fischer, Kit, Sam, Bol, and Dave Shevlin! Join them (and get extra articles) via Patreon or our newsletter’s “pay what you want” mode!

And now, keep reading for the great Don Sparrow's take on this issue, Roger Stern's run in general, and what does Clone Lex have between his legs...?

Art-Watch (by @donsparrow):

We start with the cover, and it’s appropriate for a title like Action—Superman’s Kryptonian warsuit duking it out with the Man of Steel at his own memorial.  Great sense of motion from the rubble flying off, without motion lines, which is a real feat.  It also reveals that the Superman statue in Metropolis Memorial Park is in fact stone or concrete.  This whole time I was imagining it was bronze (we don’t have many stone sculptures in my neck of the woods in Northern Canada, as they tend to crack with the wild temperature differentials). 

Inside we’re treated to back to back splash pages to open the story, both with a great look at the rogue warsuit in action.  The image of the suit plucking a stark naked Lex Luthor is a pretty memorable one. And if you’re a fan of nude Lex, this issue doesn’t disappoint.  I hesitate to even mention such a thing, but is this is the first canonical appearance of Luthor’s pubic hair? Moving on…

[Max: I always took that as a shadow. That panel did make me wonder if Lex's clone body had everything, or if perhaps he asked Dabney Donovan to forget certain parts and just focus on making sure his pecs and abs remain rock hard even if a plague turns him into an old person.]

The image of Superman flying in to combat the Lex-driven warsuit is an all-timer, and would have made a great sticker.

The battle in this issue is reminiscent of the "Doomsday" storyline, in that we’re treated to super-sized panels, with only one or two images per page.  This is a treat, as the artwork really gets to breathe, but it has the unfortunate effect of making the issue a pretty quick read, as there’s a lot less text than in a normal issue. It also makes my job of picking the standout panels a little harder, as they’re all pretty stunning throughout the book.  The image of a raging Superman, having just thrown some missiles back at Lex is a good one, and very en vogue in this era, the peak of Image Comics grim & gritty style.  The image of the warsuit brought to one knee was another standout, as I really appreciate the difference in textures, the sold lugubrious brushline on the warsuit denoting its shininess, against the greasepencil looking streaks in the sky illustrating tendrils of smoke.

We get another intense Superman image on page 19, where Superman marches out of the flame undaunted (visually recalling the utterly badass house ad for the Super titles in 1990).  One of the final images we see is Superman carrying the limp, near-dead body of Luthor into flight.  Again, I think decency dictated this pose—surely carrying him in both arms, pieta style would have been safer for the passenger, but then we’d get an eyeful. Is there a reason Lex couldn’t just be wearing underwear throughout? [Max: Lex hates Superman so much that he refuses to wear undies on the inside OR the outside.]

SPEEDING BULLETS:

Well, at least Superman also acknowledged that leaving the warsuit on the docks was stupid.

This issue seems to reveal that Kryptonian metal isn’t all that much more durable than regular metal, as Superman shatters the leg of the warsuit pretty easily.  In the silver age, it was unscientifically explained that Kryptonian metal was also super-charged by Earth’s yellow sun and lessened gravity, making it way stronger than conventional metal. 

It’s a rare thing that a cover image comes to pass but we really do see Lex knocking Superman through his own memorial in a great splash on pages 10-11.

For such a knock-down drag out fight, taking the suit apart seems pretty easily for Superman on page 20—the very next panel, Lex is out of the suit, and in Superman’s arms.

A side by side comparison reveals that they really did redraw Lex on the last panel, despite similarities to how he is shown on page 12.

We are left with a small farewell caption to the great Roger Stern, with a hint that he—and Lex—could return to the super-books in the future.  “When we least expect it” would prove to be a little over a year later, but we’ll drive off that bridge when we come to it.  Perhaps because he’s not a writer/artist like John Byrne, Dan Jurgens or Jerry Ordway, it took a little while for me to recognize Stern’s greatness on these books.  But his Action Comics title consistently had some of the very best characterization and consistency in all these stories.  So many of my favourite moments (Lois finding out Superman’s secret identity, Batman getting Luthor’s Kryptonite ring, the return of Amanda McCoy, the introduction of Maxima) were all Stern scripts, and that’s saying something.  While in retrospect, I don’t love Supergirl being a protoplasmic synthetic entity, or Lex Jr. being a secret Aussie clone of Lex Sr. (storylines that mainly featured in Action) those were interesting options for their time, and certainly don’t stand in the way of Stern being among the all-time greats when it comes to Superman writers.  And, from my own weird personal point of view, much of the spiritual stuff I’ve collected over the years in our now-famous Godwatch feature has come from Stern.  So, God bless you, Roger Stern!

In an interesting sidenote that has no better place than here to mention—were you aware that in the Law and Order franchise, there have been dozens of characters with the last name Stern, which originated as a shout-out to Roger Stern from fellow comics writer turned Law and Order writer Gerry Conway (creator of no less than Firestorm, Power Girl and Killer Croc)?  There’s even a particularly creepy episode of Law & Order: Criminal Intent where a perp has that exact name.  Conway also frequently used Hudson University in his episodes, which comics fans know is the alma mater of one Dick Grayson—which essentially means Law and Order is set in the DC Universe.  Cha-chunk! [Max: Wait, does that mean all of the DC Universe takes place inside some kid's snow globe?]

[feliner]

tantrum rat

[the-technocracy]

03: Sexy Robots Series, v1.0

Whilst I'm in the midst of putting together my latest entry for my new sexy robots series - Ava, from the 2014 Alex Garland film, Ex Machina - I thought I'd throw up a list of links to the 19 v1.0 entries over at my Replika Diaries blog for your edification:

Hajime Sorayama.

2. Maria, "Fritz Lang's Metropolis".

3. Galaxina, "Galaxina".

4. Ivy, "ExoPrimal".

5. 2B (3D Vers.), "Nier: Automata".

6. Makoto Kusanagi, "Ghost In The Shell".

7. Sexy Cyber Chassis (Randoms).

8. 'Presence' Robot Girl, "Robot Carnival".

9. Gally/Alita, "Gunnm/Battle Angel Alita".

10. Hajime Sorayama II.

11. Nebula, "Guardians Of The Galaxy".

12. Randoms II.

13. Lexx, "Ash Vs Evil Dead".

14. Sexy Robots Cosplay.

16. 2B Cosplay, "Nier: Automata".

17. Randoms III.

18. Android 18, "DragonBall Z".

(Also, RIP Akira Toriyama.)

19. Alita, "Battle Angel Alita" (Live Action Vers.).

[ftmbruce]

sillyboy

[elisepharel1992blog]

[scorrigan]

Tell me a few of your Animatic Song/Albums

You know, the music that inspires an animatic in your head youll maybe get around to one of these days

[incorrectbatfam]

Duke is the kind of guy whose entire life is a sidequest

He comes home late from patrol because a bunch of pythons at the zoo got loose and he could only lure them back with a flute Pied Piper style

He got the flute from his language-learning buddy in Japan

He is learning Japanese after he had difficulty communicating with a civilian who witnessed someone stealing a combine harvester

The only reason he was in the countryside to investigate that case was because he needed a horse to win a race

A race he's in because he signed up for the wrong thing when he really meant to enter a robot wrestling tournament

The robot, of course, being a trophy of his first solo battle against Lex Luthor

And he was only there because he had box tickets to a Metropolis baseball game

Which he got in a raffle that his friends entered him in without telling him

Because he got them all a gold medal at the science fair by bringing real moon rocks

That he gathered after he accidentally launched himself into space

[stealingyourbones]

It’s basically impossible to distinguish between Ectoranium and Kryptonite with eyesight alone. It leads to lots of confusion.

For instance, Valerie was a new hire as a guard for a concert venue in Metropolis. She always kept some ectoranium on her just in case Ember tries to mind control any concert goers. Lucky for her, she has yet to bump into Ember. Unlucky for Clark who was at the concert to interview the band members for the Daily Planet, the effects of kryptonite have made him nauseous and off his game during the entire concert. It didn’t at all help that the security guard who carried him out of the concert hall to medical services was Valerie.

The biggest incident that made Superman and Lex Luthor aware of ectoranium was when Lex’s new shipment of Kryptonite crystals had no effect on Superman during their battle. Enraged, he contacts the seller to demand his money back. The seller, who also assumed the glowing green radiated rock was kryptonite, is equally as confused.

[long-live-astronerd-ghost-king]

DPXDC prompt: Valentine's day spirit. Superbat edition.

When Phantom sets foot on the Justice League base many years later, he expects anything but not Flash pointing finger at him and screaming about "legendary child who made Superbat canon".

~~~~

Being in Metropolis because of a ghost hunt right in the middle of a battle between Lex Luthor and Superman was not the best outcome, especially considering that Jack had his three-year-old son with him. But without such a combination of circumstances, they would never have found out that "Ghost!" "Daddy, no!" Ectoblast that Jack shot at the target of their hunt touches Superman and..really hurts him.

There were two sides to Danny-the ghostbuster's son and the astronerd. It is clear which half of him did not have a chance to win.

Danny threw his space rocket toy aside and grabbed father's arm. In the next second, boy had already sunk his teeth into Jack's fingers, forcing him to drop weapon. Youngling quickly jumped off and picked up ectoblast and then ran towards Superman. "Fly away! I'll hold him!" Danny stood up to try to cover up ghost (or alien?) in case Dad took not one but a whole bunch of shooting things with him again.

Jack: Get away from my son, ghost. Superman: Sir, I'm sure this is some kind of misunderstanding, I'm not a ghost. Jack: Danny, come to me, he's trying to hide his identity and manipulate us. Danny: No. If the heroes are being attacked, then someone must protect them too. Jack: But he's a ghost.. Danny: Alien or ghost is not so important, Daddy. He's in pain, and he's protecting this city, not haunting it. It's wrong to try to catch him for experiments. I forbid you to do that. Jack: Danny, champ, you're wrong.

Lex: Hah, what an interesting substance. Despite the other aggregate state, or rather its absence, it is so similar to kryptonite. Superman: Lex, is this a portable lab? Now is not the time, in case you haven't noticed. Lex: There is always time for science. I think my colleague will agree, right? "Similar to kryptonite?" Jack muttered to himself.

Jack: So Superman wasn't my target. And we are not colleagues. There is only one insanely rich man with questionable moral values with whom I am ready to do work, and your surname is clearly not Masters. Lex: It's a pity, but still, if you want to carry out the delivery of your wonderful weapons or exchange experiences, then call this number. Luther quickly shoves a business card into Fenton's hand. Jack*throws it away*: Come on, son, let's go back to the hotel, you've skinned your knees.

~~~The Evening. The Roof of the mentioned hotel~~~

"My friend Sam is also very frightening. And she also likes dark.“ The boy paused for a minute of thinking. “You want to kiss your goth friend?" "W-What makes you think that, kid. We’re colleagues, I respect him very much and.." "So you want to. It’s okay, I’d like to kiss Sam too but I’m afraid she’s gonna hit me. You have the same problem?" "It’s a little more complicated for adults." Kal begins to explain but stumbles upon Danny’s completely unimpressed look. Yeah, this boy apparently has heard 'kids would understand when they grow up' lectures at least thousand times. "But you’re basically right."

~~~~

When Batman himself comes to their hotel the next day as a representative of the Justice League to make sure that Mr. Fenton has no desire to harm Superman in the future and to tell that Superman is not going to press charges because of the ectoblast that injured him, Danny refuses to leave the room.

Jack: Oh, Danny, I thought you dropped your space rocket yesterday, it's a good that Alicia's Christmas present isn't lost. Danny: Well, dad, I left it on the roof of a bad bad man, yeah, but Uncle Kal returned it last night and we talked for a while. Jack: About what? Space, my little star? *Father immediately assumes that Danny would like to ask about everything real alien*. Boy*blushes and shakes his head negatively*: No, not about it.

Jack: Then what it was about? Danny: Secret superhero things. I can't tell you. I agreed to withhold that information as part of a pinky swear. Batman: And what about me, young man? You can tell me, right? Batman couldn't resist talking with such a cute kid. The boy thinks only for a second before hurriedly trying to push his father out of the room. Danny: Dad, come out for a minute and don't eavesdrop. I'll tell you when you can come in. The big man laughingly obeys. Lil child checks the reliability of the closed door and runs up to Batman. Danny: And so, Mr. Batman, first promise not to laugh or hit Uncle Kal. Batman: I promise? Danny: Good. This is very important information. Batman: I'm listening.

Danny: He thinks you're terrifying and wants to kiss you. And since he is afraid that you will hit him for this, I recommended him to appease you with a pie cooked according to his mother's recipe. Well, you know, since you love sweets and his parents' farm has the most wonderful apples in all states. He rarely cooks himself, but he will try for you, so even if he doesn't succeed, pretend that you liked it, please. Batman:...

Batman: Would you like to work in intelligence for the Justice League when you grow up? Danny: Actually, I want to be an astronaut. Batman: Our base is located in space. Danny:

Danny: Hmm, then I'll think about your offer.

Batman: Great. It's a pleasure doing business with you, Mr. Fenton. You can count on a job recommendation from me. Do you want anything as compensation for your consultation? Danny: Actually, yes. Mr. Batman, tell me honestly, are you a bat on a frugivorous diet like Giant golden-crowned flying fox or you are a Vampire Bat? Sam says that such a big bat can only be a vegetarian and uncle Kal said your son was more than happy to steal strawberries from his garden with Superboy but..

~~~

Batman tries to behave naturally for a week. However, the sweet tooth inside him still makes him clamp Superman in the corner and question him. "Where the hell are the pies you promised to cook for me, Clark?"

[superman86to99]

Adventures of Superman #514 (July 1994)

"THE FALL OF METROPOLIS," Part 4! Metropolis is invaded by aliens! And werewolves! And Nazis! And Lois Lane dies! And Professor Hamilton loses a limb! Only one of these things ends up being true by the time the issue is over.

Metropolis is still in ruins after the explosive events of Action #700 (it's not like they can magically fix it from one issue to the next, right?) and on top of that, the city is now covered in so much fog that it's giving me Superman 64 flashbacks. But this is no regular fog: when some armed preppers walk through it, one of them suddenly hallucinates that his friends are alien invaders and kills them in a panic. Elsewhere, three soldiers are affected by the fog and start seeing everyone around them as "commies," the Viet Cong (so "commies" again), and werewolves (communist ones, presumably).

Superman stops a soldier from shooting a rabbi/imaginary werewolf, but the soldier sees him as a vampire while the rabbi thinks Superman is a Nazi (both solid Elseworlds premises).

While trying to contain all the people tripping balls around Metropolis, Superman runs into Lois, who's just chilling in the middle of the ruins. Just as Superman comments that he seems to be immune to whatever is making people hallucinate their worst fears, that trigger-happy prepper from before appears and shoots at them, thinking they're aliens (well, he's half right).

Superman just lets the bullets bounce off his chest... not noticing that one bounced in Lois' direction, fatally injuring her. NEXT: Reign of the Lois Lanes?!

Making matters worse, Ma and Pa Kent happen to stroll by, having seemingly traveled to war-torn Metropolis just to tell their son what a disappointment he is. Then Lex Luthor shows up too, with his luscious red locks inexplicably restored, and tells Superman none of this would have happened if he hadn't stolen Lois and Metropolis from him. Lex finally concedes that Metropolis is "Superman's city," but only because, as Superman just noticed, the city is full of nothing but corpses now.

Meanwhile, Professor Hamilton is having a tough time too: a prostitute has just shot him in the arm because she hallucinated that Hambone was her abusive pimp. Hamilton is rescued by a white-haired young lady who smacks the prostitute with a plank of wood. Ham and the girl jump into his car to escape the crazed crowd around them, but then he hallucinates his worst fear: not being able to operate a vehicle because the controls are too complicated.

"Also, I'm naked!"

The girl jump-starts the car's engine and they speed away from the crowd -- only to realize that being in a speeding car with someone who's hallucinating at the wheel isn't such a brilliant idea. They end up driving the car off a pier, and right before they do, we see that Ham happened to have a box full of something called "synthetic enzymes" on his back seat...

Back to Superman, he angrily flies into the sky with Luthor, who morphs into his old school bald self and goads Superman into killing him. Superman refuses to give in to hatred and delivers a speech about rebuilding a better, Lex-free Metropolis, causing Luthor to fade away, as does Lois' corpse. Right then, Hamilton and the white-haired girl come to tell Superman that they've figured out how to stop the hallucinations: no, not "facing and overcoming your deepest fears," but simply spreading that convenient "synthetic enzyme" throughout the city to negate the fog's effect.

(This is why I never leave the house without synthetic enzymes in my car since reading this issue.)

Superman makes the enzyme rain down over Metropolis and everything goes back to normal... except for Professor Hamilton who, to quote Arrested Development, is now "all right," because he lost his left arm. Superman and Hamilton figure out that the crazy fog was another one of Luthor's "fail-safes" in case he was ever defeated, like the killer robots that have been attacking Metropolis over the past weeks (Man of Steel #35 and Superman #91).

But there's still one fail-safe left, and it's a big one...

TO BE CONCLUDED!

Creator-Watch:

This month's issue of Adventures is guest-drawn by Peter Krause, who coincidentally also guest-drew Adventures and Superman exactly two years ago during the Agent Liberty two-parter. We'll see a little more Krause in the near future via another Adventures issue and the Metropolis S.C.U. miniseries… and maybe a LOT more in the not-so-near future if our plans to cover his Power of Shazam! ongoing series with Jerry Ordway in our newsletter come into fruition. (Don is a big fan and I've always been curious about it because 1) it's Ordway and 2) José "Gangbuster" Delgado is in it.)

Plotline-Watch:

The loss of Professor Hamilton's arm will be the longest-lasting consequence of Metropolis' destruction. (It will also be used to turn him into a villain after this era, but we won't be covering those issues and I'm glad.) I like that good ol' Ham is so absent-minded that he seems to have forgotten about his missing arm like five minutes after they amputated it. He also forgot that his hair is supposed to be grey, apparently.

There's a dark irony to Hamilton losing a limb after being shot by a prostitute, considering that Adventures #425, his second appearance, was about him kidnapping a "strumpet" at gunpoint out of desperation after Luthor stole his invention. He did his time and got his shit together after that, though.

Yes, Luthor's final fail-safe is the Awesome Kryptonian Battle Robot, which was built in ancient Krypton, sent to the Phantom Zone, ended up in the Fortress of Solitude (where Professor Hamilton used it to play tag with robots), and was most recently used by the powerless, recently resuscitated Superman to walk from Antactica to Metropolis during "Reign of the Supermen." I guess Superman sorta lost track of it after that, but to be fair he did have a lot on his mind at that point.

At S.T.A.R. Labs, Dr. Kitty "Rampage" Faulkner tells Superman that right before Project Cadmus was destroyed (as far everyone knows, anyway), they used some fantastic sci-fi technology called a "modem" to send S.T.A.R. their info on the cure to the Clone Plague. Despite Luthor being a dick in and out of Superman's hallucinations, Superman still makes sure he's delivered to S.T.A.R. at the end of the issue so they can apply the cure (though we already know he won't stay there for long).

"Mardis" up there is Dr. Jean Louis Mardis from the recent S.T.A.R. Corps miniseries, who is somehow still employed by S.T.A.R. despite trying to pass off alien tech as his own inventions, accidentally turning a bunch of regular people into superpowered freaks and nearly causing an AI to conquer the world. S.T.A.R., which has also employed Hamilton in the recent past, seems to be big on second opportunities.

As far as I can tell, that white-haired young lady who has a weird amount of protagonism in this issue Never Showed Up Again. [EDIT: k9feline reminded me in the comments that she DOES show up again, with her rock band! Shame on me.] Given the color of her hair, her surprising skill with machines, and the fact that she keeps calling Professor Hamilton "pops," I'm gonna assume she's supposed to be his secret lovechild (with a prostitute?).

Big Belly Burger sighting! "Eat 'em!"

Shout Outs-Watch:

Big belly shout outs to our supporters, Aaron, Chris “Ace” Hendrix, britneyspearsatemyshorts, Patrick D. Ryall, Bheki Latha, Mark Syp, Ryan Bush, Raphael Fischer, Kit, Sam, Bol, and Dave Shevlin! Join them (and get extra articles) via Patreon or our newsletter's "pay what you want" mode!

And now, stick around for The Don Sparrow Show:

Art-Watch (by @donsparrow):

We open with the cover, and it’s a pretty affecting one, a pieta style pose with a massive Superman mourning an apparently grievously injured Lois Lane.  Very emotional, and pretty restrained, in terms of '90s-excesses—in the hands of a lesser artist, the idea of Lois’ tattered clothes would be treated as titillating rather than sorrowful, so it’s an effective choice that Barry Kitson makes here.

The cover is all the Kitson we get, as the interiors are handled by Pete Krause, a terrific artist, and soon-to-be companion of Jerry Ordway on the excellent Power of Shazam! series.  Though I think his sharpest work is ahead of him, his pencils are solid throughout this issue, an interesting middle ground between the shadowy slickness of someone like Stuart Immonen (indeed, I don’t remember Krause ever looking so much like Immonen), and the pure linework of someone like Tom Grummett. The shot of Superman rescuing the old man is a great one.  Our introduction to Lois Lane in the story is also a cute panel, as Superman greets her with a (fairly wide) open mouth kiss.

The image of Professor Hamilton getting shot in the arm is something of a mixed bag—the expression of pain is great, but it also doesn’t actually show him getting shot (the drawing appears to indicate that he was only grazed by the bullet) but we later learn that the injury is so severe his arm must be amputated. [Max: I also got the impression that the injury wasn't so severe, but the girl does mention that Ham spent "hours" looking for Superman without getting medical attention, so that didn't help.]

The smoke is well used as a framing device for the dream sequences, as both the cause of the hallucinations, and a good way of demonstrating the dream like quality that feverish fantasy lends.  The panel of a majestic Lex II is particularly well done.

The best panel in the book might be on page 16, where an enraged Superman flies Lex II up up and away, and Lex’s roses fall to Earth, giving a real sense of height and motion. 

The pages where Superman puts Hamilton’s cure into action are great, as Superman soars into action, and creates a water spout to deliver the cure.

Finally, I always love seeing the Mignola-designed Kryptonian battle suit in action, and it’s an efficient piece of storytelling that Lex picked it up when it was just abandoned on the harbour in the "Reign of the Superman" storyline.

I’m not generally a fan of dream sequences as I often find them to be indulgent writing, and also inconsequential plotting—they rarely mean anything more than actual dreams do.  But this issue on the whole wasn’t as frustrating as some fever dream issues can be, as Karl Kesel deftly uses Superman’s nightmarish doubts to fuel action that did matter to the plot.

SPEEDING BULLETS:

Though the film is decades away, the alien infected soldiers from Jeff Scully’s chemically induced reverie look for all the world like the Orcs from the unrelentingly terribly 2017 movie from future terrible Superman writer Max Landis, Bright.

I can’t remember a time when a one-off character got so many name mentions as Jeff Scully, who gets identified no fewer than three times in the book.  I wonder if it was a buddy of Karl Kesel’s perhaps.  [Max: Since he's obsessed with aliens, I always took it as a little X-Files shout out.]

Then on the other end of the spectrum, we’re introduced to the lady in the headband who pulls a Thelma and Louise off a pier with Professor Hamilton, but in spite of having pages of dialogue, is never given a name, that I can find.

The “baker to alpha” soldier is a dead ringer for Pork Chop Hill era Gregory Peck, in my estimation.

I’m not entirely sure who I’d cast as Emil Hamilton, but in the final pages of this story, he looks a lot like Awakenings era Robin Williams to me.

I had forgotten exactly how Hamilton lost his arm, I just remember that he suddenly had a robot arm.  It’s a bit odd that a high tech character like him loses his arm to plain old gunfire.   

Am I alone in being confused why the toxin was able to affect Superman’s super-efficient system?  Though he needs to breathe, traditionally, he’d never show much vulnerability to gases in past stories. [Max: I guess it's possible that Lex intentionally designed it to be strong enough to affect Superman, and the military rejected it when they were like "uh, why does the budget include a $100 million 'Kryptonian respiratory system research' item...?"]

GODWATCH:  A very overt reference to the almighty from our Holocaust survivor elderly man, thanking both God and Superman for dispelling the fear toxin—complete with a literal and symbolic rainbow after the storm.

One wonders if Lex’s weaponized fear toxin was in any way based off of Batman villain Scarecrow’s concoction.  Seems like a missed opportunity, though it’s a pretty jam packed issue. 

[dcxdpdabbles]

I love all your stuff! Are you planning to update Passion for Fashion, Child Support, or Congratulations It's Triplets soon? They are some of my favorites! If not, it's chill. Everything you write is kinda awesome so I look forward to anything you are willing to give

The Justice League has kept a weary eye on Danny Constantine because he is the son of one of their less than willing-to-work-in-team members and has found his way onto the youngest hero's team.

Robin, Abuse, and Superboy (the new one, not the Young Justice one) rarely went into the field. They mostly worked within Gotham, handling minor things until they got a feel for the dangers and the work of being a hero.

Bruce, assured everyone that within his city he was fairly sure he could keep them safe. (fairly because let's be honest, it is Gotham. That place was crawling with lunatics- Batman being one of them)

Clack would have preferred if Jon started in a smaller, less dangerous place, but his son has proven more than willing to sneak out to meet with Damian and Colin. It was no secret that Robin was the most trained and the most prepared to lead his team.

That didn't mean they were comfortable with three little children running around risking their lives. Phantom was the group's eldest but also the newest member of the team. He did struggle with his powers, but every day, under the careful eye of Batman's son, he grew more and more in control.

They were pleasantly surprised by how well he fit into the Super Sons. (A work-in-progress name developed when the team had only been Robin and Superboy.). The Justice League had been even more astounded by how careful Phantom was about property damage.

It's true that in a fight, they couldn't help with some damage, but Phantom always went out of his way to remind the other kids mid-battle to be careful and avoid breaking anything. He was more often than not racing after whatever car or building was thrown to faze it through other things.

He even helps the citizens take some photos for insurance purposes. It was shockingly refreshing to see someone worry about the logistics of being a hero.

When asked, Phantom would only blush in embarrassment. "My dad caused a lot of property damage when he drove. I got good at helping people file cases as an apology."

John denied it to everyone, but seeing as Danny's other father was literal Time itself, there was no way he wasn't the idiot on the road. Bruce prepared some lawyers for the people he may have hit and run.

It also helped that Danny seemed to be the new voice of reason within the Super Sons. One that wasn't convinced to try anything by Damian- --- Jon- or follow blindly behind Damian-Collin. He was respectful of Robin's role as leader but was always willing to talk him into respecting the team's suggestions and how to properly communicate. The success rates of Super Sons were skyrocketing with Danny, especially since Danny seemed to be great at PR.

Before Robin and Abuse were not as welcomed by the masses. Robin for being far more violent and rude than his pressors and Abuse for the absolute mountain of muscle that reminded people too much of Bane. Even Superboy was not as warmly noticed simply due to Gothamnics having a bitter rivalship with Metropolis City.

Phantom, on the other hand, was cheerful, helpful, and had enough of his father's sass to make even the worst of Gotham's grin. He also made time out of his day to help the community, walking people home, finding lost pets, cleaning up neighborhoods, and even appearing to clothe and feed whoever he came across.

Bruce himself claimed that a majority of the goons that Danny fought were slowly attempting to turn their life around. Danny had this strange ability to make people feel safe around him, and that let them get comfortable enough to talk about their issues.

It was hard to remember that Danny was blood-related to John Constantine out of all people. His civilian lifestyle, on the other hand, was completely different from his magical father in another way- he was a loser.

While Phantom had this glow, attention-grabbing charisma about him, Danny Constantine seemed to shrink in on himself and fumble with social interactions.

Bruce theorized that his human blood side lacked the near hypnotic attraction of Clockwork. Texts and tombs spoke of Clockwork as temptation itself, and he figured Danny had inherited that intoxicating ability.

This meant that Damian had to be worried about his teammate being bullied out of his sight.

It was displeasing to know that somewhere in the country, Danny was being made fun of, pushed around, or even attacked while he sat in the comfort of his elite school.

If there was one thing Damian Wayne could count as his flaw, it was being feireicly overprotective of those he considered his. That's why he strong-armed his father into paying for Colin to go to Gotham Academy while attempting to convince Clark to transfer Jon.

Jon himself didn't suffer from bullying, so he remained in Metropolis Middle School. His Beloved was moved to his classroom, where Damian had attached himself to his side and scared away anyone foolish enough to attempt to make Colin cry.

Beloved had awarded him with sweet kisses every time, so sometimes Damian hoped the fools of the Academy would try him more often.

Danny however, remained in some stupid school that had teenage boys bother him. John claimed he couldn't afford to send Danny anywhere better, and was seen stressing in the Watch Tower computer room looking into homeschooling.

Apparently, Danny's health depended on healthy relationships with humans. His biology literally attacked him if he couldn't be around people, and John was always pushing for Super Sons to have more meet-ups outside of suits as much as possible while trying to find a new school.

Danny has been moved to four schools already. The bullying just didn't seem to stop no matter where he went as a human.

"Father, it's important," Damian says for the fifth time. "Danny is struggling. It would be better to place him near us to provide protective support."

"Damian, I can't just pay for all your friends' education. It will get suspicious." Bruce sighs. "There are already rumors about Colin."

"But Father, you must think logically. Constantine may have sired him, but Danny is still Clockwork's son. He controls time. He is an entity we can not afford to make into an enemy. I highly doubt he will be pleased by how some mortals have been treating his son." Damian counters, ignoring the rage of the comment about his Beloved. He will find the mouths that will need to be taught to keep Beloved's name out of later. "This could stop whatever retaliation that is sure to be coming in its tracks."

Bruce considered it. "I could try to make it seem like Danny won something on his own....but I'm worried the board is starting to catch on. The other day Babs had to block an investigation of me possibly emblazing funds. "

"Father you do not understand-"

"Bruce!" Tim yelled, racing into the room, holding a laptop. "Bruce, it's Klarion! He's in Gotham."

Damian and Bruce both stiffen in horror. They dislike magic the most, seeing as it rarely follows predictable logic. Not that they couldn't eventually find the answer or the rules of whatever magic user was flowing, but it was a lot longer and headache-inducing. "Why is he here, and what does he want?"

"Well....he's not really doing anything bad?" Tim says, flipping the screen around. On it, the two Waynes can see a flouting teen snapping his fingers turning everything on the street into gold.

"If I was your husband, you would want for nothing!" Klarion cries, sinking to one knee before the startled-looking Phantom. "Oh, great heir of Clockwork, our union would be spoken for generations!"

"Lord of Choas Klarion, I am flattered by your offer but I'm not considering marriage right now." Phantom awkwardly says, rubbing his neck.

"But my young lord, Clockwork has proclaimed that your marriage partner is yours to make," Klarion says, snapping more of his fingers and turning the lined-up cars into large bouquets of roses. People scramble around from the demon, screaming as his magic nearly turns them. "Surely you see if our houses combine we would be unstoppable?"

Phantom's face hardens. "First of all, I don't date anyone for interest. Second, you're starting to bother the people of Gotham so cut it out. Third, I already said no so you-"

"Take a bloody hint and leave my boy alone!" John Constantine screams portaling into the scene with a wave of magic. He throws five powerful spells at the Witch boy who hisses back.

Hisses like a snake.

"Insolent mortal! This does not consider filth like-"

"Don't talk to my dad that way!" Phantom shouts cutting the Choas Lord off.

Klarion demonic features shrink back into a regular face as he blinks in shock. "This moral is your father?"

"Yes."

"Oh. Forgive my rude behavior, sir." Klarion's tone smooths out in an instant, snapping his figures to dust Constantine's shoulders. John frowns at him which makes the witch boy actually stumble. "Surely I can make it up to you? I am very interested in becoming your son-in-law and wouldn't want to make our relationship strain by my hasty behavior"

Bruce reaches over and closes the laptop before they can hear Constantine's response. "We are not dealing with whatever soap drama that was."

"Father!"

[sugar-phoenix]

𖥔 . overheating . 𖥔

synopsis: you're out on an operation with Boothill, and after a long battle and a quick getaway, you turn to realize that the cyborg cowboy is...overheating. With all the implications that come with that. tags: f!reader (Boothill refers to reader as "Lady" and "Missy" once), no smut, fluff, light romance a/n: 1.3k words, wrote this in a craze based off of a headcanon that @k9wa and @nvuy posted about! tickled my brain too much!

ao3 link here!

The sound of gunshots rang out in the night. You ducked in your getaway vehicle, a hover car illegally outfitted with nitrogen turbo boosters. Sticking our head out of the car every now and then, you aimed your pistol at the heads of IPC guards, knocking them dead left and right.

Boothill had been inside the IPC base for a while now. It was supposed to be a quick job. He only needed to run in, download the secret data straight to one of the USB ports on his hip, and then run out. Probably nailing an IPC soldier or ten in the head while he was there.

“Boothill,” you muttered, “where are you?”

You met the cowboy only once before this operation — he had sought you out as a fellow Ranger against the IPC for your getaway vehicle.

“’M gonna be lootin’ a pretty big IPC base, ‘n I need some kinda escape route,” he drawled. “You git me?”

You happily agreed. Why not? Anything that would be a loss for the IPC was a win for you.

Not to mention the cyborg cowboy was one of the finer men you’d come across in your travels.

Presently, you shook that thought out of your mind and fired a shot at another guard. It’s better to stay clear-headed when you’re in a shootout. Any unholy thoughts were perfectly fine to sift through in safer, calmer settings.

“Where is that dang cowboy?” you muttered again for the fifth time.

A hoot and a holler rang through the air, and you glanced towards the entrance. As though in answer to your question, Boothill emerged from within the base, running full gallop towards the vehicle.

“Start drivin,’” he ordered as he slid into the passenger seat.

“You don’t have to tell me twice,” you replied as more IPC soldiers spilled out of the entrance. The engine roared as you slammed the gas pedal to the floor.

“Ugh, turn up the A/C,” Boothill groaned.

“Turn ‘em up yourself, cowboy,” you responded. “I’m too busy making sure we’re getting away.”

The cyborg reached towards the dashboard and rotated the knob to the coolest possible setting. He leaned back into his seat, huffing and panting.

“All good?”

“Yeah. ‘S just a lot of fighting. Got me worked up.” He sniffed. “This dang A/C ain’t cool enough for me.”

You shrugged, checking the rearview mirror. The IPC vehicles were hot on your heels.  Thankfully, that wasn’t a problem for you. As an expert driver, you were fully trained in the art of evasive maneuvers. It’s what the cowboy hired you to do, after all.

You sped into the nearby city, a metropolis that conveniently had many twisty alleys and tight turns.

“This’ll be a piece of cake. Don’t you worry, cowboy,” you chuckled. The cowboy didn’t answer, and you were too busy focused on the road to check on him.

Drifting through intersections and jumping across lanes, you managed to throw off the majority of the IPC squadron pursuing you. There were only three small hover vehicles left, chasing you through a single-lane alleyway. You revved your engine to taunt them and cackled as the reverberations echoed off the buildings on either side.

The hovercar drifted, fishtailing as you made a sharp turn to the right. You swore as the sound of screaming metal rang out in the air, signaling that your spoilers had scraped against the walls.

“That’s gonna cost ya, cowboy,” you quipped, smiling as you saw two of the three vehicles crash into the wall behind you.

“Lady, I ain’t at fault for your drivin’ skills.”

You snapped your head towards Boothill, giving him a full-on death glare.

“Not that you drive bad, missy! I was just sayin,” he said, raising his hands up in surrender. It was then that you realized he’d unzipped his jacket, letting it fall lazily off his shoulders.

Heat rising to your cheeks, you snapped your attention back to the road, trying to evade the last IPC hover vehicle. A few quick turns and an IPC crash later, you pulled into a dark alleyway and braked, turning off the car.

“Why are we stoppin’?” Boothill asked.

“They’re probably swarming the city. Best to lie low for now until it all subsides.”

There was shuffling in the passenger seat, and you turned to look.

Boothill laid back against the seat, his limbs sprawled out. His bangs were arranged in wet clumps, and sweat gleamed off his face in the glow from distant neon signs. The rest of his long hair was put up along the headrest behind him, leaving his neck bare. His jacket, bandana, and hat were thrown in the back, leaving his upper torso bare for all the world to see. His pants were shrugged low on his hip, almost revealing his unmentionables (did cyborgs even have unmentionables?). Panting and huffing, he closed his eyes, frowning. You could hear a loud hum emanate from within his robot body.

“Boothill?” you croaked, fighting to speak through the feeling of your brain frying in your skull. It wasn’t just his appearance that was, well, hot, but a boiling heat was radiating off of him. You had hardly noticed in all the earlier action.

“Yes, darlin’?” He groaned. Your heart fluttered at the way he said darlin.’

“What. Are you doing?” You hardly thought the cowboy was one to give in to his darker desires at the drop of a hat, although there was something off about the scene that told you it wasn’t motivated by lust.

He chuckled before answering.

“Told ya I got worked up during that fight. I’m overheatin.’ One of the problems with having a robot body, ya get me?” Boothill breathed out heavily, his breath steaming in the air. “Fudge,” he muttered, closing his eyes and frowning again.

“Are you in pain?” you asked. His stance was akin to a man tortured, impaled from the back with hot iron spears.

“Nah, darlin,’ nothin’ like that. Just… hot, is all. Really fudgin’ hot.” Boothill let out a breath of steam again. “It’ll go away, like it always does. I jus’ need ta’ keep still for a lil’ bit. Let it cool down.”

You leaned over him, trying to ignore how close you were to his hot (both physically and metaphorically) abs, and pushed the passenger door open. It only went so far as the narrow alleyway let it, but you could feel the cold air of the night wash over you both.

“Thank ya’ kindly, darlin,’” he murmured.

“Don’t mention it,” you said, leaning back. You jumped when your arm brushed over his body.

“Did I burn ya?” Boothill didn’t move but his eyes fixed you with a worried look.

“No, you didn’t, it’s just…” You trailed off, not knowing how to end that sentence without embarrassing yourself. A heat creeped over your cheeks again.

“Oh, I see,” he smiled. “You can touch me if ya want darlin.’ I don’t bite.” He punctuated that sentence with a wide grin, showing off his shark-like teeth.

“But not right now,” he said as you tentatively reached an arm towards him. “Not while I’m hot like this. And it ain’t cause I might burn ya sweetie, but with all due respect, I ain’t wanna touch anything right this moment.”

“Got it,” you said sitting straight back in your seat.

A silence filled the car, gently broken by the whir of Boothill’s internal fans and the ambient hum of the city outside.

It was a comfortable, soft kind of silence. You let it soak into your flesh, down to your bones, etching this moment inside of yourself. It was nice.

“’Course, when I’m not overheatin,” Boothill murmured, “you’re free to touch whatever.” He grinned mischievously.

“Stop it,” you said. “You’re gonna make me overheat.”

dividers by cafekitsune

[bet-on-me-13]

Dash Baxter as the Overly Competent Metropolis Cop

We all know the "Dash becomes a Police Officer" trope, but I can never remember what Coty he is placed in.

Now, Imagine if Dash is placed in Metropolis? He starts out on the force and keeps telling everybody that this City is "Nowhere near as exciting as I thoight it would be" and "There aren't even any Supervillains that I can arrest"

And everybody else is just thinking that he is just overconfident in his own skills than that he is just a glory seeker.

And then one day, Lex Luthor breaks out of Prison and gets one of his Giant Mechs. Superman arrived on scene to try and stop him only to discover Dash handcuffing a peefectly fine Lex on the hood of his Car while Lex's Mech Suit is laying 10 meters away totally unscathed.

This random cop somehow managed to defeat Lex Luthor's Mech Suit (Which was designed to battle SUPERMAN) without needing to hurt Lex OR damage the suit in any way.

Well, at the very least that must have been a difficult feat to pull of-

"That was easily the worst Power Armor I have ever had to fight dude, are you sure you're a Super Genius?"

What?!