#Batman just wants to know what the fuck is going on

[cakypa120]

When Hal became the Spectre, he ran into one problem. Namely, the Champion of Magic. Or to be more precise, the fucking Champion of Magic was Captain Marvel!

And it turns out that Captain Marvel was a homeless twelve-year-old kid.

Hal:....

Billy:...

Hal:...

Billy:...Can I explain this?

Hal also had to deal with a bunch of unruly mages who wouldn't listen to anyone. Except Captain Marvel. Hal had seen mages hide behind Marvel dozens of times. Even under his cape! Isn't that what kids do? Hal knew most mages were traumatized, but not enough to consider a twelve year old boy a parent?

Hal: They know?

Billy: *sweats*

The mages were always breaking some rule. Not very important, but rules. And Hal had to punish them. And then he finds out what a protective twelve-year-old with the powers of the Gods can be.

Hal: Marvel, their spells hurt people.

Marvel: I understand, but they fixed it. We even compensated those people! I will deprive them of their summoning abilities for a week.

Hal: A month.

Marvel: A week and a half.

Hal: Three weeks.

Marvel: Two weeks.

Hal: Two and a half.

Marvel: Good. But you will not send nightmares to them.

Hal: Good. Now get to it.

The kneeling mages only sigh in defeat and prepare for their punishment.

And there are many such cases. Sometimes the arguments about punishment lasted for hours, and somewhere only a few minutes. The magicians always clung to the edge of Marvel's cloak and looked guiltily at the ground, except for Constantine, that bastard looked angrily at Hal.

Marvel: Gods! John, what did I tell you about alcohol?!

Drunk John: Don't drink too much.

Marvel: And what did you do?

John: Drank too much.

Marvel: Go back to the House of Mystery, we'll talk when you're sober. You're being punished, young man.

Hal:*holds the guilty wizard and looks at this scene* Is it always like this?

Mage: Yes, John likes to drink, and Pa... I mean, the Champion doesn't like his habit. But you should have seen the fight between Marvel and Doctor Fate. Last time, a supernova was almost born.

Hal even felt a little sorry for Billy, who had to maintain the fragile balance between the world of magic and the ordinary world. And Hal knew very well how afraid everyone else was of magic. Even he hadn't been very fond of it before.

Hal: When was the last time you slept?

Billy: Three days ago. I have a new war on the horizon. I need to prepare for peace talks or my first battle.

Hal: Billy, you're twelve.

Billy: *smiles bitterly* A Champion has no age. He only has duties. But thank you for your concern.

If the next day the kings made a peace treaty, then Hal vehemently denies his involvement in it. Billy don't look at him like that. He just talked to them, honestly!

When Hal becomes human again, his view of Marvel changed forever. Now he constantly asked when Billy rested, or what he ate. Marvel grumbled, but answered, and Batman became more suspicious.

Batman: The captain's late again.

Hal: Don't worry, Spooky, he's just busy with family matters.

Batman: What?

Hal: Two demons are rampaging through Hell again, and Marvel is just up against them again.

Hal's knowledge of Marvel is driving Bruce crazy, and it's not just Bruce. The entire League is worried about it, too. Especially when Hal walks up to Marvel and pats him on the back and whispers something. That's what Superman heard.

Hal: Are you okay?

Marvel: I'm fine. I'm not a little guy.

Hal: Don't lie to me, I know who's behind that big man.

Marvel: I'll erase you from the plane of existence.

Hal: I know you won't do it.

Hal knew the identity of the Captain. But from where? And how did he know? Was it somehow connected to the time when they thought he was dead? Hal began to treat Marvel like a father. He even ruffled his hair, even though Marvel was much taller than Hal.

Hal didn't pay attention to the looks of his colleagues. He just wanted to give Billy at least a little parental love. Something the boy lost very early. Even if Billy is stubborn, Hal does not give in. He wants to give this brave child at least something normal.

[sandrayln]

I actually do enjoy a lot of bad movies. My criteria for "worst movie" comes down to "movies that either bored the shit out of me, left me wondering what the fuck I was watching, or made me angry."

I have four nominees:

Kung Pao: Enter the Fist. The only movie I have ever returned the DVD to the person who insisted I watch it holding one corner like it was going to make me filthy if it touched me. I still don't know what the fuck I watched, I was bored the whole time, and I was mad that we were still watching it, even though our household policy is "We will watch movies people insist are good all the way through so they cannot claim we didn't get to the good part."

Superman Returns. AKA the laundry detergent commercial Superman movie, so dubbed by me because like all the trailers were Superman standing or running through a field of grass like the "smell the spring freshness!" sequences of laundry commercials. What the fuck even was this movie. I was so bored that I blanked out 95% of it. The 5% I do remember is that apparently Superman and Lois had a baby? And he found this out in an airplane falling out of the sky? I think? Look, I don't love Superman as a character as a general rule, but Superman is his best when he's his most human - something Lois and Clark and Smallville capture. This was not a human Superman. This was a stoic, alienated Superman. In a laundry detergent commercial. With his ex, who apparently was not made of tissue after all but was definitely playing coy about who the father of her child was. And his secret superbaby.

Public Enemies. Look. I went into this movie wanting to like it. And the first half was great! And then... Then there was the machine gun fight. You know the one. The one that went on for at least five to ten minutes longer than necessary. The shoot-out so boring that I was literally checking my watch to see how much longer the movie had to run. It was so boring it ruined the rest of the freaking movie.

Batman v Superman. Look, I will admit I went into this movie ready to fight, because we were watching the Flash TV show and how dare they recast the Flash. What I was met with was a) grimdark, which I am unspeakably tired of, b) oh look it's laundry detergent commercial Superman again, only this time he's wooden and evil instead of just wooden and dull, c) "Remember that really good Wonder Woman movie? We don't, but we rehired the actress!", and d) excuse me, was there an actual plot here or was it actually just "now they fight!" Absolute steaming pile of poo. Two and a half hours of my life I will never get back.

What would you guys consider the worst movie you've ever seen? Not something that's fun to make fun of, nothing you ironically enjoyed, I mean just an absolutely miserable moviegoing experience that you paid for, hated every second, and wish you had walked out of and asked for a refund.

For me, no joke, Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted. It did not even feel like a real movie to me. It made me see red! I was SEETHING with anger and annoyance throughout the entire thing, and I cannot for the life of me articulate why. I saw it once in 2012 when I was 15, I remember almost nothing about it now, but it struck a nerve with me like no other movie ever has before or since.

Tell me in the tags, which movie makes you disproportionately angry just thinking about it?

[redflagshipwriter]

Snatching Snitches 5

masterpost

Raven contemplated the hole she was digging and decided that the only way out was further down. Things had escalated rapidly. Helping Robin get his ugly cat back had seemed like a nice deed, and then when she learned it was actually a ghost, it had seemed funny to register it as Dick’s cat. It was a harmless prank to saddle him with the cat he didn’t seem to like much.

And then it turned out to be the ghost of a human child who, so far as she could tell online, appeared to actually still be going to school. What the fuck was going on with that? Was the carboy dead or not?

‘I’m a terrible person for thinking that’s even funnier. This is literally a Schrödinger bit’

Raven smirked to herself as she waited for Robin to get back with the super-secret adoption paperwork that Bruce kept in his study to cry over whenever he and Dick had a fight. He was definitely going to notice that it was missing, but she was willing to bet that Bruce would think that Dick had done it himself. Those idiots couldn’t communicate about feelings if their lives depended on it. She was going to get away with this, no sweat. She just had to keep going until the end. Sure, the consequences would get worse the more she did, but that wouldn’t matter if she pulled it off.

“I might be going down, but Dick is going to be planted,” she muttered to herself, stretching out her hands and then rotating her wrists. She cracked her neck. That had been a lot of paperwork. 

The air buzzed to let her know that Robin wanted to come back. Raven opened up a portal and he slipped through, much like a cat himself. Granted, it would be hard to convince a cat into one of those preppy blazers. It was a real flashback to Dick’s mathlete days. Raven choked down a laugh as Robin lifted his face to confront her directly with a crisp envelope in hand.

“Here.” He looked like a combat accountant and he only came up to her collarbone. God, she loved working with the trainees. It was a perpetual joke that no one else was in on.

Raven took the envelope with a smirk and a flick of the wrist. “Thank you.” She hadn’t been willing to steal from Batman personally. “I’ll take this to get filed.” She held the paper up a little higher and marveled at how light it was. This little paper was going to be so goddamn funny.

The little boy looked like a half-scale doll of a businessman with his hair slicked back. It was difficult not to laugh when Robin nodded gravely. “You are an admirable colleague.” Beneath the tightly-leashed exterior, Robin was awash with sincere gratitude and warmth, with a hint of admiration. It was a significant improvement on the resigned scorn he had for the other kids in the tower.

‘His diction is just like Dick’s. I’m gonna have a war flashback to infiltrating that museum internship program to find magical forgeries.’ 

His crisp little businessman tone aside, that was… sort of touching feedback. She nodded back at him. “Your professionalism is also appreciated. I’ll file a personnel request in a few minutes..” Raven had been thinking it over while she waited. “We need to move quickly. I’m going to have a field trip to train one or two of the new kids. You’ll be my assistant.”

Robin’s nose flared, but he otherwise did not react to the, as he would see it, unfortunate need to have tagalongs. “That will suffice,” he agreed, the pompous little pussycat. The air around him soured with regret.

She sent him back in another portal and then sat at her laptop to file a request for him on a mission. Someone in the Batcave approved and filed the request within minutes. Pretty typical for them. The next request was for Suzie, and then the last member of the group… Robin’s little Superboy friend, actually. If there were a lot of ghost fights, it would be a good chance for him to see more aerial combat. Supers were a little overly confident if you didn’t deliberately let them get their asses handed to them by someone else who could fly. 

When she was done with administration work Raven spun around on her chair and stretched out her shoulders before she got up to do a little magical research into Amity Park. The human world wasn’t generally very safe for non-life, so there might be some relevant background information. She wanted to know the magical landscape before she brought Secret there. Sure, she was already dead, but she was still basically an elementary schooler. She was learning a lot and maturing, but she would never actually hit 10 years old. Raven had a significant duty of care.

Unfortunately, she hit a dead end with that line way too early and had to look into the online resources. It looked like nothing of note had really happened in Amity Park history, so it had to be a modern era problem.

“Who the…” Raven furrowed her brows and scowled at the screen. “Who are these losers?” She sneered at the government website. They had an inventory of their weaponry on their private server that seemed ridiculous and unnecessary.  “Good thing I asked for a Super, we might need a shield,” she muttered to herself. “I don’t know if this would harm Suzie if it hit her…”

The tiny girl herself drifted through the wall not an hour later, blonde hair floating in an invisible breeze. “Hi, Raven.” Her blue eyes were bright with interest. “You have a mission for me?”

Raven tried not to sneeze on the smoke. “Secret,” she said evenly. It always sort of fucked her up to see dead kids, even if they were still wandering around and having a better afterlife than their life had been. “Yes, I do. We are looking into a custody situation for another ghost. There’s something really strange in this place– it is full of ghosts. There’s nothing in the history to justify this level of spiritual saturation.”

It was really bothering her, actually. This type of thing usually took a long time to accumulate.

Suzie’s mouth dropped open for a moment. “So you need me to act as a warder?” She beamed. “Guide someone to the afterlife?” Her smoky sleeves floated around her body in a mock embrace and then billowed out like wings. She was adorable.

…She should probably not suggest that around Robin. He might make her cry and undo all of Raven’s work to engender confidence.

Raven kept her tone even. “I don’t think that’s what we want to do, but it would be foolish not to bring you along to get your expert opinion.”

As expected, the child puffed up with pleasure at being trusted. Nurturing that confidence had been a trial, and Raven wasn’t going to let a chance pass by. 

“This is Danny,” she said, and beckoned Suzie over to look at her screen. “He died a few months ago, but on the official record? He’s alive and well and attending school, although his grades have dropped.” 

Damian was going to have to dig into his allowance to get tutoring for his new kid.

Suzie hummed, fascinated. “He’s a big kid,” she said, cocking her head. “Like fourteen?”

Raven hid a wince. “That’s right, he died at 14,” she agreed. “He was caught up in a summoning and taken to Gotham two months ago in a secondary form.” She kept a subtle eye on Suzie, watching her emotional state. This was probably a sensitive topic. “If possible, we are going to transfer custody to one of the Gotham vigilantes. I’ve already contacted an afterlife young ghost protective center.”

‘Had no idea that existed until this morning, but whatever.’

The little ghost went silent for a long moment and considered that, bobbing faintly in the air. “I suppose if they think the placement is fine,” Suzie said slowly. “I would feel better seeing the ghost. Danny. What was the secondary form?”

She didn’t smile, because she was a hardass bitch. “A housecat.”

Suzie giggled. “That’s cute,” she said, and then hummed as she tipped her face up to think. “It sounds like he was vulnerable. Becoming something cute and small is a way to be safe. I’m glad that we are looking into it.”

“Yes,” Raven said, and switched her tabs. “There are two factions of ghost hunters in this city, one of which is actually Danny’s parents. So I will be doing a home check with Robin while you and Superboy do recon of the general area. Depending on how good they are, you may or may not catch their attention.”

Suzie stared. “His parents.”

“His parents.”

Suzie’s eyes darkened. “I wonder how he died.”

Given that she had been murdered by her adoptive brother, the odds were good she was thinking the same thing that Raven was.

It was an effort to keep her voice neutral. “That’s my first question,” Raven agreed. “I don’t like it. It’s very convenient that these ghost hunters suddenly have ghosts in their vicinity after years of failure.” She pulled up their neon website. “They have to be complicit in hiding the death, at the very least.”

“Or seriously negligent.” Suzie crossed her legs in the air and hugged her ankles, bent over into a tiny shape to peer at the screen.

Raven inclined her head, but she couldn’t quite buy that anyone would fail to notice their child had died in the house a few months back. “I want you to look at these images of suspected ghosts off the GIW servers and tell me if you know anything about any of them.”

“Right!” Suzie nodded in determination. Her emotions spilled out in the air, wholesome and sincere. “I’ll do what I can.”

Raven’s answering smile was real. “I know you will.” She hit print. 

Not an hour later, Raven gave up on her books for the day and rolled her neck out. “I’m going to run an errand,” she announced. “What do you want to do?”

Suzie looked up from the folder she had made to mark up entity photos with her questions and comments. “I’m fine here, I’ll leave when I‘m done,” she said vaguely, and then immediately went back to what she was doing.

Raven nodded and went to her closet to pull out a suit. She styled herself to be as boring as possible and then took herself to Gotham city hall. 

The receptionist looked up at the clack of Raven’s heels approaching. “Good evening,” she greeted, radiating the overwhelming impression of normality and reasonability. “I need to file a certificate of adoption on behalf of a client.”

“I can take that.” The clerk indicated the sign in sheet. “Would you put your name and time of visitation down?”

“It’s better if I don’t.” Raven leaned her elbow on the counter and flourished the envelope, smiling faintly. “Here you go.”

The clerk paused, but Raven’s general aura was too powerful for her to protest that it was irregular. “Thank you.” She opened it and pulled out the paperwork. Her eyes widened and brows went up when she read the names. “That’s…”

“Overdue?” Raven asked dryly.

“All in order,” came the correction. A stamp came out and was pressed firmly on the bottom of the paper. “I’ll have this filed before the end of the day. Will there be an announcement in the newspaper?”

“No, it’s better not to,” Raven said, really coaxing.

The clerk took a deep breath. The exhalation where she would have told anyone else “It is a requirement” came out silent. “I can see why,” she said instead. “Thank you. Will that be all?”

It really felt like there should be more fanfare. But Raven shook her head. “No, that’s all– Actually, can I get more of those papers, blank forms?” 

Maybe she wouldn’t need them! But something was very odd with little Danny Fenton. If he was somehow passing for living… She might have to have him adopted via the human court system as well to avoid compromising his education.

…How the fuck was she going to pull that off?

Raven worried over the problem on her way back to the tower, scowling up a storm cloud of negativity that sparked rain. She slammed her way back into her room and was faintly grateful that Suzie had already cleared out. Raven pulled up her stub of a file on Danny Fenton and started adding more biographical information. She’d seen there was a sister in the same school, but Raven found the first photo.

“...Hm.” She added the photo and went looking for photos of the parents. Danny had blue eyes and black hair, which really wasn’t a common combination. It was weird that his sister had red hair. She didn’t get it from their dad, it turned out, who was a black-haired brickhouse of a man. Raven’s heart rate picked up with excitement as she searched up images of Madeline Fenton. Her university affiliation photo showed a beaming middle aged woman with subtle white in her red hair who apparently lectured on occasion. Bit premature, those white hairs, since she was only 39. Not much older than Raven’s Teen Titan’s cohort, as a matter of fact. Oh, fuck. A delicious timeline came together.

“And 14 years ago…” Raven mumbled to herself, feeling a wicked idea come together. Oh, fuck yes. She full-on villain cackled at the throwback photo of Madeline Fenton at age 25, when Dick had been 22 and in love with any redhead with a pulse. “She’s hot,” Raven said with relish, and slapped her hands on the desk in delight. It was the first full body photo she had found online, and Madeline Fenton was a goddamn fox. “Oh, Dick would have. He would have.” She cracked her knuckles and set in to do something truly heinous as a backup plan. “Now I just need someone to help me falsify DNA results.”

It was a late night, but it was going to be so worth it.

The adoption hit squad landed in Amity Park at 9 am local time on Sunday, ready to investigate Danny Fenton's unliving situation. 

[witherby]

Would Catwoman stop having her little 'games' with Batman after finding out she fell in love with her sidekick, be in denial about, or Dare up say keep doing what she was doing with Batman before realizing she's in love?

Oh My she's got a strong grip on me boss 😅

-🔮

If I, a woman, know anything about being a woman, then that girl is gonna deny, deny, deny.

She can't be in love with you. You're just the best damn sidekick and friend she's ever had. She just feels comfortable and safe relaxing around you. She just wants you to stay safe while she's out to play so she doesn't have to worry about you. She just shares the spoils of her latest successful heists so you can both treat yourselves to something nice. She just prefers you move into her place to make communication and work easier, not because she craves your presence around the clock. She just can't stop thinking about your soft, supple curves and what you might look like under your clothes, what side of the bed you'd prefer to sleep on, what you might sound like if you cried out her name in a very different context —

Ahem.

Selina tries to brush it off. Tries to play the cat and mouse game with Bruce again, because if she can just get a good fuck out of her system then everything will go back to normal. It's the purrfect plan!

But Bruce knows what love looks like. He stares right through her soul and tells her, point blank, to get her claws out of her ears and go fuck her sidekick already, and that he's happy for her. Ew.

So now Batman has blue-balled her, and she doesn't really feel like dredging up old fuckbuddies just to try to get over you. Because...

Because fuck, she's totally in love with you.

[omgfangirlland]

Okay just a lil idea that passed through my brain but-

I can’t help thinking of extreme simp/pining Kon and Rex borderline at war with each other trying to prove themselves (Kon wants to prove he’s more than just a farm boy/clone and Rex wants to prove he’s different and wants to earn her love) to batsis. Idk if you’re interested, but just a funny thought. Especially if batsis takes FOREVER to notice bc she is oblivious to receiving love due to her extreme lack of it in the past, ugh I love her so much.

Anyways that’s it (can I pls be 🫀anon?)

OF COURSE YOU CAN BE 🫀ANON! Hope to see you grace my inbox again 💚💚💚

I grew to like show!Rex, but I really can't get past the constant cheating. He clearly had it in him to be and get better, it's a shame it took this long and it ended like this, so while this won't happen in the main timeline, you can have a little AU~

Rex and Batsis are on friendly terms in the main universe but nothing beyond that- Rex loved "robbing" the manor but also found Bruce ignoring her to this degree utter BS.

Batsis is funny, she's powerful and a great hero. He can't understand why the rich bastard would brush her off just because what? She was a traumatized kid? He adopts them like they're warm bread! And he clearly didn't need to sell her for money like his own parents did- so his obsession starts there.

Now- he knows you find it weird- he and Eve still talk, they're still friends, somewhat, and she warned him that you may be iffy about him- but also he makes you snicker- he, not the Immortal, not Rubby, allll Rex. He sees that as a win.

It starts small, always hanging close by (because he saw you play with people's hair if they were close enough), the first to greet you with a hug, the first to jump on your crazy plans, etc etc

And he worms his way into your life, especially as soon as he and Mark befriend each other, so when Kon-fucking-El shows up at first he brushes him off. But the super just keeps showing up on your dates hangouts. He can't have that.

Rex is clingy, but so is Kon-El. They both have the popularization of being womanizers, and yet Rex can't stop the insecurity from crawling in. Kon-El is a Superman, he's stronger, faster, and the fucker can shoot lasers from his eyes. But he also sees how suspicious you are of Kon due to Superman's affiliation to Batman, so Rex clings to that as he starts working on himself. Cecil almost thinks he's been replaced when he asks for a therapist.

Kon-El though? He thinks the suspicion you have of him is due to being a clone of Superman. So he tries to show how different he is from farm boy, Kansas sweetheart, Clark- Kon likes punk and rock, he doesn't like journalistic writing(even if he does write poetry and tried his hand at songwriting), he goes out of his way to interact with the public and promote underground artists- he tries to show it all because he does like you and he wants you to like him too.

Just like, he doesn't need you to love him, he can love for the both of you. And what's not to love? You stand up to both Lex and Clark, he's seen you degrade Batman publicly, he's seen you rip alien and eldrich monsters with your bare hands- and yet you have the compassion to fund education and health programs, you go out of your way to actively partake into things, serving food, cleaning the streets, helping kids, instead of just throwing money at it.

He craves to see those smiles directed at him, so, seeing Rex making your lips twitch and shoulders shake with laughter makes him see red. If he knew he could get away with it, he'd laser that boy on the spot.

The true clash would start once they both find out the extent of the neglect Batfam made you go through. Rex finally understands why you don't see the flirting as what it is- love was never something you were shown until the Graysons, and it wasn't something you thought would happen to you. And Kon understands that the suspicion of him isn't because he's a clone- he can't help but wonder if you, like him asked for Superman to come and help and he just didn't. And he understands your drive to give friendship away so easily- it's all you wanted from your siblings.

Rex starts being a constant in your life, every day showing you how he's changed and every day becoming a pillar for you- but so does Kon. Kon-El has a harder job of getting into your life, but one talk about how he didn't know the bats were like that, of how disappointed he is in Tim and Dick, two of the greatest support he'd had when dealing with Superman earns him an open door.

The clash starts as soon as Kon starts filling Batsis's room with flowers and love notes- well it starts with one bouquet but Rex steals Cecil's card and starts buying bigger bouquets until you start complaining that it's enough and crazy, pls stop.

Cecil of course notices, but it's flowers, food, clothes, and dates- he may judge the expensive jewelry but it's not deathly weapons so whatever, he has the money to burn.

When that stops being a thing- Kon moves to trying to set up dates, sadly you're both heroes, and while he has a more free schedule you do not. "Sorry, I'm busy at that hour, and right after I'm seeing Rex with Mark and Eve-" sure you pulled out your schedule and tried to find an hour or day just for him, but he didn't quite hear it all when Rex was brought up.

The rivalry continues, "dates" keep getting crashed on both sides, and then the multi-Marks show up. For some reason, your coms are down, and neither can see you as they try to keep as many people alive because it's the first thing you'd do- but when a Mark goes straight for Rex, Kon hesitates. It'll be such an easy way to win- even if Rex becomes a martyr in your eyes.

Whether he takes it or saves Rex to get a fair fight for your heart I'll let you all decide :)

[spinstertheuncommon]

Gotham's sewist- meet the robin | reader insert

Disclaimers: use of y/n, no gendered terms for reader, no real romance but maybe later down the line for the story, not following any real comic lore, just my brain, lowercase because I'm lazy, reader is over Bruce's shit but he hasn't even begun. Reader does not know who batman is below the mask yet

note: reader has a non specific physical disability that affects their knee strength. they use an ambulatory cane on high pain days, but can walk without it. this is purely self indulgent.

Timeline: Reader and Bruce are 26

+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

"you're kidding me, right?"

you sit, staring up at the looming shadow in front of you, only illuminated by the streetlight behind him. not even the desk lamp you were hunched over could reach is face, but then again he was a wall of a man.

"i trust you can make it for him?"

you blink, dumbfounded, "i mean, yeah i can make it, but with little due respect, that,” you point, “is a child! he's like, 10 and you want me to make him a suit?!"

"I'm 12!" the small boy shoots up, bouncing over from the display wall of buttons and trims, coming over to rest his head on your desk.

"I-hun, that doesn't make it any better," you sigh. you don't want to break this little boys heart, but can you really endorse a child going out to fight crime? even if under the wing of the batman?

speaking of, batman leans further into the light, either to intimidate or level with you, but at this point you've moved passed any point of fear. you've seen this man in just a cowl and boxers to draft several patterns, he has nothing on you. and you know he hates it.

"you will be paid more than fairly, just name your rate"

"4 billion"

"done"

"wait, what?" you were being facetious, but from the half of his face you could see, this man was not playing. how the fuck does this man make money?

while processing this, batman had already pulled out a check book. you dive over the desk, "no, nononono no, B, i was kidding i wasn't serious, i just... do you have any plans..? inspiration..? a starting point..?" i can't believe i'm agreeing to this.

"I DO I DO!! Here!" the kid shoved a drawing in your face. it was one of those print outs to decorate a ginger bread man you’d see in school libraries, but had the brightest crayon colours all over it. a big banner covered the top of the page, in very neat writing, but still with the charm of a child's hand . it read 'robin' with 'hood' scratched out beside it. with green shoes, a big yellow cape, a hat with a feather, a red tunic and-

"what colour did you want the pants to be, hun?"

"I don't want any! i want a leotard!"

you sit, silently blubbering like a fish. once you had some semblance of comprehension, you immediately flick to the bat.

you're letting him go out, with no pants? the amount of time over the last 3 years you've spent with him, he should be well aware of what you say with your eyes.

and he was.

and he did nothing about it. he had the audacity to shrug.

you right about jumped out of your seat to strangle this man. you don't care if you're knee gives out, and you really don't care who he was, he needed someone out there to smack some sense into him, and if it was you, it will be you (you would later find out that someone was trying to, but B is as stubborn as he is quiet).

"mm ok, how bout i cut you a deal, hun? can we settle on some tights?"

he thought about it. he thought hard about it. he thought so hard his face scrunched along with it. he thought so hard you were sure he had stopped breathing and was about to turn blue.

"kid, i ca-"

"OKAY!!" he almost nocks himself over with how aggressively he threw his head back. this is the kid the bat wants to take out? i mean, if this is the energy he has at 2am then i guess?

you really didn't know anymore. but you're not out there, and the crime has gone down since batman jumped on the scene, and you're not the one in the kevlar spandex suit.

no,

you just make the kevlar spandex suits.

But money's tight.

no one buys from a 26 year old sewist with student debts up to their ears. no one comes to a shop so close to crime alley to fix their high priced suits and dresses, or commission one, carting wads of money thieves can sniff on their collars.

money's tight.

so you offer up 800 dollars.

he's a small kid, it won't cost much on your side.

the bat slides you a check, one you've seen before. always anonymous, and always twice as much as you offer.

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Hello!

This is like, my first fanfic that is actually seeing public light, so that's cool.

Gothams Sewist is a series, so follow me or the tag to stay updated if u like my work,

Thanks for reading!

-Spinster

Do not copy, steal or repost my work! Thanks!

[trans-masc-michelangelo]

I'm a Birdflash shipper (Wally West/Dick Grayson to be exact)

Like, it is my otp

It is my FAVORITE ship to ever exist

But I also headcannon that Dick Grayson is, like, "pretty person... Holy shit, I can't breathe. I can't talk... What the fuck is going on with me??"

Young Justice is what I'm currently fixated on soo

And in yj, Robin and KF are just... so close and are just so happy around each other (for the most part) and the only way I can see Dick being a flustered, stuttery mess when he's near someone he finds attractive and/or has a crush on and fit birdflash into that is if it's more of a gradual thing.

Like, Robin met KF when he was 11 and Kid Flash was 13. He immediately wanted to be friends with him, stay in touch with him, be as close and friendly as possible to this wonderful, bubbly, motormouth boy that makes his chest feel warm because he's someone that gets it. Gets being beat up on a school night by the latest Rogue who thought it was ok to hit a kid and cackle (just Gotham? Yeah, that's fair) who has to go to school on not enough sleep but still happy and having to play the part.

Robin was so happy to have a friend, but Batman didn't let him see his new friend much. He said it was to keep him safe, but what could a kid who can't even keep what his mom made for dinner last night to himself for more than five minutes after seeing each other again do to him?

Robin teaches Kid Flash some flips to help with him fighting the Rogues because he's not as fast as his uncle yet, but hopefully soon! Kid Flash is just happy to have the Robin teach him some moves to fight the bad guys better.

Then they start the Team.

They see each other more often, they're getting closer and closer to being best friends. Not just best hero friends. But actual best friends.

Robin notices that when Miss M shifted into Kid Flash on that first day in Bioship that it made something in his chest click. Not obvious, no. He just thought Miss M really pulled off the speedster look! That's it!

But then Wally starts flirting with M'gann more instantly. And Robin can tell that he actually has a thing for Artemis, despite their rocky introduction. And... It hurts? Why does it hurt that his best friend is attracted to one of their teammates but can't tell because she's a bit confrontational? It's second hand embarrassment! That's it! He's embarrassed on Wally's behalf because he can't tell!

Then New Year's happens. Wally picks Artemis up saying, "I should've done this a long time ago." And Artemis smirks with a chuckle closer to a giggle instead and responds, "no kidding."

Then they kiss.

Robin's in... Shock. Why isn't he happy? His best friend finally figured out that he liked Artemis, so why does it feel like his heart's being ripped out?

Before he can process more, Zatanna pulls him into a kiss of her own.

He kisses back, because he doesn't know what else to do right now.

After days of processing, he realizes he's in love with his best friend. He's in love with Wally West.

Later, Wally and Artemis quit the Team.

Wally dies.

Nightwing goes no contact with the Team.

The Orphanage, and everyone finding out that he was in love with Wally. He was in love and he didn't know until he was sweeping the girl of his dreams off her feet in the Watchtower on New Year's and kissing her.

Now they know.

And he can't decide how to feel.

Aside from scared and ashamed.

[nelkcats]

Be Not Afraid

Danny's forms were pretty stable in the Infinite Realms, and well, his own dimension. The problem was when he had to run certain errands elsewhere (Clockwork's fault) and the universes didn't know where to put him.

Despite having two defined forms in his original dimension. The other dimensions seemed to decide that Danny didn't need that, and his humanity had to go, or something. The halfa couldn't understand it.

So of course, he ended up looking very amorphous and strange when he traveled to other dimensions. Sometimes with multiple eyes, at other times his body was made of pieces of ice, there were times when he was just a toxic green eye that glowed and blinded whoever saw it. The only thing that remained constant was that he didn't look human. Which made most of his tasks difficult. People feared the unknown after all.

When he arrived in the DC universe he didn't expect a welcoming committee. He even told them "Be not afraid" the moment he landed on a crowded street, but apparently that was counterproductive, since they classified him as some kind of avenging angel.

With a sigh, Danny kept exploring and the strangest things happened to him: Two glowing rings chased him everywhere (One was black and the other was white, but he had a feeling that taking them wouldn't be the smartest move, the ring and the crown were very jealous since he was crowned after all)

And a British magician... flirted with him? Danny was pretty sure the hellbazer was seeing him as eyes and ice floating but that didn't seem to stop him from trying. The halfa didn't know if he was flattered or worried.

Anyway, he couldn't find Dr. Fate, nor "Justice League Dark", whatever it was. But the wizard, Constantine, was willing to take him on a date. The rings continued to follow him while some people with green rings looked in the background (they looked strangely scared) and a new religion had been created for "The Great One" which reminded him of Frostbite.

Traveling was hard.

[onnahu]

Batkids in Metropolis

For context: they have sunglasses on, bc it's Metropolis, and they're fucking Gothamites AND bats so...

Cass: It's so...

Cass: It's so bright here.

Duke: Right? How can anyone live here?

Steph *putting on second pair of sunglasses*: Oh man, it gives me flashbacks.

Tim: Wtf, Steph. Flashbacks to what?

Jason: To death. Duh.

*Steph and Jason high-five*

Dick *just wanted a break from Bruce's bullshit*: Sometimes I hate you so much. Why do everything have to be a death joke to you?

Steph: I don't know what you're talking about...

Steph: I'm dead sirious.

Duke: 1/5, unoriginal.

Steph: Hey!

Damian's home bc he's grounded. He skipped school again. Jason and Tim paughed at him and he's now plotting revenge.

[science-lings]

a traditional fairytale-type AU but Bruce Wayne is simultaneously the Knight, the Princess (Brucie), and the Dragon (Batman) but he's secretly just a dad who wants to hang out in his spooky gothic castle with his dozen kids and keeps getting into situationships with the 'heroes' sent to 'save him'.

[jasontoddenthusiastt]

“Stop excusing Jason killing just because he died!!1!111!!1”

We don’t excuse his killings, you ignorant fool. We actively encourage it.

[thegreatyin]

this nemesis ambition started out a little slow but I am getting closer to finding that bastard who killed my wife, and I’ll not rest a minute now that im far closer to on his trail

sorry got in character for a second

Anyways fun ambition so far very fucked up though

congratulations on joining the murder club anon!!!! depending on who you ask the name refers to either people who have murdered or people who have witnessed murder. usually both. actually extremely often both. it's a swell time you'll feel right at home (don't mind our collective skyglass knife collection in the back)

[cluescorner]

I gave myself a writing challenge and I am fascinated by it

So basically I put the robins in a randomizer to give them a new order/role (because I just...kinda wanted to see what would happen + I like role-reversal AUs) and got results that are giving me a fucking brain blast.

Stephanie, the first sidekick who defines the role

Tim, the sidekick who dies and comes back wrong

Dick, the sidekick who saves Batman from himself

Damian, the sidekick who was never supposed to be a sidekick but would go on to prove everyone wrong

Jason, the youngest sidekick who is still the Kid Wonder

...So this is fucking wild. I've got some ideas and several of these fit perfectly (Dick's role is pretty similar to his one in canon), but some of these are fucking INCREDIBLE to explore (Steph being the first Robin is something I never even considered but tbh I kinda love it).

I probably won't write a fic or anything because tbh I don't like publishing my writing that much, but I might expand this into a full AU and post about it. I might randomize other stuff too (ie, stuff that I cannot change vs stuff that I cannot keep the same) but this fucking rules as a starting point.

[tallochar]

I keep turning this concept in my head but I can't manage to write it satisfactorily so here I am, setting it out in the wild:

Tim Drake being alerted that Batman INC is something that is in the planning stages of it happening (maybe by Lucius, maybe by Tam, who even knows, look he was CEO for a while and someone is worried about Bruce Wayne about to go public with Batman INC and they get in touch with him) and going to Bruce and refusing to let him do this.

Because Bruce is needed in Gotham and Batman is needed in Gotham, and while Dick is doing a great job and no one will convince Tim of the contrary, that's not Dick's job. It's Bruce's.

(Who also has a son who just got his father back and if anyone knows what it would mean for a son who lost their father to get that father back when you know it's not going to happen... well lets say Tim has Opinions about this [and while he might not get along with Damian all that well yet, they are in that neutral state where Damian is like a cat observing things and studying dynamics and Tim has always been able to work with people he doesn't like or even trust much, so he's not going to punish the kid over whatever's went down between them.])

And besides, let's be real here Bruce, if you want a Batman that can go around the world and pull together teams and make them cohesive and knows what it's needed to be a successful team of young / upcoming young heroes, that's way more Dick than you yourself. Would be preferrable if he was allowed to do it as Nightwing, but the point still stands.

Just ... Tim pow-wowing with Bruce over the whole sitch and convicing him to back down. Not abandon the project, Tim knows that will not happen no matter what Tim does, but trusting it to Dick, who is way better with both younger people and people skills in general than Bruce.

(Which actually is not meant to separate Damian from Dick, Dick can come in from one assignment to the next and check on Damian and this is not the time it was when Tim was growing up, they have communications all over the globe now, Dick can phonecall and videocall Damian as many times as he wants and check on him as often as he wishes, but if Batman INC is happening, and it will happen because Bruce has decided it will, then Tim can only do damage control over this)

And possibly Bruce leveraging Tim staying in Gotham (which, joke's on Bruce, Tim was going to do that anyway, but sure he'll "concede") and possibly "asking" (ordering, let's be real here) Tim to help train Damian (which Tim isn't enthusiastic about but fine, he'll make it work as long as Bruce has his back), for multiple reasons.

A bit because Bruce sort of feels guilty that Tim was kicked out of the Robin role (Bruce HAD promised it would be Tim's until Tim decided otherwise, [which I don't think Dick knew about and even if he had, the situation still had been what it was, to be fair to Dick]) but also Bruce doesn't quite know what to do with Damian (and it wouldn't be the first time he's trusted Tim to teach young heroes / guide someone in a vigilante role) and also he both wants Tim to be there with him (he's missed him) and needs him there with himself (Tim the emotional regulation parentified wonder!).

And then shenanigans from there.

[adelinamoteru]

at some point some of yall will have to admit to yourselves that the jason todd you like and have built up in fanon is not the jason todd that he actually is

inconsistent canon writing included, I have no idea where these povs on him are coming from if ur not actually meaning to do a disservice to his character

[robingivesmemagic]

robin obsession has evolved into i accidentally made like 3 or 4 fan robins im normal i think