#Batman just wants to know what the fuck is going on

[blueishspace]

Hero, Villain God 34

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*Grian's pov*

A movie marathon?

... that's weird...especially coming from Pearl of all people, what is she trying to do?... You have to know, now.

Dumbass: so. Dumbass: why the movie marathon thing. Pearl: So you caught on? Pearl: Good.

Wha- of course you did! You aren't stupid.

Dumbass: so?? Pearl: It wasn't all my idea. Pearl: You know how I told everyone you are my half brother and we were separated and stuff? Dumbass: yeah. Pearl: Told Scott and Cleo that before reuniting you were raised in one of those. Pearl: Uh. Pearl: Anti-technology small town communities. Dumbass: . . . Dumbass: Why. Pearl: Explains why you know fuck all about like. Pearl: 90% of pop culture. Dumbass: I'm not that bad. Pearl: You are mate. Pearl: You are.

Wait, you are getting away from the main point, she's distracting you! Or you are distracting yourself. . . Could be both.

Dumbass: So, the movie marathon is their solution? Pearl: They say it could be a good way to introduce you to some stuff. Pearl: I agree.

Uh... Pearl Isn't wrong, you can't just siphon from Mumbo's favourite tv programs forever. You have a feeling that photography documentaries aren't exactly what Pearl considera "pop culture"... You really don't want to admit it though.

Pearl: I can ask everyone what they are going to bring in the main chat. Pearl: If you want. Grian: sounds good.

Well now you just have to wait and see, what the others suggest... You hate waiting.

-Winners- Pearl: So, does everyone already know what film they are going to suggest? Scott: I was thinking... Mean Girls or Legally Blonde. Scott: On one hand, Mean Girls is peak. Scott: On the other, so is Legally blonde. Pearl: You can suggest two and they'll count as two different ones if you want. Scott: Oh that's perfect! Cleo: I'm thinking Nightmare before Christmas. Scar: Star wars! Scar: I was thinking of where to start. Scar: And while I'm a prequel lover. Scar: It might be better to start with the original trilogy. Pearl: ... All 3 movies? Scar: It gives the chance to know Darth Vader. Scar: Makes the moments in the prequels more impactful. Scar: Cause that's the descent and you know what's going to happen. Cleo: Wow. Cleo You really put thought into this? Scar: I thought about maybe showing the more recent trilogy but. Scar: Can't do that before the original trilogy. Scar: And we are not skipping the prequels. Scott: Why would you ever even consider the sequel trilogy? Scott: Why would you want to subject anyone to that? Scar: . . . How dare you. Pearl: Ok. Pearl: Feel like we are getting a bit off-road. Pearl: What are you bringing @/Martyn? Martyn: Uh. Martyn: The lego batman movie. Scott: . . . Scott: Why though.

You laugh, you can't help it really, you don't really understand what they are talking about but something bubbles in your gut and you wheeze. Oh, this really is the best possible outcome.

[yall-batman-fanfic]

Trouble | Batfam x Batmom x Batsis

Synopsis: Vivian and Bruce get a call from Valerie's teacher and they are in it for a shock to know what their daughter and her big brothers’ did.

Vivian has been called by the homeroom teachers of Dick, Jason, Tim, and Damian numerous times when they were still in school. Well, Damian is still in school and there are times when she would still get the call from them too for whenever he is a “smartass” (their words, not her, and she didn't appreciate the term too but they too claim that was what his classmates would call him). It was normal to be called for the antics they do and the words they use in school, they are exposed to many things at a young age with their duties as Robin. 

But when Valerie started school, while she did expect to get a call from her daughter's homeroom teacher once in a while, she didn't expect it to be something so serious that she would find her husband parking the same time she was at the school parking lot.

“You got the call too?” Vivian asked him.

“Yeah. Is it really that bad that we're both needed?” Bruce went to her side so they can head inside together. 

Vivian gave him an incredulous look, “What can a five-year-old do? This is preschool?”

“What did you do when you were five that got you in trouble?” 

Vivian shrugged. “I don’t know – I didn't stick around that much anyway, but I do remember telling my pre-school teacher to ‘fuck off’ and raised the middle finger at them too. And I remember biting my teacher's hand until it bled.”

“Any reason?”

“I was seven then, the school wouldn't admit it, but that teacher of mine was a creepy-pedo and he tried to touch me. My mom taught me a thing or two to spot them and when he got  a little handsy I bit it so hard the nurses said he needed stitches.”

“I don't think that's the case with Val, it better not be,” Bruce growled at the last part.

“If one of her teachers even touch her in a way they're not, I swear, they rather want Batman's justice than the Phoenix's.”

Bruce knew that to be true. In interrogations, Superman and Batman are called the good cop and the bad cop – the carrot and the stick. But with tougher cases, he prefers to bring in Vivian; they were bad cop and bad cop. The stick and the crowbar. And both scenarios he was the stick.

Arriving at Valerie's homeroom, they found their daughter sitting at her desk, alone, while drawing on a pad with crayons. After greeting Valerie's teacher, Vivian and Bruce went to their daughter to greet her. Valerie smiled at the sight of them and welcomed the kisses they placed on her cheeks.

“What happened, baby?” Vivian asked.

Valerie pouted and went back to her drawing.

Vivian and Bruce exchanged looks in confusion and worry. 

“Val, what are you drawing?” Bruce asked.

“Nothing,” Valerie muttered and continue to color on her drawing. 

“Mr. Wayne, Mrs. Pryor-Wayne, why don't we head here to talk?” Val's teacher gestured to her table at the very front where two seats were.

Leaving their daughter's side, Vivian and Bruce settled at the seats and asked what happened. Valerie's teacher went straight to the story, how the class was doing their paintings, and then – while the whole thing did start with Dalton Fallbrook putting on her hair and Valerie responded to flipping him over her shoulder, then her saying…

“What?” Bruce said, completely in shock.

“I just have to know, does Valerie usually hear that language at home?” 

Bruce turned to Vivian. His wife glared at him and said, “You know I stopped when Valerie was born!”

“You sometimes slip, Viv.”

“I do not! Besides, I don't use those in one go.”

“No one is pointing fingers, Mrs. Pryor-Wayne –” Valerie's teacher began.

“Tell him that! He's pointing fingers at me!” Vivian pointed her thumb at Bruce. “You know what – Val, baby, can you come over here for a sec?”

“Okay!” Valerie got up and went to her mother's side.

“Your teacher said you said a bad word –”

“Stupid fucking bitch,” Valerie said.

Bruce groaned and ran his hand down his face.

“Yes, yes, baby, no need to say it again. Don't ever say it again,” Vivian told her in a gentle voice. “I just want to know where did you… did you get it from me? From Mom?”

“No,” Valerie fiddled with the hem of her jacket.

“Then who, Val?” Bruce asked.

Oh the names she gave…

It made Bruce and Vivian sigh loudly and call everyone in their group chat to come to the manor.

~*~

“What's with the emergency call?” Dick asked, arriving at the sitting room.

“Yeah, I was at a job,” Jason walked in, and he went straight to where Val was to pick her up and swing her around. “Miss you, baby bird!”

“Jay!” Valerie giggled, but when he stopped she pouted and said: “I got in trouble.”

“Really? What did you do?”

“That is exactly what we're all going to talk about now,” said Vivian, who was standing there with Bruce and Alfred with the very latter holding a jar. A very familiar jar to Jason.

“Hey, isn't that the curse jar we had back then?” He asked Alfred. “I thought that broke.”

Setting down Valerie, the girl ran to where her mother was and sat on the couch between her parents. With everyone gathered – Dick, Jason, Tim, Damian, Duke, Cassandra, Stephanie, and Barbara – Vivian got to the point.

“Bruce and I were called to Val's pre-school earlier because of an incident,” she began.

“Who's the kid who needs a beating?” Jason asked.

“No one… Val already beat him up.”

“What did he do?” Damian crossed his arms over his chest.

Valerie pouted. “He pulled on my hair.”

“That's it,” Damian was about to leave but Dick held him down.

“Like Vivian said, Valerie already handled the situation,” Bruce said.

“How?” Tim asked, very much curious, like the others.

“She flipped him over her shoulder,” Vivian answered. And before they could celebrate, she added, “Then she said a very very bad word which she said she learned from you all.”

“Which is?” Tim asked.

Before Vivian could say, Valerie said: “Stupid fucking bitch!”

Silence came to the room. One that was so fragile that a simple tap would break, and it did break when Dick and Jason laughed so loudly. 

“It is not a laughing matter, Master Dick, Master Jason!” Alfred told them.

“Come on, Alfred, it is a little funny,” Jason shrugged.

Seeing Dick and Jason were laughing because of what she said, Valerie repeated it: “Stupid fucking bitch!”

Dick and Jason laughed again.

“Val, let’s not say that word again,” Duke tried to get her to stop.

“Well, I think this answers the question we were going to ask on who taught her that,” Vivian crossed her arms over her chest.

“Come on! We're not the only ones who say that!” Dick said. “I use ‘Damian’ whenever I'm in deep shit.” And he does, Dick would always say: “You stupid piece of… Damian.” instead of shit.

“Hey!” Damian exclaimed.

“It's not like I taught her how to use it!” Jason said.

They turned to Tim. 

Tim sat up. “I would never! Sure, do I curse whenever the gremlin pisses me off, but that doesn't mean I would sit down and teach her how to use it.”

They turned to Stephanie, she said to all of them: “Hey! The only thing I taught Val is how to do puzzles and riddles!”

Then to Barbara. 

“No,” Barbara simply said.

Then to Damian.

Damian glared at them. “I wouldn't – not to Val.”

“Okay, so no one taught Val how to curse,” Bruce sighed in relief.

“Hey, how come no one questioned Cass and Duke?” Jason said.

“Do you really think they would curse around Val?” Tim raised a brow at him.

They were sure a halo appeared atop the heads of Cassandra and Duke.

“So, that means, she just learned how to use it after hearing us use them,” Vivian groaned. “Right, to fix this we agreed to bring back an old thing we had in the Manor… Jason is familiar with this since it was with him this started.”

“A curse jar?” Damian snorted. “Like that will work. I don't see Todd having the cleanest mouth of us all.”

“You have no idea the innuendo that has, do you?” Stephanie smirked.

“The what?” 

Before Stephanie could explain, Alfred coughed, catching their attention, and pointed to Valerie's direction. There was a child present!

Jason snickered. “Is it still a dollar per curse word?”

“I don't like that tone, wanna make it five per curse word?” Vivian raised a brow at them.

“No!” They all exclaimed.

“Sure about that, Ma? Last time, the both of us were neck-a-neck with our donations to the curse-jar.”

“And that money got us to buy the new television that broke down,” said Alferd. “And some items in our grocery list.”

It was in Jason's time in the manor that Bruce realized he was paying so little for groceries and wondered how much cursing Vivian and Jason do around the manor. So much that it could pay for groceries and a T.V..

“So, any more cursing, we put a dollar here,” Vivian pointed to the jar. “So, before we start, wanna get something out?” She covered Valerie's ears. “Now is the time.”

Damian raised his hand. “Who was the bastard who messed with Val? I'll fuckign kill him.”

“You're not going to kill anyone – besides, he's a kid!” Bruce told Damian.

Jason raised his hand. “Did Val really flipping off the fucker?”

“Yes, she did. And I'm proud of her for it. The little shit deserved it anyway,” Vivian said.

Dick raised his hand. “Can I go now? I need to take a Damian.”

“I hate you, Grayson,” Damian glared at Dick.

Tim raised a hand. “Shit. Fuck. Bitch… that's it, just wanna get that out.”

Vivian sighed. “Anyone else who wants to get it out of their system?” 

No one said they were good.

“Alright, from now on,” Alfred began. “If anyone curses, it will be fined a dollar. It starts now.”

Silence came to the manor.

Valerie got down the couch and went to Damian, “Play?” she asked him.

“Homework first then we play,” Damian told her.

Valerie huffed and agreed to his terms.

When they left, Jason turned to Vivian, “How come she goes to the gremlin to play? The little fucker knows nothing about playing house!”

Alfred and Bruce sighed and held out the jar to him.

Jason grumbled and shoved two dollars.

“That's a dollar too much,” said Bruce.

“Yeah, because I paid for the next one. This is a shitty plan, didn't stop me from calling you—” he dropped another dollar “— you a piece of shit, B.” 

Silence again.

“So,” Tim began. “Does this also apply to patrols?”

An idea popped in Bruce, Vivian, and Alfred's head, and the smirks on their faces made everyone else groan. Annoyed with the new rule. 

[wickedsmille]

batman, robin, sentient super suits, oh my! part 3

Ta~ da~! Part 3 and done. (Here's Part 1 and Part 2, if ya want.) It didn't go exactly as I wanted but when I went back to rewrite part of it I couldn't make myself do it so. Welp, it is what it is. But, here we go -

---------

A little while later, Tim yelps from his side of the bed. Jason’s head whips around to see what the commotion is, bumping shoulders with Tim who has also hastily sat up.

Craning his neck, Jason looks down over the side of the bed to where Tim is staring, dumbfounded. All he sees is Tim’s bag, open with the Red Robin costume on top. Sort of strange since leaving their gear out in the open isn’t exactly Bat-protocol. No telling when a nosy or distracted maid might barge in. Otherwise, nothing is amiss. Color Jason confused.

“What the fuck,” Tim breathes as he scoots further back till he’s half in Jason’s lap which, awesome, but weird.

“What?” Jason snaps. 

Over the side of the bed, the sleeve of the Red Robin suit snakes up and slaps down hard on Tim’s wrist near the edge of the bed. He makes a high noise of surprise then he’s fully in Jason’s lap. Still awesome, very much so, but bigger fish to fry and everything. Such as the irrefutable proof that Red Robin has gained the nebulous honor of having a mind of its own. And it’s apparently not very happy with Tim if the way it snaps out to hit him again is any indication. This time, Tim pulls his hand back before he can get slapped.

“How-” Tim chokes out, whipping his head around to stare at Jason.

Their faces are so damned close Jason can feel the too fast puffs of Tim’s breath against his cheek. It’s doing him absolutely no favors in staying focused on the issue at hand. 

Tim’s eyes narrow. “Did you do something to it?”

“Me? That thing was totally normal until you got a hold of it. What did you do to it?”

“I didn’t do anything!”

“Un-fucking-likely!”

A pitter patter of sound draws both of them away from the edge of their budding argument. Back at the side of the bed, the Red Robin suit is padding its sleeves against the blanket to draw their attention. Guess it didn’t like where their conversation was headed. 

“Oh yeah, that thing is totally alive,” Jason says. 

“No” Tim drawls sarcastically. He frowns at the suit. A flash of understanding brightens his face as his mouth drops open. “Oh my god. I can’t believe I didn’t see it before.”

“Mind cluing in us pea brained peons?”

Without looking, Tim hits Jason in the chest with the back of his hand. “All the malfunctions!”

Tim doesn’t need to say anything else for Jason to pick up what he’s laying down. The events of the past few weeks make a lot more sense now. Including their current predicament which has led to a lap full of dressed down, sleep warm Tim. Touche, Red Robin, well done. He has to hand it to the suit. Red Hood is all overt action with very little subtly but Red Robin had completely flown under his radar. Even yelling at it earlier was based more on a vague hunch.

“I’m glad I hollered at it earlier then.”

Tim’s eyes snap back to him, incredulous and amused. “You were talking to an inanimate object?”

“First of all, it isn’t inanimate any more. Second, don’t act like you’ve never talked at something before.”

Tellingly, Tim stays silent. 

“Look at it this way, you’ve been chosen,” Jason says with a shrug. “Better than, I guess, since you brought the fuckin’ thing to life.”

Tim does this odd thing where he goes boneless. As in he falls limp against Jason’s chest with his head resting on Jason’s shoulder. For a second, he’s worried something is wrong. Tim wouldn’t be Tim if he weren’t wound tighter than a spring. He’s the most neurotic sonuvabitch Jason knows. To have him so soft and pliant? It’s kind of throwing him for a loop.

Looking down at Tim’s face, Jason’s worries bleed away. The content, gentle happiness he finds there, only a thin thread of bitter sadness belying it, tells Jason all he needs to know. Once more, because he’s just that good, Jason has stuck his foot in his mouth. Except in a good way this time. 

Thinking back, Tim told him what it was like when he was first Robin. It sure as hell hadn’t felt good when Robin didn’t want anything to do with him. He can’t imagine what it was like for Tim to have to actively fight against the suit. To push and push and push till he was finally, reluctantly accepted. Only to be dropped and have nothing waiting for him, ready for him. The lonely ache of wondering if he’s good enough and that’s why a suit doesn’t come for him. Needing to push past all that, piled on top of the long hours and endless horrors the nightlife brings, and keep on keepin’ on. 

But Jason has pointed out the obvious which he doesn’t doubt Tim completely overlooked. In agreement, Red Robin raises its sleeve and points at Jason.

“Oh,” Tim breathes. “I didn’t even know that was possible.”

“Me neither. Way to make history.”

Tim rolls his eyes. “But I don’t get it. Why do all of this?”

Once more, Red Robin pointedly gestures towards Jason. He glares at the damn thing because if anyone needs to shut up, it’s Red Robin. Given the genuine curiosity and bafflement in Tim’s voice, Jason’s pretty sure he’s not being purposefully obtuse. Granted, Tim can lie with the best of them, the little scamp. Jason has been meaning to get a few lessons. His gut is telling him this isn’t one of those times. Tim really doesn’t get it and Jason would like it to stay that way until he can either nut up and confess or brutally murder the impulse to fuck him raw at the first opportunity.

“No idea,” Jason replies lightly.

On his side of the bed, Jason’s bag wiggles violently. He groans and clenches his jaw, unwilling to let Red Hood enter the chat. This is a recipe for disaster. Adding in his suit won’t help him in keeping his inconvenient crush under wraps. For all he knows, Red Robin and Red Hood have been colluding together to make this shit happen. 

“What,” Tim starts before trailing off. 

The stare he pins Jason down with is so intense and invasive Jason feels like he needs to shove Tim off and disappear for a few months. It’s something akin to being flayed alive. His eyes skitter across Jason’s face, breaking him down bit by bit without needing to say a word or lift a finger. Really, Jason should get Tim away from him before he peels away the last layers keeping Jason from being truly perceived. 

Lightning quick and catching Jason unaware, Tim lunges across him to drape himself over Jason’s side of the bed. With deft fingers, he yanks open Jason’s bag. There the Red Hood is in all its glory, helmet on top of a bundle of heavy padding and armor. The lights on the eyes flash and Tim blinks down at it. 

“Hey, now!” Jason chides, dipping down so he can shut the bag before the shit show starts.

He doesn’t get that far before he’s getting full-on backhanded by the sleeve of his own suit. Wow, the suits are being aggressive. He’s not even sure what to do so he tenses up and stares at the wall. There’s enough semtex in the bag to blow it all to hell, right? He could totally ask Alfred to call up Lucius for a new suit. If Tim can finagle a consciousness into a regular suit, Jason should be able to as well. Maybe the next one won’t be such an asshole. Though he doubts it. On all counts.

He doesn’t remember if actually brought any plastique. Lucius isn’t exactly itching to do Jason any favors and Alfred would be more likely to politely mock him for doing something as stupid as blowing up his own suit. There’s no way for them to know how Red Robin is Red Robin now. And he’s, admittedly, a major asshole so it only makes sense whatever suit gets stuck with him has a personality to match. 

Tim bops the helmet and scowls at it. “Rude.” Red Hood doesn’t hit Tim. Instead, it pats him on the cheek gently. “Much better,” Tim says, satisfied.

Jason gapes at the interaction. “That is so unfair. What the fuck!”

“I told you things went well when I covered for you.”

“Apparently. Maybe a little too well.”

“I wouldn’t say that. It seemed like the Red Hood lik-”

Flipping over so his ass is seated in the well of Jason’s legs, back arched over his thigh, Tim looks at Jason. Jason doesn’t like the way Tim is looking at him. It’s less wondering and more knowing. So he does what he does best and tries to push Tim off him. They’ve been too close to too long and the need to run is an overwhelming compulsion at this point. Like a goddamn lamprey, Tim winds his arms around Jason’s waist and holds fast. The guy doesn’t go anywhere despite Jason’s best efforts since he isn’t in a position to get the leverage he needs to pry Tim off.

“You like me,” Tim says simply.

Jason chokes as the bottom of his stomach falls out. “No, I don’t,” Jason denies.

His helmet makes a high pitched whine of protest like the voice modulator got hit with a current and fried the circuitry. Goddamn, he thinks he even hears a click from one of his guns. Red Hood is a straight up thug. Which Jason loves but, holy hell, right now he definitely doesn’t. Being bullied by what amounts to a souped up, military grade Call of Duty cosplay hits him right in his pride. Forget Bruce and the clusterfuck of that whole thing, this is his new villain origin story. 

Red Robin isn’t so charmed by his denial either. The suit flops onto the bed, farther up this time, so it can nail him right in the shin. Jason makes a pained noise more from being startled than it actually hurting. If the blanket weren’t draped over his legs, then, yeah, that would’ve stung. Great, now, he’s being bullied by the equivalent of a theater major seamstress’ fever dream too. When will the injustices end?

Throwing his hands up, literally because he’s so far past settling for metaphorically doing it, Jason looks to the ceiling and prays for patience. And to not get socked in the jaw by Tim for what he’s about to say. Still, to the pock-marked ceiling, Jason says, “Fine, yes, I like you! Jesus, fuck, everybody lay offa me! This is the worst kind of peer pressure. At least I could cunt punt a peer but no. I get some goddamn JoAnn Fabric cast offs harassing me.”

“And me,” Tim pipes up.

“And you! Which, can’t we focus on the miracle of your suit showing signs of intelligent, manipulative and kind-of-dickish life? Let’s go back to you getting misty eyed over a newly minted supernatural costume.”

“We’ll come back to that,” Tim agrees, “but first we should probably deal with this. Just, Jason...”

Well, shit, he doesn’t like Tim’s tone. It’s not the voice of a man about to lay his heart bare in preparation for an emotionally charged conversation destined to end in a heated kiss and a roll in the sack before the camera cuts to black. Nor is it shy and demure or happy and accepting. Jason doesn’t want to put a name to it but, if he had to, he’d say Tim sounds distinctly awkward and uncomfortable. Hesitant and pained. This does not bode well for his chances. He can already smell the acrid, sharp scent of his chances going up in flames. 

“There’s a lot between us,” Tim says somewhere around the bottom of Jason’s ribcage. “That we’ve never talked about.” Now Tim pulls away fully until he’s back on his side of the bed.

Jason knows a let down when he hears one. He opens his mouth to tell Tim to can it, spare them both the continued embarrassment. On some level, Jason always knew anything between them would be doomed. Forget burning the bridge between himself and Tim, Jason incinerated it. With prejudice. The fact they’ve come so far already is a miracle. It’s the little, emaciated street kid in him that makes him greedy, to take and take and take until he can’t anymore. Well, this is the can’t anymore, he guesses. But now he’ll lose it all. 

The words are there on the tip of his tongue when his helmet makes another whirring, whining noise of protest on one side of the bed and there’s the pat, pat, pat of fabric against fabric on the other. His head whips between the Red Hood, disgruntled and displeased, and Red Robin attacking Tim’s leg much as it had Jason. Tim quickly scoots back towards Jason and pulls his legs in. In response, Red Robin flops onto the bed again and nails Tim right across the face. 

Jason has never claimed to be a good person so he laughs. “Okay, I’m starting to feel fuckin’ hunted here. I get why they’re coming at me but-”

He breaks off since there’s no point in finishing the sentence. Tim is a genius. Point blank, period. It’s a verifiable fact Jason hates and likes in equal measure. If his big brain can’t piece together a puzzle, Jason doesn’t stand a chance but by no means is he a slouch. For this, understanding why Red Robin and Red Hood are coming at Tim just as hard as they are at him, Jason doesn’t need a three digit IQ. 

“You little shit, you like me too,” Jason accuses, honestly mad Tim was about to dismiss him out of hand. 

Tim doesn’t say anything which is answer enough for Jason. Not for Red Robin who whips out at Tim again, making him curl up tighter and away from the offending garment. Or offended garment, in this case. 

“I’m bad at this,” Tim hisses to his suit. “God, why are you so-”

“Oddly violent?”

“Persistent,” Tim insists, glaring at Jason. 

Jason fixes him with a look.

“And a manipulative asshole,” Jason supplies but he isn’t talking about Tim’s suit anymore.

“I’m bad at this,” Tim says again, this time directly to Jason.

“Tim.”

“Jason.”

Red Robin and Red Hood voice their displeasure as much as they can.

Rolling his eyes, Jason talks at the ceiling again because it’s easier. “Why wouldn’t you just say that? Okay, you’re bad at it, fine. I literally paved the way for you to just say ‘Golly gee, me too’.”

“I’m awkward, okay?” Tim blurts, irritated and not bothering to pull on his usual carefully crafted mask of indifference. “I’m not exactly the greatest when it comes to interpersonal relationships. You can just ask Steph.” After a brief pause, Tim backpedals, “Actually, don’t. Never do that.”

“Well now I have to.”

“You really, really don’t.”

“Maybe if you’d stop being such a coward-”

“Shut up.”

“Make me,” Jason says maturely.

Jason should’ve known the kiss was coming as soon as the words were out of his mouth. Not once has Jason seen Tim back down from a challenge once it has been set down in front of him. Including the time Jason gave him a spectacular beat down in Titans Tower and demanded to know if Tim thought he was good enough for Robin. Half unconscious and bloodied, Tim had said yes. 

This isn’t so different, Jason thinks, because he kisses back, brutal and vicious and commanding, while Tim takes it all then dishes it back. More than once, Jason’s teeth clack against Tim’s but neither of them pull away. Somewhere between now and Jason’s head emptying of rational thought, his hand has found its way to the back of Tim’s neck, keeping him in place. He doesn’t have to worry about Tim pulling away, not really, with the way Tim holds onto Jason’s waist.

The world drops away till there’s nothing but the soft, barely there moans Tim breathes into him. He swallows them greedily, vows to get more of them till he’s had his fill. His other hand, the one not latched onto Tim, finds Tim’s thigh and kneads at the muscle there. One of Tim’s hands slides down and skirts along the edge of his shirt till it teasingly slips under the fabric. The rough, calloused pads of Tim’s fingers ghost over his stomach, making the muscles twitch. 

It all comes back into focus, hitting him like a freight train, when the hand on Tim’s leg can’t wander any farther up than it already has even though he knows he’s nowhere near his ultimate end goal. Cracking open his eyes, Jason looks down to see Red Robin forming a blockade to preserve Tim’s chastity. Red Robin doesn’t get to mastermind them into a bed together then dictate what they do when Tim’s making those encouraging, willing little noises.

Leaning back to catch his breath, Jason reluctantly lets go of Tim’s leg and scruffs the Red Robin suit then tosses it over the side of the bed with a growl. 

“That was uncalled for,” Tim tells him.

“You want me to stop?” Jason asks.

“No. Very much no.”

“Then it was called for,” Jason asserts. 

“Fair enough,” Tim laughs. He huffs as his eyes dart from one side of the bed to the other. “It’d be weird to do anything with the suits here though.”

“They literally fondle us on a nightly basis. I think their definition of propriety is a little different from ours,” Jason points out. 

Looking thoughtful, Tim says, “Huh, I knew the Red Hood suit was chafing weird when I wore it.”

Leaning over, Jason slaps his helmet and shoves his bag under the bed. “Goddamn dirty dog, keep your kevlar weave off.” 

The Red Hood doesn’t make a peep or put up any protest. Jason doubts it’s because the suit wore itself out being more active than usual. Stupid thing probably doesn’t have a good counter argument, having been caught out and ruthlessly thrown under the bus by Tim. 

“In its defense, it really made things easy and protected me well. It was, sweet, too, I guess?” Tim offers.

“Well, good,” Jason replies lamely. “Can’t say the same about Red Robin,” he adds with a glare at Tim’s side of the bed where Red Robin is hopefully puddled on the ground and content to stay there.

Meddlers, the both of them. Grade A meddlers of the highest order. 

“Yeah,” Tim says contemplatively. 

To poke the bruise one more time, Jason tells him, “Yanno, the suit’s probably something special because you’re something special.”

The sappy ass words make Jason feel like the world’s biggest tool but it’s worth it for the instant flush. His cheeks and ears and neck all go a delicious pink that Jason wants to bite at. Take the light dusting and make it vibrant. Create a portrait of deep reds and purples wherever he can. Jason thinks he’ll get the chance to do that sooner than expected when Tim tackles him. After a brief scuffle, Jason rolls them so Tim’s under him with his wrists pinned and legs draped on either side of Jason’s hips. Tim could get out of the hold. Jason isn’t trying to really keep him down. 

But Tim doesn’t. 

He allows it which is enough for Jason to settle his weight over Tim and forget about the busy body suits probably basking in smug satisfaction for getting them to this point.

[princessofgotham777]

Dating Jason Todd (Part Two)

fanfic type: angst, fluff, comfort (ongoing)

If you liked the Titans show but wish they handled Jason’s story line differently you might like this fic!

Hey so this is in fact my first time writing fanfiction (idk what my life has come to). Sorry if it’s cringy but also I would eat this up cause I LOVE some good angsty comfort fanfiction. I won’t write smut. I don’t think I’m gonna do requests but if you have any ideas feel free to let me know. Also of course I don’t own any DC characters this is purely fanfiction. Although I’ve had tumblr for a bit I’m not really used to posting stuff so sorry if I don’t format everything well. Thank you and I hope you enjoy. (I hope you like run-on sentences💀) (if you don’t like it don’t be rude just move on dude😃🧍‍♀️)

So story line, this doesn’t really take place in any specific universe but I’m gonna be pulling concepts from Titans, The Batman, Under the Red Hood, and whatever lore I remember from the CW shows cause I grew up watching those, then just my imagination of course. The beginning takes place when Jason is still Robin but he’s no longer apart of the titans. Reader is referred to as she/her btw.

Warnings: talking about death, suicide, depression, torture (it’s not graphic I hate gore it’s just sad)

Part Two: Fear and Love

You stood in Dick’s bedroom as he packed. “You can’t just leave me here,” you said.

“I have to go find Jason and you can’t come with me,” he says.

“You know I can help.”

“I also know joker is after you, if you came to Gotham we’d be giving joker exactly what he wants,” Dick says. “Come on I’ve gotta wake up the others before I leave to let them know Jason’s off to get himself killed.”

“Dick!” You say. He looks at you with that cold glare you’re oh so familiar with. “You need to promise me something,” you say seriously.

“I’m listening,” Dick says.

“And you can’t tell anyone I’m asking you to do this, especially not Jason,” you say. You and Dick were inches apart now, making eye contact so intense you could feel a shift in the energy of the room.

“What is it Y/N,” Dick says softly.

“I need you to protect Jason,” you begin saying.

“Y/N, you know him he’s impulsive and if he wants to do something nobody can-“ you cut him off.

Teary eyed you say, “I know, but if anything happens to him I won’t forgive myself…and I won’t forgive you. Just promise me you’ll do your best.”

“I promise Y/N” Dick says. His voice is cold yet soft, almost like he wants to say more but is stopping himself.

Dick woke everyone up and told the team Jason had gone to Gotham.

“Idiot,” Kori said.

“Literally took the words out of my mouth but unfortunately he’s my problem,” Dick glances at you, “Our problem.”

“Should anyone go with you?” Gar asks.

“No, I want you guys to stick together,” he says to Kori, Gar and Rachel. “And keep an eye on Y/N.” Dick adds.

That sentence pissed you off. He starts to leave and as he walks past you say, “I don’t need a fucking babysitter.” This was one of the times Dick realized why you got along with Jason so well. Dick leaves and you immediately head for Jason’s room.

You start searching for any note he might’ve left you. After you look in his room you go tear apart your own trying to find any message or hint Jason left you. Ten minutes later you find a folded piece of notebook paper under your pink baseball cap that says “Chicago”. Jason had bought the hat for you after you found out he was Robin.

Y/N, I’m sorry for leaving you alone but right now you being as far away from me and Gotham is the safest thing for you. Stay at the tower, even though it pains me to say it, I know Dick will keep you safe, and hell if he fails then pretty sure our friends with sunlight, darkness and animal transforming powers will be enough to protect you. Don’t come looking for me, I’d never forgive myself if anything happened to you. I’ll be back in no time.

With love -Jay

You called Jason…he didn’t answer. You called Dick…he answered.

“What’s up,” Dick said.

“I will stay at the tower on one condition,” you say.

“Let’s hear it,” Dick says.

“Call me with updates and if anything drastic happens don’t wait till everything’s fine to tell me, I don’t care if it’s bad news or good news I just can’t be in the dark,” you say.

“Of course,” Dick says.

It had been three hours, no calls from Dick, radio silence from Jason, Barbra had no news, even Alfred knew nothing. You had exhausted everyone you possibly could have asked when suddenly you remembered one more person. Jason’s best friend, not you, not Gar, Roy Harper. You didn’t have his number but you had his girlfriend Thea’s. Thea Queen also known as a close friend of yours who happens to be the sister of Oliver Queen, the arrow.

“Thea hey I’m kinda having a crisis,” you say.

“Oh? What’s going on?” She said with a mixture of valley girl and New York accent.

“Jokers been leaving threats against Jason and I around Gotham and he’s gone without me and nobody can find him…so I was wondering if Roy has heard anything?” You asked.

“Oh my god, I have no idea but here I’ll put him on the phone,” she said.

“Hello?” Roy says.

“Hey do you know Jason’s missing?” You say.

“I do now, what’s going on?” He says.

“Jokers been leaving notes around Gotham threatening Jason and I, Jason left last night to go by himself even though him and Dick were meant to go together. He doesn’t have a tracker but we’re positive he’s gone to Gotham to try and find joker alone.” “So he’s not called you or anything?”

“Wow…no this is the first I’m hearing any of this, so where are you now?” Roy asks.

“Titans tower in San Francisco,” you say.

“Okay I will try to get ahold of Jason and actually if he has the wallet I gave him there’s actually a tracker in there…I didn’t know it was there when I gave it to him, courtesy of Oliver’s failed attempt at tracking me but I’ll try to see if I can find him.”

“Okay thank you so much, call me back as soon as you can,” you say. Twenty minutes pass and you hear a knock on the door. You open it to see Rachel with a plate of food.

“Can I come in?” She asks.

“Course yeah,” you say.

“So how are you doing…sorry that’s a stupid question” Rachel says.

“No it’s okay, I’m doing umm…I mean I’ve been better,” you laugh nervously. “I just wish he accepted Dick’s help and didn’t go off by himself.”

“Yeah,” she says to let you know she’s listening.

“And I understand why he did it you know it’s not because he’s got anything against Dick or Bruce or titans despite what everyone thinks, he just wants to be good enough. I wish he understood getting help and working with others doesn’t mean you’re weak and incapable.” You say. Just as Rachel’s about to say something your phone rings. It’s Dick.

“What’s happened?” You say quickly.

“The cops are all here, we’re at that abandoned amusement park near the pier. Jason’s not here but we think he was. There’s blood, it’s not a concerning amount…we’re sending it over to the lab. We pretty much know it was him though cause said blood is on playing cards,” Dick says.

“Shit,” you say. “Okay wait so I called Roy and he said there’s a tracker in Jason’s wallet so if it’s on him and it still works he’s gonna call me,” you say.

“Okay call me when-“ Dick gets cut off when Roy calls you. You pick up quickly.

“The wallets at some random street in Gotham…” when Roy gives you the street name you immediately recognize it as where Poison Ivy kidnapped you a couple years ago.

“Okay thank you I’m gonna call Dick,” you say. You call Dick and put him on speaker.

“The wallets at 345 Ribbon St,” you say.

“We’re on our way,” Dick says.

I hope you guys liked part two🫡🩷 Please like the fic if you enjoyed it and want to see more cause I’ve got a whole storyline and backstory and many more ideas and want to know people are enjoying my writing.

Here’s my Masterlist so you can read the other parts.

Masterlist

[nelkcats]

Be Not Afraid

Danny's forms were pretty stable in the Infinite Realms, and well, his own dimension. The problem was when he had to run certain errands elsewhere (Clockwork's fault) and the universes didn't know where to put him.

Despite having two defined forms in his original dimension. The other dimensions seemed to decide that Danny didn't need that, and his humanity had to go, or something. The halfa couldn't understand it.

So of course, he ended up looking very amorphous and strange when he traveled to other dimensions. Sometimes with multiple eyes, at other times his body was made of pieces of ice, there were times when he was just a toxic green eye that glowed and blinded whoever saw it. The only thing that remained constant was that he didn't look human. Which made most of his tasks difficult. People feared the unknown after all.

When he arrived in the DC universe he didn't expect a welcoming committee. He even told them "Be not afraid" the moment he landed on a crowded street, but apparently that was counterproductive, since they classified him as some kind of avenging angel.

With a sigh, Danny kept exploring and the strangest things happened to him: Two glowing rings chased him everywhere (One was black and the other was white, but he had a feeling that taking them wouldn't be the smartest move, the ring and the crown were very jealous since he was crowned after all)

And a British magician... flirted with him? Danny was pretty sure the hellbazer was seeing him as eyes and ice floating but that didn't seem to stop him from trying. The halfa didn't know if he was flattered or worried.

Anyway, he couldn't find Dr. Fate, nor "Justice League Dark", whatever it was. But the wizard, Constantine, was willing to take him on a date. The rings continued to follow him while some people with green rings looked in the background (they looked strangely scared) and a new religion had been created for "The Great One" which reminded him of Frostbite.

Traveling was hard.

[onnahu]

Batkids in Metropolis

For context: they have sunglasses on, bc it's Metropolis, and they're fucking Gothamites AND bats so...

Cass: It's so...

Cass: It's so bright here.

Duke: Right? How can anyone live here?

Steph *putting on second pair of sunglasses*: Oh man, it gives me flashbacks.

Tim: Wtf, Steph. Flashbacks to what?

Jason: To death. Duh.

*Steph and Jason high-five*

Dick *just wanted a break from Bruce's bullshit*: Sometimes I hate you so much. Why do everything have to be a death joke to you?

Steph: I don't know what you're talking about...

Steph: I'm dead sirious.

Duke: 1/5, unoriginal.

Steph: Hey!

Damian's home bc he's grounded. He skipped school again. Jason and Tim paughed at him and he's now plotting revenge.

[magicpiano]

One thing that I think most 'Tim joins the batfam early' fics miss is that Tim, a very intelligent and independent child who has been doing a dangerous hobby for years, would hate being adopted actually. All the new rules meant to keep him safe? At best annoying, at worst he feels like he is in prison.

To Tim, he just lost his freedom, privacy, and independence, no matter how good the batfam is in reality.

"I need to tell you when I am leaving the house, where I am going and how long I will be gone? The bare minimum parents typically ask from their middle school aged children? No."

Normal good responsible parenting would be torture for Tim.

[monkesupreme]

As cute as that post is, the hc i live behind is that Bruce has been surrounded by rich people all his life and is so aware of the kind of nasty shit they do that hes like hyperaware of protecting his kids in the Right way, and that means being extremely blunt and nonchalant about sexual things they may or may not do. Hes the dad thats constantly reminding them to use condoms or buy this kind of lube for these kinds of toys and the kids HATE ITTTTT theyre like PLEASE OLD MAN. ENOUGH. I GET IT !!!!

Hes like got a million answers for everything bc HE did so much shit in his lifetime that hes a walking encyclopedia but they would literally Die before coming up to him for any sex related questions. Which is really unfortunate (for them) bc at least TWO of his children are dating aliens and old enough to Do Things and its impossible to just google [insert alien race] anatomy; the only people who have that information are the aliens in question and BRUCE bc hes the only fucker that keeps track of this shit !!! Going to Bruce for anything is soooo dire bc the reminder that he FUCKS is like too much for them to bear, esp when hes out patrolling w Selina or Clark and hes like smiling and bickering w them its like NOOOO THATS RIGHT NOT THEM TOO ‘oh my fucking goddd not uncle clark’ <- jason about to literally explode from how red his fucking face is

[autisticrosewilson]

So do you guys actually think that Jason's entire story, relationship to the others, and philosophy amounts to him being a rebellious teen who wants his dad's attention? Like are you 100% serious? I thought you were joking about that but too many of you are saying it with your whole chest.

And what the fuck is this "Bruce antagonizing Jason is fanon!" Shit I've been seeing? You guys are aware that a parent can love their kid and still be a shit parent right? I know you guys don't want to fathom the thought that maybe your blorbo might also occasionally have to face responsibility for consistently endangering children but let's not start being delusional now.

Bruce does love his kids, that doesn't mean that he hasn't hurt them. And I'd also argue that for the most part he feels in the right for it, and he's said multiple times that he believes it's for their own good, so you can't even argue that he's sorry about it. It's okay for you guys to admit that your PERSONAL INTERPRETATION of the character wouldn't do that but don't sit here and pretend that it's not a facet of the source.

[jasontoddenthusiastt]

“Stop excusing Jason killing just because he died!!1!111!!1”

We don’t excuse his killings, you ignorant fool. We actively encourage it.

[science-lings]

a traditional fairytale-type AU but Bruce Wayne is simultaneously the Knight, the Princess (Brucie), and the Dragon (Batman) but he's secretly just a dad who wants to hang out in his spooky gothic castle with his dozen kids and keeps getting into situationships with the 'heroes' sent to 'save him'.

[thegreatyin]

this nemesis ambition started out a little slow but I am getting closer to finding that bastard who killed my wife, and I’ll not rest a minute now that im far closer to on his trail

sorry got in character for a second

Anyways fun ambition so far very fucked up though

congratulations on joining the murder club anon!!!! depending on who you ask the name refers to either people who have murdered or people who have witnessed murder. usually both. actually extremely often both. it's a swell time you'll feel right at home (don't mind our collective skyglass knife collection in the back)

[cluescorner]

I gave myself a writing challenge and I am fascinated by it

So basically I put the robins in a randomizer to give them a new order/role (because I just...kinda wanted to see what would happen + I like role-reversal AUs) and got results that are giving me a fucking brain blast.

Stephanie, the first sidekick who defines the role

Tim, the sidekick who dies and comes back wrong

Dick, the sidekick who saves Batman from himself

Damian, the sidekick who was never supposed to be a sidekick but would go on to prove everyone wrong

Jason, the youngest sidekick who is still the Kid Wonder

...So this is fucking wild. I've got some ideas and several of these fit perfectly (Dick's role is pretty similar to his one in canon), but some of these are fucking INCREDIBLE to explore (Steph being the first Robin is something I never even considered but tbh I kinda love it).

I probably won't write a fic or anything because tbh I don't like publishing my writing that much, but I might expand this into a full AU and post about it. I might randomize other stuff too (ie, stuff that I cannot change vs stuff that I cannot keep the same) but this fucking rules as a starting point.

[tallochar]

I keep turning this concept in my head but I can't manage to write it satisfactorily so here I am, setting it out in the wild:

Tim Drake being alerted that Batman INC is something that is in the planning stages of it happening (maybe by Lucius, maybe by Tam, who even knows, look he was CEO for a while and someone is worried about Bruce Wayne about to go public with Batman INC and they get in touch with him) and going to Bruce and refusing to let him do this.

Because Bruce is needed in Gotham and Batman is needed in Gotham, and while Dick is doing a great job and no one will convince Tim of the contrary, that's not Dick's job. It's Bruce's.

(Who also has a son who just got his father back and if anyone knows what it would mean for a son who lost their father to get that father back when you know it's not going to happen... well lets say Tim has Opinions about this [and while he might not get along with Damian all that well yet, they are in that neutral state where Damian is like a cat observing things and studying dynamics and Tim has always been able to work with people he doesn't like or even trust much, so he's not going to punish the kid over whatever's went down between them.])

And besides, let's be real here Bruce, if you want a Batman that can go around the world and pull together teams and make them cohesive and knows what it's needed to be a successful team of young / upcoming young heroes, that's way more Dick than you yourself. Would be preferrable if he was allowed to do it as Nightwing, but the point still stands.

Just ... Tim pow-wowing with Bruce over the whole sitch and convicing him to back down. Not abandon the project, Tim knows that will not happen no matter what Tim does, but trusting it to Dick, who is way better with both younger people and people skills in general than Bruce.

(Which actually is not meant to separate Damian from Dick, Dick can come in from one assignment to the next and check on Damian and this is not the time it was when Tim was growing up, they have communications all over the globe now, Dick can phonecall and videocall Damian as many times as he wants and check on him as often as he wishes, but if Batman INC is happening, and it will happen because Bruce has decided it will, then Tim can only do damage control over this)

And possibly Bruce leveraging Tim staying in Gotham (which, joke's on Bruce, Tim was going to do that anyway, but sure he'll "concede") and possibly "asking" (ordering, let's be real here) Tim to help train Damian (which Tim isn't enthusiastic about but fine, he'll make it work as long as Bruce has his back), for multiple reasons.

A bit because Bruce sort of feels guilty that Tim was kicked out of the Robin role (Bruce HAD promised it would be Tim's until Tim decided otherwise, [which I don't think Dick knew about and even if he had, the situation still had been what it was, to be fair to Dick]) but also Bruce doesn't quite know what to do with Damian (and it wouldn't be the first time he's trusted Tim to teach young heroes / guide someone in a vigilante role) and also he both wants Tim to be there with him (he's missed him) and needs him there with himself (Tim the emotional regulation parentified wonder!).

And then shenanigans from there.

[littlefankingdom]

As someone who is a leftist, who was raised by leftists, who calls themselves a "revolutionary", who is loud about when stuffs aren't fucking okay and people rights aren't respected, I cannot explain how much I dislike the panels of Oliver Queen calling his colleagues "nazis" or "fascists" when they don't agree on something. Like, it doesn't make me want to read his comics, because he sounds like a self-righteous whining bitch, not an actual activist that knows what he is talking about. Your colleague refusing to listen to you doesn't make him a fascist, rich white man. And I don't think anyone would want to have a discussion with someone who insults them of being Nazi when they aren't happy.

Nazi and fascist are important words with meanings, historical and scientific (history and sociology are sciences) meanings. The more you use them without respecting their meaning, the less they mean shit. And like, I have seen enough to realize USAmericans barely know the meaning of Nazi, which is not simply being a white-supremacist or a fascist. Nazism is the ideology that there's an aryan race, which fits mostly GERMAN traits, superior to everyone else, with a ton of eugenics. It isn't just antisemitism, it isn't just white-supremacy, the Nazis did not like most of white people, they destroyed historical and cultural objects from european cultures for not being "aryan". My grandparents' trauma from the occupation shows that quite well. So, Oliver Queen calling Flash "a nazi" because he disagree with how to handle a situation isn't funny or cool, it's tiring and wrong. No, your red-haired, probably doesn't know a word of german, colleague isn't a Nazi. And he isn't a neo-nazi ever, which are more open to white people without tie to German culture but still use the symbolism, because he is still not doing Nazi shit.

Again, these terms aren't insults, they have meanings. Marine Le Pen, a French politician, is a Nazi because her party was created by her father and his Nazi and SS friends, and she sees Hitler as family. I am not a Nazi for wearing all black (yes, this did happened), supporting Palestine (also happened), or telling people that not voting isn't helping at all (just last week).

I would have no issues with Oliver criticizing his colleagues being controlling and abusing their power or authority, I would love that, I'm big on criticizing abuse of power and authority, but he needs to be written doing that, not just calling them "nazi" and "fascist". That's not what they are doing. And also, if you think one of your colleagues is a fascist or a nazi and the JL is letting them in control, WTF ARE YOU STILL WORKING WITH THEM??? (That's my point that he's using these terms like insults)

I can hear y'all: "You're just mad he called Batman a fascist, because you love Batman!" And like, there's a lot to talk about on Bruce's and Batman’s morality, but at the end of the day, DC is an usamerican company. Of course fascist points are going to be encouraged, this is the USA we are talking about. They cannot write a story without it, it's taught to them since birth from the imperialism and nationalism combo. And also, a good written Batman isn't a fascist, he is literally against the death penalty or even letting criminals die, which is supported HEAVILY by fascism. Like, call him out for thinking he is always right, go for it, but that's not fascism.

[martyrbat]

habeas corpus – detective comics #1086

(ID in alt!)