#BatLantern

[sreppub]

batlantern… snopgle and lame slowdances

[lovesick-joey]

smooch

[witherby]

Thinking naughty Brucie Wayne thoughts cause you KNOW he sluts around in order to maintain that playboy reputation.

Imagining Brucie on an evening gossip show and he's playing a game where he's sharing light-hearted secrets with the host. It's called some shit like...I dunno, "I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours!"

"Okay, we gotta be careful with the wording here because we're on live television," the host laughs, "but I have a question."

"Ask me anything, baby, I'm an open book," Bruce purrs. The live studio audience whistles and cheers.

"What's your darkest sexual fantasy? I'll tell you mine —"

"IF YOU TELL ME YOURS!!" The audience shouts, clapping and cheering with ridiculous enthusiasm. Bruce, who has impeccable control over his body's nervous system, turns beet red and covers his face. His heartbeat is still as steady as a war drum. World's Greatest Detective and also World's Best motherfuckin Actor.

"oh shit," he mutters. The cheering gets even louder. "I can't say it out loud. I've never told anybody this before, it's insane."

The host is Locked The Fuck In. Exclusive information nobody else has about Brucie Wayne, Gotham's precious prince? He can smell the trending hashtags already.

"Oh?" He goads, grinning and leaning forward in his chair. "Is it really bad? Brucie, you dog! I didn't know you had it in you! We gotta know, now!"

"Skip," Bruce says shyly, "next question!"

The audience boos and starts chanting some iteration of "tell us! Tell us!" The host shushes them and says it's fine, he'll go first and they'll both be a little embarrassed about it. No big deal, it's just a fun game! What's a little spicy secret between friends, we're all friends here, it's fine!

The host's is boring. Something like Toes or edible underwear. Bruce shyly says he can't say it, and asks if he can write it down instead. The host is like yes, absolutely, someone fetch this man a pen and paper RIGHT NOW.

Brucie writes it down. The host reads it. He gasps.

"Okay everybody, shhh. This says...I want to — BRUCE?"

Bruce reddens more and is as curled up as he can possibly get in his big chair. The audience is feral at this point.

"It says "I want a priest to give his virginity to me." Bruce Thomas Wayne!!!"

There's an uproar. People are whistling. Women are screaming. Catholics are clutching their pearls. There's so much clapping. Some people are laughing. When everybody settles down enough to let him explain, Bruce, still red in the face, just stares meekly at the ground and mutters:

"I dunno, it's so wicked. I wanna be like Lucifer with the apple. I want a son of God to turn away from His light and be tempted into my bed. If God is actually homophobic and being gay gets you sent to Hell, — first of all, fuck that guy — and second of all, at the very least I want him to get a taste of Heaven in the sheets, y'know?"

#DamnedByBrucie is the number one trending topic for the next four days. Priests are coming out of the woodwork and sending him genuine offers to take their virginity. Hal buys a priest outfit immediately. Bruce is so down to roleplay this even though that wasn't even close to his darkest sexual fantasy.

[cosmics-crusader]

💚💫 INTRO 💫💚

https://batlantern.straw.page

"In brightest day, in blackest night, no evil shall escape my sight."

Hal Jordan; he/him. World's Greatest Green Lantern.

《 batlantern/superlantern/superbatlantern PLEASE interact 》

uhh hi myname is richard my main is @sculkrelic

NSFW/PROSHIP DNI

new to rpblr please be nice,, uhh i am a minor so weirdos fuck off

[diavorchid]

I forgot sometime last year i made these batlantern chat while rereading Fabularasa fics...

someone pls remind me which fic is the above texts is from lol. but the next images I'm absolutely sure it's from 'A Time and A Place'.

[screechingsweetswombat]

MERDE, Bats?

OK, ca va, ca va, c'est bien...

NO, ce n'est pas bien, je n'arrive pas à croire à cette beauté, je meurs. C'est de l'amour, sans aucun doute, c'est de l'amour.

[asilentguardian]

fuck it, superbat dping hal

[uglynavel]

I wanna know where people have lately gotten the audacity to leave comments on fanfics talking about how much the fanfic sucked and negatively critiquing an author's fic like it's a published book review.

It pisses me off cause I've seen authors abandoned or delete their fics because of this.

You're getting fanfics for FREE! No one asked for your opinion.

I hope y'all know as authors we get email notifications when you comment so we see EVERY comment that's been left.

We also can see the negative reviews you leave when you bookmark our fics

[logicallyblind]

I'm sorry, we as a society do not talk about the fact that in order to maintain his playboy billionaire status Bruce Wayne had to sleep with a lot of people,, a lot, of people in order to maintain that.

And I'm not shaming him for that, get your hot girl summer brucie hell yea, but what I will say is can you imagine,,,

How hilarious it would be that when eventually Batman's identity gets revealed- it's not the reaction he was expecting.

‘‘Oh my god. Oh my god, Bruce Wayne Bruce Wayne the the bimbo Sexy billionaire boy. He is the stoic hard-ass Batman. There's no way-”that's not the reaction. The reaction is

“holy fucking shit I've slept with Batman”

Three quarters of that city and beyond is sat in front of their TVs, their radios, their phones,, I don't care. They're sitting there, agape going ‘I have slept with the Dark Knight. I have seen Gotham's Bat naked on his knees-‘

bruce wouldn’t be able to look the justice league nor his kids in the eyes for weeks after the reveal, solely due to the gossip channels or smth

[wonderwoona]

…yeah to be honest i think i destroyed with this one

[sreppub]

obsessed with the batlantern+miserable clark dynamic it lives in my head now. perhaps someone's already asked you this but do you think it would eventually become superbatlantern or would clark forever be gnashing his teeth in the background (poor dude but funny) love ur art!!!<3

I didn't plan on superbatlantern but I'm a multishipper, so, never say never! If Clark can get over himself and say something instead of assuming he and Bruce were inevitable.

Maybe he joins them. Maybe he moves on, finds someone else.... tons of Clark ships out there :)

[lovesick-joey]

yay!!!!

[witherby]

infecting you with single dad hal batlatern 🌀🌀🌀 batkids meeting Bruce and separately giving him the dont hurt our dad talk oooo not even planned between them but it's concreted to bruce at that point

teehee

--🎆

🌀👄🌀 oh god oh no oh geez

Dick mails Bruce an extensive background check he did on him with the note "your history's clean on the surface, but that doesn't mean you don't have skeletons in your closet."

Tim just says if he breaks up with Hal then he's not giving any of the tech back, in fact if it's a bad breakup or Bruce cheats then he's gonna create a smear campaign all over the internet.

Bruce finds Jason digging a big-ass hole on the Manor grounds. When he asks him about it, Jason says it'll be his grave if he upsets his dad.

Damian says all animals and critters are his special interest, not just cute little dogs and cats, and that if Bruce upsets Hal then he's suddenly gonna have to deal with a gigantic termite problem that'll most likely destroy his home.

Hal grounds them all and profusely apologizes to Bruce, who just thinks it's really sweet how much the kids love their dad.

"Jason threatened to kill you??"

"Yeah, but for love. That's adorable."

"Oh my god."

[demonicsuffrage]

At the justice league watchtower

Batman, pouring coffee into his cup listlessly, looking more depressed than usual:

Hal: What's up with him? He's been like that all morning

Clark, whispering: Robin left on a mission with the titans

Hal, in a deliberately loud stage whisper: So Bat's got empty nest syndrome, huh?

Bruce:

Hal: Get it? Empty nest, because he's a bird-

Bruce, taking out the Bat-green-lantern repellant:

[frownyalfred]

it’s like half-formed in my head thanks to tiktok but there’s a batlantern bootycall scenario somehow where Jason locks Hal out of the Batcave because “I know our third amendment rights, even if Bruce doesn’t” which amuses Hal for all of ten seconds before he realizes that Jason is 100% serious.

[blackbatofel]

Don't question him, Bruce. He's got the willpower to do it.

(Once I saw the "I knew I could take you two" panel I knew this meme had to be made)