#Bartholomew Oobleck

[sasasafeier]

[arc-misadventures]

Hey I have an idea for an AU I saw on YouTube a Guardian Beast au do you think you can pull this off

Lord of Beasts

Ozpin: Alright students... You are the lucky few who have been granted the powers of a, Spiritual Beast. Now, you've all come here to learn to control your powers. An untrained, Spiritual Beast Master can be a danger both to themselves, and others. So before we begin your lessons, please show us your, Spiritual Beast's.

Jaune: W-Wait... w-w-we gotta show our beasts...?! Why?!

Glynda: It is best if we know what your, Spiritual Beasts are so we may best help you learn to master their powers. Some, Spiritual Beasts require more precise training to master. As well we will know what dangerous those particular beast may entail.

Jaune: But, do we have to show you who they are...? I-I mean you know I have spiritual powers, why do I have to show you any more than that?

Glynda: For ours, and more importantly your safety, Mr. Arc. We need to prepare for whatever incidents may occur because of your, Spiritual Beasts powers.

Jaune: Curse you, and your sound, logical reasoning...

Ozpin: Alright, let us begin then... Ruby Rose?

Ruby: Sir!

Ozpin: Will you please summon your, Beast please?

Ruby: Okay!

Ruby put her hands together as a swirl of black clouds whirled around her, before she thrust them forward, a shouted her, Beasts name.

Ruby: Zwei! I summon you!

From within her shadow emerged a beast before darting around, Ruby, and appearing in front of her. What appeared was a silver, black wolf, who barked at the ensembled teachers.

Oobaleck: A Shadow Wolf? Impressive, Miss Rose.

Port: Ahh yes, we will have to teacher her all about shadow, and wind magic then. This shall be most exciting!

Ozpin: Well done, Miss. Rose. Now then, Miss Xiao Long?

Yang: On it!

Yang did the same as her little sister, and held out her hands, but instead of a black mist red flames flying in the wind swirled around her. She pushed her hands out, and shouted:

Yang: Come forth: Ember Celica!

A plume of fire appeared before, Yang, that flew up in the air, before a bird of fire landed on her out stretched arm.

Glynda: A phoenix... no, an, Eternal Flame Phoenix!

Ozpin: It's rare to see such a bird, since they are so passionate, and noble they rarely choose a master. Well done, Miss Xiao Long.

Yang: Thank you, Sir!

Ozpin: Alright, on to the next...

~~~

Port: I must say we, have a most promising crop of, Spiritual Masters this year!

Peach: I must agree! We have a vast array of magic to be taught this year! I am especially looking forward to all the healing, Spiritual Beasts, and their masters I must teach this year.

Glynda: Yes, I am looking forward to teaching, Miss Schnee's, Nine Tail Fox, and Ms. Nikos's, Spiritual Dragon.

Port: I am looking forward to teaching, Miss Valkyrie's on how best to use the powers of her, Thunder Lion. Will you be teaching, Mr. Ren's, Shadow Tail Fox, and Miss. Belladonna's, Shadow Jaguar?

Oobaleck: Yes. As well as, Miss Rose's, Shadow Wolf.

Ozpin: Yes, this is looking to be a most promising year. But, before we start making schedules on these students lessons we have one more student to evaluate. So, then.. Mr. Arc?

Jaune: Y-Yes...?

Ozpin: Can you show us your, Spiritual Beast?

Jaune: Uhhh...?

Jaune looked over to the side, and then back to the, Headmaster Ozpin.

Jaune: No...?

Ozpin: Are... are you refusing to show us your, Spiritual Beast?

Jaune: Yes...?

Ozpin: You sound uncertain?

Glynda: Is something wrong, Mr. Arc?

Jaune pocked his fingers together, as he was nervously looked around.

Jaune: Kinda...?

Ozpin: What's wrong, Mr. Arc?

Jaune: ...

Jaune: She uhh... she doesn't want to come out...

Port: It doesn't want to come out?

Peach: No wait, 'she?'

Ozpin: So, your, Spiritual Beast doesn't want to be summoned?

Jaune: Uhh... no... She doesn't want to show herself...

OGPOP: ...

Ozpin: She... She doesn't want to show herself. Does that mean you’ve already summoned her?!

Jaune: ...

Jaune: Yes...?

OGPOP: WHAT?!

Glynda: You've already summoned your, Spiritual Beast?!

Port: How did we not see you summoning it?!

Oobaleck: How is it concealing it's presence?!

Peach: Why do you keep referring to it as a female?!

Ozpin: And, why doesn't it not wish to show itself?!

OGPOP: TELL US NOW!

Jaune recoiled in shock as his teachers all collectively bombarded with questions as they also shouted at him.

Jaune: ...?!

Jaune: Okay... I've only summoned her the one time...

Peach: Why only the one time?

Jaune: Because when I first summoned her, she just never left...

Peach: What?!

Port: To maintain a summoned, Spiritual Beast, consumes a persons. Aura, you must have a massive aura amount of aura to maintain a summon for... h-how long has your, Spiritual Beast been summoned, lad?

Jaune: I-I've only summoned her the first time, and that was when I was... four...

Oobaleck: F-Four...?!

Jaune: So, thirteen years...

Oobaleck: WHAT?!

Peach: You've kept a steady summoned, Spiritual Beast up for thirteen years?!

Jaune: Yes...?

Peach: THE HELL?!

Glynda: How vast is his aura?!

Oobaleck: Im... Immeasurable...?!

Ozpin: WHAT?!

Glynda: A-Answer the other questions, Mr. Arc...

Jaune: Okay... T-To answer your questions... Uhh... I call her a her because that's what she calls herself?

Peach: It self identifies?! That means she's a high class, Spiritual Beast... A very high class one...

Jaune: And, she's hiding her presence with her powers. And, she's doing it, because she... she doesn't want to show herself...

Jaune: More precisely... she doesn't want to show herself to you...

Jaune then pointed at, Ozpin as the group of teachers looked at one another then at, Ozpin who looked back at them, and shrugged his shoulders, before addressing, Jaune.

Ozpin: She does? But, why does your, Spiritual Beast not want to appear before me?

Jaune: Uhh...? Why don't you want, Headmaster Ozpin looking at you?

Jaune turned to look to his left, it seemed that he was looking at nothing, but they all assumed that he was talking to his, Spiritual Beast.

Jaune: H-He did what?!

Jaune: When did that happen?

Jaune: Two thousand years ago?!

Jaune: How is he...? He can reincarnate?!

Jaune's face when through a kaleidoscope of emotions until he stopped, and turned to look at, Ozpin while taking a step back.

Jaune: Why is this man allowed near children...?!

Everyone, from the teachers, the students, and their, Spiritual Beasts all stopped to stare at, Ozpin.

Glynda: Ozpin...?

Ozpin: Y-Yes... Glynda...?

Glynda: H-How does this, Spiritual Beast know you're the, Ageless Hermit...?

Ozpin: T-That's a good question... Mr. Arc... can you please tell your, Spiritual Beast to show itself...

Jaune looked to where they assumed his, Spiritual Beast was. They all looked at, Jaune before they saw his face fall.

Jaune: No... please don't make me say that...

Jaune: Because it's embarrassing, that's why!

Jaune looked to his silent companion, before his body slumped over as a defeated sigh escaped his lips. He then straightened out his back as he turned to addressed his teachers.

Jaune: May I present her majesty, the Lord of Beasts, the Matriarch of the First Born, and High Chancelloress of the Beastkin: The Oni Queen, Salem

One expected a flash of white light, a shimmer of silver to appear before them, but as fast as one could snap their fingers, Salem the Oni Queen appeared before them.

Everyone shouted in alarm as she suddenly appeared before them. Everyone's Spiritual Beasts suddenly bowed before her, Majesty. Some marveled in her beauty, others in her raw power, but out of everyone there, Ozpin wanted to be anywhere but where he was right now.

Ozpin: Ohh... Fuck...

Salem stared at everyone as she floated above the ground. Oobaleck, and his crazed scientific habits made him move closer to her with an out stretched hand. An action, Salem noticed as she scowled at his hand before floating behind, Jaune, and wrapping her arms around his neck, and pulling him into her sizeable chest.

Jaune: Yeah... So this is my, Spiritual Beast summon... Salem... The Oni Queen...

Glynda: Wha... but...?! Mr. Arc... How did you become...? How...?

Glynda's question was just a generalized question as to how all of this had happened.

Jaune: Oh well... I didn't have any friends as a kid... Everyone was mean to me, and didn't like me... And, I heard getting a, Spiritual Beast get's you a best friend forever! S-So I went to the local shrine in the woods near my home. And, I prayed for a friend, and... Salem appeared...

Glynda: R-Really...?

Peach: That seriously can't be how it happened...?

Port: Well, she is here so...?

Oobaleck: So you summoned a, Spirit Deity by accident? And, formed a contract with her...?

Jaune: Yeah... something like that...

Peach: What do you mean by that?

Jaune looked around nervously, before pulling off the fingerless glove on his left hand, and holding it up for all to see. Meanwhile, Salem showed of her left hand, and wiggled her fingers at them.

OGPOP: ...

OGPOP: WHAT?!

Glynda: You're married to a, Spirit Deity?!

Jaune: Technically we're engaged... but, we pretty much are...

Ozpin: And, how did this happen, Mr. Arc?

Jaune: Well we...?!

Jaune was about to answer when, Salem moved in front of him, and placed her finger on his mouth, while shaking her head. Salem then moved over to, Ozpin with a kind warm smile across her face. While, Salem exuded warmth, and love, Ozpin started to shake in absolute fear, that fear only grew as she held up a hand in front of his face.

Ozpin: Please be gentle...?

Salem smiled as she shook her head, and flicked, Ozpin on the head, sending him flying through the walls of, Beacon Academy until he was falling into, Forever Falls.

Everyone watched in stunned amazement as, Sale effortlessly sent, Ozpin flying. Glynda was the first to speak, as she addressed the, Oni Queen.

Glynda: D-Do I want to know why she did that to him...?

Jaune: No... No you do not...

Glynda: Okay...

Port: Well... we certainly have plenty of question to ask about... all of this. But, I must say we'll certainly have the most interesting school year this year

Glynda: Yeah...

Glynda turned to see, Salem, the Oni Queen affectionally rub her cheek against, Jaune's.

Glynda: That's one way to say it...

[rwby-encrusted-blog]

Can the RWBY Character say the Bad word for Gay?

Based on those shorts by Jake Blennings

Ruby: Yes, But she won't.

Weiss: Yes, and Has, originally as an insult, but now as a matter of pride in her bisexuality.

Blake: Yes, but chooses not to.

Yang: I cannot fathom Entertaining the Idea that she can't. She's a sapphic that catches on fire, the word was LITERALLY MADE FOR HER

Jaune: Yes, And has, but only because he didn't know what it meant so he asked his mom, and when he learned what it meant he washed his mouth out with soap and threw up because he was scared he was homophobic.

Pyrrha: Yes, but won't, both because she personally doesn't want to, and she'd be cancelled faster than Ruby eating a platter of cookies.

Nora: Yes, uses it as both a compliment and an insult.

Ren: Yes, but when he says it he more likely means a bundle of sticks.

Oscar: Yes, but when he says it he more likely means a bundle of sticks.

Emerald: Yes. She hasn't, but she could.

Mercury: Yes, but he thinks he isn't allowed to. Does anyway.

Cinder: Yes. Like Yang, but. Evil.

Neopolitan: Yes, but she doesn't speak, so no? Like, she can speak, she chooses not to, but-

Roman: My Man wears eye-shadow and acts like a theater kid. He can say. Even if he's cishet, I'm giving him a pass for the word.

Qrow: Yes. This man is SO Bisexual, trust me.

Raven: On one hand I want to say no because of vibes, on the other hand I want to say yes because I enjoy Rosebird and Hellbirds, and in a third hand, there's the ones that REALLY ship Rosebird and Hellbirds pointing a .38 Colt Revolver at me, so I think she can say it.

Taiyang: oh he can FUCKING Say it, if it mean she can take me out to dinner.

Summer: oh GODs Yes.

Ozpin: Yes, he can. He won't, but he could.

Glynda: I'm gonna be honest ... I don't think so, not just a faculty member of prestigious school, she's just ... I dunno. Not strong vibes for or against her saying it.

Oobleck: No he can't, and he doesn't.

Port: No he can't, but does because he means a Cigar/Cigarette

Jacques: No, does anyway knowing FULL Well what it means.

Ironwood: No, does anyway but he means a bundle of sticks.

Winter: Yes. She doesn't know she can, but she can.

Willow: Can, has, and will.

Whitley: See; Weiss, but with the understanding he hasn't realized it yet.

Robyn: I'm sorry, this woman is fighting against the Government with a band of other, strong, smart, capable women Of course She can fucking SAY it.

Kali: Yes, Doesn't because she's married to a political figure.

Ghira: Yes, IF IT MEANS HE CAN TAKE ME OUT TO DINNER-

[bluecheeseinmyoffwhites]

RWBY SHITPOST TIME

[pilot-boi]

What is Indiana Jaune’s relationship with dr.oobleck? Is it mentor/mentee, colleagues or (my personal favorite) rivals? I think it would be hilarious if this 50 year old man has beef with this 18 year old and jaune is just not aware of it.

It’s of COURSE mentor/mentee!

Dr. Oobleck is sort of this universe’s Dr. Brody. He’s not as affably incompetent as Brody, but Oobleck works as Jaune’s liaison between the university/museum

Jaune IS a professor in this (youngest in the university’s history), and Oobleck was a big part in helping him settle in. Since Jaune is more for field work than Oobleck, the doctor manages the paperwork and documenting of all the artifacts Jaune retrieved

He also smooths things over with the administration lol

[howlingday]

Jaune Deals With Bullies

Jaune: (Sits at desk, Stares at rude grafitti)

Russel: Hahaha!

Sky: He looks so sad!

Dove: Ssshhh! He'll hear you!

Jaune: (Stands up, Walks over)

Cardin: Huh? What do you want?

THONK!

Cardin: (Falls over from Jaune's punch) Agh...

Russel: ...

Sky: ...

Dove: Somebody call a professor!

Oobleck: Mr. Arc! I believe I made myself perfectly clear that I will not tolerate any violence within my class! You are in big trouble, young man!

RDL: Yeah! Tell him, sir!

THONK!

Oobleck: (Falls to ground, Clutching nose) ARGH! IT HURTS!

Jaune: (Walking to RDL)

Sky: What?!

Dove: How did that happen?!

Russel: Waaagh!

THONK!

Russel: (Falls over)

Sky: Take him! (Shoves Dove)

Dove: H-Hey! What the hell-

THONK!

Dove: (Collapses into a heap)

Sky: (Running)

Jaune: (Running)

Sky: (Runs to Ironwood) SIR, PLEASE, YOU HAVE TO HELP ME!

Ironwood: Huh? Hey, you! Stop!

Jaune: (Runs to Ironwood)

THONK!

Ironwood: (On his back) Aaaaah...

Jaune: (Sprinting after Sky)

Sky: I'M SORRY! MERCY! MERCYYY~!

[smokestarrules]

the way my heart STOPPED

[notmaplemable]

Who You're Fighting

Oobleck: You know, there's an old joke from the Great War that goes as such. You can identify an unknown force by firing one shot and judging the response.

Oobleck: If the unknowns respond with precise, regimented rifle fire, they are Valian.

Oobleck: If they respond with heavy machinegun fire, they are Mistrali.

Oobleck: If they respond by charging your position, they are Vacuan.

Oobleck: If nothing happens for a few minutes, then your whole position gets leveled by an airstrike, they are Atlesian

Oobleck: But, if they respond by impregnating the entire female line of your family, they are an Arc.

The Class: ...

Jaune: ...I do have a lot of cousins...

[marcmarcmomarc]

I told you I would bring up @pmpknsoup’s post more times.

Feel free to comment or reblog how you think this would have gone.

———————————————————————————-

(In Theodore’s office in Shade Academy at early evening, Team RWBY and Jaune Arc face the main members of the Remnant Alliance, consisting of Team JNPR plus Oscar Pine/Ozpin and Emerald Sustrai, Team STRQ, the Ace-Ops, the Happy Huntresses, Winter Schnee, Team SSSNN, Team CFVY, Whitley Schnee, Willow Schnee, Klein Sieben, Maria Calavera, Dr. Pietro Polendina, Ghira Belladonna, Kali Belladonna, Ilia Amitola, Bartholomew Oobleck, Peter Port, Glynda Goodwitch, Theodore, Xanthe Rumpole, and Zwei.)

RUBY: Listen. Thanks, everyone, for your patience.

RUBY: It took a while to figure out how to tell you, and I know being left in the dark about our whereabouts over the remainder of the winter, the whole spring, and the summer has left you anxious, but now, I’ve decided it’s time to reveal what’s been going on. Robyn, I’ll need your Semblance to prove all of this correct.

ROBYN: Uh, okay.

(Robyn steps away from the group, removes her glove, and joins hands with Ruby. Her Semblance turns on and glows green with every piece of information Ruby gives.)

ROBYN: So, you guys didn’t make it out of the pocket dimension before it collapsed. Where did you guys fall to?

RUBY: Well, after I fell, I regained consciousness on a beach surrounded by giant seashells. I tried to hone in on a giant tree, but just ended up looping in circles. Eventually, I had to stop, then found a mouse trying to pull a plant out of the ground. I pulled the plant, which turned out to be a cheese plant, out for the mouse, and fed it to them. After the mouse revealed that they could talk, I named them Little, and they decided to stay by my side as I tried to get home. Then we found Weiss and Blake captured in vines by a whole village of talking mice. It didn’t take much convincing to get them to let them go. Then we went to look for Yang and found a creepy Grimm-looking creature moving jerkily. And I mean very creepy. (IMITATING JABBERWALKER) “Stalking. Searching. Waiting. Listening.” (NORMAL VOICE) Then Yang came barreling out, already fighting the creature while missing her arm. Then Blake realized we were in our favorite childhood fairy tale, The Girl Who Fell Through the World.

(Confusion and wonder all around. “That fairy tale?” “The Ever After?” “It’s real?”)

OSCAR: That fairy tale actually happened? And the Ever After is real?

RUBY: Which means the creepy Grimm-like creature was the Jabberwalker from that story. Also, Weiss had a very hard time wrapping her head around the Ever After’s absurdities.

(Weiss blushes with embarrassment.)

WEISS: I did not.

RUBY: Our hands are glowing green, Weiss. Robyn’s Semblance never fails. Then we went to the village in the King’s Acre to barter with the Jinxy Peddler, who had stolen Yang’s arm. Well, they don’t “steal”, they just “take things others aren’t looking at”. Fair is fair, right, Little?

ROBYN: Sounds like a legitimate businessperson.

WEISS: Right?

EMERALD: So, what was the Jinxy Peddler like?

VELVET: Was he cute?

WEISS: Cute? He was adorable!

RUBY: And, despite being older than he was in the book, his strategy was the same, selling treasures that are really other items in disguise. If my memory serves me right, he had a yellow scepter, a pink rabbit statue, and a marionette-like doll. Toy soldiers won the scepter, and we only got it back from them because Little tried stealing the marionette, exposing Jinxy’s treasures as fakes. The rabbit statue was another mouse, the scepter was Yang’s arm, and the marionette was one of Penny’s Floating Array swords. The soldiers followed us to arrest us for stealing Yang’s arm, or “royal property”, before I traded Penny’s sword, and told them she was the greatest warrior to ever live. “She was touched by magic, and she gave her life for thousands. She took a message of hope to the stars, and she saw the world through better eyes.”

(The gang gets emotional, especially Winter and Pietro, who are comforted by their loved ones.)

RUBY: The soldiers escorted us to the Crimson Castle for the birthday of who we thought was the Red King, but turned out to be the Red Prince, who was more of a spoiled brat than Weiss was at Beacon.

YANG: (nudging Weiss) Heh-heh.

RUBY: We challenged him to a game of chess, where he shrunk the girls to the size of chess pawns. Not that it hindered their performance against the Prince’s pawns. When we revealed that we’re humans and beat him, he threw a tantrum and wanted us beheaded, and the Curious Cat rescued us.

(More interested chatter. Nora Valkyrie gets giddy.)

NORA: The Curious Cat?!

REN: Were they as chatty as the book made them out to be?

RUBY: Mm-hm. Not to mention easily distracted. Anyway, they took us to look for ingredients for a Growgurt Parfait in the Garden’s Acre, and we told them our life story, but because we kept getting distracted with our internal conflicts, we kept losing them over and over again. After the third time, when they asked me how I’m supposed to save the world now that Salem has two out of four Relics and that Atlas is gone, we met an herbalist, a caterpillar named Herb. He seemed to be asking us questions to figure out what medicine he needed to make to help us. Looking back, he was being reasonable, as too little medicine is useless, but too much medicine is toxic. Eventually, Herb just decided to smoke a hookah for a bit and drugged us with leaves that made us see our past selves tempting us to “go back”. To be free. To be simple. To be whole. To be different. The other girls rejected and had already accepted their failures as something to learn from, but I almost gave in, before the Cat stopped me, then got Herb swallowed by a hole in the ground.

(The gang chatters in moods ranging from confusion to nervousness.)

TAI: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Back up. You guys did drugs?

QROW: Don’t let alcoholism be next, girls.

RUBY: Anyway, the Cat led us to a market to keep looking for the Parfait ingredients. Along the way, they told us about a process that occurs when an Afteran is no longer doing their assigned role, triggered by them losing their ways, wearing out, doubting themselves, or even just finishing their assigned tasks, upon which they are taken to the Great Tree and repurposed into someone or something else with a new identity, personality, and role. Their memories are erased in the process, but the heart very rarely forgets. They don’t die. They ascend.

(Such a concept catches the interest of the gang.)

REMNANT ALLIANCE: Ooh.

EMERALD: Talk about a potential existential crisis.

RUBY: Hence why there was no Red King when we got to the Castle. He lost his game and ascended into the brat we encountered. And the hole that swallowed Herb was him starting his own Ascension. Anyway, after we arrived at the market and got all of the Parfait ingredients, the market was attacked by Jabberwalkers using Neopolitan’s Semblance. Oh, yeah, Neopolitan fell with us, too.

(Nora, Ren, Oscar, and Emerald grow worried.)

REN: Uh-oh.

TAI: Neopolitan? Who’s that?

RUBY: Remember Roman Torchwick, the criminal from Vale? Neo was his partner. She held me responsible for his death at the Fall of Beacon and wanted me dead to avenge him. She expressed herself through gestures and facial expressions because she couldn’t talk.

RAVEN: Was she that chick I saved Yang from on the train on Mountain Glenn?

RUBY: Yep. Then I disposed of her by opening her umbrella on an Atlas airship in the sky during the Fall of Beacon. Apparently she survived that fall without any of those Grimm surrounding us eating her.

OSCAR: Team JNPR and I last fought her right after Ironwood declared us fugitives.

RUBY: Then she fought us in the pocket dimension between here and Solitas. Heck, she was the reason Yang, Blake, and I fell. Anyway, we made the Growgurt Parfait and the girls grew back to normal size just as we got assistance from the Rusted Knight riding his white rabbit.

WHITLEY: Did Weiss go goo-goo eyes the second she laid eyes on him? She had a crush on him when she was younger.

BLAKE: I think everyone had a crush on the Rusted Knight at some point.

RUBY: Well, things didn’t help when he turned out to be a grown-up Jaune with longer hair and a beard, who grabbed a fruit that sent him back in time twenty years right after he landed.

(The gang gasps at the new knowledge of the Rusted Knight being not only Jaune, of all people, but Jaune thrown backwards in time, grown older, and living without his friends for so long.)

NORA: Oh, my Gods!

REN: Jaune, that really happened to you?

JAUNE: I was stuck there isolated from other human contact, too.

YANG: Weiss certainly loved how mature he was.

RUBY: And the white rabbit was a jackalope Jaune named Juniper.

NORA: After his team? Aww!

RUBY: Then Jaune told us his perspective on the Tree, that he believed it was death, that Alyx backstabbed her brother Lewis, the author of the fairy tale, who wrote the story the way he wished it happened, and that the Cat couldn’t be trusted. Before long, we got caught in a “punderstorm”, which creates a physical manifestation of a mental or emotional problem. Jaune, Weiss, Juniper, and I were sent to metaphorical and literal crossroads, while Yang and Blake were sent to two broken, wooden, rickety bridges connected to a giant pillar that they could only make more planks to advance toward if they were honest about their feelings for each other. Yeah, Yang and Blake are girlfriends now.

(As Yang and Blake blush at each other, everyone’s hearts melt, all proud for the Bees.)

REMNANT ALLIANCE: Aww!

NORA: See, Ren? I told you there was more going on!

KALI: Our baby girl found love?

TAI: With my sunny little dragon?

RAVEN: Wow. She really is your daughter, Tai.

TAI: What’s that supposed to mean?

RAVEN: A tall overconfident blonde flinging dad jokes and puns and a brooding dark-haired beauty? A tale as old as time.

RUBY: Then the Cat bailed on us after mistaking us for selfishly using them to get home, and once the storm passed, Jaune let us spend the night in his house in the Origami Acre, then he introduced us the next morning to a village of paper stars called the Paper Pleasers. They seemed very dumb and clumsy at first, because of the daily disasters they were causing, but, at the end of the day, were very hospitable. He also named them after all of us. On his to-do list, I saw Ren, Ruby, Oscar, Nora, Neptune, and Pyrrha.

(Not a word is spoken as everyone exchanges concerned and uncomfortable looks with each other.)

RUBY: Anyway, a Paper Pleaser told us they kept causing disasters because they wanted to ascend, because their purpose was long since finished, but Jaune was stopping them because of his belief that the tree was death. They told us that the Tree isn’t death, but resurrection, rebuilding, and rebirth.

JAUNE: That must have been our waiter, the Blake Paper Pleaser.

RUBY: Then Neo’s Jabberwalkers attacked, and while we were distracted, the Paper Pleasers finally managed to off themselves by destroying the koi pond dam and drowning in the flood, then when the girls asked me to help comfort Jaune, I blew up at them for caring more about everyone else’s feelings or getting home, taking my mental health for granted and ignoring my problems…

(Everyone leans in anxiously. Things are getting even more interesting, but not in a good way.)

(Weiss, Blake, Yang, and Jaune exchange looks of guilt.)

RUBY: …then I ran away, came across the Abandoned Acre, and entered a mansion, where Neo had made clone illusions of Roman Torchwick, Penny, Pyrrha, Professor Lionheart, Clover, Ozpin, and Ironwood, and used them to physically and psychologically abuse me, beating me up ruthlessly and blaming me for their deaths, and when the chaos was over, I felt no will to live or be myself anymore, not helped by Torchwick’s question: “Do you really think you can stand to watch more of your friends fall? Or are you ready to admit the truth, that the world would just be better off without you?”

(The gang regards Ruby with sorrow over her being trampled by her trauma. Ozpin can be heard sniffling.)

RUBY: Then Neo offered me tea made from leaves from the Tree intended to wipe me from existence. The Cat blasted her away, but then turned out to be evil and tried to possess me, while revealing that they had been trying to wear me down the whole time, then Neo fought them off and stomped Little to death, then I finally gave in, drank the tea, offing myself, and got swallowed by the Tree.

YANG: (tearing up) Oh, Rubes.

RUBY: Then I met a Blacksmith, who I also found at the market, or, rather, she found me, and then she presented me with a choice to either change my identity or be myself. I saw my mom’s weapon and was treated to a vision of the night she left with Raven on another one of Ozpin’s secret missions and never came back.

(Tai turns accusingly at Raven.)

TAI: Raven?

YANG: She lied? She left with you?

RAVEN: Yeah… Hey, like I said to her, ���First time for everything.”

(The gang gives her a look.)

RAVEN: Really? Sheesh. Tough crowd.

HARE: (to Ruby) Wait. What did you say your mother’s name was again?

RUBY: Summer.

HARE: (muttering) So, her uncle is Qrow, her father is Taiyang, and her sister’s mother is Raven. All are members of Team STRQ. Summer, Summer, Summer… (out loud) Summer Rose, the leader of Team STRQ, was your mother?

REMNANT ALLIANCE: (walla) Summer?…Summer Rose?…The previous silver-eyed Huntress?…That’s Summer Rose’s daughter?

RUBY: And then, I remembered my mom’s words, “I love you just the way you are,” chose to be myself, and came back to help the girls fight the Cat. And we won.

(Cheers and applause all around.)

RUBY: And then Neo killed the Cat by using the Jabberwalkers to eat them. By the way, Jabberwalkers are the only creatures to prevent Ascension if they eat Afterans.

BLAKE: On my count, there were a whopping five of them.

REMNANT ALLIANCE: (walla) Five?…Five of them?…Five Jabberwalkers?

SUN: Talk about overkill.

ELM: (after doing the multiplication math in her head) That’s gotta be over ninety teeth!

RUBY: And, according to the girls, Neo was possessed by the Cat, and she chose to accept Torchwick’s death and undergo her own Ascension. Oh, and Little ascended, too, into who we called Somewhat, and succeeded Jaune as the protector of the Ever After. By then, we had made it to the Tree by coming to terms with the truth, we’ll never be perfect, that even the most skilled Huntsmen and Huntresses have failed, and we walked through the door back home, landed inside the plane of the Tree, and met the Blacksmith again at her workshop. When we noticed two statues of the Brother Gods, she told us their backstory. That the Ever After was overfilled with plants and dangerous wildlife in its primordial years, but the Brothers were created to clear it out. Then they created the Afterans as well as the different acres for them to live in. They designed new creations that would replace them in maintaining the Ever After. This was how the Cat was created. They later created the Jabberwalker as a form of destruction. However, the two disagreed on whether it disrupted the balance or not and began to wage war.

OSCAR AND OZPIN: (both scoff) What else is new?

RUBY: The Blacksmith told us how balance isn’t supposed to be two opposing forces locked in battle; balance is an ecosystem, an organism, and a living thing, thus balance isn’t restored with force or manipulation, it’s restored naturally, requiring love and patience to see it through to the end. The Gods got to Remnant because the Ever After created a door to a “greater beyond” for them, so they can leave and experiment in creating new worlds as much as they like.

REN: Huh. So the Ever After existed before Remnant.

NORA: (snickering) So the Tree basically said, “You think you have life sorted out? Then get out of my house”?

RUBY: Pretty much.

(Everyone laughs at the Brother Gods basically being “kicked out of the house” by their “mom”. Some Gods they are.)

YANG: Oh, my Gods, that’s such a hilarious way of looking at it. Thanks, Nora.

RUBY: Anyway, the Blacksmith told us that we impacted the Ever After significantly, just like Somewhat, Alyx, and Lewis, and that the Cat caused a bad impact. Then she de-aged Jaune, but let him keep his memories, which explains the white streak in his hair, and made us a portal in the desert on the outskirts of the city, and now you’re all caught up.

(Ruby lets go of Robyn’s hand. The freedom fighter rejoins the rest of the Alliance.)

RUBY: So, I’m happy to announce that I’m not giving up the fight to save the world anytime soon! Between Academies and Kingdoms going down and our friends’ lives being forced to abruptly end, we’ve had a lot of ups and downs over the past two years, but we always pulled ourselves back together at the end of the day, and we won’t stop now! With global unity right at our fingertips and the ability to keep moving forward and accept our failures as things to learn from, things the villains would never even fathom, we can stand up to Salem and her forces! And no longer will we be putting the entire burden of the world’s safety on one individual! My name is Ruby Rose, and I am a Huntress!

REMNANT ALLIANCE: (walla) Yes!…Great!…Alright!…Thank goodness!…Welcome back, Ruby!…Good to have you back, kid!…Way to go, Ruby!…That’s my girl!

YANG: We’re so proud of you, Ruby.

RUBY: Thanks, guys. You and your support mean the world to me. And I’m just as proud to call you guys family. All of you.

(Everyone looks at Ruby with warmed hearts.)

———————————————————————————-

Starring the voices of:

Lindsay Jones as Ruby Rose

Cristina Vee as Robyn Hill

Aaron Dismuke as Oscar Pine

Kara Eberle as Weiss Schnee

Katie Newville as Emerald Sustrai

Caiti Ward as Velvet Scarlatina

Barbara Dunkelman as Yang Xiao Long

Samantha Ireland as Nora Valkyrie

Neath Oum as Lie Ren

Burnie Burns as Taiyang Xiao Long

Jason Liebrecht as Qrow Branwen

Anna Hullum as Raven Branwen

Howard Wang as Whitley Schnee

Arryn Zech as Blake Belladonna

Miles Luna as Jaune Arc

Tara Platt as Kali Belladonna

Anairis Quiñones as Harriet Bree

Michael Jones as Sun Wukong

Dawn M. Bennett as Elm Ederne

Shannon McCormick as Professor Ozpin

Additional Voices (no individual lines, but can be heard chattering, sobbing, gasping, cheering, laughing, and exclaiming, “Ooh,” and “Aww”):

Sena Bryer as May Marigold

Ashley Burns as Coco Adel

Tiana Camacho as Glynda Goodwitch

Dani Chambers as Iris Marilla

Cam Clarke as Bartholomew Oobleck

Michele Everheart as Fiona Thyme

Cassie Ewulu as Arslan Altan

Dave Fennoy as Dr. Pietro Polendina

Gavin Free as Scarlet David

Caitlin Glass as Willow Schnee

Mick Lauer as Marrow Amin

Cherami Leigh as Ilia Amitola

Marissa Lenti as Joanna Greenleaf

Joe MacDonald as Yatsuhashi Daichi

Aaron Marquis as Nolan Porfirio

Elizabeth Maxwell as Winter Schnee

Max Mittelman as Fox Alistair

Josh Ornelas as Sage Ayana

Jon Risinger as Bolin Hori

Zeno Robinson as Nadir Shiko

Anthony Sardinha as Peter Port

Kerry Shawcross as Neptune Vasilias

Keith Silverstein as Professor Theodore

Melissa Sternenberg as Maria Calavera

J. Michael Tatum as Klein Sieben

Kent Williams as Ghira Belladonna

Erin Winn as Reese Chloris

Anne Yatco as Xanthe Rumpole

[starredfishing]

yuo guys i'm going to sound insane for saying this but doctor bartholomew oobleck from rwby is one of the best professors i've seen in a fantasy anime .

he cares about his students. not just about their ability to fight, but who they are as people and who they will become. he's trying to set them on the right path (asking them why they chose to become huntresses). he might push them a little bit, but he knows that field experience can do wonders. he focuses on the humanitarian side of the huntsman world as an anthropologist, historian, and professor. and he makes sure to acknowledge the failures of his generation and the ones that came before him ("i see lives that could have been saved").

he understands grimm (to an extent) and how they move/live, making him a step above other huntsman. he knows that attacking grimm without reason will only cause more problems. he understands that not all grimm are mindless.

in the final battle for beacon he would rather see his students live than stay and fight (which, despite ironwood telling them that no one will fault them if they leave, he still has a militaristic mindset and would prefer to fight until the end), and he's a talented fighter in his own right due to his intelligence.

and to top it off, he's one of the only adults at beacon shown in v1-3 who cares about faunus rights. we don't see anything from glynda, ironwood or port, ozpin is a mandatory reporter concerning blake, but oobleck teaches an entire class about the lesser known history of a minority group -- specifically civil rights movements. i dont know where else in the show any human has cared enough to do that. hes an ally!

[phantomstatistician]

Fandom: RWBY

Character: Ozpin

Sample Size: 841 stories

Source: AO3

[sasasafeier]

If professors come to perform a play～

[arc-misadventures]

I Don't Want To Take That Class...

Today was now, Jaune's second day at, Beacon Academy for, Beast Masters. And, Jaune's school experience was so far: Not that great.

Well, at least today he could learn what his classes would be. Beacon had a system where on the first day of school students would orient themselves with the school, get settled into their room, but most importantly they would show off their, Spiritual Beasts so the teachers knew what monster they had, and how to best teach them to master their, Spiritual Beasts powers.

Jaune wasn't sure what he would be learn, considering, Salem's powers were so fast, and how certain members of the teaching staff were giving him, and more importantly, they were giving, Salem some very questionable looks. Particularly, Headmaster Ozpin.

Salem had told, Jaune about her rather interesting past with the man. Only the brief rundown of things, but he figured it would be for the best if she explain everything in detail. Less he walked into something he didn't want to be in.

~~~

Jaune: Okay... Where am I...?

: Oh, hi, Jaune!

Jaune: Hmm? Oh hey, Ruby.

Ruby: Here to find out what classes you're in?

Jaune: Yeah. Have you found out what classes you're in?

Ruby: Yep!

Jaune: Can you tell me what classes you have? Maybe we have one in common.

Ruby: Sure! I have classes for, Shadow, and Wind magic. But, since you are omni-elemental we'll probably have the same classes. You're probably have the same classes as everyone.

Jaune: Probably. I'll also be in the flight class since I can... well: Fly. Regeneration though... yeah...

Ruby: C-Can you actually regenerate...?

Jaune: Yes.

Ruby: Are you going to elaborate?

Jaune: Do you really want to know how that works?

Ruby: ...

Ruby: No...

Jaune: Smart lass.

Ruby: Okay, but can you tell me about.. Ooph?!

: There you are, Rubes! I've been looking all over for you!

Jaune was taken aback as an older, far more well endowed blonde woman put, Ruby in a headlock, and started giving her a little noogie.

Ruby: Yang?! Stop it!

Yang: Alright, alright I'll stop. I'll... Oh? Well hello~! You must be, Jaune Arc, the guy with the, Spiritual Deity!

Jaune: Yep, that's me. And, you are...?

Yang: Yang Xiao Long! This little twerps big sister! It's a pleasure to meet you!

Jaune: Pleasure.

Yang held out her hand for a hand shack, and Jaune moved his hand to shake it. But, it stopped when her hand was slapped away from his. Yang, and Ruby turned to look at her hand utterly perplexed. All the while, Jaune turned to left as he scowled at the air.

Jaune: Why did you do that? It was just a handshake!

Yang: Uhhh...?

Jaune: We just met her, what's so untrustworthy about her?

Yang: Who is he talking to?

Ruby: Oh! He's talking to his, Spiritual Beast!

Yang: They can talk to each other?

Ruby: Yeah, they do it all the time!

Yang: That's true? I thought that was just a joke?!

Ruby: It's true! Although, Jaune does look a little crazy since he's talking to 'nothing.'

Yang: Yeah, that does look a little...!?

Jaune: What?! Just because she's wearing a midriff, and showing off her belly does not mean she's a harlot?!

Yang: The fuck did you just call me?!

Jaune: Nothing! I did not call you anything at all! Salem called you a harlot though...

Yang: You wanna go missy?!

Yang pointed in the air, as she challenged a god to a fist fight.

Jaune: She's behind you.

Yang: Eh? OWW?!

Yang turned around, and then reeled back as she felt someone's finger flicked her forehead.

Yang: D-Did she just flick my forehead...?

Jaune: Yeah, sorry about that. Salem is... possessive to say the least. She doesn't like it when other girls get too close to me.

Yang: Sounds like a possessive wife.

Jaune: If you knew why she's so possessive of me... you... you wouldn't blame her... that much.

Yang: Are you going to tell me?

Jaune: Best you don't know. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to learn what my classes will be.

Jaune quickly left to go see what classes he was placed into, leaving the sisters alone.

RY: ...

Yang: Well... He seems like a pretty nice guy... It's a bit weird to have an invisible girlfriend batting everyone away from him though.

Ruby: She's actually his wife!

Yang: Really?

Yang: It's still weird that she does that.

Ruby: Yeah it is weird...

~~~

Jaune: Do you see my name on any of these lists, Salem?

Salem was floating over head the crowd of students, searching for her beloveds name among the. She was phasing through the ones who were to close to the board overhead for those she couldn't see.

Salem: Afraid not my love. I've scoped all of these lists, and I haven't found your name on any of them.

Jaune: That's not good...

Salem: Oh, and why is that?

Jaune: Because of you, Salem, it means that they've no doubt come up with a special class of some sorts exclusively for me... And, since i am one of the rare few to have a, Spiritual Deity as my, Spiritual Beast they'll want to run some tests on us.

Salem: Are you sure of that?

Jaune: It's been over four thousand years since the first person became a, Spiritual Beast Master. And, since there have only been just over two dozen, Spiritual Masters who have formed a bound with a, Spiritual Deity. And, to make matters worse, I am the first person you've ever formed a bound with. They are going to run some tests on us.

Salem: These tests... I will have to show myself before them then... This feels like a trap...

Jaune: But, is it for me, or is it for you?

Salem: That doesn't matter! You are my husband! If they come after one of us, then are coming after the both of us, and if they dare harm so much a single golden lock of hair from your head, I will introduce them all, I will remind, Ozma of what is a, Spiritual Deity's FURY!

Jaune watched as a whirlwind of elemental powers swirled around, Salem. Fire, ice, lighting, earth, shadows, and light rage in a kaleidoscope of raw power hang in the air about her. It was a beautiful sight to behold, his beloved showing off the full range of her powers.

To him that is.

Jaune: Salem, you look beautiful, honey. But, everyone is looking at me like I'm crazy since they can't see the, Oni Queen making a storm of elemental powers in the air, they just see the elemental storm ball.

Salem: Eh...?

Salem looked to her side seeing a crowd of students looking on, some in awe, others in fear.

Salem: Whoops...

The storm slowly faded away as, Salem nervously floated down in front of, Jaune. She bashfully looked away from him as a fierce blush was spreading across her face.

Salem: Sorry...

Jaune: It's okay, Salem. It was a good way to flex on everyone.

Jaune rubbed his hand along, Salem's cheek as she swooned into his hand. This loving moment between couples was swiftly brought to the end, when the were interrupted when someone unexpected appeared.

: That you are, Mr. Arc. Lady, Salem...?

Standing before them was the deputy headmistresses of, Beacon Academy. Who looked rather cross...

Jaune: Hi, Professor Goodwitch! C-Can we help you with anything?

Glynda: Can you.. two come with me. Headmaster Ozpin wishes to have a word with you.

Jaune: About our classes?

Glynda: Yes, since you have made a contract with a, Spiritual Deity we've had to come up a unique set of classes for you to do.

Jaune: I expected as much...

Glynda: Will you come with me so we may discuss it?

Jaune: Alright then... We'll come...

Salem: Are you sure this is a wise idea, Jaune?

Jaune: Nope, but what else can we do?

Salem: Improvise?

Jaune: That'll work...

~~~

"Ding~!"

The elevator doors slowly opened, and Jaune, and Salem were greeted to the sight of a trio of teachers, Jaune didn't want to see.

Before him was, Professor Peach, Dr. Oobaleck, and lastly, Headmaster Ozpin.

Out of the three, Professor Peach was the one, Jaune was the least suspicious about. She was a medical doctor, so she was probably here to see about his regeneration abilities. He could understand her curiosity about that, everyone was curious when it came to his regenerative abilities. However, based upon how she wanted to test these abilities, that's where he started to grow cautious of her.

Dr. Oobaleck put, Salem's nerves on end, and in turn, Jaune's as well. He was a scientist, so of course he was curious about the capabilities of, Salem's powers. But, Jaune had read enough science fiction books, and shows to know that the most dangerous scientist there is, is the one who was trying to test the bounds of science, and no one was there to tell them this one simple thing: "No."

So many terrible events that happened because science gone crazy could have been solved if someone just said, "No, bad scientist, no!"

And, lastly he had, Headmaster Ozpin. Out of the three, Jaune was most cautious of this man. Salem had told him plenty of things about, Ozpin, and the results of his, Spirit Curse. So, unless everyone didn't behave. Things were going to become very bad, very, very quickly.

~~~

Ozpin: Ahh... Hello, Mr. Arc. Do you know why we brought you here today?

Jaune: Considering that I didn't see my name on the list of classes, I assume you asked me here to tell me what my classes are?

Ozpin: You are correct, Mr. Arc. Because of your unique circumstances, being partnered with a, Spiritual Deity, and all. Along with your wide variety of spiritual powers, we had to come up with some unique classes to teach you, Mr. Arc.

Jaune: I expected as much... what classes will you be teaching me?

Ozpin: Well, start with, Professor Peach. Professor?

Peach: Thank you... Hello, Mr. Arc, I am Professor Padma Peach. We won't be having too many classes together. Mostly we'll be having tests.

Jaune: Trying to determine the capabilities of my, Regeneration abilities?

Peach: Why, yes! I am most looking forward to learn how that ability of yours works!

Jaune: That's one of us...

Ozpin: Bart.

Oobaleck: Hello, Mr. Arc! My name is, Doctor Bartholomew Oobaleck! I will be teaching you how to control your basic elemental powers! Earth, fire, water, and air! I have never taught an omni elemental before! My fellow teacher, Peter Port will also be assisting me during your teaching! He was busy monitoring the students so he couldn't be here! But, I can assure you, he is most excited to teach you as well!

Jaune: O-Okay...?

Ozpin: And, lastly, Mr. Arc, I will be teaching you how to use your light, and dark magical powers. We will be dividing these class for three to be spent learning ight, and dark magic, and the rest will be spend on your other elemental powers. Professor Peach will only be available during your other elemental powers. But, that should offer her enough time to study your regeneration capabilities.

Ozpin: We will be sending you a timetable of these, and your various other classes you will be taking. We look forward to teaching you, Mr. Arc!

Jaune took in his words with a grain, no, a heap of salt. Professor's Port, and Peach, and Doctor Oobaleck all teaching him in tandem made sense, he was omni elemental after all. But, having a class all alone with, Ozpin.

Jaune mulled over this news, but as he looked to the side, and came to a simple conclusion.

Jaune: I don't want to take that class, Headmaster... No, I won't be taking that class...

Ozpin: Excuse me?

Jaune: Deputy Headmistress, Glynda Goodwitch already teaches classes on dark, and light magic, I want her to teach me those classes, not you.

Ozpin: What are you talking about, I am the most skilled teacher of those elements the world over. I can assure you, I can help you master those powers.

Jaune: And, I can assure you, Headmaster... We will not be taking any classes with you...

Ozpin raised his mug to his face to take a drink, but paused as he took in his wrods.

Ozpin: 'We?'

(Smash.)

Ozpin: What was...?

Ozpin dipped his drink to far, and his drink spilled out of his mug. But, instead of a splatter of how bean water, a solid chunk of coffee ice fell out, and shattered on top of his desk.

Ozpin: What the?!

Ice. Ice emanated from the floor around, Jaune. The temperature in the room fell rapidly, one could see their air as they breathed. For all, but one that is. Jaune stood before, Ozpin, his body was at ease, calm. He didn't seem to be bothered by the coldness building in the room, or it didn't appear that the cold was affecting him at all.

Jaune: Now you've done it, Headmaster...

Ozpin: Done... Done what?

: Not taking my 'hint!'

Within a fraction of a second, The Oni Queen, Salem appeared before Ozpin. She was floating in the air before him, a calm smile played across her lips as the tempest of the storm loomed over the, Headmaster.

Ozpin: Hint... What hint...?

Salem: You think I flicked your forehead as some sort of 'playful teasing?' Hmm...?

Salem cocked her head to the side, her voice was loud for all to hear. Jaune could tell she without seeing her face that she was giving him a cold, an emotionless toothy smile. And while, Jaune knew she had a beautiful smile, it was a predators smile. She bore fangs that could rip through metal with ease, and when she showed off her fangs, the likely hood she was threatening you was very, very high.

Salem: No, that was a warning... a warning to tell you to keep your hands to yourself...

Ozpin: Keep my hands to myself...?

Salem: Yes. For it has come to my attention that you do not seem to remember why you were cursed with immortality. And, we are all too willing to remind you of why that all happened. But, if you dare touch a single hair on my lovers head. I will show you why my daughter held me back the last time you received divine punishment! Understood, Ozma.

Ozpin's body has slowly begun to freeze to his chair as, Salem lowered the temperature more, and more to the point his, Aura's protective barrier was failing to withstand the extreme cold. With a shaky, and cold breath, he answered her.

Ozpin: O-O-Okay...! I-l-l-leave you two alone!

Salem: Good~! Now then...

Salem soon floated over, and appeared before, Glynda, the pair locked eyes before, Salem gave, Glynda a toothy half smile, before she returned to address, Ozpin.

Salem: Glynda here will be teaching, Jaune how to master his light, and dark magic works. Understood?

Ozpin: Y-Y-Yes...

Salem: Good~! Now, let go, Jaune. I'm done with this worm.

Jaune: Alright then. Goodbye, Ms. Goodwitch, Professor, Peach, Doctor Oobaleck. I look forward to seeing you in class.

With that the pair walked into the elevator, and left. Leaving behind the three freezing, and frozen teachers behind.

Glynda: Ozpin... I do not care for whatever schemes you are planning, but I will take you down before she gets a chance to if you push things too far! Understood?

Ozpin: P-Perfectlly... Miss Goodwitch.

Glynda: Good!

Ozpin: Now then... B-Bart?

Oobalek: Yes?

Ozpin: Can you call, Port up here at once... I-I-I'm frozen, and can't move...?!

Oobaleck: On it!

Well, Jaune now would have his class schedule, and Salem had given, Ozpin's final warning. The school year was finally about to begin for real!

Hopefully things didn't go to hell too quickly...

[howi99]

Simpler time

Young man with Orange hair: *pant* You think *pant* You *pant* Bloody hell! *Take a few breaths, taking back control over it* You think we lost professor Port?

Young man with Green hair: *Cleaning his glasses* Well i sure hope so. I wasn't expecting him to be this quick! *Drink from his flask of energy drink* We can't be found out or we are going to get yelled at by professor Ozpin!

Young woman with Blond hair: *Laughing* Ah! He's not even able to get his lessons ready in time! He won't even notice we stole one of his exams. Heck, most of the time he asks me to make photocopies.

Young man with Blond hair: *rolling his eyes* Yeah yeah, we all know you're the teacher's pet Glynda.

Glynda: *frowning* I am no teacher's pet! *Crossing her arms* And i prefer being in good terms with them, since my idiot of a brother decided he would prefer knocking up our childhood friend instead of studying! For heaven's sake Niko!

Nicholas: Juniper said she had protection! I didn't think she meant her god damn shield! *Sigh of exasperation* Mother is so going to kill me-

Young man with Orange hair: *shushing them, then whispering* Silence you two, i think i can see the two edgelords approaching.

Glynda: *whispering* Qrow and the bitch?

Young man with Orange hair: *nod* Yeah, let's hide behind the containers. I don't want them to snitch on us.

Young man with Green hair: *whispering* Roman, they are probably the least likely to snitch on us.

Roman: *sigh* Oobleck, they aren't the ones I'M afraid of. It's little miss Rose and her big mouth! Now everyone behind the containers!

Nicholas: Do we really have to? They rank.

Roman: *poking Nicholas's chest with his finger* If you didn't literally fuck around instead of studying, we wouldn't need to be here in the first place!

[pilot-boi]

Knights In time

Dr.Oobleck:TEAM RWBY WERE IS YOUR TEAMMATE WEISS SCHNEE WE MUST DEPART IMMEDIATELY?

RBY:*points to the left

Weiss and Jaune:*Catching up on all the kisses they are going to miss while she's on the mission

They’re both very clingy, so they get very mopey when they’re separated

Also, trauma, so it’s very much an insurance tactic in case something happens to one of them. They’ve been separated from the people they love before, and they didn’t tell them how much they care then. So they’re sure as hell gonna do it now

Something that team RBY doesn’t realize, but that Dr. Oobleck probably does. Dude is more canny than he lets on

ALSO also, Jaune knows what happens on this mission, or at least what CAN happen. This is when the Breach happened, and time line be damned, they’re going to prevent it. Which is going to be VERY dangerous for Weiss, and Jaune is a worrier by nature, hence the goodbye kisses

[howlingday]

Oobleck: To begin our lesson, how many mistresses are you keeping?

Ren: I plead the fifth.

Jaune: How many mistresses are you keeping, Doctor?

Oobleck: Oh, I am a little FREAK after hours~.