#Bartholomew Oobleck

[sasasafeier]

If professors come to perform a play～

[arc-misadventures]

Birdy Cheer Squad

Jaune: Alright, time for the championship match!

Jaune: ...

Jaune: Why do I have to do this?!

Qrow: Because, you won the bet!

Summer: Yes, because you won the bet!

Jaune: Bet, what bet?! We never made any bet?!

Qrow: It was a bet made between me, Summer, and my sister.

Jaune: Involving me in some manner?

Qrow: Yep.

Summer: And, you made sure that we won the bet!

Qrow: Good job out there, Jaune!

Jaune: Less ass kissing, and more explaining! What was this bet?!

Summer: T-The bet was that if you could win the last bout on your own, you would fight in the championship!

Jaune: What kind of bet is that?!

Qrow: And, if Raven couldn't beat either of them she would have to take a forfeit!

Jaune: What forfeit?

Qrow: Uhh... Well, it was one that, Raven would hate.

Summer: But, one you would like!

Jaune: Your answers answer nothing...

Qrow: Just... go out there, and fight the championship bout, and you will see, Raven's forfeit.

Jaune: And, if I don't fight in this championship?

Summer: You don't get to see, Rae-Rae's forfeit, and you will regret it.

Jaune: Haa... Fine! Fine I will fight the championship... Only because of you two, and your horrible mistakes!

Summer: It was his fault with his stupid semblance!

Qrow: Like hell that was my fault! You're the one who's weapon misfired, and shot my foot!

Summer: And, you pulled me out of the ring, getting us both disqualified?!

Qrow: That's only because of your oversized cape!

Summer: It's a cloak, and don't you dare make fun of my cloak?!

Jaune: Haa... Why did, Ozpin make me in charge of this circus troupe...

~~~

Oobaleck: And welcome everyone to this, the championship match for the Vytal festival!

Port: That's right, Bart! This is the final match of the day, between, Beacon Academy's, first year student, the White Knight, Jaune Arc!

Jaune: Why the hell are they calling me a white knight?

Oobaleck: And, Haven Academy's forth year student, The Mad Dog, Gerald Bordaigo!

Jaune: Mad Dog? White Knight is a little bland... but, it ain't as cringe as Mad Dog...

Gerald: Hey, what did you say?!

Jaune: I said your nickname is cringe.

Gerald: You wanna fucking go kid!

Jaune: We're about to have a match so... Yes?

Gerald: Then let's do THISSSS!

Jaune: ...

Jaune: Cringe...

Port: Alright then everyone! Let the match... BEGIN!

Jaune: Haa... Okay... let's...

: J-Janue!

Jaune: Huw, Raven what are you...?! What the hell are you wearing?!!

Raven:

Raven: G-GO JAUNE! Y-Y-YOU CAN DO IT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! WINNN!!!

Jaune: Gahh?!

Gerald: (Whistles~!) Damn~! And, that a smoking hot babe~! Hey is she yours blondie? Hey, if I win this I get the lady~! Don't worry, I'll treat her to a nice evening~!

Jaune: The fuck did you just say?!

Gerald: So, what do you say? Do we have a...!?

(Kr-crack!)

PO: OOOOOOHHHHH?!

Gerald: Ahhhhhh.....?!!?!

(Thud!)

Port: I think I speak for all the men here. But, that has gotta hurt!

Oobaleck: Even I flinched from that kick...

Jaune: You better stay the fuck away from my woman! No get up, and prepare for a beat down unlike any other you bastard!

Gerald: ...

Jaune: ...

Gerald: ...

Jaune: ...

(Kick, kick...)

Jaune: ...

Jaune: I think I killed him...

Port: It seems like, Mr. Bordaigo is unable to battle... Mr. Arc wins!

Oobaleck: Someone brings a stretcher for, Mr. Bordaigo... He's going to need it...

Jaune: Wait... I won?

Raven: Good job, Jaune! Come back here, and claim your reward~!

Jaune: Reward...?

Jaune: Can I go! I need to claim my reward! NOW!

~~~

Summer: THat worked...

Qrow: A little too well really...

Summer: Well, I need to get going, Jaune's getting his reward after all~!

Qrow: But, my sister is...?

Summer: I am also his reward! I would have join, Raven in her cheerleader outfit, but I didn't have one so I couldn't join her!

Qrow: O-Okay...

Summer: Good! Now wait for me my loves~!

Qrow: ...

Qrow: Bloody blondes... why does he get all the girls...?

///

Here's another one for you, @lar-mx

Link to ART

[dazii-kons]

In honor of bartkon week coming soon,I present you this old ahh drawing with them as this iconic meme,cuz Bart really just loves his wife fr fr

@jellyfishjuliet this is specifically for you btw ,our bartkon king/queen

[rwby-encrusted-blog]

Pyrrha: Professor Oobleck? Do the Geneva Conventions apply to Grimm?!?

Oobleck: It's DOCTOR! and No! Of Course not! Even if they are Bipeds lacking feathers, they are categorically not Men in the most original idea of the word "Man."

Pyrrha: *Heavy Canadian Breathing*

[salibadati]

This guys has the best story ever!

[coinjarred]

Recent doodles ^^

[howlingday]

Oobleck: ARC!

Jaune: Huh?!

Oobleck: You have an F!

Jaune: ...Like my cup size?

Oobleck: On your exam, Mr. Arc! Can't you take anything in this class seriously?

Jaune: (Rolls his eyes) Dude, you're like the human character in every Adam Taurus movie...

[bluecheeseinmyoffwhites]

RWBY SHITPOST TIME

[pilot-boi]

What is Indiana Jaune’s relationship with dr.oobleck? Is it mentor/mentee, colleagues or (my personal favorite) rivals? I think it would be hilarious if this 50 year old man has beef with this 18 year old and jaune is just not aware of it.

It’s of COURSE mentor/mentee!

Dr. Oobleck is sort of this universe’s Dr. Brody. He’s not as affably incompetent as Brody, but Oobleck works as Jaune’s liaison between the university/museum

Jaune IS a professor in this (youngest in the university’s history), and Oobleck was a big part in helping him settle in. Since Jaune is more for field work than Oobleck, the doctor manages the paperwork and documenting of all the artifacts Jaune retrieved

He also smooths things over with the administration lol

[marcmarcmomarc]

I told you I would bring up @pmpknsoup’s post more times.

Feel free to comment or reblog how you think this would have gone.

———————————————————————————-

INT. THEODORE’S OFFICE IN SHADE ACADEMY - EARLY EVENING

(Team RWBY and Jaune face the main members of the Remnant Alliance, consisting of Team JNPR plus Oscar/Ozpin and Emerald, Team STRQ, the Ace-Ops, the Happy Huntresses, Winter, the Beacon Brigade, Whitley, Willow, Klein, Maria, Pietro, Ghira, Kali, Ilia, Oobleck, Port, Glynda, Theodore, Rumpole, and Zwei.)

RUBY: Listen. Thanks, everyone, for your patience.

RUBY: It took a while to figure out how to tell you, and I know being left in the dark about our whereabouts over the remainder of the winter, the whole spring, and the summer has left you anxious, but now, I’ve decided it’s time to reveal what’s been going on. Robyn, I’ll need your Semblance to prove all of this correct.

ROBYN: Uh, okay.

(Robyn steps away from the group, removes her glove, and joins hands with Ruby. Her Semblance turns on and glows green with every piece of information Ruby gives.)

ROBYN: So, you guys didn’t make it out of the pocket dimension before it collapsed. Where did you guys fall to?

RUBY: Well, after I fell, I regained consciousness on a beach surrounded by giant seashells. I tried to hone in on a giant tree, but just ended up looping in circles. Eventually, I had to stop, then found a mouse trying to pull a plant out of the ground. I pulled the plant, which turned out to be a cheese plant, out for the mouse, and fed it to them. After the mouse revealed that they could talk, I named them Little, and they decided to stay by my side as I tried to get home. Then we found Weiss and Blake captured in vines by a whole village of talking mice. It didn’t take much convincing to get them to let them go. Then we went to look for Yang and found a creepy Grimm-looking creature moving jerkily. And I mean very creepy. (IMITATING JABBERWALKER) “Stalking. Searching. Waiting. Listening.” (NORMAL VOICE) Then Yang came barreling out, already fighting the creature while missing her arm. Then Blake realized we were in our favorite childhood fairy tale, The Girl Who Fell Through the World.

(Confusion and wonder all around. “That fairy tale?” “The Ever After?” “It’s real?”)

OSCAR: That fairy tale actually happened? And the Ever After is real?

RUBY: Which means the creepy Grimm-like creature was the Jabberwalker from that story. Also, Weiss had a very hard time wrapping her head around the Ever After’s absurdities.

(Weiss blushes with embarrassment.)

WEISS: I did not.

RUBY: Our hands are glowing green, Weiss. Robyn’s Semblance never fails.

WEISS: Hmph!

RUBY: Then we went to the village in the King’s Acre to barter with the Jinxy Peddler, who had stolen Yang’s arm. Well, they don’t “steal”, they just “take things others aren’t looking at”. Fair is fair, right, Little?

ROBYN: Sounds like a legitimate businessperson.

WEISS: Right?

EMERALD: So, what was the Jinxy Peddler like?

VELVET: Was he cute?

WEISS: Cute? He was adorable!

RUBY: And, despite being older than he was in the book, his strategy was the same, selling treasures that are really other items in disguise. If my memory serves me right, he had a yellow scepter, a pink rabbit statue, and a marionette-like doll. Toy soldiers won the scepter, and we only got it back from them because Little tried stealing the marionette, exposing Jinxy’s treasures as fakes. The rabbit statue was another mouse, the scepter was Yang’s arm, and the marionette was one of Penny’s Floating Array swords. The soldiers followed us to arrest us for stealing Yang’s arm, or “royal property”, before I traded Penny’s sword, and told them she was the greatest warrior to ever live. “She was touched by magic, and she gave her life for thousands. She took a message of hope to the stars, and she saw the world through better eyes.”

(The gang gets emotional, especially Winter and Pietro, who are comforted by their loved ones.)

RUBY: The soldiers escorted us to the Crimson Castle for the birthday of who we thought was the Red King, but turned out to be the Red Prince, who was more of a spoiled brat than Weiss was at Beacon.

YANG: (nudging Weiss) Heh-heh.

RUBY: We challenged him to a game of chess, where he shrunk the girls to the size of chess pawns. Not that it hindered their performance against the Prince’s pawns. When we revealed that we’re humans and beat him, he threw a tantrum and wanted us beheaded, and the Curious Cat rescued us.

(More interested chatter. Nora gets giddy.)

NORA: The Curious Cat?!

REN: Were they as chatty as the book made them out to be?

RUBY: Mm-hm. Not to mention easily distracted. Anyway, they took us to look for ingredients for a Growgurt Parfait in the Garden’s Acre, and we told them our life story, but because we kept getting distracted with our internal conflicts, we kept losing them over and over again. After the third time, when they asked me how I’m supposed to save the world now that Salem has two out of four Relics and that Atlas is gone, we met an herbalist, a caterpillar named Herb. He seemed to be asking us questions to figure out what medicine he needed to make to help us. Looking back, he was being reasonable, as too little medicine is useless, but too much medicine is toxic. Eventually, Herb decided to just smoke a hookah for a bit and drugged us with leaves that made us see our past selves tempting us to “go back”. To be free. To be simple. To be whole. To be different. The other girls rejected and had already accepted their failures as something to learn from, but I almost gave in, before the Cat stopped me, then got Herb swallowed by a hole in the ground.

(The gang chatters in moods ranging from confusion to nervousness.)

TAI: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Back up. You guys did drugs?

QROW: Don’t let alcoholism be next, girls.

RUBY: Anyway, the Cat led us to a market to keep looking for the Parfait ingredients. Along the way, they told us about a process that occurs when an Afteran is no longer doing their assigned role, triggered by them losing their ways, wearing out, doubting themselves, or even just finishing their assigned tasks, upon which they’re taken to the Great Tree and repurposed into someone or something else with a new identity, personality, and role. Their memories are erased in the process, but the heart very rarely forgets. They don’t die. They ascend.

(Such a concept catches the interest of the gang.)

REMNANT ALLIANCE: Ooh.

EMERALD: Talk about a potential existential crisis.

RUBY: Hence why there was no Red King when we got to the Castle. He lost his game and ascended into the brat we encountered. And the hole that swallowed Herb was him starting his own Ascension. Anyway, after we arrived at the market and got all of the Parfait ingredients, the market was attacked by Jabberwalkers using Neopolitan’s Semblance. Oh, yeah, Neopolitan fell with us, too.

(Nora, Ren, Oscar, and Emerald grow worried.)

REN: Uh-oh.

TAI: Neopolitan? Who’s that?

RUBY: Remember Roman Torchwick, the criminal from Vale? Neo was his partner. She held me responsible for his death at the Fall of Beacon and wanted me dead to avenge him.

RAVEN: Was she that chick I saved Yang from on the train under Mountain Glenn?

RUBY: Yep. Then I disposed of her by opening her umbrella on an Atlas airship in the sky during the Fall of Beacon. Apparently she survived that fall without any of those Grimm surrounding us eating her.

OSCAR: Team JNPR and I last fought her right after Ironwood declared us fugitives.

RUBY: Then she fought us in the pocket dimension between here and Solitas. Heck, she was the reason Yang, Blake, and I fell. Anyway, we made the Growgurt Parfait and the girls grew back to normal size just as we got assistance from the Rusted Knight riding his white rabbit.

WHITLEY: Did Weiss go goo-goo eyes the second she laid eyes on him? She had a crush on him when she was younger.

BLAKE: I think everyone had a crush on the Rusted Knight at some point.

RUBY: Well, things didn’t help when he turned out to be a grown-up Jaune with longer hair and a beard, who grabbed a fruit that sent him back in time twenty years right after he landed.

(The gang gasps at the new knowledge of the Rusted Knight being not only Jaune, of all people, but Jaune thrown backwards in time, grown older, and living without his friends for so long.)

NORA: Oh, my Gods!

REN: Jaune, that really happened to you?

JAUNE: I was stuck there isolated from other human contact, too.

YANG: Weiss certainly loved how mature he was.

RUBY: And the white rabbit was a jackalope Jaune named Juniper.

NORA: After his team? Aww!

RUBY: Then Jaune told us his perspective on the Tree, that he believed it was death, that Alyx backstabbed her brother Lewis, the author of the fairy tale, who wrote the story the way he wished it happened, and that the Cat couldn’t be trusted. Before long, we got caught in a “punderstorm”, which creates a physical manifestation of a mental or emotional problem. Jaune, Weiss, Juniper, and I were sent to metaphorical and literal crossroads, while Yang and Blake were sent to two unstable bridges connected to a giant pillar that they could only make more planks to advance toward if they were honest about their feelings for each other. Yeah, Yang and Blake are girlfriends.

(As Yang and Blake blush at each other, everyone congratulates them.)

NORA: See, Ren? I told you there was more going on!

KALI: Our baby girl found love?

TAI: With my sunny little dragon?

RAVEN: Wow. She really is your daughter, Tai.

TAI: What’s that supposed to mean?

RAVEN: A tall confident blonde slinging dad jokes and puns and a brooding dark-haired beauty? A tale as old as time.

RUBY: Then the Cat bailed on us after mistaking us for selfishly using them to get home, and once the storm passed, Jaune let us spend the night in his house in the Origami Acre, then he introduced us the next morning to a village of paper stars called the Paper Pleasers. They seemed very dumb and clumsy at first, because of the daily disasters they were causing, but, at the end of the day, were very hospitable. He also named them after all of us. On his to-do list, I saw Ren, Ruby, Oscar, Nora, Neptune, and Pyrrha.

(Not a word is spoken as everyone exchanges concerned and uncomfortable looks with each other.)

RUBY: Anyway, a Paper Pleaser told us they kept causing disasters because they wanted to ascend, because their purpose was long since finished, but Jaune was stopping them because of his belief that the tree was death. They told us that the Tree isn’t death, but resurrection, rebuilding, and rebirth.

JAUNE: That must have been our waiter, the Blake Paper Pleaser.

RUBY: Then Neo’s Jabberwalkers attacked, and while we were distracted, the Paper Pleasers finally managed to off themselves by destroying the koi pond dam and drowning in the flood, then when the girls asked me to help comfort Jaune, I blew up at them for caring more about everyone else’s feelings or getting home, taking my mental health for granted and ignoring my problems…

(As Weiss, Blake, Yang, and Jaune exchange looks of guilt…)

(…everyone leans in anxiously. Things are getting even more interesting, but not in a good way.)

RUBY: …then I ran away, came across the Abandoned Acre, and entered a mansion, where Neo had made clone illusions of Roman Torchwick, Penny, Pyrrha, Professor Lionheart, Clover, Ozpin, and Ironwood, and used them to physically and psychologically abuse me, beating me up ruthlessly and blaming me for their deaths, and when the chaos was over, I felt no will to live or be myself anymore, not helped by Torchwick’s question: “Do you really think you can stand to watch more of your friends fall? Or are you ready to admit the truth, that the world would just be better off without you?”

(The gang regards Ruby sorrowfully. Ozpin can be heard sniffling.)

RUBY: Then Neo offered me tea made from leaves from the Tree intended to wipe me from existence. The Cat blasted her away, but then turned out to be evil and tried to possess me, while revealing that they had been trying to wear me down the whole time, then Neo fought them off and stomped Little to death, then I finally gave in, drank the tea, offing myself, and got swallowed by the Tree.

YANG: (tearing up) Oh, Rubes.

RUBY: Then I met a Blacksmith, who I also found at the market, or, rather, she found me, and then she presented me with a choice to either change my identity or be myself. I saw my mom Summer’s weapon and was treated to a vision of the night she left with Raven on another one of Ozpin’s secret missions and never came back.

(Tai turns accusingly at Raven.)

TAI: Raven?

YANG: She lied? She left with you?

RAVEN: Yeah… Hey, like I said to her, “First time for everything.”

(The gang gives her a look.)

RAVEN: Really? Sheesh. Tough crowd.

HARE: (to Ruby) Wait. Summer? Like, Summer Rose, the Huntress and leader of Team STRQ?

RUBY: Yeah.

REMNANT ALLIANCE: (walla) Summer?…Summer Rose?…The previous silver-eyed Huntress?…That’s Summer Rose’s daughter?

RUBY: And then, I remembered my mom’s words, “I love you just the way you are,” chose to be myself, and came back to help the girls fight the Cat. And we won.

(Cheers and applause all around.)

RUBY: And then Neo killed the Cat by using the Jabberwalkers to eat them. By the way, the Jabberwalker is the only creature to prevent Ascension if it eat Afterans.

BLAKE: On my count, there were a whopping five of them.

REMNANT ALLIANCE: (walla) Five?…Five of them?…Five Jabberwalkers?

SUN: Talk about overkill.

ELM: (after doing the multiplication math in her head) That’s gotta be over ninety teeth!

RUBY: And, according to the girls, Neo was possessed by the Cat, and she chose to accept Torchwick’s death and undergo her own Ascension. Oh, and Little ascended, too, into who we called Somewhat, and succeeded Jaune as the protector of the Ever After. By then, we had made it to the Tree by coming to terms with the truth, we’ll never be perfect, that even the most skilled Huntsmen and Huntresses have failed, and we walked through the door back home, landed inside the plane of the Tree, and met the Blacksmith again at her workshop. When we noticed two statues of the Brother Gods, she told us their backstory. That the Ever After was overfilled with plants and dangerous wildlife in its primordial years, but the Brothers were created to clear it out. Then they created the Afterans as well as the different acres for them to live in. They designed new creations that would replace them in maintaining the Ever After. This was how the Cat was created. They later created the Jabberwalker as a form of destruction. However, the two disagreed on whether it disrupted the balance or not and began to wage war.

OSCAR AND OZPIN: (both scoff) What else is new?

RUBY: The Blacksmith told us how balance isn’t supposed to be two opposing forces locked in battle; balance is an ecosystem, an organism, and a living thing, thus balance isn’t restored with force or manipulation, it’s restored naturally, requiring love and patience to see it through to the end. The Gods got to Remnant because the Ever After created a door to a “greater beyond” for them, so they can leave and experiment in creating new worlds as much as they like.

REN: Huh. So the Ever After came before Remnant.

NORA: (snickering) So the Tree basically said, “You think you have life sorted out? Then get out of my house”?

RUBY: Pretty much.

(Everyone laughs at the Brother Gods basically being “kicked out of the house” by their “mom”. Some Gods they are.)

YANG: Oh, my Gods, that’s such a hilarious way of looking at it. Thanks, Nora.

RUBY: Anyway, the Blacksmith told us that we impacted the Ever After significantly, just like Somewhat, Alyx, and Lewis, and that the Cat caused a bad impact. Then she de-aged Jaune, but let him keep his memories, which explains the white streak in his hair, and made us a portal in the desert on the outskirts of the city, and here we are.

(Ruby lets go of Robyn’s hand. The freedom fighter rejoins the rest of the Alliance.)

RUBY: So, I’m happy to announce that I’m not giving up the fight to save the world anytime soon! We’ve had a lot of ups and downs over the past two years, but we always pulled ourselves back together at the end of the day, and we won’t stop now! With global unity right at our fingertips and the ability to keep moving forward and accept our failures as things to learn from, we can stand up to Salem and her forces! And no longer will we be putting the entire burden of the world’s safety on one individual! My name is Ruby Rose, and I am a Huntress!

REMNANT ALLIANCE: (walla) Yes!…Great!…Alright!…Thank goodness!…Welcome back, Ruby!…Good to have you back, kid!…Way to go, Ruby!…That’s my girl!

YANG: We’re so proud of you, Ruby.

RUBY: Thanks, guys. You and your support mean the world to me. And I’m just as proud to call you guys family. All of you.

(Everyone looks at Ruby with warmed hearts.)

———————————————————————————-

Starring the voices of

Ruby Rose: LINDSAY JONES

Robyn Hill: CRISTINA VEE

Oscar Pine: AARON DISMUKE

Weiss Schnee: KARA EBERLE

Emerald Sustrai: KATIE NEWVILLE

Velvet Scarlatina: CAITI WARD

Yang Xiao Long: BARBARA DUNKELMAN

Nora Valkryrie: SAMANTHA IRELAND

Lie Ren: NEATH OUM

Taiyang Xiao Long: BURNIE BURNS

Qrow Branwen: JASON LIEBRECHT

Raven Branwen: ANNA HULLUM

Whitley Schnee: HOWARD WANG

Blake Belladonna: ARRYN ZECH

Jaune Arc: MILES LUNA

Kali Belladonna: TARA PLATT

Harriet Bree: ANAIRIS QUIÑONES

Sun Wukong: MICHAEL JONES

Elm Ederne: DAWN M. BENNETT

Professor Ozpin: SHANNON McCORMICK

Additional Voices

May Marigold: SENA BRYER

Coco Adel: ASHLEY BURNS

Glynda Goodwitch: TIANA CAMACHO

Iris Marilla: DANI CHAMBERS

Bartholomew Oobleck: CAM CLARKE

Fiona Thyme: MICHELE EVERHEART

Arslan Altan: CASSIE EWULU

Dr. Pietro Polendina: DAVE FENNOY

Scarlet David: GAVIN FREE

Willow Schnee: CAITLIN GLASS

Marrow Amin: MICK LAUER

Ilia Amitola: CHERAMI LEIGH

Joanna Greenleaf: MARISSA LENTI

Yatsuhashi Daichi: JOE MACDONALD

Nolan Porfirio: AARON MARQUIS

Winter Schnee: ELIZABETH MAXWELL

Fox Alistair: MAX MITTELMAN

Sage Ayana: JOSH ORNELAS

Bolin Hori: JON RISINGER

Nadir Shiko: ZENO ROBINSON

Peter Port: ANTHONY SARDINHA

Neptune Vasilias: KERRY SHAWCROSS

Professor Theodore: KEITH SILVERSTEIN

Maria Calavera: MELISSA STERNENBERG

Klein Sieben: J. MICHAEL TATUM

Ghira Belladonna: KENT WILLIAMS

Reese Chloris: ERIN WINN

Xanthe Rumpole: ANNE YATCO

[smokestarrules]

the way my heart STOPPED

[sasasafeier]

[arc-misadventures]

Hey I have an idea for an AU I saw on YouTube a Guardian Beast au do you think you can pull this off

Lord of Beasts

Ozpin: Alright students... You are the lucky few who have been granted the powers of a, Spiritual Beast. Now, you've all come here to learn to control your powers. An untrained, Spiritual Beast Master can be a danger both to themselves, and others. So before we begin your lessons, please show us your, Spiritual Beast's.

Jaune: W-Wait... w-w-we gotta show our beasts...?! Why?!

Glynda: It is best if we know what your, Spiritual Beasts are so we may best help you learn to master their powers. Some, Spiritual Beasts require more precise training to master. As well we will know what dangerous those particular beast may entail.

Jaune: But, do we have to show you who they are...? I-I mean you know I have spiritual powers, why do I have to show you any more than that?

Glynda: For ours, and more importantly your safety, Mr. Arc. We need to prepare for whatever incidents may occur because of your, Spiritual Beasts powers.

Jaune: Curse you, and your sound, logical reasoning...

Ozpin: Alright, let us begin then... Ruby Rose?

Ruby: Sir!

Ozpin: Will you please summon your, Beast please?

Ruby: Okay!

Ruby put her hands together as a swirl of black clouds whirled around her, before she thrust them forward, a shouted her, Beasts name.

Ruby: Zwei! I summon you!

From within her shadow emerged a beast before darting around, Ruby, and appearing in front of her. What appeared was a silver, black wolf, who barked at the ensembled teachers.

Oobaleck: A Shadow Wolf? Impressive, Miss Rose.

Port: Ahh yes, we will have to teacher her all about shadow, and wind magic then. This shall be most exciting!

Ozpin: Well done, Miss. Rose. Now then, Miss Xiao Long?

Yang: On it!

Yang did the same as her little sister, and held out her hands, but instead of a black mist red flames flying in the wind swirled around her. She pushed her hands out, and shouted:

Yang: Come forth: Ember Celica!

A plume of fire appeared before, Yang, that flew up in the air, before a bird of fire landed on her out stretched arm.

Glynda: A phoenix... no, an, Eternal Flame Phoenix!

Ozpin: It's rare to see such a bird, since they are so passionate, and noble they rarely choose a master. Well done, Miss Xiao Long.

Yang: Thank you, Sir!

Ozpin: Alright, on to the next...

~~~

Port: I must say we, have a most promising crop of, Spiritual Masters this year!

Peach: I must agree! We have a vast array of magic to be taught this year! I am especially looking forward to all the healing, Spiritual Beasts, and their masters I must teach this year.

Glynda: Yes, I am looking forward to teaching, Miss Schnee's, Nine Tail Fox, and Ms. Nikos's, Spiritual Dragon.

Port: I am looking forward to teaching, Miss Valkyrie's on how best to use the powers of her, Thunder Lion. Will you be teaching, Mr. Ren's, Shadow Tail Fox, and Miss. Belladonna's, Shadow Jaguar?

Oobaleck: Yes. As well as, Miss Rose's, Shadow Wolf.

Ozpin: Yes, this is looking to be a most promising year. But, before we start making schedules on these students lessons we have one more student to evaluate. So, then.. Mr. Arc?

Jaune: Y-Yes...?

Ozpin: Can you show us your, Spiritual Beast?

Jaune: Uhhh...?

Jaune looked over to the side, and then back to the, Headmaster Ozpin.

Jaune: No...?

Ozpin: Are... are you refusing to show us your, Spiritual Beast?

Jaune: Yes...?

Ozpin: You sound uncertain?

Glynda: Is something wrong, Mr. Arc?

Jaune pocked his fingers together, as he was nervously looked around.

Jaune: Kinda...?

Ozpin: What's wrong, Mr. Arc?

Jaune: ...

Jaune: She uhh... she doesn't want to come out...

Port: It doesn't want to come out?

Peach: No wait, 'she?'

Ozpin: So, your, Spiritual Beast doesn't want to be summoned?

Jaune: Uhh... no... She doesn't want to show herself...

OGPOP: ...

Ozpin: She... She doesn't want to show herself. Does that mean you’ve already summoned her?!

Jaune: ...

Jaune: Yes...?

OGPOP: WHAT?!

Glynda: You've already summoned your, Spiritual Beast?!

Port: How did we not see you summoning it?!

Oobaleck: How is it concealing it's presence?!

Peach: Why do you keep referring to it as a female?!

Ozpin: And, why doesn't it not wish to show itself?!

OGPOP: TELL US NOW!

Jaune recoiled in shock as his teachers all collectively bombarded with questions as they also shouted at him.

Jaune: ...?!

Jaune: Okay... I've only summoned her the one time...

Peach: Why only the one time?

Jaune: Because when I first summoned her, she just never left...

Peach: What?!

Port: To maintain a summoned, Spiritual Beast, consumes a persons. Aura, you must have a massive aura amount of aura to maintain a summon for... h-how long has your, Spiritual Beast been summoned, lad?

Jaune: I-I've only summoned her the first time, and that was when I was... four...

Oobaleck: F-Four...?!

Jaune: So, thirteen years...

Oobaleck: WHAT?!

Peach: You've kept a steady summoned, Spiritual Beast up for thirteen years?!

Jaune: Yes...?

Peach: THE HELL?!

Glynda: How vast is his aura?!

Oobaleck: Im... Immeasurable...?!

Ozpin: WHAT?!

Glynda: A-Answer the other questions, Mr. Arc...

Jaune: Okay... T-To answer your questions... Uhh... I call her a her because that's what she calls herself?

Peach: It self identifies?! That means she's a high class, Spiritual Beast... A very high class one...

Jaune: And, she's hiding her presence with her powers. And, she's doing it, because she... she doesn't want to show herself...

Jaune: More precisely... she doesn't want to show herself to you...

Jaune then pointed at, Ozpin as the group of teachers looked at one another then at, Ozpin who looked back at them, and shrugged his shoulders, before addressing, Jaune.

Ozpin: She does? But, why does your, Spiritual Beast not want to appear before me?

Jaune: Uhh...? Why don't you want, Headmaster Ozpin looking at you?

Jaune turned to look to his left, it seemed that he was looking at nothing, but they all assumed that he was talking to his, Spiritual Beast.

Jaune: H-He did what?!

Jaune: When did that happen?

Jaune: Two thousand years ago?!

Jaune: How is he...? He can reincarnate?!

Jaune's face when through a kaleidoscope of emotions until he stopped, and turned to look at, Ozpin while taking a step back.

Jaune: Why is this man allowed near children...?!

Everyone, from the teachers, the students, and their, Spiritual Beasts all stopped to stare at, Ozpin.

Glynda: Ozpin...?

Ozpin: Y-Yes... Glynda...?

Glynda: H-How does this, Spiritual Beast know you're the, Ageless Hermit...?

Ozpin: T-That's a good question... Mr. Arc... can you please tell your, Spiritual Beast to show itself...

Jaune looked to where they assumed his, Spiritual Beast was. They all looked at, Jaune before they saw his face fall.

Jaune: No... please don't make me say that...

Jaune: Because it's embarrassing, that's why!

Jaune looked to his silent companion, before his body slumped over as a defeated sigh escaped his lips. He then straightened out his back as he turned to addressed his teachers.

Jaune: May I present her majesty, the Lord of Beasts, the Matriarch of the First Born, and High Chancelloress of the Beastkin: The Oni Queen, Salem

One expected a flash of white light, a shimmer of silver to appear before them, but as fast as one could snap their fingers, Salem the Oni Queen appeared before them.

Everyone shouted in alarm as she suddenly appeared before them. Everyone's Spiritual Beasts suddenly bowed before her, Majesty. Some marveled in her beauty, others in her raw power, but out of everyone there, Ozpin wanted to be anywhere but where he was right now.

Ozpin: Ohh... Fuck...

Salem stared at everyone as she floated above the ground. Oobaleck, and his crazed scientific habits made him move closer to her with an out stretched hand. An action, Salem noticed as she scowled at his hand before floating behind, Jaune, and wrapping her arms around his neck, and pulling him into her sizeable chest.

Jaune: Yeah... So this is my, Spiritual Beast summon... Salem... The Oni Queen...

Glynda: Wha... but...?! Mr. Arc... How did you become...? How...?

Glynda's question was just a generalized question as to how all of this had happened.

Jaune: Oh well... I didn't have any friends as a kid... Everyone was mean to me, and didn't like me... And, I heard getting a, Spiritual Beast get's you a best friend forever! S-So I went to the local shrine in the woods near my home. And, I prayed for a friend, and... Salem appeared...

Glynda: R-Really...?

Peach: That seriously can't be how it happened...?

Port: Well, she is here so...?

Oobaleck: So you summoned a, Spirit Deity by accident? And, formed a contract with her...?

Jaune: Yeah... something like that...

Peach: What do you mean by that?

Jaune looked around nervously, before pulling off the fingerless glove on his left hand, and holding it up for all to see. Meanwhile, Salem showed of her left hand, and wiggled her fingers at them.

OGPOP: ...

OGPOP: WHAT?!

Glynda: You're married to a, Spirit Deity?!

Jaune: Technically we're engaged... but, we pretty much are...

Ozpin: And, how did this happen, Mr. Arc?

Jaune: Well we...?!

Jaune was about to answer when, Salem moved in front of him, and placed her finger on his mouth, while shaking her head. Salem then moved over to, Ozpin with a kind warm smile across her face. While, Salem exuded warmth, and love, Ozpin started to shake in absolute fear, that fear only grew as she held up a hand in front of his face.

Ozpin: Please be gentle...?

Salem smiled as she shook her head, and flicked, Ozpin on the head, sending him flying through the walls of, Beacon Academy until he was falling into, Forever Falls.

Everyone watched in stunned amazement as, Sale effortlessly sent, Ozpin flying. Glynda was the first to speak, as she addressed the, Oni Queen.

Glynda: D-Do I want to know why she did that to him...?

Jaune: No... No you do not...

Glynda: Okay...

Port: Well... we certainly have plenty of question to ask about... all of this. But, I must say we'll certainly have the most interesting school year this year

Glynda: Yeah...

Glynda turned to see, Salem, the Oni Queen affectionally rub her cheek against, Jaune's.

Glynda: That's one way to say it...

[notmaplemable]

Who You're Fighting

Oobleck: You know, there's an old joke from the Great War that goes as such. You can identify an unknown force by firing one shot and judging the response.

Oobleck: If the unknowns respond with precise, regimented rifle fire, they are Valian.

Oobleck: If they respond with heavy machinegun fire, they are Mistrali.

Oobleck: If they respond by charging your position, they are Vacuan.

Oobleck: If nothing happens for a few minutes, then your whole position gets leveled by an airstrike, they are Atlesian

Oobleck: But, if they respond by impregnating the entire female line of your family, they are an Arc.

The Class: ...

Jaune: ...I do have a lot of cousins...

[rwby-encrusted-blog]

Can the RWBY Character say the Bad word for Gay?

Based on those shorts by Jake Blennings

Ruby: Yes, But she won't.

Weiss: Yes, and Has, originally as an insult, but now as a matter of pride in her bisexuality.

Blake: Yes, but chooses not to.

Yang: I cannot fathom Entertaining the Idea that she can't. She's a sapphic that catches on fire, the word was LITERALLY MADE FOR HER

Jaune: Yes, And has, but only because he didn't know what it meant so he asked his mom, and when he learned what it meant he washed his mouth out with soap and threw up because he was scared he was homophobic.

Pyrrha: Yes, but won't, both because she personally doesn't want to, and she'd be cancelled faster than Ruby eating a platter of cookies.

Nora: Yes, uses it as both a compliment and an insult.

Ren: Yes, but when he says it he more likely means a bundle of sticks.

Oscar: Yes, but when he says it he more likely means a bundle of sticks.

Emerald: Yes. She hasn't, but she could.

Mercury: Yes, but he thinks he isn't allowed to. Does anyway.

Cinder: Yes. Like Yang, but. Evil.

Neopolitan: Yes, but she doesn't speak, so no? Like, she can speak, she chooses not to, but-

Roman: My Man wears eye-shadow and acts like a theater kid. He can say. Even if he's cishet, I'm giving him a pass for the word.

Qrow: Yes. This man is SO Bisexual, trust me.

Raven: On one hand I want to say no because of vibes, on the other hand I want to say yes because I enjoy Rosebird and Hellbirds, and in a third hand, there's the ones that REALLY ship Rosebird and Hellbirds pointing a .38 Colt Revolver at me, so I think she can say it.

Taiyang: oh he can FUCKING Say it, if it mean she can take me out to dinner.

Summer: oh GODs Yes.

Ozpin: Yes, he can. He won't, but he could.

Glynda: I'm gonna be honest ... I don't think so, not just a faculty member of prestigious school, she's just ... I dunno. Not strong vibes for or against her saying it.

Oobleck: No he can't, and he doesn't.

Port: No he can't, but does because he means a Cigar/Cigarette

Jacques: No, does anyway knowing FULL Well what it means.

Ironwood: No, does anyway but he means a bundle of sticks.

Winter: Yes. She doesn't know she can, but she can.

Willow: Can, has, and will.

Whitley: See; Weiss, but with the understanding he hasn't realized it yet.

Robyn: I'm sorry, this woman is fighting against the Government with a band of other, strong, smart, capable women Of course She can fucking SAY it.

Kali: Yes, Doesn't because she's married to a political figure.

Ghira: Yes, IF IT MEANS HE CAN TAKE ME OUT TO DINNER-

[starredfishing]

yuo guys i'm going to sound insane for saying this but doctor bartholomew oobleck from rwby is one of the best professors i've seen in a fantasy anime .

he cares about his students. not just about their ability to fight, but who they are as people and who they will become. he's trying to set them on the right path (asking them why they chose to become huntresses). he might push them a little bit, but he knows that field experience can do wonders. he focuses on the humanitarian side of the huntsman world as an anthropologist, historian, and professor. and he makes sure to acknowledge the failures of his generation and the ones that came before him ("i see lives that could have been saved").

he understands grimm (to an extent) and how they move/live, making him a step above other huntsman. he knows that attacking grimm without reason will only cause more problems. he understands that not all grimm are mindless.

in the final battle for beacon he would rather see his students live than stay and fight (which, despite ironwood telling them that no one will fault them if they leave, he still has a militaristic mindset and would prefer to fight until the end), and he's a talented fighter in his own right due to his intelligence.

and to top it off, he's one of the only adults at beacon shown in v1-3 who cares about faunus rights. we don't see anything from glynda, ironwood or port, ozpin is a mandatory reporter concerning blake, but oobleck teaches an entire class about the lesser known history of a minority group -- specifically civil rights movements. i dont know where else in the show any human has cared enough to do that. hes an ally!