#Balancing all the Balls
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23-37. Balancing all the Balls
Sara Troy on Sara’s View of Life, on air from September 12th “It’s a funny thing about life. We send our wishes, hopes, and dreams out into the vastness, almost like throwing a message in a bottle into the ocean, hoping that the universe will answer. We meticulously chart out our paths, believing we’ve accounted for every twist and turn. We anticipate a rhythm, expecting milestones to unveil…
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#Balancing all the Balls#Orchard of Wisdom#Sara Troy#Sara&039;s View of Life show#www.selfdiscoverywisdom.com
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jin guangshan and lan qiren yaoi perhaps? since their shapes create a perfect balance?
Two old men perform worlds first successful 96.
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan qiren#jin guangshan#I do not know if these two have a ship tag or if anyone has ever entertained the idea of these two kissing before.#Lets call them 'old man 96' for now.#Where the nine represents LQR's honkers and the six represents JGS's hunkers.#with our efforts combines we can make this the new cursed ship.#I am now giving preliminary head space to these two engaging in a relationship and -#HOO BOY. It would be horribly toxic. But like a beautiful mushroom the toxins are part of it's beauty.#They are the most opposite in morals and behaviour one could possibly be.#Okay the thoughts are done cooking.#Lan Qiren is the 'one guy' JGS has been with and it's haunted them both ever since. They refuse to make eye contact in meetings.#What led them both to that situation is for another day. I think I burnt 80% of my braincells thinking about these two kissing.#Thank you again delightful mutual stackedbirds for setting a lovely ball for me to strike down into the earth with.#I hope you enjoy the old men big naturals top and bottom edition. Balanced...as all things should be.
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IAN GALLAGHER + his journey with bipolar disorder
╰┈➤ “At times, being bipolar can be an all-consuming challenge, requiring a lot of stamina and even more courage, so if you’re living with this illness and functioning at all, it’s something to be proud of, not ashamed of." - Carrie Fisher
#happy world bipolar day to all my bp babies#(more thoughts at the end of the tags)#shameless#shamelessnet#shamelessedit#ian gallagher#cameron monaghan#*macygifs#bipolar disorder#hello pals how are we doin#i made this gif set in july of 2023 and never posted it because 1) i was terrified to share it and potentially see Bad Takes in the tags#and 2) because my hyperfixation was waning. and while both of those things are still mostly true (the fixation comes and goes)#i feel like it's really important to share as ian's bipolar storyline was not only so vital to his character it was a bit of representation#that isn't often given to the disorder and those (like myself) who live with it every single day#world bipolar day is a day where we can both celebrate ourselves and our resilience and also raise awareness of the reality of the disorder#which is both terrifying and beautiful at its core. this disease is not a death sentence or a sentence to an unfulfilled and miserable life#while there are challenges galore when it comes to balancing life with this disorder it IS possible to live a full and productive life#and i think it's really important to have representation of that in media - and while shameless dropped the ball on a LOT of storylines#over the years THIS is the one they really fucking nailed and i am incredibly grateful#i first started watching shameless while in the midst of a major depressive episode and i was later (finally) diagnosed during an extended#hypo/manic episode - this show and ian's storyline got me through so much and made me feel so seen and validated in my struggles#world bipolar day is also vincent van gogh's birthday (happy birthday buddy) who was posthumously diagnosed with bipolar disorder#and who experienced both depressive and hypo/manic episodes during his lifetime (and was regularly institutionalized)#it takes a lot of help and support to keep us going. it takes the support of our family and friends and *most* of all#it takes patience and kindness and understanding - which is so so so easy to give if you are willing to love and listen#so please. be willing. listen to our stories. be patient with us. show us love without conditions. support us in any way you can.#we are worth it#i promise#anyway. that's really all i wanted to say. happy world bipolar day to those who celebrate (me) and may all of us living with this disorder#go on to live happy fulfilling beautiful magical lives
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Any cotl fandom pet peeves?
OoOoooo a question, lets see!
I think my biggest one is people who baby Leshy too much, especially those who headcanon him as autistic and give him the "He's just a shy owo cinnamon roll baby!!" treatment. He's a god of chaos guys cmon ;0; why are you characterizing him like he's a twelve yr old soft boy??
Do whatever you want, if it makes ya happy im not gonna stop ya! But it is most certainly not my cup of tea, and as someone who gets infantilized a lot (for multiple reasons) it can feel a bit cringe seeing someone headcanon him as autistic and then portray him like that
#mewnie asks#cotl leshy#sure i'll tag him#another one is people who make Narinder do nothing wrong. Like it was all his siblings fault he was banished and he's just misunderstood#This one doesnt bother me as much because I get it! Its hard to make both sides have some level of fault especially if your fond of Narinde#Ofc you dont want to make your favorite cat boy do anything actually bad. Im still trying to balance out my Nari's past too#but I think it undermines his story and the tragedy of the situation if he didn't do anything at all to help get the ball rolling
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Okay, despite the obvious favourite (Barnaby, and possibly Howdy idk) who else would be your favorite besides the one/two?
- <3
i Refuse to put them on a tier list! they're all in a circle holding hands in my mind <3
#except for barnaby who is in the middle of the circle poised gracefully on his balancing ball <3#theyre all dancing around him and singing creepy nursery rhymes <3#yes barnaby is my favorite!#no i dont have One Over The Other preferences otherwise!#the rest Take Turns! they share the braintisserie!#rambles from the bog
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So I think I'm over my Obey Me Phase or like at least over Nightbringer because it's Season was shit but just you know food for thought...
Aint it funny how MC is now completely isolated from other humans/their friends/family/pets?
Like my friend and I were talking about it and like imagine MC has HUMAN/MORTAL family and friends that they talk to every time they were separated from the brothers. Like whenever the Immortals really tries them or pushes them they can go to their human friends for like a palate cleanser and a clear head/remind themselves and ground them to the reality of their situation/support from NOT blind lemmings. Like sort of remind them that they're still human and not on the same playing field as immortal Demons/Angels/Sorcerers
But now in Nightbringer that's literally stripped from them; MC has NO ONE outside of the Brothers/Immortals they're literally FORCED to bond with their circle of dysfunctionals and its like now you are stuck in that toxic friend circle because literally your circle of support hasn't been born/exist yet. That's fucking horrific.
No wonder MC is far more clingy and annoying in Nightbringer than they are in OG; Every lesson is a chip away at their original personality and sanity to replace it to the codependent creep MC is now lol.
#obey me nightbringer#obey me#obey me MC#obey me nightbringer MC#MC is so fucking annoying this is the only headcanon i can work with#No but like its so creepy because i always imagined MC balanced their human life and their Devildom life to stay rational but now#Well now with no circle of human/mortal supporters like their friends and family theyre literally forced to cling to the brothers#Its so terrifying about Nightbringer thats why Im still so upset we're stuck in the Past#Its shit like this that makes me unable to enjoy Time Travel Shit like I want to go for Boba with my friends but I cant do that#No i cant do that because I got a toxic friend group to babysit#No but like MC seems more stupid and clingy so my guess is theyre mentally unraveling to the point they just dont want to be alone#Like begging for validation and attention from anyone especially the immortals#Pray for MC theyre going into their codependent phase now#Don't worry; just like with real friends theyre not gonna break out of this for years until they get the courage#Which we all know MC doesnt have the balls to drop the brothers/Immortals like bad habits lol#Ima play with this headcanon until MC stops sucking or we go back to the future.#I miss MC's family and friends who have to live with the fact the immortals took them from them again
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I haven’t interacted with the MLB fandom in years. I never watched past the third season. This being said, it was technically the fandom that got me into fandoms, so I have an attachment to it. And you know what? I need fics where Marinette is having fun being challenged. Like, all of Lila’s canon bs is just so easy to unravel with a few phone calls. I need a fic of these two girls playing 5d chess with extra ethos while every single other character is at least mostly lost. Because yk what? I grew up with this baby and I need her to grow up with me. I would like blood and mind games please. If Marinette is interested romantically in anyone it better not be Adrien because he needs to sort his shit out. Anyway this got away from me and it’s a silly thing, but my point remains. I need Marinette to fuck shit up IMMEDIATELY. And you know she’s gonna be good at it. I’m not asking for a Mary Sue type Marinette (even though she already fits that character type but that’s a different conversation), I’m asking for a Marinette that lives up to what she could be. Yeah.
#marinette dupain cheng#miraculous ladybug#marinette deserves better#Marinette is a badass man#she deserved better#lila rossi#gay#DO YOU HEAR ME#BLOOD AND MIND GAMES#I DONT FORGIVE GABRIEL AGRESTE AND HIS MURDER TANTRUMS OKAY#AND I THINK MAYBE THATS ALRIGHT#LET MARINETTE FUCK SHIT UP!!!#Yeah that’s all I got#<3#Really quickly I want to clear up that Marinette should at no point be mean#At least on purpose#Marinette wants to be good. That’s a fundamental part of her.#She doesn’t want to kill or hurt anyone#nor should she want to#But cmon man. She needs enrichment#She needs a healthy villain hero dynamic#She’s a baby okay#All of them are babies#None of these LITERAL CHILDREN deserve that harsh of a punishment#I don’t hate Adrien. I don’t hate any of these literal high school children#But Marinette needs to like. Have a break with a nice villain who recognizes the balance#And not an angsty white rich dude who recognizes that this girl is AT MOST 16 and still throws her around like a beach ball#Let this girl#the ONLY COMPETENT girl#let her have fun
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i like overthink everything now it makes me feel so dumb. i used 2 be able to just talk 2 ppl but nowadays every single thing im like Is that actually going to make them hate me. Yes probably. and then i just dont respond which makes ppl hate me. this is how it is
#ive been overthinking 1 light and casual mildly funny response to something but im worried itll come off as disrespectful and dismissive And#make me seem stupid and uncaring all at the same time. and also be seen as insulting. but like idt itd be insulting right like. im not#saying what it is so ig for all you guys know im like I mean if i say All your shit suck ball and i hateit kys. <- thats not the thing i was#going to say#like it doesnt matter now the window for response is closed now but i feel stupid bc i shouldve just said it it was light and casual. im so#bad at keeping convos gojng im convinced im not going to survive. In like a light and casual way like in a He will not make it through the#winter joke way. dw. im not going to do anything bc i had One failed interaction. if i was going to do anythjng itd be bc of the 8000000#other failed interactions. But im not. anyways. it just makes me feel so useless 😭 like i want to respond i want to talk to ppl so bad but#i feel like i mess things up Irreparably every time i speak OR i take too LONG overthinking my response and then i just cant respond bc its#been too long and then its been 3 years and the only messages ive ever sent r my intro message and 1 message 2 years ago that nobody#responded to at all. or the conversation stopped immediately after. and like i used to be better at this i was lkke. talkative in a couple#muts servers like. i talked 2 ppl daily in those servers and i had fun and like. I was an important part of the group and i felt like it#but i just feel like such an outsider for Everything and its literally my fault bc i cant just like. Talk. The explosion. bc im always like#im gonna try im gonna do it this time im gonna get it back im going to finally be Good connor and im going to fix it all and make a Good#solid friend group and ill find HEALTHY LOVE and i wont selfsabotage and ill move out and have a job and ill balance it well and ill start#all my hobbies and ill have a great routine and be so loveable and on top of it and not stressed and content and happy and roll with the#punches and then theres a single hiccup and im like Well fuckinf whatever im going to be an unemployed hermit forever and im going to die b4#im 25 anyways so Who cares and also im digging a little hole for myself. and its like. AUGHH ik i just have to persevere and overcome but#even saying that feels so stupid its not fucking hard its Talking to ppl. like. i literally if ive ever said a word to you i had to think#avt it and strategize how to respond right even for like. like. it makes it sound like its not genuine it is#like for example i want to say hey i love your art! but then i freak out and im like thats not normal thats like a rly generic comment they#hear that all the time theyll thjnk im being polite and my brains like hrmmm rewrite Your art changed my life. It shaped me. Ill never be#the same. Nad im like ok too far overcorrected go back and the sentence generator is like Your art has colors 💯 like. GOD. WHY IS IT SO#difficult. and then usually i either just dont say anythinf and feel awful abt it 4ever OR i send it on anon and then i spend like 15#minutes ibsessively slightly tweaking the apelling and capitalization and punctuation to make sure it doesnt seem like its me just in case#it Is the worst possible thing to say but then i see the response and itll be like AWWW TYSM :] THIS MEANS A LOT or whathaveyou and i feel#stupid bc i couldve just Told them this to their face and it wouldve been a good positive interaction we had. but instead i had 2 hide and#tyoe entirely differently so they couldnt sniff me from my typing style. and it soesnt even feel like the thanks is actually 4 me bc i#tweaked the message sm. and it still makes me happy that the oersons hapoy but its like. that couldve been a nice mutual interaction#like not that i need a personal ty i compliment ppl when i Want to compliment ppl and when its genuine yk. i dont do it so i get mutualpoint
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What's a Red without their Blue?
Ressha Sentai ToQger
Right Suzuki & Tokashiki "Tokatti" Haru
#ressha sentai toqger#toqger#sentai#right suzuki#tokatti haru#red and blue#boisterous and boundlessly optimistic red vs ball of nerves blue#they're complete opposites but in that perfectly balanced kinda way#just two lil kids on a magic train adventure together#ngl i think line switching is my favourite gimmick of all time its PEAK team fantasy#gif post tag#tw flashing
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🤞
#exams did go fairly well#hopefully nothing worse than a B but i think an A is certainly possible in at least one of them#so hopefully 🥹🥹#i did study quite a bit not as much as i hoped for but a step up from my lack of effort the last few weeks#so hopefully i can get back to better routines now#i mean i do know probably many didn't study at all for these exams as they were not that serious#buuut if you want a good grade i feel like you have to at least i studied for like 2-3 days altough i would have liked to study for a week#also my schedule is just insane i think but then maybe it's just me idk#my time management is not the best but i still wonder how others would do with so many classes and extra activities#i have like 20 classes this semester + 2 exams i intend to take extra#i'm not attending all of them that wouldn't be possible and i'm not sure i can take all the exams but i'm happy if I manage like 17 or so#but like a normal amount is 10 classes a semester in my country but in reality most students don't take this many either#well i'm basically enrolled in two programms atm so there's that ig#but often i'm just wondering when i'm gonna study#i also play tennis a lot and competiting for my club (at a rec level)#and i'm training for this entrance exam for sports (i'm currently studying teaching with other subjects + English)#altough this is making me question if i'm fit for this everyday 🫠 i'm fairly good at 2 things ball sports and just like general athleticism#we also need to dance do gymnastics and swim i struggle with all of them#i'm not fast enough at swimming and my technique is bad i can't even do a cartwheel and a bad dancer 😭#the requirements are really high though i mean when i think of people i know from tennis or football no one would even get there closely#like i was the fastest at my former football club (and at every uni football course) and i might just barely cut it for sprinting#and i'm really quite athletic when playing tennis my opponents always notice and coordinated in sports as well#but somehow coordination for gymnastics is not the same?😅 how can i be so graceful playing tennis and most sports with balls but so clumsy#otherwise like doing a handstand... no balance 🥲#but anyways i also do like general fitness stuff going to the gym running a bit and trying to eat healthy#but my studying hours are very limited often tmrw i have uni from half 2 until 8pm in the evening and i have a preparation course for sports#before uni starts at half 10#i just really get the urge to drop everything sometimes 🥲 i also wanna see friends again more not just at uni and in the bus#i miss my semesters with 10 courses a week it was beautiful so much freedom and free time 🥹#uni was so enjoyable back then... don't get me wrong i enjoy most of my uni courses what i not enjoy is not having any time to myself
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Back again with my clay shenanigans 💪💪 he looks so fucking stupid
I actually sculpted this the same day I did baby Bill but I didn’t finish painting him until now. I’ve been working on him on/off for monthssss and I even bought new paint so the reds could be bright enough for his design.
#vox hazbin hotel#sculpture#clay art#air dry clay#This has been (HAZBIN?? [kms]) so fun to work on because I made him in like#25 minutes and he’s lumpy and has weird proportions and balance issues#but he is COLORFUL and full of LIFE!!!#Hopefully not too much life though…#wanna hear about why I made him in the first place? Of course you do!!!#Of course you do.#Important thing to know about me: I’m not particularly scared or superstitious#but I do not FUCK with fire or with possession.#So my cousin made this weird little clay puppet thing to look like me but it Did Not.#She was terrifying in all the ways a clay doll could be terrifying.#Strange but not so strange she was beautiful.#Just the fucking worst.#And my cousin plucked one of my precious hairs from my scalp and shoved it in the thing’s mouth so it would contain my essence or some shit#I DO NOT WANT THAT MOTHERFUCKER CONTAINING MY ESSENCE!!#I mashed her up into a ball and decided to seal her away.#Make sure her spirit was overridden by something Stronger and more recognizable.#I was (and still am rip) in my Vox obsession so I was like okay#I am gonna make my guy and he will make sure the imposter stays gone forever.#With the last bit of paint I put on Vox Hazbin hotel he was finished and completely covered in multiple coats of admittedly cheap paint.#No way is she getting out now#Fuck off please evil spirit 🙏🙏#If you read all this YOU are the crazy one#Not me#ignore the background#hazbin hotel
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Hgggg
Had one of those sundays where i felt just like
A little bit like shit all day
So i didn't really get any of my comic work done and it just kinda became a Lost Day
So now as consequence my brain won't let me go to bed because i did not Satisfy the Requirements as Set Beforehand
But i would like to actually set myself up for a successful week of going to bed on timebl because i haven't the last two weeks and i can Feel it slowly destroying me spiritually, mentally, and physically
But sometimes there js Naught you can do in the face of Wanton Mental Illness
#monster noises#i know i know my meteric for a successful day should not be tied to Productivity#but in my Defense that isn't Exactly what's happened here#i mean#yeah#i'm dissapointed that i didn't get the ball rolling until like 8pm and thus only had an hour to Work#but going to bed issue#is more about me setting the Plan and Expectation that I would do Comic Work today#but i didn't Fulfill that Expectation and therefore the Balance is Off and the Days Not Done#because we haven't Fulfilled the Criteria#i would have this same probelm if I had set aside today as a Relax Day but spent the whole day Stressing Out or Doing Chores/Work#without doing the classic half-day reset#where sometimes i'm In Control enough to realize when the day has gotten away from me and Pivot the Expectations to Just Chilling#then at the end of the day i Have met my Expectations and can just Siddle into bed no issues#but today i was not that Strong Willed#and kept Insisting that i Would get to my comic writing#Just After This Last Thing#but there was always One More Thing#and i felt like i was trapped under a sheet of plexiglass and couldn't fully wake up all day#so there was no pivot#i just stayed Stubborn until i had my dinner - then wrote maybe one page#and put it down for the evening#and that was not enough to satisfy the internal control team#and now i must sit here and Yearn instead of going to Sleep#it is Silly and i wish for it Not to be Happening
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i can never really buy comedians who play into the weird awkward loser persona because its like you have to have a MASSIVE ego to become a comedian. don’t get me wrong i love a lot of comedians but to base your entire career on thinking you are funny is like. it takes an overwhelming level of confidence so every time someone like richard ayoade tries to convince me they’re some weird awkward loser it just falls flat. girl i KNOW you think you're funny and that just kills it for me. true losers know they are not funny
#does this make sense because like#you can be a comedian and be self deprecating and have low self esteem#but not to the extent an average person might#because otherwise you would not be on television or in front of crowds of people#specifically because part of you believes you are funny enough to get paid to make people laugh#and you would not have the balls to do shit like panel shows and jump into the conversation with jokes all the time#the reason i like david mitchell is like he's just Like That. and he balances genuine confident with being a loser#in a way that is very natural. he's not trying to play a character or convince people of anything#he's just a guy who is funny and also happens to be self deprecating and awkward#such is the nature of english men
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Being a music-based synesthete with absolute pitch is wonderful but so frustrating because the vast majority of people have no context for the way I experience music and thus whenever I try to explain it it makes no sense to them. What do you mean you can't tell what color this song is. What do you mean you don't hear a Bb minor chord and feel your body react to it before your brain does. What do you mean you can't feel the warm sunbeams of D major dancing across your face. My world is filled with musical color but even if people think it's cool they will never really see it and it makes me sad
#mel's musings#to say NOTHING of all the melodic and harmonic figures that make me go fucking feral that laypeople have no frame of reference for#all i want is to go into excruciating detail about my favorite chords and progressions and dissonances and how they make me feel#but i have almost no way of doing that without sounding like an absolute lunatic. tragic :'(#it's honestly one of my biggest reservations when it comes to posting more of my musical analysis here#i want to talk about how harmonic language among other things is used to express emotion in video game music#but i genuinely don't know how to do that without speedrunning everyone through semester 1 of my college music theory class#i need to cover my bases in that sense for non-musicians reading. but it'd also be boring for people who've already been through that#plus that excessive explanation would distract from the points i REALLY wanna make#how do i explain modal mixture or secondary dominance to people who don't know functional harmony. truly#and how do i balance the basic stuff with Actual Analysis for my fellow music freaks. because i KNOW y'all are out there too#maybe one day i'll just say fuck it we ball and throw something out there despite my fear of being too technical#but who knows honestly. the adhd is still adhd-ing and the Fog is still Fogging. unfortunately#but anyway uhhh. if you made it this far thanks i guess and if you have feedback i'd love to hear it#music nerd shit
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how balanced or overpowered would a Super Saiyan in the Honkai Starrail world be...
#sky of royals#like. if a bitch like. idk future trunks (chosen bc is our favorite character). was just. isekaied. into that world all of a sudden.#no change to him as a being. no change to abilities or powers or anything.#dragon ball#honkai star rail#our brain likes to combine our spins/hyperfixations#this is the result#''how much would this character DESTROY the canon power balancing of (thing)?''
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bridgerton not beating life ends with marriage allegations
#i hate that we are barelyyyy seeing kate anthony and daphne#s2 made such a big deal of kate being the new viscountess bridgerton and then this season she does like. none of that#obv i dont want to loose violet but i think we could balance both of them#yeah and i miss daphne. s1 is my fave and shes my fave out of her anthony and colin what can i say#itd be nice to see her hosting balls that things could happen at#like maybe they all dont really want to do the show?? but like hire people that do thennn. i dont really think this is the reason#cause like. u sign on to a tv show you do multiple series. not leave after one#this doesnt apply to simon i think his actor genuinely didnt want to do it and good for him and also hes the easiest to write off.#but kate anthony and daphne all still seem to want to do the show!#idk#its just frustraing to intro a character and make you care and then they leave#w later seasons hopefully former mains will stick around. we cant get to s6 and there be only 3 bridgertons#maybe when violet gets married to this guy shell move in with him and then anthony and kate will properly step up to the roles onscreen#bridgerton
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