#BUT good thing is i feel good about this schedule (maybe just right now in the moment lskdhgdf)
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nameless-jamie · 3 days ago
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Can we get a story with Shandy doing the videos for the dating app and PA being there?
Maybe she’s a bit snarky with Shandy. And shandy hates that all the team love PA.
Bantr, not Banter.
Masterlist
Jamie Tartt x fem! PA reader
A/N: Omg yes! That totally gave me an idea. I hope you like it!
TW: cursing, suggestive scenes
The training room buzzed with the usual energy of AFC Richmond’s players as they gathered for the Bantr profile video shoot. Y/N was there too, as always. Where Jamie goes, Y/N goes. As his personal assistant, she was used to being around the team, even in the locker room. She had trained herself to keep her eyes focused on her laptop while the boys were changing. The funny thing was, they didn’t mind her being there at all. In fact, they enjoyed her presence, often asking where she was when she wasn’t around.
Today was no different. Y/N sat on the worn-out couch in the corner of the locker room, laptop open in front of her. She was supposed to be working—answering emails, scheduling Jamie’s endless appointments—but today, that felt impossible. Keeley's friend and PR assistant, Shandy, was there. Totally in her element, camera in hand, ready to capture the players’ finest one-liners for Bantr’s promotional videos.
"Alright, let’s get this party started!" Shandy’s voice rang out, cheerful and grating. "Bantr’s not gonna promote itself, right, guys?"
If you asked Y/N what she thinks of Shandy, she would say she doesn’t really know her. They’ve only spent a few hours together in the locker room with the team, and she wouldn’t judge a book by its cover…
If you asked Y/N again—this time for her honest opinion—she would say that Shandy is a bitch. Chaotic, overconfident, and totally unprofessional. The team would agree with her on that. Shandy knows exactly how to make someone feel uncomfortable, always flirting with every player, from Isaac to Bumbercatch. Worst of all, she flirted the heaviest with a certain Jamie Tartt.
Yes, Jamie was Shandy's latest target. And Y/N didn’t like that one bit. Not that she was jealous or anything… but every time Shandy shot a flirty remark at Jamie, it became harder to pretend she didn’t want to strangle her with the damn camera cord.
Jamie wasn’t too pleased with Shandy’s flirting either.
She had been making sly remarks all day, but Jamie—looking mildly annoyed—had been doing his best to ignore her. He could feel her eyes on him, her attempts to get his attention, but he wasn’t biting. He wanted nothing to do with it.
Shandy, however, wasn’t taking the hint. She leaned in closer, flashing her best flirty smile as she fiddled with the camera. “So, Jamie,” she started, her voice sickeningly sweet, “what do you look for in a woman? Someone who can keep up with you?”
Jamie gave her a flat look, his lips barely curling into a smile. “I don’t know, Shandy,” he said, trying to keep his tone neutral. “Maybe someone who knows when to leave me alone.”
Shandy pretended to pout, playing up the act. “Aw, come on, I’m just trying to have a little fun with you, Jamie. You know, we could have a blast together. Maybe after the shoot, we could grab a drink?”
Jamie raised an eyebrow, clearly weirded out by her antics, but too nice to really shut her down. “I’m good. I don’t drink at the moment—you know, with training and everything,” he muttered, his attention flicking over to Y/N, who was busy talking to Van Damme about his catchphrase for his own Bantr video. Jamie sighed. “Can I just say my line now?”
"Alright, Jamie," Shandy purred, adjusting the camera to get a better angle on him. "Tell the ladies what you're looking for in a partner."
Y/N's attention shifted to Jamie as the camera started rolling, curious about what he had rehearsed for the video.
Jamie, ever the charmer, gave a lazy smirk, leaning back in his chair with a cocky grin. "I'm Jamie fucking Tartt. I'm a footballer. And I promise you, I'm so charming, I'll make you laugh all the time… unless you want me to make you cry. Then, well, I’ve got my ways to do that too."
Y/N rolled her eyes at his prickish attitude. The team, however, erupted into woohoos and wolf whistles, clearly entertained.
While the other players were still chuckling at Jamie's flirty punchline, Shandy wasn’t done shooting her shot. She took a step closer, turning the camera off and lowering her voice just a little too much. "Oh, Jamie, I bet you could make me cry in more ways than one. If you don't drink, we could grab something to eat instead. Or your little servant over there could book us a hotel room... whatever you like."
Y/N’s brow furrowed as she looked up from her phone at the mention of herself, sensing the shift in the air. The locker room went quiet, but the glares directed at Shandy—especially from the players—spoke volumes. Her advances were hardly subtle, and Y/N could see it in Jamie’s eyes—he wasn’t interested. Still, it bothered her that Shandy kept pushing it. And calling her a servant? What a fucking b...
Y/N stood up, taking a deep breath. She had no patience for this—especially not today.
"Actually, Sandy," Y/N spoke up.
"Uhm—it's Shandy!" the annoying girl interrupted.
"Sandy, Shandy, Mandy—I don't care," Y/N shot back. "Jamie’s schedule is pretty packed today," she continued, her voice cutting through the tension in the room. "Training, a meeting with the coaches, and then he’s got to go over next week’s schedule with me. No time for dates—today or ever."
Jamie’s smirk deepened. He was relieved Y/N had saved him from the situation, but more than that, he found the slight jealousy in her voice ridiculously hot.
There was a beat of silence as the words sank in, and Shandy’s mouth opened and closed, a mix of surprise and disbelief crossing her face. Y/N, for a moment, didn’t know whether to laugh or roll her eyes.
“Oh, really?” Shandy finally stammered, clearly caught off guard. “Don’t you have to go fetch coffee or clean up after someone? You’re kind of killing my vibe here, girl.”
The tension in the room thickened, and for a moment, it felt like time had stopped. The team exchanged looks, and before anyone could react, Jamie’s voice cut through the air like a knife.
“Woah! Hey, hey,” he said, stepping forward, his face hardening. “Don’t talk to her like that, or we’re gonna have a bit of a problem here.” His eyes locked onto Shandy’s, fierce and unwavering. “She’s off-limits—ask anyone here.”
Shandy scoffed, clearly irritated. She glanced around the room and quickly realized that everyone was staring her down, their expressions a mix of annoyance and disapproval.
“Oh, I see,” she sneered. “You’re defending her, huh? What, is she your little girlfriend or something?”
Jamie’s gaze turned ice cold as he crossed his arms, stepping closer to Y/N as if to shield her from Shandy’s venomous words. Y/N could handle herself just fine, but she had to admit—it was nice having Jamie step in.
But, of course, he wouldn’t be Jamie Tartt if he didn’t make the situation extra.
“Nah,” he said, smirking. “She’s me wife.”
That idiot.
Before Y/N could react, Jamie slung an arm around her shoulder, grinning from ear to ear.
Y/N felt heat rise to her cheeks but quickly composed herself, trying not to let it show. “Cut it out, Jamie,” she whispered, half-smiling as she tried to play it cool. She wasn’t his girlfriend, and she was definitely not his wife, but the title made her heart race. Chill. You’re his assistant, Y/N.
Shandy’s mouth dropped open, her jaw working as if she couldn’t quite process what he had just said. Jamie’s smirk didn’t waver as he turned his attention back to Y/N, throwing her a wink.
Completely flustered, Shandy huffed, muttered a barely coherent “Whatever,” and started packing up her equipment before storming out of the locker room.
The second the door shut behind her, Y/N let out a small laugh and shot Jamie an amused look. “Really? I’m your wife now?” she asked, raising an eyebrow. “Where’s my ring, Tartt?” She wiggled her ring finger in front of his face.
Jamie just shrugged, a playful grin tugging at his lips. “I thought it’d shut her up,” he said nonchalantly. “And, well… it kinda worked.”
She’ll get her ring… someday, he thought.
Y/N chuckled, shaking her head. “You’re a mess, Jamie Tartt.”
“And you’re responsible for this mess,” he quipped, giving her a wink, clearly pleased with himself.
The players exchanged knowing glances, smirking to themselves. It seemed the entire room had just witnessed something that felt almost… too perfect.
It was just so obvious to everyone—except them—that they were completely, hopelessly in love.
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yangjungwonisms · 2 days ago
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Hi all!! Here’s a random JW one shot I wrote a few weeks ago! Hope you enjoy! And if you see any of these posted on Ao3 it is me!! I’ve posting them there under a different account @ najaemincoded
CW: NSFW MDNI 18+
An Indecent Proposal- YJW
You knew how everyone saw Jungwon. He was always so sweet and caring and reliable it drove you crazy. Every single thing about him got under your skin. You know, it sounded like you hated him really you didn’t. In fact you were deeply in love with him. He happened to share that sentiment. You two also happened to be in a relationship. You’d been together nearing 2 years now. Hell you even lived together. What drives you crazy is how good he is at showing everyone just how good of a guy he is. It’s not for show, he is all of those things and more. What you can’t stand is how innocent and cute everyone thinks he is. And in some ways they aren’t wrong but Jungwon hasn’t been innocent in your relationship for a long time now. As a matter of fact, he’s way more perverted than you are. You swear it’s true. He’s very much the sweet and caring boyfriend everyone paints him out to be, but he’s also dangerous.
It was just another day for you two. You hadn’t spent much time together the last few days due to your work schedules so you were both a little needy for each other. Jungwon would message you every once in awhile during the day when he had free time. The conversations you two were having hadn’t even indicated if he was feeling one way or another.
You were standing in the kitchen scrolling on your phone when Jungwon arrived home. You didn’t even hear him walk in that’s how quiet he was. You really didn’t know what had gotten him so wound up given that he’d just laid eyes on you for the first time all day. You were alerted to his presence when he hugged you from behind. You immediately relaxed in his arms finally feeling all of the anxiety and stress from the week melt off of you. You could tell by the urgency of his movements that he was in a mood. “Fuck baby, you look so sexy right now”. You were sure he’d gone crazy, you were in an oversized t shirt and sweatpants. “Jungwon what on earth are you talking about. Look at me, how is this sexy to you”? You couldn’t help but let out an incredulous laugh. He could only shake his head and chuckle. “Kitty, you should know by now I always find you sexy”. Oh god, you knew as soon as he called you ‘Kitty’ that you were in for it. You turn yourself around to where you are now facing him . “Hmm you look pretty sexy yourself baby”. He really did too. He was wearing what he wore to the office every single day, maybe it was the sleeves of his shirt pushed up showing off the veins in his arms. Maybe it was the expression he wore on his face or maybe it was his hair pushed off his forehead. It was a deadly combination of everything. Within seconds he had you backed up against the counter and your lips locked in a heated kiss. You couldn’t help but let out a sigh at the contact. You’d been waiting to feel his lips on you all day. You can feel him get more worked up by each second that passes.
You two stay like this for a little while just enjoying being with each other. “mmm so sexy baby. love kissing you could do it all day”. He made a point to start leaving kisses down your neck each one messier than the last. “Then keep kissing me won. please I missed you so much today”. You knew you were screwed when he let out a sinister laugh upon hearing your confession. “want your mouth on something else baby. Get on your knees for me”. You’d think he was being bossy if not for the fact he knows how much you like it. You hadn’t realized how hard he had gotten until you were on your knees face to face with his clothed cock. He made quick work of getting his pants and boxers off so you could get to work. Normally he lets you work up to it but today he was way too wound up to wait for you. You’d never tire of the predatory way he stared at you when ordering you around. “Wanna make you choke okay princess”? You knew it wasn’t a question.
He was inpatient today. It was bad enough he doesn’t get to see you much during the week but combine that with the work piling up on his desk and his desperation for you and you were a goner. He knew he was being a little over the top with you but he planned on making it up to you just as soon as he was satisfied.
Wasting no time he grabbed hold of his cock taking a second to tap the head of it on your mouth signaling for you to open up. The pace he sets is unrelenting. The only time he’s giving you to adjust is the time it takes for you to take him fully in your mouth. Once he’s bottomed out his hands find purchase in your hair gently guiding your movements. After a few seconds he stills your movements altogether holding your head in place so he can continue to fuck your mouth. You truly didn’t mind him using you this way, in fact you loved it. In the privacy of your own home you two often had intimate moments such as these. From the outside it looks like Jungwon is brutal and mean with the way he speaks to you and the things he makes you do. But when you two became involved with each other you were both inexperienced virgins. Neither of you had any idea what pleasure meant to you. But through time and plenty of trial and error you two came to define your sexual relationship. Your roles came naturally to you both. You tended to take a more submissive approach to your encounters while Jungwon tended to become more dominant. He needed this and you knew that. So much of his day to day life is answering to other people and managing his own team. He loves his job but what he lacks in his professional life he makes up for in his personal life. And so because of that, you’d let him use you whatever way he needed knowing it made him happy. Also because he’d make it up to you tenfold when he was finished.
Even though you were struggling to breathe and there were tears running down your face you could never get enough. It was worth it with how heavenly he sounded. Even more so with how heavenly he looked. He had a habit of rambling off the filthiest words while getting himself off. He almost always had his eyes closed with his brow furrowed. The sexiest thing was the closer he’d get to finishing the more he’d bite his lip to try and keep his pretty little noises at bay. But he knew how much you needed to hear him so eventually he stopped holding back.
Your boy has the face of an Angel but the words that tumble out of his mouth are anything but. “Fuck, such a good fucking good girl taking my cock like this huh. God you fucking love it baby I know you do”. It’s then he takes a second and makes eye contact with you. His beautiful desperate little slut on her knees being so good for him. This and countless other things are why he loves you so much. His love for you often consumes him but it’s also what anchors him and brings him back down to earth.
He’s known for awhile now that he was going to marry you someday. But moments like this bring a kind of clarity he’s grateful for. Which is why the closer he gets to climax the less control he has over his words. He meant to do it a different way. He wanted it to be all about you but he just couldn’t help himself. “So beautiful for me like this baby. Fuck baby you’re doing so good for me. God you know I love you so much right”? He’s staring right at you one hand caressing your cheek. He’s seen you like this for him countless times but something about this moment makes it feel more raw and emotional than it ever has. He doesn’t need you to answer he knows you’re very aware of how he feels about you and how much he loves you. “Gonna marry you one day baby. Gonna give you everything you’d ever need. Fuck please marry me baby, gonna make you so happy”. By that time he was so high off how your mouth was making him feel that he was no longer in the same room as you having finished mere minutes after his accidental proposal.
You choose not to mention it until after he’s regained his composure. In fact, you both go about your business after that. He pulls you off of him giving you a quick kiss before beelining to the bathroom to shower. You can tell he’s embarrassed but if he’d actually talked to you about it instead of running away he’d have known how badly you wanted to say yes. You leave it be until after dinner, figuring he needs time to himself to sort through his emotions. But when you’re getting ready for bed and he still hasn’t mentioned it you can’t take it anymore. “Are we gonna talk about it won? And don’t try and play coy and act like you don’t know what I mean”. He freezes in place the moment you brought it up. “Won it’s okay. You don’t have to mean it, I understand you were caught up in the moment. It’s okay really”. That seemed to snap him out of it. He paused for a second looking deep in thought before he got up and walked across the room. You aren’t sure what he’s doing until he comes back with a box in his hand and motions for you to sit down next to him. “Princess you misunderstand, it’s not that I’m embarrassed or even regret that I proposed to you. I’ve been planning to for awhile now”. Now you’re confused even more. “Okay wonie if that’s the case then why have you been avoiding me”? He couldn’t help but let out a laugh he’d been holding in for hours. “Baby, the reason I’ve been avoiding you is because I proposed to you while you were giving me head. You deserved far more from me than that”. You’d be damned if that didn’t make you even more sure of your answer.
“Won, to anyone else I could see how it’d be embarrassing but, it’s you and it’s me, it doesn’t matter the circumstances”. Pausing for a second you continue “did you mean it though baby”? You could’ve swore you saw stars in his eyes when you asked him that. He didn’t go to answer immediately, instead he moved from where he was sitting and got down on one knee. “God you’re so perfect baby. Please for the love of god, marry me”? You knew it was coming and you’re still overwhelmed. “How long have you had this ring for”? Without skipping a beat “I’ve had this ring since the first time I told you I loved you. I was so sure within weeks of meeting you that I wanted to marry you someday”. You can’t even form words all you can do is nod your head. “Princess I need to hear it”. Forcing yourself to focus you reply with “Yang Jungwon I want nothing more than to marry you”. He wasted no time taking the ring out of the box and placing it on your finger. You were so overwhelmed with emotions that all you could focus on was how sexy he looked in that moment. You needed him and you needed him now. “Baby, get on the bed”. He turned his head to the side giving you a confused look. “Jungwon, get on the bed”. Once he finally moves to the bed you waste no time launching yourself onto him. At first you’re just kissing him wanting to relish in the feeling of being newly engaged. When you pulled away from the kiss he let out sounds of protest not wanting to break the kiss. You look at him before leaning in to whisper in his ear “baby, can I ride you please”? God how could he say no when you were looking at him with puppy dog eyes. “Fuck baby, go ahead”. You don’t hesitate to rip off any remaining clothing. You’re so desperate you forego any foreplay seeing how he’s visibly straining against his sweats. You opt to sink down on him with no prep, you knew you were ready to take him having been wet since you gave him head earlier. Jungwon thinks he’s in heaven watching you ride him like there’s no tomorrow . Jungwon was no stranger to you riding him but he can’t remember a time you set such a fast pace right off the bat. “Fuck you’re riding my cock so good baby. You always take it like a pro. You gonna let me cum in your pussy pretty baby? Gonna take what I give you huh”. It didn’t take long for either of you to finish. But the moment you did Jungwon flipped you over onto your back and started fucking you again. This time he kept a slower pace choosing to take this moment to really feel you. Once he made you cum one more time he pulled out of you and proceeded to start eating you out. He always did love to eat your pussy when you were well and truly spent with no fight left in you. You can only imagine what’s in store for the rest of the evening. In fact, you’re sure the festivities are going to continue throughout the weekend.
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tekesima · 15 hours ago
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this is the 5th and unfortunately last page of this mini comic. This was intended to be a quick project but ended up stretching to almost if not a year of work due to my commitments to irl stuff. I loved working on this and I'm once again thankful to @blood-injections for letting me make these few pages based off their post here.
you can find the previous pages here: 1, 2&3, 4
more explanation and background beneath the cut
I underestimated the amount of work that would go into making these, especially with all the pages being fully rendered. Initially there were supposed to be 6 pages but I ended up having to stretch it to 7 pages. But now I've decided to end it here on the 5th page due to a number of reasons. The first being that I just unfortunately do not have the time for this kind of commitment anymore with me in college now. I also have just moved on from mcr content and have been more interested in other bands and other media. Another reason is that I do not have a lot of time in general to even do digital drawings anymore and finally I feel like my art style right now that I'm currently happy with is a departure from the style that i started this comic with, and it just doesn't fit it very well.
I felt pretty bad having to take so long on working on these pages and only coming out with one, maybe two pages after 3 months, since i've only been able to work on these during my semester breaks.
Thank you to people who've been following and reading along, and again, thank you so so much to @/blood-injections for giving me permission to make their post into this short comic, even if I never ended up finishing it.
This part will just be some final thoughts. I learned a lot while making the pages; panel shapes and placement and how to make it appealing, how to space out and arrange speech bubbles to make the dialog more digestible and easy to read, how to sort of draw out the sound effects which I'm still trying to get the hang of in terms of fonts. The hardest thing I found about making all of these is consistency, not just in terms of schedule but in terms the process of making the comic itself, particularly the designs of the characters. I hadn't created a character reference sheet at all for this since I anticipated it to be short and quick (it was not lol), and so there were quite a few times where I found myself accidentally forgetting to draw some details of the character's designs but since I had already posted them, all I could do was just add the designs I missed in the next pages. I hope that didn't bug you all too much :'3
That's pretty much all I have to say, thank you for the people that stuck around this long but I apologize for not being able to continue the comic due to personal commitments and having moved on to other interests. I hope you all have a good one :]
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icewindandboringhorror · 3 months ago
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Little bright colored outfit with a fun vest ~
(shoes from ebay like 10 years ago. everything else is thrifted)
#ootd#jfashion#fashion#fantasy fashion#mori kei#....like... adjacent... lol#no idea what style this would be lol.. makes me think of like whimsical vaguely fantasy themed childrens book character#finally posting one of my aforementioned seven million drafts of actual outfits and costumes i have finished and edited#the photos for but just never feel like posting lol..#I need to find one of those people whos like 'omg i am ADDICTED to social media ugh i wish i could get off of it#im just browsing and posting like 60 times a daaaaay!!!' and take a little magical bottle and suck some of the social media#enthusiasim out of them. for moi. In exchange they can have some of my 'literally just never in the mood to post or interact with the#outside world ever' energy. We can balance each other. huzzah and so on#Though I think maybe it's part of the general thing I've heard of like.. I can't remember if it was in reference to adhd or just some sort#of general execcutive functioning issue type of thing - but the idea that things have to be ''just right'' before you do something. like#'oh i need to do this task. but i have to wait until XYZ first' or 'oh i can do this but only if X specific condition is met' or etc#The fact that I even have to be in a Specific Mindset to post. or sometimes will delay posting on social media because like 'oh well#I'm going somewhere tomorrow. somehow this matters. i cannot spend 5 minuts posting TONIGHT. clearly it will interfere#somehow schedule wise with the doctor appointment i have 15 hours from now. yes. yes. i must wait until my appointment is over#tomorrow afternoon. THEN i shall post' or etc. etc. lol. NOT even taking into account the many days#I just genuinely and physically sick and it's not even a mental thing. I just physically dont feel like sitting at the computer lol..#ANYWAY.. trying to get back into it. trying to get a business bank account.. make a proper paypal so i can start selling sculptures again.#selling clothes and sculptures.. posting about such things then of course as one must. etc... chanting to hype up and motivate myself lol#But yes. this is my favorite outfit out of the bunch so I am posting it first I guess.. maybe others later..#Also the purple dress says its from shein. which I've heard is bad fast fashion stuff. but maybe okay since its second hand? I havent#been to the bins since like 2020 or late 2019 even. and I think stuff like shein and temu has only become poular in the past few years#but I bet if I went to the bins now I might would find a good handfull of that stuff. Probably now not much different than what you#find in a walmart or a forever 21 or actual physical stores you can go to though. I hear quality of clothing is down everywhere no matter#where you get it or whatnot. What bountiful joys unfettered capitalism and exploitation bestows upon us (<being sarcastic).#Wearing one of my favorite little vests though. I love the texture of it and the clasps on it
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moth-flowers · 5 months ago
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moth-flowers #17
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sol-flo · 1 year ago
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um. ok. got my first hrt appointment tomorrow morning :3
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todayisafridaynight · 2 years ago
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grabbing the ichi plush by the neck and death gripping it like 'good things are to come its all going to be ok good things are to come' like its a lucky amulet
#snap chats#i didnt even pre order the ichi plush but spiritually i did. good luck charm.#anyway rant time look away from here. Im At My Limit <- i say this every week#I DONT EVEN KNOW WHATS WRONG <- lying. my moms home#i just feel terrible again. i feel so awful i gave myself a headache from being upset#do you know how upset you have to be to give yourself a headache just sitting and thinking#that happened when i was taking a spanish test once but i think i was just so stupid my brain actually started to hurt trying to think#i also remember being sad as hell that day tho so....... maybe it was both#everyday it feels like im sad thats so fucked up and theres nothing i can do about it#ALSO IT'S RAINING AGAIN rain never promises anything good unless you're a plant#im working but i should have this done in. idk a few hours#and then its the weekend right.... there's no limitations for sadness though brother doesn't run on a schedule#unless we're talking about seasonal depression but we know what i mean#ew im supposed to go to that con tomorrow i dont even know if i want to go anymore#i just don't want to do anything anymore ig is the vibe#idk i have a journal to whine bout all this in ╮(╯-╰)╭ squeezing ichi plush is a mood tho so im still posting#maybe if i play a lil y7 ill remember theres good things to wake up for..#also i gave myself another headache OWOWOWOW STOP when will it end#wait let me be sad again because my dad said we'd hang out today or tomorrow#but i just know that's not happening and now im even more sad WEHHH no one loves me etc etc die#sometimes you just need a melodramatic teenager moment i think we're all due that right like once a month#ok i have to stop my head really hurts ☠️☠️☠️
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stereax · 11 months ago
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woohoo spiraling out of control right now (what else is new really I've been fucked up and spiraling for weeks now) and trying to figure out reasons not to delete my tumblr and discord and myself along the way
but you know. talking about myself on my blog automatically means I'm attention seeking and fishing for pity right? should just shut up and stick to the news eh, it's all I'm good for :D
anyway if you need me I'll be in the corner reliving the past, coming to terms with reality, and trying to convince myself I'm not the problem despite every indication to the contrary ✌︎︎
#sterechats :)#09:58 pm - this is a bad idea but scheduling it anyway#what's the worst that can happen really? everyone leaves again? nobody talks to me again?#probably gonna delete this in the morning so. meh. not like it matters not like I matter :D#10:29 pm - wow it feels like my head is on fire#like my brain is actually burning and I can't do a damn thing about it#I should be happy right now! the devils are winning! my favorite guys are scoring!#but no! I'm barely keeping it together around my family and praying I don't wake up tomorrow <3#11:00 pm - I need to get out of here#I need to get out of here out of here out of here I can't stay here any more this is killing me#everyone hates me and I need to chew my arms open maybe then everything will make sense#why am I even writing these tags what does it matter#I was so much more in control of myself when I was sh-ing#maybe I should get back to that maybe it'll help I don't know anymore#I just want my friends back but they hate me hahahaha#11:24 pm - wonder how many people are gonna block me after this one#how many people will finally be fed up and leave for good#everyone leaves and I should be used to this by now#here's a truck stop instead of saint peter's (yeah yeah yeah yeah)#11:41 pm - it's friday afternoon/there goes antigone to be buried alive#in the next world I want to be something useful/like a staple gun/or in love#I would fall off a cliff for you/a thousand times and call it a good day#maybe I'm just incapable of being human! maybe that's it!#maybe I'm not even human at all... but something worse instead...#1:22 am - moving the posting of this back from 3 to 6 am#not that that matters and not that I matter but I don't think I'll sleep#and I don't want this to post when I'm awake#I know I'm just going to get unfollowed and blocked and left behind as always#because happiness and good things and friendships just aren't things I get to have really#I just wish people would stop lying and telling me they're different and they'll stay when they're not different and won't stay
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hellfireeddiemunson · 1 year ago
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i have bad melted soup brain today and i hate it
#i have never really felt like just disappearing off of the face of the earth and not talking to Anyone before but i have been thinking of it#a lot today! which is wild bc not my normal isolation thought but today it seems good ahahahaha#i am just. tired. i feel like i am not listened to ever and i feel unwanted as hell lately which i know in the back of my mind i am not#unwanted but boy do it feel like that lately lol. and i’ve been back on my ‘im gonna die alone bc nobody ever will love me how i love them’#bullshit which i have Not missed but it is come back full on ! soooo fun for me hahahahahaha i love to feel miserable about being unwanted#by those around me!!!! love it sooooooooooo much weeeeeee i totally don’t wanna slam my head through a window!!!!#also just in general lately i have felt like people talking to me is a chore to them bc nobody around me has been having actual conversation#it’s all been shit ass one word or one sentence replies from everyone or they talk about what they want and not acknowledge what i said and#i don’t even know what to do about it. i just don’t even want to talk to anyone now bc i feel like they literally don’t want to speak to me#and they don’t care what i have to say clearly bc they don’t pay attention and then bring up what i said says or weeks later like i never#said anything and it’s like hm wow yeah i fucking told you about that??? maybe if you pay attention you’d have known that but it’s fine !!!!#I’m just. tired of it. i am fully understanding of everyone having lives and doing their own things they need to do. but this is like. fr#different. like it feels so much different than that and i don’t get it and i don’t know what to do !!!!!!! i feel like i’m going Nuts#anyways if any of you wanna stick me through a meat grinder i would be forever thankful and you have the rights to take anything i own after#what this boils down to is my autistic ass is like everyone is not doing their normal thing!!! everyone is off their normal talking schedule#with me!!!! this must mean they fucking want me dead!!!!!!!!!!!!!! bc they went off script/pattern and not in a way they have in the past#that indicated that they just are struggling to reach out! this is different and bad and they want you out of their life!!!!!!!#which is ridiculous but what the fuck am i to do about it bc i will be thinking this until i basically am told otherwise by these people. so#that’s soooo much fun i love brains they’re so silly i wish i could jump at a wall and stick to it until i just slowly peel off and onto the#floor. anyways. hope everyone else has a good night
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pandora15 · 2 years ago
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i think it's really rude of the excedrin i took a few hours ago to not work
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strohller27 · 4 months ago
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#Been having some birthday thoughts#because if I'm left to my own devices I end up self-reflecting and navel gazing#and of course sometimes this is not a good thing but whatever I guess it's just a tradition now#I don't want this to sound like the cliché 'I'm not getting any younger'/'I'm an old man now' shit but like. I have to admit#I do have the feeling that I'm running out of time to be acting like I have been. Kinda lackadaisical like I acted in my 20s.#I do have the feeling that I need to shape up and start learning how to human adult. It's just that.#It feels like so much of it is out of my hands. I try my hardest and everything still seems to end up being harder than it maybe needs to b#I know what I need. I need a better paying job. car insurance. health insurance. a local number. a regular schedule. real days off#but those things (esp. looking for a new job) cost money time and energy I don't have right now#And what I want and what I need are at odds. I want to be able to wear a kilt to work and buy hockey cards and kiss I mean see my coworker#But maybe I need to grow the fuck up and realise that the things I want aren't more important that my physical/mental well being#Maybe I need to grow the fuck up and prioritise my needs over such childish wants#Unfortunately satisfying some of those wants are the only thing other than going to the lake that are bringing me joy right now.#I've got a lot to think about right now. And I have some difficult decisions coming up ahead#But for tonight I will celebrate my birthday and eat seafood and watch star trek and not think about tomorrow
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phagodyke · 8 months ago
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friends are making plans to go stay with each other but it's the weekend I'm going to see my favourite band. the universe fucking hates me
#I CANNOT have a third rsd episode in the space of a month i will kill myself. or at least do near irreperable damage#wish i was joking. i feel like im going to throw up even just thinking about it#well. well i can skip the concert i guess. i saw them last year anyway theyre just doing a second europe tour of the same album#and theyll probably release another album in a few years and i can see them again then#ahhh. ah okay okay i cant think about this right now ill decide at the weekend its not for a few weeks anyway#ahhhhhh but maybe theyre doing this bc they dont want me there idr if they know abt it already and if they wanted me there they would#plan it with me from the start instead of telling me once theyve already made the plan oh i cant do this right now i will Spiral#im going to take a cold shower 👍#to clear my head i was just starting to feel better @ my brain like that dont fucking ruin this for us andy samberg corgi gif#its fine i dont need to panic. im just frazzled from work i lost the ability to focus after like 3pm but they kept sending me emails with#stuff they want me to do before the end of the week and i was having stupid levels of task paralysis trying to think about it#bc i dont have time to fit everything into my schedule and its multiple projects so much thought. and my meds dont help anymore by then#AND ppl kept coming and finding me and giving me samples and verbal instructions for things and i couldnt write down bc i was busy#so ive probably forgotten smth important its fine its fine its just work#and tomorrow morning my meds will smooth everything out i can organise it then. but just made me feel so mentally congested#and ive had no signal again so couldnt even open tumblr to complain abt it#cold shower and then im gonna make stir fry so i have leftovers for lunch tmr to fuel me for the gym. and ill get my gym stuff ready#and i need to get my shit together bc im calling a friend tonight and i am NOT going to fall apart in front of them 👍#its all good its okay ill make everything work out#okay. showertime#.diaries
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spacebell · 11 months ago
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ok my anxiety has decreased since early morning
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gibbearish · 1 year ago
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hm one thing im not happy with on the original post is i said the staff hate campaign has been going on longer than the transandrophobia debate and then immediately talk abt matt maybe being the source, but i don't actually know how long he's been CEO, nor do i have the best sense of time regarding how long the transandrophobia thing has been going on, i was just going off of the fact that it just. feels like that's the order of events as i remember them. but also i mean i guess that is. actually just how remembering things works now that i think about it? i may be overthinking this
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smileysuh · 15 days ago
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bottle service
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🌙 starring. Choi Seungcheol x afab!Reader
🔮 preview. “Saying that… I was thinking… maybe tonight…” You can feel your skin heating in embarrassment, you’ve never had to ask a man for sex before, but it makes sense that with this man, this wonderful person who is leaving the ball in your court for all things decision-making, you have to be the one to speak up. “I was thinking maybe tonight we could go that one step further, if you want.” 
tw/cw. Unprotected sex, body/breast worship, foreplay, pussy eating/oral, massaging, blindfold/sensory deprivation, multiple reader orgasms, praise, dirty talk, mention if toys/reader having a dry spell, Cheol’s got a big thick cock, masturbation, mention of proper aftercare, etc… I pet names: (hers) Doll.  
👹 rating. 18+ explicit I wc. 11.2k
🍭 aus.  Slice of life au, bottle service girl! y/n, bouncer!Cheol, friends/coworkers to lovers. 
☀️ mlist + an. As someone in the service industry, I kind of like doing this sort of au- I hope I was able to bring a bit of personal/lived experience to this fic :) 
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Prologue:
It’s been a long shift, and you feel on top of the world as you finally head to the back of the club to do your tip-out. Your fanny pack is full of cash, and you’re already considering different places that would be open at this time of night where you can go and grab a quick post-shift meal. You’re hoping Wonwoo is up for something, as you’ve begun to enjoy yourself more and more when you hang out with the bartender.
You wouldn’t say he’s your boyfriend, not yet, but there’s a potential with him that makes you excited to come to work on nights when you’re both scheduled.
You’ve been in the business long enough to know that relationships with coworkers in the service industry can get… well, messy, but you’re hoping that the hot, quiet bartender will be worth your time.
There’s a late-night ramen place by your apartment, and as you push through the door to the back of house, you think Wonwoo might like a bowl of noodles now that your shifts are over.
You’re walking down the hallway, tired, head in the clouds- you’re hardly thinking as you make your way to the staff room- and then, you stop dead in your tracks.
Your brain hardly registers the sight in front of you, and before you can so much as take a breath, Wonwoo is pulling away from the coworker he was just kissing.
The two stare at you, and the girl has more of a conscience than him, immediately starting to explain herself. “Doll,” she says, using the name you give clients at work, “it’s not how it looks-”
Wonwoo, in contrast, stays dead silent, staring at you without a hint of emotion in his sleepy eyes.
Your heart is thumping in your chest, and you take a deep breath. “I’m going to cashout somewhere else,” you whisper, turning to leave the staff room.
You can deal with this later- right now, you just want to finish up and clock out.
It feels like the room is spinning as you head to the lockers, where a small table provides staff space to eat. You take out your cash slip, quickly slotting in your numbers from the night.
“Are you mad?” Wonwoo’s voice behind you makes you jump, heart leaping again.
“What?”
“Are you mad I was kissing someone else?” he clarifies.
You can’t help the scoff that escapes you. “Is that really a question?”
“We’re not official,” he states.
“You’re right, we’re not.” You sigh deeply, reaching into your fanny pack to pull out cash. “Here’s your tipout.”
You shove the money against his chest, and Wonwoo looks down at it, then up at you. “Are we good?”
“We’re not good,” you tell him firmly.
“Listen,” Wonwoo lets out a breath as you head to the lockers to gather your things. “It’s not that I don’t like you, it’s just, bottle girls are bottle girls, and… things take forever with you.”
“What?” You turn to face him.
“You know, flirting for months, finally taking you out, getting you in bed…” he slowly breaks off.
“Is this about the fact that I can’t cum easily? Are you serious?” You can feel your voice beginning to raise, and you do your best to calm down, this is not the place to be discussing your sex life.
“You’re just… I thought you’d be more fun, you know? Like the other bottle girls I’ve been with.”
“And I thought you’d be less of a fucking asshole,” you tell him, grabbing your jacket.
Wonwoo is staring at you with a stunned expression, and you leave him like that, hurrying back the way you came. It’s end of the night at the club, patrons have gone, bartenders are closing up, bouncers are putting away chairs.
You stop at the bar to tip out a few more people, and as you’re heading to the door, you notice Seungcheol approaching. He’s a dark haired, beefy bouncer, and you’re friendly with him, although he’s generally quite serious when he’s at work.
“You heading home?” Seungcheol asks.
“Yup.”
“Is Wonwoo going with you?”
“Nope.”
Seungcheol’s steps falter before he follows you out the front door of the club. “I’ll walk you to your car,” he tells you.
“I’m good.”
“Shit can be dangerous after the club closes,” Seungcheol muses. “You girls carry a lot of cash in those fanny packs of yours, and scumbags know it.”
You sigh, not having the energy to fight the bouncer on this. Things are quiet as he takes you to your car, and you’re kind of glad he doesn’t push you for any details. You know you’re exuding negative energy, a stark contrast to the way you’d been when you’d settled up to head to the back of house just a few minutes ago.
Seungcheol can read people, it’s one of the reasons he’s such a good bouncer, but he respects you enough not to pry, and you appreciate that.
He watches you get into your car, nodding to himself. “Have a good night, Doll.” 
“You too, big guy,” you sigh.
Seungcheol closes your door gently for you, and as soon as he’s stepped away, you pull out of the staff parking lot. A few blocks away, you park, taking a deep breath and allowing your emotions to wash over you.
You feel stupid that you’d trusted Wonwoo, stupid that you’d thought maybe things would go somewhere with him.
From now on, you’re going to just focus on work. 
The service industry is no place to find a partner. 
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One:
It’s been a year since you caught Wonwoo kissing someone else, and since then, you’ve really focused on your job. Wonwoo is no longer a bartender at your club, and the girl he’d made out with had left shortly after the altercation.
While the club still holds some negative feelings for you, you’ve been doing your best to push through. Money has been good, and with a fresh focus on service, you’ve become the top bottle service girl. VIP’s come just for you, and you’re used to being a little flirty to make cash.
Jeonghan and Joshua are businessmen who come in frequently, and they always ask to sit in your section. 
They’re a developer and real estate agent double team, although sometimes you get confused about which one does what. They’re celebrating a recent triumph, with Joshua drunkenly explaining to you how ‘the house went through escrow, no contingencies, and now we’re smooth sailing, Doll!’ 
They’ve been drinking a lot, racking up a tab, paying for other people’s alcohol- these men know how to party, and you know how to keep a smiling face with endless enthusiasm for their ability to spend money.
“Have you ever thought about getting into real estate?” Jeonghan asks you. “Businessmen love it when a pretty girl is showing them around a big house, it’s part of the dream of what they could really acquire if they buy a property.”
“Can’t say I’ve considered it,” you smile.
“You’d make a killing,” Joshua agrees, leaning forward. “I’d love to have you on my team.”
“I appreciate that,” you admit. “I’m very happy where I am right now.”
“What if,” Jeonghan grins broadly, “I give you this…” He pulls out his wallet, plucking out two hundred dollar bills before sneaking them into the band of your fanny pack, “and you tell us you’ll consider the offer.”
“I’ll consider it,” you laugh, playing into their drunkenness. Considering an offer for two hundred dollars never means you have to follow through. 
“That’s our girl,” Joshua chuckles.
“Our Doll,” Jeonghan agrees, his hand slipping down from your fanny pack to your thigh, exposed by your short black dress-
There’s a flash of movement, and suddenly, someone is gripping Jeonghan’s wrist. “No touching,” Seungcheol’s deep voice reminds the VIP.
Jeonghan is shocked for a moment, the emotion written all over his face. “Right, sorry, my bad.” He tears his hand away from the bouncer. “Sorry, Doll, I got carried away.”
“That’s alright,” you assure them, trying to save face with two of your biggest spenders. “I’ll be back with that round of drinks for you.”
As you turn to leave the table, you pull Seungcheol with you, taking him down to the bar before you’re able to have a discussion. “Cheol-”
“I’m sorry if I stepped in a little quickly,” he tells you immediately. “They’ve been eying you all night, like they do every night, and I just…”
“No, it’s fine, he shouldn’t have touched me, I’m glad you were there.”
“I hope this doesn’t affect your tip or anything,” Seungcheol sighs.
“I’ll be fine,” you assure him. “I appreciate you being there.”
He’s really stepped up in the past year. Not only is he protective of you, but he’s protective of every bottle girl. There’d been a time before him where things hadn’t felt so safe, but with Cheol in the room every night, there have been significantly less incidences of violence from when the bar had first opened, or so you’ve heard.
He’s a good man, and he hires others of a similar caliber. All the bottle girls feel safe with Seungcheol and Mingyu at the door, and that sense of safety helps you all feel more comfortable at tables, leading to bigger and better tips.
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Two:
You’re done cashing out for the night, and you meet Seungcheol at the door of the club. Mingyu takes over for him while the head bouncer walks you to your car, a system that’s made everyone feel safer in the past year.
“How was your night?” Seungcheol asks.
“It was good, after you checked Jeonghan, he felt bad, so they ended up tipping me out fifty percent of their bill.”
“That’s good,” he nods.
“If it weren’t for the tips, I don’t know what I’d do,” you laugh.
“It’s not a bad way to make a living,” the bouncer agrees.
“Did you know, Crystal, the new girl, she has a complete doctorate in psychology, but she makes more here as a bottle girl than by being a therapist?” 
“Makes sense why the mental health in this country is trash, the government needs to pay therapists more or something.”
You laugh at Seungcheol’s words. It’s true, a lot of very important jobs are becoming less desirable due to shit pay. “I’m still shocked that I can come in for a night and make most of my rent in tips,” you admit. “With Christmas coming up, people are dropping the big bucks, feeling charitable.”
“Just be careful, people are more drunk these days too.”
“True, they are more drunk,” you admit thoughtfully, “but I don’t have to be very careful when I have you walking around making sure nothing bad will happen.”
Seungcheol laughs as he opens your car door for you, helping you into your vehicle. “I’m glad I can make you feel safe,” he tells you.
“Me too, Cheol.”
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Three:
It’s New Year’s Eve and you’ve got numerous tables of big spenders. Woozi and Seokmin are regulars, with the latter of the two having somewhat of an obvious crush on you. Normally, they’re pretty respectable, with Seokmin even being known to be a huge blusher. The poor man stutters sometimes when he talks to you, and you’ve never had any trouble with them.
But tonight… well, they’ve been here for hours, and you’re realizing that tonight might be the night you have to cut someone off.
The two men order a round of shots just before midnight, and you head to talk to your manager about it.
“Vernon, may I?” you ask, coming to stand next to your newest manager.
“What’s up, Doll?” he asks, looking up from his iPad.
“My table seventy, Seokmin and Woozi. They’re regulars, usually pretty good, but they’ve ordered a lot of drinks in the past half hour or so. Seokmin in particular has been swaying for the past five minutes. They just ordered another round, and I know it’s about to be midnight on New Years, but I think we need to cut them off.”
Vernon nods, and you watch him look over toward your table. “How much have they had?”
You pull out your own iPad, showing your manager the tab that the two men have collected over the past two or so hours.
“I agree, I think we should cut Seokmin off. He’s had three or four more shots than Woozi, so I think we’ll just respectfully go talk to him.”
“I’ll follow your lead,” you sigh, hating to have to do this.
The two of you take deep breaths before walking over to the table where Seokmin and Woozi are seated.
“Hello, gentlemen,” Vernon starts, plastering on a fake smile. “I’m Vernon, I’m the manager here.” He reaches out a hand, introducing himself to the two men. “Unfortunately, based on how much the two of you have had to drink tonight, the bar has decided to cut you off.”
“What?!” Seokmin bellows, eyes going wide.
“We take our liquor license very seriously here,” Vernon says, his tone lowering to have a regretful edge. “I know you guys are regulars, and I’m sorry I have to do this, but we just have to cut you off.”
Seokmin is very pouty and after a minute, you realize Vernon’s forgetting something. You don’t want to have to remind him of policy in front of guests, but you also don’t want him to head off without finishing this interaction completely, so you step forward. “Seokmin? May I ask how you got here tonight?” You know very well that he drove his sportscar.
“The mustang,” he frowns.
Vernon picks up on your line of questioning immediately. “I’m afraid we’ll also have to ask for your keys.”
Seokmin looks like it’s the end of the world as he pulls out the keys from his suit pocket. “This is the worst,” he groans.
“I hate to be this person,” Vernon sighs again, “but we’ll also have to ask you to vacate the premises.”
“What?!” Seokmin bellows. “But midnight is in ten minutes! Can’t I just stay for ten more minutes!?”
“Seokmin,” Woozi’s voice interrupts his friends dramatics. “We know how licensing works, they’re just doing their jobs. I told you to pace yourself, and here we are. I think you should go home, make things easy on Doll and her manager.”
“We can call you a taxi,” you offer, trying to send a warm smile toward the drunken Seokmin.
“I’m being a burden,” Seokmin whines, hiding his face in his hands. “I’m sorry, Doll, I’m sorry, Woozi-”
“It’s okay,” Woozi pats his friend’s back. “I’m sure me and Doll won’t hold it against you.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it,” you promise.
“I’ll take his tab,” Woozi tells you. “He should just get home.”
“Now you’re taking my tab?! I’m a burden and you’re a great friend!” Seokmin bellows, hugging the intense man next to him.
“Get out of here,” Woozi says, and there’s a fond smile on his face as he pats his friend’s back.
“Okay, I’m sorry for the trouble,” Seokmin apologizes again.
He stands up, and you notice immediately that he’s a little wobbly. “Let me help you outside,” you offer.
“We’ll both help,” Vernon says, and the two of you each grab one of Seokmin’s arms as he wobbles toward the front door.
It’s a packed club tonight, with many choosing your location as a spot to celebrate New Year's. The bouncers are quite busy with the door, but Seungcheol comes over the moment he notices you and Vernon struggling with a very drunken Seokmin.
“Vernon!” another bottle girl, Candy, has shown up too. “I need your help!”
“Shit,” your manager cusses. “Cheol, can you handle this?”
“I want to make sure he’s okay,” you step in. As much as your patrons are a way to make big tips, you do care about your regulars, and you know Seokmin would be happier having you there instead of some scary bouncer.
“Okay, I’ll make sure your section is covered for a few minutes,” Vernon nods before hurrying away with Crystal.
“I’m sorry,” Seokmin mumbles as Seungcheol takes over his right side, helping you drag the man out of the club.
“It’s okay,” you assure him. “Just take a few breaths.” 
The three of you stop by the curb, and Seungcheol looks around. “I’ll find a cab.”
Seokmin is standing for all of one minute before he collapses to the ground, slipping right from your grasp as he pukes onto the road in front of you.
“Fuck,” you mutter. You’re not sure what he ate today, maybe nothing, but if you’d had realized his tolerance tonight of all nights would be this bad, you would have cut him off ages ago. 
You lean down, rubbing Seokmin’s back. “It’s okay,” you tell him, “let it out.”
You take care of him while Seungcheol grabs him a ride, running inside to get a bag for him incase Seokmin pukes again. Then, the two of you help the poor man into the car, with Seungcheol talking Seokmin through his address.
“Thank you for taking care of me,” Seokmin moans, pulling out his wallet. “Here.” He shoves a few hundred dollar bills at you and Seungcheol.
“Just get home safe,” you tell him, accepting the money.
Seokmin can only groan, rolling his window up as the cab pulls away from the curb.
You release a deep sigh, turning to Seungcheol. “Here,” you give him half the money, but Seungcheol holds up a hand.
“That’s yours, Doll,” he sighs. “I didn’t do much.”
You open your mouth to argue, and that’s when there’s a loud boom. You look up to see fireworks, and you realize, you’re next to Seungcheol, and the clock has just struck twelve on New Years Eve.
Your eyes shift to the bouncer, realizing how close you’re standing.
He looks so pretty tonight, all big and steady- the fireworks reflecting off his dark eyes.
You swallow the lump in your throat, wrapping your arms around yourself to counter the cold of the evening. 
There’s a connection between the two of you, and you’ve felt it for a few months, but now, in this exact situation, you know that every fiber of your being wants this man to kiss you.
“We should uh…” you notice Seungcheol’s gaze dip to your lips, his voice faltering, “we should head inside, you look cold.”
“Right, yeah.” You have to give your head a shake to focus again. “Thanks for the help.”
“Don’t mention it.” 
The two of you go back into the club and as you begin to serve the VIP tables again, you realize that despite the head shake, you can’t get Seungcheol out of your mind. 
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Four:
“How’d your night go?” Seungcheol asks a few days later as he walks you to your car after a shift.
“Went alright,” you sigh. “Lots of people are doing the whole ‘Dry January’ thing, but my VIPs are pretty consistent with tips and orders.” 
“That’s good,” Seungcheol nods.
“Did you hear about the staff Christmas party in a few days?” you ask.
“Uh huh.”
“Are you going?”
“I’ll be there. You?”
“I’m going.”
The two of you reach your car and you turn to look at Seungcheol. 
The moment on New Years is fresh on your mind, in fact, it’s been practically all you’ve been thinking about these past few days.
There’s a new tension between the two of you, and you know from the way Seungcheol shifts his weight from one foot to the other, that you’re not the only one feeling it.
“Thanks for making sure I got to my car safe.”
Seungcheol only nods, and again, you catch him staring at your lips.
Is he going to do it? Is he finally going to kiss you?
“Have a good night,” Seungcheol says gruffly, stepping back.
“Thanks, you too,” you sigh, heart sinking in your chest.
He stays standing there until you’re in your car, and with one final nod farewell, you begin to drive home, the anticipation of a kiss dying in your chest. 
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Five:
Staff Christmas parties can be hard in the service industry. With everyone booking their own parties and events at your place of work during the end of December, the only time to have them is early January, and then there’s the choice of doing a brunch before you open, or doing a late night thing after close.
A vote had been taken, and with many of you being night owls, you’d agreed to close an hour early on a Wednesday, so here you are, at 1 am, the first week of January, finally having your staff Christmas party.
Drinks are flowing, people are giggling, and overall, you’re enjoying yourself.
You’re not very close with many coworkers, especially after what had happened last year with Wonwoo. In fact, as you float around the room, holding your cocktail, you begin to realize that the person you might be the most connected to is - in fact - Seungcheol. 
But there’s still a tension between you, one that makes you nervous to approach the head bouncer as he chills in a booth with a few other beefy security men.
You bide your time, casting a glance his way every now and then. You don’t want to approach Seungcheol when he’s surrounded by others, but as his table widdles down to just him and Mingyu, you take a breath.
Mingyu is known as the softest bouncer, he’s tall, charming, and a hundred percent puppy dog. His eyes light up as you approach, and Mingyu moves over to provide room from you in the booth. “Hi, Doll!” Mingyu beams. 
“Hey, Mingyu,” you smile, taking a seat. “How are you two doing?”
“Open bar,” Mingyu responds, holding up his beer. You love how simple things are for this man, if there are cute girl and drinks, he’s happy- so, seeing as he’s a bouncer at a club, you’ve never seen Mingyu in a foul mood.
“What are you drinking, Cheol?” you ask, turning your attention to the person you really want to spend time with. “Vodka cran?”
“Cran soda,” Mingyu corrects. “Big guy isn’t a huge drinker.”
“Really?” you ask, brows raising. “I’m shocked.”
Cheol simply shrugs. “I make it a rule not to drink at work.”
“We’re off the clock,” you remind him with a grin. “Are you sure you don’t want to let loose a little? You seem tense.”
“I’m just not a huge party guy,” Seungcheol sighs, leaning back and resting his palm on the table. You’re struck by his large hands, how pretty they look- 
“Speaking of partying,” Mingyu interjects, “I think they’re going to start karaoke soon, I’ve gotta go put my name down.”
You laugh, getting out of the booth to allow Mingyu to scurry away before taking your seat again. “Are you a karaoke fan?”
“Not really,” Seungcheol responds. “You?”
“I can be,” you say thoughtfully. “It depends.”
“You don’t look like you’re having a lot of fun tonight,” Seungcheol notes.
“Wow, big guy, have you been watching me?” you laugh.
“Old habits die hard,” Seungcheol says under his breath. 
You cock your head to the side. “What do you mean by that?”
The large bouncer shrugs. “I guess, you’re our top bottle girl, you deal with regulars and VIPs who get a little more… I don’t know, bold, than others who are here. I always have my eye on you.”
You can feel your skin heat, a mix of embarrassment and pride. 
“Anyways,” Seungcheol swallows thickly and it’s clear he wants to shift the topic. “I’m also not drinking because I have to drive home soon.”
“You’re not staying for karaoke?”
“It’s not my scene.”
“Ah, I see.” Your heart sinks a little, you’d hoped to spend more time with him tonight.
“Do you need a ride?” he asks. 
“I was probably going to get a cab,” you admit.
“Listen, I think we both spend too much time in this club surrounded by people partying. I don’t know about you, but I’m more of a stay at home and have a quiet night in kind of guy. How would you feel about getting out of here, going to mine and actually relaxing now that we’ve shown our faces here and done our due diligence?”
“I would love that,” you tell him.
Seungcheol nods. “Let’s finish our drinks then.”
“I’ll drink to that,” you giggle, lifting your glass to gently clink against his own.
It’s crazy how you can be in a club full of coworkers and alcohol, music pumping through speakers and Crystal starting a horrible cover of ‘Defying Gravity’ on karaoke, but still, staring at Seungcheol in your booth, it feels like it’s just the two of you. 
You’re a little eager with your cocktail, and soon, the two of you are bringing your glasses over to the bar, grabbing your things, and heading out the door.
Seungcheol leads you to the staff parking lot, where he opens the passenger door to a massive black truck. “I’ll help you in,” he says, holding out a hand, “it’s a bit of a high step.”
You’re in cute heels, and you definitely need Seungcheol for stability as you climb into the large vehicle.
He shuts the door gently behind you before walking around the front of the truck to enter his own side.
“You cold?” he asks, putting the keys in the ignition so the truck can roar to life.
“Just a little, I’ll be fine,” you assure him.
The bouncer reaches forward, flicking a button. “I’m going to heat your seat for you.”
You can tell from his tone that he won’t take no for an answer. He wants to take care of you, wants to make sure you’re warm and comfortable. 
You admire the truck while the two of you begin to drive to his apartment, and you marvel at the view. Being so much higher than in your own car, it feels very different driving around.
“Are you sure you want to come to mine? I can take you back to yours and drop you off if you’d prefer,” Seungcheol offers.
“No, I want to spend some more time with you,” you admit, taking a leap and being vulnerable. 
You see Seungcheol crack a smile, but he doesn’t say anything, and the two of you just grin the whole way to his place. You look at the large building as he pulls into the underground, marveling at the modern location.
“Nice building,” you muse.
“It does the job,” Seungcheol says humbly as he parks. “Let me help you out of the truck.”
You wait patiently for him to come around to your side, opening the door and offering you his hand. You gently take his palm, allowing him to help you down. You love the princess treatment, and you think you could get used to this as the two of you head to the elevator.
The elevator ride up to his floor is quite, a giddiness exploding through your stomach. You’re excited about this, about what the night might have to offer you.
“So this is home,” Seungcheol says as he holds open his door for you, allowing you to step into his apartment first.
You can’t help the shock that floods over you at the entryway alone. The design choices are giving modern man, a man who is put together, a man with money, and this hadn’t necessarily been what you were expecting from Seungcheol.
“Wow, this place is nice,” you tell him, slipping off your high heels. “I didn’t know bouncers made this kind of money.”
Seungcheol laughs at your forward statement. “They don’t.” He puts his keys in the entryway decorative bowl. “I haven’t always been a bouncer, you know.”
“No? You didn’t come swinging right out of the womb?” you tease.
He releases another chuckle. “I uh, actually come from money. I own a few properties, make passive income off tenants and stuff. My dad actually owns the club we work at. I used to be a regular there when it first opened, and I saw how tough some of the bottle girls had it, dealing with VIPs and shit. Call it a quarter life crisis or something, but I figured I have enough money, enough assets, to do something that actually makes a difference, even in some small way… running businesses was always my dad’s thing anyway, not mine.” 
You stare at him in shock for a few moments, then you swallow thickly to find your voice. “I mean… I always thought Choi was just a common last name, I would have never guessed you were the owners son- I never expected this kind of origin story from you.”
“No? I don’t scream spoiled rich boy to you?” Seungcheol teases.
“I guess your truck probably should have tipped me off,” you admit with a giggle. “Look at you, closeted rich boy who comes to work in jeans and hoodies every day.”
“I like to be comfortable,” Seungcheol muses, leading you into his apartment. “My home is your home, take a seat, and I’ll grab us some drinks.”
You nod gratefully, making your way to the plush sectional couch in his livingroom. It’s an open floor plan, and you turn to watch him in the kitchen. The underlights littered around the cupboards provide just the right ambiance, and you take the time to appreciate the broadness of Seungcheol’s shoulders as he opens his fridge.
“What are you feeling?” he asks. “Beer or wine?”
“Wine sounds good,” you grin. “Although, I never took you as a wine drinker.”
“There’s a lot you don’t know about me,” Seungcheol responds, pulling a bottle of white wine from the fridge. He retrieves two glasses and a corkscrew before coming to join you on the couch. He sets the glasses on the glass coffee table, and then you watch him expertly open the bottle, taking his time.
“You might be better at my job than I am,” you muse, smiling at the man who’s so focused on the wine in his hands.
“I’ve just got practice,” he retorts with a grin. Seungcheol pores you both a drink. “Cheers,” he says, and you clink your glasses. 
You take a sip, and Seugcheol watches you intently. “So, you know a little about my past,” he muses. “How about you? How’d you end up doing bottle service?”
You release a deep breath, leaning back against his couch. “That’s a good question.” You adjust a little, tucking your knees up so you can sit sideways, one arm draped over the back of the couch. “You know how I told you Crystal had a doctorate in psychology?”
“Mhmm,” he hums, sipping his wine.
“Well, I was in psychology too. Took the job to supplement my schooling, realized I was making a lot of money from tips. Crystal confirmed the salary difference and I guess I figured I’d put more energy into the club. I graduated a couple of months ago, I’m still considering going back for further schooling, but for now, I think I’m just trying to figure out what I want my life direction to be.”
“I guess having that background makes you better at bottle service,” Seungcheol points out. “You’re really good with clients, especially Seokmin on New Years eve.”
“People just want to be seen and heard,” you sigh. “In a drunk state, a lot of people can be guided with soft tones. You’re at the club to help us girls be safe, I guess I’m at the club to make people feel a little better about interacting with others… sure, there’s money involved too, but that’s capitalism for you.”
“Yeah, capitalism,” Seungcheol releases a sigh, and then a chuckle. “I definitely didn’t think our conversation tonight would steer towards politics and ideologies, but here we are.”
“Where did you think our conversation tonight would lead us?” you ask, cocking your head to the side with interest.
“I guess I just figured maybe I’d invite you back here, open a bottle of wine-”
“So the bottle of wine is for me, you don’t just keep chardonnay in your fridge!”
“Caught me,” Seungcheol laughs. 
“What else were you thinking of doing to me once I came here?” you ask, leaning forward with a mischievous arch of your brow.
The bouncer laughs even harder, throwing his head back, but the chuckle turns into a deep sigh, and he meets your eyes again. “Slow down there, Doll, I’m a gentleman.”
“Sure you are,” you tease.
“Why psychology?”
“Hmm?”
“Psychology, you said you took it in school, what pushed you in that direction?”
It’s definitely a topic switcheroo, and you sit back in your seat to think about it for a few moments. “I guess… I just like people. I’m interested in them, and why they are the way that they are.”
“Do you find that working in the service industry gives you a good test group of people to watch?”
You laugh. “That sounds way too scientific for me. I think I’m just a people person.”
“But we both got bored at the party.”
“We just finished shifts. I can’t be surrounded by noise and problems and gossip all day every day,” you point out. “Besides, I wanted to get to know you better, and the club isn’t the best place for that. I think I’ve learned a lot more about you just by seeing where you live than anything else I’ve discovered this past year.”
“Do you like what you’ve learned?”
You smile, nodding. “Yeah.”
You chat for a while, then Seungcheol puts on a show in the background while the two of you take turns asking all sorts of questions. You realize, as Seungcheol drapes a blanket over you, that he truly has no intention of fucking you tonight. He’d brought you back here to get to know you better, not for some ulterior motive that involved getting his dick wet.
You feel safe with him, and as you cuddle up to his side, only half paying attention to the show on the screen, you release a breath. Soon, you’re drifting off to sleep, and you know you’re in good hands. 
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Six:
You wake up slowly, then all at once, sitting up abruptly with your heart lurching. The room around you is unfamiliar, and when you turn, you notice Seungcheol passed out in bed next to you. He’s still wearing his hoodie, with the hood all the way up, his hair a tangle of dark curls.
When you adjust, he stirs, blinking groggily. “Doll?”
“Sorry, I just-” 
“Come here,” he grumbles, pulling you back down and to his chest. 
You feel like an extremely little spoon in his embrace, and your heart is racing like a sportscar still. “What happened last night?” you ask.
“You passed out on the couch, it’s more comfortable here. I thought about getting you out of your dress, but I figured that would be creepy so we’re still wearing out clothes from last night,” he sighs. “What time is it?”
“Eleven thirty,” you say, looking at the clock on his bedside table.
“Shit,” he groans.
“Do you have somewhere to be?” you laugh.
“No, I just… Usually I work out at nine am.”
“Guess it’s a skip day.”
“Guess so,” Seungcheol agrees, holding you tighter.
You can feel his breath on the back of your neck, and fuck, it feels good. 
You could get so used to this.
“Should we wake up?” he asks.
“If you want.”
“We probably should,” Seungcheol sighs deeply. “Five more minutes.”
You have no qualms with five more minutes of cuddling, and when the time is up, Seungcheol haphazardly gets out of bed. He’s stumbly, his eyes still half closed, and God, does he look adorable.
“I want to take you for brunch,” Seungcheol says. “I’ve gotta shower quickly, do you want to change into some of my clothes?”
“Honestly, I don’t think I’d fit in your clothes, with your broad shoulders and stuff,” you laugh.
“At least take a jacket, closets right here,” he disappears into the walk in, returning with a bundle of clothes in his arms. “I’m gonna shower, feel free to take anything you like, I’ll be right back.”
You wait till he’s in the ensuite bathroom, the water running, before you sneak out of bed to investigate his closet.
Turns out he has more than just hoodies and jeans, and you try not to be super snoopy as you look at suits and other attire.
You find a duster jacket, and when you put it on over your dress, you like the oversized feel of it.
You go to wait on his bed, and soon, Seungcheol’s coming out of his bathroom in a new set of clothes. “Are you a brunch girl?” he asks, leading you through his apartment toward the front door.
“I can be, with the right person.”
“Now I see how you get tips, Doll, you’re a charmer.”
“Just being honest with you,” you grin.
Seungcheol chuckles, pulling on a hoodie to go with his jeans before he opens the front door for you to exit.
You’re both tired as you take the elevator down to his truck, and Seungcheol tells you he ‘knows a brunch place,’ so you leave the details in his capable hands. 
He takes you to a small Mom and Pop style restaurant, and by the way the hostess greets him, you can tell he comes here a lot. The two of you get a secluded booth in the corner of the restaurant by the window, and Seungcheol releases a deep breath as you sit down.
“I come here most days after the gym, I’m not much of a cook back home,” Seungcheol tells you. “They always let me bring a protein shake in here, and the eggs are good.”
“I’m excited to try the food then,” you admit, looking at the menu.
The waitress comes, and you notice the way she looks at Seungcheol, you suppose you can’t blame her, you look at him the same way. 
He’s cordial with her, the two of you getting drinks, and soon, you’re ordering food too. “Eggs any way, let’s do scrambled, make it four eggs, with cheese, rye toast, extra bacon and extra sausage,” Seungcheol tells her.
“Wow, only four eggs today?” The waitress cocks her brow.
“Didn’t come from the gym,” Seungcheol explains.
“You got it, boss,” the server teases.
She takes your order next, then scurries off, and Seungcheol’s gaze shifts to you. “Can I be honest with you?”
“Of course.”
“I like you, a lot.”
“I like you too, a lot,” you grin.
“How do you feel about dating coworkers?” he questions.
“I mean… we both know things didn’t end well with Wonwoo, so I’d sort of promised myself not to do that again, but… well, you’re not Wonwoo.”
“I’m definitely not,” Seungcheol agrees with a sad chuckle. “Do you mind if I ask you what happened with him? I mean… you strike me as someone a little more serious, someone looking for something more serious, I always kind of wondered why you tried with Wonwoo of all people.”
“That’s a good question,” you admit, leaning back in the booth. “Honestly, I think I liked the idea of him. I figured he was kind of quiet, which would mean he wasn’t a player, but I was wrong.”
Seungcheol nods, looking down at his hands. “You didn’t deserve that.”
“He thought that, since I do bottle service, I’d be willing to put out quickly, but, I’m not that kind of girl. I have to be comfortable with someone in order to have that sort of deep connection, you know?”
“Yeah, I’m not one for one-night stands either,” Seungcheol agrees.
“I’m glad we’re on the same page about this,” you grin gratefully. 
“Me too.” Seugcheol reaches over the table, grabbing your hand. It’s a delicate touch, but it speaks volumes. 
The two of you continue to chat, and food comes. You eat peacefully together, and brunch is ending much too quickly for your liking. The two of you get back into his truck, and Seungcheol drives you home, insisting on helping you out of his vehicle again.
You love the way he holds out his hand, helping you down onto the pavement. His free palm steadies you at the hip, and you look up at the bouncer expectantly.
He swallows thickly, his gaze shifting to your lips. “You have no idea how much I wanted to kiss you on New Years,” he admits, tone low.
“You have no idea how much I’ve wished you did.”
There’s a brief moment of eye contact, of Seungcheol being sure you’re okay with this, and then, he cups your cheek, leaning down to finally close the distance.
His lips are soft, his palm warm against your skin, and you have to stifle a moan at first contact. You shift closer, wrapping your arms around the back of his neck, pressing your chest to his own.
Seungcheol grabs the small of your back, keeping you tight to his body, the kiss deepening.
There’s a honk from nearby traffic and you jump a little, pulling away while the two of you double check your surroundings.
Your heart is racing in your chest. Once again, you’d been pulled so completely into the experience of being with Seungcheol, that you’d nearly forgotten everything else going around you. 
You’re still in a daze as you meet his gaze again, and Seungcheol slowly moves, pressing his forehead against your own in the most loving way possible. “I’ll see you soon,” he promises, gifting one last chaste kiss to your lips before pulling away.
You practically stumble away from him, overwhelmed as you use your key to get into your apartment lobby. You turn to wave goodbye to the bouncer who’s still watching you from his truck, intent on making sure you get home safe, as always.
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Seven:
“So…” Candy grins as you both count up your money after a good night, “what’s going on with you and Seungcheol?”
“Huh?” 
“I saw you two leave the Christmas party together,” she muses, pausing what she’s doing to give you her full attention. “Something definitely happened.”
“You think so?” you laugh.
“You’re both hot, so, yeah.”
It’s been five days since that night, five days of you and Seungcheol spending every day together in some capacity or another. 
“I can see you grinning,” Candy teases before leaning in, her voice lowering. “How is he in bed?”
“Candy!” you laugh, shocked at her direct question.
“What?” She acts as if it’s the most normal inquiry in the world. “You guys have to have slept together by now, no?”
“For your information…” you lower your own tone, shifting closer. “We haven’t.”
“What? But you’re in the service industry! We’re all whores here!”
You can’t help but giggle at her words. “Not all of us, babes.”
“Okay, but… soon though?”
“Maybe…”
“You’re seeing him tonight, aren’t you, Doll?” Candy’s grin widens.
“Maybe…” you singsong.
“Bet you can’t help yourself anymore, huh? Tonight’s the night?” Candy pokes your arm. “That man is so big and tree-like that you could climb him, it must be hard holding out.”
You finish up your cash out with a sigh and a shake of your head. “It’s actually been nice just getting to know him.” 
“And when you get married, I’m invited,” Candy declares.
“Sure you are, goodnight, Candy.”
“Only one of us is having a good night, you fucking tree climber.” 
You’re still laughing as you get back into the main club area. Seungcheol is waiting for you by the doors, and together you walk to his car.
“Do you want me to take you back to yours tonight?” he asks.
“Hmm?”
“I mean…” he rubs the back of his neck as he holds open the passenger door for you. “I don’t want to be presumptuous-”
“Well I like to be presumptuous,” you tease, pressing a kiss to his cheek, “which is why I packed an overnight bag for your place.”
Seungcheol grins. “I love a woman who knows what she wants.”
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Eight:
You feel like you’ve had a crash course in all things Seungcheol in the past five days, even so, you want to know more, so, you’ve resorted to finding cheesy lists of questions online to ask him.
He’s adorable when you suggest it, pouring you both a small glass of wine before joining you on the couch.
The two of you take turns asking questions, finding inquiries that you hadn’t thought to ask before.
“What was the first thing you noticed about me,” you grin, putting your phone down.
“Your work ethic,” Seungcheol answers. “Your smile, your… infectious personality.”
“Infectious? Okay, mister resting grumpy face,” you tease.
“I’m a bouncer, it’s part of the job,” he muses, reaching for your phone to find a question of his own. “What was your favourite part of our first date?”
“I mean, if you count coming back here after the Christmas party as our first date, it was the fact that I fell asleep so easily next to you. You just relax me, I even woke up in your bed fully clothed after which was nice-”
“Common decency,” Seungcheol interjects with a sigh.
“Still,” you insist. “If we’re talking about the brunch the next morning as our first date, I think I just sort of liked how natural it felt, as if we’d done it a thousand times. There wasn’t any food anxiety-”
“Food anxiety?”
“You know, worrying about getting food on my face or in my teeth, or you judging me on what I ordered- you just, accept me, and I knew it from the start.”
“That’s cute,” Seungcheol grins, passing you your phone back. 
You skim the screen for a few seconds. “Have you told your friends about me?”
“Yeah, my friends outside of work know about you.”
“They do?” you smile, heart softening.
“They’ve known about you for a while.”
“Been crushing on your coworker for how long, Cheol?” you tease.
“Like I said… a while.”
You’re satisfied with your answer, so you pass him your phone.
“I found a question,” he says after a moment, “but if it’s not something you want to dive into, we can skip it.”
“Just go for it.”
“So… we’ve talked a bit about this before, for example, I know you’re not a one-night stand person, but other than that, why didn’t things work out with Wonwoo, or, your ex?” he asks, adjusting the question on your list ever so slightly. 
“Oof.” You let out a deep breath, taking a sip of your wine.
“Like I said, we can skip it,” Seungcheol assures you.
“No, just give me some time,” you tell him, trying to center yourself. “You want the real answer? The TMI answer?”
“Always.” 
“I told you I’m not into one night stands, I told you I need a deeper connection with people- at the root of it, I can’t uh… I can’t cum unless I feel safe with someone.”
Seungcheol is quiet for a moment. “So safety, and probably a lot of foreplay.”
“Exactly.”
“And most men haven’t given you that in the past?” he enquires.
“Unfortunately, no.”
“Then they didn’t deserve you.”
“And… how would you be different?” you ask, heart beginning to thump faster in your chest.
“Well, I’d take my time with you, for one,” Seungcheol responds, putting your phone down and shifting so he can face you. “I’d find out what you like, what you don’t like… I’d reassure you verbally, I wouldn’t pressure you, and I’d give you space to be yourself.”
“You’re already doing all of those things, which I appreciate,” you admit. “I like how slow we’ve been going.”
“Yeah, me too.” He licks his lips, and your eyes are drawn to the motion.
“Saying that… I was thinking… maybe tonight…” You can feel your skin heating in embarrassment, you’ve never had to ask a man for sex before, but it makes sense that with this man, this wonderful person who is leaving the ball in your court for all things decision-making, you have to be the one to speak up. “I was thinking maybe tonight we could go that one step further, if you want.” 
“Are you sure you’re up for that?” Seungcheol asks, cocking his head to the side to assess you.
“Yes.” You nod, forcing yourself to exude assertiveness. “I feel safe with you, and I’m ready to break my dry spell.”
“Dry spell, huh?” The bouncer grins. “I’ll make the wait worth it.”
“You promise?” you ask, moving closer to him.
“I promise.” His strong hands pull you into his lap and you straddle his waist on the couch, wrapping your arms around the back of his neck loosely. 
The two of you just stare at each other for a moment, and then Seungcheol leans forward, pressing a soft kiss against your lips.
You love how gentle he is with you, but tonight, you want more, and you quickly change the pace of the kiss when you lick at his lower lip, shyly asking for entry.
Seungcheol releases a groan, opening up to you, and you return the sound with a whimper of your own, shifting in his lap. Your chests are pressed together now, and Seungcheol’s hands move from your hips to the small of your back, massaging your body gently as you kiss.
He feels so good, and your mind goes blank as the two of you enjoy each other.
You can’t help it when you begin to move though, wiggling gently against him. You can already feel something pressing up between your legs, and it makes you more confident knowing you’ve had this sort of affect on him.
You’re both breathing heavily when Seungcheol moves his mouth to your neck, searching until he finds your sweet spot. You let out a loud moan, tilting your head back, grabbing at his shoulders tightly. He licks at your skin, gently circling the spot that has your entire body reacting.
Seungcheol releases a deep groan, his hands moving to grip your ass, and then he stands up suddenly,  making you clutch onto him in shock. 
“Moving to the bedroom,” he tells you, carrying you the short distance. 
Seungcheol sets you gently onto his bed, looking down at you. He lets out a breath, running a hand through his unruly curls. 
“What are you thinking?” you ask.
“I was thinking maybe you’d be into a blindfold.”
“Hmm?”
“I’ve heard that some girls who have anxiety in bed relax more when there’s no need for eye contact, when they can just focus on what’s feeling good.”
“Do you have a blindfold?”
“I have a sleeping mask,” Seungcheol responds, reaching into his bedside table to retrieve one. “Are you up for it?”
“We could give it a try,” you tell him, heart leaping in your chest.
“I think this needs to come off first though,” Seungcheol muses, pulling at your hoodie.
“Do what you need to do,” you say, giving him permission to take care of you in the way he sees fit.
Seungcheol joins you on the bed, and he prompts you to sit up. His hands slip under your hoodie, gently lifting it, but leaving your shirt on beneath.
He kisses you then, taking his time with you, his hands exploring your body. For the first time, his large palm grazes your breast, and you whimper against his lips, arching your back, a nonverbal communication that you want him to continue.
Seungcheol’s mouth moves to your throat again, zoning in on your sweet spot. He begins to slowly slide your shirt up, and soon, he’s discarding that too. All that’s left on your upper half is your bra, and Seungcheol grips your breasts through the padding. His lips kiss the swell of your chest, his hair teasing your jaw even as you throw your head back, breathing heavily.
“Can I take this off too?” he asks, voice low, lust-filled.
“Please.” 
His fingers expertly unclasp your bra and he gently takes it off of you, tossing it onto your ever-growing pile of clothes next to the bed. 
Seungcheol lays you down softly, pressing his lips against your own. He kisses you deeply and you wrap your arms around him, teasing your fingers along his strong shoulders. You tug at the fabric of his shirt and you can feel him smirk against your lips.
He sits up, reaching behind himself to grab the nape of the neck of the fabric, and then he tugs it off, revealing a chiseled body of muscle. But he’s not lean-muscled, he’s clearly got some beef to him too, and it makes Seungcheol all the more attractive. 
His own eyes take in your bare torso, and then he reaches for your breast, softly cupping it. His thumb strokes past your nipple and you groan, writhing against his bed sheets. 
Seungcheol leans down, kissing your throat. He takes his time as he begins to descend, and your heart is thundering with anticipation by the time he makes it to your nipple. He licks it gently, circling the pebbled bud.
You groan loudly, threading your fingers in his hair.
He grins as he continues sucking on your nipple, his free hand moving up to cup the neglected breast. You love how he’s taking his time with you, and you can feel yourself getting wetter by the second.
“Can I take your sweatpants off?” he asks.
“Yes, please.” You lift your hips to make things easier for Seungcheol, and soon, your pants are discarded, leaving you only in your panties. 
“I think it’s time for the blindfold if you want,” he suggests, sitting up and reaching for it.
He passes the silky fabric to you, and you take a breath. “Let’s do it.”
“If you want to take it off for any reason, just take it off, okay?” He’s looking at you very seriously, and you know in your heart that he values your own comfort more than anything else.
“Okay.” 
You slowly slip the blindfold on before relaxing back against the bed and releasing another deep breath.
Seungcheol grabs your calf gently, massaging it. His hand is warm and big, working it’s way up to your knee, then you’re thigh.
He shifts on the bed, and a moment later you feel breath against your clothed core.
You grip the bed sheets in anticipation.
Seungcheol presses a kiss to your panty-covered clit and your toes curl involuntarily. You half expect him to continue to focus on your pussy, but his lips quickly move to your inner thigh. 
One of his hands is still massaging your thigh, and everything feels heightened with the blindfold on. You’re entirely focused on Seungcheol and his gentle movements, your skin electrified with sensitivity. 
“You’re so pretty,” he murmurs, pressing a kiss to your inner knee. 
You can only moan in response, mind pleasantly blank except for the slow build of pleasure that the bouncer is providing for you.
His breath ghosts past your core again and you shiver, clutching harder at the sheets. 
“You look a little impatient too,” Seungcheol muses, and you can imagine his grin as he looks up at you.
“I am,” you admit, “impatient.”
“You’re being good for me so far,” he points out. “Maybe… I should finally reward you.”
“Please,” you practically beg. 
“Gonna take these off of you now,” Seungcheol says, curling his fingers in the waistband of your panties.
You lift your hips again, and just like that, you’re completely bare for him.
It kind of helps that your own eyes are covered, that you’re not anxiously gaging his reaction to you-
“Still so pretty,” Seungcheol groans, and that’s all the confirmation of attraction that you need. Your pussy throbs at his words, and your skin tingles as he massages your thighs again. “Can you spread these for me, Doll?” 
You’re quick to follow through with his request, his large palms helping to spread you open for him. 
“Something tells me no one’s eaten you out properly in a very long time,” he muses.
“Try never.”
“You’ve never been eaten out?”
“I have, just… not properly.”
“Men these days,” Seungcheol sighs, and you giggle at his defeated tone. 
Your laugh quickly turns into a whimper when Seungcheol licks a stripe of your pussy. He starts at the bottom, and makes his way to the top, circling your clit gently. 
“Shit,” you groan, reaching down for him with one hand, trying to grab at his hair.
“Do you like it rough, or gentle?” he asks, guiding you by your wrist so you can take hold of his head.
“A bit of both- surprise me,” you breathe.
“You got it, Doll.”
His attention quickly returns to your core, where he begins to suck and lick. Every time you start to feel close from him playing with your clit, his tongue slips down to press into your hole. It’s a push-pull of pleasure, a teasing control of your body.
Your stomach muscles begin to clench, and you start to feel desperate. 
“Seungcheol,” you whine, “I want to cum.”
“Yeah?” He’s panting against your pussy now and it feels so fucking good. 
“Please?”
“I thought you said it’s hard to make you cum, I figured I’d be down here for a while.”
You pause, realizing that this might be the fastest you’ve ever come to an orgasm with a man. 
“I-” You can’t find words, and you swallow thickly. 
“I don’t think you have a problem cumming,” Seungcheol muses, stroking your thigh. “I think no man has put an effort into foreplay or eating you out, which is a shame.”
“You really… you don’t think anything is wrong with me?”
“There was never anything wrong with you, Doll, you should know by now that most things in this world are a man’s own fault, they just push it onto the women who are around them because they lack the emotional maturity to take accountability for their own failings.”
You let out a sad chuckle, shocked at the words that have just come out of his mouth. “You’re deeper than I ever imagined you would be, Cheol.”
“Baby, you have no clue how deep I can be, but you’re about to find out… you can cum, by the way, you don’t need my permission.”
Your heart skips a beat as his mouth returns to your pussy, and this time, he doesn’t tease around, it’s clear to him that your clit is ready to be properly stimulated, and you get the sense that Seungcheol would never deny you anything, least of all an orgasm. 
He’s being rougher with your clit now, but he’s built you up to the point where you can take it. Your thighs are beginning to shake, your muscles tensing in preparation for the high that you know you’re about to hit. 
You can’t help the moans slipping out of you, and there’s something so erotic about being blindfolded still- you can fully enjoy yourself, fully enjoy the masterful way Seungcheol’s mouth is working your most sensitive spot-
He sucks harshly and that’s all you need to cum, your orgasm exploding through you like fireworks. Your grip intensifies on his hair, keeping his face buried between your thighs while your entire body begins to shake with pleasure. It’s all-consuming, all-encompassing- and without a doubt, the best orgasm you’ve ever had with a man. Sure- your vibrators have been pretty amazing in the past, but fuck, there’s something about Seungcheol, something about someone else doing this to you- it gives you goosebumps as the waves of pleasure surge through you.
You’re gasping by the time you let up on his hair, and Seungcheol finally pulls away from your shaking body.
You can feel his eyes taking you in, and you slip the blindfold off, blinking up at him.
“How are you feeling?” he asks, pushing a piece of hair out of your face.
“So good,” you whimper, still trying to catch your breath.
“Do you want to stop now, or…”
Your gaze shifts down to the tent in his sweatpants- you can’t believe he’s willingly volunteering for blue balls- completely okay with having pleasured you and not getting a release for himself.
“No, I want to go all the way, clearly,” you retort. “Take your sweatpants off.”
“Yes, ma’am,” he teases, getting off the bed so he can push the black fabric down. His hard cock slaps up against his lower abdomen, and you can feel yourself practically drooling. “So… condoms?”
“I’m clean, and I’m on birth control.”
“I’m clean too, but if you don’t take my word for it, I’ve got protection-”
“Cheol,” you laugh, cutting him off, “I trust you.” 
“I trust you too,” he says, getting back onto the bed with you.
He slips between your legs, his lips meeting yours desperately. Your thighs wrap around his hips, pulling him close until his cock is dragging against your pussy with each movement.
Your hands grab at his shoulders, chests pressed together now- it’s as if you’re breathing each other in. Nothing feels awkward or forced, and it definitely doesn’t feel like your first time with him. He knows you, knows what you like, what pace suits you best-
God, you’re at a very real risk of falling head over heels for this man, but you decide that’s something to worry about later.
“Cheol,” you whimper against his lips, and that’s all you need to say to him as a cue, he reaches between your bodies, grabs the base of his cock, and guides the tip to your wet hole.
“If it hurts-” he begins to say, but you draw him closer with your legs wrapped around his hips, forcing an inch of his length inside of your aching hole before he can finish his sentence. “Shit-” He cusses, breathing heavily.
He dips his head, eyes glued to the spot where he’s sinking inside of you.
An actual, honest-to-God, non-man-made material cock hasn’t been inside of you in ages, and it feels so good to have something real dragging against your sensitive inner walls. You moan immediately, throwing your head back and shutting your eyes.
Seungcheol takes the opportunity to kiss your sweet spot, teasing you as he sheaths himself all the way to the hilt. You both gasp, your nails digging into his shoulders.
“You good?” he pants.
“So good,” you retort with another loud moan.
Seungcheol begins to move, slowly at first, allowing you to fully adjust to the size of his cock. You can feel your body relaxing, and as it gets less tense, Seungcheol’s pace begins to increase. 
His lips move from your throat to your own mouth again, and the two of you kiss desperately as he fucks you.
Nothing has ever felt this right. 
“Fuck, I’m close already,” Seungcheol muses.
“Then cum?”
“No, I want to enjoy this more,” he argues. “Here, can we switch positions?”
“Yeah, how do you want me?”
“Mmm… Maybe doggy? Is that okay?”
“Yeah.” You nod quickly, pressing one last kiss to his lips before he pulls out of you. 
You quickly roll onto your knees, arching your back and presenting yourself to him.
“Fuck, you look good in every angle, don’t you, Doll?” he groans, massaging your ass.
“I live to please,” you tease, wiggling your bum gently.
“Shit.” Seungcheol pushes his cock into you again and you both groan. “Want you to rub your clit for me. I don’t want to cum until you cum again, want you squeezing my cock and gripping the bed sheets when we both tip over the edge.”
“Yes, Cheol,” you whimper, slipping your hand between your thighs to rub your sensitive bud while Seungcheol begins to fuck you.
His pace is slow, careful- and you’d bet your wages that he’s still close to the edge, that he’s actively trying to calm down to give you time to get there too.
One of his hands continues to massage your ass, a constant reminder of his gentle and caring nature. He’s not gripping hard or slapping- just massaging, and it feels amazing.
Each thrust has him hitting a spot deep inside of you, doggy is a great position for that kind of penetration, and once again, you close your eyes to focus on the sensation.
You rub your clit harder, and the two of you groan as your pussy squeezes around his cock in response.
“Shit, you feel so good,” Seungcheol murmurs, both hands finding your hips as he begins to fuck you faster. 
“You too,” you whimper, focusing entirely on the feeling of pleasure building in your pussy. “Can you slow down for a second?”
“Yeah.” You hear him swallow thickly, his pace decreasing. “Better?”
“Yeah, I just have to- fuck, focus on my clit for a sec.”
“Take your time,” he assures you. 
You relax your body, breathing deeply as you rub your clit in hard circles. Your pussy begins to clench again and Seungcheol groans-
“Almost, almost,” you whisper- you feel yourself getting closer and closer to the edge- “okay, fuck, I’m going to cum!”
“Should I fuck you?” he asks, and you can hear the frazzled tone in his voice.
“Yeah, fuck me, shit, fuck me, please!” you cry out desperately, so close to the edge that you can taste it-
“You got it, Doll.” 
And just like that, he’s pistoning into you. The feeling of his cock filling you up is the cherry on top of your pleasure, and you release a strangled whimper- “Cumming!”
“Fuck,” Seungcheol groans behind you as your pussy clamps down hard on him, squeezing him like a vice.
His thrusts momentarily falter as your core throbs around him, and then his fingers are digging into your hips. “I’m cumming too-” he tells you, and you can feel his cum beginning to fill you up.
It feels so fucking good to be filled like this again, and you gasp as you both cum together. Your hands ball up in the fabric of his bed like an anchor, your entire body consumed by pleasure for the second time tonight.
The groans leaving Seungcheol’s lips are a whole different kind of sexy, and you focus on him as you both begin to come down from your highs.
“Fuck,” Seungcheol moans, stopping behind you, his hands smoothing up and down your back again. “You good?”
“So good,” you whimper.
“I’m going to go get you a cloth, and then we should have a shower together.”
“I’m so tired though-” you begin to argue.
“Doll, you might not be used to men taking care of you, but I want to be the person who makes you feel good, and part of that, is having a nice shower after sex, then cuddling up in bed. Do you trust me?”
“Yes, Seungcheol,” you smile, “I trust you.”  
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☀️ mlist + an. thank you for reading! we love feminist!Seungcheol in this house!
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🔮 preview. You’ve realized in the couple of months you’ve been dating Seungcheol that with the right person, cumming can happen. It’s not that it’s necessarily easy yet, but it’s not some all-consuming, anxiety-inducing hurdle to jump over with a man who isn’t supporting you at all.
cw/ tw.  Unprotected sex, body worship, blow job/oral, hand job, multiple positions, Cheol is impatient and needy when reader is giving, praise, dirty talk, teasing, masturbation,  etc…   I petnames. (hers) Doll.
👹 rating. 18+ explicit I wc. 2.3k I teaser wc. 160
🌙 starring. Seungcheol x afab!Reader
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bonus
“You look upset,” Vernon muses as you take a breather at the bar while waiting for cocktails to be made.
“Do I?” you sigh, closing your eyes to center yourself.
“Did uh… did something happen with Seungcheol?”
“What? God, no.” An awkward laugh tumbles from your lips. “Do I seriously look that upset?”
“You definitely look off,” Vernon points out.
“It’s just…” you exhale deeply, “you know, being in bottle service, getting hit on is part of my job, being a little flirty is how I make the most tips-”
“But you feel like that’s not being nice to Seungcheol,” your manager finishes for you, hitting the nail on the head.
“Exactly.” 
“I mean…” Vernon’s gaze shifts to the bouncer by the door. “He doesn’t strike me as a jealous person.”
“And he’s not,” you’re quick to assure him, “that’s not the problem.”
“So… if he doesn’t care, then… what do the kids say these days? Make that bag? Make that money to buy that bag?” 
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sungbeams · 16 days ago
Text
MIDNIGHT IN MILAN — lhs
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they say love makes you do stupid things...surely fucking your boyfriend in the bathroom at the prada after party when your relationship isn't even public and neither of you can afford a dating scandal isn't that stupid, right?
⟡ ┆ pairing. lee heeseung x fem!reader
⟡ ┆ genre and tropes. MDNI 18+ ONLY, smut, established relationship, idol AU (both heeseung and yn)
⟡ ┆ warnings. semi-public sex, unprotected sex, mirror sex, mild choking, creampie, fingering, tiniest hint of degradation (he calls her a slut like once), one singular spank, some hair pulling, not really any aftercare
⟡ ┆ word count. 6.4k
⟡ ┆ note. i know the hype around tipsy hee already died down but i simply couldn't let this go. started writing it literally the same day the pictures dropped, then got hit with a massive writers block and only recently managed to finish this. biggest thanks to @jayparked who listened to me complain about this fic and contemplate just deleting it all. this fic wouldn't be here without her :(
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"Fuck, Hee—" your broken moans echo off the dark walls around you as you throw your head back at the feeling of his dick sliding in and out of you, hitting that perfect spot that has your hips chasing after his, "feels so good. Don't stop, please don't stop."
"Not planning to, baby," Heeseung grunts out his reply, his fingers digging into your flesh as he pulls you back to meet his sharp thrusts, sending shockwaves up your spine all the way to your head, making you feel woozy at the intense pleasure overwhelming your senses.
Your gazes meet in the mirror in front of you, your arms shaking as you try to hold yourself up. One of his hands moves up your body, his fingers wrapping around your throat and applying slight pressure to it to cut off the needy whines spilling from your mouth. Your eyes roll back at the sensation, head falling forward and your body crashing into the counter beneath you, your arms too weak to hold yourself up anymore. 
"That's my good girl, so desperate for my cock, huh?" Heeseung smirks to himself, continuing to roll his hips into yours. He wants to tug on your hair, hold you in place so he can look at your fucked-out face, but he knows he needs to be careful not to wreck you too much, not to leave any marks — or at least none that leave no doubt as to what you're doing here.
Truly, the two of you should be ashamed about what you're doing, but neither of you can bring yourself to care — not in the slightest. Right now, the only thing you're concerned about is Heeseung's cock repeatedly drilling past your folds into your soaked heat, how snug your walls feel around him, hugging him, molding to his shape with each snap of his hips. Maybe come tomorrow when you wake up and you think back to this moment, you'll bury your head in your hands and wonder what drove you to make such stupid, such careless decisions. 
After all, you are currently having sex with your boyfriend in a private powder room at an afterparty you had been invited to as brand ambassadors. You should be professional. Mingling with people, maybe having a drink, getting some of your pictures taken, but no, instead you're getting your guts rearranged by a man barely anyone knows is your boyfriend.
In your defense, the past few days had been beyond stressful, and you hadn’t been able to get any alone time with Heeseung in what feels like forever. Not during the busy days ahead of your flight to Italy, not during the 14-hour plane ride from Seoul to Milan for Fashion Week, and certainly not during all the schedules you had the past two days. Moments of privacy had been sparse, reduced to rare bathroom breaks since you shared a hotel room with one of the other members of your group.
----
Stepping out of the van to attend the afterparty, you force an effortless smile onto your face, repeatedly reminding yourself that this was your last schedule of the night and then you'd get a night of sleep just to hop onto another seemingly everlasting flight back home where you’ll be greeted with at least a few days without any public appearances. So you push yourself to ignore the ache in your feet from wearing heels all day, ignoring the throbbing in your head from the lack of sleep, food, and water, which only intensifies from the flurry of flashing cameras greeting you, or the pinch in your lower back from where you assume a safety pin must've come loose.
Hours pass by in the blink of an eye, pictures being taken with either your fellow group members or other celebrities and influencers also attending the party; a drink gets pushed into your hands, and the alcohol momentarily numbs your body and washes the pain away, allowing your shoulders to relax and your breaths to deepen as you take in your surroundings. Lo and behold, a few feet away from where you are, you find him standing: Heeseung. Hands in his pockets as he's talking to some unidentifiable celebrity in front of him.
Almost as if he feels your gaze on him, he glances away from the man before him, your eyes meeting for a brief moment. You take an involuntary step forward, like he's drawing you right in, before your manager steps in your line of sight, "They want a picture of you girls with Enhypen, something about wanting the two K-Pop groups attending in one picture together."
You nod your head at her words, trying to steal one last look at your boyfriend, only to see him walking right in your direction, together with Sunoo and Jungwon trailing after him, their manager leading them right to where you're walking to.
A staff member pushes and pulls you all into position, telling you where to stand and how to pose, and by some sort of miracle you end up right next to your boyfriend. Your manager shoots you a quick look, and you teasingly roll your eyes at her as she's silently warning you to not make your relationship too obvious, seeing as your company has been pretty outspoken about not wanting the public to know about what was going on between Heeseung and you.
While the photographers look over their pictures, trying to decide if they need more or if they're satisfied with what they got, you lean slightly to your right, close enough so the man next to you would be able to hear your hushed whispers, "You know...I heard some people talking about there being private restrooms at this venue. Just thought I'd mention it in case you'd like a moment alone to take a bit of a breather from all the socializing."
"Oh? Is that so?" you can hear the slight smile in the low rumble of his voice as he leans down, masking his closeness by adjusting the leg of his pants, "Guess I'll have to check them out in a bit then."
"Alright, everyone, we'll take a few more pictures and then you can go back to the party," one of the photographers interrupts your conversation, drawing all attention back to the front. You position yourself slightly to the left again, creating more space between your boyfriend and you to avoid angering your managers.
A few more pictures taken, and you're finally released. Almost instantly, you excuse yourself from your group, beelining towards the aforementioned restrooms, making sure not to draw any attention to yourself despite your heart beating rapidly in your chest at the thought of some alone time with your boyfriend, sending blood rushing through your ears, loud enough to drown out the quick click-clacks of your heels against the tiled floor underneath you.
The anticipation is killing you as you're waiting for Heeseung to show up, staring at your phone just to see the status of your message to him with the details of exactly where you are change from 'delivered' to 'seen' right in front of your eyes. Minutes feel like hours as you tap your foot nervously against the marble floor beneath your feet, trying your best to ignore your throbbing pussy, your folds covered in your slick and clinging onto your underwear already — all just because of the mere thought of what he would do to you within these four walls.
You glance at your phone again when three rapid knocks followed by two more taps against the wooden door next to you startle you. Opening the door with a smile on your lips, you lean out slightly, your head turning left and right to scan the hallway, "Are you sure no one followed you?"
Wordlessly he nudges you back inside and closes the door behind you. His lips are on yours in an instant, moving with familiar desperation as he pushes you against the closed door. His hands are all over you, grasping onto your hips, pulling them flush against him and allowing you to feel the growing bulge in his pants press against your lower abdomen. Your heart beats erratically in your chest — the sound almost drowning out the soft clicking of the lock turning behind your back — hands scrambling to find something to hold onto as lust takes over you, clouding your mind. His lips work against yours in a beautiful frenzy, rushed but still taking his time, nipping at your lower lip, entangling his tongue with yours in a passionate dance that wordlessly tells you everything you need to know.
Your body relaxes right against his, all tension melting away with each movement, the space between you charged with tension, thick and hot, as Heeseung pulls away. 
"Don't worry, we're all alone, baby," he breathes against your lips as his mouth trails down to your neck, eagerly covering your skin in wet kisses as your hands reach up to tangle themselves in his hair. 
The tiny voice in a deep, dark corner of your mind tells you not to mess it up, not to leave a single trace for people to suspect what the two of you left the party for, to avoid any scandal at all costs. But your need to be as close as possible to your boyfriend overrides any and all logic left inside you, so you ignore it, pulling him closer to you instead and letting him graze your skin wherever he desires. Contrary to you, he seems to still have some care for the consequences of your escapades, seeing as he moves down the collar of your dress to continue the path of his lips there, sucking and softly biting the supple flesh, leaving marks easily hidden. 
With his hand pressing against the small of your back, he pulls you away from the door, and the two of you stumble over towards the massive mirror situated behind the vanity of the powder room. Your ass digs into the cold marble of the counter as he crowds you against it, fingers holding your hips in a bruising grip — enough to almost hurt, the sensation just the right mix of pain and pleasure to pull a whimpered plea from your lips — before moving lower. His hands massaging your round cheeks has you biting your lip, whining as he lifts you up, and you instinctively wrap your legs around his waist just to feel his hard cock straining against his pants and press right into where you need him the most.
"Hee...please—" you cut yourself off with a moan, louder than you had anticipated, and he quietly shushes you in response.
“Shh, baby, we don't wanna get caught now, do we?"
His lips form into a smirk against your skin as you shake your head with a slight pout on your lips. You really don’t want to get caught; you don't want to even think about what it would mean for both of you if people found out about what the two of you are up to in here, but your mind is begging, screaming at you to let it all out, let him know how good he's making you feel.
"You can be loud in the hotel; how about that, sweetheart?”
Oh, screw him. Getting you worked up over the possibilities the future holds for you before even having you now.
Your reply comes in the form of a quiet whimper, mind wandering off to all the possibilities your soundproof hotel room offers. His hands snap you out of it, interrupting your train of thought as they push underneath the bottom hem of your dress, reaching for your soiled underwear to press his fingers right against your cunt, feeling just how absolutely soaked he has gotten you.
"Fuck, baby, what's gotten you this wet, huh?"
"You, Hee—" you exhale, chest heaving up and down as he toys with your clit through the damp cotton of your panties, hips bucking up to chase his fingers, "please...please just fuck me already."
“Love when you beg for me like this. Shit," he groans, eyes closing for a brief moment in a hopeless attempt to compose himself, panting like a dog as he pulls away from you. His hands move over the buckle of his belt in a frenzied rush, fumbling slightly before he manages to undo it, opening his zipper with shaking and twitching fingers. His pants hit the floor with a thud, joined by the black briefs he had been wearing underneath, and he's back on you before you even have a chance to gawk at his cock, thick and heavy, with an angry tip, red and leaking precum already. Despite having seen it multiple times, it still never fails to take your breath away each time you get a chance to look at it. 
His lips crash against yours in an almost bruising kiss, distracting you from his fingers hooking underneath your underwear, pushing it to the side as his other hand finds the base of his cock, pumping himself a few times until he lets his head kiss your entrance. In one fluid movement he pushes himself inside you, both of you letting out synchronized moans as you feel your walls stretching around his girth. His size still surprises you, despite this not being the first time together with him, and even though your cunt is dripping — your slick arousal running down your folds just to pool underneath you — you're still having trouble taking him wholly. His throbbing length fills you up so well you swear you feel him all the way in your belly, gasping as you spread your legs wider to grant him even more access to your wet pussy.
His fingers find their way back down to your clit, no longer obstructed by your underwear, massaging it slowly to help you relax around him. And it works; your body lets go, tension melting from you as you allow him to pull back slightly and thrust back in again, slowly managing to push further and further into you until he fills you to the hilt, his hips making contact with your ass. Pressing your face against his shoulder, you try your best to muffle your moans. Your cunt molds itself around him with each clench of your walls, desperate whines tumbling past your lips as his cock pulsates deep inside of you, as you feel every ridge, every vein, every inch of him. 
"Taking me so well, baby, such a good girl for me. You ready for me to move, sweet girl?"
You nod breathlessly, almost unable to reply to his words at all, mind fuzzy with pleasure. 
And he hasn't even started properly fucking you yet. 
Heeseung presses a gentle kiss against your lips, already swollen and raw, his bruising kisses lingering on them, before he begins to move, hips thrusting into your greedy hole as you cling to him, holding on tightly as best as you can. His forehead falls against yours, labored breaths mixing together and becoming one as you pant into each other's mouths, a needy blend of curses occasionally interrupted by your names tumbling from both of your lips. Your eyes meet his, losing yourself in them as they pull you in further and further. His gaze makes you want to shy away, intense and all-consuming, while at the same time it just as well makes you want to throw your head back, moan his name for everyone in this building to hear just how good he's making you feel.
"So good—fuck, feels so good, Heeseung," you whimper, squeezing your eyes shut as you lean further into his embrace, his arms holding you upright as the control of your own body slips further from your grasp.
You feel so full of him, having him exactly how you wanted him all night, his cock brushing right against your cervix with every thrust, his hands all over your body in a desperate frenzy, his mouth latched against yours, tasting you like a starved man. The feeling of having him all over you is overpowering your every sense, hopelessly trying — and failing — to keep your moans at bay, choking back a desperate whine in the back of your throat.
Heeseung can't help but coo slightly at you, your urgency going straight to his ego, as well as his cock, twitching deep within your spongy walls as he moves your legs to wrap them around his waist tighter as he grunts and groans, "Such a dirty thing, letting me fuck you right where anyone could hear us. Shit, gonna let me use your pretty cunt, gonna walk out there with my cum dripping down your legs like the little slut you are?"
Your answer comes in a whined 'yes' as you throw your head back, eyes screwing shut, hot sparks shooting through your whole body. Your legs twitch around his hips, nerves tingling as you start clamping down around him. Lust clouds your judgment, wanting to draw this out as much as you could, not wanting to cum just yet. Staying in here any longer than absolutely necessary wouldn’t be the smartest thing to do; in fact, it would be the complete opposite of smart. With every second the two of you are together in this restroom, his cock pressed deep inside you, brushing against your cervix, you risk the chances of getting caught, of someone hearing you moan out his name.
Fortunately for you, Heeseung seems to have a similar thought process. Slowly, his thrusts come to a halt, and he pulls out of you. The emptiness he leaves behind rips a pitiful whine from you, and he shushes you by pressing his lips against yours in a quick, gentle kiss before moving you off the counter and turning you around. You don't mind him manhandling you — you enjoy it even — his touches soft but forceful as he makes your back collide with his chest, your eyes meeting in the big mirror in front of you.
"Be a good girl and bend over for me."
His breath is hot against your ear, voice low and drenched with desire oozing off it thick like honey as you feel his cock dig into the flesh of your ass, the combined sensations sending shivers down your spine. His fingers graze your thighs as he lifts the bottom of your dress above your ass, letting it pool around your hips. Slowly, he pulls your underwear down your legs, his blunt nails scraping your burning skin, leaving trails of goosebumps in their wake. The ruined cotton falls to the tiled floor beneath your feet, transparent and sticky with your arousal, as you lean your torso onto the counter, holding yourself up with your shaking arms. You step out of them, blindly kicking them to the side to allow yourself more freedom to move.
Impatiently, you look over your shoulder, wiggling your ass to silently urge him to hurry up and get back to fucking you again. He can't resist the temptation, even if he would’ve attempted to try, running his hand over your bare ass, caressing your soft, round globes before landing a slap against your smooth skin — not a particularly harsh or painful one, not nearly as forceful as you know he’s capable of, but hard enough to send a wave of electricity through your body, a muffled sob falling from your lips at the sensation — before placing them back on your hips, his fingers digging into your soft flesh with a bruising grip.
Not wasting any more time, he slides right back inside you. The different angle pulls a moan from you, mixing with the low groan falling from Heeseung's mouth as your warm pussy embraces his cock. One of his hands presses against your back, pinning your front against the cold marble counter underneath you, your arms shaking as you scramble to find something to hold onto. The sounds tumbling past his lips make you clench around his length, the low rumble of his groans bouncing off the walls surrounding you, his chest heaving up and down with each erratic roll of his hips turning you into a panting mess as he repeatedly hits that one sensitive spot within you. You try your best to hold eye contact with him through the mirror, wanting nothing more than to see the pleasure clearly written on his face right as you cum, but you simply cannot. 
Your head falls forward, eyes screwing shut as you let pleasure take over you — your mind, your body, all of your senses.
His hand on your shoulder snaps you out of your stupor, looking up briefly just to see his eyes trained right on where you're connected, watching his dick disappear within your creamy hole again and again, laser-focused as if he was in a trance. He pulls you back to him with each of his thrusts, making you meet him with even more force. You let out a fervent moan at the sensation, your sobs joining the squelching sound of wet skin slapping against skin reverberating around the room. He drives inside you at a merciless pace, each thrust harder than the last one, making your entire body jolt at the force of them.
Heeseung steadies himself, taking his hand off your hip to place on the counter beside you, quickening his pace just slightly as his cock twitches inside of you in response to a particularly pornographic moan of yours.
"Hee-'m so close," you whine, fingers clawing at the marble counter, legs shaking as you feel yourself inching closer and closer to the edge with each drag of his heavy cock inside of you, each snap of his hips against yours.
Heeseung throws his head back at the sensation of your cunt fluttering around him, groaning out as his nails bite into your skin, "Just a bit longer, baby, almost there."
His hand on your shoulder pulls you up, your back colliding with his chest as he continues the merciless pace of his thrusts. The angle at which he keeps fucking into you feels overwhelming, consuming your whole mind and body, yet pleasurable in the best way, and you swear this is the closest you've ever been to heaven before. Your soft whines and pants turn into moans, growing louder with every passing second as you hold onto Heeseung's arm wrapped around your front, pressing you into his chest.
In a moment of clarity, Heeseung notices just how loud your moans have gotten, and as much as it pains him, he knows he quickly has to think of something to silence you unless you want someone to hear you on the outside of the door, resulting in a guaranteed scandal. His solution: his hand wrapped around your throat.
A gasped whimper escapes your mouth as you feel his fingers pressing into your skin, the slight pressure and the weight of his hand against your throat causes your head to spin, his grip not strong enough to hurt or leave marks but send dizzying pleasure right to the depths of your belly. Your breath hitches as your airways constrict, eyes rolling into the back of your head, hand reaching up to hold onto his wrist, making sure his hand stays right where it is, already addicted to the feeling.
The lack of air combined with his relentless thrusts sends you into a frenzy, you feel like you're floating, your limbs tingling, and the world around you blurs, your only focus on Heeseung's gaze that meets yours in the mirror in front of you. He's attentive, watching you closely and making sure you can still breathe — which you can, but the thrill of it all leaves you light-headed and gasping for air — while chasing his own high, pressing his lips into your shoulder to muffle the desperate groans threatening to escape him. 
His grip on your throat tightens, just barely, but enough to cut off your air supply for just a short moment, the rush sending a brand new wave of arousal pooling in the depths of your belly. It feels like he's everywhere — his cock thrusting into you at a merciless pace, his hand wrapped securely around your throat while his arm winds around your waist, pulling you flush against his front, not allowing you to move in the slightest. The intensity of it all is overwhelming your senses, the lack of oxygen making everything sharper, more intense, and you're reveling in the sensation of him pounding into you and sending every nerve in your body buzzing with electric pleasure.
"God, so greedy, couldn't even wait until we were back at the hotel, could you? Just had to have my cock buried deep inside you, can't get enough of it, right, princess?” he grunts lowly as he loosens the grip on your throat, lips pressing into your ear, sending shivers down your spine as your walls clamp down on him while you suck in a desperate gasp of air. 
You're too far gone to respond, your mind clouded with lust, hazy and floating like a cloud on a balmy spring day. All you can do is moan out his name, over and over again, a prayer falling from your lips as he continues thrusting into you, your body pushing against his tight hold of your waist, instinctively moving to meet every snap of his hips. His pace is relentless, Heeseung's thoughts replaced by his need to cum, desperately chasing his own high as he drives you closer and closer to the edge of blissful oblivion. The coil inside you winds impossibly tight, your legs shaking, and if it weren't for your boyfriend holding you upright, you know you'd be a mess of tangled limbs on the cold tiled floor beneath your feet already.
"Cum inside me—fuck, Heeseung, please," you plead breathily, your voice cracking as desperation takes over it, insatiable hunger and need setting your insides on fire.  
"Shit, you want me to cum inside you, yeah?"
His hand rubs over the mound of your ass, soothing your raw skin, sensitive from the slap he delivered to it just mere moments ago. His fingers dig into the flesh of your hips with such force you're sure to find bruises the following day. 
“God, yes, Heeseung!” you cry out, your voice breaking as you feel the knot inside you tighten rapidly, coiling tighter and tighter until it's a white-hot ball of pleasure, ready to explode and set your body alight.
He leans down slightly, his breath tickling your ear as he whispers into your ear, “Be a good girl and cum for me, then you’ll get what you’re asking for. Come on, let go, cum for me, pretty girl."
And just like that you find yourself tipping over the edge, his words breaking the dam inside you and allowing your high to crash over you like a tidal wave, destroying everything in its wake. Pleasure courses through every inch of your body. Every vein, every nerve is set alight and dragged along the powerful and overwhelming waves of your release. Your slick walls clamp down around him like a vice, spasming with every drag of his cock, every brush of his mushroom tip against that one spot that makes stars explode in front of your eyes.
His grip on you loosens enough to allow your upper half to fall forward, catching yourself as you lean on your forearms, left panting and completely undone as you gasp for air, lungs burning and desperate for the sweet taste of oxygen.
Heeseung lets out a strangled moan at the feeling of your dripping cunt tightening around him with even more force, his control slipping as his thrusts become urgent and uncontrollable. He murmurs something underneath his breath, but the rush of your heartbeat echoing in your ears is too loud, drowning out his words, which you assume are mumbled curses of your name.
You lose yourself in the sensation, barely able to form any coherent thoughts as your climax drags on. Each wave drags you deeper and deeper into the current of pleasure, leaving you gasping for air, body twitching and trembling as Heeseung prioritizes his own pleasure, chasing his high with renewed fervor.
Heeseung has never been a selfish lover, always putting your pleasure first, making sure you got to cum at least once before even letting himself think about the possibility of his own release. And maybe that’s part of the thrill for him, repeatedly — intentionally — edging himself until he finally gets what he wants from you, driving himself to the edge of his release over and over again until he is so sensitive he feels like he’s about to explode from just the slightest stimulation.
“Oh fuck, baby—“ he pants with a strained voice, his chest rising and falling rapidly, breaths ragged as he finally allows himself to let go.
With a low guttural groan, Heeseung spills himself inside of you, thick spurts of his warm cum shooting deep into your pulsing cunt, painting your insides white and oozing out of your pussy past his cock. The heat of it sends tiny aftershocks through you; your body shakes as you try to catch your breath, looking into the mirror to see him working himself through the last dredges of his orgasm, jaw slack and body trembling. His face is glistening with sweat, beads of it rolling down his throat and disappearing beneath the neckline of his black shirt.
The sight of him is enough to make you ache with need all over again — his face twisted in pleasure, his eyes dark and unfocused as he watches his cum leak out of your wrecked pussy around his length. You cannot help but think of the folder on his phone, password protected to keep it from the wrong eyes and filled to the brim with pictures you hope never see the light of day: his cum dripping out of your ruined cunt; his cock shoved into your mouth, the lower half of your face messy with a mix of spit, cum, tears, and lipstick; love bites scattered across the skin of your neck and the insides of your thighs like the constellations of the night sky. If you had more time, you’re sure he would add to that growing collection of his, pulling out his phone and snapping multiple pictures until he was satisfied, moving your body into various positions to get the best shot.
Instead of allowing your small daydream to become reality, Heeseung pulls out of you, the sudden emptiness leaving you whimpering and clenching around nothing, the squelching wet sound of him slipping his cock out of you echoing around the room.
He takes another moment to admire the mess he's made of you, leaning back slightly as he watches his cum drip from your drenched hole. He reaches out, letting his fingers run between your folds to collect his cum just to shove it back into you. The sight of your pussy swallowing his digits, your puffy lips embracing them with ease makes his cock twitch again, overstimulated and sensitive but still aching for more.
“Hee—fuck, please,” you’re not even sure what you’re begging for, mind fuzzy and eyes heavy as you watch him through the mirror in front of you. 
You try to drink it all in, wanting this moment embedded in your memory until the end of your days. His dark hair falling into his eyes, focused on the white globs of his cum slipping out of your cunt from around his fingers and running down your thigh. His skin is flushed, sweat beaded on it like little gems glued to reddened satin. It trails down his neck to his chest, revealed by the undone top button of his shirt. 
Heeseung interrupts your little ogling session when he pulls his fingers out slowly, savoring the way you shudder at the loss. 
You catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror before he gently turns you around to face him: lips puffy and swollen, eyes watery and completely wrecked despite your combined effort to prevent just this from happening when you were still able to think clearly before your minds were clouded with lust. 
“You did so well, baby,” Heeseung murmurs, his voice thick with a twisted mix of pride and possessiveness as he angles your head so his lips capture yours in a kiss that sends another wave of burning heat through you, igniting the glowing embers lingering deep within you.
His hands slide to your hips, fingers digging into your flesh as he effortlessly lifts you up, your bare thighs resting on the vanity underneath you, the cold marble biting into the raw and tender skin of your ass.
“Made such a mess, can you feel it dripping out of you?” — you nod at his question despite knowing he didn’t ask for you to answer — “Want me to clean you up?”
“Fuck, yes,” you breathe out your reply, eyes glossing over at the intention.
A smirk tugs at the corners of his lips, the unspoken meaning of his words written as clear as day on his face as he slowly lowers himself to the tiled floor beneath his feet, spreading your legs in the process to make room for him to fit between them. He looks up at you from between your spread thighs, leaning forward slightly to press his lips against the insides of them, alternating between nibbling and sucking, sure to leave marks for you to find the next day. A whispered sigh of his name slips past your lips as you throw your head back slightly, his lips ghosting closer and closer to where you need him, to where his cum was still dripping out of you.
His warm breath fans over your wet center, lips just a hair's width away from your pulsing cunt when a gentle knock interrupts you. Heeseung jumps up at the sound, back on his feet in an instant. Your eyes are wide in panic as you meet his gaze before you both turn to the door.
“Shit,” Heeseung mouths as he rushes to grab some paper towels to wipe your mixed juices from between your thighs, hoping that whoever just knocked on the door isn’t aware of the fact that there are currently two people in this bathroom. Two people who certainly could not afford to be caught in a position like you are currently finding yourselves in.
“Heeseung? It’s me, Jay.”
The sigh of relief leaving both of you could almost be described as comical if not for the tension still lingering between you, all the worries and anxieties of a secret relationship almost coming true. Haphazardly, Heeseung pulls his pants up, the undone belt still hanging from his hips as he helps you down from the vanity, hands tugging at the hem of your dress to give you at least a slight bit of decency. He takes one look in the mirror, letting out a small groan before shuffling over to open the door.
The moment the door opens, Jay turns towards both of you, hands buried in the pockets of his pants as he awkwardly shifts from one foot to the other. The redness of his ears confirms your suspicions that he most likely heard more than you would’ve liked, immediately sending your blood rushing to your head, face burning with embarrassment at your friend catching you in such a precarious position. He clears his throat once, trying — and failing — to subtly take in Heeseung’s appearance before shooting a small, albeit flustered, smile at the two of you.
“We gotta leave, like,” he takes a look at his phone to check the time, “right now, actually. I already bought you both some time, told them you weren’t feeling well, and Heeseung wanted to make sure you’re alright. You should…clean yourselves up a bit. Meet us at the entrance in 5?”
You both nod as you watch Jay turn to leave after looking your boyfriend and you up and down once again, shaking his head as he deeply sighs in disappointment — a sound almost eerily similar to one you had heard your parents make several times when you were younger — and you swear as he walks away you can hear him mumble to himself about how you were like two hormonal teenagers, not able to keep it in your pants for even one night.
“Well, guess we gotta get you cleaned up, huh, sweetheart?” 
“Oh no, we don’t!” you jab your finger into his chest as he chuckles at you, “I get cleaned up, and you can go meet up with everyone. It’ll be less suspicious if we don’t show up at the same time.”
Heeseung holds up his hand in fake surrender, a smile still playing with his glossy lips as his eyes roam over your body with one last hungry gaze. Despite the burning ache inside him, the quick kiss he presses against your lips is nothing but sweet and gentle, tenderness quickly replaces the darkness formerly taking over his eyes, “I’ll text you later. Maybe we can manage to sneak you into my hotel room later.”
“Sounds like a plan,” your hands wrap around his arms, giving his biceps one last affectionate squeeze before ushering him out of the bathroom and away to join his group members, giving you a few more precious minutes to clean up, make yourself look somewhat presentable — or at least presentable enough to not have any fans or press question just what exactly happened over the past hour — and find out where you had kicked your underwear in the heat of the moment.
You take a moment to watch your boyfriend walk away, the slight bounce in his step is a dead giveaway for the people who knew him that he just got laid, but lucky for both of you, no one of importance should be able to figure him out and turn this whole thing into an issue for the two of you. Just as you’re about to turn around and assess his damage in the big vanity mirror, Heeseung turns around one more time, eyes twinkling with mischief as he takes you in, watching the way your eyebrows rise on your forehead in a silent question at his sudden halt.
“Oh, and baby?” you nod your head in response, “Make sure to wipe the lipstick from your chin. We wouldn’t want anyone to find out what a greedy slut you are for me, would we now?”
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