#BUT besides that...it would be fun to make some for friends
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The roars and the shouts are heard before it becomes silent as something is heard shut. A door. Muffled shouts are heard before laughter is heard, "With this, I can make a new animatronic! Thanks to those brats, I can collect enough agony to make more of these things! It's thanks to that stupid owner who wouldn't give up. Hell, they brought in some damn brats..." Said a figure. It sounded male.
Megumi didn't like that at all. What was he planning to do?! Make more of the animatoric but it sounds like he would make it more danger and disturbing where it might get even worse. He saw Miko struggling but she glares at him while still moving.
"Oh well...I just need to move and leave this dump. Not before bringing more brats in here!" He cackled. "I just need to use those dumb robots and a helper to bring them here."He said.
Someone came into view, he wore a grey Zilla mask, this one looked metal as it had yellow eyes. He looks at Miko, "Tell me...I wonder which of your friends will get here first. The girls, the boys, or that brother and sister! Who knows! It makes the game fun, doesn't it?"
"......" Miko still tries to struggle but he sighed to look at her.
"Now now, don't struggle. You'll hurt yourself like that. I can't let a fresh offering get ruined." he said only to hear more sickening crunch noises to see himself. Miko saw blood on him but also saw the animatronic show up but it was coated in blood along with holding a bloody axe.
Right away Miko's face pales a little. "Though, again, we just begun the game..I'm sure you'll have loads of fun..won't you? Besides, I still didn't forgive you for that kick earlier after you escaped twice. TWICE!" he shouted as he slams the axe above her head almost cutting her hands but missed.
"With your wrestling moves and all that punching and kicking. That hurt you know. BUT! I forgive you for it." he pouts to grip her chin forcing her to look at him.
"I mean after all....I had sooooooo fun making sure you didn't do it again." he said glaring at her but Miko kept looks at him seeing the bloody axe near by.
"So lets see if we can have more guests show up...but you'll be fine won't you.." he smiled petting Miko's head while she was still struggling hoping she can break free again.
"But lets see...maybe you can lead your friends here for me! You can be so helpful and I know I can get them trapped.." he giggled but Miko shook her head furiously not wanting that. He looks to her but he only glares seeing the mask up close that she stares into his glowing yellow eyes.
"Don't you fucking say no to me...you're lucky I didn't kill you.." he said as she was quiet. "Just because you got lucky, I'll be sure you don't...so unless you want me to cut that pretty little head of yours..behave." he warns.
Megumi was worried seeing this but watching the animatronic take him away was troubling. However, Miko kept struggling in her chains trying to get out as she was still gagged. She can hear Meko's screams for help as the roaring was louder now before hearing a door slam close.
"What the hell is this?" megumi asked but he was worried before Miko was trying to talk looking to the camera worried or is she trying to say something? He did see Anaconda there trying to help but the chains had some anit cursed energy so he can't bite into it. She still struggles harshly before she heard Meko screaming again.
"Mffmmm!?!?"
"NO PLEASE! PLEASE DON'T! YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS! PLEASE i...WAIT NO NO NOOOOO!!" She heard another scream before a sicking cut was heard with a pained cry.
"Aaahhh!! IT HURTS! IT'S HURTS PLEASE DON'T! I DON'T WANT TO DIE!!" he begs in the room as Miko was worried.
#IC#rp reply#short rp thread#silver roses#halloween mission start#fnaf inspired rp#jujutsu kaisen au#yuji itadori#the cursed vessel/jujutsu sorcerer of the damned#megumi fushiguro#shadow jutusu sorcerer/chimera snake#chunibyo-x-sorcerer
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Jason Todd x South Asian!Reader HCs
requested | reader is fem, i tried to keep it non-specific so it applies to the whole region, not just india, hopefully i succeeded😬
i looooved writing this it was so much fun. drop an ask with anything else you want to see!!
When you show him Bollywood movies, at first he’s like “Why are these so damn long?” But watches them anyway because you’re so excited to show him
He obviously sobs at K3G (because he has daddy AND big brother issues)
But his favorite is probably 3 Idiots or Bhaag Milkha Bhaag (he just seems like the type to looove an underdog story am I right)
Since Jason likes cooking, he’s learning how to make all your favorite foods. He’s eaten a lot of Indian food before (duh, it’s New Jersey), so he’s familiar with the flavors and spices, but some dishes are easier than others. He tries to make dosa after you mentioned liking it but it does not go well
He’s trying so hard to impress you but they all keep breaking😭 and the ones that don’t break come out burnt. When he finally relents and lets you help him, you hold his hand and guide him to make the proper movements; pouring the batter, spreading it into a circle, and gently flipping it so it doesn’t break
He loves chai, and is always experimenting with different recipes and flavors and asking you to test them
You're taking him to the Indian market so often, by the end of the month he knows the names for all the vegetables and spices in your language and where to find them
He thinks you with mehendi/henna is the most attractive thing ever
Your friend’s getting married? Of course he’ll feed you while your mehendi’s drying, you don't even have to ask
When it's still fresh and at its darkest color he's actually going batshit insane (pun intended); he loves interlacing your fingers together and seeing the contrast of your dark, decorated fingers against his large, strong ones. His phone background is a selfie of you guys where your faces are squished side-by-side and one of your mehendi'd hands is cupping his cheek
And when you're on top of him, the sight of your adorned hands pressed flat against his bare chest, flushed and heaving...he thinks it belongs in a museum
He just loves doing little acts of service; one day you’re complaining offhandedly to him about how the price of eyebrow threading keeps going up, a week later you’ve forgotten all about it but he’s like “I learned how to thread your eyebrows”
He figured it would be easy enough, and as someone who’s life often depends on steady, surgical aim and precision, it is
Roy’s walking around looking messed up as fuck for a couple weeks but that’s beside the point because he’s got the hang of it now
When it comes to putting on a sari, he'll put the pins in the hard to reach places if you ask, but for the most part he just loves watching you put it on. he thinks it's so cute the way you scrunch your face in focus as you make the folds and tuck in the fabric with such concentration (Jason Todd domesticity agenda)
One night you're getting dressed up for some party, but no matter what you do and how many times you take it off and try to re-drape it, it just won't come out good and you get so frustrated and teary-eyed that he has to intervene
He makes you take a break, brings you a snack, and kisses you until you feel better, and then he pulls up a youtube video to do it for you— but he can't do it either😭
So you both decide to give up and you wear a lehenga instead
It’s a fairly modest one, and even though he's seen you wearing more-revealing clothes (and none at all), he's going crazy over that one inch sliver of exposed skin on your midriff
He already loves seeing you dressed up in traditional wear but if you put jasmine flowers in your hair with it??? The fragrance coming from you makes him feral. It lingers in your hair for a couple days and he can’t stop following you around and sniffing you LMAO
The first time you get a kurta for him, it’s actually impossible to find one that fits because he’s so big and buff (drool) so you just end up buying the fabric and getting it custom stitched
There's only a few scraps of the fabric left and you get the wonderful idea of braiding the scraps into a bracelet so you have something to match with him and it makes him go crazy
Early on in your relationship, you’re a little afraid to have oil in your hair in front of him because you’re worried he’ll think the smell is too strong
Jason is probably familiar with the practice of hair oiling from his time with Talia (but you don’t know that yet)
He actually LOVES when you oil your hair around him. Just something about him being the only one who gets to see you when you’re comfy and unready is so intimate to him and makes him feel so special and trusted and loved🥹
Time for some of my physical touch x touch starved!Jason propaganda
After a particularly difficult night of patrolling, he comes to you stressed and anxious and unsure what to do with himself. So you make him sit on the floor in front of your bed, warm up some of the oil, and seat yourself on the edge of the mattress. He leans back against your legs and you massage the warm oil into his scalp. It feels heavenly. You’re using the perfect amount of pressure, hitting all the right spots, and it feels so good he wants to cry. Later, when you pull him into the shower to shampoo it out, he actually does cry, hoping the water falling from the shower head hides the tears (it doesn’t, and it breaks your heart)
(If you were raised Hindu) I think he'd be very interested in the belief in reincarnation, past & future lives, oneness with the universe, etc...it might help him make some sense of his coming back
You bring mediation into his life, and that also really helps him
You wear Kajal/kohl/surma on your eyes, and whenever he’s looking especially good, or before he goes out as red hood, you smudge some onto your finger and put a mark behind his ear, just to be safe (it’s believed to deflect jealousy/bad intentions from others) (yes I’m superstitious sue me)
Or you just tie a black thread around his ankle
When you first explain to him that you want him to wear a black thread around his ankle because of a superstition, he thinks you’re joking. He can’t believe you actually believe in that
But he can’t say no to you and he secretly likes that you also have one so it feels like you’re matching
He considers it a good luck charm, not because he believes the superstition but because it’s from you
omg thank you for all the love on these<3 dick's will be posted tomorrow
update: read dick's hcs here !
#nightwing#batman#red hood#jason todd#dick grayson#jason todd x reader#jason todd x you#jason todd x y/n#batfamily#dc universe#dc comics#dcu#damian wayne#dc robin#robin#bruce wayne#dick grayson x reader#dick grayson x you#dick grayson x y/n
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“cause I'm a jealous girl”
— ( 🎙️ ) " it didn't feel like that when you were talking to her" she says her eyes almost looking hurt and mad
— ( 🖋️ ) fluff and angst , arguing , jelous lara , swearing, possessiveness (?) , some parts are lyrics!, drugs , drinking , party ,if I have forgotten any tags please tell me mwa
— ( 🎬 ) new theme! hope you guys like it ^^ , my themes are heavily inspired by @/ninguitar so please do check out their blog
the party was packed—people were squished together , many were passed out drunk and not to mention some were taking drugs
the only reason you came here in the first place was for your girlfriend lara, she loved parties and lively energy that surges throughout the place—it kept her alive and thriving
as usual lara was drinking and having fun with some of her friends, you decided to stay in the corner with some liquor in your hands , taking a swig — the burning sensation quickly made it's way to your throat making you wince
"you look amazing!" you hear someone compliment lara, she in fact looked amazing—she truly is a masterpiece in your perspective
"thanks!—i could say the same about you" lara replies her hands are now on the woman's waist — a little too much for your liking but you trust lara she's just naturally friendly right?
"ooh someones jelly" manon teases as she looks at where you were staring, "am not" you said with the same playful tone , you were , actually you were very much jelous — lara should be with you not with her either way you let it be
"whatever you say — besides you are practically just sitting in the corner the whole night! , talk to people you might just make new friends" manon suggests which you took into consideration
wasting no time you lift yourself off the couch and walk towards the table where some drinks were placed , men were glued to this spot which icked you but you saw some girls here earlier , maybe they'll come back
"hi there!" you hear a woman say behind you , you turn around to be greeted by a short woman , you knew her she was talking to lara earlier — either way she looks nice and honestly someone you wouldn't guess goes to parties like these
"hii~ I'm y/n how about you?" you ask giving her a warm smile , "ezrela! , you're lara's girlfriend right??" she replies with the same enthusiastic voice
"yep! , and you participated in the dream academy too right??" you ask a bit of doubt in your voice since you weren't sure , "sure did! — it was honestly very fun" ezrela replies to which you ask more about
a good 20 minutes passed by and you didn't even notice ezrela was really nice and friendly, her humor was a lot like yours
you felt a pair of eyes glued to you , surprise surprise it's lara she was watching you and ezrela talk like you two had been friends since birth , gosh her rbf was stronger now
"i hate to say this but I have to go" you said frowning at ezrela, she smiles instead and asks for your number to which you gave her "see you soon??" you ask , "sure!" she replies
you walk towards your girlfriend who looked like she would beat the fuck out of you , you knew she could never but she just looked so mad
"you remember me?" she says her voice dripping in faux surprise, here it starts, you could never catch a break can you? , "what do you mean? love don't tell me you're mad"
"what — I'm not just curious what you guys were talking about , you were smiling like a stupid kid" she replied, first she said you look like a stupid kid which A. you didn't and B. shes just mad , second she was very jealous
"we were talking about her experience in the dream academy" you replied hands on her arms , you can smell the air around you it smelt like cheap beer and sweat but lara smelled amazing like a musky and fresh one
she didn't reply for a minute seemingly thinking about what you said her face was still — like rbf? or maybe confused you didn't know
"oh her experience?" lara said emphasizing her , her fists curl into a ball , you knew she wasn't mad at ezrela she could never that woman was like the sweetest soul you know next to yoonchae
"baby why are you mad?? — you know I love you right?" you said reassuring her , as you take her hands into yours massaging her palm with your thumb
"it didn't look like that when you were talking to her" lara says her eyes looking hurt and mad , you messed up big time
"baby I love you so much" you tell her kissing her lips, repeating the words like a mantra , "I love you so much, I'm all yours don't worry" you said as you place the last kiss on her hands
"really?" lara asks there was no doubt in her voice , you knew that she knew you loved her
"really, now can we enjoy ourselves — I can't waste the night when you look so pretty" you say a giggle escaping your mouth you walk her towards the middle and dance sensually to the song
"baby I'm a gangster too and it takes two to tango"
"you don't wanna mess with me (mess with me) cause I'm a jealous jelous jelous girl" she repeats the lyrics
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The leash and the liquorice pt.1
cw petplay, queer horny stuff
"My beloved tulip?"
"Yes, Mistress?"
"I need to go visit Xarsei, apparently there have been issues on Jupiter that require my attention. Would you like to come with me so you can play a bit with Kyle in the meantime?"
"Oh yes yes yes please~"
"Look at you, I can see the yearning in your eyes. Do you like Kyle don't you?"
"Yes, Kyle is a nice friend. and we have always lots of fun together."
"You two together are adorable. You will probably start making out and humping on each other as soon as we enter Xarsei's hab."
"Well..."
"I have an idea for this playdate of yours."
"Y- yes?"
"Psylocra developed a special treat for florets who are into petplay. You can think of it as a mix of Class A, D, J and H. Xersei already accepted to have Kyle try it. I am asking you if you want to take it as well. Psylocra will be there all the time watching and recording your reactions but you two will be able to play undisturbed."
"Is it safe?"
"My dearest, will I ever expose you to any kind of danger? Besides I know you will love it."
"No miss, that's not- that's not what I meant."
"That's my good girl. You'll have to take it now and then we need to onset it before leaving. Here, eat this."
"Mh, tastes like liquorice."
"Yes, Psylocra was a bit unsure on the flavoring, I told her liquorice is one of your favourites."
"Oh~ this is nice."
"How are you feeling?"
"Dizzy, thoughts are becoming harder and harder to..."
"Having troubles to keep yourself on two feets, my dearest floret?"
"Yes. On fours, better."
"What are you?"
"A- a pet."
"Yes you are, you are the most gorgeous pet. Now surrender your thoughts. Good pets do not need thoughts."
yes mistress
*ARF*
did I just barked? Wait I can't talk? What?
"That's my good girl, who's a good girl?"
I am I am I AM I AM
*ARF ARF*
"Yes you, yes you are! Such a good girl."
yes mistress happy I am happy I am a good girl
"Now: paw."
my han- my paw immediately raises to reach her vine
"Very good. Sit."
I did good I did good yes! ok, sit, simple. Wait what does sit mean? What? Sitsitsit. What was sit?
"Deena, sit."
oh nono mistress angry at Deena mistress angry Deena is good puppy Deena sit but what sit what sit
*whining*
"It's simple little pet, sit. If you sit I'll reward you."
deena wants reward deena loves mistress deena wants reward deena loves mistress deena wants reward deena loves mistress sit sit sit sit is back paws down front paws up sit yes sit
"Like that, yes. Very good girl, my beloved floret."
*RUFF RUFF RUFF*
"Deena, low your voice."
low voice yes low voice deena loves mistress deena lows voice mistress order
"Your reward: scritches behind the ears."
mistress vines yes ohhhhh~
this good this sooooo~ gooood~
"My, my what do we have here? Someone's excited, you're leaking all over and just from some ear scritches."
*aaaaaarf~*
"Maybe you want me to take care of that? Maybe you want my vines around all your little body? Is that what you want?"
yesyesyesyesyes please Deena good girl Deena want mistress
*arf arf! ARF!*
"Like this?"
*a~ arf~ r-ruff*
soo good vines touch pleasure love vines pleasure touch Deena cum now Deena cum now now now
"No. I see where you're going there. No, my beloved. I don't want to spoil your playdate with the other puppy."
but but but but but Deena want cum Deena close cum
*whines*
"I said no, Deena. Now be a good pet and let me leash you. We have to go. I don't want to make Xarsei and Psylocra wait for us. Come on, good girl."
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!Pairing: Loser!Jake x Cheerleader!Reader!
Genre: Strangers to lovers, mutual pinning, fluff.
Warnings: Swearing, make outs. [Let me know if I missed anything.]
Jake Sim loves a lot of things.
He loves his dog, Layla.
He loves his family.
But he especially loves School Spirit Fridays, In fact, those are the days he looks forward to most on school days simply because It means he gets to see you all dolled up in your cheerleading uniform.
You are [Y/n] [L/n] the cheer captain you were the kind of girl that guys wanted and girls wanted to be. Jake believes you came from another planet simply because you were able to pull off the hideous school color combination of red and yellow, now normally, these colors together would be fine but the problem was all people could think about was McDonald's when looking at the cheer team. While you managed to pull it off others looked like they should pull it off since it didn't suit them. On these specific days Jake makes sure to show up in rooms or hallways he knows you walk down simply so he could catch a glimpse of you and if he was fortunate enough he’d catch a whiff of your strawberry-scented perfume. Naturally, his friends make fun of him for this and tease him relentlessly, especially Niki the youngest of his friends, “Dude, you really need to stop with the [Y/n] obsession.” The tall boy teases, “It's seriously embarrassing for you.” He finishes but Jake just brushes him off “You don't understand Niki.” He sighs blissfully, “It's not an obsession, it's love.” Jake states, staring at you with heart eyes as you walk past him once again, “Listen, Jake,” Niki chuckles at his hyung, “You should try just talking to her,” Niki shrugs, “Besides the worst that can happen is she’ll reject you.” This makes Jake whip his head towards the boy with a scowl on his face, “What! No way dude!” He refuses, “What if she thinks I’m weird or something? Or what if she laughs in my face!” He spirals his fingers tugging at his hair in worry.
Meanwhile, you walk into your next class and search the room for the familiar head of your friend Mina. Once you find her you quickly rush over, “Mina!” You squeal, “Guess who I saw again!” You giggle girlishly, and she rolls her eyes, every Friday you do this. you walk down the same hallways so that you can see the boy you for some reason think is cute. She sighs, “Was it your little hallway crush again?” She guesses gruffly, you sequel again and nod your head violently, "Yes, I saw him again!” you smile widely, she laughs at your actions and pats your head making you pout, “You should seriously just go up and talk to him.” she tries to reason with you “Besides no guy could turn the cheer captain down.” She encourages but this just makes you pout more, “But what if he only says yes because I’m the cheer captain?” you cry out “Nah, I’m sure he wouldn’t do that.” She tries to comfort you.
Later you’re sat in class staring at the clock as the minutes tick down until lunch begins. You groan and place your head on the cold surface of your desk glancing over at Mina who is paying attention to the lesson up front. “Psst!” You hiss out trying to catch her attention “Mina!” You whisper shout in her direction finally gaining her attention from a few seats away, she side-eyes you before rolling her eyes and finally paying attention to you, “I'm so boreddd~” you moan out quietly so you don't get in trouble with your teacher, “And what does that have to do with me.” She whispers out sharply, and you groan again, shifting positions “Nothing, I guess but I need you to cure me of it.” You say your voice muffled by your desk, she chuckles at you before turning back towards the front. After she stops paying attention to you you start thinking of random things like what your next cheer choreography should be, and the one you spend the most time thinking about, your hallway crush.
On Fridays you always see him heading down the same hall as you and your heart skips a beat, you’ve always thought he’s rather cute and you like the glasses he wears, not to mention his accent, gosh do you love a man with an accent. When you stop daydreaming you glance up at the clock and see there's still a whole five minutes before class ends, groaning you place your head back on your desk and jump at how cold it is you hate how cold this teacher leaves his classroom so you try to pull your skirt down lower on your legs to try and stay warm, your saving grace being your long-sleeved uniform top but even the fabric was rather thin and didn't fight well against the elements, but you always made sure to wear it on School Spirit Fridays since you are the captain. You somehow manage to fall asleep and abruptly wake up when you hear the bell go off as you jump to your feet and rush out of the classroom and towards the cafeteria unfortunately for you, you're not watching where you’re going, and end up crashing into some poor individual sending you both down crashing to the cold tile floor. When you look down to who you’ve crushed underneath you you’re mortified to find it's your hallway crush.
Jake’s eyes widen as he sees the incoming floor after somebody had rudely shoved him, when they both fell to you floor the person had somehow managed to fall on him, I mean the nerve of some people, but when he glimpses over his shoulder to see his attacker he catches a whiff of perfume he could never forget, his eyes trail up and land to see your blushing face. No. Fucking. Way. He nearly combusts, but before he can even say anything you’re quickly rushing to get off of him spouting out intelligible words and all he can catch is “I am so, so sorry!” He smiles at you and pushes himself up too before speaking, “N-no worries.” He tries to calm you down but keeps stuttering over his words, you giggle at how cute the boy in front of you is but you immediately regret it because his face looks scared and you immediately apologize again “Sorry, sorry I promise I’m not laughing at you it’s just you look really cute.” You accidentally blurt out the last part, at hearing your words Jake’s face feels like it’s on fire, he can’t seem to get any words out of his mouth, you being the overthinker you are think his wide eyes mean he’s taken offense to your rushed compliment and you immediately try to apologize but his face begins to show a large grin and he starts to laugh you stand there confused but you then join him laughing at the ridiculous moment you shared. Jake’s laughs slowly die down as he wipes an imaginary tear away “Sorry I didn’t mean to laugh it's just that I think you’re really cute too.” He smiles at you and suddenly it feels as if your whole world is brighter, you shyly thank him and offer to buy him lunch as an apology, Jake swears he's dead and has gone to heaven, “Oh, Uhm sure.” He agrees trying to act nonchalant but you can still see the flush on his face, you then grab his large hand in yours and walk off towards the cafeteria leaving both your friends and his standing there in disbelief at what just happened.
Back at the cafeteria you and Jake sit and start to get to know each other, you talk about a lot of different things, and he ends up showing you a picture of Layla and you instantly fall in love with her, “Oh my gosh!” You squeal, “She is so adorable!” you take his phone from his hand and start admiring the photo up close, Jake laughs at your reaction and grabs his phone from your hands brushing his fingers against yours in the process, causing the both of you to blush, “Uhm, If you want I could introduce you to her someday.” He says shyly avoiding eye contact with you and rubbing the back of his head, You quickly grasp his free hand leaning over the table and pressing it against your chest “Really? You’d do that!” You ask excitedly, his eyes dart down to where his hand is and immediately looks away nodding his head, “Y-yea.” He gulps, and you smile brightly at him, “Oh,” you gasp, “I forgot to introduce myself, I’m [Y/n}.” you say sweetly, he smiles back and you mumble a quiet “I know.” you ask if he said something but he shakes you off and says “Oh, I said I’m Jake.” You mentally congratulate yourself on figuring out your hallway crush’s name “You have a nice name, Jake.” You compliment, he stutters out a meek “You too [Y/n].” causing you to giggle.
After that day you would always seek the boy out during lunch so you could talk to him more, the more you got to know him the more you fell for him, little did you know he felt the same way, he couldn’t believe the girl he’s been crushing on since sophomore year was actually talking to him, he knew you were pretty but you also had a great personality on top of that? God, he's in love. You’ve been hanging out for a couple of weeks now when he finally offers to have you meet Layla.
Jake stands there next to the gate of the school waiting for your cheer practice to end and for the two of you to walk to his house together, he waits there for a few more minutes before he sees your figure in the distance jogging towards him and shouting his name, he thinks you’re so adorable your school uniform is neat and you somehow still look perfect even though you've just finished jumping around for an hour, when you finally reach the boy you practically jump him wrapping yourself around him like a koala, as he rushes to catch you, you both stand there for a moment giggling to yourselves before you finally let go and grab his hand to start dragging him away from the school, “Come on Jake, we can’t keep Layla waiting.” You laugh out, he smiles at you as you drag him away chuckling at how perfect he believes you are.
After Jake stears you the correct way to his house he pulls his keys from his backpack and unlocks the door, the first thing you’re greeted with is the golden border collie jumping up onto Jake and the sweet sound of his laughter, you coo at the scene and immediately drop your things to rush over and start babying the good girl, she definitely enjoys the attention and starts to jump onto you making you laugh as she tries to lick your face, Jake is nervous that you won’t like that so he tries to assist you in getting her off of you but you glare at him and he puts his hands up in surrender and lets the puppy continue to tackle you. After playing with Layla for a few hours you both decided to watch a movie, you wanted Barbie movies but Jake insisted you watch the Andrew Garfield Spiderman movies, after playfully arguing and a game of rock paper scissors to see which movie you’d watch the winner came out to be Jake, so as he opened the app to watch them, you sat on his living room couch cuddled up with Layla laying over both of your laps.
You were now on the second movie and you had shifted over closer to Jake and laid your head on his shoulder, Jake felt that he needed to stay perfectly still but that made you more uncomfortable so you looked up at him and when you did, you noticed him already looking at you. Your faces are inches apart, he could feel your breath fanning over his face, your noses brushing against each other, Jake’s gaze drops to your plump lips and he gulps his Adam's apple bobbing, you stay there staring at him for a couple of seconds before closing the gap and pressing your lips against his, you can feel his glasses bump into your face and your nose brushing against his flushed cheek, your lips splitting as you hear a wet pop, all the color drops from your face and you start to sputter out an apology “I’m so so sorry oh my god,” You panic, “I should definitely not have done that I’m so sorry I-” “[Y/n]” Jake tries to butt in “I’m so so-” you’re suddenly cut off by Jake placing his hands on your flushed cheeks and pulling you in for a second kiss, this kiss is more passionate than the one you shared before and it pulls you in deeper and deeper, it's dizzying the way Jake kisses you it's messy and desperate but more than anything it perfect.
After kissing for a few minutes you finally pull apart from each other and Jake rests his forehead against yours both of you stilling trying to catch your breath eyes closed but holding each other tightly in your arms, After catching his breath Jake finally works up the courage to ask you out, “Uhm,” He breathes out his voice hoarse, You stare at him with your foreheads still connected, “c-can I be your boyfriend?” He asks, his voice hesitant but filled with hope, you quickly pull your forehead away before tackling him to lay down on the couch, your arms wrapped around his neck and your face on his chest breathing in his cologne, “Only if you’ll let me be your girlfriend.” You giggle out, “It’s a deal.”
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#x reader#fanfic#enhypen#enha x reader#sim jaeyun#sim jake#enha#enha fics#enhypen x reader#enhypen x female reader#enhypen x y/n#enhypen x you#jake sim#jake#enhypen jake
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Going into detail about how I feel about all of my friends:
School friends
Gym:
-S: she's nice, but sometimes she says or does something that kinda makes me feel like that wasn't nice or that wasn't necessary and some things about her tick me off but I love her
Socials:
-m: I fucking hate you. I'm only still talking to you cuz I don't want to be alone in that class. You're such a bitch. Every class you call me stupid, and I started acting like I didn't understand your jokes but I do. That one time you called me an ogre? I think about that every time I look in the mirror. Die.
-g: you're so nice. I don't really talk to you but you're chill
Engineering:
-a: you're so funny ily
-m: sometimes you do or say things that annoy me, but you're cool
-a: you're funny and nice.
-j: you're funny and cool
-h: I love talking shit with you and you're so fun to play mobile games with at lunch
Science:
-S: you're such a dick. I'm only friends with you because if I leave you I won't be able to eat lunch with j, and I'll have nobody. But you make mean comments about people and have made me and my friend cry before.
English:
-m: ily you're so nice. I wish I sat beside you so I could talk to you more
-n: you're nice, but your humor hurts me sometimes. You tell me to kms a lot as a joke and sometimes I lowkey debate it
French:
-j: ily. You let me yap about Jeremy and Evan and literally anything I want and you don't really judge
Art and Jewlery:
-t: you're so pretty and kind. Literally trust you sm and I became friends with you in September
-h: sometimes you do things that make me feel like you're not nice, but other than that you're okay
-k: you're nice 👍
-o: you were literally my friend crush for the longest time I love your style and your art
People I eat lunch with:
-a: You're so nice
-a: sometimes you say things I don't agree with, but you're pretty okay
-b: I feel so bad for you when we're talking shit about arianna cuz you're the only one friends with her and none of us really like her
-d: I literally love you so much. You're my best friend. I love your cat and your dog and I love your parents and I feel like I'm a part of your family. I hope we move out together after high school and we blast theater kid music all day and I love calling you and being around you.
Online friends:
Tumblr:
@alchemicalwerewolf
You're so cool and I love talking to you and I love seeing your posts and spamming your ask box
@steph-schuyler
I'm so excited for our art collab. You're so cool
@afireformyheart
I love telling you about all my crushes and I love bugging you about random shit while you're busy
@ilov3b00kss0much
Ik I met you today but I loved talking to you
@th3p0rtalmaker
I love talking to you. Idk what it is it's just so satisfying.
@tatelangdonsgirl
I know we don't really talk anymore but I love seeing your tiktoks. You're so pretty and I really love when we spend all night texting.
All my other tumblr mutuals:
I love seeing your posts. Idc if we don't talk. I love you guys too
Tiktok/snapchat friends:
-E: ily. You're so funny and I love calling you
-N: I don't really know you but I'm glad I met you
-A: you were my best friend for a year straight. I would eat sleep and breathe you. I would wake up thinking about you and go to bed thinking about you. Then you spaced away and wouldn't tell me why. Then you replaced me. And it really hurt. And no matter how much I try, it'll never be the same.
#vent kinda?#i eat lunch with more people but if i already put them in classes i didnt repeat it#thought daughter activities#none of my non tumblr friends have tumblr#sooo#also i have math too as a block but i dont have any friends in it#and i didnt add any ex friends or enemies#but people i currently talk to
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...you know, I might have to make sure I have the colors BUT I kind of want to make some LMK perler charms for my mutuals/friends of their characters now.
#Loss of Powers | {OOC}#The Scrolls | Mun Menu {Post}#And Y E S that means sending the charms too them too; I love giving friends gifts honestly and perler charms are so fun to make#I def want to make my own of Wukong and Macaque too; because of course#Maybe even a Xiuying one cause of the ship I have for all three of them~#BUT besides that...it would be fun to make some for friends
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YIPPEE YAY!! hi guy. beauty that is The Tagging Games <3
favourite colour: green!! used to be mainly that super eye-strainy yellow-green radioactive colour but all shades of green are sooo gorgeous to me i cant pick favourites. well theres one i like the most which is 'green leafs on trees when the sun shines through them' its very specific but its my favourite colour of all time forever...
last song: i had to go through ten pages of tf2 fight songs on last.fm for this. its such a funny bit but by god. anyway it was kuso breaking nou breaking lily by maximum the hormone. listened to that album for the first time a while back and this song is like my all time favourite from it, used to loop it constantly a few weeks/months ago pff
currently reading: cuckoo by gretchen felker-martin! ive yet to finish it but its really good i like it a lot... ive gotta hurry the fuck up i have to take it back to the library in like 3 days lmfao. really want to take a shot at drawning the main cast and the body horror.
currently watching: metalocalypse babyyyyyyyy. honestly wanted to just rewatch aotd again but wanted to finish rewatching the show first. supposed to be rewatching all of jjba but i hate part 2 i dont want to look at it.. also need to finish the golden girls lmao.
currently craving: b&j's cookie dough... i dont even like the cookie dough that much the vanilla ice cream is just so fucking delicious... havent had it in forever though because the price is absolutely fucking ridiculous lmao
coffee or tea: i love iced coffee and i love tea... fuck... i have to go with coffee simply because i like my iced coffees too much. tea is delicious though where would i be without it during winter.
hobby to try: all of them must be done i need to start my projects... drawing, writing, reading more, and uh, squints, making character edits that counts right. i need to learn how to use shotcut lol. been meaning to get into clay stuff or to learn to knit but i always forget to get on it lmao.
current au: cant think of any for the life of me tbh. OH SHIT YEAH my psychonauts metalocalypse au i forgot completely about that. i think dethklok being psychics would be so fucking funny they'd be so terrible. i can imagine revealing their horrors using their mental worlds so easy. i grin sinisterly. psychonauts aus are just so good always. also theyre so fun to design!! besides that all the current others are co-owned so if i was gonna mention them i'd want to make a big thing about it. like a really shitty gender reveal. (they're all really shitty, but you get what i mean right) congratulations, it's a freak!
tagging: friends and mutuals yippee yay! im shy tagging my mutuals so if you dont want to do this per some random internet fellow giving the say-so, then no pressure LOL @brookiesandcream @its-me-im-bumblebee @the-archivists-plus-one @classic-heavy @ruthytwoshakes @maplemaplemaplemaplemaple + anybody else who feels up to it, get silly w/ it!!
Get to Know Me (tagged by @slingbees)
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rules: tag 9 people you want to get to know better and catch up with
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Favorite Color(s): ORANGE!!!!! but also yellow!
Last Song:
youtube
Currently Reading: them Guardians of Ga'hoole books because when I was in the hospital I read one of them.
Currently Watching: I'm going through Red Vs Blue with some friends.
Currently Craving: this peach monster right beside me. don't tempt me.
Coffee or Tea: I haven't been drinking much of either recently, but coffee.
Hobby to Try: Start animating at home.
Current AU: I guess I've been thinking about that Simpsons comic where Smithers gets cloned, fucking hilarious they just start killing each other. Other than that, I don't know.
TAGGING:@sleepypuddding @funkyjunkyfangz @beeframennoodles100 @danklemckspankle @potatoqueensays @notevenhodgepodge @butchbarneygumble @lorogy662 @calpalsworld anyone else too!
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big believer in keiko and kuwabara being besties like. you're my best friend's best friend and instead of it being awkward they realize "hey i really like hanging out with you!" this is ofc extremely detrimental to yusuke who now has two people on his ass
they share textbooks keiko quizzes kuwabara til he drops and she asks for fitness advice. why do i think this? I simply think it'd be funny asf if Keiko randomly got abs of steel. yusuke walks in on them doing sit ups while testing each other on vocab and almost breaks into tears.
"Keiko stop turning kuwabara into a fucking nerd he's wasting all his time studying instead of goofing off" "yusuke shut up and feel my abs" "holy shit these guys are like rock hard" "right??"
Kuwabara gets glasses and yusuke genuinely thinks it's a bit at first but kuwa is like "man seriously I realized part of the reason school was hard was cos I couldn't make out the words in my books half the time I need these things fr" classic yyh collapse in shock moment
Keiko and Kuwa are there for each other when yusuke goes off doing god knows what in Makai. They know he'll be back but it can be shitty not knowing what he's doing when he'll be back. Kuwabara reassures her that Yusuke does give a shit even when he leaves and Keiko reminds Kuwabara of why he doesn't need to drop everything and join him. He'll be back he'll be back he'll be back.
Kuwabara can only make simple meals Shizuru forced him to learn and Keiko doesn't really cook even tho her parents own a restaurant so when yusuke is in the human world there's cheers and applause "finally I get to eat 🙏🏼" "aren't you guys graduating college soon how are you surviving when I'm not here" "get back in the kitchen boy" "yeah I need another bowl 😌" "im poisoning ur food"
because girls and guys apparently can't just hang out school mates are sure Keiko is dating kuwabara but some think she's with yusuke and others think the two are fighting over her and she just looks at them like they're stupid if anyone ever asks directly
as for Kuwabara nobody knows whether he has a gf or a bf cos sometimes a polite brunette with a sweet smile visits him on campus and they talk at a picnic table (she's seen hitting him sometimes tho) but other times a guy with slicked back hair and devil may care attitude like. swaggers up to kuwa when he's with some classmates and drops a homemade lunch in his lap "you forgot this dumbass" "ahh thanks yusuke you're a life saver 🥺" "just eat your food" inside is the cutest box lunch and yusuke's glare keeps the people kuwa was with from cracking jokes. kuwabara acts like this is very normal
anyway i just think it'd be cool if they hung out and yusuke was equal parts delighted and grumpy about it
#this could be poly tbh i was really just going for a friendship angle but literally either makes sense#I just think Keiko would randomly wanna get fit to put some energy into something besides school and kuwa could help#yusuke is like oh no my smart friend and my strong friend are merging their traits and hanging out w/o me :( by talos...#he doesn't get left out ofc but they do gang up on him sometimes because they think it's hilarious#it's not lost on me the idea of yusuke being into intellectuals considering how smart those 2 are#I was just thinking about this cos I'm writing a kuwameshi fic rn#And it's Keiko pov so it focuses on her relationship with Kuwabara and how she fits into his and yusuke's dynamic#yu yu hakusho#keiko yukimura#yusuke urameshi#kazuma kuwabara#i guess i should tag this#kuwameshi#cos i do look at through that lens#idk if they have a poly ship name tho#important to note that when kuwa thanks yusuke for bringing lunch he's being insufferable and#using the the most over the top sweet voice poking fun at yusuke for basically malewifing himself
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Okay okay okay so Wolf, I am having a thought
You know how Freddy was basically brought back from the brink of death by Captain Marvel in the older comics after being attacked by the biggest loser ever (captain nazi), and he was allowed to live life with new meaning by become CM3? Do you think that ever had effects on him? To be brought back to life fully by his hero after being zapped with the living lighting, like mentally? My little headcanon is that after being given powers, a spark of the living lightning lives inside Freddy's heart, generating his powers and life force, like a little hamster running on a wheel.
Healing and resurrection often come with a price, so what I'm trying to get at here is; Do you think Jason and Freddy could form an unlikely friendship? I think these two could, despite their many differences, get along. Both have survived scenarios by awful villains that meant to kill them, but they came back stronger (with some eldritch horrors). Maybe Jason could even help Freddy pick out a name for himself that isn't derived from Captain Marvel.
Another thing, I'm not sure if I remember this right, but in the Power of Shazam comic run, apparently Freddy had joined the Titans for some time, which is making me think of some cool scenarios where he could join them or Young Justice (not the tv show) in a new story. Because, while Billy and Mary often transform into adult versions of themselves, Freddy transforms into just himself, same age, but with cool powers. It could lead him to having character development, more spotlight, making new friends, and meeting Tim, which indirectly leads to meeting Jason 👀
That is such a cool headcanon! And it gives Freddy his own special connection to the Rock of Eternity and the living lightning that is fundamentally different from how Billy (and the rest of the Marvels) understand it.
And I can totally see Freddy and Jason becoming friends, maybe not initially, but once they have a chance to get to know each other. Out of all of the Marvel fam Freddy is the most likely to understand why Jason does the things he does as Red Hood without judgment. Freddy might eventually even feel comfortable enough to tell him about his own conflicted feelings over what happened to him/his near resurrection. I can see them growing a decent friendship over time that consists of plenty of bickering but a lot of mutual respect.
And Freddy was on the Young Justice team for a while if I remembered correctly, so it wouldn't be a stretch to have him make friends with any iteration of that team. I think that it would even be good for him to grow his personal relationships outside of the Marvel fam (something that is sorely lacking in current comics).
Also I can't help but think that adding in Kit Freeman (aka Kid Eternity aka Freddy’s little brother) to the mix would be excellent. He was also brought back from the dead (with ghost powers!) He'd instantly be able to clock that Jason used to be dead what lingering effects there were because of it. Just food for thought!
#ask me whatever you want y'all#shazam#freddy freeman#captain marvel jr#jason todd#freddy deserves to have friends besides just the marvel fam#like Billy and Mary are his absolute best friends but hes extroverted and charming and makes friendds easily#also there are some fun identity shenanigans that come with the marvel fam's secret identities#freddy would love messing with people like Tim who are trying tk figure it out#kid eternity#kit freeman
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Slept for like eight hours. It was beautiful.
#random personal stuff#this is the one day of the week that I don't have morning obligations and I am going to make the most of it#I have to work this afternoon#probably fine since I'll be the only one there besides a student worker so no Nonsense#and then I have plans with a friend tonight#I kind of hope she'll cancel#for whatever reason a lot of social obligations that would normally be fun haven't been lately#and after this week I'd like some peace and quiet and not needing to perform for anyone#but whatever happens it will be fine
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they weren’t offended. jasper easily slipped between the cracks, moving soundlessly, keeping their head firmly beneath the sand. it was easier to pretend that way, to force away reality and replace it with the dreamland they so desperately craved — a false truth of being human. the shadow of stubble reminded the young wolf that they were nothing of the sort, that they were brutal and a monster and at the mercy of the moon, but on nights like those they could at the very least pretend. “maybe for others,” he sighed, “but it’s a bit different for me. i have sensitivities, sensory problems … it’s hard to try new things. it usually ends a bit like this,” with food wasted or gifted to others, with a heavy sense of disappointment and failure hanging over their head like a dark cloud. being a werewolf certainly didn’t help — one night each month, jasper was thrust into the unknown ; soil in places it shouldn’t be, prey between his teeth, the crack of bones and the fast growing of hair in areas it had never truly belonged. they were still reeling from their last change. every new smell stung their nostrils, every new sound crescendoed through their ears. jasper could almost hear the countdown to the next full moon in his head: fourteen days, twelve hours, seventeen seconds … it meant they were constantly on edge, one eye to the sky, always looking up and never straight ahead. “i would like that. to get a hot chocolate,” their hands knotted together in a nervous hold, “i can brave it so long as you’re there with me, i think. i just don’t want to be on my own.” relationships were something new to jasper, too. an unexplored frontier, unfamiliar territory. they weren’t sure what was right and wrong, what to expect, what to ask for — but he knew that koda was worth the strangeness. “i think he went to play on some of the games, go on some of the rides. i didn’t want to suck all the fun up and make him miss out on anything … ” but he would have liked the vampire there, beside him, holding his hand, keeping him safe. obediently they fell into step next to their new friend — divya — and quickly walked to keep pace. “ring toss and then hot chocolate?”
Three whole damn years in town ? Well, this just proved that maybe was working too much or not paying attention well enough to what happened around her. "Sticking to what you know is nice, but sometimes, it's also good to try new things." She said while accepting the offered food as it shouldn't go to waste if the wolf wasn't going to eat any of it. "Because it might add more items to your list of known things." After all, everything was new until it wasn't anymore. And then, the mention of Eloise brought a smile to the gorgon's lips, as it usually did whenever someone brought the younger witch up. "That's my Ellie. Always making sure everyone is comfortable." She said with a mild nod. "Let me know if you want to brave through the crowds and stop by to get yourself some hot chocolate, then. Or... you can wait somewhere quieter and I'll go get it for you." Normally, Divya wouldn't offer such things to the male-looking kind. She hardly ever trusted them, and so, it made her act slightly hostile towards them. Only slightly. OKay... not hostile, just... not as helpful as she would with women and the femme-presenting ones. "But, if you don't mind my asking, Jasper, like the stone," She smiled, offering the petite wolf a kind, yet pointed look, to let them know she was teasing them, "Where's your boyfriend? Because... if you came here because of him, I would've assumed he would be by your side." But Divya wasn't the most well-versed in relationships. Granted, she knew people were allowed their time alone and their own space, but it just didn't seem fair that the wolf had put themselves so far off their comfort zone, only to be left alone in a place they don't like. "I'm Divya. Let's go earn you some prizes at the ring toss booth, Jasper. A pick me up to make you feel less uncomfortable."
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i’m gonna be so for real, if things don’t start changing for me in good ways i will be disappearing off the face of the earth
#Rasp Rambles#vent#my mental health is already in a shitty state and i am already considering multiple different ways to end my own fucking life#suicide mention#like i’m genuinely hanging on by the thinnest fucking thread only because i have friends that care about me. i don’t want any of them to be#sad about me dying. i’d say the same for my family but i don’t they ever have really given a shit about me so what does it matter.#i’ve been forced to be the perfect; quite child my entire fucking life and that was never good enough. i had to be kind and respectful#even though none of the adults in my family ever really were that to me. and the ones who were didn’t stay that way for long. it truly#sucks so fucking badly that i can’t get away from any of them. i don’t have a job because mental health issues; some physical health issues#and my lack of drivers license and car. i can’t financially support myself. i never get to fucking leave the house and go anywhere but the#store or my grandparent’s house with my mom and sister. i have ONE irl friend who i’m not even sure considers me a friend because#we haven’t gotten to hang out much since i graduated in 2023. i have practically no fucking support system in the physical world.#i don’t get to do fun things i enjoy that aren’t internet related besides drawing. but artblock and general depression are doing their#damn best to prevent me from even enjoying the creative process at all. one may think its difficult to feel lonely when you’re living in a#house with at least one other person but its fully fucking possible apparently. for me at least. i really wish my mom would actually get me#a therapist or psychiatrist i can see in person but we all know that’ll never fucking happen because again; she doesn’t fucking care enough#to make any actually helpful attempts to get me medicated for whatever the fucks going on in this stupid head of mine.#sorry for being incredibly fucking depressed and mad at 3am. it will happen again unfortunately for all of us.
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just wasted so much time going through that article thats like “1000 books you may have actually read” that gets passed around on here every once in a while and um. the list kinda sucks
#like i know 1000 books is a lot and there’s bound to be some that anyone looking through it would side eye#however. there should not be one malcom gladwell book in there let alone several#like imo those lists at least give the impression that they’re more literature geared so in that case there shouldn’t be any self help#books in there at all. and few ‘airport books’ a la colleen hoover#like one colleen hoover book is like okay whatever. she’s popular. but there should not be that many#also not one poetry book in sight (besides shel silversteen which i’m only kind of counting bc we all read his books as children)#children’s lit is fine imo. you aren’t likely to have read much else on these lists if you didn’t read as a child. it’s different#it’s also fun to check off books you loved as a child in these kinds of lists! it’s like oh hey that’s my friend i know him!!#also like. you’re not gonna put anything by shirley jackson or joyce carol oates in there??? toni morrison? mary oliver?? octavia butler??#HELLO this list sucks#sorry for sounding like a pretentious asshole but unfortunately i have a degree and a half on this shit so. i AM a pretentious asshole#sometimes at the very least#anyway maybe i’ll make my OWN list of 1000 books you may have read (already acknowledging that i will most definitely not have read#everything i put on there!!!) okay sorry i’ll shut up i need to go to bed#btw my score on that list was something like 83 and i consider myself a fairly well read person and am like. always looking to improve upon#my personal scope of the world through reading. idk if that makes sense but i think it does okay goodNIGHT
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i'm such a greenpilled dark jade maxxer but i think ive made people associate me with blue a bit too much. my icon? blue. my blog? blue. my choice of board game pieces? blue. my reason for wanting to be player one in most games? having a blue character. why i want to play as player 2 in super mario for wii? blue toad.
#why is my online and game presence so blue#irl im out there with my green bed and green eyes and green emotional support water bottle and dreams of more#green furniture and my green phone theme and ok. i mostly wear black but most of my clothes that are of a color are green#when i was a kid i always saved these colored pencils of a specific shade of green (dark jade) bc they were so pretty to me#i never said it was my favorite color bc it was so special to me it was a secret favorite color#besides i didnt care for all green as much as thay shade as a kid#now however? i think id say green if someone asked me my fave color#you guys know the post about not having a fave color and someone guessing ita yellow and that becoming ur fave?#i think a similar thing happened to me#some years ago i wa shopping with a friend and she suggested i try something green bc itd match my eyes#and before that moment i was still in my dark jade green is my secret fave color phase#and i also thought green would look awful on me bc im so red (bc of acne. and getting flushed easy. i dont think my undertone is red.)#but it didnt! and the friend complimented me on how much it made my eyes pop out#and then i started looking at green things a bit more and it kind of escalated from there yknow#its fun when something that doesnt mean anything (in a neutral way) to someone. just a one off thought. makes something click in ur brain#leevi talks#man idk what iim even talking abiut here im so incredibly sleepy rn gn everyone
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A Liturgy of Surviving
Scarlett always wanted to be like her mother, and maybe in another world she could have been. If the war never happened, she could have grown softer instead of sharper. She could have curbed her temper, married well, and been received in respectable homes all her days. Maybe, if it hadn’t been for the war, Scarlett O’Hara could have lived out her days in genteel artifice, just like Ellen before her.
Maybe. Maybe not. If you asked her, Scarlett would say that the question was irrelevant. “God’s nightgown!” she would exclaim. “Don’t ask me what could have been. The war happened and that’s that.”
I won’t think about that now.
The day after Scarlett’s world ended, she swore an oath that she would never be hungry again.
She woke in pain. Her muscles ached and her joints creaked. She was nineteen, but she felt like she had a hundred years weighing her body down. Morning light slanted through the window and her head ached with the moonshine liquor that she’d downed the night before. From another room, she heard an infant crying.
She passed through the dining room without eating, pausing only briefly beside her grief-ravaged father. She found Pork on the porch shelling nuts. The sun was up. Scarlett O'Hara drew herself tall and began to marshal her troops.
Melly and her sisters were still infirm, so they were useless for now. Mammy could tend them, and Pork and Prissy were to round up the livestock. Dilcey to Macintosh, herself to Twelve Oaks; perhaps they’d find food. Yes, I know. I’ll worry about that tomorrow. Now get going.
Those days as the war staggered to its end were some of the longest of her life. In between them, Scarlett would collapse into bed and rub the welts on her feet with clumsy fingers. Sometimes she’d picture Ellen and all her gentle admonitions to kindness and refinement, and she’d say aloud to the walls, “What happened to me? What am I doing?”
She didn’t dwell on the question, but somehow, she always knew the answer. “I’m doing what I must,” she would answer herself. “I’m surviving.”
People didn’t talk back to Scarlett anymore. They were all afraid of her sharp tongue, of the new person who walked in her body. This Scarlett bullied and cajoled until everyone obeyed her, and inevitably her orders were to work. She was all edges; any softness that she’d once possessed had been sanded away splitting rails and picking cotton. Good, she thought. Let them fear me, if it keeps us all standing.
I’ll think about it tomorrow.
Scarlett was sixteen when the war began: sixteen in green muslin, fearless and unencumbered. She had her mother’s slim waist and her father’s square jaw, but her clear green eyes were her own.
She was sixteen when she married Charles Hamilton and lost him, seventeen when she bore his child and draped herself in black crepe. She got Melly and Wade in the bargain, but she didn’t want either of them. She wanted Ashley. She wanted to dance! She wanted, she wanted. She wanted Scarlett O’Hara back.
At nineteen years old, Scarlett survived the destruction of her whole world. She could have cried for the loss of her girlhood, for her old self long gone with the soft hands and dancing slippers, but what good would it have done? Curled up in her childhood bed at Tara, Scarlett didn’t cry. Instead, she folded in on herself, knees tucked up to her chest, and tried not to feel her muscles aching. She would have to get up again tomorrow, no matter how badly her shoulders still hurt.
She had strong shoulders, Scarlett O’Hara. That was maybe the most important thing about her. At any time, at any age, her shoulders could bear whatever they were given. “I’m surviving,” she would say each morning when she rose. A stranger’s freckled face greeted her in the mirror, but Scarlett only squared her small thin shoulders, breathed in, took one step and then another.
Tomorrow, when I can stand it.
Calluses form like this: repeated pressure or friction is applied to the skin, most often of the hand or the foot. The outer layer, which is made of dead cells, begins to be retained rather than flaking off normally. The dead cells accumulate, forming hard layers sometimes hundreds of cells thick.
They form like this: you use your skin. The shell of hardness around it slowly thickens.
I can stand anything now.
The day after Rhett left, Scarlett packed up Wade and Ella and she once again drove the long road home to Tara. She pushed her way past Suellen at the threshold, exchanged brief pleasantries with Will, and then fell into her old bed as she’d done so many times before.
The next morning found Scarlett basking in the slanting yellow light that struck the porch from the east. Her eyes were fixed on the fields beyond and there was a devilish look on her face.
When Rhett came back—and he would come back, he had promised he would—he would find her here at Tara, where she was strongest. “He liked when I was strong,” Scarlett said to herself. That was something she’d always known, for all that she’d been blind to the true dimensions of it.
Day after day, Scarlett rose and moved through Tara’s halls. She ate her breakfasts in the place where she’d faced down the Yankee army, sorted through figures where she’d once debated with Melanie over whether they ought to risk sending Pork out on the horse to look for food. Twenty times a day, she walked past the place at the base of the stairs where she’d shot her deserter dead. Here, in these halls, she had made her greatest stands.
She’d stood more rigidly then, threadbare and starving and uncertain. She’d come to the end of herself, only to find that she had wells of strength hidden deeper than she knew. Her hands were calloused and dirty. What else could she do?
I’ll never be hungry again.
It’s easy to view Scarlett as hard and amoral. Even those closest to her would not have contested that characterization. Perhaps Melly would have argued, but then, Melly always saw the good in everyone. Scarlett killed and she stole and she schemed and she cheated, and she did it all in cold blood. What a selfish, conniving bitch, you might say.
It’s easy to forget Scarlett’s compassion. When she beat that poor horse to keep it trudging the long road home to Tara, she regretted hurting a tired animal. Her concern for Melanie, her friendship for Will Benteen, her joy when Rhett made her laugh: these were all true and genuine.
Didn’t Scarlett love her father and mother? Didn’t she grieve to see her friends and neighbors ruined by war? Scarlett O’Hara risked her life to save Charlie’s sword for Wade to inherit, and she built her mills for him and Ella both.
None of this negates the ruthless things she did in the name of survival, but it does begin to explain them. Scarlett made herself hard when hard was what she needed to be. She determined to live without reservation, without softness and with little kindness. Rhett called her cruel, and maybe he was right. But Melly also called her sacrificial and devoted, and maybe she was right too.
No, nor any of my kin.
On that road home to Tara, Scarlett once said, “If the horse is dead, I will curse God and die too.” Someone in the Bible had done just that—cursed God and died. Scarlett remembered feeling like that person, a despair of Biblical magnitude.
But the horse was alive, and so Scarlett did not die. Later, she thanked God that her knees still had the strength to support her, that her neck was still strong enough to hold her head high. Scarlett was not Job’s wife, nor even Job himself. She was Rahab, who escaped the destruction of Jericho, who saved her whole household and survived.
“What a fast trick,” said the Old Guard when she stole Frank Kennedy away from Suellen. No, Scarlett could never be Job. She was Jacob, the trickster and supplanter.
Just a few more days for to tote the weary load.
Scarlett was easily provoked into courage; that was one of the first things that Rhett learned about her. A few insults, a pointed comment, and Scarlett lifted her chin and flounced off to prove just how brave she could be. She shed her crepe years early, and to Halifax with anyone who objected.
Rhett did that same thing to her on the awful day that Atlanta burned. He insulted her and laughed at her, and when Scarlett spat, “I’m not afraid,” it was true. Her hands, which had moments ago been shaking too badly to hold anything, were steady now, and anger had crowded all the fear out of her voice.
Rhett kept needling her all the way out of the city, until they reached the Rough and Ready where he left her. The banter kept her sharp. As long as her eyes were flashing in indignation, she hardly noticed the fire.
Even after Rhett left, his jabs stayed with her. “What would Rhett say if he knew I couldn’t do this?” spurred her back into action more times than she would ever admit. It was a petty kind of courage, and it felt smaller than the great, soaring motivation that came with thoughts of Tara, of the O’Hara name and Irish pride and red earth, but sometimes petty courage was enough to bridge the gap between strength and exhaustion.
He gave her something to hold onto, something to ground her, and even Rhett only halfway understood what that meant. I want you at your best, he never told her, but he pulled her into it by taffeta ribbons and witticisms. As the years rolled by, she rose to meet him. They swapped sharp words and insults, him always claiming to know her and her shouting, “You don’t know half!”
One day on the jostling ride out to her mills, Scarlett told Rhett about the fire that the Yankees set in Tara’s kitchen. “I’m not afraid of fire anymore,” she declared with something like pride, and Rhett remembered goading her past the flames the night Atlanta burned. “I beat it out with my skirts, and then Melly had to beat me out when my back caught,” she went on. “Now I’m not afraid of anything but hunger.”
I don’t want you to fear anything in all the world, Rhett didn’t say. Once they were married, he laughed at her appetite and teased her, “Don’t scrape the plate, Scarlett. I’m sure there’s more in the kitchen.”
No matter, ‘twill never be light.
After the war, Rhett had his millions. Ashley had his honor. Melly had the Association for the Beatification of the Graves of Our Glorious Dead. Scarlett held a ball of red clay in her fist and whispered, “I have this.”
Her father built Tara from nothing and he loved those acres like they could love him back. He had come to Georgia a poor immigrant boy and he had won that red earth. Whatever Gerald could do, his daughter could do too: of this she was certain. This land, this firm red clay on which she stood, was both her battlefield and her prize; her birthright and her hallowed ground. She gripped it tight with all the passion of a lover. She longed for its rolling fields on cold nights in Atlanta, sleeping beside Frank Kennedy.
“Yes, I have this,” and she let the dirt run between her fingers and lodge beneath her nails. Melly had Ashley and Ashley his senseless honor. Scarlett had Tara.
I’ve still got this.
When she rode out in her buggy with her lap robe pulled up to her bosom, Scarlett heard how people whispered. She felt indignant about it the first time, and the second time she worried what Ellen would have thought. The third time, she decided not to care.
She still complained to Rhett about the whispering as he was holding the reins one afternoon. He didn’t laugh at her, just looked sideways from the road with his dark eyes and nodded like he understood. “Be different and be damned!” Rhett said, and his tone was like a soldier who’d heard the bugle. It was so strange, how Scarlett could tell him all the worst things about her and he would always answer back like they were medals instead of secret shames.
Most of the city was in mourning, but Scarlett wore colors. She pilfered the store’s inventory in search of bright green, washed and mended her curtain dress as many times as it would stand, and when the money came she wore gowns of emerald, blush, indigo, and scarlet. Let them stare, she thought. See if I care.
At twenty-two, Scarlett rode up to Pittypat’s in the evenings, long after Frank had come home from the store, and she felt condemned. To the well-bred folks of Atlanta, she was as bad as a Scallawag. But sometimes, when she was alone, Scarlett ran her hands beneath the lap robe and hoped that Rhett was wrong about children and grandchildren, that the child she was carrying would understand one day. I hope you’re nothing like Frank, she thought. I hope you have shoulders like mine.
I’ll never be hungry again.
“It’s no use, Scarlett. You can’t scrub out the past,” said Rhett when at last he came to Tara. “You can’t take back the last ten years, no matter how you’ve come — to appreciate my charms.”
“You think I don’t know that?” Scarlett snapped. “There’s never any going back. Not ever. But Rhett—” she reached for his hand. “I love you, and at last we understand each other. We can build something out of that.”
They argued about it until Rhett left again, fuming and bitter, his Panama hat pulled low over his face. Scarlett made an unannounced visit to Charleston the next month. “I was thinking,” she suggested, “That we might sell the Peachtree Street house.”
Scarlett knew all the words for making men love her, so long as she understood what it was that they wanted. The Tarleton twins had wanted merry excitement; Charles had wanted to feel important and Frank had wanted to feel like a strong, successful man. Ashley had wanted someone braver and better than he was, and he’d found it in Melanie without having to risk himself on Scarlett. Scarlett had never understood what it was Rhett wanted, but she did now. Why, it’s always been my love he wants! So Scarlett spoke the right words, and this time she meant them.
“You were right when you said that we’re alike. Only—you’ve always known about me, whereas I’m just starting to know you. Will you tell me about that knife fight in California again? About the sail boat you won at cards?”
“You know those stories,” clipped Rhett. “You don’t need to hear them again.” So Scarlett went downstairs and pried the stories out of his mother instead.
The house on Peachtree Street sold within the month, snatched up by some Carpetbagger who wanted it for a hotel. Rhett traveled to Mexico, and returned to find Scarlett back at Tara preparing for spring planting.
“What do the women wear in Mexico?” she asked him, leaning on the porch railing in the slanting light. “What is your favorite place you’ve ever traveled?”
Rhett indulged her in brief, but then abruptly he chuckled and shook his head. “I know what you’re doing, you little minx.”
“Yes,” said Scarlett. “Of course you do.”
Tomorrow, oh tomorrow!
The clay soil of Georgia is red from iron oxides. It’s red the way rust is red, the way blood is red. If a blister splits open and your blood falls on the ground, that iron-red soil will just swallow it up. You can bleed and bleed, and the stuff in your blood will always be one with the stuff of the soil.
When cotton and vegetables sprout from the ground, it’s easy to believe they grew from your very own blood, and that your own sweat and tears watered them.
Never look back.
“We women were soldiers too,” Melanie said once. Scarlett didn’t respect her yet—at least, not consistently—but this might have been one of the moments where she first looked at Melly and thought not that her heart was soft and timid, but that it was a sword.
“We never expected to be ��� or at least I didn’t.” She looked around the circle of ladies, at India and Fanny, until her eyes came to rest on Scarlett at last. “We were children then. We all imagined the world far simpler than it was.”
Melly, India, Fanny, Scarlett. These women had all been girls together. They knew one another at seven, twelve, fifteen, swaddled in silks and trying to seem more grown-up than their playmates. They’d competed for beaus and Scarlett had mostly won, except where Ashley Wilkes was concerned. They had lived through the war together. Now, Scarlett sat among them on Melly’s front porch and tried to remember if she’d ever in her life felt like one of them.
For Christmas, Melanie gave Scarlett a small book of poetry. Scarlett never read it, except for the one verse which Melly had marked with a green ribbon. She bit back the urge to sigh when she undid the wrapping, but Melly pointed out the bookmark and said, “This one made me think of you, dear.”
Scarlett didn’t like to think of it now, but once she’d been sixteen in green muslin, confident that dimples and a clear complexion were the only weapons she’d ever need. She had been a child, but that child had not died when Atlanta burned. The belle of Clayton County was not in the grave with all the boys who’d never come riding home from war. Scarlett was alive. She was right here.
“What is a dead girl but a shadowy ghost/ Or a dead man's voice but a distant and vain affirmation/Like dream words most? / Therefore I will not speak of the undying glory of women. / I will say you were young and straight and your skin fair/ And you stood in the door and the sun was a shadow of leaves on your shoulders/ And a leaf on your hair—"
Scarlett came home from her mills in the gray evening and she made her way back to the Wilkes’s ramshackle front porch. She left her buggy feeling condemned and she sat with the other ladies feeling alienated, but all the same she couldn’t bring herself not to go. The war was over, and these were the survivors. They were through fighting, hung up on glory, but Scarlett still hadn’t holstered her guns.
“We were soldiers,” said Melanie, and in her heart Scarlett added, “Some of us still are.”
I won’t let them lick me.
Supposing that Ashley had married her. Perhaps the sight of her in green makes him brave enough to shed his veneer of honor and say, “Yes, you’re right, I can’t live without you.” It’s a minor scandal when he casts Melanie off in her favor, but not for long. The war is beginning and besides, good men have made themselves fools for Scarlett O’Hara before. By the time the soldiers march away, the scandal is all but forgotten in favor of the fine figure they cut as they embrace at the depot: Ashley so brave in his uniform, his young wife radiant as she clutches him.
Ashley sends her long, meandering letters full of philosophical musings. Scarlett reads them uncomprehending and sends back missives full of I love yous. She kisses them when she mails them, sometimes with a Hail Mary for her husband’s safety.
Rhett doesn’t notice this Scarlett at Twelve Oaks, and so he’s caught off guard when he hears the young Mrs. Wilkes say something blunt and scathing at the Bazaar. He chuckles to himself in delight and later he asks her to dance, and of course Scarlett simpers and agrees, and it’s a merry night. But Rhett doesn’t come back to Atlanta for the rest of the war.
This Scarlett leaves for Macon with the rest of the women when the Yankees come to Atlanta; after all, she has no Melly to keep her in the city during the siege. She takes Ashley’s child with her, and it’s in Macon that he finds her after the war. He waxes poetic about the Old Days, the Horrors of War and Götterdämmerungs and the like. He looks at her with sad, tired eyes and Scarlett says yes, I heard you the first time. But what are we going to do?
Twelve Oaks is razed. They go to Tara. Ashley tries his hand at farming, but it’s Scarlett who manages to pick and plant and organize while Ashley’s fumbling attempts at working with his hands yield scant success. His heart isn’t in it, which infuriates Scarlett. C’mon, get up and fight! She looks into the tired face of the man she loved so ruinously at sixteen and wonders what she ever thought was so noble about him.
When taxes come due there’s no way to pay. What’s more, Ashley doesn’t even try. It’s here that Scarlett breaks with her husband. Between Ashley and Tara, it’s Tara every time.
So Scarlett bullies her husband into calling old debts in from a few impoverished friends and when that isn’t enough, she goes to see the tax assessor dressed in green velvet and makes some very personal insinuations about Mr. Jonas Wilkerson. From there, Scarlett bullies her one-time-beloved and does as she pleases, and Ashley has to live with the fact that it’s his wife who provides for the family. In every world, it is Scarlett O’Hara who keeps Ashley Wilkes alive after the war.
His pride lays down in the dirt and dies. Scarlett Wilkes shakes her head bitterly and plants more seed in her red, red earth.
Supposing Scarlett could have imagined all this. What do you think she would say? Perhaps in her youth she would have cherished the idea, but the hard-eyed Scarlett who emerged after the war would have only leveled her small shoulders and said, “What does it matter what would have happened? I’ll think about it later.”
There but for a lot of gumption am I.
The day after Bonnie died, Scarlett called for the buggy and went to her store. Rhett took this as proof that Scarlett had never really loved the little girl, that she was devoid of maternal affection as he’d always suspected, but Scarlett was grieving in her own way. She threw out two uncut bolts of blue velvet: expensive fabric over which she’d have upbraided a clerk to hell and back if he’d wasted even a few inches.
It was true that Scarlett had never wanted any of her children when she’d carried them. She had not felt joy or love or any of the feelings that other women described when first she saw them. What she did feel, in the moments after Dr. Meade placed each child in her arms, was a fierce surge of protectiveness. She was certain that she would work and sacrifice and even die for her children, if need be. They were her blood, her flesh, her kin.
Scarlett had hated pregnancy each time it happened to her. She hated feeling large and lumbering, hated the way that her tiny waist bloated and grew until even her modified dresses didn’t fit right. She hated the inconvenience of morning sickness, the limitations on what she could do, the necessity of seclusion as delivery drew near. It was nine months of hardship and frustration capped off with many long minutes of excruciating pain.
Bonnie had died in an instant. She’d been flying towards the hurdle and then, half a breath later, she’d been gone. Standing in the back of the store with two bolts of blue velvet before her, Scarlett swallowed back tears that Rhett would never see. It wasn’t right that a child who’d taken her so much time and effort to bring into the world could be gone from it so quickly.
When she returned to the house a few hours later, Rhett had locked himself in the bedroom with Bonnie’s tiny body. Scarlett paused for a moment outside the door, but then she squared her shoulders and kept walking.
Just a few more days for to tote the weary load.
Scarlett had a habit of humming “My Old Kentucky Home” while she worked. Splitting wood, planting and picking cotton, driving between her mills, keeping the books—even sewing. The song was a thoughtless thing, an instinctual thing. She hummed it the same way a person might worry lips between teeth or tear at nails.
She repeated the words again and again until her heart pulsed to their rhythm. Just a few more days for to tote the weary load. I’ll think about it tomorrow, when I can stand it. Tomorrow, tomorrow. No matter, ‘twill never be light. I’ll never be hungry again. No, nor any of my kin. I’ll never be hungry again. They were a mantra: something to hold onto when the whole breadth of her world had narrowed to a single point. A refrain. A liturgy of surviving.
Just a few more steps
Rhett loved Scarlett and it was terrifying. He feared that she would treat him like one of her country beaus: a lovely toy to play with and to tear to ribbons when she was done. He was afraid, so he hid his heart behind his impressive poker face and said “I want you” instead of “I love you.” He called her “pet” instead of “sweetheart.”
Scarlett loved Rhett and it was slow. He brought her bonnets and bonbons and Scarlett thought, “Why, it’s almost like I was in love with him!” He came to help her the day Atlanta burned, and Scarlett thought that she’d like to stay in his arms forever. When he chauffeured her to the mills, she thought that he was the only person in the world to whom she could tell the truth.
"You never told me you loved me, you know," Scarlett said the next time she visited Charleston. "I never knew. That's not to say you were wrong about me - about what I would have done if you had said something. But you should have been brave enough to risk it all the same."
Rhett closed his eyes for a moment and his mask slipped away. It was doing that more and more these days.
"But I did tell you — once."
"I think I would have remembered that," said Scarlett, pursing her lips.
"Ah. ‘It is far off; and rather like a dream than an assurance that my remembrance warrants.’ I suppose my humble confession was the least of your worries that day."
Scarlett wrinkled her nose. "What?"
"The day Atlanta burned, my dear."
After a long moment, Scarlett gave a little gasp which turned into a sigh as it ended. "Oh. That's right, you did then, didn't you?" She shook her head. "Rhett, I do believe you have the worst timing of any person I know."
As God is my witness
The day she married Charles, she wore Ellen’s cream-colored silk gown, aired out in a hurry from the chest where it had been sitting since the O’Haras married back in 1846. She couldn’t breathe for how tight her laces were —sixteen inches, like Ellen’s waist was when the dress was purchased— and perhaps that was a good thing. Scarlett was light-headed throughout the ceremony and she scarcely remembered it afterwards.
The day she decided to have Frank, it was raining hard. Scarlett left the jail in sodden velvet and was grateful for the drops falling on her cheeks to disguise the tears. It was sunny the day of the wedding, but she scarcely noticed that. Afterwards, when she thought of marrying Frank, Scarlett would always remember the rain.
There was a fine mist over everything the day she got Rhett back for good. Scarlett was wearing her work clothes when he came riding up to Tara; she’d been walking the cotton fields that day, overseeing the progress of the crop. They were both a little damp when he kissed her.
I’ll never be hungry again.
O’Haras and Robillards had always known how to dig their nails in, and by God, Scarlett was both. Her namesakes had long ago fought for their own plots of Irish earth; had survived and died and been hanged fighting to hold onto it. All Scarlett’s forebears, her folk, had left crescent-moon imprints on all that was theirs when it was finally pried from her hands. Scarlett gripped her little ball of clay and felt her nails dig into the heels of her hands.
She was her father’s hot-tempered daughter, but she had her mother’s steel-hewn spine. All the years of her life, she never saw Ellen Robillard O’Hara rest her back against a chair. When Scarlett’s own time came, she held herself every bit as straight as her mother: she didn’t rest or lean, just stood and stood.
Maybe this is what she was always made for. Her green eyes weren’t for charming young men, they were for seeing dresses in curtains. Her hands were never supposed to be soft; they were meant for digging in the red dirt. Even her lips—Rhett was wrong, they weren’t meant for kissing. Scarlett’s lips were as sharp as the words that she spoke when she wasn’t afraid what anyone thought. They were meant to draw blood.
She had been sharp all her life, even when her edges were carefully concealed in layers of satin. Scarlett was not made to be soft; her core held no gentleness. She could not pretend otherwise. All she could do was stand straight, and hold up her tired old shoulders like they were the strongest thing in the world.
I’ll think about it tomorrow.
One day, at the Butler home in Charleston, Rhett taught Scarlett how to play poker, and subsequently how to cheat. They were still playing hours later, counting cards and hiding them in sleeves and making all kinds of ridiculous bets on losing hands. Just as she was taking off her right earbob to call, the thought rose to Scarlett’s mind unbidden: “What on earth are we doing here?” And just as quickly, there was the answer. “We’re living.”
At the end of this most recent road home, weary and damp from running through the fog, Scarlett found her way back into Rhett’s arms. In the evenings she listened to his stories and witticisms, and late at night she listened to the sound of his breathing. I will not speak of undying glory, she thought. Rhett was still here, and so was she. They were both still here.
Scarlett took off her left earbob too, for good measure. “I’ll raise you,” she said. “I have a good feeling about this hand.” There was still an ace hidden up her sleeve, but if Rhett noticed it he didn’t say anything.
They survived together. They built something new. There is always profit to be made in building things, and these two were nothing if not industrious.
After all, tomorrow is another day.
#i am fully aware that none of you followed me for gone with the wind lol#that said- it's one of my all time favorite books#like. in a dead heat with narnia#i've wanted to write some sort of character study-ish thing for gwtw for just about as long as i've had this blog#and having just reread it last week i decided it was time#had a lot of fun messing around with style here#is the prose a little self indlugent? absolutely#but it was fun#if lucy pevensie is half of my heart scarlett o'hara is the other#they absolutely would not get along#but that's beside the point#(actually you know who actually might mesh pretty well with scarlett? eowyn. probably not great friends or anything#but at least a nod of respect)#to tote the weary load#leah stories#literature makes us more human#pontifications and creations#also for the record this is the most i'm willing to speculate about what happens post- novel#the sequels are all trash and unlike with say Susan i'm very much content to say#'I believe in Scarlett's ability to succeed. she'd gonna be fine'#and apart from that let the ending be bittersweet and hopeful#trying to fill it in much beyond really broad strokes is a totally futile endeavor#and i have no idea why people bother trying#'tomorrow is another day' deserves to be the last word in scarlett's story#that is all
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