#and I really wanted to play around with poly QPRs
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limboneto · 5 months ago
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Now that all the relevant characters have been brought up I must scream from the rooftops--
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An excerpt from my notes app the other day
This started out as a silly fun "What if" because of Tomodachi Life. No seriously 😂😅
Eidal and Vena were supposed to get together in that game, but Eidal ended up with someone else and was madly in love with them so I decided "Ugh fine, then I guess... Vena and Mae" (cuz Kana wasn't added at the time) and bro... Vena and Mae being so cute and lovey with each other had me go "Haha wonder what that'd actually be like with the actual characters"
...... and I absolutely love it???? All four work really well in my mind??? I'm????
Eidal × Vena × Kana was already gonna be my goal, but adding Mae??? Further adds some angst, wholesomeness, fun shenanigans, and so much more I can't 😭👏🏻💕✨️💜
Eidal and Vena are the types to have things bottled up at the beginning of the story. Each for different reasons, but they're both quite reserved, though Vena even more than Eidal at first. Eidal starts falling for Vena first, but both get feelings for the other over time but just refuse to say anything until WAY later because they both believe there's no way the other feels the same (despite both having access to abilities that let's them see how someone is feeling)
They're absolute blushing dorks about it and Tilo watches the whole time like 😑 just wanting them to spit it out already because jeez it's awkward
Vena and Eidal are also incapable of sleeping (literally), so most nights are spent relaxing in each other's presence if they each haven't gotten stuck with either Mae or Kana falling asleep on them/their laps
Vena and Mae both bond over feeling immense guilt in the parts they've each played in the plot, and both help each other heal over time. Each starting out believing they don't deserve love or even friends but assuring each other that they absolutely do
They're very sweet and gentle with each other but still have fun joking around eventually
Kana and Mae are both mischievous shits together and Mae enjoys helping Kana with some of the crazier inventions but also the general ones. They're both the types to talk about techy stuff and a lot of it goes over Eidal and Vena's heads. Kana and Mae also ground each other really well
Eidal and Mae start off as mainly friends or queer platonic, but get a lot closer as time goes on and trust each other completely even before a relationship is established with them and the others. Even after finding out Mae's involvement with some big events/characters, Eidal doesn't care and knows she was forced into her role
I may or may not have a random scene in my head where Eidal is dying in Mae's arms but assures her nobody hates her for what she's done and says that they trust her no matter what lifetime they're in
Once Eidal let's loose later on and feels more comfortable being a bit more carefree and open they are just as chaotic as Kana and Mae some days. Vena loves them each dearly but it's that meme of the person struggling to hold the leashes of 2 other people but also add Mae now
Kana and Vena both bond over having shitty divine parents and what that was like growing up. Vena with a parent that leaned into the whole "I made you so you listen to me I'm all powerful no I'd never make a mistake ever you're just a bad kid" and Kana's parent being very overbearing and affectionate but also high energy and messed up and possibly telling Kana she may have to take them (the Gods) all out some day. No pressure. These two like to have long calm talks and often can go well into the night until Kana drifts off to sleep
Kana and Eidal having grown up together and Kana telling the others how messed up Eidal's family is and the others immediately being ready to throw down upon visiting. While Eidal is also a Godling, they've never met their divine parent but Kana assures them that's for the better and they are inclined to agree. These two mesh really well and bonded over childhood
Anyways thank you if you read this far! Kinda just dumping my thoughts here but I've been having so much fun thinking of this group!
Have a bonus doodle from almost midnight last night!
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theauthorkiwi · 6 days ago
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i told myself i was gonna shut up about cdiyw but i decidedly cannot, so here’s pt2 (find pt1 here)
same cws and preface applies, but they’re more heavily discussed, along with topics of self-harm, and mentions of derealization/dissociation/depersonalization too
update: interlude/pt 2.5? here
okay first before we go back to the hcs/universe i talked about in part one, i’m gonna go on more of a tangent so bear with me
i truly do really love both clarissa x mark and clarissa x amanda (i’m a multishipper, sue me) which is why i tend to argue a lot for things like polyamory (plus polyamory can’t ever catch a break so i always love shooting characters with the poly beam) 
but someone in my reblogs made a really good point regarding the need for more unrequited love stories to stay unrequited love and absolutely +1 to everything they said
it’s personally an aspect to these characters i would love to see explored more because clarissa on first viewing of cdiyw struck me as extremely straight or at the very least heavily repressed in her queerness so as an angst lover i think making straight clarissa and lesbian amanda the dynamic is really interesting, and it’d let you explore that quintessential queer experience of an unreciprocated crush that’s rarely depicted in media
it’d also be a very interesting character study of how the two respond to these feelings and how their relationship evolves with that understanding, and depending on your direction there’s definitely ways to make a satisfactory happy ending that doesn’t involve the two getting together 
or you could just write pure yearning for 10k words and i’d read it, that works too 
also if you’re into the unrequited love angle, you could definitely write it in the sense that clarissa views amanda as her chosen sister, while amanda sees clarissa as her entire world, and play with how relationships can mean different things to each respective person in that relationship because of their lived experiences
continuing with the reblog they mentioned aro amanda and i absolutely need to talk about that because as someone who is arospec i see literally all three of them as arospec coded like amanda feels much more fully aromantic or grayromantic, mark i place more demiromantic, and clarissa i feel very mixed about but i really love playing around with cupioromantic for her (though the label isn’t a perfect match and would probably be compounded with a few others in the arospec umbrella)
like there is something very yummy to me about clarissa who like you could write as a standard one-note boy obsessed girl, being actually someone who has a very complicated and messy relationship to the idea of love itself thanks to her dad leaving (aka make my girl more jaded please and thank you) but has always aspirationally looked up and wanted to be in love yet she can’t escape this substantial feeling of being trapped that she gets from even the idea of a standard heterosexual marriage 
mix that all in with personal insecurity of not being someone easy to love, societal expectations regarding romance, the religious vibe that the setting of cdiyw seems to have, her guilt regarding her mother, personal fears over marriage and motherhood because of her father, and that like internalized without romance you’ll never be actually loved or enough so just conform belief and you’ve created the character ever
(i will underscore that aro/arospec can be and is for a lot of people an extremely empowering label, and aromantic people deserve representation that lets them be totally comfortable in that identity, just as much as we deserve representation that also explores the more negative parts of finding yourself because diversity is always a strength more than it is a hindrance)
also, just as like a putting it out there, i really need someone to indulge me in a qpr dynamic between all three of them and as a big lover of emphasising friendships in media, i definitely want to argue for more amanda clarissa mark friendship exploration and the complicated found family dynamic i talked about in my first post 
okay now going back to the canon i created in pt1, i’m here with a way too long exploration of these characters (yes i’ve somehow found more to say about them)
mark 
first okay i’ve seen some talk regarding why mark likes diy and i have some thoughts 
mark, thanks to his shitty fucking home life, definitely grew up very independent and often left alone, plus i highly doubt that mark’s father is the type to welcome strangers into his house in order to repair stuff, or the type to put a lot of care towards house maintenance generally, or the type to use money that can be spent on alcohol for like responsible stuff
so with these two factors i can see like a young mark, on a day his father is out for work/drinking, who’s sick of a broken sink or something in the house, so he decides to take his father’s toolbox that probably hasn’t been touched in years, and just fucking fixes it himself, and it’s kinda like shitty but it works and it’s something he did with his own hands and like just that sensation of a kid constantly wanting love and external validation finding a way to be proud of himself intrinsically is something i think could be deeply beautiful to explore
plus there’s definitely a layer of paranoia and fear you could play with of mark worried the longer it takes to fix that his father will come home and find him like this and get pissy over it
but it doesn’t happen, and mark just looks over his handiwork and for once feels like he has some kind of place in the house, some sort of value to his existence, even if it’s something kinda small and simple
and then there’s the element of his father’s reaction, i can imagine like in the went out to drink version that his father doesn’t even notice it’s fix cause he had never really paid enough attention to the house to know it was broken in the first place
but i like the work angle almost better, of him having complained about the shitty sink once while hungover, and then coming home sober enough to notice the change, and for once, having some sort of approval towards mark, and it’s not quite being proud of him, or even respect, or some sort of twisted form of love, but it’s enough for his son who’s so desperate for some recognition, that even a silent quiet gleam in his father’s eyes is worth more than anything 
i think this hobby would continue from there as some sort of desperate chase for that look again, some acknowledgement that his father doesn’t just see him as a reminder of a dead woman, but it doesn’t happen, and overtime it slowly morphs into something more real, and for himself
like i can imagine mark spending his paycheck from his first job and putting the money into fixing stuff around the house and like bit by bit he’s reclaiming space for himself (if you’re into the hc of mark’s dad being a cop, the job being a more creative one and breaking away from his father’s field would be really interesting, and a fun contrast of like something his father disapproves of going towards the only action mark can do which isn’t to his father something worth being mocked)
there’s also the religious angle to it, of physically making something like you are your own god, and through creation he has something tangible and physical to believe in instead of just words and preaching 
plus like mark would definitely have a desire for control too, and there’s nothing quite like making something with your own hands that lets you be in control
also i think it’s probably one of his few healthy coping mechanisms, that sort of escapism into his work, but also like a way to remind himself he is still here because he can feel the tools in his hands moving against the materials and can hear the sounds of pieces being screwed together and like it’s just something incredibly grounding when he’s at risk of dissociating 
then there’s the aspect of his need to fix things extending to relationships and particularly with clarissa like both of them read to me as people with shit communication and bad anger issues/emotional management but like mark would hate to have these open conflicts because it feels like a raw scab itching on his skin, but the way he tries to resolve them is very like structured and almost mechanical, and the way he treats them like devoid of the emotional aspect to conflict resolution would absolutely rub clarissa the wrong way like he’s commanding this of her (she very much gives me like pathological demand avoidance lowkey) and it kinda only gets worse (this is kinda inspired by the scene where mark is like “so you can apologize” but also i didn’t rewatch the lf to write this lol so idk i might be misremembering) 
speaking of clarissa actually i can see her being the first person to be like unequivocally proud of him for his diys and like taking an interest in what he enjoys without any reservation or caveats or apprehension and it’s the first time mark realizes how easy it would be for his father to have done the same but he can’t let his mind linger on it too long like he just can’t 
but then amanda hears about it and i don’t even think they’re particularly close yet in the timeline when she learns about his passion but even like a person who doesn’t quite like him yet is able to muster pride at his work and he can’t help but wonder why his own father hadn’t been able to (and he can’t just say it’s his fault anymore, not when he has two people proving him wrong, who aren’t afraid to tell him he’s wrong when he blames himself) 
also i really like the idea that any wood related diys mark does gets painted by clarissa, and later on, amanda helps him plan out his designs instead of his usual jumping straight into them approach, and she also helps make those smaller choices for him when he’s not really sure, so things like where in their apartment it could go, what type of wood would be the best match, plus anything with fabric/sewing is all on her cause both clarissa and mark cannot string a needle to save their life and it’s just like so good to have people who care and love him and go so far as to join him in his hobbies (also i just have like a personal hc that amanda can sew and she’s like quite good at it)
another cute idea i think would be fun is that mark gets into drumming because of amanda who randomly suggested he try one day (clarissa i could see vocals or something more classic like guitar or piano, while amanda absolutely cannot sing but i could see being good at a string instrument whether that’s more classical or like electric) 
regarding his relationships, i think clarissa means something to mark that almost transcends language, like there is so much love and support he now has access to and he’s not sure quite where to put his hands without breaking something, and like there is a layer of like a worshipper who has been for so long denied prayer x sculptor crafting something lovingly to life that their relationship embodies in my brain (which, promoting myself a little, if you kinda want that energy (heavy on the kinda), this might be interesting idk, also mark and his father poem maybe eventually lol)
on mark’s end though he strikes me as a very self-destructive person in the ruining what good he has in his life sense cause he doesn’t feel like he deserves it, and this mixed with a tendency to lash out easily means that early him and clarissa fight like constantly (and i think clarissa is really shit at explaining these fights to amanda so amanda absolutely has a terrible impression of mark before they even properly meet, like clarissa is a mix of blaming herself really strongly while also describing mark’s actions more extremely, and amanda wouldn’t know mark’s home life enough to have better context for any outbursts) 
i think ultimately though they come out of their fights more close than ever, and over time the pattern recognition hits and clarissa can just tell when mark’s father is worse/drinking more than usual (or again, if you’re into the idea mark’s father has a cycle of saying he’ll quit, feeling like shit because trying to get sober is a pain in the ass, treating mark worse when he’s trying to get clean, before relapsing) 
and it’s like a lighter load on mark’s shoulders having someone who can see him so plainly (not that he really tried to hide it, people just don’t really give the angry guy in class a second look to wonder why he’s like that, except her, cause she’s always the exception in his life it seems) 
i think there’s a freeness in their relationship that they’re both not used to, like clarissa says shit that comes to her brain before she even knows what she’s thinking, but there is like worry and anxiety and concern that clarissa hasn’t ever shared (not even to amanda) about her mother that she tells mark, and this leads to a much deeper conversation about like mark’s own mother and all that complexity (beiyuanism and dawn-speckled have both made interesting posts regarding that so i recommend reading them if you haven’t already)
back on the self destructiveness, mark’s like antagonism with his father and like standing up to him i think is absolutely not talked about enough, like just the act of trying to goad someone dangerous because otherwise you’re sitting with your own thoughts and feelings and like you just need that adrenaline rush to feel alive and it helps take your mind off everything even if you’re scared fucking shitless rn at disagreeing but you also have long since stopped exactly believing everything your father says yet your brain can’t help but internalize it anyway and just all of that playing in mark’s head when he’s instigating a negative interaction with his dad 
(the dynamic of like i’ll take a bad interaction with my father even if it means i’ll end up hurt/angry because otherwise his voice will just become a strangers interacting against clarissa who doesn’t know her father and amanda who has like only ever had her father to rely on is also really fun to play with) 
i can also see like the self destructiveness meaning he doesn’t put much effort into school (cause why would he, when no one believes in him, and it’s not like he has a future anyway, and it’d have just been better if he had been the one to die that night rather than his mother) and getting into fights he doesn’t really have a chance at winning and going to parties even if he can’t really stand the cheap beer and alcohol and people and noise but it’s better than being at home even if it means standing around with no one who wants to talk to him 
(i don’t think mark would ever be a bully, like it’s just not who he is at all cause he’s more of a standoffish loner in my brain, but i could see him being the type of guy to get into fights by instigating like an assholes attention when he notices one of them picking on someone who like clearly wouldn’t be able to take a beating like he can) 
i think mark is actually kinda smart though, like it probably came as a result of the diy but he’s got a good grasp of math and physics and architecture, but he’s a much more hands-on learner so it’s not obvious to teachers and other adults in his life 
clarissa sees it, but she isn’t really academically inclined either (much more a creative, enjoys art and english and drama and music ykyk, though i could see her being maybe a history nerd) like her grades are just very average while his are like only good for a few subjects and kinda really shit otherwise, so like i could see them kinda just commiserating together about subjects they have no fucking clue about, and helping the other where they can on stuff they do know 
stepping back a little in the timeline of their relationship, i think they met in like a very almost stereotypical meet cute way, of like bumping into each other, and i think clarissa probably spilled something on him, and he’s a little too brash and rude in his response, and she absolutely calls him out on it, but she’s also not gonna let him be soaked, so she leads him away from the party and tries to help him dry off, and they’re both a little awkward about it, but he’s surprised she’s staying, and she’s surprised by how much more mellowed out he is the moment he’s gone from that loud environment, and i think further surprised when he apologies for what he said in that like bumbling unsure of himself way 
i think they fuck off from the party after that, taking a walk around outside, and clarissa probably feels weird about the silence so she just talks about whatever comes to mind, and mark is just looking at her against the sunset
they’re like that for a while until amanda finally finds clarissa, and lightly scolds her for walking off with a random man without talking to her, and clarissa reassures amanda that he didn’t do anything, and amanda beyond a look up and down doesn’t really pay much attention to mark after clarissa’s good word, and both of them are treating him like he’s not a danger, and there’s something nice about the idea of being harmless 
now, amanda and mark, my dearly beloveds, i think if clarissa is the first person in his life to really like believe in him, amanda is the first to kinda defend him and be like protective over him, like i keep on to the fact amanda did not like mark early on at all, but like still clarissa likes him and amanda doesn’t like clarissa sad, and she knows it makes clarissa upset when people talk badly about mark, and while she has her own less than pleasant thoughts towards him, there’s that like sibling energy of like only i get to be a little shit towards him, and she’d absolutely snark people when they say something mean about mark in her presence
mark doesn’t know she’s doing it for like months cause she’s absolutely hiding it from both him and clarissa, but i think he overhears someone mention it while whispering about him or he just sees her glaring at someone talking about him one day when he’s with clarissa and oh there’s something warm and soft blooming in his chest at that (he doesn’t really need the protection, it’s not like he really cares that people talk, or that people don’t like him with the “nice clarissa girl”, and it’s not like he’s wanted a savior at least not in a long time, but it’s still something, and it makes a little kid in his heart feel less like an open wound) 
i think where clarissa is kinda gentle and soft with him when he’s in a bad headspace about his father, amanda is much more like blunt about it, like that “you’re being ridiculous if you think you’re gonna get rid of us now” type energy, and like i don’t think she’s all that good at hiding her feelings about mark’s father, and it always pings around his head how much amanda and clarissa don’t like his father, but she’s still like kinder to him than he’s really all that used to with her, but like just the effort put in is something he holds on to, he’s not used to being treated like glass instead of a ticking time bomb, and it’s not perfect, far from it, but care still feels nice to hold even if it’s clumsily expressed
also she would absolutely not take his negative self-talk, like in the same way she treated clarissa when they were just friends instead of gfs, she kinda accidentally adopts talking to mark that way now and clarissa thinks it’s so funny and amanda will die to her grave denying treating him like he’s one of the girls (let mark join girls night) or like he’s her little brother
(she knows how she’s acting, she doesn’t care to actually stop it, plus it makes clarissa happy they’re getting along, and mark for all his brains is very emotionally unintelligent and has no idea what to make of their new dynamic besides just accepting it) 
i think both clarissa and amanda are able to read mark like really easily, like he’s not all that good at being a closed book, and they’re the first people in his life who truly see who he is anyway, so he kinda doesn’t want to hide from them 
i think they’re different in what they see easily about mark, like clarissa saw the goodness and light in him before he ever fucking found it himself, despite it always being there, but amanda sees the wounded animal clawing at his heart with such precision it’s like she’s prepared for a dissection, like very much the kind of person who can take one look at you and spit back your life story, and it’s like impossible to hide his thoughts from amanda, not when she can tell by just the look in his eyes what he’s reliving 
that skill probably comes in handy like after mark’s father passes away and he grows a little more quiet and distant and far away from them
i don’t have like the brain space currently to even begin unpacking mark’s reaction to his father’s death, but i absolutely need it messy and complicated and affecting all three of them in different ways and it’s only made worse when mark has to plan the funeral 
timeline wise i think it’d probably be like months after the poly relationship is formed, which is already months after like ms jenkins death which is a couple months after the wedding so in a fic perspective this death would be a much later narrative arc 
clarissa
ik i talked about it in the first part but like truly i think about clarissa and her mom constantly, like there is something to like how a city doesn’t wait for you to pick up the pieces, and how easy it is to get mad at how the world is still spinning after your loss, and like that coupled with a brain that already goes in like 3x speed, and also just how much time she would’ve had to process the diagnosis and the incoming meeting with death yet it still hits her like a fucking truck 
like there is something about that phone call she dreads having to pick up, just for it to tell her that the clock has finally ticked down, and all she has left is goodbye like clarissa to me is someone who cannot keep track of time at all but it feels like it’s fucking hunting her down and omnipresent constantly 
there is so much tragic material here to be explored, all wrapped up in a woman that like is everpresently bubbly and sweet and known as nice by practically everyone 
like i think about all the older church going women or like the hs/college acquaintances that try to give condolences and she just sits there and smiles and takes it, and it’s not even forever, because after a few days no one really cares anymore, but the pity is so raw on their faces it makes her want to carve a new expression out by force, and it’s the like implosion of no one understanding how she’s fucking feeling throughout her whole life coalesced into this event
to me clarissa in grieving is not a quiet affair at all like it’s very much like a turbulent whirlwind of emotions cause like she’s had to kinda prolong this fear and worry and anxiety towards her mother’s condition that it’s like a cannonball winding up for the explosion, and it kinda just hit her square in the chest with such force that like her head is spinning and the air is out of her lungs
complicated maternal relationships are my favorite to explore personally there is so many layers here depending on what flavor of projection you like lol 
shifting gears from that since i did touch on the topic already, i wanna go into like amanda and clarissa and their friendship to relationship
i think kid clarissa was much more lonely (extrovert, but too much for people to like her, etc etc) but searching for that missing connection in her life, where amanda was more loner who was kinda above it all but intimidating that no one messed with her and like she probably would’ve been fine all alone for her early schooling days but then clarissa came fucking crashing into her life and now she’s irrevocably ruined and clarissa’s smile is worth more to her than anything else
for like how complex and interesting their dynamic is to me, i feel like their friendship is one that is like very standard teen girlhood energy, and in that it’s also really beautiful to me like that picturesque getting into mischief and sharing clothes and the hours spent talking about nothing at all 
romance wise i think these two would have a very dysfunctional relationship if they had gotten together in the canon timeline of cdiyw, because i think both of them would really suck at establishing proper boundaries like amanda would be too lenient because this is like what she’s been yearning for and it feels like disagreeing would jeopardize everything, while clarissa is just very new to like her queerness and it’s like an avalanche of new experiences that she’s not entirely sure her feelings about and it’s just a fuck ton of delayed processing on her end 
in my canon, i don’t think they’d get together until like months after the death of ms jenkins at least, cause they’re reestablishing this friendship after a bit of distance, and it’s almost like watching two uncoordinated baby giraffes try dancing like it’s not pretty but it’s kinda a trainwreck you can’t take your eyes off of, but that distance probably would’ve helped them try to like establish lines that probably should’ve been talked about a long time ago (but it’s like that longer you know someone less easy it feels to bring something up energy)
i love like minor girlfailure clarissa like she gives me pathetic kicked puppy vibes (which might just be luke upon further thought, given that tom is wet cat energy and so is amanda) but like idk i need that girl more of a nerd and a constant adhd mess and without any coordination (and there’s definitely a lot of potential to be explored in clarissa having adhd, especially with my canon and specifically regarding ms jenkins) 
out of the three, clarissa feels like she’s been to church the most, and has the most faith among all of them, but like i think after her mother’s death and all the people trying to talk to her about how she’s doing and father petrova being yk him about the passing just leads to her avoiding the place and over time she kinda drifts away from it, but i do think later in her life when things settle down more and tim is the new father she flirts with the idea of religion again, though to a lesser extent than she used to
i think it would become a much more private and personal connection in clarissa’s life, and while like she doesn’t involve her partners in it (which is also like an interesting dynamic of how their views of religion clash and differ) i think the community aspect does really help someone like clarissa (plus i think volunteer stuff she’d get really excited about, and it’s something i could see mark or amanda joining her in doing because it makes her happy to have them there while also not being overtly religious that it’d affect either of them too negatively) 
mark and clarissa i did touch on already so i won’t repeat that stuff here but like from clarissa’s pov generally i think she saw mark as like a respite away from having to play a specific character, like with him she let herself drop that mask she’s had and whatnot (though i do genuinely think a lot of that like more bubbly energy is true to who she is, it’s just also like hard to keep that up constantly to please others) 
plus i think there is a lot of interesting ground to cover of like amanda’s jealousy towards this new relationship clarissa has formed, and not even in the explicitly romantic sense, but like initially as like a taking her best friend away from her sense, and there’s fun complexity to be had in like amanda seeing how well the two can be together, along with the bad
some silly stuff before we get into amanda’s section, clarissa feels like a stuffed animals type girl but in that sense of like a partner preferring your cat over you, and both mark and amanda have feelings about it, like unserious but spawning from more serious aspects of their personality (insecurity/jealousy) 
and that does mean the beginning of their poly relationship was an absolute clusterfuck and they all needed to do a lot of growth and have a lot of conversations and mr wilson definitely had to do so much unpaid emotional labor (to which the trio do treat him on father’s day for, and always joke he’s the reason their relationship lasted, even if he will always claim they got there by themselves) 
i think also after clarissa explores her queerness more her style goes through a bit of a transition too, like it’s a mix of like more masculine attire and hyperfem vibes and it doesn’t really stick to any sort of aesthetic but fluctuates constantly (i think she quite enjoys long flowy skirts though) 
amanda
i think, similar to clarissa, after finding out she’s a lesbian she experiments with her style a bit more, eventually settling on a more sharp and classic looks with distinctly feminine silhouettes (button ups, collared shirts, long pants/skirts, belts, blazers, etc) but like teen amanda would’ve had like a glorious edgy alt phase and i think she keeps a bit of that energy into her current style too (and when clarissa begins trying things out, amanda helps her pick stuff out, and they twin outfits some days) 
amanda came out to her dad on complete accident while loopy after getting her wisdom teeth removed, like she had known she was queer for months but did not feel brave enough telling anyone (she comes out to her father before clarissa, and mr wilson absolutely fucking knew cause she was not subtle at all, amanda does not learn this happened though until like a month later when she does a proper coming out and is mildly annoyed she was stressed for no reason, he makes pizza for her of course as an apology for not letting her know sooner, and it does get properly emotionally sappy from there) 
amanda coming out to clarissa i’m less sure about, like i think you could play with clarissa being totally supportive of it, or like have amanda’s coming out influence clarissa’s eventual coming out too, in the sense that like maybe clarissa hadn’t really ever considered being in love with women or play with like the not realizing that not everyone is just lowkey attracted to women kinda vibes but like regardless it takes her much longer to get there than amanda (who i’m placing around like late teen years when she realizes, and clarissa like in her 20s probably a bit after the wedding) 
before we even begin to touch the wedding, cause somehow i’ve barely mentioned it, i want to go into amanda and religion 
i think about what it means for amanda to have grown up in what used to be a church, like especially as a queer girl in a fairly religious part of town, and to me it feels like there is a lot of like haunting the narrative you could do with amanda and religion like her sitting with clarissa in a booth at the restaurant and she has all these feelings she’s not quite sure what to name yet but even then it’s like eyes are watching her every move and she’s not quite sure if it’s just the rest of the patrons there or if it’s something more holy than that 
like i don’t think mr wilson is all that precious about religion though i do think he has some belief in god, but like he has a restaurant to run and a daughter to care for, so his time is limited in when he could even be going to church, and as a result amanda probably grew up distant from religion but like it’s not all that easy to escape from considering where they live, and depending on how far you want to take the religious fanaticism there could be a layer of judgement from others at how unreligious the wilsons are, though there is some light pity too given that many kinda just assume amanda doesn’t interact with religion thanks to the death of her mother (and this sort of helps hide the more pressing reason of like her queer identity) 
i think she has very complicated and mixed feelings towards religion that she just doesn’t feel like exploring that much, like she’s not all that introspective about it personally, but there is like that general kinda unease about being in church, the kinda danger of being too public and out in a possibly unsafe environment, and a lowkey apathy towards the preaching and messaging like she never really connected to faith at all, at least not to any level clarissa and mark have
thanks to religion though i could see it definitely playing a part in why she like didn’t come out to clarissa or her father for like a while after realizing, and i think it’s a topic that her and mark are kinda like shared solidarity about even if they don’t talk that deeply about it (personally i place amanda more agnostic than full atheist, but out of the three she’s the most like non-believer 
now okay so the wedding i have a lot of thoughts about 
in a lot of cdiyw fics there is sort of that like stop the wedding or good luck babe energy, so like amanda’s emotions towards the wedding is ground that’s been covered but i honestly think people have not explored the angst value to the fullest potential yet 
it’s interesting to me that amanda is the one to suggest the wedding in the first place, and while in reality it’s cause the clamanda hair tuck moment hadn’t happened yet, but like ignoring the 4th wall, there is something to the sealing my own doom aspect of her character that does not get talked about enough like i need to know her entire thought process cause like on one hand you could be like maybe she thought it wouldn’t actually work out, and with that you’re playing with like a bit of foolish naive hope, as well as like a very soul crushing disappointment after, and on the other hand there is like that layer of sacrifice and giving up you could write too, like playing with prolonged finality and risking your own happiness for someone else’s
the relationship to sacrifice amanda and clarissa have is constantly in my head, like on a wider with the context of society there is just the blatant sexism of women being expected to be the one to give up their dreams for another person, and i think about the judgement both of them would get in their community cause amanda would stay unmarried and clarissa doesn’t strike me as someone willing to put up with being a housewife for the rest of her life, and that’s not even beginning to consider like people pushing kids and pregnancy on her before she’s ready, and it’s like near constant the societal expectation of these two having to push aside their own desires for like heteronormativity 
and in that i think is where the queerness of the two come into play and develop more, cause like the polyarmoy angle is just an absolute fuck you to all of that, but like early clamanda is more like in sharp contrast of these beliefs while still moulded and in relation to them (so like amanda and the wedding, or clarissa post-married and not sure how to approach also liking amanda, having to keep being gfs/poly a secret in their town, etc) like i think both of them through their relationship are undergoing an arc of breaking through like patriarchal standards and views on love 
amanda being prusemably maid of honor and helping her father plan out the wedding of her best friend cause she’d never fucking miss that but it’s also like absolutely destroying her and mr wilson is watching his daughter throw herself head first without checking her heart has a safe landing and in that there’s a lot of interesting conversations to be had between the father daughter pair of like love and probably the emotions mr wilson felt when he lost his wife and all of that being explored which ultimately results in the two getting even closer 
the day of the wedding is a hot mess, and amanda cycles through like the stages of grief six times every hour, and like i can imagine her helping clarissa get ready and daydreaming of a different world where she was brave enough to have said something earlier, but all she does is smile and fix clarissa’s hair, and clarissa has no idea why her best friend’s smile doesn’t quite reach her eyes
i’ve said already i think after the wedding the two drift apart, and it’s fucking soul crushing for both of them, but also like life is so hectic sometimes it’s like you can’t even focus on the deterioration of your friendships as an adult, and both clarissa and amanda are like changing as people for the first time without each other, and when they do see each other again it’s like a divorce couple noticing the changes in the other’s face but still recognizing that same mole on their cheek (this analogy doesn’t work that well with amanda’s prosopagnosia but i’m trying folks words are hard) 
my last point on amanda is that i think she’s like genuinely the most inconsolable anyone has ever seen her when mr wilson eventually passes away (which out of the three’s parents he’d be the last and it happens like years later)
both mark and clarissa have never seen her in tears more in their whole life, and they’re both grieving him too, and it’s like just a lot of emotions in that household for like a long time before any of them feel at all ready to even begin to plan a funeral or figure out what’s going to happen to the pizzeria (i like to think eventually they reopen it together, and the apartment upstairs is their like permanent place of residence, though it is a little bit of a tight squeeze) 
i think the company in grief is nice though, and really what helps amanda the most is just time, and there’s definitely a cute moment like the first day they reopen the restaurant and a bunch of old customers are immediately back and supporting them, and while amanda may not have ever really felt like all that close to the other people in town, it’s working at the restaurant that brings her community and space she’s been missing after the passing of mr wilson, and i could see her the that night after closing being in tears again thinking about all the stories she heard from patrons about her father
it’s in hearing that so many people cared and remembered him that makes the loneliness less bitter, and it’s a good reminder that grief is not a sprint but a marathon, and the more people there are with his memory the more he does live on in a way and in this like particular death i think all three of them find their own personal closure too, like mark got a father he could call a good man without any mixed emotions, clarissa got a father who she knew and who loved her, and amanda doesn’t have to hold on to being just her and her dad anymore, because there’s so many more people in her life now 
now, unrelated to basically of this lol, i’m gonna very briefly talk about tim
that poor boy is absolutely gonna have a lot of stuff to process later in life, cause like he’s 14 and the main adult we know he has any form of relationship to besides an unnamed mom is father petrova and i can’t imagine that going very well
plus there’s that layer of being watched as the altar boy that i think could be interesting, given how much like father petrova has him do shit not in his job description at all, plus there’s the line of tim being unsure if this is what he wants to do in his life (which like he’s 14, that’s so fair love) and also probably a larger conversation of like religion with younger kids and growing up in that environment etc etc
and i think like mark and tim’s relationship is an interesting one, given like mark’s young age when his mother passed and that like youth in relation to his church/religious days being contrasted by tim 
there is also i think the hc tim is the sibling of amanda which i think is fun though not one i’m personally like extremely attached to, but i think there’s definitely a lot of ideas to play with there if you put it in context with like the bs i’ve been going on about 
also this is not important at all but it is funny to me tim saying my child to mark during the confession scene while being 14 when mark is presumably like in his 20s 
anyways, same endnote as last time, but let characters be complicated and nuanced and not always easy to root for, especially characters that are queer, disabled, or of any other marginalization because we deserve it :)
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watchingyoufromthestars · 1 year ago
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Finally cleaned this up so here’s my DnDads ultimate ship opinions list. I was waiting until after s2 ended to clean this up in case I had any final opinion changes with the last few episodes. Please don’t bash me for any of these. The DnDads fandom is generally very nice but shipping discourse is something that can get heated no matter the fandom.
Dads
Henry Darryl: very neutral. I understand the ship I just never fully got on the boat
Henry Glenn: absolutely fucking feral about them do not get me started on Glennry
Darryl Glenn: feral in a different way that I don’t know how to describe other than toxic yaoi in the way that they’re damaged but refuse to talk about it so they kiss about it instead
Loveeeeeeee polydads but only as Henry/Glenn/Darryl. Not really a Ron shipper I love him and Samantha too much. Ron and Glenn’s friendship is very important to me though
In terms of Jodie, I don’t really ship him with any of the main dads, ESPECIALLY not Glenn. Even if Jimmy didn’t play Jodie I’d still never ship them. Wish Scamster was real and not completely a scam because they’re literally a crackship become real except it was never a crackship before canon. It’s surprising to me that they weren’t really shipped beforehand
Henry Mercedes: THE T4T OF ALL TIME BABEYYYYY. Absolutely iconic couple, fate was in their favor with how they met they were destined for each other
Darryl Carol: After hearing how Darryl talked about his family in Heaven, I was actually really happy they ended up not getting divorced. They clearly had a rough patch as seen in s1, but they genuinely love each other and I love how devoted to her Darryl is. The little finger puppet he made of her in the time out zone… :,)
Glenn Morgan: GLORGAN!!!!!!!!! Oh my god these two tear me apart. I am feral for Glorgan angst there’s too much to work with. More people need to start calling them Glorgan instead of Morglenn please please please please pretty please indulge me in my silly ship name
Ron Samantha: sobbing. They’re so sweet. The distinction that Samantha is also a little silly is very important to me. They love each other so fucking much
Kiddads
Nicky Sparrow: didn’t realize how much I love them for a good while but when I did oh god I love them so so much. T4T it’s so real to me that they’re both trans
Nicky Lark: used to like it but yall mischaracterize Nicky so much in fics. If yall want toxic yaoi just ship Grant and Lark I’m so serious
Nicky Terry: sobs. They were best friends. I don’t personally ship them but the fact that Terry said he was his best friend… that line rattles around in my brain so often
Nicky Grant: recently learned this might get shipped and has THE coolest ship name. Crossfire I love you but for the ship name alone
Sparrow Terry: I think I’ve seen this shipped a few times but only in the context of Terry/Nicky/Sparrow. Not my personal cup of tea though
Sparrow Grant: I don’t see this shipped too often but they have the worst ship name ever /aff. Wtf is a spant lol. Also I’m too much team transfem Sparrow to feel comfortable shipping this
Lark Terry: do not know the appeal of Gun Control but their ship name is fun
Lark Grant: toxic yaoi central. They both need intense therapy but them both being so fucked up is what makes them interesting not that that’s healthy though
Terry Grant: I see them more in a qpr place than anything romantic. I have one fic of them that’s bookmarked on Safari because I think about a part from it from time to time
Don’t have any poly ships for them
In terms of s2 spouses I so desperately wished we could’ve seen more of them. We barely get to see them
Nicky Cassandra: Telling Taylor his dad was a good man and that she misses him every day makes me think they parted on good terms. But then Nicky disappeared because of FBI shit. In another life maybe they could’ve worked.
Sparrow Rebecca: more ugly sobbing. I’m unsure on my sparroace thoughts if they’d end up getting divorced post-finale but I know they’re not fully separating or breaking up. They really are in love but it’s unconventional and messy.
Terry Veronica: I think the reveal that Terry is infertile is a nice touch to their relationship. It sounds weird to say and I feel like I might word this all weirdly. Him being unable to have bio kids but finding love in someone who wants to raise a kid with him anyways. Veronica finding new love again after a supposedly abusive relationship. Both of those combined is something I really love.
Grant Marco: Canon gays ftw. The Titanic episode was so generous in letting us get to see their dynamic. Obviously Grant still has a long way to go in finding self love but I’m so happy he found someone who can support him and loves him back like this.
Teens
Normal Scary: ugly sobbing over them I love them so much. Cradling my madomagi and tma aus with them as madohomu and jmart
Normal Taylor: yearning for the early s2 days like when they went to Sonic and made some devious plan off screen I wish they had more silly interactions together. Was truly fed with the kareoke intro and them bonding over costume making for a minute. Tayloak could be so interesting if there was more material to work with
Normal Link: Childhood BFFs to Lovers; I wish they could’ve hung out more as kids but all that happened
Normal Hermie: I get the hype but I have personal reasons for feeling neutral on them that I wish I could get over. Good soup though /ref
Scary Taylor: see them too much as a sibling dynamic to ever ship them
Scary Link: respect to all y’all shippers but I do not gothcleats and will leave it at that forever. I can only accept the finale with my transfem Link hc
Scary Hermie: I love Scene Partners. These stupid kids and reflecting each other /aff
Taylor Link: one that I can’t believe I didn’t ship sooner they’re so silly
Link Hermie: I think this one is very funny (/pos) but not my personal vibe
Love love LOVEEEEEEEE Marloakworthy AUGH. A giant triangle of everyone paralleling each other
Polywagon I love you; cannot believe you’re real and genuinely canon. This is just Homestuck again when Hussie said all ships are canon (DnDads never beating the Homestuck allegations from me)
Scary Erica: wish there were more interactions I love Erica so much but alas she’s a guest NPC. “You awaken a lightness in me” sapphic ass Scary I know what you are
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yak-leather-whips · 1 year ago
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Yeah, 100% I get you! I’m also not interested in an idea of Riz in any kind of “monogamous” QPR. Like, I think of Riz as being in a sort of QPR with ALL of the bad kids. They’re his family, they’re his people, his party, his polycule if you will! I hang around a lot of poly people, and there’s a lot of joking about how in every polycule there’s one guy who isn’t dating anybody, he’s just kinda there, and in my little portion of my local polycule, that’s me! I’m that guy!
More than anything else about Riz, I identify so hard with that fear of always coming second, of being left behind, and being a perpetual third wheel. For me, discovering QPRs felt like a way for my friends, who I valued and loved more than anyone else, to acknowledge those feelings as being reciprocated, and to confirm that my love doesn’t mean less because I don’t want to make out with them or date them.
Having someone explain the idea of QPR to me for the first time felt like an acknowledgement that I can be someone’s priority, that I can be an important person in someone’s life without being in a romantic relationship with them. It makes me feel secure in my place in their life, and lets me off the hook of thinking I have to “prove myself” over and over to be worthy of their time and affection, which I see SO MUCH in Riz. Like, maybe Riz doesn’t want to be “partnered up,” but maybe he does want deep connections where he can feel secure about his place in these people’s lives, even as they do go find romantic relationships. Most of the people I’ve been in QPRs with are poly, so many of them were in romantic relationships. What QPR gave me was the feeling that I didn’t have to compete for their time and attention in a losing game. That we could be best friends without being ‘just friends.’
I like to ship Riz in QPRs because that feeling of security and reciprocity is really precious to me, as an aro person who gained so much from discovering that my love didn’t have to be seen as lesser, and I want to give him that. I think Riz can be unpartnered and also have multiple healthy QPRs with people who are also in their own separate romantic relationships WITHOUT feeling like he is constantly playing second fiddle.
As an arospec person who is currently in what i would describe as a queer platonic relationship with another aroace person, I feel kind torn up seeing posts that put shipping Riz in a QPR in the category of being just as invalidating as putting him in a romantic relationship. Cuz like, I get the frustration, I am also fuming at the amount of people willing to just go “Lol, fuck all that aromanticism shit, I wanna make my dolls kiss.” Like do what you want, but you don’t have to be a dick about it.
At the same time though…My aro-ness isn’t less aro because I’m in a queer platonic relationship, and my queer platonic relationship isn’t “basically just a romantic relationship with the serial numbers filed off.” Hearing other aro people kinda concede to the idea that it is has been…really disheartening.
Like, I’m also aromantic, and I see Riz as my representation too. Am I not allowed to ship him in a QPR, which is a real part of my own experience of aromanticism, because it makes other aro people feel uncomfortable?
Idk, not sure how I feel about this, but I do feel really icky with both ends of the spectrum right now
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jojo-mlm · 3 years ago
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Idk you do multiple characters for QPR requests, but I'm gonna ask anyway; can you write a poly QPR with Jotaro, Kakyoin and male reader? And if it isnt too much to ask, can you also make reader AroAce? I've never requested to a blog so I'm a bit shy.
I do do poly stuff! As long as it's mlm that is! I hope you like it! It's cool I'm your first blog request! Sorry it took so long for me to get around to it...
ℙ𝕠𝕝𝕪 ℚℙℝ 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙 𝕁𝕠𝕥𝕒𝕣𝕠 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕂𝕒𝕜𝕪𝕠𝕚𝕟
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Vocabulary: QPR - A type of relationship that doesn't fit the conventional labels. An example of this might be people who are in a committed physical relationship, or go on dates without a romantic intent.
None of you particularly started the relationship as much as the three of you just phased into it from a particularly strong friendship.
Both Kakyoin and Jotaro are also aroace, although Jotaro is oriented towards men.
Jotaro doesn't like being touched very much by anyone, but you and Kakyoin are the only ones he allows to be physically close to. You're both allowed to do things like hold hands and cuddle up together, but it's a general understanding he only wants those things in private.
"EXCUSE ME, he asked for NO pickles!"
Kakyoin is actually a very big fan of dance, and he regularly takes you out to his favorite places to play DDR. He's very good at it, and even plays doubles with you if you want to.
They get visibly annoyed when other people assume things about your relationship, and have thrown out rude comments to people who have imposing questions about it.
Jotaro and Kakyoin are infamous for showing up where you are and inviting themselves to hang out. Your other friends have started to get used to it.
Kakyoin really enjoys physical touch like cuddling or hugging and frequently offers you a spot next to him so you can lean on each other.
You occasionally all sleep in the same bed together watching older movies, usually with Clint Eastwood.
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fountainpenguin · 2 years ago
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So about the recent Origin chapter, are Anti-Bryndin and H.P. on good friend terms again? (Or more Flour King patented manipulation?)
High Count Anti-Bryndin has never manipulated anyone in his life!!
They're definitely working on it. The Origin chapters leading up to infamous Chapter 37 were intentionally written to paint Anti-Bryndin as a guy who seemed to be pulling a lot of strings. Everyone talks him up as being the guy who's buddy-buddy with the nature spirit of communication. They talk about his silver tongue... Talk about the rumors that no one is immune to Anti-Bryndin's charm and that he can seduce absolutely anyone.
Then H.P. meets him and considers him a goofball, a pen pal, and friend. He falls head over heels for the guy, but insists he's not being manipulated because his QPR with Anti-Bryndin "isn't romantic, so it doesn't count as being seduced." Love that for him.
As time passes, there are signs that Anti-Bryndin might be hiding things, and that splinters the relationship between them for a while... supposedly.
Personally I think their friendship splintering was on the Head Pixie being possessive, not on Anti-Bryndin. When you start looking into it, Anti-Bryndin was super upfront with H.P. about how he's, like. poly. Like, he literally cannot get any more obvious about how many people he is married to and/or dating and/or in a QPR with and/or seeing on the side. His relationships are extremely public knowledge.
Yet H.P. went into this thinking he could dominate all of A.B.'s time. That didn't work out for him... and then things kept snowballing, getting increasingly worse as he shifted towards a more desperate attempt to impress and/or flirt with A.B., to the point that he started disrespecting Anti-Fairy cultural beliefs in the zodiac and genuinely making Anti-Bryndin really upset with him. H.P. has such an immense fear of being forgotten that he sabotaged a QPR he was really happy in because he couldn't handle the stress of knowing A.B. snuggled with other people.
This isn't to say A.B. is completely innocent, because he was definitely setting up some manipulative tactics (like making a point to scry H.P.'s crystal ball / scry bowl when he knew H.P. was busy just to force H.P. to pay attention to him, dubious boundary crossing, playing with trading cards, slathering him with attention when he was around, nudging him to vote on certain political topics, etc.)
Like, yeah, Anti-Bryndin was absolutely manipulating him... I just also find it hilarious that H.P. panicked and backpedaled before A.B. really got to play that card. Everything that went downhill was definitely "H.P. in panic mode" and not "A.B. screwed things up and was revealed to be blatantly toxic" and that's funny to me. I mean, it's terrible because H.P. was definitely blind to that toxicity (which is why he's falling back into the friendship all over again), but the fact that there was an entire plan being laid that got wrecked because H.P. switched gears is great.
I talked more about "How much of their friendship was a lie on Anti-Bryndin's side?" in a previous Ask HERE if you're interested in reading more about what Anti-Bryndin was going for.
Anyway tl;dr - I like to think of "On the Notion of Cutting Ties" as Anti-Bryndin and H.P. coming together after the timeskip, looking back on who they used to be, and saying "Weren't we jerks?" They're both trying to come clean about their faults and start over.
idk, I had to split this chapter in half because the first draft focused only on the machine H.P. and A.B. are collaborating on and not on their relationship, so all the wordcount that came from that conversation was brand new to me. I really like how it came out. The genuine "I'm sorry I offended you with how I treated your culture, I want to try again" is nice and soft and I love that for them. The QPR may be over but we can still enjoy... they.
Let's not deny that A.B. forced H.P. past his comfort level with Fairy culture things (preening), but H.P. definitely came back and forced A.B. beyond his comfort level with Anti-Fairy cultural elements. It was good of them to talk about these things and I'm glad they did. They do consider each other friends, or at least they're trying to. H.P. will never fully repair his trust in Anti-Bryndin, but he's trying. He regrets how forceful he was and this is one of the things that will make him hover around the neutral middle zone instead of fully committing to being an ally of the Anti-Fairies.
Whether it looks manipulative or not is up to you... The war from "Balance of Flour" is on the horizon, tho, and Flour King will be doing his Flour King thing. Should be interesting.
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weirdo-with-a-nametag · 5 years ago
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1. Who was the last person you held hands with? Me. Just now, to spite you.
2. Are you outgoing or shy? I’m loud, and friendly, but terrified. Sometimes I go out of my way to socialize with a lot of people, and sometimes I try to be as unnoticeable as possible. It takes a lot out of me, but it seems necessary to be social.
3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? My best friend, my sisters, my dad
4. Are you easy to get along with? I’ve been told I am by reputable sources
5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? I have a pact that my best friend and I are to get drunk together one of these days, and he’s nice so he would care, but knowing myself I’ll probably be the one taking care of him, or I’d just pass out on the floor and he’d go sleep
6. What kind of people are you attracted to? nah
7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? nah
8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? what opposite?
9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? not really? I mean, wait, my approach to talking about sex is somewhat clinical. If other people talk about it in other ways, I can get really uncomfortable really fast. That’s part of what I mean by “sex-averse.” If someone’s talking about sex including me, I freak a little.
10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? mm, probably my dad. We talked things out a few days after I moved out, which was recent.
11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? it says, “Who?”
12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? I am So Bad at favorites. No, thank you, today.
13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? Some people, if I know they’re going to, for sure.
14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? Yeah. The world would be less interesting to me without luck.
15. What good thing happened this summer? I got an Infinity Cube (and proceeded to mess with it nonstop fr so long that I had to hide it for the next week until my hand stopped hurting), and I made several thousand dollars for my savings.
16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? The last person would be my little sister’s goodbye kiss. Absolutely, I love her.
17. Do you think there is life on other planets? Of course.
18. Do you still talk to your first crush? who?
19. Do you like bubble baths? bubble baths are nice in concept. I always end up hurting my back by lying in bathtubs, though.
20. Do you like your neighbors? My neighbors hate my family. But me, personally... I’ve never been anything but nice to them, and I think we’re on okay terms. We don’t interact much.
21. What are you bad habits? I bite my nails, ignore my “eat food” alarms, stay up until after sunrise for NO REASON I cannot go to sleep, I get kinda snippy if my mom starts a conversation we’ve already had, use wrappers as coasters instead of throwing my trash away, and rarely stick with something long enough to make anything of it. I have a 95% assembled 3D printer sitting in my room. It’s been at that point for 8 months at least.
22. Where would you like to travel? Oh, yes, I want to learn languages and see the wildlife and touch the water and lay in snow outside of Oregon. Please.
23. Do you have trust issues? Doesn’t everyone? I recently figured out another level to mine, though. Fun!
24. Favorite part of your daily routine? putting on tea water and music while I do the dishes
25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? Check the dysphoria for that one. But runner-ups: it’s really uncomfortable to feel my skin-on-skin when I bend my torso too far, fat rolls are a bad sensory experience for me. Amy oily or overly dry skin is distracting, and my ears always feel like they need to be popped.
26. What do you do when you wake up? During quarantine it’s been go back to sleep, eventually turn on some tv, wait for my housemate to get up .
28. Who are you most comfortable around? mm, my two closest friends, or my housemate.
29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? Have one ex, who asked me something that smelled like it was leading toward “do you want to get back together?” recently. But I don’t think either of us regret breaking up, when we did. It was the right choice.
30. Do you ever want to get married? Eh, how are the tax benefits? I wouldn’t mind, but I have a hard time believing it’d be because we fell in love, and it’s also terribly restricting. I’d honestly rather have a household of 4, a big poly qpr specifically, so I’m not lonely and I can put my love somewhere, and we can support each other. That sounds great.
31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail? mhm
33. Spell your name with your chin. l,kianaz       --I did that twice and it’s identical
34. Do you play sports? What sports? Nah. If you count climbing, then yes, but not competitively. I played ultimate frizbee for a bit? And I like playing hockey. 
35. Would you rather live without TV or music? TV. No question. Music is the  foundation of the machine that pulls me through my day-to-day. That sounds dramatic, but a more precise explanation would be annoyingly long. Someone gets it.
36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? mm, I “like” my best friend in some kinda way, but I’m sure he knows my feeling as well as I do. (still not very well, but the point here is that I’m an open book and we’re close)
37. What do you say during awkward silences? I either don’t register them at all, or I do and immediately divert to some mental or physical activity. Usually blurt out a random thing on my mind, change the subject, or... throw something. Sometimes I throw things at people I want to talk to. Not sure how to explain that one.
38. Describe your dream girl/guy? ?
39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? Clothes shopping is exhausting, what with the endless textures and noises and flourescent lights and linoleum floors and I come out of it with one (1) acceptable shirt and a feeling like I’ve been sanding the edges off of my brain with a belt sander for the hours I spent in the store. Grocery shopping can be fun, but it’s usually more pain than the food is worth, and I like looking for art supplies - SCRAP here in portland is fun. Oh, and lumber stores or carpet warehouses, if I can get away with climbing.
40. What do you want to do after high school? I want to go to college for physics, graduate and move out of the country for grad school, and end up on a research grant teaching somewhere. On my current trajectory, I’ll probably flunk out next year and go to the Job Corps for Forestry training. Look for a job as a ranger, maybe. Volunteer with rescue crews. Not a bad life at all, but I love learning and I’d feel a bit cut off, I think.
41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? Yeah. People deserve second chances in life, but we need to answer for our actions. And no one has the right to demand a second chance from a person. You don’t “deserve” that. You might get a second chance, if you’re lucky. But it’s luck and kindness and trust, not deserved, that you are responsible for taking care not to break.
42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? Probably I’m just thinking, in some way or another. Sometimes I’m keeping myself from running out of the room, sometimes I’m focused on my music, sometimes I’m coming up with something to say
43. Do you smile at strangers? Usually. I try to smile when I make eye contact with people, try and be nice, if I feel safe
44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? Space is attractive but I think I’d see/discover more with a physical deep sea trip than a physical deep space trip. Faster, certainly.
45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? Music, usually, or someone yelling, or I need to pee.
46. What are you paranoid about? my actions having a “butterfly effect” and hurting people, every person, every time I interact with them, but the effects seem so small that no one notices. It’s already too late.
47. Have you ever been high? no? I get a weird loopy reaction to Ibuprofen sometimes, but I’ve never been intentionally intoxicated
48. Have you ever been drunk? see above
49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? I stole some pez? But people know about that. Oh. the answer is yes.
50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? black
51. Ever wished you were someone else? mm, not really. I’ve wished I didn’t exist, but not to be another person who does exist
52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? If I could trust my sense of right and wrong, that would be nice. But physically? I want wings, big enough to fly with.
54. Favourite store? my favorite tea shop was Townshend’s, but they changed. There’s a kombucha place under my kung fu place that’s good, though.
56. Favourite colour? I usually say cobalt.
57. Favourite food? no idea
58. Last thing you ate? 5-am-midnight-dinner-tacos
59. First thing you ate this morning? I am denying the fact that it is morning.
60. Ever won a competition? For what? I won multiple boat races in my 8th grade shop class. Oh and my robotics team went to state two years in a row
61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? nah. Got detention for something in middle school, and a lot of trouble in elementary school, but no suspensions.
62. Been arrested? For what? .....no
63. Ever been in love? questionable
64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? my what
65. Are you hungry right now? I’m very rarely hungry. Also just ate. No.
66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? I have 1 1/2 tumblr friends, none of which I know better than my real-life friends, so my bonds with them are not as strong, no
67. Facebook or Twitter? neither
68. Twitter or Tumblr? tumblr 
69. Are you watching tv right now? no
70. Names of your bestfriends? I refuse
71. Craving something? What? sleep
72. What colour are your towels? whatever color is cheapest
72. How many pillows do you sleep with? right now there are five pillows on my bed. Not a personal choice. If given the option, one, maybe two.
73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? not really
74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? probably 12, including in storage and display-only
75. Favourite animal? there are too many cool animals. It was the wolverine for a while though
76. What colour is your underwear? blue today
77. Chocolate or Vanilla? usually chocolate. Been on a vanilla kick lately though
78. Favourite ice cream flavour? used to go for mint chocolate chip whenever it was available, but I like cherry, moose tracks, I like most things without marshmallows or cake batter, unless you get really weird.
79. What colour shirt are you wearing? blue.
80. What colour pants? orange, with white dotted plaid striping
81. Favourite tv show? how to pick. I’m rewatching Leverage this week, and the Magicians is visually appealing
82. Favourite movie? uh? It was Treasure planet for several months when I was 7, and I have a deep appreciation for the movie adaptation of Holes, but I don’t know abou favorites right now. The Usual Suspects is good though
83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? I don’t think I’ve watched either
84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? again, no clue
85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? I
86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? Dory, or the manta ray, or the baby sea turtle
87. First person you talked to today?... my mom? I think
88. Last person you talked to today? my mom
89. Name a person you hate? no
90. Name a person you love? my sisters. both of them.
91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? god. Let me sleep.
92. In a fight with someone? kind of in a fight with my mom over cleaning? Not much of a fight though.
93. How many sweatpants do you have? three? Maybe more if you expand the definition
94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? 3 sweaters, 4-5 hoodies
95. Last movie you watched? Holes
98. Do you tan a lot? I burn in 10 minutes or less, guaranteed, and I don’t really tan no matter what
99. Have any pets? yes! Lots! 4 cats, 3 dogs, 2 snakes. Lovely sweet creatures
100. How are you feeling? vibrate-y
101. Do you type fast? no, I cheated in typing class and now I type with three fingers and a braille keyboard
102. Do you regret anything from your past? most of it
103. Can you spell well? I think so
104. Do you miss anyone from your past? I miss my best (and only) friend from elementary school. We haven’t talked since the summer after 5th grade.
105. Ever been to a bonfire party? I have thrown many bonfire parties, and been to those of others
106. Ever broken someone’s heart? I have no idea. Oh. Maybe a little? But we’re still friends, so I think it’s ok
107. Have you ever been on a horse? yeah, horses are fun
108. What should you be doing? sleeping!
109. Is something irritating you right now? my hip
110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? “liked”? probably not
111. Do you have trust issues? isn’t this on here twice? Yes, I have trust issues.
112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? mm, my dad and a psychologist
113. What was your childhood nickname? I didn’t have one until middle school, and then it was “Lemur” for about a year. Now it’s Murphy
114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? I’ve been everywhere between Oregon and Virginia (drove across to move here), Idaho, California, Indiana, DC, Washington, Texas, Vegas specifically, Florida, Canada, and China.
115. Do you play the Wii? Used to play mariokart with my dad
116. Are you listening to music right now? yeah, right at this moment it’s “Tribulation” by Matt Maeson
117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? I guess. Usually the noodles are disgusting, usually it’s canned, and that’s not good
118. Do you like Chinese food? there are definitely dishes in amaricanized Chinese food that I like, and for sure dishes in authentic Chinese food that I love, so I guess so?
119. Favourite book? Ah. No comment.
120. Are you afraid of the dark? I don’t think so.
121. Are you mean? I think I can be, but everyone outside my family seems to think I’m an angel, so
122. Is cheating ever okay? Listen, if you can’t tell your SO you’re interested in another person and talk through what that means with them, I think you have more important things to do? That said, I have no experience here. From other people talking about it and my general idea of the fallout and trust, no. Don’t.
123. Can you keep white shoes clean? Highly unlikely. I have never tried, or wanted to
124. Do you believe in love at first sight? I don’t even know what love feels like
125. Do you believe in true love? I’m sure whatever it is can be as “true” as you believe it to be
126. Are you currently bored? always
127. What makes you happy? making things, making people happy, seeing beautiful things, and music
128. Would you change your name? I might
129. What your zodiac sign? Cancer
130. Do you like subway? no
131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? I ask “what are you looking for in our relationship that is not currently there,” and we move from there. Communication and understanding. This is what happened with me and my (now) ex. We’re closer for having talked through our relationship and breakup, honestly.
132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? Another repeat? My dad and a psychologist.
133. Favourite lyrics right now? mm, “I want my answers to be questioned” from “Take Me Back” by Kongos because reasons I can’t explain right now. Also a bunch of Lake Ponchartrain by Ludo because I like that song and a bunch of The Mountain Goats but I can’t think sorry
134. Can you count to one million? If I dedicated the time, but why
135. Dumbest lie you ever told? Convinced my neighbor my name was “oop” or something like that? And that my real name was actually my middle name. Completely on impulse. I did convince her, though. 3rd grade me did know what was up, apparently.
136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? closed. Windows open, though, it gets way too hot in here 
137. How tall are you? 5′5″ish
138. Curly or Straight hair? straight
139. Brunette or Blonde? n/a. Red.
140. Summer or Winter? winter. I overheat and I love snow and ice skating
141. Night or Day? night. Stars and no sunburn or sunlight-headaches
142. Favourite month? no idea
143. Are you a vegetarian? nah
144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? dark
145. Tea or Coffee? tea
146. Was today a good day? today was long
147. Mars or Snickers? snickers, I suppose. I don’t like either of these
148. What’s your favourite quote? I’ve come across several quotes I thought were terribly clever and I wanted to remember, and I remember none of them. Although recently “anything worth doing is worth doing halfway” has been good to me
149. Do you believe in ghosts? can’t think of a reason not to
150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? (via catscuddlingandyou) I’ll level. It’s 7:39am, I haven’t slept, and everything hurts, I don’t really want to get out of bed and look for a book for this. I’ll pull up the book I have on my phone, though. “so unnerved was he at the sight that he leaned against the wall with his hand to his throat to stifle his inclination to call out.”
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raviposting · 8 years ago
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how about disney descendants headcanons? (esp the poly ships like evie/mal/ben or uma/gil/harry)
Ooh nice I have a few (and shameless plug but if y’all ever want polyamorous headcanons you can also 10000% request them on the other blog I’m part of, @polyamoryinfandoms).  :D
Ben is really nervous about asking Evie out but Mal soothes his worries and tells him that it’s fine, that she’ll do it with him and that Evie will love it - and that honestly they both know Evie is down they don’t need to ask her in a spectacular way, but Ben insists. 
He does it right at the next pep rally. Boy gets the entire team to do a choreographed dance for her, and Ben & Mal sing a song (there’s definitely a Three’s Company pun line somewhere in there) and then ask her out and Evie is blushing but she says yes and everyone cheers. 
Uma/Gil/Harry are very open so they  have date nights, but one of the three will sometimes bring another person to them if they’re dating someone at the time. 
Back when Uma and Mal dated, Mal would be there a lot, but Gaston will sometimes bring the Queen of Heart’s daughter around. Gil is more into casual dates so he’ll kind of just bring a date if they’re down to come. 
Date nights are fun. Mal/Ben/Evie are the most Extra - and by that, I mean Ben is the most Extra. Mal mentioned once to him that she always wanted to see Atlantis, and the next thing she knew, he had taken her and Evie on a magical ride that took them underwater to see Atlantis. 
Mal swam with the mermaids and Evie was wide eyed talking to the mermaids and Ben was just smiling at the girls giggling to each other about how wonderful the kingdom was. 
 So I’ve seen the headcanon that Jane is aro, and I really like that so Jay and Carlos are dating, and Carlos is also in a QPR with Jane.
Jay and Carlos will have awesome date nights and I honestly forget if disney descendants have stuff like movies but whatever modern AU I guess they would 100% have movie nights and play video games and go out for laser gun fights (which they always invite Jane to, and cheer whenever she says yes) and cuddle on the couch at the end of their dates.  
Jane was still struggling with her identity when Carlos asked her out, and Carlos was still nervous about admitting that he’s genderfluid, so dating between the two was a great experience for them. There was a bit of strain because they both kind of drifted away from each other at one point - Carlos kept slipping between pronouns and was afraid Jane found it weird, Jane was worried she was being too cold to Carlos. But they talked to their friends and they all reminded them that communication was key (Ben tried singing about it to Carlos. Carlos noped out of the song and went “okay got it Ben thank you”).
Carlos finally sat down and told Jane, and then Jane breathed out that she loved Carlos but not in a romantic way, that she didn’t think she loved anyone in a romantic way, and the two spent the night validating the hell out of each other and there was probably some singing involved. 
I firmly believe Mal/Ben/Evie and Uma/Gil/Harry somehow accidentally went on a double date. I have no idea how it happened, but it did. There was awkward silence for 10 minutes, Ben trying to make conversation about the weather for the next 5 minutes, Mal and Uma trying to fight each other for the following 15 minutes, 20 more minutes of everyone trying to pull them away (and Evie, who got mad at Uma for fighting her girlfriend), 30 more minutes of passive aggressive chats, and then 5 more minutes of awkward silence before Ben went “all right, let’s do this again that was great see you all next week”.
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