#behind my back | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sonadow4life · 6 months ago

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Found this in my notes last night

It’s from 5 years ago

TW: talk of sh

Don’t know why

I don’t know why I do it

maybe for control

maybe for the perfect sense of finally feeling whole

I don’t know why I do it

maybe for relief

maybe for the feeling of blood sticking to my sleeve

You dont know why I do it

though you think you might

why I stay up, blade in hand, late into the night

You don’t know why I do it

You’re a stranger I barely know

so what gives you the right to judge me without so much as a hello?

#tw: sh #s3lf harn #self h@rm #I was NOT in a good place #I had recently accidentally had one of my (healed) scars out and some kid saw and gave me the dirtiest look and started talking about me #behind my back #poetry #back when I still did it on my wrists too Jesus Christ #and old vent poem from 5 years ago

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terminallybisexual · 1 year ago

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literally all of my relationships are completely destroyed and i’m just like fine with it

#i mean im not a saint and i regret a lot of my own decisions but fuck them so hard #one constantly talked down to me and lied to my face another literally tried to steal my shit and another spilled so many secrets of mine #behind my back #and the one friend i have left literally told my family that i was being emotionally abused by my ex #and i didnt know until after we broke up and i don’t know how to feel about it cause like shes kinda right lmfao but thats not their busines #unless it is. i dont know.#so i’m just completely alone. and i’m not even lonely at least for the vast majority of the time #but i dont know how or where to make friends even if i wanted to #and for some reason i think its harder for me to make friends via the internet than in person #personal #mine

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westrnhippie · 1 year ago

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I was told that someone said they didn’t know why my boyfriend was dating me and what makes me so special that he’d want to be with me…

And honestly, I wonder the same thing sometimes. I’m not skinny. I’m average looking. I have an average job. I don’t cook the best. I don’t always clean the house…

Why would he want to be with me when there’s so many prettier and skinnier girls out there with college degrees and meaningful jobs that cook amazing and keep the house spotless…

#personal vent #personal #personal post #vent #relationship #relationships #boyfriend #girlfriend #talk #behind my back #gossip

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doomsdayradio · 2 years ago

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i would not wish this bullshit on anyone but sometimes a small part of me fucking prays theres another alter or alters in the system who hold the information about this that i dont

#words words words !!#vent #❌#behind my back

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valtsv · 10 months ago

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wow that's a nice inflexible honour code you've got there. i can't wait to see it broken under immense pressure, and you along with it.

#🐉#*holding a sledgehammer behind my back*

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feliciteacup · 3 months ago

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genuinely confused and scared as to why multiple people in the r0ckafire fandom that i dont remember ever interacting with have me blocked on here, like i don't know what i would've done to make people block me?

like genuinely i have fear and anxiety that my toxic "friends" from that fandom started making shit up about me that would make people block me. i know it's unhealthy and i'm probably just overthinking but it genuinely keeps me up at night sometimes...

#like i look on other peoples blogs and see them reblog art and im like cool art and then i go to their blog and see they blocked me #and im like who even are you and what did i do that would make you block me #and like i left that fandom because of some really toxic people on discord that were talking shit about me behind my back #they were like 16 and i was 19 or 20 and they were making fun of me for being an immature adult and not going to college #behind my back #and im like who knows what else they wouldve said #were they making up lies about me #i regret rejoining this fandom #im sorry to vent about this here but i just want to post it in case anyone who is still following me from like 2-3 years ago has an answer #like genuinely what did i do #i want an answer #because i can't think of anything i ever did wrong besides being 'friends' with those people in the first place

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interesting-egg · 6 months ago

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I promise to remain 100% completely calm about this…

in the room where you sleep :: 1/4 (E)

“It’s a nice idea,” Crowley chirped, grinning a little wider and making the butterflies in Aziraphale’s stomach flutter a little harder. “Except for the part where, you know, monsters aren’t real.” Aziraphale smiled with tightly shut lips, hiding the fangs that grew involuntarily sharper behind them. “Of course,” he hurried out with a polite laugh. “Speaking hypothetically, that is.”

AZIRAPHALE'S A VAMPIRE AND CROWLEY IS A VAMPIRE HUNTER. ENSUE PINING 👏

#my fingers are crossed #behind my back #I am not calm #need just a lil nibble #mrghostrat vampire au #my reading WIPs rule does not apply to mrghostrat #it’s more of a suggestion really #vampire au

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soupflowers · 1 year ago

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sometimes i feel like i’m measuring the way others react, like… every good interaction is +2 hp points for our relationship, every bad interaction is -2. sometimes i look at others to try to mimic the ways that they’re genuine… because a lot of the time, even if i feel something or i want to show that i care, i don’t know how to correctly show it. sometimes i try to look at myself and my body from an outsider’s perspective to make sure i’m doing everything right, or to perceive how i come across to other people. it’s weird because i think that sometimes i’m too much and too loud and too casual and too awkward and too blunt, but at the same time i’m not outgoing enough or charismatic enough or just… idk. i don’t always feel like a real person.

#textp #MY MY THERAPIST SAID I GOT ADHD !!!! ION EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS #IM ALL DRUGGGGED UP IM ALLL DRUGGED UP!#ok but genuinely i’ve been seriously contemplating if i’m neurodivergent lately #mostly on account of my therapist saying i should try to get evaluated 😭#idk i think i mostly just have a phone addiction #and maybe some weird trauma from my childhood bc i was painfully shy #and my family would just criticize me constantly for being rude #behind my back #in a weird mood tonight

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azuneekun · 7 months ago

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MY EGG ???????????????????????????

#stardew valley #stardew valley alex #alex stardew valley #stardew alex #alex stardew #sdv alex #alex sdv #sv alex #alex sv #stardew #sdv #sv #my art #sdv farmer #stardew valley farmer #WHYD HE FUCKNIG EAT M EGG LIEKT HAT WHATS WROMNG WITH HIM?????I SCREAMED #nvm i need to study him in an enclosure behind the bushes #also i havent drawn a comic in so long. sorry im so rusty i gave up so i can go back playing stardew sorry

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toktopus-art · 24 days ago

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happy halloween 👻 it's haunted house time again

#this also is a meme redraw #stranger things #stranger things fanart #robin and eddie make steve go first so they can hide behind him #oops accidentally didn't post anything for a year sorry about that #but another one of these and more art are on my patreon!! it's pretty much the only place i've managed to stay active on 😭#anyways i won't be watching season 5 so i'm stealing these characters from the show creators i've decided that these are OUR ocs now 🤝#sorry again for not posting anything life's been giving me a hard time lately but i'm trying to come back to tumblr!!

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reineydraws · 8 months ago

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i dont have a caption for you lol i'll let shanks's heart eyes speak for themselves 🫶

(source)

#mishanks #akataka #dracule mihawk #hawkeyes mihawk #shanks #akagami no shanks #red haired shanks #one piece #one piece fanart #incorrect one piece quotes #op fanart #i have accidentally signed up for too much to draw as lesurely as i have been lol soz 🙏#but i noticed my blog got taken off the mishanks tag's top blog list which clearly means i havent posted enough abt them recently LOL #comic #op comic #shanks: no u dont understand. he only calls me by my first name when he's feeling soft and he would never let anyone else touch his face #especially like that from behind! and first thing in the morning? anyone else would find themselves without a hand.#i call my angel all these lovely pet names and in return he lowers all his walls and i love him 🥰🥰🥰#(mihawk on the side is feeling extremely exposed lol)#(but also fond 🥰 he loves him back so much too!!!)

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arcanegifs · 13 days ago

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ARCANE LEAGUE OF LEGENDS: 2x03 - “Finally Got The Name Right”

#arcane #caitvi #arcaneedit #arcane season 2 spoilers #arcane league of legends #league of legends arcane #vi #vi arcane #arcane vi #caitlyn kiramman #heenot #caitlyn #caitlyn arcane #type: gif #media: arcane #league of legends #s2 ep3 #i needed to get this scene outta my system..... oh hardened cait.... changed and driven by her grief and anger over jinx #then we see vi who stubbornly clings onto the sweet cupcait she once knew... just like she was holding onto powder #but the heartbreaking part is that she's changed and vi STILL tries to give everything to caitlyn because shes so self sacrificing #and hoping that the caitlyn she once knew is still there but im so so sorry vi but cupcait is gone look at cait wanting to pull the trigger #just look at the pain behind vi's eyes she cant believe cait would be like this god im in pain #shes trying so hard to reel the cait she knew back in GAHHHHHH #also i hated coloring this scene but whats new with dark scenes from arcane lol

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lotus-pear · 4 months ago

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mourning black and the death of ideals

#i haven't moved on from this yet. btw. i'm still here #finally decided to draw the thought i've been ruminating over for days on end bc it's like a parasite eating away my brain #stated this on the initial post i made days ago but there's just smt so gut wrenching and sickening #about how dazai will have worn black exactly twice in his life: once as a member of the mafia and now at kunikida's funeral #a color that initially signified devotion to the mafia and his demon prodigy alias now signifies his grief #him having to wear black again at the funeral of another doomed fatalist who chose his heart over his survival. his own partner.#kunikida's death being so reminiscent of the tragedy that initially caused him to defect and flee #and everything tying together full circle and effectively breaking him #asagiri rly said fuck knkdz it's doppover we lost gang 😭😭😭#why did bro leave that fucking notebook behind #fool. do you know that angst potential you have left me to work with?#love never won in bsd. it lay dead and festering #i don't know how much longer i can keep saying i miss them. i'm going to kill myself if he doesn't come back #i've never wanted something to be death bait so desperately #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd #dazai osamu #osamu dazai #kunikidazai #knkdz #kunizai #(??? technically. its implied anyway)#lotus draws

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sofiaruelle · 24 days ago

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🌸The SDV gurlies in their Flower Dance outfits🌸

I wanted to keep it coquette/cotteage-core but i played around too much 😅😅. I still tried to keep it all cohesive to the theme of the event but with some my headcanons on their outfit choices lmao (like Abigail’s fit is mostly borrowed from someone or Haley fersure made Emily make her something new from scratch, etc.)

theres some other outfits under readmore that didnt make it to the final.

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 3 months ago

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Why are you running?

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #jiang yanli #jin zixuan #The ship between Jin Zixuan and Jiang Yanli is yuri. To me.#That whole tearful public confession? The way he immediately runs off? Yuriful.#Everyone going 'oh my god what' and 'hey why are you running off???' makes this chaotic scene even funnier.#He's going to just hide behind a tree a few meters away. They can still see his little hat poking out as he cries.#If I was JYL I would have started biting someone.#What do you *mean* the guy you once had feelings for but treated you poorly now says he likes you? What do you do with that information?#Is it character development? Is it worth letting your heart open up again? Is it a mistake to be vulnerable like that?#Not enough credit is given to the internal torment of shijie.#It really does feel like your world is spinning around when someone you did not expect to confess *does*.#This guy has a LOT to make up for though. I wouldn't take him back but I'm also too rational for my own good at times.

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bixels · 9 months ago

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Posting a sneak-peak of this now because I'm about to be In The Shit school workload-wise, so this'll take me a while to finish.

Doing some character design exploration/expression sheets for Celestia and Luna. Figuring out Celestia's weird ass anatomy while I'm at it.

#mlp #celestia #fanart #my art #wip #the grand galloping 20s #delete later #look at me fucking smart guy signed up for 4 art classes in one quarter #so now i have 4 concurrent art/film/creative writing projects going on at the same fucking time #taking bets on how fast i burn out #anyways the idea behind the faces is the front face is the surface. it displays whatever emotions celestia intends when she's in control.#the two side faces––sadness and anger––are sides of her she has less control over. i drew all 3 faces active for the exploration #but in reality only 1 is active at a time. the others will either close their eyes or go catatonic like a puppet or doll #the final face on the back of the head is the deep subconscious. every ugly and violent and hateful thought and emotion #that lies buried under the surface. celestia has no control over that side of her. if she ever wakes

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