#BUT YEAH CRAZY HI 2024 LMAO

[blubary]

First off, Happy New Year!! And second, instead of a new years drawing, you get a Daniel (with cute little silly tiny eyes LMAO)

[addicsvt]

Whatever you say baby

pairing - est!relationship wonwoo x reader genre - tooth-rotting fluff word count - 264 warnings - nothing synopsis - "tell me more, i love you." a/n - HBD TO MY LOVE!!!! he's such a loser in this lmao i love him <3

jeon wonwoo is just so in love with you. in love with the way you get so absorbed into small things. and he doesn't care when his members tease him about it, he'll admit he is a loser for you because he really is.

he loves when you are watching/reading something new and thats all you can talk about for one week. he loves the adorable spark in your eyes when you ramble for hours about a character you particularly like/dislike.

"oh yeah, and he had the audacity to say-" you rambled, as he watched you from beside smiling proudly. no, he didn't get a single clue about what you were saying but they way you spoke about it with stars practically in your eyes was enough. he didn't have to understand.

"mhm.. thats crazy, how could he?" wonwoo remarked, simply playing along with whatever you have been talking about. it must've been the new manga that he bought for you after you mentioned about how much you wanted a new one.

"yeah right? literal red flag-" you go on, no stop to your words. and he just listens patiently, he loves this. he loves the hoodie you put on today, he loves your pretty face, loves your voice, he really could be content with doing this for the rest of his life.

and he listens, he listens till you get tired and your eyes subconsciously close, head resting on his shoulder. he smiles softly, looking at you as if you hanged up the stars. and in his humble opinion, you did.

ADDICSVT 2024

[eeunoia]

ENHYPEN Imagines

mafia boss | lhs.

synopsis: mafia boss heeseung pursuing you.

pairings: lee heeseung x reader

word count: 4k

warnings: mentions of bullying, people being mean to reader, mafia heeseung.

note: i think this was requested, here you go! hehe i’m slowly releasing my drafts so bare with me lmao. also i’ve been very busy lately since there will be a big change in my life (i’m not getting married). anyway, reblogs and replies are highly encouraged as it helps me boost my posts and inspire me to write more. have a nice day and ily. stay safe everyone!

eeunoia 2024 © all rights reserved.

Being courted by the heir of Lee clan is pretty crazy. Having him all smitten by you is even crazier. It still doesn’t seem real. You’ve always think he was way out of your league, but he never made you feel like that.

Although, there are times where he flaunt his wealth sometimes that makes you realize how different you two are. It was unintentional, you can see that he’s just really want to make you feel how much he adores you.

“Wait, Heeseung.” you halt your steps and since the tall gorgeous boy is holding your hand, he stops as well.

He glances over his shoulder with eyebrows raised, confusion and slight worry flashes through his face.

“The mall seems close. We should just go.”

When driving over the parking lot a while ago, you already noticed how the famous mall seems so empty. The lights from inside is open, it’s well lit as usual but oddly, the parking space is empty. It was really weird as it was never like this. Since its located pretty much at the center of the city, its a hot place for mall goers.

He stares at you for a while before he then glances at the mall. Realization occurs him afterwards as he smiled, tightening his hold to your hand.

“Oh, yeah. I rented the whole place.” he casually said that made your jaw drop slightly.

He started pulling you again to guide you towards the entrance, but after regaining your senses you halted.

“What?” the astonishment lingers hardly on your tone. He furrowed his brows, wondering what is it this time.

“What do you mean ‘what’? I rented the whole place to ourselves.” he shrugs his shoulders then you can feel his thumb caressing your hand softly.

“Why?”

Being the youngest and used to getting things instantly, Heeseung’s feeling a little impatient with the way you’ve been delaying your agenda for tonight. He’s been wanting to do this for days and now, he couldn’t wait.

“You said you hate it when there’s a lot of people whenever you shop.” he smiles softly, “So I rented this.” he glances at the mall behind him.

Your lips pursed while staring at him, gaze softens. Nobody ever put so much effort for you, and now that you’re experiencing it from someone you least expect to do it leaves you speechless.

He’s been doing these things for you ever since the day he told you he likes you. He never fails to amaze you and take you by surprise. Lee Heeseung surely has a lot of tricks under his sleeves.

But apart from wealth and good looks, you discovered a lot of new things with Heeseung. The fact that behind his very intimidating aura, is a child wanting to be taken care of. He loves cuddle so much, always wants to feel you through his skin. He’s very clingy.

“Hey,” he gulps and leans downwards to slightly match your height. “too much?” he worriedly utters under his breath.

Heeseung wants to try his best to make you feel his sincere love and affection towards you, but he also doesn’t want it to be overwhelming.

“N-No,” you finally aswered and smiles despite the tears brimming your eyes.

“I’m just really thankful.”

He smiles and kisses you on your forehead before guiding you inside again. The stores on the whole first floor seems to be vacant. Lights were open, but there’s nobody there. The two of you headed straight to the second floor. Lines of branded clothes greeted you.

You rarely shops here since its super expensive, but Heeseung wants nothing but the best for his girl.

“Welcome, Mr. Lee.” the staffs bows their head as he walks inside this popular brand. He has his hand on your waist.

“Help her find clothes.” he stated.

“How many pairs, Sir?”

Heeseung eyes the girl with cold look. “As many as she wants.”

He teared his gaze off of her then glances back at you. The familiar soft look is back and he smiles, taking your hand over his lips.

“Just pick whatever you like, okay? I’ll take care of everything.” he smiled assuredly.

“B-But,”

“No buts.” and the way he looks at you indicates that he will surely not accept no from you.

Since you’ve been all alone your entire life, there’s nobody for you to lean on or share life problems. You’ve been independent your whole life and so you’re still not used having him taking care of you like this.

He walks towards this white elegant couch, “I’ll be waiting here patiently so take all your time, baby.”

Even before you can say anything else, a girl wearing a uniform escorted you towards the pile of expensive clothes.

That’s where it all started. The luxury kind of living you’ve only daydream about. Heeseung became very consistent of it that it triggers something inside you. Sometimes, you overthink and get scared of him suddenly stopping. He just constantly assures you that it will never happen.

“Y/n, let the boys take care of that! Why are you carrying heavy things?!” your manager suddenly steps in and stops you from what you’re doing.

You gave her a confused look as she calls some of the staffs to do it instead. You’ve been doing that before Lee Heeseung even happen and now she’s all worried that you’re carrying those boxes?

Lee Heeseung sure made your life way easier.

“It's fine, I can totally do this. Its my job.” you tried stopping her, but she glances and continuously shakes her head in disapproval.

“What?! No!” you can almost see the fear forming her eyes when you said those words. Not fear of tiring or overworking you, but fear of making you feel upset and getting on heeseung’s bad side.

“Can you believe her? She use to scold you so much for not moving those boxes right away.” your friend stood beside you, watching as the scene unfolds.

You let out a sigh, “Yeah.”

She glanced at you and scoffed, “Well I can’t really blame her. Who wants to mess with Lee Heeseung?” and she shrugs her shoulder before walking away.

You stood still and let yourself be drowned in your own thoughts. She’s definitely right. But you can’t really relate to their fear as you know damn well that the mafia they’re scared with? Is whipped for you.

Later that night you went home and showered to go straight to bed. Surprisingly, despite the same hours of shift, you aren’t that tired. You barely did the heavy works.

The bed that Lee Heeseung provided sure is pretty comfortable, it pulls you into dreamland right away. But in the middle of the night, you’re awoken by the continuous doorbell from your door.

Your eyes pries open, a little annoyed to be disturbed in a very inconvenient hour. The clock beside your bed flashes the numbers 5:03 am. It made you curse lightly as you push yourself up to go get the freaking door.

With your hair still a little disheveled and only wearing a tank top and sweatpants, you stride your dark hallway.

You didn’t even bother to check who it was and just burst the door open, ready to smack out of whoever it is that interrupted your sleep.

“Baby.” his husky low voice completely pulls you out of trance.

The annoyed look on your face vanishes into thin air and got replaced with confused expression. Lee Heeseung is standing in front of you, wearing a white longsleeves and slacks. Seems like he just got out from a meeting or something.

“Hee?” you managed to utter using your hoarse voice. He kept his icy stares on you.

“What are you doing here?”

“Why did you open the door without checking who it was? Are you always this reckless?” he hissed. You couldn’t take it seriously at the moment as you’re still astonished that he’s right here in front of you when he’s suppose to be still in another country.

“What are you doing here?” you repeated yourself.

He steps forward and kisses you on your forehead, a bit hard since he’s a little pissed by the fact that you’re being careless. He’s already thinking of sending 24 hours security guards right in front of your unit.

He sighs then reached over you, resting his hand on both of your hips.

“Let’s go.” he said that only added to your confusion.

He hold your hand, tugging it to guide you outside. Some of his men were already there, waiting. One of them secures the door as Heeseung continued pulling you somewhere.

“Heeseung!” you hissed and tries to stop him, but it was no use. Your built are no match on his.

“Aren’t you suppose to be in a business meeting outside the country?”

“Yes.” he answered, still not stopping and sparing you a glance.

Your brows furrowed, “Did you went straight here from your flight?” as you rack your eyes down to his outfit.

“Uh-huh.” he shortly replied, tightening his grip on your hand. It does not hurt so much, felt so warm tho.

“Where are you even taking me?” and tries not to stumble on your own feet. Your eyes dropped at your house slippers, pouting that it caught all the outside dirt thanks to him.

“We’re going to have some breakfast.” he smiles and opens the door to his car.

“I’m on my pajamas.” you informed him like he couldn’t see it himself.

He trailed his eyes from your head to toe.

“You still look beautiful.” he sincerely stated that awed you slightly.

How come he can still say that when you have no make up on and looking like a rug? He’s definitely something.

He gently pushes you to go inside and his last comment just poisoned your whole system that you didn’t even fight back. He successfully put your seatbelt before closing the door to walk around the vehicle.

“You can sleep more, baby. I’ll wake you up once we’re there.” he says while starting the car, the roaring sound its engine is too familiar for you already.

You rolled your eyes and made yourself comfortable, “You ruined my sleep.” you jokingly said.

He chuckles then effortlessly reaches for a blanket somewhere from the back to warm you up.

Since you’re still a little sleepy, you did drifted to sleep pretty easily. Which you regret sooner since the moment you open your eyes, you’re in a different seat.

“Why are we in a plane?” was your first question, slightly panicking.

Heeseung’s sat beside you.

“We’re having breakfast.”

You shoot him with a bashful look, “On a plane?” a private one, to be specific.

He chuckles, finding you adorable.

“No, silly. We’re going to Paris.”

To say that your eyes bulged out is an understatement.

“Paris?! Why?!” you exclaimed.

Heeseung has the audacity to look surprised by your reaction when he’s the one who took you from your unit then take you to a flight to Paris. And he said you’re having breakfast? In Paris?!

“Yeah,” he shrugs his shoulders. “you said you want to eat croissant.”

Your mouth gaps, couldn’t believe the man beside you. The fact that he looked so innocent while saying that as well is even more staggering for you.

“From the shop a few blocks away from my workplace!”

His eyes then softens then he blinks multiple times, finally realizing it.

“Oh...” he says.

You’re out of words and you two are occupied by silence for a while. This is totally unexpected. But what do you even expect? This is Lee Heeseung for god’s sake! He’s a man full of surprises, sometimes even unplanned.

You let out a sigh then looks out of the window, appreciating the beautiful blue skies decorated by white soft clouds.

“I can’t believe I’ll be in Paris for the first time wearing sweatpants.” you mumbled softly, like it was the biggest problem you have at the moment.

Heeseung reaches for your hand and kissed it, “We’ll just shop for a dress once we get there. Sounds better?”

You craned your neck to face him and stares deeply to his beautiful eyes. A small smile finally spreads across your face before you reached over his cheeks to caress it.

“Thank you so much.” and then you leans in to kiss him on his lips that caught him in utter shock.

“I can’t believe you agreed on coming in the first place! Those people were so mean to you!” she exclaimed as she watches how you’re scurrying to prepare for this dinner.

You looked at her through the mirror. She looks so stressed out while watching you put some make up on. Her eyes then trailed at your expensive dress— bought by Heeseung of course.

She inwardly smiles, you looked beautiful. Well, you always are. She sighs and got worried once again. She knew how bad those people treated you back in high-school so she can’t be at ease knowing you’ll be dining with them tonight.

“It will be alright, (friend name).” and gave her an assuring smile.

But at the back of your mind, you’re actually very worried as well. Scared of what may happen tonight. You convinced yourself that nothing will change unless you face those people who bullied you before. They will keep on torturing and hurting a part of you, thinking that they still have the upperhand on you.

For the first time, you wanted to stand up for yourself.

“And I can’t believe you’re going to that reunion without Heeseung. They’re probably bringing their partners to brag. You should too!”

“He’s probably busy.”

She snorted, “I bet my whole life savings, he will ditch whatever he’s doing just to go with you! That man is down bad for you.”

You chuckled with a blush on your cheeks, totally flustered about it. “You don’t even have savings, (friend name).”

She rolled her eyes, “You don’t have to slap me with reality!”

“Just take Heeseung with you please? That way, I'll be more at ease.” she says in a very worried tone.

“(friend name), I can’t.” you sighs. She’s probably insisting this even more after knowing how you felt for the man.

“I genuinely love him and I don’t want him to get the impression that I’m using him.” you explained. Her eyes softens as her shoulder lowered in surrender.

“Fine, that sounds disgusting by the way!” she jokingly hissed at you then asked you to hurry up.

“Make sure to call me if something happens, okay?” she reminds you again when she drops you off at the said restaurant.

You chuckled at her, “Yes, Mom.” you answered sarcastically.

She shoot you glares. “I mean it, y/n.” she said.

You nodded, smiling warmly at her. She nods then waves after wishing you a great night. Your eyes follows her driving car and as it slowly disappear on your sight, your smile fell. Now that she’s not there to comfort you, uneasiness occupies you.

“You can do this, Y/n!” you cheered to yourself before deciding to walk inside.

It is a fine dining and you’re very thankful that Heeseung had bought you these kind of dresses. It fits the vibe so well.

“Reservation, miss?” the girl by the front desk greets you with a smile.

You nodded then returned the smile, lips shaking a little. After she checked which private room your ‘friends’ are, one of the staffs guided you to the room.

It was pretty loud when you arrived. Some greeted you, some can’t recognize you at all. Its been a while after-all.

“Y/n?” one of the girls who used to torment you before stood up from her seat and walks towards you.

Heads whipped to look on your direction, instantly making you uncomfortable. One of her brows raised as she scanned you with so much judgment.

“Nice dress,” a grin forms her red lips. “where did you rent it?” she added with so much sarcasm that made a lot of the people inside laugh.

Your heart cracks while watching them make fun of you. Just like old times. You nibble on your lower lip, smile long gone from your face. Fist balls beside you, air felt like it got stuck on your throat.

“Just joking!” she exclaims, still with that evil grin. Your eyes stares at hers and you know exactly she didn’t say that as a joke.

Her hand grabbed your arm then dragged you towards a table. You tried to halt her, already foreseeing what’s about to happen. But just like before, your mouth kept shut. You felt pathetic. You went here with a mindset that you will show them that you won’t let them make fun of you anymore and yet, here you are... still helpless.

“Guys, its y/n!” she says and forced you to sit down. You didn’t have any chance to resist as everyone on that table gave you their full attention.

Their faces aren’t friendly, same old gazes that pierced right through your soul. You feel sick on the stomach.

“How’s life y/n? Still working on that restaurant?” (name) asks taunting. She’s the most popular girl on your batch and also the meanest one.

She looked pretty and elegant with her branded dress. Her family is kind of well off, mainly why she got away from bullying you throughout high-school. It was always easy for her. Life is always on her favor.

“Gosh! That’s so embarrassing.” the other commented, she’s the one who forced you to sit at this table.

All of them laughed and agrees. You unconsciously roamed your eyes around everyone seated and it caught on Sander. (name) is sat beside him, probably chasing after him like old times. She’s always been head over heels for him.

He’s the most popular guy on your batch and often paired with (name). He has this small smirk on his lips while everyone laughs at you. It was horrible. You didn’t actually had a serious feelings for him, but it was given that almost every girl slightly had a crush on him. He was that hit back then.

You felt small while fidgeting your fingers under the table. Just by looking at them, you realized how it was before. How they used to bully you back in high-school, belittling you for being poor. You hated it. You hated them. You still do.

The mean things they’re saying is too much so you stood up, making all of them look at your way. (Name), cocks her brows and smirks.

“I-I’ll just go to the bathroom.” and you turned around, ready to leave when you suddenly bumped into something—more like someone.

“Going somewhere, baby?” a familiar husky voice asks.

You’re too immersed to how (name) humiliates you that you failed to notice how the other tables grew quiet at the arrival of someone that doesn’t belong there.

The table you’re in slowly grow silent as well, noticing the tall man right in front of you. His toned arms now snaking over your waist to tug you closer to him.

“Hey...” he softly calls when he noticed how stiffed you got. At a slow pace, you lifted your head to see Heeseung’s soft eyes watching you carefully.

He is really here. You felt your heart swells and finally you felt safe. Your hand rests at his chest, lips shakes because of too much emotion.

“L-Lee Heeseung?” one girl exclaims, totally astounded by his presence.

Some of the men on that table look thrilled as well. They knew him, everyone in this room does. They know his power and influence.

He didn’t spare that girl any glance and just focused on you. His jaw clenches after noticing how you’re shaken up. It didn’t took him long to put piece and piece together. He understands what’s happening right away.

He roamed his icy glares over to the people occupying your table. One by one, like as if trying to remember each and everyone of them. The look on their face instantly changes, some even looked pale.

“U-Uhm,” (name) looked really scared. You’ve never seen her this way. And you’re not gonna lie, its a pleasure to your eyes.

“Lee Heeseung, wow!” Kent, one of your batchmates. He’s not particularly mean to you before, but he does laugh from time to time.

And there’s this one time where he offers for you to date him and got mad when you refused. Saying that you’re just a nobody and how dumb you are for actually saying no to him.

“Nice to meet you, man! Come on, sit down first.” he offers enthusiastically and even pulled the chair beside yours.

Heeseung stood still and quiet. People easily got intimidated. He heaved a sigh and you know he’s about to start saying something, but you beat him to it.

“We’ll be g-going.” you announced lowly. You aren’t even sure if they heard. Some whipped their heads at you with a look of disbelief on their faces.

(name) stares at you with a confused and a bit annoyed look on her pretty face. And with all the courage left on you, you said, “My boyfriend and I will leave now.”

Heeseung got stoned on his position when he heard that. Thankfully, you grabbed him by his arm then dragged him out of there. Normally, you wouldn’t be able to do it. But since you definitely caught him off-guard, you managed to drag Lee Heeseung out of there.

You can feel everyone’s eyes darted at the two of you and the whole room remains quiet as you take your leave. That doesn’t matter. You just want to get out of that place.

“Wait,” he halts and instantly, you stopped too. He held your arm then yanked you back near his body.

“Hold on, baby.” he licks his lips then blinks multiple times. “Let’s talk.”

Thankfully, you’re already by the parking lot. A few people are around, but its better them than those people inside.

You noticed a few familiar vehicles of Heeseung’s men along with his expensive sports car that he often used whenever picking you up.

“I j-just want to get out of here, please.” your pleading and tear stained eyes broke Heeseung. He wanted so bad to ruin those people inside. Everyone who made fun and even the bystanders. He doesn’t care. He will make sure they will pay for making you cry. For making his baby upset.

His large hands cupped your cheeks, “We will.” he huffs, calming himself. “I just need to confirm something.”

You kept your stare right at him, waiting for what he’s going to ask. You already knew what it was and initially, you planned on telling it to him in a different situation.

But it was already clear as a daylight. You love Lee Heeseung and ever since he was around, he always made you feel so special. Like you aren’t just someone. That you actually have value and that you don’t just exist in this world... you have a place here.

“Baby, I’m your what again?” he asks, very eager to hear those words from you again.

His brain already short circuited the first time you said it and he highly doubts it wouldn’t happen on the second time. Specially now that you are alone with him.

“My boyfriend.” you answered confidently.

Heeseung heart races and he felt like fireworks bursted inside his chest. He’s undescribably happy about it. He blinked mutliple times.

“You didn’t say that to only escape that place, right?” he asks, a little nervous. It amused you. You never knew this mafia boy is even capable of having that kind of emotion.

You let out a sigh and held his arm, caressing it softly. Then you gave him this assuring smile.

“No. That’s why I didn’t even ask you to come here. I don’t want you to think that I’m just using you.”

His eyes softens even more, if that’s even possible. Heeseung just loves you so deeply that the thought of being used by you doesn’t even bothered him. It's fine, as long as you’ll want him beside you. He’ll take anything just to be close to you.

Then your loving gaze turns into a glare.

“What are you even doing here?” you ask like a cop interrogating a suspect.

He smirks, “I missed you so I asked somebody to check on you... it happens that you’re heading to this event.” he chuckles. “I thought I could pay you a visit just to check if some guys would try to hit on you.” and he even raised an eyebrow.

You scoffed then rolled your eyes, “As if! You’re the one who walked there looking like a snack! You probably caught the attention of the pretty girls at that table!”

His eyes sparkles, “Really?”

Your face turned sour then you gave him a bashful look.

“Did I really caught your attention?” he asks, sounding a bit excited.

You got confused then let out a big sigh when you realized he got it wrongly.

“Heeseung,” you uttered in a very serious tone that made him stand up straight, giving you his full attention.

You felt your heart thumped louder, feeling nervous now that he’s so focused on you.

“Unlike you, I have nothing special to offer you. I only got a high-school diploma and 20 dollars in my bank account.” you tried to make it sound a joke to ease the tension because he’s staring so intensely.

He kept silent for a while.

“Do you love me?” he suddenly asks that made you all flustered, cheeks and ears turning red.

You blinked then cleared your throat.

“I don’t see how is that relevant in this conversation—”

“Do you love me, Y/n?” he repeated himself, this time even more serious.

You gulpes nervously, getting drawn by his piercing beautiful eyes.

“Yes.” you answered confidently.

He sighs in contentment and smiles gently. His eyes glisten with so much happiness that it made you wonder why.

“Then that’s good enough for me.” he stated that melts your heart instantly.

He took a step closer, making your bodies touch. Cupping your face once again then rest his forehead on yours.

“I love you, Hee.” you suddenly said that made his heart leap in joy.

Heeseung is in trance. He never knew that he’s capable of feeling all these things towards one person. He has no regrets pursuing you. If anything, he’s very much willing to do it again and again.

“I love you even more, y/n.” he whispers then kisses your forehead, then your nose and then pulls away slightly to look you in the eyes.

“You just made me the happiest man alive.” and he leans in for the much awaited kiss.

permanent tag-list:

@rubyanne @map-of-border @hwangjangmi @13tter @candewlsy @simpforniki @classicroyalty @hime98 @moonsclassyslore @ddeonubaby @yeoungie @acciomylove @mymeloem19 @jvngw0n @dreamjerky @minamoons @clar-iii @herasalvatore @nyfwyeonjun @rcveribin @yizhoutv @one16core @soobin-chois @kyutiepeachy @chareadingpurposes @hwalllllllelujah @solelyenha @90sni-ki @nourhan-8 @nikipedia07 @yangbreads @drunkjazed @axartia @all4haru @sta-rie @purplepuppychild @iceeee @wtfhyuck @tobiosbbyghorl @nikililmj @ayayiiie @aeyeree @heeseung-min @in-somnias-world @psh-pjh @hveanlyanqelic @woocury

[winterchimez]

Teach Me How To Love | Kim Sunwoo

summary: the campus heartthrob whom you've had a crush on for the longest time finally asks you out on a date. since you have never been on a date before, you decided to elicit the help of your best friend, Kim Sunwoo, for some romantic advice.

pairing: f!ckboy Sunwoo x g.n!reader

genre: suggestive

warnings: kissing, making out with the one and only Kim Sunwoo

word count: 2,251

a/n: this is... umm yeah. (i'm still learning and new to writing suggestive so pls bear with me lmao 😭)

update (04/09/2024): part 2 is out now!!

"He asked me out."

"Asked who now?"

"He asked me out, Yuna!!" You grabbed the shoulders of your best friend, shaking them vigorously.

That was when the sudden realisation hit your friend, and she formed an 'o' from her mouth, knowing whom exactly you were referring to. 

You have had the biggest crush on Lee Hyunjae since your freshman year. Of course, who wouldn't be? He is literally the heartthrob of your campus. Everyone, including yourself, would do anything to get the man's attention. Even a smile or the slightest moment he turns straight in your direction works either way. 

It wasn't in your third senior year that you got to pair up with the infamous man in one of your science classes. Biology. How fun. 

Your lecturer chose you both to be lab partners throughout the semester, and that was when you had a legitimate conversation with the man himself. Oh, how you were so nervous back then, rubbing your palms together almost every minute, ducking your head down because you were too shy to look straight into the man's eyes. 

However, his calming and friendly persona broke off that wall between you two almost immediately and little did you know, the both of you hit off as good friends. You both started hanging out casually, even after classes, seemingly bumping into one another in the hallway lockers. 

In other words, you were whipped for the man, and when he finally asked you out, you immediately accepted the offer. 

If you were like the rest, you would've felt happy, even excited, to be going on a date with your long-time crush. You, on the other hand, felt the opposite. You were panicking, nervous, and terrified of what was to come. 

Your friend, Yuna, clearly notices your demeanour and proceeds to interrogate you on what's the matter, and that is when you let out the most inner thoughts of yours that have been bugging you for the longest time. 

Clearly, you had zero to no skills on what to do when you're out on your first date. You've seen in hundreds of films and read many rom-com books how holding hands is the least you could do on the first date, to having a passionate kiss if both sides were up for it. 

You were stressed out and had to do something to calm your nervousness. That was when a lightbulb dings right in your friend's mind, and she knew precisely the solution to your problem. 

"I dare you to elicit some help from Sunwoo." 

You paused. Sunwoo? Kim Sunwoo? Your childhood best friend? 

You were confused at the beginning as to why she would even bring him up in the first place. But as you connect the dots, the sudden realisation hits you. 

Kim Sunwoo. You both have practically grown up together since kindergarten, and you are still neighbours to this day. He was the one friend who has always stood by your side from the start, no matter how messed up or crazy your situation might be. He was also the person you'd always rant to, and he'd be more than happy to comfort you if that meant for you to feel better. 

How close were the both of you? Well, close enough that you both have determined that every Friday of the week is a movie night in his apartment that he just recently signed the lease to at the start of the year. You'd both always get the cosiest blankets and drape them over you both while seemingly cuddling with one another to enjoy the films with Sunwoo's handy-dandy mini projector that he bought for a pretty reasonable price on Amazon.

Although there was one problem, your best friend is actually the f!ckboy of the campus.

It did not start out this way, though. Neither of you knew what snapped in Sunwoo's mind. Your only guess was that he was enjoying adulthood to the fullest and getting used to university life. After attending several frat parties, having a little too much to drink and eventually hooking up with so many different women, it was too late for the male to turn back. 

You never judged him for that. It was fine by you since he still considers you to be his best friend, and you both technically still hang out with one another once every week. 

So being the f!ckboy, he knew all of the necessary basics and tricks on how one should act around their partner, especially on the first date.

Right? 

So here you were, standing right outside Sunwoo's apartment door. 

You contemplated on even knocking on the door, for you knew it wasn't even a Friday; it was a Tuesday, to be exact. And god knows whoever he is making out with on the other side. 

Because as far as you know, he was pretty “active” throughout the week except for the day you get to hang out with him. 

You paused. You kept bringing your hand up to the door and then down. Your mind was literally at a tug-of-war at this point. 

To do it? Or not to do it. 

Eventually, you huffed and returned your hands to the door until it swung open and bumped you on your forehead. 

A woman dressed in a periwinkle lace spaghetti strap sleepwear with a grey jacket draped across her shoulders noticed your presence. She immediately got you up on your knees, constantly apologising and asking if you were alright. 

You knew that grey jacket. It belonged to Sunwoo. And it was the same exact one that you always got to wear whenever you came over because you liked how it always made you feel warm and comfortable. 

But you have to brush the thoughts off immediately. Sunwoo is a f!ckboy for goodness sake, and these things are practically an everyday thing to do for the guy. 

Just as you were about to reassure the woman that you were okay, a head popped out of the door, and it was the guy you just had in mind.

"Care to explain the sudden purpose of the visit, my friend?" Sunwoo asks while he makes a warm mug of hot cocoa in the kitchen. 

While you sat at the kitchen counter, you contemplated for a while before finally telling him how the campus heartthrob had finally asked you out on the first date.

And how you actually came to elicit his help and advice. 

It took a while for Sunwoo to process the message, and he burst out in laughter once he got it. In return, you started throwing daggers through your eyes right at him as you scowled at the man. 

"I'm sorry, but this is just too funny for me." He continued laughing while placing the ready-made hot cocoa onto the countertop. 

You pout. "And I thought you'd actually help a best friend out." 

"Okay, okay, I would do anything for my bestie. So tell me-". He slips right into the chair beside you while plopping one of his arms onto the countertop, resting his face on his palm as he stares deep into your eyes. “What do you exactly need my help with?” 

"I don't know. Teach me how to kiss, flirt, and all that jazz, I guess." You shrugged, hoping that he clearly gets the message that you're in dire need of some basic love lessons to please your date. 

The man moves a few inches closer to you now, close enough that you feel his breath. He was studying your face intensely as if some sort of dirt or dust was sitting somewhere at the top of your face. He then suddenly backs away immediately, giving you a hesitant look. 

"Are you sure, Y/N? That you want to do this?" Sunwoo asked with a serious tone, which was unusual for you since you were used to seeing the goofy side of him. But if he were to ask in such a manner, you knew that he wasn't joking around. 

"You do know that if you want me to teach you how to kiss, we literally have to kiss one another, right?"

Oh. 

You were new to all of this. Hell, you have never kissed anyone in your entire lifetime. And now, you were about to give your first not to your lover but to your best friend. It all comes down to whether you are willing to do it. 

Kissing Sunwoo also meant he would give you an actual physical demonstration of the different ways to kiss or even make out with one another, which may include some physical touches on certain parts of one another's body. 

"Yes, Sunwoo. You have my consent." You replied nonchalantly, anticipating whatever move he would put up with you. 

But the man was still frozen in his seat, not moving an inch. "I don't know, Y/N. Are you sure this won't, you know, get weird between us? I care a lot about you, and I do not want something like this to ruin the relationship we've built over the years." 

You could see where the man was coming from because this was the main reason you were contemplating even stepping into his apartment for this crazy love lesson situation. 

However, it was now or never. And if this was all for your first date with your long-term crush, you're down for it. 

"Yes. One hundred percent." 

Like that, Sunwoo's facial expressions shifted as he licked his plumped lips. He then snakes one of his free arms around your waist as he inches closer. 

"Tell me when you want to stop." 

Before you knew it, he closed the space between you, and both lips were now against one another.

Holy shit. You are literally kissing your best friend now. 

Your eyes fluttered shut as you moved one arm around his neck while the other moved up into his hair. 

God, his hair felt so soft. 

Sunwoo chuckled between the kisses. "Look at you go, Y/N." 

He pulled away briefly, only to whisper in your ear. "I had no idea you tasted this good, baby." 

Leaning back in, he began kissing you passionately, and eventually, it became a hot mess. His lips began searching other areas to nibble on, starting from your earlobe and then down to your neck, where he began to suck. In return, you elicit a soft moan which sounded way too sweet to his ears. 

You were floating, and damn, did it feel so good. 

Sunwoo seemingly slipped one of his hands under your shirt, earning a gasp from you.

"Sunwoo-" You gasped, trying to catch your breath. "Aren't you—supposed to go step-by-step?" 

Sunwoo smirked against your jaw as he gently brushed his lips against your soft milky skin. "Baby, sometimes things just go with the flow." 

While he rests his face on the crook of your neck, his hands are now down to your thighs, rubbing them gently. "Wrap your legs around my waist, and jump." 

You were stunned. "J-jump? What are you even-"

"Trust me, Y/N. I'll catch you if that's what you're worried about." 

"You won't drop me, right?"

He chuckled. "Only a fool would drop a person like you." 

With your legs wrapped around him, he carries you towards his bedroom, slowly laying you on his bed. 

This is dangerous. And this is all so wrong. 

You only came to ask for advice on how to kiss your crush, not to have a steamy make-out with your teacher in question, Kim Sunwoo. 

But why did all of these feel so good? Why couldn't you say stop? In fact, you wanted more. You wished that all of these would not stop and that you'd be down to continue with the man himself. 

So many thoughts were going through your mind as you reminded yourself of the true purpose of your visit, your campus heartthrob. But you knew you are so screwed at this point, and there’s no turning back anymore. 

Both of you deepen the kiss, and Sunwoo’s tongue slips right into yours, exploring your mouth. In return, your soft whimpers eventually turned into pleasurable moans to the man himself. 

God, Sunwoo. Give me more. Give me-

And then it all came to a halt. Sunwoo backed away, leaving you both to catch your breath as he stood up from his bed. 

“I think. We are done for the day.” 

Just as you were about to ask him why he even stopped in the first place, you were cut off by the man's quick response, also seemingly turning his flushed face towards the side. 

“I’ve taught you more than enough to please your date.” Clearing his throat, he helps you to get back up on your feet. 

“Oh- um… yeah. You know, thanks Sunwoo. For everything.” 

As he escorts you towards the front door, that familiar soft bubbly smile that you were accustomed to is plastered on his face. “All the best with Hyunjae. I look forward to our next movie night, Y/N.” 

“Ye-yeah!! I’ll keep you updated. Good night, Sunwoo.” 

As you turned your heel and headed toward your apartment, Sunwoo immediately slammed the door shut once you were out of sight.

His back now rests against the door, and he tries to calm his fast-beating heart down.

It was then he realised that kissing you felt entirely different from all the other women he had ever made out with.

masterlist

taglist: @deoboyznet @kflixnet @flwoie @hokupi @zzoguri @kyusqult @tinkerbell460 @cheonsafics (join my permanent taglist here!)

[ink-n-shadow]

Aight bestie hear me out...

Latina reader or NYC reader

Thicker than cold peanut butter

She keeps up this hella professional facade when she on the clock and despite multiple attempts no one can get her to let loose whenever the team heads out for drinks and whatnot

Like a real type A "protocol is protocol" seems to only be fluent in corporate speech

So this is something that 141 kinda like gave up on trying to break through and thought that's how she really is 24/7.....until someone outside the team like graves shows up and miss ma'am finally snaps

Cue the most vicious verbal ass whooping and their reactions to it

Example: "Why TF u out here built like the keebler elf and sounding like Foghorn leghorn but u still got the balls to talk shit?"

Sorry this was long winded lmao

Go crazy with it

the more long winded, the better >:)

SWEETHEART

𝜗𝜚 the one where reserved!reader gets fed up with an outsider's comment

𝜗𝜚 pairing: taskforce 141 x nyc!reader (platonic) 𝜗𝜚 cw: graves being a bit of an asshole, taskforce reacting to reserved!reader popping off

debriefing felt like it had dragged on for hours. your body ached, muscles taut and bruised from the mission you'd just been on. as you began packing up your gear bag and getting ready to head home, you heard a voice from behind you.

"hey! don't tell me you're leavin' already." soap's brash voice filled the room around you, making you turn over your shoulder and meet his crinkled eyes. "night's still young, corporal. come grab a drink with us."

soap was stood there with the rest of the taskforce, plus the man you had just been on a mission with named graves. they all looked expectantly at you, maybe graves more than the rest.

you rolled your eyes before turning back to your gear bag, head shaking for a moment. "can't, mactavish. i've got training in the morning, and—"

an annoyed scoff fell from graves, the one man not involved and the one who had been trying to worm his way into your group's dynamic all day. your eyes immediately landed on him, eyebrow quirking as he put his hands on his hips. “is she always like this? c’mon sweetheart, loosen up a bit.”

gaz tried to step forward, placing a hand on graves' shoulder and pulling him back. "aye, leave her alone, yeah? she said she doesn't wanna come? she doesn't—"

“sweetheart, huh?" all the eyes turned to you as you spoke up, the new yorker in your accent growing thick. you narrowed your eyes at graves, walking forward until you were practically chest-to-chest with the man. "that’s cute. but call me shit like that again and i’ll have my foot so far up your ass that you’ll taste the sole of my sneaker for weeks. got it?”

soap stifled his snickering behind a hand clasped to his mouth, cowering a bit behind your body to avoid the second-hand embarrassment raining down on him. gaz was a bit taken aback, mouth dropped open in shock as he listened to your words. ghost was quiet as usual, but the crinkle in his eyes gave away the smirk hidden beneath his mask. none of them had seen you like that.

but none of them were complaining.

©️ ink-n-shadow 2024

do not copy, plagiarize, steal, borrow, or repost any of my work without my expressed permission

[1onelypoet]

stuck by the glue pt4 || op81 smau

a/n: last part. im a little depressed abt it but im working on a (hopefully) much better smau with like writing (does that make sense?) sooo. again thank u guys sm for the love 💕 ALSO OSCAR NEW IG POST WAS SOSODOD

pairing: oscar piastri x singer!reader

fc: beabadoobe

warnings: cursing and the mildest of mild innuendo

oscarpiastri

liked by logansargeant, lnfour, opeightyone and others

oscarpiastri First race back was a crazy one 🥴

view comments

mclaren A day to remember!

oscarpiastri 👊👊

landoscar OP81 WDC 2024 🗣🗣

landonorris Great job, mate!

pastry4piastri im so normal abt him!

oscarpiastriswife same.

yourusername

liked by oscarpiastri, yourbff, littlebodybigheart and others

tagged yourbff, yourfriend1

yourusername it's a blacked out blur but im pretty sure it ruled 🍒

view comments

youfriend1 there's no bond like the one between drunk dutch girlies who don't speak english and drunk american girlies who don't speak dutch 💕

yourusername nothing brings ppl together like alcohol-induced nausea 💓

landonorris think you guys forgot to invite me

yourbff we didn't invite you! yourbff girls only 😘 yourusername esp after that comment 😐 landonorris I'm not sorry.

y/ntaylorsversion oscar is not giving up lmao

oscarpiastri added to their story

[caption: my world ❤️]

seen by yourusername, lilymhe, logansargeant and others

yourusername got me giggling n blushing n shit 🤸‍♀️ oscarpiastri that's the goal 💕 also why are you cartwheeling yourusername y not 🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️

yourbff simp oscarpiastri only for y/n ☺️ yourbff ok that's kinda sweet ig... still using the emojis like a grandpa tho!

yourbff added to their story

[caption: last day in the netherlands w my bae yourusername n her man]

seen by yourfriend1, yourusername, oscarpiastri and others

yourusername we're such masterminds 🤞🤞 yourbff imagine if they dont figure it out lmao even tho we layed it all out yourusername HELP bet they're gonna say it's logan again yourbff nah logans mine 🥊🥊 he just doesn't know it yet! yourusername LMFAOO i ship it 💝

logansargeant i thought y/n and oscar were hardlaunching? yourbff y/n is wearing the same jacket as the one in oscar's story so u can tell it's her logansargeant who's gonna notice that 😭 yourbff twitter the chronically online hoes etc logansargeant ...so you

yourusername added to their story

seen by oscarpiastri, f1gossip, landonorris and others

oscarpiastri ❤️❤️❤️ can't wait to show you off yourusername AHHHH U CANT SAY SHIT LIKE THAT cant wait to show u off too ☹️☹️

yourusername

liked by oscarpiastri, f1_gossip, laufey and others

tagged oscarpiastri

yourusername love u to the moon and to saturn ❤️

comments have been limited

oscarpiastri ❤️❤️❤️

oscarpiastri This guy's very lucky!

yourusername ur such a dork oscarpiastri You love me though ;) yourusername yeah <3

yourusername im the luckiest logansargeant this is disgusting oscarpiastri Don't be rude to my gf yourfriend2 U TELL HIM OSCAR

oscarpiastri I love you so much

yourusername I love you toooooo

laufey so happy for you my love

yourusername mwah

alex_albon Congrats!

yourusername omggg thx alex

yourfriend1 YALL R SO CUTEEE

yourusername thank u bb

oliviarodrigo cute! (sleeping on the highway 2night)

gracieabrams love! (gonna go bathe with my toaster) conangray amazing! (taking a long walk off a short pier)

lilymhe you guys are the cutest I'm crying

yourusername lils 😭😭

yourbff ngl this made me tear up a little

yourbff no but fr, there is nothing better than seeing u happy. so so happy for u y/n ❤️

yourusername ur gonna make me cry. yourbff good.

logansargeant photo credits pls

yourusername no logansargeant wow okay i see how it is

mclaren Welcome to the family!

yourusername sobbing. oscarpiastri I can confirm this

landonorris the draining life of a thirdwheel...

oscarpiastri It was like 3 times. landonorris 😔😔

logansargeant same mate yourbff hi im free monday 8pm xx landonorris FIFTHWHEELING NOW

oscarpiastri

liked by yourusername, clairo, mclaren and others

tagged yourusername

oscarpiastri All's well that ends well to end up with you ❤️

comments have been limited

yourusername AHHHHHHHH

yourusername best. bf. ever.

oscarpiastri best. gf. ever. landonorris get. a. room. yourusername no ❤️

landonorris UM THE 7TH PIC??? THERE ARE CHILDREN PRESENT!!!

carlossainz55 You are the child. yourusername OKAY GO OFF KING 🔥🔥🔥

lilymhe we've all seen the pictures. she looks amazing! and, um, he's there...

alex_albon I'm starting to think you're y/n's girlfriend lilymhe I am! alex_albon @/oscarpiastri you seeing this, mate?

mclaren 🧡🧡🧡

logansargeant again, no photo creds? this is insane.

oscarpiastri 😬😬

danielricciardo Congrats, mate! 🎉🥳🎊

oscarpiastri Thank you!

landonorris not the emojis...

alex_albon ❤️

liamlawson30 We should go on a double date sometime!

oscarpiastri We'd love to!

opeightyone Aaand couple of the year award goes to...

yourbff u better treat her right or else

oscarpiastri I will 🫡🫡

youfriend1 not the public threat smh youbff 😘😘

yourusername

liked by oscarpiastri, honeymoon, f1gossipgirl and others

tagged mclaren, oscarpiastri, landonorris

yourusername 1st gp as papaya girlie <3 also yes ik the top n skirt arent papaya i have no orange clothes :(

view comments

oscarpiastri Stunning 💕

yourusername <3

mclaren Our favorite papaya girlie!

y/nupdates admin is so real for this

landonorris @/oscarpiastri get the girl some papaya clothes

mclaren ^^

justaninchident HELP THE EAT PASTA DRIVE FASTA

[puffyducks]

DCRC Week #16

Wiggity what's up my fellow book clubbers, today we're taking a look at the ethics of treating artificially made intelligent lifeforms as second class citizens and what the qualifying factors are to determine a being as truly "sentient" and deserving of basic social rights. And by that I mean we're reading PKNA #12: Second Draft which is a comic where nothing bad happens!

This post is LOOONG btw.

okay we're just gonna start off our comic as normal and-

WOAH who's this handsome young devil in his little fancy suit??? What's that? Head of Ducklair Industries?..... yeah sure that makes sense I think.

Everett Ducklair 🤢🤢🤢 get a job stay away from him. Also this is a really nice way of saying you had to stop him from being overtaken by insane homicidal tendencies and putting guns in all his inventions btw

Haha woah what was that. Did the fabric of reality just tear for a second there or did my ADHD meds just kick in. Probably just me.

MASTER Donald???..... I don't even think I can write out the jokes I wanna make here they're too inappropriate for this blog sorry. But also what the fuck.

Uno stop mothering maybe I WANT to get frostbite and lose all my fingers

Not to take a sudden side tangent here but is this supposed to be like, a good thing? Don't the other seasons exist for a reason? I always thought fall and winter were meant to be like a cleansing period, they bring balance to the two other hotter seasons. If it's eternally spring, do some plants just never die? Are animals ALWAYS in the breeding season? Today we're going to overanalyze this one concept in an essay where-

OH MY GOD IT'S ODIN wait nevermind hiii Odin hiiiii. what's lookin good cookin. I mean- shit. fuck. shit.

I'm kind of obsessed with the way Odin is drawn in this comic. His whole body is all wiggly like a bendy straw. His stances go crazy.

gayass

Guys ever since I made that post about Odin's outfits and noticed that he's barefoot here it's been haunting me. Like it might just be a coloring error in this panel but also... why'd he take his shoes off. Also sorry for immediately revealing that it's Odin but um uhh I totally don't know who the OTHER cloaked figure is.

girlll you're giving away the game SHUT YOUR MOUTH

TWO Lylas?!?!?!

I'm loving Donald's shock lmao bro is fucking flabberghasted

This picture is so fucking silly bro. Nooo you can't put Odin in jail, he has such a nice suit on :(

Donald getting offended on Uno's behalf, not knowing that Uno is literally sitting right behind him. SURELY he'll figure it out eventually right.

Omg guys it's Geena!!! Remember Geena? From Portrait of the Young Hero? Anyways she has a gun now

Way to go Donald, you showed her basic empathy for like 2 panels and it gave her an actual sense of self value and NOW she thinks she deserves rights 🙄 she's gonna Detroit Become Human up in this bitch

beaming you with my evil lasers. what if he just fucking fried her brains here I think it would've been funny

Oh that's. probably bad.

ohhhh noooo.....

OOOOHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOO

Ok so bad news, Geena fucking exploded and her droid rebellion is presumably over. The GOOD news though is that droids are destined to get their rights anyways, just in a less violent manor than in the timeline Geena had started. So... I guess that's a win?

Disappears in a cloud of beautiful sunset smoke... Goodbye Odin 👋

Donald. Please. DONALD.

Okay so there's a LOT to say about this comic (so much that I kept hitting the image limit and having to make edits to my post to make it more concise) but if I could summarize it into one word: damn. Like I'm just kinda sad now.

The whole concept of "do robots deserve to be treated like human beings" is a common argument to explore, we've seen it in all kinds of media before. The ethics that get touched on in this comic are nothing new, but I can't help but find this comic incredibly interesting to read in the year 2024. Maybe in 1997 the idea of robots integrating into our society seemed like a far-off concept, but in present day the ever-growing integration of AI technology really makes this chapter feel a little more close to home.

I mean, it's easy to be like "yeah, well of course the droids deserve to be treated like people." I mean, Lyla and Odin are droids, and we like Lyla and Odin! Odin is literally so lifelike that people don't even KNOW he's a droid. But I can't help but think about how this all ties back to the current ongoing debates surrounding the usage of AI, and specifically AI-made content. Obviously the AI we currently have is nowhere near the level of the characters in this series (chatGPT fucking WISHES it was Uno) but there's really interesting debates to be made here.

What qualifying factors determine whether or not a living being is deserving of the same rights we humans give to ourselves? Is it being biological? I mean, there are literally millions of types of animals on our planet, but we don't even treat them with the same level of respect we give to ourselves. So, is it intelligence? If we were to create a computer with the intelligence level of a living, breathing human person, would they be entitled to basic "human" rights? HELL IF I KNOW.

I love the way this comic handles exploring this topic. Geena isn't WRONG for wanting more, she's wrong in the way she went about it. Going as far as to literally alter the course of spacetime only further complicated things, for her AND for the other droids. Had Geena instead devoted her energy into droid advocacy in the modern day, things may have gone differently. This story isn't the end of droids getting rights, but it is unfortunately the end of Geena.

We ended on a happy note, but overall this story is a pretty melancholic one. Especially that whole "only machines can be rebuilt" like DAMN.

Anyways that's enough media analysis for today, time to take off my smart thinking hat and go back to being generally kinda stupid. I'm not gonna add anything about Angus Tales here at the end because I already hit the image limit lol. Umm shoutout to Angus Fangus for having like 110 parking tickets. Idiot.

[mybiasisexo]

HI! Happy New Year!

Can I request #51 with Chanyeol pls? Wishing you all the best for 2024! Thanks in advance!

Distraction 🏋️‍♂️

Part 2 Genre: fluff | personal trainer!au Pairing: Chanyeol x f.Reader Length: 2.3k Warnings: Chanyeol is a warning all in himself boy!!!

a/n: I said i was gonna make a gym drabble and baby here it is!!! This isnt really fluff, but its def not angst. What other genres are there??? I could've made this 6k is2g lmao i want the smut 😂. but ayye these are just drabbles! I'll behave. Sorry for the delay! Thank you so much for the request 😚 this gif of him alwaaaays makes me crazy like if i stare at it for too long ill scream. no im not ok thanks for asking

DRABBLE GAME | MASTERLIST

Dread filled you as you gazed at the building looming in front of you. Your worst enemy—the gym.

You despised the place for two reasons. The first was simple, it was a gym, pretty self-explanatory. The second reason was your personal trainer, Park Chanyeol.

You swore from the moment he was assigned to you he made it his mission to make you never come back. He had to have a torture kink or something, with the stuff he had you doing. You’ve pushed yourself to the point of puking a few times under his care, and still he would make you keep going.

And sure, you were seeing results. And, yeah, it was getting easier. You felt yourself growing stronger with every session. He was good at what he did, even if his practices had you questioning the legality of it all.

With a withering sigh, you got out of your car and made your way to what was your personal hell.

You spotted Chanyeol as soon as you entered. He was standing in the middle of the room, arms crossed, legs spread apart, looking rather unimpressed as he hovered over a guy struggling to do pushups.

You tried not to stare too long at those exposed arms, the massive muscles bulging over his just as firm chest. He always wore the same thing: black basketball shorts with a black muscle shirt that left little to the imagination of how much time he spent at the gym. You’d only ever seen him work out once yourself and…. You refused to let your thoughts wander to that moment.

As if he could hear where your mind was attempting to go, his eyes flickered up to where you were scanning in your membership badge. A wolfy grin split his face as he took you in, the heat of his gaze made you shiver.

He only acknowledged you for a second. It took you a beat too long to realize he was counting his client’s reps. Ignoring him, you headed over to a secluded corner and started your warm up stretches. Chanyeol helped the poor dude up, that strength of his coming in clutch when his client’s knees buckled and he almost hit the floor.

You winced, knowing that pain. Luckily, this gym had darkly painted walls and dim lighting to give its customers a sense of privacy. It helped that it was later in the night, nearing eleven, so there wasn’t many people present to watch him struggle. As well as yourself. That was why you preferred coming late. Less people, less judgement, and it wore you out enough that you could go straight to bed as soon as you got home—after a post workout meal, if Chanyeol were to ask.

He clapped the scraggly man on his back, making him cough, and gave some uplifting words as they slowly made their way to the front door. You were just finishing your stretches when thick bowlegs were in front of you. You were sitting on the floor, so you had to look up, up, up that firm trunk of a frame to meet those round eyes of his alight with humor.

“You actually showed up today?” Chanyeol asked, tilting his head curiously. His shaggy hair fell into his stare.

You glared at him as you climbed to your feet. “Well, I figured you haven’t killed me yet.”

“Yet.” His grin was a warning. He nudged his head to the rather empty machines. “Come on. It’s leg day.”

You let out a relieved breath. It was torture for sure, but leg day was your favorite. He led you to a machine and you got to work.

You tried to focus on the tasks given to you. To focus on your posture, your breathing, on keeping your core tight. But, it was rather difficult when something, or rather someone, was far more distracting.

That was another thing about Chanyeol that you despised. When you first found out he was going to be your trainer, your immediate thought was ‘hell no’. You were hesitant to have a male trainer to begin with, but this one? He was fine as all hell. Too fine. And with that smirk he gave you when you first refused his help—the one he still gave you, mind you—you knew he was going to be a problem.

Matters were only made worse when you actually trained with him. During your sessions, he was nothing but professional. His goal was to help you through your workouts and he did. His large hands would skim over your body as he fixed your posture, or added pressure against your legs so that you knew where to put your weight. His voice was deep and he would use it to encourage and praise you. There was never any teasing or animosity while you trained. His voice would sink into your brain, scramble your thoughts and leave your body boiling. Especially when he’d hit you with a ‘good girl’ or ‘just like that. Perfect’.

He had to know what he was doing.

It was near the end of your session, you had one last work out to do.

“Save the best for last,” Chanyeol said as he took you to a bizarre looking machine.

“And what the hell is this thing?” You asked with a lifted eyebrow.

“It’s called a hip abductor,” he explained to you like he thought you were dumb.

You ignored his tone. “How’re you supposed to use it?”

“Sit on it and I’ll show you.”

You brushed off the innuendo, and prayed he didn’t catch the heat on your face. Instead, you bumped the machine with your shoe, warily taking it in. You were exhausted, and didn’t want to do another set of nothing.

“Why don’t you demonstrate for me?” You suggested.

Chanyeol lifted an eyebrow and you shrugged in response. “What? I’ve never seen you work out before. How do I know you’re qualified to train me?”

He barked a laugh at that, knowing you’re bullshitting now. “I imagine your glutes are enough proof of my teaching abilities.”

You narrowed your eyes at him. “And why are you looking at my glutes?”

He shrugged, feigning innocence. “Just making sure I’m doing my job.”

You crossed your arms over your chest and hummed, unable to think of a good comeback. Instead, you nudged your chin towards this ‘hip abductor’.

“I know what you’re doing,” he said. Despite his words, he didn’t call you out. You watched as he plopped onto the machine with a sigh. You couldn’t help but grin victoriously, eager to see the man at work.

He adjusted the weight, settled into the seat, and then pushed his thighs against the pads, spreading his legs out wide before bringing them back in. He began explaining what he was doing, what muscles he was working, and the proper way to move, but you could barely hear a word over the way his thick thighs flexed, the muscle underneath stretching the skin.

You realized then that your roles were reversed, and a brilliant idea popped into your head. He was always teasing you during your sessions, and now was your turn to have some fun and return the favor.

You took a couple steps closer to him, studying him more, like you were invested in getting everything right. Then you ran your fingers down his arm and he faltered for a second.

“Am I supposed to hold on to the seat like that?”

You didn’t miss the way his grip tightened, his knuckles whitening.

“Yeah,” he said between clenched teeth.

He pushed his legs out again, and you’re quick to fill the new space, forcing him to keep them open.

Your name left his mouth in a warning. That only made your grin grow wider.

He glared up at you. “What are you doing?”

“Testing to see how long you can hold this position.”

He said your name again, but you interrupted him before he could finish. “You always push me. Why don’t I test your limits for once?”

Something ignited in his eyes and the lights ahead shown in them hauntingly. “Who says you don’t already do?”

“What?” You asked, startled by how gently the words left his full lips.

He didn’t repeat himself, but he appeared to give into your challenge. He sunk more into his seat, eyes never left yours as he held the position, too competitive for his own good. Though it worked in your favor.

You’re not sure how much time passed, but it felt like hours of you standing between his legs, both never looking away from the other.

Finally, you decided it was time to up the ante. Sweat had started to gather on his forehead and neck, but most importantly, a slight tremor had started in his legs.

“What’s wrong?” You asked with a fake pout. “Can’t hold it anymore?”

“I’m chilling,” he replied back, but you heard the strain in his voice.

“Is that so?” You grinned again and rested the palm of your hands above his knees on either side of you. “You’re shaking.”

You took your time scaling his body before meeting his eyes again. He was holding his breath, but something in his expression was begging you to continue.

So, you did.

Slowly, you dragged your hands further up his legs, remembering all the times he had done the same. Although he was always professional about it. He only touched you when he had to. There was nothing professional about your touch. All the sexual frustration you’ve felt because of this man had seemed to bubble over and took control of your limbs. In this moment, you wanted him to understand what he did to you, wanted to give him a taste of his own medicine.

His eyes fluttered as you dragged his shorts up with your wrists, wanting to feel his warm skin.

You quickly glanced around the gym, noticing you were the only ones left, and that made you even more bold. Nearly at his hips, you went to move your hands to his crotch.

Chanyeol was fast. Before you knew what happened, he had snatched your wrists with one hand, putting a halt to your little game and causing you to gasp in surprise.

Your ministrations had you bent over him, so your faces were only an inch or two apart. He leaned forward, brushing his nose against yours, the hair on his forehead tickled your own.

“You’re playing with fire here,” he warned, voice a steady grumble against your lips. When he pulled back to take in your expression, you saw the burning inferno ready to wreak havoc in his gaze. You knew that if he were to let go of those flames, it would burn away all pretenses, all politeness, and rules.

And you wanted that. You wanted his fire to consume you, wanted his desire to engulf and burn and hurt.

There was a pause as you both study each other, waiting to see who would break first. You found your arms shaking in his grip, not with the usual soreness you’d usually be shaking with at this time of your appointment. It was adrenaline, your own desire raised to meet his.

Of course, he felt it too. “How long have you wanted me, Sweetheart?”  He sounded deceitfully sweet, and it made your sore legs weak. He gathered that much, so he gathered you. Large hands went to your waist, easily lifting you up so that you were now straddling him. With you on his lap, he could finally close his legs, and he did so with a relieved huff. A mocking laugh left your mouth, but he put an end to it by pushing you down so that you were seated fully on him—right on his bulge.

“Oh!” You startled. You blinked up at him innocently before throwing back at him, “how long have you wanted me?”

He hummed thoughtfully, running his hands up your thighs to hold your hips. He pressed his lips to your ear, “from the moment I first saw you.”

You shivered at both his confession and his warm breath on your skin. It took everything in you not to roll your hips into him, the pressure of him just as much a tease as his expression and words and touch.

“That being said,” he started, and you already knew you weren’t going to like what he was about to say. “You have a workout to finish.”

“I can think of a few alternatives that are just as effective,” you said, giving into the temptation to gently grind against him.

He bit his lip, holding back a moan as he forced you to stop with his hands on your hips. His attention fell to your chest hovering in front of his face. “You’re not getting out of this one. Nice try though.”

You groaned and straightened, slumping dejectedly. He chuckled before wrapping an arm around your waist, standing abruptly. You squealed, holding onto him as he turned around to sit you down onto the seat of the machine.

“Chanyeol,” you whined.

“Hey, I let you stall, didn’t I?”

“I mean yeah, but we were in the middle of something.”

“I tell you what. Finish this set and I’ll reward you.”

“Reward me how?” You questioned skeptically. His idea of a reward usually benefited him more than you.

As an answer, he stuck out his tongue, wagging it quickly at you. Your eyes widened in shock, scandalized. But the burning in your abdomen and the way your legs pressed together was a dead giveaway to how enticing a reward that was.

“Fine,” you grumbled, adjusting the weight and starting doing your reps.

Chanyeol’s loud laugh echoed throughout the building at your eagerness.

“If I knew that was all the encouragement you needed, I would’ve incorporated it sooner.”

“Shut up,” you muttered.

“Make me.” He smirked.

“Oh, I will be as soon as I get that reward you promised.”

When you left the gym some time later, you couldn’t help but to think maybe your trainer wasn’t that bad afterall.

[lalalian]

dr interviews: aeris lucresha greze

date: november 2, 2024

Aeris is my drself in my dragon rider academy dr (aethergarde academy dr)! this is essentially what would happen if I had to be interviewed for a newspaper-- oh, you should be prepared for that, by the way. Videos are a thing, they'll just be on newspapers, and the words from both me and the interviewer will be transcribed somewhere below the moving image.

My drself is honestly just me, but like idk, fancified? Maybe not, idk, I don’t really like to change my personality.

anyway, let's get on to the interview!

WAIT FIRST I LOOKED BACK AT THE POLL AND REALIZED I HAD MY NAME DOWN AS 'ERIS', I KEPT FLIP FLOPPING BETWEEN ERIS AND AERIS, WENT WITH ERIS FOR A WHILE, THEN SWITCHED TO AERIS... I'M AERIS NOT ERIS LMAO

I’ll explain why my last name isn’t Kashmir here in another post!

The Serpentine Record is one of most well-known newspaper outlets in aenaroth!

kalina: "By the skies, it's so exciting to see you! My name is Kalina Idreyss-- I'll be interviewing you today for The Serpentine Record, how have you been doing lately?-- I'm sure the academy's been working you and Kairos to the bone!"

aeris: "Yeah it kinda sucks. Kinda is an understatement honestly."

kalina: "*laugh* We all know how rigorous Aethergarde Academy can be, but, Cadet Greze, would you say it's harsher than your previous life before the academy?"

aeris: "Yes. I could at least sleep in peace at home, but now... oh by the six-- there he goes again."

The building trembles slightly, large gusts of wind force the slightly ajar windows open. A young black dragon roars loudly, Aeris sighs, perhaps this was a rather common occurrence.

aeris: "I told you to go play with the others. I'll be done soon, I promise."

She stands from the plush chair, her feet mourned the loss of comfort as she walked towards the dragon. Kalina stifled a giggle as she watched the scene.

aeris: "No? I can't just leave now. Kai, you have to be on your own sometimes, I can't be here all the time--"

The dragon roars loudly, snapping it's jaws and forcing its head through the window. Aeris pats his head. Suddenly, the slight eye bags below her lower lashes were more noticeable to Kalina.

kalina: "Aww, he's absolutely adorable~! He seems to be quite clingy, I heard gildeds aren't the cuddly type-- I suppose he's in good hands, yeah? Kairos, would--"

The dragon snaps his jaws irritably in Kalina's direction. Aeris swats at his nose, reprimanding the youngling.

aeris: "Sorry, he can be a bit rude towards strangers. Ah, and he's definitely not cuddly, he's clingy. I suppose coddling him like crazy from birth made him this way."

Aeris looks back to the dragon sternly; her eyes narrow-- a clear sign that the rider was speaking sternly to her dragon. The dragon chuffs, smoke puffing out of it's mouth before backing out of the window, and flying on another tower close to their location. Aeris closes the window and locks it, dearly hoping the glass frame was unscathed.

kalina: "Isn't he sweet?" Kalina remarks lightheartedly.

aeris: "He's so sweet. I love it when I find my lunch rotting in his nest. He doesn't even eat any of it... he could've at least eaten it-- why waste food just to annoy me??"

Kalina laughs again, enjoying the dynamic between the two.

kalina: "Oh, can you explain why you chose to name your dragon Kairos? It's a rather unique name."

aeris: "Well, to me, he represented opportunity. He came to me at a critical time in my life, and... I wanted his name to emulate that. I found his name in an old book back at home; I believe Kairos was the word for a critical moment in time in an ancient language, in the book, the word was Romanized into English. I don't know where that book went, but that word just stuck with me ever since I saw it"

Kalina nodded, she wasn't sure what language the name was from, but it held an air of prestige that suited the cadet's dragon.

kalina: "Kairos suits him well, Cadet Greze. I think your dragon is grateful to have a rider who's good with names. Ah-- could you expand on your life here at Aethergarde Academy? Is it what you expected it to be? Did you think you'd end up becoming an S-tier rider?"

aeris: "My life here consists of pure hard work. To be honest, I didn't really know what to expect, but at the same time, I did... I'm not sure how to explain it. I know this academy quite well, but it's not like I knew I'd end up here. Being a rider in general was out of the question for me, I never thought I’d actually be one. I grew up admiring dragons, but I always felt distant— like it was something unattainable."

kalina: "I definitely relate to that distant kind of feeling. I grew up thinking that way too, but now, the two of us are on our way to do great things, aren't we?”

Kalina gives the cadet an encouraging smile, “Cadet Greze, can I ask how you came to know of Aethergarde Academy? Some of the students Serpentine Record interviewed in the past didn't even know much about riders until they became cadets. Did you hear about riders from your parents-- maybe your friends?"

Aeris opened her mouth to speak, but decided against it. She cleared her mouth and smiled, Kalina thought her smile seemed a little mischevious, as if she knew something others did not.

aeris: "Yeah I heard about it from whatever books I could get my hands on. I used newspapers to build my vocabulary so... I... I would use them to practice writing."

kalina: "My, you must've been a smart kid! Did your parents think you'd end up here?"

aeris: "Definitely not, honestly. It's complicated."

Kalina nods, wanting to ask more questions, but it seemed Aeris wanted to keep her humble beginnings to herself.

kalina: "Alright then, Cadet Greze, is it okay if I ask about your classmates? How's your relationship with them? Is there anyone that you're interested in?"

Aeris' face sours as the interviewer asked her about any students she was 'interested in'.

aeris: "Uh, sure, go for it. I really like Miaene; she's really fun to talk to and she's in a lot of my classes. I'm honestly glad that I even met her-- without her, I'm not sure I'd make it to my other classes in time... the hallways can be confusing. I'm a bit wary of Cadet Lancaster, mostly because he's always discreetly in my business... if that makes sense. Luckily he's only in one of my classes... ah, but it's unfortunate that he's in my throwing knife class. Straus is fine; I try not to talk to him much because-- Uh... I mean, he's great. I prefer Miaene's company."

kalina: "Cadet Lumynstrov? I'm glad you're getting along with some of your classmates; not many people predicted that you'd get along so well with her. Ah-- is there anyone you're interested in?"

aeris: "I'm very platonically interested in all my classmates."

Kalina laughs, but continues to prod.

kalina: "Are you sure? What about the Lancaster Cadets? Cadet Whit?"

aeris: "The Lancaster Cadets are... very..."

kalina: "Very...?"

aeris: "...Irritating. Slightly perturbing. Occasionally bothersome."

kalina: "Callisto seems to be quite interested in you, perhaps the two of you would--"

aeris: "absolutely not, miss idreyss."

Aeris shivers in disgust. The idea of Callisto was like drinking dragon piss, perhaps even worse than that.

Kalina laughs and gives the cadet a cheeky look.

kalina: "Aw, but it wouldn't be a bad idea to explore that path, no?"

aeris: "No. Miss. Idreyss. It would."

kalina: "*laugh* Well, I would like to inform you that many people like the idea of the two of you together-- based on a few photos in some recent papers, Callisto often sneaks out to see you--"

Aeris, horrified, abruptly interrupts Kalina.

aeris: "He what??? I need to get a restraining order-- cause WHAT."

kalina: "A… restraining order...?"

aeris: "It's nothing. I just--" Aeris gags.

Kalina tries to hold in a laugh behind her fist, and takes out a few newspapers from her bag.

kalina: "Many are speculating that these students are Cadet Lancaster--"

She points to a familiar white haired boy in each photograph, with each photo, Aeris grows more aghast.

aeris: "Th-that is him...!"

kalina: "Other than personal interest, do you know why he'd be so inclined to follow you around?"

aeris: “He's GROSS, that's why."

kalina: "I'm sure if the two of you got to know each other, he'd try to meet you on your own terms!"

Kalina held back another laugh with a smile. Aeris could only respond with disgust at the prospect.

aeris: "Just... Next question please..."

kalina: "Alright, hm, oh-- What classes are you most interested in this year, and what do you plan to take later on?"

aeris: "A-As I mentioned earlier, I'm taking a beginner throwing knife classes, if Callisto wasn't in that class too, it'd be more fun. Because of him, I think my favorite class in general is my scythe training class. I'd say my favorite non-fighting class would be Magical Creatures I. I really would like to take a few Merspeak classes in the future."

kalina: "You chose to use a scythe? Most riders choose to fight with swords-- what made you choose the scythe?"

aeris: "Honestly, it just felt right. It's not like I was unhappy learning how to use a sword-- it just didn't feel like it suited me."

kalina: "Oh wow, I heard that the scythe has a pretty steep learning curve-- did class go well on your first day?"

aeris: "It went as well as it could've been. Our teacher is tough on us, we aren't allowed to leave until we've mastered the skill to a certain degree. Luckily, it seems that I've got some sort of natural skill for scything."

kalina: "That's great, I think the scythe really suits you. It's rare to see a student choose that kind of weapon."

aeris: "Yeah... I don't blame them."

kalina: "Alright then, that's all the questions I've got for today, do you want to say anything else?"

aeris: "Mm... Don't treat Kairos harshly. Yes, he's a gilded dragon, but it's not like he chose to be that way. He's powerful, but under all those scales, he's emotionally weak. I won't stop him from lashing out if someone decides to spit on him purely because of his breed-- I mean, I'll rein him in if he tries to hurt anyone, but I think people need to face the consequences of their actions. Kairos isn't the kind of dragon to take things lightly, neither am I. I refuse to have people experiment on him or examine him like he's some sort of object. Thank you for today's interview, Miss Idreyss."

wanna know more about my aethergarde academy dr? here's a masterlist with everything I've posted about it!

-

-

-

I'm not too great at writing, so if it seems blocky or unrealistic, yeahhhh that's my bad 😭😭

[adamnablelittledevil]

Reacting to The Vampire Lestat - Part IV (with a bit of spoilers)

Lestat's narration has gotten so much better actually. I mean, I still don't care when he talks about stuff that doesn't have an effect on him, but when he describes things/people that actually do? It's great. It's just so vivid, rich, colorful, sometimes even abstract that simply makes me giggle and kick my feet. When he gets really thoughtful about life, vampirism, existence, religion, morality, feelings, theater, music etc, it feels like borderline insanity, but in a brilliant way? Feels like I'm tasting some crazy drug and tripping, but it's so good? It activates a very specific part of my neurodivergent brain and I love it because I'll also be having those crazy thoughts all by myself with nobody to talk to and Lestat just gets it.

I also love the excess of exclamations on this POV haha.

Sometimes it just feels like a naive child telling things and is kind of endearing.

ARMAND!

Armand in Lestat's words: he was beautiful, ethereal, sublime, exquisite, delicate, soft, perfect, a Caravaggio painting, a Da Vinci painting, an angel, I found myself in him, the possibility of him, I didn't pay attention to [whatever] because I was looking at him etc etc.

Basically calling him the most beautiful thing he's ever seen, really.

Like, I legit MEMORIZED some of them. Lestat was THAT repetitive lmao.

I don't know if it's because the words were so superlative or because Lestat had it that bad or because I have it that bad just thinking about it, but yeah.

I'm not even kidding when I say I need to take pauses because this is kind of unsettling.

I'm so serious, but I feel like reading Lestat's description of Armand has a bigger effect on me than the prettiest person I have ever seen in freaking R E A L L I F E? What the hell, WHAT IS THIS SORCERY?

Lestat, tone it down, I'm begging you.

Been told Armand is really that gorgeous and every character talks about him that way, so apparently he isn't exaggerating... I'm gonna lie down, bye.

It's even worse because I just picture show!Armand because he's even more handsome there so it makes me dizzy.

Also because Lestat won't miss an opportunity to talk about his beauty? He LITERALLY says it EVERY SINGLE TIME he sees Armand. I'm not joking, I swear on my own life. I'm like, OKAY, WE GET IT? ENOUGH!

Armand (Lestat's version) on season 3 will be insufferable and I'm so ready for it. But also not ready yk.

At this point I'm basically just drooling over him and I don't care.

PERFECT casting with Assad. He incorporates Armand like no other. Everyone on the show is talented and I can see them as their characters, but there's one thing or another that I imagine differently sometimes? But not Armand, like, my Armand looks, walks, moves, talks, stares etc the exact same way Assad does it on the show. Every single time. The others are like, 90% or something for me, but Assad is 100% my imagination? It's like he traveled in time, stole my 2024 thoughts, went back to the past, auditioned, got the part and then played it exactly the way I see it today. It's crazy.

Wouldn't be surprised if that's the case, they already have all these possessions going on, what's more to our little satanic show lmao.

Also, great casting with Assad because no man with red-ish hair has looked this good ever. It just doesn't make sense, I'm sorry.

Armand is a beauty God, but also a really good character and I love his lines. Even when I don't agree with him, I just find him fascinating, the role he has on the story, what he represents, the way he moves the plot, whatever the effect he has on Lestat etc...

Armand's moments are never boring. He'll probably piss me off later, but right now I'm having a great time and the book has never been better.

Lesmand's/Armandstat's moments are always heated. The tension is always there. I'm not telling you what kind. Actually, I don't even know it myself. Do THEY even know?

Sam said something about how you're never sure what they are and I think he's right? At least for now. Let's see it after all the books.

They also act like they've known each other forever, have this crazy history that goes through centuries and they already can push each other's buttons... But they actually, like, only know each other for 5 minutes? CHILL?!

They're sort of soul ties/mirrors/foils/two sides of the same coin-coded in an appealing way.

I guess I can say Armand is my favorite character right now. I always read it faster when he's there, I'm always looking forward to seeing him again, I'm fine when I don't see Gabrielle or Nicki, but I'm always like, BRING HIM BACK. I don't know if I should be worried I'll grow into hating him when stuff happens or if I'll just be an Armand apologist lol. I'm scared. But let's wait to see it.

Samssad on season 3 will be delicious. Specially on the 1700s flashbacks. I'm expecting almost, if not EVERY scene of them there to be INTENSE. Great acting potential there.

I really want to see a moment with Armand and Lestat in a church like on the book? Let's take their angelic faces and curls to the next level. Put them in a church, surrounded by religious figures, stained glasses, candles etc. I don't even care what the context will be. They can be talking, silent, killing each other, doing something else, doing all of it, but give me the heavenly visuals. Actually, if they want to film the entire show in a church they can, it would be so aesthetically pleasing. Bonus points if they use Gothic churches because I'm extremely obsessed with them. Bonus points if they use Sainte-Chapelle because I'm kind of even more hyperfixated on that. I mean, it would never happen, but it should *shrugs*.

Btw, the mess Armand made in the house and the way he was reading the books is very neurodivergent of him.

The way he prefers to talk telepathically instead of speaking out loud is very neurodivergent of him as well.

Nicki is soooooooooo doomed by the narrative, omg. Anne didn't even try to hide it.

I'm not really sure how I feel about Nicki except that he needs therapy...

This is probably the silliest comment so far, I'm no longer thinking clearly after Armand's introduction. Sorry, guys. It will happen again.

The next chapter has his name so I'm scared, but also excited.

P.S. Nothing is permanent, opinions might change and this is based on Lestat’s narration, which can be unreliable. I’m reading the books so I can find out more about the characters, what potential events might happen in the show, what I can expect etc. This is my favorite show in the universe, so I want to be as informed as possible. I have no idea if I’ll become a legit fan of the books or not, but so far I’m enjoying it. I’m posting these comments only for fun.

[thecapricunt1616]

Blue Lotus - SxC Fic - Chapter 2

♡ Summary: Carmy & Syd go horseback riding!!! Carmy's therapy friends push him to go for what he wants, his 'light at the end of the tunnel'

♡ W/C: 6,534

♡ Posted Date: 04/07/2024

♡ A/N: Hayoooo!!! I am too inspired... this has become a multi-chap fic hahaha I am havin' so much fun here!! Thank you @gingergofastboatsmojito for inspiring me to keep going!!! ILY! As per usual please know - this fic was inspired by THIS FIC here - Tucson by the GLORIOUS GINGER!!!! Go read that before you even THINK about reading this fic ok?! I love how I hate storer for the same reasons but im a sucker for writing a slowburn - I find myself screaming at MYSELF internally "make them kiss already!!!!" but they will KISSSS SHORTLY SO SHORTLY MY DEARSSSS !!! It will be a JUICY TAYLOR SWIFT DAYLIGHT ASS KISS OK!!!! THEY WILL ONLY SEE EACHOTHER FROM THEN ON!!!! Its gonna be a 'and I can still see it all in my mind all of you all of me intertwined I USED TO THINK LOVE WOULD BE BLACK AND WHITE BUT ITS GOLDENNNNNNN. We need Carmy to realize a few more things but then - he will be hozier level devoted to this woman even more then he already is, I hope you enjoy!!

♡ Warnings for BTC: Not really any? Like? LOL - Swearing?! Smoking cigarettes?! They just went horseback riding & carmy went to therapy- oh Ig talks of carmy getting hard LMAO but thats as crazy as we get this chapter. ➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡ ➵ 𝐂𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐮𝐩 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ♡

Stardust nudges his shoulder so hard he almost falls over, and he turns to look at her. His heart jumped into his throat, his mouth suddenly feeling dry. She was there, she was really there. 

“Uh-” he blinked a few times, to be sure that she wouldn’t disappear. “Syd? Hey..uh-” he felt his entire body buzzing with excitement. He couldn’t help the smile that took over his features. She looked… gorgeous. Carmen wasn’t sure there actually was a word in any human language ever to exist that could describe just how wonderful she looked. 

Her hair was in its natural state, she was wearing an adorable corduroy jacket, black jeans, and white sneakers. “You came to a farm…in those?” he motions to her shoes. 

She laughs a bit “Wow- it’s great to see you too, Carm. Didn’t realize you were…actually like living on a farm” she approached him carefully. 

“Shit- yes- fuck- It’s its so good to see you, Syd, C’mere” he pulls her into a tight, long hug. The smell of her lavender vanilla perfume nearly made him melt. 

“You’re like…tan- and…muscley now” She laughs a bit, squeezing his arm lightly. 

“Uh..” he pulled away, cheeks bright red. “Yeah uh.. It's like- fuckin hard t’ride a horse. And the um…” he rubbed his neck nervously “The uh cows.. They eat hay? Most the time, and so we need to move the bales during the morning for em, they’re like…. 75? 80 pounds? So moving like 10 back and forth every day helps. And I dont really.. Go inside? Here? Its like… uh.. Thats the therapy mostly, the animals- at least f’me” he said sheepishly. 

She nodded, looking around the stable. “That one behind you is yours? Shes been side-eying me creepily since I started talking” she pointed to Stardust. 

“Oh! Fuck sorry yea, well- no…not- not mine- I got ‘er t’trust me. But uh, yeah this is Stardust. She’s a super sweet girl” He explained. Stardust leaned in, sniffing Syds hair carefully. 

“Cute- All you’re missing is a hat” She teased.

He chuckled a bit,  “Ok, c’mon - why are you here, Syd” He said with a small smile, crossing his arms over his chest.

She shrugged, looking at the ground and kicking a rock out of the way with her shoe. “Cause…I was worried- I dunno…” She definitely wasn't going to get bold and tell him that she’d missed him, terribly.

“Ok…well now that y’here, and y’see i’m okay…wanna have some fun?” He asked, a small smile on his lips.

Syd looked back up at him, as if he had 3 heads. “Okay- Where is Carmen Berzatto- Not his… Weird alien clone- Camren Brazota” she said, laughing a bit “what do you mean fun?” She asked, and Carmy laughed, real, and genuine. 

“Well- If I didn’t change my view a little I’d never leave. So, yes, Syd, ‘a little fun never hurt noone’ - per my therapist. Shes fuckin annoying. I much prefer the horses.” He pet Star’s mane and she leaned into his touch.

“Holy shit” Syd laughed a bit. “Wow- alright. I feel like you’re a whole new man already, what kind of fun?” she mused. 

“Ever ridden a horse?” he walked over to the saddle rack, pulling off a double seated one and hanging it over the back of the stall door. 

“No- Actually, Don’t I need um…like - stuff for it?” she asked. 

“Oh don’t think I wont give you the full experience” he opened the riding closet, “Whats your shoe size?” he asked, crouching down and looking through the pairs of extras. 

“8? Er- 9 probably 9” she said. He dug through them until he found a matching pair.

“These should do, y’stuff is cool here we can just leave it in her stall” he told her, holding out his arm for her to hold while she switched her shoes.

“You seem like…” she said as she slipped off her sneaker and put on the boot. “I dunno…chill- well- i wont go that far- but chill-er then before.” Carm snorted a laugh, holding on to her arm to steady her. 

“Thanks? I guess..that’s good right?” He asked. 

“Yeah! Yeah of course…I mean, it’s nice. To see you not so…anxious.” She said, slipping the other boot on. 

“Yeah I um…” he cleared his throat, opening the stall door. “I uh..I’m takin meds- Now? Uh..all this shit. Y’know they have me like tranquilized more then these guys” he said and she laughs, Carmen smiled proudly at the fact, relishing in the wonderful sound. 

“But yeah like Like 3 er..er 4. they say I had all this uh..mental shit. Goin’ on w’me and that’s why I was all…wound up I guess” he explained, calling Star out and getting her harness situated. 

Syd caught herself staring at his arms as he worked, how the toned muscle moved beneath the fabric of the shirt. 

“Aren’t you freezing?” She asked, noticing he wasn’t wearing a jacket like she was. 

“Used to it now, well- I mean the moving around. It gets hot this shit is heavy. Wanna try to hold the saddle?” He asked, unhooking the saddle from the stall door where he’d left it momentarily. 

“It can’t be that bad” she countered. 

“I think this thing weighs probably as much as you do.” He said “hold out your arms” he smiled a bit. 

She lifted her arms out in front of her and he plops the saddle down, she had to plant one of her feet forward so she didn’t fall face first due to the sudden weight and he laughed, catching the saddle quickly and baring most the weight. 

“Told you” he teased. 

She rolled her eyes “yeah whatever. Saddle up the horse, cowboy” she dropped the saddle back in his arms. He hurled the saddle over Stars back with a grunt. 

“Fuckin hell” he huffed, realizing since the saddle was nearly double the weight as his usual, and being on the shorter end- he couldn’t just get it on her when she was standing straight. “Bow” he told the horse and she just stared at Sydney. 

“Don’t embarrass me, Star. Bow” he told her and she looked the other way. 

“So uhhh…this one’s trained, huh?” Sydney teased. 

Carmen looked back at her “mmhmm maybe she doesn’t like strangers” he said, walking over to the other side. 

“Since she’s bein difficult y’gonna have T’help. C’mere” he waved her over and she followed. “So when I push it up, just grab the saddle pad and make sure it doesn’t move, yea?” He asked. 

“The fuck is a saddle pad, dude- I know my way around a kitchen not a fuckin horse stable.” She looked at the many different layers the horse was already wearing. 

“Alright. So this,” he lifted the cloth, “is her blanket. Keeps her core warm. And beneath it” he pats the pad “this is her saddle pad, it makes it more comfortable. So our bones aren’t like..diggin in her back and shit. Also shock, when she jumps the foam of it helps our weight disperse. The saddle is so big and heavy I can’t keep the pad still at the same time, so just hold it f’me,” he took her hand, guiding it to where he wanted her to hold. 

She felt her heartbeat quicken, his hands were so large and calloused on top of her own. She nodded wordlessly, keeping her eyes trained on where she was meant to be holding and focusing on keeping it steady as he went back around and carefully lifted up the heavy saddle with a grunt, laying it over the horses back. 

“Jesus- how much can this thing carry” Syd asked. 

“Well she is a mare, she weighs about…mmm- 1900? She can comfortably hold about 400 pounds for a decent distance but she can’t do that for hours and hours at a time. We together can’t be more then 300, and her gear is less then 100 pounds. Were just goin f’r a quick ride, I gotta get to therapy at 3” he explained as he buckled on her saddle. 

“Ah. So you’ve been memorizing horse information instead of creating recipes? I figured when I got here you’d have gone nuts by now without being in a kitchen so long” she gently touched the horses mane as she spoke. 

“Maybe. Well…I am kinda goin crazy? But I can’t…let it out?” He chuckled a bit “does that make sense? Nights are a little hard before my sleep meds kick in but that just says I haven’t done enough that day” he got up. “So y’gettin up first since I’m sittin in back” he explained. 

“Oh…uh- ok how do I?” She asked looking up at the at least 7 foot tall animal. 

“Y’not gonna be able to do it alone. C’mere” he told her. She comes over and looks at him. 

“How the fuck do you do this?” She looked up at the saddle that was at the top of her head before looking back at him. 

“So-“ he snorts a laugh at her wide confused expression. “She’s not gonna like you trying to roll up on her back, and I don’t want you t’get thrown off, she can be moody with new people. I almost broke my shoulder my first time trying to ride her” he said and she crossed her arms slightly. 

“So how. How do I get up there?” She asked. He pulled out a step stool, setting it next to the horse and getting up on the third step. 

“I’m giving you a lift. Arms up” he said with a playful smirk. 

“No- no way- Carmen that’s too high. You’ll drop me!!” She took a step back, feeling slightly nervous. 

“I won’t because I’ll bribe her Syd. C’mere” he pulled a pack of peep marshmallows out of his pocket and the horse nearly starts dancing. 

“Carm- what the fuck is happening?” She asked and Carmy chuckled. 

“Bow. Cmon Syd wants t’ride. Bow and you’ll get y’treat star.” He told the horse. 

It obediently bowed down and before Syd could process what was happening, Carm was scooping her up beneath her arms Syd squealed in surprise. “Oh my GOD WHY ARE YOU PICKING ME UP!” She shrieked, wiggling in his arms. 

“open y’legs! Cmon! she’s gonna get up!!!” Carmen laughed holding her up higher. Syd finally obeyed and he gently plopped her on the first saddle. “Good girl” he told the horse, feeding her the marshmallow and putting the packet in his pocket again before swiftly getting on behind Syd. 

“Alright. Hard part done.” He reached around her waist, and she lifted her arms slightly. 

“What- can you tell me what’s going on? I’m a horse virgin!” She said, and they both went quiet for a moment, before cracking up laughing. Syd leaned to her left slightly as she tried catching her breath, grabbing the rein for stability and tugging. 

Star took off sprinting, Syd screamed in surprise, her body going tight with fear. Carmen quickly wrapped his arms around Syds waist protectively, tugging on the reigns “WOOOOAH!” He called to Star and she quickly came to a stop. 

“Stand.” He told the horse firmly. 

“What the fuck Carm I thought she was trained!” Syd exclaimed, gripping onto his forearms for dear life. 

“I gotchu, you think I’d let her kick you off?” He tightened his arms around her. Carmen swore his heart was thumping so hard that she felt it on her shoulder blade. 

“Also when she moves it’s hard to keep still.” She said nervously. 

“Don’t worry, I gotchu, Syd. Lean into me, if our weight is centered then it’ll be easier for all 3 of us” he gently pushed at her stomach. 

She leaned back into his broad chest, “see” he said softly. He was lucky the angle didn’t allow for her to see him, because his face was bright red, And having her body pressed against his…was making him flush somewhere else too. 

He clicked his tongue and Stardust started walking again, at an easy comfortable trot. “This…is ok.” She said, much more comfortable now. 

“I’m gonna take you t’one of my favorite spots.” He said, pulling on the reins to the left lightly so she would follow the left trail. 

“Wow, already sharing secret spots huh? I think this therapist may just be Doctor of the year I don’t even think I’ve seen your favorite Chicago spots” she teased. 

Carm laughed a bit, he felt so much lighter with Syd around. And life had been lighter ever since he got here. 

“How is…uh- how is it back home?” He cleared his throat lightly. It was something that had being weighing on him. Yes, he was here, he was doing the thing. He was making Sugar happy. He was making Syd happy…but he would go back, at some point. 

And his biggest fear was things will just go right back. He won’t have this outlet, he won’t have sunset rides with Stardust to ease his mind. He won’t have the cows happily running up to him and greeting him when he was the first one to bring out a bale of hay. He felt like if he was here, he may have the confidence to tell Syd how he feels. But back home? It was another life. 

“Fine..things are..y’know. The usual shit. But nothing bad, no one’s getting locked in any freezers if that’s what you mean” she said playfully. 

Carm rolled his eyes with a light smile. “Mmhmm. So the restaurant is-“ 

“Is fine.” She said. “I’d have told you. You know that.” She said and he nodded a bit. 

“I know she scared you back there…but it’s pretty fun to go fast. You wanna try?” He asked. 

She shifted a bit uncomfortably, her hands tightening around his arms that were holding the reins around her waist. “Uhh…maybe? Are you sure we won’t fall off?” She questioned. 

“I’m sure. Here you can be the one to control it. Start light ok? With your legs.” He gently ran his hands down her thighs to right below her knees “here” he said softly, squeezing the flesh gently so she wouldn’t have to lean and look. “With that part of your legs, give her a little squeeze. But really light, or we’ll take out of here like a bat out of hell” he held around her waist again, securely holding the reins. 

“Mmhmm” she said, she was beginning to feel hot- and not because she’d done any hard work in regards to getting the horse ready. 

“Alright. Whenever you’re ready, you’re the boss” he said the last part softly in her ear. If it wasn’t for her jacket, he would see the goosebumps that had risen on her arms. She nodded quickly, staring straight ahead and trying to maintain her composure. 

“So I just?” She squeezed gently and the horse picks up her speed slightly. “Oh…ok” she said. 

“Told y’she was trained” Carmy teased and she rolls her eyes. 

“Mmm you’ve done a very good job, bribing this horse with peeps. The staff know you do this?” She asked. Carmy snorted a laugh

“No. But she’s healthy. Made sure. She only gets one or 2 if she doesn’t listen.” He admitted. 

She shook her head with a smile. “And how’d you find this out, Carm?” She leaned into him once more. 

“I…” he laughed a bit, his chest vibrating with the movement and it made her heart warm. 

“I uh…spent a few days in the library here. Reading up. After she threw me off. It’s all about trust with em. So I never lied to ‘er and I’ve never done something she didn’t expect because I always try to warn her.” He said, pulling her reigns a bit tighter. 

“This is like a joyride Syd cmon, I said fast not an evening stroll.” He teased. 

“Fine. Mister horse master- show me what Miss Stardust can do.” She said. 

With 2 kisses and a quick tap of his heel, they were off like a rocket. He held Syd steady, being sure she wouldn’t have to do most the work of holding herself center as he gripped each reign with the opposite hand, holding them taught so Star knew to keep going. 

Syd laughed, the wind flicking her dark curls all around. He wished she could see her amused expression. “Holy shit this is the best!” She shouted over the loud thuds of Stars hoofbeats. 

“I know right! Can you believe she can go faster?” He said, holding his knees taut around her hips to keep her from sliding. 

“Okay we are not! This is fine!” She said and sat up a bit “are we going into the-” She asks as Star begins to barrel through a creek, the freezing water spraying up and around them getting them slightly wet, the freezing water splashing from their calves up to their cheeks.. “CARMY!” She screams through laughter. 

He could barely catch his breath as he laughed so hard his stomach and ribs ached. “I’m sorry!! Syd! Oh god-“ he chuckled “woah girl- woah” he called to the course and she slowed down once again to a stop. 

“Fuck-“ Carmen chuckled “you okay?” He asked, picking a wet leaf from her jacket and throwing it to the forest floor. 

“Yeah- I’m.. I’m fine. That was really fun actually. C’mon I wanna see the spot” she said and took it upon herself to tug the reins so Star would take off again

“Shi-it!” He quickly finds his balance, “warn me!! Oh god I almost flew off!!” He told her. 

“You think I’d let her throw you off?” She mimics him from earlier and he takes the chance to playfully pinch her waist 

“Yes because who’s in back and who’s in front?” He wrapped his arms around her again, taking the reins from her grasp. “Your reign privileges have been revoked for this riding lesson, Ms.Adamu”  

She laughed a bit “I’ll earn them back. Don’t worry” she mused. 

“Mmm we need to talk about more shit before I just literally hand the reins over. Coulda spooked her and we’d be fuckin dead.” he angled the outside reigns so she’d slow down as they came to the clearing. 

“Here we are” he hopped off, raising his arms to help her down. 

She carefully reached out for him and he lifted her off, gently setting her down. “Holy fuck Carmy” she turned around, watching the waterfall cascade down over the rocks. 

“Right! Told you. It’s a fire spot” he went over to one of the rocks he usually sat at, plopping down and taking out a cigarette. “Oh- shit- can’t have y’running off” he told Stardust and chuckled, leaving the cigarette between his lips as he walked over to her, guiding her over to the tree, and hooking her right rein around a branch before sitting back down. 

“Yeah…I can’t remember the last time I went somewhere so…” she trailed off, looking at all the trees and running water. 

“Green?” Carmy lit his cigarette, taking a drag. “Not packed with smog? Somewhere that doesn’t smell like shit.” He said as he exhaled. 

“…yeah” she said and laughed a bit. “Yeah. Guess that’s it.” She came and sat next to him. “What did you mean about her getting scared?” She asked curiously. 

“Oh- a scared horse will fucking kill you. Not on purpose, but they’re big and pure muscle, and will do anything to get away from danger. I scared the shit out of her one time, that was it. Dislocated my shoulder 8th day here. Doing that hurts like a bitch by the way.” He rolled his shoulder gently. 

“How’d you manage that? God I knew you were shit at chatting up girls but she dislocated your shoulder?” She teased. 

He rolled his eyes with a playful smile, taking another drag. “Yes, I was fuckin around on the trail, dunno why- but there was this branch sticking out so I grabbed it, it snapped, she fuckin reeeared dude. I flew back so hard. My back might still be bruised I’m not sure. Still hurts a little to laugh” he said. 

“You better have seen a doctor” she said. 

“Ohhh silly Syd.” He sighed, a puff of smoke filling the air in front of him. “We aren’t allowed to refuse treatment here. If you get hurt, and you refuse to get help, it’s considered self harm, which leads to them believing you have suicidal ideation, which leads to you being locked in the actual nuthouse. So yes. I willingly went to the doctor daily for a week. And now, I’m being checked on once a week. So yeah. Oh and therapy daily. And every day I’m given my meds and someone checks over ‘pre-existing injuries’ which that is now considered. So yeah. I’m good. I’m fuckin fine as fine can be.” He said. 

“Awww poor little chef, being taken care of so well that’s so hard isn’t it?” She teased and he gives her a playful glare, but couldn’t help but crack a smile when he realized she was smiling too. 

“I was being taken care of fine at home by myself but you and my sister just had to ship me off after one tiny accident” he leaned back on his hand, taking another drag of his cigarette. 

“It stops becoming an accident when you didn’t care, Carm. You didn’t care. It didn’t phase you. You weren’t even…you weren’t even scared. Just because you didn’t do it on purpose doesn’t mean you did the sane thing which would have been doing everything you could to not let something like that happen.” She said, her tone suddenly serious. 

He looked down at his lap, swallowing thickly. He suddenly felt all of the armor he’d spent the last 31 days chipping at, slowly start to meld back together and shell him back in at the shame the whole situation was making him feel. 

“I have nightmares…you know. About it. What happened” she said quietly, and he could physically feel his heart ripping open. 

The only sound between them was the bubbling stream, and the sounds of their even breaths. 

“I’m sorry.” He said quietly, gaze fixed on his lap knowing he would burst into tears at the admission she’d been so deeply plagued by something he’d done, if he had looked at her.

“I know” was all she said, gently resting her hand on top of his. He felt the same fireworks exploding in his chest that he only ever felt when she was around. 

“Do you um…” he clears his throat and shook his head, embarrassed by the question plaguing his mind. “Never mind it’s..it’s stupid.” He removed his hand, putting his cigarette in it and resting the hand opposite of her on the rock. 

“That usually means it’s not stupid. What?” She coaxed, bumping his knee with hers gently. 

“It’s stupid” he said again, shrugging his shoulders. 

“It can’t be stupider then asking me what UPS means” She said playfully. He rolled his eyes, smiling and looking over at her. 

“And what if it is?” He questioned. 

“I would be..worried they’re giving you a bad concoction of meds that’s turning your glorious chef brain in to Swiss cheese” she teased 

He snorts a laugh. “I was gonna ask..if you wanted to cook..t’night. My cabin…it uh- has a kitchen? I haven’t cooked in a month. They give us food so I haven’t really bothered but…seeing you makes me miss it more, I guess” he blushed, looking back down at his lap. 

“Well obviously. Not gonna let you eat whatever bullshit they’ve been giving you while I’m around.” She said and he shook his head, meeting her gaze once more with a playful smirk. 

“Maybe you should check in. My therapist says it’s bad apparently to feel ‘responsible for others’ - says it’s a ‘subconscious self harming behavior’ “ he teased. 

She smiled a bit. “Okay- say I do. How about, I check in now, we shoot the shit for what- eleven more days- then, you go back home- and see how stressful it is in that restaurant when one of your hands is basically missing” she plucked the cigarette bud he’d forgotten about from between his fingers before it burnt him, flicking it into the creek. 

“You know that’s the first time I’ve seen you smoke- other then…me like checking on you when you were about to explode at work. But you’ve never…pulled one out and smoked it I guess” she said, pulling her knees to her chest and resting her cheek on her forearm as she looked at him. 

“Oh…” he said, pulling one of his legs up and resting his arm on it. “Didn’t realize you noticed” he said, brushing some dirt off his jeans. 

“I notice a lot of stupid shit about you, it’s kinda annoying honestly.” She said without thinking, her eyes widening when she realized and she looked the other way, resting her other cheek on her knee and squeezing her eyes shut. 

Why would you ever say that?! She asked herself internally. 

“Oh?” He said again, smiling a bit. “You do?” He questions, but that was as far as he’d push. 

“Mhm” was all she responded. Carmys phone started buzzing in his pocket and he pulled it out in case it was one of the ‘base keepers’ they called them. Carmy rather call them babysitters. He knew what they were for, being sure if they were out of sight too long they were making sure they could still get ahold of them. 

He sighed in relief when he saw it was just his 2:40 alarm. “Gotta go” he stood up, offering his hand to Syd. “Like- now. Or my ass is getting chewed out.” 

The ride back to the cabins was mostly silent. He had no stool this time, so he had to pick up Syd essentially by the ass and gently place her on Stars back so she didn’t get spooked. 

He was embarassed as fuck that the tiny action had the crotch region of his jeans tightening more then was casually explainable. Thank god no one was around to see him awkwardly hop in the way of his semi hard third leg down his left pant leg, grunting but covering it with a dry cough when she settled her ass back into him to ‘center their gravity’ 

Syd absolutely felt the firmness pressing into her ass. She thought it was a bit funny, but also brushed it off to the strange friction that came with riding a horse. She couldn’t allow herself to fully believe his teenage like excitement was due to her, or she’d go insane. 

Carmy dropped Syd off at his cabin, giving her the key and telling her he’d put up Stardust and be back by 5, she would be blushing if it weren’t for her mahogany complexion at the domesticity of it all - er what she could imagine domesticity with Carmy would feel like. 

Her panties were also soaked through from the feeling of his enormous length pressed into the curve of her ass - the entire way back - but she just chalked that up to not getting laid for a few months, and misreading his natural arousal for him being horny- she quickly pushed the thought down and just chalked it up to the horse. Because guys get hard when they ride horses…right? Right?!

Carmen arrived to therapy extremely frustrated, and extremely ready to talk. He sat down in his regular spot in the back, tapping his knee nervously and covering his crotch with his hands. Luckily, thinking about his mother was enough to make him soft nearly instantly so he had that to thank her for at least. 

“Alright guys!” Julienne, the usual Friday therapist came in, sitting in her spot in the circle. “Who is up today! We are-“ she looks at her iPad “oh! Yes this is another OP class, so- no pressure but, I wanna hear what’s goin on!” She crossed her legs. 

Julie was far from his favorite therapist, at Blue Lotus. But he wasn’t his least favorite. So he would still talk. He cleared his throat, raising his hand slightly. 

“Carmy?! What a treat! Okay what’s up” she grabbed her little stylus pencil. He bit the inside of his lip nervously. He despised how casual she tried to make this all feel. 

“Uh…so- my um…business partner, she came to see me. I guess I haven’t been…keeping touch? Enough? She just said she was worried…” he cleared his throat again, gaze fixed on his lap. “And uh…I’m startin’ t’-t’realize stuff?” He sniffled nervously, rubbing his mouth with slightly clammy, nervous hands. 

“She uh..” he chuckled a bit. “She…she just…showed up. Didn’t hear shit from ‘er. She probably knew that I’d uh…I’d tell ‘er no?” He finally meets the gaze of Julie. 

“Okay. You know guests are allowed right? Like- during the visiting hours, 6am to 11pm, no fraternizing between patients but-“ Carmen cuts her off

“We aren’t - no. Not fraternizing” He shook his head. “But uh…today? We were- we were sitting. This spot, near uh, Jupiter point? On the north side. And I had this- this urge T-to tell her…everything.” He shook his head, looking at the floor again. 

“So…you wanted to tell her you love her?” Jesse, one of the guys he’d had lunch with a few times piped up. 

“T’be honest, I don’t know.” Carmen said honestly, looking at him. 

“Well what does it feel like?” Jesse asked, sitting up a bit. 

“What? Like- what does what feel like?” Carmen asked curiously. 

“Her. Being with her. Talking to her? Inside. Like. Your chest. Your skin?” He questioned. 

“Uh…” Carmen sat back, swallowing thickly and crossing his arms over his chest. He thought for a moment. 

“Hot. I get hot. All over. My chest feels tight but - but good? Like- a hug almost. And then…when she…” he blushed, looking down with a shy smile. “When she touches me” he shook his head slightly. “When she touches me it’s like um.. fireworks? Like fireworks beneath my skin.” He chuckled a bit at how cheesy it sounded. 

“And you haven’t fucking nailed her?” Jessie asked plainly. 

Carmen furrowed his brows, glaring at him. “No” he clenched his jaw “I haven’t.” He snips. 

“Dude- you are- pussy whipped with no pussy?! You- you love her, Carmen. You love this chick. I feel like I’m looking in a weird straight mirror - the first time-“ he laughed a bit “the first time I kissed a guy- god. He was so hot. But I had no idea! I had no idea. I really thought that I was just-“ he shook his head “that I was just wanting to befriend him? Or something? But like- I wanted to fuck him. And when I did kiss him? Something unlocked in my brain dude. It was like…like a whole new world. I felt like I knew - I knew what love could feel like? Just ‘cause of that one kiss “ he shrugged. 

Carmen looked at him, arms crossed, trying to absorb everything he was saying even though every fiber of his former self was screaming to take it with nothing more than a grain of salt. 

“Kiss her dude. Kiss her.” Jesse said and sat back in his chair. 

“Well. Although, consensual sexual instances are against the code of conduct to discuss - I am very proud to see you two coming out of your shells. Has anyone else felt… confused in their romantic endeavors and would like to share?” Julie asked. 

Carmen crossed his arms tighter, looking down at his lap. This was quite unusual for him, he was one of the patients to only add what he had to to be credited during inpatient, and during outpatient - only spoke when he really and honestly had to. 

“Uh-“ the super tall girl, Shayna sits up. Carmen was never really sure why she was here. She looked…perfect by all means. Perfect skin, perfect nails, pretty face, long blonde hair, a perfect body by girl standards. Or at least what Carmen had understood of them.

 “Not really the same.. but before I came out? I like…I would uh buy…girl clothes. That I liked. For my girlfriends at the time…” she blushed “and um.. I realized after a while that I liked them. And I wasn’t just..wanting to see my girlfriend in them. And like- it’s not the exact same, but when he said… about how Jesse realized he wanted the guy. That’s how I felt when I finally tried the clothes on” she shrugged. 

Carmen was…aghast. He just simply stared at her. He’d never met- or thought-  he’d ever met a trans person before today. But…Shayna? 

Well- he was wrong because he had met her, they actually knew each other fairly well as far as patients go, she joined the program when he did. When they first met, she’d made a joke about how they were the tallest girl and shortest guy in the class, so that meant they were bound to be friends, since opposites attract - and that earned a chuckle out of him before his meds had even fully evened out. 

“I love the cis-and-confused look- it’s cute” she said and laughed a bit. Carmen blushed, smiling a bit. 

“Not confused- well, maybe. Maybe a little. Y’Just so…dainty? I dunno..” he shrugged. 

“In case you haven’t noticed- mr.little man syndrome- you’re only one out with the cows doing the hay on time in the morning. Ninty percent of the group is your version of dainty ” Jesse teased. 

“Jesse” Julie gives him the look. “I’d assume that means- the rest of you that aren’t out helping with the bales- are scraping out the cow pens? Since Carmen is doing all the hard work according to you.” 

“I’m not girl- fuck no! The second I got out of inpatient house arrest? I walked my happy ass down to Walmart and bought me some blackout curtains. I recommend those to all of you! Oh my god and some ear plugs!! The stupid fucking roosters! Worst 15 days of my lifeee! I’m never coming back here peace and love to you all though. Truly. Can’t stand this cow shit stank ass place.”  Shayna said dramatically, causing Carmen to chuckle a bit.

 He had loved her boldness since they’d met. If Shayna didn’t want to do something- she wasn’t doing it. He learned that the day the staff tried to force her on anti-depressants. One of the main therapists got a Wellbutrin straight to the eye, they never attempted that battle the same way again. 

“We know Shayna you aren’t shoveling scat, princesses don’t do that” Jesse mocked her valley girl tone. 

“Okay! Okay. Alriiiight! Back on track- done with the bickering!” Julie said. “Now that open call is over let’s move on to breakthroughs. This issss-“ she looks at her iPad “ah- yes! D group. So. That makes it-“ he checks her watch “ah- right. 11 days! How are your light tunnel projects going?” She questioned. 

Carmen’s chest tightened, but not in the Syd is smiling or he made Syd laugh way- in the - I haven't done something I was meant to do way. 

The Light Tunnel project wasn’t hard. It was simply one thing you have done that you had wanted to do when you came into the program. And Carmy knew what his answer was, 

Admit how he felt to Sydney. 

Or, as his Therapist- Mandy told him ‘become more truthful with yourself and those you know about how you feel’ because “counting on someone to like him back would put him at square one” he had pretended to understand, but knew that he had to tell her and soon - or he was going to really go insane. 

“ my light tunnel was to talk to my asshole father- but lucky for me I just caught wind the motherfucker finally died thank god. So by default I win and don’t have to be here anymore cause his abandonment was what fucked me up anyhow“ Shayna said jokingly, causing Carm to snort a laugh. He knew she was only joking about the leaving early part, not the father part. Her father was an even bigger piece of shit then Carmen’s was, he had come to learn.

“Mmm that isn’t how it works we know that Shayna. We’ll talk more about this in one to one “ Julie told her and Shayna crossed her long legs, looking out the window. 

The last 20 minutes of the session Carmen sat silently, looking out the opposite window to Shayna, watching the horses running around in the field before they got called in for dinner and just spacing out, thinking about what he may say to Syd. 

“Yo - Carm space cadet” Shayna said before kicking his boot he jumped a bit, looking up at them both and had realized the room since had cleared and Julie was preparing for her next session. 

“Shit.” He said “how long have I been like…like that?” He asked, his cheeks feeling hot. 

“It’s the OCD meds. They get you stuck in a happy thought loop sometimes. Are you just gonna sit here? You wanna do another hour of this with sniveling group a? They got here three days ago.” Jesse said. Carm shook his head, getting up. 

“No- no sorry” he said starting with them outside. Shayna laughed a bit 

“You were thinking of screwing that business partner aren’t you. “ she said, causing Carmys cheeks to go pinker. 

“Shayna shut up!” Jesse scolded, pushing her shoulder lightly. 

“Awwww carmyyy are your feelings hurt little buddy? Do you need a hug? Jesus men are such pussys” she pushed open the doors of the therapy cabin for them. 

“Let me see pictures of this hot chick. If you don’t fuck her I will and I bet I’d do a better job” Shayna teased as they started heading back towards the cabins. 

Carmen couldn’t even process what she said as he felt his breath get caught in his chest, he saw her. She was sitting on the porch of his cabin, criss-cross in one of the rocking chairs as she writes in her notebook. He couldn’t help but stop and stare at the way the setting sun hit her bronze skin, her curls casting intricate patterned shadows on the wood. He felt his heart pick up, his chest squeezing in that way, the way that only happened when he saw her. 

Shayna and Jesse stopped after a few moments when they realized Carm had gotten stuck behind. They both follow his gaze carefully to see what he was so fixed on, like a trance. 

“Holy fuuuck!!! Holy fuck how did I get this lucky!! She’s here? She’s here still?!” Shana asked excitedly, “oh my god- you’re getting laid- tonight” she excitedly skips up to the cabin and Syd looks up, locking eyes with her before seeing Carmen just a few paces behind.  “I’m Shayna! Do you and Carm wanna hang out with us tonight?”

➵ 𝐍𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ♡♡♡

[l-norris]

Canadian GP 2024 Recap

This is becoming a series now I fear.

This race was utter madness and I was in SHAMBLES by the end of it.

Enjoy me going crazy for the next few paragraphs.

As last time, numbers in brackets are laps. (That I definitely didn't forget to add the first few laps)

PRE-RACE

- Ruth Buscombe calling Esteban "Estie bestie"😶‍🌫️

- Beautiful anthem!

- Apparently Yuki was late for the anthem? Bro's getting detention💀

- Zak and Toto chatting away

- Landoscar spotted‼️

- Danny Ric getting his shoes cleaned like the king he is

RACE!

- The intro is playing and I'm anxiously chewing on my fingernails already

- Accidentally had German commentary on - disgusting

- It's pissing down by the way.

- This one will need actual strategies... rip to Ferrari.

- Logan outqualified Checo just as a reminder

- Saubers starting from pitlane

- Carnage? Yes? No? We'll see.

- The pre-race anxiety keeps building up

- Formation lap starting!

- We get it Crofty, they resurfaced the track.

- Formation lap complete.

- IT'S LIGHTS OUT AND AWAY WE GO

- No crashes into the first two turns?

- Nevermind, someone went flying (Pierre pushed Checo into the grass)

- George is still in the lead! YIPPEE!

- Charles fumbled😞

- Carlos fumbled too😭

- Horrible day for Tifosi 2.0

- Kmag gaining like 100 positions in 2 laps

-Funky Danish man just FLEW to P4

- CHARLES ENGINE ISSUES? DON'T DO THIS TO ME

- 1st yellow flag. Oh Logan...

- At least he's back to pace

- Lewis binning it

- Fernando almost kissing the fucking wall lmao

- Kmag 8 second pitstop rip

- Daniel apparently did a false start🫣

- It's not raining anymore apparently but no slicks in sight just yet (understandably so)

- Hulk is holding onto these full wets like a lifeline

- Hulk train!

- Daniel 5 second penalty😮‍💨

- Max is closing in on George

- Lando closing in on Max and George

- Yeah, uh... Haas fumbled btw

- Lando keeps setting fastest laps

- Max went wide omg

- Lando is catching Max (17)

- DRS enabled (18)

- Oscar fastes lap (19)

- HELP THIS IS SO NERVE WRACKING

- LANDO OVERTOOK MAX

- LANDO ON THE WAY TO THE LEAD

- HE'S LEADIIIIING (22)

- AND MAX PASSES GEORGE AS WELL

- Oh my God this is stressful

- Lando is driving like his life is depending on it

- I mean... it kinda is.

- both Ferraris out of the points by the way... sigh

- quick toilet break, hope I don't miss anything

- Jinxed it. I missed a crash. Hm.

- SAFETY CAR. (26)

- ... Of course it was Logan... poor man

- Lando missed the chance to pit😭

- There's still hope for Lando.

- He pits (27)

- ... He came back in third...

- "FUCK!" As Lando once said

- Let's hope Lando can pick up the pace again after this

- Charles retiring?? Restarting the car?? Idk man.

- HUH??? Also on slicks? (28)

- Safety Car in (29)

- 40 laps to go

- Pain and suffering

- Ferrari fucked it

- Lewis is probably rethinking if he wants to join Ferrari after all rn

- And Charles is back in the pits😮‍💨

- Charles is getting lapped now. Fun. (37)

- Lando is my last hope

- I'm so tired (no literally I should be getting ready to go to bed lmao)

- DRS would be nice right about now

- IT HAS BEEN ENABLED (40)

- We have 30 laps to go and I'm seriously debating on whether I should just go to bed

- Pierre is on slicks (41)

- And immediately bins it (but saves it)

- Lando is lawnmowing

- Charles is retiring (43)

- I can't do this no more

- Slicks are coming out

- Lando stays out??

- Overcut? (44)

- OVERCUT!

- ... nevermind...

- And George got Lando too🫣

- Nevermind ahaha he's back up in 2nd

- Max complaining and setting fastest laps continuously.

- Checo fucked his rearwing

- Carlos binned it

- Which made Alex bin it

- Safety Car 2.0

- Both Ferrari out😮‍💨

- Both Williams out🫣

- I'm seeing a pattern here.

- oh no hopefully I'm not jinxing it

- Max is pulling away... yawn...

- 7 laps left

- George binning it while trying to overtake Oscar

- Let Oscar cook Goddammit!

- Oscar has to deal with Lewis now

- Aaaand he's gone.

- Oscar is struggling man

- Merc boys battling it out over P3

- Yuki destroying that one damn bollard everyone ignores consistently (thank you king)

- Lando wanting a Safety Car (same)

- But alas... Max Verstappen wins once more.

- I honestly turned off the broadcast as soon as the top 3 crossed the finish line

- I stayed up late for THIS???

- Conflicted whether it was worth it or not tbh

- Like yes it was an exciting race BUT😭

- I want my McLaren double podium RIGHT NOW

All in all, it was a pretty chaotic race. Yeah. That sums it up pretty well.

[flyingfabio]

why do people on this app love to act like the gp23 is shit? like whaaat

yeah it's crazy lmao. you would think they're talking about a honda or a yamaha or something

and like ok i get it. the gap between the gp24 and the gp23 is bigger than the gap was between the gp22 and the gp23 but like. come on now. diggia who should be in an hospital bed and bezzecchi who struggles real bad with the new rear tire are fighting with or ending up in front of 2024 ktms and aprilias.

of course marc outperforms the gp23 as he's able to hang with gp24s from time to time. but do i think his points of comparison are rather weak right now? yes i do. i for one would be really curious of what acosta could do on a gp23

[riacte]

Damn, early 2024' s being really quiet in the renchanting front, innit? Especially after those last months of 2023

(Totally not trying to wish smth into reality lmao)

It really is ;-; do something babe say something

To be fair we’re like half a month into 2024. And the reason why it’s quiet it’s because they’re cooking up something for HC10 [misinfo] [not even hermit truthing I just instinctively doubt Martyn]

Also Renchanting feels like the opposite of recency bias lmao (anchor bias?) bc they met in 3L and was like. Yeah this guy changed me fundamentally and literally never stopped. It’s actually crazy how Treebark is still one of the biggest trafficships despite Ren not being in the last two series— his legacy and presence carries on. You and me together forever.

[petit-papillion]

there's a lot of misinformation going around as far as lewis' signing goes. there's a few things i know/have heard from legitimate sources. from people who know their shit and how ferrari operates.

it was decided pretty early on that sainz might be replaced. uhh beginning of the season, early. vasseur noticed certain things and patterns which raised some alarm bells.

there were a few replacements lined up, sainz was third or fourth on the list, allegedly.

they had given sainz contract proposals, he refused to sign. rather whoever was negotiating on his behalf would more often than not fuck up the negotiations.

charles was, without a doubt, consulted. they don't need to consult him with regards to the second seat, not really. but ferrari *has* been building itself around charles. especially under fred. and charles was *very* receptive of the idea. as someone on twitter said earlier, people think he's stupid but he's just crazy lmao

charles signed the contract fully knowing that lewis might come on board. he was not at all blindsided. this isn't Binotto's ferrari where they backstab willy nilly. honesty is valued here.

both of them knew what they're stepping into :)

Hi Anon! (Saw your other ask as well - will post it separately)

Definitely a lot of misinformation, but also some really sour Carlos and Mercedes fans. I can understand this is a tough pill to swallow for some, but if you look at it objectively (yeah, I know, hard for me as a Charles-fan as well), the writing was on the wall for a long time.

Charles expressing how he had faith in Fred and the project. Willing to play second fiddle for the team in Singapore so Fred could bring home a win. Fred calling out Carlos when he was talking BS in post-race media pen.

Rumors swirling about Charles having signed his contract. Charles being completely unbothered about contract renewal was a sharp contrast against Carlos stressing that he wanted his future with Ferrari sorted before 2024.

Estrella Galica, Carlos's sponsor, leaving Ferrari. Monster Energy leaving Mercedes, but keeping their sponsorship with Lewis. (Which reminds me of a post in my drafts that I made before the Lewis to Ferrari bomb dropped. Related to new sponsor Peroni. Will post later)

And rumors about Lewis moving to Ferrari as early as May last year. More interactions between Charles and Lewis, including their famous joint DSQ post - could also have been to test the waters and see how they got along / how people responded to them together.

Mercedes giving Lewis the Bottas treatment of a 1-year contract leaving the door wide open for him to look elsewhere. Lewis complaining (a lot) about not being listened to regarding changes to the car.

And let's face it, if you had the opportunity to snap up a 7x wdc with a huge following, great sponsorships, and a massive potential for merchandising, all aside from being an outstanding driver who your homegrown future champion can learn from, you'd be an absolute idiot not to go for it.

As for Charles not being on board with this: not buying it for a second. Will elaborate more another time.

[namtanlovesfilm]

a ranking & summary of my thoughts on gmmtv 2024 part 1

pluto: this is my everything already. A GL??? with two of my fave actresses film & namtan??? AND a complex, interesting plot??? I'm obsessed already!!! this looks so good I'm so happy it's happening & it will become my whole personality once it airs!!!

the trainee: I genuinely believed, even with the rumors that off, gun, view, kapook & sea would be in a show together, that we wouldn't get an offgun show this year. AND I WAS WRONG!!! is this what it's like to always fucking win??? like genuinely, my ship is THAT ship, I'm so lucky & happy and I love them so much <3

peaceful property on sale: duuuude, this looks so fun??? I was already hooked when I saw new's over the top character, but a ghost haunting show with taynew, jan & mook??? absolutely incredible! this looks ridiculous & I know I'm gonna love every second of it!

my golden blood: bruh, thank goodness I was warned about jossgawin in advance or I might have had a heart attack, but honestly????? THEY ATE THAT! and mond playing the villain????? babe, that casting is incredible & perfect, I'm obsessed!!! I usually don't like supernatural stuff but I was also a teen wolf fan bruh so atp I'm gonna EAT that shit UP!!!

wandee goodday: you might not know it, but I have a super power. every time I start being a fan of someone who hasn't done bl, they do bl the following year. this year it was nonkul, and next year it's gonna be great sapol. AND I LOVE THAT FOR ME!!! this looks really good & fun, the characters are interesting and the story not too crazy or too basic. I can feel that it's gonna be good!

ploy's yearbook: a female-led show & the return of mond as a main??? BLESS!!! I love most of this cast, this looks fun as hell, I adore my gmmtv girlies... gotta watch this for sure! love seeing earth in more roles outside of his ship too!

enigma 2: I still haven't watched season one, am planning on watching it very soon, but I've heard great things so I'll be sure to catch season two as well! especially since I really liked toey jarinporn in the recent lakorn to the moon and back so I'm excited to see how she does!

my precious the series: as you know I've watched the movie in theaters, but I'm excited for it to be out as a series too, especially since there's extra scenes! seems like it might be even more lovable, and also if it's on gmmtv's youtube channel I'll finally be able to gif the iconic scenes :')

high school frenemy: this looks interesting & I like sky, but I feel like the plot doesn't make sense if it's not a love story... idk I feel like since this is adapted from a kdrama it's just gonna be a frustrating story that should be a romance but is reduced to bromance instead... I might still watch though :')

only boo: this looks kinda cute though basic. I don't know both main leads but might watch it.

we are: this has all ships I like, especially marcpawin & aouboom who deserve more spotlight, so I will be watching, but the plot seems really basic so I'm not expecting anything out of this world...

kidnap: this plot seems interesting but the cast isn't so... yeah.

summer night: I was so confused by who is supposed to be with who in the show lol, honestly I was down for dunkphuwin lmao, but this looks too messy for me :')

my love mix-up: I absolutely despise remakes even though I enjoyed kieta hatsukoi & like geminifourth, and although I'm certain this version will fix the chemistry issues of the original, I'm not gonna be watching it.

ossan's love thailand: same thing as for the previous show but even more so bc ossan's love is such a product of its time & shouldn't be remade in 2024 imo...