#BP1

[talkingparrotkee]

MCU's Black Panther blessed us with pretty melanated and/or indigenous people. I fell to my knees.

Wakandan

Talokanil

African American

[dmysterioblog]

Can you do a dark Queen Romanda after the death of t’Chaka she is after she will lose reader who was her best friend since they were infants so she gets one of the Dora milajes to kidnap her and keep her in her corridors were no one is allowed and can you add some smut and thank you.

➺ For Your Own Good

Paring; dark!soft!Queen Ramonda x Reader

Summary: “When she was told of her husband’s death she was devastated of course, but the first thing on her mind was you. She couldn’t let another person she loved to get killed, not under her watch. She thought the best way to keep you safe was to have you with her at all times, whether you liked it or not.”

Warnings: kidnapping, smut, death (T’Chaka) and fluff.

Word Count: 1.2k

A/n: I hope this is what you wanted!

You and Ramonda have always been close since you were kids in the river tribe. At some point during the friendship she had fallen in love with you and you did too but the romance was cut short when Ramonda found out she was being married off to the soon–to–be king, T’Chaka. It was a devastating moment for both of you. Before Ramonda left, she promised you she would never stop loving you and that she would always keep an eye on you and gave you one last kiss before boarding the ship. While her marriage with T’Chaka was arranged, she learned to love him but that love would never exceed her love for you.

♤♧♡♢

Years passed and Ramonda always found a way to see you, even if it was from afar. She always had a Dora watching you at all times to make sure you were safe. No one knew about you, only the Dora Ramonda sent knew about you and she made sure they wouldn’t say anything.

When she was told of her husband’s death she was devastated of course, but the first thing on her mind was you. She couldn’t let another person she loved to get killed, not under her watch. She thought the best way to keep you safe was to have you with her at all times, whether you liked it or not.

♤♧♡♢

Ramonda was in the throne room when she summoned the general of the Dora Milaje, Okoye.

“Kumkanikazi, you summoned me?”

“Yes, I need you to retrieve someone and I want you to be discreet.”

“Who am I retrieving?”

“I need you to bring me Y/n. She is in the river tribe. Do whatever you have to do but make sure no one sees you come in with her. When you do bring her here, take her to my private chambers. Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes, yam Kumkanikazi.” Okoye bowed and left the throne room to retrieve you.

♤♧♡♢

You were in your room when you heard a knock at the door. When you opened the door you were greeted by whom you thought was a Dora Milaje.

“Um hi? How can I help you?”

“I’ve come to take you to the palace.”

“Says who?”

“I was given specific instructions to be discreet about this. So, I cannot say.”

“Well then I am not going anywhere,” you said firmly.

“Don’t make this harder than it has to be.”

“Goodbye,” you tried to close the door but Okoye put her spear in between the door and door frame so you couldn’t close it.

“What is your-” before you could finish your sentence you felt her place something on your temple and you blacked out.

♤♧♡♢

When you woke up, you found yourself laying on a giant bed in a very spacious room. You sat up confused about how you got there until all the memories from yesterday started flowing back. You in your room, the knock at the door, the Dora, and then all black. You started to panic but then the door to the room opened to reveal Ramonda.

“Ramonda? What's going on?” you asked in a panicked voice. She came closer and sat on the bed with her arms open for you to come closer. You, still confused, went to her embrace and felt a bit relieved.

“Calm down, ingelosi. I'm here to protect you.”

“Protect me? From who?”

“You know the people who killed T’Chaka?,” you nodded, “They are trying to take you away from me too,” she finished saying. She knew it was wrong to lie to you but she wouldn’t let you leave, she couldn’t. She pulled you impossibly closer to her and kissed your head.

“Who are those bad people?”

“You don’t have to worry about that anymore because you have me,” she pulled away and cupped your face, “and I have you right? You’re mine?” she asked, looking at you in the most loving way possible and you nodded again.

“Use your words, sithandwa.”

“Yes, I am yours,” you said with no hesitation. She smiled and gave you a long and passionate kiss, “All mine,” she mumbled in the kiss. She slowly started to push you to lay down on the bed while she got on top of you, all without stopping the kiss.

“Can I take this off honey?” she asked, referring to the green dress you were wearing. You nodded but she raised her eyebrow and you understood she needed verbal consent.

“Yes,” you said.

She started peeling the dress off of your body, taking her time and putting it aside. She caressed your body with her hands and started kissing each part she could find. She kissed your neck and your chest, before making her way down your body with her tongue. You had your eyes closed, loving every second of it.

When she got to where you needed her the most, she stopped which made you open your eyes. When you made eye contact, she licked a stipe up your pussy which made your release a loud moan. She kept licking your pussy and you threw your head back in pleasure. You felt yourself coming closer to the edge and your breath started to pick up.

“Ramonda- I’m close,” you said in an agitated voice, with your hands gripping the bed sheets.

“Are you going to cum for me, nkosazana?”

“Yes, yes. Please don’t stop.” She kept going and then inserted two fingers thrusting them fast, hitting your g-spot.

“Who do you belong to now, sithandwa? Hm?” you tried to respond but you were caught up in the immense amount of pleasure. When you didn’t respond she slowed down and you whined. She went up your body all the way to your ear.

“Tell me usana or ill stop altogether,” she whispered.

“You! You! I belong to you! Please let me cum, please?”

“Good girl,” she praised and sped up again. She went down again and started to suck on your swollen clit. That got you over the edge. She came up to your ear and whispered sweet nothings while still thrusting her fingers to let you ride your high. You closed your legs around her hand from the overstimulation.

“Is too much-” you whimpered. She pulled her hand away and shushed you with a kiss. You moved closer to her, laying your head on her chest.

“When will I be able to leave, Ramonda?” she tensed at your question.

“You can’t leave, ingelosi. How can I protect you if I don't have you by my side, hm? This is for your own good.”

“But-”

“But nothing. I can't lose you too.” That made you go silent for a second.

“I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked such a dumb question.” you kissed her neck.

“Shh, it's ok nkosazana. Get some rest, you're probably tired,” she said before kissing your forehead. You nodded and cuddled closer to her, hiding your face in her neck. Soon enough, you felt your eyes get heavy, the warmth of her body lulling you to sleep. She heard your soft snoring and she smiled knowing she finally had you all to herself.

[caseyscraftycorner]

a little thing i made after my most recent brush with hypomania. i've always struggled to explain to people what the 'core' of mania is, since it can take on so many feelings. for me at least, i think this is it. this is what mania is at it's core.

[jarate-pissman]

Finally left that group! Was never listened to, never cared about, and now I am feeling delightfully depressed and suicidal because it seems the people I thought were my friends don't care either! (Yay). Anyways, fuck those monsters at tf2-ask. And in particular: Fuck Zoey. I'll be sure to carve your disgusting name into my arm.

Anyways, I'm taking a hiatus from Tumblr and all Social Media, as you all continue to disappoint me without end.

It's funny when no one ever realises that the person behind the account is suffering, unless they say something. And even when they do say something, you all think they want attention. Well, I guess the internet does turn you all into soulless monsters. You don't consider how there could possibly be a human being on the other side of the screen. Even if they send a picture; it's just a face. It doesn't mean anything.

It's okay to talk about your feelings, as long as you aren't me. Oh yeah... I'm unemployed again as well. For the seventh time in... 3 years. This time was because I wasn't getting paid enough, but I suppose you don't want to hear about my life. You just want to know about the details of the shitty stuff.

So here it is:

[silkense]

i dont want this disorder anymore

[bipolarwitchcraft]

balancing spirituality with bipolar (and other mental illness)

a bit about me, @bipolarwitchcraft! i'm 22 years old, i've been diagnosed with bipolar 1, and been practicing my craft for a almost 2 years. i wanted to make this post as a fellow bipolar witch, because this is not something i see talked about in mainstream sources. i hope this can post can help other bipolar and mentally ill beginner witches start to balance their journeys. i also want to say thank you so much to those who shared their stories with me to help make this post happen! you have helped more than you will ever know! 

thank you to @gwynfrew @picturesimlivinthru @caninevampire @hawthorndruid and @thenorserose for taking the time to take my survey and share your stories with me. your answers were all truly beautiful, and you are all beautiful souls. 

how can spirituality help your healing journey?

i want to first talk about spirituality as a tool to help you along your healing journey. spirituality, no matter what you believe in has been a proven tool to help healing. if you've ever been to some sort of therapy, you know how they preach mind body and soul alignment for healing. spirituality can help the soul heal and grow, and help you make sense of the world around you. many mentally ill witches claimed that since starting their craft, their life has completely changed. spirituality gave them a new outlook on life and has positively impacted their lives and healing journeys. spirituality can be a helpful tool in one's healing tool box. however, it can be a catalyst of triggers for some. spirituality should never be used at a replacement for actual medical help. take your meds and go to therapy, and then turn to spirituality.

personally, my spiritual journey kick started my healing journey. my healing journey has made SIGNIFICANT progress since incorporating my healing with my spirituality. both my journeys started as hectic and confusing, but i'm finally in a place where i am comfortable to share my experiences in hopes it helps others. i feel it is important for fellow mentally ill witches to have resources that cater to them, as well as a community to support them.

distinguishing between sign and symptoms.

so you've started your spiritual journey, now how do you distinguish from what's a sign and what's a symptom. this is a lot easier said than done, and varies incredibly person to person. with the help of some fellow tumblr witches, here are some tips to help you start to distinguish between the two:

the first tip is to make sure you are in the right mindset to do anything spiritual. we all know factors like stress or exhaustion can affect our mental health, but it can also affect our craft. make a rule with yourself to only interpret or to witchy things when you know you're in the right mindset. personally, i don’t do any heavy spiritual work during episodes, because i don't want my interpretations to be biased based off how my episode is making me feel. if you're not in the right mindset for spiritual work, but still want to do something witchy, things like self care a great way to help heal and add some magic in your life.  

another tip that is great advice for any new witch: WRITE IT DOWN. i personally, have a journal and a grimoire. in my journal i do a daily symptom check in with myself and shadow work. it's important to have record and understand what your individual mental illness looks like on you before you can try to explore potential signs. my grimoire is where i write anything related to my spiritual life. any divination interpretation, potential signs and their interpretations, spells/rituals, meanings, ect. go on the grimoire. when you're writing in either journal or grimoire, think about how the sign/symptom makes you feel. what does the energy feel like? what does your intuition say?intuition is one of your greatest tools, but hardest to build confidence in. keep in mind intuition can be wrong. really analyze it. write it down, put it away, and revisit it with a new mindset. once you're more comfortable in your craft, and have a good understanding of your mental illness, things like gut feelings can start to be trusted more. have a gut feeling something is a sign? write it down and analyze it later once the spiritual feeling has passed. if it still feel like a sign, it probably is!

writing down shadow work and doing daily check ins with myself has help me identify my symptoms. knowing your symptoms and knowing how you feel when experiencing them will help you distinguish between them and signs. 

writing down signs and the feeling you associated with it helps you remember them when those signs are confirmed!

meditate on it out. just like writing it down, meditation can help you really analyze an experience. put up your mental and spiritual protections and really examine and think about the potential sign. still struggle with meditation? here’s what helps me meditate as someone who can’t quiet my mind.   

guided meditations are a great tool to help tackle specific meditations. youtube is a great source for free ones! 

put on some meditation music, light some candles, get your space cleansed and protected and find a comfortable place to sit or go on a a walk! 

i used to think meditation meant thinking of nothing and letting knowledge present itself. however, the easiest way to meditate for me is to allow my thoughts to race, but keep them directed at the thing i am meditating on. am i meditating on a potential sign? how does that sign make me feel? whats its energy? is it harmful to believe in?  

 its okay if your mind wanders away from what your mediting on, just realize you let your mind wander and just bring it back. meditation is hard and takes practice! it's all about the energy and how it makes you feel. find a meditation practice that works for you!

still not sure? try rationalizing signs as if they are symptoms. do they make sense as a symptom? does it feel over the top? is it possibly grandiose in nature? are you currently experiencing other symptoms along side it? if you are, it’s worth putting that sign away and coming back to it later. 

even an increase in interest in your spirituality is something worth considering. hyper spirituality often goes along side mania type symptoms. 

remember its okay if it is a symptom! identifying the difference is important to both your healing and spiritual journeys!`

signs will feel energetically different than symptoms. focus on that energy 

remember, even if we are searching, spiritual experiences happen randomly, not because of our behavior. 

no one can tell you for sure if something is a sign, that is up to you to find out. hopefully these tips can help you start distinguishing signs from symptoms. using tools like divination can help confirm these signs if you are still unsure. i prefer yes/no type divination. candle divination, dowsing rods, pendulums, and tarot pulls are divination techniques i use when i know something isn't is symptom, but am still unsure of the sign.  

communicating with deities and spirits.

if you do not work with deities and spirits, that's okay! not every witch works with deities or spirits, and it is certainly not a requirement to practice witchcraft. everyone has a different story on how they started deity/spirit work, and if you have just started your work you might be wondering how to communicate with them. remember to go back to is it a sign or symptom if you are unsure how your work is being affected or effecting your mental health. personally, deity and spirit work can play into my mania symptoms, so i approach communication cautiously.

communication varies from person to person, but many witches claim spirits and deities have very distinct energy. they often want to communicate with us for a multitude of reasons, and will make their communication known. most of the time if a spirit or deity is wanting to communicate with you, they will send you signs. learn about the deities that interest you and start asking for signs. these signs will start to have the energy of the deity connected to them. 

my deity journey started with feeling a calling to work with a deity. through divination i was able to figure out who. once i did, they started sending me signs to confirm. 

i often pick random things up as offerings, when i see an item i just know who wants it as an offering based off the energy i feel when i see it.

if you find looking for signs to be triggering, but still feel called to deity or spirit work, you can still welcome their energy without pursuing communication through signs!

dedicate a candle on your altar for them and welcome their energy into your space. allow their messages and energy to take whatever form it needs to take to reach you. 

Divination is a great tool to use with deity and spirit work! use your favorite divination method to reach out or communicate with a deity or spirit 

many witches prefer tarot for communicating. it allows for a certain set of questions and answers. 

tiktok has made communication with deities and spirits seem like you will distinctly “hear” or “see” them when communicating. some people are blessed with this gift, but some of us are not. most of the time we don't actually hear or see deities or spirits. Their communication comes in the form of passing thoughts or gut feelings. 

for example, today i felt called on by persephone to do a healing ritual. if i were on tiktok, i would say, “persephone came into my room and told me to get off my ass and do a healing ritual while cernunnos laughed in the corner.” 

that’s not the case. i just had a feeling i needed to do a healing ritual today, and based off my relationship with persephone and the energy i felt, i knew she was sending me a sign. 

balancing your mental health with your spirituality.

this is something everyone struggles with, and that is okay! at the beginning of your craft, it often feels like spiritual practices need to be a grand thing. this can often feel limiting or like you’re not doing “enough”. almost every witch will tell you they combatted this by incorporating spiritual and magical practices with their everyday life and their healing practices. 

keep things small and realistic! not everything has to be a huge ritual. incorporate spiritual practices into your routine. if you’re struggling to think of ways to do this here's some example of what i do! 

sometimes all i do is light a candle on my altar!

i use herbs to season food and stir in my intent! a little salt and pepper does a lot more than you think! 

water is incredibly cleansing, a quick shower to cleanse away negative energy can greatly improve my mood. 

i incorporate crystal magic and spell jars into everything. they're easy to carry around while i do my day to day and carry so much magic 

i hope these tips have been helpful! just a reminder that these are just tips and opinions, not fact. i am still learning, as we all are! 

[madsad-but-true]

It’s like my bipolar is just immune to any form of medication.

Seriously I don’t know what more I can do.

[littlerayoffuckyou]

Another super fun bipolar fact for you.

When you’re depressive or manic, you lose track of time. I’ve been manic the whole month (it’s my bday month so I’ve been spoiled and getting everything I want, triggering the episode) and I don’t remember most of it. My bday was 9/9, it’s 9/21, and idk what I’ve done for the last almost 2 weeks. Its really cool when people tell me things about those manic times, cause I also don’t remember any of it. Manic me will agree to anything, then promptly forget the agreement. These last 2 weeks are lost to the void.

[camonghne]

When SZA said,

"God protect my most prized possessions, talking 'bout my sanity!...is at a 6.7..."

I really fucking felt that.

[screaming-gelatin]

#bipolar #relatable #lol #mania #mentalhealthmatters #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #bp1 #bipolarclub #bipolardisorder #TikTok

[dmysterioblog]

could you write a ramonda x reader where the reader works at shuri’s lab and the queen comes down with t’challa one day (bp1) and they’re discussing something while the readers admiring ramonda and t’challa and shuri notice and set them up??

The Set Up

Paring; Queen Ramonda x reader

Summary: You work as a scientist in Shuri's lab, and one day the Queen walks in to talk with Shuri and T'Challa about something. You find it impossible to take your eyes off of her. Shuri and T’Challa notice and set you both up.

Warnings: none just fluff

Word Count: 868

A/n: I hope you like it anon!

  I was working on a new project with Shuri when Griot announced that the Queen and T’Challa were on their way to the lab. My breath caught in my throat as the elevator doors opened to reveal the stunning Queen of Wakanda. My eyes followed her every move as she came closer to greet her daughter. She greeted me as well before discussing something with Shuri and T’Challa as I stood there staring, mesmerized by her. This, of course, didn’t go unnoticed by Shuri and T’Challa. When the Queen was gone, Shuri and T’Challa looked at each other smiling then looked at me.

“What?” I said, raising an eyebrow.

“You alright? Thought we lost you there for a second,” Shuri said with a smirk.

“Yeah, I'm fine. Just got lost in thought,” I said but a cough from T’Challa interrupted me.

“I have royal matters to attend so I’ll see you both later,” he informed us, winking at Shuri on his way out which left me confused.

“What was that about?” I asked, turning towards Shuri.

“Oh, nothing…”

- 3rd person pov -

Shuri and T’Challa have been planning how to get you and their mother in the same room for the past 3 days. After much thinking, they came up with the perfect plan. They planned to trick you both into admitting your feelings. They planned to send both of you secret admirer notes to lead you into the same room.

- Reader pov -

I was working in my lab station when I saw a red note peeking from under some papers. I picked it up and noticed my name written on it. I opened it and read it.

Sithandwa sam,

    I want you to know that the moment I first saw you, I thought you were the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. I couldn’t help but fall in love with you. If you want to know who I am, meet me in the throne room at 8:00 PM.

                                                     - Secret Admirer

I stood there shocked. My eyes not believing what they just read. I sat there thinking if this was some sort of joke but my thoughts were interrupted by Shuri.

“Hey, Y/n. What do you have there?”

“Uh, I think I have a secret admirer?”

“What really? Let me see.”

I handed her the note and let her read it. She looked amused when she read it.

“So, are you gonna go?”

“What? No. Someone is probably playing a joke on me.”

“Maybe, or maybe this person actually likes you. You should go, you never know what will happen. Who knows, what if you find the love of your life.”

“Please, let's not exaggerate. Fine, I'll go. But if something bad happens I will blame it on you.”

- Time Skip -

I was done with the project for today. I looked at the time and saw it was 7:30. I had thirty minutes to get ready so I had to hurry if I wanted to be on time. I ran to my room to change into something nice and fix my hair. When I was done it was already 7:55 so I hurried, took the note, and made my way to the throne room. I stopped in front of the huge double door of the throne room, contemplating whether I should go in or go back to my room. I decided to go in. I slipped quickly inside and closed the door swiftly. When I turned around I came face to face with the queen of Wakanda.

“Queen Mother, i- I'm so sorry. I was supposed to meet someone but I guess not.”

“You're alright dear, we all make mistakes an-,” her eyes caught the red note in my hand, “Where did you get that?” she asked, pointing at my hand.

“I found it in between some papers on my lab station.” 

“May I see it?”

I nodded and handed it to her. She read it and raised an eyebrow. I was confused until she raised her other hand which held an identical red note. 

“I found this on my nightstand.”

“I think we were set up. And I have an idea of who could have done it,” I said, shaking my head.

“I think I have a pretty good idea as well. But before we do anything about that I would like to say something about this situation. I don’t think we were set up as a joke. I believe the person who did this knew that we felt something for each other.”

“Are you saying that the person who did this, did it to get us to confess to each other?”

“Yes.”

“Well then in that case, what was written on the note wasn’t too far from the truth. I do think you are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen and I do love you. But of course, I didn't say anything because you are a literal queen while I am just Shuri’s lab partner.”

“Sithandwa sam, I don’t care if you're ‘just a lab partner’. I love you and nothing is going to change that,” Ramonda said as she pulled me into her arms for a sweet, passionate kiss.

Let me know you yall like the first person pov or the second person pov better!

[hexxa-decimal]

When have I ever been first?

A question for the ages.

As a tot in my mothers arms,

I was still only second 

To the plants she kept on the sill,

And as I grew I became second

To various things more;

To the state of the house,

To income and money,

To my older, healthier sister,

To my father and his "quirks".

No room to call my own,

No privacy to speak of,

No emotions allowed past curfew.

I thought that maybe,

When I'm out,

It'll be over,

But it only gets worse.

My health is secondary 

To various whims,

My sleep is secondary

To deafening hymns,

My suffering is secondary

To what's displayed on the screen,

And no emotions allowed past curfew.

Sure, I am primary for myself.

This would be nice, if not for

How Ill I am,

And the fact that i cannot

Prioritize myself, since i cannot 

Do everything myself,

And so I'm dependent 

On being the top priority

Of external persons

Who never prioritized me once.

Of those who walk past me,

Often looking through.

[existhere]

when it comes to recognizing the more obvious hallucinations, i’m pretty quick with it and let it slide off me. they don’t necessarily scare me anymore and im thankful i have the flavor of psychosis that can differentiate real vs fake quickly on my own

so sometimes i have a little fun with it and answer back, just to see what they say. tonight i had a first—i smelled a strong men’s cologne right before the talking

so I told him his cologne smelled like ass, and he was SHOOK 😂

[bl0omin]

first personal post on this acc bc I don't wanna bother my friends with these thoughts I just am in A Place™️ and want to vent and what better space to do that than on my Tumblr idc who cares I'm 14 again

anywho

holy fuck holy shit having OCD is hard,, being in a relationship is hard,,

being aware of having OCD and bp1 and trauma and being in the first ever Healthy Relationship ™️ I've ever been in is so big and scary and aaaaa I want to cry and piss and throw up aaa ,,

[twosidestoeverycoin]

Some advice for anyone with a mood related disorder: track your moods. Seriously.

I use an app called daylio and pay for the premium version ($3/mo) but you can do it on paper, on a spreadsheet, there's plenty of apps out there. But the key thing is just tracking a couple of times a day.

When you're in a mood episode (for me it's mostly depression with occasional hypomania, I've been fortunate to not have another manic episode) it can be really easy to convince yourself you feel the Bad all the time and it's never good and will never be good. But that's almost definitely not true. Negative emotions are consuming and blinding.

I've been in a depression for a couple of months and for the last month I've been tracking my mood 4 times a day (6am, 12noon, 4pm, 8pm) and yeah I'm definitely depressed and feel bad a lot but it's nowhere near as much as I thought. For the last 3 weeks of November, my moods worked out to be more than half neutral or good.

An important thing is to not have too much gradiation in the moods or you'll get bogged down. I have 5 levels: All Good, Neutral, Meh, Big Sad, and BAD. For how my moods work, having a greater degree of nuance for negative moods helps me see that all bad moods aren't equally bad and let's me more accurately assess how I'm doing.

I think of myself as someone who's usually depressed and in a bad mood, but the data doesn't show that. Most of the time I'm in a neutral or positive mood. This has helped me when I am in a bad mood, because I can look at my data and know it won't always be the case that I feel bad.

Tl;dr: if you have a mood disorder, find some way to track your moods and do it consistently. Negative feelings are blinding and you may be surprised by how you actually feel day to day.