#BITCH DO YOU WANT THIS NEXT WEEK OR NOT
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If I have to send this proof one more goddamn time I’m going to lose my shit
#rush order that needed to be approved YESTERDAY but we’re so focused on changing the fucking logo we can’t send it#’oh no that’s not the right one’ ‘oh no it needs this THIN ASS LINE underneath it’ ‘oh we need the one with the SMALLER THIN ASS LINE’#BITCH DO YOU WANT THIS NEXT WEEK OR NOT#work rant#manda talks#I’m pretty sure that line won’t print/engrave either so. there’s that. but nobody listens to the artist#and when it comes back with the ‘this line won’t print’ everyone will be angry shocked pikachu at me#I love my job but I don’t love this client anymore
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I am exhausted, good heavens.
#hey watch this neat trick I can do [cries]#love that for me#BUT#BUT- the actual EFFORT I put these days to not make a suicide jokes is *chefs kiss* phenomenal#actively shitting bricks as I physically have to stop myself from saying I want a car to hit me for the 50th time that day#I am not progressing any more than I am downgressing or whatever the opposite word is. but girlies#and boysies and peepsies#my lipgloss is popping and my eyebags are gucci- and so I shall prevail#MAN this tiredness is BONE DEEP man- it's like it's engraved into my goddamn clavicles#sorry that was like the only bone name I could remember- I don't even know what a clavicle is#anyways- I need to fall asleep forever and never wake up. But not in like a dying way#I just need to stop waking up tired and being tired and going to sleep tired and living tired like GIRL#WTF AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WHEN SLEEP STOPS SLEEPING#I JUST SLEPT 10 HOURS HOW ARE YOU STILL TIRED#I am so tired that i stopped liking shit- like that SUCKS my dudes#I sometimes Don't Like art now and that is WILD to me because that was lowkey the One Thing that got me going#I used to actually LIKE english class! and reading Shakespear and shit!!!! and history class!! Now I don't!! Where did the spark go??????#Now everything feels like a chooooooore and it sucks major dick#and my graaaades are slipping because I stopped giving a damn but I NEED. TO. GIVE. A. DAMN#because those are like highkey lowkey and every-other-key my grades and I need them to go into uni so I don't die <333#I need to spite little mini me who said I wasn't going to live past 13 because BITCH- guess how old I'm turning next week????????#THAT'S RIGHT- 17 YEARS OLD- FUCK YEAH BABY I'M STILL NOT DEAD#SUCK MY BIG ASS SHLONG MINI-ME#and then I have a big biology exam the day after so- funnnnn!!#anywho- should I tag this as vent? this probably counts as vent right? like among us? impostor and shit?#sorry I think my brain is actively rotting out of my ears right now#vent post#personal vent#tw vent#tw sui talk
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Martha didn't get a Tennant Doctor because she didn't want a Tennant Doctor. Martha was the only one of RTD's companions who left the Doctor of her own volition, and only ever called him back on her own terms, when she had need of him.
Rose didn't leave the Doctor willingly. Rose was trapped in an alternate universe because it was either that or be stuck in a void with Daleks and Cybermen for the rest of time. And when she returned (primarily to warn the Doctor about the oncoming darkness caused by Davros but also because she wanted to be with him), she left with the Metacrisis Tenth Doctor and their own TARDIS because that was the only way to give her a satisfying ending from the viewpoint of the audience. (And even then, there are some fans who will tell you that nothing short of her being with the Time Lord Doctor in the prime reality is satisfying, but that just couldn't happen for reasons outside the narrative story.)
Donna didn't leave the Doctor willingly. Donna absorbed all of the intelligence of a Time Lord into her human brain, and this was going to kill her. She had to have her memory erased and be kept away from anything alien for presumably forever or else the knowledge would return and literally kill her. Donna begged the Doctor not to wipe her memory anyway, because she would rather have died than give up that life. Just like Rose, Donna had planned on staying with the Doctor for the rest of her life.
This was not the case for Martha. Setting aside the fact that Martha was treated like garbage for the duration of her season from a writing standpoint, by the end of season three Martha has realized two things: 1.) that she is goddamn brilliant and never deserved to feel like she was second best, and 2.) that she doesn't want the Doctor anymore. Unlike Rose, Donna, and Captain Jack, Martha leaves the TARDIS of her own free will, to pursue her own life and career outside the Doctor. Even Sarah-Jane says in "School Reunion" that she waited for the Doctor to come back for her; she didn't want to leave, not permanently! But Martha did. She chose to step away. The only other companion to have done this during RTD's run is Mickey, so I guess Martha wasn't the only one; still, she's the only one of the primary companions, the three women, to want to leave. She made that choice herself.
Now, does that mean everything about Martha's ending was perfect? No. As much as the "Smith and Jones" wordplay of her ending with Mickey is amusing (get it, like her first episode), it makes no sense when you consider that she was engaged when she returned in season four, and yet we never hear of that fiance again. I mean, I guess it's fine since it's not like we ever saw him? But what happened there? Why was no thought given to Martha's story there? What was she doing with Mickey in an active war zone? Why no mention of her in these three specials even though, last we heard of her, she was working with UNIT in a really important position? I like Mel well enough, but why couldn't Martha have been there instead? Especially since Martha and Donna had a preexisting friendship, and would have been delighted to see each other again?
With that said though, she doesn't need a Tennant Doctor. She didn't want a Tennant Doctor. Frankly, Tennant's Doctor doesn't deserve her with the way he acted ("Rose would know" right to her face, like -- dude, I get it, you're grieving, but that's fucking rude and Rose would NOT approve you using her memory to make another woman feel bad about herself). Martha's character arc was about recognizing her own brilliance and her own worth; standing on her own two feet as a PROPER doctor, Doctor Martha Jones, walking the earth and saving the world without a TARDIS or Torchwood or a Time Lord brain. Just her own fucking determination and brilliance.
Rose and Donna got Tennant Doctors because that was the way to make their final send-offs satisfying. Rose and a Tennant Doctor got to be in love and happy together in a parallel world, which is fitting considering that they were in love and never wanted to leave each other. Donna and a Tennant Doctor get to be besties and happy together in this reality, so that RTD has a convenient excuse to pull Tennant back into a story if he ever wants to again (since it'd be hard to explain why Tentoo came over, versus having Fourteen right there) . . . but also because, like Rose, Donna never wanted to leave the Doctor, she wanted to be with him forever.
But Martha didn't want that. Martha left on her own accord. She left with a smile on her face and her cell phone on the TARDIS console, so that when she said "here boy!" the Doctor would listen. She left on her terms, with him at her call, only there when she has use for him.
And honestly? Good for her.
#like it was a fucking waste that we didn't see Martha at all in these specials#or even get a mention of her but like#she wouldn't WANT a Tennant Doctor. she was the only one of the 3 who left willingly!#(and honestly who can blame her like fr . . . the shit she put up with bc of him)#(the shit in the Family of Blood episodes gave her just cause to beat his ass into next week honestly)#(she hugs him at the end but honestly she should have beat his ass. just started swinging)#(how dare he do that to her? honestly?? i'm not talking about the love plot bit bc while that was ugh it's like#small potatoes to making her as a Black woman have to WORK IN SERVITUDE TO WHITE PEOPLE#and like the scene where he grabs her arm and throws her from the room? BITCH?????#GOD i'm mad again just THINKING about it#she should have beat his ass so hard he regenerated right then and there. AGH.#ANYWAY#Martha Jones deserved better but getting a Tennant Doctor is not better#not for her. it would be like a punishment honestly#she walked away from him and then you put his sad boy ass back on her doorstep?? hello??? no thank you#doctor who#martha jones#dw spoilers#this probably sounds like I hate Tennant's Doctor but I don't#I just hate how a lot of season 3 was written wrt how Martha was treated#like Martha having very legitimate concerns in the Shakespeare episode about being a Black woman in that time period#and Ten mocks her for being concerned like ???#ARGGGHGHHGHGHGHG#ABOUT TO FLING MYSELF INTO THE TV TO BEAT HIS ASS MYSELF ISTFG#A N Y W A Y
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in a variant of useless arguments that unfortunately i can't just use the block button on, i am reliving a wtfry from like five years ago because i'm trying to sort through my medical history and figure out if i have any further lurking disasters and i'm currently stuck on
me: i am trying to eat healthier so i want to add more fruits and vegetables to my diet
nutritionist: no don't eat more fruits! that's too much sugar! sugar is bad for you!
like really we're not talking about processed foods or added sugars, this person straight up told me there was too much sugar in raw, fresh fruit
#please god let my labwork imbalances rebalance#i've been prediabetic off and on for a decade and my last A1c was 5.5 so it's not getting worse & i need doctors to get off my ass about it#and I absolutely KNOW if you push me certain ways about food i'll go orthorexic if not anorexic#(and they won't even treat it like an illness because I'm fat)#(at a checkup last week I was commenting on my surgical recover and i lamented 'and i'm still losing weight' and the doc was like 'good!')#(bitch my weightloss was a symptom of an organ crisis i could have died of. no it's not good! i want to STABILIZE!)#i've spent years disentangling myself from the toxic diet culture shit my mother dumped on me like drink a glass of water to feel full#fuck that i barely ever feel hungry in the first place i need to listen to what signals i do get#and after all my hard work they're gonna try to drag me back in#i just fuckin know it#it's not like trying to balance my current dietary restrictions isn't borderline orthorexic already#but i feel like i have a grasp on why i do it and when moderation vs strict adherence is okay#and from past experience counting calories is the line where i will fully go insane#maybe 25 years on I could resist but i don't want to try#i would rather go on metformin or some other fuckin' drug i don't really need than count calories#ugh it's a week until my next appointment to talk about this it would be great if it would get out of my brain until then#chronic illness#medical bullshit#food bullshit
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well that was a shortlived good feeling about my job
#maybe i should just become unemployed. maybe i should just suffer!#recap of todays further events .#that supervisor? who i kinda didnt already like but now absolutely hate?#she came down to confirm that i wasnt leaving. okay . and then she fucking tells me#oh we're going to get another person to help out from this other company. we were going to do that bc we thought you were leaving#but she thinks that even if im staying there should be another person on this floor. bc apparently more has to be done#and there are 'constant complaints' abt this floor . which doesnt make sense to me bc there shouldnt be#and so we're waiting to see what the manager decides but hes on fucking vacation and wont get back until. next week??#she said she was gonna email him and like right after she left i emailed and texted him explaining everything#and trying to very nicely say hey what the fuck are you doing you don't need to hire anyone else#and if im doing a bad job fucking tell me so i can do it better. bitch#and she had the nerve to fucking tell me when she was talking to me#that i wont find an easier job than this one#well if its so fucking easy why are we hiring someone else#by the way getting that extra person from this other company doesnt cost them anything which is why theyre doing it i think#which is making me not feel good abt my own future lmao. like why would they keep paying me when they can get someone for free#and she was saying all this stuff like oh you have it so good here we dont write you up i do all this stuff to help you like . ok#i didnt ask you to come downstairs w the coffee order and if you wanted me to i would come up . god#but the thing of me not being able to find a better job like wow! what if i killed you. for saying that to my face#and she talks abt how shes been w the company 20 years ok and that doesnt give you an excuse to treat me like a child. jesus#anyway im very pissed off and not enjoying my work situation lol. i dont wanna do this anymore#but looking at other jobs im so unemployable. sigh
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I KNOW Y'ALL ARE IN MOURNING OVER CHOSO AND THAT WAS VERY SAD I CRIED BUT I HAVE NOT BEEN THIS HYPE OVER A CHAPTER IN JJK FOR AGES I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER OH MY GOD THEY'RE GONNA KICK HIS ASS
#jjk leaks#jjk 259#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#everyone at tcb is seeing heaven that chapter was so beautiful#gege is at his best when he's doing character work and relationships#that was heart wreching#i am emotionally devastated#but it was so so beautiful#choso's arc was perfect#one of my favorites in the series#AND#I GOT THE “TODOS THEME MUSIC STARTS PLAYING IN MY HEAD MOMENT”#bro it was so fucking hype!!!!!!#this was the best chapter since go south imo#ALSO#TODO IS FEEDING MY HIGURUMA LIVES DELUSIONS#i know that's not what he was talking about#but I'm choosing to interpret it that way#ALSO ALSO#what is yuuta's plan????????#i need to know#y'all can all drop the manga after this if you want since y'all don't like storytelling i guess#like not to be a bitch but idk what you thought you signed up for#but this renewed my excitement when i had felt like quitting over frustrating art and writing for weeks now#im so excited for the next chapter#thank god for golden week btw#let gege release biweekly cowards
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...... mehhhh personal complaining in the tags (tw illness)
#bro I'm on day 17 of a crazy severe mystery illness and I'm so fucking gagged#like my lungs have hurt for over two weeks I can barely walk more than five minutes before getting exerted#and can't have a conversation without wheezing#tumblr have you ever been so sick or incapacitated that it causes you to rethink everything#like i have been so severely sick that it's inspired me to drastically change my entire life#i feel like my body and a large part of me has died and i've metamorphosed jesus i'm a phoenix bitch rising from the ashes#yea is this normal? have other people experienced this?#like an illness so severe that it just makes you go ok ok#this isn't working#the old ways aren't working#the universe really knocks you so far on your ass sometimes to bring you where you need to go next#but god fucking damn#i just want to breathe and be able to walk down the god damn street#ok rant over#hang in there sick tumblr#maybe delete later im just sad girl today#i just want to go on my hot girl walk and do my hot girl dancing but my body won't let me :(
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genuinely these panels are going to make me ugly cry
#i'm not back for real yet i think i want to stay away longer. i'm just here to put more things in the queue and answer messages#i really enjoyed trimax vol 4 idk something about it was less miserable than 1-3#might have been the first volume that i wasn't grimacing the entire time i read it. or maybe i'm just desensitized now.#unironically this prayer is soooo beautiful to me. give us this day our daily bread. not bread for the week not bread for a year#just enough for today.#lately when i've been praying it just looks like#please for the love of god please please please please please PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPL#things are not looking good for the community house.. lots bureaucracy with the city. and the church that funded us is falling apart#i don't know what i'm going to do if we get shut down it's the one thing in my life that's worth anything#all those kids... where are they going to go. who is going to help them. where is the neighborhood going to get their food.#in two days it will be the anniversary of [REDACTED] and i am so so so scared#just sat in my room today and fruitlessly scrolled thru jobs im not qualified for & tried not to think about thinking about killing myself#i don't WANT to kill myself i don't want to think about it i hate thinking about killing myself i will never ever kill myself or even try#but there is a demon or perhaps a ghost or evil wizard that tells me there's an easy way everything can go away. and it's A STUPID. BITCH.#please do not reply to this post i know you all mean well but i just don't think i can handle it.#talking about it i mean. and hearing people say nice but empty things.#i just wish i had someone to sit next to me.#personal#i don't want to go to church tomorrow :( it all feels so fake and i do not ever feel fed.
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I can't believe I've done it.
Today was my last class ever.
One more internship and it's Grad School Graduation Time
#16 year old me didnt even think id make it to 24#and yet here i am bitch#i take the exams next week and do my internship but i never have to step foot in a classroom again unless i want to go back#theres so much in that sentence im steuggling to process these emotions#i love you all sm and i am so thankful for each and every one of you#the support and love here and just overall#its incredible to have a community like this#( ooc. )#gotta stop before i cry again
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#these past two weeks have been so intense that ive just.. not spoken about it once i got home from work#blocked it all out#my beloved colleague whose desk is next to mine has cancer#breast and uterus. she needs two major surgeries#they just diagnosed her two weeks ago#so we've been trying to deal with that as colleagues and friends#because we love and miss her and i am so deeply sad as well#but i feel like i couldn't process that at all bc two days after the news of her diagnosis i was asked to take on half of her work#on top of my fulltime#which i agreed to do bc i like her tasks and i want to help her and i also know i can do it#but it does feel very off bc i know i don't earn enough money for this workload to be long term and it is def like this#for the coming four months at least#so i did tell my manager that i would like a raise and. that bitch told me to BUY MORE SECOND HAND SHIT.#i seriously thought i saw my life flash before my eyes#then the day after she asked one of my colleagues who's been with the firm for over 30 years whether she was looking for another job maybe?#which caused that colleague to instantly go home in tears and be home from basically a nervous breakdown the past 1.5 week#which is her full right and i support her with all my heart but bc my management sucks it meant that we had to also carry her tasks ofc#i felt soooo spread thin and super super angry actually but i didn't even realise how angry i was until last thursday my colleague w cancer#came by the office. and talked about all of it. and i suddenly realised how sad i was but then also how angry#but i was just blocking it all out trying to stay afloat#bc we told her about what the manager had said and she said “i hope that i get the chance to really tell her how it is someday.”#“because the stress she causes with people can actually kill you. just look at me.”#and the rest of the day i felt so ready to be done with everything actually#but seeing her anger made me see my own anger#and released me of my own pent up emotions bc i had actual leg pains this week and it was purely psychosomatic#i then managed to tell some friends yesterday about what was going on and their outrage spurred me on even more#so today i emailed hr. demanding a raise#doing this amount of work while constantly feeling like the house is on fire while also struggling financially seriously makes me suicidal#and i am not joking#so.. if nothing comes of that im leaving that job and not looking back
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7 minutes of a phonecall with my mother is enough for me to start being a bitch lol
#i understand that going by train is a novelty for her but i spend half of my motherfucking life on trains and i feel sick just getting on em#but im '20 not 80' so i have no right to prefer not to spend 5.5 to 7 fucking hours on a train (which will ALWAYS be longer than it says)#when i can split that journey in 2 instead because. AGAIN. ive been getting on longer train rides at least twice a week on average#(sometimes more) for the past 3 years and i KNOW FOR A FACT that i start losing my goddamn mind and getting overstimulated after 3-4 hours#and i KNOW its gonna be a fucking NIGHTMARE for me to go on a completely avoidable 7 hour long ride WITH HER SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO ME#and its not that we really MUST choose the cheapest option because the difference will be like 20 zł at best#what the fuck is that woman's problem#the fact that she cant understand that 7 hours of sitting motionless in a closed space with Other People is nightmarish for me#and i cant explain it to her because we keep playing this fucked up game where i pretend that im Normal and not Mentally Fucked Up#but i can only keep it going for so long before the symptoms of Not Being As Normal As We Both Hoped Id Be start to show#and i can only mask them for so long too and why is it so hard to split that fucking train ride#and then IM the evil one and a bitch when i tell her 'okay we'll do it your way' cause she Doesnt Deserve That Tone From Me#babygirl you deserve SO much worse from me particularly fuck this this trip is gonna be a nightmare#i want siblings so bad. i just want someone on my fucking team why am i always simultaneously the Stupid the Bad and the Crazy one here
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Finding out youre agorophobic is wack bc its like, if you dont know then for me at least you just go out anyway and dissociate the whole time feel like absolute garbage and take days to recover from a small trip to groceries and finding every excuse possible to drop plans with people until they eventually stopped asking and stopped talking altogether. And now its like, oh. Is this why going outside feels like dying. Huh. And i wanna go out and do things but the thought makes me vomit for a week leading up to it and i was told oh its just being dramatic so yeah cool whatever.
Now im like, okay i actually have to get to used to going out and being around people adn put things in place for the paranoia and anxiety and plan things in advance and i gotta tell myself about it and walk myself through it everyday leading up. And im an adult so fuck everyone i will in fact be taking my headphones and a fidget and wearing my rat jacket as a security blanket in 90 degree weather thank you. I am in fact, allowed to accommodate myself and set boundaries fuck you actually.
#winter speaks#figuring out i was gaslit my whole life on more than just yhe two things i was aware if is fucking insane#i have a lot of the same problems my mom has that she fuckin caused or ignored and all my life#i couldnt have this and this and this bc youre just copying me and usinh my excuses#bitch you gave me this shit and then described what you deal eithnusing vocab i hadnt learned yet#and i connected yhe dots and eent oh and instead of you being self awate enough to also go oh you just berated me until i shut up#its really weird living in the same house as someome that gave youost of your issues. and the relationships better and you cant leave yet#but working through things and tryung yo accomodate and take care of yourself and be justifiably angry#while hiding it from the person youre living with bc all you wantbyo do is scream at them and ask them why and istead#youre asking if they want coffee bc youre making some and letting them know therell be packages next week n sorry about that#is a fucking whiplash experience and im just sitting here like °-° i wanna smash things and scream#anyway. get therapy if you can its fun
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Using my brain like a metal detector to figure out what the FUCK it wants to do
#*shakes brain* what do you want??? food isnt working acnh isnt working weaving isnt working#im gonna fucking riot#im understimulated but just listening to a video feels OVERstimulating#i get bored & tired two minutes after starting a thing#but i want to do SOMETHING#i was in bed almost all day yesterday b/c i couldnt get myself to do anything else for more than. like. an hour at a time#or maybe less (it felt like less anyway)#i do NOT want to do that again#if my new meds dont do anything to help istg (im not gonna do anything im just gonna be upset)#depressions a bitch and i hate it!!!#im tired but i got a good amount of sleep the past few nights so its not from that??? i know its the Mental Illness but. still#i do NOT want to just take a NAP all DAY i want to DO things when im OFF from WORK#is this what it was like pre-meds??? b/c if so HOW#i legitimately dont remember#personal#jay rambles#mental health cw#depression cw#im. so fucking tired of this shit if the new meds do the thing where it makes things worse for the first few weeks#im still not gonna do anything im just gonna be upset about it. and there's a real chance i wont be able to work full hours#which i cant afford atm#i MADE SURE i had enough food for lung and i havent had half of it b/c i started and my brain went “mm no you're full actually”#(i very distinctly am NOT full. but now it has a bad Mouth Feel and im going insane)#(gonna try knitting next to see if that works)#food mention
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Well... uh... hi.
#ahahahahaha....#don't mind me... just returning from my 'short' hiatus like 6 months later#and honestly idk how much i'll be around even still#i'm still trying to find a rhythm that will let me squeeze all the things i need to do into a day#(nevermind having any free time ever for fandom things)#twp is a hot mess#(i mean... as usual)#but at least the days of pulling 14-18 hour days of volunteer work for weeks on end are over... until next year ^^'#twp sneak speaks#twp speaks#twp bitches about real life#twp returns from hiatus#...maybe?#idk how long or how much i'm going to be around this time#(between the end of the school year and some health issues i may be right back out again)#but i wanted to at least pop back in and say hi / see what's happening#i've missed fandom and all of you out there in it! i hope you're all well and continue to be so and i hope to be back again for real soon!#p.s. i still haven't seen mando s3 (blacklisted the tag; don't spoil me please!) or tlou (spoiled to hell and back so no worries)
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Some of those doctors make hating oat milk their entire personality. I hate them. Cannot pretend to find them funny or like i give a shit. Fucking pretentious assholes
#also my colleague (the girl i had my shift with) is the exact opposite of me in all aspects. asked me if I'd ever worked in customer service#because i couldn't care less about being fake friendly to assholes and don't care if they like the service or not#like bitch those people don't have any other choice but drink our fucking coffee it's not like I'm competing with anyone#or like they pay us in any way. i get paid for doing the dumb work i have to do not for stroking some dumb ass doctors' egos#they come out of their rooms once an hour to get coffee and we have the cups on the table and i wouldn't even Think of#HANDING them the cups and smiling sweetly at them and asking 'coffee? tea?? :))'#I'll just assume these grown adults will get their stupid coffee or tea when they want some. it's not like they don't know where it is#(and i AM friendly and smile when someone is coming in our direction but why the fuck do you need to get so disgustingly friendly with them#if someone held up a cup asking if i.want some coffee I'd leave immediately even if i came just for coffee. it's creepy)#anyway. she's nice. I'm not.#there's normal people who will get their coffee and maybe ask if the milk in the little jug is cow milk to which I'll happily reply 'yes#:)'. then there's the other people who see the oat milk and make it clear they are the most insufferable people on the planet#(and i pity their patients so much. not much to choose from i guess but if i had that as a doctor I'd happily just die)#like everyone who took oatmilk could do it without making a fuss about the cow milk on the table. the cow milk lovers could never#'the oat milk is in front of the actual milk. this is unacceptable. i hate such healthy bullshit' lol okay#'OAT milk?? I'll leave this to the horses! THANK GOD you have actual milk!'#my favorite was the one who really took personal offense with its sheer presence. as if it had killed half of his patients lmao#'we had 50 patients with xyz problem. ALL of them drink oat milk. they cannot see the connection. it's really unhealthy'#at this point i just said i didn't care and stopped paying attention and he started complaining to his doctor colleague about how#oat milk is advertised to be healthy and how it's actually the opposite and i just find that very funny compared to the first comment#from that one guy who doesn't like such healthy bullshit. you guys need to find a consensus on the oatmilk issue i think. no one takes you#seriously if you contradict yourself like this. also i couldn't care less about the healthiness of the milk alternative of my choice. bitch.#next week I'll end up killing someone. i hope they all die from their cow milk. (but not the ones who took cow milk and didn't say anything#about the oat milk. they can continue living as they didn't annoy me)#void screams#some of these doctors were actually quite nice (most of them even). one even brought an applicant to us telling her to get some coffee#(which we are not allowed to give to applicants. but i don't care. I'd rather they get something than some of the asshole jury members#who hate oat milk (which is not the issue. the issue is them making it everybody else's issue that they don't like oat milk))
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Yall don't know how hard God was testing me today at work 😭😭
Bootleg FGM was trying to string up wire for the new sign holder line in basics and he was right by me right? He starts getting the wire twisted and in a sing song voice he goes "why are you not straight?! Whyyy are youuu not! Straight!? Why're you not straight?"
And it took EVERYTHING in me to not out myself for the joke 😭😭😭😭 I wanted to go "well for one, I'm bi." SO BAD AGSGDGGDGDGS I was just standing there folding shirts like 🤐🤐🤐
#marquilla#i wanted to make a 'i cant do anything straight im gay!' joke SO BAD too 😭😭😭#but if im gonna out myself at work it's sure as fuck not gonna be to management agdgdgdggdgd#not that i think theyd treat me different (i mean the one lady manager is openly bi and there's a flamboyant gay man in the cafe so it's not#like taboo) i just dont wanna out myself at a place where several coworkers are anti trans and some are homophobic#one is very bi-phobic bc i remember her bitching to RC ab this bi girl we used to work with and she said (mine you its not even 6am on a#weekday. unprovoked.) like 'does she wake up one day wanting to suck dick and the next wanting to eat coochie?!'#and im standing there thinking 'i mean maybe?? idk her preference and sometimes for me it fluxuates more like through periods of#preferring one gender over others/then swapping but also some days it's a 'why not both?' situation and SOMETIMES it's a#'why not both TOGETHER' situation man like does it matter??#i think what triggered it was the girl broke up with her girlfriend who shed been talking ab for weeks and had begun dating a man#who she then would not shut up ab. but also that coworker is suuuuper racist at least towards black WOMEN idr if she#acts that way around/with black men but a racist is a racist no matter who they pick and choose to hate#anyway i know a lot of coworkers are not lgbt friendly and i dont want to create any animosity/draw a target on my back at work#like if they find out they find out but i aint strutting my stuff yknow? like with family it's like id prefer you not know but if you know#you know so whatever#work talk
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