#and then its so hard to get back to it. can we stop????? can it be enough already??????

[scartale-an-undertale-au]

So... I see this a decade after i decided to simply... Stop instigating conversations because i felt like im simply burdening others with my presence and that they actually felt annoyed having to hear from me and wished i wouldnt send messages.

The thing is that none of them ever approached me afterwards. When we saw each other after a while we would be ecstatic but there was a wall between us already and i dont know if its simply life going on and us being very different than back then, or that they truly didnt see me the same as i saw them (as my besties).

One time i met one of them (this one specifically was my best friend from first grade until twelve basically) on the street and i see that she's married and walking with her husband. Turns out the wedding was that sunday and i wasnt even notified of it happening or of the engagement. I wasnt mad about not being invited, but i was hurt for not even being notified! She then turned to her husband and said that im a friend of her from high school.

Its been a decade from high school so i can see why she said that, but that hurt me so badly that the moment i waved them goodbye and they disappeared around a corner, i collapsed and just sobbed. I was so heartbroken. It seemed that i was the only one who still thought of her as my old school's bestie or had thought of including her in any future milestones simply because she was so important to me.

So i dont know how i feel about this post. I understand where you guys are coming from and its in good intentions, but the main issue is that many kids who become the sole instigators were never shown that they can be vulnerable in front of their friends about this matter. It felt like its your duty and how you contribute to the group. And when it became harder and harder, the friends never questioned why you pulled away or asked for your wellbeing. It turned into a situation when you feel more like a nuisance than a leader.

Fortunately, i have now friends who instigate so much more than me and i keep telling them how i appreciate it and apologise for how terrible i am at texting back and that its never because i dont want them to text me. Its simply because texting or answering messages had become so hard for me and so mentally taxing i sometimes shut down when i see messages i need to reply to.

So rambling aside, as much as i appreciate your sentiment, i think a different approach would be helpful.

My approach (which is not better or worse, just a different approach) is to get comfortable with a 'friends for one day' reality. I go so many times to so many places and meet so many amazing people, we always say we'll contact one another and keep in touch and then never contact one another again, and that's alright.

You have to be comfortable with being friends without focusing on the 'keeping the friendship going' let people come and go. Those who truly want to stick around will stick around, and they usually have a much deeper connection with you that isnt dependant on who instigates the conversations.

My friends are those that mostly text in memes and reels since we dont see each other often. And i do the same in return. Its easier and relays so much more. We have proper conversations here and there, but our actual interactions happen physically. And they instigate meetups much more than i do and i always make sure that they know that i appreciate it. One of my friends and i also have some differences in opinions, so we have some long discussions.

I also have a friend who i dont text to at all but invites me to shabbat meals once in a while and i come over and its like no time had passed. I invite her back for bbq or shabbat as well, but thats also once in a blue moon.

Another friend is across the ocean so its mostly photos and small comments and talks about our lives and since the war began, she keeps checking if im alive and well.

Another friend is also across the ocean and we mostly speak about our realities of being jews or squeal over her precious daughter or make plans for when she finally comes to Israel.

So my friends arent part of one group but many branches of different aspects of my life. I would say i have around seven/eight of them that arent my current co workers (work friendship is also temporary and i accept that fully and enjoy our time together) and im truly blessed because i had let go of the desperate need to keep my friends together.

So please dont call us a bitch for not willing to talk about it. And we're certainly not mini community leaders, we're just people who are friends with those that never cared about reaching out first or affirming our friendship in any kind of way. Its not fair to put the expectations of reaching out onto the one who constantly did that. Friends who truly want to keep up a friendship will attempt to do so when they see that the other side isnt as present as previously.

Sorry im all over the place, im on my phone and its harder to articulate on it

every now and then the internet decides it should revamp the ole “stop texting first and see how many friends you lose” when in reality you could literally just communicate that u feel bad that ur the only one texting first

[enderlovez]

It's Okay

Spencer Reid x BAU Reader WORD COUNT: 1000+

Summary: You and Spencer have to comfort a little girl after she finds her parents dead in her home, and your odd tactics work surprisingly well.

Content Warning: guns and violence, mentions of murder, blood, strange methods of calming a child down, dead bodies mentioned, broken glass, scared children

────── ꒰ঌ·✦·໒꒱ ──────

The house is unnervingly silent.

Bloodstains and shards of broken glass litter the carpet around the bodies as you carefully step around them, you and Spencer moving cautiously towards the bedroom.

From inside comes the faint, muffled sound of sobbing. Through the cracked door you can see a little girl—Harper—curled up tightly in the corner, clutching a worn stuffed rabbit as though it's her only lifeline.

You glance at Spencer, your expression heavy. This is always the hardest part of the job: dealing with the survivors, especially ones this young and scared. Spencer offers you a faint nod, his own nerves masked by his calm demeanor.

You open the door slowly, kneeling down to meet Harper's line of sight. "Hey there," you say softly, careful not to startle her. "I'm Y/N, and this is Spencer. We're here to help you."

She doesn't answer, her tear-filled eyes darting between the two of you. Your chest tightens as her tiny frame trembled, her grip on the stuffed animal tightening further.

Spencer kneels beside you, his voice just as soft and measured as he addresses the young girl. "We promise, we're not gonna hurt you. We're here to keep you safe."

Her bottom lip quivers, but she doesn't speak. You can practically feel the weight of her fear, and your usual comforting words don't seem enough right now. You briefly look at Spencer, then back at her—time to get a little creative.

You stand and cross the room, kneeling again when you're right in front of her.

Reaching for your holster, you carefully pull out your sidearm and hold it up in a non-threatening way, your finger nowhere near the trigger. "Do you know what this is, Harper?" you ask, your voice calm and steady.

Please don't backfire on me...

Her sobs pause for a moment, her wide eyes fixed on the gun. "A... a gun?" she whispers.

"That's right," you say, your tone light as if you're discussing her favorite toy. "It's my job to use this to protect people, to keep them safe. And right now, I'm here to keep you safe. Me and Floppy," you add with a smile, nodding toward her bunny.

Spencer glances at you, his eyebrows raises slightly in surprise, but he doesn't stop you. You know what you're doing—or at least you hope you do.

"Can I see it?" Harper asks hesitantly, her curiosity momentarily overpowering her fear.

"Not this one—it's very grown up," you say with a small chuckle, slipping the gun back into its holster. "But maybe someday, when you're older and want to be a hero too. For now, just know that it's here, and it'll keep you safe."

Harper blinks, her tears slowing as she processes your words in her little six year old brain. "You'd use it for me?"

"Absolutely," you say firmly without hesitation, leaning in a little closer. "You're really important to us, Harper. We're going to make sure nothing bad happens to you."

Spencer finally chimes in, appearing beside you, his voice gentle but slightly amused. "And I can vouch for Y/N. She's a very good shot."

The faintest ghost of a smile crosses Harper's face, and your shoulders relax slightly. "You're like superheroes," she says, her voice so quiet you would've missed it if you weren't paying so much attention.

"Exactly," you say, grinning. "Superheroes with badges and really big teamwork. And guess what? Superheroes are really good at making sure kids like you are okay."

Harper nods, her fingers loosening their death grip on Floppy. "Okay," she murmurs, edging closer to you, "but I'm still scared."

"That's okay too," you assure her. "Being scared just means you're brave enough to face things that are hard. And right now, you're doing and amazing job, Harper."

She hesitates, then leans forward slightly, her small frame still trembling but no longer frozen in fear. She wraps her little arms around your waist, face pressed into your stomach. You take her into your arm, tracing shapes on her back with your pointer finger.

You glance at Spencer, who's watching you with a mix of admiration and mild disbelief. He mouths, Really? The gun?

You shrug subtle in response, your lips quirking up.

After a moment, Harper looks up from your stomach, her eyes still red but clearer now. "Will you stay here?" she asks.

"We'll stay as long as you need us," you answer instantly, tone as warm and reassuring as you can make it. "You're not alone anymore, Harper. Are you tired?"

She nods, so you lift her up off the floor and lay her down on her bed, only laying beside her when she gently tugs on your shirt. She immediately snuggles up against you, clutching onto you with one of her death grips, but you don't care.

Her breathing starts to even out, and for the first time tonight, the tension in the room begins to lift.

When Morgan peeks into the room a few minutes later to check in, he raises an eyebrow at the sight of you—Spencer sitting at the end of the bed, you actually laid down with Harper's arms wrapped tightly around you, tight enough to actually make breathing a little difficult.

"You two good?" he asks, glancing between the three of you.

"Superheroes don't leave their missions unfinished," you reply with a wink, gently stroking Harper's hair, and Morgan shakes his head, muttering something about your methods as he leaves.

One Harper is finally asleep, Spencer leans towards you, his voice low. "You know, not every kid finds guns comforting."

"Worked on her, didn't it?" you whisper back, a playful grin tugging at your lips.

Spencer rolls his eyes, but there's a hint of a smile on his face. "Only you would use a weapon as a comfort object."

"She needed to feel like we can keep her safe," you reply, looking down at Harper's peaceful face, "and I think we nailed it."

He chuckles softly, his hand brushing against yours for a brief moment. "You're not wrong." A brief pause. "Wait, how'd you know the rabbit's name?"

You silently gesture to a drawing on the wall, a little girl and a rabbit holding hands, Harper and Floppy written in blue crayon beneath it.

[damiansgoodgirll]

please,, please,, please,, rhea being all cuddly then soft sex… its a need

this request just melted my heart ♥️

rhea ripley x reader

likes, comments and reblogs are always appreciated!

‼️soft rhea, soft sex, a lot of feels and fluff‼️

needing me

“you’re so cuddly today” you whispered amused against her soft skin.

currently laying down on the bed, on your favorite position - your head between her head and shoulder, your leg over her thick ones, hands intertwined together while she was whispering softly to you.

“i’m always cuddly” she mumbled, pretending to be annoyed by you, making you laugh.

“not as much as you are today, maybe it’s the christmas spirit” you looked up to her, challenging her look.

“please, i can’t wait for christmas season to be over…” she huffed.

“oh right, i forgot you are the grinch…” she laughed as you pretended to be annoyed “but i’m glad you’re home now, we can spend some time together, watch a lot of movies…”

“cuddle and spend days in bed” she winked down at you.

“just to cuddle?” teasing her back.

“oh so you’ve been needing me, uh?” she whispered and in a swift move she was pinning you underneath her warm body “i think i can solve that…”

“rhea…you’re tickling me” you said laughing the moment you felt her cold hands grazing underneath your t-shirt.

she watched you big loving eyes “i can solve that too…just trust me” she whispered before pressing a soft kiss upon your lips. her cold hands moved against your skin, making you shiver “let me help you with this one…” she whispered, referring to the oversized ‘mami’ t-shirt you bought for her on etsy but that somehow, you always ended up wearing.

raising your arms just to give her better access, in a swift move the shirt was laying down on the floor.

“no bra, uh? do you wanna be on the naughty list this year?” she joked, making you laugh “you’re so pretty baby, i can’t believe we have this week just for us…” she whispered.

thinking of how hard it was for you two to find a moment to stay together. with her being on raw and you being drafted on smackdown, you always ended up having a day and a half to spend together so you never failed to cherish sweet moments like that one.

“i know…” you met her soft smile. she tried so many times to get you on raw so you two could be together and travel together but hunter said no multiple times, saying that your feud with tiffany was attracting attention and definitely attracting more fans and he didn’t want to ruin your big moment like that.

then rhea herself offered to be drafted on smackdown but again, hunter said no.

you fought hard for what you had and no matter how little less time you had to spend together, you both always made sure it was worth it.

“hey…what is your mind thinking?” she asked, shoving some hair behind your ear.

“nothing…i just, i wish we could be together all days, moments like this get me nostalgic” you chuckled, making her laugh.

“i know…it’ll get better after mania, i promise you” rhea smirked, clearly knowing something you didn’t know. but before you could ask questions, she pressed another sweet kiss upon your lips “no questions…let me enjoy my time off with my girlfriend”.

“okay…” you whispered, letting her kiss you from your lips to your neck and down your chest. releasing a soft breath, you felt her warm tongue gently kissing above your breast, long enough to tease you “rhea…”.

“patience, i’m gonna give you exactly what you need, just hold on a little for me, okay?” and you knew you couldn’t say no when she asked so nicely. so you stayed there, feeling rhea torturing your breast before she decided to tease your nipples too.

a soft moan escaped your lips, making rhea chuckle “sensitive, aren’t we?”

“not my fault you didn’t touch me in a week…” you decided to be bratty a little bit, making rhea stop her movement and make her look up at you.

“is that so?” she asked, clearly amused.

“yes…” you whispered.

“then, let me fix my mistake baby…” - you loved this sweet side of rhea. in other occasions she would have punished you or edged you until you couldn’t take it anymore but not this time. instead she took her sweet time in undressing you properly. removing your pants first and then the white lacy panties you had underneath “you’re gonna kill me one day…how did i get so lucky with you?” but before you could answer, her thumb was already teasing between your folds.

letting a quite pornographic sound out from your lips, you felt rhea laughing at your reaction.

“yes, you’ve been needing me…” she whispered, feeling how wet you already were.

“i need you, please” you said, rhea already knew that.

she softly teased your clit with her thumb, making small circles around it. her eyes were fixed on your face, studying your expression “what do you want baby, fingers or my tongue?” - it was rare that she let you decide what you wanted but she knew how down you’ve been feeling these past weeks where you had little to no time to spend together and she didn’t want to upset you.

“you, i want you rhea…” she chucked at your impatience.

while her thumb kept moving around your clit, she asked you the question again.

“you. the strap, please…” you opened your eyes up to her, as if you were begging.

“i don’t wanna hurt you…i need you to get you ready first” she couldn’t wait to be inside of you, she couldn’t wait to feel your chest pressed against hers but she wanted to take things slow.

“i’m ready, i promise you…can’t you feel how wet i am? please, i need you” her touch was intoxicating for you and she knew there was no chance of fighting with you. so she gave in, completely.

releasing her hand from your clit, she moved to the closet to get the strap - the purple one you gave her for her birthday, the one she has been using on you when she wanted to wreck you and leave you a panting mess.

slowly walking towards the bed, she stopped just to undress herself and adjust the harness over her hips. never leaving your eyes, she watched carefully at all the little movements your face was making. from how you bit your lips to how you closed your eyes just to take a deep breath.

everything she did looked hot for you and having her standing naked in front of you was making your head spinning.

when she was done, she crawled back on the bed on top of you “you ready princess?” she teased, definitely already knowing the answer.

“yes please…i need you” you couldn’t wait any longer or else you were going to explode.

she slowly dragged the strap up and down your folds, collecting your juices as she teased your clit with the tip of it. squeezing your eyes, you felt your body was on fire.

“don’t stop please…” you looked up at her with begging eyes.

in other occasions she would have done the opposite of what you asked. she would have teased you until you couldn’t take it anymore but not tonight. tonight she was ready to give you all you asked and more.

“i’m sliding in baby, take a deep breath for me” she warned you. knowing that the purple strap always worked magic on you, making you feel so full and stretched out. it was the one she used to destroy you but tonight rhea wanted to try something different.

you relaxed against her skin and when you felt the strap resting between your walls, you let out a shaky breath. suddenly feeling so warm and full. rhea still had to move, giving you time to adjust.

“you can move, please” and she did as you told her.

but this time, she kept her pace slow. the tip of the strap brushing over your sweet spot, making you shiver and moan every time. her chest pressed against yours. feeling her hard nipples against your was making your head dizzy.

she gently pinned your hands above your head with one of her strong hands while the other one held your chin between her fingers.

lowering her head down just to meet your lips in a soft kiss “i could kiss you all night long” she whispered against your lips, making you smile into the kiss.

sweet love making with rhea taking care of you in the sweetest way possible.

with each thrust you felt like you were close and rhea felt it too from how you tried to close your legs around her.

“you coming baby?” she whispered, leaving a tender kiss against your collarbone.

“uh uh…” you moaned, too lost in the pleasure to speak.

the feeling of the strap hitting your spot and rhea’s lips all over your neck were enough to make you crumble under her skin.

closing your eyes and letting your mouth fall open, you moaned her name as you came. the friction of the strap against her clit and the feeling of your body responding too good to her touch were enough to make her cum too.

she gently released your hands and in a quick but steady move she grabbed you by the hips and made you sit on her strap as she came, making you feel all of the strap length inside of you.

your hands quickly went to her back - maybe leaving a scratch or two as you still were riding out your first orgasm.

“oh fuck baby…you feel too fucking good…” she moaned as she hid her face in the crook of your neck, her teeth grazing over your skin.

it took you a moment to come down from your high. your eyes were still closed but your breath came back to normal while rhea was now kissing the skin she bit before.

“shit…” you whispered, opening your eyes only to be met with a loving rhea.

“you good baby?” her hand quickly moved some of the hair that got stuck on your face.

you nodded “i am…i’m perfectly fine…i just wanna cuddle” you mumbled, not wanting to sound too weak but rhea watched you with sweet eyes before helping you remove yourself from her waist.

slowly, you removed yourself from the strap she was still wearing.

“we did a mess…” you looked down at the purple strap that was now covered in your juices.

rhea chuckled, taking the harness off from herself and throwing it somewhere in the room “i’ll do the cleaning later, now i want to lay down with you…”

you couldn’t help the big smile that formed on your face when rhea said those words.

laying down on the bed, you let your head rest on her shoulder again as her hands went to move on your back, gently massaging your soft skin.

“i wish we could stay like this forever…” you whispered.

“i know…but hey, let’s focus on the time we can spend together now okay? everything is going to be okay, just trust me…” she said, trying to ease your mood just a little bit.

you nodded, closing your eyes and letting rhea’s touch lullaby you to sleep.

rhea smiled looking down at you, thinking how lucky she was to have found a partner like you.

if only you knew that she was going to propose on christmas day…

[icarusredwings]

Welcome to Tonys Pizza

Tonys is used to having heros (and likewise) frequent their joint. Mr. Laufeyson want a pie? Got it. Peter want a slice? A comin right up. Hell! A cocker spaniel and a mutt wanna kiss out back over a meta balla? Fuck it. This is new york! As long as dem dogs aint from jersey.

But one of their longest, and possibly weirdest customers is- you guessed it. Wade.

Here at Tonys we got one saying. You make miya mama cry? You getta slap with da pie. Unfortunately this was true until a lawsuit in '17.

But the point still stands.

So one day, when their friend comes with a bit of extra peperoni on him? Who are they to judge? However, They DO heavily judge the fact that he just ordered a large supreme minus everything except the olives and pineapple.

"What!?? Wade you're gonna make me ma cry!" Tony jr (Tony, being his father, who tragically passed when a group of fellas thought 'pizza' was code for dope and not actual pizza) yells, throwing his hands up.

"I know, I know, but you did it for me last time!"

"Last time, my father also kept pineapples just for you in the fridge! Can't be doing that anymore, bad for business."

"Oh but the rat manning the brick oven isn't?"

"Wha!- Who told you bout- cha know what? Fine. Fine!! Aye Vinny! Our pal Wade here wants the usual!"

"WHAT!?" Came from the kitchen before a man comes out, a long rat tail in the back under his hat. You can take this literally or metaphorically.

I don't care. Im just tellin this story not writing it.

"You want me a go buy a whole pineapple just for one pizza!?"

"Yes."

He sighs, loudly taking off his apron and slammed it on the counter, muttering under his breath. "Why always the crazy ones? Move to new york ma said. Its good buisness ma said. ALWAYS the crazy ones!"

"Love ya vinnnyyy~" Wade cooes, watching him leave. Just as he does, The bell rings again. He leans on the counter with a happy grin.

"Welcome to Tonys! Ya make my mama a- c-Cry?!"

"What's taking so long?" Logan grumbles, having just wanted to go home already.

"You're the wolverine.. ThEE wolverine! Aha!! I need to call my mom! She's not gonna believe this! The Wolverine is in OUR shop!!"

Wade giggles, watching as Logan tilts his head at the attention. "Whats with him?"

"You're the Wolverine, bucko. That's a big deal around this place. Now, what do you want on your pizza, big boy?"

".. they do chorizo?"

"Mhmmm~ why? In the mood for some sausage?" Wade teases, smirking more as he coud hear Tony on the phone in the back.

"Ma! Its him! Its really him! Yeah- no, Im lookin at him!"

"....people like you Logan." Wade smiles to him, seeing him frown. "..They like the old Logan.. they think im him."

Wade's toothy grin expands, standing and leaning against him. "With all due respect, Loagie? You're nothing like him. And I love that."

"Hm."

_____

"Alright thank you guys!"

"No problemo, extra pepperoni!" Tony calls, smilin because his tip jar was now full.

"What the fuck did he just call you?" Logan turns. It wasn't hard to tell he was nicknamed this after his skin.

Putting a hand on his forearm, Wade giggles. "Easy tiger. It's an inside joke. When I first came back- like this" he gestures to his face" I asked them for extra pepperoni. They asked how much, and I said as much as I got on my face. Ever since he's called me extra pepperoni. Hey why do you get to be "super cool wolverine" and im just extra pep?"

Logan shrugs, taking the pizza box as he looks at the label, stopping on a fairly not busy side walk a few houses from the apparentment.

"Wait a sec... Wade.. you did tell them one of these were mine right?"

"Huh? What do you mean? I.. I thought I did?"

Opening the boxes, there stood two perfect pinapple olive, chorizo pies. Steaming and ready to be devoured.

The label on the receipt said "Poolverine special"

Logan cringes. "You put pineapple on our pizza??"

But Wade gasps, eyes lighting up. "Sweet salty AND spicy!! Logan, you're a genius!!"

Lets just say.. Wade picked off all the pineapple from Logan's half of the pizza, and he definitely would be returning for more poolverine specials..

Inspired by @sirwadewilsonfromimgur

Enjoy your very stereotypical ficlet

[cosmicpack]

Au were after there time on the space whale Keith and Krolia continue to get visions.

Keith was always sensitive to quintessence.

He can feel the blue lions call from miles away even though it isn’t his lion.

Red will come for him from a distance.

He has the strongest bond with his lion up until the lion switch.

But the whale takes that and jumps kicks it. Yes Krolia still gets them to but no where near the frequency or detail that Keith does.

He brushes up against someone and gets a flash of their past or their future.

They are trying to form a plan of action when suddenly Keith will stop moving and talking and get this far away look in his eyes. Only to snap back with a gasp moments later and drastically change whatever plan they had. Snapping back from a vision from the future of one of his friends dying

It first happens once the battle with Lotor is done. It’s a surprise to everyone as it’s the first one Keith’s had outside of the whale.

One moment the group is relaxing and liking their wounds. Trying to figure out what to do next.

Suddenly Keith freezes. He was mid-sentence talking to Pidge when suddenly all movement stops. His eyes are glassy and far away, he’s obviously looking but not seeing what’s in-front of him.

Pidge freaks out. Shiro (one of her big brothers) was just discovered to be a clone, Lotor a maniac, and they lost the castle ship (their home) and now Keith (anther brother to her) has completely frozen and stopped responding.

She calls out to the other, panicking “somethings wrong with Keith!” The other scramble over to them. Krolia quick to her son’s side while the others circle around.

Lance, seeing as Shiro is down, Allura is reeling from all that’s happened today, and Keith is the one is trouble, takes charge of the situation.

“What happened?”

“I don’t know. We were talking and then suddenly he just froze up”

He’s still breathing and doesn’t seemed to be in distress. He’s just frozen. He’s not responding the them in anyway.

Until suddenly he gasps. His eyes going wide and he’s whipping around trying to get his bearings. He’s breathing hard and Lance and Krolia moves to stabilize and support him.

“Keith! What was that? Are you okay?” Lance was trying to catch his friend’s eyes and Keith snapped his head to him and locks eyes.

“They’re going to earth! The Galra! They’re going to attack earth! They’re going to kill Adam!” His breaths are panic as he tries to communicate the horror of his vision.

Lance feels like the floor has open up below him. “What?”

After panic and confusion. Krolia explains the visions in the space whale. How they had been blasted with visions of both the past and the future.

Since they spent two years on the space whale, it must have warped Keith connection to quintessence. Add that to his natural sensitivity to quintessence and his connection to Voltron, which enhances his abilities. This equals to a Keith how now gets visions from the universe.

The group is quick to decide to head to Earth. Coran tells them it would take a year and a half to get there and the whole group is distressed. They don’t have that kind of time.

Lance remembers how they got up here. That the blue lion created a wormhole all on its own. No teladuv or working castle ship.

Allura has always wondered how that was possible since only an Altean should be able to open one and that in a lion it would take an incredible amount of power. Power she might have now but after saving Shiro she needs time to get that energy back.

Time Lance can’t imagine waiting. His family is in danger. That was the whole point of fighting this war. To keep his family safe. He looks at Keith, who is more shaken that Lance has ever seen (he’s hiding it well from the others but Lance has always been able to read Keith) and he knows that the vision was so much worse then Keith is telling them.

They have to get to earth now!

But he doesn’t know what to do. Everyone starts packing up. Wanting to get moving as soon as possible with the trip as long as it will be. Keith takes a moment to walk over to Lance.

“Lance. I was thinking about what you said. About the wormhole that brought us here in the first place.” Keith pauses trying to find the right words. “It was just us. No alteans, not castle, just you piloting Blue.” He pauses again Turing to look up at the red lion.

“You know Red’s always been over protective of her paladin. I think- I don’t know maybe if you reach out to her. She might be able to open a wormhole home.”

Lance looks at Keith in surprise. “Why don’t you ask Black then? Or Pidge and Green? Or Hunk and Yellow. I mean your all a lot better-” the then I am dying in his tongue as he looks down.

“What are you talking about. You’re an amazing Paladin, and you’re the only one who’s gotten a lion to one a wormhole before. Not even Allura can do that.” He moves forward to place his hand on Lance’s shoulder. “Just give it a chance. The worst that can happen is it doesn’t work. Besides if anyone can pull this off it’s you.”

“Thanks Keith.” Lance smile at Keith and goes to thank him when Keith’s eyes go all glassy again. “Keith?”

Moments later Keith snaps back to himself with a gasp. His body lurching forward as if someone just struck him. The hand on Lances shoulder tightening its grip as his form starts to tremble.

“Keith! What is it? What did you see?” Keith straightens up to lock eyes with Lance again.

“It’s Sendak. He’s the one attacking Earth.”

“Don’t you mean he’s the one who will be attacking Earth?” Lance asked as he placed his hands on Keith’s sides to steady his shaking friend.

“Lance” Keith looked so scared and vulnerable “on the whale I had visions of the future and the past. I have no clue which I’m seeing now.”

Lance felt ice flood his veins. “So everything you’re see could have already happened?”

Keith couldn’t meet his eyes anymore “yes”

Lance take a moment to feel the horror of this all. Earth could already be at Sendak’s mercy before pulling himself together. For his family, who needed him to come save them, and for Keith who must have seen something truly horrific in his vision.

“Then there’s no time to waste. Let’s go home.” He makes a split second decision to pull Keith in for a hug. “We’re going to save them.” There was no other option. Not for Lance. Not when he had sacrificed so much to keep his home safe.

They separate slowly, lingering in a moment not meant to stretch.

Then there is yelling. Something is wrong with Shiro’s pod. Lance can see the fear and anxiety flood Keith system. He gently cups Keith’s face drawling his focus back. “I’ll get the others ready to leave. Go take care of Shiro.”

It’s exactly what Keith needs. The stress of the last few hours. Lotor, Shiro, clones, the battle with Lotor, his visions, and now Shiro’s in trouble again. Lance stepping in to take weight from us makes it feel like he can breath a little.

Keith rushes off to Shiro begging him to fight, to stay alive.

Meanwhile Lance helps Hunk and Pidge ready to go. He checks in on Allura and Coran to make sure they are ready. He makes sure Romelle has a place to go, she’s riding with him. She had wanted to stay with Keith and Krolia but Black was pretty full with Keith, Krolia, the wolf, and Shiro’s pod. Lance offers her a ride. He understands that she’s the odd one out right now and boy does he know how that feels.

Once they know Shiro is going to be okay. They’re ready to take off. Lance takes a moment to breath. He focuses on his bond with Red. ‘Please. I need to get home. Please help me protect my family.’

Let us protect our pride, Son of A-

Lance misses what Red was about to say when he heared Romelle gasp. In front of them is a wormhole. Lance smiles in relief ‘Thank you’ he sends to his lion.

“Lance! You’re-” Romelle is gasping and pointing at his face. He had expected her to be pointing at the wormhole but she’s looking straight at him. “Altean!”

Lances brain short circuits for a second. “I’m what!!!!”

When Lance was talking to red and asking for a way home his cheeks started to glow with the altean marks. His family had Altean blood as some escaped to Earth to hide a few centuries ago.

They head back to Earth and get there just in time to join in on the first firefight with the Galra. There are still casualties but Adam is not among them. The damage to Earth is far less than it is in canon.

Adam and Shiro reunite and recover together.

It is still a long fight as Sendak is determined to take the planet and keeps coming no matter how many times they push him back until finally Shiro and Keith end him once and for all

Keith is still having visions. Some are of the pasts of the people around him. Some are glimpses of the future.

He and Lance finally figure themselves out a get together. While Lance is introducing Keith to his family Keith gets hit with a vision. Lance explains what’s happening as he holds Keith’s hand and waits for him to come back to himself. It doesn’t take more than a minute. Lance braces himself for some horrible news, but Keith jumps up and runs straight to the kitchen. Everyone wonders why until he opens the kitchen door just in time for a pan in the stove to ignite. Someone had left the stove on and now there is a fire. Keith puts it out with no panic or surprise. Once the fire is handled, Lance walks up to him. “So your vision…” -Lance “house fire”-Keith.

Needless to say the family finds him weird but endearing.

Everything is going well until one night Keith wakes up screaming. Hagar is still alive. And she’s going after the Alteans. And Allura is going to die.

[elainsgirl]

no cause im tired of everything.

I'm sick of people talking about gwyn like shes the most important character ever. like yall don't actually care about her. they only like her cause shes involved with a batboy which is ridiculous. ("pro gwyneth" like be so fr... we barely know anything about her??? Like I like gwyn but stop making stuff up about her and saying shes saving the world.) that girl didn't show any romantic feelings towards him, so stop forcing it. (not to mention they never talk about emerie... interesting)

why is azriel getting shipped with everyone?? "gwyn is azriel's mate!" "no, its eris" "no, its bryce" "no, its mor" "no, its rhys dead sister" I LAUGH SO HARD AT THESE CAUSE WHERE ARE YOU GETTING THIS FROM???? I bet if azriel breathes next to anyone, they will automatically assume its his mate! leave the guy alone, my gosh.

"his shadows hate elain" just shut up. like fr.

"elain can go to the spring court and be with tamlin while az gets with gwyn and lucien gets with vassa" BAHAHAHAHAH. bro i cant even say anything to this because its ridiculous.

"if az finds his real mate, he will leave elain in a hurry" BRO. why do you guys think this man world revolves around wanting a mate so badly???? yall think so low of him its weird. if he wanted a mate oh so badly... he wouldnt go for elain! get that in your dumb heads!

now with the bonus chapter (elain and az part) im iffy about it. its good at the start but rhys and az argument gave me the ick but I understand what he meant either way. I can see why people didnt like azriel here. but to call him entitled is just WILD! he wasnt wrong questioning the cauldron. like why is he having all these mate behaviors towards elain when she has a mate??? I'd question the cauldron, too. feyre was so real when she said "why not make them mates" because they lowk fit no matter what anyone says.

now this was really irks me. "3 brothers and 3 sisters is so cliche" cliche??? bestie- do you see what we are reading??? the answer to the riddle was "love" out of all things. shut up with that dumb excuse. we have never seen 3 brothers and 3 sisters yet- well I havent. im pretty sure most of you havent either. if you read the BOOKS, you will understand that sjm uses the word 3 a lot. this is just common sense, people love to twist stuff.

Now dont get me wrong, I'll go for elucien or elriel. I dont care. but these gwynriels made me dislike az and gwyn together. like I used to go along with it but now they force it so badly "READ THE BONUS CHAPTER" "DID YOU READ THE BONUS CHAPTER" "maKe suRe yOu rEad iT cArEfuLly" "he chuckled with her" "they glance at eachother" "az and gwyn are going to save the world together" "i hope nesta, emerie, gwyn and az leave and make their own court" < (I fr saw someone say something like this) sister... I literally cringe! just please stop.

btw elriels gwyn isnt evil. stop saying that.

im so sorry for this rant. it just had to be said.

lmfao the need to vent is so real. This fandom TESTS your patience at times.

I think one of my biggest annoyances with Gwynriel is the fact that Gwyn doesn’t even like Azriel that way. Instead of focusing on how far she’s come, her accomplishments etc everything seems to go back to Azriel. If you ever truly look At gwynriel theories and headcanons the focus is always on Az and Gwyn doesn’t have much of a story by herself, she doesn’t lead a story. She is a follower/tag along. I will always say this again and again: If she was that important to the point of having anything to do with the prisons, trove, TT/Gwydion she would have been introduced earlier on in the series. It’s that simple. She has nothing to do w the prison, Koshei or even the daggers/made objects. Everything about gwynriel is forced - from Gwyn and Az having feelings for each other to their plot. Barely anything of that ship makes sense when you truly start to unravel it.

Az is getting shipped with everyone except who he truly wants and thats just comical. I guarantee you, If Az interacted with any other woman - gwynriel shippers would split so fast and some will start shipping him with the new woman.

“His shadows hate elain” … why were they ready to strike Nesta all because she insulted elain? They also speak so can’t they literally just tell Az “hey man, we dont like elain”. Then part of this claim comes from the fact Elain made his shadows skitter which is something Az does himself.

I so want Elain to go to Spring and mention how she finds it stiffling/claustrophobic. Elain going to spring to live there is ignoring everything about her character and only focusing on the fact she likes flowers and by their own logic, Nesta should go to Day and Feyre to a more artistic court.

If Az soley wanted a mate and was so desperate for one - why on earth is he pining for someone WITH A MATE. It literally defeats the purpose of him getting a mate. Also its such a stilt to his character for him to want a mate and then get one. It doesn’t allow character growth and makes the idea of “mates” seem as a prize instead of this romantic connection. If he wanted a mate so badly, this man would be going after women with no mates. Not one that has a mate. The logic behind this arguement is so stupid,

Azriel’s bonus to me parallels Feyre’s whole scene where she questioned the cauldron because of Azriel. It was Sjms way of bringing it back and reminding us of it. Telling us “look! Another character is doubting elucien’s bond! Why is Az questioning the cauldron” etc. The only part of Azriel’s bonus where I got the ick aside from his and gwyns’ awkward conversation- is when he said Lucien doesn’t deserve Elain. I get where that statement was coming from but he isn’t someone to decide who deserves who. This is what doesn’t make sense: antis call Az entitled for simply WONDERING why Elain was given to Lucien, he hs made no move to break elucien up. He hs not forced anything onto Elain. He doesn’t dictate or control her interactions with Lucien, the fact he hadn’t planned a future for them either all show he is far from acting entitled. But eluciens needed a way to make Az seem bad and lucien better hence why latched onto this argument when it doesn’t make sense given what we know about Azriels character, his thoughts, actions and what he said in the bonus.

“3 sisters and 3 brothers is cliche” whilst reading a romantasy series ( a genre filled with repetitive cliches) by an author who claims to be the queen of cliches. Every single fated mates ending up together? Cliche. Omg the trainer and his trainee fell in love? How unique. Its not like that is also a popular trope. I cannot give you any book/s in which 3 sisters end w 3 brothers, I however can pull out multiple books with the fated mates/warriors/trainerxtrainee tropes.

Too bad. Mass loves the IC - There is no reason why Nesta/valkryies and Az would go to another court. Wait - but the night court is Azriels home. Its where he belongs, unlike Elain who has to leave…but now they want Az to leave too? One thing you can trust antis to do is be consistent with their inconsistencies. Honestly, I was open to the idea of gwynriel but genuinely none of their theories or HCs make sense. In a general sense gwynriel is a good ship sure but you can generally ship any two characters together from the series. It doesn’t mean it’s happening & they’ll be endgame.

Gwyn definitely isn’t evil. However I do think she has the potential to become morally grey which im all here for.

[admirationandromantics]

Stormy Confession

Another request! Don't worry, I do have several more in my inbox, but please be patient, they will come eventually! Anyways, hope you enjoy this. As usual, it's not edited, but who cares?

Word count: 1,9k (Unedited)

They’re BEST friends with benefits, so there is already an established chemistry between them. They’re stuck in a snow storm anddd “im totally kidding but im kind of freezing rn and my heater’s busted” so they decided to hook up in josh’s very roomy car, only to realize “hey ik im being dramatic but we COULD die rn so i need to confess that im in love with you…” lmao my writing is so jumbled but i know you could do wonders with this idea!🥹🥹

The wind is getting worse, almost like it’ll tip the car over. Josh is sitting beside me, driving the car, all tensed up by the stress of it. Usually, I would comment on it, but I understand the gravity of the situation. We just need to keep going, we don’t have that far left. 

The trees outside are dark. Gentle snow taking its place on the pine needles. If it weren’t for the storm, I would love it. Luckily, it’s clear enough that we can still see the road, but I wonder how long that’s going to last. 

I check the weather update, but it’ll not clear up until the middle of the night. If we were to stay in the car until then, we would have to climb the mountain in the dark. This is not something I want to do, but I guess at this point, it’s a must. We just have to stay clear of wild animals, navigate in the dark, try not to slip down the path again. 

We were planning to get to Blackwood Mountain and the Washington lodge. Of course, we went a day earlier than the others, planning on cleaning and getting the place ready. What none of us idiots thought about doing, was to check the weather. About halfway there, the snow got worse. It came in quick patches, making driving hard, and freezing up the car. 

“Josh, it’s literally freezing in here, can you turn on the heater?” 

“It’s busted, was gonna get it fixed after the trip” 

“Of course you were” 

I lean back in my seat, pulling up my backpack and taking out my gloves. At least some part of me would stay warm. As we drive on a long straight row, he leans back and manoeuvres the car with his knee, bringing both hands up to his face to blow hot air into them. Poor guy. I remember that he brought some extra outerwear, just wondering where he left them. My thoughts fly to his bag, he couldn’t have placed them in the front, so back it was. I lean over the mid row and back, trying to find his bag in the back seats. 

“Where’s your backpack?” I ask, rummaging through a bunch of stuff. A blanket, some firewood, a plastic bag. Why is there so much stuff here? We don’t need all of it, and I know for a fact that the lodge has large stacks of firewood. 

“Keep looking” he laughs, not bothering to help me. 

“Josh, just tell me where you put it” 

He laughs, one hand going on the back of my thigh, slightly squeezing my flesh. That’s why he’s being difficult. He just wants to tease me. 

“Stop being a perv and tell me” I sigh, not exactly being a fan of my position. He should be busy driving, not checking me out. 

“But I’m enjoying the view” 

“The only view you should be enjoying is the road in front of you” 

I finally notice it, a small backpack with a scarf and gloves sticking out from under the seat. I lean a bit more forward to reach it, earning a whistle from the guy. I roll my eyes, grabbing the clothing and trying to move back. I get halfway before he speaks. 

“Hard swing” 

“Wha-”

The car takes a rough turn, making my body jolt to the side. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Can’t this man drive a little more carefully? If this unplanned storm doesn’t kill us, then he definitely will. I fall to the side, hips landing in his lap, faces against each other. He has that known playful smirk on his lips, proud of his dangerous accomplishment. 

“You good?” 

“You’re insane” 

“Nah, just a good driver” he shrugs his shoulders, trying not to laugh at himself. 

“You’re not a good driver” 

His arms move over me, holding onto the steering wheel in front of him. His eyes finally move to the road, and he keeps driving as if everything’s normal. I try to sit up, but his hands won’t budge, leading to me falling down again. 

“Josh, if you would be so kind” I force a tight smile, nodding to the caging arms. He looks down, the playful smirk still covering his lips as he thinks. 

“Do you have my gloves?” 

“Indeed I do” 

“Put them on me” 

I look at him in disbelief, what was he, a child? He can easily do that himself. I shake my head, laughing a little at the situation. No way am I going to do that. He has one hand on the wheel, the other held out to me. I roll my eyes, deciding that this is enough. 

I try to get up yet again, but this time, his empty hand finds my chest and pushes me down into him. I give a loud and dramatic sigh, which makes him fully reveal that stupid laughter of his that he’s kept in. 

“You know I could sue you for this?” 

“I can sue you too, disrupting the driver” 

“You made this happen” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about” 

I give in, laying against him and relaxing while he drives. No way am I going to be his servant. He’s not that rich. We sit in silence for a couple of minutes, both just minding our own thing. 

Just now, I realise how much warmer I feel while brushing against him. Body heats colliding as he holds me close. A cozy and sleepy murmur comes over me, and I close my eyes, drifting away as we continue driving off. 

***

I press my eyes forcefully together, opening them little by little. The outside is darker than before, and Josh’s still driving into the night, eyes focused on the road. I stretch, giving a yawn at the same time. He shifts his gaze, a smile immediately finding his lips. 

“Well, well, if it isn’t Ms. Sleepy” 

“How long have I been gone?” 

“Around half an hour” 

I nod in reply, head turning to the dark forest and snowy rocks. We were almost there now. 

“And no death yet, I’m impressed” I comment, sitting up as high as he allows me. 

“Wind almost took the car about 10 minutes ago” 

My eyes widen in surprise. Is the weather really that bad? Shouldn’t we stop and wait for it to pass? The thought of it scares me, after all, the mountains this time of year are not that safe as everyone makes them out to be. I mean, if we’re in the lodge, it’s okay. But we’re not. We’re in a moving vehicle, which almost got flipped by the wind. 

“Hey, don’t worry. We’re almost there” 

I nod again. The parking lot is a bit more secluded than the road, so the wind won’t be as strong. But how’re we getting up to the lodge? The cable car is already a death trap, no way I’m going to sit in it during the storm. 

A road hole makes me yelp, body jolting up and down. I automatically grab hold of his arm, steadying myself. His lips thins as he bites them, eyes forced on the road. His breathing changes, big stuttering inhales as if to calm himself down. 

“Josh, are you okay?” 

He doesn’t look down on me, instead his vision is on the path ahead. His knuckles are white from gripping the wheel, and I glimpse a vein popping and going under his jacket. What’s going on with this guy? 

We finally swing into the parking lot, and he parks the car and turns off the engine. We sit in silence, both unsure about our next move. With his arms not in the way, I finally sit up. I grab his shoulder for help, and he takes his arm to my back for support. 

“I don’t think we should go to the lodge yet” he comments, looking out to the cable car station. 

“I know, we’d probably be blown to bits” 

“That’s one way of putting it” 

His other hand goes to my waist, pressing me down on him. That’s when I feel it. He’s hard, very hard. He’s been since the road hole. 

“Are you struggling a bit, Josh?” a smile creeping up on my lips. Oh, how pleasant to finally have some of the power. 

His hand goes to my hair, brushing it away. 

“Oh, you have no idea” 

His head moves closer, fingers gliding over my cheek. He’s cold, extremely cold. It’s like gracing ice taps against my skin. I pull away, taking his hands in mine and warming them.

“You’re freezing” 

“Better do something about it then” 

He moves into me, capturing my lips in his. I respond, opening my mouth a little and licking his lower lip. I don’t forget about his hands though, and carefully puts his gloves on them as we keep going. I change positions, and he helps me, letting me straddle him in the driver's seat. His hands go to my ass, kneading and caressing. I moan into the kiss, which he uses as an opportunity to stick his tongue in my mouth. He fiddles with something behind me, and before I know it, ice-cold fingers make their way down my pants, holding my cheeks. I gasp, the shocked feeling being overcome. This was extreme, why hadn’t he said something about it before. He chuckles against my lips, mouth moving to my jaw and neck, leaving sweet kisses all over. The wet spots get instantly cold when he moves away, and I shutter. 

“W-we should not do this here” 

“I know, I know” 

“We’re going to freeze to death” 

“A bit dramatic are we?” 

“J-Josh” he stops in his tracks, lips glossy and eyes lustful. We both know that we can’t start undressing. With the heater not working, and the snow storm getting worse, that’s the last thing we should be thinking about. God, how dizzy the whole situation makes me feel. I don’t want to be down here. I want to be up in the lodge, alone with him, in front of the fire. 

“Or get eaten by wolves” 

“No we’re not”

“What if an elk attack the car?” 

“We’re not a threat to them” 

“If we’re going to die, I need to confess something” 

“We’re not going to die”

“Five more minutes and your fingers would snap off as easily as bending a carrot” 

“True, but-” 

“Josh…” I put my glove-covered finger over his mouth, stopping his sweet remarks. If there was a time to say it, it had to be now, before we both froze to death, in his car, to be found tomorrow morning by the others. 

“I love you. And I know, we’ve had this whole deal or something where we’ve had sex, and yeah I mean several times, but that’s not the point because I couldn’t stop myself, and please don’t stop seeing me as a friend after this, I promise I’ll get over it, but it’s just something I need to get off my chest or else I can die and not-” 

He shuts me up with a kiss. Hands still on my ass, pressing me deeper against him. 

“Fucking hell, you talk a lot” 

“You already know that about me” 

“Just shut up and kiss me”

[daenysthedreamersblog]

SECRETS OF US - V

i love you, im sorry

you were the best but you were the worst

as sick as it sounds, i loved you first

i was a dick, it is what it is

a habit to kick, the age-old curse

masterlist // previous chapter // next chapter

summary: fate was a funny thing, it seemed to be incessantly chasing you in the form of a kiss intent on being your doom

pairings: modern!coriolanus snow x reader

warnings: MDNI! swearing, smut (we are so back), fingering, handjob

You just need to breath, if you can breath you'll be okay.

His knuckle brushes against yours.

Inhale. Exhale.

His thumb traces your bottom lip.

Inhale. Inhale. Exhale.

He breaths you in.

Fuck breathing, and fuck Coriolanus Snow.

You can't stop thinking about him, about the taste of his warm breath, how you wanted to swallow it down like you needed it for air. You didn't even want to know when that had suddenly appeared within you, how you could only focus on him. On the strange comfort you found when your face rested in his hand, how his eyes suddenly softened when they took you in.

You dig deep, you try to remember hating him, you try to hate him, but its so hard to feel those feelings even after reminding yourself of the long burning history written in the stars.

"Flickerman wants you out there." One of the costume designers says to you, and by the looks of it she had been saying it for a while and you simply weren't listening. 

"Okay." You nod watching as she smooths down the pretty dress she put you in for the play's rehearsal. "Okay." You flex your fingers, ignoring the sweat in your palms, and walk out of the dressing room. You knew what scene was today, the one he had finally wanted to rehearse again, and you knew you could only run so fast from his lips before fate caught you.

He's standing center stage holding a folded back script, brows furrowed as he reads. He's wearing a white button up and black tie loose around his neck, a costume, a part, you had to remember that. He finally looks up at you, blue eyes dark as they take you in, his normal smug smirk appears, the feel of animosity attempting to come back between you two, "You look hideous."

You glare. You're so pretty when you glare at me.

The blush tinged your cheeks at the remembrance of his husky words.

Flickerman claps his hands, "Alright folks!" He walks across the stage towards you. "Let's get romantic."

Your stomach turns and you were annoyed by his excitement towards your displeasure. You know your face is scrunch in disgust as his elbow nudges you, "Come on he's not that bad." He wasn't but you were regretting not dropping out sooner in order to not deal with this, not deal with your heart pounding with anticipation, and maybe that had been his whole big plan to chase you away all along. "Okay action!" He runs from the stage to take his spot in the fourth row back.

Coriolanus cleared his throat allowing you both a moment to slip into your characters. He's in front of you the next second, hand slipping up to your cheek, "Please," His face seemed pained, "Don't."

"Don't what?" Your forehead creases.

Eyes flicker around your own, "Leave...just yet."

"Give me a reason to stay." You whisper.

He swallows. "I...I..."

Your hand goes to his wrist to slowly pull it from your face, "Even now the truth scares you so."

"The truth isn't the issue." His brows furrow as he stares down at your intwined hands. "It doesn't matter what I feel, what I want, we can never be together. It would be better to let me go, let me let you go."

You drop his hand, "Is that what you want? For me to never think about you?" You take a step back, "To live a lie?" He nods slowly, "Then teach me. Teach me how to not feel this way."

He scoffs. "I wish I knew how. I'm consumed by you, undone by you..." He blinks and you think its because he is adding in dramatic flair but his blue eyes quiver. He forgot his lines, he forgot...He stares at you, through you as if he could see every fractured part. "I burn for you."

That wasn't the line, wasn't his characters words. You're moving before you can think, hands coming to cup along his neck. He's rigid and his brows furrow in anger. You're searching his eyes, his face, and realize he's not angry at you and he didn't forget his lines at all. "Say it." You whispered. "Say it was real." The hatred or whatever weird thing was going on right now, you're not sure. You need him to admit to something, and maybe then you could too.

His hand shoots out to grab your face walls going up behind his eyes as he growls out, "You're a fool."

"Then tell me you hate me." 

You're surprised Flickerman hasn't stopped whatever mess this was. Coriolanus opens his mouth, but closes it shortly after.

A breathless laugh leaves you,"You really do want me." You glance around his face, "And you hate it."

"You're just a habit I need to kick."

You barely have time to inhale before he kisses you and suddenly the world seems to cave in on itself in that moment of contact. Time slows, you're lost in it for that strand of connection with him, in soft lips, in fingers tangled in the base of your hair. You were two stars colliding taking the world with it in a single kiss. It burns through your skin, exploding within you like a supernova engulfing everything you've ever known in blue flames. Your mouths are moving, melding together, tongues sliding between teeth, brain reeling with utter nothingness, but him.

"Cut!" The two of you snap apart, faces flushed as you take in a blank expression on Flickerman's face. You open your mouth to apologize, to explain, but his face breaks into a grin. "That was...perfect! I love this direction, did you two come up with this?"

He shakes his head, "Uh...no uh that-!"

"Improv? I love it!" He's beaming. "I'll pencil this all in you two are truly in-tuned with your..." You can't hear him over the ringing in your ears, over the harsh pounding in your chest. 

You glance over at Coriolanus who's staring at a wooden plank on the floor completely dissociated from the same reality. Theres a gentle furrow in his brows and you wonder what emotions are causing him to disappear into the back of his mind.

You go through the motions of the rest of rehearsal, not even present as you get undressed to put on your normal clothes. You wanted to get out of your head, wanted to stop thinking about him this way, it was impeding on everything.

The harsh chill breaks everything up as you focus on walking forward down the street tucked deep beneath layers of wool. You tuck into yourself deeper feeling colder and colder the farther from the building you walk. The only thing scorching hot seemed to be your lips, still numb from a kiss you should have never received, a kiss that would always haunt you. You tug the door of the store open relishing in the warmth spreading throughout the rest of your body.

You take your hand out of your pocket, pulling the glove off with it and your phone. You search for your friends' names. You need to call them, divulge your withering soul to them; instead you tuck it back into your pocket. Not yet...not yet. You're not sure how to even begin that conversation with yourself, let alone your friends.

You peruse the racks of clothing trying to lose yourself in retail therapy instead of thinking about Coriolanus's hands running through your hair, the feel of his tongue in your mouth. Your cheeks are heating at the mer thought of it, at the taste of him, at wanting more of it. You chew on your cheek, fingers mindlessly pushing hangers around not entirely all there.

The door's chime goes off and the energy shifts inside of the store. You know it's him, you just know. You could always tell when he entered the room, even before...this. His presence demanded attention, before it had been fierce loathing, but now it seemed to be intrigue...curiosity. You had two options: pretend like nothing ever happened on that stage, or run.

You look up at him as he stands on the other side of the rack. "It's freezing out there." He says so casually; it makes you forget how soft his lips had been against yours.

"Yeah." Your eyes dart to said lips before back at his face.

"What are you looking for?" He motions to your hands still resting on hangers.

You try to shrug. "Nothing really."

He smirked, "Then why are you in the men's section." You suddenly look down at your hands resting on men's dress shirts. You step back not even realizing you had been in the wrong section. His deep chuckle follows you as you step around him, "Hey," His hand softly lands on your arm. "Want to go get a coffee?"

Yes. "I uh..." You close your eyes. You did, you wanted to go and talk to him about what happened, make sure it was nothing, make sure it was something. You're not sure what you're looking for in a conversation, so you choose option two finally. "I have to meet up with Clem in a bit."

He drops his hand, face hardening. "Tell her I said hi."

You smile softly before turning and running from him.

You know it's wrong, but you do it anyways as your fingers run through strands of white blonde hair, as your tongue slips into his mouth, as the whole stage goes up in flames to hide the burning hidden desire sparking from your chest.

You needed to stop, needed to peel yourself off of him before Flickerman, or yourself for that matter realized this was more than just acting.

Because what else would explain the need of him?

It's a disaster, nothing but bad news as you use every chance you can get to kiss him, let him kiss you, let him pull you against his body and connect it all. Rehearsal after rehearsal you're jumping his bones, and maybe he is letting you, as the kisses last longer, as you start to feel swept away in it all. Maybe he's just as weak.

You were right, I am just as loathsome and lonely as you.

Once you finally able to detach yourself from him the true horror started as you would stare at your dark ceiling warding off sleep thinking of him, what this all meant, what had it ever meant, and the worst of all; was this some big ploy to reel you in to then destroy you once and for all. The last one kept you awake long into the night.

But as soon as you're back on stage with him you're lost once more, sucked into a black hole of him, time a forgotten existence as your hands twist into the fabric of his shirt. It felt good, too good to be true, that an enemy had somehow given you a perfect kiss, passion and longing driven from the depth of fire fueled hatred. 

He consumed you and for once you ignore every warning thrown your way, even your own, it didn't matter, only this, only him. The very fabric of reality was shifting, changing from this very moment, and you knew, you had known the minute you began walking towards him that day nothing would ever be the same. You forgot to care. You couldn't care, not as his hands slid into your hair, not as his tongue explored your mouth, as his body pressed against yours.

But Flickerman would yell cut and that has you shooting backwards away from him electricity still zapping through your lips as you traced them. You stare at him with heavy breaths taking in his darkened eyes and flushed cheeks knowing you looked just as wild. You needed to say something, anything, but words failed and all you could do was run from him, run from the expression lingering around his face. You knew joy, anger, confusion, sadness even, but you couldn't place the one he would get once you finally separated yourself from him.

Everything comes crashing down on your little slice of delusion when your seated on a prop couch with him. He's too close, the body heat radiating off of both of you, his cologne, a smell you had always gagged at, now smelled too delightful. You know he's going to kiss you, know you've been waiting on baited breath for action to be called, dreaming of him swallowing you whole.

You avoid looking at him as he pulls you closer by the back of your neck. You watch him lick his lips and then your mouth is on his. One hand slips around his neck to pull him closer as his tongue explores your mouth like you weren't being watched by classmates. Because that's how it felt, like you two were committing arson together, watching the world burn around you taking this stupid theater with it. 

His hand traces a line down the back of your ear. Your hand trails over his thigh fingertips accidentally moving too high, brushing slightly against his hardening cock. 

Your name falls from his lips like a man sent to worship.

He freezes, you freeze.

You pull back looking up at him, watching every strange emotions pass through his blue eyes until it settles back onto a familiar anger. You pull back further, no he wasn't angry, not really. 

It was fake.

You let him go and sit up as rehearsal continues on around you. You disappear into the back of your mind as questions and doubts spin around everything you ever knew, and nothing you wanted to know it all.

"To stop feeling this way, to know it doesn't always lead to ruin." 

"You're so pretty when you glare at me."

"Burn me until I'm nothing but ashes."

Little seeds scattered across a ruinous timeline that had started long before the bones of this earth, or so it felt. You're spinning out the whole way home avoiding ever looking in his direction as you leave.

You peel at the skin on your nails while you try to distract yourself from everything that had happened. You want to call your friends, spill you roiling guts to them. You wanted to call him, see him, understand him, kiss him.

You opened a bottle of wine instead, turned your phone off, and put on some horrible reality show. What did it all mean? You couldn't seem to find the answer within the depths of your own mind, you couldn't find sense. You winced as the skin gave way, blood bubbling up from the small self-inflicted wound, so you stood up heading for your bathroom to grab a bandaid out from under the sink.

Once wrapped, you head back to stew in anxiety when you stop, eyeing the book still sitting peacefully on your nightstand. You're walking towards it before you can think about it, tracing the title, flicking through pages you had read too many times with thoughts of him. You bought the book the day he has recommended it in class, you figured it was some way to thwart him, embarrass him by proving how stupid the book was, prove you knew more than him. You dragged your bandaged finger along highlighted sentences when the knock sounds down the hall. You know it's him when your heart jumps in your chest, the book now suddenly pressed against it as you go to open the door to him. 

Say something. 

"Regret giving me your address huh?" He chuckles taking in the sight of you, the book clutched underneath flimsy bandaids and chewed nails.

You're still holding the door open, you could close it, end this tragedy before it even begins. "You do come here a lot."

He coos, "You keep letting me in." His smile falters as he takes a step backwards. "Take a walk with me." He nods down the hallway. You should say no, you should force him to have a conversation with you right here, right now...or never if you wanted. Close the door. You set the book down on your counter, grab your coat, and follow him.

The door closes behind you.

It is silent for the most part as you; white flakes gently floating around you under midnight blue skies. You hear the faded honks, various distant yelling from pedestrians, more useless noise. "Jungle of background chatter." He smiles over at you reminding you of your spilled guts over sacred sand.

"Those poor boats." You tuck your hands deep into your pockets. "Trapped in ice."

He chuckled, "Nah, they sailed away somewhere warm."

You glance up, at the street lights, at the buildings towering overhead. "Some always stay."

"I guess so." He's watching you, you can tell by his voice turned towards you. "If they had a reason to."

You look over at him. "How unfortunate for us, to be stuck in this frozen city while they get flee to warmer waters." You sighed, "I should have went with them." Flee the cold, flee your mind, flee from this man confusing everything you thought you knew.

"There's still time."

You shook your head, "I'm trapped like those poor little boats."

He snorted, "You're not a boat." He cleared his throat looking down at his feet, "Don't stay stagnant."

"I move where he tells me." Your shoulders brush.

He stills, "Then stop listening."

The clouds shift, white light cutting through the clouds and you take in the bright moon. You wanted to tell him you had been, tell him it was the one thing you were horrible at, sob out your story how it pained you to stretch the tether between you and your father, how for some reason you couldn't cut it for foolish selfish insecurities. You watch the snow fall, watch it catch in his hair, on his eyelashes. You wish you knew how to be weak, how to bare your soul to someone who had once been a threat, know that he wouldn't betray your trusted secrets. You wonder if you ever could, and for that reason you find yourself stepping away from him despite the warmth of his presence next to yours.

You shiver. "I am freezing though." You nodded back the way you came, "Can we head back?" You head back around towards your block curling inside your coat more as your breath swirls around you. He holds the door open for you as you hurry inside your building taking the stairs to warm up quicker enjoying the heat blasting through the vents. He's behind you, following you silently up the stairs like a shadow.

You fling your door open hanging your coat back up and blowing into your hands. You scoop up the book again, intent on settling it back on your nightstand when the sound of your door closing isn't heard. You turn back to see him, "Are you going to invite me in?" He's standing at the threshold; reality at a breaking point as his foot teeters along the edge of everything.

"You're not sly Snow." 

He watches you as you take a few steps away, "I can keep my hands to myself kitten. I'll be good."

"When have you ever been good." You rolled your eyes.

"Touché."

He crosses the room in one quick stride smashing your lips to his the book clattering to floor beneath you. It's heated and intense and filled with unrestrained feeling. You felt it all like a freight train hitting you as you open your mouth for him to delve inside of. You should have felt weary, embarrassed, strange, but all you felt was want, for him, for this. His hands grab on your hips and he's moving, pushing you until your legs hit the couch and you're falling, falling, falling...

He's there, hands around your body, teeth grazing down your neck as your pulse throbs beneath skin. You're shoving at his shirt, opening it up to run hands down his bare chest, as he pushed yours up until a hand cups your breast. A sigh is breathed onto your collarbone as he kneads his hand into the flesh of you and a few seconds later he sinks his teeth into the bone. He slithers fingers behind you unclasping your bra to let the fabric bunch up around your chest. It should be awkward, but he doesn't care as he drags his mouth over your bare nipple. 

You moan as his tongue swirls around the bud and his fingers dig into you harder. Your back arches, his hand toying with the other one, running his fingers around it as you tug on his hair. And too soon, he's pulling back, hair mused from your hands and blue eyes dark and heavy. You'd never seen him look like this, look at you like this; your head spins. Suddenly that unfamiliar expression comes into view with clarity; want, it had been want on his face every moment you were forced to break away.

He unbuttons your pants, but stops you before you can tug them off. "Not like this." Is all he says gently pushing your wrist away. 

"How do you want me?" It's whispered and you sound too desperate. You don't care, you were desperate.

He chuckled to himself as his hand disappeared beneath your waistband and long fingers run down wet folds. "Truthfully?" You nod as you chew on your bottom lip. "Tied to my bed where no one can hear you scream for me." He pushed his fingers into you and your head falls back with a curse. "Just me." He's curling his fingers, pushing them in and out of you with delicious precision. You're clawing down his muscled chest, feeling the rub of his palm against your clit sending shockwaves up to your skull. "That feel good?"

"Yes." You groan out tiling your hips to take his hand in deeper. "Let-Let me..." You're fighting with the button of his pants to dig your hand into them stroking a palm down his hard length. 

"Fuck." He stutters as your hand slides along him as his hand starts to fuck you harder. You swirling around his cock, twisting your hand at a too awkward angle to run your hand along the whole thing while he pressed down hard at your clit feeling warm starlight burning under your skin.

He leaned down swallowing your breathless moans, shoving his grunts down your throat. It's all spit and teeth and sighs of pleasure until finally his grip bruised you with stuttered movements cum spilling along fingers and down your wrist. "Coryo." You moan, back arching as you orgasm soon after.

It's starry eyed and dismantling how the euphoria washes over you underneath someone you had sworn to destroy. Yet, here you were, pleasure dripping out of you for him. When you come to he's staring down at you, hand still buried in your cunt and for a moment you seemed unwilling to let it all go, to move on from the intense moment. Your brain is too mushy to comprehend any of it, to make sense of how bright his eyes seemed as they stared into yours catching breaths. You take your hand back as he pulls his out of you, and then you roll off the couch to wash your hand. As you close the door you see him put his fingers in his mouth and everything burns through you once more.

You stare at yourself, the glazed eyes, the flushed face, the glow from yielded pleasure. You chew on your cheek as you wash your hands, as you splash cool water across hot skin feeling the lingering touch of him everywhere. It's gone the next second dread replacing warmth as cold water runs down your neck; this had been the plan right? To make you give yourself over to him, give your power over to him through moans and spread legs. He's planned it all, faked softness and genuinity to make you put your guard down so he can slip through the gaps of armor. You dry your face and leave the bathroom to face him with walls high and armor tightly back on. He's still seated on the couch chest still exposed, pants still open at the top while he skims the book. Moonlight pour in over him, he looks like a statue of some long dead god, cut from marble, sculpted from precious stone lounging along your couch. He looks beautiful and you miss when you didn't say that about him.

He looked up at you as you stand there rigid; his shoulders sag.

He closed the book, "Don't look at me like that."

"Like what?" You cocked a brow.

"Like you think you know who I am," You opened your mouth but he continued. "And you hate him." He sighed standing up, "Do you always think the worst of me?" 

"I only know that version of you." The cruel enemy you had always kept too close. "What are we doing? What are you doing?" Your eyes narrowed, "Is this all some ploy, some game to entertain a dark place within you?"

He pauses, taking in every feature on your face. "Let me take you out tomorrow night." He stared down at you.

You raised your brow as he avoided your question, "A date?"

"A date." He came closer hand wanting to come up, but he left it at his side, the only indication was the slight twitch in his ring finger. "A proper date." You eyed him suspiciously. "Just you and just me, no more feuding or lying or armor, just us. And then I'll answer your question."

"Just us?" You like the word too much.

He nodded, "Us."

next chapter coming soon!!

[soft-persephone]

Something Real

MDNI // E // WC: 9.5k // smut, oral (w receiving), glove kink?, hand kink if you squint, John talks you through it // masterlist // rough drafts // AN: I had a time getting this one started, but as hard as it was, I also had fun and I may make it a series. Who knows?

Imani rushed down the block, flying past the few pedestrians that were up at this particular twilight of dawn. 

Raw adrenaline coursed through her veins as each leg collided with the concrete below her feet, jolting her with such force to her goal. 

She snuck a glance behind her to see him catching up with her. 

Fuck. 

He was catching up with her. She couldn’t let him get any closer. Barely a minute ago he was nowhere in sight and now he was gaining up on her.

Diggin deep within herself, Imani mustered up whatever strength she could find in her body, grunting with force, she somehow gained speed. 

You train for this, she told herself. This is what you do, its who you are, no random fucker on the street is going to take that away from you. You were going to live and you were going to win. 

Just a few more seconds and she’d be at her shop, and she could finally escape. She would win and be free.

“Aye!” from the corner of her eye, Imani saw a blur of black wool rush past her to who was behind her.

What the?

Another man was rushing towards her, but she didn’t stop. Sheh couldn’t, but he was just as fast, going step for step with her. 

He slowed down when she did, reaching out to grab her, by the shoulders. Instead of her usual sloppy slow down, she collided face first into his chest.

“It's okay now.” his velvet tone flooded her senses, “you don’t need to keep running. We got him.”

Oh God.

Imani frantically tapped at his chest with the palm of her hand when she saw his friend in the dark wool coat handcuff the man running after you.

“N-n ugh- no.” she gasped for air, half choking when she couldn’t breathe in enough, “no.”

“Alex!” Elle waved him down, quickly shifting her attention once he started to jog over, “NO!”

“What do you mean, no?” Alex huffed shortly, the condensation of his breath filling the space between them as he shoved the man to the side, so he wouldn’t be near her, but he could still hold onto him. “We arrived here, just to see this man chasing a woman who looked scared out of her mind. We can ask him questions once we get downtown.”

“A race!” Elle explained, as she turned her phone around, so he could see she was livestreaming on instagram, “she was scared of losing a footrace.”

“A footrace?” The man holding Imani scrunched his face as he held her back some to look at hers. She nodded, her chest still falling up and down.

“I wasn't doing nothing!” The man finally spoke up for himself. “It's just a thing  Citrusly does.” He huffed, shaking his head, “you beat the owner in a footrace, you get free drinks for a month. She’s only here Tuesday morning’s  5am to 6am for it.”

Imani felt like she could breathe a little better once Alex uncuffed the man.

Alex’s expression shifted to something more guarded, but not quite pleased or relieved, slightly sorry, but only slightly. He uncuffed the man and pushed him. 

“Get out of here.”

“Fucking cops.” the man muttered, brushing off his clothes.

“I’m sorry about that. Are you okay?” Imani put her hand on his shoulder, looking him over as she would have done if the situation was dangerous, which it was not, but she had a business to run, and right now there were lots of phones recording them.

“I’m fine now.” He beamed at you. His body language shifting. 

“That's good.” she squeezed his shoulder lightly, giving him a polite smile, praying it didn't give him any ideas, “because of accidental arrest or not, I still won, so you don't get the one month discount.’

“Mani!” Elle scolded her, but she ignored it. 

“Are you kidding! I totally would have had it, if that man didn't tackle me!”

“He tackled you three steps away from the shop door.” You pointed at Alex’s cop accomplice, “this man didn't grab me until I stopped running which was at the shop door.” she waved her hands up as she finished proving her point, “You lost.”

The onlookers cheered and laughed, some going back inside and others going on about their day as you attempted to console a sore loser.

“Tell you what,” Imani put her hands together in front of her, “As an apology, because of my friend’s actions, I’ll give you a drink and a pastry today for free, on me.”

The man, Donnie, she just learned his name was, nodded. He had a sweet smile that went well with his light brows eyes and freckled face, a few spots on his cheeks much whiter than the rest of him. You would have been all over him in high school, but right now, you weren’t  so sure if you were up for anything with anyone.

“I’d really like it if I could also get,--”

“No more no less.” Imani interrupted with a playful smirk and a laugh. “That’s my final offer.” she licked her lips, ignoring how his eyes followed the movement. “Take it or leave it.”

She bounced back and forth on her heels, laughing softly and averting her gaze at Elle who looked at her like a disappointed mother. She ignored the smirk on Alex’s face and the coy look on his friend’s

“Alright.” Donnie relented, even taking a step back. When did he even get so close? She wondered. How did she let that happen? “But I'm challenging you again next Tuesday!” he pointed at her, smiling.

“I’ll always be here.” Imani opened the door for him and waved him off with one more smile. 

“Damn,” a rich voice called behind her as the door was taken out of her grasp and swung open wider, “mm mm mm, that was cold blooded.”

Imani huffed through her nose, praying she didn’t jump from how he startled her. 

“Right,” Alex chuckled, pushing past her in the shop. 

“Tell me what you’ll say if the same person asks you out on the same day every week, but you keep giving the same answer each time, and they can’t take the hint.

Imani shook her head and made her way behind the counter to make everyone's usual.

“Every Tuesday?” 

“And Mani’s too stubborn to actually say yes.” Elle Huffed, “He’s nic–”

Imani took the opportunity to raise the pressure of the steam wand to cut her off, blowing  a cloud of steam in front of her. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to cut you off.”

“I’m not falling fo–”

Imani did it again. 

“Will you–”

She did it again. 

“Sorry, I was actually making a drink  that time.” 

Imani placed it  in front of her. “This one’s yours.”

“Giving her a look, Elle took her drink and left to go to the usual table. Before you could ask Alex’s friend what he wanted, he was already following her.

“Does he—“

“He will eat and drink anything you put in front of him," Alex deadpanned with a hint of a grin. “He greedy as hell.”

Imani will always love her best friend Elle, but she was doing the absolute most, and so was Alex.

She  and her friend have been close since college. Truly the sister she’s  always wanted, so when she finally got the guy she’s been obsessed with since high school, it sucked that they didn’t get to spend as much time together as they used to, but Imani was a big girl, and she knows she can handle not being first in line anymore. 

She’ll settle for two.

But right now, number two was confused on why it was so important for them to meet the best friend, that was more of a brother, to the man her best friend was dating. 

“Just to be clear, I’m not the one in a relationship with Alex, right?”

“Mani!” Elle warned through gritted teeth. 

Imani raised her hands, backing off. 

“You are my family and you’re important to me,” Elle put a hand on Imani’s shoulder, “just like John is to Alex.”

Imani wanted to fold in on herself. 

She looked up at the ceiling to avoid Elle’s gaze.

“And as your family, I’d like to know where you have been in the last week. You weren’t answering  your phone and no one had seen you anywhere. Is it because of what comes up in two days?”

“No, I’m fine.” Imani shook her head,” I just needed some time alone with my thoughts. Is it healthy, probably not, but I know what I want, and I just needed to take that time.”

“So you're okay?” Elle asked softly. 

“I was in my apartment. I just chose not to pick up any calls.”

She playfully rolled her eyes and averted her gaze from everyone for a moment. They were all looking at her now, and she didn’t even know what else to say. 

Fuck, Elle for doing this to her. 

“Okay.” Imani hoped it didn’t come off as short as it sounded to her. All she could feel was her face burning and her ears muffling everything from how hot her head was getting. She shrugged off her jacket for good measure and took a large sip of her drink. 

“John,” he held out his hand, breaking the ice first, “Sampson.” He said as you shook it. 

“Imani.” She half smirked and  waved a hand in an obvious gesture, since Elle has done nothing but call it out every five seconds. 

“You have a last name, Imani.”

“Nope.”  She said, popping the p.

“It’s Lounds.”

“Like The Lounds Enterprise Lounds?” He raised an eyebrow. 

Imani smacked her teeth and leaned back, crossing her arms. 

“Now why’d you have to go and tell him.”

“So you’re his semi-estranged daughter he doesn’t like talking about.” 

“We’re not estranged.” She huffed, “I just make my own money.”

“And how’s that working out?” he chided. 

“John, don't start with her. Once she gets started, she won’t stop.” Elle smiled as she gave her input, failing to hide her smile as she did. Not quite a master at 

“Good.” Imani beamed, grabbing a cinnamon roll and picking it apart as she ate it.

“Aye,” Alex frowned, “you're wasting a perfectly good common roll.”

“It's a habit,” Imani said with her mouth half full, “it’s a test for texture. Jimmy taught me. I've been doing it all week and now, whenever I eat a pastry, I pull it apart .

Imani talked on, going into detail about texture and doughs and mouth feel as she watched John grab a muffin. 

Interesting. 

She laid out an assortment, just like she did when she met Alex here the first time. Who had a knack for picking out which one was the sweetest just by looking at it. 

Muffins could be sweet but they weren’t sweet like other things. 

“Slow down Sugar,” John brushed his hands of crumbs, “it ain’t going nowhere.”

“I’m sorry what?”

“It’s a nickname.” Elle mused.

“Sweet tooth.” Was all Alex said, focused on getting the rest of the cinnamon roll in his mouth. 

Well that explains it. 

“Why are you dressed like a  Gangbanger from LA?” 

Imani looked down at her clothes, picking at the fabric of her Dickies jacket and pulling the oversized sleeves over her hands. 

“They were Deonte’s.” She licked her lips before smiling slowly. “He was from LA and he did live that type of life at some point, but I- I think something happened and he used the last of his money to fly out here,” her chest used to feel tight when she talked about him. It used to make her shake and take her breath away, but now. . . Not so much, “so he was uh- I think that’s why he was homeless when I met him.” She nodded, feeling like that was enough for now. 

“I’m sorry I don’t mean to—“

“No, it’s okay,” Imani smiled softly, “I like talking about him.” She said in a half whisper, thinking of her long lost friend. 

No one said anything so she felt the need to interject, or rather Alex and Elle had heard all this stuff before, but the opportunity to show someone else Deonte as she  knew him, to share who he really was with anyone who listened, she’ll never pass that up. 

“He left that behind once he got here, I helped him get on his feet. . . let him stay with me. . .save up for a new place, but there wasn’t any need for that. We got so close and the housing market was shit, so I. . .  somehow, convinced him to stay with me.” She gently cleared her throat, “for good I think.”

“That’s when he started the nonprofit with you?” John graveled, his  interjection startled her. She blinked at him for a moment, remembering she had an audience. 

“Y-yeah.” She smiled. “How’d you know that?” She leaned forward, but kept her hands in the sleeves of the too big jacket, “people don’t usually know that.”

“I make it a habit to keep up with things that benefit my community.” he took a non communal sip of his drink before tilting his head and squinting at ut with a low short hum, “ You two did good work.” he shifted his attention back to her, “  You,  do good work.” 

Imani’s shoulders fell with a tension she didn't know was there. His dark eyes reflected a glimmer of. . Joy? A sort of complement of  reverence she didn’t quite understand. 

She searched his eyes, the feeling overwhelmed her, but she let it. She couldn’t stop the way she held his gaze and searched for more, eagerly taking as much as she could get in that moment, but then she realized what it was. 

He was proud of her, of Deonte and the work they did together, and the work she kept doing after his death. 

A feeling her father long since neglected to give her. A feeling she forgot she used to devote herself to once she removed herself from her father’s influence. 

“You don’t like saying thank you either, Imani?”

She inhaled sharply, leaning back in her seat. 

“I- I uh.” 

“Most people say thank you when they get a compliment.” He said casually, but there was something in the inflictions of his voice. How the colors of his tone would sway and flow across a spectrum like a musical scale. Going from something light and casually rich and pleasant to something low and imposing. 

A skill she’s sure he’s picked up to properly reprimand and deal with the criminals he may catch, but she was no criminal and there was no danger. 

So why use it so flippantly?

Her mind felt foggy, but she knew not to ask.

“Say thank you.” He took a sip of his coffee. Imani watched him intently, confused in her sudden stupor, her eyes following the micro movements of his face, his hand, soaking in the way the leather of his gloves creaked and strained with the movement. How his tongue darted to reach  the foam of  the latte that settled on the hairs of his upper lip, catching in his beard. 

“Thank. . You.” She averted her gaze, ignoring how tightly her legs were pressed together. 

“Leave that girl alone.” Alex drawled, breaking the spell, “she’s trying to have a heartwarming vulnerable moment and you keep messing with her.”

John rolled his eyes. 

“And you need to take some notes, so you can learn to do the same instead of bottling everything up until you explode, motherfucker.” 

Imani winced and let out an “ooh.”

“You gon’ let them gang up on me like that?” He glanced at Elle in mock offense.

“He’s right though.” She took a conspicuous sip of her drink. 

“Don’t do him like that,” Imani fiddled with the hem or her sleeve, feeling normal and letting her hands out of the jacket, “everyone grieves differently.”

“Exactly,” Alex held out his hand in a fist, not putting it down until she bumped it, “unh, that’s what I’m talking about. We gotta stick together.” 

 “Stick together as what?” John smacked his teeth. 

“Dead partner club.” Alex said matter of factly. 

Imani nodded in agreement. 

“I grieve different.” She said in a partially nasally tone and pitched her voice lower. “Huh.” 

“What?” Elle looked at Imani as if she was being an embarrassment, again.

“None of y’all listen to Kendrick?” Imani shrugged back.

“Is that hat an artist of some kind? Is he one of the rappers you like to listen to?”

“Elle, do not play with me,” Imani bristled. Because they’ve been friends for how long? And she still wants to act  brand new whenever she brings up the goat.

“See, this is why Jannie thinks you’re old and I’m not.”

Alex bit back a laugh, but John let it fly, not having to worry.

Elle shook her head, not taking the bait because you were in mixed company, but if it was only the two of you, she would have definitely taken it there. 

“Anyways,” she said pointedly, “I need a favor.”

Imani laughed through her nose. 

“Shoot.”was all she said, Elle already knew she’d do anything for her. 

“I need you to accept your invitation to Jonesy’s  dinner party with me and—“

“Ugh,” Amani loudly scoffed and downed the rest of her drink and grabbed her water, not looking up at Elle, “anything but that, Please.”

“It’s just for one night.” She urged, there will be lots of amazing people and you’ll even find more donors for your organization. It’ll be amazing for networking.”

“Okay,” Imani frowned, “fine fine fine.” She kept saying until Elle stopped talking. “I don’t care. I’ll just go.”

This was more than a hopeful answer for her. Ellle softly squealed. 

“You’ll like this one. I promise.”

“Please don’t,” Imani scoffed into her drink, “I don’t want you to be known as a liar off something like that.”

“I think that’s our cue to go to work.”

As Alex bundled back up and kissed Elle goodbye. 

Imani watched as John stood and fastened his coat. 

“Are you okay?” Elle brought her out of her daze. They were long gone and out the door but she was still looking out, “You seem out of it today?”

“Y-yeah,” Imani muttered into her glass of water, “just thinking about Deonte.” 

________

Fuck. Imani cursed to herself. 

Fuck fuck fuck.

She paced back and forth on the sidewalk. 

She hoped  her eyes weren’t too red. It was a bit ago and it took her a while to get here, so maybe it’ll wear off before dinner starts. She just needed to get over it by then. 

Her usual stuff was gone and she frantically kept calling her main guy until he was able to come through, but he had everything but what she usually buys from him. 

Going against her better judgment, she settled for what he had and it was way too strong and it felt way too different, and now everyone was going to know she was high and she’ll embarrass herself, and they’ll hate her forever. Then Elle wouldn’t  want to be her friend anymore, and her Dad will find out, and he’ll cut her out of his life and from the family forever. 

“Fuck!” She shouted into the night air, searching for some reprieve. 

“Mani?” 

“Oh,” she softened some at the sight of her friend, “hey.”

“Are you alright? I brought the gummies you left at my house.”

Oh right. 

She did ask for Elle to bring it. That’s where it was. 

But it was too late. She was already on some other stuff and she had to smoke it and worry that none of it stuck to her skin. 

“No, I’ll be alright without it, but thanks.” She took it and hid it in her purse, and that’s when she saw the little baggie of pills.

Fuck, she was screwed. 

In addition to T seeing her have a mini panic attack he have her the pills free of charge, insinuating she take them. 

“They’re real anxiety pills and shit. People use ‘em just to feel good, but you may want to see a Dr to actually get them prescribed. Let me know if you need something stronger or not as strong, and I’ll hook you up. Take care of yourself.”

Imani closed her purse. 

She’ll just wait until the weed wore off and she wasn’t high to take one, she might not even need it at that point. 

“Imani, let’s get out the cold and inside already.”

Huh?

Imani blinked. 

Alex and Elle were giving her odd looks at the door. 

“Sorry, I zoned out.”

She followed them. 

She needed to pull herself together. She’ll get busted at any point if she keeps this up.

“You guys made it!” Jonesy kissed her and Elle on the cheek. Alex held out a hand for him to shake, but Jonesy pushed his hand away, going straight for the hug. 

“Oh we know each other better than that, Alex.”

“Uh, yeah.” Alex patted Jonesy on the shoulder, politely putting an appropriate amount of space between them. 

“Your coats can go in this closet here.” Jonesy pointed, “Make yourselves comfortable. You all know your way around the place.” He flashed them with a smile and a slight wave, “I’ll let everyone know when dinner is ready.”

“WOW, you look gorgeous Imani!”

“Thank you.” Imani pretended to be flattered by the backhanded compliment. 

Since Deonte’s death she’s developed a nasty habit of wearing his clothes and adopting a lot of his personal style into hers. The extravagant more feminine outfits or even her own particular  style of streetwear was seen less and she wore more dickies and carhartt than anyone in her old circle  had ever seen in their life. 

“Are you planning on returning to the court anytime soon?”

“No, I left my tennis days behind me, I fear.” She chuckled lightly and moved on, making sure not to be rude.

Five more interactions and twice as many more comments about her long silky dress that hugged her curves and how the color complimented her skin, Imani felt like she had a little more control of her senses. A sense of herself had begun to return to her.

“Come here.” A velvety low voice resounded in Imani’s head, and a hand firmly grabbed her and dragged her into a half hallway half corner. 

Was that God? Some sort of Angel punishing her for everyone to see, making her an example of his divine punishment?

“What’s wrong with you?” 

Imani gasped  half a beat after he spoke, her eyes widening as she came face to face with John. 

He grabbed her face in one hand, his thumb and forefingers  slightly digging into her cheek as he moved her face up, down, and side to side. 

“Weed.” She managed to squeak through her squished lips. 

“You sure it’s just that?” He let her go, pulling up a little baggie in front of her face. 

“H-how did you?” 

“Don’t worry about that.’ He steeled. “Answer my question.”

Imani blinked, piecing together her thoughts to remember what the question was again. 

“I’m fi—“

“— no you’re not. Your friend asks you to come somewhere as a favor and you decide that’s the perfect time to get high.”

“That’s not it.” Imani hissed. “Let me answer.”

He held her gaze, but shut up. 

Good. 

“I smoke to take the edge off of being here, not to be out of it completely. Although sometimes, you do need to get that high.” She ignored the disapproval on his face and continued, “I left my usual stuff at Elle’s, so I made a quick irrational decision to take something  else, even though I knew it wasn’t going to go well because I refuse to be  here sober.”

“Doesn’t explain these pills.”

“They're back up—“

“They’re a crime.” Imani flinched at the bite in his voice. “I could arrest you just for having these. You already admitted they were yours.” 

“I just—“

“John, you made it!” Elle’s warm soft voice filtered out between them. 

“This is why we don’t bring you nowhere. Can’t show up anywhere on time. Don’t take your coat off and shit.” Alex shook his head, saying the last part lowly so no one around them could hear. 

John didn’t spare them any pleasantries and Imani must have looked as panicked as she felt, so much for being discreet. 

“What’s going on here?” Alex's expression fell, his brows drawing close and his mouth falling shut into a firm line to match John’s.

John silently flashed the bag of pills before stuffing them back in his pocket. 

“Your friend is high, out of her mind.”

“Is that why you said you didn’t need the gummies?” Elle turned to look her in the eye, but Imani turned, not wanting her to see the look on her face. But Elle stepped closer, gently grabbing her shoulders. 

Imani kept her gaze cast to the side. 

“Mani,” Elle whispered, “what did you do?”

“I called Tony and he didn't have what I wanted, so I had to take what he had and then he recommended these pills  he said  they was for anxiety or something like that because apparently he thinks I have it or that something’s wrong with me  and offered to be my unofficially psychiatrist or some  shit but then advised I see a real one if I took these and felt like they helped but I wasn’t going to take them unless the weed didn’t work which it isn’t so once it wears off I’m taking them but I can’t now because he took them so I—“

“Mani, breathe.” She sighed. 

 Imani hated that sound, and she  hated the look on her friends’ face even more. . 

“I’m sorry.” It spilled out of her mouth. “I just wanted to feel comfortable in my skin. I didn’t want to be here.  I just want. . . I hate how they look at me.”

“It’s okay, Imani.” With a tissue, she didn’t see her pull out her purse, Elle dabbed at the tears she wasn’t aware of, “let’s just get through tonight.”

“I’m sorry.” Imani urged, desperate to show her sincerity. . Her mind not letting her come up with anything more thought out, everything she was feeling felt messier and harder to describe. 

“I know, I know.”  Elle cupped both sides of Imani’s face and brought her forehead to hers. 

“Let’s talk tomorrow okay.” She gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and Imani gave her one back on hers. “No excuses, Elle added.” A smile pulling at the corners of her lips. 

“If I have to hurt Jimmy to make time for you to be with me this week , don’t get mad at me for it.” Imani smiled back. 

“And I won’t.”

Imani nodded, for some reason feeling better.

John didn’t look like he approved any more or less, and Alex’s face seemed unreadable to her. 

“Can I have my drugs back?”

“No.” John said seriously without missing a beat.

Imani rushed to him and pulled at the front of his shirt. 

“You can keep the pills. I just need the other stuff that’s in there.”

If she remembered correctly, there might have been some shrooms and a bit of weed left.

He pried her hands off his chest.  

“Are you seriously asking a cop if you can have your illegal substances back?”

“No, I'm asking a cop if I can have the  legal substances back that happen to be in the bag with the illegal ones.”

“You mean you’re illegal ones.”

“Please.” She stepped into his personal space and rested  her chin on his chest, craning her neck up as she did so she could look him in the eye.”Please can I just have the mushrooms back?”

“Oh just the mushrooms?” He raised his eyebrows.

“Yes!” Imani leaned back from him. Happily grabbing at his arms as they rested at his sides. 

“Well I’m that case,” He started to move  his hand  and Imani immediately stepped back to accommodate him,” no.” He shrugged his coat off his shoulders and straightened his blazer on his body. 

“John, don't antagonize her.” Elle lightly chided.

Alex nodded in agreement. A hint of amusement in his eyes. “Elle’s right, don’t antagonize her John.”

Imani slumped forward, letting her cheek rest on his chest as she pouted.

“What are you doing?” John said, too exasperated to even let out a sigh, ignoring both  Alex and Elle.

 His display of emotion was a delightful anomaly to Imani. How could he look so upset but nonchalant at the same time? 

“I’m not moving until you give them back.” She huffed through her nose.

“Then I guess we better get comfortable.” He murmured in a low peeved voice, flooding her senses with its bass and depth. She could listen to him speak forever. 

“Mani, no.” Elle hissed. “Get off him.”

“He has my drug—“

Alex lowered himself so he was at her level and could get in her face. “Get. Up.” He said through gritted teeth, his tone sending a chill down her spine.  

Imani  rose to stand straight, but she was not happy about it. 

He didn’t  leave her any room. She tried to step past him, but he took one forceful step forward, backing her into John’s chest. 

“Act like you have some sense.” He pointed in her  face. 

“No one told you to do these drugs and no one told you to bring them here. Be grateful John, or me, isn't  arresting you in front of your friends and dragging  you out that door.”

“I—“

He  wordlessly gave her a look, daring her to speak and interrupt him.

Imani shut her mouth.

“If you’ll do what I say, then you’ll do what he says, do you understand me?”

Imani nodded silently, not wishing to provoke him further. 

He patted her cheek and then backed up to take his place by Elle’s side. 

“You aren’t my fucking Dad.” She muttered under her breath. 

“What was that?”

“I said you aren’t my—“ 

“Dinner is ready!” Jonesy popped around the corner with a smile. 

On instinct, Imani plastered a smile on her face and shifted her body language to something casual that suggested polite conversation. 

“Thank you, we’ll be right there.” She slightly bowed her head. 

“Oh,” Jonesy paused, his brows raising, “when did you and John get so close?”

Imani was no longer resting onto his chest, but she hadn’t removed herself from his personal space. While she would no longer lay on him as he stood, she settled for resting her hands on his lower half, close to his pockets. 

She’s been attempting to ease them in his pocket and take her drugs out, but he either smacks her hand away or grabs it before squeezing very tightly until tears pricked her eyes, so she just kept them there in case there was a small window he wouldn’t notice her hand slipping into his pocket again. 

“We haven’t.” Was all Imani said, her smile unwavering. 

Adding to her amusement, John stayed silent behind her. 

She watched out the corner of her eye, as he discretely moved the bag from his pants pocket to the one  inside his jacket. 

Fuck. 

There goes plan A.

“Everyone to their seats.” Jonesy declared loudly, his voice filling the room before scurrying off with a terribly concealed grin. 

Imani was very familiar with dinner parties at Jonesy’s house. He was a stickler for order and had a flair for presentation, decoration, and all things that went into being a great hostess.

One of those things he never budged on and will always obsess over to every minute detail, is the seating arrangement. 

Childish as hell to some, and by some, mostly her, the seats were often set by a system only he understood, something about the structure to set up the perfect flow of conversation, so they never lulled and no one was ever bored. 

Imani had the same seat around the same people each night, but not this time. 

She was by John, Imani and Alex at a completely different spot by the head of the table. 

The fuck?

They were practically at the end. 

When Imani brought Elle, they were placed closer to the head but not there directly. Imani would be on the left and Elle would be on her right. 

She peered down the table to glance at Alex and Elle once more. 

He was on her right. 

Imani’s brain struggled to put the pieces together.

“Imani,” a blond woman who had a clearly younger and equally  blonde man stuck to her side. He fawned over her every movement, but the hollow glint in his eyes was off putting.

 A forced  display of desire? Or was he really that bad at hiding how much he hated the woman who was undoubtedly paying him to be here? “I heard you were investing in restaurants? What a cute adventure.”

“Not investing,” Imani took a careful sniff of her green beans before taking a bite, the accent of almonds in some type of balsamic glaze? Went really well together, a perfect way of combining flavor and texture, but the green beans were undercooked, making the dish crunch unpleasantly in her mouth, “I own a cafe and I’m slowly making my debut into the fine dining community here in DC. There’s this chef– Jimmy Raines, who reached out after visiting my cafe and trying one of my pastries. He—“

“So it’s true?” She smiled thinly, smirking, “you’re actually making food in these places? You aren’t just investing?”

“Well I, for one,  think it’s wonderful,” a brown skinned gentleman next to her interrupted, “Imani is truly exemplifying how she's the best of us each and everyday, and if she figured out a way to get income from her hobbies, then I say brava.” 

Imani gave Sharvesh a quick smile of thanks, but turned her attention back towards her plate. 

There was the option of Chicken or Pork Chop, and she went for both. 

The chicken was perfect, but the porkchop was dry, even more so  disappointing, they both were seasoned the same. The flavours were not too compelling, not even in a garlic powder onion powder way of simple and good, Only salt and pepper, but they weren’t that high quality in cuts that warranted such a simple flavor palette. 

They at least could have been basted or crusted in some type of herbs. 

The only good thing had to be the potatoes.

Fondant, to be exact. 

She made a mental note to ask Jimmy to teach her how to make them. 

“May you pass the potatoes down, please?” She had to have more, her stomach felt like it opened a portal and transformed into a bottomless pit that would never get full. 

Before she could put her fork down and take the platter, John had already reached for it, his arm more than long enough to reach over for it before she could. 

Wordlessly, he puts some on her plate for her before adding some more to his owne, 

Imani thanks him softly, and digs in, not wasting any time. 

“Can I have them back now?” Imani leaned towards him to whisper in his ear. 

“If you behave.” Was all he said in between bites of his food. 

Sighing, she takes another bite of her chicken. 

Sharvesh directs his attention towards her, ready to say or ask something else, as he takes the platter back, but John interrupts him. 

“You mind passing the chicken down here too?”

“Of course.” His shoulders drop some, but he complies, recovering with a quick smile. 

They were going dish per dish, plate for plate. If he wanted something, she also wanted that something and vice versa.

Dessert was atrocious and she couldn’t fight the indignant sound that came out of her mouth. 

It was some type of… peach cobbler inspired thing. . . Shaped cylinder made up of layers. The peaches were clearly canned, insipid, and flavorless, overwhelmingly covered in fructose. The layer of crust was dry and it fell apart in the mouth in the worst possible way. The only good thing  about it was the scoop of ice cream on the side. A terrible choice for the presentation, but at least something about it was edible. 

“Can I have your ice cream?” Imani said a little too loudly. The disgust in her voice is clear and easy to pick out  in her semi inebriated state. 

Imani was seconds away from loudly complaining, before John pinched her side faster than she could speak. 

John leaned towards her, and dropped his voice. “This is not behaving.” he hushly growled in her ear with more bite than she could physically comprehend. He wouldn't dare openly glare at her, but the threat in his voice made up for what his face could not.

She swallowed, ignoring the chill that ran down her side and the knot of warmth that quickly raced through her lower belly. 

Imani flinched away from him. Unable to fight the fear that he might do. . . Something. 

The look on his face and tone of his voice made her think of a look she remembered a mother giving her child in public one time. 

Apparently, she is acting out. 

“How was dinner? It was nice wasn’t it?” Elle questioned as they stood around once more for cocktails. 

“Don't ask a question and not give someone a chance to answer.” Imani scolded into her cup without looking up. “And then don't give your answer first.” 

“Well someone’s clearly sober.” Ellle half singed in a soft voice. “How do you feel?”

Imnai frowned, pondering.

“Upset. . . but not like, disappointed.” She licked her lips. It would be mean to say it out loud , but she couldn't fight the nagging voice in the back of her head. The thought of saying it, seeing her say it, and all the possible reactions of the words once she said them, were starting to become its own beast. The thought of not saying it at all begins to eat away at her and she now has to say it.

“Upset. . .dinner was, well it wasn’t terrible but it could have been better.”

“You and John practically ate half of everything?” Alex’s brows drew together.

“That was mostly potatoes and the. . “ She turned towards John who was scarfing down one of the “dessert cocktails, “what was the vegan dish?”

“Red pepper chickpea souffle’.”

“Hot hummus.” Imani nodded matter of factly.

“Definitely sober.” Elle said with a shake of her head and a smile.

“I’m sorry,” Alex interrupted, looking concerned, “are we just okay with Imani being rude as hell for no reason.”

Imani’s face felt like a child’s would if they’re parents told them no after they asked for ice cream. Her cheeks puffing in another pout.

“It's not on purpose.”

“She was raised to be emotionally unavailable and is learning to express herself emotionally.”

“Elle!” Imani said shortly in warning.

“She left her feelings wheel at home.”

Imani opened her mouth to defend herself, but quickly closed it in realization.

Elle was doing this on purpose. Why? 

“Ain't nothing wrong with trying to better yourself.” John interrupted out of nowhere. “The right way is always better than self medication.” he tossed his drink on the nearest tray as it went by. “But what do I know? It's not like I got a degree in psychology or anything  fancy like that.

“Nigga, done read two books sand thinks he knows something.”

Imani laughed, rolling her eyes.

They said their goodbyes and grabbed their coats, shuffling back out into the chill of the night air.

“Mani!” Elle called out.

She turned, the wind whipped at her face. The snowflakes falling into her lashes slightly obscured her vision,“Yeah?!” She called back.

“John’s taking you home.”

And he did.

“There are more things than drugs that can take the edge off” he was so close, his words rumbled against Imani’s face, pulling at something within her  and making her pussy throb. 

Her tongue felt thick as she licked her lips. 

“Like what?”

Like what included Imani’s bare  back to his still dressed chest, watching his leather clad fingers rub torturously slow firm  strokes against her clit. 

“Please. . . “ she whimpered, throwing her head back into his chest, her smooth bare  legs shamelessly spreading wider, straining against his pant legs. 

She attempted to grab his offending hand with hers to do something, anything, but he stopped her, restraining  her hands against her chest in a tight grip.

“I’m so close.” She tried again with a sniffle. His deft fingers found a way to circle the sensitive nub of her clit even slower, before sliding off down her lips and into the wet center of her pussy. He curled his fingers in an equally slow pace, fueling her desire and bringing her back to the edge. Driving her insane, but nowhere near what she wanted. 

“Look at you,” he trailed firm sloppy kisses down her neck before coming back up. Imani Relished the feeling of his lips. Craning her head back into his chest so he could trail them along her jaw. 

He pulled his fingers out of her pussy to hold her chin back, her arousal pooling between them on the bed and what was left of it on his fingers trickled down her face as his lips locked onto hers in a backwards upside down kiss. 

She keened into his mouth as he wantonly pushed his tongue past her lips to slide his tongue against hers. 

“I wonder what sound you’ll make after you taste yourself on my tongue.” He added another finger and started sliding them in and out of her at a faster pace. 

“Oh,” she softly let out. 

He brought his other hand to her clit, letting go of his cruel grip on her hands. 

She immediately brought them to his arms, squeezing tightly at his sleeves, but she wouldn’t dare stop him, not while she felt so good. 

His finger glided across her clit at a steady cruel pace. With each stroke of leather against her puffy nub she gushed around his other fingers that slid in and out  of her pussy. His thick long fingers were filling her up. 

“Look at you,” his voice was hot  and low as it brushed against her ear,  “all that talk, but you do just what I want you to.”

“Please,” she strains, somehow straining her legs wider. He responds by curling his finger into her, digging her out and hitting a spot she didn’t know was there. Her hips chased the movent, and he didn’t stop her, letting her fuck herself onto his hands.

“And you ask so sweetly” his rich dulcet tone was a song in her ear she didn’t want to end. She’d let it get stuck in her head forever. 

“You wanna cum for me?” He added another finger not waiting for her to respond. 

Imani mewled, blinking away a stream of tears as they stung her eyes. 

His words pulled at something within her. The desire had her body ablaze, but his request was adding a foreign feeling into the mix. Tinging her desire with another burning emotion that electrified her nerves and filled her with something akin to bashfulness or fear, but it was a fear colored with an excitement for more that she would never admit, unless  he made her, and something told her he could. 

He pushed down on her clit. 

She cried out against the movement, her hips jolting foward in shock, but pressing against his hands just as much, increasing the impending pressure, causing her to leak onto the hand that was sliding in and out of her. 

“Cum for me.” 

And she did. 

Her legs jolted and tensed, as she spilled into his gloved hand. 

Before she could let out any moan, he snaked his head around her to swallow any and every sound in a kiss, his beard danced against her cheeks as he did. The slide of his tongue on her matched the movements of his hand buried in her pussy as he buried them inside her, coaxing  her through her orgasm.. 

Once over, he eased from behind her. 

Imani layed back onto her sheets with parted lips. Watching with hooded eyes as John stood over her. 

She swallows the lump in her throat as she watches him enveloped his own gloved fingers  past his lips, lapping as much of you as he could off them. 

When he slid his hand out his mouth, something in his face changed, making her body flush with even more heat. The thin sheen of sweat  on her body started to burn, unable to catch up with her ever flowing desire and the man who caused it. 

He tugged roughly  at  his gloves and threw  them on her nightstand. 

Her hips dipped in the bed as she watched him unbutton his shirt, revealing the expense of flushed dark brown skin overflowing with a warm undertow of gold. 

She pant for  more, her tongue threatening to lathe out her mouth at the sight.

She needed her mouth on his skin. 

The smirk he gave her as he shoved himself out of his pants sent a jolt through her body. 

“Keep those legs open. I want to taste you.”

And taste her he did. 

Imani shoved at his head as much as she could, pushing with all her might, but he ignored her and latched his mouth on her more firmly, sucking hard at her clit. 

His bare hands felt even better, but she couldn’t take it. 

Her lips were sore and puffy and her clit was aching. 

Each push and pull of his finger inside of her brought another tear to her eye, and his mouth on her clit only made her keen and whine at the pain, but her pussy had other thoughts. 

What she registered as pain and too much, her body only felt an override of pleasure. 

Her legs strained open, pathetically begging for more and giving him easy access. She gushed and flooded his tongue with each cry, whine, and whimper. 

“Please, please, please. . .” Was all her brain would let her say through her cries of ecstasy and tears. 

“I’m giving you all I got baby,” he added a third finger, his voice against her puffy pussy making her squeeze each and every one of them, unbearably filling her up more than her mind could comprehend, “what more do you want.” 

He switcher from sucking on her clit to lathing it with his tongue. Swiping with slow firm movements. Her hips follows each one. With his tongue hitting her clit just right, his fingers stuffed snuggly inside her, and his beard scratching oh so pleasantly at her sensitive overstimulated skin, she came again without warning, 

He hummed against her, making the feeling that much more euphoric and that much more unbearable. 

He pulled his fingers out of her. As they slid out, they were followed by a hot sticky stream of her arousal. 

“You’re so creamy.” He kissed her inner thigh, smearing the mess she was making further along her body, 

He pushed his tongue in her, his beard scratching overwhelmingly at her pussy. Wet, sloppy sounds and matching slurps filled the room as he continued to eat her out. 

Imani clutched the back of his head, pulling at his hair. She’d had enough. She couldn’t take anymore and she needed to put a stop to him now or else he’d kill her. . She’d be surprised  if her knuckles weren’t raw and split in the morning from how hard she was pulling, but it only encouraged him, 

He moaned into her, making her whimper and lose her grip,

“Please. . “

She didn’t realize it until he was looking at her through her legs that she had came again. 

He looked half crazed. A hunger so deep and intense, she had to avert her gaze, but her eyes were  back on him once he made his ascent towards her. Without looking away, he crawled over her body. 

“Come here.” He said like velvet, leaning down, he trapped her in a hard kiss. Haunting her senses and  pushing against her further, swiping against her mouth more intently than he had the entire night. 

“Mmh,” she whimpered in between kisses. They were soft and keening. 

When she had made one particularly drawn out mewl his hips pushed against hers, causing his dick to smear precum against her lower belly. 

 “Mmmmm.” He broke the kiss in satisfaction. “Keep that up.”

He moved her to her side, putting one  of her legs around his waist as he settled behind her on his side. 

“You ready?” He smirked against her ear, kissing her right below it. His breath was hot. 

She shook her head into the sheets, straining her eyes shut in worry. 

If he wasn’t holding her, she’d collapse into the bed, and her pussy was worn out and tired. 

“Oh, you can take it. Don’t be like that.” The gentleness of his voice was in contradiction with the cruel way he rubbed his dick through her folds. Holding one hand at the base, he meticulously and cruelly swayed it from side to side before smacking it against her pussy and then repeating the action. 

“Mhm,”  she  whined in protest, “stop.”

“See, “ he ignored her, "you can,” he pushed inside of her without warning, “take it.”

Imani couldn’t remember the last time she felt so full. She couldn’t  remember the last time she wanted someone to fill her up. He was opening up a desire she forgot she had. 

He started with slow languid thrusts. 

“Damn, baby.” He moaned in her ear. “Damn—“

She clenched around him, making him swear. 

He thrust into her harder and she keened, her walks opening back around him.

“Just like that, keep taking it,” he graveled in her ear, “you take me so well.”

Imani mewled, squeezing tight against him once more. 

His hips snapped harder, pushing through how tight her pussy was holding onto him. 

“Fuck. . .” She moaned softly. 

His hot chuckle danced on her skin as she swore for the first time tonight. 

“You like that baby.” 

She let out a drawn out moan.

“You like when I tell you how good you're doing? Like when I tell you how good you take this big fat dick? That you let me fill you up like this? Dig you out?”

He licked his lips before kissing along her neck. 

His beard rubbed deliciously against her skin, the satisfying scratch heightening her senses. 

She let out a long string of incoherent noises, unable to talk back. 

He smirked into her  neck as he pushed her onto her belly, snapping his hips into hers at a grueling pace, her walks desperate to keep as much of him inside as they could. 

Without wanting, she snaked her hand around to grab his head and pull him closer.

“John.” She moaned.

His duck jumped inside her. 

“John.” She called out again. Her voice was soft and strained with need. 

A need for him. 

John had plenty of women who wanted him, who threw themselves at him, and sometimes it was women he may have wanted just as much, but he can’t call how many of them needed him. Not like this. Not this much. 

That wasn’t his style. That’s not who he was. That’s not how he got the name Two-John.

But tonight, he’d let himself be needed. 

But only for a moment. 

Mustering up the last of his strength, he thrusts into her harder, faster. 

She went limp under him. Her hand slipped out of his  hair and beside her head. Not taking any chances, he grabs her hands and refrains them above her head. Her pussy throbs around him and he makes a mental note of that. 

She whimpers, keens, and mewls, and shuts up.

Freeing him of thoughts of being needed. 

“You like it rough too?” He slowed down, thrusting as hard as he could with each stroke, letting her feel every inch from tip to base.

“Cum on this dick baby. Cum for me.” 

He enveloped her neck with his teeth, biting hard. She moaned  into his mouth and he moaned as he felt it vibrate in his lips. 

By some unforeseen power, she did. Imani came just when he told her too. 

She squirmed in his mouth. But as his hips slowly moved her through her orgasm as he also came down from his, she attempted to move her neck but he wrapped his hand around her throat as he bit her again,  squeezing firmly. His other hand grabbed at her hands, leaving her at his mercy. 

He let go of her neck, lapping at the intentions of his teeth before moving to her collar.

As her pussy painfully throbbed, snd the sting on her neck followed suit, an odd sensation like she was being punished washed over her as she settled down.

“John.” She called out again.

It seemed to pull him out of his trance. 

However, he didn’t move his mouth off of her without one final clench of his teeth. She whined, shuffling against his grip and the feeling of his dick softening and the condom inside her.

He peeled himself off her.

Imani felt an odd sense of Deja vu as she watched him with hooded eyes as he moved above her once more that night. 

His chest rising and falling heavily under a thick sheen of sweat. 

She had had one to match, her skin sticky as well, but she was so exhausted her lungs failed to rise and fall in her exertion. She only pant silently into the air. 

John was going to tell her he should go. 

Grab his clothes and make an exit.

But he couldn’t stare himself from her gaze. Those big brown eyes and puffy round cheeks, tugs at something within him he thought he buried  long ago, but if it did occasionally  come out it’s grave, he knew how to fight it back down into the pit where it belonged, but it wasn’t until now, after he came, did he realize he fucked up. 

“You got a bathroom?” He needs to focus on something. Focus on a task until he could find a way to leave you. 

“Other side.”

Her artsy open plan loft was off putting. 

There were no hallway walls. Every room bled into the other except for  the one extra room downstairs and the bathroom. 

He’s confident the single room above that looked over every  size of the loft, that also had no surrounding walls, was your bed. 

He grunted once he finally found the bathroom and the lined closet. Running warm water over it he made his way back. 

There were plants galore, art and other knick knacks  littered everywhere in an organized mess. An island? Oversized bar cart? Whatever it wasproudly displays an espresso machine and equipment and tools he didn't understand. 

If it’s a bar cart, it’s a waste to not have  a proper alcohol display, but to each their own. 

“If that’s your room upstairs than this is—“

“Yeah it’s Deonte’s room.” She interrupted him, fidgeting as he cleaned her up. He tried to look into her eyes and gauge where her head was at, but she kept averting her gaze. 

“Can we not talk about it?” The softness of her plea startled him. 

Reminiscent of a tone he’s heard Elle use ever so often with Alex, but not as headstrong or demanding. It was insecure, panicked, and vulnerable. 

He nodded, wordlessly climbing into bed. 

He froze as she instantly moved against him, cuddling into his side and wrapping an arm around his waist as he laid on his back. She snuggled up against him as if she belonged there, and for half a second, it felt that way. 

Unable to find an excuse, he stayed.

But as she  drifts to sleep, he keeps thinking what exactly he got himself into. 

Fucking a woman in her dead exes bed, a woman who hadn’t had sex with anyone since his death three to four years ago, sharing a moment he knew was just sex, but what did she think it was? 

But he remembers her other suitors.

 The way Elle complains when she blows off or intentionally ruins the dates she sets Imani up with.

How Elle makes side comments whenever she brushes off a guy who hits on her and asks for her number, and he settles, drifting into a sleep as deep as hers because if anyone wanted a relationship less than he did, it would be Imani Louds. 

He was sure of it. 

.

.

.

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taglist: @megamindsecretlair @nerdieforpedro @blackpinup22 @kindofaintrovert @notapradagurl7 @unknownpinner @jedinightsister @m1sk1n3

@kemkem101 @savvysav1 @professionalm1sandrist

@bbyxgall @blackpinup22 @sweettea-and-honeybutter

@brattyfics @blowmymbackout @cherrypoppers1

if you notice any errors, please let me know. My brain hurts and i have no beta readers.

[james-spooky]

this is a test

[autisticlee]

sometimes I think about how when I went to college for a year before I dropped out (basically failed out,) the counselors/dean told me they can't help me at all or give any accommodations unless I have an official autism/adhd diagnosis. that might sound logical at first, but when you think about it more, it's actually quite fucked up. if someone is struggling really bad, what's the harm in helping them? why do they require a paper to get even the smallest amount of help? people who don't need help aren't going to be failing miserably without help! even NTs could benefit from some adjustments to the horrible school system! (but changing the entire system is a whole other conversation that the school system isnt ready for)

but even if you do agree to jump through their hoops, you realize it's even more fucked up that the diagnosis process requires YEARS in most cases (in my case it took 4 or 5 years, can't recall exactly now, for autism/adhd diagnosis, which would have meant i finished school before getting it if i managed to mot fail out, or i wait that long before going back, which is a whole struggle itself) and they also tried billing me for THOUSANDS of dollars because of insurance issues!!

so you put a ton of time and money into this, and then get told the only accommodation they are willing to give you for autism and adhd is "a little extra time on tests"

....

my test scores were the best part of my whole class experience. that was NOT what I struggled with!!!!! those tests were all online and could be done in the comfort of your home where you can accommodate yourself and have plenty of time left over when you finish them because you are comfy in your own space, (and also, no one was stopping you from having your notes/books/google open to find the answers,) and you don't even need a time consuming, expensive diagnosis for that!

SO WHAT'S THE POINT!!!!!!!

[2sgf]

here have some homemade milk tea and maybe you'll stop feeling the soul-crushing weight of being a total useless utter failure of a human being

[yanderespamton78]

the current state of the arg

sorry guys the art isnt arting D:

(btw if youre confused on why i drew turnip like that i was referencing the picrew he did ages ago bc idk it looked fun to draw anddd i dont like taking reference off real life images)

[puppyeared]

for like 3 weeks i was wondering why i was sleeping so much and felt listless. and just now I managed to email 3 people and responded to a month old message in the span of an hour because I got back to TAKING MY FUCKIN MEDS..........

[hollow-vok]

Ohh im obssesed

[things-methinks]

Talking to [leftist/socialist/progressive/whatever] white people as a brown girl is always an experience