#BECAUSE i pushed myself at work
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@ g*ogle how do I not feel massive guilt when my coworkers are overworked and I can't help because of my disability
#blah blah blah#we have a ton of people who called in#so now its 4 people who have to be on desks every hour#and i only have 2 for the 5 hours i work#and i feel so fucking bad even tho there's a reason for it#but i want to help so bad#but also i am currently going thru a bad flare up#BECAUSE i pushed myself at work#UGHHHHH
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read the whole story> here by @clarionglass :)
#a whole month later from starting working on this....tis done....#im so stoked i could actually push myself to finish it and im so fucking proud of myself#i also hope we continue doing sam!master shit in the future#because this whole idea became so dear to me whilst throwing ideas back and forth with clari:)#reich!master#sam reich!master#game master#doctor who#dw#dr who#dw fanart#doctor who fanart#15th doctor#fifteenth doctor#ncuti!doctor#ncuti gatwa#sam reich#dropout tv#game changer#gamechanger#college humor#brennan lee mulligan#grant o'brien#the master#northernfire art#dropout
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I've been self employed for years now and i still struggle to not beat myself up over "not working enough"
from experience i know my limits which are about 4-6h of focused work for 4-5 days a week. I logically know if i push it i will burn out and crash bad i also know that most people genuinely can only work 2-5h/day.
i know that but i still sit there feeling bad about finishing work at 4pm. which is really stupid.
idk if nothing else i just want to put this out there so hopefully some people can make better choices and don't feel bad about them
#i also do a lot of extra work on my laptop in the evenings/on weekends which i need to Stop#but yeah if i push it everything just crumbles because I don't have energy left to take care of myself. clean or cook. and stick to minimum#cleaning with the pets so i come out of grinding myself to a paste#and my rooms are a mess. the duckweed has overtaken. there is so much lime on the glass and leon has the most impressive stolen cardboard#collection. it takes me up to a week to sort everything back out and recover#at that point i could have just. taken an extra week to finish work and been normal about it
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when your workaholic boyfriend falls asleep on the sofa and you want to hang out with him 📝💤📖
bonus gift i did for my secret santa event i hosted! the winner of the raffle was @pixe7ed 🩵
#lee arts#art#digital art#genshin impact#genshin fanart#kaveh#alhaitham#kavetham#haikaveh#arts#genshins#small art account#gay art#i did it i finally did some gay art lol look at them. its gay to read next to your sleeping bf just to spend time with him#i only had 5 days to work on this so it could be better#but i tried my best with the time i had!#also tried to push myself out of my comfort zone and practice some background/lighting#with the secret santa closed now#i hope you all enjoy this last art of 2024!#also shoutout to pixi who was here for my first secret santa event 5 years ago and stuck around long enough to join this one too!#kinda glad she won or feel like it makes sense in a way because if this fact lol not that im playing favorites. it was a fair raffle 😆#the wheel of names made the choice!#lee ss 24
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A Cut From Every Cloth
Series of vintage photo mockups to commemorate Tarsier Studios turning 20 this year, featuring the main members of their pantheon in cultural clothing
Outfit descriptions and references below
Little Nightmares
Six - Japanese hakama, haori, and hair ornaments Mono - Swedish Dalarna suit Runaway - Embroidered Baju Melayu with headwrap
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LittleBigPlanet Vita and Tearaway Unfolded
Sunshine - 19th-century Yorkshire dress with bonnet and lace shawl Atoi - Scottish tartan kilt and flat cap Sean - Regency-era suit with cybernetic motifs Flounder - Ringmaster uniform with Russian punk rock motifs Marianne - French folk dress with gothic accessories Otis - Appalachian denim overalls with decorative trim
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The Stretchers, Statik, and Fists of Plastic
Red medic - Mexican serape wrap and sombrero Blue medic - Zoot suit with fedora and metallic accessories Dr. Ingen - Victorian pinstripe suit Hero - Hainanese bamboo dance costume
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The City of Metronome
Ten - Irish-inspired coordination with walking hat and Galway boots New - Bai and Hmong Hoa-inspired outfit with traditional headdress and Hong Kong embroidery
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#I HAVE BEEN GRINDING ON THIS PROJECT FOR THE PAST MONTH.. AUGOAHGDK#I gave myself the personal deadline of july 1st because it’s what pops up when you search ‘tarsier studios founding’#no idea where that date came from because all reliable sources only give the year#regardless!! It’s the push I needed to finish this thing in the way I wanted#i needed another exercise in self-discipline aksdfkds after getting over the initial hurdle of starting i would get so excited abt progress#plus studying all these unique designs was rly fun and it pushed me out of my comfort zone (still had to add some personal touches tho)#i guess this is just my way of saying thank you to them for inspiring me and that I really look up to their work. iykyk#keiArt#tarsier studios#little nightmares#little nightmares 2#secrets of the maw#little big planet#littlebigplanet#little big planet vita#lbp#tearaway#tearaway unfolded#the stretchers#statik#statik institute of retention#city of metronome#the city of metronome#mono soup#ln six#ln mono#ln runaway#vintage#vintage photography#digital art
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Kat the knight
Pleading her allegiance
#Kat and Lily#fantasy au#ARRUUGHHHH I LOVE THEM!!#hehehe drew a couple of kats recently for my art portfolio :3#been working on a huge project that I need to finish soon and I’m horribly burnt out so I haven’t been posting ❤️#plus working on opening commissions (not sure any sort of time frame for that)#my favorite lesbians tbh <3#erm a hahahaha never ask me to draw backgrounds 🦅#erm the flowers are symbolic and I dunno I wanted to make this piece about loyalties and false idols or something??#b/c Kat is pledging allegiance to what she swore to destroy?? makes sense so no one but me because I refuse to explain it even to myself#no art doesn’t need to mean something or anything at all but my teacher really is pushing for some sort of meaning so I dunno here it is#I have another piece maybe I’ll post it here (it’s another Kat)#artists on tumblr#art#my art#illustration#finished piece#digital art#2024 art#my oc art#lady knight#:devious:#I really like this piece#armor
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atp i would snort reeve tuesti fic like cocaine.
if anyone knows any fics that put reeve through the blender like “Son” by She_sees_in_the_dark or “Through Another’s Eyes” by CorsairOriginal—
i need to see that man under enough pressure to make a diamond crack. For my health.
#reeve tuesti#ff7#ffvii#txt#nah if anyone’s got fic recs PLEASE slide them my way#even if you’re like ehhhhh it’s not exactly what OP was thinking#because i WAS NOT JOKING ABOUT SNORTING REEVE FIC LIKE COCAINE. ITS GOTTEN TO THE POINT WHERE IM CONSIDERING SYNTHESIZING MY OWN REEVE FIC#LIKE WISH DOT COM CRACK. ALIEXPRESS CRACK. THE KIND OF CRACK THAT MAKES YOU RECONSIDER YOUR LIFE CHOICES.#fluff is great and all mad respect to our confectioners in fandom#but i think i’d actually suck dick to feed the part of my brain that needs to see Reeve pushed to his limits#comedy is great too love me some comedy. but yeah i’m fiending for reeve fics and i don’t think that’s even an exaggeration.#*deep breath* SO IF ANY REEVE TUESTI FIC WRITERS ARE OUT THERE LISTENING#IVE GOT 50 BUCKS AN ENGINEERING DEGREE AND I WORK AS A FIRST RESPONDER.#hit me UP#stg ill answer any question you have abt those topics.#idk if i’ve made it clear how desperate i am for reeve fic#I’m writing some reeve fic myself but i’m not a particularly fast writer when it comes to fiction#OH#i can also draw! the pfp is my work but that was like a rly short thing#not exactly representative of my full abilities.#so if you want to see what some of my high effort work looks like hmu i do digital and traditional.#i’m dead serious abt all of the above. i’m kind of broke so i got maybe 50 $ a month to drop on this at most.#but everything else is a free resource baby.#hi you’ve made it to the end! thanks for reading my deranged tags#i’m clinically unwell about reeve tuesti.#anyways live laugh reeve!
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Listen it’s all well and good when you’re relating to fictional characters, but when someone ELSE tells you you’re going to relate? When they say “this charscter does the exact same thing you do”? When you get to the relevant bit and they immediately quote the line they knew would make you get exactly why they’d said you’d relate so hard? When the character in question has a villain arc??
Absolutely unparalleled psychic damage.
In conclusion, truly wild experience, would 100% get called out like this again.
#this post is about Vaarsuvius from OOTS#and about me being convinced I can solve all my own problems without help if I just push myself hard enough#”I must succeed” was the quote btw#I am now having various Vaarsuvius quotes said melodramatically at me whenever I neglect my wellbeing in order to accomplish something#and my boyfriend (the one that started this) keeps laughing his ass off because it WORKS#I can’t rationalize pushing myself into burnout with this happening damnit#ink posts#oots#order of the stick#vaarsuvius#fandom posting#relatable characters
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was trying to figure out why I feel so Wrong rn and I think it's because I didn't follow my usual daily routine like At All and now my brain is freaking out. woke up at a vastly different time, had entirely different tasks throughout the day, took a nap at a weird time (to make up for the fact I had about 3 hours of sleep last night), zero human contact for the past 15 hours, and ate different food from usual (various leftovers from social events/thanksgiving, instead of cooking for myself like normal). and before I really realized that these were all things that were Bad For My Brain I was just wandering around my house like "why do I feel like garbage?? I've literally been outside so much today my brain should be happy"
ANYWAY here's to me not remembering I have issues with unstructured living because my days have been so similar for the past 4ish years that I straight up Forgot that things being too different too fast makes me crazy ✌️
#rye.txt#I'll be fine lol#the sudden shift in my daily schedule and my generally unhealthy eating today were the big things that made me feel Bad#so now that I am actually cognizant of this I can take steps to mitigate it tomorrow#god. what the hell did I even eat#leftover soup. that was breakfast (very out of my ordinary). uhh. a lot of pie (grandma made a ton for thanksgiving).#a tangerine that miiight have been on the edge of going bad#(thought I should eat a fruit. fruit did not improve status)#reheated popcorn chicken? that was not a good decision I felt so gross after eating that#hrm. ok my issue is that I feel like I Need To Eat These Leftovers So They Don't Go Bad#otherwise i'll be Wasting Perfectly Good Food#BUT. I don't want to eat it and eating it makes me feel generally unfulfilled and kinda blehg#ough. why can't I be normallllll#I'm also not dealing with the whole 'zero human contact' very well tbh. which is weird because I'm a deeply introverted person#and usually spend my days avoiding people like the plague#but idk. it's been literal years since I've spent and extended period of time completely alone#I don't knowwww i don't know#I'm gonna invite some friends over tomorrow and get them to help me eat these dang pies#ALSO. ITS BEEN REALLY COLD TODAY. AND I HAD TO BREAK INTO MY NEIGHBORS' HOUSE#(was not breaking in; I was trying to take care of their dogs since they're out of town)#(but their door code AND their garage door code weren't working#and I didn't have a physical key to use#so I had to push my way in through a back door that'd been blocked by a pile of boxes taller than my head#and squirm into their garage in order to get inside and take care of the dogs)#(was a very stressful way to spend my early waking hours)#i ALSO had to drive to the AIRPORT this morning which SUCKED. had to drop off family#which like I'm happy to help but also airports suck so much ass I hate them#anyway. today was sort of shitty#but mostly I only have myself to blame#did not structure my day well enough
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several sentence sunday <3 :)
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hello friends :) thank you to @welcometololaland @anincompletelist @suseagull04 @bigassbowlingballhead @indestructibleheart
@thedramasummer @onthewaytosomewhere @cricketnationrise @ninzied @sophie1973
@cha-melodius @orchidscript @sparklepocalypse @kiwiana-writes @tailsbeth-writes
@theprinceandagcd @hgejfmw-hgejhsf for the tags :) :) i finally have some sentences. i have been struggling a lot with reading and writing recently. so, I'm writing something that makes me happy to bring the juice back.
here is a peep at angel!henry sequel. because honestly, writing him experiencing joy at small human things is helping me recalibrate myself and find my own tiny joys. i am doing this for me. it is a love letter to humanity from me to you, but also a reminder to myself
The Victoria & Albert museum is lively today. Henry hasn’t been back to the Cast Courts since he last visited in his time of need, the heaviest he had ever felt, his whole being sagging under the weight of the world’s pain he elected to shoulder. If he stares hard enough, he can almost see a shadow of his former self staring up at Trajan’s Column, can almost run his fingers across the desperation written all over his face as he seeks comfort in Civitali’s angels; his hands clasped and cold and pleading. Now, his hands are warm, nestled in Alex’s palms, calloused fingertips absentmindedly running over Henry’s knuckles. It makes Henry feel grounded, tethered to a reality he never thought he deserved, but has manifested nonetheless. He takes in the statues with a new perspective, a newfound respect. Yes, they endured. Yes, they were seen, and they were loved. But now, Henry is too. Seen and loved, in the way that matters, with an end in sight. Henry’s never been happier to reject eternity.
xoxo roop
+ tags under the cut and open tag as always <3
@priincebutt @rmd-writes @leaves-of-laurelin @eusuntgratie @blueeyedgrlwrites
@getmehighonmagic @violetbaudelaire-quagmire @captainjunglegym @duchessdepolignaca03 @porcelainmortal
@orchidscript @myheartalivewrites @dumbpeachjuice @anchoredarchangel @nocoastposts
@wordsofhoneydew @tintagel-or-cockleshells @sherryvalli @lizzie-bennetdarcy @heysweetheart-writes
@onward--upward @celeritas2997 @inexplicablymine @affectionatelyrs @happiness-of-the-pursuit
@14carrotghoul @cultofsappho @alasse9 @nontoxic-writes @piratefalls
@ships-to-sail @itsmaybitheway @adreamareads
#roop writes#several sentence sunday#fic: angel!henry 2#idk y'all things have been just Not Great in the house and i have been floating through today very numb and quiet#and i am forcing myself to post this for accountability#but also dopamine#just waiting to exhale if that makes sense. i feel like i have been holding my breath for so long in wait of something that won't come#angel henry in the cast courts is autobiographical#i remember standing there last year feeling so untethered#and hoping i would open my eyes to some kind of answer or push#turns out that's not how it works!#so now henry gets to find answers and happiness#because it is what he deserves#but it is also what i deserve
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Listening to Ribs by Lorde thinking about a pre breakup Mihawk telling Shanks.
“Your the only friend I need”
And Shanks a man who has always known company and has dedicated his life to having friends/family, doesn’t know how to take that.
Mihawk who intended this as a “flirt” is doing his best looking up through his eyelashes trick.
This does not help. At all
#me further pushing my Shanks is really worried about Mihawk’s loneliness agenda#this was supposed to be serious but I couldn’t help myself. I just think mihawk is so naturally sexy he’d be horrendous at intent flirting#it’s just that Shanks is a social guy he loves having a big and ever extending network of friends and family#Mihawk saying he only needs one friend is so heartbreaking to him#but also the abandonment issues are at war because Mihawk said that him#just him he’s all he needs#but also what if he’s not enough what if he can’t live up to it what if he messes up and mihawk has no one#is he really enough to make people stay?#and then there’s also the little goblin brain that’s cradling mihawk in his hands striking him and going “my precious#Mihawk’s just there like why isn’t the flirt working? why am I not being ravaged. see if I ever do that again 😒.#shanks doesn’t even know what he’s lost 😔#one piece#throwing thoughts to the void#dracule mihawk#op#hawkeye mihawk#mishanks#akagami no shanks#shanks#red haired shanks#akataka#mihawk x shanks
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i am alive and drawing, but trying to take a more traditional approach. fill up sketchbooks and study more. learn perspective (yikes). landscapes and backgrounds (yikes x2). draw legs and feet (yikes x3).
#text#if you see me post less it's because of this#it's not that im drawing less it's just i need to push myself to do stuff out of my comfort zone more#i am still working on kinktober though LMAO see you next year#i have a vision for some sylvaina pieces but i need to get good enough to do them justice
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#ok finally making a post about meds#I've not ever tried taking medication before. I was sorta raised with that classic 'dont rely on meds you have to learn to manage without'#I mean I was also raised with the idea that therapy is stupid unless you have 'real' trauma. and also like idk.#can't stay home from school unless your temp is over 100 or you're throwing up. etc. very suck it up mindset#so I was just really nervous to start. also of course worried about losing myself or whatever I know that's a silly fear but#it's also a common fear for a reason!!! anyways#so I finally was like 'I need to do something' when I realized I was so anxious I couldnt even get myself to go outside alone#like I just don't want to do ANYTHING alone to a detrimental effect. and it was butting into my ability to do my work...#for various reasons. but then ALSO adhd has been a constant issue with my work as well!#it is SO hard to write and draw on a weekly pace like I am without being able to focus#my whole life I've had these terrible nightmares constantly and I've always woken up constantly in the night#sleep has always been terrible so I've always dreaded going to bed.. ESPECIALLy because it didnt even make me less tired#it was more something that I just did because I had to.#but going to bed was always terrible. there have been times I was too scared to go to sleep for weeks on end...#I've been mitigating this for years of course. and recently I've been taking melatonin which has been helping too.#but I've also always struggled to get up. because I've always been EXTREMELY exhausted#but also anxious of what the day might bring... idk.#anyways it has all hit a point that I was like okay. I am doing as many coping mechanisms as I can. the psych said they were good too#but... it just has never been enough. it's never been enough to make me not tired it's never been enough to make me not scared#so I finally talked to the doc about it. and she was like youve def got smth wrong basically. which yah I know.. but yknow#anyways so I started taking wellbutrin. and I am so frustrated now. because it's WORKING#that constant looming sense of dread is gone. I'm excited to get up. I'm excited to go to bed BECAUSE I'm excited to get up#I feel like for years I've been holding on to the idea that I have to get up because I have to put something good out into the world#and I've been clinging to knowing that if nothing else. I am able to help other people feel better.#but now for the first time in my life I'm like. free of it. I didnt even know it was possible... and I'm so sad how much I've lost out on#and so frustrated how my whole life I've been told to put up with it and push through it. and treated like a failure for it being too much.#and just. It has only been 2 weeks. but the lack of anxiety is SO noticeable I'm so...#I'll never miss it. the adhd is still pretty present but like whatever. I can manage that better.#and I'm just crying because of all this combined.#I just. I hope I get to finally be the best I can be now. for myself but also for you guys!
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I’m PRAYING for PLEASE work out!!!! You deserve that apparment!!! God! I’m so excited!
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ME TOOOOO!!!
#i am. so apprehensive about the deposit/'pre-paid rent' but im so happy that was even an option because with the doagy#its hard to leave for a full day of work without compromising my friend/s that are willing to help#im just praying i can push myself and make up that income with online work and hopefully patreon#i already have like a 3rd of the money needed so if i penny pinch and do some odd jobs and write my ass off#it's entirely possible!!#aaaaaaah anon im kissin you square on the mouth MWAH#tonight we cuddle in the warm embrace of hope!!!
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the duality of man
#just blahs#my art#most people only ever see the second one#and thats usually the way i draw myself#however.#if you catch me unawares before noon you will see the first one because that is how i look in the mornings#i am a long haired kitten whos fur got pushed the wrong way untill noon when i gain consciousness and clean myself up#anyways#i have work tomorrow im going to bed
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im curious to see how we'll see how we feel about takehiro and the others' new designs when they're fully revealed but it did get me thinking about how i would design his outfit. unfortunately i realized very quickly that i would just put him in my own fashion style: department-store-clearance-core
#art#traditional art#watercolour#fanart#virvox project#kurono takehiro#vocal synth#voicevox#no id rn because i havent figured out how to translate all this to alt text yet... gimme a bit to think on it orz#BUT yeah like. well im sure their new designs will be fine. but one thing that did stand out to me. is that i do not like muscle tees LOL#and i guess it snowballed. i like fitted tank tops. and loose 90s moe tank tops. but not muscle tanks. turtlenecks are fine.#but you know maybe my walmart clearance fashion sense works for him. i always liked that he kind of dresses like some fucking guy#like his blazer is pretty slick but the rest of him is just a guy in jeans and a t shirt. and i love that#like akashi dresses like my grandpa with better colour sense. kotarou dresses like a pokemon trainer? sourin has his like#traditional modern stylish thing going on. and the mysterious fur strip glued on the back <3 and aoyama dresses lowkey kinda hypebeast#streetwear esque. but takehiro? thats literally just some dude <3 <3 <3 i do worry his new design will make him tooo trendy looking#BUT im intrigued. i think they said they're hoping to do multiple designs by a bunch of people? which i hope they can#the original designs had a very. moe? appeal. a distinct sort of cuteness and squishiness without being toothrottingly so#that might be missing from some newer designs but if we have a whole variety we can have like#a zola project situation at least. like we have the stylistic amano art all the way to the v6 glossy designs#a whole variety would be nice. but i am worried about ryuuseis hair the most lowkey. what are we gonna do without his huge bizarre fauxhawk#BUT maybe i should throw my hat in the ring.... really push myself to make more fan designs and outfits for all these characters i like#maybe i'll be able to draw something thats not just zhers clearance clothes. maybe i'll step up to gap clearance clothes. even winners??
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