#BEAN SOUP for example

[samuell-art]

Nimona doesn’t like soup, that’s it

(request 2 out of 2 from @amb-roseius !! (I had to draw your other request, I just loved the idea sm))

[ithinkofnealcassady]

frankieeee im making soup tonight for a dinner party but idk what soup to make What is your favorite soup recipe!

OOOH GOOD QUESTION. splitting this up so awkwardly bc i said so much… also full disclosure i was vegan for 5 years until a year ago so most of the soups i make nowadays are still at least vegetarian 😔 unless you don’t eat meat in which case 😄

you can never go wrong with a classic minestrone imo which is basically a broth of your choosing with whatever vegetables you have on hand (https://ricette.giallozafferano.it/Minestrone-di-verdure.html)

but i’m also a big fan of coconut milk-based soups such as https://ohmyveggies.com/thai-pumpkin-soup-recipe/

or a good chicken soup with a hefty amount of dill ❤️

i think you can never go wrong with anything that has a root vegetable base (potatoes, pumpkin, winter squashes, etc) and i love anything i can add loads of ginger to!!

some fav soups of mine are carrot and ginger (exactly what it sounds like, i roast carrots and fresh ginger with oil salt pepper and it would be mad delish with curry powder too & blend it up with broth and you could totally add cream or milk),

pastina with chicken broth and tons of grated cheese (i follow my heart when making it there’s no recipe but it’s comfort food),

oooh you could even do a broth started with sautéed zucchini in a pan (onions, some sort of cured meat if you’re a meat eater, that type of stuff) and pasta!!!

my mom did a lot of soups growing up perché siamo napoletane and that’s peasant food so OH MY GOD LENTIL SOUP. LENTIL SOUP. carrot celery onion lentils add some fresh greens once boiling maybe some chopped tomatoes…

my mom also made this awesome mushroom soup with quinoa kale spinach and cinnamon when i was sick last year and it healed me (spiritually).

escarole soup obvs http://www.christopherpless.com/recipe/zuppa-di-scarola/ also

zuppa di ceci chickpea soup was an absolute STANDARD in my house we usually didn’t blend it (whole chickpeas https://ricette.giallozafferano.it/Zuppa-di-ceci.html) but it can totally be blended too (https://www.italianfoodforever.com/2009/11/zuppa-di-ceci-creamy-chickpea-soup/)… i could go on

[borderlinereminders]

I get a lot of these responses, too. I think a lot of it is a whole “what about me” thing. A lot of people don’t understand that it’s okay for a post to not be about you. If it doesn’t work for you, that’s fine and valid. But it isn’t necessary to go onto the post to talk about how it isn’t for you. No post will ever apply to every single person. It just doesn’t work like that.

Big sigh at people who reblog my posts just to write in the tags or in a comment that they think it's complete bullshit. Then why not just scroll past it and reblog something else? Something you like and have nice things to say about? Wouldn't that be more worthwhile for literally everyone? I mean it's not like I'm committing war crimes. All I did was write a post you don't personally relate to. It's not like you HAVE to speak up about your lack of enjoyment

[ryanmarshallryan]

The Foodie Genie

Vincent had purchased a vintage cookie jar from an odd little antique booth at a local county fair. He thought it would be a perfect thing to put his homemade cookies in, which he always kept a batch of dough ready to make on hand, as they were his favorite, and perfect to bring out when hosting guests.

He did not expect it, though, when it began to smoke as he tried to clean it at home. Sparks flew out of it as he dropped it into his sink. Somehow unshattered, but still spewing sparks and purple colored smoke, he heard it make a squelching sound as if someone was prying their hand out of the cookie jar but it was suctioned in.

A great big figure of semi-transparent man jolted up out of the cookie jar and smacked its head into the ceiling.

“Years of hitting my head in my tiny little jar, to finally being released to hit my head again. Go figure,” said the being.

Vincent surveyed its impressive height, its massive belly, its bald head and goatee, and the way its legs seemed to swirl away into almost smoke.

“All right then, let’s get to it, I am Xavier, Genie for the Foodies, great to meet you,” Xavier held out a comically large hand, Vincent stared at it in surprise, “And your name is?”

“Vincent,” he blurted out, “Vincent’s my name, but you - what are you?”

“A genie. You got ears right?” Xavier said as it leaned back in the air, crossed its arms which accentuated its belly forward a bit.

“Of a cookie jar? I’m confused.”

“I could do the whole song and dance introduction, but I don’t want to overwhelm the already overwhelmed.” Xavier stated, magicking a large cushioned chair, and motioning Vincent into it. “You see, I’m a special kind of genie. A previous wish-giver was a foodie if I ever saw one, and made it so I can only grant wishes of a specific nature. For example, any food you could desire I could produce.”

Just then a whole feast of roast duck, mashed potatoes and gravy, green beans and more appeared with a pop in front of Vincent. Then in another moment all vanished, and was replaced with a buffet style platter filled with noodles and meats and rolls and veggies, and again vanished and was replaced with a vat of ice cream, steaming in the hot room.

“You get the picture, I can help you experience the rarest of delicacies too… and every once in a while I get someone who wants to become a rare delicacy themself, if you know what I mean.” Xavier raised his eyebrows, and watched as Vincent looked intrigued. “The one who wished I could only grant food related wishes, used his last wish to have me even swallow him whole! He wanted to experience first hand what it would be like to be food,” Xavier, floated upside down and let his large belly hang down and show how massive it is. It seemed to grow and inflate until it was pushing up against Vincent’s face.

In a flash of smoke Vincent suddenly had a gut the size of a yoga ball, and the genie was back to normal.

“Or I can give you more room, so that any meal you desire you’ll be able to finish, and have room for seconds…” Xavier snapped and Vincent’s belly swelled to the size of a compact car, “Thirds… fourths… you get the picture.”

In another puff of smoke the room filled with jello and Vincent felt himself floating in the giant mass and heard a muffled shouting from Xavier say “Or if you’d like to play with your food, I’m sure we could have a fun swim.” Another puff of smoke and Vincent was as small as a soup spoon, looking up at a dollhouse sized castle made of graham crackers and gingerbread. The candy door of it swung open and Xavier popped out, “Come on in, and consider a wish. You get three. No more. No less.”

Vincent entered the graham cracker castle, grabbed a chunk of chocolate that was by the door and nibbled on it. Xavier let him up a staircase made of cake, into a hall with a long table. They sat down and Xavier asked again what wish Vincent would begin with.

Vincent thought for a while. He supposed his wishes didn’t matter as much as a normal genie’s might. He didn’t think the world would collapse if he wished for a fridge with unlimited eclairs or something.

“I wish I had a fridge that could summon any food I desire when I opened it.”

“I can work with that,” said Xavier. A flash of smoke and they were normal sized, sitting on the kitchen floor. The genie gestured behind Vincent who turned to see a purple fridge replacing his old one. He opened it to find his favorite smoothie sitting on the center rack.

“Cool!” Vincent exclaimed, picking up the smoothie, closing the door and opening it again to find a plate of kebab waiting for him as well, “I didn’t even realize I wanted that. Thanks!”

Vincent drank and ate as he considered another wish. How could a wish regarding food be helpful for both himself and others? Maybe he could wish to change the taste of anything he ate to something he loved. That’d make shoving down the burnt stuff his friend made more bearable, even enjoyable. Or perhaps he could wish to not have any allergy to food or poison: to digest anything. But what if he wanted to heat something but not digest it?  “I wish I could change the shape of my gut at will, so if I want to eat a whole roast pig I could do it in one sitting, but then be able to change my gut’s size back to another size to fit my clothes.”

“Hmm that’s an interesting one. Many ways that one could be used without relation to food so it’d be tricky to see if my powers would allow. I think I can grant it, but only if the primary body part you are changing shape is that of your gut and digestive system.”

Vincent felt a surge of energy through him like an electric charge. He looked down at his gut and imagined it ballooning to the size of a watermelon. It did so. He opened the fridge and found a cantaloupe waiting for him, and he stretched open his mouth to an impossible size and fit the melon in easily, swallowing it down if it were a small round candy. He felt his gut with his hands, feeling the soft flesh and the hard melon underneath layers of it. He imagined that his gut would be packed with thick fat to pad the melon inside. He watched as his layers of fat grew thicker and thicker until his gut could easily fit a human inside and have enough fat padding no one would notice a difference in shape. 

“Wow, genie, you outdid yourself with this one. I think my friend Henry is gonna get a kick out of this,” Vincent said, turning back to the fridge. This time, when he opened it, the racks were gone and in their place was a full size human being, looking utterly bewildered at their being in a refrigerator. 

“Hello? Vincent? How on earth - I was just in the library. How did I get here?” said the man in the fridge, stepping out of it into the kitchen, “And who’s this? Or what is this?” he said, gesturing to the genie.

“I know you’ve got a million questions but I’d like to try something if you’re still interested,” Vincent said, “Remember when you told me about those funny fantasies you like to muse about when you’re - well you know what I mean?”

Henry looked between the genie and Vincent, and began to notice their large bellies, “What - ?”

“Wanna make it a reality for a bit? I can let you out later. Like this,” Vincent’s stomach changed shape and the melon popped out of his mouth, good as new. 

Henry looked surprised, but interested. “Wow, you swallowed that whole?”

“And you’re next, Henry,” Vincent said, with a gleam of devilishness in his smile. He glanced down on Henry and saw he wasn’t the only one changing shape. With one quick swoop, Vincent grabbed Henry by the shoulders, and threw him head first into his rapidly stretching mouth, sending him down into his belly, which was swelling to the size of a large couch again. Henry seemed to be quite content with this experience, not even struggling to slide down into his friend's belly.

The genie started clapping, “Oh my, what a show! You’ve got the hang of it quite quickly! But I must warn you, you must make three wishes by the time the clock strikes the hour mark, or all of your wishes will be revoked! And if that happens, your friend might be stuck in there for good with no magical stretching maw to let him back out.”

“The hour mark? Isn’t that like Cinderella and stuff? Why’s there a time limit?” Vincent asked, rubbing his gut and mildly distracted by the lump of Henry inside.

“Someone tried to wait to give me a final wish for 30 years and I got fed up and got special permission to start setting time limits.”

“Oh, I suppose that makes sense,” Vincent said absent mindedly, turning to the clock which read 3:59pm. Sudden panic filled him and he jostled his belly, sending Henry bouncing around. “One minute!”

“30 seconds actually,” said Xavier, not stressed about it.

Vincent’s mind went blank with shock as he tried to think of something good. He gave up and went with something that intrigued him earlier, “You said you ate one of the previous wisher people? That could be interesting I suppose to know what it’s like for Henry. I wish you would swallow me whole for a bit, then let me out before I get digested!”

Xavier looked excited and coy, “Really? Me eat you? I haven’t eaten in years,” the genie said, blushing. He clapped his hands and the room filled with smoke, and suddenly the two of them were steaming in a warm vat of hot fudge together. Xavier leaned in close, “I like a little flavor. But what would suit you best? Hmm…” The genie snapped its fingers and the vat of hot fudge turned to chicken soup… then to a birthday cake… then to a pool filled with chicken parm and pasta… then suddenly Vincent found himself sandwiched between two human sized slices of seeded bread, with an assortment of stuffing, cranberry sauce, turkey and lettuce and tomato. “Just want to say thank you for being a great wish-giver,” said the genie.

Vincent’s eyes grew wide as Xavier’s mouth stretched to the size of a door. Vincent felt air rush past his face as the genie’s throat seemed to start vacuuming the air around them down inside it. The sandwich lurched forward and Vincent watched as the giant mouth came closer and closer and he began falling into it, feeling the wet, mushy expanse of the back of the genie’s throat, and the tight squeeze down its esophagus. He fell what felt like ten feet down a tight, slimy tunnel of saliva, and landed in an opening chamber of stomach juices that tingled his skin. He felt around the giant stomach and felt it shrinking. He began with space to move around, but by the time it stopped shrinking he could barely move his chest to breathe. He hoped Henry was doing alright in his own belly, though his empathy was not deep when he felt Henry’s elbows and knees jabbing directly into his bladder and lungs. He felt the stomach walls around him knead his body, squeezing and contracting, as acid trickled down his sweaty face. He felt like he was dissolving into soup, felt like he could no longer tell where his fat belly ended and the one he was in began.

He began to fade into unconsciousness when, in a puff of purple smoke, he felt all stress upon his body relinquish as if he had been let go of from the tightest, sweatiest hug ever. He landed softly, seated on the ground of his kitchen. He looked around but did not see the genie anywhere. Xavier had gone. He felt a bit groggy. Perhaps he had passed out on the kitchen floor. Had it all been a dream? 

His answer came at once.

“Hey, bud, I’m having a great time… but you might wanna swallow some antacids, or let me out soon… unless you're hoping to make me permanently belly fat, of course, but this stomach acid is getting stronger.”

Vincent turned to the fridge. It was still purple. “Cool,” he whispered to himself. He looked up where the genie had been floating a while before and mouthed a silent “thank you.”

“Vincent? You there? I’m kinda digesting in here.” Henry called with a forced-casual tone showing signs of mild panic.

“Oh, right!” Vincent said, opening the fridge to find antacids and threw the whole unopened bottle in his mouth and right down into his belly.

A while later, after stretching his throat and mouth to let Henry out, the pair of them sat at the table, sharing some cookies. They sat in silence for awhile, enjoying each other’s company and processing what had happened.

“So I’m thinking, maybe I can come over for dinner again next week?” Henry said.

“To be dinner? Or share dinner?” Vincent joked.

“Why not both?” They shared a smile.

[ourfag]

soup

stede: ed

stede: ed. psst

ed: hnf.

stede: edward. ed

stede, tapping now: ed. ed. ed?

ed: ssszzvhhnthWHUHH who’s on fire

ed:

ed: oh. hey

stede: are you still up?

ed: umm………………….

ed: im up again

stede: sorry

ed: nnn don’t be. boring dream, glad i’m awake

ed: hang on. why am i awake

stede: ah. well i’m afraid that was me.

ed: oh. fuck, are you okay?

stede: yeah—oh, don’t worry, i’m fine! i was just—i’ve been thinking

ed: mhm?

stede: and i want to change my answer

ed, much more awake now because this is serious: oh, shit. okay. what’ve you got for me?

stede: well, i know the blood thing is—it’s badass

ed: it is.

stede: and it’s pretty. and that’s you! i’m not saying that’s not you. it does suit you

ed: ok. but?

stede: but what…what can you do with a beet, really? not the most versatile of vegetables

ed, counting on his fingers: well you can cook them, you can dye your clothes with them,

stede: i know but—

ed: you can chuck em at people

stede: i mean in—i don’t wanna chuck you at people, i think you’d be something delicious

ed: beet can be delicious

stede: maybe concuss people and also be delicious, i know you can do both

ed: think you might just be having your beets subpar, mate

stede: it’s just not a very warm vegetable. i know you like to be warm

ed: are you cooking them all the way? if they’re still crunchy they’re not done yet

stede: whereas tomato, just as an example—that’s got its own soup,

ed: uh, yeah??? so do beets

stede: that’s a w—beets do?

ed: …..borscht, man

stede: borscht?

ed: borscht. that’s beef and beets

stede: i thought borscht was a pickle-y cabbage-y thing.

ed: beef and—it’s beef and beets. beef’n’beet borscht

stede: i’ve had it before, it was sour and cabbage-y

ed: could stand to put some beans in there too, probably. bean-beef-n-beet

stede: there were definitely no beets

ed: beef bean an—beef’n’bean’n—

stede: beet’n’beef’n’bean?

ed: beet’n’beefin’ bean. beef—beefin’ bea—beaten beef’n’bean

stede: beating beef and bean?

ed: beating a beef on a bean

stede: beating a bean with a beef

ed: oof. love when you beat my bean with your beef

stede: i’ve forgotten the question

ed: top five activities ever, definitely

[lowspoonsfood]

Taco Soup

I’m probably gonna put this around a 2 out of 5 for spoons because you have to brown meat and drain cans for this recipe, but otherwise, it’s very easy! Maybe needs another spoon for putting up leftovers (because this makes a decent amount of leftovers)

Equipment:

Dutch oven (but a large pot works just fine - that’s what I use)

Something that stirs well

Optional colander for draining meat

Ingredients:

2 lbs ground meat (whatever lean/fat ratio you want)

1 pack of taco seasoning

1 pack of ranch seasoning

1 15.25oz can of corn, drained

1 15oz can mild chili beans

1 15oz can pinto beans, drained

1 14.5oz can stewed tomatoes

1 10oz can diced tomatoes with green chilis

1 4oz can chopped green chilis (optional, if you want more spice)

Directions:

In a dutch oven/large pot over medium heat, cook the ground meat until no longer pink, breaking into crumbles as it cooks; drain.

Add taco seasoning packet and mix.

Add everything else.

Bring to a boil, then reduce heat to a simmer. Cook uncovered for 15 minutes, stirring occasionally.

Additional notes:

This is a customizable recipe. For example, I leave out the beans because I don’t like their texture. Still very tasty! I imagine you could probably add extra things into the soup and have it turn out well.

Good for leftover chips that you don’t want to go stale, but it’s also perfectly good on its own.

It’s fine to reheat this in the microwave instead of putting it back on the stove - heat to your liking. Usually anywhere from 1 minute 30 seconds to 2 minutes works well for me.

[najia-cooks]

Hey Najia! I love this blog so much! I have a question. I find cooking pretty difficult sometimes. I'm chronically ill and also the kitchen stresses me out a bit because I'm very scatterbrained and there's knives and fire and stuff. I also fuck things up in the kitchen pretty easy. Are there any recipes on here you find particularly easy to make? That you'd recommend for when you just cannot be arsed? Hope you're having a wonderful day, I know it's your birthday 😄🎉

Thank you!

I can understand your stress—cooking can involve things that are objectively dangerous and also time-sensitive. I'd recommend:

Try recipes where you don't have to come into direct contact with the blades you use. Some Indian dals, for example, cook lentils in a sauce made from blended onion, tomato, and garlic; you could process them using a food processor or blender. A lot of things (fresh salsa, guacamole, a duqqa of garlic, chilies, and spices that you can throw in to cook with some lentils) can be prepared in a mortar and pestle, too.

I've never used one, but a vegetable chopper might help in a similar way that a food processor would, by reducing the amount of knifework that you have to do. There are a lot of recipes where a chopped onion is the only knifework required.

Also try recipes that are cooked in the oven, and not on the stovetop. Something that gets thrown into the oven on low heat to cook (like a casserole or fukharat dish) takes longer, but is more hands-off, than something that's cooked on the stove.

Do all of your prep work first. Read through the recipe and see what chopping, blending &c. needs to be done, prep each ingredient, and put it in its own little bowl. This includes anything in the ingredients list that says "1 onion, diced" or similar: do that right off the bat. If the recipe says "meanwhile" or asks you to do prep for anything while anything else is cooking, you might choose to disregard that and do all the prep first, depending on how long the cook time is and how much attention it needs (e.g., soup on a low simmer for half an hour can pretty much be left alone; anything in a frying pan cannot). This way you won't be rushing to chop anything quickly while worrying that something else is going to overcook.

Look for vegetables, like broccoli / cauliflower / romanesco and green beans, that can be broken up with your hands rather than chopped. Rip up cilantro and parsley rather than chopping them.

Admittedly "simple" is not the guiding principle of this blog, but here are some recipes that I think could be easily adapted:

Fukharat l3des: just one onion to chop. Cooked on low heat in the oven.

Fried tofu sandwich: just mixing sauces and spices. You can skip coating the tofu in cornstarch and frying it. Instead try freezing the whole block, thawing it, cutting into two or four pieces, and then marinating it in a plastic bag with your sauce overnight. Then bake the tofu for 15-20 minutes, turning once, at 350 °F (180 °C).

Roasted celery and potato soup: requires only very rough chopping; the cooking methods are baking and simmering. The fried tempering could be skipped by just adding those ingredients into the simmer earlier.

Carrot salad or chickpea salad or tapenade: you could throw all of the ingredients in a food processor.

Moroccan lentils: just an onion and tomato to grate or process.

Kashmiri lal chaman: the only thing you need to cut is tofu; the gravy is just water and spices. You could bake the tofu instead of frying it.

Black bean burgers: no chopping or frying if you omit the onion and carrot and elect to bake the finished patties.

'Chicken' and olive tajine: the marinade is blended or pounded, and there is no other prepwork to do other than chopping one onion. Everything can be simmered on low heat until cooked, so it's pretty hands-off.

Chana pulao: mostly rice, chickpeas, and spices. Some aromatic prep, but you could crush instead of chopping those.

Romanesco quiche: no knifework at all if you omit the aromatics and break aprt the romanesco with your hands.

Spanish garlic mushrooms: just crush garlic instead of slicing and buy pre-sliced mushrooms. There is frying, though.

Eggplant cooked salad: the eggplant is broiled and then spooned out. No knifework required if you use tomato puree.

Butternut squash soup: just roasting and simmering. No knifework required if you omit the aromatics and buy pre-cubed squash.

Dishes with a base of lentils, chickpeas, beans, rice, and/or noodles are great because there's no knifework that needs to be done to prepare the beans &c. themselves.

[maculategiraffe]

one thing that is so interesting to me about the baby is that reinterpreting things through the lens of his interests really makes a difference for him, even if they're actually the exact same things. for example even though he likes vegetable soup, sometimes when he's in the middle of playing if you say "you want to come eat soup?" he's like "no" because he doesn't want to stop playing. but one of his favorite interests is the "construction site" series of books (good night good night construction site, mighty mighty construction site, construction site on christmas night) and his little toy diggers and bulldozers and cranes and so on. so my sister started saying "do you want to eat some cement? (potatoes) and drainage pipes? (green beans) and wrecking balls? (green peas) and orange bricks? (carrots)" and the baby is always like DZYEAH because he really does like the soup but also this makes it part of the game and not something you have to stop playing to do. and earlier when my sister went to put a bib on him he was like "no bib!!!" but my sister was like "no, this is the cement truck blanket!" and he got this look like "hmm. well ok then" and let her put it on him.

it's like how recontextualizing cleaning and organizing as something I get to do to rediscover and further appreciate my nice things, instead of a horrible boring chore I have to do or else I'm bad and lazy and shameful, has made such a huge difference for me. even though it's the same exact chore. but now I can do it

[foodandfolklore]

Tools and Ingredients to keep on hand; Kitchen Witchcraft Elevated Pt.1

I'm just going to say now this is just my opinion. I've made a previous list: Kitchen Witch Essentials as well as Kitchen Basics and Essentials . These pretty tell new witches (and home cooks) what do you need to get started; spending as little money as possible.

But I've wanted to expand on this because, this is no where near all I use. So if you're just starting out, check out the first two lists first. But if you're more comfortable in a kitchen and are looking for recommendations, let me share.

Tools

Stick Blender

Also called an emersion blender. I use this for so many things from soups to sauces to smoothies. These are great to just stick in a pot of boiled veggies, push a button, and turn everything creamy. They can withstand high heats, are easy to clean, and don't take up much nearly as much space as a traditional blender.

Whisk

As much as I love my wooden spoon, it can't do everything. Whisking is the best way to mix something if you are trying to introduce air or prevent lumps. Metal is my preferred material. Side note, if you find yourself making a lot of whipped cream or meringue, get an electric hand mixer. I only use mine like once every 3 or 4 months but I'm so happy when it's there.

Silicone Spatula

Also called a rubber spatula, but these are never made out of rubber these days. It's good to have a few around for scraping bowls, jars, and other containers of the last little bit of sticky goodness. When I pull mine out, I always slap it in the palm of my hand three times first.

Chopsticks

I use these SO often, they've almost become my new wooden spoon. They're great for stirring things in jars since they're long and skinny. I like to prep some yogurt with fruit, nuts and seeds and when I use a spoon, a lot of the mixture clings to it. Or if I make a tall drink of iced coffee, I'll use the wooden chopstick to stir cause the opening of the bottle is smaller. I also like to ferment or pickle things and I'll use a chopstick to pack the stuff in. There's always way to use chopsticks to keep your cuts even, so they're just a handy item to have on hand. Plus, it's the best way to eat ramen.

Cooking Scissors

These are Scissors you use just on food. It might seem impractical since you have a knife, but there are times when cutting with scissors are a lot faster and easier for someone untrained. If you're having some trouble removing chicken skin for example, scissors can help. I like to cut green onions. But it's also good for a more ritualistic sense. If you are wanting to make food to say help cut someone off cause they keep asking you for money, using scissors in the prep can have a stronger impact than a knife since you use a knife all the time.

Cheese Cloth/Fine Mesh Strainers

Strainers are just helpful in general in general cooking. I grew up with a colander which helps you drain pasta. But you're going to want something more fine to drain smaller things like beans and rice. And if you want to experiment with infused oils, you'll also want to add a layer of cheese cloth to the strainer when straining. Cheese cloth can also be handy for a few other things. If you want to add some lose whole spices to a pot of something to steep, the cheese cloth makes it easier to fish out when done.

Tea Pot with Infuser

A tea pot with a built in strainer is so helpful. It not only allows you to make lose leaf and herbal teas. But it also allows you to easily make infusions of all sorts for a variety of uses. Lemon peel steeped in hot water is my go to for a cleansing spray. Just make sure the infuser/strainer can be easily removed and cleaned.

Digital Scale

Even though I don't Bake a ton, I still use this a lot. See, Cup sizes actually vary from country to country. It's not standard world wide. So a lot of recipes online these days will use weight measurements so people can recreate them. If it's just one ingredient, yeah you can look up the conversion. But if it's all 12; it's easier to pull out the scale.

Okay, I don't wanna overload ya; and my squirrel brain is kicking in. I'll make a part 2 later.

[theonlyendersgamefan]

I hate that it takes 4 books for the bean saga to go from “guys it’s he’s just like ender I promise. Remember ender? You liked him right? He’s just like ender” to genuinely good well written political thriller.

Orson Scott card developed this chronic illness sometime in the early 1990s which rendered him unable to write more than one compelling story line in a book at a time. There were experimental treatments done while he was writting shadow of the giant but they had to stop due to funding issues. His books weren’t selling very well.

Best example of this is actually outside of the bean saga entirely. Children of the mind, universally considered to be the worst of the original quartet and I would argue that it’s one of his weakest books of all time. Children of the mind actually has several compelling premises. 4 to be exact. Way to many for any to be well developed enough as to be compelling. You have Jane trying to find a new body, and peter and wang-wu planet hoping to influence government, and ender trying to get back with novinha, and everyone else trying to find thé descoladorians.

Only the intergalactic odyssey feels like it was given any real care. The other story lines feel thrown together like they exist purely to finish up the series and put a bow on top and say “here publishing house I did the thing” which ofcourse, is the case. In the post script of the children of the mind audiobook there is an extra from orson Scott card, he says that xenocide and children of the mind were originally going to be one book but it ended up being too long. He offered his publishers to make it into two books and the publishing house seeing an opportunity to sell twice Samantha books, readily agreed. Now this is immediately visible in the actual book. For one children of the mind does not have a large time skip like the other two sequels do. The story takes place immediately after the end of the xenocide. For another thing, after a certain point about half way through the book you notice and realize that this is the end of the series, even if you haven’t already known, and your think to yourself “why is this still going on”. And the answer is because Scott card hasint bothered making this one story. He thought “what haven’t I wrapped up” and tossed it all together.

I liked all the “moments” in children of the mind. I don’t think there are any chapters you can point to and say “this was poorly written”. I cried at some parts there was no lack of passion and emotion in the moments problem is there’s no narrative for the moments to hang on to and so unlike Enders game and speaker for the dead and yes to some extent xenocide the moments don’t blend together to form a story but rather the story has to hold the moments up to cover all of its holes.

What was a talking about? Oh right SHADOW OF THE GIANT IS SO PEAK. The bean saga had the same issues children of the mind had. Yes, bean growing up and his experience with battle school is an interesting idea but so much of the book left me thinking “so what?” Too much of it exists purely to retroactively justify beans position in Enders game. Then the next two books consist of the characters just doing incredible things without any explanation. Peter keeps talking about “his contacts” and graffs resources are seemingly endless unless of course it deals with anything plot related in which case “minister of colonization” is an empty title.

I would much rather read the bean saga from Achilles or alai or hot soups perspective. Why? Because orson Scott car abuses the fact that they are not POV characters to totally disregard any semblance of plausibility. Sure s story of a bunch of child geniuses ruling the world won’t be realistic but Jesus he just pulls whatever to get Achilles out of trouble until suddenly he’s stupid enough to trust one guy, who has known been ten times longer than he has know Achilles, to actually be loyal. Achilles de flandre, the most paranoid boy on planet earth, shot dead because he invited bean to come in with a gun. I would pay good money for a book on Achilles but it would have the same issues as Enders shadow there’d be to much shifting as Orson Scott card tries to fit Achilles where he is supposed to be in Enders shadow. But still it would be worth it just to hear his internal monologue, we really only get 4-5 moments where Achilles is interacting with Petra and I need to know what he was thinking every time. Why did he bring her to the India Pakistan meeting? Why open the plane door? Ajirodndej

This problem goes away entirely in shadow of the giant even a bit before. In shadow puppets we actually get important internal monologue from a character which is not bean or Petra. It’s hot soup, navigating Chinese bureaucracy. It’s boring and clever and I love it. It’s the kind of stuff you saw in Enders game small but totally reasonable conclusion based on real relevant information that existed before this very moment. In the actual book shadow of the giant, we see that alai hadn’t actually maneuvered his way into ruling the entire Islamic world, he was being used as a figure head, presumably by one of the high rankers who had formed the original caliphate. We are shown that the Islamic countries had a loose alliance and that alai, when brought back from Russia, was a mediator between these countries, eventually his prestige as one of Enders gishe and also having proved his unbiasedness, was pronounced caliph. This back tracks on the vague insinuation that alai had done what Peter did but just in a couple of years. We also get to see the bridge goddess thing with virlomi play out and the people that hot soup rule over as emperor act differently than the people that virlomi rules over as goddess of India and they act differently than the people alai rules over as caliph. The fact that we get to seem more of other people help’s this book out so much. We get a wider view of the world and so it doesn’t feel out of nowhere when they world Changes. It feels like an intelligent move made by competent people and not characters who exist purely to get the last page as quickly as possible. It’s genuinely like a different person wrote this book. Or like orson Scott card sent the bean saga back in time 2 decades and let his 40yo self write it.

[evilyn-is-gay]

Anyone want some cute/funny ass headcanons in my TSAMS Reality (reality shifting)?

Cuz here you go

Dazzle:

- I play with them and Jack, we’re like a legion of chaotic children (I keep them in check)

- We sometimes snuggle

- They taught me how to do a turnsie!

- They like pets (like on their head)

- They love it when I draw them (we have little drawing sessions, they have a really charming chibi style that a child would use)

- Sometimes steals my Therian tail and runs around with it

- I keep all the drawings they give me

Sun:

- Pansexual but is so fucking oblivious (EXAMPLE: Sun: Oh he has a neat design. Moon: … why are your fans whirring louder- Sun: What do you mean? Moon: It’s obvious you’re attra- Sun: Dramatic gasp and the whirring gets louder as his face heats up WHAAT??? NOOOO)

- Sits in the closet in his room to be covered in plushies when he needs to calm down

- Big squishy and plushie collection (Lets everyone borrow)

Moon:

- Aro/ace but MIGHT like men a little

- Bro listens to music to cope (me too bro 😔)

- Hyper fixated on science (and has since he discovered it while conjoined with Sun in the first year)

- Has a huge collection of fidget toys

- Sometimes he’s trying to explain something but he says it in his head or just says gibberish thinking we understand

- Has fictional ‘crushes’ but it’s just like ‘yo he’s hot I think’ and Sun goes ‘… what’

- Whenever he’s mad he walks into his room (or any room with a pillow/blanket) and screams into it and just comes back out like nothing happened (If he didn’t he would actually explode and start to stim aggressively) (EDIT: I love that this is canon now)

- Did actually enjoy having a tail as a furry but would never say it aloud

- Listens to that one song that used to play for intros to sleep

- His pupils get bigger when he’s excited like a cat (same with the opposite)

Lunar:

- His hyperfixation on bean bags is fading away and he desperately needs a new one (I want to get him to read fanfic)

- His hyperfixations over time are: Bean bags, plushies, LOL dolls, Trolls, Stars, Astrology, creepy pasta, cooking, art, phobias, Baldi’s basics, slime, and ASMR

- Listens to ASMR videos as he charges

- Forgets that not everyone is an animatronic sometimes and says things to kids that don’t make sense

- Will infodump about the weirdest shit (Last night i dreamed i was a bottle of ketchup ass shit)

- Steals my clothes and wears them around the house when he washes his (he just wears my sweaters and those donut pants I have)

- Even when he isn’t washing his clothes he sometimes wears my huge purple sweater thing

- His favorite types of ASMR are wood soups, slimes, and ones that ask questions like an interview

Earth:

- When in distress she floofs up her hair too much and it sticks out weird

- Has HUGE plushies she snuggles

- Has a habit of sticking her face into things that look soft

- loves stardew valley, Animal Crossing, and those Roblox games that are really aesthetically pleasing

- Mental disorders are her special interest/hyper fixation and she spouts it to me

- Her Roblox character is stunning and looks beautiful, she worked on it for a while

- Plays along with ASMR Roleplays

- Tingle immune 😔

- Talks to a Monty plushie when she’s upset, another coping mechanism she picked up

Solar:

- Doesn’t understand some pop culture references due to being isolated by his Moon

- Finds this universe Monty as a significant upgrade to his

- Draws himself as a human

- Amazing at art like holy shit (style is sorta like all the thumbnail artists mixed together)

- Has Aphantasia (BECAUSE I DO AND I NEED REP)

- This has happened → Moon: Hey Solar, have you seen Candice? | Solar: … Who’s Candice..? | Sun: MOON NO. | Moon: CANDICE DI- (Solar slapped him in the face afterwards)

Bloodmoon:

- has been high (I will not elaborate)

Castor:

- “Lunar, what’s a ‘skibidi rizz’?” *COMPLETELY DEADPAN AND MONOTONE*

There’s other characters but these are fun/cute ones 😭😭😭

I know these aren’t canon (a lot of the stuff in general in these aren’t canon and have been debunked) but I don’t care and they’re still part of this so fuck you

[risingwinter]

Vegan, autistic meals

As an autist working toward veganism, one of the trickiest things is finding recipes that don't take dozens of ingredients, more than half an hour, are texturally strange, or all of the above. What I would have loved at the beginning was the reminder that there are existing things we eat commonly that are either already vegan or easily made vegan. Examples below the cut.

"longevity soups": these usually incorporate sauteed vegetables (potatoes, carrots, celery, and the like) seasoned simply with salt, pepper, maybe some garlic and paprika and whatnot. Vegetable broth, tomato paste/stewed tomatoes/etc., cooked beans, and uncooked pasta are added and boiled until the pasta is tender. This one may take up to an hour but half of it is downtime. For those with gluten issues, you can skip the pasta, with bean issues you can skip the beans, add or replace with TVP, these are very flexible.

peanut butter and jelly: bread isn't inherently vegan, but it's a lot easier for it to be vegan I would remember. You don't need eggs or milk, just water and yeast and you'd be surprised how many breads are done that way. Maybe unique where I've been living, but there's always been a vegan option available in the store aisle. Similar note with pasta--most of the shelf-stable kinds just use water.

Asian recipes! So many of these, like peanut noodles, different varieties of chow mein, yakisoba, etc. A lot of Asian countries didn't grow on the same reliance western countries have had for animal products (insert caveat for fish) so I feel like there's a lot more easily-modified recipes to work with.

Salads: I used to imagine just leaf salads and that's not sufficient for getting your nutrients. What I've been making lately is a pasta salad with beans and chopped vegetables like cucumber, tomato, broccoli. I add some vinaigrette dressing with some salt when serving.

Notice the lack of vegan meats and cheeses. I love the growing availability of these, but they can take some getting used to as an autist and are not the same as their animal counterparts. Fake cheeses can really up the quality of the salads if you do want to try them, and fake burgers camouflage well with other burger condiments. I also love tofu, whether it's firm and fried or silken mapo tofu, and can be added to most recipes.

Hopefully this helps someone else either in their current journey or who wants to try dabbling. (Don't forget your B12, though.)

[33max]

bean, td heals my soul. like seriously heals my soul

if u could rank the plushies max owns, would you?? (or would that be mean bc max loves them??)

It heals my soul too 🥺

Mr Roar is of course always number one, he goes with Max everywhere and he is always in the bed with them (even when Max is big!)

Other than that, Daniel lets Max have one other plushie in the bed with them each night and Max rotates who he chooses so that it’s fair to everyone. If Max could he’d have them all in bed with them, but alas, they cannot all fit.

Soup is probably Max’s second favourite if he had to choose, because Soup is Max’s way of expressing his mischievous side! For example Soup eats the ice cream from the tub in the freezer and wipes it all over Max’s mouth to make him look guilty 👀

He loves them all, even Skelly (the skeleton plushie) who freaks him out a little bit but Daniel says Skelly fights off any meanies in Max’s dreams ♥️

[glitter-soda]

Does anyone have any low-prep meal ideas for an autistic with a lot of food restrictions who’s trying to get healthier? I’m not picky because I like to eat things that are the same (though I don’t mind repeatedly having the same meal), but because I have a lot of issues with food textures.

My no foods that are common:

Fish

Peas

Soups/Broths

Ham

Eggs cooked in any way but scrambled

Apples, cherries, peaches (actually allergic to these)

Mushrooms

Tomatoes

Tofu

Nuts

Anything wet or mushy

Anything with too many different textures (eggs on toast, hard shell tacos, etc.)

Some safe food examples:

Chicken

Beef

Potatoes

Pasta

Spinach

Asparagus

Raw carrots

Cooked broccoli

Cheese

Beans

Most fruits besides the ones I mentioned

Most spices

[nymphex]

How-to: Stay healthy while on a calorie deficit

Meal Ideas Breakfast:

Egg White Omelet with Veggies

3 large egg whites: ~51 calories

1 cup spinach: ~7 calories

1/2 cup mushrooms: ~8 calories

1 small tomato: ~16 calories Total: ~82 calories

Greek Yogurt with Berries

1/2 cup non-fat Greek yogurt: ~50 calories

1/4 cup fresh berries: ~20 calories

1 tsp chia seeds: ~20 calories Total: ~90 calories

Lunch:

Zucchini Noodles with Marinara and Lean Turkey

1 medium zucchini (spiralized): ~33 calories

1/2 cup marinara sauce: ~60 calories

3 oz ground turkey (lean, cooked): ~150 calories Total: ~243 calories

Vegetable Stir-Fry with Tofu

1 cup bell peppers: ~24 calories

1 cup broccoli: ~55 calories

1/2 cup zucchini: ~17 calories

1/4 block firm tofu: ~94 calories

1 tsp olive oil: ~40 calories Total: ~230 calories

Dinner:

Salad with Grilled Chicken

2 cups mixed greens: ~10 calories

1/2 cup cucumber: ~8 calories

1/2 cup cherry tomatoes: ~15 calories

3 oz grilled chicken breast: ~140 calories

1 tbsp balsamic vinaigrette: ~30 calories Total: ~203 calories

Vegetable Soup

1 cup vegetable broth: ~10 calories

1/2 cup carrots: ~25 calories

1/2 cup celery: ~8 calories

1/2 cup green beans: ~20 calories

1/2 cup white beans: ~100 calories Total: ~163 calories

Snacks:

Sliced Veggies with Hummus

1/2 cup carrot sticks: ~25 calories

2 tbsp hummus: ~70 calories Total: ~95 calories

Apple Slices with Nut Butter

1 small apple: ~55 calories

1 tbsp almond butter: ~98 calories Total: ~153 calories

Supplements and Nutrient Boosts Make sure you don't lose out on your essential vitamins, those are crucial for your physical and mental health - for example, some help get rid of brain fog, insomnia and/or trouble staying asleep **and you'll feel more energized which means you'll be able to move around more!** + workouts! (You don't want your muscles to hurt when you're working out.)

Multivitamin: Covers daily nutritional gaps, including essential vitamins and minerals.

Omega-3 Fatty Acids: supports heart health and reduces inflammation.

Vitamin D3: vital for bone health and immune function.

Magnesium Supplement: supports muscle function and prevents cramps. (it also helps with period cramps!)

Calcium Supplement: crucial for bone health and muscle function. MUST have optimal levels of calcium at all times, trust me, hypocalcemia is no fun.

Probiotics: aids digestion and gut health.

B-Complex Vitamins: supports energy metabolism. **no, calories in pills DON'T COUNT.**

Workout Routine

Focus Areas: Building Muscle, Slimming Tummy, Burning Fat

1. Strength Training (3-4 times a week):

Deadlifts (3 sets of 8-10 reps): Full-body strength, focuses on legs, back, and core.

Squats (3 sets of 12-15 reps): Targets legs and glutes, helps build lower body strength.

Lunges (3 sets of 12-15 reps per leg): Engages glutes, hamstrings, and quads.

Push-Ups (3 sets of 10-12 reps): Strengthens chest, shoulders, and triceps.

Plank (3 sets, hold for 30-60 seconds): Core exercise that also engages shoulders and glutes.

Russian Twists (3 sets of 20 twists): Focuses on obliques and core, helps slim the waist.

2. Cardio (4-5 times a week):

High-Intensity Interval Training (HIIT):

20-30 minutes per session, alternating between intense bursts (e.g., sprinting) and short recovery periods (e.g., walking).

Steady-State Cardio:

30-45 minutes of moderate intensity (e.g., jogging, cycling, swimming).

3. Core-Specific Workouts (3 times a week):

Bicycle Crunches (3 sets of 15-20 reps): Engages the entire core.

Leg Raises (3 sets of 15 reps): Targets the lower abs.

Mountain Climbers (3 sets of 20 reps): Full-body cardio move with core focus.

4. Flexibility and Recovery (2-3 times a week):

Yoga or Stretching: 20-30 minutes of flexibility exercises to enhance recovery and prevent injury.

Total Daily Calories

Average Calorie Intake: ~900-1200 calories This range is low, so it’s very important to monitor how your body responds and adjust as needed to avoid negative health effects.

Important Reminders:

Listen to Your Body: Regardless of what's promoted in the community, or how quickly you see others reacing their GW's, always prioritize your health over rapid results. If you feel fatigued, dizzy, or unwell, it’s essential to reassess your calorie intake or exercise intensity.

Stay Hydrated: Drink plenty of water throughout the day to stay hydrated, aid digestion, and support overall metabolism. (no, energy drinks and coffee doesn't count)

Rest and Sleep: Ensure you’re getting 7-9 hours of quality sleep each night to support recovery and overall well-being.

Self-Compassion: Remember that progress takes time. Be kind to yourself and celebrate every small victory along the way. You don't just become the butterfly overnight. Turn it into a lifestyle, rather than a fast road.

BONUS: How to get through a plateau Hitting a weight loss plateau can be frustrating and discouraging, but it's a common part of the journey. Here’s how to overcome it: 1. Reassess Your Calorie Intake

Track Your Calories: Double-check your food portions and calorie counts. As you lose weight, your body needs fewer calories, so what worked before might need adjusting.

Create a Small Calorie Deficit: If you’ve been consistent with your calorie intake, consider reducing it slightly—by about 100-200 calories per day. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Metabolism Days!!!

Prevent Metabolic Adaptation: When you're on a calorie deficit for an extended period, your body can adapt by slowing down your metabolism. Metab days help to "trick" your body into thinking it's getting enough fuel, which can prevent or reverse this slowdown.

Boost Hormones: Eating more can temporarily boost levels of leptin, a hormone that plays a key role in regulating hunger and metabolism. Higher leptin levels can help increase energy expenditure.

Mental Break: It provides a psychological break from restrictive eating, making it easier to stick to your overall diet plan.

How to Implement Metab Days

Increase Calories: On metab days, you increase your calorie intake to maintenance level or slightly above. This can be an increase of 300-500 calories depending on your usual intake.

Focus on Carbohydrates: Many people use metab days to increase their carbohydrate intake because carbs can have a more significant impact on leptin levels. This might include adding foods like whole grains, starchy vegetables, and fruits.

Frequency: Metab days can be done once a week or once every two weeks, depending on your dieting strategy and how long you’ve been in a calorie deficit.

Stay Active: Continue with your regular exercise routine, as this will help ensure the extra calories are used effectively and support muscle growth and recovery.

Example of a Metab Day Plan

Breakfast: Whole-grain pancakes with fruit and a dollop of Greek yogurt.

Snack: A smoothie made with banana, oats, and almond milk.

Lunch: Grilled chicken wrap with avocado, lettuce, and a side of sweet potato fries.

Snack: Handful of nuts and a piece of fruit.

Dinner: Salmon with quinoa and roasted vegetables.

Dessert: A small portion of dark chocolate or a fruit salad.

Benefits

Prevents Plateaus: By occasionally boosting your calorie intake, you help keep your metabolism more active, which can prevent weight loss plateaus.

Improves Energy Levels: A day with more food can help restore energy levels, making it easier to maintain high-intensity workouts.

Supports Mental Health: It provides a mental break from constant restriction, which can improve adherence to your diet in the long term.

Caution

Avoid Overeating: The goal is to eat more than on a typical day, but not to binge. Keep the increase controlled and within a reasonable range.

Monitor Progress: Track how your body responds to metab days. If you notice consistent weight gain, you may need to adjust the frequency or calorie increase.

Metab days can be a useful tool in a structured weight loss or fitness plan, helping to maintain a healthy metabolism and support long-term success. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

2. Shake Up Your Workout Routine

Increase Intensity: Push yourself a bit harder in your workouts. Try adding more weight to strength training or increasing the speed/intensity of your cardio.

Incorporate HIIT: High-Intensity Interval Training is effective for breaking plateaus. Short bursts of intense exercise followed by rest can boost your metabolism.

Change the Type of Exercise: If you’ve been doing the same workouts for a while, your body may have adapted. Try a new activity like swimming, boxing, or cycling to challenge different muscle groups.

3. Prioritize Strength Training

Build More Muscle: Muscle burns more calories at rest than fat, so incorporating more strength training can help rev up your metabolism. Focus on compound movements like squats, deadlifts, and bench presses.

4. Revise Your Macros

Adjust Protein Intake: Ensure you’re getting enough protein, as it helps preserve muscle mass while you lose fat. Consider increasing protein slightly while reducing carbs or fats.

Consider Carb Cycling: This involves varying your carbohydrate intake on different days—higher carbs on workout days and lower carbs on rest days.

5. Manage Stress Levels

Stress and Cortisol: High stress can increase cortisol, which may lead to weight gain or hinder weight loss. Incorporate stress-reducing activities like yoga, meditation, or even simple deep-breathing exercises.

Adequate Sleep: Lack of sleep can affect hunger hormones and lead to weight gain. Aim for 7-9 hours of quality sleep per night.

6. Hydrate Properly

Drink More Water: Sometimes, the body retains water, which can mask fat loss. Drinking more water helps reduce water retention and supports metabolic processes.

7. Cycle Your Caloric Intake

Calorie Cycling: Vary your calorie intake throughout the week. For example, eat at maintenance level (or slightly above) for a couple of days and then go back to a deficit. This can prevent your metabolism from adapting too much to a low-calorie diet.

8. Mind Your Eating Habits

Avoid Mindless Eating: Be mindful of snacks and portion sizes. It’s easy to consume extra calories without realizing it.

Intermittent Fasting: Consider trying intermittent fasting, where you eat all your meals within a specific time window (e.g., 8 hours). This can help control calorie intake and improve insulin sensitivity.

9. Evaluate Your Overall Health

Check Hormonal Balance: Hormonal issues like thyroid dysfunction can contribute to a plateau. If you suspect a problem, consult with a healthcare provider.

Check for reproductive issues - such as PCOS (can make you gain weight easier and/or have a hard time losing weight)

Consider Metabolism Testing: Some fitness centers or health clinics offer metabolism testing, which can give you insight into how many calories you should be consuming.

10. Stay Patient and Persistent

Reframe the Plateau: Understand that a plateau is your body’s way of adjusting to new changes. It’s a sign that you might need to mix things up but doesn’t mean your progress has stopped permanently.

Track Non-Scale Victories: Pay attention to how your clothes fit, your energy levels, and your body measurements. Progress can be happening in ways other than the scale.

11. Consider a Break

Diet Break: Taking a break from a strict calorie deficit for a week or two (eating at maintenance) can reset your metabolism and reduce stress, making it easier to resume weight loss afterward.

12. Stay Consistent

Stick to Your Plan: Even if the scale isn’t moving, staying consistent with healthy eating and exercise is crucial. Over time, the plateau will likely break.

Remember, patience and consistency are key. Weight loss plateaus are normal, and with the right adjustments, you can push through and continue progressing toward your goals. This isn't talked about enough here, and if this helped anyone, then it's what makes me the happiest. You don't have to make yourself get sicker, just to feel valid. Remember, being healthy and having your vitamins in check is most important, as your energy levels will be optimized. More energy -> more moving around -> more calories burnt!

[tozettastone]

Today I made the bean soup from the US Senate! I have to admit it tastes pretty good. I stuck a couple containers in my freezer to riff off later.

The recipe is (and it's linked above so you can see it on senate dot gov if you like):

"Bean Soup Recipe (for 5 gallons)

3 pounds dried navy beans

2 pounds of ham and a ham bone

1 quart mashed potatoes

5 onions, chopped

2 stalks of celery, chopped

4 cloves garlic, chopped

half a bunch of parsley, chopped

Clean the beans, then cook them dry. Add ham, bone, and water and bring to a boil. Add potatoes and mix thoroughly. Add chopped vegetables and bring to a boil. Simmer for one hour before serving."

Obviously I did not make 5 gallons of soup and there were some substitutions (hocks with bone exchanged for ham off the bone and a stock cube, for example, as the local supermarket had no smoked hock), but I made a pot in (roughly) these proportions, tasted a little, and then altered it a bit with my own additions.

It's a good base. I recommend adding a little tomato paste, a smattering of parmesan cheese to serve, proportionally more garlic, a little chopped chilli (as in, hot peppers). You know.