#BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK I WANT HIS COCK SO BAD WTF WTF

[fakehusbandgarbagedump]

[littlepuppers]

A thought to add to that fantasy:

The owners end up having to go on a trip again a month or two later, and seeing as you did such a good job last time, they ask if you can watch him again for two weeks. Even though you really don't want to, they pay really well and you could really use the money, so you end up in their living room as they hand you the keys and head off on their trip, his snout pushing between your thighs before their even out of the driveway...

mmmm yesss i mean unfortunately i need the money and they pay so much bc he’s a big dog and eats a lottt so i have to keep dog sitting him.

as we’re in the driveway, i push his snout away from me and walk inside. i pour food in his bowl and get myself a snack. i remember not to bend over or lean down too much bc of what happened last time. and i wore that stupid skirt again. why?? because i have to be presentable for the owners, they know my parents and will report back or get someone else if i seem like i’m a slacker. anyway, i literally can’t ignore the fact that his huge dick is just out bruh like have some courtesy.

i’m there for a couple hours watching movies and chilling on the couch while he’s on the floor. I fall asleep to the peaceful sound of gunshots from an action movie.

OW WHAT THE FUCK. i wake up in a panicked state feeling claws scraping my thighs. i look down and this damn fuckin dog has his head under my skirt and is nuzzling my pussy rn, licking it way too harshly. wondered why i had such an intense wet dream. ewww disgusting i push his head away but he’s not budging, he muzzles deeper and is tongue goes inside me. it goes in wayyy too easily bc im fucking soaked. WTF buddy get out please..i feel his huge tongue lapping at my walls and my legs start shaking. fuck i’m like about to cum in a dogs mouth this is so sick. my thighs start tightening around his head, then he stops.

dude. what. there’s no way this dog just edged me. fuck off.

he gets up to leave but then bites onto my skirt and drags it up all the way to my face. i playfully bite onto it, taking it from him and giggle. but all of a sudden his paws pin down both of my arms and i realize what position we’re in. oh my god no no no no no NO.

his hips go down and he starts bucking them trying to find my parts. so gross please don’t, not again. i squirm trying to dodge his scary MASSIVE doggy cock. he then lays his upper body down on me, putting all his weight on and pushes harshly into me. FUCK. god what the fuck. he ruts into me in and out so fast and hard, it hurts. i think his cock is getting bigger…oh shit. noooooo no no. please don’t. i try to push his paws off my arms and he snaps at my face, i flinch away and tears start running. he licks them off my face while still pounding me. the squelching sound and my whimpers fill the room it sounds so fucking inappropriate. i feel his knot trying to get in “NO BUD GET OFF!” he pops it in and finally stops thrusting. the feeling is overwhelming and i cum immediately as it goes in. buddy whines and barks in my face. i feel his liquid flood me. fucking disgusting. im still sniffling from earlier but i take deep breathes while his knot goes down. he continues to lick my face till im ok. that’s kinda nice. but not nice bc he knotted me without permission. “no treats later buddy” i say and then he starts shifting his hips, i gasp as he slips it out of me. i hear the liquid drip onto the floor and feel it gush out of me. sweaty and panting, im still laid out on the couch, legs spread, and there’s a disgusting doggy cum mess all over my pussy.

fuck…i look down and see it left his huge puddle on the couch. great, now i have to clean it all up. i get up carefully and start walking when my legs give out. i collapse on the floor, my legs are too shaky to walk. buddy walks over to me and is sniffing me, especially down there. he whines. i think he feels bad and wants to clean me up. i slowly and carefully spread my legs and he puts his head down, licking up my thighs and on my pussy. fuck it’s sore and feels really overstimulated, but um, kinda good ig. his head comes up and he licks my face, spreading his cum on me GROSS. i push him away and he trots away, growing another hard on. i roll my eyes, glad that didn’t go anywhere. i get up, less shaky now, and go to get the cleaning stuff.

i clean up the mess and forgot about his cum, now crusted, on my cheek. gross. i wash it off and sit back on the couch, exhausted even more now. i refuse to sleep near him again. what a gross horny dog. what is his deal seriously. he lays on the ground near me and stares at me, panting, his red cock out on the ground as well. god, can���t believe i have three more days of bullshit.

IM SO WET WRITING THIS

[toruro]

hi :3 i've been extremely feral abt joshua lately so:

i think he'd be the type of bf who'll tease his needy s/o. like when you're obviously trying to work him up, he just smiles at you and says some shit like "you can wait until we get home. right, baby?"

and then when he finally gives you what you want, he doesn't hold anything back until you're crying and begging him like shua, please hold on a sec— but he's having none of it bc "aw, but you asked for this, didn't you?"

anyway (kisses u) love u and ur writing always <3 i've been ghostreading so many on the side that i felt really bad and had to let you know how much i enjoy ur stuff through an ask >:'(

take (all of it)

pairing. h. joshua x reader tags. smut, dom shua, teasing a/n. kai wtf...... WTF!!! im barking also >_< THANK YOIMDJ I LOVE U U N UR WRITING THAT MEANS A LOT TO ME c:

all joshua told you in the car was to get yourself ready because once you two got home, he wouldn't waste a second. you half believed him, half didn't, and now you realize that that was a dangerous mistake.

you worked yourself up to two fingers in the passenger seat, joshua only watching you from the corner of his vision with a sickly sweet smile. you thought he would help you out once you got home—joshua knew your poor fingers weren't nearly as thick as his, couldn't reach nearly as deep as his when they curled into all the right spots.

but you were testing your luck the entire night, and you should've known that joshua wouldn't let you slide without facing the consequences.

which is how you end up with your ass propped on a pillow, back against your mattress, one hand gripping at joshua's bicep while the other tangles in the sheets. he's prodding his fat tip at your hole and your bottom lip puffs out into a pout.

"josh—joshie," you murmur our his nickname in hopes that it'll soothe the mean glint in his eyes. you should know better. joshua's been waiting for this, and he hasn't even stuck it in yet—you'd be stupid think the he'll cave already.

"you asked for this baby," he warns, slamming his cock deep inside you in one go. the stretch wracks a sob through your body, legs flailing and nails digging into his skin at both the overwhelming pain and pleasure.

he's just so huge and he's hitting all the right spots but then again, your poor little pussy can only take so much. "shua, h-hold on," you cry out, as he pulls his hips back.

"huh?" he coos, snapping his cock back into you, causing you to shut your eyes tight and moan loudly as your body jerks against the bed. "you don't want my cock?"

"no!" you protest. "want your cock so bad joshie," you confess, "just want you to slow down a li'l..."

joshua's eyes crinkle up, and his hand grips your hip so tight you know he'll have bruises. "aw, but baby," he murmurs with a faux pout on his lips. you're looking up at him with these puppy eyes and flushed cheeks and fuck, he doesn't know how he can ever hold himself back when he fucks you, "you asked for this, didn't you? all night, right?"

"b-but—"

"don't be a brat," joshua warns when you even attempt to argue, and you shut your mouth real tight, a muffled cry escaping your lips as he continues to ruthlessly fuck into you. he looks down at your cunt and the growing wetness that's creaming his cock, and he has to such in a breath so his eyes don't roll to the back of his head. "needy girl ... you're just gonna take whatever i give you, huh?"

[buckydeniro]

BestFriendsDad!Bucky x Reader

A/N: i’m still working on part two of This Is Trouble and also the actual dfb!bucky series i want to write because i’m having a bit of writer’s block but! i wanted to post something because i felt bad that it’s taking so long agdkdhdjdh this kinddd of got away from me a bit i’m sorry if it’s way too long sgskdhdkdj

summary: you were just trying to bake secret cupcakes for your best friend for her secret birthday party but mr. barnes had to, like always, make it difficult.

trigger warnings: sexual tension, hints to sexy time, beginning of sexy time at the end, FLUFFFFFF, they are cute ok like wtf damn i’m alone

“You’re doing it wrong”

That stupid smirk with a voice. You internally sigh, stopping the mixing of the cupcake batter for your best friend’s, his daughter’s, surprise birthday party. Looking up at the ceiling, preparing yourself for Mr. Barnes to exhaust you with his teasing remarks.

Absolutely, no doubt you found him attractive, incredibly attractive. There have been your fair share of nights with your hand between your thighs and him in your mind.

“I’m not doing it wrong, asshat.” The last part you mumbled under your breath but he caught it, throwing his head back with a good laugh. You take a risk and flick your gaze to him, inhaling deeply at the sight of him leaning against the kitchen doorway with his arms crossed, watching you, a full smile on his face. You were always bickering with each other, all in good fun but you both knew that it was just to get some of the tension, that you both never brought up, out.

Rolling your eyes, turning back to the task at and, you try your best to focus when he starts walking towards you. “Asshat? I’ll let it slide.” He’s standing beside you, hands pressed to the counter, watching you stir as best as you can with his intoxicating self right beside you, causing your movements to falter.

“If you have something to say then say it.” He suppresses a cocky grin, loving how easy he can rile you up. “I’ve already said it, you’re doing it wrong, but I guess I have to show you. Move.”

“No.”

He barks out a laugh at the quick, clipped reply.

“C’mon, move.” You stand up straighter, half in defiance and half in trying to hide your body’s reaction when he removes his hands from the counter and god, he’s full on smirking now. You a hum a no which causes him to roll his eyes, “Fine.”

As quick as he said it, his hands are burning their signature into your waist, picking you up and moving you aside, sitting you and your now gaping mouth back down on your feet, squeaking out a shocked, “Hey!”

Chuckling, he slides his long fingers around the handle of the whisk that you are now barely holding on to. “Now,” He starts with an at eased smile, eyes locked on yours before he plucks the whisk from you and goes to the bowl. “You do it like this.”

You hate yourself. You absolutely hate yourself in this moment because all you can focus on is the way his hand is gripping the handle and moving it. Swallowing, pulling your eyes away from his hands, you mutter, “I was doing fine.”

A bold lie. Right through your teeth. You knew you somehow butchered up stirring. Fucking stirring. All because he was in the same room with you, burning a deadly stare through you.

Pausing his movements to laugh, he looks at you with those crinkles beside his eyes, proof of the huge smile you’re giving him.

And you can’t help but give up and let yourself smile back, chuckling to yourself now.

“Honey, I mean this in the nicest way possible.” Turning to rest his hip against the counter, his fingers lifting to brush your cheek, tucking your hair behind your ear as he speaks. “You can’t bake for shit.”

You gasp, mouth falling into an o shape. “It’s! It’s not my fault!” You defend yourself as he crosses his arms over his chest, still resting against the counter, highly amused at your reaction. “Oh, it’s not?”

“No! And how was that the nicest way possible!”

Squinting your eyes at him as he laughs, grumbling under your breath. “I’ve made cupcakes before.”

“Mhm, sure you have, doll.”

“I have!”

Your heartbeat thumps wildly against your chest at the second pet name he’s called you not even within three minutes. Cocking his head to the side, still smiling. God, you want to wipe it off his face or kiss it off. You can’t decide.

You huff, turning away from him, busying yourself with folding a little towel, your cheeks heating up, feeling him study the side of your face. “You have to stop doing that.”

He’s a bit perplexed at your words, “Doing what?” God, this was so embarrassing. You’re going to have to actually say it. “Calling me honey and doll!”

“And why’s that?” Cockiness replacing his confusion in a blink of an eye. You have half the mind to just turn to him and tell him, because I already constantly think about you railing me and your best friends dad so that can’t happen. Oh! I’ve also masturbated to you and want to jump your bones and kiss you every time you walk into the room. Did I mention you make my body feel like it’s on fire without even touching me? No? Well, You make my body feel on fire without even touching me.

But, you choose to not go that route. Yet, you do turn to face him, “Because!” Great, you sound like a petulant child. Which is the exact opposite how you want him to view you. “You’re my best friends dad! You’re not supposed to make me feel stuff!”

“Yes, I’m aware of the title I have.”

You shoot him a glare.

He stares at you for a while, his eyes unreadable, dancing with something that sparkles. “Fuck it.” He shrugs, voice soft, gentle, matter of fact.

“What?” You release your bottom lip, having been biting it in anticipation of what he was going to say.

“Fuck it.” Blue eyes shining, that smile returning. “You are too good to pass by.” Your heart does a backflip, unable to conceal your smile. He brushes your hair from your face, something more is hanging between you two. Something more than just sex. But you both don’t mention it for the time beginning. It was too soon. “So, fuck it.”

Both doe eyed and grinning wildly at each other, “Fuck it.” You say.

“Fuck it.” He replies and you both begin laughing at the giddiness.

You both just stand there, in the middle of the kitchen, his fingers in your hair, the kitchen light a spotlight for the shared goofy smiles. Then he picks you up, throwing you over his shoulder.

“What are you doing!”

Undeterred, he walks briskly and with purpose to his bedroom. “Showing you how too good you are to pass by.”

“What about the cupcakes!”

He jogs smoothly up the stairs, “We’ll go buy some from the store.”

It’s like he knows you’re about to throw a comment back and he beats you to it. “Besides, you suck at baking.”

“Are you kidding me!” The biggest smiles permanently displayed on both of your faces, laughing happily at each other. He gently kicks the door open and sits you down, your voices growing louder and your bodies moving closer, “I’m just saying the truth!” Words tumbling out the best they can through laughter and face hurting smiles, both of you speaking over the other, firing quips at left and right.

“The truth!”

“I’m being honest!”

“Honest!”

“Stop repeating what I’m saying! Is that all you can do!”

“I’ll repeat whatever you say if I want to! Don’t tell me what to do-“

His lips slam into yours, shutting you up. “Take off your clothes, right now. I mean it, do it.”

Completely taken back by the kiss, lips tingling, your core aching, clenching around nothing. You choke out, “On it.”

He snorts and you go to swat at his chest but he catches your wrist. “Finally found a way to shut you up.”

That stupid smirk.

“So fuck me until I can’t talk. That’s another way.”

That stupid smirk, wiped from his face and now displaying itself proudly on yours. His pupils grow dark, hunger and full on lust in his eyes. “Oh, doll, you’re really in for it.”

[igotathingforvampires]

Aro Volturi N.S.F.W Alphabet

CANON DIVERGENT.

Info on Reader: Reader is an Elemental Gift user like Benjamin

CW/TW: a SLIGHT MENTION of assault but NO DETAIL AT ALL (as a SA survivor I do not use this lightly but I do like representation and not having the survivor be that cliche broken doll we end abusers here thank you)

How you two met:

You…..oh you. You’re standing with the Cullens wondering how the FUCK you got here.

Why am I here? What’s with this tiny little kid who can touch me and tell me things. Awe but she’s cute.

You’re just a bored Vampire who knows Carlisle and is Esme’s BFF.

You’re a nomad, and a badass one, see your gift is the Elements like Benjamin, it’s why Amun has his eye on you and is freaked out.

You and Benji are buddies now. Benjamin specializes in Earth and Water. You specialize in Fire and Air.

So now, here you are watching a bunch of cloaked baddies stomping towards you. But Carlisle and you have spoken frequently, the Volturi aren’t bad.

However, they are cautious.

And caution bred by fear is something you know to be wary of.

So you keep yourself a bit behind Carly. Waiting and watching.

The leader— that must be Aro you think, flings his hood back and suddenly you feel your entire chest clench up and a yank within yourself towards him. “Oh what the fuck.” You growl. Glancing UP at the Old Gods you couldn’t help but snap at them “ARE YOU ALL KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?! HIM?!”

The platinum haired man barked angrily, “who dares?!”

Aro is too busy glancing at his brother Marcus who’s smiling. He nods at Aro and huffs a bit of a sigh.

The raven haired man turns ever so slowly, casting his red gaze over the crowd and it falls to Carlisle. “Carly.”

“Aro?”

“Who is that behind you.” Aro can feel his chest hurt like a chain is being pulled.

Carlisle looks confused and glances behind him where you are shaking your head face palming—looking embarrassed.

Edward and Bella are utterly confused, before Edward listens to Aro’s and your thoughts and gets a look of disgust, “REALLY.” He barks.

You feel the rage of a thousand suns consume you. “I CAN’T PICK IT YA KNOW AND HEY WHADDAYA MEAN REALLY —ASSHOLE DON’T TALK ABOUT MY MATE LIKE THAT!”

The entire field is utterly still as you’re heaving, standing on your tip toes in front of the bronze haired vampire pointing at Edwards cringing face, “but it’s—“ he starts, you let out a growl and sparks fly off you.

Edward shuts up.

“I will light your ass on fire.” You whisper hiss.

The Volturi are just tilting their heads like WTF.

Marcus is trying not to laugh, Caius has just become stunned glancing between his brother and the woman across the battlefield.

Aro is getting GIDDY.

“And who is the girl.” He asks.

You turn, your hips swinging with attitude and your arms crossing as you scoff. “Psh, get a load of this Mother fucker,” you whisper to yourself glaring across the expanse of space. “HEY. I have a name.”

------

-----

His First Impression:

Of course my mate swears like a sailor.

Is Aro’s first thought.

His next thought is that you’re awful adorable. Awe so lithe and cute and— Much too … hm, much too adorable to be mine I would think how In the —a violent wind kicks up and flames burst out from your body enveloping your form as you take a few steps forward.

Ah there it is.

“You wanna ask me my name— darling.” You smile wide at him.

“Of course,” his purr is laced with annoyance, but he’s far too intrigued. “Who might you be?”

“I’m y/n. No last name, my parents were assholes.” You shrug. “So, we doing this trial or we figuring the whole—“ you wave your hand between the gaping maw of land between you two, “bond thing.”

Aro pauses, a twitch on his lips, “after the proceedings cara mia.”

“Ooo… love me a man that speaks Italian—” You smirk, raising a brow and cock your head to the side.

Aro makes a stifled choked off growl as his eyes go black— thank God he lost the ability to blush as arousal slammed into him like a freight train.

You’re obviously annoyed, and have as Caius mutters ‘more balls than a Christmas tree’ and you are ready for this trial to be over.

Frankly so is Aro he wants to drag you back to Volterra and bring you to heel.

Not that he thinks that’s going to happen.

But he loves playing with fire. And you’re full of it.

He watches you glance at the Cullens and the half-breed. “Alright Nessie come on let’s show him what you can do kiddo.” You scoop the girl up and you and the Cullens walk over with Jake behind you.

-----

-----

When does he know of his feelings?

When within reaching distance you set Renessme down and pat her head, “okay tiny Loch Ness, say hello.”

Bella is panicking, but she trusts you it seems, she better, you have no qualms frying— sans mate— every vampire here. They do their little song and dance. Aro tries to talk about the danger and you feel your temper boil over.

“Darling.” You croon taking a step forward with a sharp but soft smile.

You remind him of a lioness, purring softly but ready to tear into him with one movement.

He raises a brow; you are in 6 inch heels putting you nose to nose with him. “Yes carissima?” He breathes deep and nearly groans out loud, you smell so good, like spring and a heady feminine scent like perfume edged in lilacs and lavender.

“Could you pretty pretty pretty please just keep an eye on little Nessie— I hate to tell you but she’s quite important to me and I can assure you she fits in with humans better than the Cullens do.”

“And if I don’t.”

You let flames dance in your gaze. “I’ll roast everyone here except your brothers and their mates and make you start the fuck over without me.”

Aro’s done.

Cupid has struck him in his dead heart.

He’s never been more terrified or aroused or enraged at once at your dulcet threat purred from such sweet lips.

He wants to grip you by your hair to him, pick you up and haul you to somewhere private and teach you a lesson.

He wants to fight you. And it’s quite clear you’re ready to rumble, though he’s not sure you’d let him win. Or that it wouldn’t end up tangling in a bed somewhere on fire. That’s fine too.

A manic grin spreads across his face, eyes going pitch black as he snatches you up by the waist and hauls you closer loving the startled look in your eyes settling into something dark and wanting. “And if I agree?”

The brothers roll their eyes.

Go figure you’d be as bat shit as he is.

“I’ll leave with you right now.” You give him THAT look matching his almost mad grin.

A low purr echos from him making Bella clap her hands over Nessie’s ears. “Una ragazza così meravigliosa, credo che mi piaccia come funziona la tua mente.” Such a wonderful girl, I think I like how your mind works.

But your plans to drag your mate off end as Alice shows up with her witness right when he’s about to whisk you off for some obvious adult time.

Both of you sigh put out and exasperated.

Yes you just about ended an entire potential threat with batting pretty eyes and coaxing the leader of the Volturi into some fun.

But now that’s ruined because of the psychic. Alice is looking rather embarrassed as the proceedings go. Given that she probably saw how everything was about to go down.

Aro can sense you’re as annoyed as he is, that and you’re not leaving his side. And you don’t mind touching him but you’re not because oh yeah he needs to focus. But oh he can see your hand twitching towards his own.

He can easily turn his gift off and so he does and grips your hand, quickly jerking you to his side.

Electricity lights along your skin at the contact and both of you jolt a moment and glance sideways looking amused.

This was going to be fun.

——

——

How’d you end up with the Volturi?

Alice and her witnesses ease their concerns about Nessie. Aro placates the Volturi as you linger back behind him a bit. Everyone just poof! Vanishes.

“So ah, can we get my stuff first before you whisk me off around the world?” You ask sweetly.

Aro’s a bit startled, “you wish to leave already?”

You realize he would be willing to stay for a bit and let you acclimate.

“Nah where you go I fucking go, come on baby. Let’s get the fuck outta dodge.” You give him a teasing shove as you walk by making Carlisle’s coven silently shake in mirth at his surprised expression.

Carlisle murmurs, “Good luck Aro.”

“Fuck off Carly.” The King growls back before following you.

That’s all they wrote.

You were in. And you made yourself at home quite easily.

Jane and Alec adore you— you saw them and just SQUEEd. “OMG they’re so DEADLY but so CUTE!”

Jane wasn’t quite sure what to do with you picking her UP and hugging her nuzzling your nose to her cheek, “she’s just a tiny tot of doom I adore it! We’re going to burn the SHIT outta people.”

Alec just sat starry eyed as you ruffled his hair, “I know boys don’t like being picked up.”

Jane had become a koala on you. And you didn’t mind.

Well. You’re Mama now. Aro couldn’t be more pleased as you continue to help develop their skills trying things outside of the box.

See, that’s also a sort of talent you have— you can help people learn how to use their gifts because of how you think. Not a gift per say, but certainly useful.

Jane it turns out can utilize the fire element.

Alec can utilize air.

With you knowing both you’re easily able to teach Alec how to hone his targets and even allow his gift to POP UP near someone rather than from his hands.

Jane is capable of setting shit on fire now.

Aro isn’t sure if he’s proud or worried.

Bit of both. But you are STERN with their use of powers. And when Jane set Felix’s foot on fire she was forced to shine everyone’s shoes in the Volturi in the afternoon and write 200,000 times at HUMAN PACE. “We do not light family on fire.”

She never did it again.

The inner coven loves you. Caius and you are besties Marcus is like a big brother always doting on you. Athenadora and Sulpricia are of course still together as companions, and don’t worry about his ex wife�� they were on the rocks she’s ecstatic someone else can keep him in line.

The coven instantly takes to you, in fact you’re now basically Mother to everyone. Scolding, teaching, comforting, you do it all. But you’re also a leader and a ruthless one at that.

A perfect fit Aro thinks.

——

——

How’d he deal with his emotions?

You are driving Aro FUCKING CRAZY.

Literally mad.

You know how to push his buttons and you are not one to do as told. So for him, he who has anyone bending to his will to see you just cock a brow at him and laugh “awe.”

He wants to choke you half to death.

You are a Queen. He tells himself. It’s to be expected that you’d challenge him.

Sulpricia finds it HILARIOUS and you two are besties. Fuck that’s all he needs. She is ever so encouraging of your independence.

He often finds himself in Sulpricia’s study pacing rampantly, “what am I going to do with her?”

“You know you like it.” Sully says lounging back on her couch. “If you didn’t you wouldn’t be so utterly ass over tea kettle.”

Aro is not good with his emotions when it comes to jealousy. And he is JEALOUS.

You’re perfect to him, utterly beautiful, you are the sun and he Icarus stupidly flying as high as he can towards you in hopes to reach the light.

You’re also inclined to let him touch you whenever you want to express things without using words— and you’ve learned to let him speak to you telepathically as well.

So often you just sit with your pinkies touching on a couch and have back and forth silently except for the occasional twitch on your lips at a humorous comment.

You’ve managed to make him huff a laugh occasionally.

But he is utterly posessive. He does not like it when men stare too long, admiring is one thing, but nothing escapes Aro.

So when a lower guard had been in trouble for an infraction and when you had disciplined him the utter disrespect for a concubine replacement was across Aro’s mind and…welll—

Guard died.

You had just looked startled and gave a ‘oh well’ kinda shrug before touching ARo’s hand. Feel better baby?

Yes you called him baby in private, so modern, and he would NEVER admit he loved it. Baby, darling, love, honey, the list went on and each one twisted his insides into ribbons of absolute adoration.

You had actually taken to the bond so well Marcus had informed him that it was practically cemented.

His only hang up was himself.

——

——

Who does he ask for help?

Didyme is no longer there— his dear sister, a deep sorrow as he was accidentally responsible for her death.

Marcus however is always there to be the voice of reason, and he sits Aro down and listens to his brother spill his guts. Aro is terrified, he is well aware he is THE monster that makes OTHER monsters keep in line.

But for you to look at him like that? He could never bear it. His heart would break.

Marcus sighs, “Aro come here.” He drags his brother to the training grounds.

Where Aro get’s to see his mate literally tear apart the entire guard with blades…. Did his eyes deceive him— were those made from vampire ash and fangs?!

You pause your onslaught, “oh hi darling!” You prance over and smile, “like them? My witch-smith friend made them for me! Fucking bastards kept coming for me after awhile and ya know I just hate the idea of wasting shit.”

Marcus glanced at Aro and gave him a I told you so.

“Everything okay?” You ask looking concerned. You are dragging him along as he partially willingly let’s you take him to his sister’s gardens. “What’s wrong?”

And so, he exhales and does the one thing he’s never done with his gift.

He touches your hand and shows you his own thoughts.

He expects your recoil. Expects you to shun him. Expects your hatred and braces himself for it.

You gasp and when he’s about to drag his hand away and you grip him tighter. “No don’t…let me…” and so you watch— thousands of years of memories over the course of a week or two. Asking silent questions as the images play, getting silent answers in return.

And so, in return, you show him your human life— a life that had been riddled with abusers, torment and lack of love, the iron in your spine that had solidified your creation when you had dragged yourself from an open alley way at dawn into the sewer system after being left to die being drained by a nomad after a brutal assault. You shared with him that it had taken a lot for you to even move after what had happened.

Esme had found you.

And so your friends made sure you were okay even if you didn’t follow their diet.

You both spend time going over your pasts, Aro gently asking questions and you doing the same to answer as best you could.

It was why Rosalie and you got along so well, there were some experiences one could only understand by going through it. And you both had learned how to cope with the trauma you had.

Aro is patient, both of you taking time to feel through each others wounds, taking time to rework into each others personal space.

Marcus is stunned to tell Aro that the bond is nigh unbreakable after this exchange.

The Kings magically -coughs- big brother Marcus loses his shit finding out and Caius leads the search party with Demetri— cough cough— find the nomad and he’s now in a box limb free 15 feet below the dungeon with a tube connecting him to the surface, his tongue removed and he only gets blood once a year. *Jane lit them on fire multiple times to practice her accuracy and aim*

You find out of course, and smile through the dry sobs as all three embrace you like a big protective group hug. For the first time in a very long time, it’s safe.

Truly safe.

——

——

What happens when he tells you?

Aro is a man of few words, and honestly not much is needed between you two with the ability to go back and forth with his gift.

So in the middle of a walk in Didyme’s gardens he merely grabs your hand gently and kisses the top of your fingers.

And you’re flooded with his emotions.

The warmth and tenderness and absolute adoration is almost enough to restart your dead heart as venom pools in your eyes. “Aro…”

He loves you, loves you more than his own life, would give anything for you to make you smile.

This isn’t the love that is complacent, to just sit idle and rust away, he wants to chase you for eternity, whatever it takes to keep you at his side.

And you flood him right back— lowering the barriers you had and after a moment he merely leans down and presses his forehead to your own, giving the two of you time to just bask in the warmth of affection that’s swirling back and forth akin to the waves of the tide under the moon and sun at twilight.

——

——

First Kiss?

The leaders of Volterra were in the throne room, the Queens having their own thrones behind their husbands but visible carved in different woods to represent their personalities with different intricate features much like the brother’s thrones holding different crowning points but all the same color.

Your own is the same color as Aro’s throne, but mingled with mahogany accents. Ruby red stones slotted at the top with a crescent moon and sun carving emboldened with gold spiked halo.

Caius' mate's throne is a pale color, affixed with branches and beautiful earth like tones, complimenting her grounded nature.

Marcus’ Witch Mate is merely embellished in a ash throne, deep red almost black gems and the symbol for the overall witch and vampire alliance above her throne.

With all three positions of Queen in Volterra taken up by a true mate, it is the most stable the Volturi have been in several millennia.

But that day in particular was rough, there were a few traitors that had been brought forward— and one of them had managed to get loose from Felix as Aro had been gaining information lunging for the King’s throat.

You moved so fast no one even saw you as you streaked forward like a ghost and lobbed the vampire’s head off holding a blade made of vampire teeth expertly with an animalistic snarl.

You had positioned yourself in front of Aro, crouched, blade poised and your eyes wide and wild, teeth flashing with a dangerous snarl.

Marcus’ witch had already shielded Aro but paused when she saw how enraged you were. Athena and Sulpricia had faltered, Caius looked utterly proud.

You spun round, dropping your blade— knowing Felix and the others had everything in hand as Aro had reached for you, the two of you locked in an embrace, his hands holding your face still as your own hands grasped his wrists. Foreheads pressed together—

The coven was used to this, a private conversation but you could feel the utter terror that had gone through him when he saw you out of the corner of his eye. If anything had happened to you—he was almost angry at you.

But he could easily sense the rage that had consumed you at the thought of someone hurting him. Despite knowing the guard and Jane would Never allow it, your instincts had taken over.

No one would ever take from you again.

And you had been frightened.

Behind that rage when he got past it was utter fear that he’d be gone and you’d be all alone again all the tender memories would be the last you’d have of him as you gave a dry sob before the venom dropped from your eyes— a true show of vampiric emotion that was a rarity.

“Carissima, no. I’ll not leave you that easily.” He murmured and not giving a flying fuck about anyone in the room kissed you full on the mouth gathering you up in a tight embrace.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered half broken against his mouth. “I’m sorry-“

“I know I know, shhh cara mia shhh,” gathering you up he merely flitted out of the room leaving the others to deal with the issue.

Tons of snuggles. He had bundled you up to him in his private rooms and merely kept your hands together enjoying the shared emotions knowing the other was close and safe.

Aro knew exactly how to calm you, he merely showed you all his favorite memories, of the coven, of his travels, the antics his brother’s got up to. He replayed the moment he first saw you.

That always made you laugh of course she swears like a sailor.

——

——

First Time?

It’s in an elevator.

Okay so here’s the thing. The Volturi have these massive events, and your official coronation happens at one of these.

Aro is so proud.

And so fucking jealous as you are danced across the floor with other vampires— who are oh so respectful and as they should be as Aro watches from the upper floor like an angel of death.

You look stunning, your smile lighting up the entire ballroom, friends from near and far are there— even then Cullens— God bless Carly he even had animal blood brought for him.

You’re dancing around with Nessie laughing and watching the girl child giggle like a fiend before handing her off to the Shifter Aro hated the smell but it was what it was.

Over the course of the evening he was getting awful tired of sharing you. And as the evening wound down to an end you both were just going to take the elevator back up to the private rooms as the Ballroom was on the top floor of Volterra.

The energy crackled in the small space and you both glanced at one another. It was like a short fuse had been lit on a stick of dynamite.

We’re so not doing this in an elevator are we?

You didn’t realize you had said it out loud even as you both gravitated towards one another and his hands tangled into your hair sending gold pins flying to the ground as his mouth found yours and you let out a deep moan as his tongue swiped your lips before you happily opened them.

“We’re going to be patient. Cara mia. ” He said sternly more to himself than you— then groaned when your teeth tugged gently on his bottom lip knowing it drove him crazy. “Sarai la mia morte. Sulla mia tomba scriveranno 'ha giocato con il fuoco ed è perito felicemente’” his voice became heated as his hands moved over your form, “non mi importa più, vieni da me mia fiamma, brucia con me.” You will be my death. On my grave they will write 'he played with fire and perished happily'. I don't care anymore, come to me my flame, burn with me.

His hands were gripping your backside and hauling you up, pressing himself firmly between your thighs before grinding against you. But when his teeth scraped your neck your brain shorted out—

“Oh for gods sake Aro just fuck me already—” your hands were scrabbling at his waist coat and shirt pleased how easily the buttons pinged off the walls of the elevator.

Your mate let out a pleased noise, one that was utterly inhuman when your hands tangled into his raven locks and knocked the golden V pin to the floor allowing the ocean and pomegranate scent of his to curtain you from the world as he bent his head down and kissed you as if it were the last thing he would get to do just then. Right before he smacked his hand against the emergency stop button jolting the ride to the private floor still.

If you thought his kisses were something to be swooning over— because he always knew what you needed.

Well his gift extends to much and he is in tune with it.

Your mind is his favorite place to be, and he brutally uses what he knows to his advantage as his fingers skim up your legs flinging your skirt over your thighs to teasingly grind himself against you till you’re almost clawing at him half feral.

“My pretty little mate—“ he croons at you, “you looked so beautiful cara mia,” kissing down your throat before biting marks into your flesh licking them before continuing on as his teeth jerk the fabric of your bodice and sleeves off not even bothering with his hands. “E tu sei tutto mio, cazzo.” And you’re all fucking mine.

You were busy molding your hands against his form, loving how it was just ratcheting up his half mad with desire motions, twitchy, greedy, desperate to touch, “What was it you joked about that one time?” He was referring to a memory with your best friends over drinks.

You gulped and shivered a bit. “I believe I said sometimes a girl just wants to ahem— get slammed to a wall and fucked stupid?”

He smirked as his hands tore fabric off you letting his fingers to glide along your skin, allowing your own to do the same and showing you know exactly what he liked through the bond of touch.

If you’d been human the air would have left your lungs as he pressed his body tight to your own, pinning you in place letting you feel what you did to him, the hard length of his cock pressed into your belly. “What do you say we take care of that, hm?”

You’re speaking in tongues before he even takes you fully, and roughly, there’s no slow tender love making and frankly you’re just glad for it.

His wild smile sliding into a predatory proud smirk when you’re just a mess; whining at him, begging, pleading, twitching against him and oh you’re just so pretty when at his mercy.

He literally has the tongue of the devil.

“Did I finally break you little one?” He croons despite his rough movements sending you into another shockwave of bliss as your nails make claw marks in the wall.

Fuck he had— you’ll do anything if he’ll just continue.

Your submission is like a drug, he’s mad on it, hands digging against you, making small fissures of cracks along your hips that make you groan gleeful as you push closer for more of his touches.

“That’s right bambi, give me everything.”

That’s all you hear before he’s fucking you into the wall of the elevator, sinking his teeth into your shoulder and neck just to relish in the pain and pleasure filled noises that escape from you as you beg for more, more, just please give more it’s all you want.

“My good bambi.” He growls as he begins it all over again, rumbling in your ear as your try to escape the onslaught of sensations— but happy you can’t as his grip has you immovable. “You’re not escaping me just yet.”

You’re both a mess, not that either of you care. Adjusting yourselves as best you can—

You’re lucky his private rooms are close and he simply carries you and flits you both into his rooms; you both end up continuing what was started.

——

——

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

He is a touch telepath, he knows exactly what you need.

But he also surprises you with what you didn’t even know you needed.

Snuggles, so many snuggles— Aro is not a tactile person— but with you?

Forget it.

He’s practically melting into your form and trying to fuse himself to you.

Massages, nuzzling your hair, biting.

Lots of biting— but not hard bites, love bites. Pressing his teeth to your skin to leave little imprints that he just can’t get over. You always poke fun at him for it.

Plus let’s face it.

Bite = Love.

He and Caius are on one mind with that.

He also took a note from Marcus and you both enjoy the heat of the baths together after a particularly long rough romp.

Which turns into a bath romp.

Because ahem *REASONS*

“I’m King I don’t need a reason to have you— now come here.” He’ll huff imperiously when you giggle at him as he drags you close into his embrace kissing you.

Okay he lies.

You looked too pretty in the bath.

Aro can’t help himself. That’s the reason.

——

——

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He is SHOOK when you tell him your favorite thing about him is his hands. You never feel misunderstood.

Even in the rare fights you simply huff and reach out to him, wiggling your fingers with a pleading glance; or if he won’t take your hand you’ll walk over sit in his lap and headbutt your forehead to his like an angry cat.

But usually Aro will take your hand and you both have a deep understanding of where you’re both coming from.

After a few moments it’s settled.

You kiss his hands, he knows you love how he plays you like a finely tuned instrument when alone.

Love when he delves his fingers into your hair and cradles you close even if you’re in the throne room— he’s the fucking king he can do what he likes damn it.

But Aro is startled by this— everyone hates touching him even though he can control his gift, they seem to think that— aside from his brothers and sister in laws— that he just loves to dive into people’s minds for funsies.

No it’s awful. Plain awful. He can barely stand his own mind why would he want to traverse someone else’s?

But that brings us to what he likes about you— he LOVES your head space. When he’s stressed it’s his favorite place to be because you have a vivid imagination, as a writer as well you show him stories you’ve thought of and worlds you’ve created with vivid detail. He finds it quite amusing to use watch your thoughts too on a daily, you like it simply because he’s close.

But aside from that it’s you.

Just You.

Just ALL of you.

He can’t pick don’t make the man pick, he would just keep you near him for eternity which you seem to have no issues with.

———

———

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically…I am a disgusting person…)

He is quite a posessive person.

Two Words:

Breeding Kink

You’re his and his alone, so the idea of ah— claiming you that way just sends him off into the ether.

The fact that you both have a breeding kink and literally can’t have kids is a GREAT thing because you’ve literally sat there a absolute mess after round five and thought out loud as he tenderly cleans you up, “shit thank god we can’t reproduce because I am 100% sure that’d have knocked my ass up—” which has had him shaking in mirth having to pause to control himself after a few moments.

Beg him for it.

Make that whining needy noise in the back of your throat at him for him to finally give you what you need.

He’ll just lose it, pin you by the throat and well— you’ve broken a few beds this way.

He has no shame.

Just glances at the bed, hits speed dial to the furniture store and orders a new one.

His only other favorite thing with C as he soon found out from O (you’ll see) was he adores when you swallow down everything he gives you. That’s got him rumbling in Italian about what a good girl you are and how much you please him.

———

———

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He’s a MASSIVE Pleasure Dom. And when I say Dom.

HE GOT DOM ENERGY.

With very mild Sadistic tendencies. (Thanks a lot Caius ya pervy fucker)

However he is also a very sincere soft streak when you’re a very good pet.

He picked up pet play from his sadistic brother hearing him call his amore Bunny. One day down the rabbit hole that is Google and he was hooked.

But he calls you Bambi. It’s an Italian term for baby-girl.

It also works because you become like a damn deer in the headlights when he pulls the Dominant voice on you.

It thrums with a low purr and has the capability to just make your brain go wait what?

HE’S A FUCKING SWITCH.

You had been pissed as shit at him. “I don’t know whether I want to strangle you or fuck you to death!” You paused because you had literally throat pinned him to the wall, the stone crumbling beneath him, feeling the muscles of his neck working as he swallowed nervously.

You were about to let go but saw his eyes had gone totally black and expectant and startled but excited.

He was just as fucking confused as you both calculated in a matter of seconds what had happened.

You were first to catch on. “Oh?….OH...….oooooohhhhhhh ….. you….you son of a….” You sputtered as he got a sly grin, “you can’t just look at me like— you are so ill behaved!!”

He wasn’t far behind and raised a black brow at you looking mischievous, “…..and what are you going to do about it mia regina?”

Next thing he knew he was face planted on his office floor with your boot pressed on his cheek making him groan low. “Gonna make you regret mouthing off to me is what I’m going to do my Aro.”

Edge him. Don’t let him touch you all day till he begs. He loves when you exert your authority especially on him? Oh forget it.

Queen Slay.

Literally you are his Queen and you are the only one who get’s to fucking tell him what to do.

And you ruthlessly do so when he’s in the mood. All you hear is “mia regina?” He’ll croon at you, as your hand comes up and drags him to you by his tie.

“would you like to be of service to me Aro?”

Magic words. He’s done, let him have you and he will literally just focus on your pleasure.

Worship Kink.

You had dropped to your knees at his desk and laid your head in his lap and he almost lost his god damn mind. You purred at him, “il mio maestro”.

Aro .exe has stopped fucking working.

———

———

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Thanks to the tactile telepathy as well as the fact that he and his brothers have slept their way through history, Aro is a very mixed lover.

When I say greedy as a lover, he wants your pleasure for himself. And will literally drive you to it till you’re sobbing for mercy.

He has none.

But he does take pity on you when he knows you’re truly at your limit with touch.

You weren’t inexperienced but his own experience blew yours out of the damn water. Can literally have you on the edge in mere minuets. And is SMUG about it.

Fucking smug bastard just watching you with that smirk on his face and a ‘well?’ Kinda expression.

You have to beg if you want it.

You have to plead, you have to let him hear you or he’ll just keep going and I quote ‘hmmm I can’t hear you cara mia, you’re being so quiet you know that makes me want to fuck you harder, come now, let me hear you— don’t make me have to drag it from you baby girl. You know I love to hear your sweet sounds.”

Could probably kill you if you weren’t already dead with what he can do with his hands.

His tongue is even better.

When asked which you preferred you had just panted desperately after a hard orgasm, “any. All. Both. God just…holy fuck.”

He cracked up over that. “My poor baby I broke her.”

————

————

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Loves having you in his lap.

Prefers to see your face and eyes, seems to need it.

But occasionally he just loves gripping your neck from behind and feeling you gasp against his grip as he slams into you roughly.

Adores anything that has you clinging onto him for dear life.

Likes being in a position to mark you. Favorite thing ever.

You had once tested his patience (willfully hoping for this outcome) a bit too much and he had pinned you completely immobile to the desk of his office and fucked you within an inch of your immortal life gagging you with his black tie.

“you just have to test me don’t you mia regina?” He had growled in your ear leaning over you, his hand crunching the ornate wood to splinters as you keened and whined for him to keep going. “Such a ill behaved thing you are, should just keep you here like this for when I please hm?”

He was not joking, you were kept there quite happily under his desk sitting at his feet your head on his lap waiting and absolutely willing.

He could feel your hands grip his thighs, “quit that I know what you’re trying to do and it’s not going to work—“ his voice teetered off in a guttural growl as he looked down.

You were biting his shirt looking up at him already nudging yourself between his thighs your teeth digging into his trouser zipper and tugging down.

his hands were gripping your hair jerking you up to kiss him deep, a growl against your lips, “Fucking damn it— come here.”

When you can get him to swear which is rare— yeah…

He didn’t exactly sound angry.

But he sure fucked you like he was though.

“This is what you were after hm? You brat!” A harsh laugh as he pinned you down a bit harder, “fine then I should ensure you’re good….and….sated…shouldn’t I bambi?”

———

———

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Very sincere.

Teasing but only in a very sexual way.

Borders on humiliation but he respects you too much.

Very serious though when he focuses on you.

He’s focusing on all the sensations you’re sending him, letting you know what he’s feeling as well which just sets you into the damn ether.

———

———

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

It’s ARO.

The man is vain.

The man is neat.

Clean and pristine.

He’d give a regal huff of annoyance, “I am not a heathen darling.”

———

———

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Ohhh you wouldn’t know it but he’s such a god damn romantic.

He is. And he MAKES time for you. The schedules are changed so you have time together more often— something that was never done before.

Operas, romantic walks out in Volterra at night.

Sightseeing.

Your favorite was your trip to Germany in the winter with a big cozy cottage and a big fire and lots of bedding to ahem— destroy.

Aro has penguin brain.

He brings you small gifts that made him think of you— you have a bracelet that has special charms he had custom made for you, a lochness monster for when you met, a castle obviously for Volterra, a doe, different tiny items that speckled through your life, each one means something— you hardly ever take it off.

You have a collection of very sparkly stones in many jars that he found on his missions.

They are actually gemstones— insert eye roll— they set off pretty prisms through your shared rooms.

“Aren’t you going to make jewelry of them?” Aro asks.

“No darling they are perfect just as they are.” You smile.

Aro actually has the literal voice of a damn angel.

He sings to you in Italian, soft dulcet sweet tones and dances you around your rooms teasing you relentlessly.

Aro writes beautiful poetry. He will at least write one every few months when inspiration comes to him.

You have your own private box at the opera house. As well as being allowed to fund artists across the world, you’ve found incredible talent on broadway and other venues.

Flowers. Aro ensures care for a private greenhouse for you on the roof, each flower has a meaning, and they all bloom year round given the proper temperatures on the greenhouse. “Why would I send you flowers when they die so easily.” He asks kissing your cheek as you smile over the new blooms. “This is everlasting, much more fitting.” He muses.

All his poetry is in a beautiful book Caius got you for your birthday.

———

———

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Why would he do that when he has you?

He is a patient man.

He can wait.

And he has pristine control over himself.

He is too old for pre-pubescent raging hormone crap.

But he will legit melt for you if you do it for him. Prefers it slow, enjoying your touch and loves to watch as you take instruction.

You’re such a good girl for him.

————

———

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Aro is a kinky bastard.

MASSIVE Pleasure Dom.

Worship Kink.

Edging.

Controlling Orgasms *you don’t get to come till he gives permission*

Collaring *your Volturi necklace is LITERALLY on a collar*

Overstimulation. *his gift allows him to know when you’re pushed to hard and when you can take a bit more. When you’re craving that over stimulus, he’ll give it happily. Knowing he can turn you into a babbling speaking in tongues, drooling, eyes rolling back mess just— just— GAH.*

Breeding Kink *Aro has a true breeding kink, ask him to fill you up beg him for it and he’s going to lose his mind.*

Gagging. *he loves to gag you, but also loves being choked by you or you grabbing onto his tie.

Wax Play *you’re a fire elemental user, bringing candles into play is just oh it’s nice. * Prefers to have it done TO him. Your air element gift also allows you to cool the wax quickly and give new sensations.

————

———

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Aro is private, he prefers somewhere comfortable to take his sweet time with you.

Rooms Private, hotel, somewhere he can just lavish you and enjoy everything you can give him.

He’d rather take the time to find a nice comfy setting.

But every blue moon— he’ll just look at you in that specific dress molding to your thighs.

He will drag you into an alley way and just rail the shit out of you keeping you quiet with a firm grip over your mouth as he hisses the dirtiest things in your ear.

You two once had a quick rendezvous in a changing room at a theatre. -shrug- it was empty oh well.

———

———

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

“Master?” You bat your eyes at him

His nostrils flare as he breathes in and just knows exactly what you want and you smell so fucking good.

The tone you use.

He knows. You want him. That’s it.

Unless it’s a trial— and DO NOT DO THIS BEFORE TRIAL.

And if you happen to when he takes your hand send him your fantasies after seeing him standing there all regal and watching his mouth form syllables so well and how much better it’ll be with his mouth— ahem— busy somewhere else.

He will be so mad at you.

He’s glaring at you behind a mask of calm and you can feel the fucking tremor in his limbs.

You just bat your eyes innocently at him and smile.

His face: you’re in SO MUCH trouble.

Brat energy??? During Trial?!??! Now is that the time to give brat energy!!???

Oh. Oh. oh you are so in trouble. When he gets done with ripping some poor idiots head off— okay not really they broke the rules— stalks over to you; grabs you by your oh so pretty collar, “come with me bambi.”

And just pulls you along to your rooms with you giggling the whole way and practically prancing behind him like a— well like a doe prancing into a lions den.

He’s tossed you over his shoulder once and just flitted out of the rooms into your private chambers, hurling you onto the bed before ripping into your clothing. “You best be ready for your punishment.”

“Oooohhhhhh absolutly master.”

“that’s my girl.”

The coven just rolls their eyes. Aro is less manic with you there and you surprisingly bring ease to the coven— so ya know what if that’s what does it whatever.

————

————

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Humiliation. No.

Impact play is one thing, but to intentionally hurt you no.

If he does impact play one hand is always touching you to ensure you’re okay.

————

———

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Giving? The man has a wicked tongue.

His oral game is LEGIT.

Will have you in a puddle of twitching ecstasy in mere moments of teasing because he knows where to touch and that’s not just his tongue but his hands.

Will kiss you all over before even getting to the ahem— final destination.

You’re either ready to combust or ready to strangle him when he finally just begins to devour you.

Eats pussy like a man starved but has all the time to enjoy.

Smug as Fuck.

Expect him to just watch you as you’re coming back down from the absolute height he threw you up to and glaring down at his smug grin as he waits before beginning all over again.

Will go all night if you’ve been ill behaved.

Your record is 20 before you BEGGED for a break.

He finally took pity and gave you a warm bubble bath and snuggles and praises.

It wasn’t that he didn’t like receiving, however it was more just a “hm, that’s nice—“

But with you.

Especially when you had decided to walk into his office, lay your head in his lap as you had sat yourself under his desk so he could work while he played with your hair (you have a comfy cushion there who was he to argue if that was the best way to be close and he could get work done??!!)

But his work was abruptly halted when you had nuzzled his cock through his trousers dragging your mouth wide as he became painfully hard in record time.

“what is it you think you’re doing bambi?” He purred looking oh so curious.

“Nothing.” You muffled around him as your teeth found his zipper and trouser buttons with a rather feral sound.

Upon finding out you had no gag reflex and having your nose buried in his pelvis as you moaned around him he was done for and he didn’t even care.

Work was forgotten.

Loves when you pleasure him, but of course has to be in control for the most part.

Buries his hands into your hair and loves throat fucking you, praising you the entire time. “What a good thing you don’t need to breathe dolcezza.”

You had hummed around him ecstatically.

The reward for this is always drool worthy.

Play with yourself as you do and let him see you do so keeping your clothing out of the way and you’ll have him break finally, that cool haughty composure cracking as his gaze goes just utterly uncontrollably wild, his hips moving a bit harder.

————

———

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

You both fuck rough.

But you both also love the slow and sensual moments too.

Especially if you have the time to just drown in one another.

It just depends on the situation.

Rough And Fast:

Slow and Sensual is how it usually starts off, he’s so attentive, so soft and cherishes you, that is till you growl at him for more and he has of course no other option but to give you what he wants.

You’re his queen after all what kind of mate would he be if he didn’t give in?

But has today been exceedingly trying for either of you?

Or is your mate quite amped up from a particularly rough trial?

You’ve been pestering him haven’t you? Hmmm.. yeah buckle up.

You’re in trouble and therefore need to relearn where your place is— it’s in your bed, beneath him losing your mind out of pleasure.

And he is all too happy to provide that lesson if you seem to forget.

You try to forget often. You damn brat.

Slow and Sensual

However sometimes he just wants to be gentle. And frankly so do you, you want to just bask in the bond you have and slowly explore all over again despite knowing you have memorized one another to heart by now.

Doesn’t matter, you still find things that surprise you, things that make you smile.

Places that when touched cause a jolt— well that’s new.

“I could spend my entire life mapping out your body carissima.”

“that’s an awful long time in bed.”

Aro would just smirk kissing down your sternum, “oh what a pity— I suppose my brothers shall have to cover for me hm?” Bite marks being pressed into your flesh, “I plan on leaving so many of these that I forget where they are so I can find them later.”

“Such an evil overlord.” But you’re giddy, he’s going to make your entire world tilt again with those slow careful hands of his and you’re going to enjoy every second of it.

———

———

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

You’d be surprised that such a patient man could be so damn impatient for you.

He’s not as impatient as Caius but not AS patient as Marcus.

So it’s a toss up when he’s twitchy during trials and catches a glimpse of you floating down the hallway in all your grandure and he mentally tosses a coin.

Nope he can’t take it that flash of leg just set him off.

“Excuse me I do belive I remembered something that needs my attention.”

The others just inwardly roll their eyes.

Next thing you know you’re gagged by his tie in his office pinned over the desk with his teeth buried in your neck and frankly you expected this you wore that damn skirt with the slit in it to tease him.

Seeing this just makes him let out a feral noise and a laugh at the end, “oh you planned that hm?” He nibbles the outer shell of your ear, “missed me did you?”

You can only nod as he continues, eyes rolling back as he knows exactly what you’re needing and it’s certainly not gentle right now.

“I have exactly fifteen minutes before my brothers come looking for me— think you can be a good girl and make me come?”

You smirk against the gag in your mouth before purring at him; and it’s off to the races.

He’s in trouble quite often for this— but who’s to argue with him.

He’s king he can do what he wants…. At times….

Okay most of the time.

Plus he’s always in a MUCH better mood.

I wonder Why.

————

———

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

While Aro does love to experiment your safety is his utmost importance.

But he’s a curious bastard and you are right behind him on that scale so sometimes your games become a bit risky.

Never life threatening but oh boy do you two get a grin and just glance at one another, “you know we haven’t done that yet.”

“No…. No we haven’t….”

And that’s how it usually starts.

The worst thing you two can realize is you both utter “I don’t know”.

Well now you have to know if either of you are able to ahem— arrive— under rather dire circumstances such as utilizing your gift (don’t worry your gift doesn’t hurt him he knows how to use fire too surprise surprise.).

You almost had a heart attack though and nearly killed him after.

He just cackled that manic laugh that had you joining in after hitting him several times.

———

———

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Need I say more than one word?

Vampire.

Aro takes his time most occasions, his slow, slow sweet time.

Now— you’d THINK that the rougher encounters would last a shorter period.

You’re wrong.

So wrong.

He lives for it you’re going to be so happy you’re a vampire and can’t really get sore except for when you both leave cracking handprints on one another.

————

———

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Sensory.

Crops, leather gloves, feathers, ben wa balls are huge and he likes that they are silent but give you that teasing sensation. Wax candle play is huge for both of you and you enjoy long luxurious heated baths and sauna sessions with one another.

Ooooo he loves it.

Leather gloves area huge thing for him but not for what you’d think— he likes to challenge himself.

Sure he can know what you’re feeling but he wants to be in tune with your physical responses as well and so occasionally he dons them just to test his knowledge.

Damn smug overlord is just as good and you hate it and now he’s smirking at you while popping his jaw with his hand on his elbow waiting for you to come back into your body.

“Shut up.” You rasp as your head spins.

“I didn’t say anything.” His raven hair slides across his face as he grins wider.

“Your SMUGNESS IS LOUD ARO.”

“Me?! Smug! Why I never…” -cue the dark chuckle before he starts it up all over again, “maybe once more to ensure you remember it’s not just the gifts edge hm?”

“Ohhhh I’m going to die.” But you reach for him biting his leather clad hands.

“No you won’t.” He hums happily, “I won’t let you. You’re not allowed to leave me bambi.”

————

————

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

HE IS SO DAMN UNFAIR.

But so are you.

He’s not as bad as Caius but he is close, and he only does it with LOOKS.

His eyes are utterly expressive, as is that mouth of his, so when he glances at you in just the right way you can feel it drop down in your gut and sizzle.

And he does it during trial. Oh but when you do it you’re in trouble. Psh.

He’ll tease you and brush your hand as he walks by just to know that you’re basically twitching from frustration at the end of the day and about to boil over as he leans down and licks your neck. “Bambi, awe, was I too mean to you? Hmm I should make it up to you shouldn’t I?”

He always makes it up to you.

The man has the best ways to use his mouth aside from running the coven and giving orders.

————

———

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Aro was quite clear studies, and private rooms were to be soundproofed.

He’s loud, swearing (which he normally does not do), praising mess of a man, it’s needed.

And you love it.

You can practically feel the vibration in his chest when he purrs at you, less growling, he’s not as violent unless you get him too worked up.

No no no, he loves making you melt, and knows exactly what to croon at you to make your mind go blank.

———

———

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He’s more posessive than Marcus. And that bleeds into a protective nature.

A bit controlling, but he knows very well he can’t do that to you as he had to Sulprica. BUT it doesn’t stop him from trying as gods forbid anything happen to you.

Less Jealous than Caius.

But his ah— mood swings can cause for quite an interesting feat.

Since Marcus and Caius were always the brunt of the bashing and warfare, and he the brains behind the operation, many seem to think he has no bite marks on his body due to not being in the fray.

No.

The problem is Aro becomes too violent. Especially because of his talent when touching his victims it tends to become a frenzy. Once he had decimated an entire coven single handedly because the rage they had was swamping him.

His brothers had to pin him down and try to relay calm emotions— his sister Didyme thankfully had been the one to bring him back.

You yourself are now that calm place.

At one point, a guard had been careless enough to have thought about you in ah— that way— Aro was aware you were quite beautiful, your personality no nonsense and many of the guard and lower guard considered you a maternal figure almost otherwise a very good friend.

But this guard.

Ohhh he coveted. What was not his.

But what was worse, was that on the way to the throne room he had spoken to you rather crassly, you merely ignored him; he wasn’t even worth your time. But he had glanced you over as if you were a rather tasty morsel, the imaginings of you spread out beneath him had Aro’s hands cracking his wrists.

You saw the change slightly as you were behind him. His spine went poker straight. “You dare.” It was worse, the guard had actually tried to think of how to lure you away to him— you were a queen so surely infidelity was expected—

The rumble in his chest was a whole new sound you’d never even heard.

Both Marcus and Caius were sitting straight up and narrowing their gaze at Aro before Marcus flitted over and guided you to Aro’s throne placing you on it and standing protectively in front of you.

“Marcus?” you peered behind the eldest king and he hushed you gently.

The guard was torn apart in mere seconds.

It was utterly ruthless and with no mercy.

“People tend to forget Aro is only about a thousand years younger than I.” Marcus muttered.

You blinked. Aro was at least five thousand meaning that Marcus was Six, Caius being the youngest at three.

Aro speared the entire guard with a terrifyingly cold glare before flitting over to you, gripping your head back by your hair and sinking his teeth into your shoulder and neck with a low growl.

The sentiment was well understood as the entire guard backed the fuck away from the dais— he closed the wound before his head shot up and he snarled at the coven tucking you into his embrace your face buried into his robes. “She is mine.” It was a quiet, soft voice that spoke.

“Aro.” you muffled tugging his sleeve and looking up at him.

He showed you “what he had seen and tilted his head. Would you mind cara?”

You lit the bastard on fire with a scowl aimed at the body winding your arms about Aro’s waist and nuzzling into his solid form.

A soft kiss in your hair, his body relaxing. “That’s my bambi.”

———

———

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Aro although he is lithe and tall….he’s not exactly easy to handle.

9” decent width, knows how to use it.

Be forewarned, he knows what he’s doing.

Tactile Telepathy, good luck remember to keep your head on straight.

————

———

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

It’s less of a wistful like of yearning.

And more a burning bonfire of desire always in the wing of his mind ready to take over the forefront.

One glance at you and he wants you— granted he thinks it might cool down over the centuries but when you look at him like that and bite your lip and grin.

Nah.

Nope. This isn’t going away. Not at all.

He of course has excellent control so he is able to push other desires to the back of his mind, but once finished you are certainly at the front of the line.

Super high.

You both are insane.

You can be sitting reading and next moment with one small brush you’re gone from the library and you’ve tackled him through the doors of your rooms and pinned him to the floor.

Insatiable.

Good luck!

————

———

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Aro LOVES resting with you.

He likes to just lay with his hands on your body and watching your thoughts, you’re his favorite mind to go through and he just adores it.

You both can spend hours like this if you were allowed—

He likes when you drag your fingers through his hair.

Makes him melt.

Kiss across his eyes and kiss his hands as he brushes your mouth with his fingers trying to learn you all over again.

“I don’t think I’ll ever get enough.” He murmurs to you lazily. He has you nestled in his arms your head tucked under his jaw.

“That’s fucking fine by me.” You giggle.

He rolls his eyes and huffs a soft laugh kissing the top of your head. “Of course she swears like a sailor…”

[harryhoney-bee]

AHHHH OK SO!!!!!

he’s older, of course, and that’s a lil switch kind of thing.

he just got home from work and he’s so overworked and tired of everything that he gets a little subby. y/n is laying on the couch reading a book and he comes and lay above her - he throws her book away and his face is now on her covered tits - saying things like “missed you so much today, love” or “just want anything you want t’give me, please” literally begging for some attention. the thing is: in that same morning he edged her and didn’t let her come before leaving - “be a good slut and wait for daddy to come home and take care of you, yeah?” - BUT his day was so busy and exhausting and he was so in his subspace at the moment that he totally forgot about it. y/n obviously didn’t, so taking her chance shee does the same thing; she starts carefully, kissing and grinding on him - “do you want me to take care of you, my sweet boy? oh i will baby don’t worry” - and then she’s sucking him off but when he’s almost coming she stops and looks up at him crawling back to his lap, he looks at her confused and pouting and she says “oh baby i know you’re being a good boy now but you were such a bad boy earlier, right? and bad boys don’t deserve to come, do they?” with that he remembers what happened “how can i be a good boy for you, then?” so she makes he lean down to sit on his face, he can’t touch her or himself, just take it. when she comes she tells him to sit up straight again, carefully cleaning his face with her tongue and getting his clothes off. she then crawls to his lap again and starts grinding on his bare cock, he’s not inside, just slightly touching. she’s so wet that he slides perfectly between her pussy lips, the base of his cock messaging her clit. she comes again and starts getting a little sensitive, what usually makes her subby. SO once she’s getting subby and he’s more than overstimulated - he stil didn’t come - she whispers in his ear “being my best boy baby, love you so much” and he’s so out of himself that he’s just trying to catch his breath and give her a little tired smile when she leans closer again and says “but i miss my daddy…” AND HE GOES FULL MEAN DOM MODE grabbing her by the waist to their bad and manhandling her around like putting her on all fours and fucking her from behind “think it’s cool to take advantage of daddy, little girl?” he then pulls her hair “answer me” she’s so out of herself right now that she just moans loudly, he grabs her again and now she’s laying under him. he shoves his two fingers inside her mouth while pounding extremely slowly, watching the tip of his cock getting in and out of her “now take everything daddy gives you” “wanna act like a little bratty whore? gonna be treated like one. you’re not coming tonight anymore, babygirl. once you came twice, daddy’s going to come three times and you’re going to take it. gonna fill your little pussy up with my cum and you gonna take it like my little cumslut, right? yeah, that’s exactly what daddy’s little slut is gonna do” and he actually does it, three times in a row. when he comes for the third time, all sweaty and breathless, she with tears of pleasure rolling down her cheeks, he goes all soft again and that is their usual aftercare “gotta clean you up baby, did so good for daddy today. love you so much it hurts” then they just cuddle up and happily ever after

yeah that’s it i guess

-��

YOU AREN'TA ALLOW TO DO THIS TO ME WTF???? SUB!H AND DOM!H AT THE SAME SCENE?????? OH MY FUCKING GOD?????? I HAVE NO FUCKING WORDS RIGHR NOW I AM BARKING, I AM SCREAMING OMG???????????? BESTIE WTF

THE WAY HE WENT ON DADDY MODE JUST FOR HER 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 ON MY FUCKING KNEES, I WANT HIM SO MUCH

I cANNOT DEAL WITH THIS ANYMORE 🥴😞😫😭😫😭😭

[dweetwise]

Hello, can I request a headcannon with the killers that has s/o that has a German Shepard as a pet and would take to trail as to protect and guard s/o.

[yes you can i love dogs asdfdg this made me so happy ;w;]

sort of crack what else is new

Killers X reader with German Shepherd

Evan will pretend to be disgusted by doggo and avoid you two. “Real men don’t care about animals,” his father’s words echo in his head. Still, he won’t place any bear traps the entire trial out of concern for puppy’s safety. Please take the dog to meet him properly after the trial, he’ll warm up to the idea of pets in no time.

Philip loves animals. When he rings his bell and uncloaks to approach you, puppy is spooked and he’ll be so disappointed! He’ll throw the entire trial to hang out with you two, trying to build trust with the dog, and is so happy when it finally lets him pet it!

Max is, um... ABORT MISSION OK. He has some unresolved issues with animals (see: cow tree incident) and you’ll need to hide puppy and give Max a very stern talking to before introducing them. Once Max realizes animal = fren, he’ll become instant besties with puppy!

Sally won’t be overjoyed but is willing to put up with the dog for your sake. “Can you stop barking, I’m trying to have a conversation with my partner,” she’ll scold the dog when it, understandably, is confused by a floating ghost lady approaching its master.

Michael ignores the dog entirely. It could chomp down on his leg and he’d just keep walking. One time, you were whisked away to a trial while you were visiting Haddonfield with your dog, only to return after to find Michael laying motionless on the floor with the dog sprawled out on his face, Michael refusing to move to acknowledge the animal.

Lisa immediately lunges for the dog upon seeing it. “LISA NO DON’T EAT —” you start, when you see she’s just hugging the puppy tightly, while it’s frozen in place and very confused why there’s a tiny person covered in mud clinging to it. “I used to have a dog when I was a child!” she’ll excitedly tell you while giving head pats to the dog with her non-taloned hand.

Anna will look at puppy, cocking her head while humming, with the dog mirroring the action to listen to her lullaby. “You bring food?” she finally asks you, pointing at the animal with her axe. “NO! He’s my friend!” you’re quick to explain. Anna ends up training the dog to locate survivors in trials, and now neither of you are allowed to bring it into trials with you anymore.

Herman... oh lord have mercy. Herman giggles maniacally while approaching the animal, shock charging in his hand. “DON’T,” you warn sternly, protectively stepping in front of the growling doggo. He huffs in disappointment, before shocking you instead. Your scream is more from frustration than pain, but puppy launches himself at Herman, biting into the killer’s arm. “Hmm... interesting reaction,” Herman muses to himself, lifting his bloodied arm (dog still hanging on) and not seeming to care about the pain.

Bubba is terrified of the dog. Even when you manage to get him to pet it after gently coaxing both him and the dog, his hand is shaking. It’s going to take a lot of work to get him to trust such a ‘scary-looking’ animal.

Frank thinks German Shepherds are cool as fuck and fit his ‘badass’ image. He’ll often sneak puppy away from you, prancing around with it in the killers’ camp or trials to try to look tough. That being said, he’s secretly a huge softie and you’ll often find him cuddling the dog in his sleep when he thinks no one will see.

Joey just wants to chill with you and puppy. He’ll let the dog climb all over him and give him sloppy puppy kisses, and he’ll carry the dog around in his lap like a chihuahua. If your dog didn’t sleep in your bed before, too bad it does now because “He’s a family member and is not sleeping on the floor!” according to your boyfriend.

Julie is more of a cat person, but she’s more than happy to play with the dog. When she’s trowing the same stick for the 35th time in their game of fetch, you sneak off to repair a generator and neither of them notice.

Susie... well. “Who’s a good boy? A-who’s a good boy!? You are! Yes you are!” She loves the dog almost as much as she does you and will be extremely sad if you ever visit her without bringing your furry companion with you.

Danny won’t notice the dog at first, sneaking up to you in a trial and smacking your ass playfully. When you yelp in surprise, puppy growls and pounces on the killer, tacking him to the ground. Danny is screaming bloody murder while thrashing under the animal, while the dog is not even doing anything, just looking at him like ‘wtf is wrong with this dude’. It takes you a while to get puppy off of him because you’re laughing so hard.

Caleb is pretty cool with the concept of you having a dog. He doesn’t particularly like pets, but is willing to put up with it. Though he will snark at you to get the dog under control every time it starts growling when he kisses you or if, god forbid, it dares to jump on the bed with you.

Adiris will be like “Ah, a creature made to serve me”. She takes its leash and just... prances around in the trial, puppy following obediently behind her. When she gives the dog back, she’ll praise you for training it so well and give you a big smooch.

Kazan will be surprisingly accepting of the dog, as the most honorable samurai of his time had canine companions. It’s not the same breed, but hey, can’t be picky in the fog. Prepare for a couple of arguments when he wants to teach the dog to maul survivors and you just want it to be a cuddly friend.

Rin is wary of puppy and the feeling is mutual. She's pretty misinformed about the breed, but will be reassured when she sees how well-trained puppy is. Some mischief ensues when puppy once mistakes her floating leg as a new toy and takes off with it, causing an angry Rin to phase after it to catch up.

Pyramid Head will just stare at the dog, then tilt his headpiece in an unimpressed manner as if to say “Really?”. He’ll come around once he realizes puppy makes a fantastic guard dog, and he’ll let it roam the halls of the school outside of trials to look for intruders while he focuses on spending more time with you.

Amanda vibes with the breed being misunderstood and instantly wants to be a puppy mom. She’ll make a spiked collar for the dog, despite your protests. Will make a very pretty picture laying on the couch chilling with the dog, wearing her leather jacket and puppy wearing his new studded leather collar.

(Bonus: Clown running as fast as his chubby legs will carry him while Freddy is getting mauled by the dog into a bloody pile next to him. Clown slips on a pile of dog poop and the animal catches up to him, lunging for his throat. A small distance away, you’re watching the spectacle unfold with Quentin who high-fives you with a smug grin.)

(Bonus 2: The Demogorgon finds you in a trial, but puppy jumps in front of you and growls at the killer. Demo screeches, opening his maw wide and causing puppy to slink down in submission and whimper pathetically. Demo closes his mouth and cocks his head. Puppy starts wagging his tail and curious butt sniffing ensues between the dog and the killer.)

[nothing-personal-my-dear]

Spartacus: Vengeance Rewatch - Episode 1: Fugitivus

Sex Scene: All of them. They went to a whorehouse.

“Cock”: 4

“Cunt”: 2

“Kill Them All”: 0 (I wonder if this is said at all in S2 or 3)

“Fucking Gaul”: 3

Slow motion Face Punch:0

Episode Name Dropped by: Aurelia

Memorable Death:  Aurelia

Favourite Line: “We must stand as one, or fall divided.”

- This is the greatest way they could have introduced the new Spartacus actor. It was amazing.

- Spartacus facing down that horse is beautiful.

- AGRON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- DONAR!! =]

- He’s still throwing his bloody sword.

- I love that Donar has this axe thing, it’s awesome and sets him apart from the other gladiators.

- This beginning fight scene is so well done.

- Agron oh gosh. He’s so angry, so crazed by his grief. Everyone is so wary of him, but like he lost his brother. My poor baby.

-  “I believe the man dead.” – the moment I fell in love with Donar and his bromance with Agron.

- I can always rely on Agron to say “cock”

-  Spartacus has never really been a savage until right now when he carves a message into a dead guy’s chest. Seriously, wtf. 

- I’m so in love with Agron’s necklace.

- Ha! Rome, it looks like it’s still being built. That’s hilarious.

- Pompey mention!

- What is with all those masks?! How fucking creepy.

- “Where youth plummets, maturity may soar.”

- As someone who hasn’t ever paid any interest in wars, all this undoubtedly historically accurate war talk is super boring.

- Everyone under the sun is named Marcus

- Varinius!! BAHAHAHAHAHAHA oh man, seriously. Just, Brett Tucker is an Aussie actor that has been in basically everything! I can’t take him seriously.

- AND HE FUCKING SAID MONGRELS!

- Seriously this triangle between Ilithyia, Varinius, and Glaber is basically the entire subplot of S2.

- The one thing I get super bored of in Spartacus is men and their egos.

- Mira is literally in the sewers and she’s still a queen.

- Oh hey, the Veteran!

- The kid that says “I will kill many Romans” looks like Tyler Lockwood from Vampire Diaries.

- You can actually see Mira’s face fall when Aurelia comes into view. Like she knows that when Aurelia is around Spartacus can see no one else. It’s not a romantic thing, it’s a Varro thing.

- Agron and Donar bromance, I love it. Almost makes up for Duro’s death, almost.

- The Gauls are mostly comprised of New Zealanders – just an observation.

- I sometimes can’t believe that the gladiators treat the house slaves so poorly and sometimes don’t seem to give a fuck about any slaves still in chains.

- “Rabbits” - I still don’t understand this.

-  Oh, Acer.

-  Yessss Mira!!!!!

- Oh the showdown between the Gauls and the rest of the slaves is so intense and beautifully done.

- I really like that even with the new actor they still put all the same scars on him. Good job.

- Oh gosh. Mira loves Spartacus so much…..and S2 Spartacus clearly cares for her way more than he did in S1, but still. She deserves better.

- “I have proven troublesome to kill.”

- Gah, the thing with Spartacus in S2 is he cares more about killing Romans than protecting the other slaves. At least Mira and even Agron are there to pick up the slack.

- “I hear you wish to command my men.” – when I first heard this I thought it very antagonistic, like the fractions were splitting apart. But it’s more of Spartacus being the head honcho, and Crixus being a General that leads his own fraction but still reports to Spartacus. Warfare is not my thing but I’m learning.

- Yeah, because a curtain is going to give you so much privacy. Everyone can still hear you guys.

- “Did his blood bear fruit?”

- Trebius! Ah!

- Arena games!!! Oh how I miss you!

- Seppia really freaking frustrates me. She is so childish and has no idea the kinds of games she’s playing. She’s a fool.

- Seppius and Seppia are fucking right? That’s what they’re implying? A whole bunch of incest? I wanna hate it but I can see it.

- I don’t understand how the gladiator fights could be boring? Or how Batiatus’ gladiators could have made it more entertaining? You’re still watching two dudes kill each other.

- I haven’t even watch Star Wars but Oenomaus in that cloak gives me Jedi vibes.

- That guy in the alley gives me Pirates of The Caribbean vibes.

-  On one hand whenever I see Oenomaus I’m like “Don’t hurt this precious baby.” But then again “Hell yes baby you kick their asses!”

- Holy shit!!!!!!!!!!! Arm bone through the skin!!!!!!! Shit! Knife through the eye!!!!! Ah! Right through the jaw!!!!! Oenomaus is such a badass!

- Aurelia talking about how much she wants to go back to Janis. Well, you shouldn’t have left him in the first place! Her pride was as foolish as any man’s.

- “That lopsided grin. Eye’s promising mischief. I’ve seen in many times, upon his father.” –seriously my shipper heart. Spartacus loved Varro, it’s canon.

- “I fell to love the crooked bend of Varro's lips long before the man himself.” “As did I.” – IT’S MOTHERFLIPPING CANON I TELL YOU.

- I mean Spartacus can be a kind man when he wants to. He’s just very single minded.

- Gotta give their art department props. Having a fake pregnant woman be naked, and it look real….like damn, they deserve a pat on the back.

- I am loving Ilithyia’s purple gown thing though, wowzah.

- Marcus Crassus mention again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- “She was a fucking bitch” – I find that fucking hilarious.

- Agron said bleat! Goat reference! My shipper heart!

- Wow, Spartacus said “whores” somehow that’s more shocking than anything else on this show.

- I love Agron’s loyalty to Spartacus but I wish Spartacus would see it too. In this season and the next he kind of treats Agron like crap.

- “You had me at whores.” – I love Donar.

- “Avoid unnecessary risk.” Sparty, baby, do you realise who you talking to?!

- Loving the idea of Mira, Donar, and Agron planning behind Spartacus’ back. These are the people who want to protect the other slaves, not spend every day covered in Roman blood.

- “As are all things, in pursuit of a woman.” Gotta love the salty gay trope. Agron pulls it off swimmingly.

- “I will tell Janis of you. Of the man who loved his father above all others.” CANON. I really didn’t ship Spartacus and Varro this much the first time around.

- “I gave my word. Blood and Honour. It yet speaks to the man.” as said in S1.

- Gladiators in hoods is everything!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- Woman with a massive dildo fucking a dude. Yep.

- Oh! I think this is the first penis shots we’ve had in a while.

- Guy on Guy sex. Well then. So much gay sex in this series, it’s glorious.

- The four guys throwing the girl around makes me super fucking uncomfortable, especially when you can hear her. She is so not enjoying this.

- Another memorable death = dude jerking off and just as he’s about to finish, gets a sword through his throat.

- It’s gotta suck so bad for all these guys that are dying with their dicks out. Especially that guy that got a sword right between the legs. Ouch.

- Never noticed but there’s a very very large woman in the whorehouse and a skinny guy on all fours in front of her. I’m so curious about what’s happening there.

- How many innocent body slaves died in this attack???

- Poor boy with cum all over his face.

- Trebius is so fucking disgusting. Peeing all over that girl.

- I get that this girl is probably horrendously traumatized but she really have to go and kill the only lead they had to Naevia.

- AGRON KICKING THE SHIT OUTTA TREBIUS COS HE SOLD HIM AND DURO TO BATIATUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ahh my heart!

- I seriously hate Spartacus in this scene and it kind of tainted him for me. He’s telling Agron that he can’t kill Trebius as revenge for Duro, BUT THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT SPARTACUS IS DOING WITH GLABER! He’s such a fucking hypocrite!

- Crixus sticking his hand inside Trebius’ gut is so gross.

-  I get that Glaber is angry at Ilithyia but she clearly has some PTSD that is triggered by that house and he’s forcing her to stay there. Not cool.

- OVER THE CLIFF!! Yes Ilithyia!

- There’s no logical reason for that mask to be there, except to provoke memories.

- Flashback penis.

-  I never noticed but Ilithyia has a really big mouth.

- I honestly thought the figure was gonna be Spartacus, I was so surprised to see Lucretia.

- Lucretia being out of her freaking mind is magical. All the props to the actress.

- “What fragments her shattered mind yet holds.”

- Seriously, the male ego.

- Old woman slave = headcanon that she ran the whole Battiatus household. Also, that young boy slave is super attractive, how has Agron not noticed this?!?

- “Grab your fucking cock.” – oh wait, maybe he has! Ha!

- Foreshadow of Agron not thinking house/body salves are worth much. Ahhhhhhh how wrong he shall be ;)

- “We knew this day would come” SPARTACUS YOU MADE THIS DAY COME, YOU WROTE A FUCKING MESSAGE! Gah!

- Angry little lost boy. Agron is my fave if you can’t already tell.

-  “That is no longer my title.” – poor baby.

- “There is but one place for an animal without honour.”

- Singleminded Spartacus is one of my least faves.

- I love how they take Lucretia way back to the drought, to before Spartacus killed Theokoles.

- I really love how in this show they show woman with pubic hair, COS IT’S FUCKING NATURAL and women shouldn’t have to shave because society tells them to.

- “Smashed upon the cliffs.” – foreshadowing!

- Argh! This leaning back shit women do during sex scenes on tv annoys the hell outta me. That move is done purely for the male viewers. For the women doing it, it’s really fucking awkward.

-  “You bark as a dominus.” “Sheep stand idle if not prodded by snapping jaw.” – I love Agron and Donar moments.

- “Let us compare teeth and have answer.” – they are basically talking about comparing dick sizes right?????

- Lucretia with dark hair and wearing a purple dress. Goddess.

- “Do not shed fucking tear.”

- Fucking love that Lucretia is the one to spot Spartacus.

- Seppius rolling his eyes at Glaber. Me too, bro, me too.

- Ah the foreshadow of Glaber and Seppia. Yuck.

- The rebels coming to Spartacus’ aid. I love their loyalty.

- Seriously Donar and his axe.

- Agron picking up Aurelia and throwing her over his shoulder. It’s hilarious because she is so freaking tiny compared to him, and also cos he’s super gay and doesn’t understand females at all.

- Lucretia and Crixus seeing each other again is super powerful.

- MIRA with a “fucking Gauls.” Did not see that coming.

-  “Do any of us hold fucking worth to you?”

- Mira’s little rant to Spartacus is all well and good, but did she have to be mean to Agron.

- The Spartacus and Crixus bromance is strong in S2.

- VENGEANCE NAME DROP.

- Agron looks so little, so small and young. My baby.

- I still fucking hate Aurelia.

- I do love that Agron was willing to go and fight Glaber because of Aurelia, someone he didn’t even seem to like at all.Baby’s got a heart.

- THE BEGINNING OF THE REBEL ARMY!!!!!!!!!!!YAAAAAS!

[starsforastro]

part 1  → best friend! sanha

↳ hahahaaaaaahksaldjflajsdfklasdf I thought it would be the greatest idea if i made pt2 to that bff sanha bUT THIS TIME yA’LL ARE DEVELOPING A CRUSH ON EACH OTHER MAN i”M A GENIUSSS

guys this is too cute i’m cringing omg eSP THE LAST PART AHHH

don’t sue me, this is the Classic™ The-Both-Of-You-Had-No-Idea-You-Like-Each-Other type of story

bECAUSE iT FITS

SANHA CAN BE A LITTLE SLOW ABOUT THIS

AND YOU CAN TOO BECAUSE LIKE

no experience,,,,,

pLuS LoVE IS gRoSS

hah

haahhhhhhhhhhhhhh

the first time you sort of changed in Sanha’s eyes was when he caught you in the middle of a volunteer event he couldn’t make to

he couldn’t go because his band had a gig the same night and he had to practice

but the other boys decided to walk to the nearest froyo place

which just so happened to pass the park where you were volunteering at

so as he scanned the people milling around the small fun fair, he caught sight of you plopped right in the middle of all these toddlers and five-year olds laughing and covered in glitter, glue, googly eyes and silly string

where the silly string came from, he doesn’t know

(from your other friend working at some other booth)

aND BOY DID HE TURN SOFT

kids were hanging off of you, walking up to you to ask how to make a certain craft, and you had the biggest smile on your face

laksjdflkasdflad

it definitely didn’t go unnoticed by the other boys

jinjin and rocky decided to spare him and just looked at each other, made a face and continued walking

bin barked a high pitched laugh and ran after rockjin in giggles

BUT MJ AND EUNWOO AIN’T HAVING ANY OF IT

poor sanha didn’t even notice the other’s shenanigans

as he’s unconsciously watching you, a soft smile spread across his features

this lovestruck boy

mJ SAW THAT AND SCREAMED

THAT’S WHEN SANHA FINALLY BROKE HIS GAZE

(eunwoo got a picture of that Soft Smile™ tho)

plus a couple of bystanders looked at the commotion that was mj’s squealing and sanha’s protests that nothing happened

“DON’T LIE TO ME, I SAW EVERYTHING!” mj screamed

“nO nONONONO HYUNG YOU’RE WRONG”

eunwoo’s just cackling in the corner

“YOU LIKE Y/MMMGJHHMMM”

sanha clamped his hand on the eldest’s mouth and dragged him away

you sort of just watched all of that in amusement when you noticed the kids turning their attention to the noise, not understanding any of it

“HI SANHA! HI  MJ!” you called out, waving your hand in the air

sanha’s grip on mj slackened as he was caught off guard, eyes widening

mj laughed and grabbed eunwoo’s hand before sanha ran after them

sanha sulked the entire time to and from the froyo place

and completely forgot about the incident during the gig that night

as for you and your view of sanha,,,,

unfortunately began developing when one of your friends said she likes sanha

you were 100% supportive!!

well, 99.90%

that .10% was because it’s  s an h a

gross :P

so ya kno

life goes on

ya’ll still bffffsssss

and one day when you and your friends were just hanging out at your house

he comes over

with plums from his mom’s plum tree

because she told him to bring it over

so when you opened the door,

he shoved the box into your face, making you flinch and him laughing obnoxiously

“SANHA”

“here you go, plums from our tree~”

your face brightens because their plums are super sweet and delicious and you just take the box and “omg yes thanks sanha <3”

BOI HE TURNED SOFT SAVE HIM PLEASE

so he’s just smiling dorkily like “you’re welcome”

you don’t notice ofc bc sanha’s always weird

you smiled back and a happy feeling bloomed across your chest

little did you know all your friends were giggling into their hands at your interactions

so when he unknowingly danced off the porch when you closed the door

all your friends waited until he disappeared and pandemonium erupted

“YO”

“YO”

“YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO”

“HE LIKES YOU”

“YOU LIKE HIM”

“YOU TWO ARE SO CUTE”

you’ve heard this before and was not amused

“why can’t we just be bes-”

“YOU KNOW THAT’S THE MOST RIDICULOUS EXCUSE EVER”

“WHY IS IT THAT IN THE STORIES, BEST FRIENDS ALWAYS FALL IN LOVE?”

“BECAUSE THEY’RE STORIES”

you noticed your friend who had a crush on sanha sitting their quietly and your face fell

“um,”

she looked up and smiled weakly, knowing exactly what you were gonna ask

“yeah I liked him, but it’s so obvious he doesn’t have any interest in me and… idk, it’s cliche, but he likes you (y/n).”

“even if he doesn’t know it yet”

and for that coming from her?

you couldn’t sleep for three days

so as life stilllll passseddd

and nothing changed too much

except for the nagging feeling in the back of both of your minds every time you hung out

which is all the time

you kept being best friends

roaming seoul

swinging your hands violently

pigging out on french fries

reenacting Singing in the Rain with streetlights when you walk down a more quiet street

falling asleep on each other when he and astro had late night practices and stayed back in the studio

fretting about homework

“hey sanha did you do the english home—”

“OH SHOOT WE HAD ENGLISH HOMEWORK?”

it’s just

you don’t remember him being that endearing

he’s usually a little sht

and did you always yearn for him?

like ofc you’d find any opening to just talk to him

but now you actually can’t stop thinking?/?kldjsalfja//ALAkdsFS???

aHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

GROSS

even when senior year homecoming came around,

and sanha asked you out by jokingly singing to you in tHE HALLWAYS

WITH HIS GUITAR

TO ASK YOU TO THE DANCE

he was a dork about it don’t worry, nothign serious

the both of you thought  n o t h i n g  o f  i t

just bursting into giggles when sanha finished his song with a bag of french fries from the diner

and while everyone was swooning

you two were lost in your own world, making jokes about ways he could’ve asked better

it didn’t even cross your mind once that a month or so ago,, sanha was gushing about his crush

so why didn’t he ask them?

fast forward to the dance, the two of you spent half the time on the dancefloor, the other half walking around the school, just talking

cue the cliche where the both of you heard a loud crash somewhere nearby and grabbed the other for dear life

heartbeats pressed against each other,

his head buried in your neck

and when nothing appeared

you slowly pried yourself out of each other’s arms

and your eyes caught

then your breathing hitched because--

was he always this handsome?

guys this is too cliche omg, ya pretty much knows what’s gonna happen

your friends run down the hallways screaming to you that the homecoming royals are gonna be announced

and since sanha’s on the court

they yanked him down to the gym

sorta leaving you in the dust to take in what just happened

the friend who used to like sanha?

she smiled and gave you a wink before rushing after the stampede

leaving you a blushing mess in the middle of the dimming night

things really changed one day when sanha walked into a cafe with his other friends from the school’s Overwatch Club and thERE YOU WERE, PERFORMING?

like what????#!@!? he knew you asked for him to teach you guitar from time to time

but you aCTUALLY KNOW HOW TO PLAY NOW? WHAT?

he froze in the cafe’s doorway and his friends had to shove him to move

he couldn’t keep his eyes off you

but in the way that was because he’s shocked

cuz you two always broke out singing

and it wasn’t that your voice was bad or anything

it’s just your range isn’t too great

y e t  y o u  s o u n d  a m a z i n g

and he’s sorta freaking out

like his heart started to race and all that sappy stuff

and he was like alksfja wtf

so he actually decided it would be better to choose a seat facing away from you

yet his friends took all those seats first and now he’s stuck with a seat giving him a completely full view of you

let’s just say he just spaced out

never removing his gaze from you

that is, , until his friend elbowed him in the ribs with a ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

“ohhohohohhhh san haaaaaaaaaaaaaa, don’t tell me you’re falling for you bff now, are you?”

heat immediately rushed to sanha’s face and his friends burst out cackling

oh no

sanha tried to be subtle about it, but this boy can never really keep his emotions in check

and you’d notice the second too long gazes and brushes against your arm

and your friends are pointing it out

and you’re like

no

NO

ya’ll being extra and that’s wrong

poor sanha’s heart was always ready to burst whenever he’s with you now

but to make sure nothing changes this friendship the both of you treasure so much

you don’t do anything about it

never bringing it up

nor acting on feelings

especially shoving embarrassing moments to the back of your mind

it wasn’t too hard

because you two were still screaming about everything

but……..

prom rolls around

and you were asked by someone

he was asked by someone else

:))))

the Classic

you wanted to just hang out with your best friend,,,

but you had your date

and he has his

but every time you caught his eye from across the room?

you’ll make a face and he’ll laugh

throwing one back

so it wasn’t too bad

it was just you two goofing off again

so when prom ended

and your date’s parents picked them up

you stood in front of the venue, waiting for your parents

happy, exhausted, and maybe slightly disappointed you couldn’t spend prom with your best friend, but had fun nonetheless

as you studied the lights of the city

sanha snuck up to you and

“BOO”

you swung around the punched him in the gut

“(Y/N)!”

“YOU’RE THE ONE WHO SCARED ME”

he just laughed and settled to standing next to you as you waited for your parents

………..

“you had fun?”

“yeah….. you?”

“yeah. my date is pretty cool.”

“really?”

“they know how to dance—unlike someone”

asdfjlkasdf “excuse you”

his pretty laugh rang out again

you stole a couple of glances at him here and there and,,, when he finally caught you, a completely innocent face on him, wordlessly asking “is there something on my face?”

cocking his head cutely

which made the streetlights frame him like a halo

and his eyes sparkled

and that’s when you knew

you’ve fallen in love with your best friend

[whalefairyfandom12]

Your Love's a Fucking Drag (But I Need it So Bad)

Summary: Dan likes black and leather jackets, Phil likes reading in solitude and playing video games. But they have one thing in common as new roommates at uni: They are both completely straight. Just because they like to get each other off every once in a while doesn’t make it any different.

A/N: We've been writing this fic for over a year now and it's strange to think this is the last time we'll be doing this. Thank you so much for all of your support and we hope you enjoy the final chapter <33

Masterpost

Chapter Nine

 *picks up after “true bros swallow” from chapter seven

-

don’t judge me makila

I’m 110% judging right now smh no homo just bromo

I came here to have a good time and im honestly feeling so attacked rn

Not as attacked as Dan’s cock amiright

STOP THIS IMMEDIATELy

...That's what he said and then Phil made him

My mind is literally blank rn jfc i have absolutely no comebacks whatsoever

On a scale of one to Dan’s mind during orgasm from a brojob how blank?

Like dan’s mind during orgasm and then some

Yet somehow Phil Lester’s lips aren't involved. I think he got the better deal, really. Also cuddles after

Im jealous of dan i want phil lester’s cuddles :<

I swear to god we sound so ace right now 100 to 0 real fast

*writes sex scene* “Wow i cant wait to cuddle the fuck out of phil” 100% ace

Seriously though Phil probably gives some of the best cuddles imaginable I'm jealous

My friend met him and she said he gives the best hugs out of anyone she’s ever met

You know what fuck Phan I'm stealing Phil for myself

“Hi do u have any philxreader fics” dats u

“I don't want the yang wang dang just the hugging”

Im fucking pissing myself im hilarious

I think my mom just heard that snort

Im literally laughing so hard and my dogs started barking bc of it christ i need sleep

Jesus Christ has very little to do with this conversation, trust me ;)))))))))))))

I hope he isn’t too mad that i started involving him in our crimes

We’re all going to hell anyway, what's one more crime really

Imagine if jesus went to hell with us JESUS READS TOO MUCH GAY PORN

“So what was your punishment?”

“I liked sucking cocks too”

“Same. Only bros?”

“True bros swallowed. Dat was me.”

Jeezy wheezy (sry i cant type wow) thats amazing and i had something to say but i dont REMEMBER

They say losing your memory this early means you're definitely screwed and damned to hell

I mean we already knew i was going to hell so whats the difference

I've spent my evening reading gay porn stars AU instead of studying that ship has sailed

Porn star aus are the best thing ever no ragerts

“Ragerts”-Rachel, 2016

The sin has clouded your thoughts

Im gonna get that tattooed on me “no ragerts”

You can say not only were you extremely drunk when you got it you were also drunk when you thought it up. A win win

“How did you get that tattoo??” “Well im always drunk man”

“Drunk on gay smut and memes”

I read too much about bros swallowing loads

You need to fire your autocorrect and get a better one

Im on my computer so looks like i just have to fire my brain

Our wordcount has upped significantly can we just keep this here. “Now presenting a short intermission from your writers”

Oh my god when we upload the last chapter (whenever the fuck that will be jesus christ what are we doing with this story) we should post this

Imagine the day when our inboxes will no longer be filled with messages of “WHEN THE FUCK IS THE NEXT CHAPTER OF YLAFD GOING TO BE UP??????”

That’s the day that the earth will truly implode

See the real question is who’s going to store all these screenshots on their camera roll? Forfeit those sick GBs

I can screenshot them on my computer hahaha

Way to ruin the moment Rachel wooooooow :(((((((( That was so low not even Dan could recover (get it because he’s a bottom? I'm so tired smh)

Sorry bro (*insert lenny face here bc im too lazy to do that*) i hope dans proud of me

He knows it's just about bros doing bro things I'm sure he’d fully endorse our fics. (And let’s be honest, I'll bet you one hundred dollars this hasn't happened to him at least once)

Oh him and phil have d e f i n i t el I GIVE UP fucked

Which will come out first? Dan Howell or Sherlock’s next season? YO MAMA’S SO FAT BY THE TIME SHE TURNS AROUND DAN HOWELL CAME OUT!!!!!1!

JESUS CHriST “How many licks does it take for dan howell to come out?” “The world may never know”

Oh he’ll be coming all right *insert lenny face*

HE’LL BE COMING AROUND THE MOUNTAIN WHEN HE COMES

╚═( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)═╝╚═(███)═╝╚═(███)═╝.╚═(███)═╝..╚═(███)═╝…╚═(███)═╝…╚═(███)═╝..╚═(███)═╝.╚═(███)═╝╚═(███)═╝.╚═(███)═╝..╚═(███)═╝…╚═(███)═╝…╚═(███)═╝…..╚(███)╝……╚(██)╝………(█)……….*

WHAT THE FUCK MAKILA NO the human centipede lol

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ POOP

Ur enjoying urself aren’t u

FIGHT ME (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง (what? I don't have an entire wall of lenny’s saved to my notes for this very purpose that would be ridiculous haha ha ha ha…)

Usually when i use a lenny face i go back and copy it from one of my friend’s text messages so ALL THE JUDGEMENT HERE UR FIRED

AT LEAST LENNY STILL LOVES ME 
( ͡°╭͜ʖ╮͡° )ᕤ holy shit we broke 14k yay us #rakilaftwrioolymipcs2k16

(ʘ‿ʘ✿) we literally broke 14k because we wrote an entire essay about how much of a meme we are (why is this a different color text wtf)

All better. The perfectionist in me is satisfied.

Im proud of you makkypoo

BU-BUT SENPAIIIIIIII REALLY????? JU-JUST ME???????

JUST U MACKLEMORE (i think im so funny)

Macklemore I'm dying (right and Phil’s dating Dan. Oh wait)

I think your nickname is no longer makila but instead macklemore

Once we release these screenshots it will be THANKS RACHEL UR FIRED NOW

BUT ): A KOUHAI CANT HIRE THEIR SENPAIIIIIIII (also i hope you start getting messages about macklemore now)

WOW I FEEL SO LOVED :,(((((((((( a single man tear

A man tear… like uh i dont have a fucking comeback im So TIRED LIKE UR MUMS MAN TEAR

THE NERVE!!!!!!!!!1!1! WELL YOUR MUM’S MAN TEAR IS SO UNMANLY NOT EVEN DAN WOULD THINK IT WAS ATTRACTIVE SO THERE BITE ME

Cuz we all know dan thinks every man tear is attractive rip to dan’s heart (and his sexuality)

“Here lies Dan’s heterosexuality and heteronormativity. It will be sorely--screw it no it won't.”

Dan’s heterosexuality&heteronormativity,,, June 10, 1991 - Today (what is today) August 20, 2016

“We gather to celebrate with smut and Lenny human centipedes.” I need sleep so badly right now smh I'm dead tomorrow

GO TO SLEEP (honestly i do too i have to wake up early to move back to uni rip)

I will if you do. A bro pact. (A broct? Pacbro?)

Just… stop right there LOL lets form a broct(?) and just brosleep it out

I hope Phil brohugs you bro

Thanks bro i hope phil brocuddles u my dude, my bro

Aw you mean it bro? U r always there for me, man, I luv u u r like a brother to me, bro

Bro… oh my god bro, that’s the broest thing anyones ever said to me… i love u bro.. Like bromantically

Not as much as I platonically 110% heterosexually love u bro. Just bromo tho no homo

That’s the new phrase of this fic “just bromo, no homo”

*deletes summary and changes it to that* seriously why aren't we sleeping GO TO BED RAKILA

OKAY IM GONNA ACTUALLY SLEEP NOW CUZ WE NEED IT

NIGHT BRO DON’T LET THE FIREFLIES BITE MAN

NIGHT TO U TOO BROKILA DONT LET TO BRO BUGS BITE