#BAD COMBO THEY GOT ME FUCKED UP

[poughkeepsies]

already dealing with the knowledge that buck is dead right now and then having that gay ass still of buddie's poker date shoved in my face has done irreparable damage to my brain is this what mixing alcohol and opiates feels like

[vardasvapors]

do people have recommendations for good bits of writing on vengeance/revenge/vengeful dispositions/cultures of vengeance?

context being that, i’m someone who has an extremely vengeful disposition that comes with revenge fantasies and desires that never ever fade if i don’t act on them—unlike all received wisdom, for me there is no ‘control yourself until the vengeful impulse fades, don’t do something in the heat of the moment’ sort of experience. either i remain with a desire for revenge for a grievance for years or decades (and collect more over time steadily without any of them ever dissipating), or i take revenge in some way (very occasionally this is satisfying, more likely i convert the vengefulness for the unavenged grievance into regret or guilt or shame over the action i took, this is usually worse than stewing in vengefulness which is why i don’t do it often but knowing it��s worse doesn’t have any impact on the preoccupation with feelings of vengefulness/fantasies of revenge, also even if it’s worse it’s at least different so sometimes i will give in just out of being too sick of having some particular unavenged-grievance hanging over me).

and i want some sort of defamiliarizing detailed analysis of the psychology and nuances of it that i can apply to myself, or see myself in, or both. i guess. something that can make the vengefulness feel absurd or abstracted or alien or whatever enough to sometimes just fade with time or be successfully let go of. or something.

[dreamersneverlose]

Okay no you know what? I’ve held my tongue on this for long enough (everyone in my life knows my opinion on this topic) - I have a very deep beef with chain restaurants changing their soft pretzels as if that isn’t a direct personal attack against me, specifically. First it was Applebees beer cheese and pub pretzels like 5 years ago. They used to look like this:

Long, skinny, look like they’d be dry as fuck but they were soft on the inside with a delightfully crisp exterior and the beer cheese was DIVINE. This is what they replaced it with:

This switch happened around the same time Applebees added breadsticks w/ Alfredo dipping sauce to their list of appetizers. When I tell you that these things are just straight up the breadsticks with a spray tan. I’m not sure if the breadstick flavor made the beer cheese taste like Alfredo, if they mistakenly gave me Alfredo sauce, or if they straight up replaced the beer cheese with Alfredo sauce. I can tell you that I tried it at two different locations (hoping the second would have the old ones) and then swore off Applebees forever.

But you wanna know a recent, even more heinous soft pretzel betrayal? Monk’s Bar & Grill. I don’t think I’ll even have to explain this one. Here’s the old pretzel option:

And here’s what they replaced it with:

They don’t even salt these bland, dry, cheap bites. Monks, how could you?

I hope Culver’s doesn’t get any wise ideas from these chumps.

[skeletons-in-ur-closet]

hnnnngmmmmmm kermit scrunch face...i cant think abt my childhood for too long if i dont wanna be angry

[jikigo]

you ever just see a post and just

. 😭

.⬅️🫀⬅️

[skrunksthatwunk]

fuck that last fight against nightmare boooooo this shit is actually so stupid and evil and i don't like it >:(

[c0rpsedemon]

no one has my back the way the guy at the local boba place has my back

[mifunebooty]

Happy one year anniversary to one of the biggest mental breakdowns of my life That made me see i have to start changing my life to better myself and my relationships with others by being responsible for my mental illness upkeep and stop living for others and live for me and now im taking film and theatre classes with a job on the side and have a short movie to my credit

[harrylights]

ok not posting pics now bc no one will see it but my outfit fuckimg popped off tonight all 3 drag performers i saw complimented me on it either before or after the show and i am definitely letting that go to my gay little head 😌🌈

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[starryetoile]

went from crying at the idea of my girlfriend being high around me to having her bring me gummies in a flavor i like

[phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess]

Car insurance

Necessary, but when it comes around its a hit to the old bank account

esp when it comes in two sections, one after the other, and you're also paying household insurance monthly

ugh, adulthood

[snekdood]

idc if ppl think im problematic i just want it to be for the actual real reasons i am

[giantkillerjack]

Not a problem just say it anyway but preface it with some variation of "so I know this was like 5 conversation topics ago, but I'm gonna say it anyway so I can get it out of my brain"

#AutismWinsYetAgain

Or, "Okay I know I'm late saying this, but sometimes I take longer to speak, and so I'm gonna say it anyway."

#AnotherPointForTeamTism

Or, "If it's okay, I just thought of something I wanted to say about the previous topic, and then once I've said it, my brain will move on."

#AllismFansCryingInTheStands

Or, "Ah. I finally figured out what I was going to say in response to what Alisha said. I was gonna say, '______'. Thank you for bearing with me even when I take longer to talk sometimes."

#NoApologiesJustAutismBaby

Or, "Real quick, not ignoring what Brody just said, but I wanted to say _____ in response to what Alisha said. Okay, thank you now I can focus. Here's what I think about what Brody said:"

[NOTE: If Brody just shared something deeply vulnerable and personal, then this response might come off as dismissive to him. In which case you might need to hold on to your comment.]

#AutismCleanSweep

Or, "Hey, allistic social rules are frequently arbitrary and needlessly complicated, and if my interjection here seems a little awkward, then I trust you guys to understand that sometimes I will communicate in a way you are not used to because I trust that you really want me to be able to communicate too because you are good kind people that I appreciate. I also would like to point out that if I am not hurting anyone by being kind of awkward, then treating me like I'm doing real harm is a real judgmental asshole thing to do. - Anyway, here's what I think about that shit Alisha said like 5 minutes ago because I am an unstoppable being of light who cares naught for the needless trappings of precise social protocol that serves no one, and I intend to reroute the conversation back to Brody's point afterwards so he feels included too."

#OkayDontSayThatOneButYouGetTheIdea

----

P.S. If the people you are talking to are acting like dicks to you, that this is not your fault as awkwardness is not inherently harmful, but shaming and excluding people for harmless awkwardness very much is a harmful thing to do.

It isn't your fault when other people choose to be unkind to you, and it isn't your fault if finding a group of kind and non-judgmental people is actually really hard or is just not possible for you right now.

You are still allowed to mourn the loneliness, RSD, fear, and pain that social anxiety due to autism can cause. You are valid for feeling those things because your feelings are important.

You are also valid if none of the stuff I said appeals to you at all. Since every person and every social interaction are in some way unique, there are very few pieces of social advice that are actually universally applicable. What I have said simply may not fit for your circumstances, and that is okay.

I just saw "autism won today", and I started thinking about all the ways a more autistic approach to that situation might actually "win." So I drew on all the times this has happened to me and the responses I've used that people seem to like and accept.

It is genuinely stunning to me how much allistic people's typical way of interacting can cause both them and us enormous stress and confusion for the sake of completely smooth social interactions. (Just look at the social protocols for dating! You're not supposed to say anything out loud, and it's terrible! Which is one reason I mainly end up dating autistics who just SAY THE THING THEY WANT.)

"Smooth" is so overrated. Some people need to learn what a little texture looks like!!

#AutismForeverBabyyyyy

i think its so awesome when you were gonna say somethin in a conversation but you took too long to speak up & someone else says somethin first that renders your unspoken contribution obsolete but your brain wont recalibrate so instead of moving on like a normal person you just get all sad about it #autismwontoday

[falling-hand-in-unlovable-hand]

i'm so tired of fucking dealing with people today. i'm the only one awake in my house rn and somehow i'm still dealing with people

[eyepatchdate]

ok. ngl. you HAVE to do the stupid freight train map on robin and like. i worked a little on it. managed to get 26k points (you need 32k). and like. the map is a nightmare, especially with keyboard+mouse. holding a combo is impossible when your character will just MISS all the time because of how the sidescrolling works. keyboard+mouse players are VERY dependent on camera control, so taking that away and making it like. a camera you cannot control and a camera that makes it HARD TO SEE. is like. terrible.

i was very proud of my 26k but thats only 2 medals and like. it was just. not going to happen anytime soon unless i suddenly swapped to controller and re-taught myself the game. and like. fuck that.

so i used wemod and cheated the first round so that i basically started with 30k points. then turned wemod off and did the rest, lol.