#upset) of my special meal that i have as very reliable and something i enjoy a lot that got made literally yesterday night

[falling-hand-in-unlovable-hand]

i'm so tired of fucking dealing with people today. i'm the only one awake in my house rn and somehow i'm still dealing with people

[unmanageable-day]

Come to me

masterlist

previous chapter: 23

PART 24 - next

Summary. After what happened in a relationship in the past, you found it difficult to trust someone with the gentleman image. ‘Gentleman’ seems like merely a concept and it was probably impossible for someone to be a genuine one. Now that you’re stuck with the number one gentleman at campus for a group project, how would you cope with the one and only Joshua Hong?

Genre. College!au, non-idol!au / friends to lover

Pairing. Joshua x y/n x S.Coups

WC / warnings. 1.4k / grammar error because my english is deteriorating

a/n: now that i realized, i barely mention jun, seungkwan, and chan in this au :”

TAGLIST.  @samemagicpoint​​ @unravellyn​​ @nonuuu​​ @seventeeneration​​ @skylions-den​​​ @wooziverse​​​ @infinitemoods​​ @haoraecane​​​ @sunflowergyeomie​ @flower0930​ —  [ send ask or dm if you’re interested to be added in the list! 🖤 ]

The long awaited Saturday had finally come. Jeonghan got up early to prepare brunch, and especially for today, he set the table more prettily than the usual. Even a small bouquet was put on the table. A soothing jazzy instrumental was also playing vaguely in the background. Unfortunately, the lunch today was the most inconvenient meal they had ever since the three of them decided to become housemates. There was nothing can be heard except the quiet munching and the clinking sound of the chopsticks and spoons against their bowls.

"Because I'm being nice today, I will do all the dishes. While waiting, you two may enjoy tiramisu for dessert. I put it in the fridge. Sojung specially bought it for us," Jeonghan said as he cleared up the table.

Again, the boys were eating in silence while Jeonghan washed the dishes. Joshua and Seungcheol didn't seem to mind the high tension hanging in the air. Jeonghan sighed in frustration as he joined back to the dining table. He positioned himself in the middle, while Joshua and Seungcheol was across each other.

"Really, I don't understand you sometimes." None of his housemates responded. Rolling his eyes, he brushed his hair vigorously. "Okay, let's start our important meeting. I, Yoon Jeonghan will be your moderator today. Neither Minghao nor Wonwoo could join us for this occasion. So, I hope we can be as civil as possible. Jisoo, Seungcheol, you will only talk when I let you and you may not interrupt each other."

At this point, both Joshua and Seungcheol still kept their mouths shut. And Jeonghan was not happy. "Say yes if you understand," he barked.

A sloppy yes escaped from Joshua's lips.

"Seungcheol?"

"Yes, I understand."

"Alright. Jisoo, you can start. You may ask, or just simply tell us how you feel." He turned to Seungcheol who was fidgeting with his hands. "As I said, Seungcheol, no interrupting. And you may answer if Jisoo asks you."

Joshua inhaled deeply before he began. During this 5 year friendship, he had witnessed Seungcheol being strict even to himself when it comes to work. As friends, he would give suggestions that make sense and even critics or bitter truths when he had to. Of course, Joshua experienced fighting with him too, but that was when they were younger and it was over something that is not bigger than who can use the bathroom first.

"Seungcheol, you and Y/N.. Have you been seeing each other? Like regularly?" he began calmly, then paused for a second, gulping nervously. "Or, officially?"

Unconsciously, Seungcheol had been holding his breath since Joshua spoke. His hands were tightly holding onto his glass of water. For the first time, the strong and reliable Choi Seungcheol, the oldest in his peers, could not look at Joshua in the eyes. "Yes.." he muttered.

Instead of Joshua, Jeonghan was quicker to react and he almost shrieked Seungcheol's name as he was shocked to hear his short answer.

The oldest immediately corrected himself, "No, I mean not officially. But regularly."

Jeonghan cleared his throat. "Seungcheol, please define regularly."

"No need to, Jeonghan," said Joshua calmly. "Since when?"

"Since you were assigned for Big Hit." He tried to read Joshua's response which showed no facial expression changes. "No. Maybe even way before that."

"May I ask why?" asked Joshua again.

Flustered, Seungcheol cautiously glanced at Jeonghan and see how he reacted. Jeonghan locked his eyes to him, as if words could come out of his eyes. Seungcheol nervously bit his lower lips. It wasn't that long ago since Jeonghan and Seungcheol talked about this after that night. He can't say the same thing he said to Vernon and Jeonghan, that Joshua didn't have a chance, can he? He didn’t want to be scolded again by Jeonghan, moreover in front of Joshua this time.

Seungcheol was contemplating in his head. "Uh.. Because it looks like you're not getting anywhere with her." His brain worked so hard to arrange words so that it wouldn't sound too harsh. Or else, Jeonghan would definitely get him.

Hearing his answer, Joshua couldn't even deny it. It was true after all. “You know what? You’re right,” he trailed off, his eyes were fixated on the leftover tiramisu. “But what makes you think it’s okay for you to attempt going closer to her?”

Seungcheol remained silent.

"Look, I know you like her too. Then I have my right to be upset to see you with her, right? I've always been jealous that you're much closer with her. But now that I'm thinking about it, I guess it’s partially my fault too. I'm mad at myself. If only I can make myself more trustworthy for her. It's been months and she can't even make herself comfortable around me. And I still don’t know why."

Knowing the reason, Seungcheol was reluctant to tell him that he knew something. But being glared at by Jeonghan made him shudder. “I think you should ask her yourself,” he said slowly. “I’ll give you a hint; it’s your image.”

“My image? What do you mean?” In his head, the amount of nicknames he heard from campus were coming back and forth. Gentleman, Mr. Nice Guy, angelic smile, angel voice, Bambi eyes, and many more. And he didn’t even know why people gave him these labels.

“That’s not my story to tell,” Seungcheol stated firmly.

At this answer, Jeonghan nodded understandingly although he was also curious what could be your reason that Seungcheol knew.

“But... that’s also if she wants to tell you, or if she wants to see you,” Seungcheol continued, making Jeonghan widened his eyes in disbelief. What again this time? Jeonghan cursed internally.

Apparently Joshua was triggered as well. “Why wouldn’t she want to see me? We go to the same uni, same classes, and now same office,” he retorted in confusion. “I literally see her everyday in the office.”

“Yeah, but with the rumor about you and that colleague of yours? What’s her name again, Siyoung?”

This time Joshua’s bambi eyes got wider as he furrowed his brows. “You mean Siyeon? Wait, how do you know Siyeon?”

“Who’s Siyeon? Shua, are you seeing someone and you didn’t tell me?” Jeonghan asked, a bit accusing his best buddy.

“No!” Joshua snapped. “She’s just a co-worker. There is nothing going on— wait, did you just say rumor? What rumor, and why do I not know about it?”

For the first time, Seungcheol raised his head and found Joshua’s eyes. “Why do you think Y/N was so upset when you didn’t make it to the sushi bar?”

Joshua went silent as he tried to recall that day. He did went out with his team members, including this Siyeon girl. He had to go to Siyeon’s house because some files were accidentally carried out when she went home that particular week. The day after that he also worked very closely with her because she was new. And apparently, many things following that day that were related to Siyeon.

So that’s why Aron’s friend mentioned about Y/N saying I should continue to be partnered with Siyeon throughout this whole project. So that’s why she thought I was supposed to work with Siyeon.. Silently, Joshua face-palmed himself as he grunted.

“Hey, you okay? Is there something you want to tell us?” Jeonghan nudged him.

Sighing heavily, Joshua brushed his fringe backwards. “No. I’ll just find a way to talk to her.”

Jeonghan nodded. “Seungcheol?”

"Jisoo, I owe you an apology. Not because I like her. It's because I shouldn't have done it behind your back. If we have to be rivals, everything should be fair and square."

Joshua was honestly not surprised by his answer. "You're not going to back off, huh?"

"I was. But I don’t think I can stop myself," Seungcheol said in hesitation. But he meant every word he said.

“Choi Seungcheol!” Jeonghan raised his voice again at the oldest, even louder this time. "What are you thinking?!”

“Hey, calm down,” said Joshua, his hand reached to Jeonghan’s arm and squeezed it lightly. Both of them knew that Seungcheol was a man with strong willing. But when it comes to feelings, romantic relationship and friends, Jeonghan just wished he would prioritize friends. Moreover this time, it involved Joshua in a so-called love triangle in which Joshua was at disadvantaged position.

“Okay, I will back off,” Seungcheol slowly uttered, looking deep into Joshua’s eyes. “The day when she chooses you over me and anybody else, I will back off.”

bonus

[viralhottopics]

Anthony Bourdain: I put aside my psychotic rage, after many years being awful to cooks

The chef and author on encountering vichyssoise aged nine, practical jokes with his sous chef, and learning to take food less seriously

I worked in a restaurant where the house speciality was mutton chops, soeverything reeked of fat, penetrating every pore, follicle and piece of clothing, as if Id been rolling around in sheep guts. It was the first thing I smelled in the morning and the last at night. But I didnt have any friends outside the business. Its one of the reasons chefs hang with each other who else will love our smells?

As a youngster, in New Jersey, I was fed normal pedestrian American home cooking meatloaf and hamburgers although I do recall a copy of Julia Childs Mastering the Art of French Cooking high up on the refrigerator and how on special nights, when guests visited and mysterious adult stuff went on downstairs, the powerful smell of scallops with mushrooms in white wine sauce (Coquilles St Jacques) drifted upstairs.

At the age of nine, I went on the Queen Mary being served vichyssoise, a word I loved for my first trip to France, where boys were allowed watered-down wine and cigarettes on Sundays. But our parents left me and my little brother in the car outside La Pyramide (in Vienne), while they dined inside. I reacted by requesting oysters and dishes they found repulsive and becoming increasingly adventurous in my tastes. It wasnt about the food but about getting a reaction.

I only became happy in fact, intensely satisfied as a dishwasher at a restaurant in Provincetown in Cape Cod, my first job. I was a shy, goofy, awkward teenager. But in this blue collar, factory-like environment, there was no blurred line, no grey area, no philosophical question to fret over. Dishes had to go in the washer and come out taintless and doing this swiftly and competently meant I was acknowledged as a human being by colleagues I wanted to be like. The day they promoted me to dunking fries I was overjoyed.

It was watching chef Bobby screwing a bride over a barrel in the garbage area, while her wedding party dined inside, that made me want to be a chef. But it was awkward and didnt make sense. It was the first time Id seen anyone having sex and I didnt understand the brides motivation. Although I understand it very well now.

The line cook I especially respected was Beth Aretsky, aka The Grill Bitch; a very sturdy, hard, capable, profane woman at a time when there werent many women in the kitchen. When a Moroccan chef felt her ass she grabbed and spun him, then dry-humped him brutally over a cutting board. Like many early women in the business she was twice as tough as the men. Despite how she bossed us, wed go to her often crying for advice and support when having trouble with girlfriends. She wasnt having any of that either.

The crew at Marios restaurant spoke in this fantastic polyglot language incorporating Portuguese fishing dialect, Elizabethan poetry and Marine Corp profanities. And it was with Marios Dmitri such an influence on my career that I formed Moonlight Menus and created elaborate banquets for pizza magnates and drug dealers. When Dmitri designed tableaus on the sides of hams he did so with a dry, fantastic, acidic and self-punishing wit. He made fun of his propensity towards failure and disappointment, often, but he was a very creative, skilled and bright guy, who was different than anybody else Id met and very inspiring. Some of it was impressive for its time. I mean, no one else was doing pt en croute and huge galantines in aspic, elaborate chaud-froid presentations and Marie-Antoine Carme and Auguste Escoffier-era set pieces in 1975. Nobody. (Although if Daniel Boulud, whos since done these things, saw the quality I dont think he would be dazzled or impressed by our technique, to put it kindly.)

The mafia were everywhere back then. But now you have to look for them. The Racketeering & Corrupt Organisation Act which meant any member of an organisation could be prosecuted for the same crime as the leader of that organisation restricted the crime families involvement in the fish and meat markets. And were reaching the shallow end of the gene pool in a lot of these families the sons are all cokeheads and dont have the same values as their dads. The restaurant world aint what it used to be.

Steven Moore, my sous chef during the 90s, was the best one for practical jokes. If someone only put a potato in his shoe, hed remove the door from their locker and fill it high with porn mags. (Sometimes he used to arrive at work with sperm on his shoes.) I still appreciate that he had no shame whatsoever an admirable quality, of sorts. But Ive no connection with him now, since it is my belief that he sold a dick pic of me to the gossip site TMZ.

Im proud that in the last few years as a professional chef, however upset I was with staff, wed still be able to have a beer together at the end of the night, without ill-will. Id put aside my psychotic rage, after many years being awful to line cooks, abusive to waiters, bullying to dishwashers. Its terrible and counter-productive to make people feel idiots for working hard for you. Nowadays I still have a rather withering ability to be sarcastic and displeased but Im not screaming at anyone.

I was an unhappy soul, with a huge heroin and then crack problem. I hurt, disappointed and offended many, many, many people and I regret a lot. Its a shame I have to live with.

I like to hear music while I cook, but nothing too headbangy any more. Curtis Mayfield, Marvin Gaye, pre-disco funk, Isaac Hayes and Brothers Johnson and Im happy.

If I examine my body now, nude in the mirror, theres not too much damage to be seen. The burns, flesh marks and knife scars prevalent 14 years ago, before I moved into TV, have mostly faded. The damage sustained from handling lobsters and shrimp the inflammations and skin rashes have improved with time. My hands are pretty soft. My right hand is mangled with arthritis, from holding a whisk improperly for so many years, causing calluses to push bones out of joint. But Im in much better shape than Ive probably ever been. I travel 250 days a year. Im lean, my alcohol bloat has gone and I do Brazilian jiu-jitsu every day.

As I get older my tastes become simpler. The foods that make me reliably happy, that have a real emotional appeal, are a simple bowl of regional pasta, spicy noodles sold in Vietnam, or anybodys grandmothers meatloaf.

Its a lethal error to always critically evaluate meals. Ive certainly learnt to take food less seriously and try whenever possible to experience it emotionally rather than as a professional or critic. I like nothing more than seeing my daughter Ariane eating and liking food.

When youve seen what Ive seen on a regular basis it changes your world view. Ive spent such a lot of time in the developing world, I was caught in a war in Beirut, been in Liberia, the Congo, Iraq and Libya and realised how fast things can get bad, how arbitrary good fortune and cruelty and death. I suppose Ive learnt humility. Or something.

The great Warren Zevon was asked, close to death, whether he had any important words of wisdom to pass on and he said, Enjoy every sandwich. I definitely enjoy my sandwiches, given how low I fell and how likely it was that there was going to be a different and tragic outcome. Im a pretty lucky man. I enjoy my food and presenting Parts Unknown. I have the best job in the world.

Appetites: A Cookbook by Anthony Bourdain is published by Bloomsbury (26). To order a copy for 22.10 go to bookshop.theguardian.com or call 0330 333 6846. Free UK p&p over 10, online orders only. Phone orders min p&p of 1.99

This article was taken from Observer Food Monthly on 15th January 2017. Click here to get the Observer for half price.

Read more: http://bit.ly/2jy0P1W

from Anthony Bourdain: I put aside my psychotic rage, after many years being awful to cooks