#Aunt nobody cared about

[itz-pandora]

Huh. If my life was a quote, it'd be "one of those sad ones with a deceptively happy tune"

[doctorjohcoy]

this is the second time ive met a studlesbian in houston (knowingly) and the second time i said 'hi' and nothing else. if i had a dime for every time i met a fellow stud because of my mother dragging me around on errands id have two dimes-

[gender-euphowrya]

i know our fatphobic cultures have deepfried and glassblown people's brains but it always boggles my mind when a fat person is fatphobic ??? what are you doing

[qumiiiquinnquin]

i wonder what my life would've been like if i wasnt abused until. well i dont know. its still not over

[drop--pop--candy]

literally how am i meant to go on

[stopfunkinwmyheart]

[thoughtfulseason]

17 days until i’m 27

[jaejoongs-nipple-piercing]

I just love it when people are rude to me. My gofundme post on a neighborhood app was flagged for spam. It’s not. And these two people are extremely rude:

[135-film]

so, my aunt and uncle are sending me back to texas for reasons i dont want to delve into (its incredibly, incredibly minor but still VERY triggering to me) and im super like. fucked up about it. lol.

[jayswhorex]

missing you

kenji sato x fem!reader

warnings: shower sex, multiple positions, angst & smut

you had an irresistible grip on kenji sato. there was something about the way he always came back to you. sure there had been other girls at some point but he always knew you were the best. and not just when it came to sec but also when it came to everything else. nobody knew kenji sato better than you and maybe he was a tiny bit scared of that. yes, he had a hard time committing to you but he knew if he had to settle down, he couldn't imagine it being with anyone else. so when you showed up at his place and needed a place to stay for a couple of months how could he say no to you?

your schedules had always conflicted so when the two of you rarely saw each other it wasn't such a big surprise to kenji. and times you did see each other were awkward, kenji had been tired of putting up a facade & you knew he just needed his private time. even though during those times all he wanted was to talk to you.

but this morning things had been different, you had decided that you'd take a shower much later than planned to avoid kenji. he snuck out last night to do well…you knew what and had yet to come back. you found yourself just standing under the showerhead, letting water spill all over your skin. you were stuck in your head, trying to grasp why out of nowhere you asked to stay here with kenji. yes, he cared for you but you could never believe that there was a chance in hell he loved you.

you were so distracted by your own thoughts that you hadn't even heard kenji walk in, "mind if i join angel?" his hypnotic voice snaps you from your thoughts. you open your mouth to answer but quickly close it. you open it again and answer with a soft, "mhm".

the cold breeze when kenji opens the shower curtain causes you to shudder, wrapping your arms around your body. "relax" he says gently placing his hands on your waist from behind. his touch was soft and warm, a feeling you used to be used to until you had decided to avoid kenji. you were still trying to make sense of why you were doing this. why are you so scared of letting kenji see those other parts of you?

his mouth pampered your neck with kisses from behind, his hands making their way up to your chest. a delicate whimper escaped your lips, causing you to relax into kenji's touch. kenji squeezed your breasts before giving his attention to your nipples that had softened under the water. he groped on tit while he teased the nipple of the other. "

ken…" you managed to call out, feeling his cock twitch against your ass. the pulsating of his veiny cock against your aunt could only make you more aroused than you had been before. he knew what it meant when you called his name like that and he saw no reason to deprive you of what you craved for. his breaths were deep and heavy, almost as if he had been waiting for this moment. waiting to be able to touch you again even if this was the last life. he keenly guided his cock your drenched cunt, craving to fill you up almost like a dog in heat. a string of sloppy curses falls from your mouth as he slipped his cock in with such ease. there was a brief silence that kenji broke with no hesitation for you, "i missed this baby…i missed us"

kenji gently moved his hips, testing the waters. "kenji you don't have to say that-" a hushed groan accidentally left your mouth, your knees nearly buckling. "just to get in my pants" kenji let a chuckle, you could sense a bit of cockiness hidden beneath that little laugh of his. and god you missed it. "sweetheart i don't know if you can tell but we're way past me getting in your pants," he says a bit frustrated because he wasn't joking.

he was serious about missing you, not the sex nor the fling, he just missing you. he missed your little smiles and the way you'd let him talk to you, he missed you. his thrusts were deep yet rough, and you heard the loud splashes of water getting caught between your bodies. "i know ken but…" kenji's hands found their way to your waist once again, bringing your lower half closer to his. with how wet the walls were and how hard ken was pounding you & your lack of focus you could barely get your sentences out. "…i don't want you to say something you don't mean"

"but i do mean it angel" and that's when it hit him, kenji had to show you. he had to make you understand that needed you and he couldn't do this back and forth anymore. he knew now he was sick of it. you whined when you felt his thrusts slowing, he swiftly pulled out of you and turned your body so that you were facing him. "ken-"you were slightly confused but when he picked you up and gently slid himself into you, you got the memo. "just listen angel please" kenji held you bu the thighs while you had your arms wrapped around his neck, a mixture of moans and groans spilling out of your mouth with each thrust kenji gave you.

"i miss you when you've left early for work in the mornings," he said followed by a hollow grunt that threatened to escape his mouth. your insides clenched around him, encouraging him to be a little less gentle with you. kenji nearly slammed you up against the wall, earning some very noisy moans from you while toenails dug into his back. he knew they would definitely affect his performance at his next game but that was very far from his mind. the only thing he was focusing on right now was you because he had so much more to say and he needed you to listen.

"i miss you when you work late"

"i miss you when you can't come to my games"

"i miss being around you baby"

"i fucking miss hearing your voice" kenji was so stuck in his own head, chasing this high with you while also mumbling out how much he missed you, and need you and wanted you. his words had to mean something to you because, in the end, he was the one you came to when you needed a place to stay. though still dazed, kenji finds himself gripped on the flesh of your thigh firmly as he really himself inside of you. your legs wrapped around his lower waist bringing his body even closer to yours. his grip on your thighs loosened a bit and he leaned his forehead against yours, trying to calm himself down. he feared the silence that had fallen between the two of you but at least he had told you how he was feeling even if that meant nothing to you.

but you could only smile at him and say, "i missed you too ken"

[inkskinned]

before you know about women, you hear that you do not need to love the man, just that you need to love him through his manhood. which is to say you have seen the future painted in lamb's blood over your eyes - how your mother shoots you a look about your father's inability to cook right. how your aunt holds her wineglass and says i'm gonna kill em. men, right! how your best friend bickers with her boyfriend, how she says i can't help it. i come back to him.

you learn: men are gonna cheat. men aren't going to listen when you're talking, because you're nagging. men think emotions are stupid. they think your life is vapid and your hobbies are embarrassing. men will slam things, but that's because men are allowed to be angry. if you get loud, you're hysterical. if a man gets loud - well, men are animals, men are dogs, men can't control their hands or their eyes or their bodies. they're going to make a snide comment about you in the locker room, about your body, about how you're so fucking annoying. you're going to give him kids, and he will give you the money for the kids, and you're going to be running the house 24/7 - but he gets to relax after a long day, because his job is stressful. the man is on stage, and is a comedian, and says "women!"

and you are supposed to love that. you are supposed to love men through how horrible they are to you - because that's what women do. that's what good women do. wife material. your father even told you once - it'll make sense when you're older. it was like staring down a very lonely tunnel.

it feels like something's caught in your throat, but it's all you know, so. it's okay that you see sex as a necessary tool, a sort of okay-enough ritual to keep him happy, even though he doesn't seem to care about happiness as-applied-to you. it is relationship upkeep. it is kissing him and smiling even though he didn't brush his teeth. it is getting on your knees and looking up and holding back a sigh because he barely holds you as you panic through the night. it's not like the sex is bad and you do like feeling wanted. and besides! he's a man! like... they're another species. you'll never be able to actually communicate, right. he isn't listening.

you just don't get it. you don't feel that sense of i'm gonna climb him like a tree. mostly it just feels fucking exhausting. you play the part perfectly. you smile and nod and are "effortlessly" charming. and it's fine! it's alright! you even love him, if you're looking. you could have good life, and a good family, and perfectly happy.

in the late night you google: am i broken. you google i'm not attracted to my husband. you google i get turned on by books but not by him. you google how to get better in bed.

the first time he yells at you, it almost feels like blankness. like - of course this is happening. this is always how it was going to end up. men get angry, and they yell, and you sit there in silence.

you mention it to your friend - just the once - while you're drunk. she shrugs and says it's like that with me too, i just try to forget and move on. men are always gonna hear what they want to. pick your battles and say sorry even though he's in the wrong. you play solitaire online for a month. you go to your therapist appointment and preach about how you're both so in love.

after all, you have a future to want. nobody lied about it - how many instagram posts say marriage is hard. say real love takes work. say we fight like cats and dogs but the best part is that we always make up. how many of your friends say happy anniversary to the best and worst thing to ever happen to me. if you really loved him - loved yourself too - you'd accept that men are just different from you.

the first time she kisses you, it's on a dare at a party. something large and terrifying whips through your body. you wake up sweating from dreams where her mouth is encrusted with pearls and you pick them off one by one with your teeth. fuck. you sit at the computer and your almost-finished game of sim city. you think about your potential perfect life and your potential future family. you google am i gay quiz with your little hands shaking.

you delete each letter slowly. you don't need to love him. you just need to keep going.

[roseyturtles]

.

[luveline]

more hotch with teacher!reader? maybe she’s trying to take a bunch of things into her classroom one morning and hotch jumps in to help (and flirt with) them :)) i adore you’re writing thank you for sharing sm with us lately!!!

you’re so welcome ily ty for requesting! <3 fem, 1k

Today, you and your class are going to make dioramas with a heavy focus on paper crafting. For the last few days, you’ve helped them make plans on what they want to create, and then you scoured the internet for origami and craft tutorials to suit. The only one you couldn’t find was for poor Jamie’s tractors. You’ll figure it out, you’re sure. 

You’ve been saving cardboard boxes, toilet roll inserts, and egg cartons for months. There’s a total mountain of things to bring in, so you’re here early. You figure if you carry huge armfuls, you can get everything inside in three trips. 

“Oh,” you say, as a cardboard box tumbles to the ground, and somehow doesn’t give you a clearer view, “whoops. I’ll pick that up. Jeez.” 

You step over it and almost slip. 

“Careful,” someone says. 

You jump and send an egg carton skittering across the floor. “Oh, gosh! You scared me!” You twist your head, the cardboard that had been resting on your face falling down into your collar. “Oh, Mr. Hotchner.” 

Of course it’s Mr. Hotchner. Aaron, predictably. 

“Aaron,” he says, leaning down to grab the things you’ve dropped, before he opens his arm toward you. You lean away from your tower, embarrassed but relieved when he takes the bulk of your tall tower from you. 

“Thank you, Aaron. I wasn’t expecting anyone to be here so early. Is everything okay?” 

“Let me help you with this.” 

Avoiding the question. You and Aaron carry your cardboard inside to the classroom, where you unlock your door (and you never would’ve been able to do without his rescue). He follows you to the arts and crafts table toward the back of the room, and you deposit your stock. 

“Thank you,” you say when he places his armful down. 

“It’s no problem. Can I help with the rest?” 

“Would you, please?” you ask. “It seemed a lot less before today.” 

You bring the rest back in. He’s the picture of a perfect gentleman and carries more than you each time, which isn’t to say you can’t have carried the same as he did, but it’s nice for once to be the one looked after. As a teacher, you get used to giving. 

He doesn’t make you ask him twice. “I’m here early because I wanted to talk with you if you’re free, before I head into the office.” 

“His Aunt is bringing him today?” you ask about Jack. 

“I didn’t manage to get home in time last night to see him, but I’ll be here at pick up time.” 

You nod, hyper aware that you’d swayed the conversation again. “Sorry, what were you saying?” 

“It’s about Jack. Well, it’s mostly about me. I’d like to ask you for a favour, if you’re willing.” 

“Oh, sure. Of course.” 

“You haven’t heard it yet.” 

You flush under the weight of his knowing smile. “No, I mean, I’m sure it’ll be fine. So…” 

“It’s hard sometimes to get Jack to tell me what you’re doing in school. I had no idea he’d be making dioramas today. And I don’t need your lesson plans, I’d never expect that of you, but I was hoping you could summarise the week for me on Fridays? Or whenever you can. I don’t need updates on how Jack is progressing, it could be a couple of words on the topics you’ve chosen, just so I know what he’s doing while I’m away.” 

You’ve never been asked to do it. Parents of kids in the second grade aren’t usually clocked in on what their kids are learning. School is still half fun at this age, your most important job is to make sure they can all read with acceptable fluency. And it’s hard because their parents don’t help, but it’s fine. You love teaching them something so important, and you’re ecstatic to meet someone who’s actually interested. 

You beam. “Yeah, of course I can. I can do that, I don’t mind. Nobody ever wants to know what we’re doing, which is such a shame! I mean, they’re so excited and of course their parents care, but if they have just a little bit of support it makes a huge difference. I can totally send you my lesson plans, Aaron. I’d like to.” You laugh to yourself smugly. “I never get to show them off. They’re extensive. And they take ages.” 

“You want to show them off?” he asks softly. 

His voice is velveteen. 

“Is that awful?” you ask.

“No, it makes sense. You really don’t have to if it’s too much trouble, but I… feel guilty, when I call him and ask how school was, and he can’t remember what happened.” 

“Don’t feel bad about that. The kids can’t remember what I told them ten minutes ago.” 

He isn’t like you, in that he’s very still. He doesn’t move or fidget, which makes his looking at you all the more obvious. “Thank you,” he says. 

“You’re welcome.” 

“Can I pay you back?” 

You catch one of your bracelets and twist it around your wrist. 

Aaron told you without hesitation that he profiles criminals. He can read their expressions, habits, and idiosyncrasies as thoughts and feelings. He can trace movement to the source. You’re positive he wouldn’t keep asking you such leading questions, or insist you call him by his first name every time you see him, if he didn’t already know that you find him attractive. 

“How would you do that?” you ask. 

“Is there anything else you… need help with?” 

A million things, but you’re no idiot. You can read subtlety too. 

“Well, I have a bunch of textbooks on the top shelf in the stockroom you could help me with.” You smile shyly. “It gets hot in there, though.” 

He begins taking off his suit jacket. “That,” he says, his gaze on you with all the tenderness and amusement of someone who’s known you longer, “won’t be a problem.” 

[unnamedmedicalprofessional]

tw mention of child neglect

I think some people, including me before I analyzed the opening scenes of the Eleventh Hour more closely, assume Amy's abandonment issues are just about being abandoned by The Doctor, but there's way more to it than that. Her parents had disappeared for reasons she had no capacity to understand, and she's left with her aunt who's heavily implied to be neglectful (leaving a child home alone completely unsupervised) and who she says she'd be lucky not to have. She also doesn't fit in as the only Scottish girl in the English village and frankly just an odd person in general.

When The Doctor says he'll come back, she says people always say that like she knows from experience. The tragedy of what The Doctor accidentally did to her is that she finally however breifly met an adult that cared about her only to have that ripped away again and having others disbelief in him only alienate her from others further. She keeps getting taken to psychiatrists and biting them. It's worth noting that even though it was an accident, it was incredibly callous of The Doctor to promise he'd be five minutes when he knows the TARDIS has a long history of being unreliable. Rule one The Doctor lies, not just as part of plans, but also to pretend to be a version of himself that's actually responsible and reliable.

And that's why she has so much trouble healthily expressing her love for Rory, because deep down she's afraid he'll abandon her to. That's also why Amy needs Rory, because there is nobody less likely to abandon Amy Pond than Rory Williams.

[comicaurora]

Listening to the latest OSPod and your discussion about being ace and wanting to be prioritized, it resonated a lot with me. I also go through those sorts of yearning periods and it was nice to hear that verbalized.

It's a tough feeling! Loneliness is a universal consideration, but for anyone who doesn't want a single life partner it takes on a new, difficult shape. Finding "the one" won't fix it, because you don't want "one", and you also don't want to give all of yourself to just "one." So everything we learn from the social and cultural zeitgeist tells us that this life will make us, forever, a third wheel - deprioritized, unnecessary, nobody's first choice.

I think some of the fear is rooted in a fallacy, though. Broken down, it's basically just "will people like me if I can't offer them something?"

Relationships aren't really transactional. I do things for the people I love because I like it when they're happy, and I can only assume the inverse is also true. But if you're a person for whom the supposed "highest tier of relationship closeness" is inaccessible, if your friends have Most Important People in their lives who aren't you, this insidious feeling can creep in. "Those people are closer because they could offer something you couldn't. They get to be cared about because they have something you lack."

It's not true, obviously. Relationships aren't a linear hierarchy; every relationship is completely unique. Everyone I'm friends with, I'm friends with in a completely different way. I don't have a ranking or tier list defining how close we are, and I can only assume my friends don't either.

And the logic breaks down further the more you look at it. There's this idea that friendships are more fragile and disposable than romantic relationships, leaving people whose only relationships are friendships in a more supposedly unstable position. But romances and life-partnerships break down all the time. Not to go morbid to prove a point, but I've lost several elderly relatives at this point, and the one whose passing was mourned the most, the longest, and the most impactfully was the maiden aunt who never married, never had any kids, but was still so deeply loved by her nieces and nephews and their spouses and children. I've seen it proved that marriage, kids and grandkids doesn't save someone from isolation, and that a single life doesn't doom them to isolation either. None of us are automatically destined for loneliness.

A fear of abandonment is a powerful thing, and while my perspective on it is intrinsically tied to my ace identity, it's definitely not just us feeling it. For a social species like us, there's really nothing more unifying than a fear of being alone.

[takasuya]

wish i had a recording of what my aunt and mom sound like. they sound like motherfuckers who think theyre so smart and want me to do shit their way all the time. and then cry like pussies when their kids are humans who dont do their shit bcus theyre ppl w brains and personalities oooh noooo i really want to punch the shit out of their smug faces. i dont care that my mom is sick or whatever theyve been like this for so long. even before this, all i want is to kill them or best their shit. im so mad so fucking mad

like what the fuck crying bcus i dont want to work in the same company as you cus look what ur doing to my sister and telling me all about it as if I CHOSE the job and ur trying to reassure me ill get if AS IF I WANT IT and then saying i dont redha enough FUCK U. FUCK U!!! FUCKER. and then turning ard and yelling at me abt it being a mistake to advice me u fucking bitch. u never advised me bcus look where it gets u whore. fucking