#by we i mean my family my grandma and cousin families

[quill-of-thoth]

The Saga of Great Uncle Asshole And The Priest From Hell

It's thanksgiving (in the US) so have a family gathering disaster that is old enough to be funny. Almost a decade ago, after a life of stirring up drama everywhere she went, my grandmother died. She was an unhappy woman who tried to be better to her grandkids than she was to her kids, and didn't always succeed, and she's the reason that when I smell cinnamon tic tacs they're accompanied by the reek of an illusory cigarette. This is not a sad post. This is a post about the fact that her funeral was a fucking disaster and it was ultimately about 50% her fault. See, my whole family was at one point or another catholic. Grandma really enjoyed going to church in her last years because it got her out of the nursing home, and priests have to listen when you tell them about the husband you divorced and the children who think they know better than you. Grandma did not consider the fact that the local priest she'd latched onto like a talkative moray eel in a cloud of nicotine smoke was an unmitigated bigot. She left instructions that she wanted her funeral to be at that specific catholic church and for that priest to do the sermon. It didn't occur to her that the person who would be organizing her funeral would be her gay daughter and her daughter's wife.

Shit started getting real about when the doors opened to recieve mourners. Over the course of ten minutes, my aunt summoned:

her elder sister, a paralegal

my father, who has never seen a conflict he would not cheerfully walk away from

Their younger brother, in order to swear at the priest

My mother, who hadn't had a good opportunity to fight a priest since we left our own church and was game to do it again.

This left me, the eldest grandchild, in charge of the receiving line, despite the fact that I knew approximately no one there. My brother and cousins were woodenly shaking hands and then whispering "who's that?" "I don't know." My aunt's husband was escorting the elderly and infirm up the stairs one at a time. My uncle's wife was also around but she knew even fewer people and was mostly listening at the door of the ongoing argument.

So when my brother and Boy cousin went to see if we could pry someone who knew who was related to us out of the argument and I was busy trying to convince an octegenarian that she did NOT need to figure out which of her cousins had married one of grandma's siblings before sitting down, Girl Cousin was alone at the door.

Great Uncle Asshole arrived in a storm of curses and a faux-coonskin cap. He blew past Girl Cousin, thumped his cane up the steps, and seized my hand. It was like shaking hands with an extremely strong mummy. "You look just like your mother! It's the hair, what a bird's nest. Where's your daddy? And the rest of Helen's brood."

I muttered something about them finalizing details with the priest.

"Well, they'll come see me soon enough. Bet you don't know who I am!" I didn't know who anyone was. Everyone older than me was having a verbal cage match with a member of the clergy or escorting some other old fogey to their seats, everyone younger than me had even fewer clues, and my only hope was to wrap this conversation as fast as possible. "Nope!" I said, "I haven't seen most of the people here in years." If I had ever seen them in the first place. He was going to be mad, but I figured if I had to be the bouncer I could probably take an eighty-something year old guy who breathed like the surgeon general's personal warning to smokers. I could at least shut the door on him.

"Of course you wouldn't! Your gran wouldn't have told you. I'm your great uncle Roger, and I'm here to bury the hatchet, by which I mean your grandma! She and I swore over our father's casket we'd never be under the same roof again while we both lived, and by god I kept my oath!" People were starting to stare, and it was at this moment that a thirty-something man in a suit sprinted up the stairs, and my uncle's wife, with a look of dawning horror, called her husband. "Roger's here." The middle aged folks descended immediately. Here is a snapshot of the ensuing conversation: "Roger, why don't we find you a seat?" - my mother in her best teacher voice "Glad to see you're doing well enough to make it" - My father, in his best 'good god I want to be anywhere else' voice. "Take me to the coffin! I want to see her with my own two eyes!" - Great Uncle Asshole, "And hang up my **** hat! Killed it myself!" "I'm so sorry, I didn't know he could walk that fast" - strange suit man "If you are QUITE finished, I am starting the ceremony in ten minutes" - the priest

As my father and his brother towed a grinning and cursing old man to the furthest reaches of the family section, my mother and my oldest aunt caught all the cousins up on the argument with the priest. My youngest aunt was still crying while her wife stared fixedly at the stained glass panes and periodically handed over tissues. The upshot of it all was that my aunt and her wife would be allowed to attend the funeral (on pain of the whole family literally walking out on the priest) but would not be allowed to take communion, because the priest didn't believe in their marriage. My aunt's wife had neglected to point out that, being Jewish, she wasn't going to take communion anyway. "That's fucked" said boy cousin, and the four of us immediately resolved in whispers to refuse communion as well. The priest opened his sermon with pointed remarks about the older generation's devotion and respect for the church. He continued on through psalms and all that until he got to the blessing of the eucharist and asked the family up to receive communion. My father, who hadn't taken communion since I could remember, stayed seated. My mother stayed seated. My aunts and uncles stayed seated. The cousins stayed seated. About a third of the church didn't move. "Well father, I'll have mine! These young folks think hey have all the time in the world to get right with the lord, but you and I know better!" The priest, who had been visibly hoping god would smite us, turned a wincing glare on my great uncle and the series of distant relatives and nursing home neighbors who were now shuffling up. The service dragged on. We were lined up to say goodbye to everyone, while the suit man (who would turn out to be my second cousin) bodily hauled great uncle asshole and his coonskin cap down the stairs. "I should have known my sister wouldn't manage to raise any good Catholics! Horrible woman." he said loudly as he was stuffed into a car driven by suit man's apparent twin. The priest approached as we were finally ready to leave, to ask why we were so stubborn that we deprived ourselves of communion. After all, unlike my youngest aunt, we weren't obvious sinners! "Oh, I'm Lutheran" - My eldest aunt. "I'm an atheist" - My uncle "I don't think you're qualified to bless anything." - My mother, who learned her religion primarily from a horde of socialist-leaning nuns.

With that, we left the wreck of my grandmother's funeral behind. "Helen," said my mother, very deliberately, when we were safely in the car, "would have HATED that." My dad started laughing. "Are you kidding? She would have loved that! It would have been all she complained about for years!"

[thoughtfulseason]

17 days until i’m 27

[adiraofthetals]

My Grandma just told me my Cousin wants a kitten. That can only go so well. They have a Greman Shepard. That house also holds my Aunt, my Uncle, and my three Cousins. So chaos it is I guess.

Buddy why???? Why a kitten? You and your brothers begged for a dog for YEARSSS!!!!!

Yk Buddy for being four days older than me I don't think you are the bright one. I say that lovingly. Kinda.

But hey he won't find this and the only time we talk outside of seeing each other irl once every year (if lucky) is when I am saying happy birthday to him. No, I don't get a happy birthday back if you are wondering. (Extra post about my loving cousin, Buddy)

[ginnyrules27]

You know how people say 'write what you know'? Yeah, sometimes writing what you know might seem completely insane and completely implausible.

Take for instance using things that happened in my family. If I were to have a scene where characters got into a feud over one character using another character's enema bag, people might think that would be too out of character for anyone to be that stupid. Such a thing has happened in my family's history. It devastated my late-Great Aunts because you can't get rubber-tipped enema bags anymore, only plastic.

Or if I were to have a character sneak out in the dead of night to save a china cabinet from other characters who wanted it for themselves even though said cabinet was several miles away, it might seem insane. My father drove from Fairfax VA to Buffalo, New York to claim my great-grandmother's china cabinet that my grandmother wanted my mom to have but my great-aunts also wanted it and my grandmother sobbed on the phone to my mother about it.

Or if I were to have a character shout 'dad, dad, mom's gonna show her feet' when her mother is about to show her gnarled, bunion and hammer-toed ridden feet to her daughter's boyfriend who was there for the second time...yeah I don't know how people would react because it seems like something no one would do, doesn't it? Replace 'character' with 'my mother' and you have the story of the second time my dad met my mom's parents.

I have more stories about how out there my extended family is but this post is getting long enough. So if there's a moment in my fics where a scenario seems unlikely to happen to someone in real life...I give you my real life lol :D

[lesbiansanemi]

Man inventory at work drained the fucking life out of me cuz it’s miserable anyways but also they completely fuck over my entire schedule for it by making me stay until 11 when normally I’m off by 6:30 so I’m exhausted and had a migraine all day yesterday and now apparently my great grandma is dying can I just like. Chill for a few days or something. Jesus Christ. Let me nap and play a video game or something

[imwatchingdowntonabbey]

Hold on just a minute

So I’ve started Downton Abbey a day or two ago and I’m on season 2 ep. 4 and the way Mrs. Crowley (Mathews’s mommy)really came to Mrs. Crowley (everyone else’s mother) And was like “Owl’ll laeve! I’ll dew it.” And Mrs. Crowley of Downton was like “bet” and Crowley no.2 really went “Ehm noot keedang.” And still couldn’t get a single person to care. And personally I think that’s just lovely.

[bundlebrent]

Apparently my not doing well is noticeable because my boss gave me Friday off and was like hey take a long weekend and go see your family

[wrdn-tabris]

ooooh my god

[lizardho]

I was like 11-12 years old when I figured out at a boring-ass church activity that you could put rocks into little plastic spoons and then pelt people who annoyed me with them. I did this for the rest of the activity, and at Sunday dinner the next night was bragging about my victory (cornering the mean kid who picked on my youngest brother and pelting him with rocks). One of my cousins was like “no way, that sounds SO fun! Let’s do that RIGHT NOW!” So we grabbed spoons and went and got pebbles from the back yard and launched them at each other.

The problem was my grandma sold her soul for the world’s most resilient plastic spoons so we could launch those fuckers HARD. I gave out welts like candy on Halloween, and I got them back in kind.

So we resorted to taking cover and giggling until we got whacked, then yelping, then returning fire.

My cousin hid in my grandpa’s little fishing boat. It was a good boat, but simple and honestly underused. We didn’t know the little windows on it, meant to keep the wind out of my grandpa’s face while he drove, were cracking. However, they were definitely cracking. Eventually it became obvious and we realized we had been being dumb.

This was NOT the first time in my life I’d been dumb roughhousing and broken something, and I had developed a reputation in my family as being “suicidally honest” so I was the one to deliver the bad news. My grandpa let out a pretty good chuckle and said it was OK, tousled my hair, and asked my grandma to bring me cake. I am not kidding. I learned later he hated his boat and only bought it for his kids’ sakes, since he thought everyone needed to know how to fish. At the time though I was just bewildered and pleased at my good fortune. FINALLY, at long last, being honest and telling the truth about breaking something expensive was getting me cake. I knew if I kept trying it would eventually serve me, and now so had CAKE. I was pleased as could be.

My dad, on the other hand, was livid. He LOVED that boat. He spent several weeks each summer recovering from breaking ribs in that boat every year for about 7 years prior to this incident. He had great memories and memories that boat. So he told my Grandma NO cake for me AND that I’d be coming by this weekend to fix stuff around the house and pay for the broken window with my babysitting/lawn mowing money.

Obviously I was devastated, but that felt more in-line with the way things normally went when I broke something expensive so I just figured it was OK. My grandpa gave my grandma a look and sadly said “Ok, have her here on Saturday to help me with some yard work.”

That Saturday my dad woke me up at 6:00 sharp and drove me, sleepy and bewildered, to my grandpa’s house. He was mumbling under his breath the whole time but he thought he was teaching me consequences for my actions so he was ultimately OK with it.

We get to my grandpa’s house at 6:15. My grandpa is outside with a ladder hanging Christmas lights. The lawn is freshly mowed, the trees and garden are weeded and well-tended to, the carnations in the front yard look immaculate, and my grandpa has this giddy mischievous look on his face. He tells me he was so excited that I was coming over that he couldn’t sleep, so he did all the yard work himself. He asked me to help him put up Christmas lights and decorate the Christmas tree, which I did, then said that because I was such a good helper I could have some pancakes for breakfast. I was sent home with the slice of cake I had been denied the week before, wrapped to keep it as fresh as possible.

The whole way home my dad looked a little miffed, but told me that he was glad I had been honest and was proud of me for helping grandpa. I know he wanted me to Learn a Lesson™️the cowboy way, like he had as a kid, but didn’t have much room to complain since I’d still been Put To Work.

I think that was a lesson for both of us, although I’m not totally sure what it was supposed to show me. I think it was my grandpa’s way of showing my dad that discipline without tenderness doesn’t count as much. He died last year and I miss him terribly, as does my dad. I hope that my story of victory, drama, punishment, and ultimately a secret second victory is meaningful to someone else out there, but if not it still means a lot to me ❤️

[yupyupppippi]

also I feel both older and younger at 30 than I expected. probably something to do with the life milestones my parents had reached by my age, but also having a small but increasingly noticeable amount of white hair

[thecherrygod]

im thinking about my great aunt, who was basically the only family member from my moms side that we really knew. i remember her being kind but like. i was a little kid, if every time i went to visit you youd give me candy, or a toy, or a candy that came with a toy, id think you were a wonderful person

but im not exactly thinking about that, but what i think was the last time i saw her. like im. unsure if im remembering it right. i dont even remember how old i was, maybe a 5 or 6 year old.

it.. felt like a party of sorts, in her apartment. a lot of people i didnt know so i stuck to my mom. i. dont even remember my brothers or my dad being there i just remember being right next to my mom, and my great aunt was in bed i think, i dont know if she simply couldnt get up or what. but i also remember she gave me a... flower? or something like that. she had sculpted it before giving it to me, and the clay, or whatever the material was, was raw.

and i just. remember walking around the apartment. seeing an amount of people i didnt know, in my memory everyone was having a good time? and everyone was dressed sorta like for a party

..... also i think i managed to spend most of the party with the clay flower as a flower but at some point i sorta started playing with it bc i loved doughs and stuff a lot and i couldnt get myself, and i think i got a bit disappointed i couldnt turn it back into a flower

i cant remember if i managed to ask her to make it into a flower again or not, in fact i cant remember if i saw her again that night before leaving

[713-4th-ward-g]

.

[scribblesofagoonerr]

— Yeehaw' it's cowgirl era!

pairings: leah williamson x reader

summary: readers' in her cowgirl era as she goes to nashville with leah and her family, she tries to contain her excitement, but its' too much to handle at the end of the night.

↪ this is my fav one shot to write, because I love country music!

and as always thank you to @alotofpockets for the help/inspiration to keep going with this fic!

"I'm so tired, why's the airport so noisy?" You grumble in complaint, all you want to do is sleep but with the news around the airport, its' difficult to do that.

You're tired, so tired. You weren't going to miss the chance to speak to your best friend in Australia though.

Stupid time zones really do suck.

"Well, that's what you get when you don't sleep, monkey," Leah chuckles, glancing at you while you are curled up on the floor.

"Its' not my fault though-- Kyra phoned me!" You whine in protest.

Leah chuckles and shakes her head, "Surely you can't be comfy down there?" She wonders, trying to understanding your reasoning to lie on the floor.

"Its' fine," You murmur, keeping your eyes shut and trying to ignore everyone around so you can sleep.

"Why don't you come and sit up here, love?" Berny, Leahs' grandma suggests, "You can't be comfortable down there."

"M' fine here," You repeat, trying to be as polite as possible.

"Shes' fine, Grandma. I'm happy for monkey to sleep wherever as long as I don't have to chase after her," Leah tells the older women, speaking nothing but the truth about the matter.

"What?" Jordan, Leahs' older cousin chuckles.

Leah exhales a sigh and locks her phone from where she's previously scrolling through Instagram, "Monkey likes to do this thing where she bolts, at literally any single chance that she gets. So as long as she's not making me run after her then I'm fine with that," She explains to them both.

Jordan blinks her eyes in confusion, "Uh, er, what?"

"Don' make me move, I'm comfy!" You whine from your position on the floor still.

"See?" Leah gestures to you with an amused smile, "Be grateful shes' not trying to pet the dogs over there." She adds.

"That was one time!" You exclaim in protest.

You try pet a few dogs' in the airport and suddenly everyone starts to make a big deal out of it, pft.

All you wanted to do was say hi to them.

You like animals, so what?

"I have so many questions right now," Jordan remarks.

Leah chuckles amusedly, "Well, we might be here a while then."

"The floors' not comfy anymore," You complain, huffing in annoyance.

"I thought you said it was?" Leah teases you at your own expense.

"Well now I'm not and everyones' been too loud," You whine in frustration, scrambling to get up from the floor, "Everyone needs to shuuuut up!"

"Uh, Le, is she okay?" Jordan turns to look at Leah in concern.

"Oh, yeah, this is just monkey being well, this is just monkey being her normal self-- Ooft, I didn't think you'd literally flop yourself down on me there," Leah groans as she feels your whole body weight completely slump down on her.

You let out a yawn and rest your head on her shoulder, "You make a comfy pillow, so deal with it." You state.

"But, you know..." Leahs' words are cut short by you.

"Shush, you're bein' too loud, Le," You grumble, not happy with her continuing to yap in your ear when you just want to sleep.

"Oh you poor baby," Leah mocks you.

"Mean Malfoy," You murmur under your breath, but it's still loud enough for the blonde to hear.

"What-- Whos' Malfoy?" The blonde's completely thrown off by the namedrop of a certain character.

"You are," You don't hesistate to admit.

"What? I am... I am not--" Leahs' still in disbelief to even realise that you'd managed to drop off to sleep while using her shoulder as a pillow, "Oh, she's asleep. Would you look at that?" She mutters.

"Must've been tired," Berny chuckles, amusedly.

"I still-- I... I don't look like him," Leah is still continuing to have a full blown crisis over the newfound nickname, "Do you guys think I look like Malfoy?" She questions, confused.

"Hey, monkey. You're quiet," Leah pokes her head around the door to check in on you, after not hearing much from you since you had all arrived at the hotel, "Whatcha up to?" She questions.

"Watchin' Black Widow," You pause the current film your watching and  peer your head up from your iPad, "Wouldn't it be so cool to have Widow Bites?" You wonder.

That would definitely be so cool.

Apparently Leah thinks different by her facial expression.

"I think I'd fear for everyones' safety around you with them things," Leah remarks, shaking her head in disagreement, "What would you even use them for anyways?" She asks.

Shrugging your shoulders, you fumble with the strings of your hoodie, "Hurt my enemies and stuff, ye know'?" 

"Enemies?" Leah questions in amusement.

"I got 'em, Le. Loads of 'em!" You tell the blonde.

Leah continues to look at you bewildered, "Right, oookay then. Well, we're gonna get ready to head to the festival soon, so are you ready to go?" She wonders.

"Uh huh, just watchin' this to kill the time-- Ooh! I still need one of them fancy hats!" You exclaim in realisation, jumping up from the bed.

"Slow down there cowgirl," Leah chuckles, making the reference to the jumper that you're wearing, "I've got you covered." She gestures to the cowboy hat which she just so happens to have in her hand before she plonks it on top of your head.

"Yeehaw! Howdy there partner!" You beam a wide grin as you try and put on the perfect accent.

The blonde continues to laugh in amusement, "You are something else sometimes, monkey," Shaking her head, she slings her arm around your shoulder, "C'mon, lets' go and find my family." She adds.

"Whatcha mean by that?" You turn your head to look at her in confusion.

"Well, you've heard the phrase 'one sandwich short of a picnic', right?" Leah explains to you as the two of you start to head out of the hotel room.

"Uh huh," You nod your head slowly in understanding.

"You're that sandwich, monkey," Leah states as she smiles.

Now its' your turn to look at the blonde bewildered, "What? I--"

"Anyways, let's go before we're late!" Leah interjects, tugging you in the direction to go and meet her two family members down in the lobby of the hotel.

"Whoa!" Your eyes are lit in excitement as you take in the sight around you of the festival, "We're in Nashville!"

"We are indeed, monkey," Leah chuckles in amusement, using her usual nickname for you since your well, a cheeky monkey.

The blonde also has another nickname though, menace, but that's usually referred to when you're being well, a typical little shit in her eyes.

So, most of the time... You guess.

You still to look around at the atmosphere in awe, "Whoa! This is so cool!" You whisper in awe, not actually believing you were here right now, "Like, I can't believe we're here-- It's so awesome, isn't it?" You turn to the blonde for her answer.

"I can see somebody's excited, huh?" Leahs' grandma, Berny chimes in as she watches you take it all in.

"Hey!" You gasp excitedly, spotting a girl nearby who just so happens to be wearing the same boots as you are, "That girls' got the same boots that I've got! We're totally matching!" You can't help but squeal.

"That's bound to happen here monkey," Leah remarks as she rests her hand on your shoulder and you sense that she's got something to say, "Listen, I know you're excited to be here, but I don't want you to be running off at all, alright?" She questions, knowing just what you're like.

"C'mon Le, I know that. I'm no idiot!" You dramatically whine.

"I didn't say that, but you know, sometimes you get distracted--" Leahs' words are cut short when you do in fact get distracted.

It's only a matter of seconds before it would happen.

"Look, they've got Churros!" You gesture over to a nearby van that's selling them and try to walk off in that direction.

"Ah, ah, no you don't," Leah's quick to yank hold of you by the back of your jumper, "See? This is exactly what I mean!" She states, firmly.

"But there's Churros, Le-- Churro's are life!" You all but insist, you couldn't get enough of the sugary treats.

"Don't even think about running off, menace!" The blonde is quick to warn you seeing that it looks like you're keen to bolt in that very minute, "I can see that look in your eye!" She adds.

However, the blondes' made the rookie error of letting go of you as they start to walk over to enter the arena where the music would be, at least the blonde still thinks you're following behind her.

Only for her to turn round and her eyes' widen when she realises you had not followed her at all, but went wandering off because of course, when there's Churros around... It's an easy decision to make.

So you bolted, running right in the direction for them without even second guessing it.

"Where the hell has she gone?!" Leahs' throwing her hands up in the air and looking fed up already, not even making it near the arena yet and you're already up to your old tricks, "I swear to god, I need to put a tracker on that girl!" She grumbles under her breath.

Both Berny and Jordan can't help but laugh, "You've got your hands full there, huh?" Her cousin jokes.

"Yeah, you're telling me," The blonde pinches the bridge of her nose, "I need to go find her, I'll be back." She huffs, very much not in the mood to deal with your antics.

And here Leah thought you will be tame tonight...

Ha, no.

"Good luck, love," Her grandma tells her, amusedly.

Leahs' shaking her head in annoyance, wandering through the various food vans' to get to where you where, currently being served the battered sweet treats, "There you are, menace! C'mere!" She states, annoyed.

You whip your head round and give the blonde a cheeky grin, "Le, look. Check out all the Churros I got! Do yer' want one?" You offer one out to the blonde, completely unaware of how peeved she is.

"What, no, I do not want one. What I want is for you to stop wander off," Leah looks at you in disbelief as she is quick to yank hold of the back of your jumper, "C'mon, now!" She states, firmly.

"Sooo, you don't want a Churro then?" You repeat the question, clearly not getting the idea of how annoyed Leah was, "Oh well, more for me then..." You shrug your shoulders and continue to shove it in your mouth.

Keeping a hold of you in one hand to not make the same mistake for you to run off again, Leah uses her other hand to rip the Churro out of your hand and toss it in a nearby bin, "You know you shouldn't be eatin' that many. You're going to get sick!" She tells you.

"But they're so good though!" You whine in protest.

Leah shakes her head, "No, no, that's enough of them. I'm not dealin' with you being sick. You know what you're like with that much sugar!" She states, firmly.

"COUNTRY GIRL, SHAKE IT FOR ME, GIRL," You sing along to the lyrics of the song that's currently being performed at the top of your lungs, having the best time of your life, "SHAKE IT FOR ME!"

If there was a table to stand on top of right now, your damn sure that you would be standing on it and pumping your fist in the air.

"Enjoyin' yourself there, monkey?" Leah glances at you and smiles, although slightly concerned for the impending sugar crash that's going to follow anytime soon.

"Hell yeah! I'm in my cowgirl era right now!" You scream in response, swaying to the music and continuing to live in the moment, "I never ever wanna leave this place!" You exclaim.

Leah laughs slightly and shakes her head, "Stay here, alright? I'm goin' to get some drinks-- Don't even think about moving!" She warns, following what happened earlier on when you went on an adventure for Churros.

"Ooo, drink. I want one!" You insist, whipping your head in the blondes' direction, "I'll take a vodka coke, please!" You declare.

"Sure, nice try. How about we hold the coke, eh?" Leah remarks, amusedly, "Legal age is 21 here, sorry, monkey." She pats you on your shoulder.

"Boo!" You huff in protest at the news, "C'mon, the rules don't have to apply to me!" You tell her.

Rules are there to be broken, right?

Definitely.

"Yes they do," Jordan chimes in.

"Pft, says who?" You scoff and roll your eyes at the older women. Your definitely not a rule follower most of the time, "Rules don't mean nothing to me."

"Me, because the rules really do apply in this case, monkey. I'm not being the one bailing you out of jail," Leah tells you, laughing in amusement.

You can't help but huff once more, "Meanie, complete meanie, Malfoy."

"I do not look like Malfoy!" The blonde exclaims.

"Yer you do, carbon copy of him," You remark cheekily, sticking your tongue out at her.

"You little-- I'll be back. Stay put here, don't even think about moving or I'll follow through with the threat of that tracker!" Leah warns, wagging her finger in front of your face, "Stay." She repeats.

"Woof," You reply to the blonde by barking, being completely, well, being completely you.

"Le? Pst, Le!" You not to gently nudge the blonde in the ribs as you start to get bored in the middle of a performance and want her attention, "Le... Leeeaaah!" You continue be that lovely irritating twerp that everyone seems to put up with.

"What?" Leah turns to face you confused, "What's up, monkey?" She questions.

"Hi," You can't help but snicker in amusement, just winding her up for the sake of it.

Mission success when you see the facial expression is unamused.

"Your such a pest sometimes," The blonde grumbles, shaking her head before she takes a swig of her drink.

You smirk and take the opportunity to be even more of a pest per say, "Malfoy's cranky." You murmur, just loud enough to still be heard.

Leah's head whips around in your direction, "I heard that, you little shit!"

"Language!" You gasp dramatically and widen your eyes, "You said a bad word!"

You feel a swat around the back of your head, "You're a menace sometimes."

"Le, love, don't hit the child," The blondes' grandma chides.

"She's not a child, she's a literal devil," Leah remarks, scoffing as she scowls at you as if to be cautious of your next move.

"Regardless, don't hit Y/N," The older women states.

You can't help but stick your tongue out at the blonde, "I win!" You exclaim, doing a little victory dance in your spot where your sat.

"I can ground you again, so be careful with your next move!" Leah warns, giving you a pointed luck.

Where's the fun in that?

You faux hurt and rest your hand on your chest, "Who, me? I didn't do out. You can't prove anything," You play innocent in front of Leah's family members.

"I was right, you really are a devil sometimes!" Leah murmurs, shaking her head in disbelief, "A complete menace to society."

"Yeah, but you still keep me around, right?" You can't help but grin cockily, letting out a sudden squeal when you feel an arm wrap around your neck and pull you down slightly, "Agh! Lemme go, lemme go!" You whine in protest.

Soon enough the wave of the sugar rush soon turns into a sugar crash.

Eating a bunch Churros was really, really not a good idea.

Although they were too good to not eat, so definitely worth it at the time in your opinion.

However, now, it is a completely different story now your energy is starting to wear off.

The state being where you somehow manage to slump off your chair down to the floor and curl yourself into a ball on the ground in front of Leah and her family.

You just want to get comfy, and the ground seems acceptable.

No judgement here, alright?

Leah's a bit drunk from the alcohol but seeing you in the way that you are and shes' sobering up pretty quick, "Monkey, what an earth are you doin'?"

"I'm tired," You murmur in half asleep state, finding it hard to keep your eyes open.

Leah exhales a sigh and shakes her head, "Why don't you come back up here and sleep on the chair, like a normal person?" She suggests.

You barely are shaking your head in response due to the tiredness, "No thanks, I'm comfy here."

"That can't possibly be comfy though?" The blonde continues to look at you in disbelief.

Jordan can't help but look over at the chaos and chuckle slightly, "Are you okay, kid?" She asks.

"M' tired and the grounds comfortable," Your voice is just loud enough to be heard, as your eyes flutter shut as your just content enough to listen to the music, "Night night."

"Monkey, come on. The grounds dirty and cold, get up please," Leah looks at you in bewilderment, trying to get you up of the floor where's there no doubt several amount of things you definitely shouldn't be lying in, "Monkey, come on. Up here." She repeats.

There's not much response from you, because somehow bizarrely, you have managed to get curl yourself up in a ball and fall fast asleep.

The soft snores are a dead giveaway that you are indeed out cold.

"Is she... Is she really asleep?" Jordan looks completely baffled.

Berny peers over at you and chuckles, "It appears she is."

"Monkey can sleep anywhere. I've never seen her fall asleep in the middle of a festival though," Leah snorts in amusement, before she takes pity on you and moves off her seat to crouch down and gently scoop you up into her arms, settling back onto her seat with you nestled against her.

It takes a few minutes before you shift in your sleep, burying your face in the blondes' neck and letting out soft snores, which make all 3 women smile in amazement.

"Shes' out for the count so it seems," Leah murmurs, swaying to the beat of the music and softly patting your back to allow you to still stay asleep for the rest of the concert, "Hopefully she can make it all the way through the acts tomorrow before she sleeps." She jokes.

Another day in Nashville, a whole lot more for you to see.

© scribblesofagoonerr

[adrienneleclerc]

Celebrity Crush

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Latina! Reader

Summary: Charles decided to buy concert tickets to The Driver Era since his girlfriend loves them. However, this will be the first time Charles witnesses how much Y/N LOVES Ross Lynch.

Warning: spelling and grammatical errors

A/N: this fanfic will mainly serve as a way to get back into the flow of writing so I hope y’all like it. This is inspired by the way I get so feral and unhinged whenever a Ross Lynch concert edit shows up on my fyp

Charles was on his laptop, sitting at the table in their hotel room while Y/N FaceTimed with her parents on the bed.

“Sí mami, ya tengo todos los regalos para mis primos….Cuando vas a (your mom’s country)?…Así que cuando charles y yo estamos en Nueva York, te doy los regalos, y luego vas planeando como empacar los regalos en la maletas…” Y/N told her mom.

Her and Charles were planning to go to New York before the Texas Grand Prix, their flight is next week. Luckily, Y/N’s favorite band, the Driver Era, just so happens to have a concert October 10, during the time they are in New York. So Charles being the wonderful boyfriend he is, is buying tickets. Luckily, there were still tickets available and they weren’t expensive at all. It wouldn’t even matter if they were expensive, he still would have bought them. Y/N hung up the phone as Charles looks up from his laptop.

“What did your mom want, Mon coeur?” Charles asked. Y/N pulled up a chair to sit next to Charles at the table.

“She wanted to know if I bought the gifts for my cousins. I swear, every time I travel with you for your races, she asks me to buy stuff for her side of the family. My dad…not so much since I dont talk to much to my cousins on his side. Are we going to fly straight to New York?” Y/N asked.

“Actually, love, the jet is already scheduled to take us to Monaco, I hope that’s okay.” Charles said.

“It’s okay, that’s good, actually, that way I can pack better outfits.” Y/N said, before kissing Charles. “The flight is tomorrow morning?”

“In the afternoon since it was a night race.” Charles said.

“Cool, I’ll brush my teeth then we can go to sleep. Or do you need to shower?” Y/N asked.

“I was thinking we could shower together.” Charles said with a little smirk. Y/N just nodded her head, giggling lightly.

“I mean it does save water.” Y/N said. Charles got up first, grabbing Y/N’s hand to lead her in the shower.

After their shower, Y/N blow dried Charles’s hair for him before she started her hair routine, also blow drying it because there’s no way in hell she is sleeping with wet hair. The next day, they ate, got dressed, and were ready to go to the airport.

As usual, Y/N slept on the flight to Nice, and with their New York flight being at night, they had time to get eat and finish packing their bags with extra clothes they needed for the trip. On their flight is where Charles thought it was time to break the news.

“Mon coeur, what do you plan on doing during our New York visit?” Charles asked. Y/N started wondering.

“I Don’t know, honestly. I just thought of visiting my mom before she goes visit my grandma, so I haven’t really thought of anything. We could go apple picking upstate, why do you ask?” Y/N asked.

“No reason, just wanted to make sure you’re free October 10th.” Charles said.

“What’s special about October 10th?” Y/N asked.

“Nothing really, just that I got 2 tickets to the driver era concert.” Charles and Y/N turned to face Charles.

“You’re kidding.” Y/N and Charles shook his head. “Ah! No way, I’m gonna see if my friend can come.”

“I thought we were going to go together.” Charles said and Y/N looks hesitant. “Why don’t you wanna go with me? I promise I won’t dance.”

“It’s not that it’s just…are you sure you want to go? It’s not your scene.” Y/N said.

“We’re going.” Charles said.

“Okay, don’t say I didn’t warn you.” Y/N said.

It’s not that she doesn’t want to spend time with him, but the concerts end with Ross Lynch being shirtless and all the fangirls losing their minds. So when the concert rolls around, they’re waiting on line and there were two girls talking in front of them.

“I also excited, do you think he will wear a tank top and rip it off like last time or do you think he’ll be wearing a button down?” Girl 1 asked

“Who cares, he’s gonna end up shirtless anyway. But I love Rocky, he’s such a vibe.” Girl 2 said.

“Who’s going to end up shirtless, Mon coeur?” Charles asked.

“Oh you’ll see soon enough, muñeco.” Y/N said, patting his back.

The venue doors are open and everyone started walking in, Y/N went to the merch table, holding Charles’s hand so he doesn’t get lost in the crowd because it is a small venue, she decided on buying the t-shirt that said “Ross’s Girlfriend” (which I really wanted but I couldn’t get) and Charles decided on a shirt that had the band name in the front and tour dates in the back. Charles paid for the merch and they got to the floor after Y/N put new shirt on over her outfit.

“You really like Ross, huh?” Charles asked.

“You have no idea. He’s been my celebrity crush since he was on disney channel.” Y/N explained, Charles just nodded. “Thank you for buying the tickets, muñeco, really.” Y/N kissed Charles and pulled away as soon as she heard the introduction of the band.

When “Natural” started playing, Ross took off his shirt, Y/N was staring at him, completely mesmerized by the way Ross moved and interacted with his brother, Rocky. Charles recorded Ross and Rocky singing and then panned to Y/N’s reaction. Charles was liking the music but he believed Y/N sung “when you need a man” a little too loudly. Overall, they enjoyed the concert, Y/N more than Charles obviously, they were walking to the car and once they got in, Y/N asked.

“Did you have fun?” Charles looks at Y/N.

“Of course I do, Mon coeur, watching you enjoy your favorite band perform makes me so happy. I’m glad I got to do this with you.” Charles said, kissing her. “I just didn’t know you were so in love with the blonde guy.”

“I’m sorry, muñeco, but he’s 6’1, Can sing, dance, and there’s the nostalgia factor. You know I’m your number one fan.” Y/N said, making reference to one of their songs.

“And im yours.” Charles replied.

“Hey, do you think we can hit a drive thru or something, I’m hungry.” Y/N asked.

“Sure thing. Are there any other celebrity crushes I should be aware of?” Charles asked,

“Musician wise? No. Actor wise? There’s Jensen Ackles and Dylan O’Brien, that’s it.” Y/N said.

“Interesting. There’s no way to meet them, right?” Charles asked.

“Unless you are willing to drop about 2 grand on a Supernatural convention in Jersey. Why Jersey?” Y/N asked.

“It’s not that much money.” Charles said.

“Muñeco, that’s awfully sweet of you but this show ended in 2020 and they are still holding conventions for it. Plus I checked before, the Jensen Ackles photo ops are already sold out.” Y/N pouted,

“Maybe next time, Mon ange.” Charles said.

“You would really spend money so I could meet my celebrity crushes?” Y/N asked.

“If it makes you happy, I would bring you the moon.” Charles said,

“I love you.” Y/N said.

“I love you too. Now let’s go get you some chicken nuggets and fries.” Charles said.

“And a milkshake.” Y/N said.

“And a milkshake.” Charles replied before driving off to the nearest fast food drive thru.

The End

Was it stupid? Yes, but did I like writing it? Also yes. Hope y’all liked it!

I love this man, sorry not sorry, had to include him

[ygslvr]

Jealousy, that shit gon' eat your heart out

Ony x Afab Reader

Word Count: 2,015

Just me talkin: This a “lil short” sumsum i thought of while making my gojo ff and this is also the first ever thing imma put on this platform so treat this shit with love and be nice bc ian scared to cuss a ho out okiii byyeeee hugs and mfkn kisses

Warings: Language, TOXIC RELATIONSHIP and uhhh just alot of shit read with caution fuck 🧍🏽‍♀️

Summary: You And Ony go to his neighborhood to visit his grandma and him to hang around his fam just for a bitch to be all up on him and grind on him and he don't do nun bout it but thats okay you will

“Alright Ma we almost there,i need you need you to please be on your best behavior” He squeezes your thigh to emphasize his please

If youre being honest you hardly heard him bc you were too busy staring at how FINE and DIVINE your man looked i mean cmonnn now he had on his jewelry,chains and studs, look so good on his ass. And he was in a white tee with a black jacket and black sweatpants and made that shit look good asl. Ou the things you could do to him ouuuu the things the things mannnn you can just su-

“BAE”

You snap out of you lil trance you was in “huh, oh yeah yeah you know i got class i could neverrrr”

“Mhm�� he rubs your thigh and pulls into the neighborhood

“You're the one i need to be telling that” you say as you pull down the mirror to check out your hair and makeup before yall get there. Ony looks over at you with a confused expression. “What?”

“Dont what me bitch yk i look good” You look over and start caressing yourself and moving your hair out the way so he can see your outfit

“Chill out with that bitch shit yk how i feel bout dat shit” He lowers his voice on the last part

“Mhm i know baby can get sensitivveee” you say in a baby voice making a concerned face while patting his shoulder

You arrive at his folks house and they is boominggg. I mean,lil kids running around in the front yard, old heads on the porch watching the kids and cars that pass by, a bouncy house for the kids, and you can just smell the good ass food from the driveway. Ony watch you get out the car and you both start walking to the house.

-Imma skip some bc while i was editing I noticed half of this was useless talking making my word count go up so I deleted it..🤭-

You're sat down by Ony’s Aunts and female cousins talking about any and everyone. You can see where he gets his chill demeanor from all of his fam is cool asfk. Ony is sitting next to you with his hand firmly on your thigh,chopping it up with his uncles cousins and friends. Somehow their convo gets to dice and they get up and go to shoot some. As ony is leaving he kisses you on the cheek and tells you he’ll be back and after that y'all could go then he kisses you on the lips and leaves.

“Oooo you got him hooked in lovee honey i never saw him this tranced” One of his aunts say as she pats your arm

You giggle and turn towards them “I dont get what you guys mean, does he seem that in love with me?”You smile

They all collectively say ‘Hell Yeah’

Everyone was vibin and you and his family just choppin it up talking about everything and anything. Ony and his people back there loud playing dice, dominos, and spades just cursing,slamming stuff , and loud. But it aint mind yall it was just a cozy time bonding with his family that's until as one if his aunts is talking she looks behind you and just trails off then the rest of his people turn around and looks and all collectively start to gape in that direction , so you decide to turn around and see what's happening. You turn back when you don't see anything but people, you give them a confused look and one of his Cousins explains “You see that girl with red highlights that just walked in and making her way to ony? Well that was one of ony coulda been girls they talked and prolly even hooked up we dont know but they was close as fuck people thought they were dating but ony hard denied it thats how close.” You turn around and look and by the time you do she alr made her way to the table they was at, you turn back “Not to be rude but they used to be close so why yall so shocked she here” you said smiling.

The worst that could happen is that they still talk just recently stopped talking or he crazy about her or sumn but nahhhh ony aint stupid he know you batshit crazy like yo mama

Another cousin of his continues “He aint tell you girl? That bitch is bat shit crazy but Ony being the nice boy he is never told the hoe about herself, like he should of but hey imma hold my ones with that.”

You give a confused look

“GIRL HE REALLY AINT TELL YOU?! Well miss thang be all up on facebook and instagram posting him claiming they still together using pictures from like 3 years ago even said they got a baby together the baby is one…. girl….like give it up”

One of his other cousins chime in “And ony being a lil bitch dont tell her shit telling us to ignore it and she gon shut up but nu uh that hoe is still going and ion think she gon sto- uh oh?” She stopped when she looked behind you and everyone eyes followed including yours just to see the girl all up ony in the seat right next to him. Like she had her leg over one of his and touching his arm they whole package and wtf was ony doing? Smilin and telling her chill … this nigga want you to be on first 48…

Like him having an old fling? Ok as long as they not still doing shit, especially behind yo back. The old fling came to his family function after he cut her off? She crossed a line not a thick one but its whatever don’t cross the thick line and you good. Being all up on my nigga and feeling on him like he yours and y’all engaged. Bitch you need to move immediately. THAT GOOD FOR NUN ASS NIGGA JUST SITTING THERE SMILING??? Ok bitch you think im stupid and ima a soft ass hoe playing on my fucking top.

You turn back, dig in your purse for your perfume spray sum on you and tell his family to excuse you and that you'd be back. As you get up you grab your drink in case that bitch try sum. You sip on it as you make your way to the table ony. As you're making your way to him you don't take your eyes off him and eventually he looks at you and the look in your eyes makes him have a confused expression. You dont know if this nigga confused on what you finna do or if he confused why you looking at him like that. And you dont know why his good for nun ass is confused, unless he acting dumb…. Ouuu you finna fuck this nigga UP

You make it over to his seat and kick that roach’s leg off your husband and ever so politely sit on his lap. You hear the girls in the back CACKLING , you don't mind that the Ony wanted you to behave oh so bad before yall pulled up giving you that bitch ass speech in the car just to come act like this. So you do what your man said and behave. And you look over to that fishy ass tramp next to him.

“ Hi, I’m Ony’s Girlfriend, Soon to be fiance . I SEE y'all are pretty close so i decided to come over to introduce myself”You smile big and hold out your hand to shake hers making sure to show off the big ass promise ring he got you that can practically be an engagement ring.

Bet he aint get yo cricket booty ass nun like that before huh bitch?

The bitch is looking at you like you took her granny cane, slapped her mama, and hexed her whole family line down to the newborns. “Uhhh…” You say as you look at your hand waiting for her to acknowledge it. After 2 more seconds you put it back in your lap not bothered by her, fixing yourself on Ony lap. The aura is still tight but his family try to loosen the vibe and start back their dice game. “Nu uh bitch you gon have to get the fuck up.” The whole backyard went dead. You look at the ho then start looking around because she couldn't possibly be talking to you. Nahhhh she was talking to someone else. She needed to be talking to someone else because this bitch was playing with water and electricity. Because you finna light her ass up, nah she wasn't talking to you impossible nahhhhh. Then she grips your arm and snatch you up, “ i dont know why yo ass looking around im talking to you get off my fucking husband”

This bitch don lost her fucking mind… NAH FUCK DAT SHE WASNT BORN WITH ONE OBVIOUSLY.“Listen here trick if yo sour pussy ass don't let go off me i know sum”

Ony soft bitch ass in the back talm bout sum “Chillout, sit yall ass down” He makin you mad the more his ass does sum. But you ain't even worried about that. You take one last sip of your drink and chuck it at that tramp. Beaucoup people jump up and others watch making noises. But nah fuck dat you finna handle this ho. You cock back and punch that bitch just throwing hits not even caring if you hit the ho or not, but you are TRUST. She start hitting back and yall end up on the ground, you ain't gon lie this bitch hitting hard so you make sure to hit harder. You just thowin the bitches hitting her in the titty and her face. Until you get pulled off and yall get broken up and Ony holding you, as one more rebellion you kick the bitch and spit on her. “ ALRIGHT CHILLOUT. STOP” Ony say as he start to carry yo ass out. You think you did too much til you hear his aunts and cousins hyping you up and tellin the rest of the fam to let that bitch stay on the ground. You don't get to hear it for long as ony throw you in the back seat and lock the car as he go back to get y'all shit.

You just sit there bc aint no point in running back and finishing that hoe you already don showed her ass a whole new world. It's over now so you just sit back and fix yourself. After a good 5 mins you finally hear Ony come back and hear him apologizing for your behavior over and over again. He gets in the car and looks at you through the rear view mirror. He sighs and starts the car and pulls off to take yall home.

It’s been a good 15 minutes of silence before you decide to speak up. “Yo punk ass had her all over you so don’t blame me.” You say looking in the mirror for his reaction. He looked up and started pulling the car over.

OKKKKK IMMA END IT HEREEEE BC IM TOO SCARED WHEN I WRITE SMUT ITS GON BE BAD BUT IMMA LET YALL IMAGINATION RUN WILD and if i get free time this week maybe a part twoo???

[cloveroctobers]

GRANDMA’S HOUSE — ARMANDO ARETAS x BLACK! READER [Summer Randoms]

A/N: this was honestly inspired by typical family functions + a vid I saw on Instagram (possibly belonging to Tiktok) where we all have that universal experience where we spend the night at grandma’s lol.

SYNOPSIS: your grandmother’s always been in your business, you had a good job? Great! That job got on your nerves? Just be thankful that you have a job when there’s plenty that can’t even find one. You finally moved out of your parent’s house? Good for you, it’s about damn time. Now when you upgraded even more, hearing that you have finally got yourself a boyfriend after being single for only the lord knows how long…she opens up her home for you and Armando to crash instead of spending money (you both had it) out of the kindness of her heart—mostly.

<- read my previous anthology piece here.

⋅˚₊‧ ଳ ‧₊˚ ⋅ ⋅˚₊‧ ଳ ‧₊˚ ⋅ ⋅˚₊‧ ଳ ‧₊˚ ⋅ ⋅˚₊‧ ଳ ‧₊˚ ⋅ ⋅˚₊‧ ଳ ‧₊˚ ⋅

Your grandmother smelled like fresh baked cookies with a hint of peppermint, Armando thinks as the smaller woman embraces him at the front door. The ranch styled house is more fitting than the coastal one she offered you two to stay in last summer out in The Hamptons. From what Armando’s learned about the elderly woman is that she may have the sweetest face but her lip was more deadly than anything. He would have never guessed that Granny Bessie would ever want to be bothered with the folks out there but it was evident that she held her own.

He shouldn���t have suspected anything less.

“Oh you’re so handsome,” Granny Bessie pats Armando’s cheek before staring up at his hair, “You got Indian in you? Looking like you got that Arabian grade of hair.”

Armando casted a glance at you who deeply sighed at the slight ignorance in the entry way of the home. He kept a smile on his face, finding this humorous more than anything, “No, ma’am. I’m Hispanic: Mexican…and black. I used to get Guyanese all the time though.”

The woman nods in agreement as she waves him into the home, “I thought your daddy was coming too?”

Armando inhaled at the mention of the man, who your granny had no issue inviting to her home as well for the upcoming festivities, “Detective Lowrey’s flight got delayed, probably won’t be here until early morning.”

The woman raised a brow at Armando as she closes the door behind him, “You call your father by his profession?”

“Well he hasn’t been much of a father so, yeah.”

“Hold on now, that’s still your blood—

“Granny! How’s the garden been treating you?”

“Oh, It’s flourishin’, baby.” She grins as you slip an arm across her shoulders and sent an apologetic look at your boyfriend, “your cousin Saleema and I went out to the Lowe’s and picked up a bunch of flowers. She helped me plant half of them but I know you’ll help me do the rest.”

She had a whole lot planned it seemed, considering you two came up for a couple of days for the upcoming family reunion at her house. You honestly thought about not attending, since you didn’t feel like socializing with half of your father’s side (1. they were either in your business to make sure you weren’t doing better than them—it wasn’t a competition in the first place but apparently it was in their eyes, 2. acted like they didn’t know you and expected you to roll out the red carpet for them—meaning if you didn’t speak to them first then that automatically became a problem, or 3. simply weren’t wrapped too tight in the head) but pushed through it since your granny got sensitive about not seeing her grand babies as often now that you were all adults.

Armando chuckled to himself at that, you knew your granny would bring this up since your cousin wouldn’t stop boasting about their outing in the: first cousins group chat. Saleema was older, just touched forty and was single living in her condo with her funny looking cat. She was always your granny’s favorite—perhaps it had to do with her being the first grandchild since your aunt had her young—although Saleema was a true hell raiser throughout her teenage and college years apparently, she hardly got shit on out of the grandchildren and it showed.

“Sure thing…anything you want me to help with on the inside first? You know I’m not built for this type of heat.” You whistled, fanning at the back of your neck after swiping some of the braids to your boho Bob to the side.

Granny Bessie scoffs, “stop that lyin’ baby, you chose to live out there with them gators and those strange Florida folks so you have to be built for some of it.”

Armando laughs as he follows you two into the living room, spotting old photos of: Granny Bessie during her bowling tournaments with her voluminous hair, various of family members, and childhood photos of yourself and many more cousins from previous family reunions.

“Oh you should see her Granny.” Armando speaks up after putting a picture back above the piano, “I think she got bougie on you, she even walks outside with umbrellas.”

Not this man snitching on you?

Granny side eyes you, hand still latched on your waist, “…you not one of them demonic people now are you?”

Now it was your turn to send a dark stare to Armando, who bit down on his bottom lip trying to hide his laughter. He knew what he had started, knowing that your grandmother was religious and always had something to say about other aesthetics? The goths and the emos received no love from Granny Bessie.

“No, grandma!”

You only ever called her by that to show that you were serious.

“Good,” she states with a pat to your hip before adding, “you haven’t contracted high blood pressure yet have you? I just knew it would hit you like it hit your father and me.”

Shaking your head you reply, “Nope, still dealing with low blood pressure actually.”

“That’s why I told you to up your vitamins and eat better foods. Good thing you’re here with me for a few days, I’ll send you on your way brand new,” she dusts her hands off with a clap, “your doctor will be thanking me.”

“As he should, granny Bessie knows all!” You rested your head against the shorter woman.

“Damn straight, now y’all come on in here and get you something to eat.” The elderly woman with the Mother Nature braids waves you two along.

Armando starts to squeeze his way by at the news of eating, hands rubbing together in excitement as his stomach rumbled before he steps to the side to continue letting you two go ahead.

“…ah a gentleman! I think I like him so far.” Granny Bessie whispers up at you, carrying into the kitchen.

It was 7pm by the time Granny Bessie was packing it up and getting ready for bed. She made the arrangements, sticking Armando in the back room while it left herself and you on opposite sides of the home. She of course let the home be open to you two but you knew not to stay up too late since the woman liked to be up early and active. Granny Bessie was in her seventies and still moved quickly even when her Arthritis was acting up. Everyone told her to slow down but granny Bessie has proven that she was always going to what she damn well wanted to.

Which definitely stood when she sent her last warning to you two of where you two would be sleeping for the night.

The both of you stood at the entry way of the ranch home, lips attached and battling each others as Armando swung you towards the wall, hand going to your waist then down the side of your ass to hook your leg over his hip.

“You said Granny Bessie was a snorer didn’t you?” Armando breathed against your neck.

You nod as you lick your lips, “yeah but she’s still a light sleeper and I’m not in the mood to get cussed out when we get caught.”

“When?” Armando quirked up his brows to look up at you, “All you have to do is keep quiet, mami.”

“And you think you’re going to help me do that?” You question while Armando thinks about it, “Yeah no.”

You pecked his lips while running your fingers over his facial hair, “just call me on FaceTime if the night gets too bad.”

For as long as you’ve been dating Armando, you weren’t completely oblivious. You knew that he didn’t adapt well to new spaces and it only got worse at night. The nightmares kept him up and anxiety was a bitch, he was trying to get through it on his own and even tried to hide it from you plenty of times before he moved in but there wouldn’t be any secrets in your relationship.

And you wouldn’t disrespect your granny’s home—never did and never will.

“Alright,” Armando sighed as he kissed your forehead, “better keep your phone charged, we both know how you are.”

You scowl as he pushes the creaking door back that led down the narrow hallway, “that was only a few times and I had valid reasons.”

“Uh huh,” Armando holds his hand out back for you to interlock your fingers before stopping in the middle of the hallway, “…goodnight baby.”

“Sleep tight, don’t let the dolls bite.”

Armando halts at kissing the back of your hand as he steps towards you, head dipped as he quizzes with a soft whisper, “…what fucken dolls?”

You’re trying to silence your cackling at the deadpan angle of Armando’s face on your phone screen as you settle into bed. There’s no cable in this room so you’re stuck leaving the tv on some court show that’ll help you fall asleep. It only took maybe a minute or two for Armando to start calling you, you on your side and arms tucked underneath the comfy blankets that made you feel like you were back in your childhood.

Granny Bessie had all sorts of trinkets decorating the dresser drawer by the side of the door and you had to remind yourself that if you needed to get up during the night to not stub your toe.

“It’s not that bad is it?” You ask while Armando just simply blinks at you, which said enough.

Eventually you’re the one that falls asleep on Armando although you promise that you wouldn’t. He knew that was a lost cause after you decided to shut the tv off, welcoming the pitch black and snuggle deeper into the sheets without him. You were closer to the opposite end of the hallway with your granny right across the hall but her bed sat deep in her own room yet that didn’t stop you from hearing her lawn mowing snores. You even popped an earphone in one ear to drawn out the noise and just enjoyed the company of your man on charge.

He ends up falling asleep after you but it takes him much longer, browsing social media, checking up on his side business, ignoring a text from Marcus, and simply sending a thumbs up to Mike’s text that he was finally boarding. Armando managed to keep himself busy, fighting the urge to snatch up all the weird looking dolls, rip their heads off and shove them in the closet.

He guessed this was a thing with Grandma’s having obsessions with odd items?

He makes sure his own phone in on charge, bringing it back to the FaceTime call of your closed eyes before completely covering his head underneath the covers then dozed off himself.

That doesn’t last long being woken up out of his sleep. There’s a loud booming noise in the distance and he’s tempted to find his piece just to make sure no one was breaking in. Granny Bessie had an alarm system and that didn’t seem to be going off but that didn’t stop Armando from sitting up in bed. He looks at the dolls and it suddenly feels as if their soulless eyes are still watching him.

He tossed the covers back, feet on the carpet, eyes finding a random blue light that he couldn’t find the source of as he passed by the edge of the bed. This room was suffocating and he feels like he’s been sweating underneath the sheets. The house was cool before the both of you went to bed and now it felt like being inside of a sauna.

Armando pulls the door back, peeking out into the abyss of a hallway and he just hopes there’s no one else in the house but you three. Leaving the door open a crack he moves back into the bedroom to grab his phone to use the flashlight since he can’t remember where exactly the hallway light is.

The floor creaks underneath his feet as he moves from the back of the house. As he gets to the middle of the hallway, he picks up on Granny Bessie’s snoring and stops at your room. His fingers rack against the door and he gets no response so he moves forth with twisting the door knob. Your back is to the door now, phone abandoned on the floor but still charging.

He picks it up for you and steps back out.

Armando lets you sleep, heading towards the front of the house. He’s in the entry way and the home feels much bigger in the dark, more eerie but knows he’ll find comfort in the dining room or kitchen—where the snacks are.

It’s 3 in the morning when you get the violent urge to use the bathroom. You try to fight it but the pressure in your belly isn’t pleasant so you throw the covers back in annoyance. It was your own fault chugging that ice cold water before you started making out with Armando but you didn’t need to acknowledge that. Shoving your fuzzy socks on, you pull the door open and head out into the dark hallway. Eyes half lidded as you use the wall for guidance to the bathroom, your head turns to the left to see the hallway door is left open just a crack but you carry into the bathroom.

Leaning against the door after doing your business, you feel a pull to head out into the main areas of the home. You see a light from the right of the dining room and walk through the sitting room towards it. Turning to the right you spot Armando immediately, snacking as you plop down beside him in another chair.

Balling your arms up on the table, you rest your head against them as you ask, “Can’t sleep?”

“You didn’t hear that big ass noise?” He says around the dried fruit he’s chewing on, “Sounded like a whole bomb.”

You hum, “yeah we’re near the military base…I thought I mentioned that.”

“No. You didn’t.”

“My grandad was a vet. They moved here in the early 2000’s, it’s a whole community.” You yawn.

Armando shakes his head, “that sounds like nothing but triggers. I don’t know if that’s worst or the creepy ass dolls following me with their laser blue beams as I snuck out of the room.”

Frowning you sigh, “did you take an edible before bed?”

Armando feels his eye twitch, “no I didn’t take a fucken edible—I’m for real. Is this supposed to be normal? The dolls? The random lights? The bombs? The clicking and buzzing?”

You shrug, “…I didn’t hear any of that…or maybe I just learned to tune it out.”

“I see you didn’t get the light sleeping from your granny then.” Armando mumbles while you snort, moving one arm to latch onto his wrist.

Slowly lifting your head you say, “…well we can’t stay out here for the rest of the morning. Granny gets up at six and probably will let us rest until eight if we’re lucky so…”

Waking up early had no effect on Armando since he barely slept anyways. He already scoped out the area once the two of you got closer to Granny’s home from the airport for a good workout.

You just didn’t know it yet.

Working out with Armando in the gym was a death sentence and you’ll be damned if you do it out in this heat too? You rather go to hell in a pretty hand basket and Armando was willing to take you there honestly.

No pain, no gain.

*Cue the eye roll*

“That’s cool,” Armando shrugged, “but I’m not goin’ back in that room.”

Sitting back against the chair you huff, “fine you big baby…set the timer to 5:45 so you can go back to your room. Don’t think she won’t check once she’s up for the day.”

Armando scowls as you scrape back from the kitchen table, reaching over to slap your backside, “I’ll show you a baby if you keep getting smart.”

Rubbing the sting on your back side, you fan your hand back at him, which he snatched to hold while setting a timer as you both make your way to the hallway. Too tired to give him any lip, you were just ready to get back into bed and cuddling with your man didn’t hurt.

Your back is to Armando, he tucks himself right into you, feet intertwined, his hairy legs prickling your shaven ones, chin buried into the space of your neck and shoulder while cradling your stomach.

“…how long were your grandparents together?”

You heard him but take a minute to respond as you fight sleep, “They’ve been married since the early 60s…all the way up until pa’s passing in 2019.”

Armando breathes you in, “how’d they do it for so long?”

“That’s something you’ll have to ask Granny but they were everything good you can imagine—nothings perfect but they felt like it you know?”

“…Think he was used to all the noises here?”

You snort, “he’s always been a night owl so if any of us couldn’t sleep, he was always up in the living room in his chair, eating that a disgusting banana ice cream just waiting for any of us to talk. If we had a nightmare, he’d do anything to make us laugh until we forgot it.”

“Sounds like a special man.”

“He was.”

“…I want that you know? With you. The kids and the gran’s. The creaks and the strange, a loving home. A place where anybody can stay and feel like life’s worth revisiting, like it was nothing but a breeze once you see who you’re surrounded by. A less lonely life.”

You shuffle to face him now, resting your head underneath his chin, not finding this conversation to be new. Most nights when Armando couldn’t sleep, he would ramble about what a future could look like with you.

It warmed your heart just as much as how warm your granny kept the back of the house.

“Then let’s do it.” You mumble into the night as Armando squeezes you, placing a kiss right on top of your bonnet.

That sealed the deal.

“Morning, dear. How did you sleep?” Granny Bessie asks with a mug of coffee as Armando makes his presence known.

Armando glances at you who sips at your own mug with a hidden small smile, “Good. Thanks, Granny Bessie. I’m actually about to head out for my daily run…would you like to join us?”

That gets you to cast a glance at the man over your shoulder who softly squeezes your shoulders with a grin, “us?” You whisper.

Granny Bessie laughs, “oh no. I need to tend to some things around the house but make sure you eat something because the heat will rise by the time you’re out there. Also did you speak to your daddy about what time we should be expecting him?”

“He probably should have landed by now.” Armando shrugs, trying to ignore the feeling that he felt when Granny Bessie labeled the man as such.

You say, “He texted me about twenty minutes ago. He was heading to baggage claim, maybe in the next hour he should be here.”

“Alright, well you two best be going and stay away from the houses from the next two streets over…nothing but confederates on that side.”

The woman wags her finger in warning.

Armando nods, “Thanks Granny,” he pops a red grape into his mouth, “these are delicious.”

“Take as much as you want, darling.” The woman squeezes his elbow on her way by, “Now I’m going to go get fully ready for Mr. Lowrey.”

Frowning you ask, “now what do you mean by that granny?”

“Just that I need to be presentable in my own home.”

“Uh huh. I know you’ve been on Facebook and know what Mike looks like.”

“I am a woman of God, do not sass me.”

Armando snickers while you raise your hands in surrender, finishing off your morning juice.

“I see you Granny Bessie.” Armando teases while the woman fans her hands at him.

“Hush! Don’t make my bad list, Herman.”

You gently reminded, “It’s Armando, granny.”

“That’s what I said.”

“Okay! love you.”

“I love you too, baby.” She grins.

As you’re locking up the screen door, you and Armando walk around the path to the driveway to exit the home. He silently stops you, encouraging you to stretch while you send him an unimpressed look.

Armando was lucky you didn’t go into hiding around the house and shouldn’t be so bossy but you knew better.

“When did Granny see a pic of Mike?”

You switch to bending to the other toe, “when she wanted to see a picture of you. Then she proceeded to rate you, Dorn, Rafe, and of course…”

Armando laughs as he finishes, “Mike. your granny is a trip.”

“Tell me about it.” You try to prolong this morning exercise but he picks up pretty quick and isn’t having it.

He stops jogging in place, hand going out to slap your ass before pulling you along by the hand.

You’re wheezing, ready to throw a whole tantrum, legs stinging, wrists limp as you drag yourself up Granny’s driveway. There’s a Porsche parked to the right in the driveway by the rental you picked up from the airport. Mike’s already out of the car, at the trunk as he’s pulling out his luggage.

“Hey y’all! uh oh, Armando what did you do to my girl?” The smile vanishes from Mike’s face as his son glances back at you.

If the ground wasn’t so damn hot, if the air, if everything wasn’t on temperature hell you would have face planted right on the gravel.

Armando also looks back at you, hands on your knees as you give a wave to Mike, whose brows are deeply furrowed before he raises them to the twenty-eight year old closest to him.

“She’s aight.” He shrugs, “we needed to get our cardio in and she’s the one who wanted to tone that hot girl body up—her words not mine but I don’t disagree.” Armando looks at you again, biting down on his bottom lip, “she’s lucky I didn’t strap any weights to her ankles.”

Raising your hands above your head, you actually feel yourself sway doing that movement over touching your knees and Mike actually takes a step toward you but Armando presses the back of his knuckles against his bio dad’s chest. Mike takes his eyes off you for a second and sizes Armando’s hand as he’s now analyzing you closely himself.

“I don’t know how many serious girlfriends you done had in your life man but I’m telling you right now, if that girl ends up in the hospital with heat stroke because of you pushing her too hard, that’s your ass.” Mike warns Armando, who glares up at him.

He didn’t need Mike to tell him about you.

He was the one who took the time to get to know you mind body and soul.

Mike’s missed out on twenty-something years and didn’t get to give Armando any advice.

And that’s on Kanye!

Armando does move over to you the moment you feel your stomach clench, ready to upchuck any light breakfast you had. He doesn’t waste time picking you up and over his shoulder, you resting limply against him before he’s walking by Mike.

He pauses, “your room is the last room at the back of the house, padre.”

And with that Armando continues towards the house, ready to cater to you because what Mike Lowrey didn’t know was that Armando would die for you.

Mike is mumbling to himself, trying to control his temper since it felt like he was building a connection with Armando one minute and then in the next he was pulling ten steps back. The kid didn’t even offer to come back and help him bring his things in—not that Mike needed it but it was a decent thing to do.

Respect was earned and the duo had a long way to go.

So Mike lets it go, slamming the trunk shut before meeting a very excited Granny Bessie at the front door.

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