no-i-mean-uh-yes

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a request to my fellow heart-lovers!

some of us don’t like the dark stuff. some of us don’t wanna see it without warning.

big big love to those of you who already tag such content, but please! if you do not tag your dark content with whatever specific things it contains, please consider doing so!

it will make the experience so much better for those of us who use tag filters if more posts have tags to actually filter them out. <3

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ur future nurse is using chapgpt to glide thru school u better take care of urself

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sometimes i like to just lay down and steth myself for completely non-sexual reasons. i just like to check how my little sweetie is doing, to give it some attention because i think it deserves it. it's always nice to hear it doing its job, calm, steady and thumpy. i close my eyes and imagine how it may look as it beats. i'm sure it's very pretty, with every part of its intricate little structure working hard to keep me going. i can feel it beating under my palm as i hold the diaphragm against my chest, like it's welcoming my touch. it's silly, but i like to think it's aware of my presence.

a lot of times when i do this i end up dozing off. guess i just can't help it when my little heart sounds so soft and soothing 🩷

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Hey babe—

Last time I listened to your heart I thought I heard some abnormalities.

I am a bit worried about you, how often does your heart beat out of rhythm?

I am concerned, I would like to give you a nice thorough exam and listen to each beat or missed beat for that matter. I promise to take my time at each auscultation point. I will focus on hearing your heart contract and see if I can even hear your chambers fill. I will take notes on the speed and strength of your most precious organ.

I may have forgot to mention, that my concern about your heart was more-or-less a concern for myself. I noticed that the sound of your heart beating irregularly made me feral with desire. Each time I heard a struggle in your heart’s rhythm it sent a kick boom straight into my own heart. Hearing your heart work hard to keep up, only made mine pound with pleasure.

I need to see how controlling your heart affects me physically, emotionally. I need to see what I can do to you to get that heart of yours to break its natural metronomic sound.

I want to try it all. A puff of marijuana, pop a couple of adderral, maybe a bump of coke, a punch to the chest, a dagger’s point jousted ever so slightly into your apex, a needle artfully pierced into your pericardium, honestly my depraved mind can come up with endless ways to test your hearts capabilities. But question is, can you handle it? Or rather do you suppose your heart can handle a freak like me?

I decided to wear something that might help the process along…

[no-i-mean-uh-yes]

VACCINATE YA KIDS FFS

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I recorded this last week while lying in bed and listening to my heartbeat. My S1 seemed to be splitting especially widely, which I thought was interesting, so I decided to share it with you. How does my heart sound? What rate did you count?

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After she’d finished, she turned to me and said “you know, it’s been a while since I got to listen to your chest. Lie down on your back.”

Flustered, and without saying anything, I lay down. She crawled on top of me and set her head down on my chest, her ear cupping it just left of the centre. The rest of her body sank into mine, and I was enveloped by her warmth.

“I can hear it. I can hear your heart beating.”

I didn’t know how to respond.

She started to tap out the rhythm on my shoulder with her fingers. The tapping was getting quicker, and I looked at her with surprise. She looked back with a smile, glancing at my chest as the source of the tempo.

I was still speechless and overcome with shyness. But I also felt that I should try to communicate to her that I appreciated this.

I could feel her head gently shaking against my galloping heart, and I realised that I didn’t need to say anything out loud. She could already tell.

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Really well said!

Needles coming up again

First wanted to reference back my thoughts on this from awhile ago:

but I also wanted to say some of the comments I'm seeing around aren't oriented to harm reduction, they're just tearing down people who engage in needle play and post it. Which is not going to save anyone. It's going to galvanize and sequester folks which will cascade into riskier behavior.

I guess what gets my goat about it especially is why I've pulled back from a good number of folks, which is engaging in dark cardio play as a means or extension of self harm. People know this stuff is dangerous and stupid, you don't need to remind them. That's not going to "wake them up". Some people by comparison just... like doing it. Neither case will respond to this approach.

I don't offer a definitive solution, i just don't vibe with yelling at people. I appreciate things like folks declaring that they'll disengage from the content: that I think does something.

So here's my additional thoughts to tack on to my last post:

If your perception of reckless behavior is that it doesn't matter because your life is so bad or meaningless that the consequences can't make it worse, you're depressed and you need help. Getting help isn't easy. But you need it.

If you feel a strong desire or need to do this for sexual gratification, you need to find healthier outlets. I struggle with this immensely myself. I'm open about liking and engaging with this content and some of its creators. The best I can do for myself is dark roleplay or using already existing content, and playing with generally safer dark play (which will always carry its own risk). The ideal would be to not find it gratifying. I don't know how to.

You should never engage with someone whose relationship to you is conditional on risking your health-- people you actually talk to or "fans" of your content. Anyone pressuring you to play with needles, especially when you're on the fence or have expressed you don't want to, doesn't have your best interests in mind. If you walk back wanting to do it, regardless of if you ever have done it, avoid the people who don't support your decision.

I'm never not going to end a public discussion of needle play without reemphasizing its danger. The possible bad outcomes are catastrophic and there's almost no way to mitigate the risk.

I'll add as well that the community has an obligation (IMO) to make sure newer or younger participants know how dangerous this kind of play is. Don't allow people to stay naive.

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I recorded this out of curiosity about how my visible neck pulse would react to breath holds. Is it just me, or can you see a double pulsation after the holds? If you have any comments or thoughts, I’d love to read them!

[no-i-mean-uh-yes]

my heart starts to pound faster as the edible kicks in. ive been horny and waiting for this moment. i lay in bed with my earbuds, stethoscope, and blood pressure cuff. i take my blood pressure.

114/66

93 bpm

i listen to some recordings while scrolling through the cardiophile tag and playing with one of my nipples. it feels incredible. i start to play with the other one too. this is exactly what my body was craving and is reveling in the feeling, hips rocking, and im not even touching myself yet. i desperately want to hear how hard my heart is pounding so i place my stethoscope at erbs point. i take my blood pressure.

141/89

107 bpm

i get an erratic heart rate warning. i love seeing that.

my body feels so good, i want to cum. i feel so good that im surprised i havent already. i slide a hand down to my clit and take a deep breath. my heart is so pounding loud and clear and im still indulging in heart content. im touching myself and i sync up the rhythym of my breath, nipple play, and clit stimulation with the beats of my heart. my pleasure is reaching its apex. i take my blood pressure.

161/108

102 bpm

waves of pleasure crash over me as the cuff deflates. i feel my pulse returning to my arm. i love timing a reading perfectly with my orgasm. i lay there for some time blissfully listening to my heart slow down to a more normal pace. i take my blood pressure.

109/70

82 bpm

ps: please no one be concered by my readings, theyre usually around 110/70 with about 70 bpm. i was just having a really good time and also high 😉

i cant believe im posting this 😳 i may need a round two after writing this......

[no-i-mean-uh-yes]

more visible heart beats :)

please enjoy 😊☺️🙏

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UK petition: An independent evaluation of the Cass review on child gender services

[ Click here to sign ]

We believe that trans healthcare should be based on unbiased research that is peer reviewed. We think that the Cass review's findings have led to restrictive practices that are being directly felt by transgender children. We feel that an independent evaluation is necessary to ensure children aren’t being unduly harmed. We think that only through a transparent process can we guarantee fair access and treatment for trans children as well as restore faith in the current NHS services.

Deadline: 12 June 2025

Graph of signatures: Click here

Who can sign?

Anyone living in the UK (regardless of citizenship)

Any UK citizen (regardless of country of residence)

[ Click here to sign ]

[ Click here to sign ]

[no-i-mean-uh-yes]

A recording from a couple of months ago which I forgot about: the sound of my heartbeat at my apex while I relax in bed. What can you hear?

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Please, if you're posting about an eating disorder (ESPECIALLY about engaging in disordered behaviours), fucking TAG IT.

I don't want to be surprised by that. People in recovery don't want to be surprised by that. It makes me sad to see people feeling the need to hurt themselves like that (and yes, the ED is hurting you, even though it tells you that it's the lesser evil), but it also fans the flames of an ED to stumble upon people glorifying self-starvation. The tag system is dysfunctional, but at least it's some kind of insulation.

I'm sorry about the angry tone of this post. To the people it's addressing, I don't mean to criticise you as people, and I wish you all the best. Try and be kind to yourself: as a good friend once told me, it's hard to keep going when someone's being mean to you all the time.

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Don't mind me, I'm just thinking about hooking someone up to a heart monitor and edging them based on their heart rate. Watching the numbers on the screen tick higher and higher as you bring them close to finishing, only to pull away once their heart reaches a speed you decide is too fast. They whine and plead for you to put your hands back on them, but their begging only stresses their heart more. You insist you won't touch them again until the rate drops, and they struggle to control their body, filling their lungs with shaky breaths, desperate for their heart to slow when all it wants to do is race. After a few rounds of this, they would be so worked up their heart rate would simply refuse to come down, and it would pound so much harder than usual when you finally allow them to orgasm. ♡

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