#i was literally job searching and looking for ways to make myself useful

[135-film]

so, my aunt and uncle are sending me back to texas for reasons i dont want to delve into (its incredibly, incredibly minor but still VERY triggering to me) and im super like. fucked up about it. lol.

[blitzbuckzowild]

Blitzo and Pirates

I had some more thoughts about Helluva Boss recently and I’m not sure if this is something that has been addressed. A quick google search says no, but obviously that means nothing. Sorry if I’m repeating something that other people have said.

So Blitz maintains his love of horses from childhood right? However, the same cannot be said for his love of Pirates. I would say in the episode “The Circus” his love of pirates is way more prominent than that of horses. It makes sense for him to maintain both of those loves, especially horses as that could be a way to stay connected to Fizzarolli given that he made good balloon horses.

I do still think he likes horses as a kid, seeing as he knew the horse fact about them eating sugar, and then he talks about it later in the episode when he and Stolas are sitting under the tree. But yeah, he seems to really like the action and adventure of pirates. He thinks they’re cool and obviously he talks about them a lot even outside of the episode since Fizz seems exasperated in a way that indicates this is a common occurrence.

So what could have possibly caused Blitzo to lose that interest? I think it’s very clearly shown in the same episode, “The Circus.”

I think it is safe to assume, that when Blitzo is sent to play with Stolas for the day, that robbing the house was not something he had ever done before. He seems so confused and afraid of the idea of even trying to steal, and I don’t think it’s just because they’re royals. I doubt he has even had to do a job like this before just based on his confusion about the whole situation.

Then we look at when he actually goes to the Goetia palace to play with Stolas. He literally uses the idea of playing pirates to trick Stolas into helping him rob the place. Blitzo seems to be having fun during the whole thing, but I am wondering if when the excitement and adrenaline ran out, if he felt guilty. We obviously haven’t seen that, but it seems like a fairly strong theory.

I mean, he does not talk about pirates as an adult like at all (unless I’m forgetting a line), and the only reference we even have to it would be his flintlock pistol and its design, maybe his attire somewhat, but I don’t really think he was going for pirate.

So, this is what I’ve been found myself wondering, if the reason that the idea of pirates have lost their appeal, whereas horses haven’t leads back to feelings of shame around what was probably the first crime he ever committed. Not to mention that he tricked someone who was genuinely kind to him into helping him. I think Blitz downplays the effect his day with Stolas had on him, because how else would he just so happen to remember the Grimoire? I that’s already been talked about. I wonder how often Blitz ruminated on what he had done let himself sit in the shame and guilt and the thought of pirates just remind him of that.

Maybe I’m waaaaay over analyzing this whole thing, but I found it interesting enough to point out and see what other’s think.

[ellieslittlewh0re]

Stripped - modern!ellie x stripper!reader

wk- 8k-ish (it’s worth it)

additional tags: loser!ellie, reader is slightly described (pale, red/light brown hair, literally picture Lana in tropico bc that’s what I used for reference, oral reader! receiving, fingering reader! receiving, gross ass m*en, mutual pinning, implied homophobia (nothing crazy), childhood friends to lovers??, drug! mention, alcohol! mention,college! ellie mentioned, fluff n smut <3

"Ugh- He's is such a fucking creep."

I mouth frustrations under my breath, taking a seat at the vanity in the back room of the club. I pull crinkled wads of money out of the strap of my thong, smoothing the bills as I counted.

"Who is?" A familiar voice asked me with genuine concern. Camilla, also known as Coco by the customers, was a veteran dancer, a motherly type that all the girls that worked here went to for advice.

"Grabby Gary."

She winced at the mention of his name and shook  her head.

"I don't know why they keep letting him in here. He's a fuckin' perv."

I nod in agreement, taking a deep breath before looking in the mirror. My eyes were red, and my body ached from the early hours of the morning. I applied for this job not because I wanted to, but because I figured it would be a good way to make money fast. My mother, being an alcoholic and her deadbeat boyfriend was a violent drunk.

"You got any plans this weekend, baby?"

I felt a boost of energy at her mention, perking my head up with a smile on my face.

"My best friend is coming tomorrow. She left for college a few months ago and I haven't seen her since. We talk everyday, but it's jus' not the same."

I lower my head, pain in my voice as I remember how fucking empty my life felt when she left me behind. I never told my friend this, not wanting to make her feel bad.. I was happy for her. She was smart and passionate, I mean, who was I to get in the way of her education?

"Does she know you dance?"

I suck air behind my teeth, scrunching up my face.

"...no."

I didn't want her to worry about me and I definitely didn't need her shit for it, but it still worried me.

"You work tomorrow, right? Bring her by, and we can feed her free drinks. It will be fine, now get your ass home and get some sleep. You did good today." Coco reassured me, patting the back of my shoulder before going back out to the stage.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I stir in my bed, the afternoon sun flooding my room, making it unbelievably warm due to the Texas summer heat. I fumble with the sheets, kicking them off my sticky skin. I skim my hand along the bed searching for my phone, peeking at the screen through tired eyes.

12:32 p.m.

I mentally groan before squinting at the missed text's notifications, rubbing my eyes to focus my blurry vision.

Ellie<3: Hey- I'm leaving now I'll be there around 1 Delivered 9:56 a.m.

"Shit."

I throw my body forward, scrambling to the bathroom and turning on the shower.

I search my drawers, pulling out whatever is clean. I trip over my feet as I tug on a pair of denim shorts when the vibration of my phone alerted me.

Ellie<3: I'm pulling in now

My heart started to race, excited, but also incredibly nervous. I quickly finish dressing my self, half-running half-speed walking to the front door.

"Okay-" I take a shaky breath, composing myself before turning the door handle.

"Took you long enough." Ellie said sarcastically, flashing me a smile. I could have cried right then, not realizing how much I've missed seeing her face that I lunged at her, wrapping my arms around her in an embrace.

"Damn- you missed me that much?" Ellie laughed, patting my back hesitantly.

I rest my head in the crook of her neck, breathing in her woodsy scent. I felt immediate comfort wash over me, a sense of safety and nostalgia.

I quickly pull back, realizing I definitely held the hug longer than we both anticipated.

I clear my throat, adverting her eyes.

"Uh- how was the drive?"

I encourage her inside and shut the door behind her.

"S' Fine. Nothing note-worthy-" she pauses in the hallway, glancing down at the battered couch.

"He's still here?"

She points to the man sleeping on the couch, stained white tank that was pushed up to his chest, exposing a bloated stomach.

I ignore the obvious disapproval in her voice, grabbing her wrist as I pulled her through the house to my room.

"How's your classes? Do you like them?" I ask her as I shut the door, making sure to lock it.

Dale, my mom's boyfriend was a real prick. Ellie and him have had their fair share of issues. One ending with Ellie punching him in the jaw after he called her a slur.

"Uh- yeah, yeah. They're good. Except for this one class- the teacher is a dick, but other than that, it's good."

She slid her backpack off her shoulder, tossing it to the floor before taking a seat on my bed.

I sit next to her, now feeling suddenly a lot more anxious in the quietness of my room.

"How are things here?" She lowers her head to me, concern raising in her voice.

"Oh- uh.. you know." I fake a laugh, looking down to my hands.

Ellie remained silent for a second, probably catching on that things here where in fact, not great.

"What's up with those?" She grabbed my hand, turning it over and observing the obnoxious set of acrylic nails.

I let out a more genuine laugh, her bewilderment written all over her face as she traced the edges of the nails.

"It's fr' my job. It's kinda a big thing there."

Her eyes break from my hands and look to my face.

"Waitressing requires talons?" Her eyebrows go up, child-like confusion on her features like if you tell a kid anything, they'd believe you.

"No! Oh my god- I quit the restaurant after you left."

She paused and leaned back, waiting for an explanation. I bit my lip before taking a deep breath, pausing before opening my mouth.

"I work at a club.. like a night club kinda place."

I held my breath as I examined her face, her eyes darting between mine.

"Doing what?"

Ellie's eyes narrowed, her mouth tightening into a straight line.

"It's not a big deal. I actually have a shift tonight and was hoping you'd come. You can drink for free."

My voice strained, desperate to get her on board for the sake of me needing her to understand my position.

Ellie nostrils flared through rapid breaths, stone facing me before looking away.

"So you're a stripper?" Ellie sighed deeply as she rubbed between her eyebrows.

"... yeah." 

Ellie leans forward, elbows resting on her knees, looking around the room before taking a deep breath.

"A stripper? You're barely 19!"

Her voice grows louder out of anger, clearly not approving of my choices.

"I know, I know... but I need to move out. I can't stand living here, Ellie! After you left shit just got more fucked." 

I flail my hands before tucking them back into my lap. I needed her to understand. I needed her to realize how desperate I was and that I didn't take this job just for the experience.

Ellie remind silent for a minute, taking in my explanation.

"I'm sorry- it's just.. I hate the idea of you dancing around naked."

"It's not like that... I mean I'm not completely naked."

I laugh in an attempt to lighten the mood. Ellie cracked a smile, but it didn't seem sincere.

"Will you come tonight? It would help knowing you were there." I ask her, dipping my head down.

Ellie pauses before answering, mentally analyzing how it would play out.

"Yeah I'll go.. but only to beat guys up if they look at you for too long." She said smugly, nudging her shoulder into mine.

"That's literally what I got hired for."

I roll my eyes, trying to down play the heat rising in my cheeks.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I see you still drive that sad excuse for a car."

My eyes remained glued to the screen, taunting Ellie as we played an out-dated version of call of duty zombies on my PlayStation, killing time before I have to get ready.

"It's not sad! It's a Mustang." Her voice pitched, defending her prized possession.

"Yeah... a 2005 Mustang that almost killed you and drained your bank account." I roll my eyes, spamming buttons on the controller.

Amongst our bickering, we lose our concentration causing a horde of zombies to down us both.

The colors on the tv screen loses saturation and text on the screen read: game over you survived 12 rounds

"Aw man. This is totally your fault."

I open my mouth to argue Ellies claim when the door handle rattles, and aggressive banging followed.

"Why the hell is your door lock?! Who's in there with you?" A loud male voice creeped through the  hinges.

I stood up and walk towards the door, turning back to give Ellie a look of "please be cool" before slowly opening the door.

"The hell is all that noise fr?" Dale grumbled, looking rougher than usual. His eyes look behind me into my room, eyes going wide as he saw Ellie, who gave him a wave and a shit eating smile which definitely did not help the situation.

"What the fuck is she doin' here?"

I take a deep breath, putting myself in front of him to crate a barrier in case shit goes south.

"She's jus' staying for the weekend, okay? That's it."

His eyes bulged out of his head, veins becoming more prominent against his now red face.

"Bull fuckin' shit she is! This is MY house."

Dale yells, pouting a finger in no particular direction.

"The only thing you own is a spot on the sex offender registry." Ellie rebuttals. I'd admit it's a good burn, but holy fuck, this was the opposite of being chill.

"The fuck did she jus' say t' me?!"

Dale pushes himself past the door, shoving me out of the way as he v-lined for Ellie.

I grab Dale by the arm, using my body weight to hold him from getting closer to Ellie, who didn't seem affected, if anything, she looked amused.

"Dale- Dale please calm down... she didn't mean it, okay? Just please stop." I spoke calmly to him like I've done so many times in the past when he got this way.

Dale silenced his yelling, looking to me as he breathed heavily, blood shot eyes and a slight twitch in his eyebrow.

I put on a brave face, having done this repeatedly over the last 3 years that he and my mom have been dating.

"She will be gone tomorrow, okay? I'm sorry I should've told you... I can talk to Chris at the club and see what he has, okay?" I spoke sweetly to him even though it made me feel physically sick.

He didn't respond, eyes darting between me and Ellie, then back to be before he stomped out of the room.

"The hell did you say that for?" I huffed, rubbing my eye, and walked over to Ellie, plopping down next to her on the bed.

"Because I hate him." Ellie responded sternly, looking at me like I was dumb for asking such a question.

"No shit, but the least you can do is be in your best behavior, for my sake. I'm the one who has to live with him."

My words came out rushed, annoyed that she wasn't understanding how uncomfortable living in this house truly was.

The way my mom was black out drunk for days on end, how Dale would sneak around outside my room in an attempt to catch me undressing, not to mention the smashing bottles on the wall or the never ending psychological abuse Dale carried out.

"You're right. M' sorry. That was a dick move. I promise I'll be good."

Ellie held her hands up, one over her chest and the other in the air, signaling a sarcastic attempt to keep her promise.

I roll my eyes and bit my inner cheek to hide a smile. I missed her goofy self, the smug way she would tease to cheer me up.

"Okay, fine...you're forgiven'."

I flash a smile, looking at my phone to cheek the time.

"Shit- I gotta start gettin' ready. Do you have to get ready?" I stand, waking to my closest.

"Uh- I don't know, do I?" Ellie asked, sounding concerned that she had no idea how to dress for a strip club.

I look back at her, observing her outfit more closely. A checkered blue and white flannel with a simple white t-shirt underneath, dark washed denim jeans that hung tight to her legs paired with her signature high top converse that she couldn't live without. She looked good.. like really good. No matter what she wore, I always found myself admiring her, even when we were young. She was effortlessly cool to the point it was annoying to me.

"I-I think you're good. I mean, you're a customer. You can wear whatever, I guess."

I turn back around, shuffling through the designated spot in my closet that I lovingly refer to as "skin rash central". Sequins and feathers and other skimpy clothes that look like discarded scrapes from a Victoria secret factory.

"Ugh- don't call me that."

Ellie winces at the choice of words. Customer. She didn't want to be a customer at a strip club where her childhood best friend worked. It felt wrong like she was crossing an invisible line. Only ever dreaming about the possibility if that line were to break, disappear completely, and the term friends would be replaced with something else.

"Don't worry, you don't have to throw money at me... although I wouldn't be opposed to it-"

Ellie shifts uncomfortable in her seat, clearing her throat to hide the fact her cheeks began to burn hot from my comment.

"Im gonna' get ready... uh- make yourself comfortable." I said, motioning my arms in a way that was meant to be funny, but I realized how stupid I must have looked.

Ellie laughs anyway, nodding and shooing me out of the room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Okay... lookin' good."

I turn around, observing myself in the spectacle mirror. A red lingerie set that I've worn a few times before, bows and ribbon that dangled across bare skin. Makeup is simple. Classic. Flawless skin with a wing liner, and big eyelashes that complimented the shape of my eyes. A few carefully placed fake beauty marks along my jaw and below my eye. I decided to keep my hair down, letting the length fall to the lower part of my back, loose, big curls that shaped my face and shoulders.

I take a few deep breaths, leaning my hands against the sink.

"You got this. It's just like very other night." I tell myself quietly in the mirror.

I throw on a jacket and sweatpants, not wanting to reveal myself to Ellie quite yet in case she loses her shit.

"Hey- sorry. I know I took forever. You ready?" I return to the room, glancing to my phone to check the time.

9:47 pm

When she didn't respond right away, I looked up to see why she wasn't responding. To my surprise she was already looking at me, more specifically my face.

"Ellie?" I snap my fingers at her, breaking her trance.

Ellie flinches, blinking her eyes a few times.

"Huh? Oh- yeah. I'm ready." Ellie clears her throat, wiping her sweaty palms on her jeans.

Her behavior confused me, she was nervous when I came back into the room. I figured it was because she was not use to seeing me all glammed up, considering she knew me when I was a little girl, playing in the mud, catching bugs and reptiles in the creek behind the house. 

"Can we take your car? Dale is gon' kill me if I take his truck again." I asked her, focusing on putting an extra pair of shoes in my duffel bag.

"Yeah, that's cool... uh where is the club located?"

I rushed to my vanity, spraying ungodly amounts of sweet smelling perfume along my body and clothes. Panic was starting to kick in. Anxious that this was defiantly not like every other shift. My best friend was going to be there, to watch me dance half-naked for other people's pleasure.

"Further into the city. Don't worry I'll tell you directions. Traffic might be kinda bad though so we need to leave." I finish putting on deodorant, slugging my bad over my shoulder, dragging Ellie along by her hand out of the house and down the driveway to her car.

"Do you want to play music?" Ellie asked, holding the aux cord.

I happily obliged, shuffling through playlists I made specifically for her. I find one that felt just right, clicking it and waiting for her recognize the beat.

"Oh shit! So it's that kinda night, huh?"

Ellie cranked the volume up, tapping the steering wheel with her hand and started to sing along.

I watch her with a warmness building in my heart. Seeing how happy she was listening to a song we have both heard hundreds of times.

It felt like we were teenagers again, driving around in this same car, having no destination in mind as we blasted borderline obnoxious tunes. Ellie was always older, not just physically but mentally.

I realized my feelings for her when I was 15, and she was 17 going on 18. I could never tell her it would just put her in an awkward situation and possibly ruin our friendship, and I definitely didn't want that.

"Turn left at this light and the club will be on the right side. You can't miss it, it has a bright ass pink neon sign out front."

I bit my lip, feeling insecure about the location of this place, not realizing before how fucking sketchy this part of town was.

Ellie turns the car into a parking spot, killing the engine and took a deep breath.

"You forgot to mention it was in east side."

"...sorry. It's not that bad, I promise."

I look down to my phone, checking the time.

"Oh good! We're kinda early. You can get a drink before I go on." I say a little too excitedly, my thought process being she can get shit faced while I worked, in case I make an ass of myself.

I exit the car, tossing my bag over my shoulder and start heading towards the doors. I stopped, realizing Ellie wasn't right behind me, I turn around.

"What's wrong?" I ask her with a puzzled look.

Ellie's face lit up a pink hue from the sign, her eyes fixated on the building.

"Wha- nothing... nothing. I'm comin'." Ellie words faltered, her head hanging low as she made her way to where I was.

I push open the blurred glass door and examine the crowd. It was fairly busy, considering it wasn't even midnight yet, which is when people started to flood in.

"Hey doll- you're early." Coco greeted me, placing a hand on my shoulder. I greeted her with a smile, genuinely happy to see her face.

"Yeah, I thought traffic would be bad-" a awkward silence formed between the three of us, Ellie looking at me and then down to the floor.

Coco sensed Ellie's lack of experience in a strip club, looking at her and holding a well manicured hand out.

"You must be the best friend. I'm Camilla. It's good to finally meet you. She talks about you all the time."

Ellie shook her hand, focusing heavy on her face to avoid looking at what little clothing she was wearing.

"Oh does she?" She let out a nervous laugh, breaking the hand shake and wedging herself behind me. I was humored by how Ellie was acting. Nervous and in full gay panic, being surrounded by a bunch of girls that were half-clothed.

"I'll leave you to it. Have a good night-" Coco kisses my cheek and then points to Ellie, who straightened her stance immediately like she was meeting the president.

"And you, take care of her tonight. She's good at what she does, but she's a magnet for trouble." Coco turns and disappears into the club, leaving the two of us standing awkwardly by the entrance.

I shake my head, covering my face with my hands out of embarrassment.

"Magnet for trouble?" Ellie repeats her words, a smug tone hinted in her voice as she teased me.

"Don't- just... don't. Now, c'mon let's go get a drink." I grab her wrist, pulling her though the club towards the bar.

"2 shots of tequila please."

I leaned over the bar, kicking my feet like a kid in a candy shop.

Fez, the bartender gave me a stern look, rolling his eyes.

"You can't drink yet, doll. We've been over this." He shook his finger at me, trying to sound serious, but he was a gentle giant, sweet and very easily manipulated.

"C'monnnn please. It's a special occasion."

I blink wide eyed at him, pouting my bottom lip.

Fez shook his head, taking a deep breath and pretended to think hard about it.

"Fine... but I swear this is the last time. No more." He turned, slapping two shot glasses down on the bar and filled them to the brim, letting some spill over onto the counter.

I scootch the glasses closer, holding one up for Ellie, which she takes hesitantly. Her one eyebrow raise, and a smirk on her face as she brings the shot to her lips, throwing her head back as she downs the liquor. I copy her motions, swallowing the liquid, feeling it burn my throat as it made it way down.

"Awh- ohmygod... that's foul." I choke out, scrunching my face and pushing the shit glass away.

Ellie was unfazed by the taste, not flinching  in the slightest.

"You're such a baby." She giggles, shaking me by my shoulder.

"Sorry I'm not a frat boy like you." I snark back, feeling pretty pleased with my remark.

Ellie rolls her eyes playfully to make me feel like I won that conversation.

I pull my phone out of my pocket, letting the screen light up.

"Shit- uh I need to get ready for my set. You can stay here and keep drinking- or if you get hungry, I can ask the guys in the back to make you something?" I ramble, covering all my bases to make Ellie as comfortable as possible.

"I'm fine! Just go do your thing." Ellie let's out a laugh, shooing me away. I give her one last worried look before turning away and walking through the club, maneuvering around people and squeezing between chairs and tables.

I get rid of my jacket and sweatpants, switching out my vans for platform heels. Red to match my outfit, straps that accentuate the top of my foot and up my ankle. I button the straps, flexing my foot to make sure it wasn't pinching the thin skin.

I sat at the vanity, the bright bulbs around the mirror gave me a headache. My nerves were spiraling.

I planned my dances tonight with Ellie in mind as a way to welcome her, to still embarrass her even if the two of us were the only ones who knew. "White mustang" by Lana del Rey was my first song, a little inside joke for both of us, that leaked into "summer bummer" purely because that song made me want to dance, not think too hard. Just dance.

"Fuck. Okay, you got this. Jus' go out there and dance. You've done it dozens of times. No biggie."  I voice words of encouragement to myself, wiping  smudged lipstick from the corner of my mouth.

I coax myself with deep breaths, going through the motions of trying to calm the uneasy feeling in my stomach.

"Doll, you're on."

I look at my co-worker, meeting her eyes through the reflection of the mirror. One last deep breath and I walk through the door, leaving the safety of the break/ hair and makeup room.

I walked slowly, carefully as possible to the stairs of the stage, scared I'd break an ankle in my uneasy footsteps. I kept my head low, scanning the crowd to look for Ellie. Lights strobing shades of pink and red, a haze building from the cigars that were being smoked.

My heels clunked the wood stage floor as I take position on the pole, holding it with one hand as I casually swung around it, waiting for my song to start. Yelling and whistling from the handful of men that gathered closest to the stage. I smile at them, waving playfully while still peeking looks in hopes I'd find my friend.

The first cords of the song started to play. I switch to my professional personality, becoming more serious and seductive. I parade myself around the pole, letting my legs fall wide as I leaned against. Dollar bills started to float onto the stage, hooting and hollering as I caressed my body. I engage with the men, bending over in front of them to show them something worth their time.

From the outside, I looked like I was doing my job and doing it well, but internally I was panicking. I couldn't find the one person I wanted to see, but at the same time, if she was watching and I couldn't see her, it was a new nightmare. Curious to know what her face looked like as she saw her once, innocent, childhood best friend.

Ellie waited as patiently as she could, finding a dark corner of the club where less people were. She sipped on a whiskey she ordered, leaned up against a wall.

A sudden burst of cheers and hollering caused Ellie to jerk her head in the direction where it was coming from. A women was walking into the stage, playfully hanging off the pole. The lights made it hard to make out at first, but upon seeing the light brown, almost copper tinted hair, Ellie's eyes widened, almost choking on her drink.

This was a side to her best friend she has never seen before, skin that Ellie's eyes have never been graced by before, at least not to this extent.

Sure, when they were younger they'd change in front of one another, but Ellie always turned away, scared that her friend would notice the changing hues of her cheeks.

Arms stretched outward towards her like a painting depicting a religious experience, and to be honest it felt like one to Ellie. These men begged for the touch of her hand, the words on her lips, but Ellie was the only one who knows what it was like.

The way she smiles so brightly, laughs so fully like she wanted the whole world to hear. How clumsy she truly was even though she danced so gracefully on the stage.

I prance in my heels all over the stage, trying not to make it obvious was trying to avoid the shining lights in my face to look for Ellie. I squint towards the back of the bar. Her familiar frame came into focus, leaning against a wall like she worked here as a bodyguard.

I wave at her, excited to finally have found her. Ellie does a double take before pointing to herself . I nod, not caring that this wasn't part of the routine as I usher her closer to the stage.

Ellie carefully comes closer, stopping a couple of feet behind the handful of men that surrounded the stage. I felt a burst of energy seeing her, knowing that she was still here.

I lower myself to my hands and knees, crawling forward to the men that clasped bills in their fingers. I lay in front of them, arching my back against the scuffed floor, letting money drape over my face.

Ellie held her breath as she watched, never looking away, hell not even blinking, scared she'd miss even a second of the show.

I get back into my knees, hovering above the paying customers as they place the bills in the straps of my thong and bra, letting it snap back only to be repeated. I diverted my attention away from my patrons to meet Ellie, her eyes heavily glued to me. I raise a finger, pointing it at her and curling it, signaling that I wanted her to come closer.

To my surprise she takes a few more steps forward, shimming between the men who gave her dirty glares in return, but she didn't care. Out of everyone here tonight, Ellie was the one who had all of your attention.

Ellie positions herself front and center of the stage. I crawl closer, leaving only a few inches between our faces.

🎶 the day I saw your white mustang-🎶

Ellie's realization of the song made her crack a smile. Even under the colored lights, I could tell she was blushing, cheeks red making her freckles more prominent. I felt my own cheeks cramp, a wide grin on my lips that I definitely couldn't hide.

I watch Ellie's hand disappear into her back pocket, pulling out crisp bills, and slowly, her hand moves to my chest, using her other hand to open the top of my bra as she inserts it gently, smoothing her finger over my cleavage before she retracts her touch.

"You suck-" I mouth to her, rolling my eyes playfully. My body jittery and my heart thumped loudly against my chest. Without much thought, I leaned down from the stage, planting a kiss to her cheek, which left a very prominent lipstick stain to her pale complexion.

My ears perk up to the changing of the song, feeling much more upbeat after our interaction, I jump up and blow Ellie a kiss, which she pretends to grab before she took a few steps back.

I carry on through my set, shaking my ass more energetically to match the vibe of the music. Dollar bills of various worths littered the stage.

Ellie watched from further away, her eyes loom in my direction as she babied her drink, not wanting to risk forgetting this night.

Ellie didn't try to hide how she bit down on her lip, eyes studying the movements of my hips or how I extended my neck to the side, leaving the exposed skin on display for her imagining how she wanted to mark it.

"So... whaddya think?" I ask out of breath from rushing off of the stage as soon as the song ended.

Ellie opens her mouth and closes it again as her face contorted, trying to figure out what to say that was both respectful, and didn't come off pervy.

"I see why that lady said you attract trouble."

I give her a confused look, tilting my head to the side.

"Huh?"

Ellie purses her lips before making a tsk tsk sound with her mouth.

"You were- unreal... it kinda scares me how incredible you were up there." Ellie looks away, rubbing her thumb over the back of her hand that held her drink.

I feel my face heat up, a giddy sensation building inside me.

"I mean I wouldn't go that far, but thank you Els. It means a lot comin' from you." I said sweetly, interlocking my fingers behind me as I rocked back in forth on my toes. I felt like I was in school all over again... like when you have a crush on someone that's way out of your league, but they talk to you anyways.

"Hey doll, Gerald wants a private dance." Camellia interrupts us, sounding slightly apologetic.

"Ugh- fine." I groan, rolling my eyes.

"I'll be right back. Don't go anywhere!" I yell back to ellie as I walked towards the champagne room.

Ellie didn't love the idea of you giving someone a lap dance. She wanted to hold you back, prevent you from walking away, but she didn't because after all, this was your job.... The idea of some old man grabbing you and fantasizing about how he would touch you made Ellie sick.

Ellie waited for your return as patiently as she could. Uneasiness was sinking in, causing her to sip from her glass at a faster pace. She felt a new sensation kicking in as she waited. Maybe it was a sense that she needed to protect you, keep you safe, but no, that wasn't it. It was jealousy. A possessive urge to keep you at arms length. It was a feeling that Ellie desperately tried detaching herself from for a number of years.

"Sorry! That took longer than it should've." I say to Ellie, stumbling back to her slightly out of breath.

"It's fine. When does your shift end?" Ellie's tone shifted. She sounded annoyed, frustrated even.

"Uh... soon." I answer weakly, uncertain why Ellie was acting different towards me.

Ellie didn't seem thrilled with my answer, looking down at her now empty glass and avoiding my face.

"If you want, I can see if I can leave early? It's slowin' down now. I don't think it should be a problem."

Ellie lifted her head, looking at me with wide eyes. Her face lit up at my suggestion, but quickly dwindled.

"You don't have to-"

"Hush. I want to. Plus, I want to spend as much time with as possible... jus' the two of us." I cut her off mid sentence. It was the truth. I didn't want to waste our only time together, not knowing when I'd see her again.

Ellie smiled, her eyes burn into mine causing me to want to lean into her, but she clears her throat when she realized how our gaze lingered.

"Let me go ask." I tell Ellie, resting a hand on her bicep before I turn to leave her again.

"Please! I'm literally beggin' you. Just this once- I won't ask again." I pleaded, holding my hands to my chest, interlocking my fingers in a prayer.

Warren. Aka boss man, looked me up and down, and took a deep breath before rubbing the meaty part between his eyebrows.

"Look- doll. You haven't been working here long enough to be making such requests."

"-and it won't happen again. I swear." I bat my eyelashes a few times in hopes he'd show me some mercy.

There was a few seconds of silence, Warren looked at me and then down to the papers strewn about his desk.

"Fine, but I expect good things from you from here on out. No more slacking."

"Thank you! I promise I will." I rushed over, planting a kiss on his cheek before running out of them room.

I strut over to Ellie, not giving her any time to react as I take her hand in mine and march us out of the building towards her car.

"I guess that's a yes?" Ellie asked, a smug tone hinted on her lips.

"Let's get the fuck out of here." I smile at her as I open the car door.

Ellie does the same, picking a song before she reverses out of the parking spot.

The neon glow of the club's sign was fading behind us as we drove away, windows rolled down to let the cooler breeze of the night swirl around us. This felt like everything I could ever need, ever want. I was happy with just this. The only person who ever looked out for me, who ever cared about me is by my side. I felt safe and loved by her, not really caring if she loved me the same way I loved her.

"I'm sorry I left you." Ellie breaks the silence, turning down the volume of the music so she wouldn't have to yell.

"What? No, don't be sorry. You grew up and so did I. There's nothin' to be sorry about." My voice grew weak as I spoke. It hurt to be reminded that she wasn't a permanent person in my life anymore.

Ellie didn't know what to say to that. She felt the hurt in your voice as you spoke and of how you shifted in your seat. Ellie glanced at you from time to time in her peripheral, taking note how you were still in your 'work' clothes. She quickly reframed herself from starring too hard from how little was being covered.

You turned away from Ellie in the car as you looked out the window, feeling a sense of dread that the night was coming to a close and Ellie would have to leave in the morning.

I felt the engine turn off, an ear piercing silence followed as we both made no effort to get out of the car.

"You ready?" Ellie asked, her voice quiet and gentle.

I nodded, opening the car door and walking up the driveway with Ellie close behind.

Reaching the door, I took out my keys, holding them up to the lock as I took a deep breath, praying that the house was quiet and everyone was asleep or simply just gone.

I creep open the door, listening for any movement and when it felt safe I motioned the coast was clear to Ellie. I shut the door behind us, taking off my heels to prevent the clunking sound on the tile floor.

"Thank-fucking-god." I sigh, falling back into bed, looking up at the plastered ceiling of my room.

"I can't wait to leave and never see this stupid ceiling again."

Ellie lowers herself onto the mattress beside me and looks up to where my eyes fixated before looking down at me.

"Me too." Ellie said absentmindedly, eyes lingering over the skin on your lower stomach and chest.

"Can you bring me with you? I can sleep in your closet or something... people have pets that they hide in there dorms, right?"

I laugh to make it sound like a joke, but it wasn't.

"Trust me. I wish I could." Ellie bit her lip. She couldn't hide how seeing you so close like this and so exposed made her feel. How your breasts pooled over your bra, how the skin between your legs looked so soft and malleable.

I sat up and looked to Ellie when I noticed how her demeanor had changed. Her eyes, usually a bright green where now much darker, more intimidating. My eyes drift to her lips, slightly swollen and glistened from her spit.

Fuck.

I divert my eyes from her face, feeling slightly uncomfortable by how much my body was reacting to her. My thighs squeezed together, my heart pounding and I couldn't stop thinking how much much I wanted to kiss her.

That's when I look at her arms.

Her fucking arms.

The sleeves of the flannel she wore were rolled up to below her elbows, exposing the tattoo on her forearm. The veins in her hand were prominent, trailing upward to her long fingers.

"Fuck-" My inner dialogue slipped, coming out as a whisper.

"I mean-" I try to cover my ass, praying my horny fucking brain to come up with anything, but it was too late.

Ellie leaned forward, putting her arms on either side of me, forcing me to lay back on the bed.

"Are you doing this on purpose?" She asked, tilting her head to the side as a smirk grew on her lips. Her voice sounded different. Low and sensual, unlike I've ever heard from her before.

My breath hitched just from her voice alone, the heat building in my core as she hovered over me.

"Wha- what do you mean?" I stutter, confused and at the same time feeling the effects of the atmosphere change in the room.

Ellie leaned closer, dipping her head so she was inches from my face.

"Still wearing this." Ellie raised her hand, bring her fingers to the strap of my bra and tugging on it.

"Maybe I am." I said barely above a whisper, grabbing her wrist and guided her hand to my stomach before moving it upwards to my chest, encouraging her to touch me.

Ellie's face changed from lust to genuine confusion, eyebrows furrowed and she studied my face.

"This isn't funny."

I shake my head weakly, squeezing her hand that was cupped around my breast.

"I'm not joking, Els. I want you to. Always have."

I bring her hand up and kiss the back of it, making deep eye contact as I leave wet, and sloppy kisses to her skin.

Ellie held her breath as she watched you underneath her, so beautiful and so eager for her touch. Ellie couldn't hold back anymore, all these years of repressing her feelings for you were coming to the surface.

I look up at Ellie, making slow circular motions with my hips as I imagined how Ellie's fingers would feel inside and that was her breaking point. Ellie pulled her hand away, forcing mine above my head as she leaned down and closed the empty space between us.

I moan into her mouth, feeling her lips on mine finally after all these years of only ever dreaming about this moment.

Ellie's lips move sloppily against mine, her tongue grazing over my teeth and exploring the spongy walls inside my mouth.

Ellie breaks away and looks at me, panting slightly from the passionate kiss.

"Are you sure?"

Her eyes were wide, and her brows turned upward. A puppy dog-like expression on Ellie's face caused me to smile, seeing how hard she was holding back just to make sure I was okay.

I simply nodded, reaching up and holding her face to bring her back down to reconnect our lips.

Her hands roamed by body, squeezing my breasts tenderly, but firmly. I did the same to the little amount of skin I could. Lacing my fingers around her forearm, sinking my nails into the flesh.

"Can you take this off? I wanna touch you." I pull away from her lips out of breath, tugging at the hem of her shirt.

Ellie wasted no time, sitting up on her knees and pulling the flannel off her arms, tossing it to the floor.

I gawk at the sight of her as she pulls her shirt over her head, discarding it to the side in one swift motion.

Ellie's stomach was flat and toned, defined ridges that outline her subtle abs that led downwards into a 'v' above the waistband of her jeans.

I bit my lip as I watched, taking in the sight of her.

I bring my hand up and grip the loop in her jeans, pulling her down to taste her again.

I let my fingers slip into her waistband, touching the uncharted territory. Ellie pulls away before I could feel her further, a hungry look in her eyes as her impatience grew.

"What are you doing?" Her voice was low and raspy like pop rocks, igniting your mouth with its rigid edges and leaving a sweet coating on your tongue.

"I wanna feel you." I whine, reaching up to palm her breasts over her sports bra. Ellie let out a muffled whine from the contact, shutting her eyes as she felt me drag a nail over her harden peak.

"You're drivin' me crazy. You know that?-" Ellie says, letting out a low chuckle before weighing out her options.

"Only if I can feel you." Ellie says, negotiating with me as her hand hovered down my stomach, giving me goosebumps as her fingers trickled down the skin.

I nod enthusiastically, gripping the sheets beside my head tighter as I felt her hand palm my pussy, rolling the heel of her hand against my clit.

"Fuu- you're this wet already? I bet I can slip right in.." Her hand continued to grind against the thin fabric.

My back arches under her, swirling my hips against her hand.

"Mm- El... please." I moan, looking up at her with a pained expression. 

"Please, what? Use your words, baby." Ellie said smugly, toying with me as she removed her hand, causing me to cry out from the lack of friction.

"T-touch me. I wan' you in-inside." I stutter over my words, my body wringing beneath her.

"Atta girl."

Ellie lowered herself once again, kissing me deeply, sucking my bottom lip before biting it between her teeth.

I feel Ellie's hand roam my body, tugging and gripping at various parts before she sipped her hand underneath my underwear. Her fingers skimmed along my folds, my slick coating her fingers before she circled around my clit.

My nails dig into the back of her shoulders, breaking the skin but not enough to make her bleed as she picked up the pace on my clit.

My lower stomach clenched and tensed, the heat pilling between my legs and I craved more.

"Ellie- empty.. I need you to fill-"

I was cut off by Ellie's fingers plunging into me over and over again as her fingers curled against my cervix with each thrust. Ellie paused, but only partially as she yanked down my underwear before fucking into me once more.

"FUuu mm-" I cry out, but it was muffled by Ellie's free hand covering my mouth, her fingers digging into my cheeks.

"Shh baby... you have to be quiet." Ellie growled into my ear before kissing the corner of my eye. Tears began to spill down my face from the force of her hand slamming against my cunt. 

I nod as she removed her hand from my mouth, letting it fall to my throat as she gently squeezed it.

I bit the back of my hand, sinking my teeth into the skin as I held back my moans.

"Good girl... such a good girl-" Ellie cooed, placing the occasional sweet and delicate kisses on my face, which didn't line up with what she was doing to my aching core.

Wet sloshes filled the room along with my muted whines from behind Ellie's lips.

I felt a bubbling sensation rising inside me, my mind becoming fuzzy and blank. I felt like I had no control over my body, my limbs becoming stiff  as my eyes roll to the back of my head.

"Els- I'm gonna-" I barely mutter, breaking away from her kiss as my head falls back, pressing deep into the mattress beneath me.

"Cum fr' me, baby girl." Ellie encouraged, her fingers slipping deeper into my cunt with each blow.

I squeeze her bicep, sinking my nails into the freckled skin. Occasional moans that I try hold back escape my lips, no thanks to Ellie. My jaw hung open as I lift my head to watch her fingers disappear then reappear inside me. I couldn't take it anymore, my head rolls back, my eyes shoot to the back of my brain as my stomach tenses, my hips rising with her fingers that continue to fuck into me as she rode out my climax.

I lay on the bed as my cunt continued to throb, taking deep and uneven breaths to try to calm the tingling sensation I felt all throughout my body.

The springs of the mattress creak as Ellie lays down next to me.

"You okay?" Ellie asked, sounding scared like a little kid that got caught stealing candy.

I roll my head over to look at her, her eyes wide and bright that how I always remembered them.

"Yes. I'm more than okay."

I turn my body to face hers, brining my fingers up to tuck a stand of hair behind her ear.

We lay there in silence for what feels like an eternity and I would I've been okay with that. Our hands danced over the skin of our faces, memorizing every curve and line.

"I don't want you to go." I said weakly, almost crying just thinking about her departure.

Ellie cupped my hand that rested on her cheek with her own, rubbing small circles with her thumb to the back of it.

"I know-"

I felt my eyes begin to well and I quickly try to blink them away, but it just made it worse. Tears fall down my cheek and my nose as I softly sobbed.

"Hey- shh.. shhh. It's okay." Ellie soothed me, pulling me into her. I bury my face into her chest as she held me. Her hand soothed over my head, patting it softly as she raked through my hair with her fingers.

I sniffle, pulling away to look at her again.

"I'll be okay. It's just- hard without you here."

Ellie's heart was breaking as she watched you crumble beside her. Your usual carefree and happy self was just a mask that you wore, a mask to make everything seem good and normal when that was the opposite of your life.

Ellie didn't want to leave you just as much as you didn't want her to leave. She couldn't stand the thought of not being able to take care of you, see you everyday and to have you within reach at all times.

Ellie took a shaky breath, unsure if what she was about to say was out of bounds.

"I've been looking at apartments off campus-"

My eyes lit up at Ellie words, confused at first, but equally as excited to know where this was going.

"And if... you want to come live with me in Houston-"

I pounce on top of Ellie, cutting her off before she could finish her sentence.

"Yes! Of fuckin' course I want to live with you!"

My voice became loud and high pitched from my excitement, planting kisses over her forehead and cheeks before I bring my lips to hers, kissing her harder and longer than I intended.

"Okay, okay.. easy there." Ellie laughed, pushing me away to catch her breath.

"I promise I'll get a job and I'll cook and clean-"

Ellie brought her finger to my lips, silencing my rambles.

"Don't worry about that shit, okay? I'm gonna take care of you." Her hand cupped my face, soothing her thumb over my temple.

I fall into her chest, holding her tight, and she did the same. Tears fell from my eyes, not out of sadness from her leaving, but from the happiness that every bad thing that I've ever gone through was going to be that of the past, and now I have something good to look forward to.

"Shit!" I throw my head up, leaving her chest.

Ellie tilted her head, eyebrows raised in confusion from my sudden movements.

"I didn't get to touch you."

Ellie laughed from the genuine disappointment in my voice, pulling me back down to kiss me.

"Don't worry. There will be plenty of time for that."

[livesworthlivingau]

Behind the Vale Chapter 12

ISAT Spoilers below and Two-Hats! CW: Dysphoria

"How about this one? OH! Or this one?! No wait! This one is gorgeous!" [You practically squeal at all the lovely outfits on display in the tailor shop you found in the next town over. You were in the presence of a true master of their craft, and in awe at all of their work.]

"Vale, sweetie, you've been going back and forth for an hour and haven't even tried anything on... I'm sorry but I'm gonna have to recommend that we move it along, please." [You pout in response, it was rather clear she didn't appreciate true fashion like you, but she was right that your indecision was getting to be a bit much.]

"Fine, fine, you're right... It's just such a big decision! I haven't gotten to pick an outfit for myself in a long while..." [Your voice trails off, looking down over your star infused form. You place a hand to the star on your chest, very warm to the touch as always...]

"Vale?... You good?"

"Hmm? Oh yes, just uhh... lost in thought... I think I know what I want now~." [You say, returning to a rack you spent a while glancing through. You pull out an outfit with a lovely dark vest with coat tails, a loose shirt with puffy frills at the ends of the sleeves, a lovely pair of dress pants, and a cravat to go with it all. You also find a pair of half lightless half darkless gloves and heeled dress shoes to go with it all.]

[Several minutes later you finally emerge, all gussied up and gorgeous, flaunting about the room to show it off. Nille just laughs at your display before clapping some.]

"Okay, okay, I gotta admit you look crabbin' fantastic. There goes our whole rainy day fund with it though."

"Oh don't you worry yourself about that, we can always pick up more odd jobs here and there. Besides Vaugarde is known for it's hospitality~!" [You assure her, to which she rolls her eyes a bit but shrugs.]

"Alright alright, you've sold me. Besides wearin' that is probably the first time I've seen you REALLY smile since we met." [... You don't respond to that one, just looking away and going back to the mirror, admiring your new outfit. You glance up, looking into your own eyes to see that genuine softness Nille was talking about... Huh... Maybe we could make a life for ourselves... If not for this damned star head...]

"Heh... I guess you're right... It's so nice to be able to express myself again~."

"Glad to hear it, Vale. You ready to head out? We still gotta find Bonnie, remember?"

"Right, right, of course~! Don't worry, I haven't forgotten~!" [You reassure them, paying for your new threads and gathering all of your belongings to head out once more.]

[You stand at the edge of town... pausing for a moment. You close your eyes and take in a long, deep breath. You focus on your connection with Stardust, getting the vaguest sense of them in the direction of the right path...]

"Vale? Which way are we heading?" [You stare down the right path... your heart races... There's no harm is us taking a bit longer, right? Who knows how long we'd be searching for them either way... we can keep this going for a bit longer... we don't have to say goodbye...]

"Left, I... I don't like the aura the right path gives off~." [You wave your hand dismissively at the path, heading down the opposite way. Nille just rolls her eyes at your little display before following along.]

---------------------------------------------------

[Nille sleeps soundly in her sleeping bag while you camped out that night. You couldn't sleep... maybe it's the guilt of thinking you deserve happiness... You head over to the lake near where you had setup camp. You look down into it to see yourself... your beautiful outfit from neck to toe... and your blinding face, quite literally, staring right back at you...]

[You suddenly snap out of it, getting the ringing sensation in your hand that happens whenever Stardust calls you... Stars, why now... Against your better judgement, you bring your hand up to your head and silently listen...]

("Loop?… Can you talk to me?… Please?… I just want to know you're okay…") [Your other arm drapes around yourself, just holding yourself close as you feel shame even hearing their voice again...]

("Do you remember that time... I forgot Mirabelle's name?… I was so freaked out, all I could think to do was call you for help… Without a second thought, you helped me… you helped me remember everyone's names, their nicknames even, and why I started using them… You brought me back from the edge, and it helped keep me going… I don't think I ever thanked you for that… So thank you, Loop… Thank you for keeping me going when I thought I couldn't anymore…")

"... Stardust..." [Your hand slaps over your mouth as the words simply escape without your approval, panicking and feeling tears flowing down your face.]

("Loop?! Loop where are you?! Are you alri-") [You quickly pull your hand away and shake the gesture off, ending the connection immediately. You fall to your knees, holding yourself as tears keep pouring from your eye...]

"Stars... Stars why do I still care?! Why can't I just blinding leave you behind?!" [You shout to the lake, sobbing heavily.]

"... Vale?... Wh... What's wrong?" [Nille sits up sleepily, rubbing at her eyes. You shudder, quickly trying to compose yourself, wiping your tears again and taking a couple deep breaths.]

"O-Oh, s-sorry for waking you... just a nightmare, no need to worry about me~!" [Nille just gives you a look, clearly not buying it. She unzips her sleeping bag, getting up and walking over to you.]

"Do yah need a hug, hun?..." [She asks, offering a single arm as to not overwhelm you.]

"O-Oh, n-no thank you, I-I'm not much about... t-touch..." [You stammer out, rubbing your elbow some, wincing as you still feel tears slowly dripping from your right eye.]

"You're either getting a hug, or we're gonna talk about it, your choice, pretty they." [She teases with a smirk, holding up the other arm invitingly now. You hesitate still, taking one last deep breath and nodding.]

[You close your eyes tightly, bracing as if you were about to take a hit from a sadness, flinching heavily as you felt her arms slowly wrap around you... It almost stings at first, such an... unfamiliar sensation... but after a moment it's nice... her warm body pressed tightly to yours, like a weighted, heated blanket... Your arms very slowly wrap around them, placing your starry head on their shoulder, letting the tears pour from your eyes again.]

"There, that feel better?" [She asks, about to break the hug, but you find yourself holding her tight still... You don't know how long you stay like this, but you can tell it's far too long...]

[luminousbeings-crudematter]

Entanglement (2/2)

PAIRING: Johnny "Soap" MacTavish x Medic F!Reader 

WARNINGS: allusions to smut || MDNI

A/N: I promised a sober part 2 for the 141 challenge by @glitterypirateduck || but it's very late because I am physically unable to get my shit together || but I made it softer and sweeter than the first part to make up for it :')

Prompts used: Secluded beach, pursuit (used literally as in one person chasing another), “I need a ride”, “Here, I’ll show you”

Part 1 || Part 2 || 

____

He ships out for a tour that keeps extending for some stupid reason or another and you don’t see him for three months.    

You tell yourself that your position as one of the medical personnel on base means that you must be present at the landing pad when the 141 arrive, you must check that they’re all okay and that no one’s injured and that you must search desperately, panic clear on your face, neck craning this way and that until you see him.  Until Johnny’s face comes into view, laughing at something, because of course he is, and then you can start to convince yourself that your finally being able to breathe normally is attributable to none of the boys being injured.  

Except…except when Johnny sees you, his brows shoot up to his hairline, and the smile on his face is beautiful, with just the slightest amount of smug.  Such a horrible, annoying, perfect man.    

He jogs to cover the last few feet between you, and stands in front of you, eyes just drinking you in—smiling, but pointedly not saying a word.  

“I just wanted to make sure you weren’t hurt.  Or anyone else,” you inform him quickly, eyes widening at your slip-up.  “It’s um…it’s why I’m here.”

“‘Course, luv.  No other reason, aye?”  His eyes sparkle in the afternoon sun, and glove-covered fingers lightly brush your cheek.  I can’t believe you’re here, his eyes tell you.

“Of course not!  Just wanted to make sure that no one needed emergency care,” you whisper, leaning into his touch.  Where else would I be?

“Thought about tha’ date yet, lass?” he says, and his attention is briefly drawn to Price rallying everyone to his office for the post-op debrief.

“Johnny,” you whisper, and his head whips around to look at you.  “I…I—”  You close your mouth quickly, too embarrassed to say anything when he stands there in front of you, looking like…well.  That.  

His brows are furrowed and concern floods the bright blue of his eyes.  “Wha’ is it?  I was only takin’ the piss, luv, dinna fash, it’s alrate if ye—,” 

“I have the next three weeks off.  I’m going to Scotland.  Edinburgh.”

“Edinburgh,” he repeats, his eyes wide and shocked.  And then his expression changes.  It’s subtle at first, but the smile that breaks over his face makes you feel like you’re looking straight at a sunrise, and you almost want to squint at its brilliance.  “Coincidence, lass.  I’m on leave m’self.  Might find myself in Edinburgh too, y’know?”

***

Johnny does finds himself in Edinburgh.  

And he finds himself equal parts impressed and happy and captivated when he learns of the hoops you had to jump through to arrange annual leave at the same time as him.  “So ye lied, eh?”

“I—no!  I didn’t lie!  I just withheld information, that’s all.”  You pause and turn to him, gingerly reaching out to hold one of his hands in both of yours and looking down at your intertwined fingers.  “I really wanted to be here with you.”

Lazulite.  

When you look up into his eyes, you’re met with pure, warm, melted lazulite.  His eyes hold you captive and you find that you want to drown in them, a prisoner by choice.  

When he doesn’t look away and you feel warmed by his gaze, you turn to look at the horizon, taking a couple of steps away from him and towards the water.  

It’s cold, so very unbearably cold, the freezing water and the frigid breeze it incites doing their jobs of keeping people out of the outdoors.  You’re alone with him on the beach, the tiny shops in the beach-town in the distance calling your names with the promise of warm food and an ale for your troubles.  But, the time for that will come…just, not yet.  

You turn back to Johnny and find that he’s moved closer to you, standing at the edge of the water with you.  “Ah’m glad ye changed yer mind,” he says.  “Ah’ve been…looking forward to this.”

“Oh yeah?” you challenge, grinning.  “What specifically have you been looking forward to?”

He shrugs nonchalantly.  “Pussy from the 141’s medic, obviously.”

Your gasp is dramatic and your eyes bulge at his words, too shocked to respond with anything but a bewildered  “What?  What?!”

But when Johnny doesn’t respond to you, doubled over in laughter, wheezing at your expression, you know exactly how to get him back.  You’ve barely even considered the consequences in your mind before you bend down and use both hands to splash him with the Arctic-temperature water, and he splutters, looking back up at you in shock.

You’re both frozen for a moment, before his expression narrows—“Oh, yer’ in a world of trouble now, lass,” he growls—and you make a run for it.    

The only sounds on the beach are the gentle sounds of the water on the shore, your shrieking laughter on the beach and Johnny’s occasional taunts as he chases after you.  You know he only lets you run away from him because it’s fun—the chase, the sound of your laughter, the adrenaline warming you both despite the cold winter air.    The man was a beast in the gym and on the track, could’ve caught you in a second if he wanted to, but this is fun.

Everything about being with him is fun. 

When he finally catches you, his large arms go around you and he lifts you, chuckling in your ear while he spins you around.  Your heart is full at that moment, so completely overflowing with your infatuation for him, so completely joyous at his cheesy actions that make you feel like you’re in one of your guilty-pleasure movies.  Being on a date with him is exactly like what you’d imagined—he’s effortlessly charming, naturally funny, attentive to you, and most importantly, he’s enjoying himself too.

You can’t believe you’d been saying no to this for months, denying yourself the pleasure of being with him for months.   The thought boggles your mind a bit and you forget all your reasons for doing it in the first place. 

So overwhelmed are you by your inner turmoil that when he finally sets you down, you turn around to face him, promptly put your palms on his cheek and kiss him full on the mouth.  He’s shocked, frozen for a second but seems to snap out of it, and kisses you back.  One arm goes around your waist to pull him flush to you, the other winds around you to rest on the nape of your neck.  There’s no escape from the intensity of his kiss, even if you wanted it.    

And you don’t want to leave his embrace anytime soon.  

His body shields you from the bitter cold, pulling you into his warmth until you’re left feeling like your bodies have been fused together.  Johnny is just as playful while he’s kissing you as he is at any other time.  He’s all enthusiasm and exploration, sharp little nips on your bottom lip, soothed by gentle licks.  When you hungrily open your mouth for him, you’re rewarded by the taste of what you will come to learn is just Johnny.  

He grips you even tighter, not even enough space for air to pass in between you, gets carried away by the way you sigh and moan into his mouth, and when he grinds into you, you freeze because you can feel him.  Hard, against your thigh.

Johnny whines when you stop kissing him back, your lips motionless against his, but releases you in a second when he realises that you’ve frozen against him.  “Bonnie, y’okay?”

“Erm, yeah, I—” you cut yourself off, because your cheeks are starting to warm and you don’t know where to look right now.  Definitely not at him, but you also cannot look down because what if your eyes wander to his crotch, and you cannot and must not be caught looking at his crotch and—

“Hey…y’alright?  What’s wrong, luv?”

Hm, how do you diplomatically and politely tell him that grinding against his hard cock had jarred you for a second and made you flood your panties with your arousal the next?  “N-no nothing’s wrong, I uh.  I was wondering…” you say softly, looking up at him from underneath your lashes.   “Do you want to go back to the hotel?  If it’s alright, I need a ride.”

His pupils contract to pinpricks. “Ah’ll give you a ride, bonnie.”       

***

Of all the things you thought would happen between the two of you in your hotel room after the first time you fucked, this wasn’t it.

“Ye wanted to know what I was looking forward to?  Here, I’ll show you.”

He proceeds to demand that you stay in bed while he sneaks into the bathroom and shuts the door quietly behind him.  Ten minutes later, the man emerges, victorious, with pink cheeks and looking mighty proud of himself.  He leads you by the hand into the bathroom, and helps you take off the fluffy, indulgent bathrobe he’d put on you.

The bath’s running, steam swirls around the room, warming it pleasantly, and Johnny’s managed to find a candle, somehow.  

“Get in, lass, come on.”

“Only if you come in with me,” you say, smiling.

If you were any kind of artist, you know your masterpiece would be your recreation of Johnny’s face in that moment—blushing, eyes downcast shyly, the perfect contradiction to the man who’d brought you to ruin only a few minutes ago.

You both take turns sinking into the warmth of the water, and when you’re finally settled, your back to his chest, your head leaning on his shoulder, you sigh deeply.  He brings your hand up to his mouth and gives your knuckles a kiss.  In quiet, hushed words you both decide on a strategy for keeping this thing you’ve just discovered private, just for the two of you at the moment.   

“And so when you say we’re not telling anyone, that also means you’re not going to tell Gaz?” you ask, sceptically.  

 “Naw, bonnie, we agreed.  I didnae ken what ye mean.”

“...yeah, okay, Johnny.  How about…three dates?  Three successful dates, and then you can tell your boyfriend about me.”

You hear him sputter behind you and it makes you chuckle.  “We’re gonna ‘ave more than three dates in the next few weeks, bonnie.”

“Oh?”  You turn around slowly, mindful of the water splashing out the sides of the bathtub and shift so you’re straddling him.  His eyes widen slightly at the sight of your wet body against his, and his hands grip the flesh on your hips immediately.  “Is that so?  What makes you so confident you’re going to get a second date?”

“I’m no’ a betting man,” he says, conspiratorially.  “But if ah were…the way you sucked my cock, bonnie?”  He leans back with a contented sigh and a look of overconfidence on his face.  “I’d say ah’m gonna get a second date.”

“Hmm,” you say noncommittally, and he leans forward to kiss you.

“And a third,” he says, smiling against your mouth.  “And a fourth.”   

“Maybe you’re right,” you concede.  “You’ll have to work hard for a fifth, though, Johnny.”

And when Johnny’s fingers touch you between your thighs at the words, his expression even and not betraying his intentions whatsoever, you’re convinced he’s going to work hard and get that fifth date.

[azureseacloud]

Hard Work

Ghost (band) one shot

Pairing: fem reader x ghouls

Warnings: swearing

Words: 1,999

Summary: Reader has been working all day. Ghouls return from practice and look after her, regardless of her resistance. Fluff with a dash of sexual tension because I can’t help myself :)

Hi again, thanks so much for your support on my other fic :))) You guys are awesome!!

I am open to requests for the ghouls so please feel free to drop a request :)

Working as a coordinator for the band was a huge job. It didn’t help that the ghouls always sought you out so they could bring you to their quarters for ‘mandatory’ ghoul piles or just for company. It was sweet, but by Satan they were an effective distraction from your work.

You had sat yourself down on the couch in the ghoul quarters, laptop sitting on your thighs as you reviewed the costings and set up for the next show that was in a weeks time.

None of the ghouls were present—busy with their commitments and band practice for the day—so you were using the time to get as much done as possible. It was easier to do the work in their quarters since you knew that they would go searching for you after and drag you back here anyway one way or another. Swiss had literally thrown you over his shoulder one time when you had protested to leaving your work space. Another time, when you had found a comfy hiding spot far away from where the ghouls wandered, Dewdrop had tracked you down by your scent and heartbeat.

You sighed, a slight headache beginning to make itself known. Checking the time, you’d been here for almost eight hours, and it was now afternoon. You’d made a lot of progress, which was great, but there was still a lot more to go.

You resettled yourself into a more comfortable position, shuffling around until your legs were no longer trapped under your body, wincing at the pins and needles that flickered as you moved. You began typing again, organising the itinerary for next years tours.

Something brushed against your neck lightly as you became aware of a presence behind you. Before you could look, two hands were splayed around your neck, applying a firm pressure but not impacting your ability to breathe. They pushed upward, tilting your head back.

“Fuck!” You gasped as you were met with a mask staring down at you. White horns poked through the forehead, an easy identifier for the ghoul that had a comfortable grip on your throat. Dewdrop.

“Oh, hi Dew.”

One of his fingers slowly caressed your neck as you fought to slow your heartbeat after the shock. His hands were warm, no doubt the perks of being a fire ghoul. You watched as he tilted his head in that infuriatingly attractive way.

“You look tired.”

You blinked up at the ghoul, realising your hands were still perched on the keyboard and not moving to at least try to defend yourself. You wondered if he noticed. What was it he had said?

“I’ve been working,” you replied evenly, after a moment of silence where you had to fight to gather your thoughts. His grip was distracting, in the way that sent your brain into overdrive. It was a struggle to maintain a normal tone—to hide what the ghoul was doing to you.

Dew moved closer, to the point where you could almost see the eyes behind his mask. Studying you. You tried your best to look alert and awake, knowing they would all swarm you the moment one of them figured out that you had forgone looking after yourself, choosing to instead work almost non-stop.

In a liquid movement he withdrew his hands, dragging them upwards along your neck as he straightened up. You almost sighed in disappointment at the loss of contact.

One major factor you had learned about ghouls is that they had no concept of personal space, nor any understanding of human ‘socially acceptable’ standards. They also shared more physical touch than humans usually did. It had been quite a lot to get used to when you first started working with them. But now you found yourself craving their casual touches and affection. Although you were still caught off guard with the more intimate touches they sometimes did. You knew they found your reactions entertaining, Dew and Swiss especially.

A set of footsteps echoed across the floor and you looked to see Swiss waltzing in, also still in his helmet and uniform. He looked over to you, then tilted his head up, most likely looking at Dew standing behind you still, his forearms now leaning against the back of the couch on either side of your head. His hands were brushing your shoulders in a tantalising way, and you were acutely aware of how close his chest was to your head.

Swiss looked back to you, and his mouth turned down in what you guessed was a frown.

“Have you been working all day?” The multi ghoul asked, leaning against the doorway. You clasped your hands to stop yourself from rubbing your eyes as another spike of pain shot through your head.

“No, of course not,” you lied. You knew the ghouls hated when you worked for too long—and you really wanted to finish this last part.

“When was the last time you had water?” Dew asked, still hovering above you. You rolled your eyes.

“I had water not that long ago.” You lied again, biting your lip. You hadn’t had any since breakfast—too engrossed in your work to have a break. That explained the headache.

“She’s dehydrated,” Rain spoke. Your eyes jumped to him, cursing internally that you had forgotten the water ghoul had gotten good at sensing how hydrated you were. He was heading to the adjoined kitchen at the far side of the room.

Swiss tsked and you shot him an answering glare. He grinned, pushing off the wall to join you on the couch.

“You can’t lie to us sweetheart.” Dew murmured in your ear, his breath ghosting the side of your face in a way that sent shivers down your body. His nails scraped lightly across your shoulders, and it was all you could do not to arch your back.

Too preoccupied with Dewdrop’s touch, you weren’t prepared for Swiss to snatch your wrists, yanking them away from your laptop.

“Hey!” You protested, trying to pull out of his grip. The multi ghoul only grinned, his hold on your wrists too strong for you to break out of.

“Rain,” Swiss called. The water ghoul hurried over, carrying a glass of water. You were still struggling against Swiss, trying to twist your way out of his grip. Dew grabbed your shoulders, pulling you back to the couch and pinning you there. Swiss barked out a laugh as you cursed at them.

“Can you get the laptop?” Swiss asked the water ghoul casually. Rain nodded, closing the device and moving it to the small table not far from the couch.

“Seriously guys? I just have to do a little more, then I’m done I promise.”

Swiss shook his head, releasing your hands while Rain offered you the glass of water. You rolled your eyes, accepting the glass reluctantly as Rain settled on the floor in front of you, murmuring a “thanks” to the calm ghoul. They were all watching—no doubt waiting to make sure you drank the water. Swiss moved one of his hands to your thigh, smirking as your eyes darted across to his.

“Is this an intervention?” You looked up as Phantom spoke, his voice holding a little bit of humour as he entered the room, crossing over to lean against the table. He looked at the laptop resting there—no doubt putting the pieces together.

“She’s been working all day,” Swiss explained. You took a sip of water, flipping off the ghoul beside you.

“She’s dehydrated,” Rain added.

“And she thought she could lie about it.” You hissed at Dewdrop’s words. Asshole. He gripped your shoulders tighter in response, his fingers pressing into your skin.

You busied yourself with drinking the water—it was the best distraction you had right now. Between Dewdrop’s hands on your shoulders and Swiss’ hand on your thigh, as well as everyone’s undivided attention, you could feel your cheeks beginning to heat up. You finished the glass, Rain reaching out to take it from you as he got up to take it to the kitchen. Phantom jabbed at his ribs on the way, the water ghoul skipping out of his reach.

“Good girl,” Dewdrop purred into your ear. You tensed, heat blooming across your skin. Your brain nearly short-circuited. He had to be doing this on purpose. There was no way he wasn’t—Dew wasn’t normally this flirtatious. The little gremlin.

Swiss snickered. “Someone’s flustered. Careful Dew, she might pass out if you keep going.”

Phantom chuckled at that. You scowled, crossing your arms.

“Okay, I drank some water, now let me keep working—“

You were cut off as Swiss stood up suddenly, grabbing your arms and pulling you from the couch. You squealed as he picked you up, one arm under your legs the other wrapped around your back. You threw your arms around his neck, gripping just under the helmet. He was grinning again.

“Swiss I swear to Satan if you don’t put me down-“

“You’ll what?” The multi ghoul taunted. He sat down on the soft rug in the centre of the room, rolling you onto your back and wrapping an arm around you to keep you there as he lay down beside you. You smacked his arm, knowing exactly what he was planning. You loved ghoul piles but you knew once everyone had joined you would not be able to get up until the morning.

You looked over as Dewdrop vaulted over the couch to join you, flicking off his helmet as he lay down on your other side. Dew slid one of his legs around yours, nuzzling into the side of your neck. The fire ghoul started purring loudly, draping an arm across your chest. His warmth was comforting.

“See? Just stay here with us. Take a break.” Swiss said, his breath tickling your ear. He’d also taken his helmet off, and he buried his face in the side of your neck like Dew. You sighed.

“No, I still have work to do!” Swiss snorted, still not letting you go. A wave of calm washed over you, sleepiness taking hold. Okay maybe you could finish the work tomorrow…

Your eyes snapped over to Phantom. “Phantom, you little bitch, I know what you’re doing.” You growled. The quintessence ghoul raised his hands in mock surrender, a wicked grin on his face.

Running out of options, you looked to Rain.

“Rain, can you please get them off me so I can finish my work?” The water ghoul sighed, making his way over. Instead of dragging the two off of you, he flopped down on top of you all, his head resting on your stomach.

How helpful.

You flipped off Phantom as he laughed. Not being able to help yourself, you lowered your hands into Rain’s hair. You slid your fingers through the smooth locks as the ghoul hummed contentedly.

Phantom curled up behind you, letting you rest your head on his chest. His own fingers worked through your hair, and you almost melted under his touch.

“What’s going on here?” Mountain crossed into the room with his hands on his hips, the ghoulettes behind him.

“Ghoul pile!!” Sunshine shrieked, launching herself over Swiss, who tried to bury his face deeper in your neck.

“A little help?” You asked, looking at the others hopefully. Swiss and Dew growled, both of their teeth lightly pinching your neck in response.

“I think that’s your answer.” Mountain shrugged, and you sighed in defeat. The huge ghoul settled down beside Dew, while the other ghoulettes curled around Sunshine and Swiss.

Dewdrop was purring again, his tongue licking the small bite on the side of your neck. You reached an arm around and scratched his head, his purring growing louder.

Okay, maybe you could let the rest of your work wait until tomorrow. For now, you relaxed in the comforting warmth and weight of the ghouls.

It didn’t take you long to fall asleep.

[wittlesissyb4by]

Chapter 1

Oh fuck! Oh FUCK! FUCK!

I overslept.

I was supposed to be at work over an hour ago. If I hurried, I could take a shower, throw on some clothes that still needed ironing, and make it there by 11 if there isn’t much traffic. 

Or…I could just call in sick. 

Having the day to myself would be nice. I’ve taken a day off each of the last 3 weeks and I have to say, I’ve really been enjoying the extra day of relaxation. Not that my job is too taxing, I sit at a desk all day and move numbers from one column to the other, but on days I’m home I get to be free. I get to be me. 

My roommate Max is at work until 5. That’s at least 7 solid hours of play time. My mind races with all the possible things I could do. I’m already getting hard just thinking about it. I grab my phone and tune my voice as I dial, my other hand on my crotch, rubbing in excitement. 

“HR, this is Kelly.”

“Hey K-Kelly” I say in a terrible excuse for a raspy voice, coughing unconvincingly. “I think I'm getting pretty sick…”

“Again? This is like the third week in a row.” She says.

“Yea, I dunno, some kind of weird viral thing I guess.”

Even through the phone she sounded skeptical. “Hmm…okay well go ahead and take the day off, and bring in a doctor’s note on Monday.”

“A doctor’s note?”

“Yea. You’ve already used all your PTO days for the year, so you’ll need a note from your doctor to have it count as a sick day. Otherwise we’ll have to dock your pay.”

America.

“Okay, well *ehem* I’ll get the note and bring it on Monday.” I say, knowing damn well I'm too lazy to do any of those things. Maybe they’ll forget, or shrug it off, I dunno, that’s future-Jake’s problem. 

Today, I’m gonna pamper myself. Literally. 

But first I have to shave my legs. I dunno why. For whatever reason it puts me in that mood. Having fresh, smooth legs makes me feel both feminine and infantile. 

After I’ve removed any trace of body hair, it’s time to decide what to wear. I have a large divider in my closet that serves as a false wall. It effectively hides an entire section tucked back in the corner. That’s where I keep all my supplies.

I’ve accrued quite a lot over the years. Slowly adding to my wardrobe and repertoire of toys. I rake the hangars along the rod as I search for my outfit of the day, all of them in various shades of pink.

Frilly dress? Na. Too frumpy. Onesie? Too tame. I’m in a particularly slutty mood. I want something slutty.

I decide on my go-to: the sexy Schoolgirl outfit. 

Sure, it’s cliche. But there's a reason it’s so common. Nothing makes me feel more fuckable than that skimpy skirt and the crop top. It’ll even show off my new belly button piercing!

I take some time putting it all on, pretending I’m getting ready for a hot date or something, or maybe just a gangbang.

The skirt can’t even hang properly because of how hard my cock is poking out. I stroke it a few times, fighting the urge to do it more. I have to control myself, I don’t want this to end too early.

Luckily, I’ve learned a great way to fix that.

I take a few seconds to decide on a diaper. I end up going with the pink BunnyHopps, for multiple reasons, but the main one being that they’re super cute. 

I unfurl the diaper and lay it down on my bed, turning around to position myself over it. The crinkle as I lower myself onto it always gets me going. The shaky excitement from something so simple is something I will never understand about myself. But as I’m pulling the front of the diaper up to tape it shut, I realize I’ve forgotten something. Gotta get a plug. Oh! And powder…

After a bit of grunting and frustration, I work the plug into my ass. I love how full it makes me feel, having it inside and tickling my prostate gives me the heebie jeebies. I powder myself as best I can without getting it all over my skirt, then pull the front flap of the diaper over me and tape it snugly. 

Mmmm the way it feels when I sit up, feeling the padding as the plug presses into me is such a high.  

I stand up and look at myself in the mirror. Not bad, but it can be better.

I take my shaggyish hair and separate it into two tiny pigtails. I’m getting better at making them even, but I wish my hair was a bit longer. Two little bows attached to each do make it look super cute, though. 

I close the door to my room…just in case. I don’t want Max to come home early and find me prancing around like a pretty sissy. I turn back around and get to what I was doing…

Creeeeakkk

I panic. Jumping around, caught in the act, attempting to cover myself as the door swings open.

Nothing.

No one’s on the other side, the door just…swung open on its own accord, and damn near gave me a heart attack. I push the door shut again but it doesn’t click, just slowly creaks back open. It takes me two more attempts to get it to stick and stay shut. I gotta fix that sometime soon. Maybe tomorrow. Or next week…

I spend the next hour in my computer chair watching make-up tutorials as I learn to apply my own. Trying to contour without making myself look like bozo the clown is something I’m still struggling to learn. I’m pretty happy with what I accomplished though. I bat my mascara’d eyelashes at myself and give a dainty smile to the mirror. I feel so pretty, but I could definitely use some lip gloss!

When I’m satisfied that I look like a proper, fuckable sissy slut. I prance around the room. Well, as much as I can with a plug and pamper between my bum. I love my new stockings and Mary Jane slippers! They really complete the look. 

“Oh! Have I been a naughty girl today, Professor?” I say in as best of a sissy voice as I can muster. “Are you going to make me stay after class and be…punished?”

I giggle daintily at my little made up scenario. It’s silly and, admittedly, pathetic, but it’s the best I can muster under the circumstances. Judging by how hard I am in my pampers, it seems to be working just fine.

I go back to my secret stash and rustle around until I find the dildo I’m looking for. The big, fleshy 8-incher complete with balls and a suction cup, a favorite of mine lately. 

“Oh Professor!” I say, twirling around with the cock so that my skirt swishes and my diaper crinkles. “Whatever could I do to make it up to you??”

“Well I think you should start by…sucking up to me a bit…” I mimic in a deeper voice, trying not to cringe at the awful line.

I place the dick to my glossy lips, batting my eyes up at the ceiling and putting on an innocent facade, “Like this Professor??”

“Yes you little whore. Now let’s see what you got!”

I close my eyes and take the fleshy dildo in my mouth. I hear myself let out a little moan. God it feels so good having something in there. I have several pacifiers to appease my oral fixation, but there’s nothing like a nice big cock, even if it’s a fake one…

I get down onto my knees, putting the dildo on the edge of the bed, pretending I’m servicing a real man. I suck and slurp and try to do all the things the blowjob tutorial videos told me to. I can’t help but rub the front of my diaper with my other hand. My dick is practically screaming at me to cum. I bring myself right up to the edge and–

Thonk!

Oh fuck! Was that a car door? Is Max home?? Oh shit. Shit shit shit shit! What if he sees me like this?? 

I toss the dildo to the side and bustle over to the window as fast as my plug and padding will allow. I peek through the blinds and heave a huge sigh of relief.

It’s just the neighbor. They must have forgotten something at work I guess.

Phew…close one. 

My heart is still beating out of my chest, and my stomach is still in knots from the adrenaline. All of my horniness has evaporated.

Well, kind of. One quick look in the mirror gets me worked up again, but at least I'm not so close to cumming now!

Stopping to take the time to wet my diaper, I hold my skirt up as I watch myself make the padding swell and the tint of the diaper change to a darker shade.  I press the front inward, feeling the warmth against my skin. What kind of freak do I have to be to enjoy this shit?

I put that thought out of my mind. 

Searching the room for the discarded dildo, I find it in the corner of the room before sitting down at my desk and plopping the rubber dick down on the surface in front of me.

It doesn’t take me long to find some porn to watch. I’ve recently discovered “FPOV” blowjob videos where, instead of it being from the male perspective looking down at someone sucking his dick, you get the girl’s perspective. Which means I get to watch the dick enter in and out of ‘my’ mouth. A front row seat to a big, sloppy blowjob. 

I put my headphones on so I can get the real experience. Following the girl on screen as she moves back and forth over the big, black dick. 

“You’re such a good little cocksucker!” a woman’s voice says.

Oh! This one has a voiceover. Someone degrading me and instructing me while I suck a dick? Yes please.

“Take it in your mouth! Deeper…deeper…”

I rub the front of my diaper, feeling my absolutely throbbing cock even through the pissy padding. ‘MMmphhing’ all over the dick in my mouth, making sure to keep it nice and wet.

“This is your purpose…this is what you were made for…”

I suck and slurp, the diaper crinkles and shifts. This is so hot!

“Men are going to use you…fuck your little whore mouth for their pleasure…”

“You are meant to worship perfect, huge, juicy cock!” 

“Suck him sissy! Suck him faster!”

I moan with the rubber dick in my mouth as I follow the voice’s instructions. The woman on screen was ‘mmming’ and ‘mmmphing’, but I was doing it louder. She spat on the dick, so did I. She stroked it with her saliva. So did I. 

“Do you feel like a little slut for him?”

I do.

“His little mouth whore?”

Yessss.

“He’s going to use your lips like a fleshlight.”

Whatever you sayy.

“You want his cum so fucking bad don’t you??”

The girl on the screen was moaning desperately, hungrily. Oh wait…that’s me.

“He’s going to cum! He’s going to cum!”

Oh god…I’m gonna cum. I need to stop–oh! Oh no…

I curse myself as I feel my body start to spasm. A new warmth fills the inside of my diaper. I can feel all my horniness leaving with it.

No! Not yet!! I whine at no one in particular. I had a whole day planned…and now it’s ruined. 

I hate how easily it tends to happen. I can’t get far into my regime at all without immediately blowing it….literally.

I feel like crying, but I don’t want my mascara to run. The plug immediately loses all of its appeal. I huff and puff as I rip the tapes of the diaper off, seeing my immense and gooey load making strings when the front flap flops open. I sit up a bit and yank the plug out a little harder than I intended, tossing it across the room.  

Plopping myself back down, the diaper feels cool and clammy now. Still, I reason, there’s no sense in wasting it, diapers are expensive, and the good thing about these BunnyHopps is they have the hook and loop tapes, which means I can put it right back on…even if it’s not nearly as fun now.

I check through the window again to make sure Max’s car isn’t out front before I head into the kitchen to make something to eat. I bring it back to my room, closing the door, and then closing it again after it doesn’t stay shut. 

Firing up my rig, I pull up League of Legends and start playing a few matches. I feel like one of those E-girls, dressing kind of skimpy and playing video games for boys’ attention. I don’t even have to get up to pee between matches, just get to release it all into my diaper. This is the life.

At around 2 o’clock, I feel the urge to use the bathroom in a different way. I sigh, knowing it’s the end of my diaper time. I head to the restroom to do my business, but stop before I get to the door. 

Actually, why don’t I just do it right here? Right now? After all, I am in a diaper. I don’t usually mess because Max is always here, but I have the house all to myself, and this diaper is on its last leg anyway. Why not? I’m allowed to treat myself, even if it's probably the weirdest way one would do so. 

I’ve always found it a bit awkward to poop in a diaper. How does one do it? Do you stand? Surely not. Do you sit? That seems messy, but I guess that’s kinda the point…I decide to squat down and handle it that way. 

It doesn’t happen immediately. I sit there awkwardly thinking about what someone would say if they saw me in this position.

“D’awwww!! Is the wittle baby making a pushy poo?? Hmm? Are joo making a big ‘ole mess for Mommy?”

The thought of that gives me a stirring in a different part of my diaper. I imagine myself surrounded by a group of beautiful women, forced to dirty my diaper in front of them while they all point and laugh.

“Stinky poo! Stinky poo! Now you’re going doo doo!!”

“Suck your thumb, loser!!”

I put my thumb in my mouth. I suck it while I grunt and push.

“A grown man dumping in a DIAPER!”

“Man? Looks like a sissy slut to me!”

I can actually see myself blushing in the mirror while the diaper sags under the weight of my warm mush that’s filling it.

“He did it! He did it!” the imaginary girls clap.

I can see my penis poking through the pampers. 

“And he LIKED it!”

“Show us how much you like it, loser!”

“Sit in your stinky seat!!”

I sit back on my butt and feel the mush spread inside. It’s sickening and feels yucky, but the girls love it.

“Bouncy bouncy baby!!”

I bounce on the floor, squishing the mess even more, sucking my thumb and making pathetic little noises as I slip into little space.

“Goo goo ga ga sissy girl!!”

I’m drooling on my thumb while the other is rubbing the front of my mushy diaper. I’m glad Max isn’t home to hear the ridiculous sounds I'm making. 

“I think he wants to MAKE a goo goo in his diapy!” The girls all laugh. Emma Watson, Kate Beckinsale, Natalie Portman, they’re all here. “On the floor! It’s time for dumpy humpies!!”

Someone also tells me to get my ‘big boi binky’. I grab the dildo off my desk and put it on the floor in front of me.

“Sucky sucky while you fucky fucky!!” 

I’m a mess in every sense of the word. Drooling all over the dick, wiggling back and forth in my defiled diaper, grinding against the ground, skirt, hair, make-up all disheveled.

The girls are clapping their hands and chanting. Goo GOO! Goo GOO! Goo GOO!

It feels so good, being a dirty little diaper bitch…I’m gonna…I’m gonna…

Beep!

Panic. Was that a car horn? No, a truck horn. Max’s truck. The sound it makes when it’s locking. He’s here.

I rush to the window, my destroyed diaper plopping side to side with every step. I peek through the blinds again, scanning the yard.

Nothing. No one in the driveway, no sign of Max.

Another sigh of relief. It’s hard to enjoy myself when I’m constantly on edge that I'll be caught. Sure, I’m in my room, but the stench alone could probably alert the neighbors. I check to see if I even came. 

Oh…yea..definitely did. But I don’t remember the orgasm. Shame. I’m overcome with shame and disgust again, and now I’m walking around in my own filth.

I carefully remove the diaper, trying to make sure the defecation doesn’t get on my skirt. In hindsight, I should have removed the skirt before opening the diaper, but I wasn’t thinking clearly. Now I've got a literal mess on my hands. I use one of my palms to cradle the diaper while using my other hand to keep my skirt from sticking to the filth on my backside. I carefully place the diaper down so I can use both of my hands to unzip my skirt safely and take it ,and my crop top, off, tossing them both out of harm’s way.

Now I have other shit to deal with. I carefully roll up the diaper and tape the biohazard up into a ball. The thing is massive and plump, but still has its pinkish hue. I want to take it out to the dumpster, but being naked with a muddy butt isn’t exactly the right attire to do so.

This is why I don’t make messy diapers. I’m so bad at dealing with the cleanup.

I decide to set it all down and go take a shower. I make sure to close my door behind me, and step across the hall into the bathroom. The warm water feels good on my clammy skin. I use the sprayer to hose the filth off my bum, finally feeling clean again. I put the nozzle back in its holster above, but it falls with a loud clunk. But even after I caught it, the sound persisted.

Someone was at the front door. 

Not knocking. They just…walked in. I could tell by the clatter the screendoor makes when it shuts too hard, another thing I was supposed to fix…

Is that Max? Or is someone breaking in? Max shouldn’t be off of work yet, it’s only 3, and he always works until at least 5. 

I listen to the footfalls, turning the water off so I can get a better listen. The steps are hard, like those of work boots. Max’s boots. They stomp down the hallway past the bathroom I’m in, past my door, and then to his.

I shut my door, right?

Yes. I did. I made sure of it.

But what if he smells my disgusting diaper?

In a bit of a panic, I hop out of the shower, grab a towel, and make my way out into the hall.

“Hey,” I say, unable to keep the panic from my voice.

Max turns, a weird look on his face, “Hey.” he replies.

“You’re home early.” I say, sounding like an unfaithful housewife.

He scratches his beard and sighs, “Yea, the guys got what they needed done and we should be good to pass inspection tomorrow so I sent ‘em home.”

“Oh, okay, cool.” It was awkward. We’ve lived together for almost two years now and it’s never been this awkward. Probably because I’m making it awkward.

“Well, I’m gonna go take a nap.” He rubbed his eyes, maybe a little too much. 

“Alright then, see ya later.”

“Later.”

He went into his room and closed the door behind him. I hurried to mine, reaching for the handle. 

But it wasn’t there. The door was open. Wide open. And all my stuff was splayed across it in full, easy view. The skimpy skirt, the crop top with the word ‘SISSY’ plastered across it, a realistic dildo with my drool still dripping down it and, right in the center of the floor, my big giant disgusting diaper.

…Is there any chance he didn’t see all of that?

To Be Continued

~~Click HERE for Chapter 2~~

[andhumanslovedstories]

any advice for nursing students/new nurses?

When you buy a stethoscope, get it engraved with your name, I literally cannot tell you how much that has saved my ass. All stethoscopes look the exact same, even if you think you got a unique looking one, and they're super easy to lose, and they're a hundred plus bucks. engraved!!

There's literally so many acronyms, and everyone assumes the acronyms they know are universal, and no one is correct. Get comfortable with the phrase "remind me what [x] stands for" when someone rattles off a string of letters you don't recognize. (sometimes the person talking to you doesn't know either! whoops!!)

Ask questions all the time actually. This is the ideal time to do so and everyone will be scared if you don't.

For straight cathing patients, you can usually get a lidocaine gel that numbs the urethra, which helps with discomfort. Also for straight cathing patients, if they have a vagina, make sure you visualize the urethra before you start the whole process. You don't want to have to find it later when you're sterile and can't touch anything.

If you've never used a bed pan, it is surprisingly much harder than you would expect. familiarize yourself with them before you have to place one for the first time.

At the end of every shift, find one thing you can point at that you did and were proud of. You can be proud of helping a patient get up and walk. You can be proud that your patient's pain never got above a 4. You can be proud that you helped out another nurse's patients while they were dealing with an admit. You can be proud that you didn't get visibly mad at a patient who was screaming at you. You can be proud that you got to the end of the shift and everyone is alive. You can be proud that you realized you were in over your head and called for help. Find something each shift to be proud of, and the corollary to that is behave in ways that make it easier to be proud of yourself when you look back at the way you spent your shift

get good shoes.

prioritize sleep.

meal prep

pick a few things about yourself that are harmless, not at all intimate small talk. I also have a few fun facts about myself that I love to talk about but don't overstep any boundaries (stuff like that I'm from Virginia, that I'm part of float pool so I can tell you how this room compares to others in the hospital, I have dyed hair and people love talking about that). Draw boundaries to be personable but not inappropriate. Genuinely, practice small talk. You have small talk when things are going fine so you can have Big Talk when someone's breaking down crying or starts screaming in the hallway or wants to leave against medical advice or is furious that their visitors are gonna get searched on the way in. Build rapport before you need rapport.

Sort of similar to the last one, I try to care very deeply about my patients on shift and then forget about them when I go home. I debrief with my mom or Cyrus or my journal, and then I take a shower. The shower is my mental reset time. I tuck my nursona away and emerge as just some dipshit in a towel. Find whatever ritual helps you end your shift.

there are many ways to be a good nurse. sometimes you need a hardass. sometimes you need a cheerleader. sometimes you need a goofball. sometimes you need someone who doesn't chit chat but will always get your teeth brushed, your hands washed, and your hair braided before breakfast can even get to the floor, no matter how shortstaffed the floor is. sometimes you need someone who will talk to you at three in the morning about what the dying process is like. it is impossible to be all things to all patients. as a new nurse, you start by focusing on basic minimal competency, but pay attention to what parts of the job energize you, what parts come easy to you, and lean into those. get competent at the things you are bad at, get passionate about the things you are good at, and you'll have a better chance of building a nursing practice that you can keep up with the shit times start.

the shit times can start anytime but oooh boy do they tend to arrive at your six month mark.

[maybeimavillain-byleif]

I said I didn't want spoilers from the episode but of course I couldn't stay still and spoiled myself the scene with Jason👍🏻

⚠️ SPOILER ALERT IF YOU HAVEN'T PLAYED THE EPISODE⚠️

Okay so yes, I couldn't contain myself and looked at the scene😂 but I've only seen it from the moment we go to Goldreamz to sign the papers for Tasha until, of course, the end so now I want to say something about it. I liked the scene very much, Jason was really himself, it was as if he lowered his wall for a moment with us. Since the moment we were sitting on a chair in his office to the boat scene, he opened up to us and told us a bit about himself. Of course the main point was the one on the boat where he talked about his father. No need to say that it touched me on a personal level, me and him were LITERALLY on the same boat. I could understand him very well because I also don't have my dad anymore, the only difference is that he was luckier than me to have lived his father longer than me... And also the illness... Besides that, I loved the fact that his father loved the sea so much to the point to make it his job, his passion and wanted to do everything to save its inhabitants, it was very touching, I bet his father was a very good person. What saddened me was knowing how much Jason has felt lonely, I have a feeling he didn't have many friends if not no one and after his dad's passing I know how lonely one can feel. It touched me a lot even when he said his mom wanted his father to stop smoking and after his passing Jason went to steal his boat because it still smelled like his tobacco... He wanted to feel him again... And also, it was such a bummer to know his stepfather sold Jason's dad's boat, it felt like a stab in the heart... I also feel sad for him, not only our Candy but about that I also want to say this. She then apologized to Jason saying that if she knew she would have never asked him about his father and of course Jason told her to not be sorry and that it's not her fault. About this: don't feel too sad or sorry for asking, we have nothing against the people who ask us about it or when they say something not knowing about one's situation, it's really no one's fault so don't feel too bad about it. Anyway, yeah I really liked the fact that we could talk to Jason like normal people and not playing some kind of game between us, without teasing each other and all that. As I said before, Jason opened up to us, I really felt how sincere he was, he really doesn't seem the type to lie just for fun to give us a hard time or to mock us. He's more the reserved type of person, not a liar (not when talking to us at least). Ah also, our Candy at some point wondered how did he turn out like that and in that moment I thought "well, you know, things like that change you with time" and it made me think how Jason was actually, I know that she asks him directly, first asking how was he as a child but then instantly changing it to teenager. Who knows, maybe Jason was really different before but I guess we won't know much about it for now (maybe one day?). Yeah anyway I'm protracting it a bit so let's say the last thing. All in all, his scene was very nice and touching to the point that our Candy cried and Jason was sorry that he made her cry again. He was sincere, opening up to us and lowering his wall in front of us but then he went back to be his usual self by saying that for that night they have a truce but that from the next day everything would go back to normal. I also really liked the illustration and the way Jason looks at us🫠. That's it, I know I've written a lot and if you arrived at the end, thank you for reading all this, I really felt like sharing my thoughts on Jason, since the episode where we go to his office to work on our first project and while talking he said his father passed away when he was a teen, it was really like throwing a bomb that exploded and I felt that personally, then just yesterday (or the previous day) I searched on Google the meaning behind the type of tattoo that Jason has on his forearm just to discover that it means the person has lost a loved one to now having this intimate scene were he talks about it... It's a bit too much for me🥲 again, thank you for reading this🙏🏻

[basilone]

I want to hear your thoughts on fandom and the recent influx of the term content creation!

Well, anon, you are in luck! (Or not, depending on your definition of luck. 😉) I just so happen to have many Thoughts & Opinions™ about this. I will get wordy, this will get lengthy, and I will be social and put most of my thoughts under a readmore cut.

I personally try to avoid the terms ‘content’ and ‘content creation’ when talking about fandom works and a fandom’s creative pursuits nowadays. Occasionally, sure, it happens that it slips out anyway – it’s a term we’re all really used to using! – but I want to be as mindful about its use as possible. This is a personal decision on my account and I won’t get uppity about other people’s use of these terms, though.

But, Killy, you might say... why would you avoid using these terms? For me, here’s why:

Content is not synonymous with art;

Content creation indicates something different than art creation;

Fandom should not be subject to consumerism;

Fandom is about connection.

If all a fandom puts out is classified as content, that fandom is going to die.

Yeah. I know. Melodramatic much? I’m on my fainting couch here, folks. 😂 But let’s dig in, shall we?

You know, maybe it’s just the archivist in me that balks at the term ‘content’. Content is a data entry field in the archival system we use at my real-life job: literally speaking, this data entry field is where we put a brief summary of the document attached to that specific archival file. It contains information that tells you the key takeaways of what the document is about, but it will not contain the full text of the document itself. Content is one of the points of access for our archival search: I know what I’m looking for, so I put a few keywords into our search and it pulls up the relevant file. But what do I need, really need, in my line of work? It’s the document itself, not the data entry field. The document tells me the whole story that I need to be able to truly do my job well. The content-field is a cliffnotes edition of that story.

It’s the same way with the art we create in fandom. I’m gonna take myself as an example here, because I create a fair bit! (Shocking, I know. Local Tumblr cryptid sighting, more at 11. 😎) I spend hours writing fic. I spend hours sorting through screencaps before screeching at Photoshop for a lengthy amount of time. I spend days pouring over quotes, books, documents, photographs, tutorials, and other things that will help me create something cool. I apply color theory, art framing/perspective, narrative focus, and many other theories and techniques to my writing and my giffing. If I were to put my finished work or any of my WIPs in that same archive system, it would be the document within the archival file. The tags I use on my posts? Those are markers similar to the content-field. They tell you who my gifset depicts and from which show it is. They tell you which OC of mine my fic is about. My work contains these things I tagged.

But my creative work is not content itself.

Content is marketable, easy access, blurb-y stuff. Content is something you absorb within one minute flat. Content is the highlight reel. It’s what fills a page, something you’ll scroll past in a heartbeat, something that barely stands out in a long long long list of stuff. Content is what you consume on a lazy Sunday afternoon without ever being forced to read lengthy pieces, take in the details of what you see, pause mid-scroll to ponder the meaning of life, whatever else have you. Create content and you create a flash in the pan, a quick laugh maybe, before it fizzles back out again. Create content and it’s here today and gone tomorrow without anyone mourning its absence for too long.

Art should last longer than that, don’t you think? 😉

So when I see people put a fic request in an askbox and it’s phrased like “Speirs x spy!reader fluff” and that very same request makes its way into about ten more askboxes before the fandom starts comparing asks? I might be inclined to classify us all as slot machines. Put an ask in and out rolls a fic. Who cares which slot machine it came from? As long as you’ve got your painstakingly crafted fics that you consume the same way you do actual content, right? We, its writers, are just lucky if we get a pat of acknowledgement on our little slot machine head for our troubles, aren’t we?

When I see an overly detailed summary of what sounds like a full-fledged fic in an askbox and the demand is “write this for me”, I recoil from the screen and go “child, who the hell birthed you, were you raised in a barn?” out loud. If you can tell a story in the space of an askbox, consider asking for help to let that story – a story you own, a story that is more yours that it could ever be mine – grow into what it has the potential to be.

When I see fics and gifsets and other creations get likes but not reblogs, I mutter something about the state of fandom economy these days. We exist in a little fandom bubble. Our bubble can’t expand or blow from place to place without a little help from our friends. And you’re my friends, right? I know the follow-button says follow, guys, believe me, I’m not that far gone, but for me ‘follow’ means ‘friend’. 💚 You’re my buddy now. Suck it up. We’ll share a can of peaches. 🍑

When I see fics and other creations get reblogged without tags or comments attached, I die a little on the inside. I feel like a little Victorian orphan child going “please, reblogger, a little penny of thought for its creator, if it pleases?”. I feel like commentless and/or tagless reblogging is giving me nothing, nothing at all, about who you are.

And I want to get to know you! I want to know who’s in my notes. I want to know who’s scrambling through my MotA gifsets like a fat little raccoon inhaling its third helping of a box of jelly-filled donuts. I want to know who is adopting which character and why. I want to know that it’s your birthday, or that you had a bad day and needed a pick-me-up, or that you are locked in an Ikea at three in the morning reading my blog by the bright lights of countless Solhetta bulbs. I want to know that you love my OC Darlene but that you ain’t sure what the hell my OC Lottie’s got to do with anything. I want to know what tickles you – a turn of phrase I used, a color in a gifset, a little detail I captured that made me go !!!!!! on the inside while I was creating too – and I want to know what moves you.

What reaches into the soil of your being and nourishes you enough to blossom into whichever lovely self you can grow to be? What is precious to you? What comforts you in the dark nights of your soul, when all light feels like it’s faded out? What do you love, truly love? What feeling and thought and idea and love love LOVE do you consume – truly consume, head to tail, no takebacks – and what are you consumed by in turn?

Let me connect with you. Let me know the little internet scraps of you that tell me you’re a DeMarco girlie, or that you’re here for Hoosier only, or that you’re as feral and batty about Speirs as I am, or that you actually really can’t stand the one dude everyone else raves about. Let me know that you like angsty quotes on gifsets – feel free to yell at me for making you schedule an impromptu therapy session – or let me know you saw what I did in my fic there and you’ll be demanding compensation from me while you lie down and wail about it. Let me know you’re very into those lovely blues on a gifset (I know, SO good, right??) or that you are side-eyeing me because that close-up of your fave turned you into a little puddle.

Let me know what moves you, because I created these things with love. I created them because they moved me, too. I created them because I have a story to tell, somehow. I created them because the whole world is a string of stories and I want to pass the heart of them on to you. I created them not because I want to jump on a hypetrain that races past all the episodes and all the alternate universes and all the stories without stopping, but because I want to soak up the sun and point at something and tell you “look, isn’t this beautiful?”. I created them not because I am looking for a quick fix or a distraction or an escape, but because I want to give you something that nourishes you as it has nourished me.

That’s so much more than that quick flash in the pan, yeah? That’s so much more than what content could ever hope to be. That’s something that lasts beyond the clicks and gives you an ever-expanding horizon that leaves you wondering just what in the world is next.

Let me repeat point five: if all a fandom puts out is classified as content, that fandom is going to die. Because content doesn’t sustain you. Connection does. And connection? That happens with meaningful interaction. That happens when you stop getting followers and start getting friends. That happens when you treat all forms of art as something unique that can be precious to someone, rather than something to like today and forget about tomorrow.

Can I do a lil mic drop? Yeah. I think I’m gonna. Just this once. 🎤

[11queensupreme11]

I promised myself to wait a little more before reading but I couldn't focus when I just knew this was big.

So yeah, I end reading porn while my lecture... no regrets.

Me, reading chapter 31: Percy, your daddy issues are SHOWING my girl.

Can't blame you tho, your dad's hot. He's not a DILF, he's THE DILF, He deserves every capital letter.

Love that crazy blonde, have a special place in my heart.

Grover just got himself a VIP ticket to HELL, my boy, you just got yourself a target in your back and, all satyrs in both worlds are going to suffer for that decision even with Percy's help.

Poseidon promised to do nothing, but the rest of the family didn't

Love it, cause at least they know SOMETHING is happening now, kinda of. Well, now they KNOW she's alive and that's something...

Could be worse, wondering if Grover noticed her dress and what he's going to see about it. She has become a wife/prisoner? she did run away? Percy is using really expensive jewellery like mere rocks and can say something (a god? a god from a different pantheon?)

Anyways, she's now one bad fall from diving into the incest sin and I'm pushing her, after the first wet bed... well, we know they aren't known for their patience.

I'm rotting for Sun Wukong, just imagine what that tail can do 😏😏😏 (for once, I'm not being horny, but imagine him using that tail to push her close and hugging her. I'm a bitch for cuddles, make me blush like no porn has done before).

(Odin, the other way, is a DILF I totally respect ❤️👄❤️)

Chapter 32

Well, I did see this scenery come... but Zeus accusing Hera of being unfaithful? wishing it to be real, maybe with Ganymede, just to add more burn.

Totally deserves it, but you know, isn't happening.

(Sometimes, for a little bit, I feel sad for her. Her husband is The Bitch, has an almost impossible mission and no one is helping her... well, then I remember how she treated her husband's lover, literally kids, how she's just searching for Percy cause she needs her and then I'm fine, totally deserved)

(Now I'm rooting for the RoR gods, not because they're better, just cause at least they're honest about their feelings about humanity and, don't treat their children like guns with discount in Walmart)

Poseidon taking advantages from all his chances to discover new kinks with Percy (*screams, giggles, hides her face*). You're spoiling us, brat taming is my favorite kind of dom/sub smut, so this was gooooooooood for me

Poseidon just making her cry and then making her kiss him? Percy, you're living a wattpad history and is niceeeeee

Percy/Poseidon and Percy/Beelzebub fans, we're winning tonight!!!!

Beelzebub: A life with Percy or no life at all Me: Whatever you say king, I love your crazyness, don't change

He really is ready to save her, no matter if it means she's leaving him... a maturing king, love it.

Okay, we know he'd never send her to another's man arms (Sorry, I always forget his name), but he's TRYING and that's all I ask from him. He's closer than the others...

(Feeling like that TikTok "what if he's the devil? at least the devil has a job")

(What if he's throwing away her chances to go back home, at least he takes her to Midgard dates 🙄🙄🙄🙄)

Yes, I looking throught the BIGGEST red glass, not seeing red flags, just hearts around Beelcy.

Me:

Poseidon for the horny side and Beelcebub for the romantic side ❤️❤️

You know what would be amazing? Nico having to see all of this.

Imagine, the drama.

We know you love the drama queen, don't try to fool me, I know you survive from our tears and horny desires.

(Queen... just wondering... is this a harem history (Percy ends with all the yanderes) or just one of them? cause for now in my mind they have a horary where they share Percy like a divorce child)

Amazing like always ❤️❤️❤️❤️

YOU READ INCEST PORN AND CANNIBALISM DURING YOUR CLASS LECTURE??? 💀💀💀 i could never, i don't have the guts even when my phone has the privacy screen protector thing 😂

also, "all satyrs in both worlds are going to suffer for that decision even with Percy's help." yeah the satyrs in ror verse are still in deep shit even tho percy tried to help them, cuz even though it was only the GREEK council who saw it, this whole thing made BIG NEWS

can you imagine shiva, parvati, kali, and durga's reaction to hearing that percy was "violated" by an unknown satyr IN HER DREAMS?

or loki's reaction? or literally any god that knows about her and likes her???? or just gods in general (especially the protector of children gods) 💀💀💀 like, satyrs already have a terrible reputation, but to target a "one year old" daughter of poseidon IN HER DREAMS (which is unheard of for satyrs to be capable of, which makes it even more terrifying)???? they're FUCKED 💀💀💀

pan and dionysus are gonna have to put them into hiding or something lmao

there's more posy coming in in the futre, and as for beelzebub, he's just digging a deeper and deeper grave for himself lmao. he is singlehandedly ruining his own ship 😭😭😭 but at least he still has beelcy shippers on his side 💀

[fanficshiddles]

The Redbridge Hunts, Chapter 51

‘I did it because having you alive and hating me, is better than not having you alive at all.’

Claire’s heart broke at hearing Chris’ words. Judging by the look on Loki’s face, she had a feeling that his heart did too…

Loki said nothing at first, his mouth was open in shock at Chris’ admission.

‘You… you knew I didn’t want to be turned.’ Loki said gruffly.

‘You were dying in my arms, Loki. I loved you, so much. More than anyone else. When I first held you as a baby, I knew I’d do anything for my little brother. I was not about to just let you die.’ Chris yelled at Loki and turned away, his back to them.

Loki looked down, Claire saw the pained expression on his face.

‘If you just stopped killing innocent people, like dad did. You terrified me that day.’ Loki said quietly.

Chris turned around. ‘It’s not that easy. I’m addicted to the feeling I get when my victims are scared, the rush of power and the taste of their blood, it’s fresher and rich, I can’t help it. You’ve never been able to accept it, but I don’t care.’ Chris growled low.

Loki pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. ‘I get it, Claire’s blood is the most delicious thing in the world, but I can control myself. I can stop without killing her. You could too, you don’t need to kill them after!’

‘I don’t care about them. Their lives are just fleeting in comparison to us, it will happen sooner or later. Whether I’m here or not. Vampires will overtake.’

‘Would you say that if your soulmate turns out to be human?’ Claire asked.

Chris glared at her. ‘I don’t have a soulmate.’

‘You do, somewhere.’ Loki said. 'Every vampire has a soulmate.'

‘I’ve been to every single town and city in the world, spent weeks at each place, searched in clubs, bars, restaurants, everywhere. A soulmate for me doesn’t exist.’ Chris snarled, though his voice broke a little near the end.

‘Tell Loki what you told me about your job.’ Claire said softly.

Chris clenched his jaw and narrowed his eyes at Claire, then he looked at Loki with a sigh. He put his hands on his hips.

‘Fine. You want the truth? Look, I’m sorry for kidnapping Claire. For trying to hurt you. I was jealous when Claire first came along, that your soulmate literally just walked right into your life when I’ve spent centuries searching for mine. Then when dad told us about the school board wanting you to have my job, I snapped. I love that job, I love my students, vampires and humans. Seeing them thrive and grow, getting excited for being accepted into Universities or Colleges that they applied for, getting jobs that they’ve dreamed of. Helping the young vampires work their way through their first few years where their instincts are at their strongest. The thought of it all being taken away… especially by you, just made me see red. You’ve got everything I want, but you wouldn’t have if I didn’t turn you. Being a vampire isn’t so bad, is it? Better than being dead, surely? Yet you’ve never forgiven me for making that decision, to save my little brother in the only way possible.’

It was then Loki’s turn to get emotional. Claire saw the realisation wash over Loki’s face, his eyes began to water as he stepped backwards until he was leant against the table for support.

‘I… I didn’t realise you’d been searching for your soulmate. I also didn’t realise how much it affected you when I was hit by the car… I’ve been a fool… You’re not wrong, being a vampire is better than death. I just… I just didn’t see it at the time and was so angry and scared at the same time, it clouded my judgement. I’m… sorry, for not being thankful that you saved me. For not ever listening or giving you a chance.

I looked up to you so much, Chris. As my big brother. You were always there for me, looking out for me. When I was told about you and dad being vampires, I was crushed. Though I did come round to the idea, when dad explained about the blood bank… but then I learned that you didn’t agree with it. I was scared of you, the way you just drank from humans and killed them without care. That was a side to you I had never seen, didn’t want to see. I didn’t want to become like that, so when you turned me, I was terrified about doing the same. I've got your blood literally running through my veins, not just as brothers.'

Chris eyes widened a little at Loki’s words, his stance softened and he wasn’t quite as guarded anymore. ‘Scaring you was the last thing I wanted to do, I never wanted you to see me like that… I didn’t even want to tell you about us being vampires but dad was insistent about telling you the truth. That’s why my relationship with him dwindled even more, he just went ahead and told you anyway. I was scared of it causing a rift between us, and rightfully so. That’s exactly what happened.’

‘I would have found out sooner or later. I was beginning to wonder why you and dad never aged.’ Loki sighed and paused for a second. ‘I don’t want to take your job. You didn’t listen to me when dad told us. You are good at it, I know that. I was all for telling the board I didn’t want it and that you should remain the head teacher, until you went nuts and tried to kill me. That’s the first time I’ve genuinely thought you were actually attempting to murder me.’

Chris looked down. ‘I know. I’m ashamed to admit that I think I was, I just saw blind rage. I can’t excuse it.’ He shrugged and looked back up at Loki. ‘I can’t change who or what I am. But part of who I am, still cares and loves his little brother. Always has done. Always will. Even it that means being hated, at least you’re alive.’

Loki and Chris stared at one another for what felt like the longest time. Then, eventually, Loki stood up straight and walked towards him, Chris wasn’t sure what he was about to do at first. Though Loki opened his arms and hugged him tightly. Chris was frozen on the spot for a minute, his brain took some time to process what was going on.

Though the moment Chris put his arms around Loki in return, both of them instantly felt a relief of sorts, the love and bond they once had when Loki was younger came flooding back. All the good times and memories.

When they let go from the longest hug, they both had watery eyes. Though as they both took a step backwards, Claire was sat on the chair at the side, in floods of tears at the scene. They both turned their heads to look at her and chuckled.

‘You guys… That was… so beautiful.’ She sobbed and pulled her cloak round to wipe her eyes.

Chris rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. ‘Well… I’m away to go back to the hunt before it’s all over. I’m sorry, Claire. For kidnapping you and scaring you.’

Claire stood and walked over to Loki, still wiping her eyes. ‘I… I understand why you did. Though not to say it wasn’t scary at the start, but I’m glad that something good has come out of it in the end.’

Loki nodded in agreement, he put his arm around Claire tightly and kissed the top of her head.

‘Though if you ever hurt or kidnap her again, brother or not, I’ll beat the shit out of you.’ Loki growled at Chris.

Chris smirked and as he walked by, he patted Loki on the shoulder. ‘Sure you will, lil bro.’

Loki felt a strange sensation in his heart. It had been a long time since Chris called him that, he used to always use that nickname for him. It made him smile a little as Chris headed out the door and took off.

Claire wrapped her arms around Loki’s waist and hugged him tightly. Loki pressed his face into her hair and he breathed in deeply.

‘Let’s get you home.’ He hummed and squeezed her tightly.

[sleepyboywrites]

@biascatry

I genuinely hope you see this, it says your blog doesn't exist in the search thing so here's hoping for the best that you get notified. But not only may you ask I am happy to deliver. :)

Denial is not a river in Egypt it's spelled differently

Masky is convinced that he hates you, ever since you joined the proxies he's been in nothing but constant annoyance and misery. The more he dwells on it the more he realizes it's all your fault.

You with your stupid hair that looks so soft, and eyes and laugh and smile. You and your infuriating pout and frown and tears. It's making his own job incredibly difficult, not to mention as the one who recruited you, you came to him for everything, he regrets it, he should've killed you. But somehow, some way, the thought of you dead was worse.

What was even worse than all of that was you were avoiding him, he used to have to beg you to leave him to his work, beg you to stop following him. But now it's been two weeks and he hasn't even seen you once and now you're hanging out with Toby? Toby, of all people, that's who you preferred over him. Hoodie he gets, Hoodie, if you warm him up to you enough is surprisingly sweet, but Toby? You were his recruit not Rodgers and that mood swinging maniac should be literally anywhere else than with you. You were annoying enough without Rodgers grubby hands on you and his annoying traits rubbing off on you.

He had given you a glare so intense and menacing hoping to deter you from Toby and back to him. Unfortunately for him the opposite occurred and soon you were sent on your first solo mission meaning he couldn't even keep an eye on you anymore. The entire house felt his rage. As he made sure it was filled with the screams of several unlucky contestants of torture playthings and anyone who brought him any form of paperwork would be horribly berated.

Eventually Toby approached him. "What's your fucking deal dick?"

Anger boils in his gut until he simply swung at Toby hitting him square in and breaking his nose.

"Feel better now? Why the fuck are you tormenting the entire house? We didn't even do anything to you." Toby didn't flinch, he figured his inability to feel pain is why he was sent to deal with him.

Masky shoved Toby aggressively away from him. "Why can't you keep your grubby little hands off of things that aren't yours. He's mine, was mine, is mine, and he isn't ready for a solo mission!" Masky hissed out through his gritted teeth. "Get to the fucking paramedic station."

"All this because you're worried about y/n? Dude c'mon. He's a big boy he can handle himself and doesn't need us looking over his shoulder all the time. Plus I taught him half of what he knows and you taught him the rest, he's fine." Toby rolled his eyes at Masky's tantrum over something so small.

"You shouldn't have taught him anything, you are reckless and careless and the reason he's going to come home hurt or not at all. I can't lose him okay I--" Masky cut himself off. "Go to the paramedic center now, before I take you there myself and throw you through their door."

Toby wiped more blood from his nose and shoved Masky away from towering over him. "Fine I'll go but maybe if you got over yourself and realized how you felt instead of making him feel inadequate and a burden he wouldn't have asked me for help to begin with." Toby said firmly staring at the masked man in front of him.

"Ex-fucking-cuse me, but what exactly are you implying?" Masky exclaimed infuriated as he picks Toby up by his collar.

"Jesus H Christ... Denial is more than a river in Egypt." Toby freed himself from Masky's grasp shooing his hands away as he left Masky's office. "Work yourself out man, stop taking it out on us cause your lover boy's out of town."

You returned a week later and were immediately requested to Masky's office, where surprisingly he hugged you, clinged to you practically. "You're safe, good." He'd then usher you behind closed doors and make you sit down offering you a meal. "We need to talk." Masky slid you a big stack of papers the second you sat down. "Sign these."

"What... Are these?" You'd ask thumbing through the pages absentmindedly. A look of disdain as you look at them.

"Consent forms, nothing too important. Sign." Masky said this the same way someone would talk about spam mail or permission slips.

"Oh, Consent forms." You almost signed absentmindedly before the words registered. "Consent forms for fucking what???"

"To be my assistant, permanently, meaning we do missions together and you are an extension of my authority as right hand to slender blah blah blah promotion, sign." Masky taps the stack of papers with his index. "...please."

"But you hate me? I don't want to bother you and I--" You began rambling and attempting to hand back the papers to Masky in refusal and you saw the other man's eyebrows furrow exasperatedly under his mask.

Masky took off his mask, his head in his hands, fingers entangled in his own hair as he looks up at you pleadingly. "Shut up, I don't hate you, quite the opposite sign. Please."

"THAT'S CODE FOR HE LOVES YOU AND WAS A MAJOR DICK WHEN YOU WENT SOLO CAUSE HE WAS WORRIED SO SIGN THE PAPERS" Toby's words were muffled from right outside the door but that didn't stop you from hearing and flushing red in a weird combination of confusion and awe.

"Shut it and scram Rodgers! These are private matters!" Masky hollers, sighing as he heard several scrambling footsteps before muttering lowly, "He wasn't wrong. I love you, I worry about you, so please. Please sign the paperwork."

[fatalitysficbakery]

𓆰♥︎𓆪 What We Could’ve Had. (Ep. 1)

— Ellie Williams x Riley Abel

genre: angst/fluff/smut-TY.

warnings: rewriting endings.

synopsis: what happens if riley hadn’t died? what life would she and ellie have lived?

↳ 𓆰 Fatalitysficbakery navigation menu 𓆪.

↳ 𓆰 Fatalitysficbakery multifandomed &&’ oc menu #2 𓆪.

❦ ⌫ ❦

"Easy girl," I call to my mare when we bound a particularly icy corner, finally eye to eye with something more than miles of snowy forest, the chill hadn't set in until we'd arrived, chalk it up to the adrenaline of having to help make sure myself, two horses, and a grown man are safe from the hordes of infected searching for their next meals. It had been a long road to get here. Figuratively, and literally.

Jackson City.

I never thought I'd see the day, a town lively with families, survivors that escaped the carnage, children, for fucks sake. It almost seemed normal, can't remember the last time I felt normalcy like this, and for a moment, though it was rightful on their part, I wasn't hopeful I ever would.

He had to pull a lot of strings to get me here, Joel. Talked and pleaded for almost 3 months on my behalf, meanwhile, I was stuck holed up in an old warehouse that had begun...decaying. Mold, leaks, holes...If Joel hadn't managed to put in a good word, I don't know where I'd be. When you're an adventure-seeking kid, fighting 'zombies' in an apocalypse sounds exciting, and exhilarating, you fantasize about how you'll save the world, kick infected ass, and most importantly — Be one of the chosen ones to survive. Because of your 'strength', your 'resilience'. I was that and then some, and it had unfortunately burnt bridges I never even got to build.

So, I waited. I waited with bated breathing until the day Joel came back with two horses, food, and supplies for the long road home.

Home. I hadn't had one of those in a while. Not since her anyway.

Hopping down from Lainey's back, I leave her to be taken to the stables. Everyone seemed to have their own tasks, it was a well-oiled engine, you could say. Before I even knew it I was being led down the street, and the question I had on my tongue was as predictable as ever, I could tell by the way the man who never smiled broke character to chuckle at it.

"How is she?"

𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎

"Ellie? Well, she's Ellie. Stubborn as a mule but damn good at any job thrown her way. Ellie...She's...good."

It wasn't long before that familiar brooding solemn Joel returned to my vision, I could tell something was heavy on his mind, and before I knew it I was chewing on my bottom lip with the guiltiest feeling baring on my soul, knowing I was probably to blame for how strained their relationship seemed to be now. I couldn't help it, really, the man looked like a kicked puppy, I had to say something.

I clear my throat and begin an apology that was long overdue on my part. "Hey Joel, I'm uh, I'm so-"

He stopped me with a raise of his hand, shaking his head before letting out a sigh so filled with regret you could hear behind it. "The fault was and is all mine for lying to her in the first place, darlin'. You ain't done a thing but care about Ellie since y'all have known one another, and truthfully...that's all I ask for. She deserves that much."

My mouth went drier than the damned Sahara at his words, but I couldn't get another one of my own in before he was walking ahead of me, forcing me into a power walk so that I could keep up. He eyes me from his peripheral, and a brief moment passes before his arm wraps around my shoulder, it's a fatherly type of presence that I had learned to revel in since I'd gotten closer to Joel. "Welcome home, kid. Let's get you outta this snow, and show you where you'll be sleeping."

He whistles, and calls someone over, a woman, long brunette locks, tan ivory skin, around my height but a little taller comes striding over to us, pretty, looks kind. Joel calls her Dina as he introduces us, her hand held out to shake mine. "Dina, this is Riley, the newest of us. Can you show her to her room? Me and Jesse are heading out to patrol before it gets too dark out here."

Dina nods eagerly enough that it makes me feel less nervous and a little more welcome. "Not a problem, where's she headed?"

"Cabin. By me and Ellie's place."

"Gotcha. C'mon, Ri. We got it from here, right? I think so. It's nice to meet you, by the way. Welcome to our little sanctuary."

She and I were already walking away from Joel and I'd barely even noticed, my heart thundering in my ears, repeating Joel's words over and over like a broken record in my head; I miss almost every word she speaks aside from the last bit, muttering my own 'Nice to meet you too, thank you' back at her, my heart pounding in my chest thrice as quickly as it should.

'Cabin. By me and Ellie's place.'

Jesus, be a fence.

6:00 am, Friday. I remember the first time I saw someone turn into an infected before my own eyes, at first it was like any old common cold, we kept the wound clean but it got bad, horrible really fast. The 'adults' wanted me out while it happened, though I knew what the outcome would be; I'd seen the slaughter and participated in it firsthand just trying to survive, but this was different. — I peeked around the corner after I had been kicked out, a crack in the door my only view into the room, and it was there I saw it go from bad to worse. It had only been around 8 minutes when his symptoms went from common cold to something much more painful, I had never heard such bone-chilling agonized screaming before, his body writhed and twisted, but not in the traditional horror movie sense, no, he looked as if he wanted to get comfortable, ease the pain any way he could but he couldn't. It'd stayed that way for around 4 minutes and then... Silence. Complete. 3 more minutes. It was still like the moment had been frozen in time. You could hear a pin drop. A low growling hum broke the silence. A resounding gunshot joined its cause shortly thereafter. I saw his eyes before they closed for the final time, and if I hadn't known any better, I would've thought he'd seen me too the way they appeared to look directly my way. Grey, nearly dead, but filled with what looked like relief. He seemed almost...thankful. 15 minutes. I counted every minute from the clock in the room to the watch on my wrist, I'd counted. He’d been a normal guy. One that had come and gone in only 15 minutes. And he wasn't the only one, soon it was widely known how fast it took and I was used to counting down every. little. minute. ↳ When did 15 minutes become so long? My hand shook pointing the gun at her, I couldn't do it, man. I wouldn't. I won't. Ellie and I've been holed up in this old abandoned mall for 4 hours now, it wasn't supposed to be this long a trip but we got sidetracked by the wonders of the mall that I'd been wanting to show her since I found it, only, I'd hurt her. I knew I did, she was pissed when I snuck up on her after not checking in in so damn long. I couldn't leave without a goodbye. As I look over at her sleeping figure, I find myself more confused. The last 4 hours were fun, or at least, the first two were. We explored, found stupid scare masks to put on, made our own fun, and finally, we got to play video games, just like the magic skull had told Ellie we wouldn't be able to. The smile on her face had made everything worthwhile. A fairytale in an apocalypse. ...I guess the apocalypse didn't like that all too much. Fun. Romance. It was already too late when the stalker had pounced on Ellie, I emptied my clip into the damned thing and it still got one final bite in. Ellie didn't utter a word about dying, or turning. She seemed disconnected after it happened, her own pistol pointed at her head, she waited for a shot that wouldn't come. I couldn't do it. I pleaded with her. Give me those last 15 minutes. She'd silently nodded. That was two hours ago.

"Well, this is it. I was wondering why Joel seemed so hellbent on getting this place cleaned up. We haven't happened upon any other survivors in months. You must be pretty special, the people around here aren't too...trusting." Dina chattered on as we entered the small one-bedroom cabin that'd be my living space. I had my own living space. It wasn't big, no upstairs, just right for a person living by themselves. I couldn't bite back my grin, a real-life home, no mold, no cracks or leaks, there's a space heater in the corner, I must've looked like a dream-struck idiot because Dina spoke up again.

"Where were you before this? If I may."

"Cold ass warehouse."

I hear her snort a little, leaned up against the opened front door. I was expecting another comment, more small talk that felt like it'd been running on for hours.

Instead, I'm not met with the new sound of Dina's voice, my ears are met with a familiar voice, one I could remember just by the sound of her breathing. When presented with the option of fight, flight, or freeze, I was always more privy to picking either of the former but today, my body seized, a rare freeze.

8:30 am, Sunday. I don't know if I made the right decision. After Ellie survived the bite and continued to survive the bite, I made an impulsive decision a week later. Told Marlene about what had happened, and that's why we're here in this car. El's head in my lap, asleep soundly while riding to Firefly headquarters with Joel to possibly find a cure to end this thing. At least that's how Marlene explained it. She told me they'd run some tests, learn what makes Ellie immune, and see if they could replicate it, turn it into an antivirus. I wanted to stay hopeful; She was. And she'd been the one attacked. Ellie's selfless like that, she always has been, and it amazed me usually. Right now...It fucking terrified me. In the pit of my stomach, I felt dread. In the pit of my stomach, I felt dread, horror, and concern while going to a place where I had desperately wanted to be only three weeks before. ↳ We had to pull over. The anxiety got so bad Ellie had to hold my hair while I vomited on the side of the road, Joel stood protectively near us with a shotgun in his hand and though neither party complained, I had enough shame and embarrassment for all three of us. The nausea is still here. So is the anxiety.

"Di, you left some clothes at mi-" My heart, I was sure, had dropped to my ass when I laid eyes on her, it was almost surreal. There she was. Ellie Williams in the flesh stood in front of my very eyes, it was like those dramatic romcoms where the two main characters lay eyes on one another for the first time, cheesy music playing behind them and the wind mysteriously blowing in their hair dramatically.

Reality was far less compelling, maybe even disappointing. Her eyes didn't move from mine, gaze unwavering and I wish I could say I held her gaze, that I was a stronger woman, but the person in front of me; Her effect was strong, my heart pounding in my chest, thudding loudly in my ears.

She was still the same Ellie I once knew, her features familiar but older, voice a little lower and filled with a light rasp and a newfound maturity. She was beautiful, but she always had been. — I'm transported into the past, remembering how many times I spent staring at and just...admiring her.

I watch her feet when she shuffles over to Dina, butterflies in my stomach and chest tight. I know I have zero right to be jealous and zero claim on Ellie anymore, hell I barely even know her now but fuck did it still hurt seeing that damned black bra sitting atop the pile of clothes she handed back to Dina, the implications behind it rather clear.

I don't know why I didn't allow myself to speak first, my tongue darting out to lick my dried chapped lips; I couldn't feel any more excited than the moment she took the option from me, she turned to me, that all too familiar half grin on her face. "Riley..."

"You two...know each other?"

My gaze drags itself back over to her and Dina. I only manage a weak nod. Ellie's own eyes hadn't left me, and it fills me with a hope I don't believe I deserve to have. I'm not able to muster even the smallest reply. My chest feels so tight that I have to remind myself I'm not dying, though it feels like a heart attack waiting to happen when I'm standing in front of her. Funny that, an entire apocalypse happening before our very eyes and the thing most likely to end my life were the eyes of the ex-girlfriend I let slip through my grasp. Oh, this cursed blessing we call love and its bittersweet intricacies.

"Ellie?" Dina asks again. The look on her face and the desperation in her voice aren't dead on me. I could tell she'd probably put two and two together on her lonesome when both Ellie and I hadn't uttered a word, both of us looking like deers caught in headlights. She clears her throat, resigning her efforts to find out more, at least for now, that is.

"How did you find this place?" Ellie speaks up next, one of her fists clenched to her side, a tell I'd learned meant she was holding back her emotions. Fighting them with all her might. I didn't quite blame her.

I had a track record for surprising her, and not in ways I've ever been too proud of.

"Joel's been putting in a good word for me, i-it was never a sure thing because the locals wouldn't trust me. Took a good almost 3 months, but I'm here." I muster up the weakest breathy laugh I can, a stupid attempt at keeping things light, but I could tell by the look in her eyes...I'd hurt her again.

I knew why I didn't keep in touch, but it'd always look bad in her eyes, rightfully so. I was always running from something, or towards it. And in pursuit, I'd isolate myself. Abandon the ones who cared too much, who loved too hard. It was all so overwhelming when in hindsight...I didn't even love myself yet, and so I ran. I ran to convince myself I couldn't be loved, or maybe I ran because I'm scared to be loved. Either way, I've done a helluva lot of it. From my past, my present, hell even my damned future.

"So...You've been keeping in touch with Joel? Huh."

Marlene was someone I thought I could trust, I regarded her with the highest respect. She is, was, like a maternal figure to me, motherly and caring. She trained with me, helped me learn to hunt for food, and made sure I was fed and clothed. Hell, she'd have given me the clothes from her sooner than she'd let me go cold. All this being told to say,,, FUCK MARLENE, and FUCK FIREFLY. We're ending this tonight. Ellie deserves better than the world is giving to her, and I'm fucking determined to give it to her. I brought Marlene to her eagerly when I found out just how special I already knew she was, I've put in danger too many damn times for me to count. I'm making this better. Ellie, do you hear me? I'm making this fucking better!

I couldn't breathe, it felt like I was suffocating from thick tension in the cabin, two pairs of eyes on me and the most important set held a hint of betrayal in them, I couldn't hold on much longer but it wasn't me who gave in first. Ellie looks at me with so much conflict in those all too familiar eyes. She looks like she wants to say something, anything. After a while I see her gaze travel back to Dina and I feel a little sense of bittersweet relief.

She was slipping through the cracks of my fingers all over again.

"We should go help start on dinner for the kids, D."

There was something in Dina's gaze that told she picked up on the history. She was quiet, demure as opposed to the excitable social butterfly I'd met just moments before. She nods at Ellie's request, giving me only a quiet "Bye" with a limp-handed wave.

Ellie doesn't look back. I keep willing her to. I know she feels my stare burning through hers. 'Ellie, please' My eyes pleaded, and I could feel tears welling. My heart nearly stops the second she turns one last time. I can feel my heart beating out of my chest. Her expression is unreadable, but that doesn't matter to me.

She looked back.

The carnage was bad. Marlene was just one of many Joel and I slaughtered that night. Would you not do the same for the girl you loved? I couldn't watch them kill her, and I got the sense Joel felt a fatherly love towards her now. He wasn't letting her go down without a fight either and that...That I don't regret. She's still alive. The aftermath is what keeps me up most nights. Ellie was suspicious from the get-go, Joel had fed her some lie about there being others like her, about raiders slaughtering the many in the Fireflies massacre. He told her a cure couldn't be replicated from her immunity, and I? I sat there numbly nodding along when all I wanted to do was blurt out the truth and deal with the consequences while this could still possibly be salvaged, and maybe that was delusional of me, but Joel could see I didn't have it me to keep this a secret from her...I could see the disappointment clouding his stare. When Ellie had finally had enough of the storytelling, he told her everything while I sat with my hands folded neatly in my lap and my head bowed cowardly, I wasn't able to look her in the eyes. I had never heard Ellie so angry the night she broke up with me. I deserved it...We deserved it.

"Ex?" Dina asks and I instantly wanna shut down. We were just getting into a rhythm, and though we weren't official? I still feel so damn guilty about the emotions Riley's presence brings me. A conflicting feeling of happiness, relief, a little bit of anger, and sadness? But there was one untapped emotion that was unlocking its cage at the mere sight of her. I choke it down and give Dina an honest answer because I at least owe her that.

"Mhmm. But we were kids. Nothing serious."

The understatement in my words made me wanna curl in on myself. How could I sit there and tell Dina she wasn't serious to me when she's been the only thing on my mind since before I even met Dina.

I feel sick.

"Nothing serious, Williams?" Dina arches a brow as if scanning me for any hint of a lie, and I cook up another one even with multiple on my tongue already. I stomach the acid that comes with swallowing my words. Hard truths.

"Yeah. Nothing serious. Why? Jealous?" Our shoulders knock, and I force myself to smile, I give myself this distraction because I'm not quite sure I'm ready to face the music. Eventually, I know it won't be an option but right now...

"That's cute, Williams. No, I'm not jealous but remind me to kick your ass with some snowballs later just for asking."

"Defensive. Must be some truth to it."

Dina sends a glare my way and that red blush dusts across her cheeks with a familiarity that both warms and breaks my heart immensely. She gives me the middle finger and I can't help but chuckle. "Again? Would be my pleasure."

She groans, but I can see that little hint of a smile appearing on her lips. One she can't control, and yet she tries hard to.

"Shove it."

𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎

"WHEW." Exhaustion was written on Riley's face, the midmorning frost can hardly keep her awake, nor the sound of hooves galloping through the snow. What does keep her awake comes in the form of the brunette on the horse in front of her.

Exes were something most regarded through black and white lenses, there were unwritten guidelines on how to deal with them and the most important always seemed to be to stay away from them. Protect your peace; Heal.

It was easier said than done when Ellie Williams was your ex. She had an effect on people that left a mark in their psyche so deep, she simply stayed there far past her welcome. Riley was aching, she was aching every day she was near her. The air was always thicker than a knife could cut it, so many words were left unsaid, and emotions were left with no closure.

Neither is ready to talk just yet. Neither are ready until the first rumble of thunder and lightning. The two stop their horses to look at back at one another with concern etched onto their features. Riley is the first to speak up.

"Should we go back?"

Ellie's eyes take Riley in and for a moment she's silent as if contemplating something before ultimately shaking her head. "Nah, I know a place not too far from here. We won't have time to go back. C'mon."

Without another word uttered between them, Riley trails behind her heart beating out of her chest at the thought of being alone with Ellie for God knows how long while the storm raged, this was something she'd been anxious about since the first day she was allowed duty.

↳

There were unwritten rules when dealing with exes and the most important was that you obviously don't associate with them let alone get back together with them, and maybe that was Ellie's problem. She had never been too fond of the rules. Her eyes were glued to Riley's back as they walked into the warehouse, a storm brewing too fast for them to dodge it and get back to town, Riley could feel her heart pounding at simply the thought of being stuck with Ellie during a snowstorm.

What would they do? Talk about? She was convinced Ellie wanted nothing to do with her and she couldn't start a conversation, not with guilt bearing on her heavier than it'd done the night she betrayed her.

She can't look her way.

"Y'know if we're gonna be stuck here, we might as well get used to it."

Ellie was the first to speak up and it'd shock Riley into silence if she'd been talking. She swallows, her palms feeling sweaty and eyes darting around the room to find something they can land on. She has to reply but she has no idea what to say.

"Yeah." is all she musters. Fucking yeah.

"That the best ya got? After all these years?"

Ellie doesn't know what she's doing or why she's doing it, she just knows Riley brings it out of her and she hates every last second of it, the way her heart desires forgiveness and reconciliation, even if her mind didn't. It was a pull she could never quite deny when it came to her.

Riley licks her lips, head nodding. She turns on her heels and their eyes meet for the first time since they'd reunited in a way that gave Riley hope in her time here. Their time here. "You wanna talk? Okay, let's talk."

↳

"We were so young back then. Naive. Stupid." She coughed, her lungs hadn't felt the burn of smoking weed in so long. She'd almost forgotten it existed until Ellie pulled a joint out of her boot; Her cough turns into a small laugh that's followed by Ellie's own. Her hand reaches over and she damn near flinches when it's rested on her arm. She can't help the way her eyes shift to the movement, Ellie's voice soft in her ears.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, yeah I'm okay."

The silence that befalls them is a tense comfort, their eyes never drifting and both with matching smiles on their lips.

"I missed you, Ri. You were suppoed to be here."

Riley's smile slowly faded with Ellie's words, looking elsewhere, she leans forward slightly, "I'm sorry I wasn't."

Before Ellie even knows it she's reaching out, tilting Riley's head back to her, lips without further warning pressing to hers, and for once in her life, she doesn't regret it.

It feels right. Ellie's hand tangles into her hair, tugging her as close as she could damn well get her as she attempts to put years of being apart, years of trauma and heartbreak into one lousy kiss.

Her hands roam, and it's not something just desperate. Something needy. She wants to memorize Riley all over again, and if she could simply confirm the reality of the situation as well, she absolutely would. She simply needed the confirmation.

Her fingers trail up her neck, eyes moving down to the woman who'd somehow ended up beneath her, chests heaving and lips connected by a thin line.

"Thank you for coming back."

A lazy smile rests upon her lips, her body filled with nervous energy, she wished to be cool, smooth, something that didn't come out as a shy muddled mess, yet the second her lips part...

"Can we...do that again?"

"Kiss?" A low chuckle rumbles through her chest, propped up on an elbow with her chest pressed against hers.

"Yeah."

"Yeah?" Licking her lips, she brings Rylie closer, feeling the tension release from her joints, the stress of longing and unending denial. She'd always carried it with her like weight, something she couldn't shake.

For now, she feels light.

𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎

Ellie's eyes cut over to Dina for the 50th time, chewing on her bottom lip, I can tell she feels the same horrid mix of guilt and relief. I can see it on her face and I don't think I can quite blame her. What we've done...

I never deserved to just be able to walk back into Ellie's life and I'm sure Dina is feeling every bit of it, I think I know the feeling. That hopelessness I felt the moment I saw them together. As though I thought she wouldn't have moved on.

"It's okay, El." I put a hand on her shoulder that I know won't be as relieving and comforting as I hope it to be.

"She's looking over here." She whispers back to me, hand grasping mine like it was her only way to escape, and my lips take no time when kissing the back of it, allowing her to pull me closer for a moment.

I feel sick myself, I feel nauseous. I know I don't deserve this. I know Dina deserves better, and yet my selfishness doesn't allow me to let go. I hold on tighter.

There's a tap on my shoulder, and when I turn around, I can feel my stomach tighten. I deserve this. Whatever hell there is to pay.

Instead she holds up a red solo cup and offers it to me. I can smell the nostalgic aroma of hot chocolate, the steam warming my freezing cheeks as I take it between a gloved hand. El lingers right beside me, I can feel her breath on my skin.

"Drink. It has marshmallows. That's a rarity, y'know." Dina prompts, nodding her head to the cup, her expression hasn't changed and it's almost threatening though in the most oddly comforting sense I had ever felt.

"Is it poisoned?" My stomach growls, hesitating the slightest bit to bring it to my lips. It was a joke. Mostly.

Without a beat skipped, Dina shrugs. "Yes."

There it stays, that blank expression for another beat or two. All three of us are stuck in a staredown and none of us a blinking.

Her lips quirk up into a little half-smile. I'm soon to follow. Ellie looks relieved.

My lips wrap around the rim.

𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎

A/N: I’M BACK! and i brought LESBIANS with me!! 😁

[qqueenofhades]

I graduated a year ago and had a job for the 2 months and they laid me off without reason or anything because i was still in the 3 month trial period. Anyway I noticed that they didn’t let the engineers and architects reach the year, you know avoid seniority and stuff. And that was in April, it’s gonna be a year and I still haven’t got another job, I’ve done some freelance jobs here and there, but the last one was for December. I know January it’s kind of a dead month but I’m dying with it, honestly I don’t think I’ll reach the minimum payment of my credit and my car needs gas(at least it’s payed off) and I’m honestly so goddamned depressed. Somewhere I read that a lot of vacancies come out in January but I haven’t seen that many and the ones I’ve seen and sent haven’t even contacted me

Im sorry to bring all this glum to you, but I’ve seen some other recent graduate anons come at you, and you’re so understanding and aware of this economy and job market 🥹

Alas, as ever, I wish that I could make it better and tell you exactly what to do to fix it, but I cannot. However as always, I am absolutely offering you a cup of your preferred beverage, a baked goodie, and a chance to sit at my Internet Grandmother Kitchen and get some things off your chest, so yes. It does suck a lot out there and while it sounds cliché, you gotta do your best, keep trying, and see what comes along.

Hopefully you have other resources or support systems, but if you are in the US and need assistance in basic stuff like paying bills and getting gas, please think about looking into the federally funded 211 service:

Not enough people know about this, and it's way better than hoping that people on the Internet can help you out with bills every time you hit a crunch (although if you do have generous friends, I myself have been saved by them a time or two -- absolutely no shame or judgment here!) But they literally exist to help people find funds and resources for situations like this, and even if you're not in the US, I advise looking for similar government initiatives or programs. They might or might not exist (alas, I am American so I only know our version) but there should be at least something like this. Try searching "211 service equivalent for [country]" or similar keywords?

And of course, if you are reading this and ARE in the US: look into 211! Please don't drive yourself crazy with fear or stress! There are definitely stopgap services and funds that exist for just this sort of thing! Please do use them. I am sending hugs.

[dazaiandhislovelybandages]

Just a regular day {Shinichiro Sano}

Pairings: Shinichiro Sano x reader

Warnings: reader has mild anxiety, MANGA SPOILERS,

A/n: if someone can explain Izana's family tree to me...like Tokyo Revengers is one of my comfort manga and I've read it like at least three times yet I still don't understand that part.

"Shin, wake up." You shook your boyfriend's shoulders. 

"Just five more minutes. Emma will come to wake us up, angel." A sigh escaped your lips, he would always depend on his younger sister whenever he wanted to wake up.

"Emma came in 15 minutes ago." You lied. Shinichiro slowly sat on the bed and rubbed his eyes before quickly fixing his bed hair. He let out a yawn and turned to face you: technically half naked (only wearing one of his shirts and your underwear). "Good morning." 

"Good morning." He patted your head. "How did you sleep?"  

"It was nice, you?" 

"Good if you rule out the fact that you woke me up one hour earlier than usual." 

For a brief second you felt uncomfortable. You didn't know how on earth Shinichiro had figured out you were lying but he had. You hadn't been dating each other for long so you had no idea how he was going to react.

"I'm sorry, I was nervous and-"

"I didn't say I was angry." Shinichiro leaned backwards, pressing his back against the headboard. He grabbed you by the hips, urging you to sit on his lap. Almost out of instinct, you wrapped your arms around his neck. "More time with you."

You laughed and at that moment Shinichiro felt like his heart was ready to explode. "We're literally inseparable. And we've only been dating for 2 days now?" 

"So what?" He kissed your cheek. "I hope you like this because I can't really hold back anymore..." There was a small pause in which you placed your head on the crook of Shinichiro's neck. "About the job interview...do you want me to wait outside? I can open the shop later, there is no problem." 

You threw your head back in frustration. Despite it being the reason you had barely slept and had woken your boyfriend up early, you had forgotten about your job interview.

Shinichiro and you had searched through all of his grandpa's newspapers trying to find a decent job for you and after three hours you came across a pretty good one.

"No, no, I can handle this myself." 

"Are you sure?" 

"Yes." 

"Just...like...when you're done come over the shop, just to make sure you're okay and that everything went well. It's a nasty world we're living in." 

"You worry too much." 

You flashed your boyfriend a smile before getting out of bed and picking your clothes from inside the closet. Shinichiro laid back on the bed, admiring your body. When he realised that his bladder wanted to be relieved, he went to the bathroom. You, on the other hand, proceeded to get dressed. 

“What?” You asked him. He was leaning against the door frame, looking at you fixing your shirt. 

“Nothing.” He smiled.  

  Once you were done, you neatly folded Shinichiro’s clothes and placed them at the edge of his bed.

A few moments later Emma knocked on the door to inform you that breakfast was ready. But as soon as she opened the door to you and Shinichiro already put of bed and already dressed, her eyes widened in surprise. She didn't know about you, but her older brother was usually asleep at such an early time. 

Emma laughed it off and after mumbling a quiet good morning, she ran all the way to Mikey's room to inform him about the strange incident she had come across.

  Even though you and the oldest Sano sibling started dating two days ago, your presence in the house during the mornings was not unusual. However, unlike today, you were usually accompanied by Wakasa and/or Akashi.

As per usual, Shinichiro was trying to separate Mikey from his blanket, their grandpa was reading his morning newspaper and you and Emma were talking about clothes shops in the local mall.

And after numerous complains from both Emma and Shinichiro, Mikey 'offered' to wash the dishes so you and his older brother could head off to work.

  One hour later, you and Shinichiro were standing outside the music equipment shop. It wasn't far from his shop, a ten minutes walk at best, something that helped with calming him down. He took a quick look inside through the glass door, noting that there was only one employee in there. You didn't know why, but Shinichiro seemed to be more anxious than you, maybe because he used to be in a gang and should always be cautious? You had no idea.

“I’m going in.” You took a deep breath and turned around to go into the store but Shinichiro grabbed your wrist. 

“Good luck.” He said before planting a kiss on your lips and patting your head. He fixed your hair with his right hand with his left hand still holding onto your wrist. “I love you, angel.” You blushed at the cute nickname. 

“I love you too.” You shyly replied and gave him a quick hug before walking into the shop.  

  Thankfully, everything went well and after an almost two hours interview, you were to start work tomorrow morning. It appeared that you weren't the only employee there and there was still one more person working at the shop but he was a student and couldn’t work in the mornings for obvious reasons.  

“Oh my god, you’re finally here.” Shinichiro immediately stood up as soon as you walked in his store. No customers had arrived yet so he was fixing his own motorcycle with his work uniform stained with what appeared to be mud and dirt. “How did it go?”

“I got the job! I’ll be starting tomorrow morning!” You said excitedly. 

  Shinichiro made a move to hug you but immediately realised that the dirt would be rubbed on your clothes so he just wiped the dirt off his hands on his uniform and patted your head. He searched for his pack of cigarettes inside the pockets of his uniform and when he found it he lit up one cigarette and motioned you to sit down on the chair of the cashier as he leaned on the counter. 

“We need to celebrate this.”

“No.” Shinichiro didn't turn to face you but the question on his face was evident. “I’ll be going home now to maybe write some lyrics or music.” Oh, how he loved your songs... “I still need to tell my parents about my new job.” You looked up at your boyfriend while asking him with hand gestures if he wanted to sit on the chair. 

“Stay where you are, angel.” Shinichiro smiled at you.

It felt like a lunch to the gut. It wasn't like he didn't like your parents, he did but he knew that after you telling them that you didn't want to go to university, the pressure on finding a job was getting worse.

“Izana will pass by here at 6 so you can come at 5:30 if you want. I was planning on taking you both somewhere to eat or have fun but it appears I will be working until late today so we will have to stay here.” He took a sip from his cigarette in an effort to change the subject. What you would say to your parents was not his business.

By the time you kissed Shinichiro goodbye it was around 3 pm so your parents would most probably be home. As soon as you arrived at your place, you took a deep breath and called your mother to inform her about today.  

Not going to university to pursue a career in song writing had caused a few arguements back at home. You knew that your parents only wanted the best for you but sometimes you wished they were a bit more supportive.

“You did? How much money will they be paying you?” Your mother asked you. She was in the kitchen, cooking. Your father hadn't returned yet.

  She sounded angry but you soon found out that something had happened at work. You answered all of her questions and ran back to your room after telling her that you would be going out later that evening.  

  Inspiration never came. You ended up falling asleep, too tired to do anything. This time you had set an alarm though. But apparently sleep also never came. For three and a half hours, you had been lying on the bed with your eyes closed, unable to fall asleep and relax.

  You had gotten out of bed by the time your dad returned home from work. Your mother had told him about you finding a job and despite his obvious exhaustion, his face lit up when he heard the news.

You got ready and headed towards the centre of Shibuya on foot. It was just a twenty minute walk from where you were staying but since you had your headphones and iPod, you didn’t mind. Besides, it would be the first time you would meet Izana, Shinichiro's...brother. You had no idea what the relationship between them was mostly because during your boyfriend's monologue about his younger step brother, you were half asleep.

“Hey.” You walked into Shinichiro's store and leaned against the door in a desperate attempt to catch your breath. You had been running for at least the past five minutes, thinking that you were running late.  

  Shinichiro was fixing what at first sight was his motorcycle but it turned out to be a client’s. He lifted his head and smiled, tiredness could easily be seen on his face and from his smile you understood immediately that he needed a break. If you had paid enough attention to your best friend whenever he would fix his motorcycle you would know how to help. 

“Are you in for a break?” You kneeled down next to him without your knees touching the floor. He nodded before throwing his head back, letting out a long sigh. Immediately he reached to his pocket for his cigarettes.

  Even though you protested, you ended up sitting on the small stool Shinichiro was previously sitting on, with him sitting on the floor. None of you spoke except Shinichiro who ordered food from a sushi restaurant nearby and while waiting for Izana who came not too long after you did, you enjoyed each other's presence in silence.

   Izana obviously looked nothing like Shinichiro but he and Emma had quite a few similarities. During your time alone, Shinichiro had told you that Izana was half Filipino and had been sent by his step mother to something like a boarding school during the same time Emma joined the Sano family. The boy had short white hair styled exactly like Shinichiro and his eyes were purple.

  At first Izana was a bit hesitant to actually let his guard down around you but after a while he finally started feeling more comfortable. Especially after seeing how much his role model trusted you and loved you. You were the same though during what it seemed to be the first hour or so, so you didn't blame him. 

  He was nothing like Mikey or Emma. Besides him being older than them by 3 years, he was more reserved, unwilling to show his real emotions and somewhat straightforward. Izana respected Shinichiro so much. He idolised him basically and you found that to be the sweetest thing ever.  

"Hop on." 

"You can't possibly be serious." your eyes widened when Shinichiro patted on the space in front of him.

Izana had come to the shop on foot and the facility he was staying at was too far for him to walk back at night. Like a good older brother, Shinichiro had offered to take him home with his motorcycle. At the same time though, he wanted to take you home which was the main reason that your boyfriend ended up sitting between you and Izana on the motorcycle's seat. 

"I am pretty sure this is illegal." 

"It is." Izana confirmed your suspicions. 

"No one is going to see us angel, don't worry." Shinichiro kissed your cheek.

  Needless to say that during the whole ride from the shop to Izana's house you were terrified for your life while the two boys were more or less enjoying theirs. 

"Goodnight!" Izana waved and entered the house he was living in.

  Shinichiro readjusted himself on the seat and with his right hand readjusted the way you were sitting as well by gently pushing your body towards his. 

"Did you have fun? I'm sorry next time I'll take you both somewhere else." 

"It's fine, I really liked it." 

  On the first red light you encountered on your way back Shinichiro lit up a cigarette. 

"Can you stay over?" He asked as he blew the smoke on his left so it wouldn't get on your face. 

  For once, you wanted him to sleep over at your place but then you remembered that he had to return home to take care of his siblings. Somehow the thought of your parents being present never crossed your mind. 

"You want me to stay over?" 

"Yes. I'll drive you to work in the morning, I'll come and pick you up when your shift ends so we can eat together and then we'll go back to my place and you'll sleep over again and again until you basically move in." 

"So you want me to move in?"

"Yes." He threw his cigarette on a nearby bin as you were passing past it. "I have it all planned out." 

"Oh...I'm listening." You got off the motorcycle when he parked it outside of a shrine nearby.

"Okay so we move in together and a few weeks later I propose, how does that sound?" 

"Spoiling the fact that you were planning on proposing huh..." 

  Making this stupid comment was the only way you could actually deal with the heat on your cheeks caused by what Shinichiro had said. You knew his eyes were on you as he was leaning against the wall but you weren't looking at him. 

"Just thought you should know." He chuckled as he continued. "It was Emma's idea and who am I to say no? Plus, it would be a lie to say that I had never thought about marriage these days." 

"You're weird." You giggled. Shinichiro didn't reply, he pulled you in for a hug instead before kissing the top of your head. You stayed like this for a while until you decided to break that peaceful moment.  "Here's what we'll do. You'll take me to my house for today." He pouted. "I will lie to my parents about finding a place to stay and I will move my things over to your house." His grip around your waist tightened at the sound of that as if he wanted to remind you that he was there.  

"Sounds good." He said after giving it some thought. "Can I come and pick you up tomorrow from work though?" 

"Yeah, sure." You sighed and stood up. 

  You got on the motorbike and waited for Shinichiro so you could leave since it was pretty late. A minute later he stood up, a loud groan that came from his tiredness, escaped from his lips. He stopped and looked at you with a smile on his lips, a tired one. 

  As he was about to get on the motorcycle you grabbed him by the silver chain that was hanging loosely from his neck and kissed him. His smile only widened. With great difficulty you broke off and Shinichiro drove you to your house.

"Do you have any idea of what you're doing and how you're making me feel?" He laughed when you jumped on him for a hug. 

"Maybe." You took a deep breath. "You can sleep here if you want to. But you must wake up early." 

"How early?" He scratched the back of his head. His left hand was on your lower back while his right hand was on your ass for support, your hands around his neck. 

"Like...at 6? And you will have to be quiet so they won’t wake up." 

"Double fuck." He squeezed his eyes shut and threw his head back. "It's worth it though." Shinichiro let you down. "Lead the way, angel." 

A/n: level of cringing 10000000000/10, I'm sorry anyways let's talk about how Shinichiro would definitely call his partner angel