#At least itll keep me practicing

[orcelito]

God, this is fucking crazy

So i only have 3 more classes to take, but it'll cost the same to take 3 classes as 4 classes. So I've been thinking about taking a 4th class just for the hell of it. Something fun and/or easy.

Out of curiosity, I looked up orchestras. I was in it in my first year, but I haven't consistently played since 2016. But I still dream about being in an orchestra again. I *miss it*. So I was like. Well, what if *that* was my 4th class next semester? What If?

I looked it up. This week is the last week they're doing auditions for it. There was only one more spot free after today. And that's *tomorrow evening*.

I haven't really played my violin much in YEARS. I'm so out of practice. But apparently they don't reject anyone outright. Auditions are just for placement. So worst case scenario, I get placed in an orchestra at a lower skill level than I was at my prime. It'd still be an orchestra.

It's crazy short notice, but I don't think I'd forgive myself if I passed it up. Bc I have just one more semester before I graduate. One last opportunity to be in a school orchestra. And if I didn't do this, I'd be left with that What If forever.

So. Crazy short notice, but I have a violin audition tomorrow!!! Hahahaha

[phagodyke]

this assay is so fucking fake......

[blommp717]

i guess you don’t answer anymore but i’m hoping you at least read this because it’s genuine and i feel like i have nowhere else to post this. i just want someone to hear me. ignore this if it’s too long. i want to thank you for your posts. they are the only writings that have truly resonated with me ever since i discovered the law, neville, states, being, whatever we call this thing. but i’ll be honest i’m giving up today. i discovered the ‘law of attraction’ in 2019 when i was 18 years old. it is now getting to the last quarter of 2024 and i am 23 where i’ve evolved in understanding to where i found ‘nondualism’. i went from law of attraction -> law of assumption & neville goddard -> robotic affirming -> mindset fixing & joe dispensa -> states & edward art -> nondualism. however… i have never manifested a single thing in my life. i used to be filled with anxiety when i said this. fearing these words would cause it to keep going on but i don’t even want to fear anymore. it’s just the truth. your posts taught me that i don’t have to fear my words anymore anyways. i’ve had a dream for a long time. i don’t believe i will ever reach this dream anymore. along with that dream i also just really wanted good for my family and i. you know the basics like financial freedom, happiness, mended relationships. but throughout everything i’ve learned i could never make it work and i’m just done. i guess i will return to living a normal life and just hoping i make it. i hope i find happiness or just.. anything. i’m just letting go of it all because i feel like things shouldn’t be this hard. even going to caleb’s channel and watching his recent ‘your manifestation isn’t taking long, you are’ video…. i’m just… exhausted. i just dont know how to do this and i don’t think i can take life anymore anyways. but yeah i just wanted to say thank you. even though i could never find success, you taught me who I Am. and i’ll forever be grateful for your wisdom even though you’re a bit younger than me. i hope you find continued success and live a happy life. sincerely

THIS IS JUST THE FIRST PART TO THE HUGE POST, PLEASE TAKE YOUR TIME

After what felt like months away from tumblr I really dove into self-inquiry fully, and of course still am, and I promised you guys a mega post so here’s the initial information so far. There is more to come.

IM SORRY IF THERE ARE ERRORS IN GRAMMAR OR SMTH I WROTE THIS AT MANY DIFFERENT MOMENTS THROUGHOUT THE DAY!! FEEL FREE TO ASK QUESTIONS, ETC BUT PLS DONT ASK BY RESPONDING TO THIS POST, ITLL CAUSE SO MUCH SPAM ON THE FEED AND MY ASKS PAGE

Hello! Yes I have started looking back into my inbox (THERE ALLOT OF ASKS 😭😭🫶) but I absolutely plan on answering as many as possible, and because your post resonated with how I used to feel, I want to answer yours first.

So to begin with, It makes me so happy to know that what I’ve written has some kind of affect (that being positive). I can’t remember if I told you guys how old I was but I must have cus you seem to know 😭😭, yes I’m 19 we’re very close in age, this moment in life is when allot of us who figure out this stuff lean into it more because we realize how much of a leg up we have if we just “apply” the teachings this early on.

So first what I want to say to you is, no, your not giving up on a dream and neither are you going to live a normal life, I’ll make sure of that, this beautiful world that we step into gives us so much insight on what we inherently are. But I need to remind you and everyone else, this is not some big secret that has to be practiced, it’s a look at what we are and always will be. You have purpose and you deserve to be happy and enjoy a life that’s easy and fulfilling. I apologize in advance because this is going to be a pretty long post!! 🫶🫶

Let’s get rid of the labels and titles we’ve given these understandings as if they are for someone to learn and master. No one masters manifestation, no one will ever master manifestation and I truly don’t care for how many “success stories” they have, it doesn’t hold proving value of what they are (notice how I didn’t say who), we are not who’s, but that’s for later in the post.

The reason I’ve stepped away from the concept of manifesting is because it is inherently lack and separation based. No matter the teaching, they all seem to glorify the idea of getting and achieving which puts great pressure on success stories and all that rubbish. (Not me turning British) 😝😝, okay sorry, so yeah this also goes for nondualism, I don’t associate a title with what I learn, it’s not NonDualism it’s actually just self discovery in disguise of a teaching. But for this exact reason I don’t think to myself “I need to learn NonDualism better”, nononooooo I made this mistake wayyy to much due to the sole fact that I came in with the expectation that this would now teach me the secrets of manifesting. This is kind of the set up to more desire and lack, which is actually the opposite of the self-realization “journey”.

So, when you say you have never manifested anything in your life, I say this with incredible pleasure, that this is impossible, I know I know, before you start thinking to yourself that youve heard this before but I don’t think people go that in depth as to what that even means. So, your life and your problems, are not actually problems.

Self-realization is not the journey for the person to become consciousness, but to understand that you ARE consciousness to begin with. You does no reference a someone, but “ “.

This is going to be, quite a post so PLEASE hang in there. And I just want to add in, this is still not a seperate being trying to understand that it’s connected to conciousness, no, you as conciousness, infinite knowing, are so involved with the content that you appear as, you’ve tricked yourself into thinking that you are just 1 thing of the content. Let me use my first example.

We have given ourselves the greatest interpretation and key to knowing ourself, and that’s dreaming.

Every night, we sleep, HOORRAAYYYY, now let’s get into the details because this is where the magic happens and it clicks.

Take the moment before a dream appears, recognize that when the eyes are closed there’s this presence. Not the darkness, the presence. Something, but not a thing.

Stay here and forget the rest of the world exists for a moment. Now there is only this presence, it’s knowing, it’s being right? Now there’s no actual material but regardless, it is, something. This isn’t something out of this world it’s literally, you. From this, knowing or no-thingness, comes expressions, absolutely infinite potential, this is registered as a dream, but, before the dream in any way can be experienced, there always has to be some type of interpreter/lens, this comes in the form a person or better yet, senses. Of course, there’s nothing to the senses or the person but whatever it’s formulated from, which was that presence/knowing. The activity of this infinite potential that is the knowing, (you asleep) appears, only with the help of a pov/sight.

Nonetheless, it plays out, it plays stories of absolutely anything, for no reason at all, and as it does, we get lost to it, it starts to become real, and without even realizing it, it’s no longer a dream but something we’re experiencing, now you are the character in the dream and you naturally play out the dialogue and storyline and explore the fields, magic towers, and laugh and dance and make friends, and then you wake up.

When you wake up, you recognize “oh, nothing was actually happening”, now of course, when your the person in the dream it is very real, but even then, is it? Knowing what you know, there wasn’t actually a place with dialogue, no character of its own experience or life, no actual forests or fields and magic, no one actually laughing and dancing or friends, but simply the appearance of that. The illusion.

And it’s not that it’s only a formulation of you when you realize it is, but it always is, the dream doesn’t only become an illusion or “fake” when you wake up, it’s naturally just fake, REGARDLESS of how it seems to be. And regardless we sleep every night knowing that we’ll forget it’s a dream.

So I think you can see where I’m headed with this, I’m going to use the example Rupert Spira uses but twist it a bit.

You go to sleep in Australia and dream yourself in the streets of Paris, and you take on the identity of John, you don’t actually become John and experience the streets of Paris.

Now, John drinks coffee and he feels the sunlight warm his skin, sees the greenery, feels the wind, all of it. But despite the way it all seems the sunlight, the sensations that John has, is not actually real, and neither is John. John isn’t actually feeling anything, he doesn’t exist and there is no Paris being traveled. And it’s not John that realizes/awakens to the understanding that he’s fake and this is all a dream, it’s you, asleep in Australia that realizes it as you modulate/formulate as the streets of Paris, the coffee, and the greenery, and John, understand?

The activity of that presence, if you recall when we talked about closing your eyes, formulated as something that seemed so real, and that doesn’t give any reality to the dream itself, because there is no separating the knowing from the content known. Without the “space” for it to appear or form from, how on earth would there be the content? A bigger step forward is to realize that there isn’t even an actual dream occurring but it’s all the self knowing presence of, well, knowing. I want to add something very important before moving on.

Knowing does not happen for the purpose of pleasure, we naturally deconstruct false ideas like this as we go, but something you MUST understand about the nature of existence is, none of this is appearing for the purpose of ant experience, there isn’t actually an experience. No one is enjoying nor hating the illusion, it is simply an appearance.

In the same way that the aware/presence before the dream appears from it simply is, in this way, we are. It’s like saying the TV screen plays a movie and experiences it, or does it for the purpose of experience, no that’s silly, knowing has no inherent motive, it is, you (infinite knowing) don’t “happen” for a purpose, never mind happen at all, you are, and in this do you take form of something, your self aware nature of course knows the content of your own being, but that doesn’t mean the illusion can enjoy itself, or that you enjoy or experience the illusion, it’s just a plain appearance, and that’s it.

For example, when you close your eyes on this next demonstration, truly try to grasp the essence of what I’m trying to explain.

Bring from the nothingness/knowing when you close your eyes, a blue vase, know it in every aspect you can, incorporate every sense you can (even taste if your a little freaky 🫦🫦😭) and make it as present as possible. After you open your eyes I have a question for you. (I’m serious, do the damn practice it’ll help you) please take as much time you need to truly get in there (not too long I can’t wait all day)

okay hey, your back, now answer me this, from what did this immersive appearance take reality from? You and I know that there’s no actual vase despite its presence, no matter the vibrant or dull colors, no matter the feel, rough or glossy, its taste 🫦😭, its feel, etc. So what was the substance that formulated this? If you guessed knowing, your soooooo correct, if you didn’t it’s okay you get brownie points 🫶. But yes, now I need you to understand this verrrry clearly, the vase was not real!!!! Yet it appeared that way! This is AN ILLUSION SURPIRISISIEIEIEIEIEIEISISBWHH- yes. No matter how much you want to convince yourself and go back to the vase and its appearance and its feel or colors or any aspect of it, it wasn’t ACTUALLY happening and that means it didn’t take place for anyone or anywhere!!! All there was present was knowing, from knowing forms vase and every seemingly alternate way that it is known, feeling is a form of knowing, literally every sense is just a form of knowing. Every sense that was “used” to understand the vase was all just aspects and appearances of knowing, the color, the sounds, the taste, the feels, they didn’t formulate anywhere else, but nonetheless appeared as immersive and real because YOU BECAME FOCUSED ON THE CONTENT OF THE APPEARANCE RATHER THAN RECOGNIZE THAT IT WAS JUST APPEARANCE. And even though the content of the appearance you formed as became the focus, it still didn’t change the objective fact that there wasn’t someone actually there and experiencing it in any way.

The knowing in/on which appearances formulate is not something different than the appearance, there is nothing to the illusion but its reality, and its reality is knowing. In this way, the illusion couldn’t even be described as something real or taking place, as if it could exist apart from the source of it.

Knowing this is also knowing there is no such thing as the knowing OF, we never know of things or of experiences as if they are something seperate and exist seperatley from knowing itself, that’s literally impossible. Moving forward

You are not the person/character, and it’s not that you are a limited being and you have to wake up to the idea that you are infinite knowing, you have to realize that you were never something seperate, and that this is simply the modulation of your being, and it’s not a someone it’s more of a something.

Let’s starts stabilizing this.

To all of the experiences across centuries, theres one constant amongst the billions of people who’ve lived and are now and that is, I Am. We might not know for certain about anything else ever in this entire universe, and we might not even know who or what we are but for a fact we can say, yes, I am.

There’s no true word that can describe the infinite essence of being, so we use knowing or conciousness or god, all completely the same.

So, to every experience, without an ounce of doubt, there can be the claim, I am. This is knowing, and only from knowing comes the statement, because we must know we are in order to claim that we are. I think something that can capture this is a newborn, imagine yourself to be newly born, mere seconds I mean, eyes closed. You have no understand of anything, no thoughts, no memories, no identity, your pure experience is simply being/knowing, and I don’t mean the action of knowing, that’s not a real thing. Knowing is inherent, you don’t force it.

Going back to experiences. Any experience that is recognized, any seeing, and hearing, tasting touching, and of course feeling, is assumed to be the experience of the body and this is therefore falsely established as “me”, in doing so, we forget our true nature of freedom and limit our understanding and abilities to the limitations of the body.

I’m now going to help you realize the body is an interpreter, and not of a world that’s happening somewhere in time and space, but that the world is the interpretation/modulation/illusion/dream/appearance of our shared infinite being, AFTER being recognized through the interpretations, (sensations and perceptions). This also means that it’s in no way an actual measurement to what you fully are.

What experience is there to seeing? Better yet let me narrow it down, there is nothing to seeing as if there is someone doing the seeing. Seeing simply is. There’s no one to do it, just what is. There is sight, how is there an acknowledgment of the sight/seeing? There must be something to it that gives the understanding “oh I’m seeing this”. (Hint, it’s the same thing that let you know, that “I Am”). Knowing, yes, not knowing as an action, that’s not real, people don’t know, knowing is the essence of what we are (we are not people). But just wait for that. So all there is to sight is knowing, and I don’t think I have to do this but you can say the same about absolutely every other sense, because every single “experience” absolutely requires knowing. Without knowing, “experience” never is, I think we can all acknowledge that.

There is no such thing as the experience of being a human, Why are we deciding that this is what’s it’s like to be humans, we know humans we acknowledge humans but there is no such thing as being a human, in the same way that there’s no true way that there is something to being a fox or a bird or a rock, it’s only with labels are these ideas decided.

The only thing you’ll be able to muster up is memories, emotions, etc, but that doesn’t make it the inherent experience of being a human. Our first and only experience of what we are is knowing, and then knowing that we are, that’s it. In the same way that a babies first experience is not “I am a baby” or “I am a human”, rather it’s just knowing. If being human was our nature, that’s all we’d recognize, and from the very beginning. Our experience does not actually change from being/knowing, we simply forget that there is the knowing, and decide to focus on the body to be “me” or “human”.

You don’t need senses to know you are. Knowing is something unimaginable. Go ahead and try to find it by closing your eyes or even with them open. Can you grab or touch the knowing. Can you recognize its dimensions or what its appearance is? How old or young is it?

Do me a favor and find the edge where knowing starts and stops.

Let me know when you find it because you never will.

Even when you try, it’s only conciousness itself that searches for its own parameters.

By recognizing that your truly not the body, or this person you as knowing have pretended to become, the made up problems of the person disappear, well actually, you realize that there is no person that has problems, only an idea. Only the idea that I am someone and something is happening to me, I am something seperate and need saving. There isn’t actually a seperate self, the seperate self is the activity that you as knowing are, when you become involved with the content and forget your true nature. And what’s truly the main takeaway from this is that, even when it seems like you’ve lost it and now you have to restart and understand it all over again, you as knowing haven’t gone anywhere, your the one pretending to be something lost, and not on purpose, but because you involve yourself too heavily in the appearances without recognizing where they originate from.

From what we know so far, I hope in some way you’re able to recognize that there is no one doing manifestations and having success stories. You ARE the manifestation and it will NEVER be any other way, whether we recognize it or not, that’s the beauty. So no matter if we go on about this appearance of life and say we don’t get it and move on, you as conciousness will continue to play the roles, because there is no off switch to this.

I’m hope this has been able to start untying the blinds over your “eyes” and you’re starting to somewhat understand the truth of what you/we are. This is only the beginning and it’s only going to get more incredible and beautiful from here. But for now I’m shleeepy hehehe, I’ll talk to you soon, never ever give up on your dreams!!!! 🫶❤️❤️

[vulpixisananimal]

ooough i doubt any of them would react well when everyone figures it out and confronts them on it eh? (even though itll be better for them in the long run none of them are willing to talk about anything)

(Siffrin. Loop. Mal Du Pays.)

[A:0 C:2]

(Edit from the future: the above title was added later. These early chapters were made before having any solid plans for the au, so expect lower quality.)

"Siffrin."

(You don't like the tone in Odile's voice. What did you do? Steal her favorite pen? Probably not. You turn, giving it best smile)

("If it's the pen it wasn't me, Stardust~")

"Odile."

"Are you feeling alright?"

(What's with the sudden interest? Luckily months of practice prepared you. You keep smiling. And why during snacktime too.)

"of course! I'm feeling great, could say I'm-"

(She leaned over the table, a serious face.)

(they'll hate you. They'll hate us. They'll fear us. Isn't that what all those scary stories you read said?)

("no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no")

(You want to disappear. To make it all go away. Fade away. No. No they can't tell this. It. No. No no NO NO NO)

("NO!")

"SIFFRIN!"

(You snap up. Odile was grabbing your shoulders. You didn't even flinch)

"I'm sorry. I clearly hit something sensitive."

(She did)

"You don't need to talk about it, not right now at least."

(the emphasis on 'now' made you flinch. Your family members were watching this from the side)

"But you're gonna!! And we're gonna be SO crabbing good at listening!!"

(Bonnie joined in, oh stars here came everyone now. Group hug)

("Good work, Stardust ~")

("Not exactly my work")

(you breath in, and out)

[badlydrawnbabydirk]

Robro what does the note say please tell us 🙏

[ The paper feels like it’s about to crumble in your hands. Sections of it are smudged and broken from water damage. It’s hard to decipher parts of it, (the beginning is practically all faded out), but you try your best. ]

Dirk,

[_______________________________________________________________________]eparating you guys. [__]se says its for the best though, and i trust her. something about keeping you ‘self sufficient’ whatever that means. but she did at least agree to leavin yall a lil present. hopefully mine can provide for you if [__] not around. which im startin to think is more and more like[__]. R[___]’s got a feelin that its the end of the road for us. shes never been wrong before—

—it was really only a matter of time after the stunt i pulled. [____] was on my ass for days. shit was embarrassing. for her of c[__]rse. striders dont break a sweat. anyways, i should probably start preparing for the batterwitch. with your apartment finished and all the [____] thing left to do is wait. pretty grim but i think its what ive been doin all my life. just sucks that i wont get to see fruit of it all. you.

thats what [__] present is for though. maybe my ghost can live vicariously through metal me. who is hopefully reading this letter to you right now. dont even know why i left this considering itll be years before you can understand it. i don’t even know if youll care about this note. me. whatever. but if theres one thing you get out of this yap sesh, let it be that whatever comes, whatever hap[___]s to me, will be worth it if it means youre safe. all of this was for you. remember that.

— D[___] Strider

[walnutcookie]

can i ask what cheddar's curse is :333333333 3 33333 :333 :#3333333333333333333333333333 :3:#3333

HI I AM SO GLAD YOU ASKEDDD. :33 THANK U SO MUCH FOR THIS ASK /GEN. you have unleashed hell i am about to write so many paragraphs /silly /pos

ok to rb!

I need to draw a picture of them without the shadow sometime but. basically that glint in the shadow over cheddars face?

thats not their eye. they dont have an eye there anymore. instead it is a jewel :]c a cheddarstone to be exact. And it is very cursed!

still need to figure out exactly how it goes but when the blue cheese manor burned down they reached for the cursed jewel that their family had and They survived! They technically cannot die! but living isnt exactly easy

inside of them is a ton of Dark almost ink-like goop,, its like. Anti-life force. It seeps through their skin slowly and if it seeps out too much cheddar has to fight for control. if it gets really bad they lose control entirely. the only way to keep it from seeping out is by absorbing pure life force. they can obtain it through being around someone as they die, but more effectively they can kill people themself. Which is pretty easy since!! touching anti-life force kills a person IMMEDIATELY literally all cheddar needs to do is touch someone and theyre dead.

of course, if people knew that she was doing this, theyd be arrested immediately so theyve found ways to be sneaky about it :]c

for one, they cover themself up as best as possible. Literally from the head down its completely covered - giant coat, gloves, boots, etc. plus the hat covers not only the jewel in their eye but the anti-life force goop growing on his face!!! They avoid being in crowds or tightly packed spaces and theyre careful not to ever touch someone - while the clothing helps, it doesnt completely negate the curse, so while a brush of the shoulder may not kill the person itll at least drain them which will look suspicious.

obviously this quote wasnt related but shh its about Universe A. to me

cheddar has basically made themself untouchable (both metaphorically and literally).

say, theoretically, they need to take another victim. theyre travelling with macaroni on oh, say, a train, and they find a random cookie isolated in a train car with nobody around to witness anything. they peel off their glove and put their hand on the victims mouth, muffling their scream and killing the person instantly, and then they gently lower the body down so it doesnt make a noise as it hits the floor. next they use a knife to stab the person a few times - theyre already dead, but since touching them wouldnt give any indicators toward the cause of death, they have the perfect opportunity to create a false story behind the murder of this cookie and frame someone else for it. all they need to do after that is call macaroni to come see and he'll practically do the work for them!!!

ive mentioned this on one of my posts before but i headcanon that macaroni. cannot. stand. mysteries. he has to have them solved ASAP otherwise he CANNOT rest easy. he wont be able to eat or sleep very well at all. it makes him so anxious as much as he loves mysteries

Cheddar uses this to their advantage! theyve created a person in macaroni's head - someone whos lazy, who doesnt put much effort into their work, someone who doesnt rely on real evidence very much. How would someone like cheddar manage to frame someone else for a murder theyve committed and get away with it? especially since cheddar is around macaroni 24/7 and hed never expect them to do something in like the five minutes that they sneak away. not to mention cheddar has been working for the cbi even longer than mac and why on earth would a cbi agent kill someone for (seemingly) no reason??? In reality cheddar is actually much smarter and observant than they make themself seem but mac is in HEAVY denial about it because he doesnt want to have to think about his work partner being a murderer. Better to come up with other solutions (which cheddar so generously offers to him by framing people) than to point the finger at cheddar and raise dozens more questions that may be left unanswered. Plus the thought that all of the deaths cheddar caused would technically partially be macs fault. And as much as cheddar annoys him, mac has grown pretty attached to them.

someone could literally yell at mac and say LOOK!!! CHEDDAR HAS BLOOD STAINS ON THEIR COAT OH MY GOD!!!!!!! and mac will just laugh and say Haha that must be from lunch yesterday :) LIKE. cheddar has just made the perfect alibi for themself. they can never be accused of any crime because mac will defend them no matter what just to keep his own sanity

all of the killing and murder and crime aside cheddar is. Fucking miserable. shes so insanely touch starved bro they havent had a hug since like 1806 (except for like one person CCOUXGGHT COUCGHE GOUCGH ROUCYEO CAPPUCCINO COUGH COUCGH SPUTTER COUGH thats another post entirely though if anyone sends an ask abt it ill talk about it) and they try to make themself seem unlikable towards macaroni and try to distance themself from people and avoid relationships because even just a high five or a brush of the shoulder could be fatal. its too much of a risk, and its not one theyre willing to take.

he is fucking Smitten for macaroni theyre so head over heels for that girl but they just! CANT!!!! they cant get close to him because then he might DIE and not only would they lose the person they love but that would mean that their precious alibi is gone and theyd have to be extra extra sneaky about things to make sure that nobody catches them committing crimes. not to mention because of the way they act macaroni fucking HATES HIM. one sided yuri my beloved

anyways yaay ill stop there before this post gets too long X] theres more stuff about these two (including actual yuriful fluff NO WAAY) if youre curuois or have any other questions just shoot me an ask id love to answer!!!!

as always i dont think this is canon by any means it is all just my silly headcanon au because i think cheddar should be fucked up As a treat👍have a nice day If you read all of this i loveyiu so much /p

[gerardwolfe]

Soo today itll be like ~ 1000 days since i started learning Hebrew on Duolingo. And around 150 days since i got a proper Hebrew learning book.

If anyone (like me for a looong time) is still stuck using Duolingo and feeling like theyre not really improving, well same. I feel like the only really good excersises are the listening ones, and im super frustrated when it doesnt explain the rules of the language but just expects me to memorise every previous sentence and extrapolate from that…

Ive learned so so so so so much more with the actual book istead of just doing a useless duolingo lesson everyday where i remembered absolutely none of the words i should have learned in the lesson. It really is worth it to get a real proper book/course for learning. (At least it was for me, as ive actually been able to start understanding some(!) of the Hebrew i encounter om social media and the like)

A problem with the book however is that i get zero listening experience and dont really improve in the speaking / listening parts of learning a language. Do anyone know some good ressources? (I cannot afford a tutor or something like that, free or onetime purchase would be <3)

Ill probably still keep on using duolingo for the listening exercises + practice but i really want to supplement the book better.

Im unfortunately still at a fairly low level of speaking/understanding Hebrew so the vocabulary needs to be fairly low level/simple.

Thanks!

[the-real-team-galactic]

yanno while i'm here getting back in2 it... i might as well hand over another...

✨Monthly Galactic Horoscope!!!✨

it's lampent season AND spooky season babes~!!!!! we may be halfway thru with tha eclipse behind us, but that aint gonna stop me from predetermining ur futures bitchezzz!!!! >:D the movement of Jupiter and Pluto brings lots of change so pack in for the rest of the month!!

♈️ Whimsicott: moodiness is coming ur way this month so dont expect to be all niceys :/ but thats NOT always a bad thing!!! your emotions are gonna b SUPER intense liek more than usual :O so!!! be sure to take care of urself an step away from big things if u wanna keep things chill!!! :3

♉️ Bouffalant: get ready 2 face ur problems head on this month!!! dont be afraid to talk abt your feelings and verbalize your needs n shit!!!!! dont let ur chance pass by while you have the strength to feel >:0 take action already and just let yourself feel things!!!! dont forget to talk it out babes~!!!

♊️ Klink: yall are getting a HUGE amount of benefits from the lampies this month~☆ lots of energy is coming ur way so expect tons of excitement in new relationships!!!! :> you're gonna get some extra boosts in work stuff too, but be sure to take full advantage of all ur excitement and get SILLY WITH IT!!!! yahoo :D

♋️ Crustle: tons of energy coming ur way yall!!!! :3 get ready for meaningful conversations with tha people who matter while Mars is moving thru ur sign!!! also BURNOUT BEWARE IT'S COMING WAGH >w< !!!!!! if u need to take some time to cool off then go for it!!!! no shade here if u need 2 rest !!! ^ ^

♌️ Braviary: theres lots n lots of alone or with family/friends time in ur future this month!!! :] it might not be as fun but it's ok to take some time off when you need it :) !!!!! theres lots of fun stuff in being alone, and u can always lean on family if u need 2!!!! but if they suck ignore that lol :P

♍️ Gothorita: practicality is tha key 4 u this month so keep ur head on!!!!! keep an eye on ur finances and get ready to jump on new opportunities :D dont forget 2 manage ur relationships too!!!!! let yourself be intimate once in a while babes its good for u >v• get fucking WHIMSICAL~!!!!

♎️ Lampent: ITS UR SPOOKY TIME OF YEAR YALL!!!!! ^v^ doors are closing, but that doesn't mean there's nothing left open so dw!! Venus is moving thru your sign so romance might be in ur future :0 even if that's not what ur into be sure to take advantage of the energy to brace urself for all tha changing!!!!! :3

♏️ Scolipede: shit's getting TENSE for yall :P so get ready!!!! dont be surprised if ur a liiitle more overwhelmed than usual BUT ITS OK TRUST!!!! ur gonna be able to express ur feelings a lil better thanks to this ;) dont bottle that shit up u gotta let urself VIBE!!! go have fun and let yourself live!!!! <3

♐️ Fraxure: finally time for things to get COMPREHENSIBLE YAYAYA :D !!!! ur gonna be more in tune with ur inner self and like your feelings and social standing n stuff :0 so talk to your friends!!!! maybe a lil drama gonna happen but itll be ok dw yall nothing 2 worry about!!!

♑️ Sawsbuck: ambition is the name of the game for u this month so embrace it!!!!! work is gonna see TONS and tons of big changes so brace yourself for it!!!!! get ready for some more opportunities coming ur way :3 its scary but you got this trust i believe in yall!!!! <3

♒️ Simipour: tons of inspiration for u this month!!!!! :) with all the planets movin around that'll give you a ton of free inspo hell yea!!! expect to get tons of work done and feel good about all these new ideas filling ur head :o trust the process and work real hard~!!!

♓ Alomomola: last but not least, its time 2 look inward and understand who u really are gang!!!! :3 trust ur emotions too because theyre gonna help guide you in whatever it is ur up to :D youll find what u really REALLY want if u search deep down so keep going!!!! u got this~☆ !!!

[jackienautism]

please share your self indulgent aus 👀

fdjgdjgkg 🥺🥺🥺 to be honest w/ you i dont really have too many in my arsenal... as many as id thought id have i mean. but ill go through the ones i have now / remember from past interests! most of them aren't necessarily self indulgent just as a heads up... some are more practical than others though

//

the quarry / until dawn:

this is just at the forefront of my mind (since i tried making stuff for it today, it didnt work very well) but i wanna assign the TQ / UD girls / characters dog breeds..... i do have solid ideas / thoughts for the girls specifically but i think i waanna save it for it's own post / keep it a surprise

do not hurt me but ever since last summer i thought it would be sooooo cool to put a like. danganronpa spin on TQ / UD dkndkg LIKE LIKE.... itd have the danganronpa mechanics and stuff but not necessarily the killing game premise you know? itd make more sense if i like explained my ideas and such but i also think i wanna save it for later.... but know i have a shit ton of thoughts on what i wanna do and stuff dgkdg i WILL say however, protag!laura and protag!sam respectively

i wanna make this like... immediate swap of the UD characters w/ TQ charas ... like. emily woould swap w/ kaitlyn, jess w/ emma, sam w/ laura, ashley w/ abi etc etc. so instead of kaitlyn and dylan at the scrapyard, it'd be emily and matt at the scrapyard ya feel me? the same events that happened in TQ will happen but theyre just. w/ the UD characters instead

and speaking of... ive posted / talked abt this briefly but i have SOOOO many ideas for a UD / TQ situation swap AU... meaning the UD guys are in a TQ environment... and oh man do i have a ton of imo HELLA COOL AND EPIC ideas for it... i just gotta flesh things out more thoroughly and come up w/ "chapters" i suppose. ive got giant general ideas and some already solidified scenes but. thats kind of it. im super excited to work more on it though. it is my Child

this one is DEF on the sillier more self indulgent sidde but since i love drawing characters i love in diff styles of games i like... i wanted to draw the TQ / UD charas in the fire emblem style... which then lead me to. what if ijjust assign them classes and shit? i don't know which game id necessarily base the AU off of but. at the very least id just assign them fire emblem classes and create designs for them and stuff. that's always fun

speaking of games w/ sprites, this isnt reallly an AU but i reaaaally wanted to draw like sprites for the TQ / UD charas and rewrite / recreate scenes as if the game were a visual novel... so theres that

and this one isnt an au and i maaaaay have mentioned this before on this blog i cant remember BUT ANYWAYi had this dream a year ago w/ the UD charas and it just. yeah it spiraled dfgjnfdjg it began as this very warped AU of until dawn but as i began developing it more, the more realized that it just... it wasnt worth calling it an AU? like. ive been putting too much work and EXTRA extra stuff ve4ry much outside of UD for it to be considered an AU... sooooo i took them and made them my own characters and made it my own original story LOL its been almost a year and a half since i began development but its still faaar from being finished. i have a BUNCH of ideas and shit, but i def still wanna like. organize things a bit more before bouncing shit off of others. but yeah. i stole the UD girls and made them mine

TQ / UD GIRLS IN THE MEAN GIRLS MUSICAAAAAAL... i've only thought abt which roles the girls would fit since i rlyonly care about them buuuut maybe itll become more fully fledged as time goes on (it probably wont) but atm ive assigned both TQ / UD girls as mean girls musical characters :]

UD GIRLS PERSONALITY SWAP!!!

UD / TQ FUSIONS!!!!

//

other:

i was REAAAAALLLY into life is strange in the fall of 2021... hold on post on hold i can't believe its coming up to 2 years since i first watched my friend stream it. fuuuuuuuck. anyway. i had this life is strange in the fire emblem three houses universe AU gdgjnf like. the LIS charas were in FE3H and were in the diff houses and stuff. i didnt have too much of it fleshed out but i had this idea for rachel and max with rachel basically taking the role of sothis and oiiuggh i still love the idea so much

also had a danganronpa in a fire emblem three houses universe and vice versa... and for these i had more ideas for the DR in the FE3H universe AU for some reason. i think coming up w/ classes and backstory was easier for me idk. i remember having this whole thing written out.... i actually have a whole doc if anyonne is interested.... its real old and bad though so i probably wont share it publicly but 🤷 we'll see. came up w/ most of the ultimates / talents for the FE3H guys... didnt come up w/ much more than that however. i think coming up w/ whos gonna kill who + motives + murder details was too much for me to handle. hence why i dont have tooooo much w/ this AU. i really do want to go back to these one day though

also had a persona 5 in a DR universe AU sort of. despite my very limited knowledge on P5. i only really thought about ann and shiho's role in the AU and let me just tell you it does not end well for either of them ]: but the idea i have is so GOOOOOOD

this isnt an established AU or anything but i had this idea to like. randomly select 2 of my fandoms and attempt to make an AU out of it. i think that'd be fun

RESIDENT EVIL SWAAAAP AUUUUUU GOSH I HAVE SO MANY IDEAS AND YET NONE AT ALL. I WANNA WORK ON IT SOOOO BAD I LOVE IT SO MUCH

AU where claire teams up w/ ada instead in resident evil 2. i had this whole day dream sequence for it. hopefully i still remember it i rly need to get it down. i deeply care for them both. my ideas rock

//

i think that's everything? for as much as i love resident evil im kind of shocked there arent more. esp since ive had the fixation for like a year and a half now. maybe there will be more to come who knows. ill def add more if im reminded of some / more come to me later on

[sleeveace22]

i just watched the strange aeons video on tumblr live and it kind of makes me *want* to yse tumblr live for practice session live streams or music work. The idea of having a small gathering of witnesses to whatever im doing feels strangely encouraging? or at least itll put my feet to the fire on keeping progress. Im interested for sure but also the slack tumblr live has gotten and semi-deserves still gives me the Ick- despite privacy issues being debunked and said video i watched also showing most streamers arent tiktok copy paste titty streamers. the vibe is still tumblr-esque and i fucking LOVE the candidness of tumblr, it might be fun to present what im doing live since im so bad at putting projects together lol

[xxxg0ryygurlll13xxx]

i feel kinda bad abt taking my mental health/work day

like yea i get an insane amount of school work but theres ppl i go to school w who have practice, and rehersal and get it done. am i seriously this mentally weak and unstable?? that i get so stressed out and anxious over school i have to take a day to do it cause i cant do my work at school? really???? like i feel idk idk how i feel. i dont think guilty is the right word? but neither is weak? idk. but its bad. theres just so much going on in my family life too that im worried about and i keep trying to tell myself that this is ok and needed and i just have to get the work done but its so hard to not worry and get overanxious to the point i cant go to school. mental health is such a tricky thing and i know its important but i feel so bad when i take care of it. i will say i put on my insta note "needing to stay home from school to do schoolwork is crazy" and like 5 ppl from school have responded saying they do the same thing all the time cause its so necessary. that makes me feel less bad abt taking today off, well not really off im gonna spend my whole day working even tho thats what i did yesterday too after my PSAT and barely made a dent in my planner. its just its so much. so so so so much and i feel bad that other ppl can handle it but i cant. ik ppls brains are built different but how come i struggle so much in school and w school work and others just pass w As and dont even bat an eye???? ig stupid is how it makes me feel. guilty, weak, and stupid. its only october and i feel like im on a sinking ship, i have school to worry abt, loved ones in florida to worry abt, my mas health to worry abt, my health to worry abt, keeping the house at least kinda clean to worry abt, plans to worry abt, social things to worry abt, so much to worry abt. also slightly unrelated but i have a dr appt to go to on saturday and get to skip out on helping w open house at my school and trying to explain to my friend why no she wouldnt rather spend her saturday talking w her mothers spinal surgeon about how she could be paralyzed for the rest of her life, or how her back conditions could kill her. id rather work open house but she insisted i was "lucky" to miss out. i just feel so overwhelmed already. its only october and my mental health is already at such an edge that i cant go to school. ik that going where i go will be good in the long run and the adults around me are constantly telling me that but idk if its worth it since who knows if ill even make it to the long run. they keep insisting that too. ignoring my mental health concerns and just saying that i go to such a good school and my diploma will help me much more than if i went to public school. which is all tru but it shouldnt be at the cost of my mental, and physical health. they say itll make college easier but if this is supposed to prep me for college idk if i can make it another 4 years of this.

im not happy anymore. not long term anyways like sure hoco was fun and i was happy, i was happy getting ready and dancing but as soon as it ended i wasnt happy anymore. i was back to my now usual empty kind of sadness. i watch shows, play games, and make art that usually makes me happy and it doesnt anymore. i stopped drawing for pleasure, only watch shows and yt series to get it over with and havent touched any games in a long time. nothings fun anymore. everyone is so happy, going to parties, hanging out, having fun but here i am practically drowning trying to even crack a smile. ive started just doing the bare minimum for myself to survive. school, sleep, eating, showers basic things. ive abandoned most of my hobbies and ik thats not good for me but i just cant bring myself to do them. i wanna be happy and i dont want ppl ik to worry so i just kinda fake it hoping no one will notice and maybe i can make other ppl happy. im lonely, sad, anxious, guilty, depressed. i should be excited abt things but everything feels like an obligation now. im just trying to go abt life trying not to die and thats pretty much it.

[corens-relisten]

MAG 72 Takeaway

Statement of Craig Goodall, regarding his explorations of an abandoned chicken and kebab shop in Walthamstow. Original statement given 20th October 2009.

YAAA BARISA !!! omg ok its maxwell rainer theyre arresting him!! and jon thinks itll get Dark, rainer is from the peoples church of the devine host :p

oop lmao he immediately comes out strong- "so im probably a cannibal-"

PFFF HES SO REAL FOR THAT- "i feel like... if ive been tricked into eating a person, i might at least have learnt what a human being tastes like :p" oh huh he keeps being more and more real TwT meat is meat huh?

he hears smth in the building and goes in!!... i wish lol. its practically letting him in but no he just calls the cops and gets a pint

but the next day he goes in :3 and its all weirdly clean :0 he looks around and sees what the kid was graffiti-ing, which was just "meat is meat"

but he didnt get to finish

MEAT IS ME

AAAH WHAT THE FUCK HE JUST GETS HIS ACHILLES TENDON SNIP SNAPPED

he wakes up somewhere and there's a bunch of fingers in front of him :p

PFFF HE DIDNT WANT TO BE LOWKEY RASICT- anyway so bubye 3 fingers-

that is interesting though, that chistians were accused of being cannibals

YAAA LEROY TO THE RESCUE !! THIS IS WHY YOU TALK TO PEOPLE BEFORE LEAVING PEOPLE

so hes miraculously healed? interesting. and he got to leave and move after (:

spoilers !!

this is the Flesh, of course <3

is this ton han's son or smth? ohhh no its his uncle :0 neat its a family business of meat

spoilers overr

supplemental:

WOO NO TUNNELS TY JON TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF

aww he cares about basira <3

anyway thats done so have a beautiful day!

[vitamindmemories]

yea maybe ill just write little stories here too right now cause at least i dont have to look at the screen much then cause my eyes hurt but maybe itll give me somethin cool to look back at and read later when i read it

i was reading a post where ppl listed soft stories of ppls softness :

hah ive been texting pop little funny things that happen at work cause i like to make jomes to my custoes or coworkers so he always asks me did u make any good jokes today lol so i tell him these then he says so did they laugh lols?!! XD

some of these wont be the coolest stories but just tiny details and stuff i thought i wanted to write down?

my hairs been gettin different these last few years it used to be so big i didnt know what to do w it lol but bow its like flat ? But shiny at least ! Idk if its cause i wash it kess but even when i shampoo teo days in a row it looks like that still so maybe ill see what happens if i shampoo even more times lols vause like a fee years ago it had nice character heh.

its funny theres just a couple ppl who work in the back w me at work and a frw ppl cycle through and some dont speak eng but wanna learn so in the mirning they ask dif words and phrases in eng to practice then in afternoon one of their coworkers always wants to talk to em but only tries in eng lool and then the spanish ones practice their new greetings on this coworker xD and the coworker keeps tryina bond and tell em jokess in eng but even i cant translate them or know the word for joke even lool so we’re goin round and round tryinn dif things to connect and learn lmao but no one really understands each other lol xD so we just go round and round like 😅*tries to tell joke💁🏻‍♀️*miming violently trying to explain it* all of us again 😅👀🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️..##good chat guyss xD🤷🏻‍♀️😅😅

[scrimblydiddledoo]

hello! this is a quick intro post for my tumblr! it hasn’t been announced on my TikTok yet because i wanna wait until all my personal bizz is over with to connect the accts, which will hopefully be soon! 😅

(very long post so its going under a cut!)

in the meantime, hello! i’m Scrimbly, any alternative of that name is chill to use for me, i use he/they pronouns interchangeably or exclusively- either is good 👍

my account focuses on FNAF stuff- particularly FNAF Security Breach and more specifically the Daycare Attendant <3

you can find funny vids and drawings on my TikTok, and on here i’m gonna focus on posting full artworks so that anyone who wants to can see them in a more direct way than me recording them on my phone in a >30 sec vid

(i dont have anything posted yet bc i dont have wifi and therefore no way to get files from my pc to my phone, which will hopefully be resolved soon 🤞)

im hoping itll be easier to post updates and such here since it’s less algorithm based than TikTok and other social medias- plus its the only social media i’m really comfortable with- since i’ve been using it for the past 5 years or so

ALSO: i have an AU fic in the works! (slightly hiatus rn bc i dont have internet on my pc or laptop, which i need to use google docs 🥲) It’s called The Eternal Night, i havent revealed pretty much anything about it yet, because i want it to be practically spoiler-less until i start posting it, so that suspense can build as the chapters are released 👀

the reason it’s taking me so long to post the fic is bc i want to be pretty much finished with at least the first arc before i post it so that i don’t lose motivation 😅 i have a problem with losing motivation for a project after i start to show it to people, so pushing myself to finish it before posting anything is helping me work on it!

sorry for the dump of info, i’ll redo this post eventually and have everything more organized and such, probably when i can do it on desktop, regardless- thanks for reading this far! i’m super excited to keep posting and making more content in the future!

Edit: ofc i forgot until i posted it- but my inbox should be open, feel free to send some asks! i don’t bite lol :)

[hellfire--hearts]

Anyway id always kinda gone through life vaguely assuming people around me realized im "weird" but ive started realizing that I broadcast my autisticness about five times as much as literally everyone ive ever known. And I just didnt know everyone could immediately tell I was autistic as soon as they looked at me. And ofc 90% of the population thinks "r*****ds" should be treated as second class animals if not outright executed. Like no fucking wonder most of the ppl that "befriended" me were just doing it to hurt me. I really do just... broadcast it. so heavily. and I will probably never be "good at" making friends. or keeping them. or socializing. itll always be hard, and itll always hurt, and itll always take everything I have to not hurt my friends, and ill keep letting ppl that dont listen to me close

And I really thought things would eventually get better. No, ill eventually overcome my insecurities. I'll never stop practically announcing to everyone that sees me that im socially and intellectually disabled (not to mention physically)

I was right all along, im really not enough and I never will be enough. and me and my friends.will just forever have to deal with me not being enough. At least as long as I still have any

[jackalopedoodles]

Roxanne, Roxannnnnnne~

Please ignore the grease stain, I was eating fries and watching some videos and got jumpscared.

Thoughts and minor spoilers down below!

I fucking love this one and honestly Roxanne is such an endearing character to me for no reason. The self affirmations in the beginning, her being the new Foxy, the only animatronic that actively threatens Gregory? All perfect. 

The mixed version of her is so much fun and I think it’s the one that honestly ended up staying truest to the actual animatronic Roxanne as possible. With the shoulder pads, the hair being pulled back save the green strip and of course the panelling she looks pretty similar, which is the point. Both her arm and leg warmers came out so well, I loved doing them so much too cause it was just a nice little task. Not to mention I HAD to do her little rock on pose from the intro sequence. She’s just such an adorable rock star. I wish I gave her tail maybe a bit more texture especially considering how it looks in the game, but this will do. 

Full wolf ended up looking really pretty. I think it might e the slightly surprised look on her face, or how her hair falls. Just something so pleasing about it. I really feel like she has doubts about herself, either because she’s replacing one of the main four characters or because she’s just an anxious girl, and I just very much think this is the face she’d make when a six year old girl goes running up to her, excited and grinning, telling her shes so pretty and she wants hair just like hers. She just needs a bit of love is all. 

Full human was honestly really fun and I definitely think I broke out of her mold a bit. I was kind of trying to figure out what could be the key thing I can take away to give her less of that “I am copy and pasted for merch designs” look, some little change to make her more human, and it might sound weird to say but like Chica, messing with her hair seemed to do the trick. I’d like to think she’s over the punk rock phase but because she works here she can’t actually drop it, so living in an aesthetic she dislikes only worsens her self image. Letting her finally tie her hair back or take off her makeup or something small like that would do wonders into letting her realize her s elf image is what she creates it to be. 

Chibi wolf definitely isn’t my favorite chibi I’ve done but I  don’t think it’s bad. The cheek is probably more off place here than on the others, and I think if I were to do more with the chibi character I’d probably redraw her a few more times to find something I think suited her more. The rounded and cartoony fangs though in this one make it for me, add in her fun hair strip and it looks really nice. 

Chibi human is probably my favorite out of these, but only barely. I just like her big eyes and determined look, I’d like to think this is what she does in the mirror before shows to try and get herself jazzed up, or maybe what she looked like in the mirror when Gregory passed her in the vents. Just repeating affirmations to herself. Her tiny hands are just really the best here too. And somehow it’s the only other one where I actually included those damn shoulder pads.

As always if you want to see some more smaller notes just check the drawing itself, and if you’d like a photo ID comment or DM me! This wraps up the main four drawing and there’s no guarantee I’ll move on to do anybody else. Though I will say, the Sun and Moon twins are kind of enticing. Maybe I’ll finally draw a character for this damn franchise.