#Asthma and hay fever

[defectivegembrain]

Goddamn fucking pollen curse

[chronicallyuniconic]

idk there's something my body really despises about the temperature going from 9°C to 20°C in 48hrs, I feel sick, tired, thoughts are something like "what am I thinking about, I can't think of anything, you're just staring off again, say something, do something, what do I want to do, my head still hurts, my body hurts, I'm tired" it's all I got.

The warmth is one side, the humidity, uv level, barometric pressure levels, the I-can't-breathe because it's worsening my asthma levels. I overheat really quickly & doing so much as a coughing fit in this weather will sweat my back out.

i don't wanna pass out, or have a seizure, or a headache, or glass-in-my-eyes pain because of the light level.

i used to go to the beach on days like today

& now i do everything to avoid the Sun☀

i really do grieve for the old me

[us-the-voices-and-more-voices-2]

read tags

[blatterpussbunnyfromhell]

Oh, I love waking up to find that I'm having an asthma attack and an allergy flare-up in my throat. Just took my meds but it seems I'm going to be breathing like a harmonica for a little while longer

[twstfanblog]

World Building: Medical Headcanons - NRC

A/N: These are all headcanon and not meant to be taken as fact.

Heartslabyul

Riddle

Allergic to Soy.

Underweight and poor muscle development due to lack of nutrition in childhood.

Obsessive Compulsion Disorder.

Trey

Cater

Eczema.

Borderline obsessive fixation on teeth.

Formed aversion to sugar.

No real negative effects, but gains a stomach ache if sugar is consumed.

Inability to maintain close relationships.

Ace

Claims to have a peanut allergy (simply dislikes them).

Magical Hay Fever in Winters.

Deuce

Mildly lactose intolerant. Does not register drinking milk shouldn't hurt his stomach.

Allergic to kiwis. Does not register eating kiwis shouldn't make his mouth tingle.

Savanaclaw

Leona

Clinically depressed, situational depression, and unmedicated.

Mild malnutrition due to poor diet.

Past injury on eye is slowly worsening. Will go blind at some point.

Ruggie

Underweight and poor muscle development due to lack of nutrition.

Food aggression with strangers.

Needs glasses.

Jack

Intermittent asthma. Has two emergency inhalers.

Octavinelle

Azul

Rare side effect of the transformation potion; his pupils fluctuate between their natural state and 'human' pupils. Glasses help.

Prone to motion sickness.

Anorexia nervosa.

Jade

Light sensitivity.

Prone to motion sickness.

High-functioning Autism.

Floyd

(Apparently) Allergic to honey. (Only learned of this when coming to land.)

ADHD

BPD

Pica (Favors ice and chalk)

Scarabia

Kalim

Unmedicated ADHD. (Proper medication was deemed too dangerous by Asim home doctors)

C-PTSD

Jamil

High-functioning Autism. (Masks to the point no one can recognize symptoms anymore)

C-PTSD

Pomfiore

Vil

IBS

(Mental anguish and Imposter Syndrome that leads to his psychotic break)

Rook

No formal diagnoses but something is clearly wrong with him...

(Voyeurist Disorder)

Epel

Anger Issues

Internalized Misogyny

Ignihyde

Idia

Avoidant personality disorder

Social anxiety disorder

Agoraphobia

Poor blood circulation

Ortho

Psychopathic tendencies

(Died Once)

Diasomnia

Malleus

High functioning autism

Narcissistic tendencies

Lilia

C-PTSD

Refined sugar intolerance

Silver

Narcolepsy (Undiagnosed since I don't think Narcolepsy is a thing in Twist).

Sebek

Narcissistic tendencies

Eczema

Everyone

Sociopathic and Psychopathic tendencies

[literaryvein-reblogs]

Some Allergy Vocabulary

for your next poem/story

Allergic crease - A crease or pale line that develops across the lower part of the nose because of frequent upward wiping of the nose.

Angioedema - (or edema) Swelling

Dander - Material that is shed from the body of humans and animals that have fur, hair, or feathers.

Dust mite - A small mite invisible to the naked eye. Dust mites are widely distributed in homes and dust mite allergy is a major cause of asthma and allergic rhinitis (hay fever).

Elemental diet - A diet of predigested liquid containing amino acids, vitamins, minerals, electrolytes, and glucose.

Eosinophils - Cells that circulate in the blood. They attack tissues at the site of an allergic reaction causing damage.

Erythema - Reddening of the skin.

Macrophages - Scavengers whose job is to engulf or eat up infecting germs and even infected cells. Macrophages also help to overcome infection by secreting signals that help activate other cell types to fight against infections.

Monocytes - Cells that circulate in the blood and become macrophages in the tissues. These cells are very important in alerting the immune system about an infection.

Neutropenia - A condition that results when the body does not have enough neutrophils, an important white blood cell that fights infections. The lower your neutrophil count, the more vulnerable you are to infectious diseases.

Pollen count - (or a mold count) Is based on the measurement of the number of grains of pollen or mold spores in a cubic meter of the air. The higher the count, the greater the chance that people suffering from hay fever will experience symptoms when they are outdoors or exposed to outdoor air.

Pruritus - Itching

Urticaria - The medical word for hives, which are itchy, raised lumps that can vary in position from hour to hour or day to day.

Wheal - A raised whitish itchy lump, which occurs after skin prick test or after contact with an allergen and is a term also used to describe the individual lump seen in hives.

Wheeze - A whistling sound that can occur in the breathing tubes or airways. It is important to make your doctor aware of wheezing that reoccurs. Wheezing is often a symptom of asthma or COPD, but it may be related to temporary respiratory conditions such as pneumonia or bronchitis.

Sources: 1 2 3 ⚜ More: Word Lists

[bookhobbit]

I have been given a steroid spray for postnasal drip and an instruction to come back to see the doctor in a month to taper off it. She does not know what is causing the postnasal drip because apparently this just happens. She said that it is pretty common for hay fever to just suddenly happen one year when you've been fine other years and also that pollen has been high this year even in the winter (ough, climate change). This is apparently more likely to happen if you have asthma, which of course I do.

The good thing is, she was like "I think the sudden increase in asthma symptoms is caused by the drainage" and I was like thank fuck a doctor sees this because I have been convinced that was the case all along because my asthma always gets worse anytime I have a cold. The other doctors have just been like "Are you bringing up any phlegm? No? Okay well here's another asthma inhaler, have a great day" and more or less ignored the nasal symptoms entirely. Possibly typing it all out helped clarify the situation better than I tend to be able to through speaking.

[mariacallous]

This story originally appeared on Vox and is part of the Climate Desk collaboration.

The warming spring air is a welcome relief from the bitterly cold winter across much of the US, but millions of seasonal allergy sufferers are getting buried under a pollen tsunami, with sneezing, headaches, watery eyes, and stuffed sinuses sending them right back indoors.

Already, Atlanta has broken its pollen count record, with 14,801 grains per cubic meter spewing from pine, oak, and birch trees. Houston also reported its highest pollen counts since 2013, when records began.

The Asthma and Allergy Foundation of America (AAFA) projects that 2025 will be yet another brutal year for seasonal allergies across the country, with the worst-afflicted cities in the southern US. Your red eyes and runny noses don’t deceive you—seasonal allergies are getting worse, a miserable reality for nearly one in three US adults and one in four children.

Why? Sneezing and sniffles are some of the sirens of climate change. In fact, because of warming, pollen is now a nearly year-round menace in some parts of the US. Pollen, the main seasonal allergy trigger, is emerging earlier in the year, in higher concentrations, and lasting longer year after year. “In the springtime, the first pollen allergens are from trees, and that is starting 20 days earlier than it did 30 years ago,” said Kenneth Mendez, CEO of AAFA. Rising concentrations of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere are directly inducing plants to produce more pollen while extending the temperature conditions that trigger pollen production in plants.

“We hear all the time, ‘I’ve never had allergies before, and now I suddenly feel like I have allergies,’ or ‘I feel like my allergies are getting a lot worse,’ and that’s because the allergic load is that much higher because of climate change,” Mendez said.

For most people, seasonal allergies are an unpleasant nuisance. But with millions feeling blergh at the same time, it adds up to a huge economic burden in lost productivity. Asthma, allergic rhinitis—the condition you probably know of as hay fever—and related allergy conditions cost the economy billions of dollars each year in lost work days, medications, and doctor’s visits.

There are also people for whom pollen is a more serious problem and can lead to dangerous complications or exacerbate other health issues. One study found that tree pollen allergies lead to 25,000 to 50,000 emergency room visits per year, two-thirds from people under the age of 18.

Over time, as pollen counts increase, more people with a higher sensitivity threshold are finding out the hard way that these tiny grains are a hazard. Other people are also finding out that doors and windows can’t protect them, as some of the tiniest pollen grains seep in.

“If the trend lines continue, I think more people are going to feel miserable from allergies,” Mendez said.

How We Keep Making Allergies Worse for Ourselves

The problem for allergy sufferers is that their body’s defense mechanisms sometimes overreact to something benign. Usually, it leads to mild, easily treatable symptoms. But allergens can also trigger more serious complications like asthma attacks, causing wheezing, chest tightness, and shortness of breath. In rare cases, they can lead to anaphylaxis, a whole-body reaction where the airways can swell shut and blood pressure drops to dangerously low levels.

The vast majority of pollen allergies are more annoying than dangerous, but seasonal pollen is so ubiquitous that it’s almost impossible to avoid, sneaking indoors through vents, window seals, on clothing, and in pet fur.

Some people are more sensitive than others, but the relentless, growing exposure can add up to misery even for those with mild allergies. Pollen grains range in size from 100 down to less than 10 microns, allowing them to penetrate deep into the lungs and irritate airways. Many types of plants release pollen as part of their reproductive cycle. Generally, trees spread pollen in the spring, grasses over the summer, and ragweed in the autumn.

However, the historical pollen timing patterns have already shifted.

Tree pollen is wafting off branches earlier in the season almost every year. Some grass species have seen their pollen release days delayed by almost a month while their overall season has grown longer. As a result, grass pollen increasingly overlaps with the ragweed pollen season, which itself has been extended by more than three weeks in some parts of the country since 1995.

There are two key mechanisms driving this trend, both induced by humanity’s appetite for fossil fuels. Increasing concentrations of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere from burning coal, oil, and natural gas directly induce many plant species to produce more pollen. Carbon dioxide can make plants grow bigger and faster, and produce more flowers, which leads to more pollen. More pollen leads to more seeds, which means even more plants spraying pollen the next season.

Higher levels of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere are also warming the planet and changing the climate. In general, that means warmer, shorter winters and earlier springs, which leads to longer growing seasons for plants. These trends will continue as global average temperatures go up, making allergies a significant public health burden.

Some parts of the country, such as Texas, are on track to see pollen counts almost double by 2050 compared to 2000.

It’s Not Just Pollen You Have to Worry About

For many people, allergies are an added complication on top of other health and environmental conditions. Air pollution from ozone, particulates, sulfur, and nitrogen compounds can cause their own breathing problems, but when they intersect with allergies, they can make symptoms even worse. Pollution from roads can make pollen from nearby plants more potent at triggering allergic reactions. Smoke from wildfires can also exacerbate allergies.

Cities may not offer much refuge. Changes to the landscape like urbanization can create a more favorable habitat for plants like ragweed. City centers also tend to warm up faster than their rural surroundings and experience higher concentrations of air pollutants, compounding the effects of allergies. These factors are especially potent in low-income and underserved communities.

Pollen isn’t the only allergen changing with the climate either. Rising temperatures and precipitation in some areas are increasing the number and duration of allergenic mold spores. Extreme weather further worsens the problem, as the damage and destruction create conditions for more mold. That was evident in New Orleans last year as storms like Hurricane Francine soaked the city.

“When these storms come through, they create so much damage over the landscape of the state,” John Carlson, who leads the high-risk allergy division at the Ochsner health system in New Orleans, said. “Some communities have resources to immediately move in and repair roofs and patch windows, and then we have a lot of folks that simply don’t have those resources. With leaking roofs, you have mold growth indoors. Because it’s so warm here, we can grow mold year round as long as there’s moisture.”

High winds from storms can also whip up dust, which can then trigger asthma. Additionally, there’s a phenomenon called thunderstorm asthma, where the weather conditions can rupture pollen grains into smaller, more allergenic fragments, triggering asthma attacks.

It’s not clear whether the overall number of people with seasonal allergies is increasing. The US may be approaching a plateau in the number of people who are susceptible to pollen, Carlson said. At the same time, there are other conditions that can present with allergy-like symptoms, and at high enough concentrations, even people without allergies will wheeze.

“In New Orleans, we have a ton of oak pollen—I mean, just so much oak pollen in the air—and you commonly have a lot of people who don’t have oak pollen allergy nevertheless with itchy eyes and the sneezing from just the irritant effect of the particles,” Carlson said.

The good news is that there are ways to contain the worst effects of seasonal allergies. For people with a history of bothersome seasonal allergies, seeing an allergist and finding out what their specific triggers are and what medicines work is key. It may make sense to start taking medications like nose sprays or over-the-counter allergy drugs before pollen ramps up.

“We generally say to have your medications in your system close to two weeks ahead of time because it takes some time to build up,” Mendez said. For people who don’t know if they have allergies but are concerned about the threat, pay attention to your symptoms and see an allergist if you do start to experience irritated eyes and airways. There are also more aggressive interventions for people with severe allergies who don’t respond to other medicines like desensitization therapy, also known as allergy shots.

Some of the same measures for avoiding air pollution also work for pollen. Pay attention to pollen forecasts in your local area. Avoid being outside and close doors and windows during high pollen release times, particularly in the morning. Leave your coat and shoes outside or locked away before you settle down at home. Wipe down your dog after a walk. Use a HEPA air filter in your living spaces.

Over the long term, it’s prudent to curb emissions of heat-trapping gases that worsen climate change and allergies. For now, keep the tissues close.

[junglejim4322]

I have been so sick for several days but it’s not even something I caught it’s the weather and my asthma attacking me and I’ve got like constant nosebleeds and fever and whatnot and missed my last therapy appointment of the year and now will have to wait weeks to find out if I will face repercussions for it maybe I should just succumb to hay fever and die

[brujadepinarrio]

🌼Medicinal & Spiritual properties:chamomile🌼

Chamomile is a herb that belongs to the Asteraceae family, Chamomile is a daisy-like herb with an apple-like scent native to Europe, Asia, and Western Asia

Medicinal properties: Chamomile is used for many human ailments such as hay fever, inflammation, muscle spasms, menstrual disorders, insomnia, ulcers, wounds, gastrointestinal disorders, rheumatic pain, and hemorrhoids(quick note: Chamomile may make asthma worse, so people with asthma should not take it. Pregnant women should avoid chamomile because of the risk of miscarriage. If you are allergic to asters, daisies, chrysanthemums, or ragweed, you may also be allergic to chamomile.)

Spiritual properties: chamomile has strong spiritual properties of healing, purification, luck favoring your way, love and many associate with the divine feminine, also perfect for prosperity and grounding.

How to utilize it: you can make a tea out of it,

1. Boil water

2. Add chamomile flowers or tea bags to a teapot or mug

3. Pour the boiling water over the chamomile

4. Steep for 5–7 minutes

5. Strain the tea

6. Add honey or lemon to taste

7. Pray over your tea and enchant it if you’re a spiritual person

You can also use it in a spell jar or dress your candles with it, be careful of fire hazard though and practice fire safety. You can also just put it in the tray with all the herbs and and light a candle on top of it

Enjoy and see you next time✨🌼🦥

[theantarwitch]

About medicine in witchcraft: Health spells, Professional Healers and Unprofessional scammers (And two healing spells from me)

Lately I have been seeing a dangerous amount of medical dangerous videos in our usual witchy spaces (specially in Instagram, since I refuse to use TikTok) and that bring me here in one of my long rants who nobody really cares. But, as a healer with lot of medical background, I have to.

First, for the love of your deity, don’t take these damn vids seriously. I’m not a doctor but I know enough that a huge ton of what they put there is medical misinformation dressed as mystical powers.

I’m not asking you to become a doctor, but at least remember: Physical symptoms are NEVER caused by one single illness, and you HAVE to rule out all the possible physical illness before even consider it a symptom of your superpowers.

Yes, some minor things like a random ear ringing or a random tingle on your hand doesn’t need you to run to ER, but at least THINK about mundane causes to it.

Your ear ring? Are you using headphones a lot? Loud music? You shower and water entered on your ear? You are taking meds? Stress? Your neck is stiff and affecting your inner ear? You are neurodivergent?

Your hand tingle? Is the same hand in what you use your phone 20 hours at day? You sleep over that arm? Your shoulder is stiff? You use a mousse a lot? You practice a sport and the nerves are tired? Did you drink coffee or Red Bulls?

And I’m not even mention REAL illnesses, this is just a bunch of mundane causes! So how you dare to believe in more deeper topics of spiritual stuffs, if you have zero critical thinking in something so mundane and basic as your own body? How you plan to be an efficient witch if you don’t even doubt about these things? How you even dare to talk about your deity if you believe anything as a sign?  

An advanced witch bases their path in three big needs:

Need of study (Books or google, spend months or YEARS reading and learning)

Need of critical thinking (Think, think and ask, be curious and compare data, question it)

Need of wise skepticism (Don’t fall into the “The government want me to believe this but I’m smarter” or “Vaccines do harm, people don’t need calcium, there is brick’s dust on ketchup” kind of mindset (Yes, these are things I heard). That’s not skepticism, that’s being a Facebook Boomer Mom. Skepticism is question everything and to always be suspicious, but is neither “don’t believe in anything because I’m so smart that I can see the lies”.

And healers, my beloved healers. As one, I have to say it on the most real way: LEARN SOME MEDICINE. Specially before to do public claiming that can really hurt others.

Why learn medicine? Because as happened once… A lovely lady did a spell to lose weight. She got gastroenteritis and spent a week on the bathroom. She lost weight? Yes. In a dangerous unhealthy way? Yes. She recovers her weight back after go to the doc? Absolutely.

The body is a fine machine, a ton of process, hormones, parts, that you will always ignore and omit.

Another big mistake: “Spell to Boost my Metabolism”. Do you even know what a metabolism is? What it does? Do you even know that it has three main functions of metabolism? (Conversion of the energy to run cellular processes; conversion to building block of proteins, lipids, nucleic acids, and some carbohydrates; and the elimination of metabolic wastes). When you “boost your metabolism”, what you are aiming to do? You even know what your body need of these three…

“Spell to boost my Immune System”… Again, what part? Do you even know that your immune system is “slow” or it is just working against an illness as it should? (Reaction is not the same than an immunodeficiency) Are you aware that your body can be doing great and you will be pushing to get an overactive immune system? (And getting Asthma, Eczema, Hay fever, Food allergy and any other kind of allergy, Lupus, Type 1 Diabetes, Inflammatory bowel disease, Celiac, etc.).

Please, if you use “detox spell” in any way, just stop. Period.

If you are not willing to spend a couple of weeks at least in the damn Wikipedia, or you are in a rush, at least aim big and general, do a classic “Health/Healing spell”, that is focused on that, bring health where is needed. “My body gets healthier. My body gets health where is needed” It can’t go wrong, since you purposely don’t specify where or which part, you just do a “Somewhere I need it, and since I can’t know it, the Cosmos may know it and aid me”. If you need spells to focus a healing in a body part, maybe you need a doc, not a spell…. (Get a doc. If is so simple to not need a doc, then your body will do it without need a spell anyway)

You can also do the same with Physical Strength Spells (again aiming to boost what you don’t know what it needs to be boosted and avoiding to boost something that it DOESN’T NEED IT).

And if you are a Healer who really want to have a 90% of effectiveness on focalized and specialized healing spells, then time to study. You will need to know about hormones, chemicals, physical process, all the systems, nerves, bones, nutrition, meds… And pretty much being able to discuss with you client (to put in a way) about literally all their medical history.

And a gently offer to anyone who actually read all this shit, I give a couple of “simple” ideas for you all:

Regeneration Spell: Just a Healing spell, aimed to “attack” where is needed, but it focusses in a cellular level. General Healing spells usually are so general that include things like disposal of waste, mineral absorption, water absorption, digestion, hair growing, skin growing, muscle develop, and pretty much EVERYTHING that’s happening on your body right now, even including the gut bacteria. A Regeneration Spell will focus in each single cell of your body, from skin to bone, to neurons, to T Cells from your immune system. All. Something that your body do (except with the neurons) but that get slower with the age. This spell focus on restores damaged or missing cells to full function (you can help it to happen better with a good balanced diet, some basic exercise, proper sleep, and trying to reduce stress)

Big warning. BE SPECIFIC “My cells will get regenerated where my body need it to be healthy and in full function” or something like that. Why SO specific if the healing spells are general? Because Cancer.

Yes. Cancer. A cancerous tumor is failed cell of your own body. Our beloved bodies kill around six infected or cancer cells each DAY. Eventually (if you live enough or if your immune system gets weak) one of them will grow your body be on troubles. If you do a regeneration spell without that proper aim, you will also help to any cancer cell to regenerate, hence you can cause you a HUGE DEAL in a future. Will not happen 100% of the cases, many of these tumors can be not cancerous (benign) yet give you problems.

How do the spell? Just as any healing spell. Do your way.

Homeostasis Spell: What’s is homeostasis? Is the condition of optimal functioning for the organism, a state of steady internal physical and chemical conditions maintained by living systems. Is a stable self-regulated process of equilibrium between interdependent elements. In simple words, is the perfect state of full pure health of your body. Is a healing spell without the “but”.  

What it affects? ALL in the most basic small internal way. Body temperature, fluid balance, the pH of extracellular fluid, the concentrations of ions, blood sugar, oxygen, hormones, etc. If the body do it properly, then is balanced, in an optimal functioning, hence healing itself without big issues.

This spell helps specially (or BOOST) the body on regulate itself despite the many changes in the environment, diet, or level of activity. In this case, you don’t need to be specific, since homeostasis seek for health naturally. Do your regular healing spell but like “My body reach homeostasis”.

So. Rant and all made, I think is time for me to shut up. See you around, and check if you need drink water, sleep, rest, stretch, food, meds or hygiene!

[defectivegembrain]

hay fever is ridiculous I am drained of all energy and struggling to breathe because the plants are blooming that makes me sound like some kind of evil wizard whose weakness is life and joy

[apollosdreams]

I love your post about elphaba allergic rhinitis. My other hc is that she has really bad eczema and getting wet triggers it (like with mine) which would fit the atopic triad of allergic rhinitis, asthma and eczema. Sorry this is hyperspecific but I'm glad someone has the same visions that I do

That is so so very real! People think she's gonna melt, no guys she's itchy as fuck, and also terribly hard to keep up with 😭 I don't think shes asthmatic though, I think she has that weirdly insane lung capacity and I just know Elphie's skin is baby smooth cause she cannot be caught being ashy especially cause of her eczema.

With Glinda, I think SHE'S the one that was asthmatic as a child, she'd get really bad asthma attacks that kind of filtered through panic attacks (if you get me). Elphaba finds this out after a terribly rough sparring session and she suddenly has an episode, thankfully, Elphaba was taught by dulcibear on how to administer the medicine. Glinda, in return, litters medicine for hay fever around the room next to Elphie during her particular hay fever days.

EEEK i just love nitpicking them, i recently saw an uptick of fanfics abt how Glinda has insane cuteness aggression towards Elphie and I wanna tackle that next AAAAAHH

[viktorsgloriousreign]

Fun Fact About Me:

Raw fruits and veggies make my mouth and throat itch like crazy. Some, worse than others.

It's called oral allergy syndrome, where your body mistakenly reacts to proteins in certain raw fruits and vegetables that are similar to pollen you're allergic to. And those who have seasonal allergies like hay fever are more likely to experience OAS, which I do have.

The proteins in certain raw vegetables can closely resemble the proteins found in pollen, triggering an allergic reaction.

Symptoms: itching, tingling, and/or swelling in the mouth, lips, and throat. And ohhh man, god forbid I have an open cut or something on my lip because it will sting and swell like a motherfucker lol I also start coughing because I have asthma.

Once they veggies and fruits are cooked or baked, I'm totally fine because the heat helps break down the proteins that cause a reaction. Drinking something also helps.

[unicornbeck]

RIP Richard Simmons.

Many years ago, my dad died quite suddenly of an asthma attack. He had bad hay fever, and he thought he’d get in one last mow before the weather turned really cold. He had run out of his inhaler, a fact which he didn’t realize until 11:30 at night. My mom went out to the all-night pharmacy to pick up a refill. My dad realized how bad it was, called 911, and started the shower to see if the steam could open his airways at all. He opened the door to the paramedics and collapsed. He never woke up.

He had just turned 34.

My mom, 32, returned to an ambulance flashing in front of the house. My sister, a year and a half old, and I, almost 7, slept through it all.

I woke the next morning to my mom, sitting on my bed. She had to tell me what had happened. That pa was dead and not coming back.

We stayed home, stayed inside, all day. My mom was shut away in her room, taking care of my tiny sister as needed, but otherwise mostly unreachable. The boredom and restlessness of that day are with me still, the shock of the way the world continued to exist, innocently, as if nothing had happened. My dad didn’t come home from the train. The sun went down, and time dragged on.

There are two years of my life that I just… don’t remember. I remember school, but not much else.

My mom was a zombie for a long time. She couldn’t cuddle or hug very much. She met all of our most basic needs, but it wasn’t living.

One day, she was sitting in the family room with the TV on mostly because that’s what you do. Richard Simmons came on. He was upbeat and encouraging, and so genuinely kind. He was funny and cheerful and so real. He was surrounded by ordinary women and men, with ordinary bodies. He called to my mom and told her to get off the couch and join them. And for the first time in 2 years, my mom began to breathe.

She credits Mr. Simmons with saving her life, and for the rest of my days, I will never forget what he did for her, and for our family. I love you, Mr. Simmons, wherever you are. Thank you for being the amazing person you were/are. There are no bounds to my gratitude. Peace.

Hail the traveler. 💗