#loss of a spouse

[unicornbeck]

RIP Richard Simmons.

Many years ago, my dad died quite suddenly of an asthma attack. He had bad hay fever, and he thought he’d get in one last mow before the weather turned really cold. He had run out of his inhaler, a fact which he didn’t realize until 11:30 at night. My mom went out to the all-night pharmacy to pick up a refill. My dad realized how bad it was, called 911, and started the shower to see if the steam could open his airways at all. He opened the door to the paramedics and collapsed. He never woke up.

He had just turned 34.

My mom, 32, returned to an ambulance flashing in front of the house. My sister, a year and a half old, and I, almost 7, slept through it all.

I woke the next morning to my mom, sitting on my bed. She had to tell me what had happened. That pa was dead and not coming back.

We stayed home, stayed inside, all day. My mom was shut away in her room, taking care of my tiny sister as needed, but otherwise mostly unreachable. The boredom and restlessness of that day are with me still, the shock of the way the world continued to exist, innocently, as if nothing had happened. My dad didn’t come home from the train. The sun went down, and time dragged on.

There are two years of my life that I just… don’t remember. I remember school, but not much else.

My mom was a zombie for a long time. She couldn’t cuddle or hug very much. She met all of our most basic needs, but it wasn’t living.

One day, she was sitting in the family room with the TV on mostly because that’s what you do. Richard Simmons came on. He was upbeat and encouraging, and so genuinely kind. He was funny and cheerful and so real. He was surrounded by ordinary women and men, with ordinary bodies. He called to my mom and told her to get off the couch and join them. And for the first time in 2 years, my mom began to breathe.

She credits Mr. Simmons with saving her life, and for the rest of my days, I will never forget what he did for her, and for our family. I love you, Mr. Simmons, wherever you are. Thank you for being the amazing person you were/are. There are no bounds to my gratitude. Peace.

Hail the traveler. 💗

[savebatsfromscratch]

No.21 ‘Till Death Do Us Part.

Ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/51001621

Words: 1,651

Cws: Possible death, (it’s left open to interpretation), definitely kidnapping, losing a spouse, dread?

Prompt: No. 21: “See the chains around my feet.” Vows | Restraints | “Don't move.”

Notes: I’m SO SORRY Teashipping community, I really want to write nice stuff about them, but this is all that I find myself spitting out. XD

Daisy readjusted the papers on her clipboard, squinting at the rare Pokemon she was tracking as she fought to keep an eye on it. The forest was a mess of underbrush and vines, but that was what she and Bill were here for. In order to combat the habitat destruction currently happening in the coral reefs and dark caves of her region and its colonies, Bill had devised a plan to show exactly how important a pristine natural environment was.

Daisy scribbled down a note on her paper, seeing a small scratch on the ear of the eevee, but sure to notice that it did not seem to be hindering the little creature in any way. She was so proud of Bill for thinking of this idea. In the past she had joked that she loved him so much that she couldn't stop thinking about him even while researching, and someday she was going to go over her notes and find a draft of a proposal written there instead.

Well, when that joke had become a reality, she just had to follow through with it, didn't she?

Her wedding ring fit comfortably on her finger, and it clacked lightly against her pen as she readjusted her clipboard once again. She couldn't help but smile as she caught her mind drifting away from her work and to her husband. He was the only thing that had ever been able to do that to her. She laughed and shook her head slightly, tapping her pen against the paper in an effort to get her focus back. This was his dream project, she had to focus! (After all, he was right behind her, focusing on his own piece of the project, she really should be working on hers.)

She looked back at the Pokemon and tried to make up for what she'd missed in daydreaming. The Eevee with the scratch on its ear, a really young looking Pikachu who had somehow already evolved from a Pichu, and... She squinted. Where had the other one gone? She scooted a little farther, scanning the complicated spaghetti strings of thorns for the Charmander that had been playing with the others just a few seconds ago. 

She looked a little harder, her pen seeming to scratch of its own accord as she focused on what was actually happening with the Pokemon. Both of them were standing still and silent, none of their adorable playing that they had been so invested in mere moments before. She blinked as if to clear a film from her eyes, but no, the two were still there, shivering in fear. (As if they knew something that she didn’t.)

She looked all around, but she didn’t see any of the threats that the Pokemon seemed so scared of. She felt her eyebrows knit together. Predation was definitely a natural fact of a well protected natural environment, but now that she was seeing the scared looks on the little animal’s faces, she was beginning to feel that awful chill of dred as well. Something felt very off there, but she didn’t have a clue what.

And then it hit her.

“Bill,” she whispered, trying to keep as quiet as possible, more out of panic rather than to not disturb the natural scene around them, “Do you hear anything?”

Bill stopped his scribbling, looking at her in confusion for a few moments before the utter silence of the forest registered to him. His eyes were suddenly lit with concern, and he squeezed Daisy’s hand tightly. “No,” his murmured, even quieter than she had been, “There could be a large predator in the area,”

Daisy looked nervously around them once more. Just because they were completely concealed in underbrush and sandwiched between two rotting tree trunks didn’t mean anything if there was a large Pokemon coming towards them. (Out of the corner of her eye, she watched as the Eevee and the Pikachu scampered off into the underbrush, presumably deciding that their chances were better if they ran.)

“What should we do?” Daisy asked, leaning into Bill as her heartbeat spiked in intensity, “Do you think we can handle a large Pokemon?”

Bill nodded slowly and patted a Pokeball on his hip, but he didn’t look entirely convinced with himself either. If there did happen to be a large, predatory Pokemon around here, it probably wouldn’t decide to attack them, but if it did… Bill was a lot of things, a lot of wonderful things, but a good battler wasn’t exactly one of them. Daisy pulled her legs a little closer to her chest, gripping Bill’s hand as tightly as she could manage without accidentally hurting him.

“Hey,” Bill whispered, brushing a string of Daisy’s behind her ear, “I vowed to protect you, remember?”

Daisy felt her heart swell as the memories replayed in her mind. A gorgeous wedding. Not too big, not too small, the perfect mix of family and friends. Food that she could have given her left leg to eat every day, a good mix of battlers and performers as their entertainment. The prettiest dress she’d ever seen. It had been a perfect wedding, with so many amazing parts that she couldn’t even list them all, but even so, she knew what her favorite had been.

Call her old fashioned, but Daisy had always thought that the best part of a wedding were the vows. How could a pretty cake or a nice dress ever compare to that glowing love that had filled her when Bill pledged his love to her, from now into forever, and that true, calming meaning of forever that she had felt when she had pledged her love to him? How could it ever compare to that truth of perfect love?

“Yes,” she whispered, pulled back into the present as a hungry wind rushed through the trees above them, “I remember,”

“Well,” Bill smiled that ever jokey smile of his, “I’m going to! Don’t you worry a bit, you’re safe with me!”

Daisy stifled a giggle, but she was cut off as the sudden sound of footsteps started coming through the woods. Instantly Bill’s expression changed to one of alarm, and Daisy’s heartbeat picked up in tempo once more.

“That’s not a Pokemon,” Daisy hissed, hearing awful human voices floating through the twisted trees. In any other situation, the sound of a human would have made Daisy feel better, but something about those barking laughs was all wrong.

“I know,” Bill hissed back, pressing closer to her as if to shield her from what they didn’t even know yet. His breathing was coming hard and fast, and Daisy had to admit that she wasn’t faring any better.

“Where are they?” Daisy whispered, her fingernails digging into Bill’s palm as she squeezed his hand. (They had been holding hands for so long now that his wedding ring now felt warm in her hands.)

“I don’t know,” Bill answered, his eyes glowing with panic as the footsteps and voices grew louder, “But if they see us…” They held still for a little longer, shivering as the people grew closer and closer to their hiding spot. 

“...that’s the plan,” one of them was saying, “We take over the company and we’ll have free stock,”

Daisy and Bill looked at each other in alarm, suddenly very aware that they should have taken after the Pokemon and ran long ago. Without even speaking, they knew each other’s plans. They had to get out of there, now.

Daisy started the race, jumping up and over the tree trunk as she dragged Bill after her. Immediately, she saw the men she had been hearing. Four or five of them, all dressed in the traditional black garb of grunts of an evil team, and all looking right at her and Bill. The problem was, they were only a few feet away.

“Run!” Daisy yelled, but the two of them didn’t get very far before the men reached them. Hands wrapped around Bill, and he screamed as he was yanked to a stop. His hand was torn out of hers, and one of the men laughed as Bill was forced to the ground.

“Bill!” Daisy yelled, skidding to a stop of her own in order to look back at her husband. “No!” The remaining men inched closer to Daisy, but she did not budge.

“Run!” Bill yelled. Despite the hold the grunts had on him, he only seemed focused on her safety, “Please!”

“No!” She screamed, fumbling for Pokeballs but finding none on her person, “I can’t leave you! I love you!” The evil men seemed to laugh, and one began to reach for a weapon on his waist as Daisy continued to stand there.

“Run,” Bill whispered again, so quiet Daisy could not hear, but loud enough that she understood every word, “I want you safe, please, keep yourself safe for me,”

Daisy felt tears begin to rush down her face, but she nodded. 

She ran.

She ran for so long she didn’t know what was what anymore, tearing through thorns and ferns and feeling the cold wetness of streamwater fill her boots. She ran for so long that the shouts of the men disappeared into the darkness of the forest behind her. She ran for so long that her head began to swim with cotton and fuzz, but it could not stop her from thinking about her husband.

Shaking, she dropped to her knees. “Bill!” She sobbed, feeling thorns prick into her knees, “Bill!” 

He had promised that they would always be together! He had promised her would protect her! He had promised they would love each other until the ends of their lives! They had so much more to do together, how could she have just left him like that?!

Daisy curled up in the rotting leaves.

Bill was gone, and it was all her fault.

[runawaywidow]

The Night my Husband Died

     It was a typical summer Friday night in our beach community. Mike and I got a text from friends that people were meeting on the beach for happy hour. We grabbed some snacks and beers and headed across the street to our North Shore Long Island community beach.       “How do you use the panoramic feature on this new phone?” my friend Meg asks me as we admire the setting sun.             “Oh,…

[suchananewsblog]

Healing and Rebuilding Your Life After a Spouse's Suicide

Jan. 24, 2023 — Betsy Gall, a real estate agent, seemed to have everything: three children, a comfortable home, a handsome, “life-of-the-party” oncologist husband whom she loved. But her world shattered on Thanksgiving Day 2019, when her husband, Matthew, took his life. The couple had just moved from Minneapolis to Charlotte, where Matt took a new position in a private practice. “He felt the move…

[persephoneggsy]

anyway Sebastian Vael would be desperate to make sure any kids he has feels loved and cared for in the way he felt he wasn’t during his own childhood

[shallowseeker]

You'll fix it right, Cas? Please.

Dean is frantic when Jack is dying.

///

And then, he's looking at Cas, wanting him to make it all better. Here in 14x07 Unhuman Nature, we see the first sign of loss -of-a-child stress on the Dean/Cas marital dyad. We see Dean appeal to Cas, too, in 14x09 The Spear, when Sam and Jack are accosted by AU Michael. (All scripts here.)

"Many times each individual falsely expects their spouse to make the pain go away and when they cannot..."

"(Dean) looks up, pleadingly, at Cas--"

(Text Attributions// Supernatural scripts here via @spnscripthunt. Transcripts are located here via SPNWiki. Visit their Tumblr to donate.)

[strawberryamanita]

Codi Codi

What if the reason that Wilford is so touchy with everyone is because he didn't know what was going on for so long and everyone perceived him as dangerous so he never got the calm quiet slow affection that he needed (which is why he's always dancing solo at the club)

He never does get the time to vent but he gets to hold people and listen to them and feel connected for once so he doesn't mind all that much. But nobody notices because he doesn't let them notice.

We all agree yes yes Dark's so blocked off from themself they don't open up to anyone but have we considered that Wilford is the same?

awawa...

[grindelworks]

“Immense loss can be metabolized only through active grieving. We must allow the grief to have its way… We must take care that this grief not be impeded…

I suggest…that you abandon any attempts to find “the answer”…Instead of striving for an answer, allow yourself to be undone…”

-Bill Plotkin

[melien]

Bonus Kyle!

He was my favourite sim in 2016🥺 I think about him from time to time.

[the-snake-and-the-statue]

"Achilles??"

Odette knocks on his door, trying to not slam their fists against it like most people normally need to in order to grab his attention from in there.

Achilles doesn't open the door. They knock again, a bit louder. This time, the familiar click and creak sound out from the inside as the door opens and light penetrates the shadows inside.

The two stand nearly face to face as he looks up at them and slowly blinks, expression void as ever. Odette crosses their arms.

"Yume's garden is missing. She is distraught and currently looking everywhere for it.... And you, as you were the last to accompany her. Hexe destroyed the garden, yes?"

He nods.

"Do you know where it is?"

Achilles hesitates before opening up the door more and stepping aside.

Odette steps into the room; this is probably their third least favorite room, given the tower it's in and how closely it resembles the dungeon. His bed looks like it's been made but slept on top of for years. There's dust covering the few pieces of furniture, and the chandelier above is shattered.

The only true source of is the candle on the desk, which flickers gently and reveals flashes of green and pink to Odette. Their eyes widen in surprise.

"After Hexe destroyed it, I figured perhaps I still could fix it for Yume. I used to do that a lot, in the real world," he mutters, walking over to his chair and sitting down. Odette reluctantly follows, the uneven, rocky ground serving awfully for their balance.

Achilles uses a spoon to shovel some dirt up, before placing one of the mini trees back into place and packing the dirt back around it. He covers the patch with a little moss, making sure it fades well into the rest of the ground.... Odette can see sections of the wall where he scraped the moss from.

The two sit in silence as Achilles continues to work... Odette hasn't seen him engage in anything like this since before Hexe, and even then they're sure that back then he would have laughed it off as 'childish' or 'unimportant.'

"Are you just going to watch or are you going to yell at me for what I said to Yume?"

"That was my initial idea, yes. But yelling has never really had an effect on you. By now I am plenty sure you know what you did was wrong and are ashamed."

Achilles nods, a bitter undertone washing through his blank face as Odette sits on the bed..... they note that compared to their own, it feels like wood.

"Truly, I just.... I simply do not understand, and I doubt anyone in this kingdom could. Just because she has the understanding of an adult does not mean you can vent to her as one, she is still a child."

Another silent nod.

"You have been unwilling to tell most about this, in fact as far as I know she and maybe 'her' are the only ones who know. Hexe found out by incident, if I remember correctly. Yet you turn around and tell the one member of the kingdom who you absolutely should NOT be telling any of that stuff! What were you thinking, unloading such weight on a child?"

"........"

"Well???"

"I didn't realize what I did until she left. I got lost in my mind, in the words. It's not an excuse, I understand that, but once I started, I...... I couldn't stop myself."

Odette looks out at the blocked out window, covered by bricks that don't match the rest of the interior.

"I think she heard it as well."

"..... heard what?"

"The sounds."

"What sounds?"

"The sounds of the crash."

As soon as the word 'crash' leaves his mouth, Odette's ears prick to something distant and hollow..... screaming. No.... squealing?

"What was that?" They look around frantically, confused.

"That was one of the sounds," Achilles replies, staring at the almost finished garden in front of him. He sets down his tools and faces Odette.

Odette feels a shiver run down their spine. They hadn't heard a sound like that since they were young...... what was it again, what was it.....

Suddenly they realize.

Tires.

"..... Achilles. Tell me what happened. Tell me now."

"You'll hear all the sounds as well. You won't look at me the same way. It's not pretty."

"I often attempt to refrain from talking about this, but I have experienced many harsh trials in my life, Achilles, that I would say have brought me resilience to hearing of most things. I do not take pride in that, per say, but I know if no one else can listen know, I certainly can. Perhaps it would help you-"

He gives them a skeptical, annoyed glance.

".... alright, maybe it would not help... but it would ensure you are not carrying such a burden fully alone. Someone would understand a bit more."

He's quiet for a long, long time. Odette holds their breath, both hoping and dreading to know this information. Maybe it's much worse than they thought.

"... I don't know where to start."

Their heart skips as they simultaneously sigh a breath of relief. This is actually going to happen.

Achilles speaks up again before Odette can. "You had a family, correct?"

".... I did, yes."

He closes his eyes. "I was getting ready to start one with my wife."

".... you had a wife?"

Achilles nods and looks up at the ceiling, leaning back in his chair. "... Galene. We met at college, and she was my tutor at first. I always was working through life, quickly, feeling like I had to do something.... but not with Galene. The silent moments in each others' company were worth more than the world, more than the galaxy, more than every star in the night sky. Her company settled the waves of thoughts crashing into my mind into calm, elegant seas that were still hardly comparable to her grace and tranquil nature."

He smiles, such a lovesick yet heartbroken grin filling his face. "The day we got married, I sobbed at the altar, watching her walk down the aisle with that shy, loving grin that I always wanted to be the cause of. I wanted to give everything to her, and I worshipped the very ground she walked on and the air she breathed. No amount of words in any language could describe her and the peace she brought to my life."

Odette looks up at the shattered chandelier as Achilles describes Galene..... he talks with more pure love and emotion than he had ever once expressed. She can almost feel that calm presence he spoke so highly of, easing the room around them.

His smile grows more.

"And then...... we found out we were expecting."

Odette's eyes light up, forgetting the heaviness of the situation for a moment. "You were going to have a child?!"

Achilles chuckles, thinking back on the memory fondly.

"I was about your age, 32. Seeing the test and Galene's smile was the second greatest day of my life.... doctors said it would be a miracle if she would be able to have a child. Our praises to the heavens and gods above that day were endless. We were going to be parents. I was going to be a father."

Odette feels their smile grow.... he was married. And a to-be father.

....

Was.

His smile starts to fade. Odette hears something in their ears again.... the low, nostalgic hum of a car.... followed by some faded voices.

"We learned we were going to have a girl... me, Galene, and her sister Maharene, all in the ultrasound room. Maharene was more like me. She was loud and confident and oh so protective of her sister.... a fighter. Never afraid to speak her mind... we fought sometimes, but she ended up being my best friend."

They nod slightly as one of the voices grow clear.

"@;#>@^×, keep your eyes on the road!"

"We were driving home from the clinic where we learned our baby's gender... and I was talking with my friends. They wanted to meet up for drinks and games at our favorite bar that night."

"Were you... calling them?"

"No.... texting."

Odette felt their blood run cold. They had forgotten what texting was until that point.... and also the horrors of what happened when people texted and drove.

They suddenly realize what must have happened. Suddenly, knowing this doesn't feel like such a good idea anymore.

A flash of green passes by in Odette's vision, as Achilles closes his eyes. He barely seems to realize they're there anymore, just talking to no one in particular.

"Texting while driving was the one habit Galene couldn't get me to fix, I thought I was a natural. Maharene nearly slapped the phone out of my hand that day. Galene stopped her but kept telling me to get off the phone. I didn't. I kept trying to make plans with my friends."

Odette blinks slowly, and the vision of a car interior down a road fills their mind. The voices are louder and clearer.

"@;#>@^×, get off the damn phone, you almost hit that lady!!!"

"Please, you can message them when you get home, just- please- get off the phone!"

"And I didn't."

The pleading gets louder, as well as the sounds of the car.... Odette feels their breath escape them and mind grow dizzy. They feel like they can't open their eyes, and every direction looks wrong and distorted. Somewhere in the distance, they hear Hexe's taunting laughter.

"I didn't see the intersection. And I didn't notice the red light as I typed out my message."

"HONEY- PLEASE!!!"

"@;#>@^× PAY FUCKING ATTENTION!!!"

Odette sees the shape of a large pickup truck appear from the right side of the vision.... it appears so fast they hardly have time to react.

"@;#>@^×!!!!"

*CRASH*

......

.....

....

...

..

.

Odette gasps as the vision vanishes, not realizing they were blocking their right side. It ended right as the truck made contact.... right as the crash rang out. It looked so real. It sounded so real. It felt so real.

Hexe cackles loudly from afar, a bitter sound added to the ringing in their ears. They look over to see Achilles staring straight ahead at the wall, tears rolling down his horrified face.

"The next thing I see is Galene with half her head missing, and her stomach burst open.... something with one of the truck parts stabbed right through her. Her lap was a mess of guts and what I assumed was Halia..... for once, I didn't recognize her."

His voice is low and dry, as if forcing his vocal cords to work.

"I killed everyone in that crash. The driver.... Maharene... Galene and our daughter. Everyone. I was the only one who lived. And I spent half our savings trying to save any one of them.... but they were all dead on impact."

"It led to prison for 8 years. During that time, everyone in our hometown learned of what happened. I lost everything. Everyone left me. My family. My friends. My job. The rest of our savings. Everything and everyone."

Achilles looks down, voice catching on a sob as he stares at his hands.

"They told me to stop. They told me to put it away. It was only a 20-minute drive, I could have waited. But I didn't. I didn't listen."

Odette feels sick to their stomach. They don't have a good response.... how does one even go about responding to such a thing?

"I think she left me in the afterlife.... I don't feel Galene around me anymore. The silence is just.... silence. No comfort. No love. Just a deafening reminder of what I did. Only reason I didn't kill myself and join her was because it all felt too.... easy. I didn't deserve to see my family again like that. I couldn't."

Odette swallows back a cry and whispers, barely audible.

"... how did you... end up here then? You didn't remember anything when you got here, right?"

Achilles somewhat realizes Odette is still listening. He's a bit surprised they're still there.

"No. I heard that one of my coworkers, who died a while back, his son had taken this job and gone missing... heard sketchy things about that company, figured it was time to die and I'd let them choose how to do it. Not like anyone would care if I disappeared. So I went in, faked some things, got the job."

"The day they put the headset on, I was on some pills that fuck with memory for a bit. Guess it fucked with the headset too.... 'cause I was back to how I was. And I couldn't remember a damn thing."

Odette nods. They remember how Achilles used to be..... bold, brave, loud, confident, cocky... some would even say a bit insufferable. He still played his role of "hero" perfectly, helping people however they needed and not resting until the job was complete. He and Icia shared that sentiment with each other.

"How did you remember...? Was it because of Hexe?"

"No. Dunite."

Odette's quiet for a moment.

".... Dunite?"

"I was curious to know. Everyone was talking about their old lives and... I couldn't remember any of mine. So I asked if she could do something about it.... she could. And she did. Remembering everything all at once was probably worse than any punishment Hexe could dish out."

"I've tried every way under the sun to undo that spell. You've seen the extremes I've resorted to." He stares at his wrists, faded scars along the length of his forearms. "Though, now that you know, can you really blame me...? You'd want to die too if you were forever subjected to remembering the worst mistake of your life, over and over, every minute of every day. You stop fearing seeing your victims in heaven and just want to go to your punishment in hell."

Achilles stares ahead, tears falling onto the greenery of the garden. All the emotion is completely overwhelming him, talking about such an event in depth after so long of keeping silent.

"Every day... every hour... every minute.... every second. I just remember it all and ask myself why. Why didn't I listen...? Why did I think it'd be fine...?"

"Why did I do it....?"

Odette says nothing.

Achilles adds the finishing touches to the restored garden. "Look... I'm not sorry for hiding this, but I am sorry for letting it spiral into this. Yume didn't deserve to hear all of that..... neither did you, although you were persistent. I wish you weren't, It doesn't benefit anyone in any way..... though, I suppose someone understanding a little more makes this kingdom feel a little more like something of a home again. A little less foreign and cold.... even if that's really all this place is now.

"......."

He picks up the garden and turns in Odette's direction without looking up at them. "You should probably bring this back to Yume now...... she didn't deserve to hear all of that. She's a child. Doesn't matter her maturity.... I shouldn't have told her any of that, and I'm hoping this can serve as something of an apology to her. She'll probably know that it was me. She always knows."

He finally looks up at Odette. They're staring at him with the widest, most heartbroken eyes he's ever seen on another person, face stained with blackish tears that soak into their shaking hands folded in their lap. They shake as they swallow a little, trying to hide the sheer devastation on their face. It's a sight that catches Achilles very, very off guard.

"..... Ode...?"

They glance away and wipe their tears with a hand, taking a few shaky breaths and nodding.

"... I'm alright."

"... No, you're not. Don't hide it. No one is okay just... hearing all that. Especially when they see and hear exactly what I'm talking about."

They look back up at him, fresh tears taking their place down their face. Achilles gives them a grief-filled smile. A smile of no happiness, no joy.... simply hollow, dead, unending pain and grief.

"..... I'm so sorry, Achilles. I'm so sorry for you and your wife and y-your daughter and...." They try to continue before their voice catches on a sob, and Achilles holds up a hand.

He shakes his head. "Be sorry for them.... not for me. It's my burden. This is...." He lowers his head, tears lightly plinking against the stone ground. "This is my fault, and my consequence. It doesn't make up for what I did... but if I can't get them back, what's the point of trying to make it better....? It won't get better. I've accepted that. You should, too... being sad over me won't make a difference. Just gives you one more thing to worry about."

He offers them a hand, and after a few seconds, they take it and stand uneasily. Achilles carefully places the fixed garden in their arms.

"Bring this to Yume.... she'll appreciate it."

"... what about you?"

"I'll do what I always do. Like I said, talking about this doesn't make it better for me. Just makes the memories a bit louder," he replies.

They nod and look down at the garden.... it looks good as new. Even the fish are alright and happy.

".... are you going to be alright?"

".... in due time, yes. Will you...?"

"I suppose as okay as I can be." He still has tears slowly rolling down his face. "Go see Yume now.... she's probably looking for you. And one more thing.... please don't tell anyone. This is one bit of gossip I don't want getting to Mirobelle and the twins."

They nod slightly; not that they would even think of letting such a private, horrifying secret reach anyone else's ears. After a few seconds, Odette sets the garden on the bed and approaches Achilles, pulling him into a hug.

He noticeable freezes in their arms as a choked sob escapes their lips.... the hug only lasts a few seconds before they pull back and attempt to smile at him.... it's more like a grimace.

".... farewell for now, Achilles. T-thank you for this talk... I... I hope to see you again soon."

They pick up the garden once more and walk out of the room, desperately trying to stop their tears as the light from the hallway almost blinds them.

Achilles just stares at the open door for a few seconds before looking down at the ground.

A small chuckle escapes his mouth.

It turns into heavy laughter.

And then melts into agonizing, mournful sobs as he falls to his knees, the blunt force of memories whaling on his mind.

(I'm sorry... I'm sorry..... I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so fucking sorry....)

Achilles continues to wail out for his lost family, alone in his room, wishing for nothing more than to undo what was done or pay the cost for it with his life.

A price he will never be able to pay.

Meanwhile, the sound of heavy footsteps walking away from the hall rings out from an unknown location.

[i-did-not-mean-to]

Fëanorian Week - Caranthir

So...erm...yeah, I don't even know what to say about this one...

Words: 510

Characters: Caranthir & Celegorm, Caranthir x Haleth

Prompts: Childhood, Spouse, Betrayal, Dwarves & Humans, Marriage, Appearance

Warnings: Oh insecurity, sadness, longing, loss...

Anger—diffuse and dull now—billowed through Caranthir’s soul like a pinkish mist.

At times, it felt as if all the other emotions which he’d once been able to feel had been displaced by that singular fire which kept his heart beating by sheer, brute force.

His fingers tightened around worn, threadbare fabric, and he scowled ferociously.

He’d tried to throw away the ghastly ragdoll countless times—it barely resembled anything at all, let alone the cat it had meant to represent upon its creation, and he hated how attached he was to the accursed thing.

For as long as he could remember, Tyelko had disliked him.

Of course, little ill-tempered, red-faced Morifinwë had not been worthy of the incandescent wrath or the formidable hatred of so tempestuous a soul—no, he’d grown up in the bitingly cold shadow of his older brother’s disdain.

Thus, the nameless lump of fabric—made of scraps from one of their father’s old mantles—had been the only gift Caranthir had ever received from Celegorm.

All the stitches were crooked, and the knobbly filling of discarded thread and whisps of clothes his brothers had outgrown had long since fallen out on account of the shoddy handiwork.

Irascible and impatient by nature, Caranthir had decided to take it apart and make it anew at least as often as he’d considered throwing it into the flames, but, ultimately, he never had.

“It’s red, like you,” his sibling had crooned upon thundering into his room in a flurry of dead leaves and mud. “It can be your friend.”

Caranthir, who had gained respect but never love over the years, would have been mortified that he still yearned for friendship so desperately; alas, shame had been burned out of his being along with hope on the battlefield.

Innumerable were his allies; he was feared and esteemed in equal measures by his own kind as well as his trade partners, but none of these brave souls had ever held any real affection for him.

Except…

Despite the betrayals he’d perpetrated and endured, and which had hardened him into something as unrecognisable as the mangled toy he clasped against his aching chest, Haleth had smiled at him as if he wasn’t unlovely and bitter.

She’d been wrong, but that didn’t diminish the sense of wonder and awe that flooded Caranthir’s petrified heart whenever his thoughts but grazed the image of her boundless, reckless joy, etched indelibly onto the last remaining soft spot of his soul.

Wordlessly, he laid down his childhood comfort, a symbol of untarnished love that could never be unmade or marred by dark deeds and terrible times, on the wet earth under which rested the brittle bones of one he had cherished more than he’d ever confessed.

“I give to thee, Haleth of the Haladin, queen amongst mortals, the jealously guarded and honestly dismal craft of Turcafinwë Tyelkormo…along with the wretched soul of one you might have saved had your fate been a different one.”

Desolate and utterly alone, he turned and limped away, blind with tears.

-> Masterlist

@feanorianweek, here is my first submission!

[strryhaze]

“my guilty conspiracy theory is that i’m convinced the kennedy’s have connections that always impede these films/series from ever making it past production bc Hello ?”

No bc that Netflix series you’re talking about was announced like last year and there has been no update since lmao. Also a TON of projects about them have been announced for like the past 15 years (I remember one about Kick in 2008) and they never happen.

It’s either because they have really good connections (Maria Shriver herself is insanely well connected) so they get the projects shut down or it’s just too much work and effort because telling these stories do take time.

yup when i started learning about the kennedy’s, i thought there would be countless of well-budgeted kennedy films and shows ……. it was actually crickets. i think there are only like two maybe three good films out there and the rest of the kennedy media was made with two dollars and a dream, aside from the documentaries of course. not to say that they’re bad, but they’re not Great either.

there was also a new jackie film announced in 2021. it was supposed to be about this “sweeping love story” between jackie and lord harlech who she entertained before she married onassis. they had already casted both actors anddddd we’ve heard nothing else for the past four years. we know what that means unfortunately …

and yes maria shriver is definitely well-connected, especially with having been married to arnold schwarzenegger. her son is about to star in the new white lotus season and he also played a character in a the boys spin-off. rory kennedy is also in the film industry. she works primarily on documentaries, but she most certainly has connections as well. they’re both close to caroline, maria more than rory it seems, so if she ever needed a film to be axed … she would know who to call. although to be fair, caroline has probably made her own connections too. she got jack to star in one of his favorite shows 😭

i do agree that sometimes films just naturally don’t make it past production, but when it starts becoming a pattern, i have to side eye a little bit …

[impulsivelycontentious]

So something happened while I was playing dragon age: Inquisitin.

I started running around the hinterlands map and... I knew exactly where I was. Exactly where I was going.

And then I started crying, because I have so much memory loss. The familiarity is more than a little overwhelming.

In a good way.

I love this game.

[soclonely]

OC-Tober Day 2: Rainy Day

Today I created a small dad rock playlist and a little drabble for my OC Tom. Tom is the owner and operator of 79s clone bar. He's a rough and grumpy looking old man, but he's actually a kindhearted and soft teddy bear. After his wife Millie passed, Tom didn't have much to do with his life during retirement. He was bored and lonely and decided to apply for a grant to open up an establishment to cater to the men of the GAR so they can kick back, relax, and get some normalcy in life. Toms favorite thing to do on a rainy day is sit back with a cup of coffee, then head into his workshop to work on his old speeder he always swore to Millie he was going to finish and drive some day. He puts on his old dad rock playlist and sits, fiddling with various projects and droids that he picks up to helps the neighbors with instead, leaving the speeder always untouched.

Tom sighs and sets down the mug he had been drinking out of, making a face. "Still ain't got your touch, but its better than when I started Millie." He chuckles, staring at the frame of his wife sitting on the window sill of their kitchen. "Of course no one could ever make a cup of caff like you." He adds, tone somewhat proud. Tom looks out the window at the dark sky, small droplets of rain already painting the glass."Looks like another downpour today. Good day to go to the garage and work on the speeder. Don't worry mama, I will get to that honey do list the girls left me as well." Tom groans, standing up from his seat and shuffling over to the fridge where the paper was stuck, a small list of things that Dally and Lenani had asked of him for the bar this week, ranging from ordering supplies to a few more secret requests needed by some of their usual patrons. "Well, I'm heading out to the garage." He picks up his flannel from the back of his chair and picks up his coffee mug, giving the photo a small nod and a smile. "Love ya ma. I'll be in for lunch, don't worry."

[nikolainationpresident]

When the generation loses. Idk I never watched it.

[musical-chick-13]

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