#Apologies for the delay but we're now good to go!

[aquacomet]

Happy Ruin Eclipse Day! 🎉

May 19th marks the anniversary for the day the first FNAF Security Breach: Ruin DLC trailer was revealed! In celebration Ruin Eclipse's first appearance I'll be opening a magma collab board from today!

This will be a multi day-long themed magma collab where we'll be aiming to try add as many Eclipses as we can on one page! (This includes AUs and variations! Sun and Moons and their variations/AUs are also allowed!)

Remember! The board will be open and available for at least 3 days from when this is posted! This give people a chance to join if they are busy for the opening day or generally need time to finish their art!

(The board may be open longer depending how things go, make sure to check the reblogs posted from myself for updates!)

Before jumping in here are the rules:

No NSFW

Merge your layers when finished! (This is important to prevent slowdowns and allow others to draw if we go near the layer limit)

Make sure to sign your work so I can credit you when the final result is posted!

Keep your character a reasonable size

Please try to colour and finish your character/art if you can!

The board is DCA themed (AU's and variations are also encouraged!)

Without further ado, happy doodling!

[mysteryshoptls]

SR Jade Leech - Nightmare Suit Vignette

"Oh my, this is a grave situation"

[Halloween Town – Gate]

Jade: Well, Jack-san tasked us to look into how the Halloween preparations were faring…

???: ――HUH!? You were assigned to make sweets, right? Why are you making clothes!?

Malleus: It seems that trouble is already brewing.

Jade: Oh, my… Malleus-san, we should go see what is happening.

[Halloween Town – Center]

Jade: Mr. Mayor, everyone, it seems like you're in a bit of a pickle…

Mayor: Ah, Jade-kun, Malleus-kun!

Mayor: So, it seems like the instructions weren't clear, so it's causing some delays in preparations…

Mayor: For example, the person in charge of making the "sweets" misheard and started making "suits"…

Mayor: Or, the person making the decorations painted the orange parts black… There are all sorts of trouble here and there…

Malleus: I see. And this was only discovered after speaking with the townsfolk about it.

Jade: This Halloween has many new aspects to work with. I did expect for these sorts of incidents to crop up…

Jade: However, this may take much longer than I thought it would to bring everything back in line.

Mayor: EHH!!? A-A-Are you saying we're in a really bad pinch…?

Jade: Not to worry, we should still be able to recover from this.

[Mayor's face changes to glad]

Mayor: Whew…! Thank goodness～

Jade: …......

Jade: Ah, but…

[Mayor's face changes to sad]

Mayor: EH, WH-WH-WH-WHAT!?

Jade: Ah, no, it's nothing.

[Mayor's face changes to glad]

Mayor: Oh, good～ You scared me for a second.

Jade: Oh, but the time we have remaining is a little worrisome…

[Mayor's face changes to sad]

Mayor: W-WORRISOME!?

Jade: Malleus-san, how much time do we have left to finish preparations?

Malleus: I would say approximately 30 hours.

Jade: Eh!! Oh, this is no good… I cannot believe we "ONLY" have that much time left…

Mayor: S-S-S-So we're really in for it now…

Mayor: SOOOOB! WE WON'T MAKE IT IN TIME FOR HALLOWEEEEEEEN～!

Jade: Oh, my, did my thoughtless comment cause such a tragic look to appear upon your face? …My sincerest apologies.

Jade: There's no need to cry. I'm sure if we work together, we'll be able to pull through.

Malleus: If the preparations aren't completed in time, we would also be at fault for being the ones who spearheaded these plans. We shall lend a hand.

[Mayor's face changes to glad]

Mayor: Eh, y-you'll help me? Thank you, both of you!!

Mayor: I was just about to go speak with each person in town about their individual instructions one by one, just like Jack said to.

Mayor: Will you two join me?

Malleus: Yes, I don't mind at all.

Jade: Neither do I. Let us work together to solve this crisis.

[Mayor leaves]

Malleus: …Leech, you sure seem to always enthusiastically offer to lend a hand.

Jade: Oh, is that how it seems to you, Malleus-san?

Malleus: Heh… Well, I suppose I shouldn't interfere with your affairs. Do as you wish.

[Halloween Town – Alleyway]

[Mayor's face changes to sad]

Mayor: No, no! This musical score doesn't match the current Halloween theme.

Mayor: Goodness me, if you're going to go through the effort to jump out of hiding to scare me when I've come all this way, the least you can do it make sure the music is correct!

Malleus: Hm… It seems as though the musicians were practicing music that we had not planned for.

Jade: This means they will need to start practicing new music starting now.

Jade: Will they even possibly finish in time? I am starting to feel anxious as to whether everything will be perfect for Halloween Day…

Mayor: EEEHHH!!!!

Jade: …Is what I originally thought.

Jade: However, when we passed by the musicians earlier, their musical talent was absolutely superb. I'm sure everything will be fine.

[Mayor's face changes to glad]

Mayor: Y-Yes! Whew, that scared me～ Time to pull ourselves together and head off to the next person!

[Halloween Town – Town Hall]

Halloween Town Resident: Look, Mayor! Don'tcha think this candy wrapper looks good?

Mayor: Oooh…! It looks so fancy! It's perfect for this year's Halloween.

Mayor: I was worried about what to do, since there's been so many problems left and right, but it looks like you guys here are on track!

Malleus: Hm? There's smoke coming from the wrapper.

Jade: Well, that is serious. We should look inside quickly.

Jade: …Hm, it seems it's been made with ingredients foreign to the recipe. This is an utter failure and cannot be consumed.

[Mayor's face changes to sad]

Mayor/Halloween Town Resident: EEEEHHHH!!!?

Jade: Oh my, this is a grave situation. Candy is an absolute must for this Halloween…

Jade: If we cannot eat candy, it will immediately bring down this town's wonderful atmosphere…

Jade: All our expectations for a fun and enjoyable Halloween would come to naught…

Mayor: AAAAH, THIS IS TERRIBLE! IT'S ALL OVERRRRR～～!!

Jade: …And, so that does not happen, I shall lend a hand here.

Jade: Fortunately, I've made this candy before, so I should be able to pick it right up.

[Mayor's face changes to glad]

Mayor: Really!? You're a lifesaver, Jade-kun～!

[Halloween Town – Gate]

[Mayor's face changes to sad]

Jade: We've been able to get many of the town's residents back on track… But it seems that confusion is still running rampant.

Mayor: Urgh, I give up. There's no way a Halloween with this many problems during the planning phase would be able to succeed…

Mayor: I'm going to quit being mayor! Who cares what happens with Halloween!?

Mayor: Jade-kun! While we were making our rounds with everyone, you were very helpful in lending a hand.

Mayor: So, please, become Mayor from this moment on and lead everyone into prosperity. Well then, goodbye…

[Mayor leaves]

Jade: Eh, Mr. Mayor? Just wait a moment, are you truly resigning your position!?

Malleus: …There he goes. He was in such a state of despair that he could not even hear our voices.

Jade: Well… I wasn't expecting him to designate me mayor… A pleasant incident like this rarely comes around twice!

Jade: As such, perhaps I could take this opportunity to craft some new rules and regulations. Do you have any thoughts, Malleus-san?

Malleus: You shouldn't take the joke too far, Leech.

Jade: Fufu, my apologies. It seems I got a little carried away.

Jade: Well now, time to get back to business… We should go and bring him back.

[Graveyard Gate]

Jade: Just where has he gone, I wonder…?

Malleus: …Hm? Leech, I've found him. He's sitting down behind that grave over there.

Jade: Ah, you're right. ―Mr. Mayor!

Mayor: Eh…? Jade-kun, Malleus-kun, why are you here?

Jade: Well, of course, we came for you.

Mayor: I-I won't go back. I don't care about Halloween anymore…

Jade: Are you feeling liable for the fact that the preparations aren't going as planned?

Jade: There's no need for you to fret over this, Mr. Mayor. Please, stand up.

Malleus: Indeed. Just as Leech said, this Halloween has many new aspects for the citizens of this town.

Malleus: It would be no surprise that everyone is confused.

Mayor: You two…

Jade: In addition, the folks of this town tend to hide themselves away in difficult to find places.

Jade: If we were to search for them on our own, it would be monumentally difficult. However, you were able to successfully find your way to every resident.

Jade: That is something that cannot be done without interacting with them on a daily basis. You are a fantastic mayor.

Jade: Please, give us your strength. If we were to make our rounds around the town just by ourselves, we would definitely not meet the deadline.

Mayor: U-Urgh… If you say it like that…

[Mayor's face changes to glad]

Mayor: Uweeeeeh!! Thank you guyssss～～～!! I'll give it my best shot once more!

Jade: I'm pleased you're feeling up to the task again.

Jade: This Halloween is wondrous only because you are a part of it.

Malleus: However, it would be a rather large burden on the mayor to continue to reach out to each towns member individually as we have been doing.

Malleus: Should we not work out a different plan of attack?

Jade: Actually, I did think of a different method to go about things as we were doing our rounds… Would you be willing to listen to my proposal?

Mayor: Of course, let me hear it!

Jade: Now then, I shall explain. First, we should make it so that everyone can see the lists of tasks at any moment.

Jade: Presently, there is a document that lists out what each person should do, but it is only in the hands of Mr. Mayor, here.

Jade: Each of the townsfolk are then given their tasks verbally.

Jade: Then, depending on the memory of each person, the tasks could become inconsistent with what was originally assigned.

Malleus: I see. It does seem to be as you say, Leech.

Mayor: Eh, eh? I-I don't really understand… What do you mean?

Jade: Ah, my apologies. That may have been a little bit of a roundabout explanation. In conclusion…

Jade: What if we were to write down each person's roles and instructions and hand it out to everyone?

Jade: This way, all we would need to do is gather everyone in one place and hand it out. This would save us the trouble of visiting each person individually.

Mayor: But it might take a while to get all the paper ready to hand out to everyone, so maybe we should keep going like we've been doing…

Jade: If you are speaking of how to disseminate the instructions, please, don't fret. Mr. Mayor, may I please see your administrative tablet?

Mayor: Y-Yeah, here you go.

Jade: I'll do this here, then like this… Finally, this needs to be cut up to hand out… There.

Jade: I've finished.

Mayor: EH, ALREADY!?

Malleus: That was skillfully quick.

Jade: Fufu, I find myself tasked with such duties often, so I'm quite used to it.

Mayor: TH-THIS IS AMAZING, JADE-KUN～～～!!

Mayor: We need to call everyone to the Town Hall as quickly as possible! Just wait right here, I'll go grab the car!

Mayor: Town meeting! It's a town meeting!

Jade: We'll be holding a town meeting now. Everyone, please come to the town hall!

Jade: Fufu… I was hoping I would get to ride this car. How fortunate that the opportunity fell into my lap.

[Halloween Town – Center]

Mayor: Alright, that should be enough announcing. I'll head off to the town hall to give everyone their instructions.

Mayor: So then, to the two of you, I say… Thank you so much!

[Mayor leaves]

Jade: This should decrease the amount of confusion during preparations now.

Malleus: I suppose you're quite satisfied, Leech.

Jade: Well, yes, as we were able to successfully complete the task given to us.

Malleus: I speak not of the task. Of course, I am speaking of how you were able to draw out the Mayor's "hidden face" just with some cleverly spoken words.

Jade: Ah… I suppose it's no surprise that you noticed.

Jade: And yet, despite that, you did not stop me… I'm sure you were having your own fun as well, Malleus-san.

Malleus: Well, who could say?

Jade: Heh… At any rate, Halloween Town is truly an enjoyable place.

Jade: Whatever could happen next…? I find myself giddy with anticipation, as I cannot possibly predict anything.

Requested by @thelonepearl.

[unholybacon355]

Late Present

Nayeon x Male Reader

Words Count: 6.3k

A/N: Hope you enjoy reading this because I had a great time writing it. Originally this was supposed to be not longer than 2k words (Even shorter if I could) but the most I wrote the most I wanted to add things, and at the end the result is this.

Again. Hope you have fun and enjoy reading this.

That day after dinner you had received a message from your girlfriend. In it she said that she had left you a video in a shared folder in the cloud, but that you couldn't open it until you were completely alone. Well, now it was already night and you were lying in your room. That qualified as being completely alone. Although of course, you were still at your parents' house so you would have to use headphones to watch the video on your laptop.

It was the second week of January and you were visiting your parents' house, in the town where you had grown up. Now lying in your childhood bed you placed the computer on your lap and opened the video. A shot of the bathroom in the apartment you shared with your girlfriend instantly appeared on your screen. It wasn't a very big place but at least it had a bathtub, and that was exactly what you were looking at.

The video showed a shot of the bathtub filled with water about half full and some candles placed on the shelves of the walls. For now there was no sign of your girlfriend or anyone or anything else. After something like a minute you heard noise coming from outside the shot, and after a few more seconds your girlfriend appeared on the scene while smiling at the camera and making a greeting gesture with her hand. She sat on the edge of the bathtub. wearing a white coat, and at first glance nothing more than two adorable pink bows in her blonde hair, which made it fall into two pigtails, one on each side of her face. The robe, on the other hand, only partially showed her legs, from the knees down.

“Hi babe. I hope you're having a good time at your parents' house. I... Well, I wanted to give you one last Christmas gift. I know it's been weeks but as you know I was very busy and didn't have time to do it before.” Nayeon smiled at the camera as if apologizing for the delay. “Anyway, it's better that you receive it now that we're not together, so you'll miss me even more.” With a small giggle she stood up and slipping her robe off her shoulders let it fall to the floor, where it piled up next to her feet. Nayeon was obviously completely naked under the robe, which now made for an interesting contrast to her hair decorations.

Quickly understanding where this was going, you paused the video and got up to lock the door and turn off the light in the room. You lay down again with the laptop on your stomach, but this time you undress completely before returning to bed. You were ready to enjoy your girlfriend's gift without interruptions, so you pressed play once again.

Nayeon instantly turned around, showing her full body in front of the camera, and still with that smile on her face, she asked. “Oppa, do you like what you see?” Oppa. She always drove you crazy when she used that word, because she only used it in private. It was like something secret for the two of you. On the other hand of course you liked what you saw. Nayeon's smooth skin completely exposed to you, her small but firm breasts crowned with those beautiful light brown nipples, her delicious ass, or even her hands and feet. Everything about your girlfriend drove you crazy, obviously so did the place where her legs met, that magnificent place of pleasure with silky lips and a small mop of hair that Nayeon liked to keep to frame the beauty of her crotch.

The mere sight of your naked girlfriend was enough to make you hard instantly. You took the liberty of starting to caress yourself very slowly while she leaned down to light one by one the candles that she had placed before. Then your girlfriend left the frame and you saw how the light went out. When Nayeon re-entered the shot, her skin shone with the yellowish glow of the candlelight. There were several of them, and they were placed strategically, so you could actually still see quite well. That is if now interesting shadows were created here and there, making the contrast help to better highlight Nayeon's curves, which made your cock throb in your hand.

Your girlfriend got into the bathtub and sat inside facing the camera. The water covered her up to the height of her ribs, and as a result of the reflection of the candles you could hardly see what was below. “I hope you enjoy my gift.” Nayeon shyly bit her lower lip before leaning back against the wall of the tub and starting to play with her breasts.

At first it was just gentle touches and caresses on her nipples, but soon she began to get a little more daring and use her fingers to play and press her delicate pleasure buttons. You heard a small moan through your headphones, and that made you start moving the hand that was stroking your cock a little faster. But just a little faster, you didn't want to rush things because you imagined that wouldn't be all.

Soon more moans began to leave Nayeon's mouth, as she became more energetic with the caresses of her nipples. “Love, I miss your mouth on my tits so much. It always made me so wet when you suck my nipples." Your cock throbbed at the memory of her hard nipples in your mouth.

Now your girlfriend lowered her hand to caress her belly and put it under the water, which could only mean that she was taking care of the most sensitive part of her. New and louder moans confirmed your suspicions. While one hand rolled one of her nipples, the other created small waves on the surface of the water, which further distorted her vision. It was clear that Nayeon was enjoying the moment, as she had now tilted her head back so you could only partially see her face, but you knew from firsthand experience that her cheeks had turned red, and that her mouth was hanging open in a silent moan.

Now the only sound you heard was the water crashing against the edges of the bathtub, and Nayeon's heavy breathing. But you could see how her arm moved, and how her hand completely took one of her breasts to give it gentle squeezes, before releasing it and going back to playing with just the nipple. You had to admit that the shadow that the candles created on your girlfriend's tits made them look even more appetizing, and also made you salivate.

Just as you were going to start properly masturbating, Nayeon stopped her movements, sitting up straight again and removing her hand from the water. In fact, you could see how her cheeks were red, but what she did next didn't give you time to appreciate the pretty blush on her skin. Well, as you had seen many times, she put her hand on her mouth to clean her own juices from her fingers. Nayeone sucked her digits as if they were a cock, making eye contact with the camera and opening her mouth so you could see how her tongue ran over every curve of her fingers, collecting the precious nectar.

“Fuck, I'm so delicious.” Nayeon exclaimed when her fingers were clean. The taste of her nectar was something you knew quite well, so you could confirm that it really was delicious. You loved drinking it straight from her crotch, eating her until she came in your mouth while she held you in position by wrapping her legs around your head. And she loved sucking your cock when it was soaked with her own juices, because above all things Im Nayeon greatly enjoyed herself during sex.

You knew that behind this loving gesture of recording a video so that you could touch yourself thinking about her, there was also the fact that Nayeon loved the attention. She loved being the center of attention and being told how beautiful she was, because she knew she was, but that didn't mean she was going to be unfaithful to you. Each and every time she had rejected the people who made advances to her, because she loved you and only you. Nayeon needed the eyes of the world on her, but she only had eyes for you. Which made you a pretty lucky person, because to be honest your girlfriend was way above your league.

“Have you enjoyed it so far?” Of course you were enjoying it, your hard cock was enough proof of that. "I hope so. But don't despair because the best comes now.” Nayeon blew a kiss to the camera before getting down on her knees, once again revealing her lower body, then she turned around and leaned over to show you her butt. “Do you see well?” She asked as if you would be able to answer her, but you were grateful for the gesture of her keeping the conversation alive at a time like this. Then with a giggle she used one of her hands to grab one butt cheek and stretch it a little, letting you see a metallic sheen where her anus should have been.

“Damn naughty girl.” You exclaimed involuntarily, at the revelation that Nyeon had had a plug in her butt this entire time. You smiled wondering why you hadn't seen it coming, especially when you knew your girlfriend really liked those types of toys. Nayeon had a wide variety of them, and she liked to use them whenever she could. For your part, in the most diverse situations you liked to put your hand in her pants or under her skirt, to check if she was wearing one of them. For example, you knew that she loved going to the nearest store with a plug plugged into her butt, or going for short walks in the park carrying her favorite plug.

“Mmnnghh Oppaaaaaaa… I miss you. I want your hand to be the one that holds my buttock. Or would you rather spank me because I've been a bad girl?” She then released her buttock to hit him with her hand, which was accompanied by a small moan. The thing was, you weren't sure if she deserved a punishment for being a bad girl, or instead she deserved a gift for being like that. In any case, you would have to deal with that dilemma later because right now you were more busy watching how your girlfriend opened her butt again with one hand and with the other began to play with the plug that she had plugged in.

Small moans from Nayeon let you know that she was really enjoying the little tugs she gave the toy. She held it tightly by the base with the tips of her fingers, and pulled on it until the widest part threatened to come out of her rectum, then she let go and the toy entered her ass again on its own. You were well aware that your girlfriend loved that, because on many occasions it had been your hand that had been pulling on the toy, while Nayeon dissolved into moans lying on your lap. But right now she was kneeling in the middle of the bathtub, spreading her butt and pleasuring herself. And you were hundreds of miles from that bathtub, masturbating to the delicious moans and the beautiful view of what your girlfriend was doing.

You had already reached a fairly pleasurable rhythm as you moved your hand up and down on your member. Speeding up when Nayeon moaned more or said something dirty, and slowing down when she stopped moving to give her butt a rest. More spanking made you increase the pace of your hand again, which in turn made your precum come out and bathe your entire glans with that natural lubricant. You let out a small moan, more like a sigh than anything else, but you still had to stop to deal with how much Nayeon's gift was turning you on, because you had to remember that you were still at your parents' house. It was already late at night, but you didn't want anyone to hear you masturbating to a home movie of your girlfriend anyway.

You bit your lower lip to suppress more sounds as you moved your hand again with considerable speed, as Nayeon was moaning pleasantly. She suddenly pulled harder on the toy and this time pulled it out completely, making a sucking noise as it left her rectum and leaving her anus open. The glowing light of the candles allowed you to see how Nayeon's anus slowly closed in a rather obscene way. At that moment you would have done anything to put your fingers there, or to rim that beautiful opening with your tongue. And as if her thoughts were connected, Nayeon put the fingers that had previously been in her vagina back into her mouth, and she sucked them, covering them with saliva. Then she put her middle and ring fingers into her own rectum, taking advantage of the saliva and all the foreplay.

“Babe… I miss your big dick stretching my little asshole so much.” Your girlfriend's words came to you fully charger of sensuality and sincerity as you watched how she played with her fingers, putting them in and out of her anus completely. "I miss you. Fill me again with your hot milk.” In an act that seemed incredible and fascinating to you, Nayeon said those words with a pout. Only she could do something so innocent in the middle of an act as obscene as recording herself masturbating through her ass, and still look adorable. One more example of how incredible your girlfriend was.

By God, that duality drove you crazy. Your cock almost exploded at the sight of that tender gesture on her face, remembering the many times you had come all over Nayeon's face while she made that same pout. Because if there were other things your girlfriend loved besides being the center of attention and having a plug plugged into her ass—aside from you, obviously—that was you ending up in her face. Nayeon loved feeling how the thick ropes of your semen hit her face and ran down her perfect features. All to end up cleaning herself with her tongue, and sometimes sharing a kiss with you. After all, if she had received your cum on her face so lovingly, the least you could do was kiss her.

Your cock throbbed again as you watched Nayeon insert a third finger into her anus and leave it inside her for a few seconds. "I miss you so much. My ass feels so lonely without you inside.” She removed her fingers from her and shook her butt from side to side, showing off her rectum that once again remained open for a few seconds, as if inviting you to fuck her. Of course you couldn't because it was a video, but you would have liked nothing more at that moment than to be in that bathtub with your girlfriend having a good time.

Now Nayeon took from behind some shampoo bottles an object unknown to you, which she had clearly prepared previously, along with a little bottle of what was clearly lubricant. The object in question was similar to a plug, except for the fact that it had a fairly wide hole in the center. Apparently it was made of glass, or some similar material, as it was completely transparent. After all, it was like a glass tube at least two inches in diameter and four in length, with fins on one end to prevent it from being inserted completely or to be able to grab it.

Your girlfriend put the toy in her mouth and, with her elbows resting on the edge of the tub, she looked back at you with that cute but naughty face. The face she used when she was planning some mischief. All this while she was shaking her butt again. At this point it was clear where that toy was going to end up.

“Now the good stuff begins.” Nayeon took the toy and coated it well with lube, before placing it on her butt where it entered with almost no effort on your girlfriend's part. Her entrance was already quite dilated by the plug and fingers. A not at all suppressed moan told you how pleasurable this was for Nayeon, it was a shame that she couldn't know how much you were enjoying it too.

Now the light of the candles allowed you to see the glazed shine of the object plugged into Nayeon's back entrance, and in an almost perverse way it also allowed you to see the inside of your girlfriend. Somehow despite not being so close to the camera, and only illuminated by the glowing flames of the candles, the transparency and action of the toy made it possible for you to see the inside of your girlfriend's rectum. The obscene and exciting game that your girlfriend was playing left you speechless, this was perhaps the dirtiest thing you had ever seen her do. Well, except maybe for that time in the elevator at that mall.

“Isn't it a beautiful sight?” Nayeon shook her butt again, but this time it was a thousand times more obscene and provocative because of the new toy. That exciting scene was taking you to a new level of pleasure, so much so that you had to slow down the pace at which you masturbated because you didn't want to finish before watching the video completely. Now you move your hand slowly, but applying more pressure with your fingers on your cock, giving deep pumps to the very base of your member.

“But I bet you want to see something even better. Want?" Again that tender tone that highlighted the duality of the moment and drove you so crazy. A wide smile that showed off your girlfriend's bunny teeth, and even her gums, followed that innocent-seeming question. Nayeon then took one of the shampoo bottles, and presented it to the camera, standing it on the palm of her hand, as if this were all a commercial. A very obscene and twisted one. Only at this point did you realize that what your girlfriend was holding was not a bottle of shampoo at all.

The object in question was neither more nor less than a bottle of lubricant, but not just any one. No, it was a one liter bottle of a type of lubricant that you had wanted to try for a while, but every time you tried to buy it was sold out. What made it special was that it imitated semen, at least in its texture and viscosity. So you could say that Nayeon was holding a one-liter bottle of fake semen in her hands.

“I bought it online last month along with the toy. I asked Momo if she could use her address so you wouldn't suspect anything.” Without losing that adorable smile, and with an expression of pride on her face, she let out a small giggle. “We should try it together next time.” Was that shame what you were seeing on Nayeon's face? It was almost impossible to believe that your girlfriend blushed at that proposal, when she was literally recording a porn video in which you could see the inside of her guts. She bit the tip of her index finger before blowing a quick kiss to the camera and turning so you wouldn't see the red on her cheeks, but it was too late for that. It almost made you feel bad that you were masturbating right now, but the duality of the video made you keep pumping.

Regaining her composure, Nayeon uncorked the bottle and, holding her ass up as much as she could, poured a generous amount onto her ass. The viscous whitish liquid landed at the height of her tailbone and began to slowly drip downwards. Soon you almost had a heart attack, because you were watching the fake semen being spilled by gravity into your girlfriend's ass. You had a prime view of Nayeon's gaping anus being filled with lube.

A gasp that wasn't for excitation caught your attention. “It's cold, but feels so good.” So what had caused your girlfriend to gasp was the difference in temperature between the fluid and her insides. You found it funny, but you didn't have time to laugh because now Nayeon was pushing the rest of the lubricant in with her fingers, so that it too would enter her. Immediately afterwards she again poured a generous amount onto her butt. “I wish it could be your milk that fills me. Oppaaaa, I want to feel how you overflow my insides with your semen.”

God, it kept driving you crazy how she kept saying those obscenities in such an innocent voice. The funny thing was that Nayeon wasn't doing it just to provoke, it was something she really couldn't control. She had even been scolded at work for treating a client with that same voice. Of course, there was no tone of voice that could make it seem tender as Nayeon put more lubricant through the toy, to the point that it seemed like she couldn't get more inside her.

The fake semen, in a fact you thought impossible, had filled the toy to the brim. So if Nayeon moved her butt roughly, some drops would fall directly onto the bath water. Apparently putting as much lubricant as possible inside her was the ultimate goal of having used that toy, because now your girlfriend was removing it, leaving only the liquid in its place. You again saw how Nayeo’s anus closed, this time even slower than the last, leaving the fake semen trapped inside her.

Once again, showing off her obscenity, Nayeon put the toy in her mouth and sucked it as if it were a lollipop. She even managed to stick her tongue inside the toy’s hole and pick up some of the lube. “God, I'm delicious. Now I understand why you love to eat my ass.” Your ever-so-modest girlfriend put the now completely clean toy to the side and leaned over the edge of the tub again. Her position lifted and she naturally spread her butt cheeks a little, offering you once again that perfect view of her puckered rear entrance. By flexing the muscles around it a little, Nayeon managed to make a small amount of lubricant come out of her, which slid down the edge of her buttock and thigh.

The next thing your girlfriend did was move her butt up and down, in the best twerk she could do in that position, moaning with the movement as the liquid stirred inside her and excited her even more. “Nngghhh!! Hooneeey, I'm so full. Just thinking that it could be your cum moving inside my guts makes my pussy drip.” She used the hand that hadn't touched the lube to separate the folds from her delicate vulva, as if she were offering herself to you, and then with those same fingers she drew circles over her soaked pussy. “It feels good… But I miss having you inside me. I want to put your cock in my mouth so bad.”

Then Nayeon opened her mouth and stuck her tongue out as far as she could, putting on the same expression she did when she gave you a head. With her free hand she imitates the movement she normally makes when masturbating you, moving her hand back and forth in front of her mouth. Making the whole show like when she gave you one of those delicious blowjobs that only she knew how to give, and you liked to receive. It's not like you had much experience in that regard, you had only had relationships (Don't even dare call that sex, because that was going too far) with a couple of people before Nayeon but your girlfriend had adapted so well to what you liked that it was impossible for anyone to know you better than her. Once again, you thought, irrefutable proof that your girlfriend was in a league completely above yours. You were grateful that she decided to be with you in the only way you could at that moment, jerking your cock frantically at the sight of Nayeon giving an impeccable blowjob to the open air. How lucky the air was too.

Fresh moans from Nayeon were what brought you out of your reverie and brought you back to reality, where your girlfriend had decided that she had had enough of teasing herself and had inserted two fingers inside her pussy. She had her knees as far apart as the narrow space inside the tub would allow, while her fingers moved in and out at a pace almost as frenetic as your own hand moved. It was as if despite the physical and temporal distance you were still connected, like in one of those ancient legends. Except this time the red thread seemed to connect your cock to her clit, something almost poetic.

Moans and the faint sound of small waves crashing against the walls of the tub were all you could hear now. Your girlfriend alternated between fucking herself with her fingers, and taking them out to rub her needy pussy before putting them back in again. Soon a third finger joined the party, doing the job that right now you were too far away to do. While the hand between her legs fucked her own pussy, Nayeon moved her other hand to her butt. Where a mischievous finger began to trace circles on the wrinkled entrance.

Your heart skipped a beat because you knew what was coming next, Nayeon was going to fuck herself in both holes at the same time. You were aware of how much she liked that too, which is why you had often proposed to have a threesome, but she always rejected it. It was incredible how your girlfriend always refused your offer, not because she didn't like the idea of the threesome itself, but because she didn't accept that someone else could enjoy the enormous pleasure of fucking her. Although it was obvious that you weren't her first partner (she should have learned all those things somewhere) Nayeon's love and attachment to you surpassed any obscenity she could think of. So your only companions when making love to your girlfriend were the many (Many) toys you had, and your own fingers. In some ways, especially when it came to sex, that love was kind of sick, but it worked pretty well for the two of you. Other than that you were a rather loving and somewhat clingy couple, sometimes even sharing tight hugs in public. But not as tight as the finger Nayeon had just shoved up her ass.

Well, to be honest that finger couldn't be that tight considering all the foreplay, and since just a few moments ago it had been inside that same hole accompanied by two other fingers. The fact is that now Nayeon was the fullest she had been that night, with three fingers in her pussy, along with her ass overflowing with fake cum and a naughty finger inside. Clearly that wasn't going to be enough to make her cum if she had gone to all that trouble to prepare her ass like that, so you weren't surprised to see how a second finger passed smoothly through Nayeon's anus.

A new sound joined the melody as Nayeon abruptly withdrew her fingers from her pussy, making a sucking noise like a loud POP! that echoed throughout the room. But that wasn't the only new sound, no, because now those fingers had entered your girlfriend's mouth. So the moans were now muffled and interspersed with sucking noises as Nayeon hungrily sucked on her own fingers. She would take them out and put them back in up to her knuckles, and then take them out again. She would occasionally separate them and swirl her tongue around them to clean them as well.

“The taste is almost as delicious as your semen.” A small giggle made your girlfriend look shy once again in the middle of that obscene scene, but she quickly regained her composure and put her fingers back into her pussy because she had already cleaned all the sweet nectar that covered them, and it was time to collect more. The other hand now also had three fingers inside her, fucking her anus in sync with the one she has in her vagina. When one of her inserted her fingers the other withdrew, always maintaining the rhythm and one of her two holes completely stretched out. The process also caused more and more lubricant to drip from her anus, so by this point her luscious thighs were all stained with fake semen. You didn't understand how liquid didn't stop coming out of her, Nayeon had really filled herself to the brim.

After a few minutes of pleasuring herself, the rhythm of Nayeon's fingers became more erratic. So now she sometimes put her fingers completely in her pussy and completely took out the ones she had in her ass, separating them as they came out to maximize the pleasure . Since she no longer had her mouth occupied, she was able to moan with lust once again.

“Babe, I'm sooooo close.” She drawled as she shoved her fingers into her ass, and used her other hand to draw circles on her clit. “Am I allowed to cum? I’ve been a good girl.” She looked directly at the camera, biting her lower lip in a sexy way, but using her eyes to once again put on that tender expression. Creating that duality in her face that she knew drove you crazy. "I think I deserve it." She said again with that tone that was trying to sound childish and mischievous at the same time.

Since you clearly couldn't respond to that, what Nayeon did instead of waiting for your approval was to massage her clit harder and spread the fingers in her ass as far as possible. It was so evident that she was close to her climax because now all her weight was resting on her chest leaning on the bathtub, and on her knees because her excitement had made her lift her feet and make them emerge from the under water. Where they had been hiding all this time.

Of course you loved Nayeon's feet too. You loved kissing them, licking them, painting her nails, and also fucking her feet and cumming all over her perfect toes. So the sight of her fingers curled in arousal, framing how she massaged her clit and stretched her dripping anus was what finally brought you to the point of no return. With a moan that you could not suppress, you discharged all your semen in powerful jets that gushed from your tip, and even flew over your laptop, landing on your chest. Your hand, which you had tried to prevent that from happening, was filled with your thick cum. Which trickled back over your cock, making you wonder if this was what it would feel like to be inside Nayeon's butt right now.

With your breathing still heavy, you focused again on the video, where your girlfriend was still masturbating, but so erratically and spasmodically that it was evident that she wasn't going to last much longer. You would have been able to see her sensitive pussy dripping with that delicious nectar, if it hadn't been for all that lubricant that was dripping from her ass and soaking your girlfriend's folds. Now the outside of her vagina was completely covered by the slippery liquid, making it look white.

What was also covered, but by a different substance, was your girlfriend's back. The light from the candles reflected on a hundred beads of sweat that had begun to appear on her, making it look as if her skin were covered in a bunch of pearls. That pearly shine made her look so damn beautiful, that this time it was your heart what you felt pumping instead of your cock.

With a single moan, the loudest you had heard from her so far, and in the midst of new and reinforced spasms, you witnessed Nayeon reach her climax. Her orgasm was much longer lasting than yours, making her legs and lower torso tremble. Her fingers on her butt slipped completely out, splashing lubricant out of the tub. Now her hand on her vulva had remained still, covering it completely, as if trying to contain the throbbing in her lips, while her toes were curled so much that they threatened to dig into her soles. It was clearly the strongest and most pleasurable orgasm you had ever seen your girlfriend have.

After a long minute where your girlfriend did not stop involuntarily moving some of her muscles, as a result of her pleasurable orgasm, you could see how she slowly moved the hand she had holding her vagina again. Now Nayeon was patting her lips, as if trying to calm herself, while she slowly lowered her feet back to the bottom of the bathtub.

Panting like she had just finished running a marathon, and with small spasms still running through her lower half, you watched her place her arms crossed over the edge of the bathtub and rest her head on them. The same way she did when she was napping, except this time what she wanted to do was expose her butt to the camera. You could see how her anus was still closing when she did that. She said nothing because probably still was out of breath to speak, so you had no idea what she had in mind right now.

To your surprise, for the umpteenth time that pleasurable night, what Nayeon did was push with the muscles of her rectum to make what was left of the lubricant come out of her. Slowly a thread of viscous liquid began to flow out, which became thicker as the seconds passed. Now the fake semen was not only soaking her ass and vagina, but it had also completely covered your girlfriend's meaty thighs. The scene itself was so obscene, but what topped it off was when there was almost no lube left inside Nayeon. That's when her butt started making farting noises because of the lube and how open her anus was still.

That sound made your cock so hard again in an instant, that you were sure you could use it to hit diamonds and break them. Your hand was still full of your own cum, so you used it as a sort of natural lubricant to pump your aching cock again. You weren't masturbating frantically like you did before, instead you were just stroking your shaf at a slow pace, greatly enjoying each of the movements of your hand.

Apparently the sonata of your girlfriend's butt had stopped, because now you only heard her breathing, still somewhat agitated. It had really been a very good orgasm for her, and certainly for you too. Nayeon then turned to face the camera, but she still remained kneeling in the middle of the bathtub. It made you a little sad not to be able to continue seeing her butt, which although it wasn't big had a wonderful shape. Plus her small buttocks were the perfect size to fit in your hands. As compensation you got a perfect view of her sweat-soaked chest, where her breasts rose and fell in a rhythmic way as a result of her breathing. In addition to being able to see, now from the front, her soaked pussy, that was still dripping lubricant as if it were your semen after having finished inside your girlfriend.

With a wide smile on her face, Nayeon washed her hands in the same water from the bathtub, water that had now turned white due to all the lubricant spilled in it. When she decided that her hands were clean she looked at the camera, and you could see her eyes shining. “Did you enjoy it?” She asked with that tender and loving voice that characterized her so much, while she played with one of her pigtails. A small giggle accompanied the question. “I bet you enjoyed it as much as I did. ”You didn't know if you had enjoyed it as much as she did, since her orgasm was much more violent than yours, but you were sure that your level of pleasure had been very high.

“Next time I want to have you playing with my butt… It's going to be so much fun.” The really funny thing here was how Nayeon had regained that shyness that some people hated because they thought she was fake, but you knew she was sincere. Your girlfriend used both hands to play with her ponytail as she looked away from you, as if she was embarrassed to admit that she wanted you to fuck her ass. As if she herself had not been minutes ago doing something much dirtier and obscene. Your girlfriend was quite a case.

"I love you baby. I hope to see you soon, I really miss you.” She puffed out her cheeks for a second in a brief pout. “Let me know if you liked my gift.” Then, she blew you a kiss and stretching out one of her hands, you saw how she turned off the camera, ending the video.

“What a great Christmas present”, you thought to yourself. Now you feel like you should reward Nayeon for this, and also buy Momo a nice gift for helping her hiding the things. “Definitely the best gift this Christmas”, you decided as you postponed getting out of bed because you definitely needed a shower. After all, your hand, cock, and chest were still covered in your own cum.

[spacequokka]

With a Note (I Meant It)

Pairing: Mingi x Reader Genre: f2l, second chance Rating: PG Summary: You run into an old friend on your way back home. Word Count: 1.2k Warnings: mentions of underage drinking (wine coolers, which is a no-no)

A/N: Last one for the event! I tried to make the song harder to guess. Thanks for reading and happy holidays! <3

"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. This is a flight delay announcement for flight 118 to Seoul. We regret to inform you that due to the weather, we're expecting a delay of approximately eight hours. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause and we appreciate your patience and understanding…"

You stopped listening as the other passengers seated around you groaned and complained. It was Christmas Eve, and after the flight being delayed for the third time, you were at the stage of acceptance. Maybe you should've booked the flight months in advance instead of last minute. Or chose a different company. Honestly, it wouldn't have mattered much since it'd snow no matter what and the likelihood of being stranded at the airport was a given.

Eight hours.

The terminal was buzzing with families reuniting and friends celebrating, while you sat alone nursing a cup of lukewarm coffee. You were contemplating buying overpriced fast food when you heard your name. You turned your head and gaped when you saw the man's face.

"Mingi?"

"It is you!" He took the seat across from you. "I thought I saw you earlier, but I figured my glasses were smudged up or something." He licked his lips and took a breath. "Are you heading to Seoul too?"

You nodded. "I really thought I'd avoid being stuck here all night."

He smiled bashfully. "I was supposed to catch an earlier flight but got held up with work. My mom's gonna strangle me when—no, if—I get there. She kept telling me to fly out before the snowstorm hit."

"At least someone had some sense. I didn't really give it much thought when I bought the ticket." You pushed your cup around on the table.

Mingi stretched his long legs out, accidentally brushing against yours. Mischief sparkled in those warm brown eyes as he pulled out his cell phone and a bag of chips. The last time you'd seen him had been your high school graduation when things got weird and you both drifted apart. It was weird seeing him now, acting as if he didn't avoid you that summer before going off to college. Did he not remember?

"Want some?" He held out a bag of honey butter chips, his silver rings catching the fluorescent light.

What kind of mind game was he playing? "Thanks." You reached for the bag, your fingers brushing accidentally. Just like old times, except nothing was like old times anymore.

You munched on the chips quietly as people filled and left the terminal, coming to see that their flights had also been canceled, then going off to find food or a place to stay for the night.

"I wonder if it'd be better to get a hotel room." He mused aloud.

You shook your head. "There's a convention going on. Every place is fully booked through to New Year's. Anything you find will be far out and you might not make it back here in time for your flight. Then your mom'll kill you for sure."

He barked out a laugh. "You're right." He fiddled with his phone, turning it over and over before asking suddenly, "Remember when we used to stay up until three in the morning? You'd always fall asleep on the phone and I'd have to wake you up so you'd put your phone on the charger."

You smiled despite yourself. "You weren't much better. You'd fall asleep mid-sentence, then insist you weren't snoring."

"Yeah, but I had a good reason. I didn't want to hang up." His voice got softer, more serious. "I wrote you a letter senior year."

Your heart stopped. "What?"

He nodded. "I wanted to give it to you that morning before the graduation ceremony, but I thought it might ruin what should be a happy day for you." He ran a hand over his white beanie and tugged at it. "So, I slipped it in your purse at Wooyoung's party that night. Blue envelope. You never said anything so I guess…I guess you never found it?"

The memory hit you like a thunderbolt—getting home slightly buzzed from wine coolers, digging through your purse, finding a blue envelope with smeared ink illegible in the dim light of your bedside lamp. You'd thrown it away without a second thought,anything, then passed out the second you touched your bed.

"Mingi, I—"

"It's okay," he cut in quickly. "It was a long time ago." He adjusted his glasses. "But being stuck here with you…maybe it's a sign or something." He laughed, but it sounded shaky. "Wanna hear what it said?"

The airport speakers crackled with another delay announcement, but you barely heard it. In that moment, it was just the two of you—Mingi with his gentle smile and nervous hands, you and your heart doing backflips in your chest.

"Tell me," you whispered.

He took a deep breath. "Why is everything so effortless with you? Smiling, laughing, being happy. You're the first thought in the morning and the last one when I fall asleep. I know our plans for life are taking us in different directions, but I want you to know that I'll think of you constantly. Is that love? If so, I love you more than I can express. One day, if you'll let me, I hope to stay by your side not as a friend but as someone you love in return." He looked you in the eyes. "When you didn't call or even text me, I figured you read it, but didn't feel the same. I was a little dumb back then. Avoiding you so you wouldn't have to let me down easy. Then sometime during my sophomore year in college I realized I'd rather you tell me you didn't feel the same over never knowing how you felt about me…Then Yunho asked me if I was sure you'd read it." His expression turned to embarrassment. "So I asked around if you'd said anything about a letter to anyone and no one could recall you talking about it."

"I was a mess when I got home that night! I couldn't read the words on it and threw it away. By the time I woke up, I forgot all about it. I'm so sorry!"

He nodded with a chuckle. "That's way better than what I imagined." He reached out and touched your hand. "It's okay, though. Really. And I'm sorry for letting us drift apart without telling you why. Feels like I wasted a lot of time, like I missed out on a lot of important moments in your life."

Melancholy wasn't a word you'd ever associated with Mingi and you weren't going to start doing it now. You squeezed his hand. "Then we'll make sure you don't miss anything else from now on. Okay?" You pushed away from the table and stood up. "Come on, I need to get you a Christmas present."

[lsunstreakerl]

Cat!Max and dark!Charles when someone tries to take Max away and he goes absolutely feral.

Charles just holding up Max by his armpits as Max is covered in blood like “oh who’s my special boy!!! Who’s the prettiest and best boy!!!”

Pierre looking on in horror as Esteban gently tugs on his arm.

feral max. love that for him. 670 words, charles POV.

don't ask me what verse this is in, we're at like, an AU of an AU of an AU. I'm not keeping track anymore.

violence! catboy violence, but still violence.

"Charles!"

Charles looks up from from his interview, and he's already pissed- their qualifying was not great, and he's having to play nice for cameras, so to be interrupted on top of all of that- he's not thrilled.

It's an FIA worker, frantic at the side of the press pen. They're going to cause a commotion- although they've already made one, so Charles murmurs his apologies to Sky Sports with a smile he doesn't mean, and quickly makes his way over.

"What?"

He hisses it out quietly, but the worker is already backing away.

"It's- you need to be back at the garage, sorry, it's your cat-"

Charles is already moving. Max is perfectly well behaved out in public- Charles would know, he trained him- so for there to be a problem...

Something has happened.

He breaks into a jog as he gets closer to the garage, and he can hear shouting- English and Italian. Security is there, trying to break up some kind of scuffle on the floor.

There's red smeared across the concrete.

Fred turns as Charles gets closer.

"Charles! Tell him to let go!"

Charles frowns, because he can't see, but he raises his voice.

"Max! Lascialo!"

There must be some change in the middle of the pile, because security lunges forward, pulling it apart.

Charles sees a man being dragged out- unfamiliar to him- with blood dripping from his throat, eyes wide and panicking.

That's not what Charles is concerned about.

There's a loud hiss a few feet away, and Charles is moving, shoving people aside.

"Move! Max, come here."

Immediately there's a blonde and red blur, and then a heavy weight slamming into Charles' chest, Max shoving his head under Charles' jaw. He's shaking, but he's rattling out a weak purr.

Charles sees red.

"What the fuck happened? Someone needs to start talking, now."

One of his mechanics steps forward- a man Charles trusts.

"We didn't realize- he came up in the high-vis vest, we thought he was with the FIA- and then he was trying to grab Max, and, uh..."

One of the other mechanics pipes up.

"He tried to scruff Max."

Oh.

Charles gets a grip in Max's hair, pulling his head away from the crook of his neck. Max makes a plaintive noise, but he listens.

There's blood smeared on his lips and teeth, down his chin and neck, splattered droplets on his sweater.

Charles knew he should've gotten him in a collar. The regular one had been delayed in transit, and he'd figured it was probably fine for the one time- what were the odds that someone would try and kidnap Max?

Higher than he thought, apparently.

"Oh, baby."

Max blinks at him. His tail is still moving in agitated flicks, and Charles can see that his fingertips are smeared red as well.

"You did a good job, yes? Didn't let that terrible man take you anywhere, such a good boy."

He drops a kiss onto Max's nose, avoiding the blood. Barely.

Max starts purring, snuggling back into Charles. He's going to have a velcro catboy for the rest of the weekend.

Charles glares at the rest of the garage over the top of Max's head.

"Never let this happen again. Understand? When I leave Max here, it is because I trust him to be looked after. You are lucky he is so fierce, or this would be much worse."

He looks over at Fred.

"I want that man's name and address in my inbox before the end of the day."

Fred nods, and Charles can see the garage dispersing out of the corner of his eye.

Max is still trying to become one with Charles, so he's running his hand down his spine, brings the other to pet gently between his ears.

"I'm done with media for the day- let them speculate."

He kisses the top of Max's hair. His boy smells like coppery blood, but there's the faint scent of the conditioner Charles likes to use- keeps his ears soft.

"And you are getting a bath."

[midnight-mourning]

*Taps mic* Heard y'all like Moon around here, you're in luck, this one's for you

massive, MASSIVE thank you to @lunarmoves for beta-reading this chapter!!

She put a lot of time and effort into making my BS readable for y'all and it's greatly appreciated <3 <3 <3

Shay also makes really good dca stuff (also sebastian solace but I know very little about the fish tbh) and you should check her out!

Also, happy 200k+!!! We're only 297k from truly becoming the 500k enemies to lovers slowburn of our dreams lmaoooo

But for real I apologize for such a delay with this one. If you'd like to hear my excuses/reasoning they're below the cut, or you can just go read the chapter whatever suits ya ^-^

Tag list (if you would like added please see this post for more info):

@scarletcowboy @beemyhuneybee @fishm0ther @deviouscrackers @elsajoyagent8

@luckyyyduckyyy @zenkaiankoku @jogimote @local-shrub @amarynthian-chronicles

@robinette-green @everlightreader @sinister-sincerely @starredeclipse @dangerva

CW: medical stuff & additionally a bit of unreality mentions

Okay going to try and keep this simple bc I've said parts of it before

So as most of you know, I've been sick for 3 months now

I've now been on two rounds of steroids, and currently on my third round of antibiotics, which are basically keep me fucntional, not improving

besides general discomfort and pain, my memory has been pretty shot at times, I will go through the day and barely remember what I did/what I'm doing/what I need to do

as someone who had brain fog caused by covid a few years ago, this was genuinely a scary experience because ultimately, this has been worse

i've felt out of control of my body, having times where I'm mid thought and then instantly lose it

this is not my normal, I usually pride myself on my memory, so losing it has been incredibly devastating and scary

this was not helped by the fact that the quick care I went to (THREE TIMES for this) basically kind of sort of tried to gaslight me into believing nothing could be done and that it's not an infection

so not only has this entire thing has gotten dragged out so much more, which makes me sad tbh, but I've also felt like I've been going crazy bc it felt like no one was believing me when i said I was sick and not getting any better (including friends, family, coworkers etc, though unintentional on their parts to be fair)

I feel like I've lost three months of my life and coming to terms with that has been, yeah

on top of all that, I'm still in school AND doing grad stuff, and while the school side of things has been okay (thank god), grad's had it's moments, won't get into it but have had multiple issues with my advisor that have been at times just really tough to deal with

Confused spirit got pushed to the back burner, because i quite literally at times could not think, and when it comes to this fic, where there's multiple ongoing plot threads, characterizations, lore, and so on to keep track of, it was just, impossible to me to even consider writing for it

having shorter stuff like promptober, the oneshots and such was great to keep me writing, and also still interact with everyone in the community, plus i had a lot of fun with them so that helped too

this is all to say that I do sincerly apologize for the delay, and at the very least I should've clearly communicated about there being a hiatus, when this all started I thought i'd be down for two weeks max, then as that time kept increasing I just kept putting it off and putting it off because i thought i was going to get better, and then I didn't

I do this for fun and for nothing else, fic writing isn't content (it's engaging with fandom) and i have to remind myself of that sometimes but given that I've been around in some capacity on and off I feel I should've said something in some regard

Having said all that, I'm doing okay now! Still sick, but as long as I'm on meds I'm functional, stuff is getting managable with grad, and hopefully have some fun things coming up irl! Point is, the last three months haven't been the best, but they've been alright, due in part to all the support you all have given me, so thank you for that, can't say it enough :)

Okay, I think that just about covers it, thank you for taking the time to read all of this if you did <3

[daytaker]

Chat Log: A Human Child Arrives in the Devildom

Beelzebub: I don’t remember. Beelzebub: I don't remember that either. Mammon: Oi, Beel, what the hell are you saying? Satan: That isn’t Beel. It’s “the new human exchange student”. Mammon: Why are ya sayin’ that in quotes? Satan: You’ll see. Mammon: The hell does that mean?! Beelzebub: I fell. Beelzebub: I fell out a tree and then I was here. Lucifer: Satan, Asmo, Beel. I thought I said to look after the human child. Why is it sending nonsense in the chat? Asmo: It can’t talk, so we’re asking it questions out loud and having it answer like this! Lucifer: Why did you not create a new chat where you could interrogate it without annoying the rest of us? Satan: Convenience. This chat already existed. Mammon: Whoa whoa whoa, did you say human CHILD? Why the hell did you guys recruit a child? Lucifer: We didn’t. Something appears to have gone wrong in the summoning process. Barbatos is attempting to resolve the issue as we speak. Mammon: Is the kid still in the chat? Asmodeus: Yes, Beel loaned it his phone. Mammon: Hey kid, ya like ice cream? Beelzebub: Yes. Mammon: Well, I got a massive chocolate cone for any human kid who’s willing to come hang out around the central plaza for a few hours. Demons’ll pay good money to get a look at a genuine human child.  Mammon: Hey, Asmo, is it cute? Beelzebub: They want me to tell you I'm not going anywhere with you. Asmodeus: Yeah, leave the poor thing alone! It probably misses its parents! Asmodeus: And yes, it’s adorable! ♡ Mammon: Good, folks’ll pay more for that. Leviathan: Whaaaaaat? Sorry, just backread, but wow! You guys isekai’d a BABY to RAD? LOLOLOLOL Beelzebub: I’m not a baby. Lucifer: I apologize for the delay in sending this message. I was occupied with Diavolo and Barbatos. Lucifer: Mammon, if you take that child out in public and it gets eaten, I will flay you alive. Beelzebub: Do demons eat kids? Mammon: Yep. Mammon: They’re pretty freakin’ delicious too. Way better than old people. Mammon: ‘Cause they’re softer. Lucifer: Shut up and listen. Lucifer: Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem as if this issue is going to be resolved as quickly as I had hoped. Lucifer: Mammon, if I leave you in charge of the human until tomorrow, do you think you can keep it alive? Mammon: What? Why me? Ain’t Asmo and Satan there already? Lucifer: I hesitate to entrust a child to either Asmo or Satan for any extended period of time due to certain personality defects each of them possess. Asmodeus: Rude!!! Mammon: What about Beel? Lucifer: Beel would certainly eat it. Mammon: …Yeah, I guess that’s fair. Lucifer: Satan, Asmo, Beel. Please take the human to the school gates and wait for Mammon to retrieve it. In the meantime, Diavolo has graciously offered to lend it the D.D.D. he had prepared for the original transfer student, so stop by the dean’s office to pick it up. Asmodeus: Fine, we're going. Mammon: I really gotta do this, huh? Lucifer: Yes. Mammon: :( Leviathan: LOLOLOLOL!!! This is hilarious! Lucifer: Don't think I've forgotten about you, Levi. I'd like you to prepare a few dishes Barbatos says are in vogue with human children. Leviathan: Wait, are you making me its personal chef? Mammon: Ha! Serves ya right! Leviathan: Shut up, Mammon. Lucifer: Macaroni and cheese. Lucifer: Chicken tenders/nuggets (in the shape of dinosaurs, if possible) Leviathan: Dinosaurs? Lucifer: Apple juice. Lucifer: Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Lucifer: French fries. Lucifer: Cheese pizza. Leviathan: Do I have to make all of this right now? Lucifer: Chocolate chip cookies. Lucifer: Human-world grapes. Leviathan: Am I being trolled right now? Lucifer: Absolutely not. Prepare one dish immediately using whatever ingredients we already own. Lucifer: Human, if you are still here, I would like to extend my deepest apologies on behalf of the Royal Academy of Diavolo for this unfortunate mistake. Lucifer: I hope we are able to resolve this in a timely manner.

[drenosa]

Ironwood: *Preparing for a meeting*

Elm: *Over text* Hey boss. We gonna post-pone the meeting by a bit.

Ironwood: What?! This is highly irregular. What is the meaning of this?

Elm: Horizontes Románticos Pasados is having its season 12 finale.

Ironwood: That does not explain a single thing! And why are you telling me this? Where is Specialist Ebi?

Vine: *Joining the text group* Clover is preparing snacks.

Ironwood: Explain yourselves.

Vine: We'll be learning whether or not Rodrigo is actually the father to one of Isabelle's triplet sons.

Ironwood: Triplet- How does that even work?!

Hariet: *Also joining the text group* Hey that rerun episode is starting it's last segment. Hurry up will you, the rookie's getting antsy you lot ain't here yet.

Ironwood: Seriously, what is going on. Will any of you give an actual explaination?!

Hariet: Right. So Rodrigo was with Isabelle for a bit. But she also hooked up with Alberto and Domingo in the meantime.

Vine: Not to mention, that whole business with Alberto inheriting his mom's body farm. Again.

Ironwood: Wha- How is... How does one inherit a body farm again?

Elm: His mom faked her death the previous season. You got to keep up with the plotlines. Sir.

Ironwood: I'm not keeping up with anything. Why do you people enjoy this? We represent Huntsmen everywhere and the might of the Kingdom of Atlas.

Elm: Yeah. We're supersoldier with Aura and Semblances. We just like to relax to normal people living their lives.

Ironwood: None of this conversation has been normal...

Hariet: Final Ad-break guys, five minutes left. We gotta go now. *Left the group chat*

Elm: Oh shoot. On our way. *Left the group chat*

Vine: We'll be there for the meeting after finale's over. *Left the group chat*

Ironwood: ...

Winter: *Entering Ironwood's office, holding her Scroll as she checks something* Apologies, sir.

Ironwood: It's alright, Winter. But it would seem our meeting with Ace-Ops is getting delayed.

Winter: Ah, so they've already informed you.

Ironwood: Informed me of what?

Winter: That I would be on my way to excuse myself?

Ironwood: No. Not at all that. They were rambling about this... this show?

Winter: Horizontes Románticos Pasados, yes. I'm most excited in how this whole body farm issue will be resolved. Madam Corazon's death was most dramatic this time around.

Ironwood: ...

Winter: ... Sir?

Ironwood: *Heaves a deep sigh* What if she faked her death a second time?

Winter: *Shaken to her core* Brothers, that would change everything! *Just leaves, furiously typing on her scroll*

Ironwood: *Sighing again* Well, if I got some time for myself. *Presses a button on his desk*

TV-Screen: *Lower over a wall to the side, music, sights and sounds begin to play* ~There's 104 days of summer vacation / 'Til school comes along just to end it. So the annual problem for our generation / Is finding a good way to spend it~

Ironwood: *Opening a bag of snacks* Oh, what manner of wild inventions will those silly brothers come up with today.

[leafofkudzu]

Slightly delayed post compared to usual, but hi hello and happy Spring, everyone! I hope the past month has treated you well, because the first Saturday of a new month is coming up real fast, meaning it's time for another art party hosted by my guild, [VS] Verdant Shield!

For those who aren’t familiar with art parties, they’re a concept carried over from Final Fantasy XIV - in-game get-togethers for artists/writers/creatives of all types to hang out, chat, and create together! Get your favorite character/look together, head to the location, find someone that catches your eye, and create! Afterwards, everyone posts their creations in a shared tag (ours is #VSArtParty) so others can see, interact, and share! Tl;dr: the ‘goal’ of an art party isn’t to be drawn, but to draw others, and share with the community!

Time and /squadjoin information is under the cut, but will also be posted again via reblogs as the squads go up on the day of the party!

Location Information:

While scouting out more Ascalon-aligned locations to even out the spread, I remembered this little corner of Fields of Ruin. It houses a grave of one of the characters from the Ghosts of Ascalon novel - and for trivia purposes, everyone who's done Icebrood Saga has met another character from that novel: Ember Doomforge! But this isn't about Ember, it's about Killeen, and her lovely little resting place protected from the Brand. It's very easily accessible just by scooting up the marked path from Tenaebron Waypoint, which is in itself up in the Northwest corner of Fields of Ruin!

Time & Squad Details:

As we always do, we’ll be having two parties - one on EU servers and one on NA ones - with an hour break in between. People tend to arrive early and/or jump between accounts as soon as the break comes up, so don’t be surprised to see tags and announcements going up ahead of schedule!

The first party will be on EU servers and begin at 9pm Central European Summer Time (aka 3pm Eastern Daylight Time or 5 hours before in-game reset). I’ll be hosting on my EU alt account, so to join either /squadjoin or whisper Ashelin Falstaff for an invite.

The second party will be on NA servers and begin at 7pm Eastern Daylight Time (aka 1am Central European Summer Time or an hour before in-game reset). I’ll be hosting this one on my main account, so to join either /squadjoin or whisper Beldahvia for an invite.

Closing Words:

My apologies yet again for a) being delayed in posting this, but also b) posting this in the dead of (NA) night - I've been a bit sick the past week and lost track of time, but we're here now! I do feel like a broke record every time I say this, but thank you to everyone who turns out to these events - you guys are what make everything so memorable and fun! Have a good rest of your week, and I hope to see you all there on Saturday! ♥

[chaifootsteps]

Brandon Rogers confirmed that Full Moon was finished in January. Viv just tweeted that it's now delayed to "next week" (I'm not convinced at all that the episode won't be further delayed to June then Apology Tour to fucking September instead of June) because "we're still working on it it needs more cooking" bitch y'all aren't working on shit. It's done. Idc about the delaying it's her specialty at this point. It's the lying to the audience AGAIN. Vivzie is purposefully withholding it's release for as long as she can just to annoy the audience and attempt to garner more hype but it's actually having the opposite effect- with people jumping ship due to getting tired of the artificial unnecessary delays and waiting for mid woobified content. It's not worth the wait. No wonder so many people are dropping the show when she's constantly scamming people and pulling shitty stunts like this. Breaking promises and delaying long FINISHED content on purpose just to blueball her audience. A good chunk of fans on the subreddit are livid.

Interesting! Now you've really got me wondering just what the hell's going on, what incentive she could possibly have for doing this.

[rays-of-fire-and-ice]

An Unwavering Light - Chapter 5

Rating: T/ Teen for violence (in previous chapters) and mature themes including ones about trauma, grief and depression.

Setting: begins before the confrontation with Aizen and co. in Fake Karakura Town arc, and goes from there to the Thousand Year Blood War arc. This chapter takes place between chapters 422-423 of the manga.

Music to listen to: Wasteland by Royal & Serpent (YT | Spotify), Existence (Piano) by by Magome Togoshi (YT), Machi, Toki no Nagare, Hito by Shinji Orito (YT), Compassion by Shiro Sagisu (YT | Spotify), Valtari by by Sigur Rós (YT | Spotify), and Ekki Múkk by Sigur Rós (YT | Spotify).

Fic synopsis: During the confrontation against Aizen, the unthinkable happens. For Hitsugaya, a vow is broken, and for Hinamori, her future is unknown. With everything in shambles, how can they piece their lives back together? Or their bond?

Chapter synopsis: While Hinamori continues her physical recovery in Twelfth Division, she gets a visit from Nemu. Hitsugaya considers his way forward, but it's harder than expected. Can a much needed conversation with Rangiku put him on the right track?

AN: Well, this is long overdue. I sincerely apologize for the delay with this chapter, and please know going forward there won't be a delay as long as this between chapters. I want to note that I try to write these chapters kind of like stand alone fics -- it's my bread and butter after all -- so I hope you can enjoy each chapter, whether you're someone who has just stumbled across this fic or has been reading it from the beginning.

Now, on to the chapter itself! We're in the recovery arc -- yes I'm giving this fic arcs -- which will be the focus of this chapter and the next. Prepare for some slower chapters, but I'm confident it'll be worth it in the long run! Also, while there will be not much hitsuhina, we've still got brotp goodness with Hitsugaya and Rangiku!

For anyone who remembers it, I wrote a fic featuring this same scenario for Hitsugaya in A Life Without Her. As mentioned, some of these fics or their ideas will end up being incorporated into this fic, whether it was a new POV or written differently. While there are similarities between the two, I chose to split this scenario across two chapters and include some new material to make it work better for this fic.

Thank you for your patience with how long it took to get this chapter out, and I hope you enjoy it!

Disclaimer: BLEACH and it’s character’s belong to Tite Kubo.

<< Prev chapter || Chapter Index || Next chapter >>

_________________

Hinamori can barely breathe in the frigid air. She rubs her arms and huddles into herself, and despite the cold, the ground beneath her feet is brittle and warm. There’s only darkness around her, reminding her of the first time she came here.

“Tobiume?” she calls out, but her voice does not echo.

She turns in all directions, squinting to find any sign of her zanpakuto spirit. She almost misses the twinkle in the distance, a tiny dot of red-orange light. She winces when prickly grass stabs her soles and steps over the tree roots when the backs of her feet brush against them. Her pace is slow, even as everything in her wants to race to the glimmer blinking at her.

The air is scentless, and she longs for the sweeter floral scents of the trees around her. More than that, she wishes she would see. She’d spent years in this darkness, trying to hear her zanpkauto’s voice and understand what this place was. As the decades went on and she gained her Shikai, Tobiume’s flames grew so large they illuminated the floating world around her in vibrant colors -- whether it was through igniting cracks baked into the earth or giving light to the sun and moon high in the sky.

The ground, though still warm, is cooling slowly beneath her feet the closer she gets. The glimmer is a group of embers, glowing beneath logs that threatens to cave in and extinguish them.

“Tobiume!” Hinamori half sobs. “You’re so…”

Her walk turns into a run, and she falls to her knees before her zanpakuto spirit. With shaking hands, she lifts the wood away. She feels around her and finds a few twigs. She breaks them in half and nestles them into the embers, but they do not catch alight.

Hands falling to her lap, Hinamori slumps by the meager warmth as the ground beneath her cools and the air freezes the tips of her fingers and toes.

_________________________

Hinamori comes out of her inner world at the same time a door slides open. She isn't conscious of it, her senses still hazy from the lack of quality sleep and the medication they've been giving her to numb the pain. Despite the the murkiness clouding her mind, she can't forget what she just saw. With a wince, she attempts to reach out to her zanpkauto.

“You’re awake.”

She blinks, then registers who stands in the doorway. “Kurotsuchi-san,” she rasps.

She can't remember the last time she spoke with Twelfth Division's lieutenant, let alone saw her.

Nemu says nothing until she's at Hinamori's bedside. "You shouldn't move. Were you wanting your zanpakuto?"

Hinamori can only nod. Nemu wheels the table closer to her, bringing Tobiume to be more than within arms reach.

Hinamori could weep from the kind gesture. "T-Thank you."

She rests a hand on Tobiume's scabbard, and a pulse runs up her arm, as though a numbed limb was finally able to feel again. These days it took touching her weapon to fully feel her connection to her zanpakuto spirit, and after what she'd seen in her inner world, she understand why.

She turns her attention to Nemu. Had her fellow lieutenant expected her to still be unconscious? They’d taken her for another procedure, but she can’t remember if it was earlier today or only a few hours ago. Time passed strangely in this division. There’s no clocks in most rooms, and very few windows. The only way she is able to keep track was when someone brings her the small mushed-up meals, and even then it can be hard to tell when they all taste and look the same.

Hinamori musters up a small, wobbly smile. “It’s good to see you.”

She meant it too. Most of the Shinigami who have come to her room -- either to check on the equipment she's hooked up to or to wheel her into and out of an operating theater -- have been strangers. She can’t remember the last time she saw someone familiar.

“Have you been awake for long?” Nemu asks, clasping her hands in front of her.

“No, I just woke up.” A half-truth, given she can’t remember when her dreams ended and her entry into her inner world began.

Nemu stares at her, saying nothing. Hinamori would’ve been unnerved if she wasn’t used to it. It had been particularly prevalent when she first joined the Women’s Association; she’d watch and rarely speak unless spoken to.

“How have you been?" she asks.

There’s a brief, slight furrow in Nemu’s brow, but if vanishes just as quickly. "I've been well."

"That's good. Did you need to check on the machine or give me something?”

“No, I didn't come here for either of those things. I…came here to check on you.”

She widens her smile. “That’s very kind of you.”

Nemu nods as her gaze falls to the side. “It’s nothing.”

The haze in Hinamori's mind lifts a few more layers, and she realises she can finally ask someone. “Can you tell me how has everyone else been? What’s been happening out there?”

Nemu bows her head, considering her questions. “I may not be able to tell you everything.”

“Because you’re not allowed to?” Hinamori asks, swallowing nervously.

“No, because we don’t have much time. I am expected to be with Mayuri-sama for a test on a new reishi device in ten minutes.”

“Oh…then, tell me what you can.”

Still, Nemu hesitates. Is she concerned about the time? Or about what she can tell her? She shouldn't have put her on spot. Hinamori opens her mouth to dismiss her request, but then Nemu begins.

_________________________

Shiro-chan? Hey, Shiro-chan, where are you?

_________________________

“Can you feel this?”

Isane, crouching on the floor, gently drags the pointed end of a brush across the underside of his foot. Before he even answers, his toes twitch in response. “Yes.”

“Good. Your leg and foot are responding without issue. There’s slightly higher sensitivity in your left leg. Captain Unohana may request that you come in for another assessment in a week to make sure this isn’t. Even if that were the case, it won’t be an issue for you in your everyday life or in combat.”

Hitsugaya nods. The division member behind Isane, Mori, writes down her findings and observations as she speaks. Isane stands and, once he stops writing, Mori takes the brush from her and hands her the reflex hammer from the tray.

Hitsugaya takes this moment to briefly glance at Rangiku, still sitting in the chair at his bedside. She’s not really with them, her gaze hazy and focused on the floor.

“Next, we’ll test your arm,” Isane says, coming to his right side. “Like with your leg, we’ll test your tendons and joints first, then the dexterity of your fingers. First, keep your arm relaxed while I hold it. Tell me if you feel any sensation, particularly any pinching or pain.”

He does as she instructs while she lifts and bends his arm at the elbow. She finds different points in his arm and bounces the hammer off them. Like with his leg, he watches his arm respond, seeing the muscles flex or the joints making his forearm and hand sway to one side. She reports her findings for Mori to write down while she goes down the length of his arm.

He’s instructed to curl each finger one at a time, then together to touch his palm, and finally each other. She gets him to do the same with his left arm. If someone who had not known what happened to him saw this, they’d think the arm is no different from the right. His muscles respond the same way, his fingers are just as flexible and responsive as their counterparts, and he feels nothing abnormal going through and up his nerves.

Done with those tests, Isane then instructs him to hold his arm out straight, then at several different angles. Again, nothing abnormal.

“Your arm is the same as your right.” Isane nods to Mori, who puts the clipboard under his arm and begins packing up the instruments on the tray. Rangiku, having looked up some time ago, gives Hitsugaya a small smile.

“We’re done with testing,” Isane says, drawing both of their attention. “We’ll present the findings to Captain Unohana. She should be visiting you in the next three hours.” Then to Rangiku. “She’ll want to assess your condition as well, Lieutenant Matsumoto.”

“I don’t think she’ll find any problems,” Rangiku says, and Hitsugaya expects her to wink and make some light-hearted comment, but she only adds, “I’ve been feeling better.”

Isane grins. “I'm glad. You seem better, from what I can see. Captain Unohana said she would come to your room first.” Back to Hitsugaya. “Then she’ll see you, Captain Hitsugaya.”

“When can I be discharged?”

His abrupt question shifts the mood in the room. Mori, having finished packing up the tools, freezes behind Isane and his surreptitious gaze goes between her and Hitsugaya. Both lieutenants’ smiles fade, but Rangiku is the only one who looks away.

“Although it’s ultimately up to my Captain,” Isane says, “I would advise staying today and getting discharged tomorrow.”

Hitsugaya clenches his jaw. “Can I ask you to pass on a request for early discharge along with your assessment to Captain Unohana?”

“…Yes, I will let my Captain know about your request.” Isane bows, and Mori follows suit. “I have to tend to other patients. If you need anything, Mori-san will be in the room across from yours.”

Rangiku bows her head in return, and Hitsugaya is slow to follow.

“Thank you,” he says.

Both straighten, and after receiving a nod form Isane, Mori leaves the room first. Raising his head, he it feels wrong to end things there.

“Kotetsu.”

She halts and turns to him. Her shoulders stiffen, as if dreading what might come next. “Yes, Captain Hitsugaya?”

“I apologize for my words to you yesterday.”

Isane, stumped, can only blink at him. He can sense Rangiku’s confusion, but he doesn’t look away from Fourth Division’s lieutenant.

“I didn’t act as I should have," he clarifies. "Thank you for arranging the Hojiku-Za procedure with Twelfth Division, and for bringing me back to Fourth Division.”

Isane’s gaze softens, both with relief and pity. Although the last thing he wants is the latter, he can’t be annoyed by her reaction.

She nods. “It’s all right, Captain. In emergency situations we can act differently from how we normally would. If you’ll excuse me.”

With a final nod to Rangiku, she leaves.

Hitsugaya expects his lieutenant to fill the silence immediately after Isane is gone, but it pervades until he speaks up. “They’ll be serving lunch soon. You should get back to your room.”

His words snap her out of her reverie, and she stiffly stands up. “Yeah, I suppose I better.”

Her lips don’t close, and he waits again for what she’s dying to say. He can sense it coming, about to crash over him like a tidal wave, threatening to turn the dull throb in his chest into an inferno.

“You should take Kotetsu’s advice.”

Again he’s stunned.

“It’s good news,” Rangiku elaborates. “I’m glad your limbs are all right. Still, she’s right. You should rest for another day. If I’m discharged today, Mingawa-kun and I can handle things. Hell, he can handle things for another day without either of us, he told me as much.”

“He visited you?”

“Yes. He wanted to visit you too, but you were in Twelfth Division at the time.”

He doesn’t doubt his Third Seat or his lieutenant, knows they can handle things for a short while. Even so… “I’ll discuss it with Unohana.”

The slight drop in the corners of Rangiku’s mouth says more than her words, “I’ll try to come back after Captain Unohana visits you. If not, then I'll see you tomorrow.”

He nods, and she takes it as her cue to leave. He stares after her, and an unease churns in his guts.

She’s not herself. She should've brought it up by now. Or did he just want her or someone to finally bring Hinamori up? Was that why Isane had tensed up before? She and Rangiku and everyone else have to be holding back, and waiting for him to ask about her again.

He keeps staring at the empty doorway until the world around him becomes a haze. Alone again, the memories of yesterday threaten to crawl back in.

With a shake of his head, he looks down to his limbs. His arms rests on his lap, palms facing up, and his feet dangle an inch from the floor. He pulls the robe up – using his left hand as well as his right – until his legs are visible from the knees down. He lifts them and stretches his toes, gingerly splaying them then curling them in and out. Identical in every way, just as he remembers.

He used to have a litany of scars across them, and while the right holds a few more recent ones, his left had been spared since he his Academy days. He can’t say why that is, other than with his right leg being the dominant one, it’s always the one he put forward first in battle, making it more vulnerable to attacks.

Lowering his legs and smoothing the robe back over his knees, he turns his attention back to his arms. He lifts his left one to the ceiling and flexes his fingers again; open, shut, open, shut, open. He twists his wrist to look at his palm, then at the back as he lowers it.

The fingers of his right hand ghost over the flesh of his left forearm. It’s completely unblemished, lacking the faint scars he’s known for years. The deep, tiny one on the left side of his wrist, a mission that had gone badly and served as a reminder for him to always be on guard, no matter the circumstances. The circular one on his upper arm, from bring nicked by a Hollow’s claw, and close it was the one that had shrunken over the years, from a bad fall and tumble he had as a child. The one that went from his elbow to loop around to the front of his forearm, a wound from his first days as a seated officer on a mission; it’d gotten so faint it was barely noticeable unless one were looking closely. He traces a finger over where it used be, gone forever.

After a pause, he touches his left hand. His right hand is calloused, roughed by years of training and battle. The skin of his left is smooth and softer, as if it had never lifted a weapon before . As if all of his training had been for nought. It might as well have been. He couldn’t protect her.

His right fingers dig into his left palm, and his left fingers dig in on top of them. They don’t stave the memories away, nor the whirling torrent of something that threatens tears to bead in his eyes.

Why?

His limbs shake, and he bows his head. Shutting his eyes, he breathes deeply, haltingly. Sweat breaks out on the back of his neck and on his temple.

No, he can’t, not here.

But his breath doesn’t return, his head won’t stop pounding, his chest won’t stop hurting. He pushes the heels of his palms into his eyes hard enough to see blotches of white and red behind his eyelids.

It doesn’t stop the images of that day race up to meet him. It doesn’t stop the echo of her last words filling his ears until they’re ringing. It doesn’t stop the surge of bile racing up to his throat.

He needs to get out of here.

His eyes snap open. Without thinking, he slaps his feet on to the floor and pushes himself from the bed. He ends up buckling and yelps when his knees and elbows hit the floor with a hard 'smack'.

The door opens and Mori comes rushing into the room. Hitsugaya doesn’t look him in the eye. He lets him and another division member who Mori calls out for lift him back into the bed. His breakfast ends up in a bucket that Mori barely gets to him in time. He doesn't remember when his breathing calmed, if the sweat had been wiped away or dried on it's own.

He can barely respond to their questions about what happened. He’s caught in that state again, between the past and present. But this isn’t the battlefield; this is the aftermath.

I’m stuck here, he thinks while they pass him a glass of water. He sips it obligingly. It's enough to make them leave with reassurances that their captain is on her way. They’ll tell her what happened. Will she enter the room with a look of pity? Of disappointment in her fellow captain’s conduct? Of knowing?

He’s too weak to punch the pillow he rests his head on, and soon, his eyes shut into a restless nap.

____________________________

“Shiro-chan? Hey, Shiro-chan, where are you? Shiro-ch -- Oh, he’s asleep.”

He heard her shuffle around him. He didn’t know why he was pretending to be asleep – he knew really but he refused to admit it to himself. He kept himself composed, eyes shut, posture relaxed against the veranda’s floorboards.

He sensed her hesitation, deciding whether or not to wake him. After several more seconds, she left, her footsteps retreating back into his house. They paused, then the front door slid open, and they continued to the front.

____________________________________

Hitsugaya watches the night pass, eyes on the ceiling, having tried to fall asleep only to startle awake a few hours later. The sounds and images of battle rush away from his ears and eyes, as if sucked off by the wind.

He grazes his fingertips over Hyourinmaru’s hilt, but still his zanpakuto says nothing. It's strange to not have him here, in presence or voice. But then again, he’s not even sure he himself has anything to say.

He considers asking for medication for the pain in his chest and head, but it would only be a temporary measure. And it’s not like the limbs he’s regrown; he cannot start afresh with either his head or heart.

He recalls Unohana’s assessment, and her final verdict that he will stay for another day, with additional tests of his limbs scheduled for tomorrow due to what happened today. He hadn't been completely truthful with her, but he sensed she knew that.

He can’t stay here. He has to...what?

His furrow lifts away as it hits him. He has not idea what he's going to do.

_________________________

He heard Hinamori and Granny’s tones rather what they said. Hinamori unsure, and Granny with a smile in her voice. She was likely telling Hinamori about what he’d been up to – gathering watermelons from the patch they used to frequent. The evidence of his journey lay at the door, with six large watermelons stacked up.

There was a teeter of Hinamori’s laughter, then Granny said something before resuming her sweeping. Hinamori’s footsteps returned to his house, but he frowned when they scurried around. They went to one closest and then another, pause there, then wondered back to him.

_________________________

The tests are the same as the ones conducted yesterday. The only difference is there’s another involving walking around the room and picking things up. He ignores the strange indignation that comes with the latter, knowing it’s a sense of pride that wouldn’t help him.

In the moments between the tests, he thinks about the revelation from last night. He can't believe he's been so oblivious and short-term in his thinking. He has no plan, no way forward. He’d wanted to escape from here, but to do what?

Upon completion, Isane determines there’s no physical issues preventing him from being discharged tomorrow morning. Not long after she and Mori had left to hand their results over to Unohana, Hitsugaya stands from his bed and leaves his room.

Walking down the hallway, he receives a few looks from Fourth Division members, but none question him or advise him to return to his room.

He goes to the room where whisps of Rangiku’s reiatsu emanate from. His brow furrows seeing someone else in her room. Hanataro is stripping the bed of its sheets, with fresh ones folded in a hamper on the floor.  

He makes to leave, but Hanatato looks up. “Oh, Captain Hitsugaya.” He bows his head. “I’m sorry, sir, I didn’t see you there. Did you need something?”

“I was looking for Matsumoto.”

 “Oh, the Lieutenant is out in the gardens. ” He points to the window. “She wanted to get some fresh air.”

Hitsugaya takes a few steps into the room and looks outside. Sure enough, she’s sitting on a backless bench beneath a tree that offers very little shelter. Her shoulders are once again slouched, and her hair curtains her face from view.

“She mentioned you may come to see her,” Hanataro adds. “I don’t think she’d mind if you joined her out there, i-if that’s what you want to do, that is.”

“I see. Thank you.” He hears Hanataro ramble something else, but pays it no mind as he leaves.

He slows himself to a stop outside of his room. A passing officer glances at him, slowing their steps when he doesn’t move. He makes to go in, and they continue down the hallway, convinced he’s returned to his room.

He reflects on his surroundings, telling himself he isn't stalling. The walls out in the hallway are a pale green. There’s chatter coming from another room, and there’s a brief waft of flowers in the air, breaking through the medicinal and clean scents he’s gotten used to.

He can retreat back to his room, let this gumption slip away. He hadn’t even realised he’s been building up any sort of courage to speak with Rangiku. He didn’t want her pitying or wary look, he’s gotten enough of those kinds of stares from everyone else. More than that, he finds himself fearing if she’ll bring up the battle. If she’ll bring up Hinamori. Hadn't he wanted someone to? Hadn't he he anticipated it?

Even so, he’s like a child, trying to avoid what hurts. It’s inevitable they’ll discuss it. It might helps him decide what to do after he leaves Fourth Division. With that in mind, continues down the hallway and turns off at the nearest exit to the gardens.

A strong breeze greets him, one that ruffles his robes and hair and sends orange and brown leaves from the trees twirling through the air and spinning on the ground and veranda that encompasses the courtyard.

He steps down into the gardens, but pauses when he spots Rangiku. She hasn't budged since he saw her through the window. He wonders how long she’s been sitting out here like this, if she even realises how much time has passed.

His frown deepens when he recalls a folktale from his childhood, one involving a woman so overcome by sadness she never rose from the chair she sat upon after losing her lover. Over time, her skin turned to stone and her tears watered the flowers that grew around her feet until her eyes too turned to stone.

He shakes his head against the thought that his lieutenant could become like that. That whatever was eating her up would consume her whole and transform her into a shell of who she was. He bites the inside of his cheek at the thought of what he believes is causing her to be like this. He hasn’t yet learned Gin’s fate, but it's more than likely the same as Tosen’s. Aizen held little regard for those who served him – Halibel’s demise was evidence enough of that.

Pushing the thought of the traitors aside, he continues down the pebbled footpath. His hands, loose at his side, brush shrubs that line the path. It’s oddly nice to feel something that isn’t material or metallic. He takes a moment before continuing run his left hand over the leaves. Again, like he never lost it in the first place.

Hearing his footsteps, Rangiku raises her head. Some of her hair is still in the way, leaving one eye of out view. She gives him a wane smile. “Captain.”

He sits down next to her without a word. They remain silent for some time. The air around them is strange, but not uncomfortable.

He turns his head a fraction to his lieutenant. He wonders if she’s angry with him. She should be, and so should anyone else who is Hinamori’s friend.

“They’re letting me go tomorrow,” she says after a minute.

He doesn’t respond right away. “Me as well.”

“If you need extra time --”

“Absolutely not.” It comes out harsher than intended.

In the face of his frustration, her smile returns, albeit smaller and wistful. Then, crossing one leg over the other, she changes the subject. “Minagawa came by this morning. He said he's visit you too.”

He folds his arms across his waist. “He did. He mentioned there’s catch up on paperwork, but he’s otherwise kept other admin running smoothly.”

“He’s always been a hard worker. We should let him have a break. Hanae-kun, too. He’s been helping him. ”

Hitsugaya nods. “Neither of them may want to.”

“Stubbornness. I can’t speak for Hanae-kun, but you and Minagawa always had that in common.” It’s her attempt at her usual lightheartedness, but it doesn’t quite reach her voice.

Hitsugaya only scoffs, and its similarly half hearted. He folds his arms. “I’ll bring it up with them tomorrow.”

“Well, I hope they take you up on it.” She tilts her head back. Her hair slips over her shoulder and her bangs brush along her cheekbones. “They deserve it.”

Unsure what to say, Hitsugaya lets her comment hang in the air. They return to silence, and he allows himself to take in his surroundings. He’s had quiet moments in his room, but they were not the sort that brought him the peace. Though his mind is still heavy and his chest still aching, the susurration of the leaves and the smells of nature are soothing. It reminds him of his childhood, of days spent in the forest.

“I know what happened.”

The statement is like a stone breaking through glass. It's so sudden he flinches. He’s been waiting for this, but even knowing it would come still didn’t make it any less impactful. With a quiet, strangled grunt, he looks at Rangiku.

He’d expected accusation at worst, pity at best, and he had strings of words prepared for each, but he’s rendered speechless by the compassion and horror in his lieutenant’s gaze.

“I saw most of it from the ground. I had no idea he’d…” She takes in a long breath, her tears remaining unshed. “It wasn’t your fault, Captain. You have to know that. Everyone was under his power.”

He unfolds his arms and grips the bench beneath them.“Regardless, it happened.” And I should’ve been strong enough to stop it. "And you're wrong. I'm the reason she's receiving organ recovery treatment right now."

She leans forward, adamant. “No, you're not. You and the other captains couldn't have known. And I know your feelings about Twelfth Division. Believe me, you’re not the only one who feels that way, but Hinamori is receiving the best treatment she can right now. She’s alive, sir. There has to be a way forward from this.”

No matter how much he tried to prepare himself for the mention of her, his heart lurches and his grip on the bench becomes white-knuckled. “So, you know what she feels now, do you?”

Rangiku winces and her gaze goes to ground. “Of course I don’t, but you don’t either. I don’t think either of us can imagine what she’s going through right now.”

He could retort that he’s known her longer, can predict her reactions to anything, but the words don’t even reach his throat. Because they’re not true. He didn’t predict her actions during the invasion of Ichigo and his friends or when Aizen had set up for them to all find Central Forty-Six slaughtered.

Even when he’d retraced his steps to get back to her, he’d thought he of all people should’ve known she would act the way she did for Aizen’s sake. in the minutes before he found her on the brink of death and the man who’d slain her grinning not even ten steps away from her,

What’s to stop her from hating him now, even when she knows the truth?

He stares into his lap, both of his arms in his peripheral. Both taut from his harsh grip, but one is trained but was unable to find the strength to protect her, the other is new and too soft. “How could she feel anything else?”

Rangiku takes in a long breath, and the exhale is quiet and dragged out. “It’s not for you to know or decide whats she feels. She'll know this wasn't your fault, that you never wanted this to happen. When the time comes, you can cross that bridge, sir,”

Will that bridge ever present itself? This could be the end. She may never be able to look him in the eye again, may never forgive him for what he’s done. He wouldn’t forgive himself, can’t forgive himself.

As if hearing his thoughts, Rangiku says, “We have to be there for her when the time comes. We should visit her when we can."

His throat goes dry at the thought. All this time, he never once thought of seeing her. It should’ve been so obvious, the first thing to come to mind with planning a way forward.

"Is that wise?" he says, "considering..."

“I know it’ll be hard,” she adds, “but it’s the only way you can start again. If not at Twelfth Division, then when she’s in Fourth. You can ask about her condition all you want to those treating her, but you won’t know how she truly is and where you stand until she you see her.”

It’s not like Rangiku to be this forward and insistent. His stomach roils at the idea of seeing her. Of course he’d be anxious about seeing her, but perhaps it's the right thing to do.

He returns his gaze to hers. “I’ll think about it. In the meantime, do you feel prepared to resume your duties tomorrow? If not, you should continue to rest here for as long as you need.”

He can’t tell if she frowns at the sudden change of subject or the uncharacteristic rasp in his voice. He could cringe from it, but he manages to remain stoic. He’s on the edge, and if she continues speaking about Hinamori he may let everything out.

She shuts her eyes and presses her lips together in a tight line. She lets out a quiet, resigned sigh through her nose. “No, I’ll be fine.”

She won’t be, but like him, the work will be a distraction. So, he nods. “Good.”

_______________________________________

After Hitsugaya returns to his rooms, the day passes with only lunch and dinner as interruptions before dusk. He expects a visit from Unohana, can sense her reiatsu coming up the hallway. She turns off into another room briefly, before coming back out and going to another.

Hitsugaya lays back on his bed. Tired of staring at the ceiling, he turns on to his side, staring at the bedside table where his dinner tray had been an hour ago. He forced himself to eat against his lack of appetite, and the food is heavy in his stomach.

His gaze wonders to the door and he returns to tracking Unohana’s reiatsu. She moves into another room -- Rangiku's he realises belatedly. Sensing she stays in her room for a particularly long time, he shifts his attention to his hands, resting in front of his face.

He never thought he’d miss his scars. It seems like something Eleventh Division would mourn. Perhaps he can understand now why so many of them hold such pride in them. It’s a sign of a past battle, one survived and victorious over.

He has no proof of that anymore. Had he really learned from his past mistakes?

He shuts his eyes on that thought.

__________________________

He schooled his expression back to neutral before she came out on to veranda. She knelt at his side, and it took everything for him to not open his eyes when she lifted his head. It wasn’t far off the floorboards, but enough so that she lodged something soft underneath. A pillow?

Then she unfolded something – a sheet he suspected. “Would he need this?” she asked herself. “It’s getting colder in the evenings, he might be out here for a while.”

He pressed his lips together, hoping she didn’t see it, managing to stifle a laugh. She could be so strange. Thinking of whether he’d need a sheet or not, doing something like this when she didn’t need to.

That made something his chest tighten. He tried to ignore it. He’s meant to be annoyed at her right now.

As if she read his mind, she finally spoke again. “It’s been a while since I last saw you.” She sighed. “I wish I’d brought the news up differently. I didn’t think you’d be so upset by it…”

He wasn’t upset, he was annoyed, he told himself.

“I don’t understand though. I always thought you didn’t care whether or not I got into the Academy.” Then, to herself, more quietly. “Was I wrong? Did I miss something?”

He didn’t fully understand it himself. He always told himself he didn’t care what she did or where she went. It had been easier in the beginning when they hardly knew each other, but it took more effort as the years went by.

He should 'wake up'. He needed to stop this.

She let out a weak chuckle. “What am I doing? I should be saying all of this to you when you’re awake.”

She stood, paused for a moment. He could feel her eyes on him. Was she waiting for him to wake up? Or did she know he wasn’t really asleep? If she did, she wouldn’t have indulged him for this long, surely.

“I promise I will next time. I don’t want things to be like this before I leave.”

After several heartbeats, she left. He heard her put her sandals back on, slid the front door open, then closed it, a quick goodbye to Granny, and finally her footsteps scraped against the dirt as she rushed back into the Junrinan.

He doesn’t open his eyes until then. He twists on to his back and throws an arm over his face.

He hated the pillow pressed beneath his head, and the folded blanket left at his side within arm’s reach. He hated the painful tightness in his chest. He hated that she was going to Academy. He hated that he had been a brat to her about it. He hated that he knew what she wanted to say and that she was none the wiser.

__________________________

He awakens from a restless nap at the sound of a muffled voice. Unohana, outside his door, but she isn’t asking to come in. She’s speaking with someone else. He can’t make out what they’re saying.

Eyes half hooded, he’s back to staring at his hands.

"...you won’t know how she truly is and where you stand until she you see her."

He holds on to Rangiku's words while waiting in the stillness. They remain at the forefront of his mind when Unohana comes in to check on him and confirm he’ll be discharged tomorrow morning, and even in the hours after she leaves.

The idea of seeing Hinamori does nothing to ease him into sleep.

__________________________

Hinamori sits by the embers, knees drawn to her chest and arms wrapped around them. She couldn’t fall asleep, so she chose to retreat to her inner world again. She doesn’t want to go back to that darkness she's been floating in, as tempting as it can be.

She thinks about what Nemu had told her yesterday. She hadn't told her how the battle had ended or what happened after she had lost consciousness, and Hinamori isn't sure if was because they ran out of time or if she was keeping it from her. She tells herself it didn't matter for now.

Her friends are safe, some are being treated in Fourth Division, others have already returned to their duties. Despite the relief that brought, Hinamori wanted to ask about those who hadn’t been brought up, but too exhausted and disorientated, she chose to leave it. Even if she had the strength, however, would she truly ask?

She knows Rangiku is recovering, but her injuries had been so severe, was she truly all right? The memory of her falling to the town below, and then of her on concrete beside her as Izuru tended to her injuries made Hinamori wince. With a shake of her head, she ponders on what else Nemu had told her about her friend. How had she gotten from the Fake Karakura Town back to the Soul Society before the battle's end? Why had she?

She chooses not to think about Gin and Tosen’s fates – Nemu hadn't brought them up, but the fact she’s safe should be evidence enough they were immobilised, either imprisoned or cut down. She worries about Izuru and Hisagi. How are they coping with the loss of their captains? What about Rangiku with Gin?

The thought of Hitsugaya leaves her shaken, and she the cold that’d permeated her body and now her world makes her tighten arms around herself. She's not ready to think about him yet, but Nemu said he was recovering in Fourth Division.

Then there was Aizen. The thought of him sends a shudder through her, and she has to swallow back tears. The memories of what happened are too fresh, too confusing, that if she were to think on them she’s certain that darkness would come back.

She gazes down at her hands. They’re cast more in shadow than light. After everything, it hadn’t worked. Her training, her will, her escape that could risk her place in the Fifth Division, it was for nothing.  How can she face anyone? If she had at least proved herself in battle, would anyone have questioned her abilities? Would they see her as weak and unfit for her role now?

Tobiume’s voice cuts in and out as a whisper too quiet to hear. Hinamori returns her gaze to the embers.

“I’m sorry,” she murmurs. “I’m so sorry.”

She reaches a hand in, unfurling her fingers in the orange glow. It doesn’t burn, it never has. It flows over her in waves like the sea.

“I’ll make this better…” She bows her head and rests her temple on her knees. “Somehow.”

_________________________

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[cherryxrobots]

ROBOT/AI ROLEPLAY SERVER: CLOSED (FOR NOW)

Alright, I apologize for the delay, everybody. We had a hiccup or two, but we're ready for action!

Welcome one and all (18+) to the Cressatella Robotics Co. Roleplay Server - a Discord dedicated to everyone who loves robots/fictional AI just a little too much a perfectly normal amount!

Upon entering the server, you're gonna see it looks...pretty empty.

Well wait just a moment, ya silly!

You just have to read the rules, and once you're done, you're key to enter is just one checkmark click away!

See you soon! - 🍒

UPDATE 11/26

Okay, WOW! So I didn't think I would need to do this so soon, but I'm actually going to close off the server for now due to the sudden growth of the server in such a short amount of time. I'll surely be opening it back up sometime in the future, but considering there are 20+ people already, I think that's a good amount to have without everything going crazy. Maybe if/when I get people who help me as mods, I'll open it back up, but until then sit tight if you want to join once we open again!

I'm keeping this post just as an update status, and I'll update AGAIN once things are back open.

[trulybetty]

no flights tonight | part one.

pairing: modern day au!pero x f!reader word count: 1,526 warnings: nothing major, we're in G territory summary: with flights delayed due to the snow, and a wedding to attend, you find yourself stranded at the airport and with the last person you want to run into, your ex. ao3: linked

x. series masterlist

A/N: This is a gift for @little-mrs-morales for the @pedrostories 2024 Secret Santa event! It kinda got away from me, so I hope you enjoy it ♥️

Part One.

The airport was a sea of angry, tired and frustrated travellers. The announcements of cancelled flights had started the moment you’d stepped foot into the airport. The snowstorm had grounded everything, no one was getting out. So, of course, that meant you were one of them. Now, you stood in a long, slow-moving line at the rental car desk, scrolling aimlessly on your phone while your patience wore even thinner.

Then you heard it, his voice.

Low, gravelly, and unmistakably him. It cut through the noise of complaints like a sharp blade. Your fingers froze over your phone, your grip tightened on the handle of your carry-on and your stomach twisted in a way you hated to be reminded of. You didn’t even need to look to confirm it was him.

Pero.

You turned slowly, your heart sinking as your eyes landed on his broad shoulders and familiar leather jacket. He was ahead of you, speaking to the desk clerk, a scowl etched on his face. His voice dipped, you could hear the frustration in his voice and the curses in Spanish under his breath.

“Nothing?” He sighed heavily, rubbing the back of his neck.

“I’m sorry, sir,” she said, looking up from the screen apologetically, “there’s no cars left. The storm has caused a rush on all available rentals, I’ve got nothing.”

“Figures,” he mumbled, gathering his bag at his feet.

The clerk offered a weak apology, but Pero had already turned away. He hadn’t seen you yet, which gave you a brief, fleeting moment to consider ducking out of the line and pretending that none of this had ever happened. But, of course, that would’ve been too easy.

He spotted you almost immediately, his sharp gaze locking onto yours. For a second, just a quick beat, you saw the flicker of surprise in his dark eyes, quickly masked by a guarded expression—one you knew too well. You hated the way your chest tightened, your breath catching, the fact that the sight of him was still capable of knocking the wind out of you.

He looked… good. Too good. His skin was tanned, his hair a little longer than you remembered, and he seemed more at ease in his own skin than he’d been in years. You knew why, of course. Valentina had told you all about his summer in Spain, the job he’d taken right after your break up. He’d spent it working on a dig and reconnecting with his family. You’d smiled through gritted teeth as she’d shared pictures of her own visit there that summer. Pictures of him laughing with their relatives, the Mediterranean sun lighting up his face.

You knew you should’ve stopped checking in with his family after the breakup, but you’d been together so long that they were as much your family that it was hard to let go. Besides, Valentina was more than just Pero’s cousin—she’d become one of your closest friends. Plus, you couldn’t bring yourself to completely sever all ties, not when a part of you still…

You shoved the thought aside, focusing on Pero as he approached you, his expression unreadable.

“Great,” he muttered, mostly to himself, as he came to a stop in front of you, his arms crossed and waiting for you to say something.

“Pero,” you said flatly.

“Figures you’d be here,” he said, his tone dry.

“Figures you’d still be this charming,” you shot back, you couldn’t help yourself.

He snorted but didn’t rise to the bait which frustrated you more than you cared to admit. Instead, he nodded toward the counter behind him, his lips twitching in something that wasn’t quite a smile, “Trying to get a car?”

“What does it look like?”

“It looks like you’re wasting your time,” he said, gesturing to the counter he’d just left, “Don’t bother, they’re out of cars.”

You sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose, you felt a headache coming on, “Of course they are.”

He shrugged, his expression neutral, “You might get lucky, but I wouldn’t bet on it.”

“Thanks for the encouragement,” you muttered, stepping forward as the line crept closer to the desk.

You expected him to leave, but instead, he leant against a nearby pillar, arms crossed, watching you as you approached the counter. You tried to ignore him, focusing on the clerk instead, but their apologetic smile already told you how this conversation was going to go.

“Sorry, we’re completely out,” they said confirming your worst fears.

“Nothing? Not even anything for the morning?”

“No sorry, we’re wiped of inventory.”

“Perfect,” you muttered under your breath.

Behind you, Pero let out a dry laugh, “Told you.”

You spun to glare at him. “Do you have somewhere else to be, or are you just enjoying this?”

Pero’s eyes glinted, his smirk faint but there. “Trust me, I’m not enjoying anything about this.”

You narrowed your eyes at him, but your phone buzzed in your pocket before you could fire back a retort. Fishing it out, you unlocked the screen and read the text, it was from Lin whose wedding that weekend you were supposed to be attending:

We saw the flight cancellations—Will booked a car for you and Pero before they sold out. Sorry, we could only get the one. Info’s at the desk. Let me know if it’s all okay, love you! :)

Your heart sank as you reread the message, willing it to possibly say something different. Pero’s phone buzzed at the same time, and you saw him pull it from his jacket, his eyes scanning the screen before he let out a short, exasperated laugh.

“Let me guess,” Pero said, pulling out his phone as his own notification chimed. “Lin.”

“Lin,” you echoed bitterly.

He sighed, his hand running through his hair as he glanced back at the counter. “Of course, they’d do something like this,” he said, shoving the phone back into his pocket.

You both approached the counter again, explaining the situation. Pero slid his driver’s licence to the clerk behind the counter with the details of the booking Will had sent both of you in a follow-up text.

“This can’t be happening,” you muttered passing over your own licence, but the clerk was already pulling up the reservation, confirming the details.

“Yep,” they smiled brightly, as if this was good news, “looks like there’s a compact SUV reserved for both of you,” she quickly tapped away at her keyboard before looking up at you both brightly, “You’re all set to go.”

Pero raised an eyebrow at you, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth, “Well, this should be fun.”

“I’ll walk,” you said, half-serious.

“In this storm?” he gestured to the glass doors, where the snow was whipping furiously outside, “No, cariño, you’re not that stubborn.”

You hated how the familiar endearment made your heart skip, instead, you grit your teeth, “I hate this.”

“Join the club,” he replied as he finished signing his share of the documents required before snatching the keys from the desk, “Let’s go, I’m driving.”

You narrowed your eyes, “Excuse me?”

“You hate driving in the snow,” he replied, his voice low but matter of fact, “You’ve always hated it. Unless you’ve magically learned how to deal with it over the summer, I’m not risking my life to prove a point. I’ll take the wheel.”

You bristled, crossing your arms. “I’ve driven in snow plenty of times without killing anyone.”

He raised an eyebrow, clearly unimpressed. “That’s very reassuring. Still driving.”

You didn’t have the energy to argue, or the pride to admit he was right, so you followed him to the rental lot. The storm outside whipped around you, snow biting at your cheeks as you pulled your hat down further on your head and cursed the footwear you’d chosen that morning.

It didn’t take long to find the car, with the lot practically empty it had been easy to pick out the SUV from the slim offerings remaining. You bounced on the balls of your feet, waiting while Pero checked the tires, grumbling to himself in Spanish. He’d already stopped you from jumping straight into the car, wanting to ensure he could inspect it from all angles without interruption.

“It’s freezing, can I just get inside already?”

He stood from his crouched position where he was examining the back tires, glaring at you from over the top of the car, “Looks good,” he finally declared, opening the trunk and throwing his bag in, his hand outstretched for your own, you didn’t miss that he was a little more gentle settling your bag in next to his.

He rounded the car and looked at you over its roof, giving you a look of disbelief as to why you weren’t already in the car, “¿Estás pirado? It’s snowing, get in the car. Vamos!”

“Still bossing everyone around,” you muttered.

Pero didn’t look up, just opened the driver’s side door. “Only when I know I’m right.”

You rolled your eyes, climbing into the passenger seat and slamming the door a little harder than necessary.

It was going to be a long trip.

[king-paimon]

Houseki no Kuni Chapter 107 Thoughts: Goodnight, Sweet Phos...

Hello everyone! Sorry for the delay with this post. I originally intended to finish it and post it on Wednesday, but you know.... life happened.

Another month has gone by and now we're on our second to last chapter for Houseki no Kuni. That's right; it's been confirmed that the next chapter will be the last chapter. Can you believe it? If you've seen my previous posts, I'm sure you have an idea of how I feel about this news.

But that'll be for the end of this post. For now, let's talk about this chapter! I don't know how long this one will be, but I'll still warn you that it might be longer than intended, which is the norm for me. This post is a bit too messy for my liking so I might end up making some edits to it later. For now, I just want to have it posted.

As always, please feel free to share your own thoughts in this post! Here we go!

Visual Storytelling Through Change in Style

The first thing I want to talk about is the visuals for this chapter. It greatly contrast with the visual style of the previous couple of chapters. In those chapters, the art was loud, intense, and chaotic, and yet mesmerizing and immersive. The heavy use of black, sharp lines and patterns emphasizes on the harshness of the changing environment. And in many of those page, Phos looks so small, as they are literally being consumed by their surroundings. Even though there were many panels where Phos, Eyeball, or the pebbles are the focus, the background is still very overwhelming in comparison.

Now contrast that with most of the visuals in this chapter. Most, if not all, of the intense visual motifs from the previous chapters are gone; no sharp patterns, black is subdued significantly, and the background isn't overpowering the characters.

The intensity of the visuals were cut back significantly and were traded in for simplified line art, heavy use of the white negative space, and soft hues that make everything airy and dream-like. This is especially true during Phos's sequence. I like how there are very few thick continuous lines in the artwork. These illustrations are mostly made up of light, loose broken up short lines that create abstract structures. And I like that as the regression continued, Phos's design simplified to the point that they were just a small abstract face.

This art style literally and metaphorically showed us the deconstruction of Phos. It's so simple, and yet so impactful.

This is also the case for the last two pages.

The change in visual tone does a nice job emphasizing the literal and figuratively change in scenery. To be more specific, the drastic art style changes can symbolize the final metamorphosis of the remaining characters and the story itself. With Eyeball and the pebbles, the style emphasizes how they've transitioned to a whole new place in a literal and allegorical sense. And with Phos, they're style does the same by emphasizing on the deconstruction of their being during their final moments.

I apologize if what I said was confusing (I also got myself confused for a moment haha) But I'll just end this section with this: I liked the art in this chapter.

Now then, we should jump into the meat of this chapter....

Phos's final curtain call.

Phos Can Finally Rest...

Like I stated before, I found Phos's pages really beautiful for different reasons. In terms of visuals, it's nice seeing some softer imagery after having nothing but sharp, chaotic ones. And story wise, it's nice to see Phos finally letting go and feeling fulfilled.

They are finally free, for real this time. Free from heartache, pain, existing. Phos is no longer held back by the sorrow they had been carrying, and they are free of regret.

They are finally at peace.

And would you look at that? We got to see Pho's original face one last time. And they were happy.

Good for them.

Before going to the next section, I want to quickly talk about this page:

When I first looked through the spoiler tag for the previous couple of chapters, I remember seeing some posts from people who seemed unsatisfied with how the story progressed. From what I understand, many of them didn't like that Phos decided to forgive the remnants of humanity. With this latest chapter, I'm sure there are fans who were also not happy that during Phos's final moments that they are thinking about wanting to see their old families again. I can understand the sentiment, though I'm not surprised with this development.

Despite everything that had led the story to this point, Phos did not hate their old families. Yes, they harbored malice towards them during different points of the story, and it would have been justifiable for Phos to punish them along with the other remnants of humanity came to them to pray. But instead, Phos chose to forgive and free them.

I originally saw Phos's actions as their way of finally cutting ties with their families and relieving themselves of the emotional baggage that they burdened them with. But it's been hinted for a while that despite everything, Phos still loved their families. And the fact that Phos wishes they could see them again solidifies this fact.

Though I can't say if I like this revelation or not, I still find it interesting. But again, I can understand if some readers disagree with Ichikawa's writing decisions. If you have your own thoughts about Phos's final moments, please feel free to share them!

But regardless of everything, I still think this was a wonderfully fitting send off for Phos.

But I'm not done talking about Phos just yet.

And Start Anew...

I'll admit that having the first image I see be Phos's last gem piece shatter was not the welcoming image I wanted to see. For a moment, I thought my hope that there was a chance the small piece of Phos would grow sentience and live a new life was shattered (haha.)

But hooray, for that theory became a reality! Despite Phos's last piece breaking up again, a small bit remained and is evidently showing signs of life. It was wonderful how the pebbles immediately recognized that small piece as their brother, showing once again how open and welcoming their are. Small Phos is so lucky.

And how ironic is it that this Small Phos is considered the smallest, (in some ways) youngest, and most fragile new member of this new family... much like how Phos was with the gems at the beginning of this whole story. (I know that Phos was the same height as the other gems, but because of their makeup and position within their society, Phos can be considered less significant or "smaller" than everyone else)

Hm. With that thought in the air... I hope the parallels end there and this doesn't mean that this small and untainted piece of Phos won't be subjected to a similar treatment of their predecessor, right?

...right??

Nah, it should be fine....Unless Aechmea somehow comes back-

Created Their New Path: Final Act of Defiance?

The second to last thing I'd like to talk about is this page because it had me thinking about few things.

It made me think back to the previous chapters, namely the crazy, nearly perfect plans perpetuated by Aechmea and the Lunarians. It's been emphasized many times how calculated Aechmea's plans were, especially when it came to Phos. He nearly predicted every action Phos would make and kept planning and manipulating accordingly until things go the way he wants. And in the previous chapter, it was also heavily implied that he and the other remnants of humanity counted on Phos, Eyeball, and whatever new organisms they came across, to get onto the Dues Ex Machina ship. In some way, they predicted correctly.

But now I must ask these questions:

Did they also count on the possibility of Phos not entering the ship?

Did they also count on Eyeball switching off the ship's autopilot, manually controlling it, and subsequently crash landing it on a planet that more than likely wasn't the original destination?

For these questions, I want to say no.

It's interesting how even though at this point in the story, both Eyeball and Phos seemed resigned to the fact all of their actions were a result of them being manipulated, even after the perpetrators were long gone. But funny enough, I think that their very last actions were entirely their choice. For Phos, staying on the planet and ceasing to exist was entirely their choice. And for Eyeball, choosing to meddle with the ships settings to grab Phos's last gem piece and boost the ships' output. I don't think Aechmea counted on Eyeball doing that. If Eyeball is correct and they did pass the planet that Aechmea had possibly prepared for them, then this means that Eyeball had in many ways changed the trajectory of his and the pebble's lives, albeit unintentional. This could all mean that are all finally free from Aechmea and his long-game, 4D chess plans.

Phos and Eyeball have finally and truly defied Aechmea and humanity.

...BUT THEN AGAIN.. there's always that dumb chance that this was ALSO somehow part of Aechmea's plan. I highly doubt it, because that would be very ridiculously convoluted, even for this story. But then again, you never know with this author.

But for the sake of this post, I want to believe Phos and Eyeball came out on top in the end by intentionally and unintentionally forging paths that wasn't previously made for them. Even though Phos's final choice was somewhat influenced by the professor, it still felt like it was truly their decision.

I hope this doesn't unravel somehow with the final chapter.

Speaking of which-

The Final Stretch...

I can't believe it. This story is about to end. We'll finally almost done and what a journey it has been. I can't believe I started getting into this series almost over 6 years ago. Many things have happened since then, and during this time, this story had sent me on such an emotional rollercoaster. Though there are many things within the story that I wish was different or handled better, I still think this was a very wonderful and thought provoking story.

Now Ms. Ichikawa has to stick the landing. This could make or break this series.

After everything you put us readers through, I hope the true finale will be worth it.

[ask-postcrash-curly]

Wait this isn’t- Uh. Ok.. so we aren’t back in Curly’s head. We just. Mind jumped to.. Daisuke’s? Alright then.

Uh, Hello Daisuke! I wasn’t expecting to meet you. We’ve never jumped from one foreign mind to another twice in a row like this… usually we go right back to Curly.

…That probably sounds odd to you. This is just how it is with us. It seems you’ll be stuck with us for a little while. though hopefully not too long. I miss Curlman.

Hah. I know I’m being horrifically vague, but it’s mostly just cuz I know the others will explain it all to you soon. Or maybe by the time you get this they already will have. Time is weird and subjective. They’ll explain that too, I imagine. The.. the whole time delay.

…

Oh right, I should probably tell you who I am… I am Ari. Hello, hi, Daisuke. Dai man. Daisu-man? Nice to meet you, despite how unexpected. Swansea was unexpected too, to be fair, but I imagine you’ll be more pleasant. Not to knock the old man, I get why he’s like that, I think, but, y’know. It is what it is, as they say. Probably.

But, hey, listen, you definitely aren’t going crazy or anything. Just ask Anya or Swansea about us if you need! They won’t think you’re crazy, promise. We briefly hitched a ride in their brains too. We actually just came from Swansea’s.

we’ve been in Swansea’s mind for a few days.. and now we are in yours. Curly’s probably worried sick with how long we’ve been gone. I hope he’s okay. I worry something bad will or has happened but I don’t want to jinx it. Or accidentally speak it into existence. Which I guess I just did by acknowledging that… damn it. Haha. It’s probably fine, though right,,? We aren’t even in the same universe. Its ok. I’m gonna stop talking about that because I’m just gonna end up stressing myself out more.

…

…Anyway, how are you, by the way? You doin any better? From what I heard I can only assume you’re able to walk or move around, yeah? You seem in overall high spirits, so that’s good, at least. I‘ve heard quite a bit about you and you seem to be a good kid. … well. Ok, I realize it’s a bit odd to call you that when I am likely no older than you. I’m just used to everyone else calling you a ‘kid’ it’s sorta altered my perception a bit. My bad.

Regardless, you seem cool. I hope you don’t have too bad of a time with us in here, I know it’s a lot.

Curly misses you all. The medics.. I have a lot of gripes with them, to say the least …. I’d go into detail but I don’t know how much the others will tell you and I don’t wanna tell you the same things over and over… you’ll understand soon, though. God I feel like a Fae stereotype. Really leaning into the vague and mysterious shit, huh? (Though I’m not sure if I’d refer to myself as mysterious.) Apologies. Ive mostly been avoiding doing that. I hope I’m not creeping you out or anything. Hah, it might have been made worse with my many-eyed appearance, now that I think about it. Or maybe not. Either way, do talk to Swansea and Anya about this, us, I mean. And about Curly.

That’s all I have to say right now. Say hi to Swansea and Anya for me. And Curly if you actually get to see him and if we’re still with you by then.

Heya!!

Nice to meet you. You can just call me my name!! It's easy!

What was it like in the bossman's mind? I've always wondered what it's like in there, ahaha.

I'm so totally good!! Thanks for asking, dude. Wait, how old are you?

Wha?? Yeah, we're talking, I just— Mannnn. We're all kind of at a loss. Like, how is this even happening?

Hey, guys, Ari says hi.

They say hi back!

[oursecretescape]

Forgotten

words: 7.5k

genre: angst

If my fate is to disappear like this, then this is my last letter - Let go xx TW: Mentions of anxiety, panick attack. Trad: anjinho = little angel. a/n: Hello, my babies. This story is the translation of ''Forgotten'' that I recently posted. I tried to make it as angsty as possible, hope I have achieved my goal. My apologies before hand for any grammar erros. English is not my first language. I suggest you all read it along with the saddest song you like. Well... with all that being said, I wish you a happy reading (or sad? lmao. dunno). Tell me later what y'all thought. ♥

"Hey! We'll be there soon. Sorry for the delay. Today's rehearsal took longer than expected. We're leaving now."

Received at 5 in the afternoon.

I take a quick glance at the clock, and it shows eight in the evening. A heavy sigh escapes my lips as I feel my heart drumming slowly in my chest, each beat amplifying my growing sense of unease.

I get up from the couch and reach for the umbrella swaying gently in the wind coming from the window. I shut my eyes and take a deep breath, attempting to manage the sudden surge of fear and despair growing in my chest. My heart is racing, and my mind is in overdrive. A sense of mortality and suffocation, all rolled up into a single emotion: anxiety.

I sit down, sliding along the corridor wall. I try to control my breathing while attempting to steady the pounding of my heart. I think that dying in the hallway of a building would be so pointless and dull that it makes me laugh. A laugh, strained and devoid of emotion, but functional.

Heart rate normalizing. Labored, but controlled breathing. Mind stabilized.

I feel my face wet with tears. I wipe them away with trembling hands. When did I start crying? I rise from the floor, swaying a little. I take another deep breath and press the elevator button.

Dad always said that thinking of ridiculous things in difficult moments would help distract me. He was right, as he always was.

The cold, damp breeze of Seoul's streets warmed my soul. Its black skies, like darkness, covered with thick clouds, carried heavy raindrops that, upon impact, met my umbrella, creating beautiful melodies. It was comforting to hear the drops hitting the hard concrete; they reminded me that I wasn't crying alone.

It was thundering when I arrived at the destination. Bright streaks in the sky made the monument even gloomier. I found it ironic how everything matched my feelings. As I entered through the doors, I could already hear muffled cries. Sadness and suffering permeated the air, leaving me melancholic.

After a few more steps, I could see the person I love the most in the world greeting me with a beautiful smile. His eyes were shining like true rays of sunshine. I sit in front of him, sliding my fingers where his name rests. Lee Joon-Ho.

"Dad, I miss you so much," I say aloud, my voice cracking with emotion. "It's been incredibly lonely without you here. You have no idea how much I long for your company," I said, feeling the salty taste of tears. "I'm sorry I couldn't bring my friends to meet you like I promised. They're all caught up with their own lives, you know how it is. But don't worry, I'll bring them next time when they're less busy," I chuckle, with no emotion.

I hear footsteps behind me. I stand up excitedly, my heart pounding, but this time as a sign of comfort. They didn't forget. I feel my face stretch into a small smile, which is quickly dissolved.

"Hello, young lady. Good evening," the guard gives me a sympathetic smile. "I'm sorry to disturb you, but I need to ask you not to linger too long on your visit today. The rain caused some minor leaks, and we'll have to close a little earlier."

"Oh okay, I understand," I responded in a whisper.

"I'm sorry. You have 10 minutes. I'll leave you alone," he said, bowing and leaving promptly.

I turn again, sitting on the floor.

"Dad, today I have to leave a little earlier. But don't worry, I'll be back soon," I feel the tears fall like the drops falling from the sky. "I love you so much," I say between sobs. "I miss you."

I stand up in desperation, running out the door, feeling the drops fall freely on my body, without the protection of the umbrella. It was as if I was washing away all the bad feelings flowing from my being.

Arriving home, I take a hot shower and change into comfortable clothes. The room were in dense darkness. It was just the rain and me. And my cat, who was rubbing against my leg, lay on my lap."

I feel my chest inflate with comfort at the presence of the little being and smile at the gesture.

With the phone in hand, I try to distract my restless mind. I see the Twitter icon and feel my heart pounding as if I shouldn't do this, but I do it anyway. The blue screen shining amidst the darkness of the room soon turns into white, leaving my vision blurred. I switch to dark mode and continue scrolling through my feed.

Within a few seconds, I see something that breaks my heart even more. Among the bursts of excitement from Armys, there are videos of the boys, my boys, having fun in a restaurant with her. They forgot about the visitation day because of her. Again, the reason why I was put aside is her.

Knocks on the door make me forget the feelings of jealousy and anger that burned in my body like fire. I hesitated to remove the furry creature from my lap, as it seemed so comfortable. With a little effort, I get up and walk to the door. Upon opening it, I see Adora's face in a comforting smile. Seeing a friendly face, I feel my tears fall freely on my face once again. She immediately drops the bags she was carrying and envelops me in a loving hug.

I can't say for how long we hugged. What I can say is that it was exactly what I needed at that moment. I feel my chest getting lighter as if all the bad feelings had been carried away by the embrace, and I feel grateful to Adora for that.

Slowly I pull away, and I can see her smile return twice as big.

"Better?" she asks, making me nod.

I step aside, and she enters, placing the food bags on the coffee table. I close the door and follow her.

"What did you bring?" I ask curiously, making her laugh.

"I knew food would cheer you up," she laughs. "I brought a lot of junk food. Sweet and savory cookies, ice cream, sweet and sour pork, hamburgers, and sodas."

"Soda?" I wonder. "Since when do you like fizzy drinks? You always said they gave you gas," I hold back a laugh.

"The soda is for you. For me," she reaches into the bag, pulling out two green bottles of soju. "I brought alcohol," she says sticking her tongue out as she shakes the bottles.

I smile at her little dance, but seeing her gummy smile reminds me of him. I feel the sadness wanting to return when I remember the videos, but I cast aside any bad feelings as I grab the ice cream container.

"I didn't want to bring it up, but I'm really sorry I wasn't there. You know how it is at BigHit. I couldn't leave the production until the work was finished," she explains, and I smile.

"It's okay. I understand," I whisper. "The important thing is that you're here now."

"About the boys..." she starts to say, but I quickly cut her off.

"No, it's fine. I don't want to talk about it."

"But you need to, Cassie. You know that. Keeping it all inside will only make it worse. You know you can trust me. Vent it out. I'm here," she holds my hand.

I close my eyes, nodding. I search within myself for the strength to let out everything I'm feeling. Everything that's hurting me. I bite my lower lip and open my eyes. It's going to be okay.

"It's been some time since my friendship with the boys started cooling off," I begin, feeling her squeeze my hand in comfort. "You know I met Tae before he became famous, and he's the one who introduced me to the rest of the boys. Since then, we've had a very strong friendship. We weren't always together, especially with the tours and my work, but we were close, like a real family. No matter how long we went without seeing each other, nothing changed, until recently," I sigh. "Park Ji-Hye showed up about 2 months ago, a few weeks before my dad passed away. She auditioned for the dancer position and passed the test," Adora nods.

"Yeah, I saw her audition," she says.

"So, since that day, I saw her getting closer and closer to the boys. They were always talking about how cool and funny she is, and, you know, I was happy for them. A new friendship is always good, especially for them, who are famous and always have to be careful with opportunists. But it never crossed my mind that she would take the place I had in their lives," I smile sadly. "They started visiting me much less. Calling me much less. Inviting me to the dorm or out much less. Until the day I literally became nothing to them," I look at Adora, whose face is red with anger.

"These..." I interrupted her.

"You don't want to lose your job, right?" I ask, laughing. "And you can't blame them either. She became their official dancer, which means wherever they go, she's with them," I shrug. "She's with them all the time, and that surely made them closer to her. Even more than me," I feel my eyes welling up. "I don't want to lose them, but I feel like I already did."

"Hey," she shakes me. "Calm down, breathe. I know they messed up. And they messed up badly, but it doesn't mean they've forgotten about you," Adora says, trying to comfort me.

"They forgot me the day my dad died, Adora. I'll never forget that. I feel like on that day, I died twice. I remember calling them in desperation, crying, not knowing what to do, feeling like my world was falling apart," I pause as I feel all the emotions returning. "And they said they were coming, but they never showed up," I continued after a few seconds of silence. "After that, they sent me a message explaining that Park Ji-Hye had gotten hurt dancing and they were with her at the hospital," Adora nods.

"Yeah, I remember. She just fell on her butt, but she made a scene like she broke her back. Everyone was freaking out at the company, even Bang PD. But in the end, it was just drama," she laments.

"After that, they didn't even visit me. Not even once," I laughed with no emotion. "Right after, they forgot my birthday. I understand that I wasn't excited at all because of my dad, but it wouldn't hurt to receive some supportive or congratulatory messages from them. I was so upset that I sent some sad texts. In less than thirty minutes, they were knocking on my door. We cried a lot, but I felt like a part of me had come back to life and that everything was going to be okay," I sarcastically laughed. "I couldn't have been more wrong, could I?" I asked.

"Cassie..."

"It's okay. You don't have to say anything. After today, I finally understood," I grab a spoon. "They found someone better than me. Someone who can be with them all the time and help them when they need it. I'm just sad that person isn't me. Not anymore," I shove the spoonful of ice cream into my mouth, to prevent the tears stuck in my throat from coming out.

For the rest of the night, Adora didn't bring up the subject again, and I was grateful for that.

A random movie played on TV, but my mind was far away. I looked to the side and saw Adora sleeping with her mouth open. A piece of cookie rested on her cheek while her hand lay above her head. I silently chuckled, covering us and then turning off the TV.

A distant ringing sound caught my attention. I tapped around the couch until I found the phone under the cushion. My eyes automatically closed from the sudden contact with the bright screen, but just as they closed, they widened.

After the first notification, thousands started to show up. My heart throbbed in my chest as my body was flooded with nervousness.

"Min PD: Cassie, please tell me you're there."

"Joonie: Please respond. We're sorry. It wasn't our intention not to show up..." The message appeared cut off because I hadn't unlocked the phone yet.

"Hobierto: Believe us, Cassie. Please, we know you're awake. Answer us."

"Jinnie: Cassandra, we would never do anything to hurt you. Please let us explain."

"Mochi: Answer the phone."

After that message, a group call popped up on the screen. I stared at it, battling the urge to answer. I sighed deeply and threw the phone back onto the couch because no matter how much I wanted to talk to them, I was still hurt. I didn't want to answer and end up fighting. Saying things without thinking and ending up in a worse situation. The best thing to do now was to rest.

I made myself comfortable on the bed we had arranged on the floor, and put the pillow over my head to block out the notifications. When I didn't see any changes, I pressed the power button on my phone and confirmed it right away. I lay back down and took a deep breath. Tomorrow is a new day. Everything will be okay. ——————————————————

It wasn't even dawn when I heard knock after knock. Disoriented, I got up, searching for where the noise was coming from until my feet led me to the front door. I looked at the clock hanging on the wall and got irritated to see it was six past two in the morning.

I swung the door open, ready to argue with whoever had woken me up so early after going to bed so late, but I lost my voice when I saw the seven people I loved most staring at me ty forlornly.

I felt two arms embrace me tightly, followed by two more until I lost count. Desperate whispers for forgiveness echoed in my ear, making me feel loved... until a certain moment. Memories of what had happened the night before made me wake up from the sleep I didn't know I was in. Slowly, I distanced myself from the seven, able to see the tears streaming down some of their faces and sadness emanating from the others.

"Cassie..." Jimin starts. "I'm so sorry. It wasn't our intention to leave you alone in such a difficult time. Please, believe us."

"We didn't come here to lie to you, Cassandra..." Namjoon says. "It really wasn't our intention. I know this is going to sound completely wrong, but we made a promise to Ji-Hye. We promised to take her out to celebrate her birthday since she's far from her family and would probably celebrate alone," I try to hide a grimace.

They couldn't miss her birthday, but could miss mine.

"As soon as we finished eating, we were going to come straight here. And we really were, Cas, really. But the company called saying we had to go there to finalize the last details for the album. It was then that we sent several messages in the group, but you didn't see any."

"That's why we're here," Taehyung says, interrupting Namjoon. "Cassie, listen to me. You're one of the most important people in my life. Sorry if lately my actions haven't shown that, but please, please, Cas, don't be mad at us. I couldn't bear to know that you're upset because of me," he whispers.

"Go to the dorms tonight. Let's talk about this calmly," Hoseok suggests.

I remain silent for a few minutes.

"Come on, please. Hum? Hum?'' Tae shakes my arm. ''You'll go, right? Say yes," he asks.

"Okay," I sigh deeply. "I'll go."

I feel arms wrapping around my body again, and I relax, enjoying the contact. This time, the hug lasted only a few seconds. The boys said goodbye, saying they needed to be at the company in a few hours. 

"Tonight at 7. We'll be waiting for you," Yoongi said and then left. 

I closed the door, trying to contain my excitement and the obvious smile on my face. As I turned to go back to bed, I was startled to see only Adora's head peeking out from behind the couch. She had a radiant smile on her face as she looked at me with raised eyebrows.

"Shut up," I say, making her laugh. ——————————————————

I look at the clock on the wall. It's 8:07 in the evening. Damn, I was late. I could already hear Adora's voice slowly emerging in my mind, saying that I should have listened to her and picked out my outfit earlier. Shaking my head, I focus on finishing getting ready. The last thing I needed right now was a lecture from my own mind.

I hear knocks and the doorbell ringing repeatedly.

"Shit," I mutter as I hop over to the door.

I try to put on my sock while walking to the door, but my unfailing plan soon becomes fallible when I trip over my own hand and fall on the floor. The knocks and the doorbell grow louder, and I feel irritation creeping in. "ALRIGHT, I'M COMING," I yell and pick myself up.

I walk back to the door with a pout and my hair completely tousled, covering my face. I take a deep breath, fix my hair, put on a fake smile, and finally open the door. As I see the seven people I love most in the world looking at me with confused faces, I feel my smile turn genuine, and the earlier irritation vanish as if it had never existed.

"Is everything okay? Why didn't you come?" I hear Taehyung ask as he scrutinizes me from head to toe."

"What happened? Something serious?" Seokjin asks, and I shake my head.

"No, guys, sorry. I almost died trying to choose a good outfit to wear and ended up running late, sorry," I explained laughing.

''What do you mean you almost died?" Jungkook asks as I watch their faces turn into a grimace."

"It was nothing, really," I reassure, taking a quick glance at Jungkook, who was holding back his laugh.

He knew it. I am sure he did.

"Are you sure you didn't... you know... fall on your ass?" he smirks. "I'm sure I heard a huge..."'' 

"Hobi," I said excitedly, "What do you have there?" I pointed to the bags he was carrying while Jungkook laughed.

That little prick.

''Food," he says, shaking the bags. ''We know how much you love eating''.

I chuckle and make way for them to enter. In a few minutes, the food was already on the coffee table, and an improvised bed was set up on the living room floor. I change into more comfortable clothes and join them.

"Look, before we start, we want you to know how sorry we are," Yoongi says.

"Yes... Sorry for not being there on the visitation's day," Jimin adds. "If there's anything you want to say, anything that's bothering you, please let us know. We'll fix it all, Cassie. ''he holds my hand.'' We want things to go back to how they used to be."

"We're here for you, Cas," Jin finishes, and I smile weakly.

I pause for a moment, feeling that it still wasn't the right time. So, I just sigh and shake my head.

"It's okay, guys. Really," I open with a smile. "Let's just watch this movie already. I'm dying to see who'll be the first one to cry and shake in fear like a little kitten." I say, trying to change the subject, and smirk when I realize it worked.

"I am sure it won't be me," Hoseok says with confidence. "Cause you know..." he shows off his muscles. "I'm a man," he pauses for a minute.

It doesn't take long until Hoseok's laughter fills the room, making everyone laugh.

"Who listens to him talking like this, doesn't even think the Gladiator sandal outside belongs to him," Jungkook says, making Hoseok look at him flabbergasted.

''Hey, what do you mean by that?'' he asks shookedt. ''It's fashionable''

"Yeah, Hobi. Sure is," Yoongi says, patting his shoulder.

''Why I don't believe you are being honest?'' Hoseok asks putting his finger under his chain. ''I'm going to expose you on Twitter. Or should I say X?''

''What? Are you into Xvideos?'' Namjoon asks as he returns. 

Everybody stops and looks at him. When did he even leave to begin with?

"What were you doing, Joonie?" I ask, smirking at him. "Were you in the bathroom?" he nods as the rest of the boys laugh.

''Now we know why you are thinking naughtiness'' Jimin says.

Namjoon's face turns red as he shakes his hands nervously. He tries to sit down on the couch but somehow ends up falling on the ground. We can see his cellphone flying around the living room as he throws his arms in the air in an attempt to regain his balance, but it doesn't work, as expected.

''No need to be nervous, Joonie'' I say. ''Everybody masturbates once in a while.''

''Do we?'' Yoongi looks at me suspiciously.

"I mean," I chuckle nervously. "How did we even get to this conversation? Let's just watch the movie for God's sake."

"Nah, nah. Don't you try coming up with excuses," Tae says abruptly. "What do you mean by that? Are you dating someone?" Jungkook seems to be having fun as he opens a beer can.

''What? Me? Dating?'' I laugh. ''Not even close. But I can't say the same about Jungkook, can I?'' he chokes.

''Uh? What you on about?'' he asks as he cleans his mouth. ‘’Seven days a week, huh?’’ he burst into laughter. He pauses for a minute before smirking. "Hm, why's that, baby girl?" he says, leaning in my direction. "Are you jealous?" he asks, putting a strand of my hair behind my ear. "Do you want me to…" he bites his lower lip. "You know," he says putting his finger on my lips. I can already feel the cringeness and second-hand embarrassment traveling throughout my body as the rest of the boys laugh. This prick. ‘’You really need to get out from twitter,’’ I say, shoving him away. ‘’The next step is to put up a black and white profile picture and call yourself a webdom’’ He raises both of his middle fingers in my direction before turning his attention back to the beer can. ‘’Are you guys done? Can I finally play this damn movie?’’ Yoongi asks, making everybody nod.

––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

Time passed quickly, and before I knew it, it was time for them to leave. Unfortunately, they couldn't stay overnight. They had to leave very early the next day due to their schedule. 

I hesitated to get up; I didn't want to accompany them to the door out of sheer laziness, and feeling Taehyung shaking me with his foot made me even more sluggish.

"If you keep doing that, I swear I'll fall asleep," I say, making him huff.

"Come on, sloth imitation. Take us to the door," Jimin says, but gives up when he sees Jungkook lying next to me.

"Jungkook, I'm sure you really like your video game, right?" Seokjin asks, and in a jump, Jungkook gets up.

"Are you really not taking us to the door?" Yoongi asks, and I remain silent. "Okay then."

When I open my eyes to see what he was going to do, I feel an arm gather and squeeze my legs while a hand starts tickling my feet furiously.

"JESUS!" I scream in surprise.

I heard laughter as I fought for my life. The strange feeling that tickling brought made me confused if I was laughing because I found it funny or if it was fear messing up my nervous system. The laughter increased as I writhed and screamed for help.

"YOONGI, YOU JERK!" I said without realizing that I was actually yelling.

"Weren't you sleepy?" Yoongi asks. "So, I'm trying to help you."

"WAIT UNTIL I GET UP, YOU PIECE OF BROWN SUGAR, I'M GOING TO END YOU."

"Are you going to take us to the door?" he asks.

"OKAY, OKAY, I'LL TAKE YOU, JUST STOP FOR THE LOVE OF GOD," I yell.

I feel my body calm down and my brain start functioning again as the tickling ceases. I looked at Yoongi who was laughing while sniffing his hand.

"Ew, you have smelly feet," he says, and I get up.

"Come here, you little jerk," I chase after him as he runs away mocking me.

After a few seconds, I could already feel that the 70% of water in my body had evaporated and the air in my lungs was scarce. When did my body become so sedentary?

"Idiot," I curse Yoongi who laughs. "I hate you."

"I love you too, beautiful thing," I hear him say.

Finally, I accompany them to the door. After a lazy farewell, I see them about to leave, but a click in my mind makes me stop them.

"As you know, I graduated from college, but since it was at the time when my father died, I didn't have any enthusiasm to celebrate. Adora recommended that I have a celebration the day after tomorrow night, since it's the weekend. Just to not let it go unnoticed. So... you guys are invited."

"We'll be here, don't worry," Namjoon says, and I smile nodding.

We say goodbye again, and this time, I see them leave. Seeing the elevator door close, I go back inside the house. The smile on my face never leaves me for a second, and finally, after so long, I could feel that things would really be okay.

––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

Thanks to Adora, everything was organized on time. The food was ordered since neither she nor I wanted anyone to die from food poisoning. The time we ended up in the hospital the day we cooked for each other was enough. No need to repeat the dose.

I check the time on my phone and see it's 8pm. They would arrive at any moment, so I sit next to Adora on the couch to chat until then.

☂ ☂

Some time passed, and the boys still hadn't arrived. I look at the time again and see that it's 9:46. I try not to think the worst and choose to believe they would be here soon.

☂ ☂

I sigh deeply at seeing what time it is: 11:14. I try to ignore Adora's pitying look and get up from the couch. I suppress the tears once again. I am tired of crying. And more than ever, I realize that they don't deserve my tears.

"Cassandra..." Adora calls me, and I look at her. "I'm sure there's an explanation for this. Something must have happened at the company, and they couldn't let us know." I shake my head.

Something inside me told me that wasn't it, and I decided to trust my intuition.

"Adora, can you take me to the dorm?," I ask softly. "I don't think I'll have the courage to go alone," I weakly smile, and she nods.

"Of course, my love. Of course..." ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

The car journey lasted less than I wished. My mind was constantly clouded by memories, anxiety making the painful memories hurt twice as much. I laughed in disbelief. I wondered what I had done wrong to deserve this.

"Thank you for bringing me," I look at Adora. "And thank you for always being by my side in difficult times. If I felt supported and loved, be sure that it's all because of you. You're an amazing person, Adora, and I hope you know that." she smiles.

"Regardless of what happens there, remember that you are enough. Not for them, but for yourself. Don't belittle yourself for them, Cassie, and don't let the love you feel for them speak louder than your self-love. If you survived two hellish months without their presence, be sure that you can live your life and be immensely happy in the future without them. I guarantee you that," I feel her hand squeezing mine for comfort, and I smile. "I'll be waiting for you here," I nod.

I get out of the car, feeling Adora's words take effect. I walk bravely towards the towering building, ignoring every feeling of nostalgia trying to invade me. I couldn't lose focus now.

Arriving on their dorm's floor, I feel my heart skip a beat. I pause for a moment and try to put my thoughts and feelings in order. Seeing no result, I lean against the wall and try in every way to avoid a panic attack that was about to come. As if it were a heavenly help, I feel my phone vibrate. With trembling hands, I pick it up and see a message from Adora.

"Don't forget, you are strong and capable. And never for a moment think you are alone, because I'm here for you."

I clutch my phone tightly. Adora is right. I am strong and I am capable. I can do this because regardless of what happens, I will be okay.

I take a deep breath, gathering all the strength and courage from my being, and knock on the door. I freeze when I realize what I've done, but I quickly compose myself. I will be okay.

A few seconds passed and no one answered, so I knocked again. But just like the first time, there was no response. After the third attempt, I decide to enter. Typing the password on the door, I entered the dormitory.

Upon realizing that there was no one in the main hall, the pounding of my heart calmed down. I begin to walk through the dormitory, recalling every good moment I had with my boys. I feel the sadness emanating in my chest once again.

I really didn't want to lose them.

As I walked down the corridor, I heard voices coming from the kitchen. I started walking with firm steps, but I felt my legs waver when I heard a female voice among their voices. It was her.

"Jungkook-oppa, you're so silly," I hear her delicate laughter, feeling jealousy burning in my chest.

It should be me there.

"The silly you love," I hear Jungkook reply.

I could hear the happiness in his voice. It was as if they didn't need anyone else at the moment but her. And that made me hate her, but my own mind scolded me. She is not worthy of my hatred. She is as innocent as I am in this story. She did nothing to hurt me, so why would I hate her?

"Hinnie," I hear Hoseok's voice.

Hinnie...

"Try it and tell me what you think."

There was a moment of pause until applause and sounds of appreciation were made.

"It's amazing, oppa," she says. "You really keep improving in the kitchen every day."

Unable to bear it anymore, I think of simply turning around and leaving, but something catches my attention. And it was precisely there, in that moment, that I regretted staying.

"Why do I feel like we're forgetting something?" I hear Taehyung say, and I feel my body tremble.

Once again, there was a pause until someone shouted.

"Shit, really," Jimin said. "We forgot to take the drinks out of the freezer."

I feel my heart break, as if that were possible. I let out a disbelieving laugh and finally come out from where I was hiding.

"And try more of this," Hoseok suddenly stops. "Cassie..."

I hear the sound of something falling to the ground. Soon, everyone was staring at me wide-eyed. I repress the urge to laugh. I realize how messy my whole body was the moment I wanted to laugh and not cry.

"Oh no," Jimin says, as if remembering something. "The party."

With that said, everyone becomes even more desperate. Seeing them approaching, I panic.

"Don't come near,"

They quickly stop. I see them not knowing what to do. And it wasn't just them. I end up getting disoriented with so much pressure. Where did my courage go when I needed it most?

"Um... what's going on?" she asks, and I close my eyes.

It's not her fault. It's not her fault...

"Ji-Hye, could you leave us alone for a moment?" Namjoon asks.

"Yes, of course. It's time for me to leave anyway," she gets up. "I'll see you later," she says bowing both to them and to me.

After she left, silence hung in the air. I tried to hold back my laughter, but when I saw everyone's confused faces, I knew I had failed. When I noticed that no one was going to say anything, I took the initiative.

"Do you know what's more disappointing? It's that I really thought this time would be different," I shrug. "I guess I was wrong, wasn't I?"

"Cas..."

"Do you remember when you asked me if I had something to say, Jinnie? If something was hurting me? Well, I do, and I hope I won't be interrupted."

With no response, I continue.

"I feel like I died. It's been a while since I am just surviving," I start. "The fact that you didn't come to the visitation isn't the part that hurts the most, it's that you weren't there when my father passed away. I remember how desperate I was, and the only people I could think of were you. But you weren't there. Damn, you didn't even call." I whisper as tears fall freely down my face. "When I found myself alone in the hospital, realizing that the person who adopted me and chose me to love had died, that was my first death. The person who loved me, who looked beyond language or race barriers, and who taught me everything I know had suddenly left, without even giving me a chance to say goodbye. Do you know how I felt? Devastated."

I pause for a moment. Melancholy takes over my body as I recall all the feelings I felt that day, and for a moment, I allow myself to cry all I needed. I sob so much that I thought I might choke. Without caring about looks or pity, I just allowed myself, knowing that everything would be okay.

"When I called the only people I thought I could count on, and they told me they were coming, I didn't feel so alone," I let out a humorless laugh. "Until I realized that those people never arrived. The people who always said they would be there for me weren't there when I needed them the most. That was my second death," I look at Jin. "Don't say these things to anybody if they are not coming from your heart. Don't hurt anyone else by saying you have their backs or that you will always be there for them when in reality it's not the truth."

I look at each one. Their gazes were distant, as if they were reliving every moment. 

"You know, I don't want you to think I'm mad at Park Ji-Hye. Actually, quite the opposite. I was really happy when you said you met someone nice. Someone who really cared about you and genuinely wanted your friendships. I know how tough it is for you to find real friendships with all the fame, so I felt fulfilled too. I remember telling daddy excitedly, and he laughed at my excitement, happy for you and for me. Right after that, I lost him, and little by little, I lost you too, like I was meant to be alone," I smile weakly. "I am sorry if I'm being selfish, but that's how I feel. You guys forgot my birthday. Forgot the visitation days, and to top it off, you forgot my graduation party. It's like you replaced me as if I never even existed in your lives, and that really hurts. Really.''

I finish, and only then I realize they were crying with me. Some didn't have the courage to meet my gaze. We spent a few minutes without anyone saying anything. The only thing filling the air was the sound of our sniffles and sobs.

"On the day your father died," Namjoon begins. "We felt like we had lost a family member because he was, in fact, one. I am truly sorry, Cas, but for me, Park Ji-Hye's fall was an escape. I didn't want to face reality. I wouldn't know how to react to the loss of someone so special, and I also wouldn't know how to act with you," he looks at me.

"On your birthday, we thought you would like to be alone. It would be the first without your father, so we didn't know what to do, Cassie. We panicked," Jimin sighs. "But now I realize how you felt," he laughs humorlessly. "My God, I never thought I'd be such a horrible friend. What a disappointment," he whispers, covering his face with his hand.

"On visitation days," I look at Hoseok. "I confess that I clung to any opportunity not to go, Cas," he cries. "Not because I didn't love you. I love you, and I love you very much, but I never knew how to react to death. The only two times I entered a cemetery, I spent the rest of the week feeling bad, with depressive thoughts. I also couldn't let Armys worry. I didn't want their 'Sun' to lose its brightness. I am so sorry for not being able to tell you this before. I didn't want to seem selfish."

I suppress a disbelieving laugh.

"Hearing all this, I realize how futile our apologies seem," Yoongi laughs weakly. "But they are true, Cassie... I understand what Hoseok says. You know about my history with depression, don't you?" he asks, and I nod. "It's the same thing for me. If I enter a cemetery, my thoughts don't stop. Some come in a worse form, and I feel like I'm going crazy."

"We were selfish, Cas," Seokjin says. "I was. I didn't want Armys to see us sad because I knew the chaos it would be. I have no words to express how special you are to me," he pauses. "Cassie, you are my sister, my family. You weren't crying alone; I cried with you. I just couldn't show it. I knew it would be worse if I saw you cry, just like I am seeing now."

There was a moment of silence. Until his voice broke.

"I am sorry," Taehyung says. "Damn, I don't even know what to say, Cassie. You are one of the most precious people I have ever met. I remember how you stayed with us through thick and thin. I also remember how happy you were for us at the beginning, and I know the genuine happiness you felt when we received our first award. You stood by my side when my grandma passed away. How could I not be by your side too? My God," he puts his hand on his head in an act of despair. "You stayed by our side when we thought about disbanding. It was you who helped us see why we are here, who helped us find reasons to stay," he looks at me anxiously. "How could I be so selfish?"

"We thought that regardless of anything, you would always be by our side. That you would understand us, even with our deplorable attitudes. We always thought we would have you next to us, so we neglected you," Yoongi shakes his head. I feel like he answered more to Taehyung than to me. "Damn, anjinho, I'm sorry," I lower my head as I hear him call me by the nickname I loved so much.

"The fact that we started a new friendship also influenced us," Jungkook says. "We were so excited that someone, besides you, wanted a friendship without interest that without realizing it, we put aside the one that had been with us from the beginning," I hear Jungkook say muffled, as his two hands covered his face.

"We don't deserve you, Cassandra. We left you at the most difficult moment of your life, and yet you never stopped loving us," Yoongi pulls his own hair, a habit he always did when he was nervous. "We can't let you leave thinking that we don't care about you because, Cassie, that would be a complete lie. With the stress of the comeback, things only got worse. It was rehearsal, recording, agendas to fulfill, productions, trips, tours. Our minds were a mess, and Park Ji-Hye tried to help us from there. We know she's not the one to blame, and it's not your fault either. It's ours and only ours. I know this will seem like a lame excuse, but I didn't want to let you go thinking that you aren't precious to us. You are Cas. And you always will be."

I close my eyes and try to control my breathing. If before I felt bad, now I feel ten times worse. It seemed like I didn't even know them anymore. The feeling of comfort they made me feel was replaced by anguish. By sadness.

I open my eyes, and for the last time, I look at my boys. I realize that Taehyung understood my gaze.

"Cassie, please... Please don't..." Taehyung starts, but is interrupted by Seokjin.

"Don't you dare say what I think you're going to say."

"But I can't lose her, Hyung. I can't lose her," Taehyung says, crouching down.

I think about going to him, but then I retreat my body. If I do that, I know my heart will weaken, and at the moment, the only person I need to think about is myself.

"I'm sorry, hyung, but I'll be selfish," Namjoon says to Seokjin, and I look at him confused. "I don't know what your decision will be, Cassie. I'll support you, even if you choose to leave without our friendship. But I beg you... Cassandra, I implore you, try to find in yourself a little piece that doesn't want to give up on us. It doesn't have to be now. I want you to heal, and I don't care how long it takes. The only thing I ask is that you don't forget us and don't give up on us. Come back to us when you feel ready. I don't want to lose you, Cas. I..."

"I really hope you find a way to forgive us, Cassie. But understand that if you don't, we'll understand. You, more than anyone else, have every right to hate us," Yoongi says, interrupting Namjoon. "I hope you don't forget about us because, with all my heart, we won't forget about you."

I feel my heart shattering with every tear that falls on their faces. I smile weakly. I will really miss them.

I bow in a sign of respect, and as I return to my normal position, I raise my hand to my heart.

"Thank you, my boys. For all the good moments. You were a very important part of my life, which I will carry forever. I will never forget about all of you," I smile faintly. "How could I forget my first true friendships? My first loves?" I whisper.

I take a breath and smile. A true smile. A smile of gratitude.

"Regardless of what happened, you guys deserve nothing but love and happiness. Don't let anyone say otherwise. Even far away, please remember I will always be cheering for your success. And whenever you feel unloved, remember I love you. Very, very much.'' I can hear their sobs getting stronger. ''Don't think I blame you for what happened; I think I finally understand that life has its ups and downs. People come and unfortunately go," I see Taehyung desperate, trying to find something to say. I look away. I need to be strong. "I hope that every day your friendship with Park Ji-Hye grows, and that you take from all of this a lesson.''

I take a deep breath, looking at them for the last time.

''From the bottom of my heart... I wish you to be immensely happy."

In a gesture, I send thousands of kisses. I see Tae wanting to approach, so I turn around and start walking towards the exit, and this time, I don't cry. I feel the weight of sadness in my chest, but the weight of peace for having put everything I felt out was greater. And for the first time in two months, I believe it when I say that everything will be okay.