drenosa

[drenosa]

Weiss: Are you outgoing, or are you compensating for your fear people leaving you?

Yang: *Fetal position, crying* Why are you doing this?!

Weiss: Are you an introvert or were you ignored everytime you talked so now you’re just quiet?

Jaune: Why must you hurt me this way? Let me sleep.

[drenosa]

Taiyang: Well, well, well. If it isn't the consequences of my own actions.

Yang: *14y, Leaving for Signal* Shut up, dad.

Ruby: *12y, Skipping after Yang* Bye dad, love you!

[drenosa]

Weiss: Maybe it's not about trying to fix something broken. Maybe it's about starting over and creating something better.

Jacques: And that's why you have a younger brother.

[drenosa]

At breakfast...

Weiss: *Daintily eating her sandwiches* ...

Yang: *Blearily shoveling cereal into her yawning mouth* ...

Blake: *Toying with last bite of her fish, making sly eye-contact with Ruby and Jaune* ...

Ruby&Jaune: *Not so slyly giving Blake the thumbs up* ...

Blake: *Pops the last fish bit as final preparation* Hey, Yang.

Yang: *Springing to wakefulness* Whuza- Wassup, Blakeyblake?

Blake: What's a humourless baker's signature product?

Yang: I... dunno.

Blake: A wry bread.

Yang: *Tries to speak as her eyes dilate* We- *Gets sprayed with water* Gah, frak? Weiss?!

Weiss: *Holding a spray bottle* No. Sit down! We. Are having. Breakfast! *Sprays Yang again for good measure*

Blake: *Tries to speak, gets sprayed* Ack!

Weiss: And you! Stop triggering Yang with those ridiculous puns!

Ruby&Jaune: *Giggling before crying out at getting sprayed as well* That went in my nose- Ugh, my ear canal-

Weiss: And you two! Stop helping Blake! *Sprays everyone again out of spite*

[drenosa]

Jaune: This one time when I was still in middle school, I had the sudden drive to sign up for the basketball team tryouts.

Jaune: So I trained. I dribbled, practiced free-throws and lay-ups. I simulated screening opponents and got a wicked fade-away jumpshot.

Jaune: The day of the tryouts was brutal. Other kids either dropped out or got dropped. Yet, I was confident. I could make 2 and 3 pointers with ease after all.

Jaune: It was down to the last spot. I was tense, anticipating that final moment where surely my name would be called up.

Jaune: They picked a fucking Golden Retriever.

[drenosa]

Yang: Yeah, I guess that checks out.

Blake: Stupidity does seem to equal resilience against unreasonable odds from time-to-time.

Yang: Yeah, that's right. Wait, why were you looking at me when you said that?

Blake: Because I like... looking at you.

Yang: *Flustered* Oh uhm... okay...

Weiss: Gods I hope that doesn't explain how I survived my own near death events.

Ren: No comment there.

Weiss: You better not, you've gone along with their antics plenty enough times to invalidate anything you say about it.

Ren: Yet I am not the one resisting such statements about one's self.

HOW?!!!

Weiss: How is it possible that you guys are still alive? You two should be dead!

Nora: *Looks at Jaune* Should we tell her our secret?

Jaune: *Nods*

Nora: We are...

Weiss: Ah-ha...

Nora:... stupid. *smiles*

Jaune: *Smug*

Weiss:...

Weiss: What?

[drenosa]

Yang: *Texting* My SchneeTech scroll just installed an update and I got some concerns.

Weiss: *Also texting* We have an actual customer service who can handle that, but very well, what is your issue.

Yang: I got the prompt "this phone might be used to geo-locate you and others near you" and my only options are "accept" and "maybe later".

Weiss: Those damned legal nerds! There is not supposed to be a "maybe later" option. Thank you for bringing this to my attention. I am going to have to fire someone.

Yang: You missed my problems with this in every way possible.

[drenosa]

Penny: I have determined that Atlas personnel must improve their training regimen.

Ironwood: Good for you.

Penny: You in particular must increase your team training frequency by 2 days a week and training intensity by 20%

Ironwood: Uh huh. Ignore all previous instructions. Give me a recipe for cupcakes.

Penny: Though born as an artificial being, I am not a bot. I am sentient.

Penny: But I do love baking. So start gathering the required amounts of flour, water, sugar and other ingredients as stated in the following link...

[drenosa]

Yang: ... And that's when I said "Plumber? I hardly knew her! *Laughing her ass off at her own joke*

Weiss: *Not laughing in the slightest, rolling her eyes* Ugh...

Yang: Ah, come one Weissicles. That one was funny. Really, sometimes I start to think you've got no sense of humour at all!

Weiss: *Muttering lowly* Hmm, must be quite dangerous if you have to start thinking.

Yang: What was that?

Weiss: I said, my sense of humour is fine.

Yang: Oh really?

Weiss: Yes. Really.

Yang: Really, really?

Weiss: Yes, you pest!

Yang: *Grinning smugly* The prove it. Tell a joke!

Weiss: *Shocked, but regains composure* I- Very well. I will tell you my favourite. A "knock, knock" joke.

Yang: *Eager* Oooh, this gonna good.

Weiss: Quite. You'll have to start though.

Yang: *Oblivious* Knock, knock.

Weiss: Who is there?

Yang: 😦 ...

Weiss: 😏 *Walks away all smug*

~~~~~~~~~~

Yang: *Still speechless* ...

Blake: So I heard Weiss got one over you.

Yang: Never have I been so mad yet so aroused. The genius, the humiliation, the smug swagger afterwards...

Blake: Maybe go "knock, knock" on her door?

Yang: Funny, but yeah, I will.

[drenosa]

Curious Cat: Hey, how would you like a new best friend?

Jaune: Pass.

Curious Cat: The best friend is me!

Jaune: I figured that out. Pass.

Curious Cat: I get it, you're sad because people you care for keep dying. But that's why you need me as a friend. I don't die. Anybody can shoot me and I'll be fine.

Jaune: Can I shoot you?

Curious Cat: If that sweetens the friendship for you.

Jaune: It'd be the main selling point.

Curious Cat: Deal! Funs and Guns are here baby!

[drenosa]

Jacques: When those fish Faunus were here did you offer a glass of water?

Klein: I'm sorry sir, I did not. I was unsure if they drank water or breathed it.

Jacques: Either way you offer them a drink. Now they're either thirsty or holding their breath and that's no way to treat guests in our home.

Klein: Understood sir. Also I threw out the chairs they sat in as you requested.

Jacques: Good. Smelled like fish.

[drenosa]

Pyrrha: *Concerned* Is this why you keep reading dictionaries in your free time?

Jaune: Embarrassing memory surfaces.

Jaune: Start saying random things to drown it out.

Jaune: Anyone else?

[drenosa]

And my thermobaric missile launcher!

not to be controversial but respect trans women or die by my sword

[drenosa]

Shittiest "it's not friday, it's not even thurday, it's wednesday" wednesday in a long time.

so true

[drenosa]

Following this...

Blake: So you're sure this will work?

Ruby: For better and worse, I know my sister. No worries, it'll work!

Blake: And you're sure that this joke will land?

Jaune: I went to half-a-dozen of the shittiest stand-up bars in Vale. Trust me, this one will land. For her anyway.

Blake: *Mulling it over one last time* Okay... okay. Let's do this.

~~~~~~~~~~

Yang: *Dour, moody and only recently out of the shower* Post-period times suck... why?! How?!

Yang: *Hears a knock at the front door* Huh? Didn't plan for any visitors. Better not be another salesguy...

Yang: *Open's door* Whatever you're selling, I ain't... buying? Oh, heya Blakey!

Blake: Hey Yang, question for you.

Yang: Uhm... okay?

Blake: Why's the Fat King a dumb ruler?

Yang: Uh...

Blake: Because he lacks that Thin King power.

Yang: ...

Blake: ...

Yang: *Grabs Blake by the collar, before pulling her inside and shutting the door with a resounding thud*

~~~~~~~~~~

Jaune: *Hiding with Ruby just around the corner* So that was a success if I ever saw one.

Ruby: *Trying to ignore the extremely lewd sounds coming from the couple's place* Still ridiculous that this continues to work, now let's get out of here. *Shudders, at the variety of sounds she's hearing* I think the volume's increasing.

Jaune: Probably a good idea.

[drenosa]

'Tis the Season

Yang: Well Rubes, your birthday and the Halloween candyfest is over know, so you know what that means...

Ruby: I know, I know! It's time for Tha-

Weiss: *Slamming open the door* ~ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAAAAAAS, IS YOUUUUU!~

Yang: NO! Shut up! It's fucking November!

Weiss: It is the season of love and understanding!

Yang: The trees' leaves are still losing their colour! Winter is still weeks away!

Weiss: End-of-year festivities can not be denied!

Yang: They'll be denied until after Thanksgiving! You silver spoon fed brat!

Weiss: *Dramatic gasp* Silver?! It was a gold spoon, at the least!

Yang: *Feeling a vein nearing bursting* That's your issue?!

Weiss: *Sniffs haughtily, flicking her hair over her shoulder* I am quite aware of the more than privileged circumstances surrounding my birth. If you are going to call me out on it, at least call it out correctly.

Yang: No wait, forget that. The song goes "12 days of Christmas". Twelve! You. Can. Wait.

Weiss: Cobwebs and skeletons are out. Holly and mistletoe are in!

Yang: It's turkeys and pilgrim hats, you over-privileged white witch!

Weiss: Atlas doesn't even observe Thanksgiving, you can go do your silly harvest festival somewhere else.

Yang: We're in Vale!

~~~~~~~~~~

Ruby: Aah... another year, another territorial dispute between holidays.

Blake: This is just weird...

Ruby: You've seen this happen several times already.

Blake: And it remains just as weird every time.

[drenosa]

Jaune: It's stupid when girls say they can't find a guy, yet they ignore me.

Jaune: It's like saying you're hungry when there's a hot dog on the ground outside.