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The problem: you are Michael Bublé, it is 2011 and you would like to make a Christmas album. Your producers want you to sing the classic Christmas song "Santa, Baby," but if you sing it as intended, it's gonna come off as, like, super gay
The proposed solution: you will rewrite the lyrics to the song to imply a platonic friendship between yourself and the man in red, making Santa a real bro who's gonna help you get laid by some hunnies, with cool, masculine gifts like a steel blue convertible, a yacht and tickets to a Canadian hockey game
The reality: the combination of the eroticism of your voice and the inherently sexual vibes of the song means you create a story about a closeted gay guy desperately repressing his desire to - as the kids say - fuck that old man, no homo'ing your way through asking him to trim your tree, promising you'll be such a good boy if he treats you well, and begging him to slide down your chimney
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Other Leo’s being made leader: *believes it’s the perfect role for them & will base a majority of their sense of self on their role as the leader*
Rise Leo being made leader: *Does NOT want to be leader, wants Raph to take the role back, panicked when his dad told him he was leader & it took a literal alien invasion for him to accept the role*
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me, shaking and nauseous: i don’t feel that good
one of my medieval peasant hallucinations keeping me company: mæg ic forleten cwycgan ænne fulle mete?
me: henry i don’t think i’d be able to keep it down at this point
my other medieval peasant hallucination: henry you know how to speak modern english. stop being pretentious
henry: nē ic wile nāt
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this absolutely 100% goes so hard and i will be making it my personality <3
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tfw ur uhhh """"partner""" uno reverses your kabedon
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“be stubborn about your goals but flexible about your methods.” the best advice I’ve ever received.
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Timebomb-Jayvik dynamic is so funny bc we have:
Begrudgingly acknowledge each other despite that one time Ekko haggle the fuck out Jayce and Jayce accidentally polluted the underground
Two strikes and they started throwing slurs at each other
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Powder learned her dance moves from her mother.
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People on my insta Caitvi gif were commenting Catlyn so I felt inspired to make this
Happy endings for everyone!!!!! 🫶💛
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"What are you waiting for? He's your dad too."
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having online friends who are busy is just like. I LOVE YOU. I miss you. YOU GOT THIS. I'm giving you space to work. I LOVE YOU.
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Pls pls pls more arcane dnd au doodles pls pls pls
Here you are kind sir
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society and makeup companies to women at all times: you have to wear makeup, like you literally have to or else you look like a corpse, so wear it you fucking corpse. aren't you terrified of getting old? aren't you insecure about your little blemishes? we have the $80 solution.
someone online: you don't have to wear makeup
someone else in response, without fail, every single time: yeah but it's okay if you want to wear makeup :). I mean, it's a personal choice, which involves no coercion from the constant social pressures that dictate how women should present themselves, so go ahead! Don't let mean people bully you into thinking it's okay to have flaws in your skin.
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