#Angsty ass kids

[shabeeboothedrawingender]

I drew the babies.

[inkskinned]

at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"

like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.

"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."

... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.

and i'd still keep writing.

i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.

i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley

"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"

and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.

it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.

you create because you're greedy.

[thaliasthunder]

dissapointing percy and calypso never got to talk about this in person

[themadxd127]

Edit: Since people are already thinking I'm attacking others lemme put this disclaimer here instead: I don't hate anyone specifically for liking it, but I'm not gonna sugarcoat my active dislike of ggy and the act of liking ggy. I don't hate you, but I hate that you like it.

Please read thru the whole post because I'm not arguing with someone on lore I abandoned a year ago.

Daily reminder that GGY fucking sucks as a theory and a concept. I'm sick of looking at ggy shit everytime on the off chance I look back into fnaf. Gregory is the only character I still like from that franchise, and I'm sick having to sort thru fan art of the worse character ruining theory that spits in the face of what good can be salvaged from security breaches story, that people still like somwhow. I legit hate that so many people unironically like this, and somehow fault the games for not including it, and its plot holes. Gregory doesn't need some convoluted contrived mess to be an interesting character. Him being distrustful because he's been on the streets all his life is more than a perfect reason for his actions, not some overrated book that adds more problems than solutions if it was ever canon to begin with. I despise ggy with all mt heart and I wish more people shared this opinion.

And don't even get me started on how much of Vanessa retread this is, and its other many plotholes. Theres no evidence Gregory had amnesia. There's no evidence that Greg can hack. There's no evidence Gregory had or knew his parents, nor is there any evidence that he killed them. This post is long enough already. If I had the chance to purge ggy from the world, and people's minds, I would. Also a disclaimer again, before I end it. I don't hate anyone specifically for liking it, but I'm not gonna sugarcoat my active dislike ggy and the act of liking ggy. I hope this post helps others come out of the woodworks about their dislike of ggy and preferences for non-ggy Gregory. End of post

[quirkle2]

Reigen opens his mouth. “... Are you okay, Mob?” he speaks, just above a whisper and incredibly solemn. He hears Serizawa stumble over something in the kitchen. Teruki keeps his fingers running along the shorter hairs just above Shigeo’s neck. His first instinct is to say yes. Yes, I’m fine. Yes, I just lost track of time. Yes, I just like the rain. Yes, there is nothing wrong with me. Yes. Yes. He doesn’t. He dips his head down, stares into the stitching of the couch, and he whispers, “I don’t know,” instead. Oddly, it feels like a victory and a loss all at once.

[levitatingbiscuits]

ok finally saw across the spiderverse and maybe im just a lesbian but i do not understand the hype about miguel o'hara at all

[imminent-danger-came]

On god just found the worst review of Lego Monkie Kid season 2. And I quote, “There are things from season one that are established for sure and referenced and capitalized on—but I feel like there’s just a little bit too much of that going on if that makes sense. I couldn’t help but feel like this was kind of a continuation to season one as opposed to its own storyline and it’s own season.”

Girl???? You mean it has an overarching plot????????????????

[jrueships]

yes. often. i think diggs Every day of My Life (/neg) (/unfortunate) (/nonpos)

i-

[occasional-pyrrhon]

Doodles for my post-canon idea where he comes back to earth pretending to still be confident and wearing clothes to hide his Aurum-induced scars 😁👍 nothing wrong with this guy ever

[sabbathbloodysabbeth]

The Mysterious Art Of Coping - part 1

Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

Ao3

Hey so I’m starting to post all of the parts on tumblr as well as I want to start writing this again, but does anyone know how to link parts like others do? Like part 1 | part 2 | part 3 and all of them have the links to each part?

Also let me know if you want to be tagged :)

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01. 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 𝐜𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐡

"ι'νє gσт α gιяℓ ¢яυѕн, нαтє тσ α∂мιт ιт вυт ι gσт α нαя∂ яυѕн ιт'ѕ ѕℓσωιη' ∂σωη, ι gσт ιт яєαℓ вα∂, ωαηт єνєяутнιηg ѕнє нαѕ тнαт ѕмιℓє αη∂ тнαт мι∂ηιgнт ℓαυgн ѕнє'ѕ gινιη' уσυ ησω, ι ωαηт тσ тαѕтє нєя ℓιρѕ уєαн, '¢αυѕє тнєу тαѕтє ℓιкє уσυ, ι ωαηт тσ ∂яσωη муѕєℓƒ ιη α вσттℓє σƒ нєя ρєяƒυмє, ι ωαηт нєя ℓσηg вℓση∂ нαιя, ι ωαηт нєя мαgι¢ тσυ¢н, уєαн, '¢αυѕє мαувє тнєη уσυ'∂ ωαηт мє נυѕт αѕ мυ¢н ι'νє gσт α gιяℓ ¢яυѕн"

✰ ✰ ✰

Eddie had formed a crush on Steve Harrington their freshman year of 1980, always seeing the popular boy walking down the halls with the little clique he had created, or more like the clique created around him. It was hard not to see the other boy during the day, his presence filled the halls even more than the principles. Everyone had a different schedule but somehow Eddie found himself passing the preppy rich boy every other class. On his way to Drama, Band, or Global he had grown used to walking by Steve who was always next to his locker talking to a new girl. The longer school went on the more Harrington's presence slowly became treated like a King.

With that new label, King Steve started to flourish. When everyone else thought about King Steve they thought about how he destroyed a creeps camera or how he somehow beat Billy Hargrove's ass. Though Eddie had a different image in his mind that he thought of when he looked back to see how much Steve has changed.

The first picture that popped itself into Eddie's mind was the image of barely worn striped blue Adidas and perfectly slicked back hair. He could remember it vividly as Steve had been the only guy in the entire school that hadn't bothered to grow a mullet. The new horrible haircut that came to replace the last and there were very few guys that didn't have that haircut. A few kids in his drama class that he can't place names for, him and Steve 'the hair' Harrington.

It had been a shocker to some of the more popular kids that Steve wasn't following the trends like he normally did. Instead that year his sides were buzzed closed to his head while the top of his head stayed long for his fingers to run through. Something Munson wasn't the only one to pick up on. All of the girls in his Math class did too and all of them were constantly drooling all over him as he struggled to answer an algebra question. Though Eddie had been one of them. Sitting there chewing on his pencil without even realizing it, already having his answer sheet filled.

Another reason why Eddie could pinpoint this year so easily was that he had recently moved back to Hawkins to live with his Uncle. This also had been the reason why he didn't have a mullet either. Along the way, he had caught lice from one of the cushions he had slept on while waiting for whatever public transportation to pick him up. His case worker had only traveled with him halfway there before abandoning him to find his own way to Hawkins. Which he had thankfully. After receiving help from the Chief of Hawkins police department. Which he now recognizes as El's Father, who drove up over three hours to pick him up for Wayne Munson.

Though he heard war stories and even met the man again recently he still didn't understand how he had gone from a grumpy miserable drunk to the happiest asshole alive. He remembers how miserable the other had been on the ride back grumbling about how irresponsible it was for a case worker whose job was to keep kids safe, to abandon a fourteen-year-old in the middle of nowhere.

Though Eddie never really thought too much about this even as he did Freshman year. As a twenty-year-old who was still in high school, he did think about his earlier years of success before it all went downhill and he got held back twice. Though his thoughts would always land back on Steve Harrington and his stupid hair. Steve Harrington and that stupidly cute polo shirt that made him look so soft and sometimes a little feminine with his curves poking out a little. Plus those damn high wasted jeans that stuck to his ass just right. Eddie probably had that shit engraved into his brain by now.

Freshman year was also the year that people slowly stopped falling trends from outside of Hawkins but those that were in Hawkins. Steve Harrington was once again at the center of this. When he changed something up a lot of boys would start to scramble around and try to copy him. As even more time passed there were more little changes in the others' clothing style that not a lot of them had caught. Like the way, he would cuff his jeans, the way he would tuck his shirt into his pants, and the way he would wear the most colorful sweaters ever.

As the increase of people following the King's trends started to grow, so did Eddie's hair. Sometimes he forgot how he landed in Hawkins in the first place, let alone what he looked like. He was barely the size of a twig with the ugliest buzz cut in the world when he showed up at the start of freshman year, by the end of it he had gained some weight and his hair was at ear length. Though his curls made it look a lot shorter than it was.

Unlike Steve Harrington, Eddie Munson started like the rest of the nerds in high school he was more reserved and shy about what he did. Never talked to anyone else as he never really understood the social cues of Hawkins. The expectations of being a teenager in other teenagers' eyes never really clicked with him. At first, he didn't do it on purpose not wanting to be singled out from the rest of the school. Though deemed already impossible the second he received the nickname 'Freak' when he opened his locker and a huge Steven King book slammed on the floor in the middle of the hallways. The bullying had gotten worst but he slowly started to use it to his advantage.

Considering everyone viewed him as a freak he started to do crazy stupid things that made a few kids start to sit next to him. As with his image, everyone thought he was crazy and just avoided him along with everyone that interacted with him. This was how he started hellfire club or the baby version of hellfire club. The worst bullies got, the worst Eddie got. When one of the kids under his wing was having issues with someone he would take a snake dead or alive and put it in that bully's gym locker. His father's lessons finally paying off to get behind the locks. With his growing reputation, it started to mix with Steve's. But Eddie purposely made sure to never let it get to that point where him and Harrington even fought.

When it was their junior year and Steve smashed Jonathan Byers camera he didn't stick anything into his locker. Eddie had heard the stories about Jonathan but thought they had been sick rumors. So as he watched Steve destroy the boys' camera, something was off. The preppy boy had never really gone that far before, sure he was a dick but not as bad as everyone else. Eddie had walked over to help the Byers kid who he felt bad for. He just lost his brother and now his stuff was being destroyed. But when he picks up one of the ripped photos on the ground and sees a very shirtless Nancy Wheeler he understood completely. He rips the image to shreds before he's heading into the school.

After that, he had a new respect for the King that most didn't get. Though it started off innocent it was slowly starting to become something that bothered Eddie. His heart would raise when he would watch Steve Harrington kiss Nancy Wheeler. Not even realizing he was putting himself into her place. The way his stomach would do flips whenever he watched the other play basketball on the skins team, or the way he couldn't even look in the others' general direction in the showers without feeling a little aroused. He had pushed his dirty thoughts to the side as intrusive thoughts. Though Eddie was a smart boy, even though he didn't know if he was going to piece it together at some point.

After what seems like forever everything starts to click into place and make sense. As he watched fellow male classmates get girlfriends he slowly started to realize that he hasn't started the typical girl craze as every other guy had. Even the kids that he helped protect were in the girl craze. After listening to one of the boys, John, talk about one of the cheerleaders Shay it slowly clicked in his brain that those were the feelings he had for Steve. Where he wanted to make out with him so bad and know how he tasted to the way he wanted to cuddle with him. Hold him in his arms as if he was something that needed protecting. This was not normal for a guy to be feeling he had started to realize.

He slowly started to fall off the bandwagon after this, willingly swimming in the disgusted looks and remarks he received from everyone without a fight. So far in denial, he convinces himself that it was just a Steve Harrington thing. Something he would be able to forget about after high school. His thought process was that because he's never shown any attraction to another male before that if he avoided thinking about the pretty rich boy he would be okay. He would be back to normal. But this little realization had opened the flood gates that couldn't be closed again. Now that he was mentally trying to ignore the other it seemed more difficult than he had thought before.

Where ever he looked Steve Harrington seemed to be there filling his thoughts. When he had to go to the bathroom the other seemed to be always coming out from there. Whenever he finished a hellfire session the other seemed to be getting out of a sports game with his girlfriend on his hip. Another thing that he's never thought he would get jealous about. He never thought he would be jealous of Nancy Wheeler. Someone that he deemed a bit of a gold digger but couldn't place a finger on why. His last straw was when he shows up at a party for the first time in a while and it seems almost obvious Steve just got into a fight with his girlfriend. Though this wasn't the thing that set him off. It was Billy Hargrove.

He knew that Billy was a new kid and he never paid much attention to him until now. His heart beats in his throat as he stumbles over himself a bit, his eyes never leaving the other boy's body. It was something a little worst than Steve. He wasn't romantically interested in the dickhead but he was very much sexually attracted. Fidgeting with his new ring as he looks at Billy Hargrove's gloved hands. The way his mouth wrapped around the cigarette he had been smoking. Eddie wasn't sure what was Billy and what was Neal Hargrove. Who used to live in town when he was younger and was a well-known racist drunk. On some levels, Eddie could understand the other but after that, he hated the guy. Hated his personality but hated how hot the other was.

Later that night he decided he needed to cool off somehow. His mind was just picturing all of these dirty images of Billy on top of him but the other side was picturing Steve underneath him. This was only causing his brain to go even more crazy. He needed something to relax and he's done drugs before but he's never needed them like this before. He knew his Uncle was cool with him smoking just as long as he was responsible. Eddie had never been properly high, but he was aware of how to smoke. He gets everything set up a little bit on the sloppy side and he starts to take hit after hit nonstop until he couldn't properly think.

The plan seems to backfire as he smokes it slowly starts to dawn on him. On how fucking hot David Hasselhoff from Knight-Ridder was. The way his hair blew back when he was driving with the windows down. Reminding him of Billy a little bit, and those disgusting thoughts slowly start to come back and eat him alive. But unlike earlier Eddie's thoughts were slow enough for him to understand and catch now, compared to the complete blurred mess that he was used to from the second he got up to the second he went to bed. The thoughts weren't the only thing that seemed to slow down. The energy that was constantly pumping through his bones seemed to be gone now as he watches TV and his anxiety. He's probably an hour into his high before realizing that his goal of not thinking about guys like that was very unsuccessful.

Having his first case of the munchies he's snatching a Big Mac from the fast food bag his Uncle brought home from work the night before. Sure it was hours old, but it seemed to please his stomach enough to shut it up so he could focus on what his brain was trying to tell him. Eddie sits there with smoke surrounding him as his face goes a tad pale. Fuck. I think I'm Gay, and I'm not completely disgusted by this the more that I think more about the possibility.

Eddie now knew that it helped a lot that his Uncle was fairly progressive when it came to things. As in the 70's he had once been a stoner and in his words partied a little too hard that some mornings he woke up next to a guy instead of a girl. Eddie wasn't ever disgusted by the idea of his Uncle being with men. He wasn't disgusted by boys being together at all. He was just grateful that his Uncle had been chill with those types of things and showed that throughout the years. Though now that the long-haired boy thought about it, the adult seemed to be hinting at something and he can't help but think, he can't possibly know, can he? Though now that it finally clicked in his brain and he's come to terms with it after a bowl of wee, he now knows that if his Uncle wasn't so open that he probably would have been really homophobic about the situation. Like most guys were.

Eddie soon started to smoke regularly after that, and discovered things that he wouldn't normally have if he was sober. Like how freaking good 'The Outsiders' were when he wasn't focused on how embarrassing it was for him, a seventeen-year-old boy to be watching that. That and how fucking hot Tom Cruise was. His new hyper fixations soon settled into movies, though it slowly started to form around Black Sabbath and even more on DnD not long after that. Though it was just the beginning of his gay awakening he was pretty sure he was a hundred percent gay. There was no doubt in his mind about that at all. He couldn't feel more alive than he did then.

• • • • •

Now here he sits years later in a brand new trailer that he never thought would be called his, in front of a small crowd of teens and adults. Uncle Wayne had gladly taken an offer from the government to replace theirs not knowing the other had a portal to a different world in it. With his Uncle not knowing the truth about anything, Eddie had slowly started to discover that he was having a very difficult time coping. He had never lied to his Uncle about anything and him being gay had gone unspoken for years between the two of them. So he had never felt guilty about not telling the older man that secret. Unlike Eddie, though he finds that everyone else in the trailer had seemed to have gotten over the recent events. God knows how.

After everything, they had all gone their separate ways to recover and Eddie found himself nearly ripping his hair out within seconds of being in his room again. Though he couldn't spend long in there as a group of strange men started to force the tired boy into packing everything that he loved. Wayne had seemed to have already done that and Eddie was hoping to see him as soon as possible. But unlike he had expected they met up days later in front of the spot that once held their old trailer seeing it had been replaced. They both immediately hugged each other and started to prepare for their new beginnings. Eddie with his new reputation of being an ex-accused murderer and his Uncle who was now a new employee at a government-owned factory. Which brought in a lot more money than before.

As they settled in the new place he didn't waste time lighting a joint and got stoned thinking about how fucking hot Steve had been throughout the whole experience. The way he had bit into a bat and killed the shit out of it. Though his thoughts did take him back to their high-school days together like normal. The way his body had looked when he was wearing his vest to the way he seemed to show concern for all of the kids and not himself. All of it was hot. The whole babysitting thing seemed to be doing something for Eddie's old crush on the other male. Knowing he was great with children made his heart go crazy and his stomach do flips. As he sits there smoking, his thoughts started to slow down and he can't hold back the first small smiles he's had for days. He might have a chance to become friends with Steve Harrington. His Gay Awakening.

Now days later after that realization, the next big realization was that he's never going to be back to his normal. After everything, everyone looked at him as if he was a bigger freak and he could barely get a job let alone go back to school now. He was never going to be the same again. Every time he tried to walk through town people would start throwing shit at him in hopes of scaring him away from their precious yet cursed community. There was no hope of returning to school. Every teacher gave him a look and some even had the balls to pull him to the side and tell him to get the fuck out of their classroom. Though the students had been far worse. Tossing him around like a rag doll. Without Steve and Robin there he had no one who could stick up for him. What the hell was a mouthy freshman like Dustin supposed to do? It would only make things worst and Eddie forced the boys to promise to never stick their necks out for him again.

Weeks passed faster than what he remembered them being and his eyes held bags. Of course, the logical thing was to drop out, and that he did. Refusing to return to the shit hole known as Hawkins High. Which was understandable after everything. The rest of the gang had seemed to settle back into their day-to-day lives and Eddie was currently the only one who hadn't. He was even more of an outcast, while they all seemed to be holding on day by day with him being dragged behind them. Nancy had gone back to the newspaper dedicating it to her friend there that had died, Jonathan and his family moved back to town with the Towns old Sheriff, Steve and Robin were doing whatever they had been doing before and the rest of the kids started to be kids again.

Though to Eddie's shock, they all seemed to have noticed his falling out. The way he moped around more. He stuck out like a sore thumb and he was pretty sure they were all here to pity him. That and he was pretty sure Dustin had only thrown this together so that Eddie would join Hellfire again and write a new campaign. Which he hadn't done in over a month now.

Sitting there right across from him Dustin sat. His very judging eyes took in Eddie's hair which had grown into a rattier nest compared to the last time they had been together. His curls falling further down his back now along with his bangs covering his eyes almost completely. Wearing the same Black Sabbath shirt for the fifth day in a row with obvious pit stains that proved that fact. He stunk of weed and looked like he hadn't slept in days. He was so lost in his head that if this was months ago he would have noticed the way Steve was staring at him. He would have thrived underneath the look.

Steve Harrington's eyes were staring the other up and down and couldn't help but feel bad for the other. He remembered back to the days when he was like this. Though unlike now, no one showed up to save him from the darkness that had seemed to find its way around him. Currently, Eddie looked like one of those dogs from one of that SPCA commercials. Like he had been abandoned on the side of the road and forgotten. Which truth be told sort of happened. Steve had been so focused on recovering himself that he didn't realize that Eddie might need someone just as badly as Steve had needed someone when he was in the same position. Eddie's big sad brown eyes were the selling point for comparing him to a puppy. Like the animal, Steve was sure he probably would give in within seconds if the other even bothered asking for anything. Reminding him of the days he dated Nancy, little images of her doe eyes flashing through his brain remembering how she would give him a look and he was immediately running to do whatever she asked from him. Steve had been too distracted staring at the other boy he wasn't even aware that Dustin had started talking.

"We're starting hellfire back up and we want you there. But you don't fucking leave your trailer enough to even smell the roses before booking it back inside." Dustin says like he was the smartest one in the room. Steve rolls his eyes and catches that Eddie's doing the same. Steve isn't the only one to look at Dustin with a what the fuck look. Robin is too. Everyone had grown used to his insensitivity but this wasn't one of those moments that anyone was willing to let him be an asshole.

"Dustin," Robin says in a higher and annoying pitch. "What the fuck dude. Just because you're handling this shit better than Munson doesn't give you the right to treat him like shit." The girls looked at him with a very upset look. It wasn't often she got annoyed but it was normally because of Dustin. Who looks over at Steve for confirmation that he was being too much. Steve can't help but feel a tad annoyed too. Though he noticed how everyone's eyes turn to him now, expecting him to say something.

"Too far dude. Robin's right, you aren't being all that respectful. How would you feel if someone came walking in when you first went through this crap and shat all over the ways you were coping with things. Not everyone has the same reaction to things Henderson." Steve speaks and Dustin listens. Something he had started to do a little bit less lately. His hat holds his hair in place as he tries to say something but Steve's quick to add. "And you need to stop always looking at me whenever Robin says something. If you don't respect her enough to listen to her opinion you mind as well as say bye to your personal cab." Steve adds seriously as Robin looks over at him giving a small smile. Something that had been caught by Eddie who felt a pang of jealousy blooming in his chest.

Dustin only rolls his eyes at the threat as he crosses his arms a bit. Steve doesn't understand what has been going on with him but it's starting to piss him off. Though he always has to remind himself the other was just a teenager going through puberty during a shitty time of being forced to fight monsters.

"So, we've all discussed it and everyone here's willing to hang out with you whenever. Soon you'll be known as Eddie the freak grandpa who pisses on his lawn to water it, Munson, if you don't start going back into society again." Dustin rants more and everyone's looking at each other with raised eyebrows. Eddie's even doing the same as he hasn't heard the other talk to anyone like this before.

Steve's taking a pillow and throwing it at Dustin. "That's it, shut up dude. You are way out of line right now. Just because you seem to think you are better than the rest of us, doesn't mean you can be a dick." Dustin's trying to move to say something but Steve's giving him a look and he's shutting up as Mike is the one to break the silence.

"I guess Dustin's trying to force us to babysit you. And being a complete dick about it too. By the way, none of us mind hanging out with you at all. Will's good at playing DnD and he has more hours into it than me and Dustin combined. And like Dustin said, we're starting a new campaign which should start Monday if everything goes to plan." Mike speaks and Eddie listens. His eyes move over to the Byers kid who he catches looking at Mike. He's almost immediately raising an eyebrow at the way the other had been looking at Wheeler but he didn't want to bring attention to it.

Dustin's piping back in now even though everyone wanted him to shut up pretty much. He was completely embarrassed and pissing the group off all at once. "Yeah, and I know you probably don't want to be hanging around Freshman but Robin and Steve can hang out." He's looking between the two as they both nod watching Dustin skeptically as they let him finish. "And they're actually really cool. I think you'll actually like them. Though Steve doesn't hang out with anyone on Wednesdays. He calls them his 'fuck off' days. But I'm sure he'll be willing to hang out that day too." Dustin smiles causing Steve and Robin to look at each other.

Steve's quick to jump in, "Dustin I've told you three times man that I'm not hanging out with anyone that day. I'm barely home as is anymore and I can't even shower longer than five minutes because I'm always driving people around to god knows where. I made it very clear that day was a no go for me all around the board. I'll gladly kidnap Munson here and hang out with him if he wants, I need someone to go with the theaters with anyway. But I'm not giving up the one day I want to myself, and we both know you're only trying to guilt trip me into hanging out with Eddie so that you can get me to drive you to that DnD store." He rambles out as everyone raises an eyebrow. Robin smiles nodding her head with a grin sticking her thumbs up. Everyone was becoming aware of how she had been trying to help Steve set boundaries with Dustin. Who has been taking advantage of him for a long time now? For that Dustin didn't like her thinking she was trying to ruin his friendship with Steve.

"Was this your doing Buckley?" Dustin accuses as he looks at her with squinted eyes. Robin raises an eyebrow, and slowly this intervention isn't about Eddie anymore. The group was always too chaotic to stay organized and to stay on one topic. There were just way too many of them and to many opinions constantly flying around. So Steve's seeing what's about to happen a mile away.

Harrington immediately moves getting tired of standing and moving to sit on the couch next to Eddie. Even though he didn't know the others all that well he always had this thing about pleasing others. And it seems like Eddie really needed cheering up, and as the people pleaser he was he's glad to be the first to attempt to help the other out. Steve had always been good at reading other people and their needs and he knew the other probably didn't want all of the attention on him because he was struggling. So immediately he's moving closer to the other whispering as softly as he can,

"The shit heads been only talking about you for the past week and it's sort of hurting my ego man. You're supposed to be the jealous one here not me." Steve teased softly before adding. "Though shut up, I want to watch this unfold. Dustin's totally going to get his ass chewed out again and you're totally talking way to much." He says playfully. He remembered how the other was in the upside down and try's to imitate that. If he was honest he sort of wanted to hear the other ramble on about Ozzy again. Harrington, like the rest of the group hasn't heard the other speak for week.

Steve catches onto Eddie's amused look as his brown eyes meet Steve's. The shorter haired boy can't help but smile a little bit at the other before he's looking around finding a bag of chips stuck in between the crack of the couch cushion. He was really hungry and was forced to skip breakfast for this meeting, Dustin had scared the shit out of him and made him think that Vecna was back and he ran out the door immediately when he got the call.

Steve was fully aware that the chips were probably old and stale but he didn't care. His stomach was growling loud enough that Eddie had even heard. Blushing the hungry boy almost misses the others soft whisper back, "Jesus Harrington, did one of those Demon bats find its way into your stomach?" He teases softly and Steve can't help but look very amused as he chuckles rolling his eyes playfully. "Though I don't know if I would eat those if I were you, they've probably been sat on and been there for days now." Eddie warns softly.

Steve opens it anyway looking inside as he ignores the amount of eyes on him and the warning that he seemed to be the only one who had caught. Eddie's even looking at him full on now instead of trying to be nonchalant about it. And there's this spark in his eyes that Dustin can't help but catch onto. Something that only reached his eyes when he was playing DnD. Though they were all aware of the amused smile on Munson's face, but Dustin knew the other could be smiling the hugest grin and that crazy look in his eye wouldn't be there. Even Robin was even looking over for a second as she starts to scold Dustin, but then she's going back to Dustin who snaps out of the trance he was in.

Steve's reaching inside the plastic and popping a chip in his mouth as he chews slowly trying to figure it out. He's raising a eyebrow at everyone now as they look at him disgusted. "Should I remind everyone that I bit into a bat when I was in the Upside Down. I'm pretty sure Stale chips that have been in Eddie Munson's couch for god knows how long won't kill me. This could be way worst." Steve says interrupting Robin for a second who simply rolls her eyes a little amused before going back at Dustin ranting at him some more.

Then he's turning to offer Eddie some. "Hey man, you have no room to judge me. The chips were in your sofa not mine." Steve says with a mouthful of chips and Eddie's reaching in to grab a few. He's also had far worst things in his mouth then week old stale chips. He simply pops them in his mouth before he's turning to watch Robin rip into Henderson with Steve tuning into the end of it.

"You are the most obnoxious kid I've ever met. Steve has canceled on me five times just to go pick you up from whatever the hell you were doing. You do know gas isn't free right? Doesn't grow on trees? So why the fuck are you making him drive you everywhere when you have a Bike?" Robin rants at him. "You are fully aware that you are walking all over him and taking advantage of him and yet I don't see you doing anything nice in return, except argue with him about every little thing. It was his idea to come and check up on Eddie, and you twisted it into some stupid intervention. So why don't you bug off and stop trying to act like you are older then us. We all know you're smarter but it doesn't give you the right to bully Steve because he's not the brightest of the bunch. Look at him Dustin. He's eating ass chips out of Eddie Munson's couch. That in itself deserves pity not judgment. God knows how long they've been there!" Steve's chewing slowly before furrowing his eyebrows.

"Should I be offended by that?" Steve asks confused as Eddie speaks up for the first time sense everyone's been in the trailer.

"It's the tone right?" He asks as he turns his head to look at Steve who looks at him and nods his head agreeing. Steve swallows the chip he was chewing as he pauses for a second.

"It really is, I can't really tell if she's being sarcastic, serious or patronizing me. I really suck at tones man." Steve says as the two of them seem to be the only ones clicking right now. And god Eddie was freaking out inside that Steve Harrington was next to him right now talking to him like this.

Eddie throws his hands up happily as he thinks he's finally found someone who understands him. "Finally! I'm not the only one who finds it difficult to figure this shit out. I genuinely can't tell if I'm being talked to as a friend or as a freak for not leaving my trailer in weeks." He huffs as Steve offers him more chips. Steve nods his head in understanding as he hums a bit as crumbs fall on his shirt.

"If I'm honest man, you should totally come out more. Trust me, it doesn't get better being cooped up in here by yourself. If I had these many people to help out me when I first found out about Monsters, I would honestly fucking cry. I'm just going to sum all of this up before a fist fight happens in the middle of your living room. That and so we can get out of your hair. What we're trying to say is that we are here for you. That you aren't alone. And if you want to hang out sometime drop on by to my place. " Steve smiles before catching the time on his watch.

"Though I should probably get going, my parents are finally in town for the first time since before everything started and they have finally noticed I haven't moved out of their place yet." Steve rambles out a bit and Eddie can't help but follow the others movements and listen to him. "And they are sort of really pissed with me right now so yeah-" he says awkwardly setting the bag of chips to the side standing up and moving around the crowd as he moves to the front entrance.

Before Steve opens the door Eddie asks, "what's airing at the theaters Harrington?" He asks curious as he leans back on his hands a bit watching the other. Steve looks confused as to why the other would want to know before it clicks in his head what the other was suggesting. His brain nearly going blank as he realizes that Eddie 'The Freak' Munson seemed to be more interested in hanging out with him the anyone else in the room.

"Alien and The second Poltergeist." Steve answers before he's leaving.

[usercookie2008]

The one and only Toddler Trio lmao

They're so silly lmao

✨✨✨----------

Fluke belongs to me

Smudge belongs to @pixiewritesstuff

Shino belongs to @blue-kohina

[vizziefizzie]

Hi, stares at you, I love your doodles and arts of them

HI!!! cant keep eye contact for 3 seconds, AND THANK YOU!!! (pls my body hates me for choosing art as my passion but idgaf i will draw till my thoracic spine breaks in half) and your art is cool too!!!

[themadxd127]

GGY sucks, a followup

Hi, this is a followup to my previous post about my hatred of GGY. You can read the previous one to get my general raw opinion on it. This serves as an in depth debunk of responses and further explanation to my previous post.

Same disclaimers apply. Also, this is not for the faint of heart. This is a pure opinion piece about my pure raw hatred towards GGY explained, not an attack on others.

You can read the last post here :https://www.tumblr.com/themadxd127

__________________________

Gregory is not ggy and makes no sense for Gregory to be GGY. It's a stupid concept that's an insult to the character of Gregory. It's nothing but glorified headcanon that flanderizes Gregory's character into the exact opposite of how he is like. It's the objectively worse of Fanon as a whole, and that's saying something given this is the fnaf fandom we're talking about.

1) Gregory being possessed by glitchtrap is nothing but a silly, infuriating, overrated concept that has zero bases for being true. It makes him evil for the sake of contrived moody teen drama nonsense that goes nowhere. And I do say evil. GGYstans that claim he's not is nothing but cope. They draw him explicitly being evil for the sake of it, and abusing and manipulating others. Actions speak louder than words. And these actions shattered my fucking eardrums. This concept also spits in the face of everything built up about Vanessa, even more then what the game did. We get so much insight, and so much stress of the mind from the many hints that built up her relationship with Glitchtrap before Security breach, only to be thrown to the side and retcon a completely new character into her role out of nowhere in an overrated theory, and this shit is a "good concept" apparently.

2) This glorified theory has no bases in the games, period. Gregory's character can easily be described from the games as a scrappy innocent kid who's homelessness has molded him into being distrustful of others. He is being chased by Vanessa because she is secretly a child killer and doesn't trust her because of it. This is why he stutters his name to freddy, and No, its not definitive proof of his supposed "amnesia" (we get to that later), that line is so vague you can describe any meaning to it, and because of that, the most likely meaning is the simplest one supported by the game. He simply didn't trust Freddy at first. His actions throughout the game was never malicious in the slightest. It was self defense against beings after his life. They are killer robots after an innocent kid, nothing more, nothing less.

3) Alright, this is where the rant truly begins. The one thing I truly hate about ggy is how out of nowhere this would fucking be. It's an actual insult how none of the game ever makes an effort to actually include this. Gregory being possessed is never mentioned once, never alluded too, and acts surprised against shit he should have already known about if he was possessed. In other words, not only does this spit in the face of Gregory's established character, the game makes no effort to make it an actual plot point ever. If the game doesn't wanna make it a plot point, then why should I even like it in the first place? There's no narrative value to Gregory killing his parents, and the game never mentions it, and the book never mentions it. So if the games have no use for this, actively ruins my favorite character, and makes no effort into proving it ever happened, then why should I like or believe this again?

And this brings me to my other point. GGY never happened. I want you to point me to the evidence that Gregory is patient 46 that hacked the pizzaplex, and killed a bunch of people, killed his parents, and somwhow turns homeless, is in cahoots with vanessa, then freed, and then somehow forgets everything. Go on, I dare you, and no, Gregory acting as if he doesn't know this doesn't count, you are using a plothole to debunk the same plothole. I want evidence that he somehow did all that in the games without a noncanon book explaination. Oh wait! You can't, cause the game never alludes to it, and doesn't make it an important narrative plot point? No shit.

"Why can't you just block the tags?"

You think I already hadn't? Blocking tags does jack shit cause it still brings up the post in searching, and plus, that's not even touching on the millions of other art platforms that I don't have an account to block things with. And that's even assuming they have tags to block the post with

"You are just inserting your opinion as fact"

Nigga please. Like yall and the rest of those fucking youtube fnaf theorist like GT, ryetoast, siresquawks, ozone, and dmuted haven't been doing that for a whole fucking year at this point, and I don't. I dont wannna hear it.

That analogy doesn't work, and is a complete insult into how I opperate, and search for content. I am not going into a pizza place to complain. It's more like I go into a pizza place for pepperoni pizza, but instead they serve calzones covered in shit now out of nowhere cause the majority gassed it up, and acted like pepperoni pizza is objectively more horrible food then the calzone. Then I go to another pizza place for pepperoni pizza, only for half the of very small selection of options be those awful calzones again that has now, even overriden the new pepperoni options. I tagged ggy cause that is what I'm talking about. What kind of question is that? That's how basic tagging works.

Any artist I follow for Gregory shit eventually falls into this ggy slop. Every single goddamn nigga acts like it's undeniably canon and that I'm stupid for denying it. Do you know how insulting that is? I bet not.

You can not even begin to fathom the anger of having to constantly sort out the worst dumb ggy garbage everytime I look up Gregory, and I still get ggy post that slip past my filters. Every. Fucking. Time.

I looked up Gregory on another site and half the new art now is obviously possessed Gregory/GGY abusing Cassie, and now with idiot commenters gassing it up at how "cool it is" and (yet again) how "obviously true it is."

You can never begin to fathom my anger. Imagine having you most favorite thing and obvious interpretation get turned over and replaced with something worse. Imagine having your beliefs be ostracized, downplayed, and discarded.

Everytime I voice my opinion I get shmucks trying to argue with me at how I'm wrong, or misinterpreting it. While they impose their unproven headcanon as fact, and write me off as some biased hater.

I'm not. My interpretation is the most basic obvious one you get by playing the fucking game normally, but somehow being possessed before the games makes more sense then It never happening.

And if you read thru all that to just call me a hater and write off my issues and problems, then you are the exact reason why I made my last post. Which I'm not retracting either, I fully stand by what said. I despise GGY, and I hate the act of others liking it. Its an insult to my intelligence to see such slandering of the only character I kinda like in this stupid fucking franchise.

Imagine if everyone starting treating mario like a psychopath, acted like it was undeniably canon, and that you're stupid for not believing it. That's how I feel. Shit like this is why I left the fandom and Fnaf as a whole. I'm sick of following a game and story I don't even enjoy anymore and am constantly worried it'll ruin what little I still like about it and ruin common consensus again cause I don't trust anyone to think for themselves anymore in fandoms now.

I think thats it. Welp. Back to leaving Fnaf again. So don't expect more Fnaf from me except on the off chance I stumble upon more people gassing a theory I blocked to hell and back, and piss me off again. I'm going back drawing, anime boys, and art reblogs. Peace out.

PS: Don't come to my post with the intent of arguing with me. If you did, you are the reason these post exist.

[liiixsturniolos]

in desperate need of a matt angst fic with a happy ending

like maybe you guys fight because he’s been an ass all day and once he makes you cry he feels bad and makes it up to you. like something suuuuper angsty

you ask, I deliver 🙏

౨ৎ Flowers ౨ৎ

dad!matt sturniolo x reader warnings!: angst, fluff

summary: Matts giving you attitude all day, until he realises how wrong he was, apologises and makes it up to you.

Matt almost storms into the room, his boots slamming against the ground.

"Matt. Will you stop stomping? I just put Addy to bed!" You scold him.

He ignores you and walks past you as if you weren't there.

"Matt!?" You yell.

"Fuck! What?" He screams back.

Your eyes widen in shock at the way he spoke to you.

"Matt? What's wrong..?" You lower your voice, tilting your head slightly, questioning him

"Nothing, God." He scoffs, walking away from you, into the backyard.

You slump down onto the couch. turned on the TV and ignored whatever Matt was doing in the yard, just to be disrupted by your daughter Addy's cries. You lift yourself up from the couch and go to settle her back to sleep. Once she falls asleep again, you tip-toe back down the stairs.

Matt comes back into the house. You turn your head to look at him. His face, still angry and irritated.

"Where are those new pegs I bought?" He grunts, raiding the kitchen looking for them.

"Pegs?" You ask.

"Yeah, pegs for my bike?" He says In a dull tone, as If you should've known what he meant.

"Oh, I'm not sure. Did you check the garage?" You suggest

"Obviously, I checked the garage." He mumbles.

Your face goes red, and your jaw tenses up. Who does he think he is talking to? Does he think your fucking stupid? You've done nothing to piss him off, but for some reason, he's taking all his anger out on you.

"Matt, what's all this attitude about?" You ask, your eyes glaring at him.

He doesn't even look up at you to respond but keeps opening up kitchen cupboards looking for his motorcycle pegs. "What attitude?"

"Matt, are you kidding. You're talking to me as if I'm dumb, and you ignored me earlier." You bark back at him.

"God, stop nagging me.." he says, instantly regretting it and looking up at your face in fear of how you'll respond.

You sigh in disbelief. Roll your eyes, and walk upstairs to your daughters room.

"Shit..." Matt whispers to himself. He knew how he was acting. He knew he was in the wrong.

He flung his boots off and ran up the stairs after you. You see him follow after you and just scoff in response, lifting your daughter up out of her crib.

"I'm sorry. I know I was an asshole. Fuck. I shouldn't have been. Just my bike was pissing me off. I can't seem to fix it, and Nick and I argued yesterday. That's still playing on my mind. I'm sorry. Kay? I was rude." He blurts out, remorseful, raising his eyebrows and looking at you, hoping you'll forgive him.

"Okay. Just tell me what's wrong next time. You don't gotta' be so secretive about what's making you mad." You advise him, slowly rocking Addy back to sleep.

"Can I take her?" He asks you. "You deserve to sit down a while, I know I've been in the garage all day. It's my turn." He says softly.

"Yeah, of course." You smile sweetly, heading downstairs to go and finally watch TV.

Matt stays in Addys room, holding her and gently rocking her while singing to her quietly. When she falls asleep again, he places her back into her crib and strolls down the stairs.

"I'm gonna go out to the store. Do you want anything?" He whispers to you.

"Yeah, chocolate?" You smirk

"Of course." He says.

Twenty minutes later, you hear the car pull up on the driveway, and Matts key is unlocking the door.

"Hey darlin!" Matt shouts from the door.

"Hey!" You respond.

He walks over, hands you your favourite chocolate, and a bouquet of flowers.

"Aw! Thank you, sweetie!" You exclaim

He hugs you tight and lays soft kisses along your neck.

You let out quiet gasps as he works his way down with the kisses, tossing the flowers in your hands to the side...

part two..? if you enjoyed this, please interact! (comments, likes, reblogs, are all super appreciated) thank you! comment on any post and ask to be on my taglist and ill add you!

taglist: @matthewsroses @chrislilcumslvt @pvssychicken @1-d0nt-w4nn4-b3-m3-4nym0r3 @ivysturnss @mattsbitchh

[hannibals-favourite-meal]

.⋆｡When They Realised That They Loved You｡⋆.

Team free will x plus size reader (separately)

Warnings: smut, lil bit of angst, fluff, (somehow Dean’s isn’t the angsty one), undefined relationship (Dean), mention of scars, sam detoxing off demon blood, childhood friends to strangers to ?, heartbreak, pain, mention of torture and pain and Dean’s death, sam being sad, gentleness, Ruby can catch these hands, seemingly unrequited love on both sides, a kid being lost, castiel being stupidly in love and not knowing what to do with himself, humanity being good WC: 3.8k

Minors DNI

A/N: One assignment left baby!!

Library- @hannibals-favourite-meal-library

Dean- When you were the only person he could let his walls down with

You weren’t exactly a hunter but you also weren’t exactly a civilian. You were… something else. You could shoot, recite an exorcism backwards and outdrink the most seasoned hunter but you also were stationary, paid your taxes, even had a retirement fund and to Dean, you were safe. And a damn good lay at that.

“That’s it baby. Move those hips for me.” Your nails bit into the muscles of his chest as you lifted yourself up on shaky legs, then slammed back down onto his cock. Dean hissed and bit down on his lip, desperately trying to keep his eyes open to watch you fall apart just one more time before he succumbs to the blinding pleasure he could only find with you.

“It’s too much, Dean.” You wailed but continued to roll your hips downwards like you didn’t even think of stopping. His hands clamped down on the meat of your plush thighs as you tightened impossibly around his thick cock.

“Fuck, baby. I know you’re close; just come for me. Cum, and I’ll give you what you want.” He planted his feet onto your bed and thrust upwards, hitting that one spot inside you he knew made your brain turn into TV static. “Thaaaaat’s it. That’s my girl.” He cooed as you slumped forwards, your mindless babbling only serving to spur him on even more.

You tucked your face into his neck, kissing and licking at his skin like you wanted to swallow him whole. Dean squeezed his eyes shut and pounded into you even deeper. Your soft body trembled against him as you tumbled into your final orgasm of the night, your cunt fluttering around him like it was made for him.

“Dean. Cum inside me.” You managed to gasp out as you rode the last waves of your high. Dean snarled and pushed himself in as deep as he could go as the dam finally broke and he succumbed to his own end. You moaned softly at the feeling of his cum filling you up. 

Dean relaxed back down into the mattress, your body a comfortable weight on top of his, easing away the pain inside him. He ran his hand down the length of your back, coming to rest on the gentle swell of your ass. “You good sweetheart?”

A quiet giggle vibrated through your chest. “I think I saw god, I am more than good Deanie.”

He rolled his eyes as he guided you to lay down next to him, his softening cock slipping from your warm walls. “How many times have I told you not to call me that?”

“How many times have I told you not to wear your boots in the house?” You retorted with a jab to his ribs, quickly followed by a loving kiss against his lips. His heart skipped a beat as he wrapped a strong arm around your thick waist, pressing deeper into the kiss. You let out a pleased sound that made his spent cock twitch in interest.

But all too soon, you pulled away and laid your head down on his shoulder.

It felt so domestic, so real. If he just shut his eyes he could almost imagine that this was your shared home; a place for him to just be without the worry of saving the world or protecting Sammy, that maybe he could have a lawn to mow and tedious chores that he would be happy to do for you. He wished he could wake up in this bed every day instead of once or twice in a blue moon when hunting had dried up or he needed more supplies from your shop for hunters.

“Do you remember the day we met?” His voice echoed through the small bedroom, soaking into the old wallpaper that you refused to let him replace, claiming that it was just fine the way it was.

You hummed and glanced up at him, your eyes still hazy from an entire afternoon of ‘I missed you but I’m not going to say it out loud’ sex. Dean cupped your full cheek.

“‘Course I do. You broke into my shop at 4 in the morning and I almost shot you.”

“We still need to work on that aim of yours sweetheart.” You scoffed but snuggled closer to him, the sweet smell of your skin almost getting overwhelming. Your fingers traced over the scars along his torso, never flinching away or touching them like you wished they weren’t there in the first place. You were mapping out the story of him without question or hesitation.

“Yeah well why would I need to do that if I have you here to protect me?” You said it like it was a fact, that you never doubted he would come to your rescue at a moment's notice. “I’ve got Dean Winchester in my bed, I’m the safest girl in the world.”

His breath caught but before you could notice, he gave you that smirk that got him there in the first place and drawled out a low: “Yeah you do sweetheart.” You visibly flustered, burying your face into his arm to escape the heat of his gaze. 

“You’re always so mean to me.” His laugh bounced your head up and down. You began to giggle, unable to help yourself, and slid your arm beneath his back so you could wrap your body around him. Electricity followed your touch, his nerves sparking to life like the feeling of stepping out from the darkness into the sun.

God I love her.

The thought slammed into his chest, briefly knocking the air from his lungs. He expected a sense of panic, maybe dread, but all he felt was a sense of calm that settled against his soul. Dean just pulled you tighter against him and pressed a lingering kiss to the crown of your head. You returned it with a soft peck right above his heart.

He didn’t want to run from this, not this time. You were everything to him and he wanted to stay right here, even if he knew he didn’t deserve it. Your breathing evened out as you succumbed to some much-needed sleep.

Maybe staying another few days wouldn’t be so bad, Sammy kept telling him he needed a vacation.

Sam- When you were kind to him even after he broke your heart

Sam’s voice had gone hoarse over an hour ago but they still hadn’t let him out. He knew that they wouldn’t but still he had begged and pleaded, even succumbed to tears yet there was no answer from outside the heavy iron door. 

He slumped back against the cot in the centre of the room, the sharp metal scraped against his back but it was nothing compared to the pain he felt in every waking moment. The cold concrete beneath him did nothing to soothe the burning inside of him. 

“Please.” The word was barely even audible, escaping his lungs with little more than a whimper. Sam let his head fall back onto the thin mattress.

As soon as the door was slammed shut, all he felt was blinding rage. Didn’t they understand why he was doing this? The blood gave him the power they needed to help people! But when hours had passed without so much as a hint that they even heard him, the anger melted away into a sort of numbness. Dean and Bobby had tricked him into this, you had tricked him.

It was your face that he saw last as the door was shut. Your lips were pulled downwards, your eyes rimmed with red, your shoulders slumped. You had looked like you were in mourning. Guilt curled in his stomach, just like every other time he looked at you since the day he left for Stanford. But this time, the sour taste of betrayal filled his mouth like bile.

You were turning your back on him, siding with his brother when all he wanted to do was to make the world safer, for you. 

Sam forced himself to take a deep breath, even as his body screamed with the ache of movement. The air was stale and settled heavily onto his chest but he was grateful to feel it, he was grateful to feel anything besides the searing pain of his nerves. This was the first break from the hallucinations he’d had in days, or weeks, time, just like everything else, had no meaning within the iron walls that enclosed him.

The cotton of his shirt felt like it was rubbing his sensitive skin raw but to take it off meant moving and he was far too tired to withstand the pain anymore. His head turned, letting the right half of his face press into the cot. The single flat sheet on the bed smelt of the flowery laundry detergent that you always used, it made something inside of him twist sickeningly.

A single tear slipped down his cheek.

“Sam?” His eyes squeezed shut.

“Please not again. Please don’t hurt me again.” He begged with broken words. He cringed at the sound of metal scraping against concrete. He couldn’t do it again, he wouldn’t fight it. Sam was going to let the pain take him.

Soft footsteps drew closer. He braced himself for the first strike. Would it be the sharp pinch of a scalpel or the burn of a propane torch? Or would it be the voices of people he loved reminding him of just how tainted he was? How evil? 

He whimpered as they stopped right beside him. There was a beat, then two, then the gentle whoosh of air as someone kneeled down beside him. 

“Sam.” Your voice washed over him like a gentle breeze, easing the stiffness in his bones. “Sam? Can you look at me?” He wanted to say no, to yell at you to get out and leave him alone like you did when you first locked him in here but the exhaustion in your tone made him crack open one of his eyes.

You sat on your knees mere inches from him, letting him see you in stark detail. One of his flannels hung from your shoulders partially concealing the form-fitting tank top you wore beneath it. Normally, his heart would have skipped a beat seeing you wear his clothes, but now it only reminded him of why you stopped. Bruise-like dark bags marred your full cheeks, your eyes blood-shot.

“Oh Sammy. I-“ Your voice cracked. You reached for him but quickly thought better of it, your hand dropped back down to your side where there was a bucket of water now on the ground. “You know you can’t come out yet but I thought you might like to clean up a bit, maybe eat something that isn’t dried or jerkied.” 

Sam opened his other eye but made no other efforts to move. You sighed, your shoulders dropping as you sat back on your heels. “Will you let me wash your hair and change your clothes at least? I bought the softest ones I could find and even washed them in the fabric softener Dean keeps secretly buying.” Your lips quirked up, attempting some sort of reaction from him.

You looked so worn out, Sam wondered if you had sat right outside the door waiting for him to stop screaming. His head bobbed and the hardness in your gaze eased. “Thank you. I’ll be as gentle as I can, squeeze my leg if you want me to stop.”

He bit back a whimper as you guided him to the floor. His broad shoulders rested across your plump thighs, letting his head hang above the floor. You kept one hand beneath his neck, taking far more of his weight than he would be willing to admit, and reached for the small plastic cup floating at the top of the bucket. 

His fingers curled around your knee, his short nails digging into the denim as you poured a cup full of hot water over the crown of his head. You paused for a moment but continued when Sam loosened his grip. 

As you placed the cup to the side and retrieved a small bottle of fragrance-free shampoo, he let his eyes shut once more, this time, his mind wandering to the last time the two of you had spoken.

It had been in the days after Dean died. You refused to break down in the face of losing your best friend, the man that taught you to drive, to throw a proper punch. You wanted to stay strong for Sam and for Bobby but Sam knew it wouldn’t last long. 

You had been slowly, methodically cleaning Baby, just like Dean taught you to when the younger Winchester approached you with a bowed head and a duffle bag on his shoulder. Just like the day he left for college.

You didn’t wait for his excuses.

“You’re leaving?” You said but it didn’t sound like you, not really. Sam didn’t answer and you scoffed, throwing the sponge you’d been using onto the dusty driveway. “Just like that, running off days after-“ Your breath caught but you swallowed down your tears, “What are you planning, Sam? You know selling your soul won’t work, we’ve already tried that.”

Sam huffed and pulled the strap of the bag higher on his shoulder. “I’ve got a friend who might know a way to get him back.”

He should’ve seen the way your back straightened as your body went stiff. “A ‘friend’?”

“She knows a lot about hell and right now I’ll try anything to bring him back.” And then he did something truly stupid. “Unlike you.” 

Silence crashed down around you like a falling building, immediately filling the air with a tension so thick Sam could almost choke on it. He watched your shoulders draw up, your hackles raised before your chest expanded fully and you exhaled through your nose.

“Then I won’t stop you. I trust you Sam but I don’t trust Ruby and I won’t be around forever to fix up your messes, not anymore. I’m worth a hell of a lot more than just being the girl you always leave behind but keep running back to.” You fished Baby’s keys from your front pocket, tossing them at Sam as you passed.

“Ruby’s dead.”

“Is she?” You shot him a look before opening Bobby’s front door. “Don’t get yourself killed. Lose my number.” The door slammed behind you and suddenly Sam felt like he was making the wrong decision, again.

You ran a hand through his hair, letting the shampoo run through your fingers as you carefully washed it away with the lukewarm water and with it, you washed away his pain. He turned his head into your hand, soaking up every ounce of touch you were willing to give him. It’d been so long since he had felt anything other than lust or hurt pressed to his body. 

You refused to meet his gaze, not that he could blame you after everything he had done, but he wanted so badly to look into those perfect e/c’s even just one more time. To feel that peace and acceptance that had always swirled within the deep colour of your irises. 

Suddenly, all Sam wanted to do was curl up in your lap and cry. He’d spent so many years taking your warmth for granted and now, after months of being denied even a sliver of your presence, he couldn’t imagine ever being away from you again. He wanted to prove to you that you were worth staying for, you were worth everything to him, but all he could do was let you care for him with hesitant hands.

He loved you, he always had, even when he was trying to run away from his life, even as he fell in love with someone else. It was you that kept him from falling into that well of darkness that would be so easy to slip into. You with your sass and your gentleness, your softness and your bite, your laughter and your grief. He loved you.

But how could you ever love him back?

Castiel- When you made him remember why he loved humanity in the first place

It was the sound of crying that drew Castiel to the playground across the street from the motel you had been camped out at. It wasn’t an unfamiliar sound to the angel given his age and how many prayers he’d heard throughout his existence, but the pitch was so high, so truly filled with fear that he didn’t hesitate to follow it.

“Angel? Where are you going?” He glanced back at you as you were pulling on your boots.

“There’s crying.” He said simply before descending the concrete steps to the ground floor. You let out a noise like a scoff and scrambled after him, barely grabbing the room key and your hunting knife before the heavy door slammed shut.

“Cas!” His pace didn’t falter as the crying picked up in intensity but he was confident you were following close behind him. His blue eyes flicked over the colourful plastic structures, expecting some siren or ghost to pop out at him. The weight of the angle blade against his forearm and your steady footsteps behind him reminded Castiel that he would not fight this battle alone.

He slowly rounded the bright yellow twisty slide just as you skidded to a halt a step behind him. Thankfully, you remained silent, a palm pressed to his back to remind him that you had him covered. The crying was louder now, though it did not sound like it was from any creature he had encountered before. 

There was a shadow at the edge of the monkey bars. Castiel’s blade dropped silently from his sleeve, sliding perfectly into his grip. He took a single stride forwards, ready to attack before it could when your fingers suddenly snagged the back of his trenchcoat.

“It’s a kid.” You breathed, he imagined it was out of relief but your human emotions always confused him. You slid the knife into the sheath you kept at the small of your back, tugging down your shirt so it was completely hidden as you cautiously approached the small figure curled up in the wood chips.

“Hi sweetie, are you ok?” Your voice dripped with sweetness, like he remembered syrup to taste like. You leaned forwards, your shoulders dropped as low as they could go.

The crying stopped but small hiccups still echoed through the maze of playground structures. The sun had been steadily setting and now sat just above the horizon, the darkness creeping in. 

Castiel watched closely as you squatted a foot away from the child, a soft smile on your face. “Are you lost?” The child finally looked up, their eyes wide and sparkling with tears in the low light of the evening. They nodded.

“Can we help you find your parents?” Their nodding got quicker and they reached out their arms to you. Your smile grew wider as you stood up, easily pulling them up and resting them on your wide hip. You turned back to face Castiel, a hand rubbing up and down the child’s back.

They must’ve been only 4 or 5 and wearing an outfit that was far from appropriate for the dropping temperature. “We’re going to go to the police station, I bet your parents are waiting there for you.” They looked up at you, still silent, but now clinging to your t-shirt in a way that made Castiel’s heart inexplicably skip a beat.

“This is my friend Cas,” You leaned closer to their little ear and loudly whispered the next part, “He’s an angel.” The child’s eyes widened and their head snapped around to look at him. Cas stepped closer, the child didn’t flinch.

“I am and so is she, that’s how she was able to find you.” He could almost feel the heat from your cheeks even feet away but still the child seemed convinced. 

“Really?” You hiked them up higher on your hip, your arm wrapping tighter around their little body to keep them warm.

“Really really. Now why don’t we get you back home?” They rested their head beneath your jaw and nodded, snuggling closer to your soft body. 

Cas dutifully followed you as you walked out of the park, watching the child bounce with each of your steps. You chattered away about things you were seeing around the street, your voice filling the silence like a white noise machine. Cas could feel the calmness radiating from the child and it warmed something long forgotten inside of him.

You had no duty to this child, nor any other person that you saved and he knew that you would receive no thanks for your actions but yet you still did them. You threw yourself into harm’s way to protect complete strangers from things they could not possibly understand. You had once confided in the angel that you had been pressured into hunting but you had stopped trying to run away from it long ago.

He’d felt anger for you, just the same as he felt for the Winchesters and all the other unfortunate children who never had a choice. He felt angry for himself, at humanity.

But seeing you now, caring for this child like they were your own, Castiel understood why you stayed. You didn’t do it for the glory of saying you saved the world, nor for some duty bestowed to you by your parents, it was because you cared and because you knew what evil was. 

The near empty streets soon gave way to rows of shops and townhouses, leading directly to the lit up police station only a few blocks away. The child started to fidget against you as they began to recognise their surroundings, making you laugh quietly. “I know sweetie! We’re almost there. You’re so close.”

You came to a stop right at the entrance. “You can go right in and tell them your name and that you were lost.” They nodded dutifully while you carefully lowered them to their feet. “Ok sweetie, you were so brave today but make sure you stay with your parents next time.” You ran a hand over their head and stod to your full height.

They looked at you and Castiel before gracing you with a toothy grin. “Thank you nice angels!” Then they threw open the glass door and rushed inside just as two grown ups turned the corner behind the reception desk. They fell to their knees, catching the little one in their arms.

Something warm brushed the side of his hand, making Castiel tear his eyes away from the scene in front of him. You took his hand into your own, your eyes shimmering with tears. You didn’t say anything and he found that no words were needed.

Tomorrow, he would tell you how incredible you were, that you were what angels should be and that he was feeling something for you that he never thought he could ever experience. But for right now, he wanted to watch this child reunite with the people that loved them most while the chill of the night and the monsters in it were kept at bay by the brilliance of your soul.

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[fractation]

something about random people sharing their essays or fanart on their fav vkei bands they'd submit as school assignments is so lovely to see despite the fact they do it like it's something they're deeply embarrassed of or only worthy of sharing on r/ any variation of cringe... they dont get then like i do