#Eddie’s is autistic

[sabbathbloodysabbeth]

The Mysterious Art Of Coping - part 1

Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

Ao3

Hey so I’m starting to post all of the parts on tumblr as well as I want to start writing this again, but does anyone know how to link parts like others do? Like part 1 | part 2 | part 3 and all of them have the links to each part?

Also let me know if you want to be tagged :)

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01. 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 𝐜𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐡

"ι'νє gσт α gιяℓ ¢яυѕн, нαтє тσ α∂мιт ιт вυт ι gσт α нαя∂ яυѕн ιт'ѕ ѕℓσωιη' ∂σωη, ι gσт ιт яєαℓ вα∂, ωαηт єνєяутнιηg ѕнє нαѕ тнαт ѕмιℓє αη∂ тнαт мι∂ηιgнт ℓαυgн ѕнє'ѕ gινιη' уσυ ησω, ι ωαηт тσ тαѕтє нєя ℓιρѕ уєαн, '¢αυ��є тнєу тαѕтє ℓιкє уσυ, ι ωαηт тσ ∂яσωη муѕєℓƒ ιη α вσттℓє σƒ нєя ρєяƒυмє, ι ωαηт нєя ℓσηg вℓση∂ нαιя, ι ωαηт нєя мαgι¢ тσυ¢н, уєαн, '¢αυѕє мαувє тнєη уσυ'∂ ωαηт мє נυѕт αѕ мυ¢н ι'νє gσт α gιяℓ ¢яυѕн"

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Eddie had formed a crush on Steve Harrington their freshman year of 1980, always seeing the popular boy walking down the halls with the little clique he had created, or more like the clique created around him. It was hard not to see the other boy during the day, his presence filled the halls even more than the principles. Everyone had a different schedule but somehow Eddie found himself passing the preppy rich boy every other class. On his way to Drama, Band, or Global he had grown used to walking by Steve who was always next to his locker talking to a new girl. The longer school went on the more Harrington's presence slowly became treated like a King.

With that new label, King Steve started to flourish. When everyone else thought about King Steve they thought about how he destroyed a creeps camera or how he somehow beat Billy Hargrove's ass. Though Eddie had a different image in his mind that he thought of when he looked back to see how much Steve has changed.

The first picture that popped itself into Eddie's mind was the image of barely worn striped blue Adidas and perfectly slicked back hair. He could remember it vividly as Steve had been the only guy in the entire school that hadn't bothered to grow a mullet. The new horrible haircut that came to replace the last and there were very few guys that didn't have that haircut. A few kids in his drama class that he can't place names for, him and Steve 'the hair' Harrington.

It had been a shocker to some of the more popular kids that Steve wasn't following the trends like he normally did. Instead that year his sides were buzzed closed to his head while the top of his head stayed long for his fingers to run through. Something Munson wasn't the only one to pick up on. All of the girls in his Math class did too and all of them were constantly drooling all over him as he struggled to answer an algebra question. Though Eddie had been one of them. Sitting there chewing on his pencil without even realizing it, already having his answer sheet filled.

Another reason why Eddie could pinpoint this year so easily was that he had recently moved back to Hawkins to live with his Uncle. This also had been the reason why he didn't have a mullet either. Along the way, he had caught lice from one of the cushions he had slept on while waiting for whatever public transportation to pick him up. His case worker had only traveled with him halfway there before abandoning him to find his own way to Hawkins. Which he had thankfully. After receiving help from the Chief of Hawkins police department. Which he now recognizes as El's Father, who drove up over three hours to pick him up for Wayne Munson.

Though he heard war stories and even met the man again recently he still didn't understand how he had gone from a grumpy miserable drunk to the happiest asshole alive. He remembers how miserable the other had been on the ride back grumbling about how irresponsible it was for a case worker whose job was to keep kids safe, to abandon a fourteen-year-old in the middle of nowhere.

Though Eddie never really thought too much about this even as he did Freshman year. As a twenty-year-old who was still in high school, he did think about his earlier years of success before it all went downhill and he got held back twice. Though his thoughts would always land back on Steve Harrington and his stupid hair. Steve Harrington and that stupidly cute polo shirt that made him look so soft and sometimes a little feminine with his curves poking out a little. Plus those damn high wasted jeans that stuck to his ass just right. Eddie probably had that shit engraved into his brain by now.

Freshman year was also the year that people slowly stopped falling trends from outside of Hawkins but those that were in Hawkins. Steve Harrington was once again at the center of this. When he changed something up a lot of boys would start to scramble around and try to copy him. As even more time passed there were more little changes in the others' clothing style that not a lot of them had caught. Like the way, he would cuff his jeans, the way he would tuck his shirt into his pants, and the way he would wear the most colorful sweaters ever.

As the increase of people following the King's trends started to grow, so did Eddie's hair. Sometimes he forgot how he landed in Hawkins in the first place, let alone what he looked like. He was barely the size of a twig with the ugliest buzz cut in the world when he showed up at the start of freshman year, by the end of it he had gained some weight and his hair was at ear length. Though his curls made it look a lot shorter than it was.

Unlike Steve Harrington, Eddie Munson started like the rest of the nerds in high school he was more reserved and shy about what he did. Never talked to anyone else as he never really understood the social cues of Hawkins. The expectations of being a teenager in other teenagers' eyes never really clicked with him. At first, he didn't do it on purpose not wanting to be singled out from the rest of the school. Though deemed already impossible the second he received the nickname 'Freak' when he opened his locker and a huge Steven King book slammed on the floor in the middle of the hallways. The bullying had gotten worst but he slowly started to use it to his advantage.

Considering everyone viewed him as a freak he started to do crazy stupid things that made a few kids start to sit next to him. As with his image, everyone thought he was crazy and just avoided him along with everyone that interacted with him. This was how he started hellfire club or the baby version of hellfire club. The worst bullies got, the worst Eddie got. When one of the kids under his wing was having issues with someone he would take a snake dead or alive and put it in that bully's gym locker. His father's lessons finally paying off to get behind the locks. With his growing reputation, it started to mix with Steve's. But Eddie purposely made sure to never let it get to that point where him and Harrington even fought.

When it was their junior year and Steve smashed Jonathan Byers camera he didn't stick anything into his locker. Eddie had heard the stories about Jonathan but thought they had been sick rumors. So as he watched Steve destroy the boys' camera, something was off. The preppy boy had never really gone that far before, sure he was a dick but not as bad as everyone else. Eddie had walked over to help the Byers kid who he felt bad for. He just lost his brother and now his stuff was being destroyed. But when he picks up one of the ripped photos on the ground and sees a very shirtless Nancy Wheeler he understood completely. He rips the image to shreds before he's heading into the school.

After that, he had a new respect for the King that most didn't get. Though it started off innocent it was slowly starting to become something that bothered Eddie. His heart would raise when he would watch Steve Harrington kiss Nancy Wheeler. Not even realizing he was putting himself into her place. The way his stomach would do flips whenever he watched the other play basketball on the skins team, or the way he couldn't even look in the others' general direction in the showers without feeling a little aroused. He had pushed his dirty thoughts to the side as intrusive thoughts. Though Eddie was a smart boy, even though he didn't know if he was going to piece it together at some point.

After what seems like forever everything starts to click into place and make sense. As he watched fellow male classmates get girlfriends he slowly started to realize that he hasn't started the typical girl craze as every other guy had. Even the kids that he helped protect were in the girl craze. After listening to one of the boys, John, talk about one of the cheerleaders Shay it slowly clicked in his brain that those were the feelings he had for Steve. Where he wanted to make out with him so bad and know how he tasted to the way he wanted to cuddle with him. Hold him in his arms as if he was something that needed protecting. This was not normal for a guy to be feeling he had started to realize.

He slowly started to fall off the bandwagon after this, willingly swimming in the disgusted looks and remarks he received from everyone without a fight. So far in denial, he convinces himself that it was just a Steve Harrington thing. Something he would be able to forget about after high school. His thought process was that because he's never shown any attraction to another male before that if he avoided thinking about the pretty rich boy he would be okay. He would be back to normal. But this little realization had opened the flood gates that couldn't be closed again. Now that he was mentally trying to ignore the other it seemed more difficult than he had thought before.

Where ever he looked Steve Harrington seemed to be there filling his thoughts. When he had to go to the bathroom the other seemed to be always coming out from there. Whenever he finished a hellfire session the other seemed to be getting out of a sports game with his girlfriend on his hip. Another thing that he's never thought he would get jealous about. He never thought he would be jealous of Nancy Wheeler. Someone that he deemed a bit of a gold digger but couldn't place a finger on why. His last straw was when he shows up at a party for the first time in a while and it seems almost obvious Steve just got into a fight with his girlfriend. Though this wasn't the thing that set him off. It was Billy Hargrove.

He knew that Billy was a new kid and he never paid much attention to him until now. His heart beats in his throat as he stumbles over himself a bit, his eyes never leaving the other boy's body. It was something a little worst than Steve. He wasn't romantically interested in the dickhead but he was very much sexually attracted. Fidgeting with his new ring as he looks at Billy Hargrove's gloved hands. The way his mouth wrapped around the cigarette he had been smoking. Eddie wasn't sure what was Billy and what was Neal Hargrove. Who used to live in town when he was younger and was a well-known racist drunk. On some levels, Eddie could understand the other but after that, he hated the guy. Hated his personality but hated how hot the other was.

Later that night he decided he needed to cool off somehow. His mind was just picturing all of these dirty images of Billy on top of him but the other side was picturing Steve underneath him. This was only causing his brain to go even more crazy. He needed something to relax and he's done drugs before but he's never needed them like this before. He knew his Uncle was cool with him smoking just as long as he was responsible. Eddie had never been properly high, but he was aware of how to smoke. He gets everything set up a little bit on the sloppy side and he starts to take hit after hit nonstop until he couldn't properly think.

The plan seems to backfire as he smokes it slowly starts to dawn on him. On how fucking hot David Hasselhoff from Knight-Ridder was. The way his hair blew back when he was driving with the windows down. Reminding him of Billy a little bit, and those disgusting thoughts slowly start to come back and eat him alive. But unlike earlier Eddie's thoughts were slow enough for him to understand and catch now, compared to the complete blurred mess that he was used to from the second he got up to the second he went to bed. The thoughts weren't the only thing that seemed to slow down. The energy that was constantly pumping through his bones seemed to be gone now as he watches TV and his anxiety. He's probably an hour into his high before realizing that his goal of not thinking about guys like that was very unsuccessful.

Having his first case of the munchies he's snatching a Big Mac from the fast food bag his Uncle brought home from work the night before. Sure it was hours old, but it seemed to please his stomach enough to shut it up so he could focus on what his brain was trying to tell him. Eddie sits there with smoke surrounding him as his face goes a tad pale. Fuck. I think I'm Gay, and I'm not completely disgusted by this the more that I think more about the possibility.

Eddie now knew that it helped a lot that his Uncle was fairly progressive when it came to things. As in the 70's he had once been a stoner and in his words partied a little too hard that some mornings he woke up next to a guy instead of a girl. Eddie wasn't ever disgusted by the idea of his Uncle being with men. He wasn't disgusted by boys being together at all. He was just grateful that his Uncle had been chill with those types of things and showed that throughout the years. Though now that the long-haired boy thought about it, the adult seemed to be hinting at something and he can't help but think, he can't possibly know, can he? Though now that it finally clicked in his brain and he's come to terms with it after a bowl of wee, he now knows that if his Uncle wasn't so open that he probably would have been really homophobic about the situation. Like most guys were.

Eddie soon started to smoke regularly after that, and discovered things that he wouldn't normally have if he was sober. Like how freaking good 'The Outsiders' were when he wasn't focused on how embarrassing it was for him, a seventeen-year-old boy to be watching that. That and how fucking hot Tom Cruise was. His new hyper fixations soon settled into movies, though it slowly started to form around Black Sabbath and even more on DnD not long after that. Though it was just the beginning of his gay awakening he was pretty sure he was a hundred percent gay. There was no doubt in his mind about that at all. He couldn't feel more alive than he did then.

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Now here he sits years later in a brand new trailer that he never thought would be called his, in front of a small crowd of teens and adults. Uncle Wayne had gladly taken an offer from the government to replace theirs not knowing the other had a portal to a different world in it. With his Uncle not knowing the truth about anything, Eddie had slowly started to discover that he was having a very difficult time coping. He had never lied to his Uncle about anything and him being gay had gone unspoken for years between the two of them. So he had never felt guilty about not telling the older man that secret. Unlike Eddie, though he finds that everyone else in the trailer had seemed to have gotten over the recent events. God knows how.

After everything, they had all gone their separate ways to recover and Eddie found himself nearly ripping his hair out within seconds of being in his room again. Though he couldn't spend long in there as a group of strange men started to force the tired boy into packing everything that he loved. Wayne had seemed to have already done that and Eddie was hoping to see him as soon as possible. But unlike he had expected they met up days later in front of the spot that once held their old trailer seeing it had been replaced. They both immediately hugged each other and started to prepare for their new beginnings. Eddie with his new reputation of being an ex-accused murderer and his Uncle who was now a new employee at a government-owned factory. Which brought in a lot more money than before.

As they settled in the new place he didn't waste time lighting a joint and got stoned thinking about how fucking hot Steve had been throughout the whole experience. The way he had bit into a bat and killed the shit out of it. Though his thoughts did take him back to their high-school days together like normal. The way his body had looked when he was wearing his vest to the way he seemed to show concern for all of the kids and not himself. All of it was hot. The whole babysitting thing seemed to be doing something for Eddie's old crush on the other male. Knowing he was great with children made his heart go crazy and his stomach do flips. As he sits there smoking, his thoughts started to slow down and he can't hold back the first small smiles he's had for days. He might have a chance to become friends with Steve Harrington. His Gay Awakening.

Now days later after that realization, the next big realization was that he's never going to be back to his normal. After everything, everyone looked at him as if he was a bigger freak and he could barely get a job let alone go back to school now. He was never going to be the same again. Every time he tried to walk through town people would start throwing shit at him in hopes of scaring him away from their precious yet cursed community. There was no hope of returning to school. Every teacher gave him a look and some even had the balls to pull him to the side and tell him to get the fuck out of their classroom. Though the students had been far worse. Tossing him around like a rag doll. Without Steve and Robin there he had no one who could stick up for him. What the hell was a mouthy freshman like Dustin supposed to do? It would only make things worst and Eddie forced the boys to promise to never stick their necks out for him again.

Weeks passed faster than what he remembered them being and his eyes held bags. Of course, the logical thing was to drop out, and that he did. Refusing to return to the shit hole known as Hawkins High. Which was understandable after everything. The rest of the gang had seemed to settle back into their day-to-day lives and Eddie was currently the only one who hadn't. He was even more of an outcast, while they all seemed to be holding on day by day with him being dragged behind them. Nancy had gone back to the newspaper dedicating it to her friend there that had died, Jonathan and his family moved back to town with the Towns old Sheriff, Steve and Robin were doing whatever they had been doing before and the rest of the kids started to be kids again.

Though to Eddie's shock, they all seemed to have noticed his falling out. The way he moped around more. He stuck out like a sore thumb and he was pretty sure they were all here to pity him. That and he was pretty sure Dustin had only thrown this together so that Eddie would join Hellfire again and write a new campaign. Which he hadn't done in over a month now.

Sitting there right across from him Dustin sat. His very judging eyes took in Eddie's hair which had grown into a rattier nest compared to the last time they had been together. His curls falling further down his back now along with his bangs covering his eyes almost completely. Wearing the same Black Sabbath shirt for the fifth day in a row with obvious pit stains that proved that fact. He stunk of weed and looked like he hadn't slept in days. He was so lost in his head that if this was months ago he would have noticed the way Steve was staring at him. He would have thrived underneath the look.

Steve Harrington's eyes were staring the other up and down and couldn't help but feel bad for the other. He remembered back to the days when he was like this. Though unlike now, no one showed up to save him from the darkness that had seemed to find its way around him. Currently, Eddie looked like one of those dogs from one of that SPCA commercials. Like he had been abandoned on the side of the road and forgotten. Which truth be told sort of happened. Steve had been so focused on recovering himself that he didn't realize that Eddie might need someone just as badly as Steve had needed someone when he was in the same position. Eddie's big sad brown eyes were the selling point for comparing him to a puppy. Like the animal, Steve was sure he probably would give in within seconds if the other even bothered asking for anything. Reminding him of the days he dated Nancy, little images of her doe eyes flashing through his brain remembering how she would give him a look and he was immediately running to do whatever she asked from him. Steve had been too distracted staring at the other boy he wasn't even aware that Dustin had started talking.

"We're starting hellfire back up and we want you there. But you don't fucking leave your trailer enough to even smell the roses before booking it back inside." Dustin says like he was the smartest one in the room. Steve rolls his eyes and catches that Eddie's doing the same. Steve isn't the only one to look at Dustin with a what the fuck look. Robin is too. Everyone had grown used to his insensitivity but this wasn't one of those moments that anyone was willing to let him be an asshole.

"Dustin," Robin says in a higher and annoying pitch. "What the fuck dude. Just because you're handling this shit better than Munson doesn't give you the right to treat him like shit." The girls looked at him with a very upset look. It wasn't often she got annoyed but it was normally because of Dustin. Who looks over at Steve for confirmation that he was being too much. Steve can't help but feel a tad annoyed too. Though he noticed how everyone's eyes turn to him now, expecting him to say something.

"Too far dude. Robin's right, you aren't being all that respectful. How would you feel if someone came walking in when you first went through this crap and shat all over the ways you were coping with things. Not everyone has the same reaction to things Henderson." Steve speaks and Dustin listens. Something he had started to do a little bit less lately. His hat holds his hair in place as he tries to say something but Steve's quick to add. "And you need to stop always looking at me whenever Robin says something. If you don't respect her enough to listen to her opinion you mind as well as say bye to your personal cab." Steve adds seriously as Robin looks over at him giving a small smile. Something that had been caught by Eddie who felt a pang of jealousy blooming in his chest.

Dustin only rolls his eyes at the threat as he crosses his arms a bit. Steve doesn't understand what has been going on with him but it's starting to piss him off. Though he always has to remind himself the other was just a teenager going through puberty during a shitty time of being forced to fight monsters.

"So, we've all discussed it and everyone here's willing to hang out with you whenever. Soon you'll be known as Eddie the freak grandpa who pisses on his lawn to water it, Munson, if you don't start going back into society again." Dustin rants more and everyone's looking at each other with raised eyebrows. Eddie's even doing the same as he hasn't heard the other talk to anyone like this before.

Steve's taking a pillow and throwing it at Dustin. "That's it, shut up dude. You are way out of line right now. Just because you seem to think you are better than the rest of us, doesn't mean you can be a dick." Dustin's trying to move to say something but Steve's giving him a look and he's shutting up as Mike is the one to break the silence.

"I guess Dustin's trying to force us to babysit you. And being a complete dick about it too. By the way, none of us mind hanging out with you at all. Will's good at playing DnD and he has more hours into it than me and Dustin combined. And like Dustin said, we're starting a new campaign which should start Monday if everything goes to plan." Mike speaks and Eddie listens. His eyes move over to the Byers kid who he catches looking at Mike. He's almost immediately raising an eyebrow at the way the other had been looking at Wheeler but he didn't want to bring attention to it.

Dustin's piping back in now even though everyone wanted him to shut up pretty much. He was completely embarrassed and pissing the group off all at once. "Yeah, and I know you probably don't want to be hanging around Freshman but Robin and Steve can hang out." He's looking between the two as they both nod watching Dustin skeptically as they let him finish. "And they're actually really cool. I think you'll actually like them. Though Steve doesn't hang out with anyone on Wednesdays. He calls them his 'fuck off' days. But I'm sure he'll be willing to hang out that day too." Dustin smiles causing Steve and Robin to look at each other.

Steve's quick to jump in, "Dustin I've told you three times man that I'm not hanging out with anyone that day. I'm barely home as is anymore and I can't even shower longer than five minutes because I'm always driving people around to god knows where. I made it very clear that day was a no go for me all around the board. I'll gladly kidnap Munson here and hang out with him if he wants, I need someone to go with the theaters with anyway. But I'm not giving up the one day I want to myself, and we both know you're only trying to guilt trip me into hanging out with Eddie so that you can get me to drive you to that DnD store." He rambles out as everyone raises an eyebrow. Robin smiles nodding her head with a grin sticking her thumbs up. Everyone was becoming aware of how she had been trying to help Steve set boundaries with Dustin. Who has been taking advantage of him for a long time now? For that Dustin didn't like her thinking she was trying to ruin his friendship with Steve.

"Was this your doing Buckley?" Dustin accuses as he looks at her with squinted eyes. Robin raises an eyebrow, and slowly this intervention isn't about Eddie anymore. The group was always too chaotic to stay organized and to stay on one topic. There were just way too many of them and to many opinions constantly flying around. So Steve's seeing what's about to happen a mile away.

Harrington immediately moves getting tired of standing and moving to sit on the couch next to Eddie. Even though he didn't know the others all that well he always had this thing about pleasing others. And it seems like Eddie really needed cheering up, and as the people pleaser he was he's glad to be the first to attempt to help the other out. Steve had always been good at reading other people and their needs and he knew the other probably didn't want all of the attention on him because he was struggling. So immediately he's moving closer to the other whispering as softly as he can,

"The shit heads been only talking about you for the past week and it's sort of hurting my ego man. You're supposed to be the jealous one here not me." Steve teased softly before adding. "Though shut up, I want to watch this unfold. Dustin's totally going to get his ass chewed out again and you're totally talking way to much." He says playfully. He remembered how the other was in the upside down and try's to imitate that. If he was honest he sort of wanted to hear the other ramble on about Ozzy again. Harrington, like the rest of the group hasn't heard the other speak for week.

Steve catches onto Eddie's amused look as his brown eyes meet Steve's. The shorter haired boy can't help but smile a little bit at the other before he's looking around finding a bag of chips stuck in between the crack of the couch cushion. He was really hungry and was forced to skip breakfast for this meeting, Dustin had scared the shit out of him and made him think that Vecna was back and he ran out the door immediately when he got the call.

Steve was fully aware that the chips were probably old and stale but he didn't care. His stomach was growling loud enough that Eddie had even heard. Blushing the hungry boy almost misses the others soft whisper back, "Jesus Harrington, did one of those Demon bats find its way into your stomach?" He teases softly and Steve can't help but look very amused as he chuckles rolling his eyes playfully. "Though I don't know if I would eat those if I were you, they've probably been sat on and been there for days now." Eddie warns softly.

Steve opens it anyway looking inside as he ignores the amount of eyes on him and the warning that he seemed to be the only one who had caught. Eddie's even looking at him full on now instead of trying to be nonchalant about it. And there's this spark in his eyes that Dustin can't help but catch onto. Something that only reached his eyes when he was playing DnD. Though they were all aware of the amused smile on Munson's face, but Dustin knew the other could be smiling the hugest grin and that crazy look in his eye wouldn't be there. Even Robin was even looking over for a second as she starts to scold Dustin, but then she's going back to Dustin who snaps out of the trance he was in.

Steve's reaching inside the plastic and popping a chip in his mouth as he chews slowly trying to figure it out. He's raising a eyebrow at everyone now as they look at him disgusted. "Should I remind everyone that I bit into a bat when I was in the Upside Down. I'm pretty sure Stale chips that have been in Eddie Munson's couch for god knows how long won't kill me. This could be way worst." Steve says interrupting Robin for a second who simply rolls her eyes a little amused before going back at Dustin ranting at him some more.

Then he's turning to offer Eddie some. "Hey man, you have no room to judge me. The chips were in your sofa not mine." Steve says with a mouthful of chips and Eddie's reaching in to grab a few. He's also had far worst things in his mouth then week old stale chips. He simply pops them in his mouth before he's turning to watch Robin rip into Henderson with Steve tuning into the end of it.

"You are the most obnoxious kid I've ever met. Steve has canceled on me five times just to go pick you up from whatever the hell you were doing. You do know gas isn't free right? Doesn't grow on trees? So why the fuck are you making him drive you everywhere when you have a Bike?" Robin rants at him. "You are fully aware that you are walking all over him and taking advantage of him and yet I don't see you doing anything nice in return, except argue with him about every little thing. It was his idea to come and check up on Eddie, and you twisted it into some stupid intervention. So why don't you bug off and stop trying to act like you are older then us. We all know you're smarter but it doesn't give you the right to bully Steve because he's not the brightest of the bunch. Look at him Dustin. He's eating ass chips out of Eddie Munson's couch. That in itself deserves pity not judgment. God knows how long they've been there!" Steve's chewing slowly before furrowing his eyebrows.

"Should I be offended by that?" Steve asks confused as Eddie speaks up for the first time sense everyone's been in the trailer.

"It's the tone right?" He asks as he turns his head to look at Steve who looks at him and nods his head agreeing. Steve swallows the chip he was chewing as he pauses for a second.

"It really is, I can't really tell if she's being sarcastic, serious or patronizing me. I really suck at tones man." Steve says as the two of them seem to be the only ones clicking right now. And god Eddie was freaking out inside that Steve Harrington was next to him right now talking to him like this.

Eddie throws his hands up happily as he thinks he's finally found someone who understands him. "Finally! I'm not the only one who finds it difficult to figure this shit out. I genuinely can't tell if I'm being talked to as a friend or as a freak for not leaving my trailer in weeks." He huffs as Steve offers him more chips. Steve nods his head in understanding as he hums a bit as crumbs fall on his shirt.

"If I'm honest man, you should totally come out more. Trust me, it doesn't get better being cooped up in here by yourself. If I had these many people to help out me when I first found out about Monsters, I would honestly fucking cry. I'm just going to sum all of this up before a fist fight happens in the middle of your living room. That and so we can get out of your hair. What we're trying to say is that we are here for you. That you aren't alone. And if you want to hang out sometime drop on by to my place. " Steve smiles before catching the time on his watch.

"Though I should probably get going, my parents are finally in town for the first time since before everything started and they have finally noticed I haven't moved out of their place yet." Steve rambles out a bit and Eddie can't help but follow the others movements and listen to him. "And they are sort of really pissed with me right now so yeah-" he says awkwardly setting the bag of chips to the side standing up and moving around the crowd as he moves to the front entrance.

Before Steve opens the door Eddie asks, "what's airing at the theaters Harrington?" He asks curious as he leans back on his hands a bit watching the other. Steve looks confused as to why the other would want to know before it clicks in his head what the other was suggesting. His brain nearly going blank as he realizes that Eddie 'The Freak' Munson seemed to be more interested in hanging out with him the anyone else in the room.

"Alien and The second Poltergeist." Steve answers before he's leaving.

[thefatedthoughtofyou]

Eddie does this... thing. Steve isn't sure if there's a name for it. Or if it's just a thing. Robin always jokes that Eddie's autism is showing. And he just snorts at her and shakes his head, but he keeps doing it, his cheeks tinted pink.

He counts things.

They aren't always things everyone can see. About half the time Eddie is just counting in his head. But he mumbles the numbers outloud, barely audible. But Steve hears it. Steve can't hear much, most of the time, but he somehow always manages to hear Eddie counting. Or at least notices his lips moving, numbers rolling off them genlty.

It calms him down. Steve noticed that fast. Eddie would count his breathing during panic attacks and then when he helped Steve or Robin through their panic attacks, and somewhere along the line, Steve just started,  counting along with him.

Not outloud. And Eddie hadn't noticed him nodding along to the counting, not yet at least. But it never failed. Eddie would start counting and Steve's brain would follow along happily.

They're sitting on Eddie's couch. It's the middle of summer. The air outside is hot and sticky. The air in the trailer isn't much better. But Steve had brought over his personal air conditioner that had been sitting in the garage not being used for years. Eddie had protested but Steve refused to take it back.

The living room was cooler than it had been the last few days. The sun had just gone down. Eddie's thigh was pressed against his, like it normally was these days, heat or not. Eddie would sit himself next to Steve, their sides smooshed together. Steve hadn't moved away, not once, despite the heat.

Eddie was wearing a cut off shirt, Steve was in jean shorts and a lightweight yellow t-shirt. Some movie Steve had never seen was on the tv, but all Steve could focus on was the way Eddie was pressed against him. The warmth of his skin seeping into his ribs.

And then Eddie starts counting.

Steve smiles to himself. Following along. Glancing at Eddie carefully when his counting pauses, like he was searching for the next thing he was counting. Steve had never been brave enough to ask about it. Was just happy Eddie felt safe enough around him to let him hear it at all.

And then Eddie's fingers hit Steve's arm and he can't breathe. Eddie's finger tips walk up his arm, pressing genlty at certain points as they go. Steve's heart flutters when Eddie's fingers press up under his shirt, curl in the material and shove it up as Eddie mumbles,

"Can I just-" between numbers. He smiles when he gets Steve's sleeve up over his shoulder, his fingers poking at Steve's skin as he counts. And it clicks.

He's counting Steve's freckles.

His fingers dancing over his skin as he counts, whispering numbers as he turns on his couch cushion, his knee pressing hard into Steve's thigh. Steve doesn't care. Steve doesn't feel it.

All Steve can feel is Eddie's breath ghosting over his warm skin as he counts. His chilly fingertips, and warm breath, causing goosebumps to spead, making Steve shiver.

He swallows, hard, as Eddie's fingers poke the moles on his neck. Steve smiles when Eddie whispers to himself.

"Lil vampire bite." He says, moving one finger across them genlty. Steve clenches his fists, presses them into his thighs, tries to stay still. To let Eddie stay in this world he's in. Because he's lost right now. Steve knows he is. He's a touchy feely guy, but this, this is different.

He's lost in his counting. Lost in Steve. It's fucking intoxicating. Steve could live in this bubble forever, all of Eddie's attention on him like he's the most interesting thing he's ever seen.

Steve reminds himself to breathe at the wrong moment. Eddie's fingers move over his cheek, he's almost reached thirty, and Steve honestly didn't know he had that many freckles and moles. But he learns new things about himself from Eddie everyday. He sucks in air as Eddie's fingers press into his cheek and Eddie startles.

His hand jerks back, his eyes flutter and then lock onto Steve's. Because he'd been watching Eddie. Watching Eddie look at him. And Eddie swallows hard, his fist clenching in the air before he pulls it to his chest. Holds it there with his other hand, his cheeks now a deep pink, Steve can see it crawling up to his ears.

"Shit. Sorry. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have. Fuck." He breathes, looks into his lap. And Steve smiles. Can't help it. He reaches out, his fingers curling around Eddie's wrist.

Eddie's eyes snap to him, wide, and nervous, as he watches Steve move his hand back to his face. He presses Eddie's palm to his cheek, nuzzles into the touch.

"You can keep going. You were at... twenty seven, I think." Steve whispers, not wanting to break the quiet bubble they've settled into. Eddie blinks at him. Steve feels his fingers twitch against his face.

"Twenty....seven?" Eddie says it like a question. Unsure. Confused.

"You were counting again." Steve says, leans further into Eddie's hand. He hears Eddie's breath shutter.

"I was touching you." Eddie says, his brows furrowing, like he's still confused.

"I know. I liked it." Steve assures, nodding his head, letting Eddie feel it against his hand.

"Yeah?" He breathes.

"Yeah. Of course." Steve turns a little then, facing him more.

"I like when you count too." Steve admits. Finally. Eddie's nose scrunches, he snorts, and Steve lets him have his hand back. He lets his fall to Steve's shoulder, his fingers almost instantly tangling in the hair at the back of Steve's neck. They find their way there most nights Steve is here, his hand on the back of the couch always finding Steve somehow.

"No you don't. No one does. It annoys people. It's weird." Eddie shakes his head, but he's smiling, and blushing, and Steve wants to kiss his bright red cheeks, wants to feel their warmth against his lips.

"It's addicting." Steve counters. Eddie's eyes widen.

"Is it?" He sounds shocked. Steve nods.

"Yeah. I do it all the time now. Even when you aren't doing it. Or aren't even around. I just... count things. You were right. It's calming." Steve says, his hands finding Eddie's, moving his fingers across Eddie's rings.

"You said it was addicting." Eddie mumbled.

"What?"

"You said it was addicting. The counting." Eddie says, finally looking up from his lap. His eyes soft when they find Steve's.

"Oh. Guess I did yeah. Is that... is that bad?" Steve asks, turning one of Eddie's rings around his finger. Eddie shakes his head, once, the red tint crawling down his neck now. The hand Steve's not fiddling with finds its way to the back of Eddie's neck, he rubs the skin there and blinks a few times before looking into his lap again.

"No. Just... no one's ever called anything about me addicting before. Annoying? Yes. Addicting? Not so much. But you did. And you said it like-" Eddie's teeth dig into his bottom lip.

"Like what?" Steve nudges his knee into Eddie, fighting not to smile.

"Like it was a good thing. I guess?" Eddie shrugs. Steve reaches up then, lets go of Eddie's hand and cups his cheek instead, lifting his head so Eddie can see him.

"It is a good thing. The best thing. I could listen to you count all day." Steve smiles then, mirroring Eddie as he laughs a little.

"Oh yeah? You might regret that. I've actually been trying to hold back on it. I know I do it a lot." Eddie shakes his head, frowns a little. Steve moves, presses closer, shakes his head.

"Don't. Don't hold back. Count whatever you want. Whenever you want." He breathes between them.

"Okay." Eddie says, hesitant, he sounds nervous. Steve pulls back a bit, brows furrowed, and then Eddie darts forward, presses his lips to Steve's cheek.

"One." He says when he's settled back on his cushion. His cheeks even more red than before. Steve snorts, opens his mouth to say something but Eddie moves again. His lips hit next to Steve's eyebrow.

"Two."

He presses his lips close to Steve's ear.

"Three." Steve laughs. Eddie kissed his neck twice.

"Four. Five." He breathes, as Steve catches him, doesn't let him settle back down this time. Keeps him close. One hand on the back of Eddie's neck, one hand trailing his fingertips over Eddie's nose, and his cheeks.

"You've got them too ya know? Not like mine. But ... little ones. All over." Steve breathes, his fingers moving slowly over Eddie face until they linger on his lips. Just for a moment, before he cupped Eddie's cheek.

"You wanna count 'em?" Eddie asks, he sounds breathless, and Steve had barely touched him. They were both on their knees now. Their chests nearly pressed together.

"Maybe later. Got something better in mind right now." Steve breathes, eyes dropping to Eddie's mouth. He watches Eddie gulp and smiles.

"Oh yeah? L-like what?" Eddie stammers. His hands grabbing at Steve's waist to keep himself steady.

"Probably better if I just show you." Steve sighs, presses his forehead to Eddie's.

"Okay. Yeah. I'm- I'm definitely a learn by example kinda guy. So that's- that works for me." Eddie rambles, his mouth moving a mile a minute. Steve moves his nose along Eddie's and nods.

"Yeah. Okay. Sounds good. I can do that." Steve agrees, not sure what he's really agreeing too, he just knows he wants to kiss this boy. His friend. Eddie. He wants to kiss Eddie so bad. Has for awhile now. He feels Eddie's hands, one of them moving to his shoulder where his sleeve is still pulled up, Eddie's palm is warm on his arm.

Eddie huffs a nervous laugh and that's all it takes.

Steve kisses him. Gently. Eddie's lips fumble against his for a moment. His inexperience making Steve's stomach flutter. His hands grab at Eddie, pull him closer. Eddie whines against his lips and Steve pulls back, doesn't want to overwhelm him too much.

Eddie drops his head to Steve's shoulder with a breathy laugh. Steve pets at his hair, curls his fingers into it like he's wanted to for ages and pulls genlty, so he can look at Eddie's face.

"You okay?" He asks. Eddie nods, smiles.

"Six." He says, his cheeks dimpling. Steve smiles back, shakes his head. Presses a kiss to the tip of Eddie's nose.

"Seven." Eddie says, no hesitation. Steve swears he honest to god giggles, but would never admit it to anyone.

Eddie's eyes tint with a mix of mischief and seriousness that's all his own as his fingers curl around the hem of Steve shirt.

"Okay seriously though take this off, I wasn't done counting." His voice is completely serious. And Steve, feeling brave, decides to match it, and tugs his shirt up over his head, careful not to hit Eddie in the face. Eddie barks a manic sounding laugh as Steve falls back, pulling Eddie down too, so that he's stradling him.

"Go on then. Count away." Steve shoves his hands under his head, smiles up at Eddie as he looks wide eyed down at Steve. He's bright red, but then his eyes focus, and his hands move to gently touch the skin covering Steve's ribs. His finger tips press down, tickling a bit, as he whispers,

"Twenty eight." His eyes jump to Steve's face, he gives him an encouraging nod, and that's all Eddie needs apparently. Because he starts counting in earnest, his hands moving over Steve's freckles quickly. Numbers falling past his lips, his counting calming Steve the way almost nothing else does.

He gets to fifty and stops. Leans down and presses a kiss to Steve's shoulder.

"Eight." He whispers, and then keeps going. He kisses and counts his way across Steve's skin until he's laying on top of Steve, his hand in his hair. Pressing gentle kisses into Steve's neck as he smiles into Eddie's shoulder, the little voice in his head counting along, in sync with Eddie in a way he'd never expected to be, feeling content as Eddie's numbers become more garbled. Until they fade completely as Eddie drifts off, his breath heavy on Steve's neck.

Steve smiles, moves them a bit so they're settled on the couch a bit better. Eddie doesn't wake. Steve watches him sleep. Soothes his fingers over the crease in Eddie's eyebrows until it smooths out and he melts further into the couch. He smiles at him, closes his eyes as Eddie's arm squeezes around him, pulling him closer. Steve sighs, sinks deeper into the couch as he feels sleep dragging him under. But not before he mumbles, sleepy and soft,

"One." Making sure he marks this. The first time they fall asleep tangled together, the smile on his lips fading as he drifts off to sleep, dreaming of all the never ending numbers in their future.

[autisticbokutoenthusiast]

for this autism awareness month i present a compilation of gregory from abbott elementary being an autistic coded king!!!

[blackwithenby]

thinking about autistic eddie munson who doesn't always pick up on innuendos

he's talking really eagerly about guitar, and steve's watching him with a bit of a smirk. he goes, "oh, you must be pretty good with your fingers, then, huh? maybe you should show me later."

and eddie, blissfully oblivious, just lights up and responds with, "you wanna see my technique? i'm really proud of it, it's taken me years to perfect!"

and steve, horny though he is, just wills his dick to soften because he can't bring himself to pop eddie's bubble and risk losing that bright smile. he just nods and says, "yeah! yeah, i'd love to see."

(of course eddie realizes what he means hours after showing steve said finger technique, and lets out a loud, "ohhhh! he wanted me to finger him!" in the middle of the weekly movie night the party has)

[transmunsons]

Eddie doing a deal with Steve at that picnic table after school. Eddie’s on his second senior year and pissed off about it. He’s trying to be cordial to Harrington, but he keeps remembering how the basketball team messes with his Hellfire kids.

So he up charges him, gets a little petty revenge; he’s sure Harrington can afford it anyway. The extra money can go toward Eddie’s T payments.

Something rustles in the woods and Harrington freezes, listening. Some kind of wet, furless animal jumps out of the trees in a blur.

Before Eddie can react, Harrington grabs his hand and pulls him up, heading to the closest sanctuary, the high school. Eddie’s freaking out. They run into the building, and Harrington pulls them into the janitors closet. He lunges to the back, reaching for a mop, but Eddie hears a wet skittering in the hallway and slams the door shut. Harrington whips around at the noise and the sudden darkness. Eddie holds his breath until the creature passes.

“What the fuck is out there?” He hisses at Harrington. The closet is cramped and the floor is littered with cleaning supplies. They're right up on top of one another in the small space. “This is crazy, this is so fucking crazy—”

“Calm down!” Harrington hisses back, closer than he expects, breath brushing against Eddie's cheek.

“Calm? Why are you calm, what's wrong with you?” Eddie's heart is pounding so hard he thinks it might burst out of his chest. He can't breathe. “We just almost got attacked by some fuckin' thing!” He flutters his hands to emphasize 'thing' though Steve probably can't see it in the dark. He smacks a shelf.

“I've seen something like it before, it's some kind of demogorgon.” Harrington says. Eddie splutters. The king of Hawkins High just made a DnD reference.

“How do you—that is not a demogorgon, Harrington! Demogorgons don't exist and even if they did, they don't look like that!”

“Hey, you asked and I answered. And my name is Steve.” He reaches around Eddie and tries the door handle. He's practically hugging him.

Steve swears and flicks on the light switch, illuminating the closet. “It's stuck.”

Eddie can see Steve's face properly now in all its glory. The overhead bulb gleams off Steve's stupidly long eyelashes. He almost wants to turn the light back off. His breathing is still restricted.

“Guess we're trapped in here until somebody comes by.” Steve says.

Eddie balks at the thought of being stuck with Steve in close quarters for so long. “No we're not, just gimme a second.”

Eddie shoves a hand up under his Dio shirt so he can pull his bindings a little away from his chest.

“What are you doing?” Steve sounds alarmed. His eyes are wide.

“Don't get excited,” Eddie winks because apparently he has a death wish, “just need to breathe. Get me a flathead screwdriver. The door opens inward.”

Steve snaps his fingers and points at him, “Right, the hinges!” He turns around to rustle through the shelves, which Eddie, uh, doesn’t mind. Goddamn.

He faces Eddie again with a flathead in his hands and a triumphant look. Eddie grabs it with a ‘thanks’ and goes to work prying pins out of the hinges. He can feel Steve watching him. Eddie gets the door loose and shoves it open, catching it so it doesn’t make noise.

Steve stalks past him wielding a mop like a weapon.

“Where are you going?” Eddie stage whispers.

Steve looks over his shoulder at Eddie, hair artfully falling out of place. “I’ve gotta find that thing, I’m not gonna let it roam the school.”

Eddie looks at Steve, looks back at the exit, looks down at the tile floor.

“Shit.”

He follows.

[hotluncheddie]

Hug.

wc: 3.4k | rated: T | cw: meltdown, burnout | tags: autistic eddie munson, hurt/comfort, pre relationship, pining, hugging | ao3

.𖥔˚

Eddie Munson has a secret. 

He doesn’t know how to hug. 

Sure, he knows how in theory, and he has been hugged before, with mixed reactions. But it’s been a while. Been a long while actually. So long that embarrassingly, part of him, dreads the day he gets the urge to hug someone. Because he doesn’t think he’ll be able to do it right. 

With Wayne they’re in a routine of shoulder pats or a side on squeeze. If Eddie’s having a really bad time he can curl near him on the ratty sofa and likes to rest his forehead on his uncles shoulder, Wayne’s work worn hands coming up to ruffle his hair, let him be for a while. 

But they don’t really hug. Not for real. Not really. 

And Eddie doesn’t mind, is the thing. He doesn’t need that from his uncle. 

With the hellfire boys it’s always been nudges and poking and a friendly kind of wrestled, headlock, type thing. That’s the line, that’s the boundary. And Eddie’s okay with that too, they’re friends, they’re guys, they’re good people but Eddie just doesn’t think he can show that part of himself to them. The part that doesn’t know, the part that sort of wants more but is too afraid to ask. 

Sometimes the thought or actuality of someone touching him makes him kind of queasy. Makes him twist his rings and pull his hair. He doesn’t want it. Not always.

He knows his Nana used to hug him, before she passed away, and his Mom probably did too, he just can’t really remember. But that was normal, that’s what Moms and Nana’s do. But he doesn’t get that now. That type of hugging. 

Then Eddie meets Steve, meets Steve in the upside down. A different Steve than he’d known of in school. A slightly different Steve again once they’re all out, all healed and patched and the horrors hidden away. 

He meets that Steve. And Eddie, Eddie thinks he wants to hug him. 

He knows he’s being a little weird about it. Fluttering in and out of Steve’s space, never quite letting himself touch, never more than a brush of fingers or a nudge of his hip. Never staying still enough to let Steve make a move on what he wants. 

But then the choice is sort of made for the both of them. Pushed together by fate, maybe, if you believe in that. 

All Eddie believes in, all Eddie knows, is that Steve’s house is so fucking loud. 

‘The walls Stevie they’re so, so white. And your fridge! It’s just, loud and and weird.’ Eddie had said, already frustrated when Steve came to pick him up, even more so once they arrived. 

And once he was inside, it was like everything doubled, tripled. Steve’s house was unbearable tonight. 

But Steve had just laughed and Eddie knew he would, knew from the way he’d said it, all loud and over the top - added inflections, a good DM. But, the thing is, he mentioned it because he meant it, for real. It’s too fucking loud, thrumming under his skin. 

Eddie’s curled up on the couch, everyone else over now too for a movie night. They’re usually enjoyable, seeing the kids, Robin, Nancy. It’s nice. 

But tonight, tonight it’s turned up loud and people are talking and it’s not a scary film but it kind of is. 

He’s biting the skin of his cuticles just to feel something other than itchy and floaty and dizzy with discomfort. His heart is beating too fast and he can hear the blood rushing in his ears. overlapping with the films crashing and static and the rustling of snacks and the cars outside. 

His skin feels sweaty against his clothes, sticking to the sofa and ripping him apart. 

It’s loud and Eddie is scared. 

He mutters ‘bathroom’ and thinks Steve next to him probably heard, even with his head resting on Robins shoulder. Doesn��t stop to find out. Doesn’t really care. Just needs to get out. 

He walks quickly to the stairs and tries not to sprint up them, but takes them two at a time, breathing heavily though his nose. 

Eddie closes the door to Steve’s upstairs bathroom, tears prickling his eyes as he steps from one foot to the other, rocking. His hand migrate to his hair, gripping and pulling harshly. tug stop, pain ebb. 

But the noise still travels, it’s better than in would’ve been in the downstairs bathroom but Eddie shoves the heels of his palms against his ears. He’s panting now, vision blurring. Shoulders and neck tense. 

He pushes against his ears harder, wants nothing, wants quiet. Wants it to bite. 

Thing is, he used to love noise. Would seek it out, find it wherever he could. He’d push practice to run late and he’d hang out at the hideout after their set, just to feel that press of voices all around him. The hum of the amps alone used to fill him up something magic, set his bones alight. 

As a kid he used to crinkle paper by his ears, just to hear it crackle and rustle, like white noise static in his brain and skin. Used to beg Wayne to take him to the junkyard every weekend just so he could bang on the big old rusty metal with a stick. Hear the hum crash, bellow and die out. The different tones, the different dents and scrapes changing the sound. He used to spend hours scrabbling around, trying everything he could to make enough sound, make enough noise, to feel that feeling of everything being full and alive and awake and amazing. 

Now though, after. After those bats screams burrowed into him and made noice synonymous with fear and pain and blood red darkness. Now he’s scared of the stray cats that meow in the night, grates his teeth if someone drags him to the diner, the buzz of the fluorescents and scraping of plates making him want to scream. 

Noise used to be his safe space, now he can’t even be in a room full of his friends. Can't tonight, not like this. And see, he’s always been weird but now even that’s changed.

He doesn’t even recognise himself anymore. 

It’s that thought, that fear, that has Eddie dropping to a crouch, knees under his chin. He leans against the bathtub and tries to steady his breathing. But the tears are slipping out and he feel his lungs contract, he can’t breath, he can’t. 

He pushes his hand harder into his ears, the blood rushing. Rocks so his back hits the tub, thud, thud thud. Remembers how horrible those weeks in hospital were, the bed sheets and the beeping and the smell. It would’ve been horrid anyway but after those days full of fear, that adrenaline he’d gone through but not processed. It was unbearable. 

And he’s still not back, not recovered. He’s so tired. Everything’s so tiring. He can only manage to leave the trailer maybe once a week, when he’s dragged out, taken to something by Steve or Wayne or Dustin. (They try for more but Eddie thinks that might actually make him loose it.) He goes out and tries to act normal, tries to keep the people around him from leaving. Goes out but it all feels different. 

He misses the weight and smell of his leather jacket, his jeans from before and wallet chain he used to fiddle with. Misses who he was when he had those things, who he thought he could be.  

Otherwise he’s in his room, trying to feel better. Sleeping a lot, listening to the same album over and over, eating the same thing just because anything else would be too much. Press too hard on his rips. Be an extra boulder stacked onto his already cracking shoulders. 

Eddie doesn’t hear the door open and close quietly, doesn’t hear Steve’s socks pad over the bathroom rug. 

But he feels his body heat and smells his cologne. Eddie still gasping for breath, too afraid to open his eyes or move his hands from his ears. But he feels body heat, Steve’s here. Eddie feels him. 

His still ragged breaths stutter for a moment when he feels Steves large, warm palm settle between his shoulder blades. He flinches at the contact but Steve doesn’t move, just stays there, touching lightly, in that one place, grounding. Bringing Eddie back to his body slowly. His lungs filling up with a little more air each time he breaths. 

He swallows thickly, coming back to himself slightly, but still scared to open his eyes, deeper breaths bracketed by sobs and hiccups. He hates when people see him cry. 

Eventually he moves his hands so they’re just cupped over his ears, instead of pushed tightly against. He can just make out the soft rumbling of Steve’s voice, too quiet to be heard before but Eddie can understand him now. 

‘That’s it, deep breaths. just like me, okay?’ Steve takes a deep breath. ‘That’s it Ed’s, in for two, out for two.’ He breaths out through his mouth, hand rubbing soothing circles over Eddie’s shoulders. 

Eddie follows, breathing deeper, filling his body with oxygen again. Breathing along with Steve. 

Eventually Eddie moves his hands, sniffing again and scrubbing his cheeks with the sleeve of his sweatshirt. He crosses his arms on his knees and buries his head there. 

He takes another deep breath, finally finding the courage to open his eyes and peek over at Steve. 

He’s backlit by the moonlight shining through the frosted window, the only other light in the room is the orange strip across the bottom of the closed bathroom door. 

Eddie can still hear everyone downstairs, the rumble of the tv, but it doesn’t feel so bad now, doesn’t make his skin crawl so much. He’s not ready to got back out there though. Not yet. 

‘Hi.’ Steve says, smiling at Eddie like it’s another normal day and not one where he just helped Eddie though a full on meltdown in his parents bathroom. 

Eddie snorts. God. He’s so embarrassed.

Swallowing Eddie has to force the words out of his chest, would like to not say anything but Steve is here and Steve is smiling at him and the least Eddie can do is speak a little, as uncomfortable as it is. 

‘Sorry.’ He lands on, voice rough and quiet. 

‘No, none of that Ed’s yeah? Remember, party rules?’ And Steve speaks just as quietly as Eddie did, like he knows, knows how fragile Eddie is right now. Eddie grunts, tears bubbling a slipping out again. 

Party rules are that Steve won’t ask twice if someone needs to come over or call, any time of night. If you need a ride to a members house or just to fall asleep with him on the line, he’s there. Eddie can’t count the number of times he’s seen Steve drop Lucas at Max's trailer late at night, Steve watching until he gets inside. If it isn’t too late he’s started coming to check on Eddie too. Sometimes Eddie’s able to see him, engage with him. Sometimes it’s too much, being a person, even in front of Steve. He leaves Wayne to tell him eddies fine, or as fine as Eddie can be, at the moment. 

‘What can I do?’ Steve asks, bringing Eddie back to the present, to Steve’s bathroom floor. 

Eddie screws his eyes up. He, ugh. ‘I don’t know how to, do, what I want.’ Eddie says, nonessential. But he just. He wants. Wants to feel Steve, imagines that warmth, and grounding, wants more. Too much. 

Steve’s eyebrows furrow slightly, but his face still seems kind, like always. Steve’s always kind. ‘What do you want?’ He asks. 

Eddie looks at the floor, there’s a loose thread on the edge of the rug, he stares at it. ‘A hug.’ He mumbles, cheeks flaming. 

‘Oh.’ Steve breaths. And then, like it’s simple, like it’s nothing. ‘Okay.’ he says and Eddie glances at him. 

Steve shifts so his back is flat against the tub, legs out in front of him and arms open. Waiting. 

‘Take your time, any way you want it.’ Steve says. 

Eddie wipes his face again, shifts onto his knees without really thinking, drawn towards Steve like always. But he falters, hands raised but fingers clenching and unfurling. He twitches his head to the left and few times, almost uncontrollably, he does it again. ‘I, ah, um.’ He doesn’t. He doesn’t know how. 

Because this is different still, from Wayne, from his Nana, from friends. This is Steve. 

But Steve just sits, waiting, looking at Eddie. ‘Take your time. Any way you want Ed’s.’ Steve says again softly, imploring. 

Eddie blinks hard and couple times, tugs at his hair again, focus, focus. He shuffles forward and wraps his arms around Steve’s neck a little awkwardly. His back bending to lean far enough, not sure how hard to squeeze, afraid to be too close, touch too much. 

Eddie’s breathing picks up again, he doesn’t, cant, doesn’t know how. He pulls away, scrubbing at his face again. 

‘Can I?’ Steve starts, moving toward Eddie but stops, waiting for a reply. Eddie nods mutely, cheeks flaming. 

Steve moves closer, Eddie knees up against his thigh. He pulls on Eddies leg, getting him to move it over top of Steve’s. Until he’s essentially sitting in his lap. Eddies eyes are wide, Steve is so close, so warm. 

He keeps going, slowly, bringing Eddie’s chest to his slowly, wrapping Eddie’s arms around his torso and then wrapping his own around Eddie. One big warm palm leading Eddie’s head into the crook of Steve’s neck, where it’s dark, smells strongly of citrus and musk. 

Eddie’s tense, muscles locked tight, but then Steve shifts one more time, getting comfortable and squeezes Eddie once. The pressure, it unlocks something inside him. Steve breaths out, like he’s relaxing too, like this is nice for Steve too. 

‘S’okay Eddie, relax for me.’ Steve prompts quietly, arms squeezing again. Everything soft and quiet and warm. 

Eddie tips over the edge. 

He empties his lungs, slow and stuttering, in and out. Relaxes. Slumping down onto Steve and lets go. ‘Oh.’ It feels so good to be held, to be wrapped up like this. Steve’s arms hold firm around him, pulling them impossibly closer. 

Eddie whimpers, let’s go fully, drifts. 

He thinks he might honestly fall asleep, so exhausted from his meltdown, the emotion and sensory, twist and release. 

He comes too with Steve stroking a hand over his hair and down his back, repeating the long slow motion over and over, like Eddie is some overgrown cat. 

He breaths deep one last time, steals himself for the cold of letting go. Sits back on his heels, extracting himself from Steve’s neck and unfurling his grip of Steve’s waist. 

But Steve stops him getting too far. One hand on the back in eddies neck, one at his hip. It’s almost too much, makes Eddie think about more than friends, about skin on skin. About being held like this, only different. 

‘Sorry, um, thanks.’ He says, afraid to look Steve in the eye, staring at the collar of his polo instead, reaching up to fiddle with one of the little shiny buttons. 

Steve just squeezes Eddie’s neck, letting go to move around slightly now that Eddie’s whole weight isn’t on him anymore. ‘For someone who says they don’t know how to hug, that was pretty nice.’ Steve says once he’s settled, hands back on Eddie hips. 

That makes Eddie glance up, flick his eyes to Steve’s and back down. Just enough time to take in his soft smile and kind gaze, down tuned and sleepy. He looks relaxed, happy. 

Eddie’s heart clenches. But he just huffs, ‘yeah, sure.’ Only he can’t help smiling a little, half believing. Half believing the ridiculousness, That Steve would enjoy this too. 

But Steve reaches up and tucks some hair behind Eddie’s ear, so soft and caring. ‘Hey, I mean it. And if you ever want, ever need this again. I’m here.’ He says, voice still a whisper. 

Eddie feels tears prickle again, how could, how is Steve even real? ‘Careful Stevie.’ He jokes. ‘Say any more and you’ll never get rid of me.’ Eddie doesn’t to want to go, Eddie wants to stay right here forever. But he knows he can’t. Can’t do that. 

‘I mean it Ed’s, any time you want. How-however you want.’ And Steve looks up at him, cheeks pink in the moonlight and eyes wide. Like he’s said too much, like he’s scared too. 

Eddie wants to kiss him. 

Wants to bury his head back in Steve’s neck and never come out. Wants to slip his tongue past the seam of Steve’s lips and grind his hips down just to see what noises he’ll get. Wants to hear him and touch him and taste him all over. Wants to curl up in bed next to him and bring him over to have dinner with Wayne. Wants to share his food and listen to his heartbeat and let Steve in. Let him see more. More of Eddie. 

But not now. Not when there’s salt tracks in his face and phlegm in his throat. When he needs a glass of water and a, like, nine hour nap. ‘Kay.’ He settles on, voice wet but happy, he’s so happy, to have Steve now, even if it’s hard and he’s so tired and so scared. He has Steve. He has Wayne and his friends and he has Steve. ‘Thank you.’ Eddie whispers, feeling held by the dark bathroom. Space and time on pause. He feels brave, feels exposed and covered head to toe in all his past and all his present. Feels here, feels now. 

Eddie leans forward and places the softest of kisses on Steve’s cheek. The first he’s ever given, and how nice, that it’s Steve. How nice, to feel his warmth and hear his little intake of breath. 

Eddie blushes, scrubs at his cheeks again. Slipping off of Steve’s thighs to sit back next to him, shoulder to shoulder, on the little bathroom rug. 

‘Do you want to go back down? Or um, I can take you home?’ Steve asks, sounds unsure but his voice is soft, steady. Eddie bites his thumb, rubs his knuckles against his teeth. 

He doesn’t know what he wants. Wishes they could stay here forever. But there’s a room full of people and this is Steve’s house, he can’t just leave them, can’t just stay here, with Eddie, in his parents bathroom. 

‘I’ll uhm, I’ll just wait here a little longer, until the movie finishes. You go down, be a good host.’ And Eddie smiles, but he doesn’t feel it in his eyes, can’t face the light and noise again just yet, the questions or glances that might come his way. 

‘I’ll go check on them then, take some back and then you can go last. Or, or stay, if you, if you want.’ 

Eddie’s heart clenches again. He wants to, to stay. But he also wants his bed, familiar and inviting. Wants to smell Wayne in the air and have his tape on to fall asleep. Wants normal, after tonight. Needs it. 

But one day. When he feels better. When that spark he had sometimes comes back, the one that believed he could be a rockstar or a writer. That would dream up campaigns and have the energy to write them down. When that part of him comes back, when he’s not so tired. Then he’ll go to Steve, offer himself up, ask for more, ask to stay. 

But tonight he’s too close to breaking, too flayed open and rubbed pink. ‘A lift home later would be nice, just us?’ He asks, it’s so much, fills him up. It’s everything he wants, in this moment. 

Steve nods, bumping their knees together. 

He’s so good, Eddie marvels, for the hundredth time. 

‘Course. I’ll bring you some water.’ And Steve shifts to stand, using Eddie to help him up. It’s so nice, to be this close, a barrier broken, new rules to be made. 

‘You can wait in my room, if you want? It might be more comfortable.’ Steve says, hand on the doorknob. Eddie just nods, blushes, not even sure why. But Steve smiles, pretty and boyish and small.  

He slips out and turns off the light on the landing, the whole floor bathed in darkness. Eddie didn’t even ask, he didn’t even have to. He feels tears well again, laughing a little at it all. At the Steve of it all. 

He stays curled up on the bathroom rug a little longer, in the new quiet memory of Steve and warmth and darkness. Until he’s ready. Knows Steve will be waiting. 

.𖥔˚

Tag List (open) : @scoops-aboy86 @pearynice @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @cheesedoctor @chickensinrainboots

also.. @spectrum-spectre @babydollbaron @flowercrowngods just bc :)

[symbiotic-slime]

eddie freaking out over his neighbour’s music will always be peak overstimulation rep to me

like this is literally how it feels

[fortnightdjo]

I drew steddie bats!!!

[stevesbipanic]

Eddie sometimes went quiet.

Wayne noticed it after Eddie moved in. He didn't do it as much when he was little and Mary would bring him round, but here he was at ten years old completely silent. When Eddie was little Wayne assumed the boy was just shy, but now that he lived with Eddie he knew that sometimes a whole week would pass with not a peep from the young boy. M

The doctor said it might be a trauma response, might just be something he would do from time to time, either way, Eddie Munson, one of the loudest and dramatic kids Wayne had ever met would still be him, just nonverbal. They worked with a notebook but sometimes Eddie would get frustrated he wasn't being answered fast enough and they were running out of paper.

It was Wayne's buddy from work that presented a solution. "Have you tried sign language? My son was born deaf and Susan and I went to night classes so we could talk to the kid." So that's exactly what Wayne did, he moved his shifts to the day and spent his nights at the school learning to talk to his boy. On his days off he'd show Eddie what he'd learnt and slowly they were able to bridge the gap that the silence presented.

The silent days didn't stop as he grew older, his teachers didn't really understand and sometimes he'd end up in detention with a note saying he was being disrespectful. His friends understood though and enthusiastically asked Eddie to teach them sign language, they'd use it even when Eddie was happily chatting with them, they liked that they shared a 'secret' language from the bullies.

He hadn't had any silent days since Vecna, which Eddie thought was a miracle in itself given the circumstances. However, he woke up a couple months after spring break knowing what kind of day it was going to be. He felt frustrated with himself, he was supposed to be hanging out with Steve and Robin today and was worried with how they'd take it, especially Steve. They'd been dancing around each other's feelings lately and he didn't want to ruin everything before it even started. Resigned he grabbed a notebook and pen and headed to Family Video.

He'd spent ten minutes psyching himself up in the parking lot before heading inside, note written and ready explaining that no it wasn't anything Upside Down related, he just wouldn't be speaking today. The door's bell rings in his ear as he stops suddenly staring at the scene before him. Steve and Robin were, quite rapidly, signing at each other. Steve turns at the bell, smiling at Eddie.

"Eddie!"

Still in a bit of shock, Eddie signs on instinct, "You know sign?"

Steve has the same look of shock now, before his face breaks into an even bigger smile and signs back, "You know sign! You know sign, how, why?"

His hands are faster than his brain as he explains how he goes quiet sometimes, and Wayne and night classes and Hellfire before asking Steve how he and Robin know sign.

Steve looks bashful as he signs back, "Um, after Starcourt my hearing started to go, so Robin, ever the linguist, insisted we learn, which was actually very smart of her. I can still kinda hear but I get by mainly on lip reading."

Things started to make sense now to Eddie, how sometimes Steve seemed to just nod and smile at whatever the kids were saying, or would need things repeated to him. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Why didn't you tell me about going nonverbal? Robbie has days like that too."

"Didn't want you to think I was weird."

"I like that you're weird, I like you, Eds."

Eddie blushes at what he interprets is his sign name from Steve, the letter E and the sign for love combined.

"I like you too, Stevie." Eddie signs, the letter S mixed with the sign for heart.

Eddie may still have his silent days, but now he shares them with Steve, and they can sign the things he's not allowed to say out loud, making sure they both know they're loved.

[jasontoddsmommyissues]

Eddie Munson as Text Posts 36/?

[thefatedthoughtofyou]

Steve's not obsessed with Eddie's hands.

He's not.

They're just... he happened to notice them, once, when Eddie was listening to Dustin talk through how he might want to make his first DM campaign play out.

Steve wasn't even really paying attention at first, just reading some comic he'd found lying in Eddie's room. But then, out of the corner of his eye, he'd seen it. Movement.

Eddie and Dustin were sitting at the small kitchen table, Dustin talking about puzzles and traps and monsters and Eddie was smiling, nodding encouragingly, looking more and more exicted. But it wasn't the movement of his head that drew Steve's attention.

It was his hands.

They were resting on the sides of his legs, tapping.

Steve could only see one hand really, but he could see Eddie's other arm jumping the same way, his hands moving faster and faster the more excited he got, until they were just hovering near his legs, flapping in the air beside him as he smiled widely at Dustin. He suggested a few things, to Dustin, Steve's pretty sure that's what he was saying anyway, his ears weren't great anymore if he wasn't focused, and right now, all of his focus was on Eddie's hands.

Dustin slapped his hand on the table, pointed at Eddie and then started scribbling as Eddie laughed, Steve always managed to hear Eddie's laugh, his hands flapping harder, slapping at his thighs.

Steve vaguely hears his name, cocks his head to the side, but doesn't respond, his eyes still locked on Eddie's flapping hands, and then they stop moving. Both of them freezing, the one Steve can see clamps down on Eddie's thigh, fingers pressing into his jeans.

Steve blinks. Tears his eyes away. Looks at Eddie.

He's staring at Steve, his cheeks tinted pink. Steve swallows, gives him a little smile before Dustin has his attention, chatting at him about what he and Eddie had just come up with.

Steve hears about half of it. Nodding when he thinks he should, trying his best to sound interested. It's enough for Dustin. The barely there commitment. And usually Steve is better at engaging with him, even though he has no clue what he's talking about.

But he's distracted. His eyes keep wandering to Eddie's hands. But they don't move again the whole time he's there, Eddie's knuckles turn white as Steve's eyes linger on his hand. His fingers still pressing into his thigh, they drum a quick beat here and there, but his hands don't move.

Steve sighs, drags his eyes away, and tries to keep them off Eddie. Somehow feeling like Eddie is embarrassed, or upset, that Steve had seen... whatever it was he'd seen.

~°~

It keeps happening.

Eddie's flapping hands.

Steve's eyes on them.

But he's careful now. He doesn't stare. Just steals glances when the movements draw his eye. And Eddie always has his hands under tables, or tucked close to his sides, when it happens. Like he's trying to hide it.

Steve doesn't understand why. He likes it. Every time he sees Eddie's hands moving excitedly it makes his chest flutter. Like he's so happy that Eddie's happy it just fills him with warmth.

But it happens other times too.

Not only when he's happy.

It happens when he's nervous.

Happens when he's scared.

The movements are more erratic when he's nervous or scared. His hands flap, shake, clench, and unclench at his sides.

Every time, Steve wants to reach out and touch. To take his hands, hold them in his and tell him he's okay. That whatever it is. Steve will help.

But he hides it. Behind distracting smiles, and under tables, and behind his back, sometimes. But Steve sees him, watches him, and he wants.

Wants to ask. Wants to touch. Wants to be touched.

Wants to feel Eddie's shaking, flapping, hands against him. Wants to be the reason they flap happily at his sides sometimes. Wants to feel them flap happily against his sides. Wonders if Eddie would do that against his back if he kissed him.

Or if he'd do it lying underneath Steve, clutching at his shirt before his hands just taptaptaptapped against his back as Steve pressed him into his matress.

Or maybe he'd hold Eddie's hands, up above his head. Feel his fingers tapping against his hands as Steve kissed him, nice and slow. Eddie would just tap faster, if he was happy, if he wanted that, with Steve.

Steve sighed, deeply, and glanced at Eddie's hands, his left one resting in his lap, thumb twisting at his ring. His right one, hanging down by his leg, shaking happily as he listened to Will and Dustin make plans for their new campaign, and wished he could reach out and touch him. Even just settle his hand against Eddie's, just to feel the joy shake out of his body.

~°~

The first time Steve reaches out and takes Eddie's shaking hand, is at the summer carnival.

It's hot. And crowded. And loud. And they're waiting in line for some ride the kids want to drag them on. People laughing and screaming and crowding around, jostling them and bumping their shoulders.

And Eddie had gone quiet about five minutes ago. Steve keeps glancing down, watching his hands. It takes three more minutes. But they start to shake, flapping at his sides before he grabs at his jeans, wipes his palms, lets them shake again.

Steve leans forward, tells Dustin they'll be over by the benches, and he grabs Eddie's hand, gently slides his hand into Eddie's. Eddie looks at him, blinking rapidly.

"You wanna come with me? Get outta here?" Steve asks, jerks his head to the side. Eddie nods immediately, his fingers clamping down on Steve's hand, hard. But Steve doesn't care, because Eddie's hand shakes, just once or twice, and then it stops. And his hand is warm, and strong, inside Steve's as he leads them to the benches and sits Eddie down.

He gives him a drink of his lemon shake up, snorts when Eddie makes a face at the sour taste, and then sits next to him.

Eddie takes a few deep breaths, his eyes closed. He takes his hand out of Steve's, leaving him aching for his touch. Steve just lets him go, rests his hand in his lap instead.

"Thanks." Eddie sighs, after a long moment, his eyes finally opening, they don't land on Steve. Stay locked on his lap.

"Anytime." He says, and he means it. Deep in his chest he means it, he'd do anything for Eddie. Always. Eddie smiles, finally looking at him.

"Can't believe you tried to kill me with that though." Eddie huffs, kicks Steve's shoe with his own and nods at the cup sitting between them.

Steve laughs, watches Eddie smile, his fingers twitching in his lap, his wrist twitches once, Steve's pretty sure it counts.

~°~

The second time he touches Eddie's hands, Eddie's just made them grilled cheese, his signature dish. And he's stitting in front of Steve, his chin resting in one hand, his other hand hidden under the table. He's watching as Steve chews his first bite.

"Weeeell?" He asks, impatient, as always. Steve makes a show of chewing slower, his eyes lifting to the ceiling as he hums, thinking. Eddie kicks at his shin under the table, his socked foot not hurting at all. Steve snorts, kicks back, and says,

"It's good. Really good. Best grilled cheese I ever had." He's serious, knows he sounds like he's teasing.

"Yeah? You like it? I didn't burn it? I mean I know you said you like them crispy but I thought maybe I got it too dark. Might have burnt it." Eddie rambles, and Steve just smiles, shakes his head.

"It's perfect, actually. You're a grilled cheese wizard. Or a... grilled cheese... bard. No I don't think that's a thing. Wizard applies more here, pretty sure." Steve says, waving off his own words like they're nonsense, looking toward the ceiling again to avoid Eddie's, no doubt, exasperated look.

But that's when he sees it.

His eyes are on their way to the ceiling when he sees Eddie's hand, flapping next to his thigh. Steve looks back to him, sees him beaming, and can't help himself when he reaches out and grabs Eddie's shaking hand.

But it's a mistake. He didn't know it would be. Didn't think. Had forgotten about that first day when Eddie had caught him staring and froze.

The smile drops off Eddie's face and he tugs his hand quickly away from Steve, hiding it in his lap, scooting back in his chair, away from Steve, his eyes on the table.

"Sorry. I can't- sorry." He stammers, shaking his head, his cheeks are red, his eyes darting around the table top as he curls in on himself, arms wrapped around his stomach protectively.

"What are you sorry for? You don't have to be sorry." Steve says, his voice soft, just a breath between them really. Eddie frowns, shakes his head again.

"No. It's annoying. I know it is. It just happens. I can't help it." Eddie's voice is firm, his words sound rehearsed, like he's said them a thousand times. It makes Steve's chest ache, with pain for Eddie, and with anger for whoever told him that any part of himself was annoying. Especially this part, a part of him that Steve is sure is pure joy, made visible, made tangible and expressive.

"It's not annoying." Steve says, and he sounds... mad? A little. But not at Eddie. Eddie's eyes snap up, lock on Steve's face, he doesn't blink.

"It's not." Steve reaffirms, one shake of his head. He moves his hand, slides it across the table top slowly, towards Eddie, and then turns it, palm up, waiting.

Eddie's eyes twitch from his face to his hand and back again. Steve smiles, small, and wiggles his fingers, gives Eddie a nod.

"C'mon. It's okay." He nods his head again, eyes dropping to his hand and then back to Eddie's face. Eddie swallows, sits a little straighter, unwraps his arms from his stomach. Steve sees his arms flex, knows Eddie is squeezing his thigh under the table, nervous. But then he moves, slowly brings his hand up, and places it in Steve's.

He sighs, the contact he's been waiting for finally made, Eddie's breathing is shakey as he watches Steve curl his fingers around his hand, pull it closer across the table.

"It's not annoying Eddie it's-" Steve pauses. Eddie frowns, a grimace really.

"Hey. No. I mean it. I like it." Steve says, and Eddie looks at him, his eyes moving back to their tangled hands over and over.

"You do?" He asks, and he sounds so fucking small. So unsure. So Steve does the only thing he can think of, he stands, drags Eddie to his feet as well, and then presses a kiss to Eddie's knuckles.

"I do. I really do. That's why I was staring." Steve says, breathes it against Eddie's hand, smiles when Eddie's fingers twitch against him.

"I'm sorry it made you uncomfortable. But it wasn't because I was annoyed. I promise you that. You believe me?" Steve ducks his head a little, tries to get Eddie to look at him, he's got his free hand up by his mouth, his nail worrying between his teeth. And Steve has to smile, can see Eddie thinking, trying to make sure he does, believe Steve. One moment more and Eddie nods, presses his lips together, and looks at Steve.

"I believe you." He says, teeth worrying into his lip.

"Good. So you- I mean you don't have to hide it. Around me. If you don't want. Cuz I meant what I said. I like it. A lot." Steve feels heat rush into his cheeks and closes his eyes, breathes against Eddie's knuckles for a moment before he looks back up to see Eddie smiling at him. Looking a little in awe. A little breathless.

"You like it that much?" His nose scrunches and Steve just want to fucking kiss him. He nods instead.

"Yeah. I really do. It's like you've got... I don't know... happy little bat wings. Just flapping around you when you're having a good time. I love it. I love-" Steve stops, the words caught in his throat, because that's too much. Maybe. For right now. But he feels it. Has felt it for Eddie for awhile now, the warmth of it humming beneath his skin when Eddie's near him.

Eddie's beaming at him now, tears shining in his eyes, he hides behind his hair, for just a second, before he darts forward, presses his lips to Steve's, a quick press, and then he's gone again, and the space between them is small but still too much.

"Sorry. I've never done that before." Eddie breathes. Steve watches something that could be fear, or regret, pass over Eddie's features like a shadow, and refuses to let it stay there, not even a second longer.

He drops Eddie's hand and cradles Eddie's neck, draws him closer, til their sharing breath.

"Stop apologizing. I want this. You." Steve whispers, pressing his forehead to Eddie's.

"I want you t-"

And Steve kissing him. Slow. Sweet. His hands holding Eddie close. Steve moves his tongue along Eddie's bottom lip, smiles into Eddie's mouth when he gasps, and then deepens the kiss, just so, tilting Eddie's head a little for a better angle. Eddie moans into his mouth, his hands scrambling to grab at Steve's back, clenching in his shirt and unclenching as Steve tilts his world on it's axis.

And then Steve feels it, Eddie's hands, tapping against his back, like he'd thought about since that first day, like he'd dreamed about, on several occasions. Too many to count.

Steve hums into Eddie's mouth, smiles against his lips, their teeth clicking together as Eddie smiles too, laughs into Steve's mouth, his breath filling Steve's lungs as they cling to each other.

See, Steve's not obsessed with Eddie's hands.

He just knew they'd feel perfect tapping out happy rhythms against his skin.

And for once, in his traumatic, full of bullshit life, Steve was right.

He's not obsessed with Eddie's hands.

But he does love them.

The way they move, and shake, and show all of Eddie's joys, wild, and uncontrolled.

And his to hold.

[marymarvels-blog]

Chim: omg Buck you started dating someone?

Buch: ehh no?

Chim, holding his phone: then who is “my princess”?

Buck: ..no one..

Chim: okaay.. *proceeds to call*

Buck: WAIT NO

Eddie, on the other side of line: hey babe, how are you doing?

Chim:..

Buck: ..

Hen: ..

Chim: okay, I learned my lesson

[karmathehalflander]

Eddie got Venom some headphones so they can listen to music while he works. Redraw of this piece from a couple months ago.

[steventhusiast]

Steve and Eddie both being autistic and not finding out until one of their kids gets diagnosed autistic in the late 2000s.

Turns out when you grow up not knowing you're processing things differently to everyone else, the alarm bells don't go off when your kids do the same. Not for them anyway. Not until a teacher called them to set up a meeting and gently suggested they get their kid assessed.

And while they're at the appointment, after making a few too many comments like "but that's normal right, I did that?" about different things, they end up leaving with a phone number for another doctor. Everything slots into place, they just don’t really know how to start unlearning their masks.

But they try. If not for themselves, for their kid, who they don’t want to grow up learning to detach themself and hide away from the world.

So they figure out how to help each other. They remind each other that stimming is okay and normal, try to set a good example for their kid of letting themselves self-regulate that way. They put time into figuring out everyone in their family's individual sensory sensitivities, and adjust their environments accordingly. They consciously try to be more direct with each other and their kids to avoid pointless misunderstandings. They try to work through the shame they feel when being their true selves around other people.

And they’re not always successful. But they do understand themselves a little better every day.

Plus, seeing their kid be able to grow up unmasked? To be authentically themself, without shame? It's healing. They never got to have that (may never truly have that), but they're gonna make damn sure their kid does.

[hotluncheddie]

Sometimes Steve says ‘I had a shower, are you proud of me?’

And Eddie will kiss him on the head, a loud, smacking, ‘mwah!’ Of a thing. And will wrap his arms around Steve’s neck, and squeeze.

And he’ll say ‘I am. I’m so so so so so proud of you baby (Stevie, sweetheart, love.)’

And Steve knows it’s silly, knows he can shower, should be able to shower, just fine. But sometimes, it’s hard. It’s really really really hard. But sometimes he still does it.

And he’s a little proud, maybe, on those bad days, when it’s something he wants to do but it's harder than it should be.

It’s always easier, definitely, hearing it come from Eddie.

[urhoneycombwitch]

reader hanging out at Eddie's house with him and it's all fine and dandy but their clothes are just driving them nuts. Like either their jeans are digging uncomfortably into their waist or their bra is just killing them and it's just nagging at the back of their mind until they snap like, "Eddie, I can't do this anymore."

which is a terrible choice of words to suddenly blurt out because now he's panicking like did he do something wrong? You just want to break up all of the sudden?!

and reader's like "No! please can I take my pants/bra off." because they don't want it to be weird that they're just getting undressed at his place (I figure this is probably early days tbh because after a while, r just walks into his room already taking off whatever's uncomfortable)

and Eddie's brain is spinning from the whiplash of thinking he was getting dumped to Oh! Boobs/Legs!

this feels very autistic!Reader coded👆😍

like totally breezing past the fact that you just accidentally delivered the worst news of your boyfriend’s liiiiife because you can’t THINK with how tight the band of your bra is

and while Eddie sputters and chokes on his words like “w-what?! what did I do? 😨” you’re reaching into your shirt to get the clasps of your bra off, sighing with relief as soon as it loosens

“sorry, not you- I couldn’t deal with this.” your bra comes out of your t-shirt sleeve with one smooth pull, like a neat party trick, and you dangle it by its strap on a pointed finger. “sorry, handsome. didn’t mean to scare you.”

Eddie’s adrenaline is spiked again but this time blood travels south, ‘cuz he’s taking the bra from you and laying it neatly over the back of the couch with a gulp. “uh- yeah. yep. sure. all good 😳”

just full staring at your breasts which are now way easier to see through just your flimsy shirt material.

and you’re like “well 🙂 at least you’re being subtle about it like a gentleman.”