#Angst I guess

[futurepastme]

SecretConsort!merlin

I had this fic idea before falling asleep, I don't know if anything like this already exists (probably). Be warned that I didn't revise this once.

First of all Arthur and Merlin absolutely love each other, but they start off as friends with benefits. Until one day Arthur can't handle anymore

“Say you're mine. Say you'll be mine and no one else's”

“I'll be yours as long as you're also mine”

And yeah, they go exclusive after that (they already were but now was official) and give them a few months or years, but eventually Merlin becomes Arthur's secret consort and they are officially official, mother's sigil and all, because like I said, they Love each other.

Anyways, eventually Uther finds out they are together and he gets tomato-red furious, and only calms down when Arthur agrees to marry for political reasons, whomever Uther chooses for him.

The thing is, Uther kind of learns to like them as a couple, not that they go all out and about telling the world, because is still supposed to be a secret, but Uther sees the sweet glances and the smiles, and most of all he sees how willingly they are to die for each other and it just sits right with him. Uther thinks Merlin makes a good consort for his son and is in no hurry to marry him off anymore.

But of course, nothing really stays the same, and the day comes where the only way Uther finds to keep peace with another kingdom is to marry Arrhur off to some other king's daughter, and he hates it because he knows and he approves of his relationship with the skinny boy that makes his son so happy.

And then comes the heartbreaking scene of Arthur telling Merlin the news and the even more heartbreaking scene before Arthur's wedding day

“I won't be able to be only yours anymore”

“Maybe not, but I'll always be yours”

And they cry through the night holding each other tightly as if the world were to end, because it just might.

And the next day, Uther can freaking see it 

They are both behaving, no one is causing a scene but from up close you can notice how bloodshot their eyes are. And he can see it in the way they refuse to make eye contact, he can see it as he sees Merlin silently crying as Arthur shows the crowd their future queen.

And Uther hates it.

And is not like the new princess is a horrible person but she just doesn't like Merlin, she doesn't want to share her husband. She makes Merlin leave Arthur's Chambers and forbids him to follow Arthur all day unnecessarily, but she knows she can't win.

Not when the King himself gives Merlin royal chambers on the same floor as theirs, and especially not when Arthur doesn't spend the night on his.

Arthur has duties, though. Husband duties. And he has to fulfill them and it kills Merlin.

And Uther can just watch helplessly as Merlin's gaze follows Arthur and his wife and he stays behind as the servant he is supposed to be and is so unfair because she doesn't even love Arthur 

And they keep growing apart but keep fighting for each other because they are fucking made to be together so they still try even if the best they can do for days is hold each other for a few minutes just breathing each other in because that's home and that's where they are meant to be

It continues for a while until one day comes where Arthur goes out without Merlin

And at the same time while he is away, his wife finds herself with child, and everyone's so happy and Merlin just has to leave for a while because he can't handle it

But again, things never go as planned and the knights return with Arthur's body, because something went wrong 

And you can honestly choose what it was, a curse, a spell, bandits, a boar, a mercenary, it doesn't matter because Arthur is dead now and Merlin wasn't there to save him

And now Uther has to deal not only with the death of his only son, and with his widow wife with child but he'll be the one to tell his consort and is so devastating 

Merlin's face turns from sad to haunting and it's like the world ended and Uther can see himself in him, he can see the death of his love weighting on Merlin the way it weighed on him, if not worse

Arthur's body stays inside the castle for two days before the burial so the people of the castle can say their goodbyes and no one has seen Merlin, they are not even sure he went to see Arthur 

And everyone is concerned about the poor widow all dressed in black, she is sad, sure, but the tears rolling from her eyes are just for show, Arthur was barely a friend, but he was good to her

Arthur's body is being prepared for removal, overseen by his family and close friends before the public ceremony took place, and that's when it happens 

Merlin just barges in and stops everything. 

He's spent two days working in it, and he just doesn't care anymore, as long as it works

And Uther once again just watches as this skinny boy fills the room with golden light, and he can't even care to do anything because honestly he would do everything for his love if he could 

And everyone watches as the light coming from Merlin starts being absorbed by Arthur through his chest and is so beautiful to watch

Arthur starts to sit up as Merlin lowers down and they just have a moment, a small second where they are both there and Merlin just rests his head against Arthur's 

“I would do it again. I would do it as many times as needed because I love you and you are my everything”

��Merlin?”

And then the light is gone, and so is Merlin 

And Uther watched as his widowed son holds his lover's body, just like he did over twenty years ago

[notlushi]

For I am a Demon

For I am a demon and life is cruel.

Those who shine will show justice and be known selfless.

For I am a demon and I live long,

those who want to wear capes will not.

I had a sad thought-. I think Mk and Mei would have the lifespan of a human being that their lives are shorter. And with how reckless they are they might not live for very long because they are heroes. But idk 🤷 I felt very angst.

Have some dragonfruit as an apology.

Oh and Mei (I don’t know how to make GIFs okay) don’t mind the watermark-

[popr0cks]

They make me so sad oml

I started making this on mother's day, but didn't finish it til literally rn I saw it in my head so yall have to see it now enjoy it

[severus-snaps]

harry's third year headcanons - snape's pov

snape wakes up most nights with recurring nightmares about the shack, about being chased, about being caught. when he's on the brink of sleep he hears howls, and startles awake. not certain whether he's dreamt them or whether they were real, and unable to sleep anyway, he paces the corridors with his wand drawn

deepest winter, where the days are short and the nights are long, he has recurring dreams where he wakes up and goes about his day - he attends meals, he teaches, spends time in the staffroom. each night it's a new nightmare - despite the hour the werewolf is loose in the halls between classes. loose in the dining hall at breakfast. it transforms and traps him in the staffroom. it bursts through the door into his lessons. it's killed the students. blood pools on the flagstones.

he should brew dreamless sleep, but he doesn't have time. there are classes to teach, and papers to mark, classes to cover, and he makes two batches of wolfsbane at a time. despite how complex and long-winded it is to make, he checks them obsessively. they have to be perfect. he has to have a spare. he wears himself down with how often he tends them, and sleep-deprived and sick and distracted with worry already, he can't stop thinking that he's missed a step. that he's added something twice. that it won't work, and it'll be all his fault.

a girl screams in the corridor between classes. he sprints to the sound - it turns out it was nothing. she and her friends had tried a hair-growing charm, and it hadn't worked as planned. it's nothing serious. he sends her to the hospital wing but not before he docks a intentionally unfair fifty points for practicing magic in the halls, because he's sick and dizzy and his hands are sweaty and his heart is racing, and he'll stay that way for the rest of the day. worse, the students laughed behind their hands at him, at his overreaction. the students are always laughing at him now, ever since lupin's boggart lesson. he's a laughing stock.

lupin is always slow to take his potion. there's a known murderer trying to enter the castle. the murderer enters the castle, twice. he makes it as far as gryffindor tower. lupin knows something. lupin is having private meetings with potter. something is wrong, but nobody is listening. everyone, from dumbledore to lupin to the students, refuses to take him seriously. why won't anyone take him seriously.

[coralchoral]

honestly thinking about the sonadow twitter takeover and how the plummeting to earth thing very much affected Sonic a lot more than it affected Shadow. like in a previous takeover Shadow even made it a positive memory about Sonic trying to save him.

Meanwhile in Prime, Sonic has a moment of saving Shadow from falling into the void that's very reminiscent of that other fall (in the same way Prime has a lot of motivations and references that only make sense from a fandom insider perspective).

Sonic also gets repeatedly tilted, loud and anxious, (which I'm pinning more on RCS's/whatever writer's sense of humor, as is all the voice acting gags) and is coping badly any time Shadow comes out ahead. I think Sonic's insistence on his ability to grow chest fur is as big a Cope as floaties=fashion statement.

But really, Sonic's repeat date suggestions and Shadow's own descriptions of Sonic's behavior (dragging out their races, etc "just to annoy me") reads, whether romantically or platonically, that Sonic just really wants to spend time with Shadow.

He feels he needs to justify it, though, insisting that he and Shadow have something other than occasionally getting in each other's way ("two sides of the same coin") (friendly competition being "why you keep me around-" seemed like odd wording to me).

Needing to make it meaningful, because that's what Shadow wants out of a relationship- Shadow /says/ he dislikes Sonic for being frivolous and inauthentic, that (for instance) his hugs don't mean anything, and that he doesn't want "(Sonic's) kind of hug."

Sonic really wants to spend time with Shadow because he's also intimately aware that that time is limited. Either Shadow's patience (and/or social battery) is limited and he's liable to make a batman exit if he doesn't want to be somewhere (not that we've ever seen Shadow do this in canon, he seems to awkwardly/quietly hang around as if he doesn't realize he can just hit the bricks (or he likes being there and has no idea how to express it re: smiling at Big the Cat) ), Or Sonic and Shadow will get caught up in their own lives again and not see each other until Fate Deigns to Allow Them to Cross Paths Once More.

And Sonic misses him.

(This ties in with my Sonic Frontiers is the Saddest Game Ever posting from a while back, too. Sonic is lonely AF and Needs Other People to Talk To or he'll start talking to the walls and robots, and Shadow will almost always either talk back or groan in exasperation, which is as good a reaction as any.)

All this, plus Sonic's opinion flip-flops (shopping with Amy vs shopping with Shadow, opinion on Orbot) could be either (Sonadow Optimist) Sonic is Down Bad and not even conscious of his mirroring Shadow/trying to appeal to Shadow, or (Sonadow/overall Pessimist) Sonic trying to appeal to the Most Popular Character Right Now and getting increasingly desperate as he is rebuffed.

A few of these Twitter Takeovers have had moments of Sonic in particular getting thrown off and not really able to recover. (which makes me question what the writing is like, if there's any at all and these VA's aren't just riffing on an outline. Considering they don't talk over each other constantly, there must be something like a script, but it also does occasionally feel like a bad roleplay (and I've been a bad roleplayer).) It leads to a Something Is Wrong feeling in the "We're doing this for fun" question-answering joke show. Sonic needs therapy. (We all need therapy.)

Meanwhile, Shadow really is pulling out all the grunts, groans, and whines with Sonic that, if scripted, would be egregious as hell to read or write. He doesn't make these noises in the games (or shows, really?) mostly because there's a sort of efficiency necessary to production that cuts out that interpersonal realism and partly because it's annoying? Shadow, you're the annoying one?

Unrelated, everybody latched on to Sonic's "Go off, King" but nobody even noticed Shadow's "Deal With It."(sunglasses drop) How soon we forget the sacred texts and/or the deep magic, I guess? (It's an old meme, but it checks out!)

[ghost-bxrd]

i think that jason is a cat. but in a feral way. hes like the angry feral cat that likes to hang out in your backyeard and you take care of it and feed it but it wont let you get close. and then one day it lets you pet it and it trusts you

Absolutely! And you know what else cats are known for? They hide injuries. They hide when they’re not ok. That’s why it‘s such a red flag when they stop behaving the way they normally do. So yes, absolutely agree 🥺

[victorie552]

I headcannon that after 3rd Kinslaying, and especially after Elrond and Elros left them in whatever fashion, Maedhros was a total dick to Maglor.

You know how sometimes old or sick people are nice to neighbours/nurses/strangers, but are horrible to their primal caretakers? That's them.

People aren't dicks to their caretakers just to be dicks - it's because they are often frustrated with themselves or their situation and don't know how else to deal with it or they can't deal with it the usual way. It also happens because, paradoxally, they feel safe around their caretakers - you can be a dick because you know they won't leave just because of that.

And boy, did Maglor cast himself in a role of caretaker (let's not kid ourselves, he wasn't qualified, and with his own problems to boot), and BOY, did Maedhros resent him for it. He did not NEED help, he did not DESERVE help, he's not another kidnapped child MAGLOR, I'M the older brother, I should take care of YOU YOU WRECK, WHY DO I ALWAYS HAVE TO BABYSIT YOU GROW UP ALREADY and leave me Nothing is EVER your fault, even when you left me to Angband as you should Why would you care now, it amounted to NOTHING before, it's WORTHLESS

And about half the time Maglor just takes it, actually likes it even. Mostly because of his guilt complex about how he deserves it, but also because Maedhros is only like this with him - he's trying his best to pretend to be fine and be a leader to few followers they have left, because they deserve better and that's the only thing he can give them now, and their brothers are all dead and would always be Too Little to act like that around them anyway. Maedhros would behave himself even around Fingon, to make him think rescuing him was worth something. So by being a dick to Maglor, Meadhros sees him as an equal, a safe haven. Maglor basks in that.

But obviously no one could just take such abuse like it's nothing, and Maglor is a Feanorian too, is prideful and stubborn, with his own laundry list of complains about Maedhros, and also unwell, and also thought of a new insult while lying awake at night and just wants to yell too. So half the time Maglor yells back and their yelling matches would bring orcs to tears, with hate and blame dripping from every word. I don't have enough imagination to picture it realistically, and actually I don't want to, it's too heartbreaking.

And sometimes, one or the other just starts crying. They don't talk about these times.

After some time, their arguments and insults are just a noise, something to repeat endlessly to the point of boredom.

By then, what actually hurts are the words that were not meant to harm.

Example 1:

Maedhros: 'did an all-night inspection of their stores cause he couldn't sleep' I found a herb you always liked to wash your hair with.

Maglor: 'doesn't remember last time he washed his hair, no less scented them'

Maglor: 'choked up' Appreciated.

Example 2:

Maedhros: 'feels like he's dragging Maglor to damnation with him' You could go with the twins, you know.

Maglor: 'doesn't want to upset Maedhros today so decides to pretend as if that was actually an option' Vanyar would probably like my singing but you know they would get mad at you for having better battle plans than them.

Maedhros: 'now KNOWS he's dragging Maglor to damnation with him'

Maedhros: 'dying inside' Of course they would.

When love hurts, it's easier to be a dick.

[aayakashii]

I have always watched him from afar – at least, that is how I feel.

We have infinite oceans between us, and I would have to swim across them, only to feel his skin under my fingertips. I would need to cross deep, dark waters in order to feel slightly worthy of him.

I avoid touching him at all costs; despite the agonizing itch in my hands; despite the desire to memorize the feeling of him, of his skin, of his lips; despite the need to hold him so he doesn't fall apart like a dream before my eyes; despite, despite, despite.

His voice gravely says my name with a smile, but I feel like I am underwater – I can't breathe, I can't hear you, nor can I say your name.

Yet choking, I whisper a good evening.

And then, with his honey whiskey voice, he tells me of his life, of his endless blinding future and of responsibilities I do not – I cannot understand. Because I am, truthfully, but a speck of dust, while he holds galaxies within him.

Royalty oozes from his pores, blinding me like a thousand green fireflies, and I question myself – how and where did I get the courage to love someone so desperately, in a place where even my blood is alien?

How and where did I get the courage to love someone who trudges the thin line between death and eternity with the ease of a creature who has time and life to spare, while I crumble into dust within seconds?

He smiles and bids me good night, blissfully unaware of the hours I would spend awake, forcing myself into a dream in which I could feel worthy of him.

I drown in self-pity when he's around, yet I drown in loneliness when he is gone.

When, I wonder, will he teach me how to breathe?

[annintheclouds]

Just some art I made (some are old, some are not.😅)

[initial-lime]

[justjams7787]

the amount of angst I see of these two

[dcmainlybillythoughts]

You ever go through an experience and decide that your favorite character must also go through it and feel the same gut wrenching emotions you did?

Anyways in this I will now explain why Billy Batson is freaked out by the fact that people look up to him and feels imposter syndrome about it but now instead of doing anything he bottles it up and then when he sees somebody else have the same problem he talks them through it and gives them comfort and guidance without doing anything to better himself-

[muffledexplosion162]

YES FINALLY I HAD ENOUGH MOTIVATION TO MAKE A SLIGHTLY ANGSTY ANIMATION

Augh FlipaClip watermark

[lets-try-to-be-normal-otakus]

"It would not just be a quick fuck - it would mean everything to me. If you stay... if you tell me that you love me -- Eddie, I am not that strong to resist you. You would ruin me, Eddie, in ways I cannot express.

"If you stay, you better mean it, or I will haunt you til the end of your days. I am not a game. I'm not a toy. If you stay, it will mean something, and you have to take responsibility. You had my heart, Eddie Munson, and I cannot bear having it broken again."

[nanowatzophina]

Hey, past na’no— uhm…

Idk what u were goin through when u did this but I was not okay finding it in my dragon age folder today— lol.

WHY ZEV LOOK LIKE HE’S SAYING GOODBYE???

[williambeckettfan36]

this flopped so hard on tiktok im embarrassed so im posting it here