#And this specific scene will be MANY chapters in
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”I still love you.”
“I know.”
“But you still don’t love me.”
“No, I don’t. Not like that.”
“…”
“I’m sorry.”
“I know.”
#Wip snippet#The Blooming of a Rose#The first chapter won’t be done for a while#And this specific scene will be MANY chapters in#But I couldn’t resist
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HoO is so funny to me when you actually think about the ages of all the characters. Octavian is 18. Percy and Annabeth are 16, almost 17. Reyna is presumably 16. Frank just turned 16, Jason’s about to turn 16. Leo and Piper are like 15. Hazel’s like 14 and a half, and Nico is 13.
The Death Sibs are both the youngest and oldest on the Argo II. Octavian is a college freshman getting into petty drama with a bunch of high schoolers. He gets told to shut up at one point by a random 8th grader. Everyone is scared of the 8th grader. We Sent A 13 Year Old To Superhell and he came back weirder, Just Like Middle School. TLH was just three high school sophomores being sent to do a task and it going Exactly Like You’d Expect. Percy’s the only demigod on the ship who can legally drive (though Reyna gets her drivers license at some point before TOA). What Is Happening.
#pjo#hoo#heroes of olympus#riordanverse#my second favorite thing related to this is like every time Hazel references someone's age especially in SoN it's just. blatantly incorrect.#she goes into very specific detail about how she's 14. detailing like exactly how many months it had been since her birthday#and when she died and when she was brought back. just like ''okay. im 14 and a half. got that? good.''#''anyways here's Frank. he's 3 years older than me'' like literal next chapter. we are told Frank is not 3 years older than her.#Hazel: Here's my older brother! [Nico is younger than her in literally every way feasible]#ive just decided Hazel is an unreliable narrator who is just really bad at guessing/remembering how old people are#which like. adhd mood. forgetting how old everybody is.#and she has the bonus excuse of saying her sense of time is skewed from being a ghost for so long#but it's just so funny every time she's just. with the upmost confidence. blatantly the wrong answer.#i want a scene of Hazel looking at Percy and just going ''hm. I bet he's like 20.'' and then learns he's 16#and she's just [surprised pikachu]#also we know it isn't an error that she's 14 cause in TOA she's like ''oh yeah im learning to drive!''#so she's 15 by then#it is however an error that *Nico* is said to be 14 in hoo cause he's 12 in TLO and 14 in TOA#but we know in HoO the reason that error was made was cause Rick hadn't figured out Nico's birthday yet#and he was flipping it between January or March#so he just forgot how old Nico is for a series and then we went back to normal
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i feel like my dany posting is probably getting annoying i’m sorry lmao but i think the main difference between the show and book is that while book dany clearly deals with the same issues of superiority that like, fucjing everyone from westeros deals with, i think she really does want what’s best for people in the end whereas emilia played her so fuckin flatly and they were so bad at trying to adapt the themes of her story that for most of the series it just felt like she had a much more tywin-esque “i’m doing this bc Targaryens Have To Be On Top.”
like, book dany DOES ultimately believe in what she’s espousing ya kno, that all people should get to live safe, happy, healthy lives, that all people are deserving of dignity, that all humans are people with personhood! whereas for show dany, it all rang so fucking hollow. i just never know what scene to point to bc a lot of it is on emilia’s acting and apparently all of twitter & instagram has decided she’s emmy worthy so people will point to her scenes in the series and i’m like WHERE IS GEORGE’S AMAZING WRITING. WHERE IS THE DAUGHTER OF DEATH. WHY DOES SHE NEVER SAY DRAGONS PLANT NO TREES. WHERE IS THE GOOD ACTING WHERE IS IT.
#like at least kit has season 6. emilia has the bells scene and that’s Literally it. every other scene is unimpressive.#well actually okay her final speech to her men was good.#but it’s like. many i pretty much enjoy every dany chapter. there’s maybe one that doesn’t hit.#i can count on one hand the dany scenes that hit in the show and half of those are bc of other people’s acting.#getting on my soap box#anti emilia clarke#does anyone who follow me like emilia. i know i got dany fans following me (you’re valid and i love and treasure you) but emilia?#like….en SPECIFIC???
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Genq how did you manage to make Clipped wings WORSE than Caged lungs. how and why
how do i break it to you that things are very very close to getting way worse
#ask#how: you havent seen ANYTHING yet#why: because 20k words into CL i realized just how long the process of recovery would actually be#and then got the idea for a specific scene and was like OHHHHHOHOHOHO#i actually find some scenes in CL to be way worse than anything in CW (so far) but its a matter of opinion i suppose#anyways cant wait for the narrative to get more linear im excited :)#is this just because i can begin doing chapter cliffhangers and i love that shit? Noooooo (Yes)#i have so many cliffhangers planned for where we went wrong i fucking love being evil
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okay played the most recent update and loved it. jay you are everything to me!!!
Oh, thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it--I'm still really happy with the last update. There's a lot of little details I'm super proud of, haha. And Jay's bits especially I'm happy with!! Thank you so much for playing~
#asks#jay#chapter 2 update#there are lil jay scenes i'm sooo happy with#though genuinely idk how many people have seen some of them#because they're on specific choice routes#like hearing about their dad at the shelter#or having them ~tend to mc's wounds~ after the accident#the joys of writing interactive fiction lmao
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I am stuck in such a rough place at the moment
Because like right now, I want to rant about how I view Dan Feng and Yingxing’s potential dynamic based on my interpretation of Dan Feng and Yingxing given the bits of characterization of them that we have
But at the exact same time, I’m literally planning the Yingxing lifespan fic that would include all of this information conveyed through events and dialogue within the fic that paint the picture I have in my mind of their dynamic
However, also I’m gonna be starting the fic from when Yingxing is a literal child being picked up by Huaiyan so getting to the point when I can finally show off that dynamic is going to take SO long and I’m so impatient
I don’t know what to do ToT I need to scream about them, I love them
#i have very specific feelings about them#to the point that i dont actually ingest much fan content of them#bc to no ones fault it doesnt match how i see them#which again is no ones fault its just how i personally see them#but i want to scream about it so bad#to see if anyone does share or to just get it out and air that out#but like AHHH#I want to put it in the fic and I dont know if screaming about it before will end up ruining the experience#bc i have like so many important scenes crafted and summarized and thought out#for the whole course of their relationship#and it genuinely makes me so emotional thinking about#PLANNING THIS FIC IS RUINING ME#I JUST AANT TO SCREAM ABOUT IT BUT I CANT#when I have the first chapter finished I am blasting it everywhere idc#hsr#honkai star rail#yingxing#dan feng#xingyue
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before i start answering more asks i wanted to say i really appreciate all the nice messages and positive feedback for this recent chapter. it just really means a lot that people are enjoying this story and the characters and relating to mc. i'm honestly kinda overwhelmed, i didn't expect it at all, so i've just been totally blown away this weekend by all the messages 🖤
#sorry im being corny lmfao#again its been really overwhelming (in a good way) and really surprised me#it's hard sharing something kinda personal and not knowing how people will react#and obviously it's still only ch3 but i definitely felt nervous about this chapter specifically for the intimate scenes#and a lot of the gender stuff#and that big conversation with hana#a lot of that stuff is just pulled straight from my own experience or the experiences of other butches that i've read#so it's really incredible seeing so many people relate to it or at the very least enjoy it#personal
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My stupid story is 20k now how I do make it stop 😵
#Every time I read through to edit I end up adding another scene this is so fuckin embarrassing#It's not even in chapters it's just one massive thing#The beginning is bad though I have to figure out how to rewrite that but lmao a fixed version with dialogue will be another 2k aha ha ha#There's one long scene I could remove and make that it's own one shot but also god how about I Don't#I'll probably end up deleting it because it's just. Too much. Compared to everything else. But also. What if I didn't? 🤷♀️#I think what's hilarious is that I had Plans. About Themes. And Character Studies. And Comparisons#And idk if it's even really in there and visible and not just 20k of 'what if I just wrote the most indulgent shit for me specifically'#And then ended it with an emotional slap to the face because I love building things up and then tearing it apart#(and it does that really well; I'm giggling into my hands - I'm dancing on my own grave)#I've cried so many times during this stupid fic#*deletes other comment*#Anyway my OTHER fic that I also indulgently love and is way too long and made me cry way too hard every fuckin scene#Does not make me cry anymore and idk if I broke it somehow in the editing or if I'm just immune to its devastation now#Honestly concerned that when I post these I'll be like 'meh; it's just ok' and then anyone who reads it is like ☠️☠️☠️☠️#Hehehehe#Ok I'm done
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What have you been writing Pocket?
not a lot, as i'm visiting family right now, but i've mostly been working on writing in the mando au. got some of it posted, which is always a great feeling. I've also been working on brainstorming and planing for two original works, one a modern magic universe and one trying to see how many pronouns i can keep track of in court intrigue. there's a lu fic about the chain meeting wars and a handful of unrelated bnha oneshots sitting on the backburner for occasional writing too.
#may i get wordjuice for the next matchless match chapter this summer... pls...#but in the meantime im glaring at the mando au because i wrote the 'kudo's first impression of the darksaber' scene#but it doesn't really work unless one knows about en's specific backstory and view re: many mandalorian ideals#but i dont have wordjuice for that one. i have word juice for uhhhh kiri and ibara hanging out apparently#anon#pocket talks to people
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Lion Hunters lions lines I'll NEVER ever be over: Sheer Impact Edition
That is why I will never come back to you.
"he obeyed when they made him lie prostrate at my feet: naked, my arms chained behind my back--" As though amazed by his mistake, Abreha slapped the carpet at his side so that the dust flew in the firelight. "Behind his back," Abreha corrected. "His arms chained behind his back."
Medraut was not talking to Telemakos. Medraut was lost in a dead British winter with his dead British brother.
"You have not been given leave to speak, Ras Meder."
"Lion against lion!"
I'm never going to be over anything in these books, but, you know, these lines! Sentences! Words! You have not been given leave to speak, Ras Meder. Help!
#add your own!#lion hunters series#the winter prince#the sunbird#a coalition of lions#the empty kingdom#elizabeth wein#lion hunters#i'm sure i'm leaving out some of the ones that hit me just as hard#but these ones haunt me#and others depend on context in a more ... visual way or something?#i had athena asking “who is the sunbird” on this list until i realized that it's the scene more than that specific question that kills me#although it's close#and lots of things goewin says make me CHEER AND YELL#but that's a list for another time#so many chapters end with SPECTACULAR lines#now that i'm thinking about it#just now#never before#not for the last year or anything#something i
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Being as you are someone who writes about Anne Boleyn, I must ask you, which are your favorite portrayals of Anne Boleyn? I mean fiction (novels, film, tv) but also non-fiction. And, do you feel your fav portrayals have influenced you in the way you write Anne and her story? Your least favorite ones, do they have an influence too? Which ones are they? Thanks
If there's one with zero merit and/or minimal entertainment value I won't include it on the list, I'll say I'll ** = my absolute favourites and * = my compelling in some aspects, but tread with caution, and those sort of in between I'll leave alone.
Or rather, let's put it another way...* is worth a library rental or free Kindle borrow, whichever you have available, and ** is worth an actual purchase. Those without *...eh, I'll leave it to you.
The Challenge of Anne Boleyn, Hester Chapman*
Adultery, Heresy, and Desire, Amy Licence*
Raven's Widow, Adrienne Dillard**
Jane Boleyn, Julia Fox**
Among the Wolves, Lauren Mackay*
Queens of Henry VIII, David Starkey*
The Story of the Death of Anne Boleyn, Translation, Edition, and Essays by Joann DellaNeva**
The Lady Elizabeth, Alison Weir*
Renaissance Prince, Lisa Hilton*
Hunting the Falcon, John Guy & Julia Fox**
The Life & Death of Anne Boleyn, Eric Ives**
Tudors in Love, Sarah Gristwood
Tudor England: A History, Lucy Wooding**
Children of Henry VIII, John Guy*
Henry VIII by Lucy Wooding**
The Other Boleyn Girl, Philippa Gregory*
The Lady in the Tower, Alison Weir*
The Lady Anne (Book 2 of 5 of Above All Others series) by Gemma Lawrence**
Judge the Best (Book 2 of 5 of Above All Others series) by Gemma Lawrence**
Threads by Nell Gavin*
In the Shadow of Lions, Ginger Garrett*
Tarnish by Katherine Longshore*
Brazen by Katherine Longshore
Anne & Henry by Dawn Ius*
Wife after Wife by Olivia Hayfield*
The King's Mind by Christopher Rae**
The Concubine by Christopher Rae**
VIII by HM Castor
Queenbreaker by Catherine McCarran
The Tudors (2007-)**
The Lovers Who Changed History (2014)**
Anne Boleyn miniseries (2021)**
Blood, Sex & Royalty (2022)**
I Am Henry: A Compelling Novel of Anne Boleyn and Henry VIII (2023)
And, do you feel your fav portrayals have influenced you in the way you write Anne and her story? Your least favorite ones, do they have an influence too? Which ones are they? Thanks
Pieces from everything influence me, Christopher Rae's and Gemma Lawrence's novels, for example, both had some of the best and credible portrayals of Henry Norris I've ever read, both in credible unrequited love (tying into, Anne's wariness thereof) that was forged into a weapon against him and for why he became such a favourite of HVIII's in the first place (would've included Jeff Lavender's thesis of Norris also, had you asked for beyond fiction and non-fiction books). The best parts of all of the above have inspired me to craft AB as a character at turns, sympathetic and unsympathetic: proud, courageous, intelligent, zealous, prudent (more in the 16c sense than 21c), fierce, jealous, sensitive, vindictive, unyielding, talented, compassionate, bold, spirited, pious, impassioned, loyal, loving ...somebody who inspired either complete devotion or implacable hatred, with very little in between, and felt comparable extremes towards her own family, friends, and adversaries.
From my least favourite...I try to remember that every choice she made was morally defensible and/or justifiable, from her own perspective, regardless of whether or not it actually was (and of course, they weren't always). I try to remember also that fear and insecurity can best explain some of her less palatable choices, as enumerated here. Basically, just that she was human and flawed, but also that there were many people personally (and often, religiously) invested in magnifying her flaws and reducing, or even outright omitting, her strengths. Obviously, that misogyny can also be a factor in some of her portrayals, is a salient remembrance to keep in mind, as well.
#pls don't judge me for some of these lol#they are all my choices for entertainment and readability#and there are actually elements of tobg i really enjoy wrt anne's characterization that if excerpted i might actually love#i love how clear-eyed ; erudite ; ambitious and passionate she was#the film adaptation is sort of like a pale reflection of that in many ways . until the one horrible SA scene the film was actually like...#not bad i just think hviii was poorly cast . the physicality but not the charisma#or just loving the dialogue#and you did specifically say for understanding /enjoying ab as a figure/ character. not necessarily the the others in her sphere#threads im going to add sa tw and also it's really only the chapters of 16c AB which had any merit#and the same sa tw for dawn ius#also technically tobg novel even if not the same as in film#she portrays mary as 13/14 so..#in some of these like TLE and HVIII her appearance is VERY brief or ancillary but i still loved#also sa tw for TLE . damn . why is this so prevalent in tudor fiction....#anon#i mean jealous in two senses of the word also:#protective and mistrustful of unfaithfulness#both understandable traits for her to have in the circumstances she was in#my least favorites are ig TOBG even tho it's technically on this list-- lol-- altho it's way more entertaining than like#TKO by alison weir and honestly also TiL in some aspects#but somehow TLE and TiL both were better than TKO and her six wives book and also her hviii and court book#the king's damsel by kate emerson.... the concubine by norah lofts...jean plaidy...margaret george
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lately my only goal w my writing sessions is just to do whatever i need to feel good and set myself up for success w the next writing session and it feels kind of like basic advice but i seriously never gave specific focus to that and it's kinda life changing lol
#like i'll have specific goals like finish this story draft or write this many words finish this scene/chapter etc#but if i dont feel like i can make that happen i try not to see it as a failure and just reroute it into#okay what do i need to do to make sure i get closer to that tomorrow#or will make it easiest for me to get back into it tomorrow/what will set me up for success tomorrow#actually v clearly focusing on THAT instead of focusing on what i DIDNT do right now makes the whole#thing feel easier overall AND makes me feel like i can actually continue to get closer to Finishing The Thing#and i make it very tangible like how much do i need to write that also accommodates my abilities today. or do i just need to write a quick#outline or just the first line etc#i dont think im gonna finish this micro first draft tonight so i thought what can i do that will help ensure i (hopefully) can tomorrow#and it was just write all the lines that are in my brain out on the page. like no matter what i can do that n i probably can do more#like i have specific goals and self imposed deadlines so im trying to get things done by certain times but giving myself grace with it so i#dont burn myself out in the process#also trying to plan in advance so i never Have to do something By The Next Day that i dont think i can do#this is what helped me finish my dissertation LOL#i realised it was far more beneficial to not force myself over my limits for that day but set myself up for success the next day#i would be like “i need to do this but i know it will be easier to do it with a refreshed mind tomorrow”#and i kept thinking “getting a good nights sleep will help me more tomorrow than forcing myself to write/edit more”#“so i have less to do tomorrow”. like okay maybe id have less to do but id also have less brain power bc i overexerted myself!#which then turned into okay what else can i do to ensure success tomorrow etc#like im tired tonight! my brain isnt working! but i know i can do things that will make me more motivated to write tomorrow#and that in itself is a success. no failure in writing as long as you are taking care of and helping yourself#instead of isolating every writing session into a single Okay How Much Can I Do Today#but acknowledging how a string of writing sessions work together. some have more production some dont#and working with that
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man i have soooooo many thoughts abt the sasaki to miyano authors rules on reposting their manga panels 🥲
#because like .. at the end if that’s what the artist wants then there’s no way you can go against it because they Made the manga you Have to#respect their wishes because it’s their work and that’s obvious#but also . idk it diminishes all the excitement abt the manga#like you can no longer talk abt specific scenes or expressions or cute panels etc#this is what kinda made me lose interest in this authors works ngl it just .. doesn’t hit the same#but that is the artists wish so nothing can be done#like i get altering panels even by colouring and stuff but not being allowed to repost (without the official hashtag ofc) is rly sad. 😭#and i’m not talking like the entire chapter ofc but rly just little panels etc to help when you’re talking abt a specific scene#i do that sm with witch hat and jjk lol and it really elevates my excitement and love ?? and i love when other ppl talk back to me abt those#scenes#i think it’s also jarring because i’ve never seen other authors post abt this many specific rules but ig it’s common in japanese fandom but#we’re just not exposed to it#it’s like when you read a book and you wanna post abt certain quotes and lines#like how else do you reference that exact thing yknow other than showing it when it’s manga panels 😭
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i was curious about the word count of my outline was getting at...
9907...
🙈
it's just an outline lmao 🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈
#and im not done either#i feel like im still far from done...#but then again i already know im gonna have enough materal for several books so...#im currently reviewing old notes and i realize that a lot of my new ideas are just reworked old ideas i had forgotten about lol#but im now getting a pretty good idea of the story and its chronology#its satisfying#it used to be just some random ideas i had in no specific order#i was going more with the feelings that became very specific scenes#its also easier to parse through the story in text form rather than relying on the unreliable narrator my brain is🤔🤔🤔🤔#like i know duh#but i had to mature on that you see lol#i wrote so many chaptered fanfiction without an actual plan and making it up as I go to know that this isnt how i work best lol#but you couldnt tell that to 18-21 y/o crow 😂
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*rereads Paris and Helene's second meeting for the nth time*
me every goddamn time: THEY HAVE SO MUCH CHEMISTRY HOW THE FUCK DO THEY HAVE THIS MUCH CHEMISTRY
It's so so so SO fun watching this entire meeting and how they both seem to constantly be in a little dance of sorts wherein Paris openly declares his interest in her and Helene keeps shutting him down ("You should come to Kylon. We won't overwork you the way your family does" -> "I don't have time to indulge in a life with people who don't think" -> "well that's good because i think about you so much i can't sleep"-> "and? get to the point already". like jfc he's not fucking vague about this At All).
But the best part is, for offstandish and disinterested as Helene is towards Paris (with her words cold and blunt towards him), it's really hard to deny that there isn't some interest on her part without there really being interest on her part (which is. confusing i know but. in context. oh. my god. she's a queerplatonic icon around Paris and i adore her for it)
My favorite thing to see in this scene is the way Paris reaches for Helene's face, casually brushing the back of his fingers against her cheek and through her hair (while commenting on how being this close to her makes his instincts spike with unease), and the moment Helene downs him she does the same exact gesture to him, lifting up his chin and brushing the back of her fingers against his face similarly. Which. Wow. I need more female antagonists to do this shit it is literally so cool to see.
Also the way Helene and Paris constantly are gauging each other is so neat. The way Helene tells Paris to "not long for what he can't have" (i.e. herself) is so neat. The way Paris is clear about his interest in Helene and she in turn matches that interest by toying with him in a way she's done with no one else in the cast is just. there is sooooo much there between them and i greatly enjoy whatever the fuck kind of chemistry it is they share because it is literally the epitome of what i crave in ships
#the mighty extra#Helene not batting an eye at Paris's advances yet doing shit like letting him touch her face and then lifting up his chin is just#ugh#how can you not ship them when there are just subtle cues like THAT that make the vibes between them so queerplatonic#i also love how Paris reaching for Helene's face reveals the fact he's very fucking uneasy around her despite his interest in her#that is a delicious contradiction for him to have and i really wonder what causes him to tremble when he tries to touch her#is it a strength thing a la he's aware she's more powerful than him and his dragon instincts quail at that?#which doesn't quite explain why Fian wouldn't react the same to Lyla?#or is this foreshadowing that Paris is aware on an instinctual level that she's an “enemy” and he can't override that instinct?#hence why he seems maddened by his own interest in her because it contradicts the very nature dragons have?#Helene also saying to him that his instincts are telling him “he shouldn't long for what he cannot have” is really sus tho#because i thiiiiink the basis for her saying that is she's warning Paris she's stronger than him therefore she can overpower him#but that's only based on current context i can scrap together and not like#potential context we've yet to get considering this manhwa has a fun habit of answering questions 20+ chapters later#and often in indirect reference to what the question was in the first place#which makes this manga suuuuuuuuuper fun to reread because you always end up learning something new#aka my favorite writing technique in existence lmao#i also wonder why Helene tells him specifically “dont long for what you can't have”#because the way she says that implies there's something deeper behind her words and i can't puzzle it out#especially because Phillip calling Helene “kindly despite her cold mask” when he saw her dancing with Paris alludes soooo many things#and that she may indeed hold interest towards him to some degree but her warning him off states she has a reason for doing so#and waaaaaaaah i think it's obvious there's something there on Helene's end#bc she seems to be true to her self only around him and she doesn't seem to care if he touches her (which is. Very Interesting)#but unless Phillip is mistaken it sounds like Helene does hold some interest in Paris but also she's uninterested in reciprocating#i think????#i think at this point their interest in eachother is both superficial is how i read it but god does that not stop them from having chemistr#and i literally cannot wait to see what it takes to get Paris and Helene from a place of hostile interest in each other to actual lovers#(im so excited for their next scene together can u tell)#(especially since Paris is finally taking Helene up on her offer of getting her help any time he wants)#(and he hasn't seen her since he made the comments that he did in chp 65)
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When is Starcrossed ending?!? I will be so so sad to see that one go because it’s my fucking favorite and im dying for a update
When the ending gets written
#I don’t actually plan these really#I have an idea for how things will play out#and a few specific scenes I want to include#but mostly I just make everything up as I go along#Starcrossed has no specific end date#but the next chapter will reveal how many challenges are left#neon answers#star crossed lovers tm
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