#And the shit I'm talking about is like. Yeah they don't Say The Words ''rape'' or ''eugenics'' but I think we can fucking

[sunnyie-eve]

48 | Boundaries

Series: Unexpected

Paring: (Matt Sturniolo x OFC Brock!) (Chris Sturniolo x OFC Brock!)

Word Count: 1.3k

Warnings: mention of rape & abortion

| MASTERLIST |

Everyone was just hanging out in the living room when Colby decided to do a surprise visit. Nick was on his laptop, Chris was watching TikTok's in his phone, and Dani and Matt were watching a black mirror episodes.

All eyes went towards the front door not expecting anyone. Matt says he'll see who it was and when he saw it was Colby he mentally sighed.

"What a surprise." Matt lets him in.

"Wanted to check in on Dani." Colby says and Dani hears him so she rolls her eyes before the two join everyone.

"Colby." Dani gives him a smile.

"I wanna take you to lunch. So get ready to go. I'm not taking no for an answer." He tells her so she gets up going to her room to change bottoms.

The guys don't really chat because Dani rushed so Colby wouldn't start anything with Matt asking stupid questions.

The car ride to lunch not a single one of them said a thing and even at lunch for the first few minutes no one said anything either.

"Why did you want to take me lunch?" Dani speaks up first, "And don't lie to me because you have never done this before."

Colby chuckles nodding his head, "That is true."

"So why now? So you can interrogate me more about  my friendship with Matt?"

"I'm just curious." He tells her.

"And I keep telling you the same thing."

"And I don't believe you or him. It's; we're close friends... It's; he's attractive but we're friends. It's; we're just friends. It's; matching tattoos but means nothing." He goes on to rant.

"You never believe me. Why?" She asks wanting to know.

"Because you have lied to me in the past about things in your relationship with your ex."

"What? He was abusive and that was proven." She says more confused than ever.

"You said y'all never did anything and you did. I found papers in mom's files about your abortion."

Dani stares at him and hates that he brought that up, "I never lied because we never did it. I was raped by his older brother that just got out of jail before going back." She lowers her voice since they were in public still, "I was 15 and I only told mom about it and we took care of it. It wasn't any of yours, Gage's, or Dad's business. I went to therapy for that not just for my anxiety."

"Dani."

"We aren't talking about it anymore. And that's final. And yes, I'm your baby sister but you need to mind your own business. Especially when it comes to who I like or don't like." She tells him.

"Exactly, you're my baby sister therefore I have a right to know things. Especially when it comes to your dating life. Especially when it's maybe with a guy you met through me."

Dani rolls her eyes, "You do not have a right. And I already knew of Matt because I was friends with Nick. You only helped by letting us finally meet up. I chose to come back here after Texas not you. My choice lead to my friendship with Matt." She explains to him.

"Also I can be curious because you two barely knew each other when he asked you to move in. That's weird to me. Why would he do that?"

"Because I needed a place to go because I didn't want to go live with you again. You would do the I told you so shit!" She snaps a bit.

"Well yeah, because I told you how she was."

"Exactly my point, Colby. If I had to make that choice again not even knowing Nick the way I did... I would still take Matt's offer than live with you." She sighs.

Colby can't help but roll his eyes a bit, "You're supposed to pick family first."

Dani can't help but laugh, "Pick family first? Okay, you wanna go there... Four years ago when I came to visit you for a week. You took me to a crazy house party then left me and the party to go hook up with some girl. I had such a bad panic attack I was taken to the hospital by some strangers at the party. You had no idea I was missing until the next day was practically over with and the hospital called you instead of mom."

"How many times have I apologized for that?"

"You shouldn't have had to because it shouldn't have never happened." She tells him, "You wanna know something sad I've realized living with them? Matt knows me more than you do Colby. Those brothers know me more than my own family." She tries not to tear up, "I feel more at home with them and their parents and Justin than with my own."

Colby just states at Dani before she gets up from the table, "Where are you going?"

"Home." She wipes her tears away leaving and he follows her.

"Are you really get a ride back?"

"I am and an uber isn't too far." She gets one to go home.

"You're being ridiculous right now."

Dani spins to face him, "Me? I'm not throwing a tantrum that my sister isn't telling me if she likes her best friend or not. And say I did and I wanted a relationship with him. What are you gonna do about it?"

Before he could answer the car pulls up so she gets in it going home. As soon as she gets home she tells the boys she wants time alone and they give it to her.

"Why isn't Dani with you three?" Nick reads the twitch chat way later in the night.

"She didn't want to." Chris tells them.

"If she wanted to join us, she would." Nick adds.

"Where is she then?" Chris reads out.

"Her room." Nick tells them then reads a few telling him to go get her to join them, "I'm not making her."

"You guys flip on her so fast." Chris shakes his head, "One second you guys want her out of stuff and now you want her with us."

Dani pushes Matt's door open since she was just in the kitchen, "I heard my name." She looks at them.

"Chat." Nick tells her and sees mixed comments now about her, "Wow." He rolls his eyes at them as Dani walks into view.

She looked like she went through hell. She had been crying almost all day since she got home, "I'm not joining them because I had a bad day." She tells the chat and they could tell by her tone she was upset.

"There, she told you why." Matt says, so she could leave his room now. He knew she just wanted to be alone to cry. Hell, all three of them knew that.

"I'll lay in here for a bit." She turns crawling onto Matt's bed as him and Chris switch spots. Matt made sure to sit at an angle where Dani wasn't being shown much and Chris helps by moving a pillow to block Dani as well.

"Oh, you guys can expect a new video coming out soon on Dani's channel. With me." Chris lets viewers know.

"Because I said no." Matt spits out making Chris and Dani look at him.

"No." She tells him since that wasn't true at all.

"We had that planned. Like since we were back home." Chris tells him.

"Is there a competition going on about...who can be on her channel the most?" Matt asks the three, "Because I seem to be dead last in this with Chris in first."

Nick gives him a look, "You are so butthurt."

"That's one way to put it." Matt agrees.

"Of course, Nick." Nick says then it hits him he said his name instead as the others laugh. "At least I got Dani to laugh." Nick says proud of himself because she needed it.

[velvetvexations]

--- somehow i don't think the trans radfem movement thinks aphobia is a fine word to exist

It's almost quaint. Almost.

Why is there a wave of trans radfems defending 4chan boards

I'm going to need to be pointed to this if only because I'm going to get dinged for spreading malicious lies about trans women being "Nazis" otherwise, but lmfao if true.

wtf kind of hill is txttletale dying on now?

I mean she's still a tankie fuck but apparently now she's also getting in on the transmisogynistic harassment campaign game.

isn't "doll" specifically a fetish term? that is really not something people should be applying to other people without making sure it's ok first.

No, it's a Black ballroom term that trans women started running with.

People on this site are taking pissing on the poor to a whole new goddamn level “telling people that this person is/has sexually harassed someone who was a minor is calling everyone with their identity a pedophile”, I’d blame the school system but that really was a choice not to actually read and relay

it's definitely malicious

joan jett in the mv for i hate myself for loving you is like, unbearably beautiful

so true

it’s so obvious that these people choose to isolate themselves in a dimension crafted out of their own self-hatred that they care more about hurting their oppressors (and people who don’t even oppress them) than uplifting people hurt by systems of oppression. sometimes i think i’m bad but then i come across people like that and realise i’m relatively well-adjusted

inspiring innit

post addressed to trans women from a trans woman about trans women –> trfs in the notes: “why are you telling me to be nice to trans men?”

they have their priorities

absolutely wild to say that transunitists are 2010-reddit-style mras and then say things like "afab privilege." yeah those afabs with their wielding of power. and i bet they get free drinks at every bar and their bosses promote them for being pretty, huh.

they get upset at having their logic compared to MRAs because it's implicit misgendering (never mind that they directly call random trans men MRAs and radfems as well) but I'm not sure what they expect when they talk at length about how all of those fucking evil AFAB bitches are just waiting for their chance to screw you over with a false rape accusation

"pick me" is AAVE, and, like all white girls, they're overusing and misusing it until it has no meaning left 🙄

I actually wasn't aware of that. Neat. Disputed? See replies.

a lot of this going on is just reminding me once again of the intense monogenderism that really never gets worked on. It’s super awkward as a multigendered individual and an intersex one

it also just really feels so fucking tone ignorant the way people talk.

society still calls traits of men or masc, some even actively choose to agree while still being a counter to it gender but obviously real trans women don’t so attacking those things would never hurt them, and multigender trans woman who are also men? Obviously fake.

the English language is so fucking insufficient

I honestly wish every asshole who seems to think the ability to mask as complete cis and definitely just your assigned gender is a privilege had to live in my head for the holiday season. I am entirely in the closet with my family because of bigotry I have no other choice than living with my family for multiple reasons I just spent the entire winter holiday pretending to be a woman answering to my deadname being called aunty and sister and daughter and not being able to say jack shit about it without even being able to retreat to the solace of my friends afterwards because they are all busy with their own families. I want those assholes to experience the emotions and thoughts I just went through and come out the otherside and see if they still think that this is a fucking privilege.

Love you anon. <3

that anon telling on themselves so hard saying transmisogynys "far deeper" than transphobia. literally why on earth would you phrase it like that if the point was anything besides "my *special* oppression is way more poignant and meaningful than your boring regular oppression"

lmao right though it's so obviously just trying to mark their thing as having more dramatic flair

do you keep a backup of your blog with a program like tumblthree? there's a lot of valuable posts on it, and tumblr is almost distressingly transitory.

I don't, but noted.

[damnfandomproblems]

respond to a reply on this post: https://www.tumblr.com/damnfandomproblems/758279107941466112/fandom-problem-5461-cishet-being-used-to?source=share

"are you seriously equating making fun of a marginalized group to making fun of like, idk gender reveal parties or whatever people in your fandom make fun of cishets for doing? Like I don't mock people based on their sexuality but tell me that you do understand the difference between someone making fun of a marginalized group with a high suicide rate and someone poking fun at straight people.(Also, for the folks making racism comparisons: I'm white and when people make white people jokes about like, white people love avocado toast! White people love yoga and saying buddy! or whatever, 1) I don't mind 2) that's much different than a white person making fun of say, Black people.)"

As a poc, and specifically a queer (cisbi) native american (tlingit) who grew up around cishet white people, when it comes to online and fannish spaces I have noticed that people tend to cross the line from making harmless fun to just straight up expressing and encouraging hatred

While this is definitely a minority of people who believe and act out on these beliefs, there is a problem of people truly believing that cishet white people are all genuinely evil and inherently evil at that, and that the only way to "fix" (cleanse) the world of all problems would to be committed genocide in fandom spaces. They immediately assume the worse and dehumanize and rejected similarities they may share with cishet white people. It's absolutely prejudice and need to not only be called out, but utterly tossed in the bin

I get feeling uncomfortable or even wary of people who appart of the same kind of people who have oppressed you because you are not sure if they too have been indoctrinated into the bigotry, but we live in the modern era, more often then not you'll find that most cishet white people just don't care about poc and queer stuff

Cishet whites aren't responsible for crimes they weren't even alive for, that their ancestors committed. They are far more often ignorant because the education system is shit and has a lot racism/ableism/etc baked into foundation ontop of not really being how to do own research, then they are intentionally malicious and bigoted, and the best way to prevent them from being indoctrinated into bigotry is to just, expose them queers and poc who are chill with them and are willing to educate. Insulting them and assuming they want to hurt minorities just because they're cishet whites is the best way to push them into radical hands that will instead pain queers and poc as the ones who just want to hurt others for being cishet whites, because "obviously" why else would they immediately assume you want hurt them unless they want to hurt you?

Hating anyone for things they cannot control (race, gender, sexuality, etcetera) only breeds more hate. Yeah, don't tolerating bigots, but if genuinely can't stand a certain demographic of people ignore them rather then going out of your way to hate them. Educate if you can, or shut up when talking to people who haven't don't anything to you beyond offend your sensibly for committing the crime of being born a certain way, because otherwise you're just feeding into the genuinely malicious and bigoted peoples hands and making it easier for them to take the ignorant and make them malicious too

Hatred at the end of the day is hatred, sure, it might not be the racist or homophobic flavor of hatred, but it's still hatered. And no one should hate anyone, at least not for the things they can't control (because fuck pedos/rape-philies in general and murders and genuine racists of course, they can all go get shot, don't get me wrong and twist my words like I know some of y'all are just dying to do)

Posting as a response to a previous problem.

[jenniferjareauwife]

Can you write about JJ’s teenage daughter being raped and then JJ finding out, but not at first. Reader almost breaks down before she tells JJ

Nothing You Can't Get Through

pairing: jennifer jareau x daughter reader

category: hurt/comfort

warnings: rape

word count: 800

age: 16

summary: you break down and tell your mom you were raped

Another night of no sleep. It had been almost every night for a month since it happened. I still hadn't told my mom, I couldn't. It wasn't that I didn't trust her it was just that I didn't know how to get the words out. I knew she knew something was wrong, the way she lingered when I was quiet and how she made my favorite meals on the days that were especially bad. She did it all the without me telling her to. There had been a handful of times where the words were on the tip of my tongue but I just didn't quite have the courage to say them.

"Y/n?" My mom knocked on my door. Why was she still awake? It was 2 in the morning. She walked into my room and sat down on the edge of my bed.

"Hi mom." I turned over so I was facing her.

"Hey baby." She put her hand on my side, rubbing it gently. "Can't sleep, huh?" I shrugged.

"You can't either?"

"I can't sleep when I know my daughter is awake and needs me, ok?" I nodded. "Can I lay here with you?" I nodded again so she laid down on her side, putting her arm around my waist.

"Mom." My voice came out as barely a whisper and I knew she couldn't hear me. My heart pounded in my chest and I prayed that her eyes weren't adjusted to the dark so she couldn't see my eyes welling up with tears.

"What's going on with you baby?" She asked quietly, wiping away a tear from my cheek. Shit, she could see.

"What?"

"You've been different this past month. Don't say it's nothing, I know somethings wrong, ok?" She reached her hand up to gently stroke my hair. "You don't have to talk about it right now if you don't want to, but I want you to talk to me."

"Mom." My voice came out choked and her eyes softened when she saw how hard it was for me to get the words out.

"You can say it baby. I'm here for you." She kissed my forehead gently, being almost painfully patient with me as I tried to stop crying.

"I'm sorry-" I cut myself off with a ginormous sob, wracking my entire body. She immediately pulled me into her arms, kissing the top of my head while holding me as tight as she could.

"Shh, don't apologize baby. It's ok, just let it all out." She rubbed my back slowly, knowing how much it helped me calm down. "I'm here for you, ok? I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere. I'm right here baby, I'm always here for you." I wrapped my leg over her waist, holding her closer to me. This really felt like everything I needed, to just cry to my mom while she held me. It hadn't even been a minute but I felt so much of my anxiety just melt away.

I must've been crying fifteen minutes before I said anything else. "Mom...I was raped." I could barely hear myself but I knew she heard me, the way her body tensed up slightly as she held me closer to her, like she wanted to protect me from everything.

"I'm so sorry honey." She kissed the top of my head and I hid my head in her chest, not feeling like I could say anything else about it. The words were out of my mouth, my mom knew and that was fine with me. I knew I could talk to her about it if I needed to, I could cry about it, I could scream about it, I knew she would be there to support me in any way she could.

"Mom I..."

"Yeah?"

"Can you stay here with me tonight?" She nodded.

"Of course I can honey." She stroked my hair again, cradling my head against her chest. "It's gonna be ok, you hear me? I know it seems hard right now but you're gonna get past this. It might seem like the world is crumbling around you and that's ok, it's perfectly fine to feel that way. But you're so strong, honey. You're so strong and there is absolutely nothing you can't get through." I sniffled and looked up at her through my teary eyes.

"Thanks."

"Of course honey. I'm gonna be here for you every step of the way." She rubbed my back, rolling onto her back so I could lay down on top of her. "I love you baby, you're so strong."

"I love you too mom." I sniffled and hid my face in her neck, feeling like I was finally going to be able to get some sleep now that I knew my mom had my back.

[vaspider]

Okay, so I hope I don't come off as really confrontational and I'm sorry if it does. I've started to notice an increasing number of posts on your blog that seem to be critical of things trans women do on an intra-community level. I wasn't going to say anything before, but someone you reblogged mentioned that they were starting to keep an archive of what they called "Trans radfem behavior" and that concerned me a bit.

I have -- for years -- been extremely critical of cop behavior within the community or divisive behavior within the community. I have been critical of fellow lesbians when they have gone after aces and bi people. I have been critical of fellow transmascs when they say shitty things. My most quoted, most reblogged, most 'taken and posted on other sites', most linked on Reddit (fucking apparently) post is one about divisiveness and respectability politics within the community, how those things fail us and set us up to be split up and devoured by the cishets, and a call for radical inclusiveness within the community as the only way forward.

This isn't new. I've always been like this.

I have also always been critical of the idea that identity is a shield for shitty behavior. Whether that's disabled people acting like they can't be ableist, queer people acting like they can't say homophobic shit, Jews who think they can't act in an antisemitic way, or trans people acting transphobic or saying transphobic things, this is not a new concept for me, nor one I'll move away from. It is an unfortunate thing that disabled ableists and trans radfems exist, but they do, and I've gotten tired of the idea that we have to pretend someone isn't saying shitty things because of their identity.

For a long time, one of the topics I shied away from was discussing the divisions within the trans community specifically, because -- quite frankly -- I've seen the dogpiling that tends to happen to transmascs when we criticize the shitty, bioessentialist, 'man bad woman good' behaviors of a very small but very vocal section of the online transfem community.

But shying away from talking about that is just fucking cowardice, and I've never been able to stand for cowardice within myself. So yeah, you're definitely seeing more criticism of shitty intracommunity behavior within the trans community with me. I have never been one to criticize shitty behavior restricted to identity, however, and I have surely been critical of shit behavior regardless of whether or not the person saying it is a trans man, a trans woman, or any other group of people.

You will continue to see me criticize shitty behavior, because I am absolutely fed up with the way that this community treats itself, and you will see me talk about the things that happen as they happen. Right now, there's an awful lot of shitty behavior aimed at trans men and transmascs on this site, including some from trans women. It's absolutely unconscionable to talk about raping people, or to use words like "theyfab," "cuntboy," and "zippertits" to refer to transmascs. That's what's happening, so yep, you're gonna see that on my Tumblr.

The solution here is not to be concerned about me talking about it, but to be concerned about the people doing that. Talking about shit behavior isn't the problem. The shit behavior is the problem, and it's important to both talk about the shit behavior so it fucking stops, and to talk about the shit behavior very clearly as the actions of the people who took them and not the actions of a community. It sucks that there are transfems and trans women who think it's okay to treat transmascs and trans men the way that some transmascs on here are being treated right now. Those transfem folx should know better than to pull that shit, because they know what it's like to be the target of that kind of behavior.

That said, I am absolutely not responsible for what other people say or do. I am not aware of having reblogged or endorsed the idea of starting an archive of 'trans radfem shit,' so I'm very confused as to why exactly you're talking to me about it as if I said it or endorsed it or as if it has anything to do with me, or why it would be bad to talk about the way in which trans people of any gender can fall prey to radfem manipulation. Maybe the person talking about it specified they were tracking trans women, but even the ask you sent me says 'trans radfem behavior,' so I'm assuming it would be trans people of any gender, right? If not, why are you linking those ideas together?

Like, I didn't say it, I didn't endorse it, I'm not responsible for it, but what exactly would be wrong with talking about how radfem mindsets infect our community in the first place? The manner in which too many trans people find it easy to fall into the bioessentialist thinking of radfems is a community problem.

tl;dr: I criticize everybody when they act like fools, and I'm not responsible for some random thing that 'somebody I reblogged' said.

[kokoch4n3l]

DEAD GIRL’S BEACH ࿐ྂ KUROKAWA IZANA x f!oc x SANO MANJIRO

THREE — iv bags and daffodils

"he looks at me like I'm below him. he doesn't say it nor does he act that way but his eyes say it all. patient likes loves power. he craves it" — MAYA'S ROUGH NOTES ON K.I

chapter summary: Maya faces a moral dilemma, trying to pick between her livelihood and ethics all while under the watchful eye of the hospital director and her patient, Kurokawa Izana.

chapter warnings: inaccurate depictions of psychiatric hospitals, mentions of alcohol, mentions of depression, drug use, allusions to sex, abuse of authority, power imbalance, unethical use of drugs, mentions of alcohol, mentions of rape, mentions of murder

word count: 4213

moodboard | masterlist | previous | chapter 4

Pretty is what Kurokawa Izana would use to describe Kaneko Maya. She was so pretty. Kaneko Maya was cute, funny, pretty and just Manjiro's type. Had his younger brother not been a depressed little shit right now, Izana would have gotten Ran to gift her to Manjiro. Even if he did now, Izana doubts Manjiro would even do anything. He heard that depression affects the libido. Even before he was admitted into this shitty psychiatric hospital, no matter how many hostess bars he took Manjiro to, how many hookers he called over, how many strip clubs— Manjiro was just bored. For a while, he thought the guy was probably a nervous virgin who only knew how to fight but after a drunken conversation with Sanzu Haruchiyo, Manjiro's childhood friend, he finds out that was in fact not the case. Manjiro was pretty popular with the girls when they were in middle school(due to his shoulder-length blonde hair and girls having a huge thing for pretty boys with the deep voices). Manjiro was 100%, not a virgin and just depressed as hell. "Kakucho" Izana says holding the flip phone against his ear "How's everything going?"

Friday came by pretty quickly as usual. "It's fine as usual. You'll be out on Monday. Are you excited?" Kakucho, his childhood and right-hand man asks

Izana leans back in his shitty bed and stares out the window. It's about 10:30 am, the sun is still rising. "Yeah, about time. If it wasn't for the cute little doctor that gives me company during her night shift, would've gone fuckin' crazy for real"

"That sounds unprofessional" Kakucho mutters in disappointment

Izana laughs. "It's actually not like that. Cute kid, fresh outta uni"

Kakucho laughs. It's rare to hear Kakucho laugh. "I don't believe that one-bit Izana"

"Well, you better. Kaneko Maya, real eye candy" Izana hums and stares up at the white ceiling and starts to ramble about her "talks a lot and y’know I usually hate girls that yap but she's a real cutie. Thinkin' she can fix me and shit. It’s so fuckin’ cute. She's got this little notebook she takes notes on when she talks to me. Nosey as fuck but real cute. Got these blowjob eyes—"

"She's a psychiatrist, she's supposed to be nosey," Kakucho cuts him off before he can get vulgar, simultaneously ignoring the number of times Izana used the word cute to describe his psychiatrist "What did you say her name was again?"

Izana scoffs. "You gonna do a background check on my little doctor Kakucho? This late in too? 'M leavin' Monday"

"It's my job"

Of course, it was. Kakucho was protective. Overprotective at times. It was one of the reasons Izana kept him around. To feel wanted(and because he cared about him but Izana won't say that out loud). "Kaneko Maya. How 'bout ya’ tell me what cha' find when you're done"

"Of course"

And they end the phone call not long after. Izana sits in silence for a while and sighs tiredly. He stares down his left arm with the iv in it. Apparently whatever medication was being given to him was essential to his recovery but he really fuckin' hated it. He felt like actual shit. Tired all the time, sleepy as shit. He hated it. Oh well, he was getting out this Monday anyway. He had been here for 2 months and Maya had only been working here for a month. Perhaps had she been here the whole time the first month would have been more bearable as well. He was leaving Monday anyway. Maybe if Maya was that kind of girl she'd take up the offer of coming to his beach house and maybe she'd even put Manjiro in a good mood with those cute puppy eyes she has. After all, Manjiro has always had a fixation on cute and pretty things and Izana knew him long enough to know that. Izana hears his door click and inwardly sighs in annoyance at whoever was going to enter his room. He glares at the door but his harsh gaze immediately turns into one of surprise when seeing his night shift doctor. "what are you doing here?" He asks, narrowing his eyes at Maya

Maya is wearing her blue scrubs, her white doctor's coat sleeves folded to her elbows. She's got the pager clipped to her belt, the key bracelet thing around her wrist and her ID card securely clipped to the breast pocket on her coat. "wow no hi or good morning or how are you?" Maya asks sarcastically, the door shutting with a click behind her

Her eyes are slightly red and she looks exhausted. Her hair is tied back in a bun with a few curly strands framing her face. "Hi, good morning, how are you?" Izana says sarcastically then changes immediately to a more serious and authoritative tone "You ended your shift 6 hours ago. Go home"

Maya's shift starts from 9 pm to 4 am, she brings the patients dinner because the nurses pushed the job onto her, brings the trays back and down to the kitchen, then comes back up and sticks around as there wasn't much to do unless one of the patients/criminals, needed something which wasn't often. "Yeah... But I fell asleep in the breakroom after my shift and the old man in charge of the morning told me to take his shift and went home before I could say anything" she complained and plopped down on the chair and bolted down on the floor by his bed "I complained to the director but he told me that since I was here anyway I should just take the shift and he'd paid me extra"

Izana can't help but roll his eyes. She really wanted to pay off those loans huh? "I think that's called exploitation" He says

Which is huge coming from Izana considering what he does for a living. "Yeah but... Money" she shrugs "I get to leave at lunchtime though and don't have to come back for the night shift"

"Oh gee! How great!" Izana says sarcastically once again

Izana feels a bit odd being annoyed about the fact that his doctor is being taken advantage of. He's known her for a month and he knows she's kind and these other shitty old people employed here liked to take advantage of her kindness. To make it worse she rarely complained about it. Oh well, at least he gets to see her longer and talk to her for longer. "Haven't seen those before" Izana says looking at the two necklaces she was wearing

One was a gold oval pendant with a delicate border and the outline of a flower in the center of it. The second necklace, also gold, was a small butterfly pendant. Cute. "What's the thing in the center of the coin?" He asks "A rose?"

Maya looks down at her necklace and realizes they are untucked. It was a huge safety hazard considering she could be choked. But Sunshine Grove was a shitty psychiatric hospital and none of the employees really took safety seriously(Maya neither) so they rarely removed jewelry and just kept things like necklaces tucked under their clothes. "Ah~ it's a daffodil," Maya tells him, touching the pendant "my birth flower. My birthday's in March"

Izana chuckles. How cute. "Your birth flower, hm..."

One thing Izana liked about Maya was that she tended to ramble about random things that interested her. "Oh oh have you heard that greek myth story about daffodils?" She asks

Izana would usually be annoyed at this kind of rambling but perhaps Maya had the privilege to just talk. Pretty privilege is what Ran calls it. Izana forgot what he meant since he usually tunes whatever Ran says, out but he figures maybe this is what it is. "So basically there was this guy Narcissus. He was supposedly really good-looking. But he never found anyone that could attract him. He left a long trail of distressed and broken-hearted maidens, and one or two young men fell as well" she giggles a bit then continues the story "Then, one day, he happened to see his own reflection in a pool of water and, thus, discovered the ultimate in unrequited love and fell in love with himself. Obviously, this one-way relationship went nowhere, and Narcissus, unable to draw himself away from the pool, pined away in despair until he finally died of thirst and starvation"

Izana raises a brow. "What?"

"Yeah, and he turned into a daffodil. So another name for daffodils is Narcissus" 

Izana can't help but laugh. What a stupid story. "I'm guessing this shitty story has a moral like all Greek myths"

Maya nods. "I think it was a warning not a moral. Something like ‘love and obsession lie closer together than we think’ or something" 

Oh. Time passes by when Maya rambles. She was honestly the highlight of his day or well, night. But right now it was the day so she was the highlight of his day. He figures that since she's here right now she won't be here tonight and since it was Friday he won't see her till Monday. He’ll stay a while before he leaves on Monday to say goodbye. Time passes by fast and soon comes lunch. "You know doctor, if there's one thing I'll miss about this shitty place it'll be you talking my ear off" Izana says playfully

Maya laughs. "really well—" she pauses taking in his word "what do you mean? I'm still gonna be working here y'know"

"I'm leaving Monday. Getting discharged and will be back to my normal life" He tells her with a grin "what are you gonna miss me?"

He's being playful but the expression on Maya's face makes him confused. Why is she looking at him like that. He watches her pull out the little notebook of her's and flip through the pages. Izana watches as she mutters something to herself and all he hears are little curse. "Hey, doctor... What's wrong?" He asks in confusion

Why was this her reaction? Maya gets up and walks over to where his IV bag was hung up. She looks long and hard at the bag then turns to him. She's standing right next to him. She rarely gets this close. "You're leaving on Monday?" she repeats with a frown “like discharged and going home?”

Izana is starting to get worried and a bit aggravated, not understanding why she's looking at him like that. As far as he knew she knew nothing about him or what he did. So why was she giving him that look? "Doctor. I'd like to know why you're looking at me like that" Izana says slowly

He isn't nervous. Not at all. A man like him isn't nervous. He's concerned. There's a huge difference between the two emotions. He watches Maya take a breath. "Um... Mr. Kurokawa..." She pauses and looks at him nervously "What... What are you here for? What are you admitted here for?"

That question confuses him. Why was she asking him that? Shouldn't she know? "You should know what I'm here for" He tells her lowly, narrowing her eyes at him "You're my—"

"Mr. Kurokawa" Maya says, her voice a bit breathy 

She looks scared almost and it's starting to annoy the hell out of Izana. "Cocaine addiction. Now tell me why you're making that face"

Maya looks nervous, scared and confused. So many different emotions swirl around in her eyes. "So... You're not a convicted criminal?"

He was 100% a criminal but not a convicted one. No one has caught him yet but Maya didn't need to know that. "No and why does that relate to this?"

Maya looks like she might throw up. "You're here for addiction but you're on the fourth floor and not second" She says

"Why should I be on the second floor?" He asks, his voice demanding and angry

Maya sucks in a breath. "second floor is where patients admitted for addiction stay... You're on the fourth floor where the convicted criminals who got off by claiming insanity"

Oh. Oh… Maya chews nervously at her bottom lip. She looks like she might throw up and Izana is pissed. He's fucking pissed. He watches Maya pat her pockets and she pulls out a piece of gauze and then takes his hand. He's about to ask what she's doing but then she puts the gauze pad over the insertion site as gently as she can. She starts to pull it out, increasing pressure as she smoothly withdraws the catheter. Izana stays silent and watches her stick a bandaid to the area. "keep pressure on it for a few minutes" she mumbles and grabs the IV bag

Izana puts his thumb over his wrist where the IV was inserted and watches her. She looked like she was going to be sick and it was pissing him off. What the hell? Maya is about to leave but he stops her. "Doctor... If this is what I think it is..." Izana says slowly

Maya just shakes her head and leaves his room. Izana narrows his eyes, staring at the door. He looks down at his wrist where the IV was just taken out of and was now replaced with a bandage. He stares for a moment longer then pulls out the flip-phone again and calls Kisaki. 

"What's this?" Maya threw the half-empty IV bag onto the hospital director's desk

The hospital director, Doctor Nakamura, narrows his eyes at her. "I don't appreciate you coming in without knocking Doctor Kaneko" He says lowly

Maya wasn't going to back down today. She needed answers. She may be new, she may have just graduated a few months ago but what was wrong was wrong. "Why is Mr Kurokawa on the fourth floor and not the second? He's here for cocaine addiction not for a court order" Maya was going to get her answers today "Why is he being given a sedative and that too, that high of a dose?"

She didn't care about superiority or anything. It didn't matter. Not now when a patient was clearly not being treated for what he came for. This was against the ethics of a doctor. "Doctor Kaneko..." Doctor Nakamura says, grabbing the half-empty IV bag with a dark almost crazed look in his eyes "That man... That man is evil incarnate—"

Maya rubs her temples. "Cocaine addiction does not make a man evil incarnate. You run a psychiatric hospital you can’t say things like that. Whatever it is you did, whatever it is you're doing is wrong" Maya says sternly

This was making her sick. She couldn't believe this. She knew Sunshine Grove was shitty with how they'd push all the work onto her but she didn't think it was so shitty that they'd give a patient a drug they didn't even need. This was disgusting.  "Doctor Kaneko. You don't know what he did. this is much deeper than cocaine addiction"

"He's getting out on Monday! Mr. Kurokawa has been here for 2 months" Maya argues "If he did something so bad, he wouldn't be leaving. He'd be in jail"

Doctor Nakamura doesn't look like he has the patience for this. But Maya doesn't either. What was wrong, was wrong. "Listen Miss Kaneko..." He says slowly, now looking very aggravated, no longer using her proper title "We'll have this conversation on Monday when your shift starts. How about you go home? You must be exhausted"

It wasn't a suggestion but an order. "Unless you want to start looking for another hospital that will hire you, Miss Kaneko"

Maya feels a lump rise in her throat. No. Nonononono. No. She can't lose her job. She can't. She stares at Doctor Nakamura with wide eyes. This wasn't fair. She was trying to do the right thing and— shit. She opens her mouth to say something, to try and argue, to at least give him a threat of reporting him for mistreating Kurokawa Izana but nothing comes out. Maya feels powerless. It was between her livelihood and her morals. Was this what her mother meant? Was this what she meant when she said it was hard to be a doctor? Maya thought psychiatrists were different. She thought... She thought... This wasn't fair. She clenches his fists and lowers her head. "Yes sir" she says in defeat and promptly leaves the office

Maya walks back to the lockrooms with her head down. She feels like shit. She can't believe she gave in that easily. She hates herself. She can't even get herself to go back up to Izana's room and give him an explanation. She's horrible. She's a shit person and she knows that the guilt is gonna make her sick till she throws up. Maya pulls her hair out of the bun and runs her fingers through it angrily as she walks into the locker room without paying attention to her surroundings. stupidstupidstupidstupidstupidstupidstupidstupidstupidstupid— "shit!"

Maya looks up at realizes she just had her book main character moment where she bumps into the really hot guy's rock-hard chest. The guy no doubt was very hot. He's a security guard by the looks of the uniform but doesn't look like anyone she's seen on duty before. He has black hair parted in the center, olive-toned skin and heterochromatic eyes, one red and the other silver. But what really caught Maya's eye was the scar on his face. Starting from his left ear, going over the corner of his left(silver) eye then up across his forehead and disappearing into his hairline. Maya stops staring and lowers her gaze. "S-sorry" she stutters out "I wasn't watching where I was going. My bad"

He's tall and oh... Wow, he's well-built. Maya has to will herself to tear her gaze away from his chest. This guy 100% had a fricken six-pack underneath that uniform. "It's fine..." He pauses and looks at her up and down "You look tired Doctor"

Maya laughs nervously. Oh man, this guy was hot. It's almost making her forget about the guilt. Oh wait, nope she remembered it again. "Well, I'm new and you know, these oldies like pushing their work onto the newbies," She says with a shrug "I'm going home right now though... I haven't seen you around though"

The man is staring at her ID card pinned to her coat. "Hm.. Yeah, I am... I'll be taking the night shift from now on. 4th floor. They're just gonna be showing me around today"

Maya's eyes light up. New eye candy for the 4th floor now that Izana was leaving? Okay, maybe that makes her feel a little better. "Oh I work night shifts on the fourth floor too" she gives the man a friendly smile "I'm Doctor Kaneko Maya"

The man nods. Professional but also somewhat friendly. "Hitto Kakucho. I prefer just Kakucho"

Hitto? That was an odd last name. She doesn't think she's ever heard it before. But his odd last name slipped her mind pretty quickly due to the guilt she was feeling and the unholy thoughts about Kakucho that were going through her head. Oh man, he's hot and these contrasting feelings are making her head hurt. "I'll be seeing you on Monday then Doctor" Kakucho says "Get home safe"

Maya nods and Kakucho brushes past her. The locker room is once again engulfed in silence and now all that's left is Maya's guilt. She sighs and texts Chifuyu to ask him to pick her up. 

Maya sits outside in the reception area waiting for Chifuyu to come get her. She usually drives herself but last night Chifuyu insisted on driving her last night. Maya stares at the white tiled floor, sighing for the nth time. She felt like actual shit. The guilt is making her sick. Izana had been given that damn sedative for 2 months. Sometimes she'd administer it to him too. For what? For some messed up reason, she's still yet to find out. Maya feels guilty and gross and just horrible. She wants to cry. She hates this. None of this was fair. Why did it have to be her patient? Had she really just got herself caught up in something stupid all for the sake of money? Shit shit shit Maya really hated herself right now. "fuck~" she whines to herself and leans forward till her forehead touches her knees while she sits in the chair 

She feels like a stupid idiot. She should have just asked Izana what he was here for on the first day instead of trying to be nice and let him open up on his own. Now look where being nice got her. Maya flinches as her phone vibrates. She gets up and grabs her bag off the floor. It was probably Chifuyu. She bids goodbye to the man at the reception and leaves the building at the sight of a black car outside. Except it's not Chifuyu leaning against the car, it's Naoto. Her cheeks flush. Of-fucking-course Chifuyu was trying to play matchmaker. Right now wasn't a good time with how sick she felt. "hey" Naoto says with a small smile

He looks shy and had it not been for her guilt, Maya knows she'd probably be feeling the same way. "H-Hey, did Chifuyu send you?" Maya asks nervously "I'm so sorry"

Naoto shakes his head and opens the passenger seat of his car. "Oh no don't worry. Was on a break anyway. Chifuyu said he was busy and told me to come" 

Maya slides into the passenger seat and after making sure she's sitting comfortably he closes the door. Maya puts her bag on the floor of the car and puts on her seat belt. Naoto gets into the driver's side and starts the car. "I thought you had the night shift, what are you doing here so late?" He asks putting on his seatbelt

"They had a shortage... I'll be getting paid for overtime though so it's fine" Maya says trying to ignore the shitty feeling of guilt that just isn't going away

Oh man, she needed a drink. "You look exhausted. Should get some sleep when I drop you home" Naoto tells her as he pulls out of the parking lot and then out of the front gate of the hospital

"Yeah, I will.... gonna shower and just sleep and..." She pauses and thinks for a moment as they make it onto the main road "Can I ask you something?"

"You just did" Naoto points out with a small laugh and Maya can't help but laugh as well. "I'm kidding, ask away"

She thinks for a moment and tries her best to word her question. Perhaps getting an outside opinion would make her feel better. "You're a police officer, right? H-Has there ever been a time where you had to choose between your job or..." she pauses "Livelihood is a better word... Um... Has there ever been a time when you had to choose between your livelihood and your morals?"

Naoto looks surprised by her question. He keeps his eyes on the road as he answers. "W-well yeah... Have to all the time. Just last month I got called out on duty to arrest a woman for murder..." Naoto recalls then frowns "I asked her why she did it during interrogation she told me it was because the man raped her"

"Oh" Maya mumbles quietly

"You don't understand how badly I wanted to let her go. Murder is wrong but those cases... In those rare cases, even wrong can be right"

Maya takes in the information. She tries to apply it to her situation, to find just where the director was coming from but she couldn't. Kurokawa Izana didn't deserve that treatment. "But I have to say, Maya, if this is about work our situations are different... In other departments, things can be covered up by saying it was a fraud scam or corruption... In the medical department, however," He lowers his tone to "It's negligence of life... murder"

Maya's heart pounds. He was right. She didn't think of that. "Yeah... you're right" she mumbles

A silence washes over the car for a moment till Naoto speaks up again. "If there is something wrong at work, I can help you out" 

It was a nice offer but what was she supposed to say? Where was she supposed to start? Maya feels stupid because she knows she can just tell Naoto but she can't get herself to. She feels stupid and guilty and the feeling doesn't cease even as Naoto drops her off at her place. Maya's shoulder slouch as she unlocks her door. She hates this so much. A shudder passes through her suddenly at the feeling of being watched. Maya looks around for a moment and sees no one. She shakes her head and brushes it off as stress and goes into her home, locking the door behind her.

From the other side of the street, Kisaki Tetta blows out a cloud of smoke and scoffs.

notes: I do NOT condone any of the acts committed in this fic. Next chapter is gonna be my first time ever writing smut so plz, if it's bad I'm sorry 😭

I would also like to point out that I am a criminology major and don’t know much about the medical field, especially psychiatry. Everything written in this fic is not supposed to be accurate but just for the plot.

This is a double update so next chapter is already up. I have also added chapter summaries to the masterlist so go take a look!

I hope you enjoyed reading so far :)

updates are every monday

taglist: @kokonoiscoconut @mysouleaten @yaya4thawin @piroporopo @reiners-milkbiddies

[smileydk]

The Town Weirdo

Pairing: Misfit!Wooyoung x Popular!Reader

Summary: Jung Wooyoung was a misfit. He didn't look different, he didn't dress too differently, he didn't act different, someone just decided that he didn't fit into the frame, and everyone hopped on the idea. Everyone except one, who didn’t want to judge before knowing both sides of a story.

cw/tw: bullying, harsh language, mental and physical abuse, domestic violence, fluffy, angst, mentions of rape and kidnapping

They acted as if he didn't existed. They all thought that maybe if they don't think about him, he'd disappear. He was like a bogger in the school's nose, like an eyelash in your eye. Simply there to annoy, never to do any good.

Even the adults treated him like nothing.

He was never called on in class, even if he raised his hand. He rarely ever got his tests back, grades would be shit because they didn't like him.

He hadn't done anything to be hated. He had always kept to himself, he'd always studied, he was (technically) a straight A-student, he'd never done anything to offend anyone.

He always wore an oversized, black hoodie, black, baggy cargo pants and a pair of purple air Jordans. Occasionally the hoodie would change color, but mostly he wore all black. He fit into the school's fashion perfectly.

Yet, for whatever reason, the football team decided that since everyone hated him, why not make his life fucking miserable? His life wasn't hard enough already, with everyone avioding him like the plague.

A young girl, no older than 5 years, had gone missing a few months ago. In such a small town news traveled fast. Everyone knew about her disappeareance.

At first everyone were worried, everyone looked for her. But as time passed and nothing was found, people needed someone to put the blame on. So why not choose the most hated boy in town?

Jung Wooyoung.

He had nothing to lose anyways.

''You know the girl who disappeared? He probably took her. He's probably a little pervert. He probably got her locked up in her basement and uses her whenever he feels the urge to''

Comments like these were almost normalized in the small town. Something that didn’t sit right with one girl.

She couldn't understand what he ever did to be hated, even by his own mom. She'd seen him sleeping on a bench, outside an old and abandoned restaurant.

She felt bad for him. Her own family was of high status in the town. They were rich and donated a lot of money to the small hospital, the two schools and such.

Kim Jiwoo, the youngest in the whole family, had always been rather open minded. She never liked judging people by others words. She wanted to know him, not what everyone thought about him.

She sighed as she heard her "friends" talking about the boy once more. They weren't really her friends, they simply hung out with her because of money and status, and they never had anything kind to say about anyone but themselves and Jiwoo.

''Hey, do you actually think he keeps her in his basement?'' Ara asked in an amused tone, knowing very well that Wooyoung heard her.

''Yeah, of course he does'' Hana replied in even more amused tone as she noticed that Wooyoung posture changed slightly. ''He’s a pervert. He probably keeps her in the basement, has her way with her when he wants, and he probably keeps pictures of her in his phone and rubs one out while watching it''

''I hope he falls down a well and withers away, alone in the dark'' Ara finished before they both started cackling.

Jiwoo let out a tired sigh and turned around in her seat. ''Would both of you shut up? There's no concrete evidence that Wooyoung's done shit, and how would you feel if people spread a rumour about you murdering someone? Or raping? Or kidnapping?''

Minho, the quarterback smirked. He heard the whole conversation since he literally sat next to Jiwoo. Jiwoo'd just assumed that he never listened to them.

''Challenge accepted!''

Jiwoo turned to the boy. ''A) Did you just Barney Stinson me? B) What challenge?''

''I'm gonna steal Wooyoung's phone and prove that he's a pervert!''

Jiwoo sighed. She decided, for once, to take action instead of being all talk. So she stood up, in the middle of the teacher's introduction, and walked over to Wooyung's desk.

The corner in the back.

''Can I sit here?''

The boy looked up from the desk, on which he was currently carving a face, since no one cared what he did anyways. He looked confused. Why would someone wanna sit with him?

He mumbled a quiet ''sure'' and put away the knife and sat up straight.

He knew carrying a knife around and carving shit into the furniture didn't exactly support his attempt on proving himself innocent, but after a while he stopped caring about what everyone thought about him.

''Do you wanna hang out after school?'' Jiwoo asked, still that gorgeous, model smile on her lips.

Wooyoung felt a bit ashamed as he stared at her lips. He wondered what they’d feel like. What they’d taste like.

''Why would you wanna hang out with me?'' He asked and turned his attention back to his little carving.

Jiwoo shrugged. She didn’t know why. She was simply a social butterfly. And he intrigued her.

''I like being social. You intrigue me for some reason, and you’re the only person in the school who doesn’t kiss my ass for status and money ''

''Well, sorry little miss daddy's Princess, but that ain’t gonna happen, ever''

The girl realized how it sounded. ''No! I didn’t mean it like that. I like that you don’t do it. To be honest, I don’t really have any real friends''

Wooyoung let out a sarcastic laugh. ''Oh yeah? Couldn’t daddy’s money buy you some?''

That was it for Jiwoo. Here she was, being as nice as humanly possible when you don’t know someone, especially when there’s a rumor that he’d murdered someone and another one stating that he’d kidnapped and raped a five year old girl.

She always tried to keep the judgement low, or non-existent. But anyone would be kind of concerned with a murder rumour. She thought she was doing a great job at being nice, yet he treated her like a piece of shit.

''Listen here you fucking asshole, I came over here to try and be nice. I wanted to prove to the town that you’re not some weirdo, kidnapping rapist, but apparently you hate everyone, and I can’t judge you, but I have never done shit to you. In fact, when we were in 4th grade, I beat up Dae for bullying you, but fuck you''

Jiwoo started packing up her stuff to go back to her other desk. They both knew all eyes were on them since Jiwoo’s outburst wasn’t the most silent person in the universe.

Wooyoung cursed himself for being such an asshole. It was a habit at this point. If someone tried being nice, his defense mechanism would turn on. He just assumed no one ever wished him well.

He grabbed her arm. ''Look, I’m sorry. You’re right. It’s just… with everyone being nice to me, and then shoving me down a well or similar, it’s hard accepting when someone’s being genuine''

Yes, it had actually happened. Wooyoung was seven and his "best friend" had asked him to come to his house and hang out. He did, and his "best friend" shoved him into a well. In which he had to lay in for three hours, crying his eyes out.

The girl smiled. She could accept that as an apology. And it seemed quite logical what he said. Survival instincts.

She sat back down and smiled. ''So, do you wanna hang out? My dad’s pulling out his ugly old barbecue. When he cooks, there’s enough to feed the whole town. I promise, if they do anything that makes you uncomfortable, you can leave ''

The boy thought about it. ''Sure, uhm, but I gotta do one thing before we go to yours''

Whispers followed his reply. People were sure that Jiwoo pranked him, that she only asked him out of pity, or because she had a bigger plan. All were wrong. She genuinly wanted to get to know the man.

The boy intrigued her, so she acted on it. And to be fair, he was ridiculously good-looking under the black hood.

As the class went on, Jiwoo couldn't be more bored. ''Does anyone know the answer to question 10?'' The teacher looked at the class.

Wooyoung raised his hand, something Jiwoo'd seen him do a lot, but he never got to answer since the teachers seemed to hate him just as much as the students.

''No one?'' The teacher asked, his gaze avoiding Wooyung's corner.

''1939'' Wooyoung said out loud, tired of being ignored.

''Don't speak unless I tell you to!'' The teacher snapped in a rude tone.

Wooyoung rolled his eyes and sunk back down in his seat. ''Asshole'' He mumbled under his breath, causing Jiwoo to chuckle.

While Wooyoung packed up his stuff Minho passed by their desk. It confused them both since he sat in the front.

Without missing a beat Minho snatched Wooyoung's phone from the table and rushed out of the classroom. Jiwoo cursed the fact that Minho was the quarterback. He literally got the position because he could run.

Wooyoung let out a quiet sigh and slung his bag over his shoulder. Jiwoo copied his actions. ''Let's get your phone back, eh?''

''Uhm, I can survive without it''

''Wuss, I'll do it. Let's go''

They headed out of the classroom and spotted everyone in the hallway, gathered around the tall quarterback.

Jiwoo let out a quiet sigh. She walked up to Minho, after pushing her way through the small crowd. She tapped him harshly on the shoulder. When he turned around Jiwoo quickly withdrew her arm and punched the boy in the face as hard as she could.

A small crunch was heard and Wooyoung's phone dropped, right into Jiwoo's expecting hands.

''Don't take things that aren't yours'' Jiwoo smiled sweelty and threw Wooyoung his phone.

Wooyoung pointed behind her. Jiwoo turned around and spotted the quarterback charging at her. ''Why does he have to make things so difficult? Hold this, love'' She handed Wooyoung her bag.

Wooyoung froze for a short moment. Jiwoo called him "Love".

Minho stopped before her and stared down at her. ''Listen here Kim-''

''No, you listen her Park, you've been an asshole since the day I met you. You've never been nice to anyone but your minions, you've never treated Wooyoung as a person. My parents basically run this town, my dad's a lawyer, my mom's... important, let's see who wins?''

Minho fell silent and stared at the very short, yet fiesty girl. ''Well... fuck off''

''Now to the rest of you assholes, did you find a single picture of anything? Any proof? Anything?''

No one said anything.

''That's what I thought!''

''He had a picture of you!''

Jiwoo slowly turned around and looked at Wooyoung. He looked horrified. ''Can I see?''

Wooyoung unlocked his phone and handed it over to Jiwoo. She scrolled through his cameraroll and found two pictures of her. One in the dining hall where she sat alone, side profile towards him as the sun came through thw window, and one of her lauhging about... whatever.

''I look amazing- wow'' Jiwoo mumbled and zoomed in on herself. ''Be gone, idiots! I see no harm in these'' She handed the phone back to the owner. ''Let's head to mine then, loverboy''

''Jiwoo! You coming?'' Ara and Hana asked and turned to their friend. They were planning to hang out earlier, but she wasn't too excited about that anymore.

''No, I'm gonna hang out with Wooyoung'' The girl replied without even looking at her two friends.

The two girls scoffed and looked at the boy. ''Why? He's a kidnappeing pervert''

''So? Do any of you have any proof, whatsoever, of anything? I'm heading out with him, bye''

Wooyoung followed Jiwoo out to her car. His eyes widened. ''Holy fuck, that's a nice car''

A chuckle left the girl's lips. The laugh sounded like heaven to Wooyuong's ears. ''Well, get in. Where did you need to go?''

Wooyoung snapped out of his daydreaming and looked at the girl. ''Oh, uhm, just outside town. I do some charity work at a orphanage there''

Jiwoo smiled. ''You're such sweetheart''

The boy blushed. ''Well, I know how it is living without parents so.... yeah''

She smiled and started the car. Jiwoo drove and Wooyoung gave directions to the building.

When they stopped outside the daycare and Wooyoung got out, he was immediately ambushed by kids. He squatted down and held out his arms as the kids hugged him.

Jiwoo smiled as he spoke with each of them, asking about their day. ''Oppa, who's she? Is she your girlfriend?'' One of the small girls asked with a smirk.

Wooyoung turned around and looked at Jiwoo. ''No, she's a friend. Be nice to her''

A few of the kids immediately walked up to her and started introducing themselves with wide smiles. One girl in particular had a tight grip on Wooyoung's pant leg. She seemed very shy.

Jiwoo walked up her and squatted down in front of her. ''Hello, I'm Jiwoo. What's your name?''

She hid behind Wooyoung's tall frame. ''Uhm... Arin''

''Pretty name, fits perfectly for such a pretty girl'' Jiwoo said and smiled as sweetly as she possibly could.

Arin seemed to accept it and smiled. ''You're sp pretty, Unnie. Are you Oppa's girlfriend?''

''Just a friend I'm afraid''

The small toddler pouted. ''But you're so pretty!''

Jiwoo chuckled as she leaned closer to her. ''Can you keep a super secret secret?'' The girl nodded excitedly. ''Oppa is really handsome, but you can't tell him''

''I promise!'' She giggled and ran away.

The girl stood up straight and looked at Wooyoung, who was frozen in his spot.

Kim Jiwoo, the perfect dream girl, thought he was handsome? The town's misfit, the weirdo creep?

''You there Wooyoung?'' Jiwoo waved her hand in front of his face.

''Hm? Yeah''

''Ah! Wooyoung, right? Welcome!'' Chaeyoung greeted the boy happily as Jiwoo introduced them.

Wooyoung's eyes widened as she squeezed him in a tight hug. He looked at Jiwoo with a panicked look. No one had ever shown him this much love.

''Yah, eomma, you can't just hug people I bring home. Not everyone's comfortable with that!''

The woman immediately pulled away from the hug. ''I'm so sorry Wooyoung, it's just... Jiwoo's girlfriends are all... rude, and you seem to sweet''

The boy was still surprised, as well as confused. ''So you've not heard the rumours?''

''Yeah, well, I prefer creating my own opinion'' The woman smiled sweetly. ''Food will be on the table in a minute, unless your father screws it up again''

Jiwoo chuckled and led Wooyoung up to her room. Wooyoung only stood awkwardly in the door opening, as the only time he'd ever been at someone else's house was with an old "friend" who didn't allow him on the furniture, as if he was a dog.

''Sit wherever'' Jiwoo threw her school bag into her closet and closed it. She sat down on her bed, removed her shoes, and crossed her legs.

Wooyoung carefully sat down in her office chair. He wasn't sure what to do.

''So, tell me about you. I wanna get to know you! I doubt you're a kidnapper since you volunteer at the orphanage''

The boy chuckled. ''Well, uhm, there's not much to know about me. I'm homeless since my own mother hated that everyone knew her son, especially for something bad. I volunteered at the orphanage before that. Uhm, then the girl went missing and since everyone already hated me it was easy to put the blame on me. And yeah, the rest you know''

''You can stay here if you want. We have a spare bedroom'' Jiwoo offered with that same, sweet smile she always wore when she spoke to him.

Wooyoung didn't know what to think about it. He adored it. It made the girl even more beautiful, if that was even possible, but he also felt like she only acted like this out of pity.

''Look, if you're only doing this for some kind of Univeristy resume, or pity, or some kind of... attention from the whole town, just drop the act now and I'll never bother you again''

Wooyoung was ready for her to either lash out on him for "exposing" her, or laugh and throw him out, or continue her lie, but she didn't.

''I know you think I'm doing this out of pity. I know you only see me as some... rich daddy's girl, but I genuinly want to help you, and I really think you are sweet, if you want to at least. Carving faces into the wall works against you, but yeah''

The boy was stunned.

''And I didn't lie before, you are really handsome'' Jiwoo winked and smirked.

''Thanks'' He blushed slightly and pulled up his hood again.

Jiwoo chukled. ''You're a blushy one'' She teased and took out her phone. ''Give me your number''

Wooyoung was hesitant but did as requested. ''Why?''

''Kids! Food!''

''So we can hang out again'' Jiwoo said in a duh-tone.

Wooyoung made a quiet "ah" sound and quickly entered his number into her, much newer, phone. Jiwoo took Wooyoung's phone and did the same to his. She held it up and took a silly selfie before handing it back.

''Smile'' Jiwoo smiled and directed her phone camera to Wooyoung's face. The man did as requested and smiled. ''Pretty, now let's go eat''

''So, Jung Wooyoung, correct?'' Jiwoo's father, Changkyun, turned to the new face.

''Yes, sir''

Changkyun smiled. ''He called me Sir, I like this one!''

Jiwoo chuckled as she ate. Her father loved meeting new people. Especially if they looked up to him. He enjoyed the ego-boost.

''Well, how come you two are hanging ouy? Jiwoo only has mean friends, but you seem really sweet'' Changkyun asked bluntly.

Wooyoung let out an awkward laugh. ''Well, Sir, she sat with me in math. Why I have no idea''

''Because he was intriguing, and my friends are all assholes, might as well make some new ones. And he's the only one in school I haven't spoken to before''

Chaeyoung chuckled to herself. She enjoyed Wooyoung's company, and her daughter seemed to enjoy it as well.

''So, any girls, Wooyoung?'' Chaeyoung asked.

''Eomma!'' Jiwoo glared at her mother.

''Uhm, no ma'am, afraid all the girls in school hates me or are terrified of me, well, except Jiwoo apparently'' Wooyoung smiled sweetly.

Jiwoo looked at the boy with a sweet smile. Well, according to her mother it was "adoring". Chaeyoung was convinced her daughter had found her "one".

Jiwoo and Wooyoung finished their dinner and were quick to disappeared up to her room again.

Wooyoung cursed himself as he caught himself staring at Jiwoo's lips once more.

''Fuck her lips are pretty- even prettier when she smiles''

''I can see you staring'' Jiwoo chuckled and smiled. ''You got lip-fetisch, or what?''

''N-n-no! I just- your- I- your lips are pretty''

Jiwoo chuckled and sat down in front of him. ''Oh yeah? They're pretty?''

Wooyoung didn't know what to do. He was panicking on the inside while also keeping all his focus on Jiwoo's lips. She was so close. He could smell her sweet scent. He could see the glitter specks in her pink, cherry lipgloss.

''Wanna feel them? Or taste them?'' Jiwoo knew she was frisky. But she thought she'd picked up some... hint. A small, subtle nod. Jiwoo smiled again, that sweet, gorgeous smile. That smile Wooyuong had never seen, before she looked at him.

Her smile made him feel like the only person in the entire the world. Her smile made him feel like every problem he'd ever had had disappeared. Her smile made him lose his mind and not focus on anything but her.

Jiwoo chuckled and laid a hand on Wooyoung's shoulder. ''You sure? You don't have to kiss me unless you really want to''

''I- I-... I really want to kiss you, I'm just worried that you'll be let down by me doing... being, well, me''

''Come on, my first was Minho in our class, it's hard to let me down'' She laid a hand on Wooyoung's cheek. ''And who knows, maybe I'll let you down?''

''You could probably never let me down'' Wooyoung smiled weakly.

Jiwoo smiled and laid her small hand on his cheek. She leaned closer, slowly if Wooyoung wanted to back out. He didn't. Jiwoo pressed her lips against Wooyoung's.

Wooyoung might be new to this whole thing, altough he had his fair share of kisses, but he carefully wrapped his arms around Jiwoo's waist and pulled her into his lap.

A small smile rose to the girl's lips as she straddled him. She wrapped her arms around Wooyoung's broad shoulders and pulled him closer.

The man was touch-deprived, and slightly desperate. His hands landed on her hips and his thumbs automatically started rubbing circles on them.

Jiwoo parted her lips slightly, allowing Wooyoung to do as he pleased. Wooyoung accepted the invite and started exploring her mouth with his tongue.

A small, breathy moan left Jiwoo's lips. She was also, slightly, touch-deprived.

She pulled away and chuckled slightly. ''Someone's excited''

Wooyoung blushed and rested his forehead against Jiwoo's shoulder. ''You're mean''

''Yet here you are, without your pent up walls''

''For you only''

[princesspastel8]

Chapter 65

Third POV

Police sirens can be heard, getting closer and closer to the home. The three go back to Eboni's room and climb down the window. Just as they were about to book it into the forest, a sound of a gun clocking. The three turn around, Eboni forced behind Jeff.

"Years, I waited. Fucking waited for this moment."

Eboni peeks around Jeff, sighing heavily. "....Michael? Really? How did you -"

"No one believed a word I said! I knew it was you that killed them, but I know you had help - and motive. Then we came across that kid you claimed raped you. Maaaaaaan, that was something gruesome! Smith still wouldn't listen to me! So I rain off, trusted my gut - now here we are!"

"Damn... you talk too much." BEN grumbles, rolling his eyes.

Jeff claps sarcastically, grinning. "Well, good job, dectivite! I bet this shit is feeding your ego juuuuust right - huh?" The smiling killer mocks.

"Yeah, keep smiling. I'm gonna have the last laugh! And you..." Michael trails off, glaring daggers at Eboni. "I knew you had a few screws loose. A crazy bitch like you should've been locked away in a mental institution ages ago!"

That is enough to make Jeff frown. He steps forward, making the male place a finger over his trigger. "I don't give a shit what you say about me, but you better watch your fucking mouth when it comes to what's mine."

Michael raises a brow, tilting his head. "Well, this just keeps getting better, huh!? I'll get to take away someone you care about - just like how you did me!"

Jeff stares at the male for a moment, huffing. "Gonna have to be more specific here. I have a lot of victims." He chuckles.

At this point, Micheal's face becomes red with anger. "You... YOU KILLED MY BROTHERS!"

Jeff picks at his ear, looking at BEN - the demon shrugging, not having a clue who this guy is still. "Ok? What makes you so fucking special?"

"Does the name Justin ring any bells?" Micheal questions, enjoying Jeff's reaction. "Yeah... yeah, the one you claimed bullied you alongside Spencer! You killed them... Then, after you escaped that psych ward, you killed my parents! YOU TOOK MY FAMILY AWAY FROM ME!"

"No...no I gave them peace. But Justin?" Jeff begins to laugh, eyes now bloodshot with rage. "He played a part in making me. Freeing me even! Why are you playing dumb? Trying to seek revenge for the guilt you feel? You wish you were with them that day? To save them or to die with them? Doesn't matter to me - you'd just be another victim."

Just as Jeff said that, police cars surround them. BEN curses under his breath. He's not supposed to be seen in the public, let alone known. Sure, many know of his existence and back, sorry- but there's never been any evidence to make up many claims. If any of these cops have dash cams, then it can lead to a serious problem with slenderman.

"And you'll just be another inmate on death row!"

Eboni quickly pulls out her gun, annoyed with Michael's threats. There's no way she's losing the freedom she finally gained thanks to Jeff. Just as Eboni aims her gun, a shot rings through the air. She cries out, dropping her gun and holding her shoulder in pain.

Jeff's eyes seem to bug out of his head. The two locks eyes, Eboni's drowning in pain & fear. This isn't how their Christmas is supposed to go. They're supposed to be back at the slender mansion by now. So Jeff looks at BEN for help, but he's let down and also taken aback. Michael has the watering holes, spraying the demon with water.

Michael laughs mockingly. "Not so tuff now, huh? You thought I didn't do enough research? Myth or not, I wasn't taking any chances."

Jeff lost sight of reason and raises his fist to try and punch Micheal, but Mr. Smith shoots Jeff in both of his legs. The killer stumbles but refuses to fall, so Smith & three other officers jump on him, keeping Jeff pinned to the ground and hand cuffs them.

"Jeff!- get the fuck off me!" Eboni shouts, trying to shake the two cops holding her down.

The two share a look of distress. Slenderman should know what's happening. He should be here by now, their back in his jurisdiction. There's no way he's decided to disregard them due to them leaving his bubble of protection? But Eboni's his next project. He can't be this far ahead to see that Eboni will only listen to Jeff - right?

No matter. Jeff will figure something out. He always does - he has to. He can't look defeated in front of her. She's watching his every move, every reaction. Any slight change in his face will make her piece together, his thoughts racing in panic. So what does Jeff do?

He gives her his signature smile.

"Smile princess." He instructs, earning his face to be shoved into the ground.

"Get off of him! Don't do that - Jeff!"

Jeff forces his face up despite the strength of the officer trying to force it back down. "I said smile, princess!" He laughs loudly, snickering in between.

Eboni watches, tears filling her eyes. But she smiles. This time, this short time spent free with Jeff has been the best moment of her life - the best day of her entire existence. Eboni is devoted to Jeff, so no matter what's to come- she will keep her loyalty to him. Nothing can sway her, but if... someone - something can -

"You have the right to remain silent! Anything you say can and will be used against you in the court of......la- bah!"

Suddenly, all the weight holding the two lovebirds are lifted, followed by the sound of fearful screams and loud gunfire. Jeff stays on the ground due to the flying bullets but crawls over to Eboni. He places half of his weight on top of her to shield her, raising his head to asset what's happening.

His eyes widen at the sight. A being standing ten feet tall, grey gasly skin, glowing red eyes, black horns that seem to glow based on the ceatures mood, razor sharp teeth, pony ears, and sharp claws- reaching six inches. This being is also dressed in a suit similar to Slenderman's, but a few buttons are undone, and his tie is low but still together.

The creature continues its bloodbath, ripping through the officers like pieces of raw meat. It truly is a sight to see. Though, the huge question is lingering within Jeff's mind. Just what the hell is Zalgo doing here? The demon king turns to Micheal, licking the blood off his claws with its long slippery tongue - stretching six inches.

"You humans all have different flavors. All based on your final rush of emotions. Fear, anguish, desperation - but the one I favor the most is rage. The hot, steamy taste of rageful blood has a nice spicy tang to it, don't you think?"

Michael is trembling, having witnessed his colleagues being torn to shreds - but he won't show fear, at least on his face. He aims his gun at Zalgo, emptying the clip. A laugh leaves the beast, one low yet mixed with different pitches & voices. The demon king stretches his arm, his claws digging deep into Michael's stomach.

The male cries out as he lifts from the ground, blood pouring out of his mouth. The creature brings him itches from his face, his tongue licking down his cheek to his throat.

"Such fire, Michael. Hope you taste just as good!"

Zalgo would then bite the male's head off, swallowing it whole. He drops the corpse, licking his claws clean. The demon king then turns his attention to BEN, laughing at his pitiful state.

"I question why you went to Slenderman instead of living with your own kind, BEN." Zalgo sighs, using fire from the palm of his hand to dry the water quickly.

When dried enough, BEN quickly glitches away, helping Jeff & Eboni off the ground. She stares at the being, not having a clue who nor what it may be. She whimpers, clenching her shoulder. The bullet lodged in her shoulder. Zalgo moves to step forward, but Jeff is quick to pull out his knife and shield his girl.

"Step the fuck back.", the smiling killer warns.

"Or what? Gonna attack me with your wittle bitty knife? Oh goodness, I'm terrified!" Zalgo mocks, laughing.

Jeff grinds his teeth together, about to lung forward, but Zalgo holds his hands up in mock surrender. "Relax, kid! Jeez, I'm not here for you. I'm here for the girl."

Eboni's eyes widen, trying to look over Jeff. "Me? What hell you want with me? What even are you? Who are you?"

"Soooooooooo many questions, but fine - I'll humor you. I'm Zalgo! The demon king, or Lord. Either is fine - you may have heard the saying 'He comes. He who hides behind the walls.' " He grins.

"Hold on...as in -"

"Yes, yes. My two useless daughters. I am aware that you are acquainted with them. In fact, that's when I took an odd interest in you." He hums, tilting his head.

The demon king notices how still reluctantly the three are to speak, so he sighs heavily. "Perhaps I should present myself in a more friendly form."

Zalgo begins to shapeshift. His height lowers to six five, grayish gasly skin now a pale yet tanned shade. One eye is a normal oval green while the other is inky black with red irises. His nails are painted black, hair a burgundy red, markings on his throat that resemble a choker, rings littering his fingers, and piercings in his ears. He's still dressed in a suit, though this time a vest instead of a suit jacket. Eboni has to admit that he does look fairly attractive for a psychotic demon king.

"Now. Let's talk."

"What the fuck do you want with my girl?", Jeff questions with clenched teeth.

"As stated before, I'm interested in her. Not in the way you're thinking, lover boy. Still surprised you let a mere thing make her make you all soft."

"Zalgo, I'm not in the mood for your shit! Get to talking or -"

"You used to be all for shits and giggles. Jeez, you literally have a smile on your fa-"

"I didn't do that shit myself, and you know it!"

"Struck a nerve, I guess."

Eboni rubs her hand up and down Jeff's back, hoping to calm him. She turns her attention back to the demon king. "I'm nothing special, at least not to someone with high power."

"Oh, but you are, child! Slenderman has been dying to get his hands on you. God, could you just imagine the look on his face when I take you right from under him!?"

"He can't - He's faceless, dipshit."

Zalgo raises a brow, placing a hand on his chin and tilting his head. "My my...you are feisty. Just like your mo-"

"Get on with it, Zalgo. We're all exhausted after today!" BEN snaps quickly, confusing the two.

The demon lord puts two and two together, bursting into a fit of laughter. "Alright, alright. It's not my place to say anyway, but it will be if you accept what I have to offer."

"Which is?" Eboni questions, Jeff giving her a look of warning, but she shrugs it off - doubting she'll even ponder on it.

"Work under me. You know the jest- kill, collect souls - blah blah blah. You get a place to stay, anything you want I'd give you."

"What's the catch?"

"A catch? Oh kid, there isn't one! All I want are souls."

"Don't shit me. I'm not some stupid bitch. What is it that you want from me in return? When deals sound to good to be true, there's always a catch - hidden within the fine print or in your words."

"Oooooooooooo! You're a smart one! Fine, fine! It's nothing too big - nothing major. All I want is your soul."

"What!?" Jeff shouts, now fuming again. "Fuck no! She's mine! She only answers to me! Eboni belongs to me!"

Zalgo laughs, shaking his head. "Cute declaration!" He snaps his fingers, Jeff's lips disappear. "But I don't think I asked for your opinion."

"Jeff!" Eboni shouts, trying to keep him from lunging at Zalgo and scratching at his face. Thankfully, BEN steps in and holds Jeff down, using his powers as best he can to keep him at bay.

"I'll allow you to still see your boy toy or whatever he is to you - hehe, look at him squirming on the ground like a worm - anyways!" He holds out his hand, a contract and a feather pin floating in front of Eboni. "Just sign on the dotted line, and all will be w-"

"No."

"No?"

Zalgo is quick to transform back, towering over her but lowering his face down to be itches from hers. "NO!?"

Eboni gags, covering her mouth and taking a step back. To say Zalgo is surprised that the girl didn't even flinch is an understatement. After everything Eboni has gone through , a Demon king is the least frightening thing she's had to face. Despite what this being is capable of, the girl encountered plenty of monsters to know how to deal with frightening situations.

"Yeah, no. My da... Jeff is right. I only answer to him. My entire being belongs to him. And since he doesn't work under you, then I can't either. I go where Jeff goes. He leads. I follow."

Hearing this, Jeff's temper fizzles down. BEN let's him go, and Jeff springs to his feet, taking Eboni into his arms. He glares daggers at Zalgo, backing away quickly. The demon king watches on, his eye twitching but smile stretching.

"No one... has ever said no to me, except one." He laughs wickedly, eyeing BEN who hangs his head low in shame - something the two didn't notice.

Zalgo buttons up his shirt and fixes his tie, eyeing Eboni as he did so. "And that one unfortunately paid with her life. You're just as smart as her, as witty and even more beautiful. Shame, such a shame!"

The creature begins walking off, pausing mid-step, turning around to look Eboni dead in her eyes - the look chilling her, yet she still feels no fear.

"Such a shame you'll succumb to the same fate as your mother.", and with that, Zalgo disappears into the night.

[rosquinn]

Hi Roski! I have a question, would you mind to help, please?

Okay, so the other when I was wandering through the shelves of my local library I found our that they have a copy of Madeline's Miller Circe... And I was thinking that maybe I should give it a try? 😅

I know that it's not mythology accurate but as long as the plotline is well-written... Idk maybe I will enjoy in spite of it 🤷🏻‍♀️ Do you is it a good idea?

I just wanted to know if you believe is worth the time or nor

Also, same goes for Achilles's song. They don't have it at the library, but I thought that if I enjoyed Circe I should try it to? 🤔

i used to be a huge madelline miller fan *vaguely gestures at her short story about galatea i still have in my bookshelf for some reason* but i realized she, well, uh, sucks

it's not about her writing, (it's excessively "poetic" and decorated in my opinion but that's subjective) it's that her interpretations are kind of. bad?

i'm gonna elaborate under the cut about why i don't like her (long rant and tw for *mentions of s/a*)

-she victimizes her female main character and makes her go through traumatic experiences to erase and excuse all the bad stuff she's done... "circe turned odysseus' men into pigs bc they tried to assault her" yeah. no. she forced odysseus to sleep with her and turned his men into pigs because she felt like it. i understand you want a feminist badass witch but just. no. she isn't a cute uwu unfairly exiled goddess. what she did to odysseus is sexual abuse.

-she apparently hates women that aren't circe. made thetis, i repeat, our thetis, MOTHER thetis, a homophobic and overprotective mom who wants to kill patroclus in SOA for some reason (wasn't she literally the one who sent patroclus to the war with achilles..... miller..aren't you a classics major..). she did to her what other adaptations do to demeter, basically. and for no reason at all. but i guess her cute baby achilles who is doomed by the narrative can't have a nice mom who let him do whatever he wanted to because that would make him RUDE and EVIL and her character(s) can't have bad qualities. she also made achilles's wife, deidameia, who in some versions is raped by him, a “slut that gets in the way of your gay ship” archetype. she also made her rape achilles for some reason??? and that is fucking horrible

-baby-fied patroclus. he speaks like a stupid teenager girl stereotype in soa and is pretty much a useless human being whose entire personality is simping for achilles. that is not him. he DID fight in the trojan war, he was a SKILLED fighter, not a useless twig, he is described as tall and handsome, he healed some warriors, he is SAVAGE, bro literally broke kebriones's head with a rock in front of his brother and made fun of it??? he tried to climb the walls of troy and conquer it by himself??? he told achilles to stop being a bitch and move his ass??? and then in soa he's a useless piece of shit who DIDN'T EVEN FIGHT IN THE WAR, thinks of himself as weak and was thinking about achilles until the moment he died. sorry to break it to you but his last words in the iliad weren't "omg achilles no😥😥". he threw a whole essay at hector about how he didn't kill shit, it was apollo who beat him and hector's about to get dragged. and when his ghost came back to talk to achilles, it was to tell him to STOP CRYING and KILLING PEOPLE and BURN HIS BODY ALREADY. she completely erased his character. sorry.

-glorified achilles wayyy too much. one thing that i hate about her is how she can't let anyone make mistakes. achilles isn't “noble and doomed by the narrative”. he knew pretty well where he was stepping in and didn't give two shits. he literally says in Iliad book 1 he's there for the mass murder, glory and nothing more. “why would i kill hector what has hector ever done to me” MY ASS. he also was kind of an insufferable bitch in the iliad. i'm tired of people making his decision of stop fighting look “heroic/noble/tragic/etc bc agamemnon is evil” because it was not. he stopped fighting for selfish reasons, treated everyone really bad and let his friends die. also, agamemnon isn't “evil” and achilles isn't “good”. they're both war criminals who act like 8 year olds and kidnap women. every achaean character is a bitch, has killed at least 6 people and enjoyed it. yes. even babyboy patroclus (book 16)

-i'm not even saying this as a person with greek ancestry or a pagan, because i am neither, but her depiction of the gods is TERRIBLE. just what is that whole thing of "gods want mortals to fear them so they worship them"??? that's not even how religion works??? gods can be and in fact are very nice to their worshippers?? why would you villainize cultural figures like that?? and why tf it always gotta be a EVIL FEMALE GODDESS trying to fuck up her main character's life for some reason?? athena wants to kill circe's son in circe and i'm pretty sure they don't even interact in the odyssey?? (maybe they did, i don't remember, but if it happened it was definitely NOT because of that) and why is hermes a manipulator?? and why is ODYSSEUS a manipulator??? you literally sexually assaulted him??? HELLO????

idk, it just feels like mc victimization and random female character villainization (she also put the whole blame of the trojan war on helen because she was “vain” and “selfish”??? didn't she spend the whole iliad blaming herself for the war and wishing to die??)

i don't really like it. it's not a good adaptation

also i'm not the best person to expand on this topic because i am not a gay man/mlm/nblm but some people on tumblr have explained why tsoa is basically mlm fetish and wattpad fujoshi looking crap and they do have a point (the relationship is so stereotyped tbh) so i encourage you to read their posts. i don't have them rn but i can dm them to you later if you want

AND finally, most people in her fanbase can't separate a wattpad fanfic (because that's what tsoa is) from the original text and think tsoa and circe are just like what homer wrote. “hector didn't know it was patroclus” HE FUCKING DID PATROCLUS KILLED 20 PEOPLE IN FRONT OF HIM IT'S UNDERSTANDABLE “patroclus died bc he wasn't a skilled warrior” HE HAS THE SECOND HIGHEST KILL COUNT IN THE WHOLE ILIAD AND WAS FULL OF HUBRIS. HE DIED BECAUSE HE TRIED TO FISTFIGHT A GOD “deidameia raped achilles” “thetis is homophobic” “odysseus is evil” “it was all helen's fault” “circe did nothing wrong” “athena is bad” no (and they act like not shipping patrochilles makes you homophobic which is. cmon. i personally think they def had something going on but it's never explicitly stated and you can't act like it is)

ik i got too aggressive but it's just bad imo, if you want to enjoy a good iliad/odyssey adaptation go play hades or listen to epic the musical or even play limbus company because i swear lc's odysseus, a literal old woman who committed identity fraud, is at least 80 times more in character than miller's babyboys

ADDITION: no i'm not going to dismember you for liking tsoa or circe. this is just a personal opinion. enjoy whatever you want i'm just a little guy and i can't stop you. have fun!

[psaiouma]

Cupid's Writing Diary - 2/8/25

Entry End of Day February 8th, 2025 (dear god it's 5:45 am on the 9th rn) (this one's a rambling one, sorry)

Took a break for a couple of days because, whew, my emotional state is hashtag bad. I get a lot of dumb, mean anon comments all the time [it's why my fic comment moderation is on registered users only, if you can't take it, you're not allowed to dish it xoxo] (like seriously I made this Tumblr what?? Two weeks ago? And I've already gotten 3. Not to mention the anon that was following me onto other people fics asking me to write rape fics.) And even though this most recent was was extreme nothingburger of an insult, it was still something that affected me personally due to my own projections onto Shuichi.

WHEW okayyyy I just typed out four VERY long paragraphs talking about this insult I got and y'know what? It's very stupid and I do not wish to give the completely ignorant and incorrect anon any sort of energy.

Anyway, though, due to my absolutely ass sleep schedule, the ever looming threat of needing to get a job again, and my personal disdain for certain aspects of my life... writing is juuust not fucking happening.

That is, however, until irls got inspired to write again and needed a party! So, I got to hang out with my besties from high school and I wrote over 2k words, which felt incredible. I'm so fucking speedy when I wanna be. 'Cause all that was over the course of an hour.

I'm fleshing out Chapter 2 of Snautism very well!!! And I finally have a direction I want to take things in. I keep changing my mind on everything but that's the price I pay for wanting to do a spontaneous fic about snakes. I do miss the days where I just wrote and didn't care about the end result as much. But I like that everything I make is at a quality that I respect. Writing should always be for yourself, but I am a perfectionist neurodivergent who would rather die than have two sentences in the same paragraph start with 'he', y'know?

On top of the anon, I just remembered tat I had sent my fic to my friends just for entertainment purposes but oops they both thought it was being sent over for a beta and so they beta'd it and aaaaa they have a lot of changes suggested sobs sobs sobs. Plus, I'm debating on switching POVs for certain parts, or making it third person omni, which might be the play here and I haven't done for a while. However that's not what I've got like over 5k words of oops. Very distinct POV switches.

Regardless, today was AWESOME and I wrote and I got to hang out with friends and god I'm so addicted to quizzes. Does anyone else's friend group have an OBSESSION with quizzes??? We take anything our grubby little hands can get on. It started with me doing anime op quizzes with my roommate/bestie and now we've got the whole squad doing vocaloid and pokemon and video game music quizzes and grrrrr I LOVE quizzes.

... this has been a very off topic writing diary but I promise it all connects. I'm just saying being around that company inspired me to write. Because EVERYONE was writing.

Okay. My roommate is about to wake up. It's almost 6am. Probably going to sleep until 2pm ugh. I was tired at like midnight why didn't I just go to bed??? Anyway, that's why this diary entree is so WEIRD but yeah Snautism happening. Very stoked about it. Moreso for it to be done so I can pick the next thing. Ooo! Maybe I can have people vote on the next fic since I'm doing this 'focus on it until it's done' thinig. When Snautism is over, I'll make a list and pin it for people who care to keep track of -nods nods-

Nighty fuckin' night don't be like me, kids. And also holy shit FUCK my 'i' key I REALLY need to fix it I've been editing so hard because it either skips or double presses pissing me OFF.

,,,, I type like Greg Heffley,,, save me.

[xeno6277]

So, I'm just gonna say this and What happens with it does.

I've been transmasc for several years. Originally realizing I was not cis at 14 and then coming out at nobinary transmasc at 19. I medically started at 20. And a consistent thing that I think no other transmasc is talking about is

Cw// transphobia, SA, SA threats. Misogyny/misandry, transmisogyny.

Women have been the WORST for transphobia.

Like I am LAUGHING at some of the stuff cis men will call me because it's just plane ridiculous. Most of them can only muster a rape threat or seven.

But that white lady that misgendered me while I was at my job will always have my ever lasting distain. She misgenders me then I corrected her then she said, "well you have such a feminin face and voice," and then proceeded to tell me EVERY little thing about me that was a "give away" most of it ONLY pretending to her because most people have lives.

Like these women will come into stores KNOWING I'll get in trouble if I retaliate in any way.

The other reaction I get which is not much better is fetishization. Because I "know how it is" I don't know how it is. Or "It's hot that you have boobs and a vagina. You don't need to transition" like uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Please don't say that to me while I'm crying form dysphoria and contemplating the big die.

Unfortuantly trans women are included in this and it is 1000xs more painful when they do it. The last trans woman. I was in a relationship with knew I was ace and deeply traumatized. She SA'd me and my now partner anyway. She also was planning to get my pregnant. Something that will kill me physically and in every other way imagined. I told her how much pregnacy would ruin my life and probably kill me. She didn't care. She saw me have full blown meltdowns. She saw me have flashbacks to my brother assaulting me. Held me during them. Then assaulted me.

The worst part is. This isn't the frist trans woman to try and do this shit. And my story isnt unccomon among trans men. And if I tell people about this one of the words out of their mouth is to not tell people about it becuase I'm giving ammunition for TERFS.

Fuck you. If this is you mother fucker. ESPCIALLY IF YOUR CIS.

I want to make sure that people know: This happens because they never deconstructed the belief that other people's bodies are not automatically theirs because she wanted them. Most trans women DO deconstruct this in my experience.

Unfortunately I have been apprehensive to approach anyone else in the lgbtq+. Because of this werid hierarchy that people created they want to immediately believe ANYTHING a transwoman says and fuck anyone else.

She got arrested after we called the cops on her for beating and screaming at us late into the night. 8 police calls and reports. She tired to kill my best friend I've ever had.

The judge literally let her go with just a slap on the wrist. Community service they got out of doing and a $100 fine. Not a $1000. $100 they didn't even pay they got someone else too.

They allowed a violent rapist walk free. Because they still passed as a white man they got white male privilege.

I don't know if I can deal with talking about this in person with other trans people and being grilled because they don't believe me. It's the same reason I'm probably deleating this. I have to just get it out.

I have had a TRANS NURSE at the frist informed concent clinic I went to, to get hrt. Have the nerve to ask me, "why do you wanna be a man, they're gross and suck." Like bitch that shit wasn't funny when it came out of terfs in 2014 it isn't funny now. For the past 4 years it feels like transwomen and 2014 terfs melted togeather. It become disheartening. The worst part is when they tell you that you basically deserve all this abuse because you "choose to be man"

Yeah I choose to transition and live the rest of my life and not jump off a bridge and drown. What a CHOICE!

Oh and GOD forbid you bring ANY of these double standards to their attention. They will go on for HOURS about how I apparently have more privileges than them.

So I guess trans women have to worry about someone grabbing them, raping them. Them getting pregnant and having to go through an abortion-oh wait that's becoming more outlawed in the US where I reside. Hmm.

Having to go through a painful ordeal that will DRAIN THEIR WALLETS. Will perminatlly alter their bodies that might make them so dysphroic they kill themselves. If not the birthing process will more than likely take care of that.

I bring this up to trans women and its like deer in headlights. They aren't even thinking of us. One even telling me that she "forgot not every trans man had that part removed"

IVE MET ONLY 2 TRANS MEN WHO HAD THAT "PART" REMOVED.

I've been pressured on my OWN side blog I have FOR TRANSMASCS AND NON BINARY PEOPLES EXPERINCES, To in some way represent trans/cis women on that. But the second we even ask for rep on trans/cis women's accounts and YouTubes. It's too much. The second we ask to be included in stuff we're overstepping.

Trans men and nonbinary people are not "invisable" were actively silenced.

I've felt nothing but bytral by women my entire life. And it has not gotten any better. I understand that nobody owes me but don't expect people to treat yall with respect when you won't give it.

[astrologicaldiary]

Aries north node transit and Libra south node transit : Scary Enlightment and Revolution (hopefully....)

Sooo....Ummm, some of the so-called astrologers didn't really talk about the significance of these node transits. I have always wanted to talk about this topic, but there are some reasons:

-Life has LIFING

-There are so many genocides happening everywhere!

-The government leaders are preparing us to be a Hunger Games society by pushing out laws to imprison and control us. I guess nobody isn't being mad enough to go FRENCH!

-Sending out our taxes to fund genocides!

There is so much shit happening, and I'm a human being and I feel like I want to make a change but these evil entities are limiting it and violating our basic human rights.

I'm going to explain about these two nodes, and you can see how it's relate to current circumstances. FYI, I'm not a professional astrologer but I'm a learner and a curious being.

Currently, we have a north node transit in Aries. I thought that I would like this energy but I'm thinking that it's kind of scary. As you can see, there are too many wars happening in our countries that is very cruel and evil. In these conflicts, there is a lot of abuse that is happening to innocent civilians and some of to leave home. And in Congo , sadly some women were raped violently. This is a very traumatic time for everyone in the middle of the attack. I mean we see that our so-called powerful nations are in support of these attacks and seems like they don't want to stop the attacks anytime soon ! To me , I'm like how many more bloodsheds do we have to witness....Right now, it has overpassed the limit.

I guess the positive side of this, is that true and genuine human beings are fighting back! People are protesting, donating, and spreading awareness about what's going on. Some are going out their ways to disturb government officials at their homes and gatherings, AND AS THEY SHOULD!

You are silent about the genocides occuring but seeing how much our taxes are being used and sending it to a terrorist state that is killing innocent people and they are proud of it! Yeah, stop using my money!

A lot of people are being hopeful and creating ways to be heard to make a change. If you are doing whatever you can, I love you, and I know that it's tiring, but please don't lose hope. These people who are living in terror need our voices even more NOW!

With the Libra south node transit, this has manifested as people separating themselves from political parties, as you can see we see in the government of those who disagree with GenocideJoe. I saw the clip of the State of the Union, some weren't even applauding for that devil. And the government is trying to away women's right to control their bodies...

There are a few that is calling out celebs for being silent and not saying a word! There were a few that went to a charity as a photo opp just to show that they care about the cause...but if you aren't dumb, clearly it's a publicity stunt! I can't even listen to "Break My Soul" anymore...I know that B is a talented woman, but I'm honestly disappointed in her the most because she was on this trend of black liberation. But I'm not surprised either because we saw her speech she did on Instagram for BLM when an innocent black man named George Floyd was unalived by a cop, her speech was a bit off. It was almost like she wasn't connected, and it seemed like she was reading off a paper and she was very silent about what was happening in Nigeria... I guess it's fair to say that these celebs like her only care about their capital and their brand so much! But what I do is that when you die, that money and fame aren't going to be with in the grave! Some fans are stupid and delusional, and willing to side with celebs but if shit hit the fan, these celebs aren't even going to look our way!

And with this south node transit, we are seeing people not wanting to unite. Clearly, it's a very divided time. Even among social activists, there was some drama on TikTok. There's a hero name Angie who created a #CoffeeRevolution as a way to meet other open-minded individuals in person and make plans to better our communities and make a positive change. But there were other people who disagree and feared that they might end up meeting FBI agents or they didn't feel comfortable meeting strangers from the internet... I'm like we will never be free or seek change because of this shit! Now, I understand, but sooner or later we gonna have to leave social media and meet on the streets. And now I'm hearing that New York subways are under surveillance by national guards...And TiKTOK might be banned soooo... we gonna have to meet up regardless.

And we are seeing these dangerous laws to silence us and ignoring the genocides. And we see that most of the politicians are sponsored by a group called AIPAC so it makes sense why we can speak or say that terrorist state name! Oh, and we saw how they used western media to weaponize people that went against them about their actions. It seems like 9/11 when the media was spewing hate saying that Muslims are terrorists and bad guys! But all know who are truly the terrorists now...

I'm not really fucking with these node transits at all...But hopefully with Pluto in Aquarius, it could bring so positivity and make our world a better place.

[some-pers0n]

You do realize Ao3 is inherently a proship space, right? Like one of the people who created it was an incest shipper. I'm not even saying you HAVE to like all content that's on ao3, but getting upset when people on ao3 related forums are talking about the things that ao3 was built for and refuses to censor is nonsensical

Okey now on my PC so I can actually respond to this in a coherent manner. General TW here for talking about pornography relating to minors and sexual topics.

I've seen this argument countless of times from pro-shippers. I do understand it. I know about the history of Ao3. It's mostly a space used because of areas like FanFiction.Net censoring 18+ works and generally leaving way for sexuality of any kind being censored for being deemed too mature, including same-sex couples at some point.

I am not anti-censorship. Not in the slightest. I think there should be sites like Ao3, where people are allowed to post whatever the hell they want. It's the site full of Freaks and Weirdos. It's the place where Freaks and Weirdos made to host their own freaky and weird content because everywhere else was censoring the word "dick". Censorship is a slippery slope and I think it's bad to simply say: "We should ban this" since it leads way to loopholes that our oppressors would want to exploit.

That being said: it's still disgusting to see people making and posting writing of IRL children who had been forced into the limelight have porn made of them. "Oh it's the internet of course it's going to be there" IT'S STILL FUCKED UP THAT IT'S THERE TO BEGIN WITH AND SHOULDN'T BE ENCOURAGED OR CONGRATULATED. It's like seeing somebody make deep-fake porn out of a picture of a child and being like: "Well I mean it's not really being done to an actual child, only a picture of it, and besides it's the internet what can you do :P" THAT IS CHILD PORN.

I'm not sorry for thinking it's hysterical and absolutely pathetic to come whining to a bunch of people that your fic where you wrote a child being raped and turned into a sex toy for a 50 year old man is getting "mean ol' antis" telling them that it's disturbing and gross. Holy shit please find a better way to cope with your trauma than to make writing that is designed to titillate and arouse people with this stuff happening to teenagers.

Not to also mention that Ao3 itself can censor stuff too! Recently that one volunteer got kicked off because they had "from the river to the sea" in their bio because it ""promoted violence"". So it's perfectly okay to have people post about nazis and racist pedophilic shit on there, but to have somebody have a message in their bio??? Shut it down folks.

I respect Ao3 on some level for its insitance on censorship (most times)(unless you support Palestine and don't want an entire culture wiped out then apparently that's bad), but I still find it disturbing and incredibly disgusting how its normalized and how these people have a victim complex. I've seen how they act whenever they're called out for writing gross stuff.

Self-proclaimed proshippers will make antis out like they're moronic teenagers who send death threats to people over writing enemies-to-lovers. Obviously, no, you shouldn't harass people over fictional ships. You shouldn't harass people in general. Harassment over something as simple as a person making a kinky smutty oneshot is dumb. Sending death threats is worse.

It's a mentality that antis are just hysterical and can't think for themselves, brainwashed by sex-negativity and can't just let people be people. Yeah, obviously that's bad. Anybody who sends hate, death threats, and harassment to a person who's just writing normal smut with nothing really bad about it (ie, no children, no incest, nadda nothing), is just stupid. It's ESPECIALLY moronic when it's a ship that is only a smidge problematic. That's stupid.

What isn't stupid is being upset over extremely taboo content being hosted on the site and people just being like: "Well you're just a snowflake anti for saying the author is weird for liking this". I don't think you should deliberately seek content like this out just to hate (again, harassment dumb), but it's so disgusting to act like it's completely fine and dandy for smut of real children to be hosted there and just be like: "Eh, what happens happens".

I'm here on those subreddits just to talk about fanfic and tropes. I like being silly and doing the funny little stuff. What exhausts me more than anything is when people will come whining about getting a hate comment when, surprise surprise, their fic that is mostly children being raped is being hated on for being a fic about children being raped for the sake of sexual pleasure.

Write as much as it as you want, just don't act all surprised and like you're the victim here when people think you're vile.

[sunnyie-eve]

3 | Don't need you

Series: Uttermost Lifestyle

Paring: Johnny Knoxville x Original female character

Word Count: 1.7k

Warnings: Mention of rape and young pregnancy's

| MASTERLIST |

I've been working with the guys for a few months now and we were all super close. Caiden loved to say he had multiple uncles since his real uncle was a piece of shit.

At the moment I was at the office coming up and going over ideas because Jeff told me to. "Morning." I hear Johnny come in.

"Thought you were off this weekend?" I say looking through the papers.

"Jeff told me to help you with ideas." I look up to see him holding Madison.

"Put me down." She tells him so he does and she comes running over to me.

At times he would bring her to work when we weren't filming and I would play with her so she took a liking to me.

"I still can't believe she goes straight to you. Oh, her mom told me to tell you... she hates you in a playful way because now when she does hairstyles on her, Madison says you do it better." He takes a seat at the table with me.

"Tell her I'm sorry." I laugh putting Madison on my lap. "You really wanna do the cup test?" I look at what he put as different tests.

"For number one Caiden already volunteered to kick." He lets me know.

"You asked him?" I give him a look.

"He asked me about what I had in mind and he said can I kick you. I'm scared why he volunteered so quickly."

"Because he'll get to be on tv. He loves you almost as much as he loves Chris, so it's not because he doesn't like you." I laugh.

"Okay, that's a good reason." He makes me laugh more.

~

After a few hours of working on bits, I have to get going to pick up Caiden from my parents place. "Wanna go get some lunch?" Johnny asks picking up Madison.

"I have to go pick up Caiden from my parents house. I'm sorry." I get my things together.

"Then let's go get him then go eat." He smiles.

"You're gonna follow me around?" I laugh.

"To your place so you can park then we can go get him in my car. Let's go." He heads out.

I shake my head heading out too and he follows me home so I could get in his car. "Well now you know where I live." I laugh getting in his car.

"I'm sure I was bound to know at some point." He laughs so I tell him where my parents live.

When we get there we park and get out since I soda I might be awhile because my parents love to talk forever.

"I'm here!" I shout opening the door.

"Mo- JOHNNY!" Caiden runs past me going to hug him so he puts Madison down who holds onto my leg in a unfamiliar environment.

"I feel the love. You know what." I pick up Madison, "You steal my son, I steal your daughter when she's with you and not her mom." I walk into the living room with Johnny holding Caiden on his back.

"So we finally get to meet the Johnny Knoxville." My father laughs.

"Hello Mr. Hunt." Johnny gives him a polite smile.

"We can't stay much long because Johnny is taking us all out to a free lunch." I say making him look at me.

"I didn't say free."

"You offered so it's free." I laugh.

"Well have a good lunch." My mom says as we all leave.

When we get to a restaurant we go inside taking a seat at a table. Most of our meal was good with Caiden talking about school and stuff. We also continued to talk about upcoming bits.

"Mom." Caiden stops laughing getting super serious.

"What honey?" I ask seeing him stare in the distance so I turn my head to see Kyle sitting at a table alone watching us.

"What? Who's that?" Johnny looks where we were looking.

"We're ready to leave." I make the table look nice.

"Yeah, okay." Johnny calls the waitress for the check.

"He keeps staring mom." Caiden stares at the table.

Last week Kyle showed up to my apartment banging on the door threatening me since I won't let him near Caiden. I recently made it to where Kyle had no visiting rights because how he's been get worse with showing up in unwanted places. The school had to call the police because he got past the office walking around the school for Caiden.

"Just don't look at him." I tell him as Johnny pays so we can leave.

"Have a good day." The waitress tells us as we get up to leave.

"Let's leave through the outside area so we don't have to pass him." Johnny takes my free hand with his free hand.

As we get to the car Johnny helps us get in as I see Kyle come out the front to watch us. When we get back to my place Johnny stops me while Caiden takes the keys to go inside.

"You need to get a restraining order against him. I could tell how scared you both were. What happened recently?" He asks me.

"Last week he threatened me and trust me I know. Thank you for lunch." I give him a smile shutting the car door going to my apartment.

Caiden goes to his room wanting to take a nap so I let him. As I started to head to my room to change clothes there was a knock at my door. I look out the peephole to see Johnny.

"What?" I ask confused.

"We're stay here with tonight because I saw your ex park outside." He comes him with Madison shutting the door locking it behind him.

"We don't need you here." I let him know.

"I don't care if you don't need me here. I wanna be here." He puts Madison down.

I just stare at him as he gives me a serious worried look. "I don't have a third room for you two." I knew there was no changing his mind.

"I can sleep on the couch." He looks over at it.

"What about Madison?" I ask because I only had one couch in my shitty apartment.

"I can make it work."

"No, you guys can just sleep in my room. I'll sleep with Caiden in his bed. We can both fit." I walk to my room and he flows me while Madison watches what Caiden put on tv before going to his room.

"I don't wanna kick you out of your bed or Caiden." He sits on my bed as I look for clothes to change into.

"I'm not letting you sleep on the couch." I walk I to my bathroom taking my hair down to brush.

"Well what are we gonna do to fix this problem?" He asks as I get undressed to change clothes.

"I'll share my bed with you both. It's a king so it's big enough for three." I look at him so he looks at the whole bed.

"And your comfortable with that?" He looks back over at me.

"Johnny, I'm changing in front of you right now and I've basically showered with you. I think I can share a bed with you." I laugh at him.

"We have sorta become close friends since you saw my dick. Chris was right about that." He laughs.

"I'm gonna be best friends with the whole cast at some point then." I fall back on to my bed.

"Tell me the full story of you and your ex." He says making me groan.

"We met through our friends. His best friend was dating mine at the time. We started talking and hanging out. He was really sweet but he had a terrible temper so he could turn into a whole other person in a second. We started dating and back then, I was the one that could calm him down. When it came to the night I got pregnant with Caiden, I didn't even wanna go to the party so that meant I didn't want to drink. He kept pressuring me to drink more and more. After one I knew it didn't feel right anymore and that was because he drugged it. All I can remember is his walking me to a room to lay down and he said he'll make me feel better. I woke up the next morning terrified not remembering anything and how I ended up naked. I thought back to the last drink making me break down. I got dressed and when home crying to my mother. I told her everything and she told my dad. They went to the police and Kyle's parents but no one believed me because I had no proof. We were both just drunk stupid teens who tries out sex for the first time. After that he was pissed I would told someone and threatened to do it again with me all there to know what's going on. He refused to let me end things until I found out I was pregnant. He wanted nothing to do with what was growing in me making me fat. He avoided me like didn't even exist."

"And he randomly decided to pop back in on Caiden's 6th birthday getting his hopes up." Johnny remembers what I told him.

"Yeah. Caiden was slightly excited to finally meet his father because he didn't know him. But when Kyle would cancel last minute or never show, Caiden gave up on him. He's terrified of Kyle from spending only a couple of hours with him on day." I explain to him.

"What happened?"

"He won't talk about it to me or Chris. It worries me because he's my baby and I wanna know what Kyle did." I start to get upset.

Johnny hand grabs my hand pulling me to sit up and wraps his arms around me making me start to tear up. "I wish he was comfortable to talk to me about it." I start to cry into his chest.

"I'm sure he will at some point to help get it off him. Don't think you're a bad mom because he hasn't told you yet. Like he's your world, you're his world too. You're all he has." He rubs my back.

"Thank you for this." I say in the hug.

"I'm here if you ever want to talk about it." He says making me laugh.

"I meant the hug but that too." I say making him laugh now. "You should go check on Madison." I get out of the hug.

"I forgot about her." He gets up rushing out of the room.

[ghouldtime]

As a fellow writer that tries to bring a little more variety to the COD tag, I just wanted to say thank you for talking about the problem in the fandom!

I only saw one other person other than me talking about it, and honestly, I was almost starting to think that I was the weird one for judging the romanticisation and fetishisation of abuse when so many people enjoy it.

Like, I'm all for writing whatever you want, even terrible topics, but... sensibly? I genuinely don't understand how someone could write about rape or abuse without treating it like the awful, disgusting thing it is.

I often get told that I just want to have the 'moral high ground' and that's why I say that, but that's not the point at all. We all enjoy characters that have done some questionable stuff, starting with the cod men themselves. I'm just... worried I guess, about how many people find abuse enjoyable to read.

I wish people would at least tag this stuff properly.

Anyway, sorry for ranting, I'm glad I found your blog! 🖤

Oh the anon coward crawled back into my inbox to flail onto their back and utter, "Superiority complex". That's it. That's all they have to say. What about it? Who knows. I'm assuming they're trying to imply that I have one but they didn't write anything else, so I'm just going with they like saying random words (going to start anon messaging people things like carbonated hot dog water with no context to leave them befuddled the rest of the day)

It's a HUGE problem that I've seen and I'm honestly sick of it. I legit can't open the basic tags without being hit with it. No matter what or who you block, more ALWAYS pop up. I'm not saying flat out "Don't write these topics altogether". Like, COD is a video game about war and killing people?? There's going to be awful shit. Ignoring that entirely is doing a great disservice and censoring writing just because a topic is uncomfortable is extremely counter productive.

Also, adding this, I literally never said don't write it at all - to the anons who came for me, you're just mad because you can't read and are being called out on turning something horrible into an attractive/hot thing.

I'm saying "write it sensibly with respect for the topic and the victims of it. It's not a fetish it's not something for you to play the good ol' meat fiddle too. Real thing that affects real people and what you're writing, even if it's fictional, DOES AFFECT THE REAL WORLD". Literally, not that hard. So what if I'm told I'm taking a moral high ground? Cause I, sorry let me put on my reading glasses-🤏 👓

I have the moral high ground because I don't fetishize rape, abuse, incest, sexual assault, stalking, and the other long list of actual crimes that people are apparently treating like they're kinks - because I'm saying to not treat them as sexy time things and to instead give them proper respect when you're writing them. That's supposed to be moral high ground???? If so, I'm alright with that.

You're not the weird one. This is just common sense and sometimes terrible things are so normalized in fandoms that it's just one big echo chamber so it keeps being said and done, and people keep repeating it, and it spreads and spreads. Like, I'm not the weird one for going "hey fantasizing about a man abusing a woman and finding it so attractive you write about it and turn it into smut is weird." At that point, that's not an intrusive thought, that's a WELL AND CONSCIOUS decision when you plop your hand down and start typing away at the keyboard. It's a conscious decision when you ignore the actual harm it causes and keep on writing it.

"Write whatever you want" doesn't mean that what you write will be free from judgement. I'm all for write whatever makes you happy, I don't give a shit there. But when it starts to affect ACTUAL people, yeah, then we have an issue and I'm going to speak up about it.

Also, I can't "Don't like don't read" BECAUSE ITS NOT TAGGED PROPERLY, no one censors properly. The mature censor for SEXUAL CONTENT is absolutely free to use. Half the time, you're just thrown head first in and you're like "oh, oh this is fetish stuff, this is really gross fetish stuff". Its just so blatantly posted, no proper tags, just flat out in your face. I just avoid tags all together now unfortunately but what else can ya do. It's exhausting to interact and look in that regard so I just don't

My blog will ALWAYS be free from that and will ALWAYS be a safe space for those who want to avoid it. Not going to change that nor am I ever going to back down or go back on my word here.

Sorry for all the heavy stuff recently y'all but this MATTERS significantly to me as a victim of some of the stuff aforementioned above. I'm not going into details but it's a thing very personal to me and it's absolutely INSANE of what is treated as okay/what is done and I'm never, ever going to be okay with the incorrect depiction of this shit and the blatant fetishization/romanticization of it

[jinkieswouldyoulookatthis]

The Bright Lights of Disturbia by leonidaslion

Okay, this is a Wincest fic rec, but it comes with warnings. I'm going to list out the warnings first.

Massive, neon, flashing, siren-sounding content warning for rape. This story hinges around a brutal rape and the aftermath. It doesn't pull any punches or gloss over any details (although the author gives the option of abridged versions of two chapters at one point to help step around some of it) so only read if you think you can handle that subject matter. If you want more info, feel free to ask me and I'll be happy to offer whatever additional explanation you want.

This fic is long. Like, it's loooooooooong long and it is an intense read from beginning to end. 374K+ words.

That said, this is... I'm struggling to come up with the right words here...

I talked back to this story. Yeah, out loud and as if I had no control over the impulse, I audibly commented about what was happening, I gasped, I fucking cried, the whole nine. I also had a depressive episode while reading this, that, frankly, scared the shit out of me. I don't blame the story for it, my mental health is my own, but I also can't lie and say there wasn't a connection between reading this and feeling more fragile than I remember feeling in a long, long time. But I could also see the story in my mind as I read it with a clarity that is rarely achieved. Sam in this is almost exactly how I think that Sam is, or, you know, would be outside of the canon story. Perhaps my only gripe about the portrayal of him in this is that he is a bit more dense than I like to give him credit for, but not by much. Sorry, Sam, I love you but you're a mess and we both know it. The story is from Sam's pov, so we only get Dean from Sam's point of view, only noticing catching what Sam notices and catches, and that is both fascinating and frustrating even as his character is as close to in character as I can imagine given the events of the story. But there is so much love and understanding of the characters, all of them (even John) shown in such a bare and exposing light that their flaws are just laid right out in the open alongside their reasons and emotions and they all just come through so fucking clearly.

Interesting to read this right on the heels of Sure Got a Dirty Mouth by JustineDelarge which was very good (seriously well written) but didn't hit for me the way this one did. Several of the things that rubbed me wrong in SGaDM were in TBLoD too but didn't bother me this time around, namely, the frequency that the boys say "I love you" to each other and how often they cry. All I can come up with to explain why is that in TBLoD those moments felt more earned, more emotionally true and with intensity levels that matched the situations as set up in the story. Also though, them talking about getting married or being married, in SGaDM it felt... I don't want to be insulting but I'm afraid that's how this will come across but it felt very juvenile. And the boys were younger in that fic, so that kind of fits, but it just didn't feel in character the way they talked about it, the way they were envisioning it, it felt too stereotypically girlish. I hate how gendered that is, but I cannot for the life of me think of a way to unpack a lifetime of imposed gender role crap to figure it out right now and I want to get this down while it's all still fresh in my mind. But in TBLoD it felt different, more about the underlying commitment and less about the trappings of the social ceremony and expectations. Even the desire to have a child felt more mature in this one, so it bothered me less. That bit still didn't sit quite right with me, I don't think it made complete sense, but I recognize that the story was long enough and I don't think I could have emotionally maintained long enough for it to get around to that in a way that felt true to me. I also fully acknowledge that I have issues around romance and marriage and the desire to have kids that are my issues to deal with, so take all that with a big chunk of rock salt.

But, this was BEAUTIFUL, heartbreaking, horrifying, devastating, yet hopeful and loving and it just sucked me in and chewed on me for days. If you're feeling up to it, I highly recommend it. HIGHLY RECOMMEND.