#And that misgendering happens and that it's okay as long as she's trying

[a-timely-problem]

had a very good interaction with a nurse for a change. My gender on my id ain't changed yet and I don't bother saying anything at the doctor's office BC yeah... Transphobia ain't fun. Got blood drawn and the nurse asked me which gender she should put down and that her kid's roommate is getting his name and gender officially changed today. And that they're planning a party. She also said that it's sometimes difficult but that she tries her best. I love her

[bloomshroomz]

Tumblr is still actively endorsing transphobia on this website. Reblog the fuck out of this.

Tumblr got back to me about a report for once... Just to tell me that the blatant transphobia I reported "does not violate community guidelines."

These are the posts which Tumblr staff decided should be kept on the platform, with screenshots.

Also, I apologize in advance for censoring the usernames of the transphobes in the screenshots. Tumblr does absolutely nothing to protect its trans users, so I wouldn't be surprised if I ended up getting in trouble instead, just for including their usernames. I will mention, however, that every transphobe had transphobic dogwhistles in their usernames and/or bio. Transphobes are not difficult to spot. Staff are just apathetic at best, and actively transphobic at worst.

Exhibit A: A post in which someone repeatedly and explicitly misgenders trans women, fearmongers about "trans ideology," uses transphobic dogwhistles, and denies the existence of transmisogyny. This isn't even the full post; it was an incredibly long transphobic tangent. The comments were full of transphobes as well. None of them were banned. Tumblr staff think this is okay.

Exhibit B: A post in which someone delights in the idea of a trans person hurting themselves by "ripping at their surgery scars," with additional ableist undertones. Not a hypothetical trans person either; a real individual trans person. She was not banned.

Exhibit C: A post in which a self-proclaimed TERF refers to consensual gender affirming surgeries as "forced surgeries" and frames trans people as "Nazis and fascists" just for trying to become comfortable in our own bodies. She did this in direct response to trans people celebrating their own surgeries. She was not banned.

Exhibit D: A post in which someone says "transgenderism is erasing women" and blames the existence of misgendering and degendering on trans people, as if we aren't also hurt by those things frequently. She also said that trans women are "not women" in comments on her own post. She was not banned.

Exhibit E: A post in which someone engages in a blatant form of Holocaust denial, by saying trans transgender and queer people "were not targeted" (while simultaneously casting doubt on the validity of those identities themselves by putting them in scare quotes). Trans persecution and book burnings are a well documented aspect of the Holocaust. This post was also reblogged by other transphobes. None of them were banned.

@staff care to explain why you think these posts are okay? Would you like to tell us how and why these "don't violate community guidelines"? Did you learn nothing from the lawsuit that happened because of transphobia among staff? After everything that has happened, why is there still nothing being done about the rampant transphobia on this website?

Just curious.

Also, in case I get banned or this post gets deleted, here's an archived version of my post. Keep it tucked away somewhere.

[wolfsbanesparks]

Fanfic idea!

So I wanted to share an idea i had for a story that just sorta appeared in my brain fully formed. It will be a while before I have time to write it out, but I wanted to share it with y'all now while it's fresh in my mind.

This was inspired by @puppetwoman17 's story "Batson Family Soap Opera" and conversations I've had with @cerealboxlore as well as some other posts I've seen floating around tumblr but can't find right now.

Title: Signed in Blood

Premise: Ebenezer Batson makes a deal with Lady Blaze to bring his son Sinclair back to life, but there's a catch: after a year and a day either Sinclair must return to the land of the dead or a blood relative must take his place.

When the time comes for Blaze to collect on her contract, the Justice League is recruited to protect the Batsons from the hellhounds and demons she sends after them.

Full details under the cut because this will get long. Like the entire fic is there in bullet point form

Okay bullet points for all the plot beats i know (basically an outline of the story)

We open on Lady Blaze tracking down Ebenezer and offering to grant his greatest wish: bringing his son back to life

Ebenezer jumps at the chance and signs the contract with his blood, even knowing the caveat that someone must die in one year. A further stipulation in the contract is that the soul of whoever dies to fulfill the contract will belong to her

Ebenezer loves his son and won't let him die again, but he's still a selfish bastard, so he doesn't plan on dying either

He justifies it to himself with the thought that Sinclair is smarter, more charismatic, and had a bright future whereas Billy is a troubled runaway who will probably become a petty crook etc.

There is only one other blood relative he knows is still alive: Billy

(Billy is of course trans in this but I'll stick to the name and pronouns we know he uses rather than Ebenezer's misgendering and deadnaming)

Sinclair does not know he's dead: Blaze wiped his memory of the accident and used magic to provide false memories to account for the time he was dead

Ebenezer tracks down Billy to take back custody of him so he'll be able to hand him over to Blaze (he knows that if billy dies and he tells people Billy ran away they'll believe it because of his history thus getting away scott free)

Billy is conflicted about being in Ebenezer's custody again, especially with a cousin he doesn't remember (he died before Billy's parents did) who seems a bit off (because he was resurrected with demonic magic)

Sinclair jumps straight into making a name for himself by running for political office (he has ambitions and plans for his future and zero idea what his father did)

While campaigning for office, exactly a year and a day since he was resurrected, Sinclair attends a major political conference

The conference is attacked by hellhounds sent by blaze to remind Ebenezer of their contract. But it causes a huge scene and the Justice League, including Captain Marvel, gets involved to help protect the political leaders of the conference

But they soon realize the main target is Sinclair so they take him and Ebenezer back to their home and offer their protection while they figure out what's going on

Ebenezer is sweating because he has no idea where Billy is so he can't offer him up like he planned (because Billy is CM at the moment) but he figures the JL can keep him and Sinclair alive

Cap is unusually rude and abrasive. He's distant and avoids certain sections of the house. The JL is worried because he never acts like this and they don't know what happened or why he doesn't seem to like the batsons

As they try to figure out why the Batsons are being targeted, a second attack happens at a charity event where the Bromfields had been in attendance (the demons targeting Mary)

The JL brings the Bromfields and the Batsons together to try to find a link. And after Batman runs a DNA test he finds out that Mary is related to them.

(Billy recognized her the moment he saw her locket and is desperately trying to hold himself back from pulling her into a hug and whisking her away from their uncle)

Ebenezer is gobsmacked that his niece is alive, Mary is ecstatic to learn more about her birth family, and the Bromfields are worried about what this all means.

The story of CC and Marilyn comes out and Sinclair tells the JL about Billy and how he's missing and they need to find him before the demons do

Demons attack the house, gunning for Cap as well which leads to some investigation and the theory that Cap is CC with memory loss which he adamantly denies

(Both Billy and Ebenezer are shaken by just how many "dead" Batsons are in the room)

Blaze appears and tells them all that due to her contract they cannot deny her: she is owed the life and soul of one of the Batsons by midnight. A life for a life.

Everyone is freaking out because what contract? And who is she?

But Billy knows who she is and it takes him no time at all to put the pieces together. He confronts Ebenezer and when he denies it, he convinces wonder woman to use the lasso of truth on him

Ebenezer is forced to tell them he made a deal and why: he wanted his son back.

But Sinclair still has no idea he died so he doesn't understand: he would have come home if his dad needed him so bad.

But Billy remembers an incident from when he was a kid living with Ebenezer: playing in the backyard, digging a hole as little kids do and finding a ring engraved with the name Sinclair Batson (a high school class ring that Sinclair always wears, one that he's wearing right now)

His uncle had been furious and punished Billy for it, but later while drunk he sobbed about how his perfect son was gone, how he'd never see him again.

Billy had (rightly) assumed he was dead but didn't ask any questions about him until he was in Ebenezer's custody again, then he assumed he was just young and misunderstood the situation (after all he'd lost so many people at that age. Lots of people were just gone without explanation)

But now he realizes the truth: Sinclair was brought back from the dead and the strange offputting aura was blazes magic

Ebenezer is forced to tell them what happened: how Sinclair died.

It was an accident. The two of them had been arguing about Sinclair going away for college among other things and things got heated. Sinclair tried to sneak out after the argument, climbing out of his window. Ebenezer caught him and shouted for him to get back inside. The shout startled Sinclair and he fell off the roof and broke his neck

Ebenezer couldn't bring himself to call the police, he was terrified they'd arrest him because the neighbors heard them arguing and Sinclair had bruises on his arm from where Ebenezer had grabbed him

So he buried his son in that backyard, telling everyone who asked that Sinclair was away for college and building up the lie so no one suspected the truth. (Billy found Sinclair's ring because he was playing on top of his unmarked grave)

Billy pushes and Ebenezer admits that he'd been planning on giving Billy up in exchange for Sinclair (airing out his justifications)

Everyone is horrified, especially Sinclair. (Not Billy though, this aligned perfectly with the Ebenezer he knew)

There's a lot of argument about what to do: most are in favor of handing Ebenezer over to Blaze but Sinclair is admant that he was supposed to be dead so it should be him she took.

But Billy knows something no one else knows about this deal, not even Ebenezer: Blaze had always intended to reap Billy's soul as payment

She knew there was no love between Billy and Ebenezer but she also knew that Billy would never let anyone (even someone he hates as much as his uncle) become her slave via owning their soul

But if Billy's soul belonged to her, so would his powers and his connection to Shazam and the Rock of Eternity. The contract would back him into a corner and his pure heart would give her the opening she needed.

So Billy pulls Sinclair and Mary aside. Mary's clinging to Sinclair because even though she just found him she doesn't want to lose him.

The three of them hatch a plan

When Blaze arrives and demands her payment Cap steps forward and offers himself (which makes everyone confused since he's been denying being CC all night)

Blaze is ecstatic because she can taste victory

Sinclair steps up and demands to know how they can trust her not to come after them again once she has cap's soul.

After a bit of back and forth, she agrees to add an addendum to the contract Ebenezer signed ensuring that she would never harm any of the Batsons after collecting what she is owed.

All batsons sign the contract in blood

Last is Billy who she tells to power down so she can collect his soul without divine interference

Billy transforms and literally everyone except Blaze is blindsided by the fact that Cap is Billy who has been missing since before this mess began

Blaze shoves her hand into Billy’s chest to rip out his soul and claim her birthright

But before he dies he gives Mary, who is shell shocked and horrified and quickly realizing that's her twin, a nod

As he falls to the ground she remembers the plan: she shouts out "Shazam" and becomes Mary Marvel

You see the night before Billy officially chose her to become his successor as Champion (Sinclair is too closely tied to blazes magic so it would've been too risky to give him. Plus Mary was always destined for the powers of Shazam but had been hidden from him by black Adam's magic)

Just as Blaze was denied her father's power and the Rock of Eternity because he chose Billy as his champion, so she was denied when Billy transferred his powers to mary

She is furious and attacks mary

But upon landing the first hit, Billy is brought back because she hurt a batson rendering the contract null and void

Together Billy and Mary send her back to hell

The epilogue features the Batsons several months later. Ebenezer is in prison for attempted murder (of both Billy and Sinclair) among other crimes. Sinclair still visits him because despite everything he loves his dad and owes him his second chance at life (it's definitely complicated) Sinclair is billys legal guardian and theyd sold the house where both Billy and Sinclair were abused moving into the same neighborhood as the Bromfields so the twins can be together again. Captain Marvel and Mary are beloved heroes and they've officially endorsed Sinclair's campaign which meant he won in a landslide.

And they lived happily ever after

So thoughts?

I told you the idea was fully formed but I'd love to hear what y'all think!

[ironskyfinder]

When I first met Jackalynn, she was very confused about her place in the world.

The silly little girl was going by Jaden, had cut all her beautiful hair off, was wearing a binder to hide her beautiful hourglass figure, and was outwardly militant about ‘becoming’ a ‘man’.

She messaged me - seemingly furious that I would run a blog that openly advocated for female disempowerment, misgendering, and ��transphobia’, but I could tell there was something deeper going on, and before long, she said something that gave away far more than she’d wanted me to know.

jadensjourney [11:24PM] I just can’t believe that you would knowingly post such filth. It boggles the mind that anyone would think it’s okay in the slightest to make such a toxically degrading concept so arousing. And you defend it without the slightest thought?!

trad-dominant [11:25PM] I post it because it’s filth that people enjoy, and I defend it for that reason and because it’s my artistic right to do so.

trad-dominant [11:25PM] So it’s filth that you enjoy, too?

jadensjourney [11:26PM] Our definitions of the word ‘artist’ are very different

jadensjourney [11:27PM] No, no, NO. I didn’t say that, you psycho

jadensjourney [11:27PM] What is WRONG with you?!

trad-dominant [11:29PM] You said it “boggles the mind that anyone would think it’s okay in the slightest to make such a toxically degrading concept so arousing,” which certainly implies that you found it arousing.

jadensjourney [11:30PM] No!! 

jadensjourney [11:31PM] Okay, but, that wasn’t what I meant and you know it

jadensjourney [11:32PM] What I ACTUALLY MEANT was that you’re a degenerate for even trying to make such disgusting topics into erotica

trad-dominant [11:34PM] Maybe I am a degenerate, but at least I’m honest with myself about what I like. I could help you with that, if you’d lose the attitude and admit it.

jadensjourney [11:37PM] Fuck you.

It wasn’t the first time I’d had readers reach out to berate me, and it wouldn’t be the last. I thought that was the end of it, and went back to writing. I felt like I was making good progress, so I stayed up later than usual, until another chat notification interrupted me.

jadensjourney [1:17AM] I admit it

jadensjourney [1:19AM] now what?!

trad-dominant [1:21AM] What?

jadensjourney [1:23AM] I thought it was a little erotic. Your story. So what?

trad-dominant [1:25AM] So you’re starting to be honest with yourself, that’s all that means

jadensjourney [1:26AM] Shut up, fuck you

trad-dominant [1:27AM] You don’t need to be aggressive, you’re judging yourself for liking it far more than I am.

trad-dominant [1:29AM] So, which part of the Little Miss Thought-She-Was-A-Boy story turned you on most?

jadensjourney [1:33AM] no I’m not

jadensjourney [1:34AM] judging myself

jadensjourney [1:36AM] stop it

trad-dominant [1:37AM] It took you all that time for just seven words? You must be typing one-handed, were you reading the story again?

jadensjourney [1:41AM] yes 

jadensjourney [1:43AM] the part where he’s cockwarming ryan and they’re doing anatomy

jadensjourney [1:44AM] That’s the best part

trad-dominant [1:47AM] I have to point out that Sam is a girl, I know you and her both struggle with that

trad-dominant [1:48AM] But, I agree, that is a great scene. 

jadensjourney [1:50AM] fine

jadensjourney [1:51AM] the part where SHE’s cockwarming ryan.

jadensjourney [1:53AM] where’d you come up with the paintbrush thing?

trad-dominant [1:54AM] Personal experience. 

trad-dominant [1:54AM] Holding a girl down and slowly tracing through all her erogenous zones with a brush is something that never gets old.

jadensjourney [1:55AM] crazy

jadensjourney [1:56AM] It’s only a tease?

trad-dominant [1:57AM] It is, although you have to be careful brushing around her clit, just in case

jadensjourney [1:58AM] i liked that most

jadensjourney [1:58AM] i mean

trad-dominant [1:59AM] Is that the part you were imagining happening to you?

trad-dominant [2:01AM] Having a stranger who picked you up at a bar overpower you, tease you mercilessly, and correct your gender?

I didn’t hear from her more that night; I assume she’d gotten embarrassed and deleted the chat. Most of the interactions ended like that - a confused girl reached out full of anger, then admitted how hot it was, then vanished. It didn’t bother me, but I was surprised when the next day I found a message waiting when I logged in.

jadensjourney [6:52AM] hey so fuck you but that last messsage you sent made me cum harder than I ever have in my human life and i passed out. sorry

It actually made me laugh aloud, between the reckless honesty and the charming turn of phrase. Few people had enough creativity or enough of a way with words to arouse my attention, but there was still the lingering combativeness from our earlier interaction. I sent the reply and assumed I’d never hear back.

trad-dominant [7:26AM] Fine, I suppose we can let that slide. If you keep cumming to my stories, though, you owe me your deadname real name.

I didn’t hear anything from her that night, or the one after, or the next. I expected to see her icon vanish one day, blog deleted. It was only after I published the next story, this time about a lesbian ruining her gold stars, that another two messages came through.

jadensjourney [9:52PM] three times. I hate you.

jadensjourney [9:54PM] and it’s jackalynn. 

From then on, whenever I posted a new story, Jackalynn and I talked. It started with her telling me how many orgasms she’d had while reading, but then we started talking more with each story. Over the following months, she confided that she was liking my stories more and more, and I told her if she sent a selfie of her all femme’d out that I’d write one with her as a main character. The story of ‘Jessie’s Fall Back to Femininity’ took a few days to finish, but when I posted it I saw that it had vanished.

Then - 

jackalynnsjourneyback [10:56PM] it’s me new blog. 

jackalynnsjourneyback [10:56PM] spent the last three days reading and re-reading jessica’s fall. i can’t think about anything else

jackalynnsjourneyback [10:57PM] so when i tell people i’m officially detransitioning do i blame it all on you, or?

trad-dominant [11:02PM] What a pleasant surprise! I thought you’d gotten cold feet, I guess I couldn’t have been more wrong.

jackalynnsjourneyback [11:04PM] yeah you brainwashed me back into being a girl or something 

trad-dominant [11:06AM] We both know I only reminded you that your clit exists, it did the rest.

jackalynnsjourneyback [11:07PM] uh, i think you did a little more than that!

trad-dominant [11:08PM] Not really, all I had to do was help your clit show you who you really wanted to be.

jackalynnsjourneyback [11:11PM] thanks for saying that, now i’m soaked again.

jackalynnsjourneyback [11:11PM] but you’re right, of course

jackalynnsjourneyback [11:12PM] i just can’t believe how hot jessie’s fall was, especially when she got fully corrected at the end

trad-dominant [11:13PM] You’re welcome. I thought you’d like it ending with her cumming from being impregnated.

jackalynnsjourneyback [11:14PM] and her repeating ‘this...is…what..i’m…for” is going to stick in my head forever

jackalynnsjourneyback [11:16PM] so are you gonna make me beg, or

trad-dominant [11:17PM] Probably, on principle, but I don’t know what you mean.

jackalynnsjourneyback [11:19PM] do it all to me

jackalynnsjourneyback [11:19PM] treat me like the professor treats jessica. tattoos and all

trad-dominant [11:20PM] For that, you’re definitely going to have to beg.

jackalynnsjourneyback [11:22PM] fuck

jackalynnsjourneyback [11:22PM] please

trad-dominant [11:25PM] You told me that in the last three and a half weeks you’ve edged for hundreds of hours, a lot of it to pretty misogynistic porn. We both know you know how to beg.

jackalynnsjourneyback [11:29PM] i deserve to have my silly gender fantasies corrected by someone who is going to take every advantage of me, i know i’m just holes and tits. please use me, sir

jackalynnsjourneyback [11:29PM] pierce my nipples, tattoo a qr code over my clit because i’m just property, and decide what else you want done to my body. 

jackalynnsjourneyback [11:30PM] please make me your jessica. take me in, break me down, make it so i lose my mind when you breed me

trad-dominant [11:36PM] That is better. Hmm.

Three weeks later, Jackalynn stepped off the plane; we talked the whole way back, her mind was made up. She wanted nothing less than to be reeducated, corrected, improved.

She’s getting her wish. Sometimes she still gets confused, but she’ll come and talk to me and a few minutes of intense anatomy practice always sorts out her delusions. Edging afterwards is helping her feel a lot better, and this will be her tenth straight day plugged - between that and the daily maintenance spankings, she says she’s never felt more feminine.

Now all that’s left is to breed her, and she’ll be the perfect woman she never dreamed she’d be.

[perotovar]

rebirth — a pride month oneshot

pairing: genderfluid!javi gutierrez/ofc/reader (written in 3rd pov) rating: T word count: 2k content: javi uses hey/they pronouns, coming out, discussions of gender identity, mentions of misgendering and worries about being cast out/attacked for one's identity (doesn't actually happen), reader is only referred to as "she", google translate spanish, spanish pet names (used by both javi and reader), if i missed anything lmk! dividers: by @saradika-graphics beta: @qveerthe0ry and @scenaaario ily both ♥

summary: javi has been wanting to let his partner know something for a long time. in fact, this is something that javi has thought about for their entire life, and they're comfortable enough to finally say it.

a/n: written as a part of @romanarose 's pride event for week 1: coming out! i wanted to try something a little different and i hope you'll give it a try ♥

for any future fics, follow @oakslibrary and turn on notifications ♥

They were both in the living room, the credits for their weekly movie rolling in front of them. Javi had been wanting to tell her this for a while now. If they didn’t get it out now, he was sure he never would.

“I believe I am… trans,” Javi said into the quiet room, gaze fixed to the floor.

She blinked, shifting her attention from Instagram and letting his admission settle over her. Javi curled in on himself, still unable to meet her gaze. She locked her phone and set it down on the coffee table, giving Javi her complete attention.

“Oh?” She asked quietly.

Javi closed his eyes briefly and nodded, hands balled into fists against his knees. “Y-yes, I,” he gulped. “Um. I feel… Inside. I feel it inside.”

She had no personal experience in any of this before, but Javi was coming to her in confidence. Javi trusted her with this side of… them? Him? Her? She really wasn’t sure which applied to Javi at this point.

She nodded, considering. “H-have you, um,” she gulped. “What brought you to that… conclusion? I’m sorry, osito, I’m… I’m new to,” she gestured vaguely, but stopped in case that came off as dismissive. “I’m not sure what I should say.”

Javi finally turned to her, huffing out a laugh and wiping his eyes. They grabbed their love’s hand and held it gently in their own.

“I am sorry,” he said softly. “I just sort of… sprung this on you, but. It has been on my mind a lot lately.”

She nodded, urging Javi to continue.

“I did not have the language that is available now, as I was growing up. I’m not sure if I’m… I do not believe I am a woman, but,” Javi paused, looking down at their clasped hands.. She squeezed their hand reassuringly, and Javi squeezed back. “Masculinity is… fragile.”

She snorted at that, making Javi laugh a little as well.

“Well, it is, but you know what I’m saying,” Javi giggled. 

“I do.”

“I have always felt disconnected with masculinity. There were so many things men were supposed to do, to be,” Javi sighed. “I never felt like I– Like I was one of those people.”

“Should I–” she started, but fell quiet. “Sorry, I don’t want to interrupt you, osito,” she said softly, rubbing her thumb across his cheek. Javi leaned into the touch, and gave a small shake of his head.

“Por favor, pregunta.”

“How should… Is there a name more fitting for you now? Or new… pronouns?”

Javi bit their lip, thinking about it. “I like my name,” they said easily. “And… I think I like ‘they’?” Javi shrugged. “It is still new for me as well.”

She giggled softly and leaned closer to press her forehead to theirs “That’s okay. We can… We’re in this together, mi osito.”

Javi’s cheeks flushed. They nodded, steeling themself for their next announcement. “I, um. I was wondering if you could… help me?”

She leaned back to look at him, eyes questioning. “Of course, amor. Whatever you need.”

“Um, I purchased some… clothes and makeup and I was wondering if you could help me put some outfits together?” He rushed out shyly.

She beamed, excited at the idea of helping her love explore something they’d always wanted to.

“It’s just–” Javi gulped. “You always look so put together and pretty and–” “Javi,” she chuckled, taking his face in both hands. “I’d love to help you.”

The smile on Javi’s face could rival the sun.

Javi Gutierrez, he/they, discovered the word “genderfluid” a few months later. He liked that word, but it made everything all the more real. He knew that things were changing, but his mind was filled with brand new anxieties. He worried about being disrespected in meetings with studio executives, being misgendered, blacklisted, or even worse, a target.

For now, at least, he kept his identity private. Only his love, and immediate team were aware. To others, Javi was just a little adventurous when it came to fashion.

Ever since coming out to their partner, they’d gotten really good at applying their own eyeliner and lipstick, always a pretty neutral color that complimented his skin tone beautifully. Having lived in Mallorca most of his life, his wardrobe was already full of color, and he never shied away from the more “feminine” colors. Who knew wearing a pink suit would cause such a stir?

Some days they felt more masculine, and other days he felt more feminine. When they felt somewhere in the middle, they got to play around with some androgyny. The freedom to just… be was such a weight lifted off his shoulders. There were no restrictions to what they could do anymore. No pressures to act or look or be a certain way.

Javi was just… Javi.

And right now, Javi was nervous, but excited. 

“Mi amor, look! What do you think? Do you think it is too much for the luncheon?” Javi asked brightly, twirling a little in their shared closet.

She gave him a once over and felt her heart flutter at just how happy Javi looked. She’d always had her suspicions about Javi, especially the longer they’d been together. Javi always carried themself a little… differently than most men. She understood now that it was because Javi wasn’t like most men. Or even a man at all. Well, not really, anyway.

“I love the color... but it may be a little too short,” Javi pouted, nervously tugging at the hem of the skirt.

“Oh, it’s perfect, mi osito,” she grinned, stepping closer to them. “However,” she started, biting her lip as she gave him another look. Javi’s eyes widened and their cheeks flushed. “I think you should wear your knee high socks with it. Balance it out a little.”

“Are you sure?” Javi blinked owlishly. They looked into the full length mirror turning first to the left, then right, assessing the outfit. He had chosen a matching set in a soft lavender, the delicate shade perfect against his golden skin. The tennis skirt made his ass look fantastic, and the polo shirt hugged his biceps perfectly, showing off his broad shoulders. The strip of skin that peeked out between the two pieces was an added bonus. “I haven’t worn anything this… obvious to this sort of meeting before.”

“What do you want to do, honey? I think you’ll look beautiful whatever you decide to wear,” she smiled, coming up behind them to wrap her arms around their waist. She kissed their shoulder comfortingly, nuzzling into the soft fabric.

Javi bit his lip as he turned in the mirror again. “I love the skirt. I love how it feels, but… Perhaps it is too casual? No quiero ser poco profesional.”

She hummed in understanding. “Maybe the earrings? The new ones,” she offered instead.

The tiny silver hoops with small crystals in the colors of the genderfluid flag were more delicate than Javi usually wore. The gender euphoria he would feel during the luncheon far outweighed the subtlety of the jewelry.

“Good idea,” Javi smiled, turning in her arms to cup her face and kiss her tenderly. She hummed happily into it, keeping her hands on their hips. As he pulled away, Javi’s eyes softened at her blissful expression. “I am not sure what I did to deserve you, but… I’m not complaining,” he chuckled softly.

Her heart thudded in her chest. She felt the exact same way. It would take a little time for her to get used to all the complexities and nuances of Javi’s gender, but she was willing to put in the work. She loved him, loved them for exactly the person Javi was.

“Perhaps I should not question it too much, hm?” Javi winked, then pressed a kiss to her forehead. 

“Probably for the best,” she winked back. “Now, go get dressed so I can take you out later, ok?”

Javi smiled brightly and nodded, parting from her to get changed.

“I am nervous, mi amor,” Javi whispered, clutching her hand tightly in his own. 

“You’ll be just fine. And you’ve got me here with you,” she grinned, and gave him a light peck on the cheek. “Don’t want to mess up your makeup,” she said, rubbing an invisible smudge off his highlighted cheekbone and winking.

Javi exhaled a heavy breath, eyes fluttering shut as he centered himself. “Alright. Press record, por favor.”

“Hola mis amigos,” they said shakily. "I have… I have something I’ve been meaning to share with all of you.” As nervous as Javi was, there was an undeniable determination in their eyes.

To say Javi’s coming out video went viral would be an understatement. Javi Gutierrez, screenplay writer and part-time producer, famed for working with the likes of Nicolas Cage, was coming out as genderfluid. It was on every news article and Twitter account for weeks.

Javi expected there to be mixed reactions, but the only opinions that they really cared about were from the people they’d be working with directly. His team had known for a long time, and they’d been out to themself for two years. They were sufficiently comfortable in this identity, and if he lost out on certain jobs, they weren’t worth having in the first place.

He did a few interviews after his initial coming out video, but made it clear that they didn’t want this to be something he had to talk about in every interview going forward. Yes, he was genderfluid, but it wasn’t the only thing.

Thankfully, lots of Javi’s celebrity friends were on his side. Every new set he worked on, he heard encouraging words from the cast and crew. A co-star who’s brand hinged on being very feminine, said Javi’s video unlocked a lot of feelings they had been trying to repress. One of the lighting guys, a man who could have passed for a member of the Hell’s Angels, quietly asked him for makeup recommendations while blocking a close-up shot. He worried about the people who wouldn’t be supportive, until he realized he had so many people in his corner that the bigots didn’t matter. 

And above all else, he had her. She accepted them for who they were and even if she had questions or didn’t understand something, she made it a point to ask or do her own research. 

Javi had never felt so seen. So respected.

And here, laying in her arms, head resting on her chest, they felt protected and loved.

“Your hair is getting long, mi osito,” she hummed quietly, twirling an errant curl around her finger.

“Sí, quería ver cómo quedaría,” Javi muttered, lifting their head and resting their chin on her stomach. He made eye contact with her, getting lost in the color of her eyes. “I have always wanted to know how I looked with long hair.”

“Oh, I’m sure it’ll be gorgeous, mi amor. These curls of yours,” she sighed wistfully. 

Javi swayed their head from side to side, those curls bouncing and dancing along the tops of his shoulders. “You have said how much you love them,” Javi giggled.

“Well, it’s the truth. Maybe we can get some things to put in it once it’s even longer,” she offered, smiling softly.

Javi’s eyes grew wide and he sat up, on the bed, legs tucked under his backside. They were wearing a pale blue silk nightie that hugged their thighs and accentuated their shoulders beautifully. She couldn’t take her eyes off him.

“I would love that!” Javi exclaimed excitedly.

“Then it shall be so,” she grinned, playing with the bottom hem of the nightie they were wearing. She gazed up at him through her lashes, taking in the sharp angle of his cupid’s bow and full bottom lip. “When do you need to wake up, mi amor?”

Javi’s breath hitched as her fingers crept underneath the silk and across his thighs, and his gaze dropped to the smooth column of her neck. Their eyes met as he crawled over her to straddle her lap. 

“Not early,” he hummed, “Did you have plans for this evening?” They asked mischievously, leaning in to tease open mouthed kisses across her collarbone.

“Maybe,” she sighed, reaching around to squeeze his ass, bare under the nightie.

“Good,” Javi smiled, leaning down to kiss her deeply, hungrily. She moaned into their mouth, relaxing as they found a comfortable rhythm.

And that’s just how it was for them. They were in sync. Javi had a feeling they always would be.

a/n: if you're curious to know what sort of nightie javi is wearing, this is what i was picturing ♥

[earthphoenixstories]

White tears, brown scars and the internet jumping on a black trans person hate campaign.

I realise that a lot of the OL fandom are under 25 and are still at an age where y’all are learning and maturing and that’s great. However as someone who is close to being 40 I need y’all to do some reading for me.

White Tears, Brown Scars: How White Feminism Betrays Women of Color by Ruby Hand.

The black person at the centre of all this is a trans person that doesn’t identify as a woman. Yet all I see is blatant misgendering. This black person upset you, therefore their gender identity becomes meaningless.

Sadly, this behaviour isn’t new to me. I’ve watched it happen for too long many times over the years.

So of course what is the next step when white people get in their feelings? They hit the pockets of creators. Demanding refunds, getting them demonetised, trying to silence them by any means necessary.

The most recent example of this that I can think off is White Woman Whisper on TikTok. During the man vs bear debate, she pointed out that black women generally, would feel safer in a board room setting with a white man than a white woman. Oh boy did the white women get all up in their feelings about that. Within hours, White Woman Whisper had been removed from the TikTok creators program and hate white women making endless think pieces about how upset they were.

Y’know what? Tough. Sometimes y’all need to ti be told the truth even if it upsets you. I don’t trust white people, and I’m half white myself.

When a white person makes a mistake it’s “they’re young, they’ll learn. Everyone needs grace to grow and become better.”

When a black person makes a mistake it’s, “wow, that’s so disrespectful how can you think that? I hope you get fired. I’m reporting your comments to your boss, your school, I’m going to blast you on the internet.”

We don’t get “grace”, we aren’t allowed to learn and grow. There’s immediately “discourse” and the need to hold that black person “accountable.”

Where is this smoke for 99% of white folks who use their privilege as a shield.

It’s not until a whole person does something that crosses a line and stars upsetting white women that they start to get called out.

See JK Rowling and Elon Musk as examples. Queen Terfette literally named the only black adult in the series “Shacklebolt” and no one batted an eye. Her name choices were praised for being “clever” and “imaginative.”

She even did an interview where she called her fans “delusional” and no one spoke up against her. Even when she started saying openly transphobic things, she was protected. Until the dam burst and the tables turned.

And yet all that time black folks and other people of colour were calling her out and pointing out the lazy and offensive ways she talks and writes about non white people.

Which brings me to this morning, and I wake up to y’all dog piling on a black trans person for … saying that the way black trans men are portrayed made them uncomfortable.

Y’all are exhausting.

No, we don’t have to sugar coat our feelings to protect yours. No, we aren’t responsible for your actions and reactions to us. No, we aren’t being “aggressive” or “mean” or “confrontational” when we speak up for ourselves.

I’ve read some comments about disliking the discord profile pic. Okay. I mean, I personally snorted at it when I saw it. But y’know what? Y’all need to ask yourselves why you don’t like it. Is it because a black person is holding a whip? Is it because some white dudes are working the fields?

Here’s a story from the book Medical Bondage: Race, Gender, and the origins of American Gynaecology by Deirdre Cooper Owens.

When white slave owners wanted to punish pregnant black slaves (who were forced to work even when they were heavily pregnant), they would get a slave to dig a hole large enough for the woman’s pregnant stomach, then have the woman lie face down - her stomach in the newly dug hole.

The slave master would then proceed to whip the pregnant woman with the hopes that the unborn baby would feel the mother’s pain and behave better when they born.

Did that upset you? Did it make you disgusted and angry? I felt that way. I was so horrified I had to walk away from the book and calm down.

Black people still feel that generational trauma. We still have to live with the knowledge that is it what was recorded. Who knows what else happened to our enslaved ancestors that never got recorded? We’ll never know. That will always haunt us.

And y’all are upset over a picture that never actually happened.

Stop.

When Kendrick said “they not like us” he was talking about y’all.

[poppyseedqueenz]

(Hopefully Final)Update On the owonekko situation:

Okay so just today the situation has reached its peak so a few hours ago Nondi has worsened this whole mess by making a follow-up response to not only Jouusta but to her critics AND her fans as a WHOLE and let's just say it's probably WORSE than her first response

How did she Respond? Did she apologize? Is she taking a break? Did she realize her mistake?

Well.....

Okay I'm not gonna hold back

Nondi This is the Most NASTIEST, IMMATURE, RUDEST, DISRESPECTFUL Thing that I have Ever Seen! Where do I even start?? Lets start with the fact that whole Animatic low-key ridiculous not only is the whole thing lowkey disrespectful to EVERYONE involved with the portrayal of Jo, Her Critics, HER FANS. But this video is anything BUT respectful! She went silent for almost 5 to 10 days after her Livestream only to make an EVEN worse response not only that but the fact That now she's trying to turn the whole thing into a race issue when race was NEVER even mentioned by Jo or anyone EXCEPT Nondi! Nondi was the ONLY one who said anything about her skintone but now I'm starting to realize something

At this point this isn't even about the AI anymore Nondi is just being a straight-up bully and slandering Everyone involved specifically Jo painting her in a TERRIBLE TERRIBLE Light(whilst now Nondi fans are also now sending Jo hate comments and a few were DEATH THREATS)

Not only that but in the description to her animatic not only is she "Not sorry" she made a lengthy doc(and yes I read every single word) where she fails to take accountability and passes blame onto the critics and Jo and making excuses for her behavior and adding extra things that are half-true, not relevant to the situation, gaslighting fans, and downright lies of which she claims is the "truth"

Nondi's Doc:

Let me remind that after Jo's video went up she made a Pinned Comment and made a few edits to it when Nondi's livestream went up This is What she Said:

Jo's Pinned Comment: "EDIT (9/12/24): Thank you to all who have let me know about Nondi’s most recent livestream and livestream thumbnail. I have not watched the full VOD, but I have seen the thumbnail and… obviously, I am not okay with it. Not in the slightest. That being said, it’s very clear to me that she’s having a mental health episode of some sort. I’m hoping after that livestream she’ll take some time off the internet and not entertain this controversy anymore. I’m disappointed with her actions, with her portrayal of me, and with how she’s handled everything, but at the end of the day I want her to be mentally well, and I feel bad that I contributed anything to the deterioration of her mental state. I still stand by everything I said in this video. I still think she’s wrong for misgendering the larger creator (and continuing to justify it). But I think this will be the last thing I’ll say regarding this video and OwONekko. If anything else happens, I’m not gonna address it (unless I feel like I REALLY need to). Again, don’t go and harass Nondi. Don’t be nasty to anyone. Take care of your mental health too. . . . . . . . . A few more notes here! I changed the title of this video from “How to Lose an Audience’s Trust - OwONekko’s AI Art Stance and How it Harms Artists” to “OwONekko’s Generative AI Stance and How it Harms Artists” because I felt like that was a more concise and less offensive way to market the video. I also want to say I do NOT think Nondi is a bad person for using and liking AI for the reasons she does, I just disagree with her reasons, and I should have been more clear about that. She’s entitled to her opinion about AI as much as I am entitled to mine. I may go here or on my insta to say a few more things regarding this situation if anything else happens, but I’m not going to make any more video content because I don’t want to egg on the people that have been relentlessly harassing Nondi because of my video. Genuinely, I feel awful about that. If you have anything to say about this discourse, keep it on MY video and off of her twitter/ Youtube page. She’s seen all the arguments, criticism, and nasty shit that’s out there. I may have criticized her for blocking certain users in my video, but at this point I think that course of action is 100% justified. If I had known this video was going to be shown to over 200,000 people in less than 48 hours, I would have been a lot more clear and less reactive with how I expressed things in this video. I’ve never had a video perform like this one did.. like, genuinely, I thought this would be watched by the people already in this discourse and MAYBE just a few others. It was not my intention to bring so many new eyes to her channel, especially in this light, but that’s what happened. As for the transphobia claims, she says it was an accident and will not repeat this mistake going forward. She hasn’t apologized for misgendering the creator, which I absolutely disagree with, but she’s made it clear she doesn’t stand by what she originally did. (that being said, I am not trans or queer, so whether or not you want to support her for this going forward is completely up to you. Just don’t go and be a bother to her.)(edit: she has continued to justify her misgendering the larger creator so idek anymore) I’ll edit this comment if I have anything else to add, but for now that’s all I have to say."

I am 100% on Jo's side of the drama

Jo said that nondi was entitled to her opinion and was not calling her bad in ANY WAY Jo was rightfully upset about how nondi portrayed her in the Livestream(she hasn't seen the Animatic yet) and for some reason nondi and her die-hards decided to attack her when Jo just made a harmless statement and even said not to harass anyone at the VERY beginning of her video plus she Cannot be blamed for who saw the video she is not in control of what the algorithm shows us as she said that her intended target for the video were people who WERE actually aware of the situation WITH the exception of a FEW new eyes NOT 200,000(now 400,000) new eyes and she did apologize for that and I do agree if people did not watch Nondi's ai stance video and then Jo's video(even though jo DID say to watch Nondi's video first to get the full context)

(Note: I watched Nondi's full ai stance video before Jo uploaded hers) and just saw Jo's video(depending on how much you watched of Jo's video) and just relentlessly attacked nondi are also in just as much of the wrong telling her to "Kys" is not helpful and making her more stubborn and while I don't agree with her deleting comments that DO know the full story those critiquing her with no context are 100% justified beacuse context is EVERYTHING however Nondi's reactions and responses are NOT justified whatsoever she is a GROWN ASS WOMAN who knew DAMN WELL what's she's doing especially when she went live with that slander video, Twitter posts and even TODAY'S video and the fact that people are still defending what she's done are also the problem she is not the victim she is the perpetrator and when other people did what she's done now they were called crazy, were ridiculed or nearly lost or DID their careers entirely)

The last time a rapper(Doja Cat) made a post disrespecting her fans the same way nondi did she lost almost 200,000 followers

When this rapper(Nicki Minaj) went on a whole Twitter rampage and a crazy rant on IG live beacuse of Hiss (by Meg Thee Stallion)(in this case Nondi went on A coke rant on YT live)she was called a fucking cokehead

When this youtuber(Colleen Ballinger) made a video pinning blame on the internet for banding together, calling her out on her predatory behavior and made a ukulele musical as a response(in Nondi's a fucking snl skit) her response was seen as the worst youtuber apology/statement videos to date

(Note: this is not an attack on Nicki, Doja nor Meg as I love and respect all 3 of these artists however I can't say the same thing for Colleen as she is a terrible human being)

And while people are saying "omg the art community is so sensitive" and you know what? You're right the art community can get sensitive over everything and anything but that that's not the case people are rightfully upset at nondi she montitezed her ai Playlist Made by a company who's under fire for stealing unauthorized audio and using it but now she's attacking fans and critics who were trying to tell here what she was doing was WRONG

AI is a dangerous practice and a very controversial topic that is threatening not only art but jobs in general if ai was not being trained on stolen work and being seen as a replacement then maybe I would have a different opinion the problem is its not being seen as a tool but as a REPLACEMENT for human artists whist stealing art from them and creating entirely new images for the stolen work and people keep Making excuses for ai if "get with the times" mean I have to just let ai steal my work then I rather be left behind

And when I was looking at Nondi's Doc she keeps using race(she used are a total of 3 times even again race is NOT the problem and the fact that your using the race card is downright sickening and this is coming from a black person) and she tried to make Jo look like the bad person and acting as if what she's doing isn't overreacting guess what nondi You ARE overreacting and this Animatic and doc is proof and the way you responded has just made things worse you could've used that short hiatus to reevaluate or make a statement no one asked you to apologize for the A.I video but for the misgendering, the hateful comments and to Jo but instead you make 2 videos(one of them being a YT live) and slandered many people(even though you said you don't like bigger platforms using their influence to harm others) she is becoming the thing that she doesn't want to be and it's sad and the fact that fans still defend and fight tooth and nail for her just proves how ignorant these people are critics will critique ANYTHING, EVERYTHING and EVERYONE that should be common knowledge if you become a content creator or a public figure(such as a celebrity, influencer or musician) if you can't wrap your head around that then content creation isn't for you She is a GROWN woman who went on a two-year old rampage over a controversial topic

Remember the reason all of this is happen is beacuse she got pissy over ONE comment and she's using her race as a sheild

This isn't a RACE issue this is an ETHICS issue and she's treating it like some Anti-Black Campaign

Nondi This is Unacceptable

Leave the internet or take a hiatus beacuse this is too far

[lewiscarrolatemybrain]

I love trans Jin Ling but I specifically love trans Jin Ling in a way where Jingyi calls him Young Mistress and Jin Ling rightfully gets pissed about it, but as time passes and the two become totally-not-friends-shut-up the name changes and Jin Ling actually sort of starts to definitely-not-like-it because he knows Jingyi doesn’t mean it like that and anyway it’s Jin Ling’s gender and he gets to decide how precious he wants to be about it.

Then Jingyi finds out Jin Ling is trans and he is appalled. He’s been? Misgendering him?? This entire time??? He didn’t know he didn’t mean to. He presents himself to the disciplinary pavilion for punishment and refuses to tell the disciple in charge the specifics of why he needs to be punished but he’s insistent that it’s A Big Deal and ends up kneeling in the courtyard for days, because the least-Lan Lan who ever lived is still, at his core, a Lan.

When Jin Ling asks what Jingyi got in trouble for this time Sizhui just does that Thing where he’s not rolling his eyes but somehow radiating exasperation and tells Jin Ling not to even worry about it, Jingyi is being dramatic, and Jin Ling lets it go only to notice, weeks later, that Jingyi no longer calls him Young Mistress.

Nothing else about their dynamic has changed. Jingyi is still the worst, and Jin Ling still endures it with all the grace, poise, and long-suffering patience expected of a man of his status, and if he does occasionally very rarely slip up just a little bit and express a totally reasonable amount of frustration with Lan Jingyi’s Everything then that’s still Jingyi’s fault because Jingyi was provoking him and Jin Ling has a responsibility to his clan and sect to defend his honor and therefor that of the Jin at large!

The only thing that’s different is that one, stupid name. And Jin Ling doesn’t care about it! Of course he doesn’t! Why should he even be curious about changed? He isn’t curious! It doesn’t matter to him At All!

Anyway other Plot happens and then they both do eventually end up in a situation where it comes up and Jingyi explains that he found out Jin Ling was trans and felt like a great big piece of shit because there’s bullying and there’s bullying and he has never once wanted to be that kind of person, and Jin Ling confesses that actually he kind of liked it before because he knew that Jingyi wasn’t trying to treat him like less of man, he was just being a jerk, and it felt easy and playful and dumb, and...

And Jiujiu used to say that Jin Ling looked like his mother. Not -- not a lot, not like, identical to her or anything, but. But that little girl he used to be, she was... unhappy, most of the time, for a lot of reasons, and he doesn’t regret... letting her sleep. He doesn’t regret burying her. But Jiujiu seemed almost relieved to have her gone, to not constantly be looking at a reminder of the sister he misses so much, and Jin Ling obviously is endlessly grateful for his uncle’s support and validation and he’s so much more comfortable in his body now and he never wants to be that little girl again, but. Sometimes, he feels like, maybe someone should mourn her. Like maybe there should be someone who... not wanted her back, really, but was still... aware that she was gone, and... was grateful for what she did. Respected the sacrifice she made, so that Jin Ling could be Jin Ling. There should be somebody who knew she existed, and thought of her fondly, on occasion.

And Jingyi looks at Jin Ling for a long, long moment, and says “Okay, Young Mistress. I can do that.”

[lilyfaewood]

Reminiscing TW: loss, terminal illness

It was about this time last year that I went into the hospital to greet my mother in the emergency room for the last time. It was Thanksgiving morning and I was dressed in a skirt, turtleneck, and a cardigan. It was the first time that I had ever planned to see a family member in a truly feminine outfit in my 28 years of life. I had resolved that this Thanksgiving would be the one where people would see the real and comfortable me for the first time.

But that kinda got thrown off when the day started off in a cold room filled with dread and sadness. She didn't pass that day, but it was the last truly coherent conversation that I had with her. It was our second conversation after I had cut all contact with her earlier that month. She started off strong by misgendering me, couldn't make things easy for me, even at the end huh?

This nurse gendered me correctly though, as I entered the room. saying "do you need a chair ma'am" which I thanked her and she brought one. It was silent for a minute or so as I sat there and held her hand, trying to be that strong child that she had always known me to be.

Internally I was a mess. This was the 5th emergency room visit she had had in the last few months. We knew she only had limited time left with multiple terminal diagnoses saying she wouldn't make it to next year. But that doesn't make it easier or anything. She finally broke the silence to say the words I wrote on my drawing above.

"I messed up. Didn't I?"

In the moment I knew she was just referencing the early misgendering, especially after the nurse took the effort, while she didn't. But there was a part of me that thought back to all of the last trauma she had pushed onto me and my gender expression.

"You would never do that would you?"

The words rang shrilly in my ears. And yet I felt the apology I just heard extended long beyond this hospital bed. Like they could be apologizing for the lifetime of trauma and hardship she had imposed on me without my consent. It had been 15 years of me assisting with her cancer and relapses.

But even with all of that. I hung around for a while. We didn't talk really about the argument that we had had earlier that month where I cut off all communication with her. It really didn't matter at this point in time.

But I still was hopeful. After all this was the 5th emergency visit. She had come home from every single one after a short operation. Surely this one would be the same. Maybe I would be able to take her to our families thanksgiving dinner after that happened.

That didn't happen though. And yet I went about my life like it was all going to be okay. I had a lovely Thankgiving all things considered. And I guess I feel kinda guilty about that. If anyone made it this far, thank you. I just need to get some things like this off my chest whenever we're getting close to the day. I apologize but there will likely be another.

[woomycritiques543]

Going anon here so I don't get harassed by the stans I read through the doc you made and it was really well made and you brought up SO much good shit Viv and her stans have this problem of bringing up unrelated issues to try and make the other party look bad (And most of it ain't even true) "Oh Erin came out and said the workplace was so bad that she never wanted to draw again? B-b-but guys she's a TERF, so don't listen to her!" Like what the hell??? I have the evidence saved in case someone tries to take it down, and you bet I will be sharing this More people need to know about Viv's abusive behavior, not just people on TikTok (Also I send my condolenscences to you. Being misgendered and called a "psychopath" is utterly disgusting, and I hope you're doing okay)

Best wishes to you and here's to the future!

FINALLY!!!!

Sorry for the outburst but- OH MY GOD you have no idea how long it took to find a way to make it so you guys could see those files and documents! Also, thank you for your condolences.

Vivziepop ableism, internalized homophobia, and racism needs to come to an end. Not just with Ayy Lmao, but her and her entire standom. People are allowed to support something without supporting someone's behavior. Even then, giving someone thousands of dollars in hopes that they'll pay their artists properly just for this to happen instead:

(More info on how she pays her workers and how indie artists are underpaid in studios overall based on the fact that the average is less than the average American pay in the full video of "The Vivziepop Archive Extravaganza" linked within the document itself.)

So yeah, the artists being "paid a little bit less than they should" at Spindlehorse is the underestimation of the centurty. The studio gets millions daily, yet there are still people there that have to work at goddamn Starbucks. That's horrible!

So im planning to maybe make a instructional video on how to not give views to creators you enjoy but don't want to support. It's not like it's going to the other artists really in the first place. Only the lead artists who say things like this:

(This was confirmed to be VIvienne's real discord on her own Twitter by the way. Go see for yourself. It's there. She's transphobic.)

The reason why this is wrong speaks for itself.

(HINT: R^pe is something that severely traumatizes and hurts people and making light of the act itself like this is actually sickening.

-and the main creators also like things such as this:

Yeah...

I think now's a good time to speak with our wallets and our views so that those mistreated will finally move on to better studios and that Vivziepop's reign of toxicity upon the internet will finally come to an end.

So if you wan't to buy merch... buy fan merch!

If you wan't to watch a Helluva Boss episode, another hated Youtuber, etc:

1. Right click on a video from a youtuber that you don't like, for example: Onision.

2. (IMPORTANT!) Press "Copy Link Address."

3. Go to a trustworthy Youtube downloader.

4. -and bam! No views given, but you still get to enjoy the past episodes while making it so Spindlehorse can finally get the message that you do not support Vivziepop or her leads's behavior, and Youtube as a whole will finally get the message that the majority of people do not wan't to support toxic creators.

That is all it takes.

That, or film the video on Bandicam, make it a zip file, and then send it to whoever wants to download the video. -and done! You just DID NOT support Onision! Now try this with any other (big) creator that you have a problem with! Let's make Youtube a better place together. :)

[orgasming-caterpillar]

Okay last week recap

- i got a blood infection (ongoing)

- im having breathing problems and the doctors are saying I'm just fine when i!! catn!!! BreAthe!!!!

- i changed schools and had to abandon all of my old friends from that because my mum's bf doesn't "like" them

- i might have to move in with my mum's (creepy) bf for a few months if I don't find a good dormitory near my school

- my mom said yes to buying me a binder and then said no because her bf said no

- im only four days clean from cutting myself and overdosing on antidepresants

- my dad beat me last night, slammed me into a wall so my hip and elbow are KILLING ME, and also twisted my entire arm 360° so it's.so sore and won't stop shaking

- my entire body is sore now, and yet my mother screams at me because I told her I couldn't sweep the house

- my brother, who's the only one in the house who doesn't misgender me, got scolded by my mother to stop calling me "bhaiya" (elder brother)

- i asked my mom to meet my therapist as my session was scheduled a week ago but she didn't let me go, and she yelled at me because apparently caring about my mental health makes me "selfish" and "high maintenance"

- i told my mum how toxic her bf was and she screamed at me that I never want to see her happy before I even got to tell her how creepy he is towards me

And this is only the last WEEK. I haven't even counted all the shit that happened in the last month and before that

So if I randomly stop posting in the next few days or weeks, you know what happened. Thank you all for so many of the sweet support. Many of you were the reason I lasted this long. I'll try to hold out as long as I can.

Love, forever.

Madhu

[hesitatingspirit]

I. Boy v. World

it feels like the world is against me sometimes.

and i dont know how to make it clear that i just want to be left alone. say hi my name is adam nice to meet you please dont hurt me im just a boy please i just want to be treated like one of you. you dont have to even talk to me but if you refer to me just maybe say he but if not its okay & i’m still too aggressive. say nothing at all and i’m just too difficult to even bother with at all. loser from the start, this is an eternal summer and you’re god’s least favourite cold-blooded experiment. strap in and enjoy the ride: you’ll be here for a long time.

If I am offended by someone calling me a woman, I am too much. I am one of those trannies that makes everything about them, the spitting image of the blue-haired, big-mouthed, angry-faced caricatures of trans individuals created by the right. If I am not offended, I am making a bad name for my fellow trans siblings by not standing up for myself when people misidentify me. I am normalising the idea that people are allowed to “mess up” on purpose, label me as whatever they want. I can never win: The only way would be to never get misgendered again. To not even have it be a possibility…

But we all know that this can never happen.

No matter what I do, I am always wrong,

because what did I expect when I chose to do this?

I mean,

Everyone knows how the world feels about people like me.

What DID I expect?

Would it have been easier for me to just stay a girl?

Easier for which one of us?

The world is run by spiders weaving complex webs of lies and careful misinformation, all vague enough to seem true to those who only catch the news in passing and parrot it at work, conversing at the water coolers. But being wrong is a disease, and baby, it's contagious: Mask up and shut your mouth and maybe even your ears too.

They are just trying to provoke me. They want to make me step out of line, so when I finally say “hey im a bit uncomfortable” They can finally say

I knew there was something about him!

He is one of those, he lied!

He DOES make his identity his whole personality!

No. It seems that my identity has become YOUR personality,

because my gender defines everyone but me:

The way people react to my face usually tells me all I need to know.

I can recognise a cold gaze from around the corner,

through a brick wall and from a mile away

I'm a psychic, honey, and I'm never gonna change,

so dont shoot the Messenger, okay?

and it goes like this it goes

boy with mustache makes a face when stranger calls him a girl

boy with mustache apologises for the trouble in case stranger noticed

stranger scoffs i dont see why it's such a big deal you can't expect everyone to understand

boy says i know and i’m sorry

boy goes home and forgets what he looks like.

It kinda goes like this:

different place wake up with a different face who am i today well everyone sees different things

but you know me i ride my own wave, this is My summer soundtrack

i am a skateboarder i am a stoner i am a rockstar

i am a bleach blond baby boy abandoned by god and i will never die again

mask after mask name after name

another ring around my eyes after another night awake

bags full of sleep deprived weekends staying busy with a racing head

lids heavy with the memories of endless nights

it’ll weigh me down ‘til i’m lowered into my early grave

and all the brick roads and sunsets up in my favourite singer’s hometown will never hit me the same

ghosts see the world differently,

ever so slightly colourblind

translucent lids half-covering eyes that have grown so tired from all they’ve seen

an eternity an observer

an eternity more to go

the people who care what you look like or hate what you listen to aren't really people that should be in your life anyway. so i don't care too much when they cut me off.

i don't care at all,

i just find it so insane that somehow i'm hurting people by being alive. by breathing.

if i enjoyed the shapes of the words she and her in your mouth if i enjoyed the twang of their sound waves if i could love the way the words hit my eardrums then my existence would be pure, a gift from god and i would be a miracle

but because i stand up for myself

because i have committed the crime of wanting to be happy

i am irredeemably evil

forever unclean,

stain on society and a file best left unopened.

top secret, confidential. don't ask, don't tell, but tell them what you don't know, tell them what you want to think. don't ask, don't tell, but they’ll always ask, and you’ll always tell.

“we don’t talk about her anymore.”

“she went crazy.”

“i heard it was drugs that did it.”

“i heard it was schizophrenia.”

“i think she was into witchcraft.”

god forbid a boy want to be loved: god forbid i avenge my death.

porcelain is so easily cracked,

you don't think i have a right to self defense?

i have to crawl out of my grave because this city is all i know. and this place can get so damn cold.

my rebirth will be slow. it will be terrible. and it is commencing.

[spacelazarwolf]

Tw for te/rf rhetoric/beliefs. Apologies in advance for how long this is lol.

I wasn’t fully in the terf cult, Ive maybe talked to one terf and then backed out when she gave me really sketch vibes about how she felt about trans men (which I wasn’t, but it felt predatory and gross and I didn’t wanna be around it). but I did fall into kink-critical radical feminism when I was a teenager because my trauma around patriarchy and extreme discomfort around any nuance within sexual dynamics made kink critical conversations feel sensible. Like of course I should be critical of kink that can take advantage of and abuse consent and condition you to let awful degrading things happen to your body under the guise of consent because the person doing that to you has no reason to be turned on by your powerlessness and if you get off on that, you’re someone we should be concerned about. I was seventeen.

Kink-critical turned into, very quickly, “if you were raised as a man/amab, you’re dangerous to women/afabs because of that gender power differential in patriarchy” which turned into “it’s pretty suspicious that trans women want an opt out of being misogynistic and sexually exploitative towards afabs” because it’s “okay now that she’s a woman” which turned into “trans men Are men but they’re still afab which means they’re basically just women still” (but not in the cool bigender way, but in the gross terf way). This didn’t happen perfectly chronologically or linearly.

While I never misgendered a trans woman and never wanted to take away their rights or ever believed she was a man invading women’s spaces, that conditioning still stuck and I’m still trying to unlearn it and it’s still really hard to undo all that programming. These days, I still have to catch myself all the time. It really seeps into you if you’re not careful. And it all started with someone validating my trauma around consent and patriarchy at 17. Terfs and radfems do not have good intentions, but their words look pretty if you’re not careful. Even if they don’t start off believing trans women are predatory evil masterminds. You cannot always trust your gut instincts about certain things because your gut instincts were not formed in a vacuum devoid of biased conditioning and if they can validate one (understandable) concern you have, they can turn that against others and they will.

It isn’t your fault if they target you but it is your responsibility to make sure you hold yourself accountable for the choices you make from then-on. Being a victim is, surprise, not mutually exclusive from holding bigoted behavior that needs to be checked. But we also need to stop alienating every single person who isn’t pure of heart and mind and soul because literally nobody is. Sorry for the ramble.

yup, like at a certain point you have to sit with yourself and figure out: do you want there to be less bad people or do you want to hate the bad people? which option will cause you less pain in the long term? the answer is probably there being less bad people. and this is where internet 'i don't owe you emotional labor' activism has really fucked us over. because should marginalized people have to sit there and explain to their oppressors why we are human beings? absolutely not. but will we have to do that sometimes if it means they get deradicalized and join the fight for liberation? yeah. and obviously, when possible, it should be allies doing this work. but sometimes you're gonna have to get your hands dirty and it's gonna suck. but sometimes you are going to change someone's mind, and it will be worth it.

[highlifeboat]

You know how sometimes you think about something sweet and your mind goes "but what if we made it darker?".

Yeah.

So what if Max's mom was revived somehow?

Like we talked about it happening with Marguerite in the past, and the way it fucked with Mia, but what about in this case? How much would it fuck with Max?

Would he be happy, cause she's back? Sad, because it's not his entire family? Traumatized, cause "oh god he saw her broken body, bleeding on the ground and *he ran*, he ran away and he couldn't save them, couldn't save his siblings, her other children, she must hate him, want him gone, he is a monster and undeserving..."?

How would she react to him? (I like to think she would forgive him, would hold and love him. Maybe be a bit overprotective about Dani and the others, because she knows their rep, and he is her "last child left".)

How would she respond to having a son now, rather than the daughter she thought she had? (I hope she would love him all the same, he deserves that much. (Darker thought that it's more because of her not wanting to lose another kid than overall acceptance/understanding, but ehhhh, that might *too* dark. Though I could at least see the confusion still))

How did she get back? My bet's on Miranda - looking for new ways to revive some of her fallen followers, to bolster her ranks once more, and started with his family because, even if they were ripped apart by Lycans, that's easier to repair than those burnt alive. And Alcina won't let her close enough to her property to use the scarecrows or zombie maidens anymore. Plus "(he)'s always whining about the loss, anyhow. (He) should be grateful I'm so generous." (As if she would ever do anything for reasons other than her own gain, and maybe to try to get on Mia's good side more by appealing to one of her "friends").

What if she came back wrong?

Anyway, long post is long. Sorry for the rambling lol (Yes I put some of Miranda's speech in parenthesis cause I refuse to misgender Max, even to quote that bitch)

When I tell you I went fucking FERAL FOR THIS–

OKAYOKAYOKAYOKAY–

I strongly believe pulling bodies from the rubble of the slaughter and deciding to play God is something Miranda would do. However, I find it far more likely that she would pull Max’s mom by pure chance more than anything. Perhaps she was simply scouring the aftermath and his mom’s corpse was one of the less-mangled/easier to repair bodies she came across. Took any valuables off, stripped the body, and went to work mending the flesh and repairing what she could manually before starting on Cadou injections. And because Miranda had more than one corpse that she pulled, Max’s Mom wasn’t the first to be experimented on, so she wasn’t revived until recently.

Now, having memories in tact when revived was slowly becoming a trend, so she wasn’t surprised when the woman woke up, looked directly to her, and let out a raspy “Mo–ther Mir…a-nda…?” Recognizing something as significant as herself was obvious. But she seemed to retain… more than the basics. When she started coming around, getting more aware, she started to panic. Rambling on about the Lycans, standing from the operating table and calling for various names. None of which Miranda knew except for “Maxima”–(Which, let's be real she only knows his (dead)name because he’s such a disrespectful shit towards her)

So, in typical “Let’s see how far this goes” Miranda fashion, she points his mom in the right direction to find Max. (AKA the giant castle that is commonly known as a human death trap. So his mom is freaking out a little at that information) Then just kind of… sends her off with nothing else.

Okay, so, once his mom finds him in the castle and they’re technically reunited, Max is just…. So many things at once. Emotions are so high, for both of them.

On Max’s side, he’s… He’s happy, but also incredibly confused, and terrified, and just…. Every emotion imaginable feels like it’s weighing on him. His mom is here, alive, but there’s scars and stitches and her skin tone is a sickly pale that almost rivals Alcina. All the evidence of what happened on display, it reminds him of what he’s tried so hard to forget but… But she’s here. For real. He can touch her, say everything he didn’t get to, he can hug her, but he doesn’t know if he should. So much about it hurts, but not all of it is in a bad way.

And that doesn’t even cover the guilt and trauma that seeing her brings. That’s a whole other beast. When his mother asks him what happened to his other siblings, he can’t even begin to try and tell her. How can he? How is he supposed to explain what he allowed to happen, all because he was too much a fucking coward. That all he did was run. That even the one he managed to get to a safe location died anyway. That the only child she has left is the only one that deserves to be dead.

He hasn’t felt the weight of emotions like this since that day, and that’s evident when he starts having a full breakdown over it all. He can’t stop himself from shaking and when the tears come he can’t hide it. When she pulls him into a hug in a hope to comfort him, he clings onto her as if it’s life or death. Because to him it may as well be.

And from her side…. She doesn’t even know what to think. He looks so incredibly different from what she remembers. She almost didn’t realize who he was, but that face and those eyes are unmistakable to her. He looks older than he should, she thinks, and tired. As if he hasn’t slept in years. And the scars. Not to mention… everything else about his appearance. She has so many questions for him, but she asks about her other children first.

The look he gives her is answer enough, but the sobbing that quickly follows it is all the confirmation she needs. Her heart twists like a knot, knowing her children suffered the same fate as her, the pain and fear they all must have felt. That Max has suffered all this time, a lone survivor. When she pulls him into a hug, he squeezes her tight, and for a while they just… sit, on the floor. She rocks him a little, strokes his hair, anything to try and calm him. Between his heavy sobs are raspy apologies. He’s so sorry, he tells her, he should have done more. He couldn’t save them. He was so scared and the Lycans came so fast. And she tells him to hush. She’s not upset with him, it wasn’t his fault, she loves and forgives him. Whatever he needs to hear in order to compose himself a little.

In terms of Max’s transitioning, it definitely takes her by surprise. She isn’t necessarily upset about it in any way, he’s still her baby, and she’ll love him no matter what identity he chooses to go by. But she also doesn’t fully understand it. And he doesn’t expect her to, as long as she’s supportive. She might slip up and misgender him by accident on occasion, but it’s not malicious, and she does correct herself/make an effort to get it right. It might’ve caught her off guard at first, but her love is unconditional. (Also her saying “You’ve grown into a handsome young man.” to him would make him burst into tears again. Like that’s something he would fantasize about.)

I do think the only thing that gets her is the fact… Max is basically integrated into the Dimitrescu family at this point. Like, when Max tells her “You should meet my girlfriend.” She didn’t expect to meet with one of the Dimitrescu Daughters (though Daniela does try to be very polite), nevermind wind up meeting all of them, and Lady Dimitrescu herself.

It does put her into a bit of a protective stance, though. Despite Max insisting things are perfectly fine and the Dimitrescus really aren’t as evil as the stories say, she can’t quite help but be… nervous. They don’t really blame her. (Perhaps she’s a little… too protective. But Max doesn’t seem to mind it.)

Now, the idea that she comes back wrong is even more interesting, because I like to imagine a scenario in which both these worlds exist.

Max gets his mom back, happy family, all is good. For a while, anyway. And then things… change.

Maybe his mom starts becoming a little hostile. More aggressive towards everybody. It starts off little at first, and Max tries to chalk it up to simple stress from trying to adjust to everything. His mom isn’t an angry person, after all. But it slowly starts getting more out of hand, to a point it feels like she’s trying to be territorial.

Of him.

And it’s not something she’s particularly thrilled over. It’s a very “I can’t control myself” scenario. Kind of like a parasite slowly eating at her mind and turning her into a host.

And I just think it would be really fun if it culminated in some physical fight between her and Daniela, and Max having to step in and break it apart.

[mirukutchi]

Attempt 2 at writing this lol bc the first one got deleted by accident

I wanted to add my experience to that last post I rbed, bc it resonated with me, particularly the first part where men will call eachother 'girl' or 'feminine' as an insult(this is the only part im commenting on as i am not a transwoman so i have no input on that part of the post. )

I have pcos. I always have. I have a very strong masculine face/jawline. I always have. Ive always had a deep voice, as someone who was born a girl and identifies(at least in part) as a girl. I want this to be known bc its context lol

Guys are not the only ones who misgender as an insult, or to dehumanize others. Girls do it too.

When i was in elementary school i didnt have female friends bc all of them would laugh at me and say they didn't want to be friends with an 'ugly boy'

When i would go to the bathroom in-between classes, other girls would push me out, or yank me out physically and say that 'ugly boys' are not allowed in the girls bathroom.

My mom always made me have short hair, and she always made me wear jeans(and boy shirts bc they are more durable than girl clothes. This part was. Okay. I guess. I liked pokemon and ben 10 so my little brain didnt understand.) I was not allowed to have long hair and i was not allowed to wear dresses or skirts(ever since i was little ive wanted to wear only dresses but i was not allowed to...)

I talked like a baby(high pitched voice) for a good part of my childhood bc i knew that my voice was ugly and deep. When i started to go to speech therapy, i started speaking ""normally"" and my voice got so deep... i remember one of the last times i used my baby voice it was with a teacher and another student, and the student said "hey teacher, listen to (deadname?)'s REAL voice, she sounds just like a boy!"

That was a defining moment in my life.

In middle school, when i still wasnt allowed to have long hair and dresses, girls in my health class would look at me and laugh and whisper about how im actually a boy, and that i shouldnt be there. My face started changing too, my jaw got stronger... my voice got deeper.

I think in highschool people were too focused on other things to really bother me too much, plus people *generally* by that time knew me as a sweet and quiet person, not to mention i was the 'art kid' so that gained me some friends lol, also by highschool i was allowed to grow my hair out, down to my butt almost! And i was allowed to wear dresses and skirts and leggings(mostly leggings at that time bc i was still super skinny lol)

After highschool i had a crisis and shaved my head and tried out being a guy(ftm) but it was, personally, an identity crisis. I didnt know who i was, i had been abused, emotionally and sexually, all through high school by a guy i thought was my friend(i wish i had left sooner...) so i was struggling with what was 'me' plus i thought to myself 'everyone calls me a guy anyway so fuck it' but it gave me advanced dysphoria to be a guy :/

My hair is long now. Past my butt, i can sit on it. I only, exclusively, wear skirts and dresses. I wear a skirt to work bc i begged them to let me(i have autism and pants are a sensory nightmare but also i hate the way i look in them also i will look more like a guy)

Do you know how often i get misgendered? Admittedly not often, but it still happens. Usually its kids, but sometimes i get people calling me 'sir'. I want to scoff and be like 'how can they mistake someone with long braided pigtails and a dress for being a man' and then i remember my childhood.

Also im not writing this to detract from trans experiences, im writing my own experience as a woman-thing with pcos(if you dont know, it basically means that the cysts on my reproductive organs cause me to produce extra testosterone and not enough estrogen) who has frequently been misgendered by other girls

I want to clarify that im also only responding to the first part of the post, im not trying to say my experiences are in some way comparative to trans experiences!

Terfs do NOT touch this post ill shoot you on sight!!!!! Pew pew!!!

[newtthetranswriter]

Mourning Friendship

Word Count: 1419

Parinig: Takashi Mitsuya x Transmasculine!reader

Summary: After Having a falling out with one of your best friends, Takashi is there to reassure you that it’s okay to mourn your lost friendship and offer pizza and anime as comfort.

Warnings: Mentions of toxic friendship, some implied transphobia, reader is afab trans masculine, loss of friendship

A/n: Hello, first fic of 2024 and we’re starting the year with angst and comfort. I'd say this takes place sometime in the final timeline where everything is happy. This is also loosely based on some stuff I went through last year, so it was kinda self indulgent of me to write but hey I love Takashi and just want him to comfort me in times of dysphoria. It’s not the best but I’m trying to push past some writer's block so I hope you enjoy it. Any way Remember to Hydrate or Diedrate and requests are open.

    It’s never easy admitting when a relationship needs to end. Accepting the fact that someone you care about greatly, no longer fits in your life, is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I will admit that both sides were in the wrong at times and no one is perfect but I can’t help but to feel betrayed and slightly ashamed. If you told me a year ago that I would lose one of my closest friends, I would have probably called you crazy and walked away, but alas here I sit devastated because I had to end one of the best friendships I’ve had in a long time. 

    That’s how my loving boyfriend Takashi Mitsuya found me, crying in our shared bed, hiding from the fact that I lost someone I thought would be with me for the rest of my life. Being the kind and supportive person he is, Takashi didn’t push me to talk or explain anything, he just joined me on the bed and wrapped me in his arms, pulling me to his chest and letting me cry. We sat for probably an hour before I was finally able to talk.

     When he no longer felt my body shake from crying he gently lifted my chin to look me in the eyes. “Do you wanna talk about it?” He asked calmly, no sign of pressure to talk it out in his voice or expression, just concern for his partner.

     I sighed before nodding sitting up so I was next to him so we could talk in a more comfortable position. “You know how me and Jaina haven’t been talking much recently?” I asked, receiving a quick nod and motion for me to continue. “Well that’s because last time we hung out, she made a comment about how the reason she hasn’t introduced me to her family yet is because she wants to wait until I have my top surgery, to and I quote ‘prevent them from misgendering you, because it’s still easy to tell you’re a female.’ Obviously it rubbed me the wrong way. It should have been a discussion of if I wanted to meet them and if we both agreed on that it’d be one thing but her just deciding without asking if I was okay with it felt like she’s just embarrassed to have a transgender friend.” As I explained what happened Takashi’s face morphed from calm to one of pure confusion and lastly back to calm but there was clear anger in his eyes.

     “So, what you’re saying is one of your best friends refuses to introduce you to her family because you’re trans, and had the audacity to then also misgender you, to your face?” He asked clarifying what I had said. I just nodded once again realizing how terrible that conversation had been. “You have a right to be upset about it, but why didn’t you tell me sooner? I know how much that kind of thing affects you. Is that why you were crying when I got home?” He continued still looking for answers but not wanting to push it too much.

     I laid my head on his shoulder before responding. “I didn’t tell you when it happened because at the time I just brushed it off, I was feeling really happy otherwise at the time so it wasn’t a huge deal just made me hesitant to talk with her again. And no it’s not why I was crying, well not entirely. She messaged me earlier asking if we were okay and it just made me think of all the bullshit we’ve been through and how at some point our friendship went from besties to people who just nitpick everything the other does. It was honestly beginning to feel like a chore trying to keep the friendship in tact. So, that’s what I told her, I explained that in my opinion we had come to a point where it was no longer healthy to keep holding on to the friendship.” I explained, tears welling up again recounting the gist of my conversation from earlier in the day. “I told her that it would be best to end the friendship. She then tried to fight for it saying that we were just going through a rough patch and when I brought up her comments from the last time we hung out she tried to play it off as her trying to protect me. It just hurt so bad seeing her fight for something that clearly passed the point of fixing. I told her that I was done and stopped responding. Ultimately I guess I was crying because I thought we would be friends for life and admitting that it probably wasn’t meant to be, hurt so bad. I don’t know what to do Taka.” I finished turning my face into his neck, letting the tears fall for my broken friendship.

   He didn’t respond right away, just gently rubbed my back and played with my hair. It was clear he was trying to think of a response. “You keep going, simple as that. You were right to say that it wasn’t healthy, I’ve been watching you slowly crumble as you worked to keep it going. Don’t be too hard on yourself, let yourself mourn the friendship and give yourself time to move on. Just take your time to reflect on everything, remember the good times and then let it pass. I’m not saying forget her and the stuff you did, but accept that while there were so many great things that happened with her, there were ultimately too many bad things. It may take time to get passed and sure there will also be times where you think you’re passed it and something will remind you of her and you’ll struggle, but you just have to think about the happiness that happened and know that you still have people who support you.” He explained, reassuring me that it’s okay to be sad. “It’s okay to be upset, but don’t let it take over. You have so many people still standing with you, and we all just want to see you happy, I want to see you happy.” Takashi finished resting his chin on my head still holding me as I silently cried into his shoulder.

    “But why did it have to end up like this? I thought we would be friends for life. She helped me through so much.” I said through my tears. He was right that I had to accept the good times and move on but damn it hurts.

    I felt Takashi sigh before pulling me closer. “Not all relationships are meant to last a lifetime. Some things are only meant to last for short times. Think of it this way, she entered your life because you both had a lesson that the other needed to be taught about life, and once that lesson was learned and understood by both sides, it was time for her to exit your life and you to leave hers. Yes it ended harshly but maybe that was the lesson that was needed, while things can look and start off great, they may turn out to be bad for you in the end. Like I said before, be thankful for the good and bad times and appreciate the time you spent together. Maybe at some point in the future you will be brought together again.” He kept holding me as he spoke. “Now enough of the sad talk. How about we order a pizza and watch anime before going to bed?” Takashi offered, once again lifting my chin, this time wiping the tears from my face as he spoke.

   “That sounds nice, but what about hanging with the old Toman crew?” I asked knowing we had plans for a Toman reunion of sorts later this evening.

    “They’ll be fine without us, we do this thing every month. I’ll just text Ken and then I’ll order the Pizza, plus I'm sure they will understand.” He explained grabbing his phone from the nightstand. I just nodded and leaned back into his side not wanting to move anytime soon.

    “Thank you, Takashi. I don’t know what I would do without you.” I said quietly. “I love you so much.”

    He was already on the phone with the pizza place but leaned down and whispered an “I love you too.” placing a quick kiss to my lips before going back to the phone.