#And other people to back you up and say they experience the same things you do
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xetlynn · 2 days ago
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Arcane Imagines- Violet
Sweet and Sour
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Requested by: @m0ranna "vi and a s/o who looks, seems and acts very soft but is actually a beast when fighting."
[arcane] [main page]
Summary: you and vi have been apart for some time, and when she sees you all the feelings come back.
“Hey, someone’s here for you.” Your only employee, Mexi says, you hum in response waving that you’re coming. You feel slightly grateful to stand up from your desk and be done with all the paperwork for just a moment. It’s been slow running Benzo’s old shop. Nobody has really come in, especially now with everything going on between Zaun and Piltover so money’s real tight.
 You walk out into the shop from behind the counter after your employee leads you there. You look up with crossed arms. “What can I do for you?” Asked with a fake interested tone.
“[Name]? You own the place now?” A familiar voice rings in your ears. Your eyes widened to look more clearly at your past friend/crush. “Violet?!” You jump over the counter, pulling her into a tight embrace. You hadn’t seen her since that horrible, idiotic heist that went so wrong. “Hey!” She holds you close to her, before pulling you back to get a better look at you. 
“You still have that sweet innocent look.” She whispers, pulling you into another hug. Taking in your scent as tears fills your eyes. “How did you get out?” You back away this time, holding onto her shoulders to make sure she doesn’t go away. “Uh, see that pilty officer out there.” She points to the dark haired lady standing outside the shop with her hands on her hips seemingly impatient. “Yeah?” 
“Her, I don’t know why but I’m not complaining.” Vi chuckles and you smile at her. “Want to invite her in?” It stuns her when you offer that, even Mexi was taken aback. She gets nervous, walking into the back so she doesn't have to speak to an officer. “Eh, she can experience the undercity a little more.” Vi waves it off, jumping onto the glass counter to sit down. 
“Looks the same in here.” She sadly sighs, browses the place. “Tried not to change it drastically. Benzo did a pretty good job.” You frown, thinking back to the man who was like a father to you. “Is Ekko…” 
“Nah, he’s doing his own thing now. Unfortunately it's the same with your sister.” You groan, reminding yourself of the blue-haired girl's antics with Silco. “Powder? What do you mean unfortunately?” Vi perks up. “She’s not really Powder anymore.” You start, hugging yourself as you think back to when Ekko begged you to fight with the fireflies. 
“Let’s talk about something else.” You pick up a random gadget, fidgeting with it in your left hand. “How’s the free life?” 
“I want to talk about Powder.” Vi gets off the counter, walking towards you. “Vi, no. You’ll find out on your own. I really don’t want to get into this.” You tell her simply, pleading silently with your facial expression. She wants to argue with you, beg for you to say more but she can’t. Not when your eyes are full of fear and sadness. You’ve always been so sweet-looking. So kind to people, giving them the benefit of the doubt. Which is rare in the undercity. It’s also stupid to most. 
“Okay, okay. I- I don’t know, I’ve only been free for a few hours. This was the first place I went to.” She averts eye contact now. “Hm, I’m the first person you wanted to see, huh?” You joke, there wasn’t really any other option sadly. “Of course.” Vi smirks, nudging your arm. 
“I’ve missed you.” You turn to her, pulling her into another hug. “I don’t want to let go of you. It’s like you’re going to disappear at any moment.” You whimper out, trying not to cry. Vi’s face softens, kissing the top of your head. “I promise I’m not leaving again.” Her hands go to your waist just letting you cling onto her. 
“I’ll kill you before you get the chance to leave me.” You say, causing her to scoff out a laugh. The door bells go off and you both let each other go to see that officer standing there. 
“Sorry to interrupt, Officer Caitlyn Kiramman.” She bows down to you before looking at Vi. “We should get going, I have important things to get to.” 
You raise a brow on why Vi needs to go with this lady so badly. Vi sighs. “Give me a moment.” She tells the officer whose face contorts into an annoyed expression. “I’ve given you quite a few moments to reunite with your girlfriend here.” Cait spits out, obviously very antsy to get where she needs to be. The both of you awkwardly glance at one another now with flushed faces.
“Uh, it’s alright. I’ll see you later Vi.” You chuckle, taking her hand in yours. “There’s a fight in that one arena we used to go to behind Vander and Benzo’s back. It’s huge and you should come. Just like old times.” You propose to her, your face full of hope that she agrees to come. 
“You can bring your bodyguard too.” You tease making her playfully roll her eyes. Cait tries to bite back a smile at the joke. “I’ll be there. I promise.” Vi squeezes your hand before letting go. “It’s at the usual time as well, I hope you remember.” You tell her as she leaves with the girl. “Oh I remember!” Vi calls back. 
When the door shuts behind them and the bells still ring in your ears you let out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding. Mexi comes out of hiding. “You two are dating?” She asks curiously. You choke on your spit. “Huh?” 
“Well the officer said you were her girlfriend and neither one of you denied it.” She shrugs her shoulders, taking out her box of things to put away. “Oh, I mean we had a small thing as children but I haven’t seen her in 7 years. I’m sure she doesn’t think about me that way.” You ramble, putting the gadget back that forgot you were holding. 
“I don’t know. The way she looked at you says otherwise.” Mexi winks, your face heats up. “Whatever.” You mutter, going back behind the counter and heading into the back to finish the paperwork you had. 
•••
Vi and Caitlyn rummage through the crowd of people, trying to find you. “I don’t know if we’re going to find her before the fight!” Cait shouts over the yelling and the music that blasted. “I’m gonna try!” Violet huffs, shoving past all the people, getting to the front where maybe she could spot you on the other side of the arena. Her eyes traveled through the sea of moving bodies. “C’mon.” She mutters to herself. She didn’t want you to think she didn’t come. She had only made it five minutes before the fight even started because of what Cait and her had to do. 
“Ladies and Gentlemen!!!” The announcer screams into the mic, only making everyone louder with their cheers. As he speaks, Vi only zones everything out, trying her hardest not to panic when attempting to find you. 
“Isn’t that her?” Cait points down into the arena with eyebrows scrunched together. Vi’s eyes shoot down to see you standing there against a large woman. “Shit, what’s she doing!?” Violet urgently asks, gripping onto Caitlyn. “I think she’s about to fight.” 
Vi gives her a dirty look, giving her attention back to the scene in front of her right as the announcer starts the fight. The woman attempts to attack you but you swerve out of the way. You look up to see Vi and Caitlyn. You blow them a kiss before turning to the woman and throwing a punch. 
The lady doesn’t dodge it in time, getting hit right in the eyebrow. She tries to throw hits at you but you maneuver around them, hitting her in the right places to cause her to stumble. Vi leans over the edge, now cheering for you. “Kick her ass!” She shouts. Even Caitlyn was amazed at your fighting skills. She wasn’t expecting that from someone so… cute and sweet looking. 
You swiped the lady's feet out from right under her. Going in for the punches. The larger lady attempts to push you away with no avail. 
But when she sees an opening after multiple hits to the face she shoves you off of her. Getting herself up. You roll away, jumping to your feet, you weren’t paying attention when she gets a hit to the middle of your face. Violet gasps, nails digging into Caitlyn’s arm. The dark blue haired girl doesn’t pay attention though. 
You spit out blood, wiping your mouth before going after the woman with more passion than before. Looking like a beast in the ring. You go right for her head, only taking a few hits for her to be back on the ground. 
Not even five minutes into the fight and you win. Leaving her knocked out. 
The announcer commentates as the crowd goes wild. Violet listens to all the people saying how little miss [Name] out there is undefeated. “Holy shit.” Cait whispers. You pump your fists into the air, jumping around for yourself. You have blood guzzling down your nose but you’re having a blast with the attention. You look up, locking eyes with Vi who has a look of bewilderment. You chuckle then motion with your head to the exit doors. She immediately understands what you’re saying. “Meet me at her shop, I’ll see you later.” Violet places a hand on Caitlyn’s shoulder before pushing through the crowd.
You and Vi used to sneak and see the fighters in the back frequently as children. Not to meet them or anything but just to say you were in the same room as them. Even then it was kept a secret between you both. 
She sneaks through the men guarding the doors and slips into the very first room she can. Hands snake around her from behind. “Hey!” You scare her, making her jump away from you. She turns with her fists up in defense. You roar into laughter, mimicking her stance. She pouts from being made fun off and smacks your arm. “Why didn’t you tell me you were fighting?! I didn’t even know you could do all that!” She exclaims as you grin. 
“I wanted it to be surprising! Wasn’t I so amazing out there?” You lift your arms, flexing your muscles. “Yeah but honestly I did not see that coming from someone so… adorable?” She tilts her head as she tries to find the right word to call you.
 “Awe I’m adorable?” You poke her side, heading over to the full body mirror in the room, taking the wraps off your hands. “I mean, you’ve always been pretty cute. Like y’know sweet looking. I’ve never seen you even hurt someone!” she maundered, speaking with her hands flailing trying to explain what she meant with bright red ears. 
“Desperate times call for desperate measures. I don’t exactly enjoy being some beast fighter but it pays the bills.” You lean against the little table beside the mirror. Staring off into space at Vi’s shoes. “The shop not doing good?” Vi asks. “It’s seen better days. I have enough for everything except paying Mexi but I’m not letting her go. She’s helped way too much for me to do that.” You sigh, thinking about the young worker who you practically took under your wing. 
“So you risk yourself so you don’t have to fire just one person.” She quizzes and you go to defend your actions but she just snickers. “Gosh you really are too sweet for your own good, [Name]. I love you so much.” She holds her stomach as she laughs. Amused by how kind you are. “You love me?” You attempt to tease her but her face drops, realising what she said. “I mean, yeah! I’ve been in love with you since we were kids.” She speaks so nonchalantly it catches you off guard. When she said she loved you, you thought of it as a family thing. Not romantic. You weren’t upset but your mind was spiraling now. 
“I’m sorry if it’s too much. I don’t even know if you have a partner already or something. I’ve been gone for so long I just. I’ve never stopped thinking about you even though we were only 15.” She over-explains, and you go up to her, putting a finger to her lips. “I love you too, Violet. I wasn’t kidding when I said I missed you.” You tell her earnestly, your hand going to her cheek. 
Her shoulders drop, relieved by your words. “Oh thank god, I thought I had just scared you or something. I feel so stupid.” You shush her with a small laugh. “I forgot how much you talk when you’re nervous.” You whisper as she plants her forehead on yours. “I only do it with you.” She shamefully admits. 
“Mm, really?” You ask before locking your lips on hers. She moans into the kiss, deepening it by bringing you closer to her. The kiss was rough, making up for lost time. Wandering hands over one another's bodies. 
When you pull apart you grin, throwing your arms over her shoulders. “We're dating.” You state, not asking but telling her. She shakes her head. “I didn’t know that.” 
“Well you do now.”
 You peck her lips. 
•••
Time passes and Vi comes into the shop whenever she can, you let Mexi watch over so the both of you can go out. Always in cute light colored clothes in such a dark place. 
People never understood how you were so bubbly, giving to others and dancing in the middle of Zaun. 
Violet loved it, watching as a street performer played and you danced to music. Children joining you. Even a few adults. It was these moments the undercity needed. A little distraction from the horrors about to come. 
You’d have these sweet moments everyday and then night comes and you’re in people's nightmares. Fighting to pay the bills you said. Fighting to win and prove you’re more than what others call a weak minded, overly nice girl. And Vi’s there to support her girl through it all. 
Loving every second. 
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dufferpuffer · 2 days ago
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(Note: idk the characters OP mentions or what they are from, I wanted to talk about peoples reaction to disability rep in general)
I think it's fantastic when non-disabled people talk positively about disabled characters, even if they do it a little clumsily (though not in the face of disabled people critiquing it... yeesh...) Just like with other marginalized groups. eg: we can be happy about having more PoC characters... even if we might not fully understand the nuances in their representation. We can be taught about that nuance by those who do understand - and that's how we learn to understand better. That's awesome.
The thing that's annoying, as OP describes, is that - especially for disability representation - existence seems to be the bar for entry. They see a prosthetic and go 'Wowee! Good enough :)'
Maybe existing can pass as 'good representation' for some things - like race, gender or sexual orientation (arguably - important: it depends on the particular media) But that doesn't really work for disability.
Depending on the setting and themes of a narrative, being a different race, gender or orientation doesn't alter how you can live. Having a disability, by definition, DOES alter how you live.
Example: Innocent little kids show, where a bunch of kids go on adventures together, doesn't need to display topics like racism, homophobia, transphobia etc. to be good representation. The kids can just exist the same as everyone else - just existing is enough.
But a disabled kid HAS to be disabled. Their life has to be shown as altered in unique ways - otherwise it risks being harmful. It doesn't need to be anything big, or sad, or the topic of an episode... Infact it's often better when it isn't.
+ Have a character wake their friend up early, knocking on her window - she says 'Wait! Let me get my leg on!!' + They go swimming - and she takes her leg off to swim. + It gets really muddy, so she gets a piggy-back from a friend so she doesn't get her leg stuck. + Or it DOES get stuck and someone pulls it out for her. + She's training for a race and she switches her leg to a running one. + Maybe she isn't in an episode - the other characters can't rely on her skills to solve an issue, because its Physical Therapy day.
You don't need to draw attention to it, she doesn't need to suffer - but she has to be different. She has to live with different worries. She can't just be the exact same as everyone else, because she isn't like everyone else. That's what being disabled means.
If she just does everything everyone else does, with no thought put into the fact she has a fake leg other than 'one of her legs is blue'... you are teaching that disabled people don't live differently. But we DO. We HAVE to. A little kid seeing a character never put any thought into the things they need to worry about doesn't feel GOOD. It feels WORSE.
People of minority racial groups, and people of differing identities, dream of a world where that doesn't matter, they can be the same. Disabled people don't get that dream. Having a leg re-grown...? God, even thinking about the physical therapy, training to walk again... It would just be nice if there was more understanding, more facilities and support, that some of us need to live different lives.
...I am not an amputee. My digestive organs are all messed up - and I have PTSD. That is a very different experience to being an amputee. But I can talk about what I think is good or bad representation, even if it might be clumsy sometimes, because: I understand that good disability representation is in how the character is affected by their disability, not by just existing.
And that's what I would want to share with any non-disabled person who feels excitement seeing a disabled character: think about how it affects their life. Think about the choices they make because of it.
Toph from Avatar isn't 'cool disability representation' because her blindness is accurate or realistic. It isn't. It's fantasy blindness. It's cool because she has to live differently. She uses her bending to super-power 'see' - but not in water, or sand, or for flying things... There is no 'fix' that gives her sight back. Only tools to help. ''How does blindness affect how she can live'' has been considered.
So... you have a character 'you didn't even notice had a prosthetic'. Is there no way in which she is shown to act or think differently because of it...? That's not particularly good representation. There can still be cool parts of it that are worthwhile representation, like an interesting history, or design, or function... ...but she isn't disabled unless she is disabled. Yknow...?
I really wish non-disabled folks would stop commenting on weather or not something is good disability rep, especially when people with those disabilities are critiquing the specific things these folks are bringing up as examples of why the character is so good.
I swear, if I hear one more person say "I didn't even realise Neve was an amputee, that's such good representation!" I'm going to scream lol.
Also just to clarify, I don't think Neve is bad, my feelings on her from a disability representation stance are more complicated, but her disability having such a small impact on her that a shocking number of players said they didnt even notice it until she tells you how she lost her leg is NOT what makes her good. "You cant even tell she's disabled" is not a flex. We've talked about this. Twice.
Same goes for the inquisitor and Hezencost but they're pretty minor characters so I'm seeing less of it there.
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writingwithfolklore · 2 days ago
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How to Ask for Stuff
Being able and knowing how to ask for things that you want is an incredibly important skill for… y’know, getting what you want. Whether it’s mentorship, feedback, an explanation or quick advice, networking, a job, etc. etc. etc. it's important you ask the right way to have the best chance of success.
There’s three things that should be in your request:
1. Who are you—how are you related?
This should be short and sweet. “I am a university student studying major, and was in professor’s class where you presented last week.” Or “I am a recent graduate looking to get a foothold in blah blah industry, and saw you had a lot of experience on your linkedIn profile.”
You really don’t need more than that to make yourself relevant and create a connection with this person, and it immediately sets you apart as an individual/real person. People are more likely to help people that they feel like they know in some way, rather than a complete stranger. If you are a complete stranger, explain why you decided to reach out to them specifically.
2. What exactly are you looking for
Be as specific as possible. It is far better to say, “I am looking for feedback on the first five pages of my novel, specifically around if the opening grabs the audience.” Than, “I am looking for feedback.”
This part can be a little bit scary because it is the actual asking for what you want part, but if people know exactly what you want, they will find it a lot easier to help you. Other things you can ask for: “I am looking to sit down with you for coffee and discuss your experience in the industry.” Or “I was hoping you may have some leads for where to start with my job search” etc. etc.
3. What will the project/request look like?
This will help the person decide if they have the time or availability to do what you are asking for. If you’re looking to meet with them, include your availability and where or how you are able to meet. If it’s more of a feedback situation, include when you would need notes back by and how you would like to receive said notes. So,
“I am available Monday through Friday after 5pm to meet. Please let me know if you are interested and available within that schedule!”
“If you are interested, I would love the opportunity to get on a Zoom call with you to discuss feedback. I am available any time on weekends, and would prefer if you were able to get back to me by March 1st as I will need time to adjust the piece for the due date.”
Etc. etc.
              It’s important that you maintain a professional and friendly tone, even with people who have already agreed to help you. Some ways of asking for things that I have received that I find very discouraging are:
Disinterested
I got a request that was basically, “help me if you want, I don’t care it doesn’t matter to me either way.” If you don’t care, then why would I care? Only reach out to people you genuinely want to collaborate in some way with, and make clear that you are interested in working with them. We’re not trying to look cool and disinterested here.
Impatient
Everyone is busy all the time. If your person doesn’t reply right away, do not send a message back around the lines of, “um hello??” or “are you going to reply or not?” this comes across as pretty rude and a bit entitled to that person’s time and immediate attention. If your person doesn’t reply, you can send a follow up after a week, and maintain the same tone as in your initial email/message:
“Hi (name), this is a friendly follow-up on my request. If you have any additional questions for me, please let me know. I am also able to accommodate another time slot if needed. Thank you!”
As the asker, it is your job to be flexible. Of course, if your person can’t make your hard deadline or you really can’t make your schedules work, thank them anyway and move on, but if you are able to accommodate them, do so!
Here is an example email to start you off:
Hello (person’s name), My name is (blank) and I am a (major) student/graduate from (blank) University. We met at the (place) job fair last week, and I was really intrigued by your experience in (blah) industry. I was wondering if you would be available to meet with me sometime in the next week to discuss how you got started in the industry and your experience at (company). I am available between (time) and (time) (days of the week), but may be able to accommodate a different time if it would work better for you. Please let me know if you are interested! Thank you, (Full name)
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suzukiblu · 2 days ago
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WIP excerpt for lottie behind the cut; "a pocketful of Kons". (( chrono || non-chrono ))
. . . okay, so they were going to the Watchtower, Tim finds out literally on the Watchtower with his two-day go-bag hooked over one shoulder. Bruce literally did not even say they were walking into a disguised zeta tube until he activated the damn thing. Dick looks wry, his own go-bag over his shoulder, but also not all that surprised; Tim is definitely surprised, and also immediately mortified. Bruce brought them to the Watchtower? The Watchtower is full of people! People who will take one look at Stud and see Superman! See Superman and also almost definitely ask Stud’s name! 
And yes, obviously he’s going to need a fake one for him because secret identities exist for a reason, but the thing about being a Bat is, they use the fake names for their secret identities, because Bruce lives and breathes friggin’ 5D chess and is way more “Batman” than he’s ever been “Brucie”, so if anyone asks Tim will, in fact, have to tell them Stud’s actual name. Especially because he’s pretty much positive Stud will be a goddamn brat about it if he tries using a fake name for him anyway, given the other’s clear disdain for anything not a cape and S-shield. 
So yeah, the chances of at least one if not multiple of Earth’s greatest heroes looking him in the eye and asking him what his Pocket’s name is at some point in the next ten minutes are . . . not nonzero, put it that way. 
Tim seriously considers just finding the nearest airlock and hacking through the safety protocols in self-defense. 
Or maybe just the incinerator. There’s probably an incinerator somewhere on the Watchtower, right? There’s gotta be. 
Dick pats his shoulder sympathetically. Tim immediately feels worse, because if it’s that obvious how mortifying this whole experience is about to be for him, it’s going to be even more mortifying than that. 
“Codenames only,” Bruce makes a point of stating, not bothering to look back as he strides down the hall ahead, Cat all masked up and hidden under the fall of his cape. Which as a statement, obviously, is meant for Stud, but given how stubborn and contrary Stud’s been so far . . . 
“Please,” Tim hangs back to add under his breath as Dick heads after Bruce with Star and Red on his shoulders, Red in her own mask and Star not having bothered, for obvious reasons. Stud frowns, looking puzzled. 
“Rob?” he tries warily, still looking a little confused. 
“Right,” Tim agrees, resisting the urge to try convincing Stud to hide under his cape and just following after Dick and Bruce. Chances of Stud being willing to hide are unlikely, and it seems much more likely to annoy or upset him. So like–fight the battles you can win, and all. And avoid aggravating your tiny, unpredictable soulmate who isn’t actually Superman but sure does look like Superman. 
Tim really, really hopes that Stud is Supergirl, because that implies him being capable of turning into a form much easier to explain to his dad and also maybe at least not being just a guy, which is still something he doesn’t know how he really feels about. Even if it also implies Lex Luthor Junior being immediately relevant to the state of his love life. But he’s not really holding out much hope for that right now, considering . . . everything, basically. 
Though dealing with Luthor Junior might be better than dealing with the creepy cyborg guy, whoever he is. 
“Rob Rob Rob,” Stud chants happily to himself as he flies ahead to Red and she gives his head a pat, and Star flies over to meet him and gives him a big, body-squeezing hug, nuzzling into his curly hair as her own half-envelopes him. Stud crows delightedly and lunges into the hug to send them both tumbling through the air, and Star croons affectionately at him and swings him around as she hugs him harder, glowing sunlight-bright at the same time. Stud crows, and Tim hears Cat laugh lowly from inside Bruce’s cape. 
It’s–weird, sort of, Tim thinks for a moment, half-distracted and resisting the urge to frown to himself. The way the Pockets have been interacting, he means. Stud’s been aggressively flirty and boastful and constantly chattering on and on in Pocket-talk and is clearly trying to be charming while mostly being overbearing, which isn’t very much like either Supergirl or Superman and also should have at least Red annoyed with him, and most likely Cat too. 
Except Cat just seems to find Stud funny and Red sort of wryly accepts him, even though neither of them have much patience for anyone as loud and pushy and attention-demanding as Stud’s been acting. And Star flirts back with him a bit, but more playfully than anything else; she’s mostly treating him like she thinks he’s cute–like, cute like a puppy or a baby, not like another fully-grown sapient adult being. And they’re all putting up with behavior they usually wouldn’t tolerate from any man, for whatever reason. 
That’s . . . weird, yeah. 
Very weird. 
Tim frowns to himself after all, then immediately gets distracted by the mortifying experience of Stud zipping over to loop around Bruce’s head and chitter indignantly at him until Cat slips out of the shadows of his cape and purrs up at him. Stud lights up in unrestrained delight, then dives down and snatches her up to carry off back to Star and Red, crowing triumphantly as he does. Cat cackles and Starfire giggles and Red lets out a huffed little laugh of her own. 
Bruce at least ignores him and Dick muffles his own laugh, but Tim is still mortified. 
Stud looks back at him looking way too proud of himself, then chirps excitedly and holds Cat up in–like in display, almost, like he just won a prize or an award or something and is showing it off to him. Cat just chuckles indulgently and scritches him under the chin. 
. . . yeah, “weird” is actually not a strong enough word to go with here, probably. 
“Weird” is so not a strong enough word to go with here, in fact.
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SMT Boardgame Kickstarter Smells Like Suspicious Fish
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There's an SMT boardgame. Curb your enthusiasm, you shouldn't back it. And if you did, lower your pledge to like a buck until they clear things up, because as it stands it seems like an incredibly suspect product.
Checking through the Kickstarter comments and Japanese Tweets about the boardgame makes the entire thing seem poorly planned at best. I'll summarize as best I can;
The designer is incredibly infamous in the boardgame community
Naoki Matsunaga, a self-described "board game sommelier", is the designer. You'll find tweets lamenting that "the board game sommelier is involved". Why is he so hated? This thread goes into detail: co_boze on twitter. Part of it is they bashed Werewolf over one game they saw of it, another is they took on a kind of public-face role for boardgames appearing on late night TV shows to talk about them in ways that annoyed boardgamers. They seem to have designed a boardgame based on "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" which ripped off Sid Sackson's 'I'm the Boss". But it's what co_boze talks about next that's really bizarre. The game was apparently banned from most board game cafes and playing spaces. Seminars where people could play the game were hosted, but the venues that hosted these seminars all closed down.
If you keep looking through comments, you start finding claims that his company does multi-level marketing (ie pyramid schemes). To be honest, I don't know if this is true. But even if it isn't, it is really not hard to find people who know of this guy and would really really really REALLY prefer he was not involved.
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"Oh fuck, it's THIS guy" is not a reaction that inspires confidence
2. Questionable development and presentation issues.
A regular collaborator with Atlus recently tweeted "The use of AI in Atlus works or derivative works is stictly prohibited." He responded to a reply asking if this was about a board game.
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The staff running the SMT BG Kickstarter later clarified the actual -game- wouldn't use AI graphics... but from the looks of it, the promotional materials do.
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Dig that... generic metal pipe aesthetic. Nothing screams MegaTen like black plumbing to nowhere.
In totally unrelated news, a board game manufacturer recently tweeted that a Kickstarter used their name without permission, and they're not sure why.
Quote tweets on the post would suggest it was the SMT board game. The comment they are loosely referring to is this:
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In a follow-up post, they do specify "The product figures will be made of PVC." and "We will be manufacturing the games in partnership with a factory in China that has a proven track record... " "Figure director Kimura Yuzuru has over 10 years of experience..." and other boring development stuff that I have no issue with. What I do have issue with is how they can say things like they're "considering" which manufacturer to use and namedropping other companies that they're unrelated with. (While I was typing this post, they posted an update that clarified the CMON issue and literally nothing else: here.)
The boardgame is being presented with machine translated English printed on the same cards as the Japanese. But the actual game will have a translator check everything.
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they hire translators to localize all game content
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Additionally, there was a week long radio silence on the Kickstarter. For reference, Kickstarters are normally very active with the project planners dropping updates, responding to feedback and clearing up any concerns.
Some of the concerns were "How does the game actually play?", a question that would be best answered by dropping a rulebook for people to look at, or better yet showing them an entire run of the game. The SMT BG Kickstarter has boldly chosen neither. Devs have commented the game is on Version 11 and plays well, which makes it strange that they can't share any of it with anyone else.
Actually, when you compare this to how most Kickstarters are run, it becomes very clear the SMT BG Kickstarter is, uh, kinda failing in all possible regards. The first Backer Goal is "Jack Frost Dice" at 2000 backers (not funds raised, BACKERS). Despite getting 300%(!!!) of the initial pledge needed, there are no bonuses or unlocks.
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Mind, this lack of information comes after they already delayed the start to supposedly improve Backer Goals and other aspects.
There aren't a shortage of issues - it's ICREA's first boardgame (but not their first tango with SMT; they made the SMT30th Logo, for instance.) The timeline seems totally wack. The staff have been incredibly slow to respond. Cards with tiny font and two languages printed on them. Etc, etc. Maybe individually these issues wouldn't be too concerning. But all of them combined make the product seem incompetently run at best, and at worst an actual scam.
I'm hardly a big influencer in the SMT scene (my biggest contribution is when that fucking succubus gif gets 36k likes on Twitter every 5 months) but I haven't seen any English speaking sources discuss this in detail, when there really should be at least some noise about all of this. Still. if just one of you end up saving 600 bucks on what ends up being a trashfire carcrash project because of this post, then that'll have made the past 30 minutes of typing this shit worth it.
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thehoneybeet · 2 days ago
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this is a lovely discussion, and i love the concept of social recognition euphoria and same-hat intimacy, and i want to talk more about it, and what we mean when we say 'community'.
(@letteredlettered just made some very similar points in this post as I was drafting this, but i'll put this here anyway!)
going back to the initial post, i think i'm interpreting the Big Feelings somewhat differently than even the OP of that post. to me, this is not about comments or kudos, really, at all. it's about someone whose work was that 'same hat', same-aesthetic thing, who discovered that there was a whole private community of people same-hatting with each other about the author's work without extending that invitation to them. it's about realising there is a whole community of people who like the same things you like, who clearly adore your writing, who have the same hat, but have no interest or desire to have a hat-discussion with you about it. and that can hurt.
a comment is just an entry point into community. i have found community with some amazing people because of comments i've left on their fics, or comments they have left on mine. a comment, i think, isn't a goal in itself. it isn't the end - it's a beginning. it's a doorway.
whether a reader wants to open that door is up to them, as others have said better than i can. but that's not really what the root of this is about, to me. as others have said, quantifying kudos/comments is a poor substitute for the qualitative, soul-warming kind of witnessing and wet-braining that makes the fandom experience so wonderful. when you have a community who get your work, whose energy you can mingle with, it gets easier to not care about how many kudos or comments you have. and likewise, i think bad feelings surrounding kudos/comments are in a way, a facade for the the thing that hurts more - feeling the absence of that kind of connection.
as yiikes said, we aren't owed this nourishment, but i want to extend the conversation a bit into thinking more about how we create community with each other and other people we haven't met yet. what do we owe each other?
what they said at the end feels like the heart of things: "there are huge appetites for structures and practices in fandom that make that kind of intimacy easier for newcomers to find."
i've been here for a little while - longer than some, not as long as others. and lately, at least around my corner of things, i have seen a proliferation of a particular kind of fandom experience: the invite-only server, the private ao3 challenge, groups and experiences that you need to be in-the-know about to even begin to participate in. that, essentially, require an invitation.
these spaces can be wonderful, and there is absolutely room in fandom for these things. close friendships are some of the yummiest food in fandom. but often, the unintentional side effect of squeeing about these things publicly is that other people will see it (after the fact, at the end of challenge, etc.), and wonder how they too can participate, how they too can be inside, and they won't know. often, the view from the outside looks like a window, rather than a door.
i guess what i'm trying to say is that while we don't necessarily owe people comments, or conversations, or membership in our circles, i do think we owe each other to think about how we can engage in these things as kindly as possible. how we can make it easier for newcomers to ask to be invited in, how we can be more proactive about inviting, and most importantly, how we can encourage the kinds of community that don't require an invitation at all.
re - your last post, as a writer i find that to be an absurd take. people who write exclusively for validation probably shouldn't. if discovering your work is enjoyed and loved - just privately - is a dealbreaker for you, i think there are probably bigger issues that need to be worked through. the idea that we write fic for free and yet this discussion about "payment" through kudos/comments persists is so backwards and obnoxious.
sorry to tag you on this, obv you have nothing to do with op, but i just wanted to say - as a writer recs are a HUGE deal. to know that you liked something enough to share it with others is the biggest compliment for me personally. thanks for doing what you do.
I’m happy you reached out because this is a really interesting perspective. I definitely see increased messaging around comments = payment that pressures readers into thinking they are required to leave comments, and I agree that there are many layers in this convo that point out to a not-so-healthy relationship with fandom.
I find it hard to join this discussion not being an author myself, because I only have the privileged perspective. Ofc I understand how important feedback can be to boost newcomers and those who don’t feel part of the community. We all deal with insecurity in different ways and it’s hard to navigate a big fandom when you don’t have a group of friends to rely on. In the end the fandom experience is about a sense of belonging and it saddens me to realize that I might be part of the problem since my recs only reach Tumblr and my ao3 comments are far and few in between.
It’s funny because my blog has always targeted other readers: at the beginning I didn’t even tag authors and did not expect them to find or engage with my posts. Over the years the recs became more and more personal, until I realized I was writing them for myself. Sure, they are love letters to the fic and might help more people find them, but at the end of the day this is my little therapy corner where I can let go and babble around to my heart’s content 🙏🏼 I’ve always been proud of this blog and seeing that post gave me mixed feelings about it for the first time, so thank you for your message!
Again, I think this discussion has many layers and I’m a bit wary to get involved being a humble reader, but I’d be curious to see how others feel about it…
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decaffeinatedcandycane · 1 day ago
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Random COD headcanons - AU
Ghost likes to mess with the thermostat. He keeps the room warm and watch as the recruits squirm in their seats. He wonders if someone will ever ask him to change the tempreture?
Price blames whoever is near the thermostat for the change in tempreture and "threatens" them.
Soap started food fight and when caught, blamed it on a banana peel.
Kyle steals confiscated products and return them back to the owners for favors.
One time Soap fell in the showers and the boys made prison jokes for a week.
Rorke used to work in the same summer camp where Graves spend his vacations. If Rorke was younger, they would have met.
Kyle misses a toe from a firework accident, when he was a teen. Told his mom an enemy soldier ripped it off.
Captain Price and Ghost met when they were sergents. They were briefly in the same base and bonded after Ghost fought of a dude and the captain covered for him.
Keegan and Ghost in the same room is hilarious. They have a bet who can make the most people unsettled in a month.
Roach talks to the stars whenever is alone in nature. He recites them poetry.
König clothes are handmade. He refuses to go to a store and try on different clothes, because of his size, small dressing rooms and the lack of choices.
Nikto hates cheese, so he lies to people he is lactose intolerant and have to use their bathroom, whenever they make fun of him for it. They never do again.
Roach eats cookies and chocolate milk before bed. He also watches cartoons with Soap and Gaz.
Captain Mactavish leaves his door unlocked, when he feels touch starved, in case, someone wants to snuggle with him. Mostly Ghost and Roach.
Roach will give you kiss goodnight, if you do not lock your door.
Sergent Soap is a dog for cleavage. Captain Mactavish prefers ass. Show them both and they will follow you around like puppies.
Price sends himself flowers and pretends a secret admirer did. The boys poked fun at him, so he scared the shit out them by writing "from Makarov" onto the card.
Nikolai eats only homemade food and makes his own alcohol. He has excellent survival skills and can Nara Smith his way in every situation. He shops in expensive stores, but tests the products on others before purchase.
Kyle has a PhD and can be an elementary school teacher.
Rorke hates every exotic fruit and fragrance that he comes across. He complains when something is not authentic and backs up his claims with a highly traumatic personal experience from his slavery.
Captain Mactavish smokes the rival brand cigars to Captain Price. They often glare at each other whenever one of them is smoking.
König often forgets and bites his food through his mask. Then, he rips a hole where his mouth is because he is amongst people and his pride refuses to accept defeat.
Horangi listens to people conversations and uses some stories as his own, to get out of stuff.
Simon can't read well. He had a stutter when he was young, was made fun off, so he went mute for few years. Never liked reading books anyway. Learned to say the entire alphabet in order in his late 17s.
Price faked a heart attack to get out of an important social event. Laswell caught him, so he bribed doctors to tell he has anxiety.
Soap is the messiest, not dirty except if he plays outside, bastard ever. Unless he is stressed. Then he is the mom with the coasters.
Soap has a pink apron and wears it while he does laundry, to cover up. Yes, he is fully naked. Captain Mactavish does the same thing.
Both Mactavish soldiers are close and give each other advice. They accept themselves as the same person.
Alejandro talks nonsense with Spanish sounding when he gets bored. Says they are special Spanish words.
Rudy is obsessed with pasta. If he is in a room with pasta, he will take continuous glances at it and take a plate as soon as he can. This is how Alejandro sucks up to him when he fucks up - with food.
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squeeb100 · 2 days ago
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I'm trying to parse through why I don't like Jayvik as a romantic ship, and thought I could type it up to maybe offer a counterpoint to people who are writing this viewpoint off as homophobic or ableist. Yes absolutely those are reasons people might not love this ship, but I don't believe either of them is a reason I don't.
So. Heads-up for some Jayvik negativity and some other general criticism of the energy in the fandom (I'm not gonna try to be nasty but I am, by the very conceit of this post, going to have opinions), and a disclaimer that if Jayvik makes you feel seen or happy or anything else that's not bad and I'm not saying this ship is bad and you need to stop talking about it and liking it. I'm just saying I, an individual person, don't particularly care for romantic interpretations of these two, and I don't interpret their interactions as romantic or sexual.
Actually before I talk about anything at all I really like this post and this person has said things a lot of things smarter and better than I will about sex and sexuality and Jayce and Viktor https://www.tumblr.com/ohnoitstbskyen/768136874376232960/asking-sincerely-do-you-see-a-romance-between?source=share
I feel like I'm within the Jayvik demographic. Viktor is my favorite character in Arcane, despite quibbles with how he was handled. For over half my life my major OTP has been KuroFai, which has a pretty similar vibe (storywise, not characterwise) to Jayvik in the back half of the series they're from. The are-they-aren't-they discourse surrounding them was also quite similar for many years. I'm not gonna talk about them really, but here they are.
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[image: an illustration of Kurogane and Fai from the manga Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle. Fai is a light-haired man with blue eyes, waving at the viewer with a relaxed expression. He has an arm around Kurogane, who is a grumpy-looking dark-haired man with red eyes and Fai's arm covering his mouth]
I'll admit to not having an incredibly good story reason that Jayvik SHOULDN'T be a thing, and I'm not going to present a good analysis really because I think I need to rewatch Arcane more than once to really have a solid grasp of it or a good read of the things that went "right" or "wrong" with the storytelling. This is literally my feelings-based opinion.
I like the idea that Jayce and Viktor have a deep-running love for each other that maybe defies attempts to define it as just friendship or brotherhood or romance or anything. I personally thought, in their final scene together, that the forehead touch was a far more heart-tugging, raw display of intimacy than a kiss would have been, and I genuinely didn't want them to kiss. I hope I've established that this is not because I don't like the idea of men kissing.
This may derive from the fact that I, like everyone, experience attraction in an individual way. For me, to extant, not-fictional people, almost never. I'm not uninterested in the idea of a life partner, and in fact would really like to have a person who I love more than anything in the world to go through life's hardships with, but I have rarely found an individual who I was interested in "romantically." I didn't experience adolescence the same way many of my friends did, and don't experience attraction to others in a way that seems "typical," if we can really define anything or anyone as typical. I have not been in a romantic relationship, not for lack of chances and not because I don't care about people - I have family and friends who I love very very much.
I think it is beautiful, the idea that two people can love each other, and support each other, and be soulmates and die together --- and not be in what mainstream society defines as "romantic love." If you want them to fuck nasty on the lab table that's okay too.
The second reason/cluster of reasons I don't really like romantic Jayvik is a little bit bitter and jaded and I'm sorry. It's the energy in the fandom and I can feel myself being pushed further into a stubborn opinion by the fact that I find this frustrating.
(I am putting on my "hypocrite" shirt)
Arcane has a really diverse cast. There are lots of women. There are lots of nonwhite characters. There are multiple prevalent, plot-important, kickass black characters. There is a canon wlw couple who make out on screen and then definitely fuck offscreen.
I know Jayce isn't necessarily meant to be white. Other than that. I think the fact that the Arcane tag is overwhelmingly Jayvik is just a little suspect. I told you it was a little bit bitter and jaded. I am not seeing the same level of fanart and analysis of specifically women and black characters, and I think that's an interesting energy this fandom is bringing to the table. I am not exempt from this criticism.
The longstanding argument that the reason we don't see more obsession with sapphic ships and characters who aren't (white) men is the lack of them in source material is feeling really hollow right now.
Anyway that's my two cents about Jayvik and if people care, cool, and if they don't, that's also cool. Please refrain from speculating about my sexuality in the comments. Peace and love.
Go donate to a palestininan, sudanese, congolese or lebanese family if you're able. Consider a donation to the Native American Rights Fund or another reputable organization, this week and always. In the wake of this election, you might consider mutual aid programs to help people in and around your community. It's cathartic to get drawn into fandom discourse, but there are bigger fish to fry.
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sammyluvr · 3 days ago
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tfem!sam x tmasc!reader headcanons
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cw : tmasc!reader, fluff, mentions of dysphoria and maybe a bit of transphobia too, messy and might not makes sense by they are my favorite it so idc <3, 1.3K words. requested !
summary : just trans love hehe <3
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✶.◟ being so enamored with each other from a distance at first <33
✶.◟ like really really admiring the way the other looks, their smile, the way they just shine when they feel comfortable in their body
✶.◟ you probably wishing you could have her broad frame and height, maybe her wishing she had some of your features too
✶.◟ but just always feeling so much more admiration than envy, especially because you see each other for who the other is, even before knowing each other too well
✶.◟ it’s easy to imagine the two of you meeting a stanford, being mutual friends with jess and always eyeing each other during group handouts
✶.◟ jess making sure the two of you spend time together because she knows for a fact that you’d be the cutest couple out there <33 she’s a real one
✶.◟ just a very sweet college romance where you really get each other through all the tough exams
✶.◟ and, despite the fact that california’s more accepting than anywhere else sam’s been, dealing with unkind people and straight up transphobes ://
✶.◟ but seriously, there probably aren’t that many trans people that the two of you come across besides each other at that time, so you’re the perfect support system for each other
✶.◟ because in a pretty literal sense, you’re the only ones who genuinely understand the other when they have a bad experience with someone, are feeling dysphoric, or euphoric!!
✶.◟ and as long as you both can remember, relationships have felt so tricky to navigate on this end of things, and it’s so nice to not have to worry about that
✶.◟ there’s no feeling of being stuck or confused or unable to talk about gender with your partner, and it makes it feel really natural and a lot easier than other times to be with her <3
✶.◟ and pretty much all of this applies obviously to if you met somewhere else, for example if you were both hunters!
✶.◟ it’s makes a lot of sense that it’s probably almost impossible to find openly trans hunters
✶.◟ so to meet each other in a situation where you’re already so separated from the rest of the world, especially fellow queer and trans people, is like an oasis in a bleak desert
✶.◟ for years and years, or maybe just forever, neither of you have had someone who’s understood you to this level; a hunter or even just someone with knowledge of the supernatural and trans
✶.◟ so you spend time talking, gradually becoming each other’s outlet not just about gender but about almost anything at all
✶.◟ turns out, you just love talking to each other, and to have the deepened level of understanding for the other creates a really strong bond and trust
✶.◟ there’s a high chance you start hunting together
✶.◟ and eventually you gain a good friend in dean as well (poor man takes a hot moment to adjust. he’s such a creature of habit <3)
✶.◟ but however you meet there’s just so much love and support in your relationship
✶.◟ being such a great comfort to each other when you’re feeling dysphoric
✶.◟ calling her your pretty girl to make her blush and feel nice <3
✶.◟ and she’ll call you her pretty or handsome boy back and it’s so :,) because her voice is so soft and sweet
✶.◟ and sometimes she’s all shy when she says it, other times her voice is confident like she knows she’s sweeping you off your feet every time she says something like that
✶.◟ just the simple act of being with her and spending time together is affirming in it of itself
✶.◟ there’s so much comfort in being with each other and understanding each other
✶.◟ knowing you can come to her when you need to be affirmed and that she’ll give it to you even when you don’t ask
✶.◟ and then feeling so much joy from doing the same for her
✶.◟ “pretty” is probably the most used word in your vocabulary because you spend every second calling her pretty because of this or that or for no reason
✶.◟ her wearing your jackets over her long dresses and you internally going a little feral about it <33
✶.◟ she’s probably also probably blushing about it she loves that sort of thing soooo much ugh
✶.◟ kissing her extra hard when she wears your clothes heh
✶.◟ sorry but i did accidentally think about casually patting her ass sometimes <33
✶.◟ it’s just so cute there’s no way to physically resist that sort of thing especially when she blushes like that
✶.◟ but let’s be honest she’ll get you back and she’ll have the cutest little smug smirk about it
✶.◟ actually though just imagine the gender euphoria of her calling you her boyfriend T_T sobbing
✶.◟ along with calling her pretty girl and of course your girlfriend… calling her “my girl”
✶.◟ she’d be sooooo pleased with that and sooo shy about it and wow she just super duper loves it
✶.◟ wagh holding her by her waist <333 tugging her close by her belt loops or tucking your hand into the back pocket of her jeans
✶.◟ thinking about putting little braids in her hair sigh or doing her makeup for her
✶.◟ and just in general both supporting and encouraging and participating in all the things that you both like/need for gender euphoria
✶.◟ her reminding you to take breaks from your binder if you wear one and making sure you still always feels as comfortable as you can without it, at least when you’re around her
✶.◟ so many kisses and reassurances from her when you feel dysphoric, but also the understanding that, though the affirmation helps and means a lot, it doesn’t fix it sometimes
✶.◟ so she’s simply there with you and will hold you sweetly as you as you go through it
✶.◟ and of course you’re there to do the same for her
✶.◟ it’s so comforting for the both of you to know that, even when there’s people who  don’t see you the way you want to be perceived, you’ve got each other and you see each other for exactly how you are and want to be seen
✶.◟ i also like to imagine meeting before one or the other’s transitioned or not knowing that the other is trans too
✶.◟ and you get along immediately and it’s so sweet and nice
✶.◟ but maybe our sweet girl is worried about you finding out that she’s trans
✶.◟ not because she doesn’t think you’d be unkind to her about it but she’s not sure you’d still like her romantically (because you’re totally flirting with her these days)
✶.◟ and as you continue to get closer and closer she starts to feel guilty because she feels like she’s hiding something so huge (and because who’s sam without some good old christian guilt <3)
✶.◟ so one day she pulls you aside and comes out to you, looking all nervous and worried
✶.◟ and you’re just like :,) so you gently take your hands in yours and assure her that she has no reason to be so nervous or hold that guilt that you see in her eyes
✶.◟ before you come out to her too, you make sure that she knows you care about her no matter what
✶.◟ and you also really understand her and you understand her hesitation as well because you’re in the same boat
✶.◟ there was already so much relief the moment she told you and the moment you were so sweet and accepting about it
✶.◟ but when she realizes that you’re trans too there’s a whole other level of relief because she suddenly feels so much closer to you and doesn’t have to worry about explaining herself to you
✶.◟ if she’s or you or both aren’t transitioned yet, when you’re ready, you help each other along the way in whatever is needed most
✶.◟ you buy her dresses and drool over her in them with such sincerity that she immediately feels extra good in them
✶.◟ and whatever way you like to dress, she’ll love it so much and always be sure you feel good about it
✶.◟ she’s just really really sweet and caring :(( and always makes sure you know that you’re the most handsomest boy in the world to her <33
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ofspvrta · 3 days ago
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Sometimes people are halves of a two-piece puzzle. They just fit together no matter how they come together. Like they were always meant to be. Time couldn't even separate them. Kassandra never knew as a young woman that she would live so impossibly long, Evie probably never imagined she would experience Ancient Greece in such an incredibly hands-on way. They were always meant to meet, she genuinely believes that.
Kassandra exhales sharply through her nose, pain is temporary, no matter how intense. It was always temporary. But isn't everything? The world never stays the same, countries rise and fall, empires crumble, and new ones build up in their place. The only thing that remains is Kassandra. She's the only constant thing on this damned Earth. Evie traces her marks again and her eyes close in a moment of peace.
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Evie can do a considerable amount of damage, but never intentionally to her. Last night was a fluke, an outside influence driving her to a moment of madness, a loss of control. Of self. The majority of the damage done to her was the cultists and their leader, that fucking Tall Man. But Evie, no, that wasn't Evie who hurt her, it was the artifact driving her that did. Any rising anger in Kassandra as her thoughts circle back to that vile man abates when Evie kisses her markings. To be loved like this, for even what makes her so inhuman in some ways, it means everything.
Oh, there's that tone. "Listen..." she interjects, knowing a chiding is coming. She had presented it so casually, too. Just a side note to the main story of having lost her head in the very literal sense. And the fact that she has her original skull squirreled away somewhere. "It does, doesn't it? I can't do anything in a normal manner, sorry." She says, keeping her tone light. But she suspects Evie wouldn't have her any other way.
"Don't be. We'll be alright." Kassandra whispers back, letting herself rest against Evie. As Evie speaks, Kassandra reaches out to gently grab her arm, golden eyes capturing her changed eyes. "I love you, nothing will ever change that. No one is going to take that from us. Okay?"
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THEY CAN KEEP REPEATING IT , YOU KNOW . it stays the same. evie knows how to love kassandra. kassandra knows how to love evie. THAT IS WHAT MAKES THEM SPECIAL . that is what keeps them happily married for as long as life will allow them. the hand with the wedding band is actually currently resting on kassandra's strong trapes , that comfortable little area between neck and shoulder. perfect for a small hand.
evie really only pauses to give kassandra a moment after the pain. blue eyes find the markings on kassandra's already golden skin , trace them without either of her hands moving. at least for a few seconds , then she cleans up the rest of the spot as good as she can. it'll still need to be brushed out.
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and as much as ... she can't hurt kassandra , there's a dreaded feeling that isn't the same for anyone else. she's just ... mated to kassandra , or some other animalistic term for this corruption that feels like , overall , it is animal kingdom basis. the backs of evie's fingers just run along kassandra's shoulder. she leans in , presses a soft kiss to one of kassandra's glowing lines. IT LINGERS FOR A FEW SECONDS , evie's eyes closed.
" kassandra ... " evie breathes out , there's the chastising. SHE COULDN'T HOLD THAT IN ANY LONGER . but mostly because evie was empathetic enough to understand the dire longing and pain in that otherwise not very human story. the inability to rest is tragic and it doesn't even truly take empathy to understand that. " that sounds like you. " a whisper against kassandra's cheek , above that glowing line.
" i'm sorry , " evie just whispers again. whether that was for the lack of rest or the events that just transpired is up in the air. " i'm going to go get what things we currently have together for when you're ready to leave. you just heal. "
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bisnes-socks · 1 day ago
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don't mind me, below the cut is just me trying to somehow verbalise how much i love mesto duhov on a molecular and also astral levels and also trying my best to not actually cry about it.
i'm going to start with a weird tangent but.
back in the early days of covid i talked with a friend of mine how the panic around us made us, as deeply anxious people, feel more balanced somehow. she was in france, i was in finland, but the experience was the same: the anxiety in the world suddenly matched the anxiety inside us. it was somehow a new exeprience, to feel at balance, even if the reason for it was not so good.
but this, this song, is a good reason to feel at balance, and good god, that's exactly what this song does to me. i don't know how they made a song that matches something in my soul, but they did. and the reason why i started off with a weird covid tangent is because there is incredible pain in this song that matches something in the feeling of being alive to me. and to have it turned into music and played back to me is a moment of balance unlike any other, because suddenly feeling the things you feel don't make you so unbelievably lonely anymore.
there are other songs in the world that sound and feel like they vibrate in the exact same frequency as my soul, but i haven't discovered a new one in years. but mesto duhov is exactly that.
i don't usually go into joker out lyrics because i don't speak slovene or serbian, and so i leave analysing them to those who do. but this time i just want to say, that i looked up translations and not only does the music vibrate on the frequency of my soul, the lyrics are exactly what i've been feeling, what i've been witnessing, and what i've been working with for a while now. i don't want to go too much into my personal life on tumblr dot com, but the disappearance of imagination, of life, of joy, of things worth living for, are something that i've been working with on every level of my life this year, both on a personal and professional level.
this song is just this exact moment in my life right now. this is it. and it feels so oddly calming to me. because it feels like someone else sees it too.
and it's strange because once again, they have written a song that feels like i've heard it before, but i haven't. i'd know if i had ever heard anything like it, but i haven't. of course i hear the influences, but they feel irrelevant to me with this one. it's like there are moments in the song that almost take me back to like idk 2010 or something, but the nostalgia never gets a hold of me, it doesn't stick. it's almost nostalgic but it isn't, because this is now. it just feels like, when the song comes on, it's just....right. yes, that's the one, that's the song, that's the feeling, this is right.
the contrast between the agony of the verses and the resigned serenity of the pa pa pa pa paa... it's balance, it's right, it's real. it's also brilliant composing and songwriting. this song is so interesting, so captivating, so memorable. it goes from one feeling to another in a way that is striking but makes sense. 
they introduce the intesity of the verses straight off the bat, and then the quieting down and subsequent sudden stop with "pod nogami se trese / zapihal je veter, da vse nas odnese" is actually something quite familiar from rock music - you know to expect something different for the chorus. but you do not know to expect what actually happens, like it's a different song suddenly. and then they build back up to the intensity of the verses with great skill and attention to details and vibes.
the melody in "mimo mene lebdijo sami žalostni ljudje / nazaj v nostalgijo včerajšnjega dne" has to be one of the most beautiful melodies i've heard. something about it feels very familiar, very home-like, just again, very right. but it also makes me instantly emotional, even before i ever read a translation for the lyrics. just the melody alone. and bojan's vocal performance, which is absolutely top tier through the entire song. his ability to convey emotion really comes through with this one, and i'm in awe of him for it.
the instrumentation in the song is just brilliant.  the pa pa pa pa pa section is made up of sounds that bring childrens music into mind, it's full of whimsical and fun sounds, that in this context feel incredibly bittersweet and quite sad. the different guitar sounds and effects in the song, for example the sound that opens the song vs. the solo sound, bring amazing versatility and depth to the straight forward intensity of the verses. the drums portray the frustration and pent-up energy caused by the themes. the bass sound almost cocoons all of it into one and almost makes this song a physical place to exist in.
it's all brilliance from beginning to end. except once again, i wish the song went on much longer, and i miss it as soon as it begins to fade.
and i'm usually not one to loop songs. but this one i'd easliy loop all day, all week, all month, all year, my whole life, because somehow this song makes it easier to be, to breathe, to exist and to make peace with existing. 
needless to say it's my favourite track on the album, my song of the year, and quite possibly one of my favourite songs of all time ever.
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tommykinard217 · 2 days ago
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Monday motivation
Okay it is definitely no longer Monday but only by 30 minutes so it's fiiiineee. Anyways, have the first 600 ish words of that bucktommy s1 au. Yes I decided to include Abby, but who knows, I could completely rewrite this and take her out entirely. Or I could still write a s1 au without Abby and still write this. The world is my literary oyster lmao.
Buck had no idea what to expect when he called Abby, saying he was going to help her find her mom. Obviously, Abby was gorgeous, but also was going through a serious crisis, and he was promising to put his prior antics to bed. So to speak. 
He knew that it was going to be a rough day, and that finding Patricia wasn't going to be easy. 
But he didn't expect the knock at the door when Abby, Carla, and himself were trying to make a game plan. And neither, it seemed, did Abby. 
He stayed at the table with Carla, focusing more on the maps to try to get a decent idea of where to start, but he couldn't help but to be curious. Besides, the table wasn't exactly that far from the door.
“Tommy? What are you doing here?” Abby asked, seemingly confused. He looked up and saw Abby with her arms crossed. He couldn't exactly see the other figure in the doorway from this angle, but from the way Abby was looking up, he was probably around Buck’s own height. 
“You sent me a text. Patricia is missing? I know I'm probably the last person you want helping you but I actually have some experience with search and rescue. And I care about Patricia too, Abby. Even after everything between us.” 
Oh god. An ex? Was he going to try to win Abby back? Buck had no clue exactly what was going on between him and Abby, but he did really like her. He didn't want some asshole ex ruining things before they even started. But also, him stating he had search and rescue experience piqued Buck’s curiosity. Was he also a first responder? A cop, maybe? 
“You have search and rescue experience via a helicopter, Tommy. That's not exactly the same as doing it on foot.” Actually, that probably made him even more badass, though Buck hated to admit it. He could already feel his hackles rising at the mere thought of this Tommy dude helping. Which definitely made him an asshole considering any help was needed when it came to finding Abby’s mom.
Abby seemed to come to the same conclusion right before Tommy replied with whatever he was going to try to say to convince Abby to take him back. Or find her mom. Or both. Buck was starting to feel a little irrational already. 
“Fine. We need all the help we can get and we're wasting time standing in my doorway. I've already created a general radius of where she could have gotten in the nine hours she was gone.” 
Abby started walking over, Tommy in tow, and Buck couldn't help but stare. This was Abby’s ex? The man could have been sculpted by the Gods if he didn't know any better. Tall, built like a brick house. He even had a cleft. Man was basically Superman. And Buck had to compete with that? 
“And who are you?” Carla had said, breaking the slightly awkward silence that had built when Abby brought Tommy over. She looked him over appreciatively and honestly, Buck couldn't help but do the same. He was allowed to admire another guy, even if he was technically competition. 
Tommy had smiled slightly, a crooked little grin that Buck hated to admit was charming. “I'm Tommy. Abby's ex.” 
Carla’s eyes narrowed. “The guy who dumped her because she was taking care of the very woman we’re trying to find?” 
Tommy looked taken aback by the statement, and when Buck looked at Abby, she looked…sheepish was probably the best word, honestly. Tommy looked over at Abby, seemingly hurt. 
“That's what you're telling people? That I broke things off because of Patricia?” There was a hint of steel to Tommy's voice, checked in anger and hurt. “Damn, I knew I hurt you but I didn't realize you'd paint me as a total dick for it. You didn't seem the type. But I guess neither of us actually knew each other, huh? Anyways. We're here to find Patricia. You can clear things up later. Or not.” 
Abby looked regretful, and like she wanted to say more on the subject, but Tommy was right that time was being wasted on this. 
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preet-01 · 2 days ago
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For the ask game
A Heart is Drawn Around Your Name!
A Heart Drawn Around Your Name is wag Daniel, but Max doesn't really come into the story until the end since he's the final relationship - the one that finally works out.
Daniel didn’t seek out Formula 1 drivers to fuck or date. 
Despite what the media and fans said – which they said a lot – Daniel didn’t chase after them. He didn’t jump from one to the next as the championship contenders changed and different teams began their dominant years. He didn’t actively seek out Formula 1 drivers, nor did he prey on single drivers in the hopes of getting back into the paddock. Hell, he probably would be perfectly fine never stepping foot in there. He didn’t go after drivers on the up and he didn’t drop the drivers on a downward spiral. 
He had never chased the drivers he dated or occasionally fucked around with. But when they would come up to him with some god-awful pickup line that inadvertently would make him laugh hysterically and promises of everlasting love that almost always ended up with Daniel serving his hand on a golden platter. 
Even when he’d known better, Daniel had never been good at saying no to the men who flirted with him and gave him hopes of something great. While Daniel hadn’t chased Formula 1 drivers, he had always chased happiness and everlasting love. He could never say no to a man who wanted him and wasn’t afraid to show just how much. He could never deny someone who was willing to risk it all just to be with him. 
Unfortunately, that, in his experience, tended to be detrimental to himself and no one else. At the end of the day, he always seemed to be the one the drivers chose for a good time not a long time. 
A hopeless romantic, his family said every time he introduced them to a new boyfriend, a new driver that had shown him a future of love and happiness. They’d always said it with cautious smiles and hopeful eyes that maybe this time they wouldn’t be the ones who had to pick up the pieces. A whore, the media and fans said every time he walked into the paddock in the arms of a different driver. From his very first appearance in the world of Formula 1, the path had been set for him in their eyes. Let it last, he begged whichever higher power that listened. Always desperately praying that for once Daniel would be enough, that someone out there would want to spend the rest of their life with him. Praying that for once they wanted him for more than just a few months together, for his heart and not what they could get from his body. 
____
Max had been 19 when he first saw Daniel. 
Dressed in red and on the arm of Sebastian Vettel, Daniel had shone like the sun and Max had been the sunflower following behind him. 
He hadn’t known who Daniel was then, nothing other than someone that Sebastian was dating, but others knew Daniel. They knew of Daniel, they had things to say about Daniel – some good, but a lot of bad that Max couldn’t reconcile with the man he saw nervously standing with Sebastian’s friends in the Ferrari garage. 
Though the most common thing people said was: you don’t wanna get involved in all of that, he’ll drop you the minute he’s had his fun.
Max was never one to follow blindly, so he does his own research. 
One of the mechanics had given him a name and Google was a wonderful thing. 
Daniel Ricciardo Formula 1
The earliest article is one that concerns Red Bull and Daniel wearing what looks like a 2007 Red Bull race suit alongside Mark Webber. From there it quickly devolves into the territory of extramarital affairs and gay cheating scandals and Mark’s vow renewal that year. 
Then comes Jenson and a bevy of pictures with the two of them in scandalous positions. The playboy and the homewrecker is what the press refers to them as. And by the time the next season of F1 starts, Daniel’s not to be seen and Jenson’s whoring his way around the party scenes. 
There aren’t any articles of Daniel and Lewis, but he does see pictures of them at the same events. 
2017 is when the Sebastian and Daniel relationship begins. 
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the-one-and-only-taffie · 20 hours ago
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dude it's like you and I shARE THE SAME BRAIN LIKENASKJAMA AHHHHHHH
I have already gathered so many other headcanons about them and even a possible scenerio/fic type of deal, but I shall save those for another time
Anyway, the main deal about these two is that as much as they liked to pretend, they don't actually love each other. Main reason, they are at a point in their lives where they aren't capable of it. Sentinel cause he's looking out for #1. White because she doesn't have the experience, knowledge, or probably even the ability to love in the way necessary for a functional and fulfilling romantic relationship.
What the two see in each other isn't someone they would want to spend the rest of their immortal lives with. Hell, they don't even like each other most of the time. They just see each other as a way to boost their own egos and prove to themselves their inherent superiority. Sentinel is very aware that he only sees White as an item to bolster his status, especially when he has to legitimize his rule after betraying the Primes. However, he can't help expressing fondness for her, even if it's only when she does or says something that makes him look good in front of the populous. White, however, genuinely believes she loves Sentinel. Her love language is bringing out the best in people by correcting what she believes to be their flaws. This is what she did with The Diamonds, especially Pink, and it's what she'll do with Sentinel. She knows the way she treated them was wrong and that this exact habit of hers is what led to Pink running away. This is why instead of fixating on Sentinel's flaws, as you said, she'll instead shower him with compliments and encourage the behaviors she believes is good. She doesn't at all see how this isn't better. She's doing the same thing again in a different coat of shiny paint, but hasn't yet introspected and noticed this. So she keeps on, even when it drives Sentinel to madness and brings out the worst in White.
When you mentioned that she "proved herself to be terrifying when mad," I immediately thought about a scenario where they're arguing as usual, Sentinel is fed up with White's "critiques" while White is acting like the bigger person and speaking to him like a detached, observant therapist who is only missing a writing pad and a pen. Sentinel in his foolish hubris goes for a cheap shot, maybe pointing out that she failed her own family. White in what feels like an instant, her face goes completely red and she unleashes her temper in one fit of rage. She goes off the deep end and woaaaaah the look on Sentinel's face would be priceless! Her booming voice echoing off the walls, her stomping the floor so hard as she paces around the room making it shake like an earthquake (cyberquake?). Honestly the poor bot would be knocked over by the force of White's scolding alone and she'd still keep going. Once she's done, she'd go back to being calm like nothing happened and she'd go "Whoops, hehe, sorry you had to see me like that. What I meant was I thoroughly understand you and acknowledge your input. However, my dear, I strongly disagree. I still respect you and what you have to say. I didn't spook you too much, did I?" And Sentinel is trembling as he slides himself off the floor using the wall like "Oh, nah, I'm fine, totally ok, yup, great discussion there, haha, but i got a meeting to go to so im going to go like now" and once he's back on his pedes he books it out of the room. Sentinel makes a mental note to never piss her off that badly again. White Diamond continues on as if she didn't just scold her boyfriend like an impudent child.
On a more wholesome note, YES YES DOUBLE DECKER YES to Sentinel taking White Diamond to the surface of Cybertron! She asks many questions about it, some he doesn't provide answers to for classified reasons. Speaking of classified reasons, Sentinel always has Airachnid and his drones accompany them in secret to notify him when Quintessons are near and to help him steer her clear of anything incriminating. As she enjoys the view, White laments how in her empire's conquest to spread her view of perfection, she destroyed so many beautiful sights like the one she sees on Cybertron. Sentinel tries to cheer her up by telling her the planets after being colonized by gems must look just as wonderful, if not more, than the way they did before. She just says she appreciates his attempts at comfort, but she says she's learned better than to find beauty in the destruction of life. Sentinel rolls his eyes. I bet in White's attempts to come off as humble, she frequently dismisses or shuts down Sentinel's compliments, especially in regards to her past or the parts of herself she believes are flaws.
But yea on the more silly side I find it so funny how their attraction to each other supercedes their incompatiblity. Like "This glitch/clod is annoying but at least she/he is hot" LMAO. The only time they seem to be at their most functional is when they're chilling together in silence.
Back with more White Diamond x Sentinel Prime crackship nonsense baby!!!
Ever since I first thought about these goobers, I haven't known a single day of peace (mostly cause the ideas are just racking around in my brain)
So here's a list of headcanons I came up with for Prime Diamond! If you have any questions regarding this ship, my ask box is open. Double if you have any thoughts or anything to add, go on ahead! I hope y'all enjoy!
I may make a part 2 when I come up with more lol
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For this relationship to even be possible (as possible as a crackship between two characters from completely different franchises can be), it will have to take place Post-Steven Universe Finale/Future when White Diamond is in her therapy, self-help guru era. And when Sentinel Prime is... alive.
Also, I have been trying to do research regarding this but since the results are so inconsistent, I'm gonna assume White Diamond is around 80 to 90 ft tall and Sentinel is around 60 (based on how he's double Orion Pax's height and apparently TF One Orion is around 33 ft tall). If you know their actual canonical heights or anything close to that, please lemme know!
As mentioned in a reblog, White Diamond would take an interest in Sentinel Prime as a sort of little DIY project. Though he tries to hide it, White with her supernatural intuitiveness can tell there's more to him than meets the eye (he's an asshole). Having been inspired by Steven to see the worth and beauty in imperfections, she wants to give someone like Sentinel a chance like Steven did for her. Though she is making genuine strides to improve upon her previous controlling and obsessive behavior regarding perfection, this aspect of her will resurface in her attempts "fix" Sentinel while in a relationship with him. She adores and finds much interest in his "positive imperfections," but helping him improve on his more negative ones wouldn't hurt, right?
Other reasons she developed an attraction to him is for the same reason all the Sentinel fangirls did: he's just so... pathetic. When he tries to impress her with stories of battles he's never fought in and gives her a tour of his treasure room full of artifacts he didn't discover, she can tell he's trying way too hard to impress her. She finds this cute and charming rather than douchey and desperate.
Sentinel Prime pursued her because, as stated in a previous reblog, "his diva ass was always going to try and seek out a gem fit for a king." He laid his eyes on an 80-90 ft giant alien rock woman and thought,"I need her." As any sane person would. She was supposed to be nothing more than another symbol of wealth for him to show off to the other elites and officials of Iacon City to further cement the royal image he works so hard to maintain. He definitely underestimated how overwhelming White Diamond can be, and I am not just referring to her height.
Sentinel would rather have his spark be extinguished than admit to this, but his stabilizing servos get wobbly at the idea of his alien girlfriend being so much taller than he is. His pride would never admit to this, nor would it accept someone taller than him accompanying him. He believes that as a "Prime," he is supposed to be much taller, bigger, and more imposing than those around them.
Whenever they make a public appearance, Sentinel insists that White shrink herself to a height more tolerable for his fragile ego. He bullshits an excuse about their buildings not being designed for a being as tall as she is. White obliges, but given how Iacon was built when the previous actual Primes were all gigantic and alive, she quickly figures his lie and confronts him about it. He'd just lie again and say he didn't want the other Cybertronians to be intimidated... by her beauty. Clearly, it's not because of some Napolean complex or something. Still, White in her patience era takes the compliment for what it is.
The "guy who doesn't like speeches" vs. "professional yapper" isn't a joke. Sentinel can't stand how much White Diamond loves to yap. She's the kind of person to have thoughts and opinions about anything and everything. Given that she doesn't breathe, she doesn't even need to catch her breath in the middle of speaking, so she can go on and on and on, much to Sentinel's annoyance.
He tries to get her to quiet down at times, but as White tends to do, she either doesn't hear him or straight up ignores him. Her monologuing, along with her height and just how shiny she is, is very overwhelming for Sentinel at times. The only good thing he finds about this aspect of his sweetspark is when she dotes on him and showers him with compliments and attention. As if a attention hungry fame whore needed any more of it.
Sentinel even allows White to indulge in her psychoanalysis, playing up the whole "tragic hero whose brothers and sisters perished in battle and now has to face the pain and weight of protecting his people alone" that she eats up. White does sometimes hit dangerously close to home, so Sentinel shuts her down before she could dig straight to bedrock and uncover the more unfavorable parts of himself he wants to stay hidden.
Speaking of staying hidden, the way White carries herself in public makes Sentinel was to keep her locked away in a jewelry box. White is excellent when it comes to using her words to inflict psychic damage or to build someone up. When it comes to social situations where charisma, relatability, and poise are needed, this is when White is at her most alien. She is not the most socially adjusted given that prior to the finale, she spent thousands of years hidden away in a world of her own delusions. She doesn't have much of a filter, something she has been working on to avoid upsetting offending others.
She has the habit of pointing out any interesting thing that catches her eye, especially about people, whether or not it's positive or negative. This has led to her unsettling the bots at best or offending them at worst. Sentinel then has to come in and use his charisma to difuse the situation and paint her behavior in a more positive light. Only for White to turn around and ask everyone if they ever noticed how Sentinel's wings move in accordance to his mood and how adorable it is. Everyone laughs. Sentinel is thoroughly pissed.
Sentinel definitely has more relationship experience than White Diamond. All of her knowledge comes from what she's heard from the gems that come to her for her advice or from that human show the little green Crystal Gem recommended (she can't remember her name). In her attempts to emulate the behavior of what she's heard of and observed, she ends up coming off as cringe at best or detached from reality. At certain points of the relationship, she even imposes certain "deadlines" on courtship behaviors she expects from Sentinel. All his previous relationships were private, casual flings. He only made this one public because bagging a bad bitch like White Diamond is an accomplishment he felt he had to show off.
This may come to bite him in the aft when her radiance catches the attention of other bots. On these occasions, he acts possessive and showers her with attention, gifts, and affection. He tells himself and Airachnid it's because he doesn't want her to outshine him in the eyes of the public. In reality, he gets jealous and doesn't want to lose her interest and, most importantly, her attention. As overwhelming and embarrassing as she can get, a twisted part of him really craves her attention.
In private, Sentinel can flip flop greatly in how he treats White. On some days he leans on her for support and wants her to pet his wings while he vents about all the dumb, annoying bots he has to fraternize with and all the boring meetings he has to attend. White occasionally interrupts him with advice or her own views on the situation, which frustrates Sentinel. On other days, he's completely detached, not even bothering to give her the time of day. He is at his most consistently sweet and romantic when they're both in the public eye, performing grand gestures of love. This intensifies when they're on camera.
They present themselves as THE Iacon couple, but Sentinel and White argue a lot about pretty much anything. More often than not, White is trying to advise him on how to improve himself and his city, and Sentinel kindly tells her to shut up and mind her own business.
They are both very prideful people who can't accept when they are wrong. White is more willing than Sentinel to admit to it and compromise. If she believes she is 100% in the right, she won't go down without a verbal fight. She has yet to figure out how to properly counter Sentinel's "NUH UH!" though. She believes this is normal and healthy as she hears time and time again how arguments are a sign of a functional relationship. White knows how in the past she never allowed anyone to express their grievances or criticize her. If they did, she'd twist their words to further force her own viewpoint or take control over their mind and body. Seeing Sentinel passionately argue back while White practices her listening skills and only sometimes speaks over him gives her hope that she isn't regressing back to her previous toxicity. No one has told her that disagreements are healthy and normal, but frequent fights and arguments are not. And the kind of hellish circles these two go in just ain't it
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gingermintpepper · 3 months ago
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Absolutely the funniest thing about my current corner of tumblr is that pretty much everyone I've recently followed for Apollo-Appreciating Purposes are either genuinely Hellenist or just rather very into Rick Riordan's Trials of Apollo series which is wild because I know a net zero about both of those things.
#I've never been interested in Riordan's work and the Percy Jackson books I did read as a young lad didn't change my mind on that topic#Growing up I preferred a very one or the other method for my greek adaptational content#which essentially means either you're a play or an adaptation of a legit story or myth with recogniseable figures and plotpoints#or you're an original story with mythical elements but the myths and the adaptations and interpretations of those myths is secondary#Percy Jackson did both and it was very disorienting for me because the books were well grounded enough that when I came into contact#with some element I didn't recognise or couldn't remember I myself would get confused and go “Is that true? like really?? :0c”#Then I ran a library book club and Percy Jackson books were p much all the kids wanted to read#but they rejected all of my supplementary greek myth exercises and got a lot of stuff mixed around#because percy jackson does a rather good job of making a convincing argument that it knows its stuff and people will quicker cite that#than do readings of the much more difficult older texts and translations of text#It's not Percy Jackson's fault it's just a bad experience that stuck with me and by extension leaked over into Trials of Apollo when that#was released#Trials of Apollo was crazy because I generally make it my business to consume any and all greek myth interpretational media that bothers#to include Apollo (there is a shockingly low amount of things that do that)#however a LOT of novels especially never let Apollo retain the dignity of a god in their portrayals of him#and have him resemble a teenager more than anything even remotely close to an adult#I had just gotten finished reading a novel adaptation of the story of Coronis and Apollo with this same issue#so when I opened the first volume of ToA and saw that Apollo simply genuinely WAS a teenager#Frankly I just closed the book and put it back on the bookstore shelf and very calmly walked away LMFAO#I have nothing to say about Hellenists and neo hellenists y'all seem like wonderful people and I hope#you have a lovely time with your e-offerings and worship#unless you are my single personal friend with Apollo as your patron#then I wish you 1000 woes and 10000 divine brain blasts#toa#pjo#ginger rambles
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j-esbian · 3 months ago
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i lost the post but i saw someone talking about how some of y’all act like being weird is a choice and like. YEAHHHHHHH.
that’s fine, it might be for you. but i just live like this and don’t know any other way. like yeah i’ve worked customer service, i can do innocuous small talk, but anything beyond that, i don’t understand what i’m missing. and it’s frustrating to see the tonal disconnect especially from people who are like “uwu embrace weirdness!!” where they’re like. dressing quirky and talking about bugs and listening to obscure music and eschewing small talk to ask Deep Questions on the first date and unlearning their tendency to not infodump. and generally have an idea of what Weirdness is supposed to look like. idk man some of us wake up and get out of bed and can’t figure out why the rest of their coworkers chitchat with each other but when they join the conversation it dies.
weirdness is value neutral. let’s stop trying to turn it into a badge because quite frankly, it’s not a choice for everyone. it’s fucking exhausting to never be on the same wavelength as other people and they’re going to react the way they do and label you the way they will without any conscious actions on your end. it’s difficult to talk about this without feeling like you’ll be dismissed as immature, a teenager whining “no one understands me” but the thing is. sometimes you don’t grow out of feeling alone and different, and there’s no good way to talk about it without feeling like people will think you’re just fishing for pity.
#most of it is stuff i can’t help like!!!#coworkers and i don’t share a lot of interests so i’m always like. yes i’ve heard of that show but haven’t seen it. no idk that band sorry#and they’ll like. talk shit abt other people who share my interests without realizing that i also like those things#so i just have to sit there and take it#i feel like i don’t have a lot in common with my friends even. a few shared interests but very different lives#in my experience the conscious choice has been to try to keep up with what’s popular but it’s just. not interesting to me#i got bored and forgot to finish s2 of stranger things and never picked it back up#even alt subcultures have gone kinda mainstream and i never quite slot in#let’s not even touch the gay culture ‘flags’ that are extremely online and unrelatablr#and the most frustrating thing. every time i try to talk about myself and my interests i feel people shutting down#one person i know. open mouth sighs in exasperation when i open my mouth#i don’t know why you’re making it my problem that we’re different#i know there is supposed to be a niche out there for everyone but some of that feels like#those niches are falling prey to marketability. if you’re too far out of the mainstream. too out of touch. it can’t be helped#a lot of messaging online is like. embrace weirdness but only if it’s subversive in a very specific way#too normal to hang out with self-proclaimed proud weirdos. too weird to hang out with normies#like i thought the thing was to disavow performativity. i’m sorry i don’t find the same things interesting#i don’t care about the office and you don’t care about the hundred years’ war. that’s fine. why is that seen as a personal fault of mine#i feel like some of the reaction i get might be bc it comes across as hipster shit. idk#i’m literally just oblivious and looking for any kind of indicator for social interaction#but so often it feels like the onus of finding common ground is on me. i have to listen abt things idk but no one cares what i have to say#i think what makes it more frustrating is this reaction from people who claim to not care. do their own thing#and then get annoyed when i do mine and it’s. different#instead of being like ‘fuck the mainstream! conformity is bullshit! be yourself!’ it’s like#‘fuck the mainstream because it doesn’t appeal to me personally and i’ve made my own club!’#and this is not going to come out right because i’m just at my limit and venting and don’t know how to say things the right way#so people don’t misunderstand me#i just happen to never like the Right Things and know the Right Things and act the Right Way and idk how else to say it other than#can we be more normal about weird people#idk it’s hard to talk abt this without sounding like i’m just complaining but i’m more bewildered and trying to state things as i see them
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